Dr. Brad Miller 0:00
You say you have a calling in your life to serve other people.
Dr. Brad Miller 0:03
But in order to get to that calling, you've had to go through a
Dr. Brad Miller 0:05
few things. So to give us a bit of your story about how you came
Dr. Brad Miller 0:12
up, to find yourself where you're at now, through facing some
Dr. Brad Miller 0:16
challenges in your life.
Andre Paradis 0:18
Oh, yes, try to make that concise. This three phase in my life,
Andre Paradis 0:23
this is number three phase of my life. started when I was born
Andre Paradis 0:27
in the wrong family was something I believed that I got to
Andre Paradis 0:30
when I was five years old, it was disconnect with I was a
Andre Paradis 0:34
black sheep. But it was beyond that. It was like not fitting in,
Andre Paradis 0:36
like somebody had made a mistake was very interesting, very
Andre Paradis 0:39
strange. So at five years old, I kind of put my feelings and my
Andre Paradis 0:42
thoughts together and realized, I don't belong here. This is not
Andre Paradis 0:46
my people, you know, kind of weird, very scary, how's that
Andre Paradis 0:49
possible? feeling completely. I was on my own. And so off, I
Andre Paradis 0:55
went with life taking care of myself that way. But what
Andre Paradis 0:59
happened to me is that at that very young age, I became
Andre Paradis 1:02
super aware and pay attention to the world people. How is
Andre Paradis 1:09
it possible right turn to understand my circumstances. By
Andre Paradis 1:11
watching I started observing the world at work, especially
Andre Paradis 1:14
people, I became fascinated with people like the human
Andre Paradis 1:18
condition and how do you turn out like this? Why do you turn
Andre Paradis 1:21
like this and explaining my so that was sort of my radar. My
Andre Paradis 1:25
by beat my brain has been like this since then I'm
Andre Paradis 1:28
watching people behave. Life. What does it mean? How does
Andre Paradis 1:33
it work? Why does this person is successful, this one's not.
Andre Paradis 1:36
So that was sort of how I started. That'll be the way my brain is
Andre Paradis 1:42
wired and what it's looking for. So fast forward a little bit. Sad,
Andre Paradis 1:47
little kid, confused, loner, I get to high school, I went to a private
Andre Paradis 1:51
high school and for physical education program, they had yet
Andre Paradis 1:56
options, you could sign up for different things. And I'm almost 16
Andre Paradis 2:00
years old, and this cute little girl comes up to me and said, Oh, my
Andre Paradis 2:03
God, I'm glad you're here. I want to take ballroom for PE but we have
Andre Paradis 2:07
to sign as a couple. You want to sign up as a member? What?
Andre Paradis 2:11
And I didn't know she knew existed. I was like I said, the invisible
Andre Paradis 2:15
person, right? With this cute little thing, you know, asking me to
Andre Paradis 2:18
dance, but I'm gonna hold it in my arms. But yeah,
Dr. Brad Miller 2:22
Sounds good. Sounded pretty good. And yeah,
Andre Paradis 2:24
it was fantastic. Hey, like, if he was dorable, a little thing.
Andre Paradis 2:30
So a week later, we signed up a week later, we're in class.
Andre Paradis 2:32
And I remember this, like, I'm looking at you right now. And
Andre Paradis 2:34
it was so it's so still vivid. I have her in my arms, just the
Andre Paradis 2:37
bottom class, I think we're learning the Cha Cha, the teachers
Andre Paradis 2:41
on my right. And what, as he starts teaching us the steps, I
Andre Paradis 2:47
like he copy everything instantly. I just almost like I knew this
Andre Paradis 2:51
already. And I just remembered. And I just
Andre Paradis 2:53
remember it was really quite
Dr. Brad Miller 2:55
come to dance, you were a bit of a natural then it was completely,
Andre Paradis 2:58
you know, like, like I said, I felt like I knew all of this. And it just
Andre Paradis 3:02
got to be called and it was instantly. So I will go from the geek
Andre Paradis 3:07
and informants because I'm the guy who hit dance with all the
Andre Paradis 3:09
girls and they all want to dance with me because I'm instantly
Andre Paradis 3:12
sort of know how to whatever. So I go from Geek to star. And
Andre Paradis 3:17
obviously, I'm visible and popular word. So even with a program
Andre Paradis 3:21
to school, we started doing performance in school, every quarter
Andre Paradis 3:25
special events, we were actually outside the school to perform
Andre Paradis 3:28
we still had a small troupe. And I can tell you is that's the only
Andre Paradis 3:33
thing I wanted to do. It lifted my spirit it made me smile the
Andre Paradis 3:36
sad kid was now smiling because that sort of there's something
Andre Paradis 3:39
about moving your body to music, the vibrations of both, like
Andre Paradis 3:43
singers will tell you this they'll sing and hit it no and they start
Andre Paradis 3:46
crying because the you know, like the physiology and the sound
Andre Paradis 3:50
coming together just like it moves the spirit moves the heart
Andre Paradis 3:53
and I experienced that dancing was like coming together
Andre Paradis 3:56
super powerful. So that's all I wanted to do. Like from that
Andre Paradis 3:58
moment on all I want to do is dance because they made
Andre Paradis 4:00
me smile made me happy. It took the depression off my brain.
Andre Paradis 4:04
My parents thought it was insane. I mean, I'm in Montreal,
Andre Paradis 4:07
there's you can make a living at dancing. Okay, how can you
Andre Paradis 4:11
I'm supposed to go to school to be become an architect, but
Andre Paradis 4:13
that none of that will became relevant. I just wanted to breathe
Andre Paradis 4:18
and smile. I just wanted to breathe and feel alive. So I had 19
Andre Paradis 4:22
So I did this for almost four years and 19 and moved to the
Andre Paradis 4:25
West Coast getting away from everyone really, my family first.
Andre Paradis 4:31
And I get to the West Coast Vancouver there's no borough
Andre Paradis 4:34
is everyone on the East Coast. There's none of none other West
Andre Paradis 4:36
Coast is Arthur Murray, which is not what I do. Right. So I
Andre Paradis 4:41
ended up searching some kind of way to incorporate dancing back
Andre Paradis 4:45
in my life and ended up in a jazz class Jazzercise, jazz hands,
Andre Paradis 4:50
which is what I've done for years. Okay. It's very, very different
Andre Paradis 4:54
than conditioning for an hour right? The stretching the conditioning,
Andre Paradis 4:57
the strength building the alignment all this Before you get to dance,
Andre Paradis 5:02
not what I was into, but okay. And so I took class twice a week, and
Andre Paradis 5:07
within three months to get an assistant saying, they gave
Andre Paradis 5:11
me a scholarship where you get to train for free. They see talent in me.
Dr. Brad Miller 5:17
at this dance studio, right? So we're talking about, all right.
Andre Paradis 5:21
Yes. So now become part of the system where I'm one of the
Andre Paradis 5:26
upcoming, whatever potential, you know, okay, that was, again,
Andre Paradis 5:31
it was odd. So in from that moment on, I never paid for any
Andre Paradis 5:35
training. It was studio artist studio after studio, I even ended up
Andre Paradis 5:38
in a ballet studio, because you had to go back to linear base,
Andre Paradis 5:42
the base of ballet is very, very straight, linear, right? The structure
Andre Paradis 5:47
of dancing and your bodies. So I end up in ballet studio, just because
Andre Paradis 5:51
it was a layer that was not quite in place. I got a scholarship there.
Andre Paradis 5:55
It was like, it's ridiculous. So and then within this, again, my brain was
Andre Paradis 5:59
still have to go to school becomes something, even though all I was
Andre Paradis 6:03
wanting to do is dance, and has the door opening up in front of me.
Andre Paradis 6:08
I remember thinking, I think this is what I'm supposed to do. And, well, I thought
Dr. Brad Miller 6:15
You thought you were also the direction this is I'm on track for my life.
Andre Paradis 6:20
Like things kept happening to show me that path. Like, despite
Andre Paradis 6:25
me crying, really, which is interesting. So after a while thinking
Andre Paradis 6:29
like, I love this, it's all I want to do. Financially, I don't know
Andre Paradis 6:32
where it's going to take me. So I'm not able to go to school
Andre Paradis 6:36
at this point. I'm just working as a construction worker. And
Andre Paradis 6:39
I just thought I go to work or go dance or go to work or go
Andre Paradis 6:41
dance and like I said eventually was like, like, I think I should
Andre Paradis 6:44
give this a shot. Everything is lining up to push me in that
Andre Paradis 6:47
direction. And I thought okay, well, let me just try it a couple
Andre Paradis 6:50
of years. And if there's something here, it'll show up, and then
Andre Paradis 6:54
I'll go back to school or something, right, like that's just needed
Andre Paradis 6:57
to try it out. Somehow. It was calling me okay. Well, long
Andre Paradis 7:02
story short, I find myself in Los Angeles on a vacation a couple
Andre Paradis 7:07
of years from there. And I get discovered in a studio, a dance
Andre Paradis 7:13
party with all local dancers, people who do what I want to do for
Andre Paradis 7:16
living in Los Angeles and my girlfriend for two weeks. And either
Andre Paradis 7:20
we get discovered like my own Hollywood story, the guy came
Andre Paradis 7:24
up to me and said You know, I don't know who you are. I've
Andre Paradis 7:27
never seen you before. But you know, I love this national
Andre Paradis 7:30
we're doing and loss of dancer four months ago so
Dr. Brad Miller 7:34
this was this was not an audition where you were purposely going
Dr. Brad Miller 7:37
to some
Andre Paradis 7:38
absolutely not
Dr. Brad Miller 7:38
call out to some Viva show or something like this. You're at a party
Dr. Brad Miller 7:43
somebody says you, boom you're on your way.
Andre Paradis 7:45
Yep. So it gives me the job. And that was my first professional
Andre Paradis 7:49
job and again, I ended up you know, literally staying and
Andre Paradis 7:55
going on the road with that job
Dr. Brad Miller 7:58
when you went on the road unit go on the road with
Dr. Brad Miller 8:00
some pretty big name people eventually did you?
Andre Paradis 8:03
Well that first job was Chippendale so I was actually a
Andre Paradis 8:06
backup dancers for the strippers so I wasn't a stripper though.
Andre Paradis 8:09
I was part of the Shogun service can dance. So there was
Andre Paradis 8:11
four dancers or six strippers, and we actually got on stage
Andre Paradis 8:14
and kind of pumped the shows the show was incredible.
Andre Paradis 8:16
By the way, it was incredible. 2000 women at age 22 shows
Andre Paradis 8:19
and I five days a week, making money making tips. It was
Andre Paradis 8:23
absolutely wild and fun. And it's my first paying job, which
Andre Paradis 8:26
kind of confirm, hey, there's a money here's some money
Andre Paradis 8:29
doing this right so I did this for about a little bit less than a
Andre Paradis 8:34
year and a half in life on the road is not sound glamorous,
Andre Paradis 8:37
but it's not. And also as a dancer, professional dancer, you
Andre Paradis 8:39
have to keep training, you know, being on the road dancing.
Andre Paradis 8:43
I don't for the same show every night kind of numbs you.
Andre Paradis 8:47
Your strength slips your timing slips naturally. And then, you
Andre Paradis 8:51
know, sex, drugs, rock and roll. That's life on the road. So I
Andre Paradis 8:54
remember thinking is this really fun, but after a year, plus a little
Andre Paradis 8:57
bit over a year and a half. And I'm like, I need to go back home.
Andre Paradis 9:00
I need to get back in my life. This is just a job. It's gonna be
Andre Paradis 9:03
nowhere. I'm making money, but it doesn't this doesn't build
Andre Paradis 9:06
anything. Right. I'm gonna get off the road and see what you've
Andre Paradis 9:09
been with tripping nails for five years. How does it help me right?
Dr. Brad Miller 9:14
yeah, that was you kind of hit a wall there. You were not really.
Dr. Brad Miller 9:18
You first was going pretty good. And that while you realize, okay,
Dr. Brad Miller 9:21
is this all there is? Is that what I'm picking up on?
Andre Paradis 9:24
Absolutely. Absolutely. I actually realized how dangerous it
Andre Paradis 9:26
was. Because when you only had the responsibilities, hotels, a
Andre Paradis 9:29
big for salaries, food, right? We made money, put it in our pockets,
Andre Paradis 9:34
and party. That's all we did. We had fun. We dance. We partied.
Andre Paradis 9:37
We worked out with 10 and we play with the ladies like all day long.
Andre Paradis 9:43
So it was here. There's something really interesting about that.
Andre Paradis 9:46
And that's when I discovered this very traditional. I have I didn't
Andre Paradis 9:51
realize how traditional I was until then. So I have to getting
Andre Paradis 9:56
over all the fun it becomes perverted. So And this is a lot of
Andre Paradis:
10:01
reason why celebrities lose their stuff. Because when life is
Andre Paradis:
10:06
easy when life is just fun, in order to continue having fun,
Andre Paradis:
10:10
fun becomes normal. So in order to have fun, you have to up it.
Andre Paradis:
10:15
And then a couple of months later, yeah.
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:17
And that's part of the that's part of the addictive nature of it
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:20
that isn't, you know, you have to keep getting bigger and
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:22
bigger, stronger, push, and whatever it is, it could be
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:26
money, alcohol, drugs, any number of things.
Speaker 2 10:31
All of it lifestyle. Yeah. So you know, like that could get, like,
Andre Paradis:
10:36
the audit, you don't have to have fun. You have to have it.
Andre Paradis:
10:38
It was one of the guys that have been doing the show for
Andre Paradis:
10:41
five years. And I remember looking at him, and I started
Andre Paradis:
10:45
sounding like him. You know, they say stuff like that, like,
Andre Paradis:
10:48
I'm totally into Kevin. And I knew he was good. I knew he
Andre Paradis:
10:51
was screwed for life. This guy was never going
Andre Paradis:
10:53
to be normal again, his reality was
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:55
this epiphany moment, okay, I see myself in
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:58
this guy. I don't like what I see.
Andre Paradis:
11:01
And it turns out that look a more traditional, they thought,
Andre Paradis:
11:05
I want a family and a wife, eventually, if I don't get out of
Andre Paradis:
11:08
here, this will all be impossible, because it will never be able
Andre Paradis:
11:10
to respect a woman again. Because all we see is the same
Andre Paradis:
11:13
type, you know, so I quit. So now I have money. I go, I move.
Andre Paradis:
11:19
I make my way to Los Angeles. I get settled, I get an agent.
Andre Paradis:
11:23
And I'd start auditioning for music videos and movies and
Andre Paradis:
11:26
commercials. That's the business. That's what we do. There's
Andre Paradis:
11:28
a big debt that if you're going to do this for a living, you
Andre Paradis:
11:30
have to be Los Angeles. So I got settle. I started auditioning
Andre Paradis:
11:35
and like I worked in we did this you organize and stuff.
Andre Paradis:
11:38
But this is when within about two years, I got to work with
Andre Paradis:
11:42
Michael Jackson. I got to work with Prince I got to work with Paula Abdul. Two years Apollo with Julio Iglesias and a bunch of people that attended an hour
Dr. Brad Miller:
11:54
Were talking abouth the elite, the biggest days of the biggest
Dr. Brad Miller:
11:56
names. I mean, say that Michael Jackson, do Oh my goodness. Wow.
Andre Paradis:
12:00
Yeah. And then traveled the world because within this in
Andre Paradis:
12:03
that business, you perform and you teach. So if I'm
Andre Paradis:
12:08
going, you know, I was in Thailand for four months,
Andre Paradis:
12:10
I produce and choreograph a show for the biggest pop
Andre Paradis:
12:12
star. That was another channel.
Dr. Brad Miller:
12:15
So you were teaching other dancers, other professional dancers?
Dr. Brad Miller:
12:19
Yeah. Like in Thailand and other places? Is that what I'm understanding.
Andre Paradis:
12:23
around the world, but also when you come back to Los Angeles
Andre Paradis:
12:26
after being on the road with the biggest, you know, Thai
Andre Paradis:
12:30
pop star, like our Janet Jackson here, like this credit to that,
Andre Paradis:
12:34
right? There's this there was with social proof come back
Andre Paradis:
12:36
from working with Michael Jackson, and your class is full,
Andre Paradis:
12:40
because people want to be with a guy who's gonna go to
Andre Paradis:
12:42
Michael Jackson right there. Sure. So the business supplies,
Andre Paradis:
12:47
performing and then teaching, always performing and
Andre Paradis:
12:49
teaching and traveling to perform and or teach.
Dr. Brad Miller:
12:52
and the whole thing is pretty lucrative. And it's
Dr. Brad Miller:
12:55
the high of the lifestyle and if
Andre Paradis:
12:57
Yeah, fantastic. Yeah. I came back in Los Angeles.
Andre Paradis:
13:01
When I was in town. I was I had my own studio demo studio.
Andre Paradis:
13:04
I was I was hired. I was, I was teaching in a few
Andre Paradis:
13:07
studios I've seen like, at one point 14 classes a week,
Andre Paradis:
13:09
which is a lot physically. And I was really quickly
Andre Paradis:
13:15
after I got settled within a few months, I was actually
Andre Paradis:
13:17
looking for my woman. I was done all the crazy stuff.
Andre Paradis:
13:22
I'm 27 years old in empathy for my woman. Okay,
Andre Paradis:
13:25
Radar is going we are going I'm a male teacher are
Andre Paradis:
13:30
surrounded with 45 young beautiful women all day
Andre Paradis:
13:33
long. And they're like, like, I'm the leader. I'm the
Andre Paradis:
13:38
teacher right? There's so options open. So the radar
Andre Paradis:
13:42
just doo doo doo doo doo doo doo looking
Andre Paradis:
13:44
for the one on top of my head.
Dr. Brad Miller:
13:46
I gotcha. Yeah.
Andre Paradis:
13:48
And eventually, my wife walked in the studio. And that was it.
Andre Paradis:
13:56
She came into my class a little bit late and I remember seeing
Andre Paradis:
13:59
her from the corner of my eye and I looked in the mirror I don't
Andre Paradis:
14:02
know who that is. She came around the space stood on my
Andre Paradis:
14:04
right behind a little bit mid room and I turned around
Andre Paradis:
14:12
and that was it. I mean, I can't explain it to you
Dr. Brad Miller:
14:14
so it's something hits you and she has a similar vibe at the moment
Andre Paradis:
14:19
she did not you know and my experience now doing this
Andre Paradis:
14:22
work is men typically know pretty much instantly the marry
Andre Paradis:
14:26
the woman they're going to marry we have a knowing of
Andre Paradis:
14:28
that this intuition like this is her I found her like a vibration I
Andre Paradis:
14:31
don't know how to explain it. Women take typically longer to
Andre Paradis:
14:34
get there because the question differently so I've a lot of lot
Andre Paradis:
14:39
of data on this men know first, this is my wife. This is like ahead
Andre Paradis:
14:42
of time, like meeting her the first time so that's what
Andre Paradis:
14:44
happened to me. And sure enough, this is my woman. I have
Andre Paradis:
14:49
married her. We're still together today. We have two kids and
Dr. Brad Miller:
14:53
Wow. That's awesome. How long have you been
Dr. Brad Miller:
14:55
married at this point? Just give me
Andre Paradis:
14:58
30 years together.
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:00
Wow, that's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome.
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:02
In particular, given the circumstance you came from, I'm
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:05
sure there's lots of folks that you were of your contemporaries
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:08
in the dance world in the entertainment world, whose
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:11
marriages and everything else fell apart? Is that a fair assessment?
Andre Paradis:
15:15
Well, because the business makes you crazy, and the
Andre Paradis:
15:17
business and then the this the amount of space and play
Andre Paradis:
15:21
time, you know, twist your mind, like, if you consider
Andre Paradis:
15:25
syllabaries, the world famous Michael Jackson, Prince
Andre Paradis:
15:28
Paul Abdul, or anybody who's, you know, Whitney Houston,
Andre Paradis:
15:33
you know, all those famous people, they can go anywhere,
Andre Paradis:
15:36
yeah, they can go to the store, they can go to the mall,
Andre Paradis:
15:38
they can go to the amusement park, they can go to nothing.
Andre Paradis:
15:40
So they have to hide in their houses, or go to their friend's
Andre Paradis:
15:45
houses and play pool all day. But that isn't, you know,
Andre Paradis:
15:47
they don't they work twice a year, depending on the kind of,
Andre Paradis:
15:51
you know, if they're doing movies, as opposed to whatever,
Andre Paradis:
15:54
most of them don't work enough to fill up their space.
Andre Paradis:
15:57
So they're standing around having nothing to do with their rich,
Andre Paradis:
16:00
so they're bored, but they can go anywhere. So they go.
Andre Paradis:
16:04
And it's, you know, so I mean, I've seen the males where the
Andre Paradis:
16:07
past is, they go to somebody's house, they start partying,
Andre Paradis:
16:11
they bring the hookers and then it all goes to hell, like
Andre Paradis:
16:13
that's the sort of the lifestyle is dangerous.
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:15
And we know the stories are very, very evident of those big
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:20
names who have crashed and burned. Michael Jackson,
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:23
Whitney Houston, two names you mentioned that are very
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:26
prominently, you know, their lives were crashed. So you found
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:31
you So you found yourself Adria in this world here. And just
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:36
world of entertainment and dancing and all of what this is all about.
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:41
Something must have snapped with you because you ended up
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:45
getting out of that completely and going into a field. You I want
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:49
you to tell the story of how did you end up going from this
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:52
world of a Edson entertainment to automotive, helped me out
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:58
with this. It'll still seem to go together. You ready? You owned
Dr. Brad Miller:
17:02
a auto repair shop or something like that. But let's let's
Dr. Brad Miller:
17:06
take this twist a little bit here.
Andre Paradis:
17:07
nearby. So what happened is my wife, we're married when
Andre Paradis:
17:13
we're both traveling the world because she's a ballerina. So
Andre Paradis:
17:15
she's teaching and dancing as well, you know, different different
Andre Paradis:
17:18
lineup, you know, because she's a ballerina, but so we're both
Andre Paradis:
17:22
traveling, and she's her career and her daughter. She's tall
Andre Paradis:
17:25
and thin and a ballerina, right? That's right. So but eventually
Andre Paradis:
17:28
I want to start a family again, so traditional, didn't know this.
Andre Paradis:
17:32
So when a sort of family and it took us a little while because
Andre Paradis:
17:34
she didn't want to ruin her body, her career, whatever, cool.
Andre Paradis:
17:37
But when we decided to get pregnant and start a family,
Andre Paradis:
17:41
I was not because, again, I raised myself, my family was in there
Andre Paradis:
17:45
and I was not going to be absent. The absence of dad, I was
Andre Paradis:
17:48
not not going to be I was going to be in Europe, when my kids
Andre Paradis:
17:51
are, I'm not, you know, I mean, that was it became it became
Andre Paradis:
17:54
the trigger where I'm not doing this anymore,
Andre Paradis:
17:56
like 15 years of traveling the world.
Dr. Brad Miller:
17:59
So you had a bigger perspective, you could see you could project
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:02
out maybe not everybody can but you could project out family
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:06
kids lifestyle was, what you were doing was not conducive
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:10
to this bigger vision. And I think that's important piece here.
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:13
Your bigger vision is what helped you then to make some
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:16
decisions based on your present circumstances.
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:19
So is that a fair assessment of where you're at?
Andre Paradis:
18:22
That's exactly it, like 15 years when this this stuff is amazing,
Andre Paradis:
18:26
you know, but it sounds glamorous, that it's that you know it
Andre Paradis:
18:30
and so the idea of having children of not gonna be absent
Andre Paradis:
18:33
was gonna be in their in their lives. And by design because my
Andre Paradis:
18:37
own man and my own boss always been so I've just had
Andre Paradis:
18:40
design my life to make that work. And that's where the body
Andre Paradis:
18:42
shop came in. Because I literally, we decided to start
Andre Paradis:
18:47
having, you know, kids, I call my agent, this is okay, so I'm
Andre Paradis:
18:51
not traveling anymore. If you want to, you know, do the work
Andre Paradis:
18:54
in Los Angeles, or I don't like I'm not traveling. I'm not getting
Andre Paradis:
18:56
on the plane. I do local work. Work that out. But and she's like,
Andre Paradis:
19:01
What, are you crazy? I'm like, No, I'm having a baby.
Andre Paradis:
19:05
So now because so my family, one of the things that my
Andre Paradis:
19:09
family passed on to me is there's I have four of three brothers
Andre Paradis:
19:12
is four men in my family. My dad was a car guy, so we were cars.
Dr. Brad Miller:
19:16
All right. So that's part of your background. Okay. I gotcha.
Andre Paradis:
19:20
So especially in Canada, all cars don't exist anymore because
Andre Paradis:
19:24
they rusted out in Los Angeles or everywhere. So I used to
Andre Paradis:
19:26
drool over classic cars everywhere. So the idea of and I had
Andre Paradis:
19:30
a few plastics myself, I started collecting cars when I was
Andre Paradis:
19:33
dancing, and had two maybe three at the time, and that's
Andre Paradis:
19:37
just they just love that stuff. So I decided to open an auto
Andre Paradis:
19:42
body shop to kind of like as a fix for my need to be around
Andre Paradis:
19:48
classic cars and restore them and say, Okay, I saw it. It
Andre Paradis:
19:52
started with the classic cars and it turned out to be there's
Andre Paradis:
19:55
no money in restoring cars. So in a big collision repair shop
Andre Paradis:
19:59
and it'll be a parent that exploded by the way, like,
Andre Paradis:
20:03
as soon as I open the shop like it's loaded.
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:06
So just to clear your bid you you had success and the
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:09
entertainment dance world, now you kind of take a really a
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:12
90 degree or 180 degree turn and go into auto body work and
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:17
restoration. And that succeeds as well. Is that right? And so
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:21
you're sure you're going you're succeeding in both these tracks? Right? Yep. Yep,
Andre Paradis:
20:27
and so much that within a few months, like I forgot
Andre Paradis:
20:30
dancing altogether, there was still time and space for that
Andre Paradis:
20:32
it was not part of my new reality. It was interesting because
Andre Paradis:
20:34
I used to travel the world and go out to work. Now I'm sitting
Andre Paradis:
20:37
in my business before come into me, I don't have to go anywhere.
Andre Paradis:
20:40
Wow. Like what a switch like that was cool. I like that idea
Andre Paradis:
20:43
of traveling again or even doing so and again, we got so busy
Andre Paradis:
20:48
so quick, that I got sucked in and then the machine of it has
Andre Paradis:
20:53
to you know, I had to be present so instantly like what ad
Andre Paradis:
20:57
in a few months. Okay, and that was my new life.
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:59
So your succeeded there. And then you ended up and I just
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:03
needed to get one is to start to move towards what you're
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:06
doing now. And then you you said success as a dancer now
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:11
you've had success as a businessman and automotive repair
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:14
place. And now you are relationship coach. So tell me about
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:20
the shift then from you know, from the car world being a you
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:23
know, a local business owner to now being a relationship coach,
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:26
something had to snap there to something had to shift there as well.
Andre Paradis:
21:31
It's so did it was funny, again, seemingly random, like my life was
Andre Paradis:
21:34
people things lined up in front of me. And without this silly me
Andre Paradis:
21:38
planning it, which is, I still, you know, that's what I call like fate,
Andre Paradis:
21:42
like, it was just the way it was gonna happen and had to
Andre Paradis:
21:44
develop that ways. So because of my brain and my
Andre Paradis:
21:48
curiosity with the human condition, and my own condition,
Andre Paradis:
21:52
I was, since I was 23 years old, I was taking personal
Andre Paradis:
21:54
development workshops. Personally, one after the other
Andre Paradis:
21:58
after the other after the other, like that was the guy in
Andre Paradis:
22:00
a workshop on the weekend. And my friends were like,
Andre Paradis:
22:02
What are you doing? You know, even the beginning? Like
Andre Paradis:
22:05
it was even considered weird. When you mean to get to
Andre Paradis:
22:07
sit in the workshop all weekend. It's so weird, you know,
Andre Paradis:
22:10
money workshops, personal development workshop, like,
Andre Paradis:
22:12
oh, you name it. So that was that's my radar with this.
Andre Paradis:
22:17
This a lot of relationship stuff. Like anything personal
Andre Paradis:
22:19
development always goes back to your relationship with
Andre Paradis:
22:21
whatever it is that you're struggling with, with yourself.
Andre Paradis:
22:24
Anyway, so in 2006, that had the business for six or seven
Andre Paradis:
22:29
years at the time. Still, that guy still that brain
Andre Paradis:
22:32
always inquiring, I ended up in Northern California in
Andre Paradis:
22:35
a 3d workshop about a business workshop networking
Andre Paradis:
22:38
workshop to raise the ceiling on the profit that it was
Andre Paradis:
22:40
making my business. I took it as far as I could.
Andre Paradis:
22:43
I wanted more. Let's go learn. So in San Jose, three days,
Andre Paradis:
22:48
come back on the plane and I met a couple in the workshop.
Andre Paradis:
22:52
So we're sitting again, talking about random or faith and
Andre Paradis:
22:56
there was random was not the girls. The lady says to be
Andre Paradis:
22:59
shoes. What are you doing next weekend? I go next
Andre Paradis:
23:02
weekend I'm off why, she goes, I want to invite you to a workshop. It's on me.
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:10
Of course, that's where you weren't.
Andre Paradis:
23:14
where I went, you know, it's, those can be expensive.
Andre Paradis:
23:17
She's copying me. She's inviting me. It's local, by the airport,
Andre Paradis:
23:21
of course. And then I go away after I agree. I go
Andre Paradis:
23:24
what's the workshop? She goes, it's called understanding women.
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:29
Understanding women all right, right. You've had this
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:33
history of having in intense and a little bit of experience
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:40
with women. That wouldn't have been a common experience
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:42
for a lot of men. Let me put it that way.
Andre Paradis:
23:44
Right. And an ease with this. I always attract it sweet with
Andre Paradis:
23:48
my wife, my wife. Okay, right. So I always attract a sweet
Andre Paradis:
23:52
women that didn't do the crazy stuff. My friends did the yelling,
Andre Paradis:
23:55
screaming the misunderstanding that, you know, like,
Andre Paradis:
23:57
I didn't do any of that I attracted sweet women. And I thought
Andre Paradis:
24:00
I do something. I thought it was me my artistic personality,
Andre Paradis:
24:03
whatever. So now I'm going to spend my weekend in a
Andre Paradis:
24:07
workshop on the same women going, oh, like, what are you
Andre Paradis:
24:12
gonna teach me like, this is right, by the way. So I went into
Andre Paradis:
24:16
a little bit backwards, thinking it was gonna be cute. When I
Andre Paradis:
24:19
walked in, it was foreign to people in the space. And the energy
Andre Paradis:
24:23
I remember thinking, oh, let's not keep this something's going
Andre Paradis:
24:26
on here. Something like intense is going on here. And sure enough,
Andre Paradis:
24:30
sat down. This half half half women, half men which is interesting.
Andre Paradis:
24:34
And the girl next to me the whole time. And at the end of the
Andre Paradis:
24:39
workshop, my brains over the walls completely exploded. I realized
Andre Paradis:
24:43
I knew nothing, nothing. Nothing about women with men.
Andre Paradis:
24:47
I knew nothing about my wife. As a Steinway have two little kids,
Andre Paradis:
24:51
a toddler and a baby. And the realization that I knew nothing
Andre Paradis:
24:57
about how she processed things, how she operates how I wish she
Andre Paradis:
25:00
would motivate her with why she thinks personally all this stuff
Andre Paradis:
25:03
that I could we all have a sense of that, but we don't know why.
Andre Paradis:
25:08
And so when I realized the danger of not knowing that
Andre Paradis:
25:13
I lost my mind, like, all my friends, all my siblings are married
Andre Paradis:
25:16
and divorced twice, three times. One is four times,
Andre Paradis:
25:19
I have my angel, my baby girl, right? My angel with my two kids,
Andre Paradis:
25:25
I'm not going to mess this up, because I didn't know.
Andre Paradis:
25:27
Right for my brain is unthinkable. So this is how I was started, I ended up taking the entire two.
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:33
So you took all these classes, and it's kind of transform
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:36
you and how you view women and, and how that's a big
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:39
part of what you're all about now on your relationship
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:41
coaching Project equinox.net. And so, I want to get a couple
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:46
of things out of you here in terms of what you do now
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:49
and how it relates to our audience, and what their needs
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:52
are. Because we have a lot of people who have messed
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:54
up lives in one way or another divorces or self sabotage
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:00
all kinds of things that go on when you have adversity
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:02
in your life. And I find that there's some things that are
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:05
kind of common that, in your experience, what do you
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:08
think, are some of the actions that you took, I think
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:11
you've named them that helped you to move from a lifestyle
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:14
of destructiveness to one where you're now feel like you're
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:17
doing something that is beneficial to others,
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:20
what are a couple of actions that you took?
Andre Paradis:
26:23
Well, I just, I was always curious, that was just something, I
Andre Paradis:
26:28
was curious. I'm curious about everything. And that kind
Andre Paradis:
26:32
of like, ended up putting me in a position where I discovered
Andre Paradis:
26:35
stuff that was I was passionate about. So when I started doing
Andre Paradis:
26:38
the relationship stuff I used to start it for, make sure that me
Andre Paradis:
26:41
and my wife were going to be okay, that's, that was my only
Andre Paradis:
26:44
reason to do this. Like, I was not gonna be statistic,
Andre Paradis:
26:47
I didn't know, I needed to understand all of this, I didn't
Andre Paradis:
26:49
understand me within this, the reaction, the stuff, we don't
Andre Paradis:
26:53
know this, well, we don't know this really dangerous, I
Andre Paradis:
26:55
can tell you this. Now this all I do for a living like this
Andre Paradis:
26:58
dangerous, what we don't know about each other, and
Andre Paradis:
27:00
how we function in whatever. So that's how that was the
Andre Paradis:
27:04
beginning of it. I became a worship leader for that company
Andre Paradis:
27:07
with a teacher. So that was, Oh, wow. And I've always
Andre Paradis:
27:11
wanted at the back of my head when I was doing personal
Andre Paradis:
27:13
development stuff, I would always look at this, the
Andre Paradis:
27:16
person would find going, you know, I could do this.
Andre Paradis:
27:19
I'd be really good at this. Like I had it, almost like
Andre Paradis:
27:21
a premonition of what was coming.
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:23
So I think you pick up on two actions right now that you did
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:26
here. You were curious, which means you're asking questions,
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:28
you're gonna have a learning mode, about yourself.
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:31
So the curiosity learning mode, and then you also taught,
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:37
you mentioned teaching, and you're dancing and the other
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:40
things in life, and you taught in these workshop areas.
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:43
So you did did those things as well learning and getting back
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:47
or, you know, relearn and return. Some people call that
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:50
and that, that's awesome. Also, it seems to me that when
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:53
the moment came, you, you jump, you actually did something
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:58
about it did let the moment pass by, you know, you moved
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:02
from Canada to the west coast to do some things. You
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:05
had this opportunity to play a lot of people if somebody
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:07
invited you to a workshop, and the plane didn't take, oh,
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:10
who is this weirdo or whatever not do it. You've you did it,
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:13
you did it. So that's, that's awesome. So let's talk a bit
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:17
about kind of go let's go to spiritual level here for a second,
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:20
I've heard you say, in some of our conversations that
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:23
you feel like you have a God sent calling. And so let's
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:27
talk about that for a second. I'd like to think about what do
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:29
you see about what you're doing now in terms of your relationship
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:32
coaching? How does that connect to something bigger than
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:35
itself? Is there any spiritual element to this as any, any
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:39
thing on kind of a metaphysical plane here we're talking about?
Andre Paradis:
28:43
So thank you. Good question. So I was raised Catholic, and
Andre Paradis:
28:47
my parents took it to a level of demandingness like it was
Andre Paradis:
28:53
not even as a kid and all of us had the same thought like
Andre Paradis:
28:55
what the hell is wrong with them? You know, in the name
Andre Paradis:
28:58
of God, they create a lot of destruction within the
Andre Paradis:
28:59
family in the name.
Dr. Brad Miller:
29:01
by all of us you made your brothers and sisters
Dr. Brad Miller:
29:03
have a similar experience is what I'm Understand. Yes. Okay.
Andre Paradis:
29:06
Yeah. All right. Yes, parents were insane with this so religion
Andre Paradis:
29:08
was crazy was dangerous was hurtful was evil in the pain
Andre Paradis:
29:13
that he created, the name of God was insane. Like in the name
Andre Paradis:
29:16
of God, I want to hurt you, because you need to live. And
Andre Paradis:
29:19
so I rejected all of this earlier like the rest of my siblings had.
Andre Paradis:
29:23
So I'm operating through all I can tell you is that we're always
Andre Paradis:
29:28
operating to the good side. Did I mean like the good side
Andre Paradis:
29:33
always pull me like if I don't necessarily believe in God, I
Andre Paradis:
29:36
believe in good and bad. And I'm going to step into the
Andre Paradis:
29:40
side of being good, but myself, the way I operate in the
Andre Paradis:
29:44
world, the way I treat people the way I'm service and
Andre Paradis:
29:47
helpful, just because it resonates with me as the right
Andre Paradis:
29:50
thing to do without any spiritual guidance. However, what
Andre Paradis:
29:54
happened is, the more I trained and the more so when I
Andre Paradis:
29:56
started teaching these people again, same thing people came
Andre Paradis:
29:58
at me at I have a car business, and I'm helping my clients, I
Andre Paradis:
30:03
closed the office door because people are crying in my
Andre Paradis:
30:05
office. I'm the guy that people open up to again. So
Dr. Brad Miller:
30:10
not many people do that with their car guy.
Andre Paradis:
30:13
It's so weird. And they were like the employees so much the
Andre Paradis:
30:16
employees, we know that when the doors closed, somebody's
Andre Paradis:
30:18
crying don't open don't come in, right. So again, so that was,
Andre Paradis:
30:24
again, the opening up of the challenge of like, people need this,
Andre Paradis:
30:27
you're good at this, you have information this and they're
Andre Paradis:
30:30
asking you, you don't have to offer now, and then my
Andre Paradis:
30:33
friends at the same thing. And all of a sudden this machine.
Andre Paradis:
30:36
So the calling was my dad, my dad dies, God within
Andre Paradis:
30:42
this, that was years ago, years, he like over 13 years ago.
Andre Paradis:
30:45
So 14 years ago. Anyway, I'm in Montreal, on on with my
Andre Paradis:
30:51
sister driving to the funeral. And my sister is struggling
Andre Paradis:
30:55
with a marriage. And so here I am. And she's asking questions,
Andre Paradis:
31:00
as she says to be, by the way, at that time, I didn't really
Andre Paradis:
31:02
want to do with this if it was compelled to keep digging and
Andre Paradis:
31:05
learning. And she says to me, this was like a God moment.
Andre Paradis:
31:08
And she says, she was my God, you're
Andre Paradis:
31:10
amazing at this, you should teach this.
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:12
Okay.
Andre Paradis:
31:15
All right. So then it became that moment, sort of a, this that cute,
Andre Paradis:
31:20
I want to do I want to be the workshop leader, I want to teach
Andre Paradis:
31:23
this to the masses. And that was the beginning of probably going off.
Andre Paradis:
31:25
That's how it started. So I had two businesses for a long time
Andre Paradis:
31:29
building this business. As the body shop is flying. So your head,
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:33
you're so you had your aha moment, then you're thinking,
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:36
Okay, this is bigger than my self. Now, your sister kind of
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:41
pushed her button in the sense of, Okay, put her finger on it.
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:44
And now you're doing it, you're teaching it. So let's talk for a
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:48
minute about your, what you did to change what you teach.
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:52
Now, what are some of the things that you teach? I'm talking
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:55
about process now? What are some things you teach in the
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:57
process to be helpful to people? What are? What can people expect to find? If they call upon you to help them?
Andre Paradis:
32:06
Well, what we're like what I said earlier, is, it's where you don't
Andre Paradis:
32:10
know this dangerous is where you don't know this messing you
Andre Paradis:
32:12
up, it's where you don't know, that is a problem. You don't know,
Andre Paradis:
32:16
you know, if you're a man, you don't understand women, you
Andre Paradis:
32:18
don't know why they take things personally, why they're so sensitive,
Andre Paradis:
32:21
why, you know, they they go from being okay, one second
Andre Paradis:
32:24
and not okay, in a second and back to Okay, back to dinner,
Andre Paradis:
32:27
in this way, the cheese gear, and we don't understand that.
Andre Paradis:
32:30
And we get frustrated with that, which makes it a bit worse.
Andre Paradis:
32:33
So it's, again, it's not understanding the mechanism, the operating
Andre Paradis:
32:37
of a female and a male because we're completely different creatures.
Andre Paradis:
32:41
And, and none understanding this, we know we're different,
Andre Paradis:
32:45
but we think we're just a little different. But like, you know,
Andre Paradis:
32:48
John Gray, Mars and Venus, which is one of the guys I've trained
Andre Paradis:
32:51
with, that's the bit that's more like two different freaking
Andre Paradis:
32:55
galaxies with that the same in any way. It's actually we're
Andre Paradis:
32:58
completely will be completely in opposition, but we'll need to
Andre Paradis:
33:02
complement it fit together. So until you understand that we're not
Andre Paradis:
33:06
supposed to be the same. And the beauty of it all is that we're
Andre Paradis:
33:09
not the same, but what I bring to my wife is something I don't,
Andre Paradis:
33:12
she doesn't have and what she brings to me is the part that I
Andre Paradis:
33:15
don't have masculine, feminine, ying yang, right? Leader
Andre Paradis:
33:19
supportive kind of thing. There's, there's a, there's a, there's
Andre Paradis:
33:21
a complimentary of each other's natural essence as
Andre Paradis:
33:25
masculine, feminine. There's a polarity, that is natural,
Andre Paradis:
33:29
like everything in nature is polarized,
Andre Paradis:
33:32
ying yang, black, white magnets, right, positive, negative.
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:35
And so what's so what's your about if I'm understanding that
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:37
Andre is helping men to understand this a little better women,
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:40
women vice versa, and for them to understand each other?
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:43
Because there's a lack of understanding in all these areas,
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:47
people not understanding themselves, historically, not understanding
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:51
each other not understanding or having an appreciation of
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:54
the other gender. And so what's, what's an exercise?
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:58
Or what is something that you do for women, for instance,
Dr. Brad Miller:
34:01
that's helpful to them? What is one thing?
Dr. Brad Miller:
34:03
You help them to find a problem? What do you do to help them?
Andre Paradis:
34:07
So I called it this is a term that was created by Dr. John Gray.
Andre Paradis:
34:11
It's called Gender intelligence. Right? We have like intellectual
Andre Paradis:
34:14
intelligence we have you know, I mean, there's different like,
Andre Paradis:
34:17
emotional intelligence that we do this big. There are popular
Andre Paradis:
34:20
terms. Gender intelligence, I tell I teach both men and women
Andre Paradis:
34:24
if you're a woman, and want to be in a relationship with a
Andre Paradis:
34:26
man, you have to cross the bridge into man world and try
Andre Paradis:
34:30
to understand and really learn what motivates men. Why
Andre Paradis:
34:34
they do what they do, why they tend to be stoic. They'll
Andre Paradis:
34:36
share their feelings. It's not because they're jerks. And because
Andre Paradis:
34:39
they're cold does that because we have no feelings. It's quite
Andre Paradis:
34:41
the opposite. But there's a mechanism and instinctual mechanism
Andre Paradis:
34:44
in place there for protection provision to handle my stuff
Andre Paradis:
34:49
quietly to not be emotional, because emotionally you know, if I'm
Andre Paradis:
34:52
emotional, I lose, I lose myself. So I'm gonna stay on track,
Andre Paradis:
34:55
right? So there's all these instinctual pieces it just the way men
Andre Paradis:
35:02
are wired naturally and to not understand that creates a lot
Andre Paradis:
35:05
of confusion for athletes. So same thing with a man I go if
Andre Paradis:
35:08
you want to be in relationship with a woman, right? Cross the
Andre Paradis:
35:11
bridge to a woman world and go learn why women say I
Andre Paradis:
35:14
need so little I can get it. Why they take everything personally,
Andre Paradis:
35:18
why they get their fingers hurt so easily. Like why is that?
Andre Paradis:
35:21
Again, it's all anthropological work. It's all based in our
Andre Paradis:
35:25
caveman cavewoman in a hunter gatherer with a we
Andre Paradis:
35:28
think we're beyond this, that we're educated evolved and
Dr. Brad Miller:
35:31
Okay, you've used the metaphor of crossing the bridge here,
Dr. Brad Miller:
35:35
go into man world for a woman for him, man go into a
Dr. Brad Miller:
35:37
woman world. What's What's one of those ways that you actually
Dr. Brad Miller:
35:42
take the steps for a man, woman world, for instance,
Andre Paradis:
35:46
I teach them the operating system and a woman what
Andre Paradis:
35:49
instinctively a woman needs to feel safe now, because if
Andre Paradis:
35:52
you're just men don't know this, because we don't have ever
Andre Paradis:
35:55
an awareness of feeling safe in the world needing to be
Andre Paradis:
35:58
safe in the world, need to be connected to each other. Right?
Andre Paradis:
36:01
Men are stoic, and they do well on their own. Women
Andre Paradis:
36:06
need to feel safe in the world and feeling safe awareness,
Andre Paradis:
36:08
connection, connection for me just talking, you know,
Andre Paradis:
36:12
community relationships, that that's what they're looking
Andre Paradis:
36:14
for all the time. So, if if we are stoic and tend to be aloof with this, it hurts their feelings.
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:21
Okay, so, so talking communication is a key to this. So if
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:26
the man is used to being a little bit on the stoic or aloof side,
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:30
to be very intentional about talking, even if he didn't like it that
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:33
much to do it is so part of your hair and you say, What's one
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:37
thing that the woman could do if she was going to man world
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:39
if she wants to try to break through those barriers or get across that bridge?
Andre Paradis:
36:44
Beautiful question, what happens is because we're stalling
Andre Paradis:
36:46
because we don't talk so much, because we can tend to hold
Andre Paradis:
36:49
our feelings back and sort of bury them really just added protection.
Andre Paradis:
36:53
Women think we're shallow women think we don't have feelings
Andre Paradis:
36:56
when we think we're cold. When we think we're disconnected
Andre Paradis:
36:58
when we think we're selfish. That's what it looks like, to a being
Andre Paradis:
37:01
with us to connection to feel safe. We don't need that.
Andre Paradis:
37:05
So not understanding that, you know, women of judgment,
Andre Paradis:
37:08
get frustrated, and they're trying to change him. And that's
Andre Paradis:
37:12
a terrible mistake as he was trying to change the man, you
Andre Paradis:
37:14
don't get the man you don't respect the man, and he's
Dr. Brad Miller:
37:16
just kind of a trigger issue for a lot of men.
Dr. Brad Miller:
37:18
Anyhow, try to change me. You're right.
Andre Paradis:
37:21
You can't it's disrespectful man. No self.
Dr. Brad Miller:
37:28
self respecting, maybe
Andre Paradis:
37:29
Thank you, No self respecting man will stand for being control
Andre Paradis:
37:35
or try somebody to change him. And if you don't get him,
Andre Paradis:
37:37
you know, as women if you don't get him, which means
Andre Paradis:
37:39
you don't understand why he's doing what he's doing and
Andre Paradis:
37:41
decide he's going to have to do it your way, as a woman,
Andre Paradis:
37:44
where you're more comfortable, it falls apart, and men just
Andre Paradis:
37:47
jump off, and she thinks he's a jerk. But you can't do it.
Andre Paradis:
37:51
That's not how it works. This is how you bring him into
Andre Paradis:
37:55
adjusting for you. So that's what I'm teaching, understanding
Andre Paradis:
37:59
the instinctual mechanism in place that how it works,
Andre Paradis:
38:03
and how do you bring out the best in him. So you feel safe
Andre Paradis:
38:06
and connected, he understands why, and you have to
Andre Paradis:
38:08
meet in the middle I call the sweet spot
Andre Paradis:
38:10
where you meet somewhere in the middle.
Dr. Brad Miller:
38:12
So the sweet spots where we're going so Andre,
Dr. Brad Miller:
38:15
who do you serve, and give me an example of a
Dr. Brad Miller:
38:18
person that you've that you have served.
Andre Paradis:
38:21
So both men and women, I have a men's group and my
Andre Paradis:
38:26
women's group, but I, the big world, like life changing
Andre Paradis:
38:30
work is one on one clients, where women come at me
Andre Paradis:
38:34
with injuries and both men and women who have injuries,
Andre Paradis:
38:38
most of us nobody gets out of childhood unscathed.
Andre Paradis:
38:41
So they between the age of five and 11 the formative
Andre Paradis:
38:45
years as you know, this is where we make decision about
Andre Paradis:
38:47
the world, ourselves life and people. And a lot of people
Andre Paradis:
38:51
walk out of childhood with feelings of neglect, abandonment
Andre Paradis:
38:54
and abuse on some level sometimes some people have
Andre Paradis:
38:57
all three all the way up to sexual and you know, whatever.
Andre Paradis:
39:00
So people to hurt people to insure it and we know that
Andre Paradis:
39:04
if a little girl doesn't feel safe in the world, and there's all
Andre Paradis:
39:06
the you know, something even abandonment even
Andre Paradis:
39:10
though there's no physical trauma but abandonment is a
Andre Paradis:
39:12
trauma so little girls who felt abandoned had to man up
Andre Paradis:
39:18
and their feminine gets neglected as they grow up. That's
Andre Paradis:
39:21
just one of the natural again, it's a defense mechanism.
Andre Paradis:
39:24
Young men who don't get to man up No daddy, no role
Andre Paradis:
39:27
model raised by a woman, Mama Bear. Be our cat castrated
Andre Paradis:
39:32
and don't aren't aren't able to step into being masculine,
Andre Paradis:
39:35
which destroys the quality of the license both sides so my
Andre Paradis:
39:39
clients are people who realize the codon loop, right women
Andre Paradis:
39:42
wants relationship but they can't even get a man to date
Andre Paradis:
39:45
them a second time. They can't they can't get in relationship.
Andre Paradis:
39:49
They can't sustain leadership is always the same disaster.
Andre Paradis:
39:52
Then you realize, well, it's always me, right? I'm the
Andre Paradis:
39:55
common denominator. Like I need to find out and that's those of my clients.
Dr. Brad Miller:
39:59
Yeah, this one As they come to you give you an
Dr. Brad Miller:
40:01
example of someone who's come to you, and they're
Dr. Brad Miller:
40:04
in your testimony, give me someone who has had some
Dr. Brad Miller:
40:08
good thing happen out of being going.
Andre Paradis:
40:12
I have a bunch. So one thing you may not know is I officiate
Andre Paradis:
40:15
weddings as well. So before COVID, I made I made for my
Andre Paradis:
40:19
couples. I remember in one and I'm doing one in the end of
Andre Paradis:
40:23
March, march 31. In Vegas, I'm flying to marry one of my
Andre Paradis:
40:26
couples, I'm going to Texas in April, to marry another couple.
Andre Paradis:
40:31
So I have one couple that just got married. So this Candace
Andre Paradis:
40:35
is on the east coast. And she started with me, 14 months
Andre Paradis:
40:39
ago, within four months, she found her husband, understanding
Andre Paradis:
40:44
this whole thing, opening the channel, being feminine,
Andre Paradis:
40:46
being willing to be in a relationship, understanding that
Andre Paradis:
40:48
whole dance for herself for him, you know, bringing the
Andre Paradis:
40:51
best out of each other. He was looking for a wife, you can
Andre Paradis:
40:53
find anybody who was respectful, until she came along
Andre Paradis:
40:57
and understood respect for men, and how to be cherishing
Andre Paradis:
40:59
him was fantastic. So within a year, they got
Andre Paradis:
41:03
married, and now she's pregnant.
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:04
Awesome, awesome. Good news there. So Andre, if
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:08
somebody if there's people out there who are women,
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:11
particularly but women in men and women event who
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:14
resonate with your story, and with what you have touched
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:18
on here about this dynamic between women and men,
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:21
and they want to get on that bridge, at least take a step
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:23
on that bridge that you talked about there.
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:27
What are they going to find if they go to Project Equinox?
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:29
So how can you be helpful to them?
Andre Paradis:
41:31
So I have a gift for you listeners, if you want. Absolutely.
Andre Paradis:
41:35
So so it's kind of twofold give depending on who's listening,
Andre Paradis:
41:39
who wants whatever. So it typically, in podcasts, people
Andre Paradis:
41:43
who show up in podcasts are looking for information.
Andre Paradis:
41:45
But there are people who want listening something like
Andre Paradis:
41:49
this more information. And so people will actually want
Andre Paradis:
41:51
to jump in and work. I mean, there's two different types.
Andre Paradis:
41:54
So I'm inviting your listeners to if you go to my email,
Andre Paradis:
41:58
which is Andrecoachingthenumberone@gmail.com Just email
Andre Paradis:
42:03
me and write in a text in the subject matter, irresistible book,
Andre Paradis:
42:09
I will send them for free. There's a book that I sell called the
Andre Paradis:
42:11
fly for many qualities, high value man, find absolute resistible.
Andre Paradis:
42:16
Awesome, he's an ebook, you have a paperback and you
Andre Paradis:
42:19
could have it like digitally. And I'll just send you for free.
Andre Paradis:
42:22
It's something everybody else has to buy. If somebody is
Andre Paradis:
42:26
more with action driven, wants to actually step in. In the
Andre Paradis:
42:32
topic, again, email me Andre coaching, one at Gmail and
Andre Paradis:
42:35
in in a subject matter just so just right talk now. And I will
Andre Paradis:
42:39
send them a link to my calendar where they can put a
Andre Paradis:
42:43
exploratory call with me for an hour, and we'll talk about
Andre Paradis:
42:45
what's working with the challenge, where they see
Andre Paradis:
42:48
themselves stuck, figure out what they want dream,
Andre Paradis:
42:52
I called it, and then I'll discuss, you know how
Andre Paradis:
42:55
I can help them. That call alone is super.
Dr. Brad Miller:
42:59
Great. Well, that sounds awesome. But the and we'll put
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:04
links to all of this. So your website, Projectequinox.net.
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:08
And the emails are such that you mentioned all that our
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:12
website, DrBradmiller.com. Fascinating story, Andre, just the
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:19
we'd like to talk here on Beyond diversity about kind of the
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:22
wilderness pathway that people go on in order to get to their
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:26
promised life. And that always has its ups and downs, and
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:30
it's highs and lows, but you have a fascinating one to go from
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:33
a difficult childhood and the things that had there and,
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:36
and then to the world of dance and entertainment and
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:40
wild living and that kind of thing, to have an automotive
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:44
shop. And now being a relationship coach in helping to
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:47
kind of nail this or really put some framework on this
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:50
nebulous area of the relationship between men and women
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:52
and understanding the other side. I love that metaphor
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:55
of the bridge, maybe we get more people on that bridge
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:58
to the other side. That can be a helpful thing. So great.
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:01
Well, we appreciate that's that's the mission as you say
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:04
you have a God set calling to do such and we do know this.
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:08
There's a lot of misunderstanding between men and women,
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:11
which leads to all kinds of other stuff. And we want to do
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:14
what we can be do to be helpful in that. Appreciate you
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:18
being with us, my friend. His name is Andre parody. That's
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:22
a P R A D I S. His website is projectequinox.net And he's
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:29
all about coaching and relationship coaching. And he's
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:32
been our guest today on the beyond adversity podcast
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:35
with Dr. Brad Miller. Andre, thank you for being our guest.
You say you have a calling in your life to serve other people.
Dr. Brad Miller 0:03
But in order to get to that calling, you've had to go through a
Dr. Brad Miller 0:05
few things. So to give us a bit of your story about how you came
Dr. Brad Miller 0:12
up, to find yourself where you're at now, through facing some
Dr. Brad Miller 0:16
challenges in your life.
Andre Paradis 0:18
Oh, yes, try to make that concise. This three phase in my life,
Andre Paradis 0:23
this is number three phase of my life. started when I was born
Andre Paradis 0:27
in the wrong family was something I believed that I got to
Andre Paradis 0:30
when I was five years old, it was disconnect with I was a
Andre Paradis 0:34
black sheep. But it was beyond that. It was like not fitting in,
Andre Paradis 0:36
like somebody had made a mistake was very interesting, very
Andre Paradis 0:39
strange. So at five years old, I kind of put my feelings and my
Andre Paradis 0:42
thoughts together and realized, I don't belong here. This is not
Andre Paradis 0:46
my people, you know, kind of weird, very scary, how's that
Andre Paradis 0:49
possible? feeling completely. I was on my own. And so off, I
Andre Paradis 0:55
went with life taking care of myself that way. But what
Andre Paradis 0:59
happened to me is that at that very young age, I became
Andre Paradis 1:02
super aware and pay attention to the world people. How is
Andre Paradis 1:09
it possible right turn to understand my circumstances. By
Andre Paradis 1:11
watching I started observing the world at work, especially
Andre Paradis 1:14
people, I became fascinated with people like the human
Andre Paradis 1:18
condition and how do you turn out like this? Why do you turn
Andre Paradis 1:21
like this and explaining my so that was sort of my radar. My
Andre Paradis 1:25
by beat my brain has been like this since then I'm
Andre Paradis 1:28
watching people behave. Life. What does it mean? How does
Andre Paradis 1:33
it work? Why does this person is successful, this one's not.
Andre Paradis 1:36
So that was sort of how I started. That'll be the way my brain is
Andre Paradis 1:42
wired and what it's looking for. So fast forward a little bit. Sad,
Andre Paradis 1:47
little kid, confused, loner, I get to high school, I went to a private
Andre Paradis 1:51
high school and for physical education program, they had yet
Andre Paradis 1:56
options, you could sign up for different things. And I'm almost 16
Andre Paradis 2:00
years old, and this cute little girl comes up to me and said, Oh, my
Andre Paradis 2:03
God, I'm glad you're here. I want to take ballroom for PE but we have
Andre Paradis 2:07
to sign as a couple. You want to sign up as a member? What?
Andre Paradis 2:11
And I didn't know she knew existed. I was like I said, the invisible
Andre Paradis 2:15
person, right? With this cute little thing, you know, asking me to
Andre Paradis 2:18
dance, but I'm gonna hold it in my arms. But yeah,
Dr. Brad Miller 2:22
Sounds good. Sounded pretty good. And yeah,
Andre Paradis 2:24
it was fantastic. Hey, like, if he was dorable, a little thing.
Andre Paradis 2:30
So a week later, we signed up a week later, we're in class.
Andre Paradis 2:32
And I remember this, like, I'm looking at you right now. And
Andre Paradis 2:34
it was so it's so still vivid. I have her in my arms, just the
Andre Paradis 2:37
bottom class, I think we're learning the Cha Cha, the teachers
Andre Paradis 2:41
on my right. And what, as he starts teaching us the steps, I
Andre Paradis 2:47
like he copy everything instantly. I just almost like I knew this
Andre Paradis 2:51
already. And I just remembered. And I just
Andre Paradis 2:53
remember it was really quite
Dr. Brad Miller 2:55
come to dance, you were a bit of a natural then it was completely,
Andre Paradis 2:58
you know, like, like I said, I felt like I knew all of this. And it just
Andre Paradis 3:02
got to be called and it was instantly. So I will go from the geek
Andre Paradis 3:07
and informants because I'm the guy who hit dance with all the
Andre Paradis 3:09
girls and they all want to dance with me because I'm instantly
Andre Paradis 3:12
sort of know how to whatever. So I go from Geek to star. And
Andre Paradis 3:17
obviously, I'm visible and popular word. So even with a program
Andre Paradis 3:21
to school, we started doing performance in school, every quarter
Andre Paradis 3:25
special events, we were actually outside the school to perform
Andre Paradis 3:28
we still had a small troupe. And I can tell you is that's the only
Andre Paradis 3:33
thing I wanted to do. It lifted my spirit it made me smile the
Andre Paradis 3:36
sad kid was now smiling because that sort of there's something
Andre Paradis 3:39
about moving your body to music, the vibrations of both, like
Andre Paradis 3:43
singers will tell you this they'll sing and hit it no and they start
Andre Paradis 3:46
crying because the you know, like the physiology and the sound
Andre Paradis 3:50
coming together just like it moves the spirit moves the heart
Andre Paradis 3:53
and I experienced that dancing was like coming together
Andre Paradis 3:56
super powerful. So that's all I wanted to do. Like from that
Andre Paradis 3:58
moment on all I want to do is dance because they made
Andre Paradis 4:00
me smile made me happy. It took the depression off my brain.
Andre Paradis 4:04
My parents thought it was insane. I mean, I'm in Montreal,
Andre Paradis 4:07
there's you can make a living at dancing. Okay, how can you
Andre Paradis 4:11
I'm supposed to go to school to be become an architect, but
Andre Paradis 4:13
that none of that will became relevant. I just wanted to breathe
Andre Paradis 4:18
and smile. I just wanted to breathe and feel alive. So I had 19
Andre Paradis 4:22
So I did this for almost four years and 19 and moved to the
Andre Paradis 4:25
West Coast getting away from everyone really, my family first.
Andre Paradis 4:31
And I get to the West Coast Vancouver there's no borough
Andre Paradis 4:34
is everyone on the East Coast. There's none of none other West
Andre Paradis 4:36
Coast is Arthur Murray, which is not what I do. Right. So I
Andre Paradis 4:41
ended up searching some kind of way to incorporate dancing back
Andre Paradis 4:45
in my life and ended up in a jazz class Jazzercise, jazz hands,
Andre Paradis 4:50
which is what I've done for years. Okay. It's very, very different
Andre Paradis 4:54
than conditioning for an hour right? The stretching the conditioning,
Andre Paradis 4:57
the strength building the alignment all this Before you get to dance,
Andre Paradis 5:02
not what I was into, but okay. And so I took class twice a week, and
Andre Paradis 5:07
within three months to get an assistant saying, they gave
Andre Paradis 5:11
me a scholarship where you get to train for free. They see talent in me.
Dr. Brad Miller 5:17
at this dance studio, right? So we're talking about, all right.
Andre Paradis 5:21
Yes. So now become part of the system where I'm one of the
Andre Paradis 5:26
upcoming, whatever potential, you know, okay, that was, again,
Andre Paradis 5:31
it was odd. So in from that moment on, I never paid for any
Andre Paradis 5:35
training. It was studio artist studio after studio, I even ended up
Andre Paradis 5:38
in a ballet studio, because you had to go back to linear base,
Andre Paradis 5:42
the base of ballet is very, very straight, linear, right? The structure
Andre Paradis 5:47
of dancing and your bodies. So I end up in ballet studio, just because
Andre Paradis 5:51
it was a layer that was not quite in place. I got a scholarship there.
Andre Paradis 5:55
It was like, it's ridiculous. So and then within this, again, my brain was
Andre Paradis 5:59
still have to go to school becomes something, even though all I was
Andre Paradis 6:03
wanting to do is dance, and has the door opening up in front of me.
Andre Paradis 6:08
I remember thinking, I think this is what I'm supposed to do. And, well, I thought
Dr. Brad Miller 6:15
You thought you were also the direction this is I'm on track for my life.
Andre Paradis 6:20
Like things kept happening to show me that path. Like, despite
Andre Paradis 6:25
me crying, really, which is interesting. So after a while thinking
Andre Paradis 6:29
like, I love this, it's all I want to do. Financially, I don't know
Andre Paradis 6:32
where it's going to take me. So I'm not able to go to school
Andre Paradis 6:36
at this point. I'm just working as a construction worker. And
Andre Paradis 6:39
I just thought I go to work or go dance or go to work or go
Andre Paradis 6:41
dance and like I said eventually was like, like, I think I should
Andre Paradis 6:44
give this a shot. Everything is lining up to push me in that
Andre Paradis 6:47
direction. And I thought okay, well, let me just try it a couple
Andre Paradis 6:50
of years. And if there's something here, it'll show up, and then
Andre Paradis 6:54
I'll go back to school or something, right, like that's just needed
Andre Paradis 6:57
to try it out. Somehow. It was calling me okay. Well, long
Andre Paradis 7:02
story short, I find myself in Los Angeles on a vacation a couple
Andre Paradis 7:07
of years from there. And I get discovered in a studio, a dance
Andre Paradis 7:13
party with all local dancers, people who do what I want to do for
Andre Paradis 7:16
living in Los Angeles and my girlfriend for two weeks. And either
Andre Paradis 7:20
we get discovered like my own Hollywood story, the guy came
Andre Paradis 7:24
up to me and said You know, I don't know who you are. I've
Andre Paradis 7:27
never seen you before. But you know, I love this national
Andre Paradis 7:30
we're doing and loss of dancer four months ago so
Dr. Brad Miller 7:34
this was this was not an audition where you were purposely going
Dr. Brad Miller 7:37
to some
Andre Paradis 7:38
absolutely not
Dr. Brad Miller 7:38
call out to some Viva show or something like this. You're at a party
Dr. Brad Miller 7:43
somebody says you, boom you're on your way.
Andre Paradis 7:45
Yep. So it gives me the job. And that was my first professional
Andre Paradis 7:49
job and again, I ended up you know, literally staying and
Andre Paradis 7:55
going on the road with that job
Dr. Brad Miller 7:58
when you went on the road unit go on the road with
Dr. Brad Miller 8:00
some pretty big name people eventually did you?
Andre Paradis 8:03
Well that first job was Chippendale so I was actually a
Andre Paradis 8:06
backup dancers for the strippers so I wasn't a stripper though.
Andre Paradis 8:09
I was part of the Shogun service can dance. So there was
Andre Paradis 8:11
four dancers or six strippers, and we actually got on stage
Andre Paradis 8:14
and kind of pumped the shows the show was incredible.
Andre Paradis 8:16
By the way, it was incredible. 2000 women at age 22 shows
Andre Paradis 8:19
and I five days a week, making money making tips. It was
Andre Paradis 8:23
absolutely wild and fun. And it's my first paying job, which
Andre Paradis 8:26
kind of confirm, hey, there's a money here's some money
Andre Paradis 8:29
doing this right so I did this for about a little bit less than a
Andre Paradis 8:34
year and a half in life on the road is not sound glamorous,
Andre Paradis 8:37
but it's not. And also as a dancer, professional dancer, you
Andre Paradis 8:39
have to keep training, you know, being on the road dancing.
Andre Paradis 8:43
I don't for the same show every night kind of numbs you.
Andre Paradis 8:47
Your strength slips your timing slips naturally. And then, you
Andre Paradis 8:51
know, sex, drugs, rock and roll. That's life on the road. So I
Andre Paradis 8:54
remember thinking is this really fun, but after a year, plus a little
Andre Paradis 8:57
bit over a year and a half. And I'm like, I need to go back home.
Andre Paradis 9:00
I need to get back in my life. This is just a job. It's gonna be
Andre Paradis 9:03
nowhere. I'm making money, but it doesn't this doesn't build
Andre Paradis 9:06
anything. Right. I'm gonna get off the road and see what you've
Andre Paradis 9:09
been with tripping nails for five years. How does it help me right?
Dr. Brad Miller 9:14
yeah, that was you kind of hit a wall there. You were not really.
Dr. Brad Miller 9:18
You first was going pretty good. And that while you realize, okay,
Dr. Brad Miller 9:21
is this all there is? Is that what I'm picking up on?
Andre Paradis 9:24
Absolutely. Absolutely. I actually realized how dangerous it
Andre Paradis 9:26
was. Because when you only had the responsibilities, hotels, a
Andre Paradis 9:29
big for salaries, food, right? We made money, put it in our pockets,
Andre Paradis 9:34
and party. That's all we did. We had fun. We dance. We partied.
Andre Paradis 9:37
We worked out with 10 and we play with the ladies like all day long.
Andre Paradis 9:43
So it was here. There's something really interesting about that.
Andre Paradis 9:46
And that's when I discovered this very traditional. I have I didn't
Andre Paradis 9:51
realize how traditional I was until then. So I have to getting
Andre Paradis 9:56
over all the fun it becomes perverted. So And this is a lot of
Andre Paradis:
10:01
reason why celebrities lose their stuff. Because when life is
Andre Paradis:
10:06
easy when life is just fun, in order to continue having fun,
Andre Paradis:
10:10
fun becomes normal. So in order to have fun, you have to up it.
Andre Paradis:
10:15
And then a couple of months later, yeah.
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:17
And that's part of the that's part of the addictive nature of it
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:20
that isn't, you know, you have to keep getting bigger and
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:22
bigger, stronger, push, and whatever it is, it could be
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:26
money, alcohol, drugs, any number of things.
Speaker 2 10:31
All of it lifestyle. Yeah. So you know, like that could get, like,
Andre Paradis:
10:36
the audit, you don't have to have fun. You have to have it.
Andre Paradis:
10:38
It was one of the guys that have been doing the show for
Andre Paradis:
10:41
five years. And I remember looking at him, and I started
Andre Paradis:
10:45
sounding like him. You know, they say stuff like that, like,
Andre Paradis:
10:48
I'm totally into Kevin. And I knew he was good. I knew he
Andre Paradis:
10:51
was screwed for life. This guy was never going
Andre Paradis:
10:53
to be normal again, his reality was
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:55
this epiphany moment, okay, I see myself in
Dr. Brad Miller:
10:58
this guy. I don't like what I see.
Andre Paradis:
11:01
And it turns out that look a more traditional, they thought,
Andre Paradis:
11:05
I want a family and a wife, eventually, if I don't get out of
Andre Paradis:
11:08
here, this will all be impossible, because it will never be able
Andre Paradis:
11:10
to respect a woman again. Because all we see is the same
Andre Paradis:
11:13
type, you know, so I quit. So now I have money. I go, I move.
Andre Paradis:
11:19
I make my way to Los Angeles. I get settled, I get an agent.
Andre Paradis:
11:23
And I'd start auditioning for music videos and movies and
Andre Paradis:
11:26
commercials. That's the business. That's what we do. There's
Andre Paradis:
11:28
a big debt that if you're going to do this for a living, you
Andre Paradis:
11:30
have to be Los Angeles. So I got settle. I started auditioning
Andre Paradis:
11:35
and like I worked in we did this you organize and stuff.
Andre Paradis:
11:38
But this is when within about two years, I got to work with
Andre Paradis:
11:42
Michael Jackson. I got to work with Prince I got to work with Paula Abdul. Two years Apollo with Julio Iglesias and a bunch of people that attended an hour
Dr. Brad Miller:
11:54
Were talking abouth the elite, the biggest days of the biggest
Dr. Brad Miller:
11:56
names. I mean, say that Michael Jackson, do Oh my goodness. Wow.
Andre Paradis:
12:00
Yeah. And then traveled the world because within this in
Andre Paradis:
12:03
that business, you perform and you teach. So if I'm
Andre Paradis:
12:08
going, you know, I was in Thailand for four months,
Andre Paradis:
12:10
I produce and choreograph a show for the biggest pop
Andre Paradis:
12:12
star. That was another channel.
Dr. Brad Miller:
12:15
So you were teaching other dancers, other professional dancers?
Dr. Brad Miller:
12:19
Yeah. Like in Thailand and other places? Is that what I'm understanding.
Andre Paradis:
12:23
around the world, but also when you come back to Los Angeles
Andre Paradis:
12:26
after being on the road with the biggest, you know, Thai
Andre Paradis:
12:30
pop star, like our Janet Jackson here, like this credit to that,
Andre Paradis:
12:34
right? There's this there was with social proof come back
Andre Paradis:
12:36
from working with Michael Jackson, and your class is full,
Andre Paradis:
12:40
because people want to be with a guy who's gonna go to
Andre Paradis:
12:42
Michael Jackson right there. Sure. So the business supplies,
Andre Paradis:
12:47
performing and then teaching, always performing and
Andre Paradis:
12:49
teaching and traveling to perform and or teach.
Dr. Brad Miller:
12:52
and the whole thing is pretty lucrative. And it's
Dr. Brad Miller:
12:55
the high of the lifestyle and if
Andre Paradis:
12:57
Yeah, fantastic. Yeah. I came back in Los Angeles.
Andre Paradis:
13:01
When I was in town. I was I had my own studio demo studio.
Andre Paradis:
13:04
I was I was hired. I was, I was teaching in a few
Andre Paradis:
13:07
studios I've seen like, at one point 14 classes a week,
Andre Paradis:
13:09
which is a lot physically. And I was really quickly
Andre Paradis:
13:15
after I got settled within a few months, I was actually
Andre Paradis:
13:17
looking for my woman. I was done all the crazy stuff.
Andre Paradis:
13:22
I'm 27 years old in empathy for my woman. Okay,
Andre Paradis:
13:25
Radar is going we are going I'm a male teacher are
Andre Paradis:
13:30
surrounded with 45 young beautiful women all day
Andre Paradis:
13:33
long. And they're like, like, I'm the leader. I'm the
Andre Paradis:
13:38
teacher right? There's so options open. So the radar
Andre Paradis:
13:42
just doo doo doo doo doo doo doo looking
Andre Paradis:
13:44
for the one on top of my head.
Dr. Brad Miller:
13:46
I gotcha. Yeah.
Andre Paradis:
13:48
And eventually, my wife walked in the studio. And that was it.
Andre Paradis:
13:56
She came into my class a little bit late and I remember seeing
Andre Paradis:
13:59
her from the corner of my eye and I looked in the mirror I don't
Andre Paradis:
14:02
know who that is. She came around the space stood on my
Andre Paradis:
14:04
right behind a little bit mid room and I turned around
Andre Paradis:
14:12
and that was it. I mean, I can't explain it to you
Dr. Brad Miller:
14:14
so it's something hits you and she has a similar vibe at the moment
Andre Paradis:
14:19
she did not you know and my experience now doing this
Andre Paradis:
14:22
work is men typically know pretty much instantly the marry
Andre Paradis:
14:26
the woman they're going to marry we have a knowing of
Andre Paradis:
14:28
that this intuition like this is her I found her like a vibration I
Andre Paradis:
14:31
don't know how to explain it. Women take typically longer to
Andre Paradis:
14:34
get there because the question differently so I've a lot of lot
Andre Paradis:
14:39
of data on this men know first, this is my wife. This is like ahead
Andre Paradis:
14:42
of time, like meeting her the first time so that's what
Andre Paradis:
14:44
happened to me. And sure enough, this is my woman. I have
Andre Paradis:
14:49
married her. We're still together today. We have two kids and
Dr. Brad Miller:
14:53
Wow. That's awesome. How long have you been
Dr. Brad Miller:
14:55
married at this point? Just give me
Andre Paradis:
14:58
30 years together.
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:00
Wow, that's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome.
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:02
In particular, given the circumstance you came from, I'm
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:05
sure there's lots of folks that you were of your contemporaries
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:08
in the dance world in the entertainment world, whose
Dr. Brad Miller:
15:11
marriages and everything else fell apart? Is that a fair assessment?
Andre Paradis:
15:15
Well, because the business makes you crazy, and the
Andre Paradis:
15:17
business and then the this the amount of space and play
Andre Paradis:
15:21
time, you know, twist your mind, like, if you consider
Andre Paradis:
15:25
syllabaries, the world famous Michael Jackson, Prince
Andre Paradis:
15:28
Paul Abdul, or anybody who's, you know, Whitney Houston,
Andre Paradis:
15:33
you know, all those famous people, they can go anywhere,
Andre Paradis:
15:36
yeah, they can go to the store, they can go to the mall,
Andre Paradis:
15:38
they can go to the amusement park, they can go to nothing.
Andre Paradis:
15:40
So they have to hide in their houses, or go to their friend's
Andre Paradis:
15:45
houses and play pool all day. But that isn't, you know,
Andre Paradis:
15:47
they don't they work twice a year, depending on the kind of,
Andre Paradis:
15:51
you know, if they're doing movies, as opposed to whatever,
Andre Paradis:
15:54
most of them don't work enough to fill up their space.
Andre Paradis:
15:57
So they're standing around having nothing to do with their rich,
Andre Paradis:
16:00
so they're bored, but they can go anywhere. So they go.
Andre Paradis:
16:04
And it's, you know, so I mean, I've seen the males where the
Andre Paradis:
16:07
past is, they go to somebody's house, they start partying,
Andre Paradis:
16:11
they bring the hookers and then it all goes to hell, like
Andre Paradis:
16:13
that's the sort of the lifestyle is dangerous.
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:15
And we know the stories are very, very evident of those big
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:20
names who have crashed and burned. Michael Jackson,
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:23
Whitney Houston, two names you mentioned that are very
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:26
prominently, you know, their lives were crashed. So you found
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:31
you So you found yourself Adria in this world here. And just
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:36
world of entertainment and dancing and all of what this is all about.
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:41
Something must have snapped with you because you ended up
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:45
getting out of that completely and going into a field. You I want
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:49
you to tell the story of how did you end up going from this
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:52
world of a Edson entertainment to automotive, helped me out
Dr. Brad Miller:
16:58
with this. It'll still seem to go together. You ready? You owned
Dr. Brad Miller:
17:02
a auto repair shop or something like that. But let's let's
Dr. Brad Miller:
17:06
take this twist a little bit here.
Andre Paradis:
17:07
nearby. So what happened is my wife, we're married when
Andre Paradis:
17:13
we're both traveling the world because she's a ballerina. So
Andre Paradis:
17:15
she's teaching and dancing as well, you know, different different
Andre Paradis:
17:18
lineup, you know, because she's a ballerina, but so we're both
Andre Paradis:
17:22
traveling, and she's her career and her daughter. She's tall
Andre Paradis:
17:25
and thin and a ballerina, right? That's right. So but eventually
Andre Paradis:
17:28
I want to start a family again, so traditional, didn't know this.
Andre Paradis:
17:32
So when a sort of family and it took us a little while because
Andre Paradis:
17:34
she didn't want to ruin her body, her career, whatever, cool.
Andre Paradis:
17:37
But when we decided to get pregnant and start a family,
Andre Paradis:
17:41
I was not because, again, I raised myself, my family was in there
Andre Paradis:
17:45
and I was not going to be absent. The absence of dad, I was
Andre Paradis:
17:48
not not going to be I was going to be in Europe, when my kids
Andre Paradis:
17:51
are, I'm not, you know, I mean, that was it became it became
Andre Paradis:
17:54
the trigger where I'm not doing this anymore,
Andre Paradis:
17:56
like 15 years of traveling the world.
Dr. Brad Miller:
17:59
So you had a bigger perspective, you could see you could project
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:02
out maybe not everybody can but you could project out family
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:06
kids lifestyle was, what you were doing was not conducive
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:10
to this bigger vision. And I think that's important piece here.
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:13
Your bigger vision is what helped you then to make some
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:16
decisions based on your present circumstances.
Dr. Brad Miller:
18:19
So is that a fair assessment of where you're at?
Andre Paradis:
18:22
That's exactly it, like 15 years when this this stuff is amazing,
Andre Paradis:
18:26
you know, but it sounds glamorous, that it's that you know it
Andre Paradis:
18:30
and so the idea of having children of not gonna be absent
Andre Paradis:
18:33
was gonna be in their in their lives. And by design because my
Andre Paradis:
18:37
own man and my own boss always been so I've just had
Andre Paradis:
18:40
design my life to make that work. And that's where the body
Andre Paradis:
18:42
shop came in. Because I literally, we decided to start
Andre Paradis:
18:47
having, you know, kids, I call my agent, this is okay, so I'm
Andre Paradis:
18:51
not traveling anymore. If you want to, you know, do the work
Andre Paradis:
18:54
in Los Angeles, or I don't like I'm not traveling. I'm not getting
Andre Paradis:
18:56
on the plane. I do local work. Work that out. But and she's like,
Andre Paradis:
19:01
What, are you crazy? I'm like, No, I'm having a baby.
Andre Paradis:
19:05
So now because so my family, one of the things that my
Andre Paradis:
19:09
family passed on to me is there's I have four of three brothers
Andre Paradis:
19:12
is four men in my family. My dad was a car guy, so we were cars.
Dr. Brad Miller:
19:16
All right. So that's part of your background. Okay. I gotcha.
Andre Paradis:
19:20
So especially in Canada, all cars don't exist anymore because
Andre Paradis:
19:24
they rusted out in Los Angeles or everywhere. So I used to
Andre Paradis:
19:26
drool over classic cars everywhere. So the idea of and I had
Andre Paradis:
19:30
a few plastics myself, I started collecting cars when I was
Andre Paradis:
19:33
dancing, and had two maybe three at the time, and that's
Andre Paradis:
19:37
just they just love that stuff. So I decided to open an auto
Andre Paradis:
19:42
body shop to kind of like as a fix for my need to be around
Andre Paradis:
19:48
classic cars and restore them and say, Okay, I saw it. It
Andre Paradis:
19:52
started with the classic cars and it turned out to be there's
Andre Paradis:
19:55
no money in restoring cars. So in a big collision repair shop
Andre Paradis:
19:59
and it'll be a parent that exploded by the way, like,
Andre Paradis:
20:03
as soon as I open the shop like it's loaded.
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:06
So just to clear your bid you you had success and the
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:09
entertainment dance world, now you kind of take a really a
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:12
90 degree or 180 degree turn and go into auto body work and
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:17
restoration. And that succeeds as well. Is that right? And so
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:21
you're sure you're going you're succeeding in both these tracks? Right? Yep. Yep,
Andre Paradis:
20:27
and so much that within a few months, like I forgot
Andre Paradis:
20:30
dancing altogether, there was still time and space for that
Andre Paradis:
20:32
it was not part of my new reality. It was interesting because
Andre Paradis:
20:34
I used to travel the world and go out to work. Now I'm sitting
Andre Paradis:
20:37
in my business before come into me, I don't have to go anywhere.
Andre Paradis:
20:40
Wow. Like what a switch like that was cool. I like that idea
Andre Paradis:
20:43
of traveling again or even doing so and again, we got so busy
Andre Paradis:
20:48
so quick, that I got sucked in and then the machine of it has
Andre Paradis:
20:53
to you know, I had to be present so instantly like what ad
Andre Paradis:
20:57
in a few months. Okay, and that was my new life.
Dr. Brad Miller:
20:59
So your succeeded there. And then you ended up and I just
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:03
needed to get one is to start to move towards what you're
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:06
doing now. And then you you said success as a dancer now
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:11
you've had success as a businessman and automotive repair
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:14
place. And now you are relationship coach. So tell me about
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:20
the shift then from you know, from the car world being a you
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:23
know, a local business owner to now being a relationship coach,
Dr. Brad Miller:
21:26
something had to snap there to something had to shift there as well.
Andre Paradis:
21:31
It's so did it was funny, again, seemingly random, like my life was
Andre Paradis:
21:34
people things lined up in front of me. And without this silly me
Andre Paradis:
21:38
planning it, which is, I still, you know, that's what I call like fate,
Andre Paradis:
21:42
like, it was just the way it was gonna happen and had to
Andre Paradis:
21:44
develop that ways. So because of my brain and my
Andre Paradis:
21:48
curiosity with the human condition, and my own condition,
Andre Paradis:
21:52
I was, since I was 23 years old, I was taking personal
Andre Paradis:
21:54
development workshops. Personally, one after the other
Andre Paradis:
21:58
after the other after the other, like that was the guy in
Andre Paradis:
22:00
a workshop on the weekend. And my friends were like,
Andre Paradis:
22:02
What are you doing? You know, even the beginning? Like
Andre Paradis:
22:05
it was even considered weird. When you mean to get to
Andre Paradis:
22:07
sit in the workshop all weekend. It's so weird, you know,
Andre Paradis:
22:10
money workshops, personal development workshop, like,
Andre Paradis:
22:12
oh, you name it. So that was that's my radar with this.
Andre Paradis:
22:17
This a lot of relationship stuff. Like anything personal
Andre Paradis:
22:19
development always goes back to your relationship with
Andre Paradis:
22:21
whatever it is that you're struggling with, with yourself.
Andre Paradis:
22:24
Anyway, so in 2006, that had the business for six or seven
Andre Paradis:
22:29
years at the time. Still, that guy still that brain
Andre Paradis:
22:32
always inquiring, I ended up in Northern California in
Andre Paradis:
22:35
a 3d workshop about a business workshop networking
Andre Paradis:
22:38
workshop to raise the ceiling on the profit that it was
Andre Paradis:
22:40
making my business. I took it as far as I could.
Andre Paradis:
22:43
I wanted more. Let's go learn. So in San Jose, three days,
Andre Paradis:
22:48
come back on the plane and I met a couple in the workshop.
Andre Paradis:
22:52
So we're sitting again, talking about random or faith and
Andre Paradis:
22:56
there was random was not the girls. The lady says to be
Andre Paradis:
22:59
shoes. What are you doing next weekend? I go next
Andre Paradis:
23:02
weekend I'm off why, she goes, I want to invite you to a workshop. It's on me.
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:10
Of course, that's where you weren't.
Andre Paradis:
23:14
where I went, you know, it's, those can be expensive.
Andre Paradis:
23:17
She's copying me. She's inviting me. It's local, by the airport,
Andre Paradis:
23:21
of course. And then I go away after I agree. I go
Andre Paradis:
23:24
what's the workshop? She goes, it's called understanding women.
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:29
Understanding women all right, right. You've had this
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:33
history of having in intense and a little bit of experience
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:40
with women. That wouldn't have been a common experience
Dr. Brad Miller:
23:42
for a lot of men. Let me put it that way.
Andre Paradis:
23:44
Right. And an ease with this. I always attract it sweet with
Andre Paradis:
23:48
my wife, my wife. Okay, right. So I always attract a sweet
Andre Paradis:
23:52
women that didn't do the crazy stuff. My friends did the yelling,
Andre Paradis:
23:55
screaming the misunderstanding that, you know, like,
Andre Paradis:
23:57
I didn't do any of that I attracted sweet women. And I thought
Andre Paradis:
24:00
I do something. I thought it was me my artistic personality,
Andre Paradis:
24:03
whatever. So now I'm going to spend my weekend in a
Andre Paradis:
24:07
workshop on the same women going, oh, like, what are you
Andre Paradis:
24:12
gonna teach me like, this is right, by the way. So I went into
Andre Paradis:
24:16
a little bit backwards, thinking it was gonna be cute. When I
Andre Paradis:
24:19
walked in, it was foreign to people in the space. And the energy
Andre Paradis:
24:23
I remember thinking, oh, let's not keep this something's going
Andre Paradis:
24:26
on here. Something like intense is going on here. And sure enough,
Andre Paradis:
24:30
sat down. This half half half women, half men which is interesting.
Andre Paradis:
24:34
And the girl next to me the whole time. And at the end of the
Andre Paradis:
24:39
workshop, my brains over the walls completely exploded. I realized
Andre Paradis:
24:43
I knew nothing, nothing. Nothing about women with men.
Andre Paradis:
24:47
I knew nothing about my wife. As a Steinway have two little kids,
Andre Paradis:
24:51
a toddler and a baby. And the realization that I knew nothing
Andre Paradis:
24:57
about how she processed things, how she operates how I wish she
Andre Paradis:
25:00
would motivate her with why she thinks personally all this stuff
Andre Paradis:
25:03
that I could we all have a sense of that, but we don't know why.
Andre Paradis:
25:08
And so when I realized the danger of not knowing that
Andre Paradis:
25:13
I lost my mind, like, all my friends, all my siblings are married
Andre Paradis:
25:16
and divorced twice, three times. One is four times,
Andre Paradis:
25:19
I have my angel, my baby girl, right? My angel with my two kids,
Andre Paradis:
25:25
I'm not going to mess this up, because I didn't know.
Andre Paradis:
25:27
Right for my brain is unthinkable. So this is how I was started, I ended up taking the entire two.
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:33
So you took all these classes, and it's kind of transform
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:36
you and how you view women and, and how that's a big
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:39
part of what you're all about now on your relationship
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:41
coaching Project equinox.net. And so, I want to get a couple
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:46
of things out of you here in terms of what you do now
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:49
and how it relates to our audience, and what their needs
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:52
are. Because we have a lot of people who have messed
Dr. Brad Miller:
25:54
up lives in one way or another divorces or self sabotage
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:00
all kinds of things that go on when you have adversity
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:02
in your life. And I find that there's some things that are
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:05
kind of common that, in your experience, what do you
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:08
think, are some of the actions that you took, I think
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:11
you've named them that helped you to move from a lifestyle
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:14
of destructiveness to one where you're now feel like you're
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:17
doing something that is beneficial to others,
Dr. Brad Miller:
26:20
what are a couple of actions that you took?
Andre Paradis:
26:23
Well, I just, I was always curious, that was just something, I
Andre Paradis:
26:28
was curious. I'm curious about everything. And that kind
Andre Paradis:
26:32
of like, ended up putting me in a position where I discovered
Andre Paradis:
26:35
stuff that was I was passionate about. So when I started doing
Andre Paradis:
26:38
the relationship stuff I used to start it for, make sure that me
Andre Paradis:
26:41
and my wife were going to be okay, that's, that was my only
Andre Paradis:
26:44
reason to do this. Like, I was not gonna be statistic,
Andre Paradis:
26:47
I didn't know, I needed to understand all of this, I didn't
Andre Paradis:
26:49
understand me within this, the reaction, the stuff, we don't
Andre Paradis:
26:53
know this, well, we don't know this really dangerous, I
Andre Paradis:
26:55
can tell you this. Now this all I do for a living like this
Andre Paradis:
26:58
dangerous, what we don't know about each other, and
Andre Paradis:
27:00
how we function in whatever. So that's how that was the
Andre Paradis:
27:04
beginning of it. I became a worship leader for that company
Andre Paradis:
27:07
with a teacher. So that was, Oh, wow. And I've always
Andre Paradis:
27:11
wanted at the back of my head when I was doing personal
Andre Paradis:
27:13
development stuff, I would always look at this, the
Andre Paradis:
27:16
person would find going, you know, I could do this.
Andre Paradis:
27:19
I'd be really good at this. Like I had it, almost like
Andre Paradis:
27:21
a premonition of what was coming.
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:23
So I think you pick up on two actions right now that you did
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:26
here. You were curious, which means you're asking questions,
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:28
you're gonna have a learning mode, about yourself.
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:31
So the curiosity learning mode, and then you also taught,
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:37
you mentioned teaching, and you're dancing and the other
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:40
things in life, and you taught in these workshop areas.
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:43
So you did did those things as well learning and getting back
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:47
or, you know, relearn and return. Some people call that
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:50
and that, that's awesome. Also, it seems to me that when
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:53
the moment came, you, you jump, you actually did something
Dr. Brad Miller:
27:58
about it did let the moment pass by, you know, you moved
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:02
from Canada to the west coast to do some things. You
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:05
had this opportunity to play a lot of people if somebody
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:07
invited you to a workshop, and the plane didn't take, oh,
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:10
who is this weirdo or whatever not do it. You've you did it,
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:13
you did it. So that's, that's awesome. So let's talk a bit
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:17
about kind of go let's go to spiritual level here for a second,
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:20
I've heard you say, in some of our conversations that
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:23
you feel like you have a God sent calling. And so let's
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:27
talk about that for a second. I'd like to think about what do
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:29
you see about what you're doing now in terms of your relationship
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:32
coaching? How does that connect to something bigger than
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:35
itself? Is there any spiritual element to this as any, any
Dr. Brad Miller:
28:39
thing on kind of a metaphysical plane here we're talking about?
Andre Paradis:
28:43
So thank you. Good question. So I was raised Catholic, and
Andre Paradis:
28:47
my parents took it to a level of demandingness like it was
Andre Paradis:
28:53
not even as a kid and all of us had the same thought like
Andre Paradis:
28:55
what the hell is wrong with them? You know, in the name
Andre Paradis:
28:58
of God, they create a lot of destruction within the
Andre Paradis:
28:59
family in the name.
Dr. Brad Miller:
29:01
by all of us you made your brothers and sisters
Dr. Brad Miller:
29:03
have a similar experience is what I'm Understand. Yes. Okay.
Andre Paradis:
29:06
Yeah. All right. Yes, parents were insane with this so religion
Andre Paradis:
29:08
was crazy was dangerous was hurtful was evil in the pain
Andre Paradis:
29:13
that he created, the name of God was insane. Like in the name
Andre Paradis:
29:16
of God, I want to hurt you, because you need to live. And
Andre Paradis:
29:19
so I rejected all of this earlier like the rest of my siblings had.
Andre Paradis:
29:23
So I'm operating through all I can tell you is that we're always
Andre Paradis:
29:28
operating to the good side. Did I mean like the good side
Andre Paradis:
29:33
always pull me like if I don't necessarily believe in God, I
Andre Paradis:
29:36
believe in good and bad. And I'm going to step into the
Andre Paradis:
29:40
side of being good, but myself, the way I operate in the
Andre Paradis:
29:44
world, the way I treat people the way I'm service and
Andre Paradis:
29:47
helpful, just because it resonates with me as the right
Andre Paradis:
29:50
thing to do without any spiritual guidance. However, what
Andre Paradis:
29:54
happened is, the more I trained and the more so when I
Andre Paradis:
29:56
started teaching these people again, same thing people came
Andre Paradis:
29:58
at me at I have a car business, and I'm helping my clients, I
Andre Paradis:
30:03
closed the office door because people are crying in my
Andre Paradis:
30:05
office. I'm the guy that people open up to again. So
Dr. Brad Miller:
30:10
not many people do that with their car guy.
Andre Paradis:
30:13
It's so weird. And they were like the employees so much the
Andre Paradis:
30:16
employees, we know that when the doors closed, somebody's
Andre Paradis:
30:18
crying don't open don't come in, right. So again, so that was,
Andre Paradis:
30:24
again, the opening up of the challenge of like, people need this,
Andre Paradis:
30:27
you're good at this, you have information this and they're
Andre Paradis:
30:30
asking you, you don't have to offer now, and then my
Andre Paradis:
30:33
friends at the same thing. And all of a sudden this machine.
Andre Paradis:
30:36
So the calling was my dad, my dad dies, God within
Andre Paradis:
30:42
this, that was years ago, years, he like over 13 years ago.
Andre Paradis:
30:45
So 14 years ago. Anyway, I'm in Montreal, on on with my
Andre Paradis:
30:51
sister driving to the funeral. And my sister is struggling
Andre Paradis:
30:55
with a marriage. And so here I am. And she's asking questions,
Andre Paradis:
31:00
as she says to be, by the way, at that time, I didn't really
Andre Paradis:
31:02
want to do with this if it was compelled to keep digging and
Andre Paradis:
31:05
learning. And she says to me, this was like a God moment.
Andre Paradis:
31:08
And she says, she was my God, you're
Andre Paradis:
31:10
amazing at this, you should teach this.
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:12
Okay.
Andre Paradis:
31:15
All right. So then it became that moment, sort of a, this that cute,
Andre Paradis:
31:20
I want to do I want to be the workshop leader, I want to teach
Andre Paradis:
31:23
this to the masses. And that was the beginning of probably going off.
Andre Paradis:
31:25
That's how it started. So I had two businesses for a long time
Andre Paradis:
31:29
building this business. As the body shop is flying. So your head,
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:33
you're so you had your aha moment, then you're thinking,
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:36
Okay, this is bigger than my self. Now, your sister kind of
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:41
pushed her button in the sense of, Okay, put her finger on it.
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:44
And now you're doing it, you're teaching it. So let's talk for a
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:48
minute about your, what you did to change what you teach.
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:52
Now, what are some of the things that you teach? I'm talking
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:55
about process now? What are some things you teach in the
Dr. Brad Miller:
31:57
process to be helpful to people? What are? What can people expect to find? If they call upon you to help them?
Andre Paradis:
32:06
Well, what we're like what I said earlier, is, it's where you don't
Andre Paradis:
32:10
know this dangerous is where you don't know this messing you
Andre Paradis:
32:12
up, it's where you don't know, that is a problem. You don't know,
Andre Paradis:
32:16
you know, if you're a man, you don't understand women, you
Andre Paradis:
32:18
don't know why they take things personally, why they're so sensitive,
Andre Paradis:
32:21
why, you know, they they go from being okay, one second
Andre Paradis:
32:24
and not okay, in a second and back to Okay, back to dinner,
Andre Paradis:
32:27
in this way, the cheese gear, and we don't understand that.
Andre Paradis:
32:30
And we get frustrated with that, which makes it a bit worse.
Andre Paradis:
32:33
So it's, again, it's not understanding the mechanism, the operating
Andre Paradis:
32:37
of a female and a male because we're completely different creatures.
Andre Paradis:
32:41
And, and none understanding this, we know we're different,
Andre Paradis:
32:45
but we think we're just a little different. But like, you know,
Andre Paradis:
32:48
John Gray, Mars and Venus, which is one of the guys I've trained
Andre Paradis:
32:51
with, that's the bit that's more like two different freaking
Andre Paradis:
32:55
galaxies with that the same in any way. It's actually we're
Andre Paradis:
32:58
completely will be completely in opposition, but we'll need to
Andre Paradis:
33:02
complement it fit together. So until you understand that we're not
Andre Paradis:
33:06
supposed to be the same. And the beauty of it all is that we're
Andre Paradis:
33:09
not the same, but what I bring to my wife is something I don't,
Andre Paradis:
33:12
she doesn't have and what she brings to me is the part that I
Andre Paradis:
33:15
don't have masculine, feminine, ying yang, right? Leader
Andre Paradis:
33:19
supportive kind of thing. There's, there's a, there's a, there's
Andre Paradis:
33:21
a complimentary of each other's natural essence as
Andre Paradis:
33:25
masculine, feminine. There's a polarity, that is natural,
Andre Paradis:
33:29
like everything in nature is polarized,
Andre Paradis:
33:32
ying yang, black, white magnets, right, positive, negative.
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:35
And so what's so what's your about if I'm understanding that
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:37
Andre is helping men to understand this a little better women,
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:40
women vice versa, and for them to understand each other?
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:43
Because there's a lack of understanding in all these areas,
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:47
people not understanding themselves, historically, not understanding
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:51
each other not understanding or having an appreciation of
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:54
the other gender. And so what's, what's an exercise?
Dr. Brad Miller:
33:58
Or what is something that you do for women, for instance,
Dr. Brad Miller:
34:01
that's helpful to them? What is one thing?
Dr. Brad Miller:
34:03
You help them to find a problem? What do you do to help them?
Andre Paradis:
34:07
So I called it this is a term that was created by Dr. John Gray.
Andre Paradis:
34:11
It's called Gender intelligence. Right? We have like intellectual
Andre Paradis:
34:14
intelligence we have you know, I mean, there's different like,
Andre Paradis:
34:17
emotional intelligence that we do this big. There are popular
Andre Paradis:
34:20
terms. Gender intelligence, I tell I teach both men and women
Andre Paradis:
34:24
if you're a woman, and want to be in a relationship with a
Andre Paradis:
34:26
man, you have to cross the bridge into man world and try
Andre Paradis:
34:30
to understand and really learn what motivates men. Why
Andre Paradis:
34:34
they do what they do, why they tend to be stoic. They'll
Andre Paradis:
34:36
share their feelings. It's not because they're jerks. And because
Andre Paradis:
34:39
they're cold does that because we have no feelings. It's quite
Andre Paradis:
34:41
the opposite. But there's a mechanism and instinctual mechanism
Andre Paradis:
34:44
in place there for protection provision to handle my stuff
Andre Paradis:
34:49
quietly to not be emotional, because emotionally you know, if I'm
Andre Paradis:
34:52
emotional, I lose, I lose myself. So I'm gonna stay on track,
Andre Paradis:
34:55
right? So there's all these instinctual pieces it just the way men
Andre Paradis:
35:02
are wired naturally and to not understand that creates a lot
Andre Paradis:
35:05
of confusion for athletes. So same thing with a man I go if
Andre Paradis:
35:08
you want to be in relationship with a woman, right? Cross the
Andre Paradis:
35:11
bridge to a woman world and go learn why women say I
Andre Paradis:
35:14
need so little I can get it. Why they take everything personally,
Andre Paradis:
35:18
why they get their fingers hurt so easily. Like why is that?
Andre Paradis:
35:21
Again, it's all anthropological work. It's all based in our
Andre Paradis:
35:25
caveman cavewoman in a hunter gatherer with a we
Andre Paradis:
35:28
think we're beyond this, that we're educated evolved and
Dr. Brad Miller:
35:31
Okay, you've used the metaphor of crossing the bridge here,
Dr. Brad Miller:
35:35
go into man world for a woman for him, man go into a
Dr. Brad Miller:
35:37
woman world. What's What's one of those ways that you actually
Dr. Brad Miller:
35:42
take the steps for a man, woman world, for instance,
Andre Paradis:
35:46
I teach them the operating system and a woman what
Andre Paradis:
35:49
instinctively a woman needs to feel safe now, because if
Andre Paradis:
35:52
you're just men don't know this, because we don't have ever
Andre Paradis:
35:55
an awareness of feeling safe in the world needing to be
Andre Paradis:
35:58
safe in the world, need to be connected to each other. Right?
Andre Paradis:
36:01
Men are stoic, and they do well on their own. Women
Andre Paradis:
36:06
need to feel safe in the world and feeling safe awareness,
Andre Paradis:
36:08
connection, connection for me just talking, you know,
Andre Paradis:
36:12
community relationships, that that's what they're looking
Andre Paradis:
36:14
for all the time. So, if if we are stoic and tend to be aloof with this, it hurts their feelings.
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:21
Okay, so, so talking communication is a key to this. So if
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:26
the man is used to being a little bit on the stoic or aloof side,
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:30
to be very intentional about talking, even if he didn't like it that
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:33
much to do it is so part of your hair and you say, What's one
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:37
thing that the woman could do if she was going to man world
Dr. Brad Miller:
36:39
if she wants to try to break through those barriers or get across that bridge?
Andre Paradis:
36:44
Beautiful question, what happens is because we're stalling
Andre Paradis:
36:46
because we don't talk so much, because we can tend to hold
Andre Paradis:
36:49
our feelings back and sort of bury them really just added protection.
Andre Paradis:
36:53
Women think we're shallow women think we don't have feelings
Andre Paradis:
36:56
when we think we're cold. When we think we're disconnected
Andre Paradis:
36:58
when we think we're selfish. That's what it looks like, to a being
Andre Paradis:
37:01
with us to connection to feel safe. We don't need that.
Andre Paradis:
37:05
So not understanding that, you know, women of judgment,
Andre Paradis:
37:08
get frustrated, and they're trying to change him. And that's
Andre Paradis:
37:12
a terrible mistake as he was trying to change the man, you
Andre Paradis:
37:14
don't get the man you don't respect the man, and he's
Dr. Brad Miller:
37:16
just kind of a trigger issue for a lot of men.
Dr. Brad Miller:
37:18
Anyhow, try to change me. You're right.
Andre Paradis:
37:21
You can't it's disrespectful man. No self.
Dr. Brad Miller:
37:28
self respecting, maybe
Andre Paradis:
37:29
Thank you, No self respecting man will stand for being control
Andre Paradis:
37:35
or try somebody to change him. And if you don't get him,
Andre Paradis:
37:37
you know, as women if you don't get him, which means
Andre Paradis:
37:39
you don't understand why he's doing what he's doing and
Andre Paradis:
37:41
decide he's going to have to do it your way, as a woman,
Andre Paradis:
37:44
where you're more comfortable, it falls apart, and men just
Andre Paradis:
37:47
jump off, and she thinks he's a jerk. But you can't do it.
Andre Paradis:
37:51
That's not how it works. This is how you bring him into
Andre Paradis:
37:55
adjusting for you. So that's what I'm teaching, understanding
Andre Paradis:
37:59
the instinctual mechanism in place that how it works,
Andre Paradis:
38:03
and how do you bring out the best in him. So you feel safe
Andre Paradis:
38:06
and connected, he understands why, and you have to
Andre Paradis:
38:08
meet in the middle I call the sweet spot
Andre Paradis:
38:10
where you meet somewhere in the middle.
Dr. Brad Miller:
38:12
So the sweet spots where we're going so Andre,
Dr. Brad Miller:
38:15
who do you serve, and give me an example of a
Dr. Brad Miller:
38:18
person that you've that you have served.
Andre Paradis:
38:21
So both men and women, I have a men's group and my
Andre Paradis:
38:26
women's group, but I, the big world, like life changing
Andre Paradis:
38:30
work is one on one clients, where women come at me
Andre Paradis:
38:34
with injuries and both men and women who have injuries,
Andre Paradis:
38:38
most of us nobody gets out of childhood unscathed.
Andre Paradis:
38:41
So they between the age of five and 11 the formative
Andre Paradis:
38:45
years as you know, this is where we make decision about
Andre Paradis:
38:47
the world, ourselves life and people. And a lot of people
Andre Paradis:
38:51
walk out of childhood with feelings of neglect, abandonment
Andre Paradis:
38:54
and abuse on some level sometimes some people have
Andre Paradis:
38:57
all three all the way up to sexual and you know, whatever.
Andre Paradis:
39:00
So people to hurt people to insure it and we know that
Andre Paradis:
39:04
if a little girl doesn't feel safe in the world, and there's all
Andre Paradis:
39:06
the you know, something even abandonment even
Andre Paradis:
39:10
though there's no physical trauma but abandonment is a
Andre Paradis:
39:12
trauma so little girls who felt abandoned had to man up
Andre Paradis:
39:18
and their feminine gets neglected as they grow up. That's
Andre Paradis:
39:21
just one of the natural again, it's a defense mechanism.
Andre Paradis:
39:24
Young men who don't get to man up No daddy, no role
Andre Paradis:
39:27
model raised by a woman, Mama Bear. Be our cat castrated
Andre Paradis:
39:32
and don't aren't aren't able to step into being masculine,
Andre Paradis:
39:35
which destroys the quality of the license both sides so my
Andre Paradis:
39:39
clients are people who realize the codon loop, right women
Andre Paradis:
39:42
wants relationship but they can't even get a man to date
Andre Paradis:
39:45
them a second time. They can't they can't get in relationship.
Andre Paradis:
39:49
They can't sustain leadership is always the same disaster.
Andre Paradis:
39:52
Then you realize, well, it's always me, right? I'm the
Andre Paradis:
39:55
common denominator. Like I need to find out and that's those of my clients.
Dr. Brad Miller:
39:59
Yeah, this one As they come to you give you an
Dr. Brad Miller:
40:01
example of someone who's come to you, and they're
Dr. Brad Miller:
40:04
in your testimony, give me someone who has had some
Dr. Brad Miller:
40:08
good thing happen out of being going.
Andre Paradis:
40:12
I have a bunch. So one thing you may not know is I officiate
Andre Paradis:
40:15
weddings as well. So before COVID, I made I made for my
Andre Paradis:
40:19
couples. I remember in one and I'm doing one in the end of
Andre Paradis:
40:23
March, march 31. In Vegas, I'm flying to marry one of my
Andre Paradis:
40:26
couples, I'm going to Texas in April, to marry another couple.
Andre Paradis:
40:31
So I have one couple that just got married. So this Candace
Andre Paradis:
40:35
is on the east coast. And she started with me, 14 months
Andre Paradis:
40:39
ago, within four months, she found her husband, understanding
Andre Paradis:
40:44
this whole thing, opening the channel, being feminine,
Andre Paradis:
40:46
being willing to be in a relationship, understanding that
Andre Paradis:
40:48
whole dance for herself for him, you know, bringing the
Andre Paradis:
40:51
best out of each other. He was looking for a wife, you can
Andre Paradis:
40:53
find anybody who was respectful, until she came along
Andre Paradis:
40:57
and understood respect for men, and how to be cherishing
Andre Paradis:
40:59
him was fantastic. So within a year, they got
Andre Paradis:
41:03
married, and now she's pregnant.
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:04
Awesome, awesome. Good news there. So Andre, if
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:08
somebody if there's people out there who are women,
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:11
particularly but women in men and women event who
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:14
resonate with your story, and with what you have touched
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:18
on here about this dynamic between women and men,
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:21
and they want to get on that bridge, at least take a step
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:23
on that bridge that you talked about there.
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:27
What are they going to find if they go to Project Equinox?
Dr. Brad Miller:
41:29
So how can you be helpful to them?
Andre Paradis:
41:31
So I have a gift for you listeners, if you want. Absolutely.
Andre Paradis:
41:35
So so it's kind of twofold give depending on who's listening,
Andre Paradis:
41:39
who wants whatever. So it typically, in podcasts, people
Andre Paradis:
41:43
who show up in podcasts are looking for information.
Andre Paradis:
41:45
But there are people who want listening something like
Andre Paradis:
41:49
this more information. And so people will actually want
Andre Paradis:
41:51
to jump in and work. I mean, there's two different types.
Andre Paradis:
41:54
So I'm inviting your listeners to if you go to my email,
Andre Paradis:
41:58
which is Andrecoachingthenumberone@gmail.com Just email
Andre Paradis:
42:03
me and write in a text in the subject matter, irresistible book,
Andre Paradis:
42:09
I will send them for free. There's a book that I sell called the
Andre Paradis:
42:11
fly for many qualities, high value man, find absolute resistible.
Andre Paradis:
42:16
Awesome, he's an ebook, you have a paperback and you
Andre Paradis:
42:19
could have it like digitally. And I'll just send you for free.
Andre Paradis:
42:22
It's something everybody else has to buy. If somebody is
Andre Paradis:
42:26
more with action driven, wants to actually step in. In the
Andre Paradis:
42:32
topic, again, email me Andre coaching, one at Gmail and
Andre Paradis:
42:35
in in a subject matter just so just right talk now. And I will
Andre Paradis:
42:39
send them a link to my calendar where they can put a
Andre Paradis:
42:43
exploratory call with me for an hour, and we'll talk about
Andre Paradis:
42:45
what's working with the challenge, where they see
Andre Paradis:
42:48
themselves stuck, figure out what they want dream,
Andre Paradis:
42:52
I called it, and then I'll discuss, you know how
Andre Paradis:
42:55
I can help them. That call alone is super.
Dr. Brad Miller:
42:59
Great. Well, that sounds awesome. But the and we'll put
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:04
links to all of this. So your website, Projectequinox.net.
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:08
And the emails are such that you mentioned all that our
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:12
website, DrBradmiller.com. Fascinating story, Andre, just the
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:19
we'd like to talk here on Beyond diversity about kind of the
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:22
wilderness pathway that people go on in order to get to their
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:26
promised life. And that always has its ups and downs, and
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:30
it's highs and lows, but you have a fascinating one to go from
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:33
a difficult childhood and the things that had there and,
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:36
and then to the world of dance and entertainment and
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:40
wild living and that kind of thing, to have an automotive
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:44
shop. And now being a relationship coach in helping to
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:47
kind of nail this or really put some framework on this
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:50
nebulous area of the relationship between men and women
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:52
and understanding the other side. I love that metaphor
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:55
of the bridge, maybe we get more people on that bridge
Dr. Brad Miller:
43:58
to the other side. That can be a helpful thing. So great.
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:01
Well, we appreciate that's that's the mission as you say
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:04
you have a God set calling to do such and we do know this.
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:08
There's a lot of misunderstanding between men and women,
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:11
which leads to all kinds of other stuff. And we want to do
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:14
what we can be do to be helpful in that. Appreciate you
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:18
being with us, my friend. His name is Andre parody. That's
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:22
a P R A D I S. His website is projectequinox.net And he's
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:29
all about coaching and relationship coaching. And he's
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:32
been our guest today on the beyond adversity podcast
Dr. Brad Miller:
44:35
with Dr. Brad Miller. Andre, thank you for being our guest.
