WEBVTT
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Hello there and welcome back to the Binge Eating Dietician Podcast.
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It's Joe here, registered dietitian, here to help you smash your binge eating.
00:00:16.929 --> 00:00:22.609
So today's episode is all about when every weekend seems to turn into a binge.
00:00:22.689 --> 00:00:24.929
And I thought this would be a good time to record it.
00:00:25.089 --> 00:00:33.890
It's Friday right now, and I know from seeing clients over the last few weeks that they're always it's always like there's this all or nothing mentality.
00:00:34.129 --> 00:00:46.929
Every weekend it's be good all week, and then at the weekend it's like you get to let your hair down, you get to just blow off steam, and it's like the pendulum shifts the other way and you are binging all weekend.
00:00:47.649 --> 00:00:49.729
So I've written up this episode too.
00:00:49.810 --> 00:00:53.570
You can find the link for the written version in the description for this episode.
00:00:53.649 --> 00:01:03.490
And make sure that you subscribe because I'm actually really lighting, I'm really liking putting together all these words of wisdoms into like pieces of writing for you that you can just kind of skim through.
00:01:03.570 --> 00:01:08.609
Because sometimes you want to listen to a podcast and sometimes you just want to skim through something for a quick read.
00:01:08.849 --> 00:01:10.210
So let's get into it.
00:01:10.450 --> 00:01:13.409
Whenever weekend turns into a binge.
00:01:14.129 --> 00:01:18.129
So when I struggled with binge eating, I absolutely hated weekends.
00:01:18.370 --> 00:01:19.969
I missed the routine of the week.
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I hated all the unstructured free time, and it gave my mind too much opportunity to overthink everything.
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If I happened to see a post online with friends or colleagues out living their best life while I was able to no mates at home, it would send me into a depressive spiral.
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And on some level, I knew that this isn't how I wanted to live my weekends and my life, my life forever.
00:01:43.330 --> 00:01:47.569
I didn't want to avoid having free time because of the risk of binge eating.
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I knew this was a major red flag.
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I worked hard.
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I deserved to enjoy my time off.
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But of course, that time off came with that risk of binging.
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So I just really wasn't enjoying it at the time.
00:02:00.050 --> 00:02:01.650
And maybe I'm speaking to you too.
00:02:01.729 --> 00:02:04.610
Maybe you've spent the weekend trying to be good around food.
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You've been eating carefully, sticking to your plan, and trying to compensate for something that you ate earlier in the week.
00:02:11.330 --> 00:02:13.250
Then Friday arrives.
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You treat yourself to a takeaway, you have some chocolate, some crisps, biscuits, or dessert.
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You tell yourself, well, I've already blown it, so I might as well carry on.
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Saturday comes around and the binging continues.
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By Sunday evening, you feel like you've spent the entire week eating.
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And then Monday arrives.
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You wake up feeling uncomfortable, guilty, and ashamed.
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You promise yourself that this week will be different.
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You might decide to eat less, cut out certain foods, exercise more, or start a new diet plan.
00:02:44.449 --> 00:02:46.849
And so the cycle begins again.
00:02:47.969 --> 00:02:52.769
Here is advice that I would give myself if I was trapped in that dreaded cycle again.
00:02:53.489 --> 00:02:56.530
First up, I want you to be more about what has happened.
00:02:56.689 --> 00:03:01.409
So after a binge, it can be incredibly difficult to have an objective view of what you've eaten.
00:03:01.569 --> 00:03:07.650
Binge eating is secretive, it encourages you to isolate yourself and become completely consumed by your thoughts about food.
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You might find yourself mentally listing everything that you ate the chocolate, the crisps, the biscuits, the takeaway, the dessert, and you replay this in your head.
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I can't believe I've eaten that, I've completely lost control.
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But I want you to pause for a moment and try to look at what has happened as objectively as you possibly can.
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One exercise I suggest is to imagine that a friend has told you exactly what they'd eaten over the weekend.
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Would you automatically tell them they've eaten an outrageous amount of food?
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Would you tell them that they have failed?
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Would you tell them that they now needed to compensate?
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Or might you see the situation a little bit differently when it isn't happening to you?
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I'm definitely not suggesting that you convince yourself that a binge didn't happen if it did, but being objective allows you to step away from the intense shame and panic that can make the experience feel even bigger and more catastrophic.
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What if you're saying to yourself, but Joe, I genuinely can't trust myself around food?
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Dear listener, I used to believe this too.
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I was 100% convinced that I had no other option but to eat it when chocolate entered my orbit, it was going to be eaten sooner or later.
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There was no alternative.
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I was going to eat it all.
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I told myself I can't be trusted around it.
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If I buy biscuits, I'll eat the whole packet.
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I can't have certain foods in the house, and if I start eating, I can't stop.
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And I really do understand why you feel this way.
00:04:44.529 --> 00:04:53.009
If you've repeatedly experienced binge eating around certain foods, it makes complete sense that you would start to believe that those foods are dangerous for you.
00:04:53.329 --> 00:05:04.209
But I'd encourage you to be careful about repeatedly telling yourself that you can't be trusted around food, because the more that you repeat this message, the more firmly it can become part of your identity.
00:05:04.449 --> 00:05:10.209
You start to see yourself as someone who simply cannot be trusted around this delicious food.
00:05:10.689 --> 00:05:12.209
And where does that leave you?
00:05:12.449 --> 00:05:15.569
Because the thing is, chocolate is always going to exist.
00:05:15.810 --> 00:05:20.529
Biscuits are going to exist, birthday cake is going to exist, takeaways are going to exist.
00:05:20.849 --> 00:05:23.889
You are going to encounter these foods throughout your life.
00:05:24.050 --> 00:05:31.569
So it's not helpful for you to continue saying to yourself, I can't be trusted around these foods, I'm just somebody who can't have chocolate in the house.
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If your long-term goal is to heal your relationship with food, the goal cannot ultimately be to avoid every food that you currently associate with binging.
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You need the possibility of eventually being able to trust yourself around food again.
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And remember this: you have not struggled with binge eating for your entire life.
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There was a time when food didn't occupy so much space in my mind and in your mind too.
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There was a time when you could eat something delicious without immediately wondering whether you were going to binge.
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There was a time when you could eat and simply move on with your day.
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That version of you hasn't disappeared.
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You may need more time, support, and work to get back to a more peaceful relationship with food, but binging does not have to define your relationship with food forever.
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Next thing, and this isn't really, really important.
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You still need to eat on Monday, and keep telling yourself that.
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This is the part I really want you to hear.
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If you've binged over the weekend, you still need to eat today.
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I know that might sound incredibly difficult.
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You're thinking, but I've eaten so much, you might feel so full, you might feel that you need to make up for it.
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You might decide to skip breakfast, have only coffee, eat very little throughout the day, and promise yourself that you'll be really good this week.
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But restricting your food because you binged over the weekend can keep the binge restrict cycle going and it does keep it going.
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So instead of asking yourself, how can I eat today to make up for the how little can I eat today to make up for the weekend?
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Try asking yourself, what does my body need from me today?
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That means returning to your pattern of regular eating rather than trying to compensate.
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And please don't feel that you have to make your Monday meals as healthy, low calorie, or restrictive as possible.
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You still deserve food that you enjoy, you still deserve satisfying meals, you don't have to punish yourself with food because of what happened yesterday.
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And you definitely don't need to earn your way out of a binge.
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One of the most difficult things about binge eating is the enormous pressure to compensate afterwards.
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You might want to exercise to burn it off, you might decide to skip meals, you might promise yourself that you'll avoid chocolate for the rest of the week.
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You might start calculating how many calories you've consumed, you might step on scales and decide that Monday is the day that you're finally going to get back on track.
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But recovery doesn't come from becoming better at compensating for binge eating, it comes from beginning to understand the cycle.
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What was happening before the binge?
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Were you restricting?
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Were you trying to save calories?
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Were you telling yourself that you weren't allowed certain foods?
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Were you hungry?
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Were you exhausted?
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Were you using food rules to try to feel in control?
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Were you emotionally overwhelmed?
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The binge is important, but so is everything that came before it.
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Please don't write off the entire weekend.
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Another trap is the idea that once you binge on the Friday night that the weekend's already ruined.
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Well I've blown it now, so I might as well carry on.
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This all or nothing thinking can turn one episode of binge eating into an entire weekend of binge eating.
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But Friday night doesn't have to determine what happens on Saturday.
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And Saturday doesn't have to determine what happens on Sunday.
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You don't have to wait until Monday to start again.
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You can simply return to your next meal.
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You can eat breakfast on Saturday even if Friday night didn't go how you wanted.
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You can eat lunch on Sunday without trying to compensate for Saturday.
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You can have dinner on Sunday without deciding that you'll be good all week afterwards.
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There is no need for a dramatic reset.
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What if you wake up on Monday weighed down by shame?
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First, I want you to take a breath.
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You are not a bad person because you binged.
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You have not failed at being a healthy person, you haven't ruined everything, and you don't need to punish yourself today.
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Instead, see if you can approach Monday with curiosity rather than judgment.
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Ask yourself what was going on before the weekend started?
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What did you believe you were and weren't allowed to eat?
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Were you restricting during the week?
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Were you trying to save calories for the weekend?
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What happened emotionally?
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What did you need that the food was trying to help you to meet?
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These questions are much more useful than simply asking, why can't I control myself?
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Remember, you are allowed to eat today.
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If you are waking up now and it's Monday morning after binging all weekend, this is what I want you to remember.
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You still need to eat, you still deserve satisfying food, you don't need to compensate, you don't need to start another diet, you don't need to spend the day thinking about how much you ate yesterday, and you definitely don't need to wait until Monday to try again.
00:10:21.330 --> 00:10:23.090
You can start with your next meal.
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If binge eating has become a regular part of your life, you don't need to have it all figured out by yourself.
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Seeking support doesn't mean that you have failed or that you should be able to fix this yourself.
00:10:34.930 --> 00:10:43.890
Sometimes you simply need someone to help you understand what is keeping the cycle going, and that it's very different from needing more willpower.
00:10:44.290 --> 00:10:46.930
So let me recamp over those points again.
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So the first thing I need you to do is to be objective about what happened.
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Don't let yourself spiral into the oh my god, I've eaten so much.
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Step back and think about if a friend told me they'd eaten this much, would I think it was a crazy amount of food, or do they just go overboard a little bit?
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So first be objective, and then when you say to yourself, but I genuinely can trust myself around food, I want you to try to rein that in because that is impacting your identity.
00:11:15.970 --> 00:11:21.490
You're starting to become somebody who can't be trusted around food when you reinforce that message.
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I need you to remember that you still need to eat on Monday, and that you don't need to earn your way out of a binge.
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Please don't write off the entire weekend.
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Friday doesn't determine Saturday, Saturday doesn't determine Sunday.
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And if you wake up on Monday weighed down by shame, please remember that you are allowed to eat today.
00:11:45.730 --> 00:11:47.890
Alright, dear listener, I will leave it there.
00:11:48.050 --> 00:12:00.610
If you found this episode helpful and you would like to seek more individualized support, I do these one-off clarity consultations and 90-minute deep dive to help you give you that clarity that you need for moving forward from this.
00:12:00.770 --> 00:12:04.050
You don't need another diet plan, you need more clarity.
00:12:04.610 --> 00:12:09.170
So I will leave the link for that in the show notes, and you can reach out at any time.
00:12:09.330 --> 00:12:12.930
Send me a message on Instagram, I'm at binge.eating.dietician.
00:12:13.170 --> 00:12:15.490
And actually, I forgot to tell you, I have a new email address.
00:12:15.570 --> 00:12:18.450
It's drjuannoscalu at gmail.com.
00:12:18.530 --> 00:12:20.450
I'll leave that in the show notes too.
00:12:20.850 --> 00:12:23.970
So check out my one-to-one 90-minute deep dive sessions.
00:12:24.129 --> 00:12:30.850
You can read this article on Ghost, or you can email me with any feedback or anything that you'd like me to bring up on the podcast.
00:12:31.170 --> 00:12:32.610
All right, I will chat to you soon.
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Until then, please take care of yourself.
00:00:07.890 --> 00:00:11.570
Hello there and welcome back to the Binge Eating Dietician Podcast.
00:00:11.650 --> 00:00:16.689
It's Joe here, registered dietitian, here to help you smash your binge eating.
00:00:16.929 --> 00:00:22.609
So today's episode is all about when every weekend seems to turn into a binge.
00:00:22.689 --> 00:00:24.929
And I thought this would be a good time to record it.
00:00:25.089 --> 00:00:33.890
It's Friday right now, and I know from seeing clients over the last few weeks that they're always it's always like there's this all or nothing mentality.
00:00:34.129 --> 00:00:46.929
Every weekend it's be good all week, and then at the weekend it's like you get to let your hair down, you get to just blow off steam, and it's like the pendulum shifts the other way and you are binging all weekend.
00:00:47.649 --> 00:00:49.729
So I've written up this episode too.
00:00:49.810 --> 00:00:53.570
You can find the link for the written version in the description for this episode.
00:00:53.649 --> 00:01:03.490
And make sure that you subscribe because I'm actually really lighting, I'm really liking putting together all these words of wisdoms into like pieces of writing for you that you can just kind of skim through.
00:01:03.570 --> 00:01:08.609
Because sometimes you want to listen to a podcast and sometimes you just want to skim through something for a quick read.
00:01:08.849 --> 00:01:10.210
So let's get into it.
00:01:10.450 --> 00:01:13.409
Whenever weekend turns into a binge.
00:01:14.129 --> 00:01:18.129
So when I struggled with binge eating, I absolutely hated weekends.
00:01:18.370 --> 00:01:19.969
I missed the routine of the week.
00:01:20.129 --> 00:01:25.969
I hated all the unstructured free time, and it gave my mind too much opportunity to overthink everything.
00:01:26.530 --> 00:01:36.610
If I happened to see a post online with friends or colleagues out living their best life while I was able to no mates at home, it would send me into a depressive spiral.
00:01:37.409 --> 00:01:43.090
And on some level, I knew that this isn't how I wanted to live my weekends and my life, my life forever.
00:01:43.330 --> 00:01:47.569
I didn't want to avoid having free time because of the risk of binge eating.
00:01:47.729 --> 00:01:49.729
I knew this was a major red flag.
00:01:49.889 --> 00:01:50.610
I worked hard.
00:01:50.689 --> 00:01:52.849
I deserved to enjoy my time off.
00:01:53.250 --> 00:01:56.530
But of course, that time off came with that risk of binging.
00:01:56.610 --> 00:01:59.250
So I just really wasn't enjoying it at the time.
00:02:00.050 --> 00:02:01.650
And maybe I'm speaking to you too.
00:02:01.729 --> 00:02:04.610
Maybe you've spent the weekend trying to be good around food.
00:02:04.770 --> 00:02:11.090
You've been eating carefully, sticking to your plan, and trying to compensate for something that you ate earlier in the week.
00:02:11.330 --> 00:02:13.250
Then Friday arrives.
00:02:13.569 --> 00:02:18.609
You treat yourself to a takeaway, you have some chocolate, some crisps, biscuits, or dessert.
00:02:18.769 --> 00:02:23.250
You tell yourself, well, I've already blown it, so I might as well carry on.
00:02:23.729 --> 00:02:26.530
Saturday comes around and the binging continues.
00:02:26.769 --> 00:02:31.009
By Sunday evening, you feel like you've spent the entire week eating.
00:02:31.569 --> 00:02:33.569
And then Monday arrives.
00:02:33.810 --> 00:02:36.609
You wake up feeling uncomfortable, guilty, and ashamed.
00:02:36.769 --> 00:02:38.849
You promise yourself that this week will be different.
00:02:39.090 --> 00:02:44.289
You might decide to eat less, cut out certain foods, exercise more, or start a new diet plan.
00:02:44.449 --> 00:02:46.849
And so the cycle begins again.
00:02:47.969 --> 00:02:52.769
Here is advice that I would give myself if I was trapped in that dreaded cycle again.
00:02:53.489 --> 00:02:56.530
First up, I want you to be more about what has happened.
00:02:56.689 --> 00:03:01.409
So after a binge, it can be incredibly difficult to have an objective view of what you've eaten.
00:03:01.569 --> 00:03:07.650
Binge eating is secretive, it encourages you to isolate yourself and become completely consumed by your thoughts about food.
00:03:07.889 --> 00:03:15.569
You might find yourself mentally listing everything that you ate the chocolate, the crisps, the biscuits, the takeaway, the dessert, and you replay this in your head.
00:03:23.489 --> 00:03:27.329
I can't believe I've eaten that, I've completely lost control.
00:03:28.209 --> 00:03:34.530
But I want you to pause for a moment and try to look at what has happened as objectively as you possibly can.
00:03:35.409 --> 00:03:41.489
One exercise I suggest is to imagine that a friend has told you exactly what they'd eaten over the weekend.
00:03:41.810 --> 00:03:45.729
Would you automatically tell them they've eaten an outrageous amount of food?
00:03:45.889 --> 00:03:47.569
Would you tell them that they have failed?
00:03:47.810 --> 00:03:50.449
Would you tell them that they now needed to compensate?
00:03:50.689 --> 00:03:55.489
Or might you see the situation a little bit differently when it isn't happening to you?
00:03:56.209 --> 00:04:10.209
I'm definitely not suggesting that you convince yourself that a binge didn't happen if it did, but being objective allows you to step away from the intense shame and panic that can make the experience feel even bigger and more catastrophic.
00:04:11.729 --> 00:04:16.610
What if you're saying to yourself, but Joe, I genuinely can't trust myself around food?
00:04:17.009 --> 00:04:19.250
Dear listener, I used to believe this too.
00:04:19.410 --> 00:04:28.370
I was 100% convinced that I had no other option but to eat it when chocolate entered my orbit, it was going to be eaten sooner or later.
00:04:28.529 --> 00:04:29.649
There was no alternative.
00:04:29.810 --> 00:04:31.329
I was going to eat it all.
00:04:31.490 --> 00:04:33.969
I told myself I can't be trusted around it.
00:04:34.129 --> 00:04:36.209
If I buy biscuits, I'll eat the whole packet.
00:04:36.370 --> 00:04:41.170
I can't have certain foods in the house, and if I start eating, I can't stop.
00:04:41.730 --> 00:04:44.370
And I really do understand why you feel this way.
00:04:44.529 --> 00:04:53.009
If you've repeatedly experienced binge eating around certain foods, it makes complete sense that you would start to believe that those foods are dangerous for you.
00:04:53.329 --> 00:05:04.209
But I'd encourage you to be careful about repeatedly telling yourself that you can't be trusted around food, because the more that you repeat this message, the more firmly it can become part of your identity.
00:05:04.449 --> 00:05:10.209
You start to see yourself as someone who simply cannot be trusted around this delicious food.
00:05:10.689 --> 00:05:12.209
And where does that leave you?
00:05:12.449 --> 00:05:15.569
Because the thing is, chocolate is always going to exist.
00:05:15.810 --> 00:05:20.529
Biscuits are going to exist, birthday cake is going to exist, takeaways are going to exist.
00:05:20.849 --> 00:05:23.889
You are going to encounter these foods throughout your life.
00:05:24.050 --> 00:05:31.569
So it's not helpful for you to continue saying to yourself, I can't be trusted around these foods, I'm just somebody who can't have chocolate in the house.
00:05:32.290 --> 00:05:40.689
If your long-term goal is to heal your relationship with food, the goal cannot ultimately be to avoid every food that you currently associate with binging.
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You need the possibility of eventually being able to trust yourself around food again.
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And remember this: you have not struggled with binge eating for your entire life.
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There was a time when food didn't occupy so much space in my mind and in your mind too.
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There was a time when you could eat something delicious without immediately wondering whether you were going to binge.
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There was a time when you could eat and simply move on with your day.
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That version of you hasn't disappeared.
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You may need more time, support, and work to get back to a more peaceful relationship with food, but binging does not have to define your relationship with food forever.
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Next thing, and this isn't really, really important.
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You still need to eat on Monday, and keep telling yourself that.
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This is the part I really want you to hear.
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If you've binged over the weekend, you still need to eat today.
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I know that might sound incredibly difficult.
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You're thinking, but I've eaten so much, you might feel so full, you might feel that you need to make up for it.
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You might decide to skip breakfast, have only coffee, eat very little throughout the day, and promise yourself that you'll be really good this week.
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But restricting your food because you binged over the weekend can keep the binge restrict cycle going and it does keep it going.
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So instead of asking yourself, how can I eat today to make up for the how little can I eat today to make up for the weekend?
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Try asking yourself, what does my body need from me today?
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That means returning to your pattern of regular eating rather than trying to compensate.
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And please don't feel that you have to make your Monday meals as healthy, low calorie, or restrictive as possible.
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You still deserve food that you enjoy, you still deserve satisfying meals, you don't have to punish yourself with food because of what happened yesterday.
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And you definitely don't need to earn your way out of a binge.
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One of the most difficult things about binge eating is the enormous pressure to compensate afterwards.
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You might want to exercise to burn it off, you might decide to skip meals, you might promise yourself that you'll avoid chocolate for the rest of the week.
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You might start calculating how many calories you've consumed, you might step on scales and decide that Monday is the day that you're finally going to get back on track.
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But recovery doesn't come from becoming better at compensating for binge eating, it comes from beginning to understand the cycle.
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What was happening before the binge?
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Were you restricting?
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Were you trying to save calories?
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Were you telling yourself that you weren't allowed certain foods?
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Were you hungry?
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Were you exhausted?
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Were you using food rules to try to feel in control?
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Were you emotionally overwhelmed?
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The binge is important, but so is everything that came before it.
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Please don't write off the entire weekend.
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Another trap is the idea that once you binge on the Friday night that the weekend's already ruined.
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Well I've blown it now, so I might as well carry on.
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This all or nothing thinking can turn one episode of binge eating into an entire weekend of binge eating.
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But Friday night doesn't have to determine what happens on Saturday.
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And Saturday doesn't have to determine what happens on Sunday.
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You don't have to wait until Monday to start again.
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You can simply return to your next meal.
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You can eat breakfast on Saturday even if Friday night didn't go how you wanted.
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You can eat lunch on Sunday without trying to compensate for Saturday.
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You can have dinner on Sunday without deciding that you'll be good all week afterwards.
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There is no need for a dramatic reset.
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What if you wake up on Monday weighed down by shame?
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First, I want you to take a breath.
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You are not a bad person because you binged.
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You have not failed at being a healthy person, you haven't ruined everything, and you don't need to punish yourself today.
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Instead, see if you can approach Monday with curiosity rather than judgment.
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Ask yourself what was going on before the weekend started?
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What did you believe you were and weren't allowed to eat?
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Were you restricting during the week?
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Were you trying to save calories for the weekend?
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What happened emotionally?
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What did you need that the food was trying to help you to meet?
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These questions are much more useful than simply asking, why can't I control myself?
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Remember, you are allowed to eat today.
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If you are waking up now and it's Monday morning after binging all weekend, this is what I want you to remember.
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You still need to eat, you still deserve satisfying food, you don't need to compensate, you don't need to start another diet, you don't need to spend the day thinking about how much you ate yesterday, and you definitely don't need to wait until Monday to try again.
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You can start with your next meal.
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If binge eating has become a regular part of your life, you don't need to have it all figured out by yourself.
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Seeking support doesn't mean that you have failed or that you should be able to fix this yourself.
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Sometimes you simply need someone to help you understand what is keeping the cycle going, and that it's very different from needing more willpower.
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So let me recamp over those points again.
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So the first thing I need you to do is to be objective about what happened.
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Don't let yourself spiral into the oh my god, I've eaten so much.
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Step back and think about if a friend told me they'd eaten this much, would I think it was a crazy amount of food, or do they just go overboard a little bit?
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So first be objective, and then when you say to yourself, but I genuinely can trust myself around food, I want you to try to rein that in because that is impacting your identity.
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You're starting to become somebody who can't be trusted around food when you reinforce that message.
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I need you to remember that you still need to eat on Monday, and that you don't need to earn your way out of a binge.
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Please don't write off the entire weekend.
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Friday doesn't determine Saturday, Saturday doesn't determine Sunday.
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And if you wake up on Monday weighed down by shame, please remember that you are allowed to eat today.
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Alright, dear listener, I will leave it there.
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If you found this episode helpful and you would like to seek more individualized support, I do these one-off clarity consultations and 90-minute deep dive to help you give you that clarity that you need for moving forward from this.
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You don't need another diet plan, you need more clarity.
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So I will leave the link for that in the show notes, and you can reach out at any time.
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Send me a message on Instagram, I'm at binge.eating.dietician.
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And actually, I forgot to tell you, I have a new email address.
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It's drjuannoscalu at gmail.com.
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I'll leave that in the show notes too.
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So check out my one-to-one 90-minute deep dive sessions.
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You can read this article on Ghost, or you can email me with any feedback or anything that you'd like me to bring up on the podcast.
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All right, I will chat to you soon.
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Until then, please take care of yourself.
