Flipping the Script: Through the Eyes of the Cuck

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We have two sexual dynamics ands
and minds, and we and we're
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totally connected together to
create 1.
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And so you can't say there's an
unfairness on one side or the
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other when we each are getting
something from this.
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This is something that gives you
so much more than, to be honest,
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than an orgasm.
I mean, it's, it's basically
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edging me to, you know, a thrill
in some point.
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Well, obviously the person that
asked the question doesn't
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really understand which is
helping.
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Yeah.
Hey everybody, I just wanted to
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give you a quick notice.
I am starting to offer a
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one-on-one coaching session.
It's called Ask Crystal, it is
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coaching for individuals and
couples as they explore ethical
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non monogamy.
Whatever your dynamic is, I've
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been living in this dynamic for
10 years and I've learned a ton.
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And I hope to share some of that
wisdom with you in the hopes
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that it will help you.
So you'll get the details in the
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show notes and I hope to see you
there.
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Hello everyone, this is Crystal
Welch here and I am super
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excited.
We have a special episode today.
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I'm being joined by my cuck
husband Bitchard, as well as my
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Co podcaster Anne and her
husband James.
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So we we've talked about a lot
of different topics over the
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last few months and very often
we said, wow, I want it'd be
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great to hear their own
viewpoint on that particular
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thing.
So we can't remember all those
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things, but we're going to do
our best to try.
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And we don't know what we say.
We have to listen to our own
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podcast again.
But anyway, I'm going to
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introduce them and then we're
we're going to try and get some
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cock perspective.
Anna and I have our ideas about
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what we think they experience
and what they think.
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But today is the day they can
spill the tea on their own.
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So welcome Bitchard.
Say hello.
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Hello everyone.
Oh, and it's Bitchard's birthday
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too.
And Anne, why don't you go ahead
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and introduce your lovely
husband?
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Well hello everyone Crystal,
it's so great to be back.
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This is James, my cuckold,
filled with a small J.
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So James with a dot, as we like
to say, but he's happy to be
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here too.
Yes, this.
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This should be fun A.
Couple of things we're going to
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tackle today is, is this fair?
Is being a cuckold fair?
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What do they actually get out of
it?
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Along those lines, we're going
to be talking, we'll do it in
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sort of a past, present, future
format.
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So I'm going to start off with,
I'd like you guys to answer, how
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did you get started?
When did you know you were a
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cuck and how did you know that
and how did you start?
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Richard, go ahead.
Oh hey, so in AI got to really
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wrap wrap the clock back in a
previous marriage, my ex-wife
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cheated on me and I was I was
gone on a trip and I got back
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and she acted weird and this
went for about two weeks and
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then I'm like, look, what the
hell is going on with you?
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You know, why haven't you been
talking to me or interacting or
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anything?
And then she just starts crying,
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you know, and, and she said, I'm
sorry, we'd only been married
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like two months.
And she said, I'm so sorry, but
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I cheated on you and, and I was
like, what the what the hell,
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man?
You know, we've only been
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married a couple months.
And.
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And then so at the same time I'm
kind of feeling angry.
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I, I feel a tug coming from
below my belt, like, what the
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hell, What are you doing down
there?
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You know, and next thing I know
is we're on the kitchen floor
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banging like teenagers and I go,
wow, I don't know what just
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happened, but that was kind of
fun, you know?
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And so that's was my first, my
first cuckolding experience, I
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guess.
And her and I had we lived in
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the Bay Area and had a pretty
active life.
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As a matter of fact, I'm going
to drop this on you guys.
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Just a few weeks ago, Crystal
was talking about Anne and James
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and, and I don't know why I'd
never paid that much attention.
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James, you can probably relate,
but all of a sudden I'm like
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Anne and James, Anne and James.
I remember an Anne and James
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from fmsb.org and and then all
the sudden I went back and
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looked and sure enough it was
you guys.
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And I'm saying I wrote about you
on that website for like 10.
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Years.
Oh man.
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That's do you, do you remember
what I'm talking about?
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What do you?
What was it?
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What was it again?
The website.
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FM FM SB It was fuck my slut
bride but they just used the the
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letters fmsb.org.
I.
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Don't remember that.
Was that part like a Yahoo?
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I don't remember that.
Maybe.
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No, no, no.
It's it's what was it That was
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its domain and then they changed
it to something about married
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something here recently.
Oh, isn't.
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That where your blog is, it's.
Like Cuckold.
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Marriage.
Yeah.
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It's probably cuckold.
Marriage.
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Yeah.
Cuckold marriage, Yeah, right.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
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He yeah, he changed it.
Yeah, that's right.
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Yeah, yeah, that goes.
Back about 10 years, 10 years
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ago, we changed it I think.
But anyway, so.
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That's in the small world right
there.
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Yeah, so that's how I, I'm like,
oh, I know them.
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Hell, I've been reading about
them forever, you know I.
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Thought maybe you were going to
go back to the Yahoo groups when
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we.
Yeah, we were on Yahoo Groups
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too.
That was, yeah, we that was
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another part of our introduction
into the lifestyle was there was
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a really active gangbang group
down in the Bay Area called The
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Crew and they did interracial
gangbangs.
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And they, that's how we first
got involved with them was
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through like the Yahoo.
What did they call those groups,
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The Yahoo group?
That was true.
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And so we started going to the
interracial gangbangs and met a
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bunch of people in the
lifestyle.
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And that was sort of my start in
this whole thing.
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So that's that's sort of the
roots of my beginnings.
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Yeah, I, my story is a little
bit different.
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There was no one specific event
like you were describing.
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I think people probably know or
if they don't know, we've been,
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we've had an open marriage for
our the entire length of our
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marriage, which I'll be upfront
has been 37 years.
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And so we've had a journey that
has brought us and, and taken us
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through different situations in
that.
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So my perspective of, of
cuckold, becoming a cuckold was
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really an evolution over time,
going through different
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situations and whatnot.
And it was not a situation where
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I saw something online because
online didn't really exist a lot
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back then.
But but it was a, you know, it
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was a situation when we were
just evolving, experiencing
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different things, understanding
each other's sexual dynamic
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because it was becoming apparent
that there was two dynamics
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involved as one and the, you
know, and finally someone asked
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us if we are a cuckold.
We had no idea what exactly what
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the word meant or.
And so we looked it up and we
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realized that, yeah, we've been
doing this for years now.
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Interestingly, the one one thing
that does stand out in the kind
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of the cuckolding, we have gone
back and kind of revisited some
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some of those experiences that
led us up.
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And it appears probably
unbeknownst to us at that time
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that my first cuckold experience
really did not involve Anne with
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another man.
It involved Anne with another
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woman and that's when the
emotions really became apparent
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that you start feeling this
angst and and but at the same
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time you have a certain thrill
that's, you know, you kind of a
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coming up too.
And so she went through a two
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year relationship with another
woman that was very serious.
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It was a beautiful relationship
and because the other one was a
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lesbian, there was no sex to be.
But it was me standing there and
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seeing them, you know, in this
sexual and romantic
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relationship.
But that eventually ended and we
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continued it on our journey.
And so it's you kind of have to
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revisit some of the past to
understand certain things that
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maybe were a trigger.
That's probably the biggest
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trigger.
But I, I've always enjoyed in
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all those experiences seeing and
with other men and having been
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in the swing lifestyle portion
and with other women, it got to
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the point where I would be with
another woman and but then after
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a while I'd be going, where's
Anne?
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What she's doing?
What is she doing?
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You know, and so there's this
strong connection that we have.
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And so that kind of, you know,
continued on and, and, you know,
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established this instead of
couples, established a singular
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thing that Anne could have, and
that was men.
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And along the path, you know,
she was introduced to black men
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and then it really took off.
We've been strong proponents,
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you know, vocally and through
the writings in the for the last
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nine years.
And so it's been interesting.
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You know, at that time, we
didn't, we thought we were alone
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when we realized we were a
couple couple.
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But since then, the community
has exploded and that has, you
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know, created this comfort level
of who we are and what we do.
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Yeah.
So James, our trajectories
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weren't that far apart, even
though we we first, you know,
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fell on the floor and I and I
had this great, you know, life
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changing experience.
Our trajectory actually followed
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you guys that we, we played a
part, we played together.
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We were very, we were very
involved in the just regular
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swinging lifestyle and went to a
lot of swinging parties.
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But I learned more about myself
and, and had a very similar
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experience to yours that we
would go to a swinging party and
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my pleasure was watching my
wife, you know, and these other
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girls would be annoying me like,
hey, you want to go play?
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And I'm like, leave me alone.
Yeah, there.
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There's some truth there.
Yeah, so I but, but just like
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you, I had never heard of a
cuckold back then and I really
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didn't know how to label, you
know, what it was that I liked.
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And now that I know how to label
it, I'm fighting the label as
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hard as I can.
And so meaning that the label is
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so indistinctive anymore that we
don't know what it means.
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So.
Yeah, it's a, it's a big
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umbrella of different things
that can be so, yeah.
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So yeah, we, you know, it's,
it's great that we have a
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community now.
Yeah.
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And that's a great thing.
But it but I I think that's
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really interesting that both you
and I kind of wandered through
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swinger land on our way here
You.
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Know.
Yes, and wander is a good word,
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yeah.
Kind of came to the same
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conclusion about it too.
That's probably not that
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unusual.
I I would think that I think
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there's a lot of couples that
have evolved from swinging into
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cooking and you know, everybody
starts somewhere.
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So I appreciate you guys sharing
that that beginning story
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because I think a lot of people
will be able to relate to that.
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But let's get to the really big
one.
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What the heck do you get out of
it?
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What do you, if you can tell us
in your own words?
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What is it about this dynamic
that just floats your boat?
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Boy, that's a, you know, that's
a question that I think really
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comes back to the, the, the
relationship that Anne and I
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have the strength that that we
have the the ability to, you
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know, communicates very well.
And so I think it's a situation
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where because of how we evolved
in our sexual dynamic over a
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long period of time, you kind of
generate a lot of different
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things about your own sexual
identity.
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And my identity revolves around
the aspect of not because as
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with other men, the denial and
denial can be a big umbrella for
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a lot of different ways to
achieve it.
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But from denial, I get a a
masochistic type of emotions set
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of emotions dealing between
angst of if you're going to go
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over the Cliff or the joy of
this is just so awesome and you
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know you want it to continue on.
And at this point, a lot of that
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angst has because I'm so
comfortable with it.
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The angst is not as big of an
issue as just the pure joy that
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I get to see Anne enjoy.
This past weekend we went to
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Splash.
She had a fantastic time.
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I had a fantastic time.
I wasn't always in the room.
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That's that's kind of how I do
things.
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It increases that denial aspect.
And So what do I get from it?
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I get the fact that we are so
goddamn close that you know,
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there can't be any other thing
but that, you know that that
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00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:29,120
strong emotion that's, you know,
the her afterglow and Sharon in
230
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,680
it.
And so, you know, that's, I'm
231
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:36,960
not sure that is a very precise
answer, but it, it is a
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00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:41,080
difficult question to answer
because I think each person is,
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00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,200
is different in their, their
relationship.
234
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:48,480
And but I think the commonality
is always that there's this,
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00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:53,480
this incredible bond between the
two people and their ability to
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00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,600
communicate, their ability to
trust their, you know, their
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00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,920
ability to share, their ability
to champion each other.
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00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,880
Thank you for that.
That was beautiful.
239
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,320
Actually, I think that's one
thing that a lot of people don't
240
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,960
believe too.
They don't believe that this
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00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:16,760
type of consensual non monogamy
agreement can bring that kind of
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00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,040
closeness.
It seems counterintuitive to
243
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,080
people that don't know, so thank
you for that explanation.
244
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,320
Right.
Richard, what is it for you?
245
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:29,240
Right.
Well, I think, you know, it's
246
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,480
gone through a lot of phases in
my life and I've moved, you
247
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:37,080
know, from like a a lot of men
in particular are first drawn to
248
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:42,520
the real pruient, you know, side
of it and the sexuality and, and
249
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:47,240
I certainly have always enjoyed
seeing very sexual women.
250
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,840
You know, it's, it's always been
something that really appeals to
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me.
But I, I also don't think that
252
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,800
you can really have a long term
successful cuckolding
253
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,560
relationship just based on
prurience.
254
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:04,000
You know, I think there's a
spiritual aspect to it that I
255
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:09,240
think particularly I hear it
coming from a lot of Cox and and
256
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:13,600
I think James, without putting
words in your mouth, I hear when
257
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:18,000
you know, I've got a Catholic
background in and was an ex
258
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,880
seminarian and these these
thoughts that I hear coming from
259
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:26,720
you, I think all could be
reframed very religiously and
260
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,080
and put inside and and please
don't blame me for being a
261
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,280
Catholic.
I'm reformed.
262
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,840
I'm out of that, but I hear
these thoughts.
263
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,040
That's all right.
So.
264
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,920
He's married.
There's one in the family too.
265
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:37,240
He's.
Married.
266
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:41,440
He's married.
God help us all.
267
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:46,240
But I hear these I hear these
things about like self
268
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,040
masochism.
And this is Janus.
269
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,880
Do you know this comes from a
rich Catholic tradition of of
270
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,920
self denial.
And you know, you can't, you
271
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:59,640
can't understand Catholicism
without understanding fasting
272
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:05,200
and without understanding not,
not giving in to the things that
273
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,319
you want to do.
It's considered weakness.
274
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:12,760
And in fact, I think this is
something that that Crystal and
275
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,119
I have agreed on many times is
that it takes a certain strength
276
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:22,200
to be a, to be a cuckold.
And, and we and yeah, and we,
277
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,280
and we find that through our
sacrifice.
278
00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:30,760
And and this, this is very much,
very much Sacramento insight of
279
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:34,800
Catholicism.
And then moving on to the other
280
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:38,600
thing you talked about, which
was so great is how it combined
281
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,960
you as a couple.
You know, that that you have to
282
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,480
be able to communicate on such a
deep level and be able to share
283
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:52,160
thoughts so intimately that it
just transcends you out of a lot
284
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,880
of couples that, you know, they
can't, they can't even
285
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,480
communicate enough to decide
who's going to do the dishes.
286
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,040
And we're talking about who's
going to do my wife, you know?
287
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,680
All right.
And.
288
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,000
Yeah, the dish, the dishes is
easy like the.
289
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,200
Yeah, I got that.
Yeah, but how much harder is the
290
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,800
conversation?
When we first started, we, we
291
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,200
were like, OK, you can go fuck
guys, but I don't want you to
292
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:23,800
like them.
And then that, that and this
293
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,200
happiness that I get now that,
oh, here's a guy that she really
294
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,280
likes.
And look at how, look at how
295
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,800
they make music together, you
know, and I get happiness from
296
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:37,320
her happiness.
And surely I, I think any good,
297
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,760
you know, Christian person
would, would also consider that
298
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,240
a value, you know, the fact that
you can gain happiness through
299
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,560
other people's happiness, which
is actually the opposite of
300
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:55,920
envy, you know, and, and, and in
my very uninformed view, the
301
00:18:55,920 --> 00:19:00,080
whole idea of, of coveting is,
you know, this is the opposite
302
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,040
of coveting.
This is allowing sharing and,
303
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,480
and in a way, the ultimate in
empathy.
304
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:11,280
And so that's sort of so that's
what attracts it me to it today,
305
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,720
although I certainly didn't.
Start it.
306
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,400
That's a very interesting
perspective.
307
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,880
I never related to a religious
aspect of it.
308
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,880
That's so I find that very
interesting.
309
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:26,200
There are some elements of what
you describe that probably are,
310
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,840
are true.
I, I, I am not a religious
311
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:35,360
person per SE, except of faith.
And so I don't, you know, try to
312
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:39,160
define my life in that respect.
But there are some things of
313
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,000
faith that tell me, you know,
this is, you know, there's a
314
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:47,240
certain part of what, who we are
and how we will be that we have
315
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:52,360
no control over.
And, you know, so I, I, it, it
316
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:57,400
is interesting.
I, I, I, one of our first things
317
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,160
that we decided early on when we
got into this whole thing, I
318
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:04,480
mean, going back years is we
never had rules, we never had
319
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,720
boundaries.
We were always we as we matched
320
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,880
very well in the sense as as
people, we always.
321
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,640
Are open to trying things and
doing things.
322
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:21,600
I am the type of person being
half German, I can be a little
323
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:25,240
more disciplined in that.
And you know, I'm very
324
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,600
passionate about when we first
met about sex.
325
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,400
And I've communicated that to
Anne right away and she didn't
326
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,320
have a problem with it.
As things continued, I might
327
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,320
come up with an idea and throw
it out there and it's and she's
328
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,640
being the social butter.
She says, yeah, let's do it.
329
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,840
And so we would do it.
And so we've experienced a lot
330
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,840
of things without the rules and
boundaries that allowed us to
331
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,720
get to where we are right now.
But more importantly, allow us
332
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:56,080
as a couple to come together and
be strong and be for each other.
333
00:20:56,560 --> 00:21:01,840
And not everyone can do that.
Not not everyone is comfortable
334
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:08,600
without rules and boundaries.
And so that, you know, is kind
335
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,960
of an aspect that makes us a
little bit different.
336
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,160
I'm, I'm sure there are others
out there, but I always hear
337
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,400
people when they talk about it,
you know, the rules and
338
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,080
boundaries.
You made a comment about the,
339
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,640
you know, you can't have
emotions.
340
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,360
I was never about you can't have
emotions.
341
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,880
Actually, those emotions kind of
give me that, that angst.
342
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,920
That's what I want to see.
Because that's her.
343
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:35,880
That's what she's about.
And that, you know, thrills me.
344
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,000
It gives me angst when there's a
real cat connection.
345
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,600
But because we can communicate
and we trust, we figure it out,
346
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:46,440
We have some hard conversations
at times, works out great.
347
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,960
But you know, it's I don't want
to in any way impede what she's
348
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:54,040
about.
And and so probably that answers
349
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,800
the question is what do I get
out of this?
350
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,240
I get out of this by letting her
be her.
351
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:04,000
And that just thrills me.
Crystal, didn't we touch touched
352
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,680
on spirituality in our last
episode, Yeah.
353
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,360
But I think it's kind of it's
such a big topic.
354
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:14,600
I think it it deserves an entire
episode because it's deep and
355
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,080
profound.
But let we let's definitely
356
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,560
touch on it.
But I just don't think there'll
357
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,040
be a time in this one, but we'll
schedule again.
358
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:29,120
But that that's a big topic and
they just opened that, you know,
359
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,320
both of them just sort of opened
up that topic.
360
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,400
So let's let's definitely go for
it.
361
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,840
To me, that's what gives
cuckoldine its legs.
362
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,880
I mean, there's lots of people
out there that, you know, can
363
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,720
just kind of get off on the, you
know, the sex side of it.
364
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,360
But I just don't think that has
legs, you know, I, I think, you
365
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,880
know, you can only do that once
in a while and then it's off
366
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,080
chasing another shiny object,
you know?
367
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:55,960
Well, I think it the fact that
we can speak to a spiritual
368
00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,160
aspect at all, you know, that
sort of separates out the the
369
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,680
looky loos or the the people
just looking for an experience
370
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,480
from the people that have taken
this seriously and taken it as a
371
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:14,600
lifestyle and allowed it to to
deepen their intimacy in their
372
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,440
primary relationship.
You know, it's entirely valid,
373
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:21,640
but I think that spiritual
aspect is what separates the men
374
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,440
from the boys or however you say
that.
375
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,920
I think it's, I think it's, I
think it's a big deal.
376
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,880
Yeah, I think there's some truth
there.
377
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:35,720
I mean, this is such a deeply
emotional type of sexual
378
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:40,240
relationship that I think people
kind of overlook and from both
379
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:45,000
sides.
And I think that a lot of people
380
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,880
just probably are not interested
in that.
381
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,760
They're, you know, they're more
towards the.
382
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:52,280
The how do I get my wife to fuck
other men?
383
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:57,400
And you're answering with, well,
you know, Thomas Aquinas said.
384
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:07,000
Go to church.
I mean, Oh my goodness.
385
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,640
Well, I have a question.
Do you ever feel like this is
386
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,360
unfair?
Let me take that on 1st this
387
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:19,080
time.
What a stupid question of.
388
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:20,960
Course it's.
Unfair.
389
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:29,640
Does anybody go to a pro Dom and
say OK, this is a democracy now
390
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:37,600
you know?
And obviously, no disrespect you
391
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,280
intended, Anne, I know the
question was fed into us, but
392
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,120
when I first heard that
question, I thought, this is the
393
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,680
most ridiculous, stupidest
question I've ever heard in my
394
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:49,880
life, you know?
So yes, the answer to your
395
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:55,560
question is yes, Anne.
It is unfair at its best.
396
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:01,560
And just like, no, I, it's, it's
well, my perspective is it's not
397
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,560
unfair because I don't even
think about, you know, fairness
398
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,360
in, in this.
It's it's, you know, it's a
399
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:10,320
situation that you have, as I
mentioned before, you have two
400
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:14,200
sexual dynamics ands and minds.
And we and we're totally
401
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:19,720
connected together to create 1.
And so you can't say there's an
402
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,640
unfairness on one side or the
other when we each are getting
403
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:26,120
something from this.
It's not about what she does.
404
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:30,480
I have to also do it's about
what she does that gives me what
405
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,880
I can do.
And so, you know, I find it, you
406
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:39,080
know, you know, people asking
that question is like much like
407
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,480
you said, Richard, it's just
like, are you kidding me?
408
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,880
I mean, where are you?
I mean, you just want to wank
409
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,920
off here, you know, and and be
done.
410
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:51,040
I mean, no, this is this is, you
know, this is something that you
411
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:57,480
take it and it gives you so much
more than to be honest than an
412
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,760
orgasm.
I mean, it's, it's basically
413
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:03,160
edging me to, you know, a thrill
in some point.
414
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,800
Well, obviously the person that
asked the question doesn't
415
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,640
really understand which is
helping him.
416
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,120
Right, right.
And that, and so you, I guess
417
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:13,440
you could devolve it into a
conversation about what is
418
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,600
fairness.
You know, I mean, if we're all
419
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,560
getting what we want, is that
fair even even though there's a
420
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:24,480
automatically a power imbalance,
you know, of necessity.
421
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:28,840
And so is it, is it unfair for
the Colonel to tell the private
422
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,880
to go, you know, charge down
the, you know, charge, go charge
423
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,480
the machine nest or something?
You know, it's, it's not even
424
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,800
really, I don't, you know, I, I
think it's, it's a foreign
425
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,560
language to start describing it
in terms of fairness.
426
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,720
I thought these these are a lot
of the questions that come from
427
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:51,280
my listeners typically are
people who are curious and
428
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,280
they're looking for an on ramp.
So they don't have the
429
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,440
experience.
They, they find it hard to
430
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,520
comprehend that you actually get
something out of it.
431
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:03,200
They don't understand the, the,
you know, the notion of a
432
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,280
conversion where you actually
get happiness from someone
433
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,520
else's happiness.
You know, so it's, it's really
434
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,320
the, the, the question is
designed for those people
435
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:18,120
looking for is this right for me
is, you know, can I understand
436
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:21,560
this at a deeper level so that,
you know, I would have some
437
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:25,920
basis to, to try and see if, and
see if it would be a fit for me
438
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,200
and my partner.
The only way you're going to
439
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,160
know is you're going to have to
go out there and you're going to
440
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,360
have to experience sex in a
sexual situation with your
441
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:37,560
partner and understand what that
creates and, and, and
442
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,600
understand, you know, from that
you're going to either, you
443
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,800
know, do this or that.
And whatever you choose to do,
444
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,120
hopefully you've communicated
about it and said, Hey, this is
445
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:50,720
where we want to, we should go.
Whether it's cuckolder or not,
446
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,320
it's not important is in my
mind, it's about just
447
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:58,560
experiencing something and
making from that experience, you
448
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:04,360
know, an evolution of, you know,
this is what you you're both
449
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:08,360
interested in.
And so, you know, I just it's it
450
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:14,400
is it, it is a sexual dynamic.
I mean, that's the bottom line.
451
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,160
And so you have to experience
sex with your partner in a
452
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:22,840
manner that you know, different
ways which might create, you
453
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:27,680
know, your partner being, you
know, monogamous and you're the
454
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,400
other partner, not monogamous
and decide, you know, if that's
455
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,120
it, I mean, you can't, there's
only so much where you can go in
456
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:38,840
terms of thinking about it.
And God almighty cuckolds really
457
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,600
think about it.
Yeah, and.
458
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:43,680
And think about it and overthink
about it.
459
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,560
And so, but the reality is, is
you've got to experience it.
460
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:51,360
And so you just have to, you
know, go out there and try to
461
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,520
figure out a way how you can do
it and ease into it.
462
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:59,040
If if my recommendation be to
ease into it and, you know, kind
463
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,280
of make some decisions or you
know, have some revelations
464
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,880
about we know what it brings to
you so.
465
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,280
Thank you.
Thank you guys for answering
466
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,080
that.
It just brought another question
467
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,320
to my mind.
I'm going to ask you guys
468
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,960
because Anne and I have gotten
this question probably 10,000
469
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:19,640
times.
What do you, what do you as men
470
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:23,200
say to the other men who are
trying to get their wives or
471
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,360
manipulate their wives into
doing this for them?
472
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:33,560
How would you advise them?
Oh yeah, the the question that
473
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:37,920
every person that wants to be in
it wants to have an answer, a
474
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,160
clear answer on how to do it a a
blueprint.
475
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:42,920
Who should go first?
Stuart Bishard.
476
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:44,960
Well, I, I, you know, I just
took it.
477
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:51,600
I mean, you know, I, I think to
answer that question, you have
478
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,360
to kind of understand the other
person first that's asking you
479
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:58,120
that and where they are, what,
what is their situation in, you
480
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:02,240
know, so that you can kind of
answer in a, a way that they can
481
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,800
understand for where, where they
are.
482
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,320
That's a kind of a vague answer,
But I'm, I'm the type of person
483
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:14,160
that's sensitive to other people
and trying to understand them
484
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:21,880
when they ask a question like
that, There is no easy way to,
485
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,480
you know, kind of say this is
the right thing to do or the
486
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:31,680
wrong thing to do.
I first of all, my first
487
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,040
question back to them would be
what's your relationship?
488
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:36,520
How strong is it?
Do you have trust?
489
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,640
Can you communicate?
Do you champion each other?
490
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,880
You know, those things have to
be in place.
491
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:46,080
They have to be in place even in
real life outside of a sexual
492
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:49,000
dynamic.
And if there's any weakness in
493
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,760
there, I would say you'd
probably need to, you know,
494
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:55,920
strengthen, strengthen it a
little bit and, you know, go out
495
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,400
there and experience a little
bit of a sexual experience, But
496
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:05,800
without those bedrock, you know,
elements, you're probably going
497
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:09,200
to fail.
And I, you know, I, no one wants
498
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,320
to fail at anything.
I don't want anyone to fail at
499
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,440
anything.
But I want, you know, them to
500
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,560
understand a certain reality of
expectation.
501
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:22,840
If you don't take the time to,
you know, kind of work on your
502
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,480
relationship and a lot of other
ways to to have it strong
503
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:30,640
because you will be faced with
some, you know, hard, you know,
504
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,200
emotions at times in a cuckold
dynamic.
505
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,600
And if you don't work on those
things, it will fail.
506
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:43,120
And so, you know, my basic
answer is trying to understand
507
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,840
then where the relationship is,
how strong it is and you know,
508
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:51,160
and emphasize that strength.
And then, you know, probably,
509
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,160
you know, just say, hey, you
know, it sounds like you if it's
510
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,760
there, you just need to now make
a decision if the two of you
511
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,360
want to go out there and have a
sexual experience of some sort
512
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:06,560
to kind of test it.
But you know, it's, it's typical
513
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,800
cuckold.
I overthink it sometimes too.
514
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:14,120
So.
Yeah, I think James, I agree
515
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,000
100% with you.
What I see, you know, like on
516
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,040
the Reddit forums and some of
the other ones is, you know, how
517
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:24,440
do I trick my wife into this or,
or Crystal needs the word
518
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:29,280
manipulate my wife into this.
And when I see those questions,
519
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,720
it instantly in my mind says
you're not ready for this.
520
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,520
You know, your relationship's
not ready for it and you are not
521
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,480
ready for it.
Just by the fact that you are
522
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,840
willing to manipulate your wife
in order to get your sexual
523
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:46,360
jollies right there has answered
the question to me.
524
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:51,400
You know, we, there's there's no
reason to to, to talk about, you
525
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:56,680
know, a. 100%.
You know, no, we saw I had quite
526
00:32:56,680 --> 00:33:00,440
a few examples of that in the
whole swinging thing, like it
527
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:05,120
was such a.
You can tell when it's going to
528
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,480
crash and burn pretty quickly.
Oh yeah, we've all seen it,
529
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:09,760
Yeah.
Absolutely.
530
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,000
You're right, Anne, the swinging
world has the very same thing.
531
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:18,760
Usually husbands that have two
active an imagination dragging
532
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,960
their wives into an experience
that their relationship isn't
533
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,520
ready for, right?
Right.
534
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:28,960
And then more often than not,
it's the husband that has the, I
535
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,760
don't know if it's a guilt
attack or what, but he's the one
536
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,040
that the next morning wakes up
with this sexual hangover and
537
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,360
guilt and shame and Oh my God,
what did this whore do, you
538
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,520
know?
And.
539
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,440
The beast is out of the closet.
Yeah, right.
540
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,680
Yeah, his aunt says.
Be careful what you want.
541
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,480
Be careful what you wish for.
I mean like it's.
542
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:55,120
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
These women get turned loose and
543
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,640
they, you know, they enjoy it
and then all the sudden, you
544
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,160
know, the husband feels.
Anyway, it's just craziness.
545
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,120
If you know if you really want
to have a great cuckled
546
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:08,159
relationship, start with
relationship and then get to
547
00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:09,480
cuckle down the.
Rd.
548
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,880
One of the things we wanted to
cover was how do you balance
549
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:19,440
your, your life?
And I know that we had other
550
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,639
conversation that'll be added
out so we probably have a little
551
00:34:22,639 --> 00:34:25,520
more time.
But how do you, how do you
552
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:32,360
balance being a cuckold?
And you know, from your real
553
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,280
life to your cuckold life, even
though they're very, they're
554
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:39,080
blended.
How do you balance the two?
555
00:34:40,159 --> 00:34:43,840
Yeah, for us, it's very
difficult.
556
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,960
I would, I, I, I, I don't.
Would you agree?
557
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,199
It's probably our most difficult
challenge.
558
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:56,040
Well, from my perspective, the
difficulty factor is that I so
559
00:34:56,040 --> 00:35:01,720
rarely have a lover that we're
not in the arena very much.
560
00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:04,080
I mean that's that is the
difficulty factor.
561
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:11,560
So it's kind of a non issue for
us only because we lack
562
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:15,600
opportunity when there when
there is someone and usually
563
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,760
they're, you know, shorter term.
So it, you know, we really
564
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:24,120
haven't had a long term
connection that we would have to
565
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:30,120
actually, you know, deal with
work, you know, cut life issues
566
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,480
that could come in the future.
But so far we just, you know,
567
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:39,480
we, we just haven't had the
longer term experience to be
568
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:44,240
forced to pick and choose stuff.
So I interpreted the question a
569
00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:48,160
little bit differently and, and
more about how do I move into
570
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,800
submission and more of a femdom
relationship.
571
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:57,120
So not very specifically
cuckolding, but more the femdom,
572
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,480
you know, submissive
role-playing that goes on in a
573
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:04,280
lot of cuckold relationships
and, and ideally in our cuckold
574
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,600
relationship.
And it's I, I just have trouble
575
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,760
shifting gears sometimes, you
know, I, I do tend to be a kind
576
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:16,200
of aggressive alpha dude.
And then it's hard for me to
577
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,120
change that gear.
And it's very difficult for
578
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:26,160
Crystal because, you know,
we're, we're both amped up and,
579
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,760
and then all the sudden to try
to flip this over to, to this
580
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:34,640
power inequality role-playing,
it's, it's just very difficult,
581
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,760
I think for both of us to change
our mindsets on a dime, you
582
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:41,280
know?
Well, I think because of our
583
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,400
dynamic, we don't have this,
these extremes.
584
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:50,080
It's more constant.
There's a lot of subtleties and
585
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:54,840
teasing and things that happen
regardless if I, you know, have
586
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:58,040
a date or not.
And we, you know, like you, I
587
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:02,120
don't, you know, splash, I
made-up for a year, you know,
588
00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:04,400
so.
Or at least too.
589
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,520
Much too much.
Well, it was, it was better than
590
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,760
I thought.
We can maybe talk off air and we
591
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:17,880
can share some funny things, but
I feel like we don't, you know,
592
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,000
do we have it in the forefront
of our mind all the time?
593
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,840
No.
You know, family things are
594
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,640
happening, you know, but it
never goes away.
595
00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:34,320
So I think because we don't have
this extreme power shift, if you
596
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:39,280
will, no or roll shift.
Yeah, there's we, I think to put
597
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,440
it pretty simply, we're, we're a
chill couple.
598
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:46,200
And so I think that we're very
comfortable.
599
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,800
Yes, we have real life.
Today was, you know, an active
600
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,640
day of things.
But here we are now.
601
00:37:54,080 --> 00:38:03,040
And I think the because we're
both chill, we don't seem to be
602
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:10,320
affected by, like Anne said, the
extremes that could happen.
603
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:16,800
I think that we flow very easily
between what we have to do and
604
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:20,840
who we are and a sexual dynamic.
We're I feel very strong as a
605
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:25,200
person, as a cuckold and also
outside the life in life.
606
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:31,040
And, and could, you know, she
could be, you know, getting
607
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:35,320
ready to, you know, either vet
someone in the back seat or, or
608
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,880
getting together with someone.
And I can be easily, you know,
609
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:45,840
still doing what I need to do
relative to things that are not
610
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,520
maybe as connected to what she's
going to do.
611
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:53,440
But when she comes back, it's
there and we connect and you
612
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:56,320
know, she tells me about it and
it's, you know, it's great.
613
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,880
You know, I think that it's, you
know, something that, you know,
614
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:08,520
you're just so comfortable about
it that we don't have to think
615
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:11,480
hard about it, I guess is the
best way to say it.
616
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,480
You know, we just have to we
just it just naturally will, you
617
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:20,880
know, ease into a conversation
at times for us if we just want
618
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,320
to you want to talk about some
things, bring me up to speed of
619
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,240
what you're doing or you know,
the in the your dates or
620
00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:31,320
whatever, or you know, just, you
know, coming out of it, you
621
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,640
know, coming out.
It sounds boring, but.
622
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,000
It's just like or you come out
of Flash.
623
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,560
What I'd like to ask, I would
like to ask you guys if you can
624
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,440
lend us some chill pill because
obviously we were both ramped up
625
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:50,320
to about 900 miles an hour all
the time and it's a problem.
626
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,360
It's a problem.
Yeah.
627
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,240
Going back to the spiritual
aspect of it though, one of the
628
00:39:56,240 --> 00:40:01,160
things that I hope to benefit
from a cuckold relationship is
629
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,320
to chill and to and to learn the
grace of humility.
630
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:07,480
For example, you know, speaking
to a a Catholic, you would
631
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,720
understand that that you know,
there, there is this there.
632
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:14,320
I think that there is a certain
subtle grace in being able to
633
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:18,760
step down and and chill out and
control your emotions.
634
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,960
And you know more than control
your emotions to master your
635
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,520
emotions.
Right, that's a good.
636
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,400
You know, it's, it's, you know,
it's an interesting, you know,
637
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:32,800
situation where, you know, like
splash, it's an event that
638
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:37,680
brings a lot of black men to the
table, so to speak.
639
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,960
And seeing Anne is, you know, in
the candy store, so to speak.
640
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:47,680
That's, that's fantastic.
I, you know, step aside and
641
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:51,800
that's what I'd like to do.
That's how I experience it best,
642
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,920
as much as possible.
Coming back.
643
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:57,880
You, you got you.
You know, we have been gone for
644
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:01,280
a week, not only because of
Splash, but other things.
645
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,600
And you suddenly realize you got
to come back to the real world.
646
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:07,720
Well, you, we don't feel like
we're abandoning anything.
647
00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:10,040
We're just feeling OK, we need
to do this, this and that.
648
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,120
But then, you know, later on we
sit down for dinner or have a
649
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,800
drink and we will start talking
about Splash, you know, and it's
650
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:22,240
just like we ebb and flow based
upon what, you know, how our
651
00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:24,360
days going, how the things that
we have to do.
652
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,640
But we always try to make sure
that that conversation does
653
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:34,200
include our sexual dynamic at
times because there's we don't.
654
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,040
We're just that's who we are.
Yeah, but it's.
655
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:40,320
Yeah, but it's not 24/7.
No, it's not 24/7.
656
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,640
There's no there's no schedule
or regularity.
657
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,640
Right.
Yeah, there's, you know, I just
658
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,800
like I said, Evans.
Yeah, OK.
659
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,000
I want to be Anne and James when
I grow up.
660
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:55,080
Well, I actually think I I at
least I would rate myself as
661
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:58,520
being a pretty good, you know,
in quote marks cock when we're
662
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,480
in the dynamic, when we're in
the moment that, you know,
663
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:06,960
you're with somebody, you know,
it's that's not when we have our
664
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:13,280
trouble.
And I say this, you guys know I
665
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,160
love her absolutely dearly.
You know, the the wheels aren't
666
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,400
coming off of this at all.
And, and I think it's good that
667
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,400
we can actually be honest and
frank about, you know, all.
668
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,520
Every moment isn't special.
Right.
669
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,280
That's for sure.
Yeah, so.
670
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,320
And and so don't don't take this
wrong like the wheels are coming
671
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,280
off the bus because they're not.
And I and I'm just madly in love
672
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,160
with this woman.
But we do sometimes when there's
673
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:43,360
not other people around.
We can get gritty.
674
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,080
Yeah, we can get gritty.
Yeah.
675
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:48,440
And and because both of us wants
to be in charge.
676
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,760
Yeah.
We can just be go ahead.
677
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:56,480
I just haven't beat him enough
to get him to figure this thing
678
00:42:56,480 --> 00:43:00,240
out yet, so I don't know.
What were you going to say,
679
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:04,280
Anne?
Oh, I mean, I we definitely can
680
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:09,960
both be a little bitchy towards
one another and you know, I want
681
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:17,680
more and he, you know, my angst
of not having any lover, you
682
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,960
know, rubs off on him.
You know, it kind of goes full
683
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:20,960
circle.
You know we're.
684
00:43:21,240 --> 00:43:23,800
Yeah, but we're there to
champion for each other, so you
685
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,680
know it's not.
Not always rosy, but most you
686
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:30,320
would try to make.
So I I do remember the question
687
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:35,400
from the the cuckold cocked my
life.
688
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:39,280
They asked us if we are an FLR
and.
689
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,280
You broke up right there.
Say that again.
690
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:50,360
They asked us if we were an FLR
couple and we are not in the
691
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:56,480
true sense of what most people
say is always one person in that
692
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,840
role.
We we are in the sense of our
693
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:05,280
sexual dynamic.
But as a couple in life, we have
694
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,960
strengths in different ways that
it's important that we work as a
695
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:12,680
team.
And so that is something that
696
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:22,120
some people kind of confuse the
FLR as being, you know, pretty
697
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,200
much a dominant thing when it
doesn't really have to.
698
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,320
You can enjoy it.
But you sometimes, you know,
699
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:31,640
like us, there are other things
that I just I'm better AT and
700
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:33,200
there's some things that she's
better AT.
701
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:37,000
And we have a family.
And so these things, you know,
702
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,800
require teamwork.
So what about you guys?
703
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:46,000
Do you have a definition defined
roles crystal?
704
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,600
Are you always the one in
charge?
705
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:55,840
No, I just get aggravated at him
because, you know, we have power
706
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:57,600
struggle.
That's exactly what we have.
707
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,920
You know, we're all we're both
fighting for the top rung or the
708
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,400
last say or something like this.
And you know, I think it's a bad
709
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,440
habit that we've gotten into.
But no, we don't we're not in
710
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:12,000
any any kind of dynamic 24/7.
It's for us, it's not compatible
711
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:15,000
with day-to-day life.
We have also family.
712
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:19,320
We have other things going on
and you know, and when we're
713
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,200
with other people, this never
comes up.
714
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,760
But when we have too much time
with just us.
715
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:27,080
You know.
We'll both be fighting for the
716
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:31,000
last word in the conversation.
And I don't know, but yeah, we,
717
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,160
we don't.
We're not in anything 24/7.
718
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,480
Yeah.
If I can fight you for the last
719
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,480
word here.
Yeah, actually, here we go.
720
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:42,360
See I rest my case.
Actually, what I was going to
721
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,280
say is we're, when we're in a
play dynamic, I think we do
722
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,480
enjoy FLR, you know, I right.
Is that fair?
723
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:52,040
Yeah, yeah.
But, but in day-to-day, no,
724
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,000
there's definitely things that
she's better AT and she usually
725
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,560
does and other things I'm better
at and I usually do.
726
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,400
And then there's a little bit of
overlap in some places, and
727
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,880
those are the.
And then there's a fight, Fight
728
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:07,200
Club.
But but, but when we're in the
729
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:10,240
dynamic, I enjoy FLR.
I think it's really fun.
730
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,640
Yeah, and he goes really deep
too.
731
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:16,400
So that's the that's the time
where he can really, he's really
732
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,760
fun to, he likes verbal
humiliation.
733
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,280
He likes a little impact.
I mean, I really can just sort
734
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:26,280
of let it fly and hopefully get
all my angst out there so that
735
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,840
it doesn't come out when we're
just like having dinner or
736
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:33,320
something like that.
Right, ruining at a nice
737
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,720
restaurant.
Yeah, it's not like we're having
738
00:46:35,720 --> 00:46:38,560
dinner, but actually one of the
things that we've enjoyed doing
739
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:42,000
a couple of times when it, when
we have guests over is, you
740
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,240
know, I, I just go into this
total service role where I'm
741
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:50,760
cook and Butler and serve them
dinner and, you know, and, and
742
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:54,280
so, yeah, it's and, you know,
it's pure service.
743
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,880
I mean, it's, you know, and I
and I get a kick out of it.
744
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,600
Yeah, and it's and it's super
fun.
745
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,400
So we don't have any trouble at
all in the dynamic.
746
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:05,840
It's just we can get into power
struggle outside of that.
747
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:12,720
I, I love that when you, we, we
haven't had too many.
748
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,000
I've had, I've entertained him
in here, but very few have
749
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,840
actually like one in particular
had a meal here and it was
750
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:24,880
pretty much on the fly.
But James served us and you
751
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,840
know, he served us drinks and
you know, he's been very, very
752
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:32,040
good about that.
But I love that because I'm
753
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:35,280
usually the one who does all
that in normal day-to-day.
754
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:36,720
Except.
For the clean up.
755
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:42,400
Yeah, I'd like to say we share,
but I don't know, maybe Crystal
756
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,080
would disagree.
But but it's fun.
757
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,480
I mean, if you guys ever get the
house alone to where you feel
758
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,480
safe and you can do something.
And I certainly think it's a lot
759
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:55,040
of fun to just, you know, bring
in, make a really nice dinner
760
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:59,400
and serve it several courses and
pour the wine and, you know, all
761
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:01,680
the all.
The stuff you know, Yeah.
762
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:04,720
And that's why, you know, and I,
I definitely have a distinct
763
00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:08,560
preference for people that I
have a good relationship with
764
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:12,600
that can spend a weekend, not
just a hit and run.
765
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,960
That's not really my style.
And I don't do that really very
766
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:19,040
much.
But you know, people that I have
767
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:22,160
a a friendship with and a
relationship, we like to have
768
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:24,880
them in for the weekend so we
can really just indulge in the
769
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:30,840
whole thing, both of us.
That's interesting because we
770
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:36,480
gravitate towards the hotel.
I mean, you can, you can make a
771
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:40,120
comment to this, but the fact
that, you know, that we're so
772
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:41,640
but we both work out of the
house.
773
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:43,840
We're here together most of the
time.
774
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:46,480
And so there's just like we want
to get out of here.
775
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:51,320
And so Anne has, you know,
expressed a lot of times and and
776
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,640
she's had, you know, she with
Anthony.
777
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,760
You've, you know, known for
years he would come over.
778
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,640
But at some point it's just
like, it would be great if we
779
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,840
can experience a different
vocation.
780
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,360
Yeah.
But but I but on yeah, I think
781
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:10,320
experience hotels are fun, but I
also, we haven't had that deep
782
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,680
of our relationship, you know,
on a consistent basis where you
783
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,960
could just have someone come
over for dinner and stay the
784
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:20,000
night.
And to me, that would be ideal.
785
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,640
There's plenty of places for you
to sleep.
786
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:25,120
We already have that all worked
out if we were to have that.
787
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:28,040
But you.
Know but I think once in a while
788
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:33,160
a hotel's fun but I also like
the idea of, you know, having
789
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:36,320
someone over for dinner and like
just experiencing life with them
790
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:39,560
besides just sex, you know
there's more to.
791
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:45,520
It yeah, that's that's by far
our preferred what way to play,
792
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,600
I mean.
Yeah, that's, you know, and
793
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:50,680
that's really been my ammo since
forever.
794
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:58,080
I, I have to have connection
and, and I really appreciate men
795
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,600
that have big brains and I want
to have a, at least a
796
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,400
friendship.
I'm not really interested in
797
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:06,240
sleeping with people if it isn't
somebody I would want to be
798
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:09,560
friends with.
So, so my field, although we
799
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:13,560
don't have very many black men
here where we live anyway, that
800
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:17,240
narrows my field even more
because not everybody's willing
801
00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:21,800
to invest the time in being
friends and getting to know each
802
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:25,160
other and, you know, spending a
little bit more time.
803
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:29,280
So, so we have long, long, long
dry spells.
804
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:34,440
So this real life thing has to
be a real thing because most of
805
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,920
ours is real life.
And then like you'd mentioned
806
00:50:38,240 --> 00:50:41,160
about sleeping in the other
room, that's typically our thing
807
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:44,920
too, is we might all go to bed
to well, actually, the way it
808
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:48,120
usually works out as I'm doing
the dishes, Crystal and her
809
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:51,120
friend go upstairs to bed and
then I'll join them, you know,
810
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,320
like 1520 minutes later or
something.
811
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,040
And we'll all play for a little
while.
812
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:57,760
But then I go to the spare
bedroom for the night and
813
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:00,840
she'll, she'll sleep alone with
him for the evening.
814
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:04,480
That's kind of the thing that we
do now, you know.
815
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:06,320
Yeah, and it's and that we both
like that.
816
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:10,680
So three people in a bed is just
nobody gets any sleep, you know?
817
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:13,600
No, I I think that sounds.
Great.
818
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:20,040
Yeah, Super fun.
Well, I so much thank all of you
819
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,680
for being willing to, you know,
open your hearts and your
820
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:27,720
stories because I think a lot of
people will benefit from this.
821
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,720
And I just appreciate your
willingness to rearrange your
822
00:51:31,720 --> 00:51:35,120
schedule to be here today.
I think we should do it again
823
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,400
because I think there's a lot
more we could talk about, but
824
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:44,440
but we'll talk about that later.
But anyway, for now, thank you
825
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:49,600
Ann and James and Bitchard.
It really was a fun conversation
826
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:53,520
and I hope it benefits our
listeners a great deal.
827
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,840
We're just like real humans out
here in suburbia, like everybody
828
00:51:57,840 --> 00:51:59,680
else.
It was a little secret.
829
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:04,480
It it was fun and I appreciate
you and including us so.
830
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:08,560
Yeah, we really enjoyed.
It Yeah, Thank you so much.
831
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:10,960
All right, guys, signing off.