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So stop shrinking yourself to fit in.
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Please start posting your truth, your opinion, and your voice.
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If something aligns with you and it feels right in the moment, post it.
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We hold ourselves back because we feel judged.
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Just think of all your posts as being the experiment.
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Are you really sharing your experience?
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Are you really sharing what you know?
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Hello and welcome to Beyond the Tweezers.
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If you haven't yet done so, please press that follow, subscribe, or whatever button is in front of you so you never miss an episode.
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It also helps this podcast grow more than you ever know.
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So to get all these incredible guests and for it to get its name out there, you just simply pressing that button makes all the difference.
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So in today's episode, I really want to talk about being unapologetically you and to stop shrinking yourself to fit in.
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And actually start posting your truth, your opinion, and your voice.
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I know that can be difficult because social media can sometimes feel like an echo chamber.
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A lot of educators are talking about the same things, and then sometimes you feel like you fall into that trap, and then you end up jumping on the bandwagon and talking about what they're talking about, and sometimes you may not even agree with what it is, but you feel like you're having to do that because that's what the right piece of education is, and I'll be completely honest, I used to be like that when I was first starting out in like the education world.
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I actually would be scared to voice a way that I do it, I would be scared to show a technique differently to what other people were doing.
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I've mentioned before, like I'd even share a way to hold the tweezers, and it wasn't even my way of holding the tweezers because, like you know, my fingers are super bendy, so I actually hold my tweezer like a pen, whereas a lot of lash artists show that you hold it with like three fingers and a farm and all that jazz.
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But with me, I do it differently.
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And what I've learned throughout my whole experience in my business and being an educator and an artist is that when you speak honestly and openly and show what you've learned from your experience, you're not telling people that they're doing it wrong, you're also not telling people how to do it, you are showing what you do, you are showing how you do things and what works for you, and that actually builds connection with your audience, with your followers, with people in the industry who maybe want to better in their own skill, and it just shows authenticity.
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You're not saying what everyone else is saying, you're not echoing what everyone else is saying, you are saying your truth, and I have found recently that goes so much further than copying or jumping on the bandwagon, and being you is your superpower, no one is you, so stop comparing yourself, stop feeling like you're having to be someone you're not, or you're having to be like someone else.
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You are you, you are literally enough, and I think I needed to hear that throughout my career because I never really felt like I was enough, and I'm not gonna lie about that, like I used to always doubt myself, like you know, I've had like the imposter syndrome, I still get it now.
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But when you know that your voice matters, and when you do speak, people will listen, people will hear what you have to say, and you never know how many people you might help by just sharing your experience and what works for you.
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So, I actually remember when I was a judge for I would say like maybe the second time in my career, and it was this big award ceremony, okay?
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And I remember going with my friend Kirsty.
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So, Kirsty, if you're listening, listening to this, love you.
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Me and Kirsty go to the same events and we always stay in the hotel together, we're always with each other.
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Like, she's one of probably my greatest lash friends.
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We don't see each other all the time, we really only see each other around events, but she makes me laugh so much, like she's such a great friend, and I literally love her to pieces.
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Anyway, we I was a judge for this event.
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She had she was a participant.
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We both went together, met at the hotel, and I remember being in this room, and someone came over to me, and they were like, Oh, you're judging, da-da-da.
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Um, I'm judging XYZ, and they went on to say how some of the work wasn't that great, okay.
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And I remember standing there thinking, oh my god, there's so many people like around us, like, what if they hear what you're saying?
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And I almost felt like so consumed, like I was like, Oh my god, like you know when you want to say to someone, like, stop talking, like stop doing that.
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Because I was so fearful of being judged, and I didn't know how to behave like as a judge.
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And I remember saying to Kirsty when we were getting ready, I was like, Am I allowed to get drunk?
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Like, am I allowed as a judge?
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Am I allowed to dance on the dance floor and let loose and just like have the best time?
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Or am I meant to be, I don't know, like oozing sensibility, or do you know what I mean?
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I don't know what the word is, but you know, like just being I am I am one of the judges, dah-da-da.
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And she was like, no, Cash, you can just be you, and I was like, I know, but I don't want people to judge me, and like if I get drunk, I literally will dance the night away.
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I'm literally the last one on the dance floor, and I was so worried about letting my hair down and being in this next part of my career.
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But then people may look at me and be like, Oh, Caris, you're a judge, you're not meant to be doing that.
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Or, oh, look at her.
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Like, I would actually think like people would be looking at me going, Oh, what is Karis doing?
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Like, she's she's a judge, or like when I leave, they might be saying to their friends, Oh, did you see Karis at the judge for volume?
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Like, well, she had a good time.
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Or, do you know what I mean?
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I was that consumed, like I almost felt I had to have this like persona.
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I was still me, but I didn't feel like I could literally like fully relax because I was in like a new stage of my career, and I just didn't know how to be.
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Like, I just didn't know, does it do I need to change anything?
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And it's so silly when I speak about that out loud now because I'm so comfy in my own skin, I'm so comfy of who I am, but I was always worried that people might judge me and then get the wrong impression of me, and I really, really hated that part of me.
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And then the more I matured, the more I did more events, and I even went back to the same event as a judge.
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I just didn't care, I just had such a good time, and I feel like that when you really do connect with people, when you are just being you, you are human, you're not a robot, you are not a machine, and people connect with the person who you are inside, and you can be really good at your job, but you can also be someone who loves a good dance and has fun, and like some so many people don't see the side of me where I sing my heart out, and I don't know the so I don't know the words to songs at all.
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Like my sister will barely laugh and be like, Caris, it doesn't even say that in the song, and I will be making my own words up.
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Like, I feel like it's okay to show who you are, and I think more as the industry is changing, the more I think people are really showing the real them, and I'm actually so grateful for that.
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I don't think we're ever not being fully ourselves, like our true selves, but I feel like sometimes we hold ourselves back because we feel judged, and actually, I think we should just allow ourselves to be unapologetically unapologetically blah blah allow ourselves to be unapologetically ourselves.
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We're unique, we're all special, and we should show the world what we are.
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And it even comes down to feeling judged by the posts you are posting, because you can get so consumed on social media, you have probably spent an hour, two hours creating this post, and then you're about to press send, and you go, I don't think I can press send because what if Sarah down the road thinks this, or what if that artist over there thinks this?
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What if this brand thinks this of me?
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You get so consumed that then you won't press post, and then it just sits in your drafts.
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And that video or that post in your draft is probably the best performing one, but you're not pressing send because you're so worried about what other things what other people will think of you.
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I remember doing this reel of me in a duvet, and I was on the top of the stairs, and I basically rolled down the stairs, it's on my Instagram.
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If I find it, I'll put it on screen if you're watching on YouTube.
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And I was coming down the stairs like that, and the caption or the the text over screen was when you're a dog mum, lash artist, accountant, like you know, when life is just so much and you just want to be like ah and everything's on top of you, and you just I just was falling down the stairs, and in that moment, that reel really aligned with how I was feeling.
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Created the reel, went to press send, and I couldn't do it because I was like, Oh my god, this is so out of my comfort zone.
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Oh my god, it's like a funny reel that I never do anything like that because it's not really me.
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You know the ones you see online and you think you laugh at, but you probably wouldn't recreate because it just doesn't align with who you are.
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But I made this real because it did align with me.
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But when I went to press send, I didn't do it.
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I actually didn't press send for at least like a few weeks later once I got over myself.
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But I remember sending it to my mentor and saying, like, I've made this real, but now I'm overthinking it, and I'm worried that people are gonna think like I'm weird and or people are gonna think this just massively overthinking it.
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And she actually went to me, Caris.
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If something aligns with you and it feels right in the moment, post it.
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It aligns with you, it is you like it reflects how you are feeling, so it's a post that is connected, so just post it, and it's so true, you know what I mean.
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How I can imagine so many of you listening or watching thinking, oh my god, I've done that so many times because I'm so worried about what other people would think.
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I've said it before in other episodes, you are just a passing moment in someone's day.
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Someone will have a giggle at your post, or they might find your post interesting, or they might go, Oh, or something like that, you know, and then they move on.
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Five minutes later, they're not thinking about your post.
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You're thinking about your post and worrying what everyone else thinks, but people are too busy worrying about themselves and and them.
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So don't worry, post whatever you want to post.
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If it aligns with you and your business, do it.
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That's what I've learned throughout my experience.
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I think we've all been there with lash lift sachets.
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You've used some of the product, resealed it, and then you come to use it again.
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You're thinking, is this actually still fresh enough?
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And then you've got a client laying there, and there's that little bit of anxiety in the back of your mind, wondering, is this actually going to lift?
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That's something I really love about the Lash Oasis Korean hybrid lash lift system, because their solutions come in single-use sachets.
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You open a fresh step one and step two for every client.
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Use what you need for that treatment, and then you are done.
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There is no resealing and saving it for another client and no wondering how long it's been open for.
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For me, it just takes away that worry.
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Every time I do a treatment, I know I'm opening a fresh solutions for that client and I know exactly what I'm working with.
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It's such a simple thing, but when you're doing lash lifts regularly, it makes such a difference.
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If you want to try the Lash Oasis Korean hybrid lash lift system, you can get 10% off your first order by using the code BEOND10.
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All you need to do is visit lashoasis.co.uk.
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I'll leave the link in the episode description so you can easily find it.
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Now, let's get back to the episode.
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Something that I do before I post anything is I ask myself a few questions.
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I ask myself, does it make you feel something when you're doing a post?
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How does it make you feel?
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Because how it's making you feel, you want some you want that to reflect onto someone else who is seeing your posts.
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Does it have heart and value behind it?
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So does it feel like something that resonates with you?
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Does it have value?
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Because it's so much better to post like three or four bits of content a week that has value and heart and meaning behind it, than post every single day and there's not any intention or value behind it.
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So always ask yourself that question.
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And the last question I asked: does it align with how you are feeling?
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So if it is a funny reel, like I said, the one of me going down the stairs, did it align with me at the time?
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Yes, it did.
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I was like a headless chicken in my business thinking, oh my god, I'm wearing too many hats.
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So if it aligns with you, post it.
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If you're feeling like you've made it just because it's a trend and it doesn't really resonate with you or align with what you're doing, then don't.
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These three questions I ask, and if it's yes to all of them, or I note down that actually that is how that's the value, that's how I want it to make people feel, that's how it makes me feel.
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I would just press send because you just don't want to be overthinking it all the time, and that's easier said than done.
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The more you do something, the less you're gonna overthink.
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And when something is out of your comfort zone, it can be scary to post it, but you'll notice that it's never really that bad.
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It never is that bad.
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It's always more catastrophized and scary in your mind than it is when you actually do it.
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You will never know how many people will resonate with that reel.
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And I think when you are posting on social media and you're overthinking it, just think of all your posts as being an experiment.
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Stop overthinking the views, the likes, the engagement.
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Stop overthinking what people may think of us.
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If it relates to you, if it feels connected to who you are and your feelings and your values and your heart, post it.
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And if someone doesn't like the post, like I said, they're gonna forget about it within five minutes, you know.
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We should just treat everything as experiments, see what works, see what doesn't.
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And I also think that with formats on social media, like the format of content, my most performing content has been when I am really open and honest about a treatment or a client that I've had a tricky time with.
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Like recently, there's been a video on my Instagram of me doing my mum's lashes.
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Anyone who's listening, why are your mums like the hardest people to lash?
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Like, honestly, that the hardest client.
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I want to have a tantrum majority of the time when I do my mum's lashes.
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But I did a video of me talking about how stubborn and thick her lashes is.
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I do her, I give her a lash lift, and that video went absolutely viral.
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Why?
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Because it had value.
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I wasn't telling someone how to do it or what they're doing wrong.
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I spoke honestly about this happens to me every time with my mum.
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They're super tricky, she's got super stubborn eyelashes.
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I then went into talking about how they bounce off, how step one in lash lift can take sometimes nearly 30 minutes.
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And you know what?
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It relates so much to people because they're like, oh my god, I've got clients like this, my mum's lashes like this.
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And I was a little bit like, oh, I'm gonna be posting that step one takes well over the recommended time.
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I wasn't worried because that's my experience with my mum's lashes.
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I'm being honest, and the simple, most honest, relatable, and connected posts are what are what works is what people connect with, and is what people are gonna connect with you.
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We are coming towards the end of this episode, but I wanted to leave you with something to maybe think about because I have been in the industry for over 12 years, and often I sit there and I look back at where I was as a beginner and how the industry was shaped, and this really ties into being unique, being you, being apologetically yourself, you are unique.
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Because when we are first starting out, we're always told how to be, and I do think in an industry and in a client space, of course, you need to be professional, but it's like I had Charlotte Folcherein, who is a now artist and educator, and she spoke very openly and honestly about how she was shrinking herself to fit in, like she's very colourful, she loves dyeing her hair different colours, she loves wearing colourful clothes, like she didn't want to wear like all black, and I was so inspired by our conversation because I will openly admit I think I was guilty of falling into that trap of like wearing black to work, but always looking super professional.
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Like, I do think you should look presentable, but I think where something really isn't aligning with you, that could be your clothes, it could be your hair colour, you might be sitting here listening and thinking like you're feeling trapped in yourself because of how society wants you to be.
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She started wearing what she wanted to wear, she started making her salon quirky, fun, bright, neon, like such an experience for her clients, but also it really reflects who she is as a person, and I think when you connect with who you are first, when you really learn who you are, and you're like, I am who I am, I like what I like.
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Love me or hate me, this is me.
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You just blossom, you just ooze this energy of where people will want to be with you, around you, and be really comfortable in your space, like you will attract your tribe, and I just think that's so important, and maybe that is something to sit and think about because we can all often get stuck in that trap of feeling like we have to be a certain way, and I am someone who used who used to be like that, like I'm in the process at the minute of I wear black to work, right?
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And I recently had my colours done.
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I'm a spring, so if anyone who doesn't know what having the colours done, it's basically colour theory with clothes, and I am bright colours, spring colours, um pinks, blues, greens, you know, all of the bright colours.
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And when the colourist did my colours, she went to me, I knew you'd be that.
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She was just like, your whole energy and you are is bright.
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And I also went somewhere else not that long ago, and she said to me, You need to not wear black.
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I went to this place where they do like this allergy test, and it's a bit woo-woo, so I won't go into too much detail, but it was super interesting.
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But the one thing she said to me, you need to stop wearing black because you're um absorbing people's energies, and I was just like, That's another person that tells me not to wear black.
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So I'm ditching the black and getting brighter uniform, and I still want to be professional because that is still who I am as a person.
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I like to feel like I'm in a uniform.
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I'm someone who goes to work and wants to feel like I'm at work.
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I can't go in like a tracksuit or something cozy because I will literally feel like I'm wanting to go to bed, so I need to have something that makes me feel like I'm ready for the job, you know what I mean?
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Um, so yeah, I think have a think about where you are right now and ask yourself and be truthfully honest with yourself.
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Like, are you really being you?
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Are you really sharing your experience?
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Are you really sharing what you know, or are you taking what other people say and echoing whatever educator is saying?
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Maybe this week you can post something from your own experience that is different and see what the response is because I'm sure it'd be great because there's so many other people out there that is maybe too scared to say that they do the same thing or they do that.
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But yeah.
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I really hope you enjoyed today's episode.
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If you did enjoy it, please DM me or leave a comment in the comment section.
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Also, if you haven't done so already, remember to click that follow, like or subscribe, or whatever button is in front of you so you never miss an episode.
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I really hope you enjoyed today's episode and I will see you next week.
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That's a love.