WEBVTT
00:00:05.040 --> 00:00:15.279
Hello, and welcome to Better Thinking, Better Living, the show for people navigating life transitions who want more clarity, more courage, and more of themselves.
00:00:15.439 --> 00:00:17.600
I'm your host, Tanya Schenkel.
00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:21.280
So I've been thinking about how to introduce myself.
00:00:21.440 --> 00:00:29.760
And honestly, there's a part of me that just wants to jump in to the deeper conversations that we're going to have together, because that's kind of who I am.
00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:33.439
I want to go there into the real stuff, the stuff that matters.
00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:43.119
But before we do that, I think you deserve to know a little bit about me and why I believe what I may say might actually be worth your time.
00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:44.479
So here's the thing.
00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:48.000
I've always loved conversations, not small talk.
00:00:48.159 --> 00:01:01.520
I'm talking about the kind of conversations where you can sit across from someone and talk about anything life, meaning, fear, dreams, the stuff that keeps you up at night.
00:01:01.679 --> 00:01:06.879
And I learned early on that there's something almost sacred about that kind of exchange.
00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:08.879
So my dad was really good at this.
00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:11.359
He did this with me and he did this with others.
00:01:11.519 --> 00:01:13.200
He really enjoyed conversation.
00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:19.680
And we could talk about anything: politics, philosophy, our fears, our hopes.
00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:21.359
Nothing was off limits.
00:01:21.439 --> 00:01:22.560
And I loved that.
00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:28.400
I loved the way a good conversation could open up a whole new way of thinking about something.
00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:45.200
It felt like those old porch conversations you hear about down south, and it helped that he was from down south, but where people could sit on the porch, think out loud, sometimes even disagree, and something real would happen in that space.
00:01:45.439 --> 00:01:47.840
There was a connection that would happen.
00:01:48.239 --> 00:01:52.480
And like I said, even if people disagreed, there was that connection.
00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:56.879
So actually, let me tell you about a moment that captured this recently for me.
00:01:57.120 --> 00:01:59.760
A couple of years ago, I went to visit family.
00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:05.040
We had breakfast together, and afterward, we just stayed in the living room talking.
00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:14.879
And the conversation moved from one thing to another: stories, memories, our different perspectives on things we'd all lived through together.
00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:22.319
The same events, the same people, but everyone remembered it a little differently, seeing it through our own lens.
00:02:22.479 --> 00:02:25.439
And it felt so connected, so alive.
00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:32.159
And I was supposed to leave that morning, and I actually ended up staying longer because I didn't want that conversation to end.
00:02:32.560 --> 00:02:42.639
There was something about being fully present with people I loved, hearing their stories layered next to mine that felt like exactly what I was made for.
00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:44.080
Now, here's the thing.
00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:47.840
I know that you and I are not going to be having that kind of conversation.
00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:49.120
This is a podcast.
00:02:49.199 --> 00:02:51.280
I'll be talking and you'll be listening.
00:02:51.439 --> 00:02:58.319
It's not reciprocal the way that that morning was, or the way that many of our quality conversations are.
00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:00.159
But here's what I hope.
00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:10.639
If even one thing I say lands with you, makes you pause, makes you think, I hope you'll take it and have that conversation with someone in your life.
00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:14.319
Let it become something real between you and another person.
00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:25.680
And if that's not available for you right now, if there's no one to have that conversation with in this season, I want to say that conversations with yourself count too.
00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:33.280
Sitting with your own thoughts, your own journal, your own honest reflection, that's not a consolation prize.
00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:36.639
That's real work, and it matters just as much.
00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:38.800
I've always been a reader too.
00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:42.800
Literature, philosophy, self-help books, memoirs, all of it.
00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:45.599
Because books are conversations too, right?
00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:52.800
They're someone sitting down and trying to make sense of their life and then inviting you into that.
00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:59.439
And I've spent a lot of my life in those conversations trying to understand myself and the world better.
00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:10.400
And I think that's why I'm here doing this, because at some point I realize that thinking clearly and communicating honestly, those things aren't optional, not for me.
00:04:10.560 --> 00:04:11.840
They're foundational.
00:04:12.080 --> 00:04:15.680
They're how we move through life with intention and integrity.
00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:20.639
The title of this podcast, Better Thinking, Better Living, it's not accidental.
00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:26.639
It comes from this belief that the way we think about our lives directly shapes how we live them.
00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:33.120
And not just thinking about our lives, but thinking about our experiences and the things that we have happen.
00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:46.319
And if we can think a little more clearly, a little more honestly about who we are and what we actually want and how our reactions are shaping who we are, then everything changes.
00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:48.480
So that's what we're going to do here.
00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:50.560
I'm going to think out loud with you.
00:04:50.720 --> 00:05:04.399
I'm going to share ideas and stories and questions that I hope will make you stop and really think about your own life, not to fix you, you don't need fixing, but to help you think more clearly about who you are and what's possible for you.
00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:18.560
I'm a therapist with a journal and a passport, and I've spent my career and my life learning that the people who feel most alive are the ones who are willing to look honestly at themselves, honestly at their life, and ask hard questions.
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:19.759
So welcome.
00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:21.199
I'm glad you're here.
00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:23.519
Let's think better together.
00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:24.959
So thank you for listening.
00:05:25.120 --> 00:05:31.279
Be sure to follow Better Thinking, Better Living on your favorite podcast player so you don't miss any future episodes.
00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:35.519
Until next time, keep thinking better, keep living better.
00:00:05.040 --> 00:00:15.279
Hello, and welcome to Better Thinking, Better Living, the show for people navigating life transitions who want more clarity, more courage, and more of themselves.
00:00:15.439 --> 00:00:17.600
I'm your host, Tanya Schenkel.
00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:21.280
So I've been thinking about how to introduce myself.
00:00:21.440 --> 00:00:29.760
And honestly, there's a part of me that just wants to jump in to the deeper conversations that we're going to have together, because that's kind of who I am.
00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:33.439
I want to go there into the real stuff, the stuff that matters.
00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:43.119
But before we do that, I think you deserve to know a little bit about me and why I believe what I may say might actually be worth your time.
00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:44.479
So here's the thing.
00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:48.000
I've always loved conversations, not small talk.
00:00:48.159 --> 00:01:01.520
I'm talking about the kind of conversations where you can sit across from someone and talk about anything life, meaning, fear, dreams, the stuff that keeps you up at night.
00:01:01.679 --> 00:01:06.879
And I learned early on that there's something almost sacred about that kind of exchange.
00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:08.879
So my dad was really good at this.
00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:11.359
He did this with me and he did this with others.
00:01:11.519 --> 00:01:13.200
He really enjoyed conversation.
00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:19.680
And we could talk about anything: politics, philosophy, our fears, our hopes.
00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:21.359
Nothing was off limits.
00:01:21.439 --> 00:01:22.560
And I loved that.
00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:28.400
I loved the way a good conversation could open up a whole new way of thinking about something.
00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:45.200
It felt like those old porch conversations you hear about down south, and it helped that he was from down south, but where people could sit on the porch, think out loud, sometimes even disagree, and something real would happen in that space.
00:01:45.439 --> 00:01:47.840
There was a connection that would happen.
00:01:48.239 --> 00:01:52.480
And like I said, even if people disagreed, there was that connection.
00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:56.879
So actually, let me tell you about a moment that captured this recently for me.
00:01:57.120 --> 00:01:59.760
A couple of years ago, I went to visit family.
00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:05.040
We had breakfast together, and afterward, we just stayed in the living room talking.
00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:14.879
And the conversation moved from one thing to another: stories, memories, our different perspectives on things we'd all lived through together.
00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:22.319
The same events, the same people, but everyone remembered it a little differently, seeing it through our own lens.
00:02:22.479 --> 00:02:25.439
And it felt so connected, so alive.
00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:32.159
And I was supposed to leave that morning, and I actually ended up staying longer because I didn't want that conversation to end.
00:02:32.560 --> 00:02:42.639
There was something about being fully present with people I loved, hearing their stories layered next to mine that felt like exactly what I was made for.
00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:44.080
Now, here's the thing.
00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:47.840
I know that you and I are not going to be having that kind of conversation.
00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:49.120
This is a podcast.
00:02:49.199 --> 00:02:51.280
I'll be talking and you'll be listening.
00:02:51.439 --> 00:02:58.319
It's not reciprocal the way that that morning was, or the way that many of our quality conversations are.
00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:00.159
But here's what I hope.
00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:10.639
If even one thing I say lands with you, makes you pause, makes you think, I hope you'll take it and have that conversation with someone in your life.
00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:14.319
Let it become something real between you and another person.
00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:25.680
And if that's not available for you right now, if there's no one to have that conversation with in this season, I want to say that conversations with yourself count too.
00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:33.280
Sitting with your own thoughts, your own journal, your own honest reflection, that's not a consolation prize.
00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:36.639
That's real work, and it matters just as much.
00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:38.800
I've always been a reader too.
00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:42.800
Literature, philosophy, self-help books, memoirs, all of it.
00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:45.599
Because books are conversations too, right?
00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:52.800
They're someone sitting down and trying to make sense of their life and then inviting you into that.
00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:59.439
And I've spent a lot of my life in those conversations trying to understand myself and the world better.
00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:10.400
And I think that's why I'm here doing this, because at some point I realize that thinking clearly and communicating honestly, those things aren't optional, not for me.
00:04:10.560 --> 00:04:11.840
They're foundational.
00:04:12.080 --> 00:04:15.680
They're how we move through life with intention and integrity.
00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:20.639
The title of this podcast, Better Thinking, Better Living, it's not accidental.
00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:26.639
It comes from this belief that the way we think about our lives directly shapes how we live them.
00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:33.120
And not just thinking about our lives, but thinking about our experiences and the things that we have happen.
00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:46.319
And if we can think a little more clearly, a little more honestly about who we are and what we actually want and how our reactions are shaping who we are, then everything changes.
00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:48.480
So that's what we're going to do here.
00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:50.560
I'm going to think out loud with you.
00:04:50.720 --> 00:05:04.399
I'm going to share ideas and stories and questions that I hope will make you stop and really think about your own life, not to fix you, you don't need fixing, but to help you think more clearly about who you are and what's possible for you.
00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:18.560
I'm a therapist with a journal and a passport, and I've spent my career and my life learning that the people who feel most alive are the ones who are willing to look honestly at themselves, honestly at their life, and ask hard questions.
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:19.759
So welcome.
00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:21.199
I'm glad you're here.
00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:23.519
Let's think better together.
00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:24.959
So thank you for listening.
00:05:25.120 --> 00:05:31.279
Be sure to follow Better Thinking, Better Living on your favorite podcast player so you don't miss any future episodes.
00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:35.519
Until next time, keep thinking better, keep living better.
