A Microdiscectomy Journey: From Ambulances And Tears To Walking, Lifting, And Hope

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I can cuddle my kids again.
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I can lift my kids up.
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That's the bit that always makes me tear off a bit of going like that.
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Welcome to Bed Back and Beyond, sharing positive stories of recovery from serious back or neck injury.
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Your host is CK, a fellow champion who draws on her own experience with permeated disc surgery.
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Join her as she talks with others who have overcome the physical and emotional trauma of a painful injury.
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And discover for yourself how you can find hope and encouragement in recovery.
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Hi, and welcome to this episode of Bed Back and Beyond.
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On today's episode, I am joined by Sammy, all the way from Australia.
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Sammy, thank you so much for agreeing to do the podcast.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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Before we dive into your back injury, how about you tell us a little bit about yourself?
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Yeah, sure.
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So I'm Sammy.
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I live in Sydney, Australia, just about 30 minutes out of the CBD.
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I'm 35 years old.
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I'm married with two kids, a five-year-old and a three-year-old.
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I work in professional administration, sort of EA type work in a school music band program.
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Grew up doing a lot of dancing, a lot of very active, healthy lifestyle stuff, until everything came crashing down, as we will get into.
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You told me that you just had your surgery in June, correct?
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Correct, yeah, the end of June.
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So when did your back issues start?
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Um so it was towards the end of April.
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I had started to notice a like bizarre sensation.
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I kept sort of referring to it as a sensation down the outside of my right upper thigh.
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Um, I was actively going to the gym at the time, doing a lot of strength training, weight sort of circuit classes.
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And I thought I'd pulled a muscle, like I thought I'd hurt my hamstring or my gloat or something.
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And so I was doing lots of stretches for that.
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And I went on a family vacation, it's Anzac Day at the end of April here, where we've got a public holiday.
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And I was talking with one of my aunties, and she had a similar sensation down the side of her leg.
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And I was like, Oh, that's really weird.
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She's active too.
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Like, have we called the same muscle?
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What are we doing?
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And my mum, who's a nurse, was listening to both of us, going, Are you sure it's not your back?
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Is your back sore?
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I'm like, No, it's nothing to do with my back.
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It's my leg.
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Like, what are you talking about?
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And so that was now what I know was the start of things was just this like pins and needles something down the side of my leg that I had no inkling was anything related to back.
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During my second pregnancy, I thought I had had what Google symptoms sort of related to sciatica.
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Um, and so then when there was little bits of mention of back pain and sciatica stuff, I was like, no, I had that.
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Like, that's this is nothing like that.
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This is in a totally different place.
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You've got no idea what you're talking about, anyone else, just dismissing anything like that.
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Little did I know how right they were.
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And so then that from April then through all of May just continued.
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So the whole of May I continued working.
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I drive 30 to 45 minutes to get to work and do the kid drop-offs and stuff.
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That started becoming more and more painful.
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Um, doing my desk job started becoming more and more uncomfortable.
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It was a particularly busy time at school.
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We had just event after event, performance after performance.
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So it was just go, go, go.
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Like it's not life or death work, but I'm very loyal, I'm very committed to my work, and so I wasn't gonna let anything hold me back, sort of thing.
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And I just kept pushing through.
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Um, we got sort of to the end of May, and like my mum, every time I was dropping the kids off to her, she would see me in the morning struggling to get in and out of the car and going, You need to go and talk to someone, like what's going on?
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And I was like, Yeah, okay, it's just it's busy, you know, it's fine.
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Like, I'm just a little bit stiff, it's a little bit sore.
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I was trying to massage like pressure points with a tennis ball and stuff, still just thinking I had a knot.
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I just thought there's a knot, big, like knotted muscle in my leg that's pinching on something, doing something, it'll be fine.
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And shout out to my colleague Lindsay at work between her and my mum, just going, stop what you're doing, go to the physio, go to the physio, go to the doctor, go see someone.
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This is not getting better, it's getting worse.
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You're looking so stiff and uncomfortable.
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And it was towards the end of May when I started getting to work saying, I can't feel my foot when I'm driving.
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And so this was in my right leg.
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We drive on the right side of the road, so that's my accelerator foot and everything, like that's what I'm driving with.
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And I started losing sensation in my foot, especially when I was in the seated position.
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Um, and that's what made a few people really go, like, you can't keep doing that now.
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That's really dangerous.
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You can't have your kids in the car, you can't be driving long times like that if you can't feel your foot.
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What are you gonna do?
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Um, so I finally went and had a physio appointment.
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I think this was the 2nd of June.
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That's then when I sort of talked through all the symptoms and we did the typical tests that I now know are sort of what they do with the heel strength and all the flex strength test stuff.
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Yeah, like figuring through all these things.
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I went into this appointment literally thinking the physio was going to give me like a leg and glute massage and just release this big knot, and I would be better.
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And I would just walk out of there and go, cool, my pain's gone.
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We're fine.
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And then it was it sat down, pulled out the little model of the spine and pelvis and started poking around and showing me.
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And he's like, I suspect you've got a disc bulge and it's pinching the nerve, and it's sort of like a maybe an L4, L5, L5, S1.
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I don't know, but this is what this is.
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And he tried to do a couple of things sort of while I was on my side, where he would create some space in my spine and try to move things to also get a bit of like sometimes that works for people, I can't remember what it was called.
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Um, he tried that and it was obvious that there was nothing happening, and we like we kept trying to bless him.
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I booked her a half an hour appointment.
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He gave me a full 65 minutes to really just go through it and work through it with me, didn't charge me any extra, um, and just sat me down and in the nicest possible way, just sort of said, like, there's there's no quick fix for this.
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This is what's happened, and I think you need to go and have an MRI and see what we're dealing with.
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Now, can your physios order the MRI or did you have to then go to uh a specialist?
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He was able to order the MRI, but then there was not much he could do from that point.
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So he was like, once you have the MRI, you'll need to make a GP appointment to go and see the doctor who can then do any specialist referrals once we know what we're working with.
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And he sort of said, I think you should go and see them anyway, in case they can give you some pain medication and make things a bit more comfortable for you.
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Because at that point it was just paracetamol and ibuprofen just trying to touch whatever that could.
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Uh we're back twins in that my back issues started in April.
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Well, it was 2019.
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Oh, okay.
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But yeah, it started in April.
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Uh, but then I had like a massive herniate disc event in June.
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Yeah.
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And my surgery was in August.
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But yeah, so I have no event, nothing happened that we can pinpoint a moment.
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And I think through my daily life of I've got a German shepherd, so walking the dog similar to you.
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They pull, twist, do random things, um laundry, dishwasher, moving furniture and instruments at work, sitting at my desk too long, lifting up the little kids, twisting around in the car, going to the gym.
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Like it could have been anything.
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And there was no key event.
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And I don't even recall when it got worse, it but it did.
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It just was sort of snowballing in the background until it was moving more down my leg and then into my foot, and that real pins and needles stuff was going around.
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Um, and I can't even quite remember when the pain got so bad.
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But I started having, I think you can relate to these, the like cramps in the middle of the night when you can't get out of bed.
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And that pain just that like paralyzes you almost.
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And waking up the first couple of times that happened, I was able to like slowly maneuver myself like sideways so I could get my left foot on the floor.
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I sleep on the left side of the bed so I could get my left foot on the floor, and then I'd like have to wedge myself up because I had no control of my right leg and wedge myself up and sort of eventually get up to standing and hobble out and just start walking around.
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But then after a couple of nights of doing that, I think I woke up at 3 a.m.
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screaming and crying, and I just just I couldn't move, I was stuck, and the like panic and fear that sets him from not knowing what's happening.
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Um, and my husband had to get up and help wedge me up.
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But every time he's trying to touch me and move me, I was freaking out more.
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We eventually got me up to standing, and this became this new normal of a routine at about 2 or 3 a.m.
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I would jolt awake and he would help me stand up, and then I would go and literally do laps in my house around like the kitchen island until 5:30 when the kids woke up, and then we would get everyone ready and get dressed.
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And at that point, I'd been walking around for two, three hours, and my body had relaxed a bit, so I'd get dressed and go to work.
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Like I look back on it now, going, I think we maybe should have taken the sign that something was not okay.
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Yeah.
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My pain, um, you know, it's just started in my back and then it shifted to my glute.
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And um in June, it was to the point where I was getting just a stabbing pain in my butt when I would speak up.
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Yeah.
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So after driving or just standing up from the couch, and I would have to like hold and guess.
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And the Friday before the big event, I was leaving, getting ready to leave work, and my boss looked at me and said, I think you're gonna need an MRI.
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And at this point, I was convinced that it was that piriformis syndrome.
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So it was just a muscle scene.
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Yeah.
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But then it was Saturday morning when I rolled over to get out of bed when I got hit with like that's what I call the the event screaming and writhing in pain.
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Yeah.
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Because it was like I kept getting like a lightning bolt, just like straight down the back of my leg.
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I still like the back pain was so minimal and sporadic, but it was just the leg.
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That's why I kept getting confused, being like, how is it an issue with my back when it's my leg?
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And like I understand where the nerve goes, but it still blows my mind a bit now of going, but it was just my leg.
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Like that was my problem.
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Right.
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Um, yeah.
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So then I got the MRI on the 5th of June, um, to which we'd had like the written report came straight back.
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I was at the GP office the next day.
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Um, we hadn't had the full visual and stuff, but it was pretty clear that they had found something.
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Um, so the GP at that point pulled up the local surgeon list um and referred me to a neurosurgeon who was based nearby that I could go through.
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Um then she also prescribed me the tepentadol, like an opioid thing.
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Um, and I remember telling my mum that that's what the doctor had prescribed me, and she was like, oh my god, that's like full-on meds, like this is really bad.
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Um, that medication also did nothing, which sucked, but it did help you go to sleep.
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So that was a little bit of a benefit.
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And then I got onto the pre-gabelin uh lyrica stuff, which sort of was able to do something.
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I was never prescribed any of that lyrica or I had to ask.
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I had to ask specifically because I'd been Googling it and just sort of said, like, can I try that?
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Like, because this is nerve pain, and you've prescribed this really hardcore opioid that's not touching it.
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Can I please try this?
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And thankfully they were willing and happy to do that.
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At the emergency room, I I remember they gave me an ejection of I think of an opioid of subkind, and it wasn't helping.
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And they gave me a second injection, and all that did was make me nauseous and sleepy, feeling like and they weren't gonna do an MRI that day.
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So they sent me home.
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And I was just laying there like, I just want to go home, hun.
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I find it like the amount of pain you're in that you just can't even voice and explain as to what's happening.
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Um, I'll get to like I was constantly just breaking down in tears of fear of more pain, as things would just like my cup was full.
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I can't, I can't do more pain.
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It's like I would rather birth 10 more children than be doing this right now.
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And I hate a job that was painful enough.
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But this was just next level.
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So after I met with the GP and got the referral, my I booked in with the surgeon for the 12th of June to go and meet with him and see what he wanted to do.
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The day before, I got a call from my physio.
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Again, shout out to Joe Patmore because he has just been phenomenal.
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I'm so glad I met him.
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And I feel like if I didn't meet him at that time, my whole path could have been really different.
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Um, of his own accord, he picks up the phone and calls me to say he's received the results, and he's looking at it and he goes, This is not something that I believe is going to fix itself.
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This is not something that we can treat conservatively.
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You are likely looking at surgery.
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And he just wanted to do that over the phone to let me know.
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And it was such a shock.
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I remember I was like sitting in one of the offices at work taking this call, going, Oh my god, like, oh my god, I didn't think we were at this point.
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Like it was only just over a week ago that we were talking about this and finding out, you know, it wasn't just a knot muscle, there's other things, and now we're talking about surgery.
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Surgery.
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And that's really overwhelming.
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And I am not a quick fix thing.
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I barely even touch Panadol normally when I have a headache, sort of stuff.
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So I'm like, surgery's not like an option.
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I don't understand why we're even talking about this.
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You took you said he called you, and my immediate thought was, oh, well, that's nice.
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It took the stress away about having to make the decision because it was so agonizing.
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Do I get surgery?
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Do I not?
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And I just wanted someone to tell me, get the surgery.
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Yeah, well, I was so glad that I knew then walking into the surgeon's office the next day that I'd had that precursor and I wasn't walking into the surgeon's office still going, I don't know what we're doing.
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Because I thought I was more so going to him to get the referral for an epidural to get the cortisone injection and do a few other things, and for him to be like, eh, you're not that bad.
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But this time, like I was able to walk in because of that physio call to go, okay, I am committing to surgery.
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This is gonna be that thing.
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I'm prepared, I'm ready for it.
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The surgeon, though, did recommend having the cortisone injection.
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So I was like, okay, I will go and try that.
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And he said, then you can call me in.
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I think we scheduled an appointment for like two weeks after that for a phone check-in to just say, we'll see how you're going.
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If at any point you're in too much pain, just call, we can book in the surgery.
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That's fine.
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He explained all my options and everything.
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That was great.
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Sent me home with a little pack of what it all is and does anyway, just in case.
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The day I went and got the injections, so that was just under a week later.
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I, this is where I say, like my cup was full.
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I remember I took my mum to the special clinic that did it.
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I got in the back and I literally like they laid me down on the bed and I started crying.
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I just started weeping, sort of thing.
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And they were trying, I remember they tried to put a pillow up under my legs while you're laying on your front.
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They were trying to prop my legs up, and that was causing me so much extra pain.
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And so I made them take the pillow away.
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And I'm I never send any food back, I never complain about things.
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I'm such a people pleaser.
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And I was like so proud of myself in that moment, too, that I'm like, you're in too much pain that you had to tell them to move that.
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Normally I would just sit and let it be that someone was trying to do something.
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And I'm like, that's fine.
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It's like just in so much discomfort then that I'm like, no, you take that pillow away.
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And I just started crying.
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And then I remember like the doctor came in, or whoever was issuing it, and he came and he liked tapped me on the shoulder.
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He's like, Are you okay, ma'am?
00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:16.319
I was like, I'm just, I'm so scared.
00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:17.839
Like, I'm just so scared.
00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:20.079
And I didn't know at the time what was happening.
00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:37.119
But I think I'd read things about this big needle and what it could do or couldn't do, and the fear of not knowing, and the fear of being in more pain because I was just in so much pain.
00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:40.640
I couldn't bear anything more.
00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:42.880
And I just I cried for an hour straight.
00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:44.559
I couldn't, like, I just couldn't stop.
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:53.680
So they went through, they did the injection, they hit the spot because I felt it go like all the way up to my neck and all the way down to my foot.
00:18:53.839 --> 00:18:55.839
So I think they got the nerve.
00:18:56.160 --> 00:19:04.079
Um, and that hurt as it hit, um, and then nothing after that.
00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:07.359
And they moved me out to a room I just had to sit and wait.
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:10.880
And because sitting was the hardest thing, wasn't it?
00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:16.000
So yeah, I remember like it kept having to go to these appointments, and you have to sit in a waiting room.
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:16.319
Right.
00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:18.160
And I can't sit.
00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:25.119
I would love to just sit, but I had to keep walking, I had to keep pacing.
00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:29.200
Um, I did eventually get crutches as well, which was really helpful.
00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:40.000
A friend at work just had crutches at home that weren't being used, and he brought them in for me, and I ended up like relying on them so much towards the end, right before the surgery, and just after as well.
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:42.559
Well, no, maybe not after, right before the surgery.
00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:46.799
Um yeah, the sitting was just crazy.
00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:55.839
But they sat me out after this cortisone injection, and I just howling, howling my eyes out, just still freaking out, overwhelmed and stuff.
00:19:56.079 --> 00:20:02.000
And by the time I think I was there for five minutes, and I went back out to My mum and the pain was back.
00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:05.759
So it had done an initial little thing.
00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:06.319
Right.
00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:09.440
And then that was sort of over.
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:14.880
And then I think the wherever they'd numbed it, then like it's good for a couple hours.
00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:15.359
Right.
00:20:16.079 --> 00:20:20.480
And I was just getting weird bits in and out of pain and stuff.
00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:22.319
And I was like, oh, maybe it is working.
00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:27.759
And like I'm Googling everything, going, oh, they're like, it could take days to kick in.
00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:36.400
I think even like the surgeon's advice was like it'll take, could take seven to fourteen days, but let us know how you're going.
00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:39.119
And I just kept hoping and hoping and hoping.
00:20:39.359 --> 00:20:44.960
And then yeah, like just was like two days in going, this is crap.
00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:46.079
It's now worse.
00:20:46.319 --> 00:20:47.599
It's worse than it was.
00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:53.039
And now I feel so defeated that there's no solution.
00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:55.680
And I just like, we gotta do it.
00:20:55.759 --> 00:20:56.960
We gotta do something.
00:20:57.200 --> 00:20:59.680
Did you do the quarter zone injection as well?
00:21:00.720 --> 00:21:03.200
I did one, I did one quarter zone injection.
00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:15.039
Um, I wasn't crazy about how it made me feel just like internally, and then it made me my whole leg swelled, and then uh the pain did decrease for a bit.
00:21:15.119 --> 00:21:29.519
I was I was walking around my house and I tripped going up some steps and I threw the bed leg in front of me to stop myself from falling over, and that just that jolt just sent all my pain back to oh no heightened.
00:21:29.839 --> 00:21:34.000
I had to call my husband was at work, I had to call them to come home because I was on the floor again.
00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:34.559
Yeah.
00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:42.720
And then because there were so many people saying, like, oh, it took me two or three shots when they've had like shoulder pain or hand pain and other things are like it.
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:47.119
I had to have repeat visits, and that third one, the third one was the money shot that did it.
00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:54.319
I'm like, I can't, I can't go through this, I can't keep doing this because everything is just getting worse.
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:59.599
I didn't want to try two and then three and then find out, nope, you're still gonna need surgery anyway.
00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:01.200
It cost money.
00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:13.680
It always costing money and time, and I kept like every time we were getting a little bit further, I was like, but if I'd had the surgery today, I'd be recovering and I'd be here now, and I don't want to keep delaying that.
00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:31.440
I remember actually going into the surgeon's office once I knew I had to have surgery as well, and you're reading so much information about re-herniation and how so many people with this injury re-herniate and you go through this cycle of doing it again, again, again.
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:35.200
So I was like, well, why am I doing a microdyskeptomy?
00:22:35.279 --> 00:22:41.839
Why can't I just go straight in and get the disc replaced and just I can't remember what that's called when you do the full fusion?
00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:46.640
I was like, let's just like skip all this nonsense and just cut to the money.
00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:49.440
Like, I don't want to go through multiple surgeries.
00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:52.640
So the surgeon like talked me back off the ledge of that one.
00:22:52.960 --> 00:22:53.359
Just going.
00:22:53.759 --> 00:23:00.799
So I had the epidural on the 17th of June, and then on the 20th of June, I called their office and I said, This is crap.
00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:02.160
I can't, I can't cope.
00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:03.759
Like, book me in, book me in.
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:05.759
I want it, like, I'll come in today.
00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:10.400
Um, and they booked me then for the 30th of June.
00:23:10.480 --> 00:23:15.519
And that was then set of going, okay, cool, you'll have the microdyskectomy.
00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:17.039
Then you'd think I'd be able to say it by now.
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:17.759
It's hard to say.
00:23:17.839 --> 00:23:19.680
I don't say it right because it's hard to say.
00:23:20.880 --> 00:23:22.480
Um, and that was it.
00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:27.359
So then we started on the like paperwork and all the fun stuff.
00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:35.200
So in Australia, we have public health care and private health care, um, which is great.
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:37.039
Like we have fantastic health care.
00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:39.200
I went a private route.
00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:44.720
I thought I had cover, I didn't have the right cover for this procedure.
00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:49.440
I didn't have the spinal box ticked on my coverage.
00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:52.640
So that was great because who knows what they're going to injure.
00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:56.240
And how do I know to tick the heart box or the spine box or you know?
00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:58.960
So we figured that out the hard way.
00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:01.359
But in doing so, I was still grateful.
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:03.279
So I went private out of pocket.
00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:06.559
So it was full expense for us, nothing was covered.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:19.759
But the public health care, it looked like people were in like a triage system that was making some people wait like one to two years to get this surgery.
00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:22.240
And they just kept sort of getting pushed.
00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:31.039
And unless you got to that point of having like the CES quarter, a cleaner thing, whatever it's called, that would then bump you to the top of surgery.
00:24:31.119 --> 00:24:35.839
But I'm like, I don't want to get to that point, I don't want to completely lose function.
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:40.000
I don't want to have no feeling whatsoever.
00:24:40.559 --> 00:24:42.400
I can't believe we're waiting to that point.
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:54.319
And I think the whole time, like as much as June was the real snowball climactic event for me, even with this starting in April being like a three-month burn.
00:24:54.720 --> 00:25:01.359
It's like I I'm reading things on Facebook about people living with this for years.
00:25:01.599 --> 00:25:04.720
And I just I couldn't imagine.
00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:16.720
Like towards the end, I then I think I must have stopped work not too long after the surgery was booked because it was just the pain was just getting so bad and I was not sleeping.
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:38.640
We ended up hiring a recliner chair from a company that had a lift to stand function as well, and that was a lifesaver because getting out of bed in the middle of the night with those, I kept referring to them as cramps, um, was just impossible and like disrupting the family too much.
00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:44.160
Um, because I needed my husband to have a good sleep to be able to take care of the kids because I was useless.
00:25:44.319 --> 00:25:45.119
I was useless.
00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:55.119
I couldn't do anything, I couldn't lift the kids up, I couldn't cook, couldn't clean, couldn't like just, you know, laundry was the last thing I was concerned about at that time.
00:25:55.200 --> 00:26:09.200
But I couldn't think straight, couldn't have normal conversations because I was so tired and in this perpetual fear and thing of just you're either in pain or you're scared of the pain coming back.
00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:18.480
Like you're just always thinking of pain because you're either in the pain or you know the pain is coming, and you're just in this horrible cycle.
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:32.000
And so I ended up moving out to the lounge room and lived in this recliner that I would sleep in, and then as soon as the cramp would hit in the middle of the night, I'd lift a stand and get my crutches and hobble around.
00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:39.839
And I would do my two to three hours of still just walking around the kitchen island in our house is like in an open plan living.
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:53.680
And we used to joke and probably still do joke for my son on his like little trike, he rides around like a racetrack, and that racetrack just became my track of just like and everyone knew to keep out of the way.
00:26:53.839 --> 00:26:55.839
Like, we had no toys in the way.
00:26:56.000 --> 00:27:08.640
We'd set up water bottles and like electrolyte little drinks and things on that circuit, and I would just live as soon as you'd get stuck in one of those like episodes.
00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:14.319
And I remember just like, I just want to sit down, or you'd think it had passed, and you'd go to sit down or lie down again.
00:27:14.400 --> 00:27:21.680
And as soon as you'd make that action to sit, it would seize again, and you have to get back up and start walking.
00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:36.079
And there were times where I like had no control of the leg whatsoever, and I was literally relying on my arm strength to just like claw up the couch, like get onto the back of the lift to stand chair.
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:52.079
And I was so glad it lifted, not just to get me up, but then it was tall enough for me to just hold on to the life fall, like onto that, or then be able to grab the crutches and just pull myself along with my arms until I could get some function back.
00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:59.119
Because it ended up the cramp and seizing uh would move up into my torso at times as well.
00:27:59.279 --> 00:28:09.200
And so I just like right up to my ribs, had just like no sensation, or it just felt like everything had gone hard like cement, but wow, painful.
00:28:09.759 --> 00:28:18.000
Um, it's crazy like trying to think back through at the mind, like the brain is very good at protecting you and making you forget how bad things are.
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:22.799
I didn't I didn't have that severe of leg weakness that you're you're okay.
00:28:23.039 --> 00:28:25.599
Yeah, my leg was still functioning.
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:26.240
Okay.
00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:31.599
And it was like it wasn't until after I was talking to my physio as well, of going, like, how do you know?
00:28:31.680 --> 00:28:32.880
Why didn't we do conservative?
00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:33.680
What were all the other things?
00:28:33.839 --> 00:28:38.400
And he was like, Because when I saw you, your pain was below your knee.
00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:44.640
And the fact that it was in your foot, like you had the numbness, you had tingling and all these weird sensations and pain and stuff.
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:47.599
He was like, I knew at that point we were too far gone.
00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:53.200
Like, had you come to me and it was just upper leg, we may have tried some other things.
00:28:53.359 --> 00:28:59.440
But at that point, he drew the line of going, like, no, and that's why everything sort of snowballed that way.
00:28:59.519 --> 00:29:08.319
But I've heard of other people that go in with similar situations and they do conservative methods, and I know conservative works for a lot of people, and I thought I would be a conservative type.
00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:19.440
Um, but I'm so glad that he took that indication and just set that off in that trajectory to yeah, because like yet, the pain just got worse.
00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:23.519
And I I could not have like so stopped working.
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:25.680
I was useless around.
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:41.680
I remember I was just sitting in my recliner, either walking around or sitting in the recliner, and the depression that hits you as well, of and that's I'm like, I don't know how people do this for so long or live with this, like at that level of pain.
00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:42.160
Right.
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:57.759
And like I can't speak to anyone else's pain, but if they were in that amount of pain, like I don't know, like I the literal like suicidal ideations that would creep in of going, I am such a burden to my family at the moment.
00:29:57.920 --> 00:30:00.319
Like I can't go on like this.
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:05.519
I'm useless and I'm causing more disruption, more issue.
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:06.880
I couldn't like cuddle my kids.
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:11.759
I remember them like climbing up, or you know, they'd hurt themselves.
00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:30.799
And the only way I could cuddle them was they would have to climb onto the recliner chair with me, which could only last a certain amount of time until I'd seize and then have to throw them off me to get mom guilt on top of so much mom guilt, or they'd have to climb, they learnt how to climb up onto.
00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:34.960
So my youngest was like not quite two and a half yet.
00:30:35.119 --> 00:30:41.680
And he would fall over and hurt himself, and he learned he had to climb up onto the dining table to get a cuddle.
00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:53.839
That's like we were doing nappy changes, standing on tables, doing things like early time when I could still do stuff before I needed my husband home full time to try to just get through things.
00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:57.279
But yeah, the mum guilt was just immense.
00:30:57.440 --> 00:31:01.519
And yeah, that real thought of going, like, is my family going to be better off without me?
00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:02.720
Like, is this it?
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:06.240
And you're reading horror stories because there were so many horror stories.
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:10.160
And I know this is why you have created your podcast, and thank you so much.
00:31:10.400 --> 00:31:13.920
I wish I had found it earlier as well.
00:31:14.400 --> 00:31:22.559
And I love that more and more people are coming on these chat rooms, sharing their positive stories because you do just get sucked down into this.
00:31:22.720 --> 00:31:24.240
Like, what if it doesn't work?
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:25.519
What if I reherniate?
00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:29.680
What if I'm now just caught in this cycle of this forever pain?
00:31:29.759 --> 00:31:30.079
Yeah.
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:33.039
And I like, I cannot live like that.
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:35.359
I can't, I can't live like that.
00:31:35.599 --> 00:31:38.720
Um, so that was yeah, scary.
00:31:38.799 --> 00:31:39.920
I can't remember.
00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:44.400
So surgery was June 30th of June.
00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:44.960
Okay.
00:31:45.119 --> 00:31:50.960
And just before I got into surgery as well, I do want to touch on I, it's a bit harder in Australia.
00:31:51.039 --> 00:32:03.279
I'm not quite sure where the legislation's at in America, but I did manage to get onto some medicinal marijuana, which is like still very new in Australia and hard sort of thing.
00:32:03.359 --> 00:32:05.039
I'd like a company popped up.
00:32:05.119 --> 00:32:14.160
I'd have seen a couple of people recommending things, and I was like, well, I like I've tried everything at this point, I feel, and nothing's working.
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:24.160
Like the pregaballin was doing its thing, but making you feel foggy, it was giving me like um memory loss and just general foggy forgetfulness.
00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:30.160
Um, the opioids hadn't like barely touched, they didn't touch the pain, they just helped me sleep.
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:31.920
And so I was like, Oh, I'll try this.
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:38.880
And I'd like at this point, I'd never smoked a cigarette, never did anything as a teenager sort of thing.
00:32:39.119 --> 00:32:41.839
Um, and I'm like, I just I'll give it a go.
00:32:42.079 --> 00:32:46.160
It took ages for it to arrive, for the prescription to happen.
00:32:46.240 --> 00:32:49.200
I got prescribed, there was an issue with the delivery.
00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:54.480
That finally came, like I think four days before surgery.
00:32:55.839 --> 00:33:09.920
And the like, I think that brought me back out of my depression when I finally had I had a gummy um situation because I was like, I don't know how to smoke, I don't know how to do any of this other stuff.
00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:13.279
And we got things that I was like, I just it's too scary.
00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:15.279
Just I don't want to eat the gummy.
00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:20.400
And it took like an hour, hour and a half the first time for it to work.
00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:29.759
And then, oh my god, the way that it just like found found the pain, it found the nerve.
00:33:29.920 --> 00:33:39.039
I don't know if this is everyone's case, but for anyone that is like thinking of doing it, I like try it because it might just work for you.
00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:53.759
In that it's like it wrapped my nerve in something that then just like blurred the pain and it like made me fuzzy it's gonna sound so silly, but it like fuzzied.
00:33:53.920 --> 00:34:11.440
I don't know, everything went fuzzy, but it was the most relief of pain I felt, and it was such um like miracle at that time just to have some pain relief when you're so bogged down in this never-ending cycle.
00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:11.920
Yeah.
00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:18.480
I think in the US, I think we're still technically a state to state as far as legal.
00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:25.519
So I'm in Pennsylvania, it is legal, but you could drive over to say New Jersey and it not be legal.
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:28.239
So I I think that's where we are, it's still state to state.
00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:35.519
But I know the president uh Trump just changed the classification of marijuana to a to a lighter type drug.
00:34:35.679 --> 00:34:40.000
So I think maybe research will with uh with it will be easier.
00:34:40.239 --> 00:34:46.880
So yeah, but you know, my husband's a pastor, but I'm gonna say, hey, and my guest thinks I should try medicinal marijuana.
00:34:48.559 --> 00:34:54.800
I'm like so not a like yeah, drug user, anything like this as well.
00:34:54.960 --> 00:35:06.960
And so I was like the fact that I got to a point where I'm like willing to even try it, blew my mind a little bit of going, wow, you must be in so much pain that you're even considering doing this.
00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:23.599
And then the fact that it worked, and now I've become such an advocate for it in a sense, like obviously just sensibly and prescribed and all the right things, but realizing what pain relief it did give was just incredible.
00:35:23.679 --> 00:35:33.920
And I'm yeah, I'm so grateful that I got on to that because it has been the only real like ingestible medication that has done anything.
00:35:34.079 --> 00:35:36.079
So yeah, that was good.
00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:40.320
You mentioned you went to hospital one time or had the ambulance one time.
00:35:40.480 --> 00:35:42.400
I did we did get the ambulance one time.
00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:47.119
We nearly called them a couple of times, and I think it was just in this like last week.
00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:52.880
Surgery was already booked because then I remember at the hospital they just gave me some more medication.
00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:55.440
But I remember like the ambulance came.
00:35:55.679 --> 00:36:05.119
We had uh we have a green whistle in Australia, which is I think like a morphine inhaling type thing, oxycodone inhaling.
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:10.000
Um, and that was like you just see it on the TV.
00:36:10.079 --> 00:36:12.639
It was felt ridiculous that I was.
00:36:12.960 --> 00:36:15.519
I felt ridiculous even having to call the ambulance.
00:36:15.679 --> 00:36:20.719
And I was walking around doing my racetrack as they came, the paramedics came in.
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:22.480
It was 2 a.m.
00:36:23.119 --> 00:36:30.400
Um, and I just I'd been walking at that point, I think, for two hours already, and the pain was only getting worse, not getting better.
00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:42.800
I was smashing back hydrolytes, trying to drink all the water I could, doing all my normal things that I'd figured out, would like try to rest things and just got to that point of nothing was happening.
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:51.280
And I couldn't even believe then that we actually called the ambulance because that's a like we just, I don't know, you don't call the ambulance unless you've got a bone hanging out of your body and can't get somewhere.
00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:54.239
Like that's absolute last resort.
00:36:54.480 --> 00:36:56.480
Um, and then I couldn't lie down.
00:36:56.639 --> 00:37:00.719
They wanted to put me on the bed to get in the back of the van.
00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:06.559
I couldn't lie down, I couldn't move, I had to keep walking, and so then they're like giving me all this medication.
00:37:06.639 --> 00:37:16.159
I think they were um injecting me with more medication as well to just like relax me to get me down, to get me into hospital.
00:37:16.320 --> 00:37:20.079
And then yeah, they just kept me there and gave me a few more minutes.
00:37:20.159 --> 00:37:24.719
There was no additional scans because we thought I might get another scan of going, has it gotten worse?
00:37:24.880 --> 00:37:32.639
Like, have we herniated further or just everything's coming out now, or what's happening?
00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:33.920
Um, and nothing.
00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:42.239
They just they gave me the medication and stuff, and I was like hanging out in the waiting room for a while, and they were like, Well, you've already got your surgery booked.
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:54.639
Because at that point as well, I was like, Well, maybe they'll like maybe I'll get emergency surgery, maybe they'll do this or they'll do that, we'll check some things and they're like, oh no, your surgery's like in a few days, just go do that.
00:37:54.800 --> 00:37:56.159
I was like, okay.
00:37:56.400 --> 00:37:58.320
Like, I love our healthcare system.
00:37:58.400 --> 00:38:04.159
We've got a really good healthcare system, but still that just feeling like, are you taking me seriously?
00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:10.559
Do you understand how much pain I'm in and how hard that was for me to even make this call and be here?
00:38:10.639 --> 00:38:16.639
But also not wanting to detract from all the other sick injured people that are doing their things.
00:38:16.719 --> 00:38:23.760
But it's yeah, yeah, it was like such a mind game of being in so much pain and looking perfectly normal.
00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:37.119
Um, and still just like on my crutches, hobbling around, just pacing back and forth because I couldn't sit still in the waiting room, like worrying I'm being annoying, just trying to do like the smallest little walking route to just pace back and forth.
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:38.239
Um yeah.
00:38:38.559 --> 00:38:40.079
I was using a walker.
00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:41.760
A walker, okay.
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:47.360
And my 90-year-old neighbor kept uh challenging me to a race with his walker.
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:48.400
Oh well.
00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:58.480
I it's such a like I rem have described it before of going, I feel like I aged like 50 years overnight.
00:38:58.880 --> 00:39:04.960
Like it just switched all of a sudden, you're like hobbled over and not able to walk and move.
00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:05.760
I couldn't get up.
00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:12.400
Using that lift to stand chair seemed like such a thing for like, oh, I must be 90 years old to need that.
00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:20.000
Um, yeah, it was a very humbling experience to go, okay, I'm 35 and this is my life.
00:39:21.519 --> 00:39:26.239
Now, was your surgery uh were you in and out the same day, or did you have to stay overnight?
00:39:26.559 --> 00:39:27.280
One night.
00:39:27.440 --> 00:39:28.719
So stayed one night.
00:39:28.880 --> 00:39:32.800
Check-in was, I remember this annoyed me so much at the time.
00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:36.400
We had to be at the hospital by 10 a.m.
00:39:37.119 --> 00:39:41.840
And I got taken through to the pre-op area and told to get in a bed.
00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:45.760
I couldn't get in the bed because the sitting and the lying was out of point.
00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:47.119
I'm like, I just need to keep walking.
00:39:47.199 --> 00:39:48.000
I just need to keep walking.
00:39:48.079 --> 00:39:49.840
And they were like, okay, we need to get you in the bed.
00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:55.440
It's a thing they went and got because you had to fast for everything pre surgery.
00:39:55.599 --> 00:39:59.840
Um, they had to get special permission from the surgeon that they were allowed to give me some oxygen.
00:40:00.239 --> 00:40:03.440
Codone to just get me into the bed.
00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:07.519
So I think I was in the bed by about 12 o'clock.
00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:10.880
My surgery didn't actually happen until 5:30.
00:40:11.199 --> 00:40:12.880
I was like, I was so annoyed.
00:40:13.039 --> 00:40:15.679
I'm like, I could have been walking around.
00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:18.719
I could have just kept walking for hours.
00:40:18.960 --> 00:40:22.800
I did eventually get comfortable and relaxed and stuff, and that was fine.
00:40:22.880 --> 00:40:32.320
But so I think he had just back to backs, had I must have been the fourth or fifth on the list of just in and out things.
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:41.280
And I had no idea this was such a like standard procedure that people are just getting all the time, and how prevalent these injuries are.
00:40:41.599 --> 00:40:53.119
The amount of knowledge I've now taken on, and this whole new world and like club that I've joined of there are so many people, and how it's so beautiful.
00:40:53.599 --> 00:40:55.119
Yeah, it's insane.
00:40:55.280 --> 00:40:57.280
And it's just so common.
00:40:57.440 --> 00:41:00.719
Like I it's just, yeah, it's nuts.
00:41:00.880 --> 00:41:04.000
So yeah, just it was five, five thirty.
00:41:04.320 --> 00:41:10.559
Um, I went in, did my thing, and then was in my hospital room.
00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:13.360
Um, oh no, I came back out in recovery.
00:41:13.679 --> 00:41:17.519
Um did not think I was cry when you woke woke up or no.
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:18.559
No.
00:41:19.039 --> 00:41:21.280
I woke up and immediately started just sobbing.
00:41:21.599 --> 00:41:21.840
Okay.
00:41:22.239 --> 00:41:30.000
I remember I'd like people had said you might get chills and things of coming like back out from the anesthesia.
00:41:30.559 --> 00:41:37.599
Um, and I think I was just like a little bit aware of things and trying to feel things and going, can I feel my tire?
00:41:38.400 --> 00:41:48.480
I was nervous, I remember, of just being like, I'm going in for spinal surgery and like I could lose like my ability to walk.
00:41:48.639 --> 00:41:55.119
I could lose like thinking that you know, surgery's so dire, but I cannot live with this pain.
00:41:55.280 --> 00:42:04.639
I like would rather be in a wheelchair and not have my legs right now than be in this pain or just undergo the risk of surgery and whatever those risks would come with.
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:10.480
Um, and so waking up and going, okay, I can move my feet, and just going, okay, like that's okay.
00:42:10.639 --> 00:42:12.239
That's that first main bit.
00:42:12.719 --> 00:42:26.400
And then realizing that as the anesthesia was wearing off, I can't remember at what point of moving around, though, of just going, oh my God, like I'm not in that pain.
00:42:26.559 --> 00:42:33.840
That pain that had just gotten worse and worse and was just getting to such a hectic climax in those last couple of weeks.
00:42:34.719 --> 00:42:35.840
It was gone.
00:42:35.920 --> 00:42:40.960
And like, not gone, gone, but that like I must have been at 10 out of 10 pain.
00:42:41.119 --> 00:42:47.599
Um, to suddenly be at like a three or four out of 10 felt life-changing.
00:42:47.760 --> 00:43:03.280
And I think you just couldn't wipe the smile off my face because I'd had a great sleep because of the anesthetic and the pain was back to sort of where I was in April, like the just that initial bit of some leg numbness and things.
00:43:03.360 --> 00:43:07.039
And I was obviously a lot more hyper-aware of that area of my body now.
00:43:07.280 --> 00:43:10.159
Um, but that pain had gone.
00:43:10.400 --> 00:43:16.800
And I was like, great, just like I will kiss the floor, you walk on, all of you medical professionals around here.
00:43:16.960 --> 00:43:17.360
Thank you.
00:43:17.679 --> 00:43:18.960
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:22.639
Was it just the microdisectomy, or did you also get a laminectomy?
00:43:22.800 --> 00:43:24.320
No, just the microdisectomy.
00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:24.559
Okay.
00:43:24.960 --> 00:43:27.280
Endoscopic or one stitch.
00:43:27.599 --> 00:43:29.760
Oh, was it endoscopic?
00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:30.719
Yes.
00:43:31.119 --> 00:43:31.440
Okay.
00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:32.159
I think so.
00:43:32.320 --> 00:43:32.559
Yeah.
00:43:32.719 --> 00:43:33.360
Yeah.
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:35.039
Very small.
00:43:35.599 --> 00:43:36.639
The keyhole, yeah.
00:43:36.719 --> 00:43:36.960
Yeah.
00:43:37.039 --> 00:43:37.280
Yeah.
00:43:37.440 --> 00:43:38.480
Just from the back.
00:43:38.719 --> 00:43:40.639
So they go in the back.
00:43:41.199 --> 00:43:43.039
Um, yeah, a little bit.
00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:44.960
I think there was a bit of glue out one stitch.
00:43:45.119 --> 00:43:45.920
I couldn't believe it.
00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:46.639
I was going.
00:43:47.039 --> 00:43:50.639
As well, because I know you've got the option of like an orthopedic surgeon or a neurosurgeon.
00:43:50.719 --> 00:43:54.559
And the fact of going neurosurgeon sounded so dramatic.
00:43:54.639 --> 00:43:57.039
And it was like you're going in for spinal surgery.
00:43:57.119 --> 00:44:00.559
I'm like, wow, this is like the stuff of movies and TV.
00:44:00.639 --> 00:44:04.239
This is like such intense, intense surgery.
00:44:04.559 --> 00:44:06.559
I came out with one stitch.
00:44:07.039 --> 00:44:10.000
It's like, looks like I've got a cat scratch on my back.
00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:17.360
I remember going to the GP to get it checked, and because my like um my bandage had already come off by itself.
00:44:17.519 --> 00:44:19.679
And I was like, you can look at my cat scratch.
00:44:19.760 --> 00:44:21.199
And even my JP laughed.
00:44:22.159 --> 00:44:23.199
That's amazing.
00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:25.119
You have not like there's nothing there.
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:26.239
What even happened?
00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:28.320
You had spinal surgery.
00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:30.400
What were you making a big deal about?
00:44:30.480 --> 00:44:30.880
Yeah.
00:44:31.119 --> 00:44:31.440
Yeah.
00:44:31.679 --> 00:44:33.440
Like it looks so dramatic on paper.
00:44:33.519 --> 00:44:36.400
And it's like, yeah, here's my cat scratch on my back.
00:44:36.719 --> 00:44:41.599
Did you have all the um the limitations, like no bending, lifting, or twisting?
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:46.559
Yeah, I feel like the advice from hospital was pretty relaxed.
00:44:46.719 --> 00:44:51.920
There was um like a little bit of a physio um advice came around.
00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:58.159
They gave you like a little leaflet of just making sure you walk and just keep walking, but then also sitting and taking breaks.
00:44:58.320 --> 00:45:01.519
Like don't overdo it, but just keep increasing your steps.
00:45:01.679 --> 00:45:15.599
Um, doing a few things like lying on the bed and like pulling your heels into your bottom to just sort of keep that motion moving, um, and doing the like log roll to get up from bed and a few of those things.
00:45:15.679 --> 00:45:17.920
But it was pretty light on.
00:45:18.400 --> 00:45:26.960
Um, and they, when they were coming around and just seeing me up and walking and going to the bathroom and doing things as normal anyway, that was fine.
00:45:27.119 --> 00:45:38.960
They kept sort of coming and doing, um like running their fingers up and down on my feet and up my leg to try to work out where the numbness still was, and that was still there the whole way down.
00:45:39.599 --> 00:45:41.760
Um, but that was fine.
00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:43.360
I was like, it doesn't bother me.
00:45:43.519 --> 00:45:48.000
Like if my leg is numb for the rest of time, that like the pain's gone.
00:45:48.079 --> 00:45:49.039
I'm it's fine.
00:45:49.119 --> 00:45:49.679
I don't care.
00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:51.599
I didn't care about anything else.
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:59.199
I just like I wanted to go home and I wanted to just be pain-free and see what would happen.
00:45:59.360 --> 00:46:04.880
There was a fear, and I can't remember when the fear sort of then crept back in.
00:46:04.960 --> 00:46:22.719
I had such a fear of getting in and out of the car, and I remember when my mum came to pick me up from the hospital and take me home, and I could get in the car, and it didn't hurt because like getting in and out of the car towards the end was like I would just start crying and having a breakdown over the like just mental wrestling of again.
00:46:22.800 --> 00:46:24.400
Like, am I actually in pain?
00:46:24.639 --> 00:46:29.519
Am I scared of being in pain and just that ongoing mess?
00:46:29.760 --> 00:46:38.639
Um, and so I still remember after that discharge of being able to get in the car and just sit in the car for the drive home for the all of like 10 minutes it took.
00:46:38.719 --> 00:46:40.880
I was like, this is amazing.
00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:42.159
This is okay.
00:46:42.320 --> 00:46:43.280
This is okay.
00:46:43.440 --> 00:46:45.280
Like, this is good.
00:46:45.440 --> 00:46:46.079
This is good.
00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:50.400
I didn't need the crutches then, like straight away post up, didn't need the crutches.
00:46:50.559 --> 00:47:03.679
I had been on two crutches, like death grip, white knuckling these two crutches, and I just didn't need them, just sort of push them to the side, kept them handy nicely just to return to my colleague, but did not need to use them again.
00:47:03.920 --> 00:47:10.639
I went back into my recliner because I still had two weeks, one or two weeks of the hire.
00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:23.039
So I was like, I'll just see how we go with that and if I need to extend the hire period just to help me get into a comfortable position and be able to slowly lie down and stand up as needed.
00:47:23.440 --> 00:47:28.320
But within a few days, I didn't even really need that anymore.
00:47:28.480 --> 00:47:36.880
And I was able to go back to my bedroom, which was like graduating from this like pain and recovery.
00:47:37.039 --> 00:47:38.800
That was a really exciting milestone.
00:47:38.960 --> 00:47:43.199
And then it was just yeah, all the being really careful.
00:47:43.360 --> 00:47:53.199
I think I like saw it read of the like BLT online, but again, more so information from online than actually the professional.
00:47:53.280 --> 00:47:57.119
So I was glad I had read up and seen other people's tips and tricks.
00:47:57.519 --> 00:48:00.320
Um, I got one of those grabber tools.
00:48:00.480 --> 00:48:00.719
Yes.
00:48:00.960 --> 00:48:08.480
Um, that was great, and they are still handy when I find myself in a situation that's getting a little too precarious, especially just picking up kid toys.
00:48:08.559 --> 00:48:14.880
My little boy is obsessed with cars, and so we have those little matchbox cards just all over the house.
00:48:15.039 --> 00:48:18.480
And so just picking them up out of my way, that was great.
00:48:18.639 --> 00:48:25.039
And then being able to actually like help clean the house and do a few jobs just with my tool.
00:48:25.199 --> 00:48:42.159
I eventually even ended up figuring out how to do like a load of laundry using my grabber tool, and I just would slowly, just one at a time, do my things, and I just like had to find peace with this new, really slow pace of going, okay, we just can't rush.
00:48:42.400 --> 00:49:00.960
And because I was a dancer growing up, like just hobby dancing, nothing professional or anything, I could like was quite um had enough flexibility and strength in my legs to still just like do a good squat where I would literally do a grand plaie down to get anything and come back up.
00:49:01.039 --> 00:49:03.199
So I didn't have to move my torso at all.
00:49:03.360 --> 00:49:08.400
There was no twisting, bending, any of that, and I just relied on my legs.
00:49:08.639 --> 00:49:14.320
Um I do recall there was a moment where I was like, I think actually dancing is going to get me through this.
00:49:14.480 --> 00:49:39.440
I've got to get back into a ballet mindset where we engage that core and we lock everything in, and it's arms and legs, and that torso is just holding strong, and we're making everything work and doing a few of those bar exercises, just pulling up YouTube videos and getting back into that ballet mindset of really like re-engaging everything.
00:49:39.599 --> 00:49:45.360
I've like just made sense to me, and that really worked for me and just helped me protect myself.
00:49:45.519 --> 00:49:45.840
Yeah.
00:49:46.079 --> 00:49:55.599
Um, and I was really grateful for that to then like the slow build up, like those first two weeks of not doing anything was pretty intense.
00:49:56.079 --> 00:50:08.880
Um, and the like the phantom bits of pain or the random bits of pain that then would come back and because every time you just cough or sneeze, right, and think, oh my god, I've reherniated it.
00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:11.440
That's it, that's it, it's done, crap.
00:50:11.599 --> 00:50:15.920
And then a couple hours would pass, and you'd be like, Okay, it's okay, we're back again, okay.
00:50:16.639 --> 00:50:21.280
Like in a fear, or you'd like bend down to get sound and go, oh no, that's it.
00:50:21.519 --> 00:50:22.639
Ow, that hurts.
00:50:22.800 --> 00:50:24.159
Oh my gosh, no, we're done.
00:50:24.239 --> 00:50:24.880
That's it.
00:50:25.119 --> 00:50:28.000
Like, done like, no, it's okay, it's okay.
00:50:28.159 --> 00:50:42.320
Um, I think you talked about like post-surgery inflammation and stuff, which yeah, had no idea about, but now that makes so much sense as to what I was actually feeling and going through.
00:50:42.639 --> 00:50:46.159
Um I see it the most on the the Reddit forum.
00:50:46.320 --> 00:50:50.480
About 10 days after surgery, people will get on there and I think I reherniated it.
00:50:50.639 --> 00:50:51.920
I'm in from the pain again.
00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:53.920
I was like, what day are you post-surgery?
00:50:54.079 --> 00:50:54.880
10 or 14?
00:50:55.039 --> 00:50:57.039
Well, it's might just be inflammation.
00:50:57.199 --> 00:50:59.360
You know, call your doctor and ask for help.
00:50:59.679 --> 00:51:05.280
A sneeze or a cough was I got to a point where I couldn't sneeze or cough.
00:51:05.360 --> 00:51:15.119
And I remember I was so scared of getting a cold pre-surgery because that was the worst pain that would just send the full lightning bolt down the nerve.
00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:22.400
And so then post-stop, when there were like the little coughs, or then I'd go through moments and realize I could cough without pain, and that was so exciting.
00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:31.599
But then I'd do a big sneeze and I would just sit still for like an hour, freaking out, going, no, no, this can't be my undoing.
00:51:31.760 --> 00:51:40.800
And because I think I read one story, one time, that a woman said she got like a coughing attack and just had this really big cough and threw her back out again.
00:51:40.880 --> 00:51:44.000
And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is just it's so scary.
00:51:44.159 --> 00:51:50.480
And because I didn't have an incident, like I had no known thing.
00:51:50.639 --> 00:51:55.199
And what now, like the physio still says, because I keep badgering him, going, what did I do?
00:51:55.360 --> 00:51:55.840
What happened?
00:51:56.000 --> 00:51:56.400
What was it?
00:51:56.480 --> 00:51:57.760
Was it this gym exercise?
00:51:57.840 --> 00:51:58.719
Was it picking the kid up?
00:51:58.800 --> 00:51:59.119
What was it?
00:51:59.280 --> 00:52:12.400
He's like, it's just wear and tear, it's just genetics and lifestyle sort of things, just the culmination of all this stuff, and something's happened, but there's no given thing.
00:52:12.559 --> 00:52:28.960
And I don't know if that's a blessing or a curse because I don't have a specific thing to avoid, but at the same time, it means I'm not scared of one thing in particular and being nervous about that, that it was just being careful with everything, and the importance of walking.
00:52:29.039 --> 00:52:37.679
Like walking really was the best medicine for all of it through the pain, all those nights, getting up, just walking, walking.
00:52:37.760 --> 00:52:39.119
I did so many steps.
00:52:39.360 --> 00:52:42.239
I lost all my appetite because of the pain as well.
00:52:43.039 --> 00:52:46.800
I was like, I'd lost so much weight just because I couldn't eat.
00:52:47.199 --> 00:52:48.480
I did the opposite.
00:52:49.039 --> 00:52:52.800
Alright, I couldn't because I was in the recliner so much as well.
00:52:52.960 --> 00:52:55.119
I couldn't eat lying down.
00:52:55.440 --> 00:52:58.639
I was living off like these vegan protein bars.
00:52:58.719 --> 00:53:00.079
I don't eat dairy.
00:53:00.239 --> 00:53:12.480
Um, and so I found these like chocolate vegan protein things that were fine, and I could eat them, and they gave me enough energy, and I would have like two of them a day, and that's what I was living off, like in the bad stages.
00:53:12.719 --> 00:53:15.199
We have an ice cream store here called Dairy Queen.
00:53:15.440 --> 00:53:16.079
Okay, yeah.
00:53:16.239 --> 00:53:18.880
Yeah, and I that would be like my favorite place.
00:53:19.280 --> 00:53:21.760
Yeah, my depression treatment.
00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:24.159
I need Dairy Queen, I need a blizzard.
00:53:24.719 --> 00:53:29.039
Well, they're definitely like earlier than that, and then like post op.
00:53:29.280 --> 00:53:31.920
Like, yeah, there was a lot of snacking involved.
00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:35.119
And that was just because you just needed something to take your mind off it, right?
00:53:35.199 --> 00:53:37.920
Like I couldn't even watch, I love TV and movies.
00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:42.800
I watch a lot of TV and movies, but I couldn't even watch things properly.
00:53:42.880 --> 00:53:44.400
Like I just couldn't get into it.
00:53:44.480 --> 00:53:50.000
I was so distracted by stuff that it was just yeah, it's nuts.
00:53:50.079 --> 00:53:53.039
But so the walking, the walking was so good.
00:53:53.840 --> 00:53:57.039
Now you mentioned that you are now back in your in the gym.
00:53:57.440 --> 00:54:00.159
How soon after surgery did you start going to the gym?
00:54:00.480 --> 00:54:13.440
Um, so I went back to the physio, I think it was like three weeks post-op, and I was back to work two, three weeks after surgery as well.
00:54:13.679 --> 00:54:21.679
Um, just light duties, sort of doing a half hybrid, half from home, half in the office as best possible.
00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:26.800
Um, I remember like my boss thought I'd be off for a good like four months or maybe the rest of the year.
00:54:26.880 --> 00:54:28.559
Like we just didn't know what it was.
00:54:28.719 --> 00:54:30.000
But I was feeling fine.
00:54:30.079 --> 00:54:37.760
I was like, as long as I don't bend a move and do stuff, the hardest thing was just getting back up to driving the car long enough.
00:54:37.920 --> 00:54:43.119
Um, and because there was still just a bit of fatigue if I'd be in the car for more than 15 minutes.
00:54:43.199 --> 00:54:49.039
And so then I was slowly building that up, and then I could get back to the office and doing that, which felt good.
00:54:49.119 --> 00:54:56.639
I wanted to work, I needed that distraction just so I could get back to normal and have something to do and take my mind off things.
00:54:56.880 --> 00:55:02.159
And then so I went back to the physio and I started doing gentle things with him.
00:55:02.239 --> 00:55:15.039
Once we got to the six-week mark, um, I was able to really increase the exercises with him and get back into just doing like full squats and stuff.
00:55:15.199 --> 00:55:27.039
I just remember, I remember I just wanted to stretch because I was like, I feel like my body has just cramped up and seized itself in order to protect itself as well.
00:55:27.199 --> 00:55:37.519
As much as the pain was cramping before that, I think everything had just like closed ranks and the whole body was working to just protect that lower back.
00:55:37.840 --> 00:55:46.639
Um, and just like every step and anything, not realizing how tense I was over my entire body.
00:55:46.880 --> 00:55:56.239
And I remember saying to the physical, I'm like, I just want to stretch, I just want to like get down into a deep lunge and just really stretch out my hips and do stuff.
00:55:56.320 --> 00:56:01.360
And he finally like gave me the green light for that, which was so exciting.
00:56:01.519 --> 00:56:11.760
And then I went back to yoga first to just do a couple of stretch things to sort of ease in and figure out if I could.
00:56:12.000 --> 00:56:32.000
And because I think the what is still like that thing you have to realize is the delay of the pain and figuring out for yourself, and what for me is realizing that it really is like a 24-hour delay, that I'll suddenly then get a pain and go, Oh, what did I do yesterday?
00:56:32.159 --> 00:56:34.480
Not that, like, oh, what did I just do?
00:56:34.800 --> 00:56:50.960
It's oh, I did something yesterday that I went a bit too hard, or I've now like the residual stuff is sort of like a little internal alarm that's like you need to move more, you need to drink water.
00:56:51.280 --> 00:56:57.440
Like either you've had too much salt or too much alcohol, um, or you've not been to the gym enough.
00:56:57.599 --> 00:57:03.840
And because the gym, even early days, I remember I'd go to the gym and I'd be like, it feels a bit better.
00:57:04.079 --> 00:57:08.880
So I thought that's why I thought it was muscular and just needed to be warmed and stretched.
00:57:09.039 --> 00:57:12.880
Um, and still now I've gotten back to that point as well.
00:57:13.039 --> 00:57:28.480
I went back to weights, must have been about eight to ten weeks post after the physio had sort of said, yep, we'd figured out I was doing weighted squats and some lunges and a few different things at that point.
00:57:28.639 --> 00:57:37.119
We ruled out doing any like hinging motion, so any like deadlifts and things like that just don't work.
00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:40.000
And I may never be able to do again, but that's okay.
00:57:40.079 --> 00:57:42.239
There's other ways to work those muscles.
00:57:42.400 --> 00:57:52.000
My physio sent through a list, like a traffic light list to my gym and said these are the green light, that's what she can do, no issues.
00:57:52.159 --> 00:57:57.920
Um, and then my like orange ones are just introduce one at a time.
00:57:58.000 --> 00:58:10.639
So then we can watch the delay pane and figure out what's good or not, and then just a couple of things on the red list, like the deadlifts and stuff that are like just no, just give an alternative to it.
00:58:10.960 --> 00:58:14.480
The main class I do at the gym is like a weight circuit.
00:58:14.639 --> 00:58:14.880
Okay.
00:58:15.360 --> 00:58:19.280
So they'll put up the activities on the board and we just run through the circuit.
00:58:19.599 --> 00:58:28.159
And now the routine is just I talk to the trainer that day, and I'm like, hey, I need a um substitute for that one, that one.
00:58:28.239 --> 00:58:32.800
And now I mostly know my substitutes as well that I can just go through it.
00:58:32.960 --> 00:58:42.239
Um, when I first started back, I was back just lifting like two kilowatts, feeling a bit scared and just getting over that fear and going, okay, I'm here.
00:58:42.400 --> 00:58:44.159
This is fine, we're gonna move.
00:58:44.320 --> 00:58:45.760
And it felt so good.
00:58:45.840 --> 00:58:49.119
I'm in such a beautiful, small local gym.
00:58:49.280 --> 00:58:52.159
Um, be your best for anyone in Western Sydney.
00:58:52.320 --> 00:58:54.079
Um, and they're amazing.
00:58:54.159 --> 00:59:01.679
They were so supportive with letting me pause my membership and doing all the things and reaching out, keeping an eye on me, and then having me back and making all these adjustments.
00:59:01.760 --> 00:59:08.000
And I don't want to be a burden on anyone, as I said, of like, I don't want to be trouble, I just want to come do my thing, I don't want to distract from stuff.
00:59:08.159 --> 00:59:14.639
Um, but they let me do my own exercises on the side as I need to, and I slowly built up the confidence.
00:59:14.800 --> 00:59:26.960
Um, so I'm lifting a lot more weight now and doing pretty much like the full set of exercises with everyone else, still in mind of substituting what I need.
00:59:27.119 --> 00:59:27.360
Yeah.
00:59:27.519 --> 00:59:44.320
Um, and I've noticed sort of week by week, just the confidence that came back through that like two-month mark, three-month mark, where I would just like my body relaxed and I was able to move about more freely.
00:59:44.480 --> 00:59:59.760
And people at work would always sort of comment on my inherent danciness that would pop out as I'd be walking up and down the hallway, or just the way I would toil around going to the photocopier or something, and that started to.
01:00:00.159 --> 01:00:09.519
Come back because there would be a bit more just fluidity in my torso as my body got more confident and that trust and relaxation was back.
01:00:09.599 --> 01:00:18.159
And that was such a um turning point for me when I could feel that because I have so much trust for my body, I listen to my body, I trust the pain.
01:00:18.239 --> 01:00:25.280
I think through dancing and doing all that stretching and injury and stuff anyway, like you just learn to listen to your body so much.
01:00:25.440 --> 01:00:32.159
And so when it started to tell me it was okay, um, that was really exciting.
01:00:32.480 --> 01:00:41.840
Um are less concerned now, six months later, with reherniation than say the first month after surgery.
01:00:42.159 --> 01:00:43.199
Yes, absolutely.
01:00:43.280 --> 01:00:46.239
Absolutely time, right?
01:00:46.320 --> 01:00:49.679
It that's all it takes is time to stop that fear.
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:55.039
And I remember the surgeon in my like post-op appointment was like, okay, cool.
01:00:55.119 --> 01:00:58.960
He sort of like looked at his handiwork and was like, Great, that's healing well.
01:00:59.119 --> 01:01:00.880
Look at what I did, la la.
01:01:01.119 --> 01:01:02.800
And then he's like, okay, off you go.
01:01:02.960 --> 01:01:04.880
And I'm like, what do I do?
01:01:05.039 --> 01:01:06.000
What do I not do?
01:01:06.079 --> 01:01:06.800
What's the go?
01:01:06.880 --> 01:01:10.960
And he's like, You go live your life and hopefully I never see you again.
01:01:11.039 --> 01:01:14.480
And I'm like, Yeah, but what do I do?
01:01:14.639 --> 01:01:15.599
What don't I do?
01:01:15.760 --> 01:01:17.119
How do I not do this again?
01:01:17.280 --> 01:01:17.519
Yeah.
01:01:18.159 --> 01:01:19.360
Just don't be crazy.
01:01:19.519 --> 01:01:22.239
Don't go lift a hundred kilos tomorrow.
01:01:22.559 --> 01:01:26.559
But work yourself back up, slowly, gradually do things.
01:01:26.639 --> 01:01:28.159
Like I was still lifting the kids up.
01:01:28.239 --> 01:01:34.000
I've read people saying, like, keep them standing up on chairs and on tables before you pick them up.
01:01:34.079 --> 01:01:36.800
We were still doing the on top of the table cuddles.
01:01:37.039 --> 01:01:47.440
I remember like slowly getting back into before I went back to the office full-time, like trying to take them up to the mall to see family and have coffee and stuff.
01:01:47.679 --> 01:01:51.679
And my son tripped over and like skinned his knee.
01:01:51.840 --> 01:01:54.320
And I was like, I can't bend down.
01:01:54.480 --> 01:02:00.639
I just sat on the floor and just cuddled him in the car park on the floor because that was still the only way I could do it.
01:02:00.719 --> 01:02:02.079
I couldn't pick him up.
01:02:02.400 --> 01:02:07.119
Um, as that mum gets guilt sets in, and you're going, I've just got to do what I can do.
01:02:07.280 --> 01:02:07.599
Yeah.
01:02:07.840 --> 01:02:15.920
And now I can like I still get down into a proper squat and they know to jump up, but I can cuddle my kids again.
01:02:16.000 --> 01:02:17.440
I can lift my kids up.
01:02:17.599 --> 01:02:22.639
That's the bit that always makes me tear off a bit of going, that's priceless.
01:02:22.719 --> 01:02:28.239
And like you just the things you take for granted, uh, it's amazing.
01:02:28.400 --> 01:02:34.320
And up until four months, just before four months, I still had pain.
01:02:34.480 --> 01:02:43.760
I had this ongoing thing where I felt like I had band-aid on my middle toe, and the last three toes on my foot were numb.
01:02:43.920 --> 01:02:46.079
Like I just had weird, not fully numb.
01:02:46.159 --> 01:02:51.760
I could feel them if you poke them, um, but forever just a weird feeling.
01:02:51.920 --> 01:02:59.519
Um, and still a bit of numbness on the outside of my leg that was slowly receding up my lower leg and then just in my upper leg.
01:02:59.679 --> 01:03:03.840
But there was still pain, the constant pain was just humming around in the background.
01:03:03.920 --> 01:03:08.000
But again, this like two or three out of ten pain that just was nothing at that point.
01:03:08.159 --> 01:03:09.199
You're so used to it.
01:03:09.360 --> 01:03:12.880
I'm like, maybe this is just my new normal.
01:03:13.039 --> 01:03:17.199
Maybe like because you're trying to measure going, when am I going to feel better?
01:03:17.360 --> 01:03:21.360
And a few people had said it takes as long to heal as it takes for the injury.
01:03:21.440 --> 01:03:23.760
And so, and okay, that's was three months.
01:03:23.840 --> 01:03:27.039
I'd had the pain up until then having the surgery.
01:03:27.119 --> 01:03:29.280
So I'm like, well, it'll take at least three months.
01:03:29.440 --> 01:03:34.480
And my kids kept asking because I got out of hospital and I got home and I still couldn't do things.
01:03:34.639 --> 01:03:37.119
And they're like, but you're better now, you're fixed now.
01:03:37.280 --> 01:03:40.719
I was like, Mummy is better, mummy will be better.
01:03:40.880 --> 01:03:43.119
We're still we're getting better every day.
01:03:43.360 --> 01:03:44.719
Give me till Christmas.
01:03:44.880 --> 01:03:46.719
Like next year, mommy will be good.
01:03:46.880 --> 01:03:50.559
I just I needed to help communicate that with them.
01:03:50.719 --> 01:03:50.960
Yeah.
01:03:51.119 --> 01:03:54.880
And that actually helped give me a good milestone as well.
01:03:54.960 --> 01:04:06.880
Of going, I'm just gonna throw that out that way and go, give yourself five, six months and stop trying to have these tiny goals because it's gonna make you insane every time you feel a pain or you have something.
01:04:06.960 --> 01:04:08.639
Like it's going to take time.
01:04:08.719 --> 01:04:10.719
It's inflammation, nothing's linear.
01:04:10.800 --> 01:04:12.880
You'll have a good day, you'll have a bad day.
01:04:13.199 --> 01:04:14.400
Is it Christmas yet?
01:04:14.639 --> 01:04:14.880
No.
01:04:15.119 --> 01:04:17.599
Stop stressing, give yourself until Christmas.
01:04:17.679 --> 01:04:21.679
I was saying it to the kids and I'm saying it to myself of going, give yourself that long.
01:04:22.320 --> 01:04:32.960
Um, and it was the four-month mark um where I suddenly noticed that I didn't that I was in pain.
01:04:33.119 --> 01:04:37.840
And I'd be like, oh, that that means I had a break from pain.
01:04:38.400 --> 01:04:39.840
The pain was back.
01:04:40.480 --> 01:04:42.239
So I'm having a break from pain.
01:04:42.320 --> 01:04:48.800
I was so excited to be in pain because it meant I hadn't been feeling it 24-7.
01:04:49.199 --> 01:04:49.440
Yeah.
01:04:49.599 --> 01:04:52.719
Um, and I started to notice that more and more.
01:04:53.199 --> 01:05:05.199
And now I'm listening to this signal that's literally like what people use their smartwatch or their phone for, and they set a reminder to drink water and to get up and stand up from their desk and do things.
01:05:05.519 --> 01:05:09.280
I get these, like, it's not even a flare.
01:05:09.360 --> 01:05:28.320
Like, I do still get sciatic flares and stuff that can be quite painful, but it's the twingy bits that start at the beginning of that that I'm like, oh, gotta go drink some water, or definitely ate too much salt over the weekend, or I was off the gym for a week and a half because the family had a virus.
01:05:28.639 --> 01:05:32.960
Um, and my body told me, like, it's like you we gotta go back.
01:05:33.280 --> 01:05:35.280
It started that pain.
01:05:35.440 --> 01:05:41.119
Um, just last week I did my class and I went in on the Monday and I was in so much pain.
01:05:41.199 --> 01:05:42.719
Like my leg was really sore.
01:05:42.800 --> 01:05:44.800
And I was like, oh man, what have I been doing?
01:05:44.960 --> 01:05:46.159
We're getting close to Christmas.
01:05:46.239 --> 01:05:47.760
There's a bit more drinking and stuff going on.
01:05:47.840 --> 01:05:54.159
I'm like, okay, I think like I've really got to just stay hydrated, keep moving, let's get this sorted.
01:05:54.559 --> 01:06:00.800
And I'm halfway through the class and we've just been doing like nothing too crazy with the weights either.
01:06:00.880 --> 01:06:03.440
But I was like, I don't think I can keep going with this.
01:06:03.519 --> 01:06:08.960
I think I've got to throw the towel in and go for a walk and just let the leg stretch out and do its thing.
01:06:09.199 --> 01:06:15.519
Um, but I was like, no, I'll just I'll keep going because we were just then going into arm weights primarily.
01:06:16.159 --> 01:06:20.880
And then within the next 10-15 minutes, I noticed it had gone.
01:06:20.960 --> 01:06:24.480
And by the end of the class, no joke, I was pain-free.
01:06:24.559 --> 01:06:29.440
And I remember coming home and I walked in and like saying to my husband, I'm like, Jeff, it's gone.
01:06:29.599 --> 01:06:32.400
Like, do you remember how uncomfortable I was before I went to the gym?
01:06:32.480 --> 01:06:33.599
And now it's gone.
01:06:33.840 --> 01:06:40.320
I don't know if it's the warming up, the limbering, the stretching of it, just getting everything moving again.
01:06:40.559 --> 01:06:40.800
Right.
01:06:41.039 --> 01:06:44.400
How much that mobility actually helps.
01:06:44.880 --> 01:06:48.400
Um, just from I really have learned that moving is medicine.
01:06:48.880 --> 01:06:54.880
Before my injury, I would just uh I would go still whenever I used to throw my back out like every other year.
01:06:55.119 --> 01:06:55.440
Okay.
01:06:55.519 --> 01:06:55.760
Yeah.
01:06:56.079 --> 01:06:57.519
And I would go still.
01:06:57.760 --> 01:07:03.199
And now if my back starts aching again, I keep doing the knee lifts and moving.
01:07:03.519 --> 01:07:04.400
What a difference it makes.
01:07:04.639 --> 01:07:05.039
It's amazing.
01:07:05.119 --> 01:07:07.679
But it is that Goldilops because you don't want to overdo it.
01:07:07.840 --> 01:07:10.239
You can't do too much, but you can't do nothing.
01:07:10.320 --> 01:07:15.599
And I think finding that for yourself in all aspects of life, probably.
01:07:15.679 --> 01:07:23.119
We've all got our Goldilops of things that work and don't work, but especially for this, where that not overdoing it, but you cannot underdo it.
01:07:23.199 --> 01:07:24.320
You have to keep moving.
01:07:24.400 --> 01:07:28.639
And it is a weird thing because you're like, I'm injured, I'm sore, I must be still, I must rest.
01:07:28.800 --> 01:07:32.079
But it's like, no, you just you gotta keep going.
01:07:32.239 --> 01:07:37.599
Just those little bits, if it's a walk down the road and back, like just do small little circuits.
01:07:37.679 --> 01:07:44.400
And I'm finding now going to the gym is just the best therapy, best work of it.
01:07:44.559 --> 01:07:46.480
Like, it's amazing.
01:07:46.559 --> 01:07:48.960
And I'm so glad I've got such a lovely community.
01:07:49.039 --> 01:08:06.800
I'm so glad I had a physio that helped get me back to that point, and he knew I wanted to get back to that point to support that and allow that to happen, and now be at a point where the band-aid feeling in my toe has finally gone, like just in the last week.
01:08:07.039 --> 01:08:15.280
Um, the sensations or anything down the outside of my leg are so few and far between that I'm like, oh, it is still there.
01:08:15.360 --> 01:08:19.119
It does feel a little bit funny when I touch the outside of my lower leg.
01:08:19.439 --> 01:08:26.319
Um, I'm also just noticed that when I like shave my legs or something, I'm like, oh, that feels a bit weird, but it doesn't detract from my life.
01:08:26.560 --> 01:08:34.000
They're just these little cookie crumbs of evidence that something happened and to remind me what I survived.
01:08:34.720 --> 01:08:44.399
Um and then when I do get a flare, again, it's like five out of ten from what it was.
01:08:44.640 --> 01:08:46.720
And now I know what it is.
01:08:46.960 --> 01:08:59.600
I can because I still think back to like trying to massage and like rolling around on tennis balls on my hamstring and putting ice and heat and stuff on my leg.
01:08:59.760 --> 01:09:01.520
Now I know to put it on my back.
01:09:01.680 --> 01:09:09.760
Now I know like where the pain actually is and what to do, to hydrate, to keep moving, to do all that.
01:09:09.840 --> 01:09:12.560
And I get through a flare so quickly now.
01:09:12.720 --> 01:09:17.199
I still, I still have some gummies left over from my prescription.
01:09:17.359 --> 01:09:19.439
My prescription's still valid, I'm legal.
01:09:19.600 --> 01:09:25.760
Um, and that still is the one thing that will just touch it if I am in a bad bit of pain.
01:09:25.920 --> 01:09:28.720
Um, I'll turn to paracetamol and ibuprofen.
01:09:28.960 --> 01:09:34.800
I was doing that a lot more when I first got back to work of just keeping that inflammation at bay.
01:09:35.359 --> 01:09:48.560
Um, but now it's like I'm not even at five months yet, and so I know it's still early and like touch wood, I'm not jinxing myself for anything, but I am so glad I had the surgery.
01:09:48.640 --> 01:09:56.319
It was the right choice for me, and coming out of it, having seen how bad it got to where I could be now, and I'm back.
01:09:56.399 --> 01:09:57.199
I'm me again.
01:09:57.359 --> 01:09:58.479
Like that talk about it.
01:09:58.640 --> 01:09:59.119
That's amazing.
01:09:59.199 --> 01:09:59.600
That's amazing.
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.800
The confidence is there, the child, like it's great.
01:10:02.880 --> 01:10:04.000
I'm normal again.
01:10:05.439 --> 01:10:06.479
I'm me again.
01:10:06.560 --> 01:10:07.760
I survived that.
01:10:07.920 --> 01:10:09.039
We made it through.
01:10:09.199 --> 01:10:23.920
I like owe a lot of thanks to a lot of people, and I'm so grateful that I've got a loving family and network that were able to rally around and get us through that financially, physically, emotionally, all the things we got it done.
01:10:24.560 --> 01:10:31.359
Um and yeah, it's just it's crazy.
01:10:32.319 --> 01:10:45.840
So if there is if there is a parent who is just or mom just at the start of their injury, what do you think as a mom who's now on this end of it, you would have to say to them?
01:10:46.159 --> 01:10:48.560
Yeah, give yourself grace.
01:10:49.199 --> 01:10:55.600
Um, the mom guilt is real, and so much of that is projected onto ourselves by ourselves.
01:10:55.760 --> 01:10:58.079
We are our own worst enemy in those moments.
01:10:58.239 --> 01:11:04.319
Kids are so resilient, they will figure it out, and they are little helpers.
01:11:04.560 --> 01:11:08.560
They are good at fetching your water bottle and the TV remote.
01:11:08.640 --> 01:11:11.119
We can train them to do these things.
01:11:11.359 --> 01:11:26.560
It's not, I was worried that my pain and them seeing me in that much pain or just being weak would like scar them or leave bad marks on them and stuff.
01:11:26.640 --> 01:11:37.600
But I think it was so good that they've been able to see me overcome something and persevere and push through for my own resilience and that they're so unbothered by it.
01:11:37.760 --> 01:11:43.920
There's that little thing every now and again where my daughter will want to paint my toenails or do something, and she's like, Oh, which one's your sore leg?
01:11:44.319 --> 01:11:48.800
Um, and that's like a weird hangover thing, but they don't, they've not remembered.
01:11:48.880 --> 01:11:55.840
It's not been a lasting thing on them in a bad way at all, which I'm so grateful for.
01:11:56.079 --> 01:12:00.000
And there were things that we felt we couldn't do, but we survived.
01:12:00.159 --> 01:12:04.880
Was it the worst thing in the world that we couldn't drive and go to that faraway park that day?
01:12:05.039 --> 01:12:06.720
No, we just we got it done.
01:12:06.800 --> 01:12:08.479
We did the things we need to do.
01:12:08.640 --> 01:12:09.680
You will find a way.
01:12:09.840 --> 01:12:15.920
The same as when you have the kid and they send you out of hospital with no manual, and you're just going, I don't know what to do.
01:12:16.079 --> 01:12:19.039
And it's all new and wonderful and terrifying.
01:12:19.680 --> 01:12:22.960
This all is, and the pain is all consuming, and that is hard.
01:12:23.039 --> 01:12:30.960
And so get as much support as you can to just focus on yourself as much as you can, which is so much easier said than done.
01:12:31.359 --> 01:12:37.199
The dishes can wait, the laundry can wait, do the main things that you need to do.
01:12:37.439 --> 01:12:45.439
And the sooner you get started on your healing journey, the better, because then it will be over and it's hard, it's gonna take a sacrifice, it will take time.
01:12:45.520 --> 01:12:52.720
And I know people put it off because they're worried about then having to recover from surgery and the delays of that and anything else.
01:12:52.880 --> 01:13:04.079
But if you are at a point where it's not gonna get better, like then do it for your kids, if not for yourself, to just be that person again to them because it can be better.
01:13:04.239 --> 01:13:08.720
I don't get I don't know if that's inspiring or not, but I hope sounds great to me.
01:13:09.680 --> 01:13:15.680
Sammy, I want to thank you so much for taking the time to share your story on Bed Back and Beyond.
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If you are a listener and you have a positive story of recovery from a back or neck injury and you'd like to share it on the show, head over to bedbackbeyond.com and click share your story.
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I would love to include your voice.
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Sammy, once again, thank you so much.
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Thank you.
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Thanks so much for having me.