WEBVTT
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Welcome back, everybody.
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If you've been anywhere near a parenting group, a Facebook mom group, a Reddit thread, you know that moms of teenagers are in the trenches.
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Are you laughing at me?
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Wait, keep going.
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Okay.
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We're out here completely baffled and asking questions like why does my kid lock their door the second they walk in?
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What does this new internet slang mean?
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And why won't they make eye contact with me in the car?
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So today I brought my favorite 15-year-old on the planet, my daughter Ella.
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And she is going to give us a print translation guide ripping apart the style and music and all of the things from Y2K.
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Are you ready to roast me in my teenage years?
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Yes.
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So when I was navigating high school, it was year 2000 to 2004.
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I wanted to talk to my friends.
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I had to use a landline phone.
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Do you know what that is?
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Yes.
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You don't sound positive.
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Do you know what a landline is?
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Yes, I think.
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What is it?
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You know, the phone with the cord, and then you have the buttons, but that's yeah.
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Okay.
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First off, are you are you talking about like a round like round buttons?
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So when you say round, are you referring to like round buttons that you have to go bling bling?
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Okay, first off, that is a rotary phone, and I am not that old.
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FYI.
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A landline phone is just one that plugs into the walls.
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Oh.
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Like the one that we used to have?
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Yes.
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Oh.
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Except we had a cordless one.
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And we did a cord one too.
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And we did have a cordless one when I was growing up at like one point in time.
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Yeah.
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But for the most part, like growing up, we had a landline that had a cord, and I had to either sit in the living room where it had no privacy to talk to my friends, or I had to get a longer cord and go into the bathroom or something like that.
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Yeah.
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Where I could like talk to people and have privacy.
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No call waiting.
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Yeah.
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That was such a thing.
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Yeah.
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There was no call waiting.
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I mean, I guess it came out like sometime when I was in high school.
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But before that, there was no call waiting.
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Have you ever heard of Business Signal?
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AOL.
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I know we were just talking about this last night.
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Yeah.
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So AOL was like high technology.
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Instant messaging was a thing.
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But also, like the phone, if you were on the internet, you couldn't talk on the phone because it used the same wire.
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Yeah.
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So if I was on the internet, nobody could call like house phone.
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Oh.
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So you can be on the phone with your friends and play roadblocks or something.
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Yeah.
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We couldn't do that.
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Oh.
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That sucked for you.
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Ridiculous.
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And I was uh setting my AOL away message.
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I would find lyrics from a song so that like my crush would know that I was like deep and dark.
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It's true.
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That's what we used to do.
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Oh, don't act like you don't do something similar.
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I don't do that.
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You put notes on your Instagram of like songs.
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Yeah.
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You're trying to tell me that those don't have like a deeper meaning.
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No.
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The notes that I put on Instagram are only strictly because I like that song.
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I don't believe you.
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Okay.
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If I wanted to text someone on my Nokia, I would have to push the number set to get to the letter S.
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On our phones, it had buttons on the phone.
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Yeah.
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It wasn't like this where you have a keyboard.
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And so the number had several letters, and you would hit the number that many times to get to that letter.
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So it had numbers, like buttons, number buttons, and every number had like two or three letters that coincided with that button.
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And so you'd have to push the button that many times to get to that letter.
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So if I'm spelling out something, I would have to do that for every single letter versus the keyboard.
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You have way more technology than I ever have.
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I don't have Snapchat.
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Well, you're not allowed to have Snapchat, but it exists in the world.
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Like you could.
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You cannot.
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I cannot.
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No, you cannot.
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You've got like, I don't know, 47 group chats going on at any given time, and you've got TikTok and Life 360 on like 900 people.
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Whereas like my family didn't know where I was until the streetlights came on.
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Yeah.
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Because that was like the time.
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Time you're supposed to go inside.
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Yeah.
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And the streetlights came on.
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Did you go inside?
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I did.
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I did.
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I mean, when I was in high school, like obviously it got to a point where I didn't because I had a job or because I didn't listen.
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Yeah, whatever.
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When you hear about how I had to communicate when I was your age, what goes through your head?
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Doesn't sound fun.
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I mean, I feel like like that was normal for you, and like now, like what I have now is like that's what I well, that's not what I grew up with, but like now, like that's my normal.
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So but I mean it's not that hard to imagine it being like that, because that was your normal, this is my normal.
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Okay.
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Do you think it felt kind of like primitive?
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Old when you hear about these things, does it make you look at me like I'm a thousand years old?
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No, not like a thousand, but sometimes I'm like, dang, my mom's kind of old.
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Dang.
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Okay.
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I'm gonna run through a quick list from like 2000 to 2004, different things, of what high school looked like for me.
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Yeah.
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And I want your responses.
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Okay.
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In the 2000s, thin eyebrows were in super popular, and that is now coming back, which is crazy to me because I'm like, did we not like learn our lesson?
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And yet I still have like a bald spot on my eyebrow.
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I mean, you can't really see it now.
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Well, I mean, it's because it's tattooed on it.
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It's tattooed.
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I did literally get my eyebrows tattooed because of how much I plucked them and then they didn't grow back.
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I mean I got some low spots.
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You do because you went crazy and you ruined your eyebrow.
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But they're coming back.
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Don't ever touch them again.
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Ever.
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Okay.
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What about fashion?
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So low rise jeans.
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Like so low rise that you could see your butt right.
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I wish my pants were actually that low rise.
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What?
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I mean Is that is that also back in?
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Yeah, that's been in.
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Oh my god.
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Like tried to make all my clothes low rise because like you can see with my sweatpants, like I fold it over once.
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Which was a thing in the 2000s.
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And like I don't I don't like like mid-rise or high rise.
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That used to be my thing, because like I was like really insecure.
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But now I'm not really insecure about my body, and like I just wish that my pants wouldn't be like right in the middle of my waist.
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It just like bothers me.
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Oh my god.
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Alright, what about have you?
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I I don't know if this is a thing, and maybe this is like too inappropriate, but like fung underwear is to have like a jewel on the back so that it would pop up above your low rise jeans and people could see your like your jeweled bong.
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There's like jewelry for like your underwear.
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Um is that a thing?
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No.
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What about um belts?
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Do you guys do belts?
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Um, belts aren't really my thing, but other people do belts.
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Like glittery belts?
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Because we used to wear glittery belts.
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Well, like I said, or like ones with like the holes in them.
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Yeah, like they have jeweled belts, like in the like the jeweled in the front, but not like jeweled all the way, but like just the metal part.
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Oh, the metal part is like the the buckle?
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Yeah, the buckle is jeweled.
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Interesting.
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What about wearing t-shirts?
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I mean, I've never done that, but a lot of people do do that.
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What about like with the collar?
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Like double collar, like two collared shirts on top of each other.
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Is that a thing?
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Not that I'm aware of.
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That was a thing in the that that sounds like that's you would wear like two polos and then you'd pop your collar.
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You'd have your collar collar popped.
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That to me that sounds ugly.
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I mean, I don't think it wasn't ugly.
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I think it probably was ugly, but like that was the fashion, that was the style.
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Like you would wear like denim skirt, like we like you wear denim skirts now.
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Yeah.
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And you'd wear them with like Ug boots.
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Oh, yeah, that's the thing.
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I would do that now.
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Like you think that's ugly?
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No, like if I had like a little sweater and then a jean skirt and I had like tights on and like uggs.
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So when you say a little sweater, are you talking about the sweaters that just cover your arms and then they're like to here?
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Oh no.
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Like a half sweater?
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No, I was talking like what I'm wearing now, but like I would have like no collars.
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Okay, okay.
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What about butterfly hair clips?
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Or any hair clips for that matter?
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Like barrettes.
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Oh, yeah.
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Is that back in?
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Like wearing a barette?
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Like a clip.
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I think, yeah, some people do that.
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I don't like wearing hair clips.
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I feel like I probably could now with my bangs.
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Get you some butterfly hair clips.
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A batforms.
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That was a thing for me.
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I love it.
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I feel like it's coming back.
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I I feel like platforms are also coming back.
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I mean, I have my platform mugs and I used to wear all those platform boots.
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That was like my thing.
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Downloading music.
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Alright, downloading music.
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So downloading music today, like what does that look like for you?
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Well, on most apps, like on Spotify, you need to have premium to download music.
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Okay.
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So I have a specific app so I can download music.
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Press the button.
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Okay.
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What's the point of downloading music?
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You can listen to it offline, like if you're like on the airplane or something like that.
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Yeah, I just do it so I can listen to it on the airplane.
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Okay.
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So when we were downloading music, it was generally for burning CDs.
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Why?
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So that you didn't have to pay for CDs.
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You didn't you would burn it so you don't have to pay for it?
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Yeah.
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Like we would download the music onto our computer, and then you would burn the music onto a CD.
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So instead of having, like let's say I really liked Usher, yeah, but I had to buy his CD and I had to listen to like 12 songs, so I only liked three of them.
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Yeah.
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So I could put like three Usher songs that I liked onto the same CD with like three brandy songs that I liked.
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And like Avril Levine, the 90s country, I could have it all on one CD.
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Yeah.
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Instead of like kind of like a playlist.
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Yeah.
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Instead of having to like only have a CD with just Usher.
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Yeah.
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Because maybe I didn't like all of Usher's songs on a CD.
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But we use something called Limewire or Napster.
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Don't know either of those.
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Well, so it was kind of crazy because sometimes you would download something and it took a really long time to download.
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Like we're not, we're talking like 45 minutes to download a song.
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And then like you spent hours creating a CD.
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Like one create one CD.
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But when you were done downloading the song, every now and then it wasn't actually the song.
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It would be like something stupid.
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Like Bill Clinton saying, you know, I did not have sexual relations with that woman, like over and over and over and over and over again.
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Yeah.
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Or sometimes it was a virus and like you like screwed up everybody's computer because it was like on my computer.
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Yeah.
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Do you know what a virus is?
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Yeah?
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Okay.
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Just making sure.
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Right.
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What about um a Walkman?
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I've heard of them.
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I never, I know, I don't I never isn't it like so you can listen to your CDs on the go.
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Well yeah.
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They came out with anti-skip analogy.
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Because sometimes with Walkman's, you couldn't take it on a run.
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Yeah.
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Because it would skip.
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Like the songs?
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Yeah.
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Not like the whole song, but it would be like it.
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Like skip.
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Oh.
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So you could only walk with it.
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Yeah.
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You're like handle it so carefully.
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Oh, my Walkman.
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Well, you're like picked up to headphones.
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Wired headphones, by the way.
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Okay.
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Alright.
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How did if you had to go through that?
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I mean.
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Would you survive?
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Yeah, I feel like most of it was fine.
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I'm just not double collar.
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Would never do that.
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I don't really like belts.
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I'd have thin eyebrows.
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I'd be fine.
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I'll just I could just tattoo my eyebrows on like you did.
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I don't know about the downloading music.
00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:02.000
I don't want to get a virus or just have some random thing.
00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:05.840
Or I don't want to take out hours downloading music either.
00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:07.279
I mean, I don't think anybody does.
00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:09.600
It takes me like three minutes at most.
00:12:09.840 --> 00:12:11.039
To download a song?
00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:11.679
No.
00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:14.240
Like to make like down the whole playlist?
00:12:14.399 --> 00:12:15.919
To download like 30 songs.
00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:17.600
It would take me like 30 minutes.
00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:18.000
Yeah.
00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:18.559
Alright.
00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:20.879
Well, I I don't know.
00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:23.200
I think that the 2000s were really cool.
00:12:23.679 --> 00:12:24.559
I mean, is it different?
00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:30.879
It's like different because technology has come so far, like, we'll never, like, you'll never experience some of the things that I experienced.
00:12:31.039 --> 00:12:31.440
Yeah.
00:12:31.679 --> 00:12:39.120
And I think it's kind of cool to like know that like my generation is really the last generation that has some of those like memories.
00:12:39.279 --> 00:12:39.600
Yeah.
00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:42.080
Because so much has changed with technology.
00:12:42.320 --> 00:12:42.720
Yeah.
00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:57.279
I want to go through like some real life comments on like Reddit and things like that when moms are asking questions, and I want you to respond how you think like teenagers are acting or why they're doing certain things.
00:12:57.519 --> 00:12:57.679
Okay.
00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:07.440
I pulled three real posts from anonymous, completely stressed out moms, and I want you to translate them for these moms.
00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:07.840
Okay.
00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:08.399
Okay.
00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:17.679
So the first one is my 15-year-old comes home from school, says two words, walks straight into their room, and locks the door for four hours.
00:13:17.919 --> 00:13:21.840
Are they angry at me hiding something or am I failing as a parent?
00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:24.559
I think it would like kind of depend on the situation.
00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:27.519
Like, what would like what would the two words be?
00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:29.039
Is it like hi mom?
00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:29.600
Five.
00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:31.120
Let's say it's hi mom.
00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:33.600
I mean, I feel like they're probably just tired.
00:13:33.759 --> 00:13:36.320
Like I would say, like they just went to take a nap.
00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:37.360
To take a nap?
00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:38.399
Yeah.
00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:41.519
But like, do you think it's because they're hiding something that they shouldn't be doing?
00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:42.960
Or I mean it could be.
00:13:43.279 --> 00:13:44.960
Like, what why are they taking a nap?
00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:46.240
Like, you just went to school.
00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:47.919
Yeah, you just went to school.
00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:50.480
So you were just at school for like eight hours.
00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:59.120
You have like 10 worksheets from all these seven classes, and you like you have to deal with people all day and then come home do more work.
00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:01.679
Do you find that dealing with people is hurt?
00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:02.080
Yes.
00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:06.559
I like I'm a social person, but I can only be social for so long.
00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:08.799
I can deal with like one person all day.
00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:21.759
Like when I have a sleepover with a friend, but it has to be someone like like I talk to a lot and like like I know them, like for me to actually be comfortable with them in my presence for like more than a day.
00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:29.759
But when it's 20 different kids, well, more than 20 because like you there's different people in each class, um, it's hard.
00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:33.039
And for me, that gets tired tiring after like an hour.
00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:35.600
Do you think that other kids feel the same way?
00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:36.879
Most likely, yeah.
00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:43.360
Do you think that that's actually because I mean, like, if you think about the difference, so like you have so much technology, yeah.
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:48.720
So when you're dealing with people, most of the time it's through technology versus in person.
00:14:49.039 --> 00:14:49.360
Yeah.
00:14:49.600 --> 00:15:00.159
Whereas when I was younger, I had to do more in-person stuff than technology based because like we didn't have the same, you know, ways of talking to people like outside of being in front of them.
00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:00.639
Yeah.
00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:09.200
So you think that that's almost like a muscle that kids this a you know, this day and age just haven't really exercised because like you don't have to.
00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:12.080
Like you don't have to go see a friend to talk to them.
00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:13.360
You can just call them on the phone.
00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:23.279
So, do you think that like because you've had less interaction, like forced interaction, I guess, but like less of that that it makes it harder when you do have to do it?
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:24.399
No.
00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:25.120
No?
00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:26.720
That doesn't make it harder for me.
00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:30.480
I don't I there's only like two people that I call.
00:15:30.559 --> 00:15:41.120
And I most of the time do not answer people's phone calls unless it's it's like you or or dad or I'll answer Izzy's calls, but that's only because I'm really close with her.
00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:46.879
But some people I purposely wait until the phone hangs up because I just don't want to talk to them.
00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:49.279
And like it, like I have nothing against them.
00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:53.679
I just don't I don't like talking on the phone, I don't like texting.
00:15:53.919 --> 00:16:04.320
I would rather see people in person, but like cool, like you get to see all your friends, but then there's other people that you don't necessarily want to interact with that will interact with you for no reason.
00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:06.639
Okay, okay, that's fair.
00:16:06.799 --> 00:16:11.279
So if a kid shuts the door, it's not necessarily an act of rebellion.
00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:11.759
No.
00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:16.080
And it's not necessarily like, oh, my mom's or my kids mad at me.
00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:16.720
No.
00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:17.200
Okay.
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:18.639
They might just be tired.
00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:20.399
All right, thread number two.
00:16:20.639 --> 00:16:29.120
Every time I pick my daughter up from school and ask her how her day was or who she was texting, she rolls her eyes or gives one-word answers, like, fine.
00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:31.200
How do I get her to actually open up?
00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:31.919
I don't know.
00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:34.080
I think that kind of comes with time.
00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:41.600
I mean, it's always been like it's normal for us to like just say everything about our day as soon as we see each other.
00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:44.799
Which is weird because you it's not like you go anywhere for school.
00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:45.679
You're with me a little bit.
00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:46.559
Well, like when I did.
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:51.840
But yeah, but like even, I mean, like, even now we're together all day long and you still talk about yourself.
00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:52.559
Yeah.
00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:58.399
So like I I don't I don't think I would really know how like with that one, because like always been like that.
00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:04.400
Do you think that there's like a possibility that like maybe somebody would feel like they're being interrogated?
00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:05.119
Yeah.
00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:06.559
So I could see that.
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:16.559
Do you think that there's certain questions that a parent could ask specifically that would be, I don't know, more interesting for a teen to look about?
00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:17.359
I'm not sure.
00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:23.359
I there's not a lot of questions that you can like necessarily ask to get something out of your teen.
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:35.119
Because like even then, teens don't like they try not to interact with their parents because like they're old or they're boring or they're just like not a lot of fun.
00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:37.039
Like they want to talk to their friends.
00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:43.440
And it's not like like they don't love them or like they don't care about their parents, but like that's just like being older.
00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:48.960
I feel like once they hit the age where like it's about to move out, that's when it changes.
00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:55.440
But like I'd say like age like 11 through like 17, that's they don't want to interact with their parents.
00:17:55.759 --> 00:17:56.079
11.
00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:57.359
That's super young.
00:17:57.599 --> 00:18:00.400
Yeah, like in the sixth grade, that's when it starts.
00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:01.359
That's terrible.
00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:02.480
I don't love that.
00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:04.480
Okay, thread number three.
00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:13.279
Um, my teen comes home crying or stressed out because of group chat drama or feeling left out after seeing posts on social media.
00:18:13.519 --> 00:18:18.640
How do I make them understand that social media isn't necessarily real life?
00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:24.720
I would also say like that's another thing that comes with time because like I still get upset like about stuff online.
00:18:24.880 --> 00:18:26.880
I don't I don't really have a lot of group chats.
00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:29.680
I don't like group chats every time I get added into one.
00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:35.599
I leave it immediately because they stress me out because it's just like way too many people talking at once.
00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:44.079
But with like posts online, you see your friends hanging out with like other friends, I feel like it's gonna make any person like feel a little left out.
00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:47.759
Um, I mean I get sad when Sam hangs out with like other friends.
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:51.519
But I feel like that's another thing that like you just have to learn.
00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:57.519
Could even though it's not necessarily like that it's fake, but maybe they're not like having that much fun and like you wouldn't know that.
00:18:58.319 --> 00:19:09.039
Do you think that like the fact that you constantly have stuff in your face, like because you have TikTok and Instagram and Facebook and like all these different ways of like people reaching out to you?
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:14.160
Like, do you think like that constant, I don't know, reminder that like they're out and you're not?
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:15.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:21.920
I feel like for me, I mean, I don't go to parties or like I'm not out every weekend.
00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:27.279
I don't necessarily leave the house except like to go to practice or like tournaments.
00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:31.119
So I would say sometimes I do feel left out, yeah.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:42.400
Um, but I also think about like like how I do I don't really like to leave the house, but like it sometimes it does like kind of hurt my feelings that like all my friends are together and like I can't be there.
00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:46.960
Yeah, and like sometimes it sucks, but like I really have to think about it.
00:19:47.119 --> 00:20:00.240
Um it sucks for like the first hour, but then after I'm like I have all these other things that I like to do and like I enjoy doing, and I have other friends that like I'm closer with, so like I don't necessarily need to be there.
00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:01.359
Yeah, that's good.
00:20:01.440 --> 00:20:02.960
That's a good way of like thinking about it.
00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:05.279
Alright, I'm gonna wrap us up.
00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:15.920
But I was hoping that you could maybe like, and I know this is kind of on the spot, but are there three rules or words of advice that you would give a parent of a teen?
00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:25.599
I would say if you want them to tell you things, you need to just let them be and let them come to you instead of just like nagging at them.
00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:27.039
So be patient.
00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:29.279
Yeah, you need to be patient with your kid.
00:20:29.519 --> 00:20:29.759
Okay.
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:38.480
Like if your kid is open opening up and like like you get upset in that process of them opening up, like for me, I tend to shut down like so.
00:20:38.559 --> 00:20:47.200
I would say just like let them talk and like process their emotions first before you give that advice or like let them hear what needs to be said.
00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:47.680
Yeah.
00:20:47.920 --> 00:20:48.559
What about?
00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:53.599
I mean, and you've kind of you've kind of like said it already in a way, but what about space?
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:57.839
Space is really important, like with a relationship with any child.
00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:07.440
I would say just give them the space they need, but don't give them too much space because that also opens the window for like like rebellion or like bad influences.
00:21:07.599 --> 00:21:08.079
Yeah.
00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:15.680
Um, so give them enough space to where like they don't feel like I try to say like you're like on top of them.
00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:19.599
Uh but also you still ask questions every now and then.
00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:22.160
Check up on them, like to make sure they're okay.
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:26.000
And also like ask about their friends and like who they're hanging out with.
00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:44.160
Do you think that that's part of I don't know, you cause you do tell me everything is because like I will ask about your friends and like what they're into and uh because like you really like you try to get to know me and not just me, but like the people that like I do allow like like get I give them my time.
00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:44.559
Yeah.
00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:50.480
And like you care, like you show me that you care because like you want to make sure I'm sp spending my time with good people.
00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:55.039
I do, and I mean that I that makes me think like, oh like my mom cares.
00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:59.680
So it does make me feel better and like make me want to tell you more, even when you don't ask.
00:21:59.839 --> 00:22:03.839
Yeah, because I don't always ask, yeah, but like you do tell me, you talk my ear off.
00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:05.599
That is phenomenal advice.
00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:06.079
All right.
00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:10.960
Well, thank you for sitting with me today and giving me some unfiltered truth.
00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:19.759
Um, to all the moms out there listening in your car at your desk, doing laundry, or just trying to figure out what the heck your teenager is doing behind that closed door.
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:20.960
Take a deep breath.
00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:23.119
Your teen doesn't hate you.
00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:27.839
They're just navigating a very loud, fast world and learning how to grow up.
00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:31.920
Um, give them space, give yourself grace, and keep the door open.
00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:34.160
Catch us right back here next week.
00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:01.360
Welcome back, everybody.
00:00:01.760 --> 00:00:12.560
If you've been anywhere near a parenting group, a Facebook mom group, a Reddit thread, you know that moms of teenagers are in the trenches.
00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:14.080
Are you laughing at me?
00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:15.599
Wait, keep going.
00:00:15.839 --> 00:00:16.000
Okay.
00:00:16.399 --> 00:00:23.039
We're out here completely baffled and asking questions like why does my kid lock their door the second they walk in?
00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:25.760
What does this new internet slang mean?
00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:29.359
And why won't they make eye contact with me in the car?
00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:33.840
So today I brought my favorite 15-year-old on the planet, my daughter Ella.
00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:42.880
And she is going to give us a print translation guide ripping apart the style and music and all of the things from Y2K.
00:00:43.119 --> 00:00:46.399
Are you ready to roast me in my teenage years?
00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:47.119
Yes.
00:00:47.679 --> 00:00:52.560
So when I was navigating high school, it was year 2000 to 2004.
00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:54.640
I wanted to talk to my friends.
00:00:54.799 --> 00:00:57.200
I had to use a landline phone.
00:00:57.439 --> 00:00:58.399
Do you know what that is?
00:00:58.640 --> 00:00:58.960
Yes.
00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:00.479
You don't sound positive.
00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:02.320
Do you know what a landline is?
00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:03.920
Yes, I think.
00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:04.640
What is it?
00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:10.079
You know, the phone with the cord, and then you have the buttons, but that's yeah.
00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:10.480
Okay.
00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:14.159
First off, are you are you talking about like a round like round buttons?
00:01:14.319 --> 00:01:20.239
So when you say round, are you referring to like round buttons that you have to go bling bling?
00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:23.760
Okay, first off, that is a rotary phone, and I am not that old.
00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:24.640
FYI.
00:01:24.799 --> 00:01:28.480
A landline phone is just one that plugs into the walls.
00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:28.879
Oh.
00:01:29.120 --> 00:01:30.719
Like the one that we used to have?
00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:31.359
Yes.
00:01:31.519 --> 00:01:31.599
Oh.
00:01:32.079 --> 00:01:33.599
Except we had a cordless one.
00:01:33.840 --> 00:01:35.599
And we did a cord one too.
00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:39.680
And we did have a cordless one when I was growing up at like one point in time.
00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:40.159
Yeah.
00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:57.120
But for the most part, like growing up, we had a landline that had a cord, and I had to either sit in the living room where it had no privacy to talk to my friends, or I had to get a longer cord and go into the bathroom or something like that.
00:01:57.200 --> 00:01:57.439
Yeah.
00:01:57.599 --> 00:01:59.599
Where I could like talk to people and have privacy.
00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:00.879
No call waiting.
00:02:02.239 --> 00:02:02.560
Yeah.
00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:03.920
That was such a thing.
00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:04.400
Yeah.
00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:06.079
There was no call waiting.
00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:08.800
I mean, I guess it came out like sometime when I was in high school.
00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:12.240
But before that, there was no call waiting.
00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:14.080
Have you ever heard of Business Signal?
00:02:14.639 --> 00:02:15.280
AOL.
00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:17.199
I know we were just talking about this last night.
00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:17.680
Yeah.
00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:20.080
So AOL was like high technology.
00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:21.840
Instant messaging was a thing.
00:02:22.159 --> 00:02:28.800
But also, like the phone, if you were on the internet, you couldn't talk on the phone because it used the same wire.
00:02:29.039 --> 00:02:29.360
Yeah.
00:02:29.520 --> 00:02:33.199
So if I was on the internet, nobody could call like house phone.
00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:33.599
Oh.
00:02:33.840 --> 00:02:38.800
So you can be on the phone with your friends and play roadblocks or something.
00:02:39.039 --> 00:02:39.360
Yeah.
00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:40.319
We couldn't do that.
00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:40.800
Oh.
00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:42.159
That sucked for you.
00:02:42.479 --> 00:02:43.120
Ridiculous.
00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:46.479
And I was uh setting my AOL away message.
00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:51.919
I would find lyrics from a song so that like my crush would know that I was like deep and dark.
00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:52.879
It's true.
00:02:53.120 --> 00:02:54.400
That's what we used to do.
00:02:54.639 --> 00:02:57.199
Oh, don't act like you don't do something similar.
00:02:57.360 --> 00:02:58.159
I don't do that.
00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:02.479
You put notes on your Instagram of like songs.
00:03:02.960 --> 00:03:03.120
Yeah.
00:03:03.280 --> 00:03:05.599
You're trying to tell me that those don't have like a deeper meaning.
00:03:05.919 --> 00:03:06.240
No.
00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:10.800
The notes that I put on Instagram are only strictly because I like that song.
00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:11.919
I don't believe you.
00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:12.400
Okay.
00:03:12.719 --> 00:03:20.080
If I wanted to text someone on my Nokia, I would have to push the number set to get to the letter S.
00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:23.599
On our phones, it had buttons on the phone.
00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:24.000
Yeah.
00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:26.400
It wasn't like this where you have a keyboard.
00:03:26.639 --> 00:03:32.639
And so the number had several letters, and you would hit the number that many times to get to that letter.
00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:42.319
So it had numbers, like buttons, number buttons, and every number had like two or three letters that coincided with that button.
00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:45.680
And so you'd have to push the button that many times to get to that letter.
00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:50.719
So if I'm spelling out something, I would have to do that for every single letter versus the keyboard.
00:03:51.039 --> 00:03:53.439
You have way more technology than I ever have.
00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:57.759
I don't have Snapchat.
00:03:57.919 --> 00:04:00.479
Well, you're not allowed to have Snapchat, but it exists in the world.
00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:01.599
Like you could.
00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:02.879
You cannot.
00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:03.439
I cannot.
00:04:03.599 --> 00:04:04.400
No, you cannot.
00:04:04.960 --> 00:04:15.120
You've got like, I don't know, 47 group chats going on at any given time, and you've got TikTok and Life 360 on like 900 people.
00:04:15.280 --> 00:04:19.040
Whereas like my family didn't know where I was until the streetlights came on.
00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:19.680
Yeah.
00:04:19.920 --> 00:04:21.680
Because that was like the time.
00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:23.759
Time you're supposed to go inside.
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:24.240
Yeah.
00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:25.600
And the streetlights came on.
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:27.680
Did you go inside?
00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:28.639
I did.
00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:30.000
I did.
00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:36.720
I mean, when I was in high school, like obviously it got to a point where I didn't because I had a job or because I didn't listen.
00:04:37.360 --> 00:04:38.240
Yeah, whatever.
00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:43.519
When you hear about how I had to communicate when I was your age, what goes through your head?
00:04:43.920 --> 00:04:45.120
Doesn't sound fun.
00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:54.639
I mean, I feel like like that was normal for you, and like now, like what I have now is like that's what I well, that's not what I grew up with, but like now, like that's my normal.
00:04:54.800 --> 00:05:01.360
So but I mean it's not that hard to imagine it being like that, because that was your normal, this is my normal.
00:05:01.600 --> 00:05:01.839
Okay.
00:05:02.160 --> 00:05:03.839
Do you think it felt kind of like primitive?
00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:08.720
Old when you hear about these things, does it make you look at me like I'm a thousand years old?
00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:14.319
No, not like a thousand, but sometimes I'm like, dang, my mom's kind of old.
00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:14.800
Dang.
00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:15.439
Okay.
00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:22.720
I'm gonna run through a quick list from like 2000 to 2004, different things, of what high school looked like for me.
00:05:22.879 --> 00:05:23.040
Yeah.
00:05:23.279 --> 00:05:25.040
And I want your responses.
00:05:25.279 --> 00:05:25.600
Okay.
00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:36.879
In the 2000s, thin eyebrows were in super popular, and that is now coming back, which is crazy to me because I'm like, did we not like learn our lesson?
00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:41.439
And yet I still have like a bald spot on my eyebrow.
00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:42.800
I mean, you can't really see it now.
00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:44.720
Well, I mean, it's because it's tattooed on it.
00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:45.759
It's tattooed.
00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:51.199
I did literally get my eyebrows tattooed because of how much I plucked them and then they didn't grow back.
00:05:51.439 --> 00:05:53.279
I mean I got some low spots.
00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:56.560
You do because you went crazy and you ruined your eyebrow.
00:05:56.959 --> 00:05:57.759
But they're coming back.
00:05:58.319 --> 00:05:59.600
Don't ever touch them again.
00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:00.959
Ever.
00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:01.360
Okay.
00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:03.519
What about fashion?
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:05.199
So low rise jeans.
00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:08.639
Like so low rise that you could see your butt right.
00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:11.519
I wish my pants were actually that low rise.
00:06:11.680 --> 00:06:12.000
What?
00:06:12.079 --> 00:06:14.079
I mean Is that is that also back in?
00:06:14.319 --> 00:06:15.680
Yeah, that's been in.
00:06:15.839 --> 00:06:16.480
Oh my god.
00:06:16.639 --> 00:06:22.639
Like tried to make all my clothes low rise because like you can see with my sweatpants, like I fold it over once.
00:06:22.879 --> 00:06:24.319
Which was a thing in the 2000s.
00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:27.920
And like I don't I don't like like mid-rise or high rise.
00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:30.720
That used to be my thing, because like I was like really insecure.
00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:38.240
But now I'm not really insecure about my body, and like I just wish that my pants wouldn't be like right in the middle of my waist.
00:06:38.319 --> 00:06:39.600
It just like bothers me.
00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:40.800
Oh my god.
00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:42.560
Alright, what about have you?
00:06:42.639 --> 00:06:55.120
I I don't know if this is a thing, and maybe this is like too inappropriate, but like fung underwear is to have like a jewel on the back so that it would pop up above your low rise jeans and people could see your like your jeweled bong.
00:06:55.600 --> 00:06:57.680
There's like jewelry for like your underwear.
00:06:57.839 --> 00:06:59.199
Um is that a thing?
00:06:59.360 --> 00:06:59.519
No.
00:06:59.759 --> 00:07:01.519
What about um belts?
00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:02.639
Do you guys do belts?
00:07:02.800 --> 00:07:06.319
Um, belts aren't really my thing, but other people do belts.
00:07:06.480 --> 00:07:07.519
Like glittery belts?
00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:08.959
Because we used to wear glittery belts.
00:07:09.360 --> 00:07:11.519
Well, like I said, or like ones with like the holes in them.
00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:19.839
Yeah, like they have jeweled belts, like in the like the jeweled in the front, but not like jeweled all the way, but like just the metal part.
00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:22.079
Oh, the metal part is like the the buckle?
00:07:22.240 --> 00:07:24.079
Yeah, the buckle is jeweled.
00:07:24.240 --> 00:07:24.480
Interesting.
00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:26.319
What about wearing t-shirts?
00:07:26.560 --> 00:07:29.920
I mean, I've never done that, but a lot of people do do that.
00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:31.920
What about like with the collar?
00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:36.399
Like double collar, like two collared shirts on top of each other.
00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:37.199
Is that a thing?
00:07:37.439 --> 00:07:38.720
Not that I'm aware of.
00:07:39.040 --> 00:07:45.040
That was a thing in the that that sounds like that's you would wear like two polos and then you'd pop your collar.
00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:47.040
You'd have your collar collar popped.
00:07:47.439 --> 00:07:49.360
That to me that sounds ugly.
00:07:49.519 --> 00:07:52.000
I mean, I don't think it wasn't ugly.
00:07:52.160 --> 00:07:55.439
I think it probably was ugly, but like that was the fashion, that was the style.
00:07:55.839 --> 00:07:59.439
Like you would wear like denim skirt, like we like you wear denim skirts now.
00:07:59.600 --> 00:07:59.680
Yeah.
00:07:59.839 --> 00:08:01.360
And you'd wear them with like Ug boots.
00:08:01.600 --> 00:08:02.879
Oh, yeah, that's the thing.
00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:03.839
I would do that now.
00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:05.120
Like you think that's ugly?
00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:11.759
No, like if I had like a little sweater and then a jean skirt and I had like tights on and like uggs.
00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:19.120
So when you say a little sweater, are you talking about the sweaters that just cover your arms and then they're like to here?
00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:19.759
Oh no.
00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:20.879
Like a half sweater?
00:08:21.439 --> 00:08:25.519
No, I was talking like what I'm wearing now, but like I would have like no collars.
00:08:25.680 --> 00:08:26.319
Okay, okay.
00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:28.560
What about butterfly hair clips?
00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:30.240
Or any hair clips for that matter?
00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:31.519
Like barrettes.
00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:32.480
Oh, yeah.
00:08:32.879 --> 00:08:33.840
Is that back in?
00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:34.960
Like wearing a barette?
00:08:35.279 --> 00:08:35.919
Like a clip.
00:08:36.159 --> 00:08:38.000
I think, yeah, some people do that.
00:08:38.159 --> 00:08:39.679
I don't like wearing hair clips.
00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:41.840
I feel like I probably could now with my bangs.
00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:44.720
Get you some butterfly hair clips.
00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:45.840
A batforms.
00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:47.360
That was a thing for me.
00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:47.840
I love it.
00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:49.120
I feel like it's coming back.
00:08:49.279 --> 00:08:52.240
I I feel like platforms are also coming back.
00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:57.360
I mean, I have my platform mugs and I used to wear all those platform boots.
00:08:57.440 --> 00:08:58.399
That was like my thing.
00:08:58.720 --> 00:08:59.679
Downloading music.
00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:01.360
Alright, downloading music.
00:09:01.600 --> 00:09:04.639
So downloading music today, like what does that look like for you?
00:09:04.879 --> 00:09:09.279
Well, on most apps, like on Spotify, you need to have premium to download music.
00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:09.679
Okay.
00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:13.679
So I have a specific app so I can download music.
00:09:14.320 --> 00:09:15.120
Press the button.
00:09:15.360 --> 00:09:15.600
Okay.
00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:17.039
What's the point of downloading music?
00:09:17.360 --> 00:09:20.639
You can listen to it offline, like if you're like on the airplane or something like that.
00:09:20.879 --> 00:09:23.279
Yeah, I just do it so I can listen to it on the airplane.
00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:23.600
Okay.
00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:28.639
So when we were downloading music, it was generally for burning CDs.
00:09:28.879 --> 00:09:29.279
Why?
00:09:29.519 --> 00:09:31.440
So that you didn't have to pay for CDs.
00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:34.720
You didn't you would burn it so you don't have to pay for it?
00:09:34.879 --> 00:09:35.120
Yeah.
00:09:35.279 --> 00:09:41.279
Like we would download the music onto our computer, and then you would burn the music onto a CD.
00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:51.200
So instead of having, like let's say I really liked Usher, yeah, but I had to buy his CD and I had to listen to like 12 songs, so I only liked three of them.
00:09:51.360 --> 00:09:51.600
Yeah.
00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:58.879
So I could put like three Usher songs that I liked onto the same CD with like three brandy songs that I liked.
00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:03.600
And like Avril Levine, the 90s country, I could have it all on one CD.
00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:04.080
Yeah.
00:10:04.320 --> 00:10:06.159
Instead of like kind of like a playlist.
00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:06.559
Yeah.
00:10:06.720 --> 00:10:10.080
Instead of having to like only have a CD with just Usher.
00:10:10.480 --> 00:10:10.799
Yeah.
00:10:10.960 --> 00:10:14.240
Because maybe I didn't like all of Usher's songs on a CD.
00:10:14.960 --> 00:10:17.360
But we use something called Limewire or Napster.
00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:19.759
Don't know either of those.
00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:25.360
Well, so it was kind of crazy because sometimes you would download something and it took a really long time to download.
00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:28.799
Like we're not, we're talking like 45 minutes to download a song.
00:10:28.960 --> 00:10:32.879
And then like you spent hours creating a CD.
00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:34.320
Like one create one CD.
00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:39.679
But when you were done downloading the song, every now and then it wasn't actually the song.
00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:41.200
It would be like something stupid.
00:10:41.360 --> 00:10:49.039
Like Bill Clinton saying, you know, I did not have sexual relations with that woman, like over and over and over and over and over again.
00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:49.600
Yeah.
00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:55.039
Or sometimes it was a virus and like you like screwed up everybody's computer because it was like on my computer.
00:10:55.279 --> 00:10:55.519
Yeah.
00:10:55.679 --> 00:10:56.960
Do you know what a virus is?
00:10:57.120 --> 00:10:57.440
Yeah?
00:10:57.600 --> 00:10:57.840
Okay.
00:10:58.000 --> 00:10:58.639
Just making sure.
00:10:58.879 --> 00:10:59.120
Right.
00:10:59.279 --> 00:11:01.360
What about um a Walkman?
00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:02.879
I've heard of them.
00:11:03.039 --> 00:11:09.440
I never, I know, I don't I never isn't it like so you can listen to your CDs on the go.
00:11:09.600 --> 00:11:10.320
Well yeah.
00:11:10.720 --> 00:11:13.919
They came out with anti-skip analogy.
00:11:14.720 --> 00:11:17.759
Because sometimes with Walkman's, you couldn't take it on a run.
00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:18.399
Yeah.
00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:19.600
Because it would skip.
00:11:19.840 --> 00:11:20.799
Like the songs?
00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:21.279
Yeah.
00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:23.519
Not like the whole song, but it would be like it.
00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:25.279
Like skip.
00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:25.919
Oh.
00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:28.080
So you could only walk with it.
00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:28.799
Yeah.
00:11:29.200 --> 00:11:31.600
You're like handle it so carefully.
00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:33.279
Oh, my Walkman.
00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:35.519
Well, you're like picked up to headphones.
00:11:35.840 --> 00:11:37.200
Wired headphones, by the way.
00:11:37.679 --> 00:11:37.919
Okay.
00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:38.399
Alright.
00:11:38.559 --> 00:11:40.320
How did if you had to go through that?
00:11:40.639 --> 00:11:40.799
I mean.
00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:42.080
Would you survive?
00:11:42.240 --> 00:11:44.720
Yeah, I feel like most of it was fine.
00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:46.559
I'm just not double collar.
00:11:46.720 --> 00:11:47.759
Would never do that.
00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:49.759
I don't really like belts.
00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:51.279
I'd have thin eyebrows.
00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:51.840
I'd be fine.
00:11:51.919 --> 00:11:55.039
I'll just I could just tattoo my eyebrows on like you did.
00:11:55.279 --> 00:11:57.039
I don't know about the downloading music.
00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:02.000
I don't want to get a virus or just have some random thing.
00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:05.840
Or I don't want to take out hours downloading music either.
00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:07.279
I mean, I don't think anybody does.
00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:09.600
It takes me like three minutes at most.
00:12:09.840 --> 00:12:11.039
To download a song?
00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:11.679
No.
00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:14.240
Like to make like down the whole playlist?
00:12:14.399 --> 00:12:15.919
To download like 30 songs.
00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:17.600
It would take me like 30 minutes.
00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:18.000
Yeah.
00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:18.559
Alright.
00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:20.879
Well, I I don't know.
00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:23.200
I think that the 2000s were really cool.
00:12:23.679 --> 00:12:24.559
I mean, is it different?
00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:30.879
It's like different because technology has come so far, like, we'll never, like, you'll never experience some of the things that I experienced.
00:12:31.039 --> 00:12:31.440
Yeah.
00:12:31.679 --> 00:12:39.120
And I think it's kind of cool to like know that like my generation is really the last generation that has some of those like memories.
00:12:39.279 --> 00:12:39.600
Yeah.
00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:42.080
Because so much has changed with technology.
00:12:42.320 --> 00:12:42.720
Yeah.
00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:57.279
I want to go through like some real life comments on like Reddit and things like that when moms are asking questions, and I want you to respond how you think like teenagers are acting or why they're doing certain things.
00:12:57.519 --> 00:12:57.679
Okay.
00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:07.440
I pulled three real posts from anonymous, completely stressed out moms, and I want you to translate them for these moms.
00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:07.840
Okay.
00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:08.399
Okay.
00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:17.679
So the first one is my 15-year-old comes home from school, says two words, walks straight into their room, and locks the door for four hours.
00:13:17.919 --> 00:13:21.840
Are they angry at me hiding something or am I failing as a parent?
00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:24.559
I think it would like kind of depend on the situation.
00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:27.519
Like, what would like what would the two words be?
00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:29.039
Is it like hi mom?
00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:29.600
Five.
00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:31.120
Let's say it's hi mom.
00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:33.600
I mean, I feel like they're probably just tired.
00:13:33.759 --> 00:13:36.320
Like I would say, like they just went to take a nap.
00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:37.360
To take a nap?
00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:38.399
Yeah.
00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:41.519
But like, do you think it's because they're hiding something that they shouldn't be doing?
00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:42.960
Or I mean it could be.
00:13:43.279 --> 00:13:44.960
Like, what why are they taking a nap?
00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:46.240
Like, you just went to school.
00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:47.919
Yeah, you just went to school.
00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:50.480
So you were just at school for like eight hours.
00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:59.120
You have like 10 worksheets from all these seven classes, and you like you have to deal with people all day and then come home do more work.
00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:01.679
Do you find that dealing with people is hurt?
00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:02.080
Yes.
00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:06.559
I like I'm a social person, but I can only be social for so long.
00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:08.799
I can deal with like one person all day.
00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:21.759
Like when I have a sleepover with a friend, but it has to be someone like like I talk to a lot and like like I know them, like for me to actually be comfortable with them in my presence for like more than a day.
00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:29.759
But when it's 20 different kids, well, more than 20 because like you there's different people in each class, um, it's hard.
00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:33.039
And for me, that gets tired tiring after like an hour.
00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:35.600
Do you think that other kids feel the same way?
00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:36.879
Most likely, yeah.
00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:43.360
Do you think that that's actually because I mean, like, if you think about the difference, so like you have so much technology, yeah.
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:48.720
So when you're dealing with people, most of the time it's through technology versus in person.
00:14:49.039 --> 00:14:49.360
Yeah.
00:14:49.600 --> 00:15:00.159
Whereas when I was younger, I had to do more in-person stuff than technology based because like we didn't have the same, you know, ways of talking to people like outside of being in front of them.
00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:00.639
Yeah.
00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:09.200
So you think that that's almost like a muscle that kids this a you know, this day and age just haven't really exercised because like you don't have to.
00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:12.080
Like you don't have to go see a friend to talk to them.
00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:13.360
You can just call them on the phone.
00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:23.279
So, do you think that like because you've had less interaction, like forced interaction, I guess, but like less of that that it makes it harder when you do have to do it?
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:24.399
No.
00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:25.120
No?
00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:26.720
That doesn't make it harder for me.
00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:30.480
I don't I there's only like two people that I call.
00:15:30.559 --> 00:15:41.120
And I most of the time do not answer people's phone calls unless it's it's like you or or dad or I'll answer Izzy's calls, but that's only because I'm really close with her.
00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:46.879
But some people I purposely wait until the phone hangs up because I just don't want to talk to them.
00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:49.279
And like it, like I have nothing against them.
00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:53.679
I just don't I don't like talking on the phone, I don't like texting.
00:15:53.919 --> 00:16:04.320
I would rather see people in person, but like cool, like you get to see all your friends, but then there's other people that you don't necessarily want to interact with that will interact with you for no reason.
00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:06.639
Okay, okay, that's fair.
00:16:06.799 --> 00:16:11.279
So if a kid shuts the door, it's not necessarily an act of rebellion.
00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:11.759
No.
00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:16.080
And it's not necessarily like, oh, my mom's or my kids mad at me.
00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:16.720
No.
00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:17.200
Okay.
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:18.639
They might just be tired.
00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:20.399
All right, thread number two.
00:16:20.639 --> 00:16:29.120
Every time I pick my daughter up from school and ask her how her day was or who she was texting, she rolls her eyes or gives one-word answers, like, fine.
00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:31.200
How do I get her to actually open up?
00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:31.919
I don't know.
00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:34.080
I think that kind of comes with time.
00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:41.600
I mean, it's always been like it's normal for us to like just say everything about our day as soon as we see each other.
00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:44.799
Which is weird because you it's not like you go anywhere for school.
00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:45.679
You're with me a little bit.
00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:46.559
Well, like when I did.
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:51.840
But yeah, but like even, I mean, like, even now we're together all day long and you still talk about yourself.
00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:52.559
Yeah.
00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:58.399
So like I I don't I don't think I would really know how like with that one, because like always been like that.
00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:04.400
Do you think that there's like a possibility that like maybe somebody would feel like they're being interrogated?
00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:05.119
Yeah.
00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:06.559
So I could see that.
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:16.559
Do you think that there's certain questions that a parent could ask specifically that would be, I don't know, more interesting for a teen to look about?
00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:17.359
I'm not sure.
00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:23.359
I there's not a lot of questions that you can like necessarily ask to get something out of your teen.
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:35.119
Because like even then, teens don't like they try not to interact with their parents because like they're old or they're boring or they're just like not a lot of fun.
00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:37.039
Like they want to talk to their friends.
00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:43.440
And it's not like like they don't love them or like they don't care about their parents, but like that's just like being older.
00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:48.960
I feel like once they hit the age where like it's about to move out, that's when it changes.
00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:55.440
But like I'd say like age like 11 through like 17, that's they don't want to interact with their parents.
00:17:55.759 --> 00:17:56.079
11.
00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:57.359
That's super young.
00:17:57.599 --> 00:18:00.400
Yeah, like in the sixth grade, that's when it starts.
00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:01.359
That's terrible.
00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:02.480
I don't love that.
00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:04.480
Okay, thread number three.
00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:13.279
Um, my teen comes home crying or stressed out because of group chat drama or feeling left out after seeing posts on social media.
00:18:13.519 --> 00:18:18.640
How do I make them understand that social media isn't necessarily real life?
00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:24.720
I would also say like that's another thing that comes with time because like I still get upset like about stuff online.
00:18:24.880 --> 00:18:26.880
I don't I don't really have a lot of group chats.
00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:29.680
I don't like group chats every time I get added into one.
00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:35.599
I leave it immediately because they stress me out because it's just like way too many people talking at once.
00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:44.079
But with like posts online, you see your friends hanging out with like other friends, I feel like it's gonna make any person like feel a little left out.
00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:47.759
Um, I mean I get sad when Sam hangs out with like other friends.
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:51.519
But I feel like that's another thing that like you just have to learn.
00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:57.519
Could even though it's not necessarily like that it's fake, but maybe they're not like having that much fun and like you wouldn't know that.
00:18:58.319 --> 00:19:09.039
Do you think that like the fact that you constantly have stuff in your face, like because you have TikTok and Instagram and Facebook and like all these different ways of like people reaching out to you?
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:14.160
Like, do you think like that constant, I don't know, reminder that like they're out and you're not?
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:15.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:21.920
I feel like for me, I mean, I don't go to parties or like I'm not out every weekend.
00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:27.279
I don't necessarily leave the house except like to go to practice or like tournaments.
00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:31.119
So I would say sometimes I do feel left out, yeah.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:42.400
Um, but I also think about like like how I do I don't really like to leave the house, but like it sometimes it does like kind of hurt my feelings that like all my friends are together and like I can't be there.
00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:46.960
Yeah, and like sometimes it sucks, but like I really have to think about it.
00:19:47.119 --> 00:20:00.240
Um it sucks for like the first hour, but then after I'm like I have all these other things that I like to do and like I enjoy doing, and I have other friends that like I'm closer with, so like I don't necessarily need to be there.
00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:01.359
Yeah, that's good.
00:20:01.440 --> 00:20:02.960
That's a good way of like thinking about it.
00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:05.279
Alright, I'm gonna wrap us up.
00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:15.920
But I was hoping that you could maybe like, and I know this is kind of on the spot, but are there three rules or words of advice that you would give a parent of a teen?
00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:25.599
I would say if you want them to tell you things, you need to just let them be and let them come to you instead of just like nagging at them.
00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:27.039
So be patient.
00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:29.279
Yeah, you need to be patient with your kid.
00:20:29.519 --> 00:20:29.759
Okay.
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:38.480
Like if your kid is open opening up and like like you get upset in that process of them opening up, like for me, I tend to shut down like so.
00:20:38.559 --> 00:20:47.200
I would say just like let them talk and like process their emotions first before you give that advice or like let them hear what needs to be said.
00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:47.680
Yeah.
00:20:47.920 --> 00:20:48.559
What about?
00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:53.599
I mean, and you've kind of you've kind of like said it already in a way, but what about space?
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:57.839
Space is really important, like with a relationship with any child.
00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:07.440
I would say just give them the space they need, but don't give them too much space because that also opens the window for like like rebellion or like bad influences.
00:21:07.599 --> 00:21:08.079
Yeah.
00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:15.680
Um, so give them enough space to where like they don't feel like I try to say like you're like on top of them.
00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:19.599
Uh but also you still ask questions every now and then.
00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:22.160
Check up on them, like to make sure they're okay.
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:26.000
And also like ask about their friends and like who they're hanging out with.
00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:44.160
Do you think that that's part of I don't know, you cause you do tell me everything is because like I will ask about your friends and like what they're into and uh because like you really like you try to get to know me and not just me, but like the people that like I do allow like like get I give them my time.
00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:44.559
Yeah.
00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:50.480
And like you care, like you show me that you care because like you want to make sure I'm sp spending my time with good people.
00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:55.039
I do, and I mean that I that makes me think like, oh like my mom cares.
00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:59.680
So it does make me feel better and like make me want to tell you more, even when you don't ask.
00:21:59.839 --> 00:22:03.839
Yeah, because I don't always ask, yeah, but like you do tell me, you talk my ear off.
00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:05.599
That is phenomenal advice.
00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:06.079
All right.
00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:10.960
Well, thank you for sitting with me today and giving me some unfiltered truth.
00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:19.759
Um, to all the moms out there listening in your car at your desk, doing laundry, or just trying to figure out what the heck your teenager is doing behind that closed door.
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:20.960
Take a deep breath.
00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:23.119
Your teen doesn't hate you.
00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:27.839
They're just navigating a very loud, fast world and learning how to grow up.
00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:31.920
Um, give them space, give yourself grace, and keep the door open.
00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:34.160
Catch us right back here next week.
