WEBVTT
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Hello, everyone.
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Welcome back to the podcast.
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I am excited to be diving into another episode for you.
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This is a little fun audio episode.
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So grab a cup of coffee.
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If you're on a walk, happy to be on your walk with you.
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Because I am diving into why I don't drink, which is a question that I get a lot.
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It's a little like surprising because I'm kind of intrigued as to why people are so interested.
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Or maybe, you know, you think I guess you I forget how much of a thing it sometimes is, depending on your life and what people around you do.
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And you know, sometimes when I'm traveling or at events or in different dinners, like spending time with people who don't know me particularly well, it's a bit sometimes shocking that I don't drink.
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And I when I say I don't drink, I mean I don't drink alcohol.
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And, you know, what's interesting is that when people hear that, or when people hear in general that somebody doesn't drink, they immediately want to know why.
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It's almost like shocking that someone doesn't drink, or they think, you know, there was a problem.
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Did something happen?
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Are you doing some sort of challenge?
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Is it like for religious reasons?
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And for me, it's none of those things.
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It's not like I ever had like a drinking problem.
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I don't identify as sober because I don't, you know, I feel like that's very much reversed or reserved for people who are more like alcoholics or addicted to alcohol.
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So I don't identify as that.
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But I think what's interesting is how unusual we've made the decision seem.
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Right?
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How unusual it is to not drink.
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So let me kind of just like break this open for you.
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Because I don't know.
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If someone told you that they don't do a particular workout, you probably wouldn't question it.
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But when you tell somebody that you don't drink alcohol, it's like, oh my God, why?
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So I want to dive into that.
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Almost as though like alcohol is something that we're supposed to participate in.
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And this is especially true, I would say for sure back in the day when I first stopped drinking.
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Now less so, I would say, in the last like three, four years, but even in 2020, it was shocking for people when I didn't drink and things like that.
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And so I think the the question should really be reversed in terms of, you know, why have we normalized consuming something that has well-established negative health effects to the point that choosing not to consume it requires an explanation.
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Now, I want to be clear.
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Look at Miss Episode, it's not about judging people who drink.
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You might drink, you might not drink as we listen to this episode.
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You get to decide that.
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But I do think it's worth having a conversation about alcohol that is really truthful.
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And as I reveal kind of like the truth about alcohol, you'll kind of see, and you can make your own decisions for yourself, but you'll understand like more why I don't.
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Because I really think there's, you know, two primary reasons for not drinking, right?
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The first is that A, I mean, I, for those of you who don't know, I have a medical background, right?
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I have a very, I went to medical school, I'm a doctor.
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Like, so when I look at alcohol, I very much look at what it does physiologically.
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And because I look at what it does physiologically, and because I it's almost like when you know too much, it's like, oh, it's like when you know cigarettes are bad, it's like the thought of smoking a cigarette would feel like to your body, same type of thing.
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And so there's that aspect of just like understanding what alcohol does to the physical body.
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And, you know, to a larger extent, is that it doesn't make me feel my best.
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And I, the standard for my life is feeling incredible, right?
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Feeling incredible is a standard I have for my life.
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It's not a reward, it's not something I get to experience once in a while.
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It is, you know, it's not something I'm willing to sacrifice because something else is more, you know, either socially normal or there's pressure around it.
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Like it's a standard.
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And because I always want to feel my best, because I, you know, physically want to feel good.
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I don't want to be tired.
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I don't want to be lethargic.
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I don't want to have anxiety, you know, I don't want it to affect my day the next day.
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I don't want my brain to be foggy, you know, I want to be very present with my clients.
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I want to be able to really make like fulfill my mission to get good into the world.
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And I'm very much interested in standards that support that and support building the company and support how I want to feel in my body.
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So we're gonna be going into kind of like all of this in terms of, you know, why people have normalized it.
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We're gonna talk about the physical body and really what happens when you stop making decisions based on what you can get away with and start making decisions based on the life you actually want to experience.
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Because I think those are very different questions.
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And because I don't like to, well, we'll we'll get into it, but that's a very different question.
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So, like I said, for anyone who hasn't been following me for years, some of you may know that my background is actually in health.
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So before I was doing this very much chronic health symptoms, health, went to school to become a doctor.
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I still very much am into health, wellness, all of those things.
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But I've spent, I would say decades fascinated by the human body.
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Like when I was little, I had books about the human body and anatomy.
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Like my favorite book growing up was like the big book of the body.
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That's what it was called.
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And I love seeing like the muscles, the bones, the nerve, the tissues.
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You could you could tell I was born to be a doctor, right?
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How it functions, how the nervous system interacts with our physiology, how an environment, you know, affects us.
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And so I very much had a lot of chronic health symptoms, which led me to spending years looking for answers, and that changed my relationship with my body.
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So one of the things that I discovered then was that alcohol did not make me feel good.
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And I definitely had alcohol affect me very intensely.
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Even when I was in university, I probably just ignored it.
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So in university, I was very much a traditional, I would say, university student, going to pancake keggers, going out Fridays, Saturdays, shots, drinks, like the more classic, if you will.
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So this was only something I would say fourth year university and onwards is when I kind of took a step back from alcohol, and very much because it was affecting my ability to sleep, to have good energy.
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I felt very sick very quickly drinking alcohol, but that's because I needed liver support.
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And so I won't go down that whole route.
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But I think something that sometimes people miss when it comes to their health is that they see maybe the food, the exercise, the supplements, but they don't choose or they don't think about what they choose not to consume.
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Right.
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And they assume maybe that it's about restriction.
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And not drinking alcohol has nothing to do with restriction.
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It's always been about expansion, right?
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How much energy can I experience?
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How good can I feel?
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How much can I support my body?
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How present can I be?
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How alive can I feel in my life?
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And so I'm not interested in simply getting through the day.
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I don't want to feel tired the next day.
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I don't want to feel any of that.
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So instead of, you know, asking, can I get away with drinking alcohol and still be healthy?
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It's, well, does alcohol contribute to the health and vitality that I'm creating in my life?
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For me, the answer was no.
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And so I really encourage you to ask and be honest with yourself if alcohol actually adds to your life, or if alcohol is either a coping mechanism, right?
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And it's very much people think at the end of a stressful day, oh, I need a glass of wine or I need a drink.
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It's very present in society.
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Not good.
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It's just been normalized.
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Or people also do it with food, but this episode is not about emotional eating, but people do this with food as well.
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And this is where when you just look at alcohol, right, instead of you know thinking about it as what it represents culturally, looking at it for what it is.
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Right, from a physiological perspective, the substance we're talking about is ethanol.
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And ethanol is a psychoactive, toxic substance.
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When you consume alcohol, your body has to metabolize it, right?
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Your liver has to metabolize it.
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One of the main pathways through your liver is converting ethanol into acetylaldehyde.
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Acetylaldehyde is a toxic compound that damages DNA and proteins, right?
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And then your body works to convert that into acetate, which can be broken down even further.
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So, yes, your body has a mechanism for processing alcohol.
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But the fact that your body can process the substance doesn't make that substance beneficial.
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And so I'm not looking to add to the toxic burden of my liver.
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It's the same reason why I use non-toxic beady products, non-toxic cleaning products, you know, no fragrances, things like that, because I am not looking to add burden to my liver.
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And so this is where people will be like, oh, antioxidants and red wine and this and that.
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Yes, but you can put alcohol in the most beautiful bottle imaginable and give it good marketing.
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Your body is still processing alcohol.
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And it's worth understanding.
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And I think this is where a lot of people don't actually understand the toxic burden of alcohol to their body.
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So they're perhaps not making an informed decision.
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Whereas something like cigarettes, I feel like people are more, they more understand the dangers of cigarettes, the ingredients that are in cigarettes, the tar, the this, the that, and how it affects the lungs and all that.
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But they don't actually understand alcohol.
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Right.
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And so, number one, alcohol is a known human carcinogen.
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Like it is classified by the International Agency of Research as like a group one carcinogen.
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You can Google group one carcinogens, you'll see everything that's a carcinogen.
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That means that there is sufficient evidence that it can cause cancer in humans, specifically, you know, breast, colorectal, liver, and then cancers of like the mouth, throat, esophagus.
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So when you understand, or you're looking at the the risk, it's like I ask myself, why would I intentionally add something to my life that increases a risk that I'm actively interested in reducing or not having?
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It's the same question.
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This is where I think it's so powerful for everyone to genuinely ask themselves these questions.
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Now I think about sleep.
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Sleep is so important to me.
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Right?
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Getting a good night's sleep is so integral.
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Like I I can't stress to you, I would say the number one thing for your health is you need adequate restful sleep.
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Everything else is kind of like a downstream effect of that.
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And I think sometimes people assume that alcohol helps them sleep because alcohol can make you feel sleepy.
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Alcohol does not help with sleep.
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Right?
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Alcohol having a sedative effect is not the same thing as getting high quality restorative sleep.
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And so because alcohol actually disrupts your sleep, right?
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The architecture of your sleep, your REM sleep, and makes you feel less rested the next day.
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So people assume that you know, if they have a few drinks, they fall asleep quickly.
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You don't actually get good sleep.
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You wake up feeling less rested, your energy isn't the same, your mood is different.
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I know for me and for a lot of clients, they feel more like they'll feel anxiety.
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So back when I was struggling with anxiety, I don't need more, cutting out alcohol also massively helps.
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And I know so many clients who their nervous system feels worse with alcohol.
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Right?
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Their energy is affected, their creativity, their emotional regulation, their you know, ability to be present, the way their brain works.
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So again, if something interferes with the quality of my sleep, why would I want to make that a regular part of my life?
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And like we said, the nervous system.
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I am like the nervous system queen, right?
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Alcohol changes activity in your central nervous system.
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It influences different neurotransmitters that are involved in reward and mood and like your general health and how you feel.
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So, yes, sure, initially alcohol can create a feeling of relaxation, right?
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Your inhibitions decrease, you feel less self-conscious, or you might feel more socially comfortable.
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But as the alcohol wears off, you get anxiety basically, okay, hangover anxiety.
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And what I find interesting is that someone might consume alcohol because they want to relax, only to actually have a rebound effect where they feel more unsettled after or more anxious the next day.
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Less less calm and clear.
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And this is where like asking yourself is it making you feel temporarily relaxed versus you know supporting the baseline state?
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Because feeling temporarily different isn't the same as feeling genuinely better.
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So it's also important to ask yourself from that.
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Right, is this just giving me a temporary relief?
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Am I looking for this to soothe a bad day or a busy week or the kids doing whatever?
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Now, if we think about it long term, alcohol can also affect you know cardiovascular health, right?
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Higher intake affects blood pressure.
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And so we know that all of these findings, right, and importantly, you don't need to drink alcohol to support your health, even though you know red wine has technically antioxidants.
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It's like finding the the good compounds in a cigarette to justify having a cigarette.
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It's like, oh, nicotine can help you focus, but all right, it you're finding you're cherry picking, essentially.
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There are other ways to do that.
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And so when you really step back and you look at the totality of the evidence when it comes to, you know, sleep, nervous system health, cardiovascular health, all of the like liver health, you have to ask yourself, what game do you want to play?
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Because then you'll have to mitigate the effects.
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All right, if you're gonna be drinking, you need exponential more liver support.
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Okay, are you drinking?
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But then we're probably gonna have to cut out fragrances, all right?
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If you're gonna be using fragrances and more toxic beauty products and drinking, then the burden on your liver is harder.
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All right, that's gonna affect hormones, that's gonna affect fertility.
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And so you just have to ask yourself, what is the game you want to play?
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And I do find it's so that would sound so mentally exhausting to be like, all right, if I want, I'm gonna be drinking like three or four drinks this weekend.
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All right, in order to cancel it out and mitigate it, I gotta, you know, maybe buy some activated charcoal.
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I need to drink some dandelion root tea, I need to do these things.
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Okay.
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So if I'm gonna do that, I need to.
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Do you see how like the the balancing out?
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It's kind of like eating healthy.
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It's you're like negotiating with yourself in order to have something detrimental so that you can like then try to mitigate the effects.
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Now I think the best and the most clearest thing is really asking yourself not how alcohol makes you feel while you're drinking it, but how do you feel after you drink it?
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Do you wake up energized, clear?
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Do you feel your best?
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Do you feel like, yes, that is this is the highest expression of me.
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When I think about my highest self, she is drinking alcohol.
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This is a very real question.
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Like I said in the beginning of this episode, no judgments, but be honest with yourself.
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What do you notice about when you drink or how you feel when you drink?
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Right?
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And now that you know, okay, every and it it is true, every glass of alcohol or in glass of wine or every alcoholic drink does affect your body.
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It's not like some of them do and some of them don't.
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But just asking, does this make me feel my best?
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I think sometimes we overcomplicate standards that are actually very simple.
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Because once you know how you want to feel, certain decisions become obvious.
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And this is where you can say, you know what?
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I am okay with sometimes feeling anxious.
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I am okay with waking up the next day and feeling brainvog.
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And some people might hear me say that and think I'm being sarcastic.
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I'm not being sarcastic.
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I am genuinely just sit and have a conversation of like, all right, if I'm gonna do this, I will whatever how alcohol makes you feel, I will feel this way.
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Okay, I am willing to feel that.
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Or I'm willing to experience a lower mood, or I'm willing to be more inflamed, or I'm willing to feel buffet, or I'm willing to have brain fog, or I'm willing to feel I don't know if I said low mood, low mood, either more like weepy or depressed or anxious.
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And you know, I also think that there's so many people who've confused pleasure with the things that are attached to the pleasure, right?
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Because alcohol can sometimes be associated with like almost every pleasurable experience.
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You think about birthdays, celebrations, romance, you know, vacation, a dinner, a wedding, you know, a Friday night.
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You can still you can separate the experience from the substance, right?
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So many people assume that in order to celebrate, I need to be drinking alcohol, right?
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Or that wine is part of romance, or that cocktails are part of vacation, but is it?
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Or have you simply repeated those associations so many times that it feels inseparable?
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And now I think we're luckier than ever because, like I said, I remember like 10 years ago when if I didn't drink and I went out with people, their versions of mocktail was like a fruit juice.
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Now we have like basically everywhere I go has beautiful mocktails made with like seed lip and they're low sugar, and so it's not just drinking fruit juice, and so there's not really any FOMO because you can still have like a something that's not water or fruit juice.
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And so think about you know, can you sit in an extraordinary restaurant and enjoy it without drinking?
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Because if you can't enjoy an experience without drinking, that means you're attached to the drinking, right?
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Can you travel somewhere beautiful?
00:20:21.359 --> 00:20:22.480
Can you celebrate something?
00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:23.920
Can you get dressed up and go out?
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:32.079
Can you dance and laugh and enjoy and have an incredible time and realize that the pleasure is never necessarily in the alcohol?
00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:37.359
The pleasure is in the people, in the atmosphere, in the conversation, in the music, whatever it is that you're going.
00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:40.880
And so it's worth questioning, right?
00:20:40.960 --> 00:20:48.559
How many things you've become convinced that you need in order to experience something that might already be available to you.
00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:56.240
Because I don't experience not drinking as missing out, I experience it as actually being fully available for the things I enjoy.
00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:00.319
You know, I get the beautiful evening and I get to wake up feeling incredible the next morning.
00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:03.440
That's a to me a pretty extraordinary combination.
00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:16.880
And so I'm gonna touch on kind of probably one of the more last things about this, which is that when people assume or they they think about it as deprivation, I'm not denying myself something.
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:22.160
It's not because I'm disciplined or, you know, that I'm trying to miss out on life.
00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:30.640
And I can see why it might be perceived that way, because if alcohol is something you really enjoy, then choosing not to drink feels like giving something up.
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:32.799
But I don't experience it that way.
00:21:33.039 --> 00:21:39.599
So the reframe I'm gonna offer you is well, what if drinking is what would feel like giving something up?
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:44.559
Instead, it's well, what if the thing I value more is waking up clear?
00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:47.039
What if I value my sleep?
00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:49.279
What if I value feeling amazing?
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:53.200
What if I value being regulated?
00:21:55.599 --> 00:21:57.279
And then it doesn't feel restrictive.
00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:00.640
It feels like, well, I'm I'm protecting my body and protecting something I Love.
00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:04.240
And that's such a different relationship with something.
00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:10.160
Because I think so many people are trying to force themselves into behaviors that they think they should want.
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:10.720
Right?
00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:16.000
They should exercise, they should eat well, they should sleep more, they should take care of themselves.
00:22:16.079 --> 00:22:20.400
And then everything becomes this enormous battle of willpower.
00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:25.519
But when you genuinely value the outcome, your relationship with the behavior changes.
00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:28.319
You're not simply avoiding something that you know is bad for you.
00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:30.480
You're choosing something that you love more.
00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:33.200
I don't need to force myself not to drink.
00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:38.240
I don't need to sit at dinner desperately whining or wishing that I had a glass of wine.
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:44.240
It's just not something I desire, because I desire how I feel without it more.
00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:46.640
And that's a very different place to come from.
00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:50.960
And this is kind of where there's a difference between rules and standards.
00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:56.240
A rule is like, well, I'm not allowed to do that, or I'm not allowed to have that, or I'm not allowed to have a drink.
00:22:56.400 --> 00:23:00.160
The standards is just that's not how I choose to live.
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:00.720
Right?
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:03.599
A rule feels like something's being imposed on you.
00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:08.720
But a standard is something that you have chosen because it supports the life that you want.
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:17.039
And I think this is one of the reasons people can struggle so much with this, is that they're trying to force themselves to follow a rule that they actually haven't decided to live by.
00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:21.119
So then every time the opportunity comes up, they have to make a decision again.
00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:22.720
And this eats up capacity, right?
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:23.920
Should I, shouldn't I?
00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:26.160
Maybe just this one, oh, maybe this one drink.
00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:27.519
Maybe I'll start again on Monday.
00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:30.000
And there's this constant negotiation.
00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:35.920
But when something becomes very much a standard, there's no negotiation.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:42.720
Not because you're incapable of making exceptions and not because you're rigid, but because you've just decided what matters to you.
00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:46.160
And then you don't have to keep making a decision you've already made.
00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:48.799
For me, not drinking is one of those decisions.
00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:53.519
May I have a sip of champagne on New Year's or in a celebration?
00:23:53.759 --> 00:23:55.200
We're talking like two sips.
00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:56.720
That's why I don't like the word it's over.
00:23:56.880 --> 00:23:59.920
But I cannot run, like, I don't drink a drink.
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:05.920
I don't, I wouldn't want to, I probably get completely drunk off of like half a glass of wine at this point.
00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:10.960
So it's just how I live.
00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:14.720
And this is where the conversation becomes really interesting.
00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:21.279
Because when I think about that, right, I think about the woman who's creating and holding the level of business and impact that I want.
00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:23.039
I just think, what does her life look like?
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:23.920
What is her energy?
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:25.039
How does she make decisions?
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:26.079
What does she value?
00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:27.359
What does she prioritize?
00:24:27.440 --> 00:24:29.359
And how does she take care of herself?
00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:35.839
It's something like that simple.
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:38.319
So I want you to really think about this.
00:24:42.559 --> 00:24:45.839
What is what is this making you think about?
00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:54.960
Because this is really about knowing yourself well enough to understand what supports your highest expression.
00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:57.359
Without making one bad or wrong.
00:24:57.440 --> 00:25:07.039
Like I said, there is no, I mean, arguably, there is bad or wrong, but I am very much a proponent of you have to be willing to take the consequences.
00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:10.400
Right.
00:25:10.480 --> 00:25:18.640
And for me, I take my health seriously, I prioritize sleep, it's moving my body, it's, you know, being discerning what what I consume is taking care of my system.
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:21.039
It's, you know, being present with the people I love.
00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:23.200
And yes, it's choosing not to drink.
00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:31.920
Because there are 1000% incredibly successful people who drink alcohol.
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:32.960
That's not the point.
00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:42.400
The point is that I know what supports the version of me and how I want to feel in my body and in my life.
00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:51.680
So I want you to think about your highest version.
00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:58.799
And whether she either drinks or not, how much she drinks.
00:25:59.839 --> 00:26:07.599
There was a concept I created back in the day when I was doing more health coaching with my clients, which was it's called conscious cocktails.
00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:11.119
And so you just become you're more conscious of it.
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:18.480
Because sometimes people, the your default is to pour a glass of wine at the end of the day, or it's Friday, or it's Saturday, so we're drinking.
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:20.480
So you remove, there's no consciousness of it.
00:26:20.559 --> 00:26:21.599
It becomes like a habit.
00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:23.920
It's just something you do.
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:42.559
Versus conscious cocktails is very much consciously asking yourself, interrupting yourself before having multiple drinks, or thinking about, you know, all right, I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna have a drink, or I'm gonna have water between drinks, whatever it is, but you're at least making the thought process more conscious.
00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:45.279
And so that also supports you, right?
00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:49.200
Think about the standards that support that, right?
00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:52.319
If you want to feel amazing in your body, what are the standards that support that?
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:55.359
And so if it is, you're you are going to be drinking.
00:26:55.440 --> 00:26:57.279
It's like, all right, we got to do some liver support.
00:26:57.359 --> 00:26:58.640
We've probably got to mitigate that.
00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:02.720
Okay, we're probably gonna want to cut down on the burden we give our liver on these things.
00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:05.200
All right, we're gonna do these things.
00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:08.960
And there's no shame, right?
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:13.200
But then, all right, I'm willing to feel this way the next day.
00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:15.920
I'm willing to not be as sharp.
00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:22.559
Because when you can make a decision like that, it becomes very different.
00:27:23.519 --> 00:27:26.960
And sometimes people around you might question it, like, right, why don't you drink?
00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:33.440
You can't just have one, not even for a celebration, and then you feel like maybe you need to defend your choice or explain it or justify it.
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:45.119
But I would also see if you can go out and enjoy people and celebrate without needing something.
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:49.519
Notice where there's like a need or where you're using it to soothe.
00:27:55.759 --> 00:28:00.480
So this is why I don't drink.
00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:03.200
It's not something, you know, revolutionary.
00:28:03.359 --> 00:28:07.920
It's not because I have something bad happened one time with alcohol.
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:19.839
But it's as simple as it does not foster my highest self.
00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:23.599
And so this is where I really want to bring it back to you.
00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:32.000
Because maybe you drink, maybe you don't, maybe you have a glass of wine a month or a glass of wine a week, maybe you have no interest in changing your relationship with alcohol.
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:40.880
But I want you to look at the bigger conversation is where you repeatedly negotiating maybe with something that you already know doesn't support how you want to feel.
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:42.160
And maybe it's alcohol, though.
00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:43.119
It could also be something else.
00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:46.400
It could be like scrolling your phone when you know you should be getting a good night's sleep.
00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:50.319
It could be overworking, it could be not feeding your body the way you should.
00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:52.559
It could be a whole host of other things.
00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:56.640
But would what do you know to be true?
00:28:57.119 --> 00:29:02.880
And really thinking about the standards that you want to set for yourself and where you want to go.
00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:11.519
And really seeing alcohol as something much bigger than alcohol, which is just how you want to feel.
00:29:13.920 --> 00:29:17.279
So that is this week's episode.
00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:19.599
I will see you guys in the next one.
00:29:19.759 --> 00:29:25.119
Do not forget that you can always leave a rating and review of the show and receive live cash.
00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:28.720
And so all the instructions for that are always in the description box.
00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:30.720
And I'll see you in the next episode.
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:01.760
Hello, everyone.
00:00:01.919 --> 00:00:03.680
Welcome back to the podcast.
00:00:03.919 --> 00:00:07.440
I am excited to be diving into another episode for you.
00:00:07.519 --> 00:00:10.080
This is a little fun audio episode.
00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:11.519
So grab a cup of coffee.
00:00:11.599 --> 00:00:14.640
If you're on a walk, happy to be on your walk with you.
00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:19.920
Because I am diving into why I don't drink, which is a question that I get a lot.
00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:25.440
It's a little like surprising because I'm kind of intrigued as to why people are so interested.
00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:37.759
Or maybe, you know, you think I guess you I forget how much of a thing it sometimes is, depending on your life and what people around you do.
00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:48.799
And you know, sometimes when I'm traveling or at events or in different dinners, like spending time with people who don't know me particularly well, it's a bit sometimes shocking that I don't drink.
00:00:49.039 --> 00:00:51.920
And I when I say I don't drink, I mean I don't drink alcohol.
00:00:52.240 --> 00:01:01.280
And, you know, what's interesting is that when people hear that, or when people hear in general that somebody doesn't drink, they immediately want to know why.
00:01:01.359 --> 00:01:06.239
It's almost like shocking that someone doesn't drink, or they think, you know, there was a problem.
00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:07.920
Did something happen?
00:01:08.239 --> 00:01:09.920
Are you doing some sort of challenge?
00:01:10.159 --> 00:01:11.840
Is it like for religious reasons?
00:01:11.920 --> 00:01:13.599
And for me, it's none of those things.
00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:15.920
It's not like I ever had like a drinking problem.
00:01:16.079 --> 00:01:26.480
I don't identify as sober because I don't, you know, I feel like that's very much reversed or reserved for people who are more like alcoholics or addicted to alcohol.
00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:28.879
So I don't identify as that.
00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:35.519
But I think what's interesting is how unusual we've made the decision seem.
00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:37.120
Right?
00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:40.400
How unusual it is to not drink.
00:01:40.480 --> 00:01:43.040
So let me kind of just like break this open for you.
00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:43.920
Because I don't know.
00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:49.120
If someone told you that they don't do a particular workout, you probably wouldn't question it.
00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:54.079
But when you tell somebody that you don't drink alcohol, it's like, oh my God, why?
00:01:54.560 --> 00:01:57.680
So I want to dive into that.
00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:01.920
Almost as though like alcohol is something that we're supposed to participate in.
00:02:02.079 --> 00:02:09.680
And this is especially true, I would say for sure back in the day when I first stopped drinking.
00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:18.479
Now less so, I would say, in the last like three, four years, but even in 2020, it was shocking for people when I didn't drink and things like that.
00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:39.520
And so I think the the question should really be reversed in terms of, you know, why have we normalized consuming something that has well-established negative health effects to the point that choosing not to consume it requires an explanation.
00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:40.800
Now, I want to be clear.
00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:43.599
Look at Miss Episode, it's not about judging people who drink.
00:02:43.759 --> 00:02:47.439
You might drink, you might not drink as we listen to this episode.
00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:49.280
You get to decide that.
00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:55.039
But I do think it's worth having a conversation about alcohol that is really truthful.
00:02:55.439 --> 00:03:05.360
And as I reveal kind of like the truth about alcohol, you'll kind of see, and you can make your own decisions for yourself, but you'll understand like more why I don't.
00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:11.120
Because I really think there's, you know, two primary reasons for not drinking, right?
00:03:11.199 --> 00:03:16.719
The first is that A, I mean, I, for those of you who don't know, I have a medical background, right?
00:03:16.960 --> 00:03:19.439
I have a very, I went to medical school, I'm a doctor.
00:03:19.599 --> 00:03:24.479
Like, so when I look at alcohol, I very much look at what it does physiologically.
00:03:24.719 --> 00:03:41.520
And because I look at what it does physiologically, and because I it's almost like when you know too much, it's like, oh, it's like when you know cigarettes are bad, it's like the thought of smoking a cigarette would feel like to your body, same type of thing.
00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:48.000
And so there's that aspect of just like understanding what alcohol does to the physical body.
00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:54.159
And, you know, to a larger extent, is that it doesn't make me feel my best.
00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:59.599
And I, the standard for my life is feeling incredible, right?
00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:02.000
Feeling incredible is a standard I have for my life.
00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:05.439
It's not a reward, it's not something I get to experience once in a while.
00:04:05.520 --> 00:04:14.719
It is, you know, it's not something I'm willing to sacrifice because something else is more, you know, either socially normal or there's pressure around it.
00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:16.160
Like it's a standard.
00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:22.160
And because I always want to feel my best, because I, you know, physically want to feel good.
00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:23.279
I don't want to be tired.
00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:24.800
I don't want to be lethargic.
00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:28.720
I don't want to have anxiety, you know, I don't want it to affect my day the next day.
00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:32.800
I don't want my brain to be foggy, you know, I want to be very present with my clients.
00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:38.480
I want to be able to really make like fulfill my mission to get good into the world.
00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:51.439
And I'm very much interested in standards that support that and support building the company and support how I want to feel in my body.
00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:56.879
So we're gonna be going into kind of like all of this in terms of, you know, why people have normalized it.
00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:12.959
We're gonna talk about the physical body and really what happens when you stop making decisions based on what you can get away with and start making decisions based on the life you actually want to experience.
00:05:13.199 --> 00:05:15.920
Because I think those are very different questions.
00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:21.279
And because I don't like to, well, we'll we'll get into it, but that's a very different question.
00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:28.720
So, like I said, for anyone who hasn't been following me for years, some of you may know that my background is actually in health.
00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:35.439
So before I was doing this very much chronic health symptoms, health, went to school to become a doctor.
00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:39.920
I still very much am into health, wellness, all of those things.
00:05:40.240 --> 00:05:45.279
But I've spent, I would say decades fascinated by the human body.
00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:49.279
Like when I was little, I had books about the human body and anatomy.
00:05:49.519 --> 00:05:53.199
Like my favorite book growing up was like the big book of the body.
00:05:53.360 --> 00:05:54.639
That's what it was called.
00:05:54.879 --> 00:05:59.439
And I love seeing like the muscles, the bones, the nerve, the tissues.
00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:02.399
You could you could tell I was born to be a doctor, right?
00:06:02.560 --> 00:06:09.040
How it functions, how the nervous system interacts with our physiology, how an environment, you know, affects us.
00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:17.120
And so I very much had a lot of chronic health symptoms, which led me to spending years looking for answers, and that changed my relationship with my body.
00:06:17.199 --> 00:06:23.519
So one of the things that I discovered then was that alcohol did not make me feel good.
00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:28.319
And I definitely had alcohol affect me very intensely.
00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:31.040
Even when I was in university, I probably just ignored it.
00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:43.759
So in university, I was very much a traditional, I would say, university student, going to pancake keggers, going out Fridays, Saturdays, shots, drinks, like the more classic, if you will.
00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:59.199
So this was only something I would say fourth year university and onwards is when I kind of took a step back from alcohol, and very much because it was affecting my ability to sleep, to have good energy.
00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:04.720
I felt very sick very quickly drinking alcohol, but that's because I needed liver support.
00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:07.680
And so I won't go down that whole route.
00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:24.639
But I think something that sometimes people miss when it comes to their health is that they see maybe the food, the exercise, the supplements, but they don't choose or they don't think about what they choose not to consume.
00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:25.759
Right.
00:07:25.920 --> 00:07:28.720
And they assume maybe that it's about restriction.
00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:31.519
And not drinking alcohol has nothing to do with restriction.
00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:33.839
It's always been about expansion, right?
00:07:33.920 --> 00:07:35.360
How much energy can I experience?
00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:36.319
How good can I feel?
00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:37.920
How much can I support my body?
00:07:38.160 --> 00:07:39.199
How present can I be?
00:07:39.360 --> 00:07:41.199
How alive can I feel in my life?
00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:46.800
And so I'm not interested in simply getting through the day.
00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:48.800
I don't want to feel tired the next day.
00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:52.160
I don't want to feel any of that.
00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:57.199
So instead of, you know, asking, can I get away with drinking alcohol and still be healthy?
00:07:57.279 --> 00:08:02.639
It's, well, does alcohol contribute to the health and vitality that I'm creating in my life?
00:08:02.959 --> 00:08:04.720
For me, the answer was no.
00:08:05.600 --> 00:08:15.920
And so I really encourage you to ask and be honest with yourself if alcohol actually adds to your life, or if alcohol is either a coping mechanism, right?
00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:20.879
And it's very much people think at the end of a stressful day, oh, I need a glass of wine or I need a drink.
00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:22.639
It's very present in society.
00:08:23.600 --> 00:08:24.399
Not good.
00:08:25.279 --> 00:08:26.800
It's just been normalized.
00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:31.759
Or people also do it with food, but this episode is not about emotional eating, but people do this with food as well.
00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:46.159
And this is where when you just look at alcohol, right, instead of you know thinking about it as what it represents culturally, looking at it for what it is.
00:08:47.919 --> 00:08:52.080
Right, from a physiological perspective, the substance we're talking about is ethanol.
00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:54.960
And ethanol is a psychoactive, toxic substance.
00:08:55.120 --> 00:08:58.559
When you consume alcohol, your body has to metabolize it, right?
00:08:58.639 --> 00:09:00.159
Your liver has to metabolize it.
00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:04.480
One of the main pathways through your liver is converting ethanol into acetylaldehyde.
00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:09.440
Acetylaldehyde is a toxic compound that damages DNA and proteins, right?
00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:13.919
And then your body works to convert that into acetate, which can be broken down even further.
00:09:14.159 --> 00:09:17.840
So, yes, your body has a mechanism for processing alcohol.
00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:25.840
But the fact that your body can process the substance doesn't make that substance beneficial.
00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:30.080
And so I'm not looking to add to the toxic burden of my liver.
00:09:30.159 --> 00:09:41.519
It's the same reason why I use non-toxic beady products, non-toxic cleaning products, you know, no fragrances, things like that, because I am not looking to add burden to my liver.
00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:49.440
And so this is where people will be like, oh, antioxidants and red wine and this and that.
00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:54.399
Yes, but you can put alcohol in the most beautiful bottle imaginable and give it good marketing.
00:09:54.639 --> 00:09:57.279
Your body is still processing alcohol.
00:09:58.639 --> 00:10:00.399
And it's worth understanding.
00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:07.279
And I think this is where a lot of people don't actually understand the toxic burden of alcohol to their body.
00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:10.080
So they're perhaps not making an informed decision.
00:10:10.320 --> 00:10:20.799
Whereas something like cigarettes, I feel like people are more, they more understand the dangers of cigarettes, the ingredients that are in cigarettes, the tar, the this, the that, and how it affects the lungs and all that.
00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:23.840
But they don't actually understand alcohol.
00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:24.480
Right.
00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:28.799
And so, number one, alcohol is a known human carcinogen.
00:10:29.200 --> 00:10:34.080
Like it is classified by the International Agency of Research as like a group one carcinogen.
00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:38.159
You can Google group one carcinogens, you'll see everything that's a carcinogen.
00:10:38.960 --> 00:10:49.919
That means that there is sufficient evidence that it can cause cancer in humans, specifically, you know, breast, colorectal, liver, and then cancers of like the mouth, throat, esophagus.
00:10:50.639 --> 00:11:12.320
So when you understand, or you're looking at the the risk, it's like I ask myself, why would I intentionally add something to my life that increases a risk that I'm actively interested in reducing or not having?
00:11:16.559 --> 00:11:17.360
It's the same question.
00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:22.399
This is where I think it's so powerful for everyone to genuinely ask themselves these questions.
00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:25.039
Now I think about sleep.
00:11:25.200 --> 00:11:26.720
Sleep is so important to me.
00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:28.559
Right?
00:11:29.279 --> 00:11:32.240
Getting a good night's sleep is so integral.
00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:40.240
Like I I can't stress to you, I would say the number one thing for your health is you need adequate restful sleep.
00:11:40.399 --> 00:11:43.039
Everything else is kind of like a downstream effect of that.
00:11:45.440 --> 00:11:50.399
And I think sometimes people assume that alcohol helps them sleep because alcohol can make you feel sleepy.
00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:52.320
Alcohol does not help with sleep.
00:11:52.960 --> 00:11:53.279
Right?
00:11:53.600 --> 00:11:57.919
Alcohol having a sedative effect is not the same thing as getting high quality restorative sleep.
00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:02.080
And so because alcohol actually disrupts your sleep, right?
00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:08.000
The architecture of your sleep, your REM sleep, and makes you feel less rested the next day.
00:12:12.639 --> 00:12:16.000
So people assume that you know, if they have a few drinks, they fall asleep quickly.
00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:18.240
You don't actually get good sleep.
00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:23.600
You wake up feeling less rested, your energy isn't the same, your mood is different.
00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:29.919
I know for me and for a lot of clients, they feel more like they'll feel anxiety.
00:12:30.080 --> 00:12:36.480
So back when I was struggling with anxiety, I don't need more, cutting out alcohol also massively helps.
00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:42.159
And I know so many clients who their nervous system feels worse with alcohol.
00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:43.919
Right?
00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:51.279
Their energy is affected, their creativity, their emotional regulation, their you know, ability to be present, the way their brain works.
00:12:51.519 --> 00:12:59.679
So again, if something interferes with the quality of my sleep, why would I want to make that a regular part of my life?
00:13:00.799 --> 00:13:02.159
And like we said, the nervous system.
00:13:02.240 --> 00:13:04.159
I am like the nervous system queen, right?
00:13:04.320 --> 00:13:07.360
Alcohol changes activity in your central nervous system.
00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:18.159
It influences different neurotransmitters that are involved in reward and mood and like your general health and how you feel.
00:13:18.480 --> 00:13:23.360
So, yes, sure, initially alcohol can create a feeling of relaxation, right?
00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:30.320
Your inhibitions decrease, you feel less self-conscious, or you might feel more socially comfortable.
00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:40.320
But as the alcohol wears off, you get anxiety basically, okay, hangover anxiety.
00:13:40.559 --> 00:13:50.639
And what I find interesting is that someone might consume alcohol because they want to relax, only to actually have a rebound effect where they feel more unsettled after or more anxious the next day.
00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:54.480
Less less calm and clear.
00:13:57.440 --> 00:14:09.200
And this is where like asking yourself is it making you feel temporarily relaxed versus you know supporting the baseline state?
00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:15.200
Because feeling temporarily different isn't the same as feeling genuinely better.
00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:20.720
So it's also important to ask yourself from that.
00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:26.480
Right, is this just giving me a temporary relief?
00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:33.919
Am I looking for this to soothe a bad day or a busy week or the kids doing whatever?
00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:43.279
Now, if we think about it long term, alcohol can also affect you know cardiovascular health, right?
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:45.840
Higher intake affects blood pressure.
00:14:47.200 --> 00:15:03.440
And so we know that all of these findings, right, and importantly, you don't need to drink alcohol to support your health, even though you know red wine has technically antioxidants.
00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:08.559
It's like finding the the good compounds in a cigarette to justify having a cigarette.
00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:15.360
It's like, oh, nicotine can help you focus, but all right, it you're finding you're cherry picking, essentially.
00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:18.240
There are other ways to do that.
00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:39.679
And so when you really step back and you look at the totality of the evidence when it comes to, you know, sleep, nervous system health, cardiovascular health, all of the like liver health, you have to ask yourself, what game do you want to play?
00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:42.159
Because then you'll have to mitigate the effects.
00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:45.759
All right, if you're gonna be drinking, you need exponential more liver support.
00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:47.200
Okay, are you drinking?
00:15:47.360 --> 00:15:50.320
But then we're probably gonna have to cut out fragrances, all right?
00:15:50.399 --> 00:15:56.159
If you're gonna be using fragrances and more toxic beauty products and drinking, then the burden on your liver is harder.
00:15:56.240 --> 00:15:59.279
All right, that's gonna affect hormones, that's gonna affect fertility.
00:15:59.440 --> 00:16:06.639
And so you just have to ask yourself, what is the game you want to play?
00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:16.000
And I do find it's so that would sound so mentally exhausting to be like, all right, if I want, I'm gonna be drinking like three or four drinks this weekend.
00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:20.559
All right, in order to cancel it out and mitigate it, I gotta, you know, maybe buy some activated charcoal.
00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:24.080
I need to drink some dandelion root tea, I need to do these things.
00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:24.559
Okay.
00:16:24.799 --> 00:16:26.559
So if I'm gonna do that, I need to.
00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:28.559
Do you see how like the the balancing out?
00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:29.919
It's kind of like eating healthy.
00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:39.120
It's you're like negotiating with yourself in order to have something detrimental so that you can like then try to mitigate the effects.
00:16:40.559 --> 00:17:00.960
Now I think the best and the most clearest thing is really asking yourself not how alcohol makes you feel while you're drinking it, but how do you feel after you drink it?
00:17:01.679 --> 00:17:04.319
Do you wake up energized, clear?
00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:06.559
Do you feel your best?
00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:10.559
Do you feel like, yes, that is this is the highest expression of me.
00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:14.960
When I think about my highest self, she is drinking alcohol.
00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:16.079
This is a very real question.
00:17:16.559 --> 00:17:22.160
Like I said in the beginning of this episode, no judgments, but be honest with yourself.
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:26.559
What do you notice about when you drink or how you feel when you drink?
00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:30.720
Right?
00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:40.079
And now that you know, okay, every and it it is true, every glass of alcohol or in glass of wine or every alcoholic drink does affect your body.
00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:43.359
It's not like some of them do and some of them don't.
00:17:46.880 --> 00:17:51.119
But just asking, does this make me feel my best?
00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:54.880
I think sometimes we overcomplicate standards that are actually very simple.
00:17:55.119 --> 00:18:00.000
Because once you know how you want to feel, certain decisions become obvious.
00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:08.000
And this is where you can say, you know what?
00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:10.880
I am okay with sometimes feeling anxious.
00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:13.759
I am okay with waking up the next day and feeling brainvog.
00:18:13.920 --> 00:18:16.559
And some people might hear me say that and think I'm being sarcastic.
00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:18.160
I'm not being sarcastic.
00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:29.759
I am genuinely just sit and have a conversation of like, all right, if I'm gonna do this, I will whatever how alcohol makes you feel, I will feel this way.
00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:32.559
Okay, I am willing to feel that.
00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:50.240
Or I'm willing to experience a lower mood, or I'm willing to be more inflamed, or I'm willing to feel buffet, or I'm willing to have brain fog, or I'm willing to feel I don't know if I said low mood, low mood, either more like weepy or depressed or anxious.
00:18:52.160 --> 00:19:01.759
And you know, I also think that there's so many people who've confused pleasure with the things that are attached to the pleasure, right?
00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:06.000
Because alcohol can sometimes be associated with like almost every pleasurable experience.
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:15.039
You think about birthdays, celebrations, romance, you know, vacation, a dinner, a wedding, you know, a Friday night.
00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:21.039
You can still you can separate the experience from the substance, right?
00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:26.000
So many people assume that in order to celebrate, I need to be drinking alcohol, right?
00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:30.559
Or that wine is part of romance, or that cocktails are part of vacation, but is it?
00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:37.039
Or have you simply repeated those associations so many times that it feels inseparable?
00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:49.599
And now I think we're luckier than ever because, like I said, I remember like 10 years ago when if I didn't drink and I went out with people, their versions of mocktail was like a fruit juice.
00:19:49.839 --> 00:20:07.279
Now we have like basically everywhere I go has beautiful mocktails made with like seed lip and they're low sugar, and so it's not just drinking fruit juice, and so there's not really any FOMO because you can still have like a something that's not water or fruit juice.
00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:14.559
And so think about you know, can you sit in an extraordinary restaurant and enjoy it without drinking?
00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:19.839
Because if you can't enjoy an experience without drinking, that means you're attached to the drinking, right?
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:21.200
Can you travel somewhere beautiful?
00:20:21.359 --> 00:20:22.480
Can you celebrate something?
00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:23.920
Can you get dressed up and go out?
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:32.079
Can you dance and laugh and enjoy and have an incredible time and realize that the pleasure is never necessarily in the alcohol?
00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:37.359
The pleasure is in the people, in the atmosphere, in the conversation, in the music, whatever it is that you're going.
00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:40.880
And so it's worth questioning, right?
00:20:40.960 --> 00:20:48.559
How many things you've become convinced that you need in order to experience something that might already be available to you.
00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:56.240
Because I don't experience not drinking as missing out, I experience it as actually being fully available for the things I enjoy.
00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:00.319
You know, I get the beautiful evening and I get to wake up feeling incredible the next morning.
00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:03.440
That's a to me a pretty extraordinary combination.
00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:16.880
And so I'm gonna touch on kind of probably one of the more last things about this, which is that when people assume or they they think about it as deprivation, I'm not denying myself something.
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:22.160
It's not because I'm disciplined or, you know, that I'm trying to miss out on life.
00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:30.640
And I can see why it might be perceived that way, because if alcohol is something you really enjoy, then choosing not to drink feels like giving something up.
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:32.799
But I don't experience it that way.
00:21:33.039 --> 00:21:39.599
So the reframe I'm gonna offer you is well, what if drinking is what would feel like giving something up?
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:44.559
Instead, it's well, what if the thing I value more is waking up clear?
00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:47.039
What if I value my sleep?
00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:49.279
What if I value feeling amazing?
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:53.200
What if I value being regulated?
00:21:55.599 --> 00:21:57.279
And then it doesn't feel restrictive.
00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:00.640
It feels like, well, I'm I'm protecting my body and protecting something I Love.
00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:04.240
And that's such a different relationship with something.
00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:10.160
Because I think so many people are trying to force themselves into behaviors that they think they should want.
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:10.720
Right?
00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:16.000
They should exercise, they should eat well, they should sleep more, they should take care of themselves.
00:22:16.079 --> 00:22:20.400
And then everything becomes this enormous battle of willpower.
00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:25.519
But when you genuinely value the outcome, your relationship with the behavior changes.
00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:28.319
You're not simply avoiding something that you know is bad for you.
00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:30.480
You're choosing something that you love more.
00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:33.200
I don't need to force myself not to drink.
00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:38.240
I don't need to sit at dinner desperately whining or wishing that I had a glass of wine.
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:44.240
It's just not something I desire, because I desire how I feel without it more.
00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:46.640
And that's a very different place to come from.
00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:50.960
And this is kind of where there's a difference between rules and standards.
00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:56.240
A rule is like, well, I'm not allowed to do that, or I'm not allowed to have that, or I'm not allowed to have a drink.
00:22:56.400 --> 00:23:00.160
The standards is just that's not how I choose to live.
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:00.720
Right?
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:03.599
A rule feels like something's being imposed on you.
00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:08.720
But a standard is something that you have chosen because it supports the life that you want.
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:17.039
And I think this is one of the reasons people can struggle so much with this, is that they're trying to force themselves to follow a rule that they actually haven't decided to live by.
00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:21.119
So then every time the opportunity comes up, they have to make a decision again.
00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:22.720
And this eats up capacity, right?
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:23.920
Should I, shouldn't I?
00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:26.160
Maybe just this one, oh, maybe this one drink.
00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:27.519
Maybe I'll start again on Monday.
00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:30.000
And there's this constant negotiation.
00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:35.920
But when something becomes very much a standard, there's no negotiation.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:42.720
Not because you're incapable of making exceptions and not because you're rigid, but because you've just decided what matters to you.
00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:46.160
And then you don't have to keep making a decision you've already made.
00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:48.799
For me, not drinking is one of those decisions.
00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:53.519
May I have a sip of champagne on New Year's or in a celebration?
00:23:53.759 --> 00:23:55.200
We're talking like two sips.
00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:56.720
That's why I don't like the word it's over.
00:23:56.880 --> 00:23:59.920
But I cannot run, like, I don't drink a drink.
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:05.920
I don't, I wouldn't want to, I probably get completely drunk off of like half a glass of wine at this point.
00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:10.960
So it's just how I live.
00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:14.720
And this is where the conversation becomes really interesting.
00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:21.279
Because when I think about that, right, I think about the woman who's creating and holding the level of business and impact that I want.
00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:23.039
I just think, what does her life look like?
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:23.920
What is her energy?
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:25.039
How does she make decisions?
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:26.079
What does she value?
00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:27.359
What does she prioritize?
00:24:27.440 --> 00:24:29.359
And how does she take care of herself?
00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:35.839
It's something like that simple.
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:38.319
So I want you to really think about this.
00:24:42.559 --> 00:24:45.839
What is what is this making you think about?
00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:54.960
Because this is really about knowing yourself well enough to understand what supports your highest expression.
00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:57.359
Without making one bad or wrong.
00:24:57.440 --> 00:25:07.039
Like I said, there is no, I mean, arguably, there is bad or wrong, but I am very much a proponent of you have to be willing to take the consequences.
00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:10.400
Right.
00:25:10.480 --> 00:25:18.640
And for me, I take my health seriously, I prioritize sleep, it's moving my body, it's, you know, being discerning what what I consume is taking care of my system.
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:21.039
It's, you know, being present with the people I love.
00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:23.200
And yes, it's choosing not to drink.
00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:31.920
Because there are 1000% incredibly successful people who drink alcohol.
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:32.960
That's not the point.
00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:42.400
The point is that I know what supports the version of me and how I want to feel in my body and in my life.
00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:51.680
So I want you to think about your highest version.
00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:58.799
And whether she either drinks or not, how much she drinks.
00:25:59.839 --> 00:26:07.599
There was a concept I created back in the day when I was doing more health coaching with my clients, which was it's called conscious cocktails.
00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:11.119
And so you just become you're more conscious of it.
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:18.480
Because sometimes people, the your default is to pour a glass of wine at the end of the day, or it's Friday, or it's Saturday, so we're drinking.
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:20.480
So you remove, there's no consciousness of it.
00:26:20.559 --> 00:26:21.599
It becomes like a habit.
00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:23.920
It's just something you do.
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:42.559
Versus conscious cocktails is very much consciously asking yourself, interrupting yourself before having multiple drinks, or thinking about, you know, all right, I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna have a drink, or I'm gonna have water between drinks, whatever it is, but you're at least making the thought process more conscious.
00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:45.279
And so that also supports you, right?
00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:49.200
Think about the standards that support that, right?
00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:52.319
If you want to feel amazing in your body, what are the standards that support that?
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:55.359
And so if it is, you're you are going to be drinking.
00:26:55.440 --> 00:26:57.279
It's like, all right, we got to do some liver support.
00:26:57.359 --> 00:26:58.640
We've probably got to mitigate that.
00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:02.720
Okay, we're probably gonna want to cut down on the burden we give our liver on these things.
00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:05.200
All right, we're gonna do these things.
00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:08.960
And there's no shame, right?
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:13.200
But then, all right, I'm willing to feel this way the next day.
00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:15.920
I'm willing to not be as sharp.
00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:22.559
Because when you can make a decision like that, it becomes very different.
00:27:23.519 --> 00:27:26.960
And sometimes people around you might question it, like, right, why don't you drink?
00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:33.440
You can't just have one, not even for a celebration, and then you feel like maybe you need to defend your choice or explain it or justify it.
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:45.119
But I would also see if you can go out and enjoy people and celebrate without needing something.
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:49.519
Notice where there's like a need or where you're using it to soothe.
00:27:55.759 --> 00:28:00.480
So this is why I don't drink.
00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:03.200
It's not something, you know, revolutionary.
00:28:03.359 --> 00:28:07.920
It's not because I have something bad happened one time with alcohol.
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:19.839
But it's as simple as it does not foster my highest self.
00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:23.599
And so this is where I really want to bring it back to you.
00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:32.000
Because maybe you drink, maybe you don't, maybe you have a glass of wine a month or a glass of wine a week, maybe you have no interest in changing your relationship with alcohol.
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:40.880
But I want you to look at the bigger conversation is where you repeatedly negotiating maybe with something that you already know doesn't support how you want to feel.
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:42.160
And maybe it's alcohol, though.
00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:43.119
It could also be something else.
00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:46.400
It could be like scrolling your phone when you know you should be getting a good night's sleep.
00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:50.319
It could be overworking, it could be not feeding your body the way you should.
00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:52.559
It could be a whole host of other things.
00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:56.640
But would what do you know to be true?
00:28:57.119 --> 00:29:02.880
And really thinking about the standards that you want to set for yourself and where you want to go.
00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:11.519
And really seeing alcohol as something much bigger than alcohol, which is just how you want to feel.
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So that is this week's episode.
00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:19.599
I will see you guys in the next one.
00:29:19.759 --> 00:29:25.119
Do not forget that you can always leave a rating and review of the show and receive live cash.
00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:28.720
And so all the instructions for that are always in the description box.
00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:30.720
And I'll see you in the next episode.
