1
00:00:02,892 --> 00:00:10,147
That's the coolest thing about fatherhood is the stumbles, the tuck and rolls, the black
eyes, the faceplants.
2
00:00:10,147 --> 00:00:12,819
We feel that way in the dad life all the time.
3
00:00:12,819 --> 00:00:16,251
Like, feel like I suck.
4
00:00:16,592 --> 00:00:18,833
And it's not true.
5
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,474
Made a mistake.
6
00:00:20,546 --> 00:00:26,050
forgiveness, love for my heavenly father, I'm a son, not an orphan, I get to say I'm
sorry.
7
00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:28,931
And then that was just a beautiful moment of connection and closeness.
8
00:00:28,931 --> 00:00:39,838
So that's what I want these dads to hear is I'm with you and as much joy as I'm bringing
to this chat right now, the flip side, it could be real within 24 hours of feeling
9
00:00:39,838 --> 00:00:45,342
absolutely on my face and we pick ourselves up and we're all together and we're cheering
for each other.
10
00:00:45,449 --> 00:00:46,385
you
11
00:01:00,418 --> 00:01:03,719
Friends, sons, welcome back to the Being Sons podcast.
12
00:01:03,719 --> 00:01:17,453
That is the voice of Jeff Zaugg a friend of mine that I've recently met and a guy that I
have now come to understand and believe is amazing to be around if I want to learn how to
13
00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,043
be a better father.
14
00:01:19,043 --> 00:01:20,424
He's got a lot of experience.
15
00:01:20,424 --> 00:01:25,285
He's got a house full of girls that he's learning to love well.
16
00:01:25,565 --> 00:01:29,098
And he recently brought his daughter to a first bloom.
17
00:01:29,098 --> 00:01:36,171
And we struck up a friendship because both of us want to be the best fathers that we
possibly can be.
18
00:01:36,171 --> 00:01:40,463
And so it's a topic of great interest in our conversation with one another.
19
00:01:40,463 --> 00:01:43,504
We wanted to invite you into that conversation.
20
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,736
So this is part two of a two-part conversation.
21
00:01:46,736 --> 00:01:50,868
So if you haven't listened to the first part, I invite you to go back and listen to that
one.
22
00:01:50,868 --> 00:01:56,590
And in this second part, we are going to continue talking about how to become a better
father.
23
00:01:56,590 --> 00:02:06,014
how God wants to meet us exactly where we are and equip us to take these small steps that
end up making big differences in our home.
24
00:02:06,014 --> 00:02:19,760
How to be a more joyful father, how to be a more intentional father, what is the link
between fatherhood and actually learning how to be a son ourselves and how to invite God
25
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:24,862
to father us in our fathering of our children.
26
00:02:25,036 --> 00:02:26,326
It's a great conversation.
27
00:02:26,326 --> 00:02:39,530
We also get to hear in this upcoming episode how God led Jeff into this beautiful journey
of collecting all these conversations and discussions with similar people who have a lot
28
00:02:39,530 --> 00:02:45,732
of wisdom about being good men, about sonship, about loving their children, loving their
wives well.
29
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:50,743
So this is a man that I hope that you will enjoy listening to as much as me.
30
00:02:50,743 --> 00:02:53,754
So welcome back to the Being Sounds Podcast and let's...
31
00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:58,664
Carry on with this second part of this conversation with Jeff Zaugg
32
00:03:00,206 --> 00:03:07,319
You have an organization called Dad Awesome and Fathers to the Fatherless.
33
00:03:08,202 --> 00:03:09,284
What are those?
34
00:03:09,284 --> 00:03:10,706
Tell us about those.
35
00:03:11,522 --> 00:03:19,774
So Dad Awesome started first from an extension of me being a kids pastor and someone
asking me, how do you stay so intentional about being a dad?
36
00:03:19,774 --> 00:03:23,526
They observed me with a one year old, four year old as being an intentional dad.
37
00:03:23,526 --> 00:03:29,087
And I ran through in my mind and in my heart, facets of intentionality.
38
00:03:29,087 --> 00:03:33,709
And then I pulled open an Evernote file and started like thinking, am I an intentional
dad?
39
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:35,269
Have I ever read a book on fatherhood?
40
00:03:35,269 --> 00:03:37,210
Have I ever listened to a podcast on fatherhood?
41
00:03:37,210 --> 00:03:38,350
Been a part of a small group.
42
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:39,340
Have I had a mentor?
43
00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:40,391
Have I gone to a conference?
44
00:03:40,391 --> 00:03:41,581
Have I done an online course?
45
00:03:41,581 --> 00:03:49,142
Have I, mean, I literally, the facets of inputs, I realized I wasn't, I wasn't
intentionally growing in that area.
46
00:03:49,142 --> 00:03:51,594
They were just observing a dad who loved being a dad.
47
00:03:51,594 --> 00:03:52,595
That's all they were observing.
48
00:03:52,595 --> 00:03:55,969
So, so I went on this journey of gathering resources.
49
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,250
That's become dad awesome.
50
00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:59,821
It was a, was off of social media for that entire year.
51
00:03:59,821 --> 00:04:01,522
This is 2018.
52
00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:03,751
So I just shared it with my friends for like the whole first year.
53
00:04:03,751 --> 00:04:05,442
was just a dad awesome as a resource.
54
00:04:05,442 --> 00:04:10,014
I shared with friends, a daily text message, small group curriculum, and a weekly podcast.
55
00:04:10,035 --> 00:04:20,500
What we found was half, and this is a rough numbers, a guesstimate, half the guys in our
church were not engaging in the resources from dad awesome, the dads in our church.
56
00:04:20,641 --> 00:04:30,848
Probably because, probably because like me, there's some pain in that journey of being a
dad or there is,
57
00:04:30,848 --> 00:04:32,829
a perceived inadequacy.
58
00:04:32,829 --> 00:04:34,910
Like I'm struggling in the dad life.
59
00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:37,603
I'm not going to go to a group called dad awesome, right?
60
00:04:37,603 --> 00:04:38,643
It's so true.
61
00:04:38,643 --> 00:04:40,354
We joke about dad awesome.
62
00:04:40,354 --> 00:04:46,799
People feel dad awful or dad average or dad annoyed or there's a bunch of other ones.
63
00:04:46,799 --> 00:04:48,680
My daughter's like joke about dad.
64
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,913
You're being a little bit dad annoyed right now versus dad awesome.
65
00:04:52,913 --> 00:04:57,376
and, truly the, the lies get thrown at dads in that area.
66
00:04:57,376 --> 00:05:00,558
So what we did is we felt, I felt
67
00:05:00,558 --> 00:05:05,998
Like God was saying, activate these dads, activate these men to a vision beyond ourselves.
68
00:05:05,998 --> 00:05:09,158
So instead of self-help, a lot of the Dad Awesome resources are self-help.
69
00:05:09,158 --> 00:05:11,018
But dad says, I want help in this area.
70
00:05:11,018 --> 00:05:13,858
I'm going to engage with Dad Awesome, learn and grow.
71
00:05:14,558 --> 00:05:25,278
Fathers for the Fatherless is our missional expression where for six years we've rallied
men to go do something hard physically on behalf of a mission that's right at the center
72
00:05:25,278 --> 00:05:26,338
of God's heart.
73
00:05:26,338 --> 00:05:29,720
So Fathers for the Fatherless is a 100 mile bike ride.
74
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:34,853
to raise money for our partner organizations who directly serve the fatherless.
75
00:05:35,014 --> 00:05:37,445
It was a hundred mile bike ride for the first like three, four years.
76
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:41,998
Then the last two years we did Spartan obstacle course races and we'd ever do like the 5K.
77
00:05:41,998 --> 00:05:47,022
We do like the 10K or the beast, like the longer ones and triathlons.
78
00:05:47,022 --> 00:05:48,173
Yeah, we suffer.
79
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:51,415
We want something that takes about three months to train for.
80
00:05:51,415 --> 00:05:55,458
We want something that's not just like a quick throw on your shoes and go suffer day off.
81
00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:56,849
We want to train together.
82
00:05:56,849 --> 00:05:58,750
So we gave the guys a mission.
83
00:05:58,862 --> 00:06:09,402
And then we trickle awesome resources as the secret mission, because we know that as they
pursue helping kids that don't have a dad, our posture is all the summer forming
84
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:10,002
friendships.
85
00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:12,202
All of a sudden we're learning about fatherlessness.
86
00:06:12,202 --> 00:06:15,022
All of a sudden we're curiously like, Hey, wait a second.
87
00:06:15,022 --> 00:06:17,642
I want to make sure my kids know that I'm pursuing their heart.
88
00:06:17,642 --> 00:06:21,102
And next thing they know, they're becoming awesome as our secret mission.
89
00:06:21,102 --> 00:06:24,282
And so we did 30 of these events across the country.
90
00:06:24,282 --> 00:06:27,694
We hit the road as a family and traveled in an RV for
91
00:06:27,694 --> 00:06:32,735
550 nights of travel in an RV and this mission fathers for the fatherless.
92
00:06:32,735 --> 00:06:34,026
was, it was crazy.
93
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:42,058
The friends we have today, the stories we tell, the miles logged in spandex as we had all
that.
94
00:06:42,058 --> 00:06:44,319
I was not a cyclist before starting this thing.
95
00:06:44,319 --> 00:06:46,999
over a thousand men said yes to this mission.
96
00:06:46,999 --> 00:06:48,820
And we just celebrated a few months ago.
97
00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:52,811
We passed a million dollars raised for our partners who directly served the fatherless.
98
00:06:52,811 --> 00:06:56,546
So crazy adventure, not part of my
99
00:06:56,546 --> 00:07:04,850
business plan, hey, I'll start a fatherhood ministry and then I'll activate guys to do
these kind of endurance events.
100
00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:09,732
Never part of my plan, but something we kind of stumbled, God helped us stumble into.
101
00:07:09,732 --> 00:07:16,335
And now we'll kind of, focus with Dad Awesome on awareness is the podcast and other
resources, bite-sized content.
102
00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:20,337
Activation is continuing to activate teams around this mission.
103
00:07:20,337 --> 00:07:23,384
They may in the future be awesome teams, still.
104
00:07:23,384 --> 00:07:26,556
focused on a mission to helping the fatherless, but they might be rebranded slightly.
105
00:07:26,556 --> 00:07:28,895
And then the third category is acceleration.
106
00:07:28,895 --> 00:07:34,920
So we do awareness, we do activation, and acceleration is the deeper discipleship work.
107
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,902
Acceleration is entirely through our partners.
108
00:07:38,902 --> 00:07:47,176
you'll find Being Sons is on the awesome website as one of our partners who does the
deeper discipleship, the deeper father-son, father-daughter, the deeper.
109
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:47,886
So.
110
00:07:48,096 --> 00:07:54,088
In fact, most of our mutual friends, all run ministries that help do the deeper work.
111
00:07:54,088 --> 00:08:00,110
And we've just found that God's gifted us this ability to awareness and activation.
112
00:08:00,110 --> 00:08:07,412
And then we, I mean, we're learning in the Excel, we're coming alongside doing some
resourcing ourselves, but my goodness, we love our partners.
113
00:08:07,412 --> 00:08:13,794
So we'll always like champion these amazing friends who are doing fatherhood ministry and
those partners.
114
00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:16,581
That's how the world will change.
115
00:08:16,581 --> 00:08:26,476
That's how the church will be famous for fatherhood ministry is through the whole team of
the 50 to 100 organizations the someday hundreds of organizations working cheering for
116
00:08:26,476 --> 00:08:26,947
each other.
117
00:08:26,947 --> 00:08:29,981
So that's that's kind of our posture more but we're up to it.
118
00:08:29,981 --> 00:08:30,802
Awesome.
119
00:08:31,818 --> 00:08:39,485
So the awareness piece that you hit through the podcasts, it's stunning the number of
guests.
120
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:48,195
First thing I want to say is well done for having the courage to reach out to some of
these big names and just ask, do you want to be on it?
121
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,343
It's really impressive.
122
00:08:49,343 --> 00:08:53,997
It's very convicting to me to do the same.
123
00:08:55,086 --> 00:09:00,510
Well, and just to jump in for a second, several of them, I just fill out a web inquiry
form and they tell me no.
124
00:09:00,510 --> 00:09:07,194
They tell me no when I fill out like how long or how many listeners they fill out, they
say no.
125
00:09:07,555 --> 00:09:08,845
And then I pray for the people.
126
00:09:08,845 --> 00:09:13,058
Like truly I pray for them and their families.
127
00:09:13,058 --> 00:09:21,804
And then the people who have flipped and said yes, because they happen to be writing a
kid's book with their daughter or happened to be like, hey, two days freed up in January.
128
00:09:21,804 --> 00:09:22,625
Do you want to come on?
129
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:24,578
Like Jamie Winship was like, it was a no.
130
00:09:24,578 --> 00:09:26,953
And then his assistant's like, actually, he's got these slots.
131
00:09:26,953 --> 00:09:27,735
You want to take one?
132
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,487
And I was like, yes.
133
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:33,456
So that's the story of us and those guests is not hustle.
134
00:09:33,456 --> 00:09:36,672
It's we fill out web forms and then we pray.
135
00:09:38,515 --> 00:09:42,134
And they're on your podcast, making us aware.
136
00:09:42,134 --> 00:09:43,312
I love it.
137
00:09:51,470 --> 00:09:52,252
Okay.
138
00:09:55,086 --> 00:10:03,973
So you have become a man known for your enthusiasm, your optimism, your joy, your
intentionality.
139
00:10:03,973 --> 00:10:06,144
Have you always been this way?
140
00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:09,314
Yes.
141
00:10:11,118 --> 00:10:12,449
is a one word answer.
142
00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:14,231
Yes, God created you me.
143
00:10:14,231 --> 00:10:14,891
Awesome.
144
00:10:14,891 --> 00:10:15,561
Absolutely.
145
00:10:15,561 --> 00:10:18,953
I see the image of God in you and I hear it in your voice.
146
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:19,563
I love it.
147
00:10:19,563 --> 00:10:25,696
So thanks God for your image as as born by Jeff Zog.
148
00:10:25,696 --> 00:10:26,356
Beautiful.
149
00:10:26,356 --> 00:10:27,356
Love it.
150
00:10:27,576 --> 00:10:32,518
So you've become a huge learner in the subject talking to so many men mentors.
151
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:39,751
What are a few changes that you have learned that can bring about major changes in your
home?
152
00:10:39,751 --> 00:10:41,362
What can you say?
153
00:10:41,548 --> 00:10:47,650
What can our listeners say and do quickly to see some significant changes?
154
00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:59,750
Yeah, one of them you taught me and it's the power of our thoughts as well as our words
that we actually choose the Deuteronomy 30 19 blessings or curses, you know, choose life
155
00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:00,290
or death.
156
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:04,766
And I realized that I was still grumbling in my mind.
157
00:11:04,766 --> 00:11:11,812
even though I was using maybe words that were not speaking death over my girls and over my
wife, I was complaining while I washed the dishes.
158
00:11:11,812 --> 00:11:15,125
was complaining on my drive or this or that.
159
00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:24,192
Like I was grumbling in my mind and actually thinking death, thinking curses over these
most precious five little women.
160
00:11:24,192 --> 00:11:25,303
Like truly.
161
00:11:25,303 --> 00:11:31,118
So that's one, practical, is to just like really check our heart, our thoughts.
162
00:11:31,118 --> 00:11:33,836
And am I thinking
163
00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:34,767
blessings.
164
00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:41,391
And like right in this moment, I'm like gushing with blessings for my girls and they're
landing on a flight to Minnesota right now.
165
00:11:41,391 --> 00:11:48,215
And, and I think they're benefiting right now from just like, that's how the Holy Spirit
works is he like passes on blessings.
166
00:11:48,215 --> 00:11:58,862
So that's, that's one, I'm sure other guests have emphasized the, one-on-ones with daddy,
daughter dates, you know, dad, son outings.
167
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:02,666
We've created a monthly rhythm with my daughter of just picking a theme.
168
00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:06,466
use chat GPT to help do some of the research around the theme.
169
00:12:06,466 --> 00:12:13,526
actually spend, we're spending 100 minutes together each month as a one-on-one and it's a
10 year journey.
170
00:12:13,706 --> 00:12:17,586
so we were only three months into it, but we've, she knows I've committed to her.
171
00:12:17,586 --> 00:12:21,466
We're to journey for 10 years and we actually take two months off every year.
172
00:12:21,466 --> 00:12:23,286
Like she's like, no, let's do 10, 10 months a year.
173
00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:26,968
She helped me kind of build the plan and it's the 10,000 minutes.
174
00:12:26,968 --> 00:12:28,148
project or whatever it's called.
175
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,059
She doesn't matter what it's called.
176
00:12:29,059 --> 00:12:34,460
She just knows that I'm going to pursue her with a monthly theme that we're going to
actually build out and do a challenge.
177
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:40,042
And the reason I bring that up is just like, build things, pivot, try something else.
178
00:12:40,042 --> 00:12:48,264
But like, I think there's something to creating together with our, with our kids, it's
more than just going to grab ice cream, like she knows that I'm building something with
179
00:12:48,264 --> 00:12:49,344
her and I care.
180
00:12:49,344 --> 00:12:52,585
And that's it's it's multi year in nature.
181
00:12:52,585 --> 00:12:55,866
And so those are a few top of mind.
182
00:12:56,206 --> 00:12:58,566
discoveries that I would pass on.
183
00:12:58,786 --> 00:13:00,026
Yeah, get a good rope swing though.
184
00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:06,426
If you're a dad, even without a tree, grab a good rope and take it to the park and do some
rope swing time with your kids.
185
00:13:06,426 --> 00:13:08,294
You will be better for it.
186
00:13:09,398 --> 00:13:11,675
This is big part of your world here at Ropes,
187
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:14,556
Well, it's funny.
188
00:13:15,598 --> 00:13:20,504
It kind of I stumbled into just loving to create rope swings for my girls.
189
00:13:20,504 --> 00:13:22,156
So it is I guess.
190
00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:25,230
Love it.
191
00:13:25,452 --> 00:13:28,937
Yeah, it's easy, it's cheap, it's portable.
192
00:13:28,937 --> 00:13:29,477
Why not?
193
00:13:29,477 --> 00:13:31,690
I'd never thought about taking it to a park and doing it.
194
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:34,404
Like a slack line or hammock or something like that.
195
00:13:34,404 --> 00:13:36,256
Yeah, it's amazingly portable.
196
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,855
You don't even need the little beanbag lead line.
197
00:13:38,855 --> 00:13:40,860
can just duct tape a rock to it.
198
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,757
Just be careful with the swing back.
199
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:46,890
You don't catch a kid with your rock.
200
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:56,841
What is the impact of a dad on his home?
201
00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:13,370
the story that I think will help to drive this home is my grandpa gave $40,000 of savings
bonds to his 10 grandkids to help with college.
202
00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:15,370
And that wasn't enough to pay for all of college.
203
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:20,570
But back 20 years ago, it paid for and it grew a little more than that.
204
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:26,670
Before I cashed him in and paid for about 75 % of my college education was this gift from
my grandpa.
205
00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:30,242
Now if I would have taken
206
00:14:30,242 --> 00:14:38,425
that 60,000 in college saving bonds and put it into Apple in the year 2001 instead of
paying off college.
207
00:14:40,106 --> 00:14:45,668
Roughly $19 million today, the 60,000 turns into 19 million.
208
00:14:45,789 --> 00:14:49,110
And this plays on the treasure in the field.
209
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:59,254
Like I know after spending seven years, there's a lot of guys listening that have gone
deep into different career focuses, different learning paths, different like,
210
00:14:59,326 --> 00:15:04,550
And I respect anyone who just commits a long time to one thing and says, I'm going to
learn deeply.
211
00:15:04,550 --> 00:15:05,681
So I've just chosen.
212
00:15:05,681 --> 00:15:06,912
I've learned a lot.
213
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:10,235
But instead of saying, these are all the learnings, follow my example.
214
00:15:10,235 --> 00:15:24,716
I just know that I know that I know that the investment in my four girls taking the 168
hours I have in any week and purpose in those hours to scale back.
215
00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:36,806
the immediate short-term rewards of career advancements to scale back this hobby or that
hobby, to scale back other areas and to just say, I'm gonna deposit that 60,000 into the
216
00:15:36,806 --> 00:15:38,336
hearts of my girls.
217
00:15:38,336 --> 00:15:46,940
I know, because I've heard so many heartbreaking stories from grandparents that are like,
that is the Apple investment that returns 19 million later.
218
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:50,866
Is the pursuing the hearts of our kids.
219
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:56,328
learning deeply taking the trip to first bloom in San Antonio like that trip to us.
220
00:15:56,328 --> 00:16:05,610
We will never again I have three more daughters we're coming to first bloom like we're
coming Jay, but I won't do the I won't do the 2am wake up and fly there and then we return
221
00:16:05,610 --> 00:16:06,110
home.
222
00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:10,932
We actually got home at 2am the following so we did the minimum of just two nights away.
223
00:16:10,932 --> 00:16:12,382
But so I won't do that in the future.
224
00:16:12,382 --> 00:16:15,613
I'll actually take an extra night at a hotel and fly it.
225
00:16:15,873 --> 00:16:20,130
But like truly, I know that this is the treasure in the field.
226
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:27,076
that is worth like is worth downshifting all the other areas to just say this is a big
deal to me.
227
00:16:27,076 --> 00:16:29,418
This is a huge priority to me.
228
00:16:29,418 --> 00:16:35,594
And that's that's that's the long version answer to your question about like, is it like,
like, what do want to deposit?
229
00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:39,928
Or what do you want to like, elevate when it comes to being an awesome dad?
230
00:16:39,928 --> 00:16:42,570
Like, it's the treasure in the field.
231
00:16:42,991 --> 00:16:45,943
Like act like it, like go all in.
232
00:16:45,943 --> 00:16:47,494
So there you go.
233
00:16:48,846 --> 00:17:03,106
So you were mentioning earlier, and I have felt it as well, when we come into the presence
of somebody who has experience, expertise, or feels naturally gifted in something that we
234
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,626
feel we are.
235
00:17:08,301 --> 00:17:16,043
poverty stricken with because it's very hard for us to take our children where we haven't
gone.
236
00:17:16,764 --> 00:17:30,308
Conversations, I want to say well done for every single one of you who's listening to this
conversation, who had the courage to turn it on because I know that there is a very real
237
00:17:30,308 --> 00:17:36,798
enemy that comes the moment we even see a title that invites us
238
00:17:36,798 --> 00:17:48,253
begin to inspect ourselves, to self-evaluate, to see where we might need to humbly come to
God and say, I need your help.
239
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:53,901
So there's a lot of dads that hopefully are going to be listening to this in the future.
240
00:17:56,386 --> 00:17:59,308
You, Jeff, are optimistic.
241
00:17:59,308 --> 00:18:00,178
You're joyful.
242
00:18:00,178 --> 00:18:01,769
You're intentional.
243
00:18:01,769 --> 00:18:07,912
Many men do not share your personality at all, and yet they're fathers.
244
00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:18,518
So there's this quick and easy voice of self-accusation that would make us feel
disqualified.
245
00:18:18,759 --> 00:18:24,882
And we can look at a future and think that there's no hope.
246
00:18:25,176 --> 00:18:29,309
for me with my kids, I've messed up, I don't know what to do.
247
00:18:31,992 --> 00:18:34,494
Jeff, what would you say to those dads?
248
00:18:34,494 --> 00:18:44,942
Because I assume that in all of your conversations, if you haven't felt this way yourself
from time to time, which I would assume you have, that you've come into contact with men
249
00:18:44,942 --> 00:18:48,284
who, that's their story, they actually started off there.
250
00:18:48,525 --> 00:18:50,486
What would you say to those dads?
251
00:18:51,104 --> 00:18:52,874
Yeah, discouragement.
252
00:18:53,775 --> 00:18:56,876
Discouragement is powerful.
253
00:18:56,876 --> 00:19:09,739
And I, I feel threads of discouragement waves, I jump from threads to waves of
discouragement around my journey as a dad, like, it's crazy discouragement.
254
00:19:09,739 --> 00:19:19,052
think the root word right is simply encouragement is putting courage into something
discouraging is like we're slashing, we're erasing courage, we're taking it away.
255
00:19:19,052 --> 00:19:21,172
And that is the like,
256
00:19:21,358 --> 00:19:26,460
primary assault is to get you discouraged right now as a dad.
257
00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:28,701
And please, like, hear.
258
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:32,933
I feel that I'm under attack by the same discouragement.
259
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:35,454
I feel it more today than I did seven years ago.
260
00:19:35,454 --> 00:19:40,657
So after all these interviews, all this time investment, I for four years have been full
time.
261
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:46,169
I've given everything to awesome as far as the leap of faith into like, let's start this
nonprofit.
262
00:19:46,169 --> 00:19:48,728
I feel more discouraged today than I did then.
263
00:19:48,728 --> 00:19:53,241
but it's behind, okay, so the discouragement assault is real.
264
00:19:53,622 --> 00:20:00,768
But I know what's true, like what I just emphasized, that it's a treasure and it's worth
everything.
265
00:20:00,768 --> 00:20:07,013
And now I think what I have is more, I know the areas that I'm failing more now than I did
then.
266
00:20:07,013 --> 00:20:17,102
So actually as a real assessment, I assess myself with a lower rate, like I'm actually,
like, shoot, 10 things I hear practical.
267
00:20:17,102 --> 00:20:22,842
like wisdom insights on my podcast, I put like one of them into action and I feel bad.
268
00:20:22,842 --> 00:20:31,442
I feel bad about the other 10 that I'm not doing because I'm having these energetic
conversations with guests like so pumped about what they're sharing with me and I'm not
269
00:20:31,442 --> 00:20:33,522
doing what they tell me to do.
270
00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:35,642
So am I an imposter?
271
00:20:35,642 --> 00:20:38,062
Am I a like my duplicit?
272
00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:46,520
Like I think these whispers like it is rubbish like we get to take one step today.
273
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:56,377
We get to pick ourselves up and take one step and choose to speak life, choose to tell our
kids how much we love being their dad, choose to read our first ever book on fatherhood,
274
00:20:56,377 --> 00:21:05,343
choose to listen to a whole episode like you said, and all of heaven is applauding that
one step.
275
00:21:05,343 --> 00:21:15,470
So that's I want them all to hear is like what I felt in the room, Jay with you and the
first balloon guys, when I stood in the front of the room and I blessed my daughter.
276
00:21:15,916 --> 00:21:17,627
Like in that, was so nervous.
277
00:21:17,627 --> 00:21:23,388
I'm a guy who runs a fatherhood ministry and I am so nervous because it's such a precious
moment.
278
00:21:23,388 --> 00:21:25,008
I'm so nervous.
279
00:21:25,569 --> 00:21:32,711
But what I felt of these men love me, love my daughter and are so pumped for me.
280
00:21:32,711 --> 00:21:37,612
Like that's just like the fractional bit of heaven, the fractional paradise of what's
real.
281
00:21:37,612 --> 00:21:44,294
Every time we choose to go walk back to our child's room after we said something a little
too harsh and say we're sorry.
282
00:21:44,948 --> 00:21:49,541
every time we choose to pray with our wife if you're married.
283
00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:58,026
Every time, like all of heaven is like thrilled and they're so proud of you and they're so
pumped that you took a step.
284
00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:05,890
that's cool thing about fatherhood is the stumbles, the tuck and rolls, the black eyes,
the faceplants.
285
00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:13,002
I need myself in the forehead, barefoot water skiing, I need myself in the forehead and
the boat comes around and they're looking at me and they're like,
286
00:22:13,002 --> 00:22:23,008
something like I literally thought that like what is wrong because I didn't know but my
tennis ball sticking out of my forehead for me myself and we feel that way in the dad life
287
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:38,096
all the time like I feel like I suck and it's not true made a mistake forgiveness love for
my heavenly father I'm a son not an orphan I get to say I'm sorry and then I that was just
288
00:22:38,096 --> 00:22:42,528
a beautiful moment of connection and closeness so that's what I that's what I want these
dads to hear is
289
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:46,620
I'm with you and as much joy as I'm bringing to this chat right now.
290
00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:55,945
The flip side could be real within 24 hours of feeling absolutely on my face and we pick
ourselves up and we're all together and we're cheering for each other.
291
00:22:55,945 --> 00:22:57,676
So that's what I want them to hear.
292
00:22:59,342 --> 00:23:16,922
It's good to see our heroes as truly human and hear the weak places and then because you
have such a big presence and personality, is that what you hide behind?
293
00:23:16,922 --> 00:23:23,174
Like if you're feeling insecure, we can take our fears and...
294
00:23:23,522 --> 00:23:31,724
our insecurities and sometimes we go passive in response to them and sometimes we become
very aggressive in response to them.
295
00:23:34,922 --> 00:23:46,128
I would imagine knowing you that you would still look really good on the outside, would
still keep performing and keep the energy up.
296
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:53,438
But it would be easy for you to hide all of that behind this
297
00:23:53,438 --> 00:23:58,516
super enthusiastic, energetic, joyful, knowledgeable guy that we're looking at.
298
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,692
Well, I would jump into both sides.
299
00:24:02,692 --> 00:24:06,954
So the RV trip, we did not put awesome on the RV.
300
00:24:06,954 --> 00:24:18,869
Partially, that was intentional because I knew the amount of moments at the RV park that
dad is struggling and not feeling any bit like so the accountability of putting awesome on
301
00:24:18,869 --> 00:24:19,899
the RV.
302
00:24:20,079 --> 00:24:20,810
Well, we didn't do it.
303
00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:22,480
So there's other factors with that too.
304
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,621
But the I mean, yesterday, yesterday,
305
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:30,038
My wife and had an argument over a headphone splitter.
306
00:24:30,038 --> 00:24:34,538
Literally, I didn't want to buy a headphone splitter for the trip that they're on right
now.
307
00:24:34,538 --> 00:24:38,958
And I wanted to look and dig for it in boxes and try to figure out in this rental house
we're in.
308
00:24:38,958 --> 00:24:49,918
And the argument escalated into a half hour wasted time in front of my six year old that
it, I mean, I called an argument, my wife would probably call it a fight.
309
00:24:49,918 --> 00:24:55,958
And it's like the opposite of being dad awesome is my six year old saw me speaking with
harshness.
310
00:24:56,344 --> 00:24:58,455
to most precious person in the world.
311
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:11,260
And so I do think it's important to say like, yeah, my joy, my golden retriever, my
energy, enthusiasm, I think sometimes because I carry it so strong, the passion is so
312
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:14,972
strong here, it can come out in really sharp words.
313
00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:16,462
my girls have seen it.
314
00:25:16,462 --> 00:25:26,206
yeah, I want you guys to hear that as well, is that's an area that I pray that I can be a
gentle giant, because I need to pray, because what slips out is not that.
315
00:25:30,242 --> 00:25:44,229
moments of my life that I regret the most are the ones that my children had to, they had
to bear the brunt of and process without the ability to process that at their age.
316
00:25:44,229 --> 00:25:49,651
I mean, we have a hard time processing the stuff that our parents did even at our age now.
317
00:25:49,651 --> 00:25:52,422
We do need counselors for that.
318
00:25:52,422 --> 00:25:53,593
Yeah.
319
00:25:58,958 --> 00:26:02,318
I've got a lot of embarrassing moments that I'm writing.
320
00:26:02,858 --> 00:26:13,298
I would say embarrassing moments, not only embarrassing moments, but moments that I need
to go to my children individually and say, I want to tell you of some of the most painful
321
00:26:13,298 --> 00:26:16,678
memories that I have, and it's where I failed you.
322
00:26:16,678 --> 00:26:25,798
And I'm simply praying right now and asking God to let me know when the appropriate time
is to do that.
323
00:26:25,798 --> 00:26:28,846
I don't want to do that too soon.
324
00:26:28,846 --> 00:26:40,029
but I don't want to wait even a day longer because I know, yeah, I just need my kids to
know how I felt about that.
325
00:26:40,029 --> 00:26:44,740
And I think some of the things they probably wouldn't even remember, but I still need to
get it off.
326
00:26:44,740 --> 00:26:49,332
And it's an opportunity for me to tell them, I love you.
327
00:26:49,332 --> 00:26:53,053
And whenever I fail you, I feel it.
328
00:26:53,053 --> 00:26:58,578
And because my heart's greatest desire and one of the greatest privileges of my life is to
love you.
329
00:26:58,578 --> 00:27:05,123
And I suffer when I don't do that well because you're such a treasure.
330
00:27:05,264 --> 00:27:13,481
So God will use those moments for good if we have the courage to go and do that.
331
00:27:13,481 --> 00:27:20,836
So anyway, I'm actually really looking forward to going to my children and having that
conversation when God gives me the thumbs up on those.
332
00:27:23,064 --> 00:27:24,042
Powerful.
333
00:27:28,504 --> 00:27:36,617
There is something that I've heard you say, that you say to your children very regularly
when you tuck them in.
334
00:27:36,617 --> 00:27:45,521
And I know it's so simple, but it's so powerful and it could be the best starting place
for a dad.
335
00:27:45,561 --> 00:27:47,412
You know what I'm talking about?
336
00:27:47,628 --> 00:27:48,478
I do.
337
00:27:48,478 --> 00:27:53,601
Yeah, I and I it's it's framed differently.
338
00:27:53,601 --> 00:28:01,074
Sometimes I expand on it, but really it's it's telling them by with their name that I love
that I get to be your dad.
339
00:28:01,074 --> 00:28:06,226
It's just it's emphasizing identity and delight.
340
00:28:09,281 --> 00:28:10,344
It's huge.
341
00:28:12,876 --> 00:28:25,733
And I know a large number of men whose lives were radically changed because they heard
their father in heaven say something exactly like that.
342
00:28:26,534 --> 00:28:37,880
There's nothing, there's nothing that bestows identity or worth purpose more than that
right there.
343
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,922
So, well done for articulating that.
344
00:28:42,318 --> 00:28:49,536
and for seeing the fruit of that in your own household.
345
00:28:50,774 --> 00:28:54,015
It's, yeah.
346
00:28:55,496 --> 00:28:58,978
well, it ties with what you just shared and actually, yeah.
347
00:28:58,978 --> 00:29:03,600
So now that I live in Florida, I carry, I'm wearing these lightweight shorts more often.
348
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,541
It's harder to carry a knife on me, in Florida.
349
00:29:06,541 --> 00:29:17,656
So I have to like keep it on my desk or my laptop case, but this was gifted to me, at a,
at a muster that our mutual friend Pablo hosted, but I think, know, Greg Winters, do know
350
00:29:17,656 --> 00:29:18,476
Greg?
351
00:29:18,596 --> 00:29:18,846
yeah.
352
00:29:18,846 --> 00:29:19,356
Yeah.
353
00:29:19,356 --> 00:29:25,229
he gifted me his knife one year after my dad passed away.
354
00:29:25,229 --> 00:29:32,673
And the affirmation with this gift was your heavenly father is still fathering you.
355
00:29:32,673 --> 00:29:44,108
So that every time I reach for this knife, every time I, my hand brushes past it, I'm, I'm
reminded that my heavenly father
356
00:29:44,256 --> 00:29:45,967
is still fathering me.
357
00:29:45,967 --> 00:29:54,159
And the fact that it is a knife as a reminder versus I've been gifted a few other just
reminder gifts, like a compass and some other things.
358
00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:59,740
But this, to me, some of it, we're about to buy a house down here in Florida.
359
00:29:59,740 --> 00:30:08,733
And the amount of areas that I feel like I need fathering because it's intimidating or
it's a new frontier.
360
00:30:08,733 --> 00:30:13,422
Like this knife is just a reminder of I'm not alone.
361
00:30:13,422 --> 00:30:14,583
I'm not alone.
362
00:30:14,583 --> 00:30:15,884
can stumble.
363
00:30:15,884 --> 00:30:26,001
I can make a mistake that costs money because the mistake I had to buy some, you know,
something new to make up for it or bring in some professional help because I tried, I
364
00:30:26,001 --> 00:30:27,332
thought I could get there and I couldn't.
365
00:30:27,332 --> 00:30:33,176
Like, I've had flat tires on my bicycle before in very tricky locations.
366
00:30:33,176 --> 00:30:40,361
Like the longest bridge, the seven mile bridge in the Florida Keys, I got stuck halfway on
that bridge with a flat tire.
367
00:30:40,361 --> 00:30:42,670
And I had to remember
368
00:30:42,670 --> 00:30:47,730
and even do some breath prayers, but also like remember, my heavenly father is still
fathering me.
369
00:30:47,730 --> 00:30:50,210
I'm not a failure because I can't change this tire right now.
370
00:30:50,210 --> 00:30:51,070
I'm not a failure.
371
00:30:51,070 --> 00:30:51,830
It's not who I am.
372
00:30:51,830 --> 00:30:53,830
I am a loved son of God.
373
00:30:53,830 --> 00:31:05,210
And so the whisper to my daughters of letting them know who they are, that they're loved,
that they're mine, you know, it's right around prayer time so they know that they've got a
374
00:31:05,210 --> 00:31:06,210
heavenly father as well.
375
00:31:06,210 --> 00:31:10,414
Like this like triple, like it's a big deal.
376
00:31:10,414 --> 00:31:25,134
for them and my littlest, my three and a half year old, the way she dances, the way she
laughs, the way she plays pretend imaginary play, I think it's because she knows how loved
377
00:31:25,134 --> 00:31:25,934
she is.
378
00:31:25,934 --> 00:31:32,694
Like truly, like all my girls have done that, but she's got the compounded love from my
wife, from me, and from her three big sisters.
379
00:31:32,694 --> 00:31:34,974
All think she is amazing.
380
00:31:34,974 --> 00:31:35,850
And she,
381
00:31:35,850 --> 00:31:40,293
she knows it with such delight because it's still it's not a show off type amazing.
382
00:31:40,293 --> 00:31:41,650
It's not a look at me.
383
00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:43,495
I care if you're looking at me or not.
384
00:31:43,495 --> 00:31:46,677
She's just like so free.
385
00:31:46,677 --> 00:31:50,239
And that's what I want for my girls in every phase.
386
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:58,365
And I don't see it as often in my 11 year old as I used to because she's in that like,
man, dreamer to dancer.
387
00:31:58,365 --> 00:31:59,446
man.
388
00:31:59,826 --> 00:32:00,947
Yes.
389
00:32:00,947 --> 00:32:05,650
So so but I think that we're laying this is the
390
00:32:05,716 --> 00:32:09,388
think a story out of Will Smith's book around laying bricks in this wall.
391
00:32:09,388 --> 00:32:11,250
His dad made him build this wall.
392
00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:14,512
And we're laying bricks with every whisper before bedtime.
393
00:32:14,512 --> 00:32:20,835
We're just laying a foundation that it doesn't like, it doesn't add up in one night.
394
00:32:21,855 --> 00:32:22,507
It grows.
395
00:32:22,507 --> 00:32:23,737
It grows.
396
00:32:23,866 --> 00:32:24,982
Yeah.
397
00:32:26,094 --> 00:32:29,414
Well, there's so many directions that we could go.
398
00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:43,214
I just wanted to have this conversation with you and hear more your heart on what you're
doing and just to get just a little fractional paradise as you're able to offer it.
399
00:32:43,214 --> 00:32:52,274
And even more powerfully after contending with these big questions, what does it mean to
be a good father?
400
00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:53,534
How do I become a good father?
401
00:32:53,534 --> 00:32:56,054
How do I grow as a son?
402
00:32:56,322 --> 00:32:57,903
You're doing great, Jeff.
403
00:32:57,903 --> 00:32:59,285
You're doing wonderful.
404
00:32:59,285 --> 00:33:09,753
And your daughter Kiva, who I've been able to meet and see her joy and her security when
she's right by your side.
405
00:33:09,753 --> 00:33:14,477
And also when you're not there, she's totally secure.
406
00:33:15,018 --> 00:33:22,383
reading her feedback, she knows she's loved and it's really obvious.
407
00:33:22,684 --> 00:33:25,486
friends, if you want to learn more,
408
00:33:25,502 --> 00:33:40,370
There is so much to learn and it's very accessible if you will go to dadawesome.org and
you're just going to have fun scrolling and seeing all these conversations.
409
00:33:40,370 --> 00:33:46,694
just Holy Spirit, which one of these short, easy, practical, fun conversations should I
listen to?
410
00:33:46,694 --> 00:33:54,678
just whatever the Holy Spirit tells you to click, just click on it and enjoy and let it be
a feast for you.
411
00:33:55,138 --> 00:34:01,180
Becoming a good father is exactly what we are made for.
412
00:34:01,340 --> 00:34:09,322
We are called to the ministry of fatherhood, and men who are made in the image of God are
made in the image of the perfect Father.
413
00:34:09,322 --> 00:34:13,123
So we are designed and intended to be fathers.
414
00:34:13,123 --> 00:34:23,666
And to the degree that we did not get what would make us the perfect Father, we are also
sons that God will meet on the journey to help us become that.
415
00:34:24,989 --> 00:34:27,791
expertise, part of our brilliance.
416
00:34:28,952 --> 00:34:33,955
And what we get to offer to our children is our own personal stories of redemption.
417
00:34:33,976 --> 00:34:47,305
It's their ability to see us growing, and it's their invitation to see us become utterly
dependent on God.
418
00:34:47,305 --> 00:34:54,550
That's what they need to see that they can trust God and to become utterly dependent on
Him.
419
00:34:55,855 --> 00:35:00,249
If several years ago, if I could have chosen the kind of father that I would be.
420
00:35:03,416 --> 00:35:15,454
That vision would have involved different cars, different house, different property,
different toys, different vacations, and a very different schedule on my part.
421
00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:21,400
and they would not have been what my children need.
422
00:35:22,460 --> 00:35:29,623
They have needed for me to be utterly dependent on God.
423
00:35:29,623 --> 00:35:41,288
They have needed to see God come through for them and help them find somebody to teach
them how to ride horses and how to go to school.
424
00:35:41,288 --> 00:35:45,210
There's these impossible barriers and obstacles that
425
00:35:45,256 --> 00:35:57,350
we as fathers get to partner with our kids in and say, hey, I don't have the resources, I
don't have the knowledge, and I didn't grow up with any of that, but how about we go to
426
00:35:57,350 --> 00:36:00,991
our father and ask him to meet us here?
427
00:36:01,391 --> 00:36:03,672
And that's my story.
428
00:36:03,672 --> 00:36:10,414
And it sounds, Jeff, like that's been a huge part of your story, is inviting your children
to come.
429
00:36:10,498 --> 00:36:15,500
to God's awesomeness, that waterfall of His abundance and provision and protection.
430
00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:23,538
So the degree that fatherlessness is being revealed in you, that's your frontier.
431
00:36:23,538 --> 00:36:30,996
And we begin taking small steps and God meets us right there to help us keep walking.
432
00:36:31,136 --> 00:36:41,771
And Jeff, thank you for being such a great example of that and for being such a great
curator of these incredible conversations with wonderful men who are fully human.
433
00:36:42,051 --> 00:36:45,443
All of us trying to figure out how to do this together.
434
00:36:45,443 --> 00:36:48,614
We really do need one another.
435
00:36:48,714 --> 00:36:57,288
So before we go, I just wanted to ask you, Jeff, what would you want to say before we
close out?
436
00:36:59,726 --> 00:37:07,877
You know, I wasn't wasn't going to mention this, but I felt it kind of rise up a little
bit when you were mentioning next steps and finding a podcast and something that's not on
437
00:37:07,877 --> 00:37:21,332
the website at all is we've offered 20 dads so far this opportunity to be in a six week
kind of sprint to learn everything that I've learned in now seven years of the ministry.
438
00:37:21,332 --> 00:37:27,466
We just take 10 dads at a time through we call it the dad awesome accelerator, but we just
chosen to kind of keep it off the
439
00:37:27,466 --> 00:37:32,068
off the menu and to see who God brings to us.
440
00:37:32,068 --> 00:37:40,432
So it would be a joy if maybe there's a couple dads from your family at Being Sons that
would want to be a part.
441
00:37:40,432 --> 00:37:43,299
All they have to do is email dadawesome.org.
442
00:37:43,299 --> 00:37:48,575
So we created a ping back, an email address just for that experience and it will shoot
them right back all the info.
443
00:37:48,575 --> 00:37:50,056
So it's dadawesome.org.
444
00:37:50,056 --> 00:37:52,697
And so that's the secret way to learn about the accelerator.
445
00:37:52,697 --> 00:37:55,418
one thing, and that is,
446
00:37:56,142 --> 00:38:01,886
You know that that popped into my heart as a what I would want them to know as we say
goodbye.
447
00:38:02,122 --> 00:38:06,209
I probably would just add an exclamation point to what we we've already.
448
00:38:06,209 --> 00:38:13,634
We've gone around this a couple times, so don't want to be laborless, but the level of
being dad average.
449
00:38:14,555 --> 00:38:20,399
Being at times dad angry being at times you feel dad awful.
450
00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:25,152
I feel that yesterday like but guess what like.
451
00:38:25,396 --> 00:38:30,487
we get to still be their dad and come back from it.
452
00:38:30,487 --> 00:38:40,900
the my heart is just to like say like, this is not people joke about dude perfect that
like I'm trying to create because it's called dad awesome like this like, yeah, awesome
453
00:38:40,900 --> 00:38:47,342
dads that just like look and feel and think and talk like they've got it all figured out
with their trick shots of dad hacks.
454
00:38:47,342 --> 00:38:55,288
No, like, I just want to add this exclamation point of like, God's heart is he's with us
Emmanuel.
455
00:38:55,288 --> 00:38:57,679
We're heading into Christmas, he's with us.
456
00:38:57,679 --> 00:39:09,102
And he is so, like, he's so glad that you're on this journey of being, we say being dad
awesome, but that means you're all over that continuum.
457
00:39:09,102 --> 00:39:10,583
It's all over.
458
00:39:10,643 --> 00:39:21,496
Because the heart is, they need to see both sides and they want to know that you're in the
highs and lows, you're their dad and you love them and you're, so.
459
00:39:21,496 --> 00:39:33,946
That's to just overly simplify a kind of goodbye here of like, like, guys, just stay in
the game and keep praying for them and keep stepping towards them and keep apologizing.
460
00:39:33,946 --> 00:39:36,840
And, God is pumped for that.
461
00:39:39,118 --> 00:39:43,385
Will you pray for us as dads before we close up?
462
00:39:44,396 --> 00:39:45,388
love to.
463
00:39:45,795 --> 00:39:47,531
God, thank you for Jay.
464
00:39:49,294 --> 00:39:56,877
Thank you for the gift that he's given to my family and my four daughters and my wife.
465
00:39:57,077 --> 00:40:08,852
Thank you for him putting his arm around my oldest daughter and me and communicating that
he's for us, he loves us, he's cheering for us, he's praying for us, he's been
466
00:40:08,852 --> 00:40:11,754
thoughtfully preparing to invest in us.
467
00:40:11,754 --> 00:40:14,164
I felt all of that and I feel it today.
468
00:40:14,625 --> 00:40:17,706
And God, thank you that Jay is actually just a
469
00:40:18,354 --> 00:40:26,396
a sliver of making you known to me because that's your posture, is you are for each of
these dads listening.
470
00:40:26,396 --> 00:40:27,657
You love them.
471
00:40:27,657 --> 00:40:29,707
You're preparing good things for them.
472
00:40:29,707 --> 00:40:32,978
You are planting courage deep in their hearts.
473
00:40:32,978 --> 00:40:37,529
You are preparing little God moments that are going to be unexpected joy bombs.
474
00:40:37,529 --> 00:40:48,162
God, I just pray that as I pray for Jay and grateful for Jay in this prayer, I just pray
that every dad listening would know, they would know that all of heaven
475
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,471
is cheering them on.
476
00:40:50,772 --> 00:40:57,016
And I pray that they would have more courage to show up with their whole hearts for their
kids.
477
00:40:57,077 --> 00:41:02,371
And I pray that more of these dads listening would come to First Flu and they would come
to First Track.
478
00:41:02,371 --> 00:41:08,536
Scott, I pray in Jesus' name that you would bring a turning of the hearts fathers to kids.
479
00:41:08,536 --> 00:41:10,658
And I know it's happened because they're still listening right now.
480
00:41:10,658 --> 00:41:11,488
It's happened.
481
00:41:11,488 --> 00:41:12,669
We're grateful for it.
482
00:41:12,669 --> 00:41:14,501
So thank you for this time, this conversation.
483
00:41:14,501 --> 00:41:15,321
Thank you for Jay.
484
00:41:15,321 --> 00:41:18,826
May you multiply in unexpected ways.
485
00:41:18,826 --> 00:41:23,609
a 10 times, 20 times, 100 times his expectations for the dads he's going to reach.
486
00:41:23,609 --> 00:41:25,443
We pray this in Jesus' name.
487
00:41:25,445 --> 00:41:26,336
Amen.
488
00:41:27,522 --> 00:41:36,833
Sons, friends, thanks for joining Jeff Zaugg and I as we walk a mile on the true and
tested road of being sons.
489
00:41:36,833 --> 00:41:39,255
And we'll talk to you next time.
490
00:41:39,476 --> 00:41:41,658
Thanks so much, Jeff, for being with us.
491
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:43,421
My pleasure.
00:00:02,892 --> 00:00:10,147
That's the coolest thing about fatherhood is the stumbles, the tuck and rolls, the black
eyes, the faceplants.
2
00:00:10,147 --> 00:00:12,819
We feel that way in the dad life all the time.
3
00:00:12,819 --> 00:00:16,251
Like, feel like I suck.
4
00:00:16,592 --> 00:00:18,833
And it's not true.
5
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,474
Made a mistake.
6
00:00:20,546 --> 00:00:26,050
forgiveness, love for my heavenly father, I'm a son, not an orphan, I get to say I'm
sorry.
7
00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:28,931
And then that was just a beautiful moment of connection and closeness.
8
00:00:28,931 --> 00:00:39,838
So that's what I want these dads to hear is I'm with you and as much joy as I'm bringing
to this chat right now, the flip side, it could be real within 24 hours of feeling
9
00:00:39,838 --> 00:00:45,342
absolutely on my face and we pick ourselves up and we're all together and we're cheering
for each other.
10
00:00:45,449 --> 00:00:46,385
you
11
00:01:00,418 --> 00:01:03,719
Friends, sons, welcome back to the Being Sons podcast.
12
00:01:03,719 --> 00:01:17,453
That is the voice of Jeff Zaugg a friend of mine that I've recently met and a guy that I
have now come to understand and believe is amazing to be around if I want to learn how to
13
00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,043
be a better father.
14
00:01:19,043 --> 00:01:20,424
He's got a lot of experience.
15
00:01:20,424 --> 00:01:25,285
He's got a house full of girls that he's learning to love well.
16
00:01:25,565 --> 00:01:29,098
And he recently brought his daughter to a first bloom.
17
00:01:29,098 --> 00:01:36,171
And we struck up a friendship because both of us want to be the best fathers that we
possibly can be.
18
00:01:36,171 --> 00:01:40,463
And so it's a topic of great interest in our conversation with one another.
19
00:01:40,463 --> 00:01:43,504
We wanted to invite you into that conversation.
20
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,736
So this is part two of a two-part conversation.
21
00:01:46,736 --> 00:01:50,868
So if you haven't listened to the first part, I invite you to go back and listen to that
one.
22
00:01:50,868 --> 00:01:56,590
And in this second part, we are going to continue talking about how to become a better
father.
23
00:01:56,590 --> 00:02:06,014
how God wants to meet us exactly where we are and equip us to take these small steps that
end up making big differences in our home.
24
00:02:06,014 --> 00:02:19,760
How to be a more joyful father, how to be a more intentional father, what is the link
between fatherhood and actually learning how to be a son ourselves and how to invite God
25
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:24,862
to father us in our fathering of our children.
26
00:02:25,036 --> 00:02:26,326
It's a great conversation.
27
00:02:26,326 --> 00:02:39,530
We also get to hear in this upcoming episode how God led Jeff into this beautiful journey
of collecting all these conversations and discussions with similar people who have a lot
28
00:02:39,530 --> 00:02:45,732
of wisdom about being good men, about sonship, about loving their children, loving their
wives well.
29
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:50,743
So this is a man that I hope that you will enjoy listening to as much as me.
30
00:02:50,743 --> 00:02:53,754
So welcome back to the Being Sounds Podcast and let's...
31
00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:58,664
Carry on with this second part of this conversation with Jeff Zaugg
32
00:03:00,206 --> 00:03:07,319
You have an organization called Dad Awesome and Fathers to the Fatherless.
33
00:03:08,202 --> 00:03:09,284
What are those?
34
00:03:09,284 --> 00:03:10,706
Tell us about those.
35
00:03:11,522 --> 00:03:19,774
So Dad Awesome started first from an extension of me being a kids pastor and someone
asking me, how do you stay so intentional about being a dad?
36
00:03:19,774 --> 00:03:23,526
They observed me with a one year old, four year old as being an intentional dad.
37
00:03:23,526 --> 00:03:29,087
And I ran through in my mind and in my heart, facets of intentionality.
38
00:03:29,087 --> 00:03:33,709
And then I pulled open an Evernote file and started like thinking, am I an intentional
dad?
39
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:35,269
Have I ever read a book on fatherhood?
40
00:03:35,269 --> 00:03:37,210
Have I ever listened to a podcast on fatherhood?
41
00:03:37,210 --> 00:03:38,350
Been a part of a small group.
42
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:39,340
Have I had a mentor?
43
00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:40,391
Have I gone to a conference?
44
00:03:40,391 --> 00:03:41,581
Have I done an online course?
45
00:03:41,581 --> 00:03:49,142
Have I, mean, I literally, the facets of inputs, I realized I wasn't, I wasn't
intentionally growing in that area.
46
00:03:49,142 --> 00:03:51,594
They were just observing a dad who loved being a dad.
47
00:03:51,594 --> 00:03:52,595
That's all they were observing.
48
00:03:52,595 --> 00:03:55,969
So, so I went on this journey of gathering resources.
49
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,250
That's become dad awesome.
50
00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:59,821
It was a, was off of social media for that entire year.
51
00:03:59,821 --> 00:04:01,522
This is 2018.
52
00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:03,751
So I just shared it with my friends for like the whole first year.
53
00:04:03,751 --> 00:04:05,442
was just a dad awesome as a resource.
54
00:04:05,442 --> 00:04:10,014
I shared with friends, a daily text message, small group curriculum, and a weekly podcast.
55
00:04:10,035 --> 00:04:20,500
What we found was half, and this is a rough numbers, a guesstimate, half the guys in our
church were not engaging in the resources from dad awesome, the dads in our church.
56
00:04:20,641 --> 00:04:30,848
Probably because, probably because like me, there's some pain in that journey of being a
dad or there is,
57
00:04:30,848 --> 00:04:32,829
a perceived inadequacy.
58
00:04:32,829 --> 00:04:34,910
Like I'm struggling in the dad life.
59
00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:37,603
I'm not going to go to a group called dad awesome, right?
60
00:04:37,603 --> 00:04:38,643
It's so true.
61
00:04:38,643 --> 00:04:40,354
We joke about dad awesome.
62
00:04:40,354 --> 00:04:46,799
People feel dad awful or dad average or dad annoyed or there's a bunch of other ones.
63
00:04:46,799 --> 00:04:48,680
My daughter's like joke about dad.
64
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,913
You're being a little bit dad annoyed right now versus dad awesome.
65
00:04:52,913 --> 00:04:57,376
and, truly the, the lies get thrown at dads in that area.
66
00:04:57,376 --> 00:05:00,558
So what we did is we felt, I felt
67
00:05:00,558 --> 00:05:05,998
Like God was saying, activate these dads, activate these men to a vision beyond ourselves.
68
00:05:05,998 --> 00:05:09,158
So instead of self-help, a lot of the Dad Awesome resources are self-help.
69
00:05:09,158 --> 00:05:11,018
But dad says, I want help in this area.
70
00:05:11,018 --> 00:05:13,858
I'm going to engage with Dad Awesome, learn and grow.
71
00:05:14,558 --> 00:05:25,278
Fathers for the Fatherless is our missional expression where for six years we've rallied
men to go do something hard physically on behalf of a mission that's right at the center
72
00:05:25,278 --> 00:05:26,338
of God's heart.
73
00:05:26,338 --> 00:05:29,720
So Fathers for the Fatherless is a 100 mile bike ride.
74
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:34,853
to raise money for our partner organizations who directly serve the fatherless.
75
00:05:35,014 --> 00:05:37,445
It was a hundred mile bike ride for the first like three, four years.
76
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:41,998
Then the last two years we did Spartan obstacle course races and we'd ever do like the 5K.
77
00:05:41,998 --> 00:05:47,022
We do like the 10K or the beast, like the longer ones and triathlons.
78
00:05:47,022 --> 00:05:48,173
Yeah, we suffer.
79
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:51,415
We want something that takes about three months to train for.
80
00:05:51,415 --> 00:05:55,458
We want something that's not just like a quick throw on your shoes and go suffer day off.
81
00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:56,849
We want to train together.
82
00:05:56,849 --> 00:05:58,750
So we gave the guys a mission.
83
00:05:58,862 --> 00:06:09,402
And then we trickle awesome resources as the secret mission, because we know that as they
pursue helping kids that don't have a dad, our posture is all the summer forming
84
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:10,002
friendships.
85
00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:12,202
All of a sudden we're learning about fatherlessness.
86
00:06:12,202 --> 00:06:15,022
All of a sudden we're curiously like, Hey, wait a second.
87
00:06:15,022 --> 00:06:17,642
I want to make sure my kids know that I'm pursuing their heart.
88
00:06:17,642 --> 00:06:21,102
And next thing they know, they're becoming awesome as our secret mission.
89
00:06:21,102 --> 00:06:24,282
And so we did 30 of these events across the country.
90
00:06:24,282 --> 00:06:27,694
We hit the road as a family and traveled in an RV for
91
00:06:27,694 --> 00:06:32,735
550 nights of travel in an RV and this mission fathers for the fatherless.
92
00:06:32,735 --> 00:06:34,026
was, it was crazy.
93
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:42,058
The friends we have today, the stories we tell, the miles logged in spandex as we had all
that.
94
00:06:42,058 --> 00:06:44,319
I was not a cyclist before starting this thing.
95
00:06:44,319 --> 00:06:46,999
over a thousand men said yes to this mission.
96
00:06:46,999 --> 00:06:48,820
And we just celebrated a few months ago.
97
00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:52,811
We passed a million dollars raised for our partners who directly served the fatherless.
98
00:06:52,811 --> 00:06:56,546
So crazy adventure, not part of my
99
00:06:56,546 --> 00:07:04,850
business plan, hey, I'll start a fatherhood ministry and then I'll activate guys to do
these kind of endurance events.
100
00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:09,732
Never part of my plan, but something we kind of stumbled, God helped us stumble into.
101
00:07:09,732 --> 00:07:16,335
And now we'll kind of, focus with Dad Awesome on awareness is the podcast and other
resources, bite-sized content.
102
00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:20,337
Activation is continuing to activate teams around this mission.
103
00:07:20,337 --> 00:07:23,384
They may in the future be awesome teams, still.
104
00:07:23,384 --> 00:07:26,556
focused on a mission to helping the fatherless, but they might be rebranded slightly.
105
00:07:26,556 --> 00:07:28,895
And then the third category is acceleration.
106
00:07:28,895 --> 00:07:34,920
So we do awareness, we do activation, and acceleration is the deeper discipleship work.
107
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,902
Acceleration is entirely through our partners.
108
00:07:38,902 --> 00:07:47,176
you'll find Being Sons is on the awesome website as one of our partners who does the
deeper discipleship, the deeper father-son, father-daughter, the deeper.
109
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:47,886
So.
110
00:07:48,096 --> 00:07:54,088
In fact, most of our mutual friends, all run ministries that help do the deeper work.
111
00:07:54,088 --> 00:08:00,110
And we've just found that God's gifted us this ability to awareness and activation.
112
00:08:00,110 --> 00:08:07,412
And then we, I mean, we're learning in the Excel, we're coming alongside doing some
resourcing ourselves, but my goodness, we love our partners.
113
00:08:07,412 --> 00:08:13,794
So we'll always like champion these amazing friends who are doing fatherhood ministry and
those partners.
114
00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:16,581
That's how the world will change.
115
00:08:16,581 --> 00:08:26,476
That's how the church will be famous for fatherhood ministry is through the whole team of
the 50 to 100 organizations the someday hundreds of organizations working cheering for
116
00:08:26,476 --> 00:08:26,947
each other.
117
00:08:26,947 --> 00:08:29,981
So that's that's kind of our posture more but we're up to it.
118
00:08:29,981 --> 00:08:30,802
Awesome.
119
00:08:31,818 --> 00:08:39,485
So the awareness piece that you hit through the podcasts, it's stunning the number of
guests.
120
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:48,195
First thing I want to say is well done for having the courage to reach out to some of
these big names and just ask, do you want to be on it?
121
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,343
It's really impressive.
122
00:08:49,343 --> 00:08:53,997
It's very convicting to me to do the same.
123
00:08:55,086 --> 00:09:00,510
Well, and just to jump in for a second, several of them, I just fill out a web inquiry
form and they tell me no.
124
00:09:00,510 --> 00:09:07,194
They tell me no when I fill out like how long or how many listeners they fill out, they
say no.
125
00:09:07,555 --> 00:09:08,845
And then I pray for the people.
126
00:09:08,845 --> 00:09:13,058
Like truly I pray for them and their families.
127
00:09:13,058 --> 00:09:21,804
And then the people who have flipped and said yes, because they happen to be writing a
kid's book with their daughter or happened to be like, hey, two days freed up in January.
128
00:09:21,804 --> 00:09:22,625
Do you want to come on?
129
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:24,578
Like Jamie Winship was like, it was a no.
130
00:09:24,578 --> 00:09:26,953
And then his assistant's like, actually, he's got these slots.
131
00:09:26,953 --> 00:09:27,735
You want to take one?
132
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,487
And I was like, yes.
133
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:33,456
So that's the story of us and those guests is not hustle.
134
00:09:33,456 --> 00:09:36,672
It's we fill out web forms and then we pray.
135
00:09:38,515 --> 00:09:42,134
And they're on your podcast, making us aware.
136
00:09:42,134 --> 00:09:43,312
I love it.
137
00:09:51,470 --> 00:09:52,252
Okay.
138
00:09:55,086 --> 00:10:03,973
So you have become a man known for your enthusiasm, your optimism, your joy, your
intentionality.
139
00:10:03,973 --> 00:10:06,144
Have you always been this way?
140
00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:09,314
Yes.
141
00:10:11,118 --> 00:10:12,449
is a one word answer.
142
00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:14,231
Yes, God created you me.
143
00:10:14,231 --> 00:10:14,891
Awesome.
144
00:10:14,891 --> 00:10:15,561
Absolutely.
145
00:10:15,561 --> 00:10:18,953
I see the image of God in you and I hear it in your voice.
146
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:19,563
I love it.
147
00:10:19,563 --> 00:10:25,696
So thanks God for your image as as born by Jeff Zog.
148
00:10:25,696 --> 00:10:26,356
Beautiful.
149
00:10:26,356 --> 00:10:27,356
Love it.
150
00:10:27,576 --> 00:10:32,518
So you've become a huge learner in the subject talking to so many men mentors.
151
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:39,751
What are a few changes that you have learned that can bring about major changes in your
home?
152
00:10:39,751 --> 00:10:41,362
What can you say?
153
00:10:41,548 --> 00:10:47,650
What can our listeners say and do quickly to see some significant changes?
154
00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:59,750
Yeah, one of them you taught me and it's the power of our thoughts as well as our words
that we actually choose the Deuteronomy 30 19 blessings or curses, you know, choose life
155
00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:00,290
or death.
156
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:04,766
And I realized that I was still grumbling in my mind.
157
00:11:04,766 --> 00:11:11,812
even though I was using maybe words that were not speaking death over my girls and over my
wife, I was complaining while I washed the dishes.
158
00:11:11,812 --> 00:11:15,125
was complaining on my drive or this or that.
159
00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:24,192
Like I was grumbling in my mind and actually thinking death, thinking curses over these
most precious five little women.
160
00:11:24,192 --> 00:11:25,303
Like truly.
161
00:11:25,303 --> 00:11:31,118
So that's one, practical, is to just like really check our heart, our thoughts.
162
00:11:31,118 --> 00:11:33,836
And am I thinking
163
00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:34,767
blessings.
164
00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:41,391
And like right in this moment, I'm like gushing with blessings for my girls and they're
landing on a flight to Minnesota right now.
165
00:11:41,391 --> 00:11:48,215
And, and I think they're benefiting right now from just like, that's how the Holy Spirit
works is he like passes on blessings.
166
00:11:48,215 --> 00:11:58,862
So that's, that's one, I'm sure other guests have emphasized the, one-on-ones with daddy,
daughter dates, you know, dad, son outings.
167
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:02,666
We've created a monthly rhythm with my daughter of just picking a theme.
168
00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:06,466
use chat GPT to help do some of the research around the theme.
169
00:12:06,466 --> 00:12:13,526
actually spend, we're spending 100 minutes together each month as a one-on-one and it's a
10 year journey.
170
00:12:13,706 --> 00:12:17,586
so we were only three months into it, but we've, she knows I've committed to her.
171
00:12:17,586 --> 00:12:21,466
We're to journey for 10 years and we actually take two months off every year.
172
00:12:21,466 --> 00:12:23,286
Like she's like, no, let's do 10, 10 months a year.
173
00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:26,968
She helped me kind of build the plan and it's the 10,000 minutes.
174
00:12:26,968 --> 00:12:28,148
project or whatever it's called.
175
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,059
She doesn't matter what it's called.
176
00:12:29,059 --> 00:12:34,460
She just knows that I'm going to pursue her with a monthly theme that we're going to
actually build out and do a challenge.
177
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:40,042
And the reason I bring that up is just like, build things, pivot, try something else.
178
00:12:40,042 --> 00:12:48,264
But like, I think there's something to creating together with our, with our kids, it's
more than just going to grab ice cream, like she knows that I'm building something with
179
00:12:48,264 --> 00:12:49,344
her and I care.
180
00:12:49,344 --> 00:12:52,585
And that's it's it's multi year in nature.
181
00:12:52,585 --> 00:12:55,866
And so those are a few top of mind.
182
00:12:56,206 --> 00:12:58,566
discoveries that I would pass on.
183
00:12:58,786 --> 00:13:00,026
Yeah, get a good rope swing though.
184
00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:06,426
If you're a dad, even without a tree, grab a good rope and take it to the park and do some
rope swing time with your kids.
185
00:13:06,426 --> 00:13:08,294
You will be better for it.
186
00:13:09,398 --> 00:13:11,675
This is big part of your world here at Ropes,
187
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:14,556
Well, it's funny.
188
00:13:15,598 --> 00:13:20,504
It kind of I stumbled into just loving to create rope swings for my girls.
189
00:13:20,504 --> 00:13:22,156
So it is I guess.
190
00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:25,230
Love it.
191
00:13:25,452 --> 00:13:28,937
Yeah, it's easy, it's cheap, it's portable.
192
00:13:28,937 --> 00:13:29,477
Why not?
193
00:13:29,477 --> 00:13:31,690
I'd never thought about taking it to a park and doing it.
194
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:34,404
Like a slack line or hammock or something like that.
195
00:13:34,404 --> 00:13:36,256
Yeah, it's amazingly portable.
196
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,855
You don't even need the little beanbag lead line.
197
00:13:38,855 --> 00:13:40,860
can just duct tape a rock to it.
198
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,757
Just be careful with the swing back.
199
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:46,890
You don't catch a kid with your rock.
200
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:56,841
What is the impact of a dad on his home?
201
00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:13,370
the story that I think will help to drive this home is my grandpa gave $40,000 of savings
bonds to his 10 grandkids to help with college.
202
00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:15,370
And that wasn't enough to pay for all of college.
203
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:20,570
But back 20 years ago, it paid for and it grew a little more than that.
204
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:26,670
Before I cashed him in and paid for about 75 % of my college education was this gift from
my grandpa.
205
00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:30,242
Now if I would have taken
206
00:14:30,242 --> 00:14:38,425
that 60,000 in college saving bonds and put it into Apple in the year 2001 instead of
paying off college.
207
00:14:40,106 --> 00:14:45,668
Roughly $19 million today, the 60,000 turns into 19 million.
208
00:14:45,789 --> 00:14:49,110
And this plays on the treasure in the field.
209
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:59,254
Like I know after spending seven years, there's a lot of guys listening that have gone
deep into different career focuses, different learning paths, different like,
210
00:14:59,326 --> 00:15:04,550
And I respect anyone who just commits a long time to one thing and says, I'm going to
learn deeply.
211
00:15:04,550 --> 00:15:05,681
So I've just chosen.
212
00:15:05,681 --> 00:15:06,912
I've learned a lot.
213
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:10,235
But instead of saying, these are all the learnings, follow my example.
214
00:15:10,235 --> 00:15:24,716
I just know that I know that I know that the investment in my four girls taking the 168
hours I have in any week and purpose in those hours to scale back.
215
00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:36,806
the immediate short-term rewards of career advancements to scale back this hobby or that
hobby, to scale back other areas and to just say, I'm gonna deposit that 60,000 into the
216
00:15:36,806 --> 00:15:38,336
hearts of my girls.
217
00:15:38,336 --> 00:15:46,940
I know, because I've heard so many heartbreaking stories from grandparents that are like,
that is the Apple investment that returns 19 million later.
218
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:50,866
Is the pursuing the hearts of our kids.
219
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:56,328
learning deeply taking the trip to first bloom in San Antonio like that trip to us.
220
00:15:56,328 --> 00:16:05,610
We will never again I have three more daughters we're coming to first bloom like we're
coming Jay, but I won't do the I won't do the 2am wake up and fly there and then we return
221
00:16:05,610 --> 00:16:06,110
home.
222
00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:10,932
We actually got home at 2am the following so we did the minimum of just two nights away.
223
00:16:10,932 --> 00:16:12,382
But so I won't do that in the future.
224
00:16:12,382 --> 00:16:15,613
I'll actually take an extra night at a hotel and fly it.
225
00:16:15,873 --> 00:16:20,130
But like truly, I know that this is the treasure in the field.
226
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:27,076
that is worth like is worth downshifting all the other areas to just say this is a big
deal to me.
227
00:16:27,076 --> 00:16:29,418
This is a huge priority to me.
228
00:16:29,418 --> 00:16:35,594
And that's that's that's the long version answer to your question about like, is it like,
like, what do want to deposit?
229
00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:39,928
Or what do you want to like, elevate when it comes to being an awesome dad?
230
00:16:39,928 --> 00:16:42,570
Like, it's the treasure in the field.
231
00:16:42,991 --> 00:16:45,943
Like act like it, like go all in.
232
00:16:45,943 --> 00:16:47,494
So there you go.
233
00:16:48,846 --> 00:17:03,106
So you were mentioning earlier, and I have felt it as well, when we come into the presence
of somebody who has experience, expertise, or feels naturally gifted in something that we
234
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,626
feel we are.
235
00:17:08,301 --> 00:17:16,043
poverty stricken with because it's very hard for us to take our children where we haven't
gone.
236
00:17:16,764 --> 00:17:30,308
Conversations, I want to say well done for every single one of you who's listening to this
conversation, who had the courage to turn it on because I know that there is a very real
237
00:17:30,308 --> 00:17:36,798
enemy that comes the moment we even see a title that invites us
238
00:17:36,798 --> 00:17:48,253
begin to inspect ourselves, to self-evaluate, to see where we might need to humbly come to
God and say, I need your help.
239
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:53,901
So there's a lot of dads that hopefully are going to be listening to this in the future.
240
00:17:56,386 --> 00:17:59,308
You, Jeff, are optimistic.
241
00:17:59,308 --> 00:18:00,178
You're joyful.
242
00:18:00,178 --> 00:18:01,769
You're intentional.
243
00:18:01,769 --> 00:18:07,912
Many men do not share your personality at all, and yet they're fathers.
244
00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:18,518
So there's this quick and easy voice of self-accusation that would make us feel
disqualified.
245
00:18:18,759 --> 00:18:24,882
And we can look at a future and think that there's no hope.
246
00:18:25,176 --> 00:18:29,309
for me with my kids, I've messed up, I don't know what to do.
247
00:18:31,992 --> 00:18:34,494
Jeff, what would you say to those dads?
248
00:18:34,494 --> 00:18:44,942
Because I assume that in all of your conversations, if you haven't felt this way yourself
from time to time, which I would assume you have, that you've come into contact with men
249
00:18:44,942 --> 00:18:48,284
who, that's their story, they actually started off there.
250
00:18:48,525 --> 00:18:50,486
What would you say to those dads?
251
00:18:51,104 --> 00:18:52,874
Yeah, discouragement.
252
00:18:53,775 --> 00:18:56,876
Discouragement is powerful.
253
00:18:56,876 --> 00:19:09,739
And I, I feel threads of discouragement waves, I jump from threads to waves of
discouragement around my journey as a dad, like, it's crazy discouragement.
254
00:19:09,739 --> 00:19:19,052
think the root word right is simply encouragement is putting courage into something
discouraging is like we're slashing, we're erasing courage, we're taking it away.
255
00:19:19,052 --> 00:19:21,172
And that is the like,
256
00:19:21,358 --> 00:19:26,460
primary assault is to get you discouraged right now as a dad.
257
00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:28,701
And please, like, hear.
258
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:32,933
I feel that I'm under attack by the same discouragement.
259
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:35,454
I feel it more today than I did seven years ago.
260
00:19:35,454 --> 00:19:40,657
So after all these interviews, all this time investment, I for four years have been full
time.
261
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:46,169
I've given everything to awesome as far as the leap of faith into like, let's start this
nonprofit.
262
00:19:46,169 --> 00:19:48,728
I feel more discouraged today than I did then.
263
00:19:48,728 --> 00:19:53,241
but it's behind, okay, so the discouragement assault is real.
264
00:19:53,622 --> 00:20:00,768
But I know what's true, like what I just emphasized, that it's a treasure and it's worth
everything.
265
00:20:00,768 --> 00:20:07,013
And now I think what I have is more, I know the areas that I'm failing more now than I did
then.
266
00:20:07,013 --> 00:20:17,102
So actually as a real assessment, I assess myself with a lower rate, like I'm actually,
like, shoot, 10 things I hear practical.
267
00:20:17,102 --> 00:20:22,842
like wisdom insights on my podcast, I put like one of them into action and I feel bad.
268
00:20:22,842 --> 00:20:31,442
I feel bad about the other 10 that I'm not doing because I'm having these energetic
conversations with guests like so pumped about what they're sharing with me and I'm not
269
00:20:31,442 --> 00:20:33,522
doing what they tell me to do.
270
00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:35,642
So am I an imposter?
271
00:20:35,642 --> 00:20:38,062
Am I a like my duplicit?
272
00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:46,520
Like I think these whispers like it is rubbish like we get to take one step today.
273
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:56,377
We get to pick ourselves up and take one step and choose to speak life, choose to tell our
kids how much we love being their dad, choose to read our first ever book on fatherhood,
274
00:20:56,377 --> 00:21:05,343
choose to listen to a whole episode like you said, and all of heaven is applauding that
one step.
275
00:21:05,343 --> 00:21:15,470
So that's I want them all to hear is like what I felt in the room, Jay with you and the
first balloon guys, when I stood in the front of the room and I blessed my daughter.
276
00:21:15,916 --> 00:21:17,627
Like in that, was so nervous.
277
00:21:17,627 --> 00:21:23,388
I'm a guy who runs a fatherhood ministry and I am so nervous because it's such a precious
moment.
278
00:21:23,388 --> 00:21:25,008
I'm so nervous.
279
00:21:25,569 --> 00:21:32,711
But what I felt of these men love me, love my daughter and are so pumped for me.
280
00:21:32,711 --> 00:21:37,612
Like that's just like the fractional bit of heaven, the fractional paradise of what's
real.
281
00:21:37,612 --> 00:21:44,294
Every time we choose to go walk back to our child's room after we said something a little
too harsh and say we're sorry.
282
00:21:44,948 --> 00:21:49,541
every time we choose to pray with our wife if you're married.
283
00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:58,026
Every time, like all of heaven is like thrilled and they're so proud of you and they're so
pumped that you took a step.
284
00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:05,890
that's cool thing about fatherhood is the stumbles, the tuck and rolls, the black eyes,
the faceplants.
285
00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:13,002
I need myself in the forehead, barefoot water skiing, I need myself in the forehead and
the boat comes around and they're looking at me and they're like,
286
00:22:13,002 --> 00:22:23,008
something like I literally thought that like what is wrong because I didn't know but my
tennis ball sticking out of my forehead for me myself and we feel that way in the dad life
287
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:38,096
all the time like I feel like I suck and it's not true made a mistake forgiveness love for
my heavenly father I'm a son not an orphan I get to say I'm sorry and then I that was just
288
00:22:38,096 --> 00:22:42,528
a beautiful moment of connection and closeness so that's what I that's what I want these
dads to hear is
289
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:46,620
I'm with you and as much joy as I'm bringing to this chat right now.
290
00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:55,945
The flip side could be real within 24 hours of feeling absolutely on my face and we pick
ourselves up and we're all together and we're cheering for each other.
291
00:22:55,945 --> 00:22:57,676
So that's what I want them to hear.
292
00:22:59,342 --> 00:23:16,922
It's good to see our heroes as truly human and hear the weak places and then because you
have such a big presence and personality, is that what you hide behind?
293
00:23:16,922 --> 00:23:23,174
Like if you're feeling insecure, we can take our fears and...
294
00:23:23,522 --> 00:23:31,724
our insecurities and sometimes we go passive in response to them and sometimes we become
very aggressive in response to them.
295
00:23:34,922 --> 00:23:46,128
I would imagine knowing you that you would still look really good on the outside, would
still keep performing and keep the energy up.
296
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:53,438
But it would be easy for you to hide all of that behind this
297
00:23:53,438 --> 00:23:58,516
super enthusiastic, energetic, joyful, knowledgeable guy that we're looking at.
298
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,692
Well, I would jump into both sides.
299
00:24:02,692 --> 00:24:06,954
So the RV trip, we did not put awesome on the RV.
300
00:24:06,954 --> 00:24:18,869
Partially, that was intentional because I knew the amount of moments at the RV park that
dad is struggling and not feeling any bit like so the accountability of putting awesome on
301
00:24:18,869 --> 00:24:19,899
the RV.
302
00:24:20,079 --> 00:24:20,810
Well, we didn't do it.
303
00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:22,480
So there's other factors with that too.
304
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,621
But the I mean, yesterday, yesterday,
305
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:30,038
My wife and had an argument over a headphone splitter.
306
00:24:30,038 --> 00:24:34,538
Literally, I didn't want to buy a headphone splitter for the trip that they're on right
now.
307
00:24:34,538 --> 00:24:38,958
And I wanted to look and dig for it in boxes and try to figure out in this rental house
we're in.
308
00:24:38,958 --> 00:24:49,918
And the argument escalated into a half hour wasted time in front of my six year old that
it, I mean, I called an argument, my wife would probably call it a fight.
309
00:24:49,918 --> 00:24:55,958
And it's like the opposite of being dad awesome is my six year old saw me speaking with
harshness.
310
00:24:56,344 --> 00:24:58,455
to most precious person in the world.
311
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:11,260
And so I do think it's important to say like, yeah, my joy, my golden retriever, my
energy, enthusiasm, I think sometimes because I carry it so strong, the passion is so
312
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:14,972
strong here, it can come out in really sharp words.
313
00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:16,462
my girls have seen it.
314
00:25:16,462 --> 00:25:26,206
yeah, I want you guys to hear that as well, is that's an area that I pray that I can be a
gentle giant, because I need to pray, because what slips out is not that.
315
00:25:30,242 --> 00:25:44,229
moments of my life that I regret the most are the ones that my children had to, they had
to bear the brunt of and process without the ability to process that at their age.
316
00:25:44,229 --> 00:25:49,651
I mean, we have a hard time processing the stuff that our parents did even at our age now.
317
00:25:49,651 --> 00:25:52,422
We do need counselors for that.
318
00:25:52,422 --> 00:25:53,593
Yeah.
319
00:25:58,958 --> 00:26:02,318
I've got a lot of embarrassing moments that I'm writing.
320
00:26:02,858 --> 00:26:13,298
I would say embarrassing moments, not only embarrassing moments, but moments that I need
to go to my children individually and say, I want to tell you of some of the most painful
321
00:26:13,298 --> 00:26:16,678
memories that I have, and it's where I failed you.
322
00:26:16,678 --> 00:26:25,798
And I'm simply praying right now and asking God to let me know when the appropriate time
is to do that.
323
00:26:25,798 --> 00:26:28,846
I don't want to do that too soon.
324
00:26:28,846 --> 00:26:40,029
but I don't want to wait even a day longer because I know, yeah, I just need my kids to
know how I felt about that.
325
00:26:40,029 --> 00:26:44,740
And I think some of the things they probably wouldn't even remember, but I still need to
get it off.
326
00:26:44,740 --> 00:26:49,332
And it's an opportunity for me to tell them, I love you.
327
00:26:49,332 --> 00:26:53,053
And whenever I fail you, I feel it.
328
00:26:53,053 --> 00:26:58,578
And because my heart's greatest desire and one of the greatest privileges of my life is to
love you.
329
00:26:58,578 --> 00:27:05,123
And I suffer when I don't do that well because you're such a treasure.
330
00:27:05,264 --> 00:27:13,481
So God will use those moments for good if we have the courage to go and do that.
331
00:27:13,481 --> 00:27:20,836
So anyway, I'm actually really looking forward to going to my children and having that
conversation when God gives me the thumbs up on those.
332
00:27:23,064 --> 00:27:24,042
Powerful.
333
00:27:28,504 --> 00:27:36,617
There is something that I've heard you say, that you say to your children very regularly
when you tuck them in.
334
00:27:36,617 --> 00:27:45,521
And I know it's so simple, but it's so powerful and it could be the best starting place
for a dad.
335
00:27:45,561 --> 00:27:47,412
You know what I'm talking about?
336
00:27:47,628 --> 00:27:48,478
I do.
337
00:27:48,478 --> 00:27:53,601
Yeah, I and I it's it's framed differently.
338
00:27:53,601 --> 00:28:01,074
Sometimes I expand on it, but really it's it's telling them by with their name that I love
that I get to be your dad.
339
00:28:01,074 --> 00:28:06,226
It's just it's emphasizing identity and delight.
340
00:28:09,281 --> 00:28:10,344
It's huge.
341
00:28:12,876 --> 00:28:25,733
And I know a large number of men whose lives were radically changed because they heard
their father in heaven say something exactly like that.
342
00:28:26,534 --> 00:28:37,880
There's nothing, there's nothing that bestows identity or worth purpose more than that
right there.
343
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,922
So, well done for articulating that.
344
00:28:42,318 --> 00:28:49,536
and for seeing the fruit of that in your own household.
345
00:28:50,774 --> 00:28:54,015
It's, yeah.
346
00:28:55,496 --> 00:28:58,978
well, it ties with what you just shared and actually, yeah.
347
00:28:58,978 --> 00:29:03,600
So now that I live in Florida, I carry, I'm wearing these lightweight shorts more often.
348
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,541
It's harder to carry a knife on me, in Florida.
349
00:29:06,541 --> 00:29:17,656
So I have to like keep it on my desk or my laptop case, but this was gifted to me, at a,
at a muster that our mutual friend Pablo hosted, but I think, know, Greg Winters, do know
350
00:29:17,656 --> 00:29:18,476
Greg?
351
00:29:18,596 --> 00:29:18,846
yeah.
352
00:29:18,846 --> 00:29:19,356
Yeah.
353
00:29:19,356 --> 00:29:25,229
he gifted me his knife one year after my dad passed away.
354
00:29:25,229 --> 00:29:32,673
And the affirmation with this gift was your heavenly father is still fathering you.
355
00:29:32,673 --> 00:29:44,108
So that every time I reach for this knife, every time I, my hand brushes past it, I'm, I'm
reminded that my heavenly father
356
00:29:44,256 --> 00:29:45,967
is still fathering me.
357
00:29:45,967 --> 00:29:54,159
And the fact that it is a knife as a reminder versus I've been gifted a few other just
reminder gifts, like a compass and some other things.
358
00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:59,740
But this, to me, some of it, we're about to buy a house down here in Florida.
359
00:29:59,740 --> 00:30:08,733
And the amount of areas that I feel like I need fathering because it's intimidating or
it's a new frontier.
360
00:30:08,733 --> 00:30:13,422
Like this knife is just a reminder of I'm not alone.
361
00:30:13,422 --> 00:30:14,583
I'm not alone.
362
00:30:14,583 --> 00:30:15,884
can stumble.
363
00:30:15,884 --> 00:30:26,001
I can make a mistake that costs money because the mistake I had to buy some, you know,
something new to make up for it or bring in some professional help because I tried, I
364
00:30:26,001 --> 00:30:27,332
thought I could get there and I couldn't.
365
00:30:27,332 --> 00:30:33,176
Like, I've had flat tires on my bicycle before in very tricky locations.
366
00:30:33,176 --> 00:30:40,361
Like the longest bridge, the seven mile bridge in the Florida Keys, I got stuck halfway on
that bridge with a flat tire.
367
00:30:40,361 --> 00:30:42,670
And I had to remember
368
00:30:42,670 --> 00:30:47,730
and even do some breath prayers, but also like remember, my heavenly father is still
fathering me.
369
00:30:47,730 --> 00:30:50,210
I'm not a failure because I can't change this tire right now.
370
00:30:50,210 --> 00:30:51,070
I'm not a failure.
371
00:30:51,070 --> 00:30:51,830
It's not who I am.
372
00:30:51,830 --> 00:30:53,830
I am a loved son of God.
373
00:30:53,830 --> 00:31:05,210
And so the whisper to my daughters of letting them know who they are, that they're loved,
that they're mine, you know, it's right around prayer time so they know that they've got a
374
00:31:05,210 --> 00:31:06,210
heavenly father as well.
375
00:31:06,210 --> 00:31:10,414
Like this like triple, like it's a big deal.
376
00:31:10,414 --> 00:31:25,134
for them and my littlest, my three and a half year old, the way she dances, the way she
laughs, the way she plays pretend imaginary play, I think it's because she knows how loved
377
00:31:25,134 --> 00:31:25,934
she is.
378
00:31:25,934 --> 00:31:32,694
Like truly, like all my girls have done that, but she's got the compounded love from my
wife, from me, and from her three big sisters.
379
00:31:32,694 --> 00:31:34,974
All think she is amazing.
380
00:31:34,974 --> 00:31:35,850
And she,
381
00:31:35,850 --> 00:31:40,293
she knows it with such delight because it's still it's not a show off type amazing.
382
00:31:40,293 --> 00:31:41,650
It's not a look at me.
383
00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:43,495
I care if you're looking at me or not.
384
00:31:43,495 --> 00:31:46,677
She's just like so free.
385
00:31:46,677 --> 00:31:50,239
And that's what I want for my girls in every phase.
386
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:58,365
And I don't see it as often in my 11 year old as I used to because she's in that like,
man, dreamer to dancer.
387
00:31:58,365 --> 00:31:59,446
man.
388
00:31:59,826 --> 00:32:00,947
Yes.
389
00:32:00,947 --> 00:32:05,650
So so but I think that we're laying this is the
390
00:32:05,716 --> 00:32:09,388
think a story out of Will Smith's book around laying bricks in this wall.
391
00:32:09,388 --> 00:32:11,250
His dad made him build this wall.
392
00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:14,512
And we're laying bricks with every whisper before bedtime.
393
00:32:14,512 --> 00:32:20,835
We're just laying a foundation that it doesn't like, it doesn't add up in one night.
394
00:32:21,855 --> 00:32:22,507
It grows.
395
00:32:22,507 --> 00:32:23,737
It grows.
396
00:32:23,866 --> 00:32:24,982
Yeah.
397
00:32:26,094 --> 00:32:29,414
Well, there's so many directions that we could go.
398
00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:43,214
I just wanted to have this conversation with you and hear more your heart on what you're
doing and just to get just a little fractional paradise as you're able to offer it.
399
00:32:43,214 --> 00:32:52,274
And even more powerfully after contending with these big questions, what does it mean to
be a good father?
400
00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:53,534
How do I become a good father?
401
00:32:53,534 --> 00:32:56,054
How do I grow as a son?
402
00:32:56,322 --> 00:32:57,903
You're doing great, Jeff.
403
00:32:57,903 --> 00:32:59,285
You're doing wonderful.
404
00:32:59,285 --> 00:33:09,753
And your daughter Kiva, who I've been able to meet and see her joy and her security when
she's right by your side.
405
00:33:09,753 --> 00:33:14,477
And also when you're not there, she's totally secure.
406
00:33:15,018 --> 00:33:22,383
reading her feedback, she knows she's loved and it's really obvious.
407
00:33:22,684 --> 00:33:25,486
friends, if you want to learn more,
408
00:33:25,502 --> 00:33:40,370
There is so much to learn and it's very accessible if you will go to dadawesome.org and
you're just going to have fun scrolling and seeing all these conversations.
409
00:33:40,370 --> 00:33:46,694
just Holy Spirit, which one of these short, easy, practical, fun conversations should I
listen to?
410
00:33:46,694 --> 00:33:54,678
just whatever the Holy Spirit tells you to click, just click on it and enjoy and let it be
a feast for you.
411
00:33:55,138 --> 00:34:01,180
Becoming a good father is exactly what we are made for.
412
00:34:01,340 --> 00:34:09,322
We are called to the ministry of fatherhood, and men who are made in the image of God are
made in the image of the perfect Father.
413
00:34:09,322 --> 00:34:13,123
So we are designed and intended to be fathers.
414
00:34:13,123 --> 00:34:23,666
And to the degree that we did not get what would make us the perfect Father, we are also
sons that God will meet on the journey to help us become that.
415
00:34:24,989 --> 00:34:27,791
expertise, part of our brilliance.
416
00:34:28,952 --> 00:34:33,955
And what we get to offer to our children is our own personal stories of redemption.
417
00:34:33,976 --> 00:34:47,305
It's their ability to see us growing, and it's their invitation to see us become utterly
dependent on God.
418
00:34:47,305 --> 00:34:54,550
That's what they need to see that they can trust God and to become utterly dependent on
Him.
419
00:34:55,855 --> 00:35:00,249
If several years ago, if I could have chosen the kind of father that I would be.
420
00:35:03,416 --> 00:35:15,454
That vision would have involved different cars, different house, different property,
different toys, different vacations, and a very different schedule on my part.
421
00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:21,400
and they would not have been what my children need.
422
00:35:22,460 --> 00:35:29,623
They have needed for me to be utterly dependent on God.
423
00:35:29,623 --> 00:35:41,288
They have needed to see God come through for them and help them find somebody to teach
them how to ride horses and how to go to school.
424
00:35:41,288 --> 00:35:45,210
There's these impossible barriers and obstacles that
425
00:35:45,256 --> 00:35:57,350
we as fathers get to partner with our kids in and say, hey, I don't have the resources, I
don't have the knowledge, and I didn't grow up with any of that, but how about we go to
426
00:35:57,350 --> 00:36:00,991
our father and ask him to meet us here?
427
00:36:01,391 --> 00:36:03,672
And that's my story.
428
00:36:03,672 --> 00:36:10,414
And it sounds, Jeff, like that's been a huge part of your story, is inviting your children
to come.
429
00:36:10,498 --> 00:36:15,500
to God's awesomeness, that waterfall of His abundance and provision and protection.
430
00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:23,538
So the degree that fatherlessness is being revealed in you, that's your frontier.
431
00:36:23,538 --> 00:36:30,996
And we begin taking small steps and God meets us right there to help us keep walking.
432
00:36:31,136 --> 00:36:41,771
And Jeff, thank you for being such a great example of that and for being such a great
curator of these incredible conversations with wonderful men who are fully human.
433
00:36:42,051 --> 00:36:45,443
All of us trying to figure out how to do this together.
434
00:36:45,443 --> 00:36:48,614
We really do need one another.
435
00:36:48,714 --> 00:36:57,288
So before we go, I just wanted to ask you, Jeff, what would you want to say before we
close out?
436
00:36:59,726 --> 00:37:07,877
You know, I wasn't wasn't going to mention this, but I felt it kind of rise up a little
bit when you were mentioning next steps and finding a podcast and something that's not on
437
00:37:07,877 --> 00:37:21,332
the website at all is we've offered 20 dads so far this opportunity to be in a six week
kind of sprint to learn everything that I've learned in now seven years of the ministry.
438
00:37:21,332 --> 00:37:27,466
We just take 10 dads at a time through we call it the dad awesome accelerator, but we just
chosen to kind of keep it off the
439
00:37:27,466 --> 00:37:32,068
off the menu and to see who God brings to us.
440
00:37:32,068 --> 00:37:40,432
So it would be a joy if maybe there's a couple dads from your family at Being Sons that
would want to be a part.
441
00:37:40,432 --> 00:37:43,299
All they have to do is email dadawesome.org.
442
00:37:43,299 --> 00:37:48,575
So we created a ping back, an email address just for that experience and it will shoot
them right back all the info.
443
00:37:48,575 --> 00:37:50,056
So it's dadawesome.org.
444
00:37:50,056 --> 00:37:52,697
And so that's the secret way to learn about the accelerator.
445
00:37:52,697 --> 00:37:55,418
one thing, and that is,
446
00:37:56,142 --> 00:38:01,886
You know that that popped into my heart as a what I would want them to know as we say
goodbye.
447
00:38:02,122 --> 00:38:06,209
I probably would just add an exclamation point to what we we've already.
448
00:38:06,209 --> 00:38:13,634
We've gone around this a couple times, so don't want to be laborless, but the level of
being dad average.
449
00:38:14,555 --> 00:38:20,399
Being at times dad angry being at times you feel dad awful.
450
00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:25,152
I feel that yesterday like but guess what like.
451
00:38:25,396 --> 00:38:30,487
we get to still be their dad and come back from it.
452
00:38:30,487 --> 00:38:40,900
the my heart is just to like say like, this is not people joke about dude perfect that
like I'm trying to create because it's called dad awesome like this like, yeah, awesome
453
00:38:40,900 --> 00:38:47,342
dads that just like look and feel and think and talk like they've got it all figured out
with their trick shots of dad hacks.
454
00:38:47,342 --> 00:38:55,288
No, like, I just want to add this exclamation point of like, God's heart is he's with us
Emmanuel.
455
00:38:55,288 --> 00:38:57,679
We're heading into Christmas, he's with us.
456
00:38:57,679 --> 00:39:09,102
And he is so, like, he's so glad that you're on this journey of being, we say being dad
awesome, but that means you're all over that continuum.
457
00:39:09,102 --> 00:39:10,583
It's all over.
458
00:39:10,643 --> 00:39:21,496
Because the heart is, they need to see both sides and they want to know that you're in the
highs and lows, you're their dad and you love them and you're, so.
459
00:39:21,496 --> 00:39:33,946
That's to just overly simplify a kind of goodbye here of like, like, guys, just stay in
the game and keep praying for them and keep stepping towards them and keep apologizing.
460
00:39:33,946 --> 00:39:36,840
And, God is pumped for that.
461
00:39:39,118 --> 00:39:43,385
Will you pray for us as dads before we close up?
462
00:39:44,396 --> 00:39:45,388
love to.
463
00:39:45,795 --> 00:39:47,531
God, thank you for Jay.
464
00:39:49,294 --> 00:39:56,877
Thank you for the gift that he's given to my family and my four daughters and my wife.
465
00:39:57,077 --> 00:40:08,852
Thank you for him putting his arm around my oldest daughter and me and communicating that
he's for us, he loves us, he's cheering for us, he's praying for us, he's been
466
00:40:08,852 --> 00:40:11,754
thoughtfully preparing to invest in us.
467
00:40:11,754 --> 00:40:14,164
I felt all of that and I feel it today.
468
00:40:14,625 --> 00:40:17,706
And God, thank you that Jay is actually just a
469
00:40:18,354 --> 00:40:26,396
a sliver of making you known to me because that's your posture, is you are for each of
these dads listening.
470
00:40:26,396 --> 00:40:27,657
You love them.
471
00:40:27,657 --> 00:40:29,707
You're preparing good things for them.
472
00:40:29,707 --> 00:40:32,978
You are planting courage deep in their hearts.
473
00:40:32,978 --> 00:40:37,529
You are preparing little God moments that are going to be unexpected joy bombs.
474
00:40:37,529 --> 00:40:48,162
God, I just pray that as I pray for Jay and grateful for Jay in this prayer, I just pray
that every dad listening would know, they would know that all of heaven
475
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,471
is cheering them on.
476
00:40:50,772 --> 00:40:57,016
And I pray that they would have more courage to show up with their whole hearts for their
kids.
477
00:40:57,077 --> 00:41:02,371
And I pray that more of these dads listening would come to First Flu and they would come
to First Track.
478
00:41:02,371 --> 00:41:08,536
Scott, I pray in Jesus' name that you would bring a turning of the hearts fathers to kids.
479
00:41:08,536 --> 00:41:10,658
And I know it's happened because they're still listening right now.
480
00:41:10,658 --> 00:41:11,488
It's happened.
481
00:41:11,488 --> 00:41:12,669
We're grateful for it.
482
00:41:12,669 --> 00:41:14,501
So thank you for this time, this conversation.
483
00:41:14,501 --> 00:41:15,321
Thank you for Jay.
484
00:41:15,321 --> 00:41:18,826
May you multiply in unexpected ways.
485
00:41:18,826 --> 00:41:23,609
a 10 times, 20 times, 100 times his expectations for the dads he's going to reach.
486
00:41:23,609 --> 00:41:25,443
We pray this in Jesus' name.
487
00:41:25,445 --> 00:41:26,336
Amen.
488
00:41:27,522 --> 00:41:36,833
Sons, friends, thanks for joining Jeff Zaugg and I as we walk a mile on the true and
tested road of being sons.
489
00:41:36,833 --> 00:41:39,255
And we'll talk to you next time.
490
00:41:39,476 --> 00:41:41,658
Thanks so much, Jeff, for being with us.
491
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:43,421
My pleasure.
