Reducing Your Stress at Work

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The following podcast is part of the Mind, Body, Spirit
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dot FM podcast network.
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Hello and welcome to Back in Control Radio with Doctor
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David Hanscombe.
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Hello everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Back
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in Control Radio with Doctor David Hanscombe. I'm your host,
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Tom Masters, and our guest today is doctor Rosina Lakhani,
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a psychiatrist specializing in the treatment of stress and the
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author of the book Stress to Joy. Welcome, Thank you.
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Hi. Resina is a psychiatrist and I'm a letter introduced
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yourself a bit. We just did a segment with her
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dealing with anxiety, depression, stress management, trying to be proactive
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about it, and in this segment here she president in Washington.
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She also does telemedicine in multiple different states. You can
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access her services through her website. She also has a
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book called Stress to Joy, which is available on Amazon,
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and she has a very proactive approach to stress, which
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I think is wonderful really based on the neuroscience of
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pain in general, and as all of you know, I
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think anxiety and stress is the pain essentially because it
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changes the body's chemistry. But we're to talk about stress
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in the workplace, and she has had all experience talking
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to people with about stress in general, but particularly relationship
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to the workplace. So Rasina, welcome back and thanks for
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your insights.
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Thank you so much, thank you. I'm so happy and
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grateful to be part of this communication. I wish we
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can help a lot of people prevent the stress and
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anxiety and depression so they could live, they could perform
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at their best, and prevent any stuff unnecessary stuff.
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My first question is that the data I've read over
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the year, I don't know if there's more recent data,
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but only about twenty five to thirty percent of people
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really love their jobs and seventy to seven five percent
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people really don't like their jobs very much. Is that
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fairly accurate data.
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I'm not sure about liking or disliking, but I do
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know that eighty percent of the people employees actually complain
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of feeling stressed at work at some time, and sixty
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percent of absenteism is associated with stress in some ways.
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What are some of the main causes of stress at work?
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Well, I just recently did an article for American Institute
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of Stress. We have a quarterly magazine that comes out
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it's called Contentment, and so I wrote an article called
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seven Ways to dodge job stress. But I identified seven
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reasons and how to dodge it, and maybe I can
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go through that if you like.
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That'd be perfect. Let's just go through one at a
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time and chat about a little bit. What's the first one?
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And before I go into first one, I want to
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share how do you identify if you are actually feeling
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stress related to work? So I have five questions and
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you can ask yourself. Do you feel emotionally exhausted many
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days at work? Do you find yourself getting more irritable
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than usual? Are you finding that your focus is not
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as sharp as usual? Are you finding that you're getting
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less productive than usual? Or are you losing the job
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satisfaction you used to have? And if you are, your
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answers would reveal if you are getting stressed at work
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and if it stresses you're causing you to be at
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risk of feeling burnout or developing depression or anxiety.
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And how do you define burnout? What's your definition of
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job burnout?
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When you start losing this satisfaction and your productivity goes
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down and you are not finding the ability to perform
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as the as you would like to, and you start
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having these irritability, anger, sleep issues. It has not developed
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into depression yet or you know, a disorder yet, but
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you are at this risk where it has progressed from
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mild stress to being at brink of burning out.
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Right. I mean I, as you know, I went through
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a really severe burnout which really lasted about fifteen years,
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which is a really long time, but I eventually came
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out of it. And I now define burnout is are
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you a person who looks at the week as thank
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God it's Monday or thank God it's Friday. And I
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would say the last six or seven years, I was
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just excited about Monday, ready to go. And of course
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before that I wasn't quite the same way. But that's
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one of my most simple definition to burnout for me.
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And you say you have seven different questions you have
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people ask themselves or she have different methodologies to identify
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work stress and solve it.
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Yeah, there could be more, but I've identified these most
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common causes as I observe in people who I have
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treated over the last twenty years. And so the first
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one I have felt is when people have started forgetting
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the purpose why they started doing this work in the
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first place. And let me give you example of a
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patient who was a legal assistant, and she was very
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passionate about it. When she went into this field, it
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excited her to go to work and she wanted to
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help people uh get justice and and uh be able
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to get whatever they are entitled to so that they
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can live their life fully. So she was always passionate
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about it. She goes into the field and if she starts,
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time started passing. She started getting like most of us,
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we start getting focused on day to day tasks and
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you know, the paperwork and the time issues and you know,
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all these things that happened that we start getting why
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we went into the field in the first place. And
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so she started feeling really stressed. And so then we
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went through the three steps of stress to joy when
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we you know, we focused on cp R, calming down, processing,
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and then responding. So as she's she used the mindfulness
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techniques and progress the muscle relaxation techniques, and it helped
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her calm down her reactivity mental reactivity that she was
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having and her body that was getting tense and stress
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all the time. And when she started calming down, she
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started processing those things by writing journals. So I started
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her with the Gratitude Journal first, because when people are
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in that negative state of mind, it is hard for
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them to being positive. And so gratitude journal is the
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simplest technique that you can use. But you just focus
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on things that you are grateful for. So when she
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started her day with I'm grateful for she started thinking, Okay,
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I'm grateful for having a job, and I'm grateful for
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being able to talk to people, or I'm able to
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think through and stuff. She started appreciating parts of also
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her job that we're getting buried under her anger and
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frustration about the things that were not going right at
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her job, and so then she decided to decided to
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how she can bring her passion back in her work.
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So she started focusing on, Okay, although I am doing this,
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you know paperwork that doesn't feel like you know it
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is helping anybody. But when I do this, it makes
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the case go much more smoother, and the clients that
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are firm serfs are able to get what they are
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entitled to feel the best in their life. So she
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picked up pictures of some of her client tales and
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put it across on the board. And so every time
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she started feeling really stressed and anxious, she saw those
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pictures and the smile on those clients' face and was
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able to relate to what she's doing today actually makes
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a difference.
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That's a wonderful story. I love that. No, right, just
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reframing and connecting to your purpose, that's a big deal.
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So that's a great story. That's fantastic. So the first
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one is again what was it writing? The first step
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or the first.
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So the three step processes C for calming down, P
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for processing what is coming from outside? What is what
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you're doing? What you can do? What are your options?
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And KURT is the response, so respond intentionally rather than
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reacting to your circumstances. And so the process I also
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use another acronym you could see. I like acronyms for
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people to remember. So when she started journaling, she was
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doing iop I for what is the issue? And OH
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is what are my options? And then P is what
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is my actually plan? So that IOPY process journaling helped
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her get over her anger and frustration of daily drudgedy
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by connecting it how this daily thing is helping a
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client at end. And I think it also helped you know,
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people in let's say it industry, they never see the
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face of that client. Right, So it's very hard for
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them to figure out what they're doing sitting on the
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computer eight hours a day, how that is going to
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make a difference in somebody's life. Right, So when they
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kind of do this processing and then realize, okay, this
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would make a person who is, like you know, sitting
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in a third world country but has a really great
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message to be able to reach through the world and
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make a difference in so many people's life. And I
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am making that possible, and just putting that picture or
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that symbol in front of them can remind them the
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purpose of their work and can prevent the stress and
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uh in frustration.
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That's great. What's the second of your seven?
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So second is a job skill mismatch. And many times
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what happens is and I don't know if you you
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had your business when you were uh working, and I've
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had my business for now seventeen years or so, so
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I could see that. Like, you know, you hire somebody
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really uh creative person or really uh powerful person in
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one area and you put them in another area where
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their skill is not matching and they may not perform
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as well. Right, you know, you put you put you
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you are a combination of certain and kind of technologies.
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But I had a I had an orthopedic doctor friend
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calling me sometimes one day and think, you know, I
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know how to expons I got how to help people
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with depression. And I said, I can help people with depression,
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but I can't handle the stress of the surgery room.
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So everybody has their own strength, and so a lot
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of times people would feel stress at work because there
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is this mismatch between the skill and the job requirement.
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That's sort of a tough acause lots of times you
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can't really have much say about that.
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Either, right, you know, again bringing in that concept I
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said about uh, using what you can do versus you
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cannot do. So yes, you know, sometimes you're put in
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a position where you don't have enough skill. You cannot
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change the requirement of the job. But you can do
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two things. One, train yourself to develop that skill. Two
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talk to the supervisor of people you're team saying this
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is where my strength lies, and this is I'm not
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too strong. If I can do this work, this work,
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I can give you better results. And you know there
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are teams that may not be open. Again that is
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not in your control. But most of the time teams
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are open to but when they when when they realized
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I went through that, and like you know, I was
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put in a role which was very administrative in my
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in my community role, and I said, you know, this
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is something that is not my strong pursuit, but my
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strong pursuit is here. You know, if you have me
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do this job, I would be so much more better.
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And so I was able to get the job. But
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for first two years I did not feel confident enough
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or empowered enough to ask that, and so I was
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doing this job of you know, drudgery that I didn't
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really enjoy and wasting my potential. But then once I
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realized that I was able to you know what you're
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asking me, I think this is very important thing, and
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I can do you know, some more training in this area.
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But if I have I am in this position, I
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have so much more to offer. And once I was
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put in that position, I was able to make such
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a so much more difference. Sometimes it's just a matter
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of asking to the other. Thing is training or finding
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the right match?
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Right? And what's your third source of job stress?
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Work life boundaries?
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Okay?
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And so there are with her with her busy and
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and and internet based and technology advance culture. Now everybody
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is accessible twenty four to seven, right. And so I
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had one one friend whose story I've used in the
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book Stress to Joy. Name was Sam, and she's a
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financial director at one of the organizations. She was spending
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like fifty hours at work. Then she was commuting hour
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and a half each way, so she was spending like
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five hours work related. And then when she was at home,
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she was constantly thinking about her work, you know, her
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team or the projects, the deadline, somebody said something, and
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so she was really getting burned out. And like you know,
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when I was talking, you know, she started talking to
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me when I was I was started writing that Strates
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Joy book, and so she told me that, you know,
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she's having skin problems or skin problems, you know, because
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her stress level has gone so high. Now this is
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a person who is financial director, so we would think
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that you would have some control on what she does, right,
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and yet she was feeling so stressed about her work.
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And the big thing that we identified and here her
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case was this work life boundary boundaries. So once she
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worked through the Stress to Joy a program, then recently
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when she met she said, so I told my you know,
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So this is how I have structured my gain. Now,
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so I am going late one day out of the week,
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and so I have put the exercise in my schedule.
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So I do the exercise and then go to work
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that day, and then I skipped the traffic rush. The
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other days, I have to be there earlier, so I
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do leave early, and then while driving, I am practicing
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my mind for driving. That decreased the stress of going
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over there. And I have made an intentional decision that
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once I come home, I'm going to focus on my
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family and myself and not focus on the work.
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Made a big difference to that.
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Yes, it made a huge difference in her both mentally
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feeling less stressed and physically feeling healthy.
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Nice, So let me read. Let's go back to just
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for a second. So let's read the first three things
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we covered. The first one was.
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The forgetting the purpose right.
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Second one was.
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Second one was job skill mismatch. The third one is
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this work life balance, the boundaries.
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The boundaries. It was the next one, the fourth one.
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Fourth one is kind of a little related, but it's
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it's the expectations, okay. And so one of the person
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named John, he was feeling helpless when he thought that
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the expectation by management was higher than he could handle,
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and he was feeling helpless and and he started becoming
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irritable and kind of snapping. And so when he applied
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the stress today a formula, he started using one of
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the techniques that I call FEAT to Floor Relaxation technique
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that people can get by signing up on my website.
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I have an audience structure, and but that technique combines
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a progressive muscle relaxation and mindfulness and body scan technique,
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a very powerful technique. But what it does is it
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helps you calm down your body and mind in one minute, right.
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So it goes back to the CPR approach of calming down,
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processing and then responding with purpose. Repetition helps. So the
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fourth one sort of a boundary thing too, So what's
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the fifth one?
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Fifth one was a self expectation because it's not just
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the outside people that expect differently from us. We expect
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so much from us, and and so sometimes you know,
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once we calm down and the process, we realize that
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we need to also balance our expectation and giving ourselves
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some positive feedback. So I kind of use this a
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funny example from my life. When my my daughter when
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he was young, used to do this to do go.
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So every time you would do she would do a
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good you know, solve a puzzle. I would say good job,
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and I would write make a star or you know,
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something like that. And so sometime later she asked me, mom,
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you are not giving me the good job or star.
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I solved these three things, and I said, did you
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do a good job? And she said yes, don't you
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give yourself a star a start? And I realized that
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when we are in this you know kind of leadership position,
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right or position doctors or or business free people or parents,
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we don't get so much of uh positive feedback from others.
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So we need to learn to appreciate ourselves. So now
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every day, when I finish all my tarts on the day,
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on my day sheet, I write, good job, Rosina so
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rose here on a time.
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But I just want to leave the audience to hear
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the last two sources of job stress.
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All right, so let me go fast on that. So
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the sixth one, I say is relationship issues. So how
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you relate to the colleagues at work. And one of
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the techniques to help improve the relationships is that when
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you're going to work. If you can think for a
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minute that I'm going to meet the people who make
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my who help me do my work better, it gives
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you the importance of these people because they help you
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get things done and allow you to keep their job well.
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The core corollary of that course is actually because workplaces
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tend to be very competitive. And I made the decision
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years ago personally just to be nice. What can I
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do to help your job be better as opposed to
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competing with you? Just just flipping that mindset makes you
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a pretty huge difference.
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That's right. And then the last one was insufficient time.
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And I use a technique called five D formula to
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help cope with the time UH in sufficiencies UH and
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five days tend for delete what you can diminish what
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you can't delete, but you can reduce, delegate that things
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that you can give to other people, delay that you
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can do later, and do it whatever. So there's a
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much more, much more to this, and I would love
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for people to get more benefit. We don't have time
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right now, but as I said, I have prepared this
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UH this gift that people can access. You can access
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my whole audiobook by getting the gifts on Stressglow dot com,
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front Slash, back in Control Radio gifts and you'd be
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able to get the whole audiobook. And all my blogs
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are on my website called doctor Rosina dot com Dr
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Rosina dot com and tons of free information over there
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to help you be healthier and happier in your life.
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Now, this is a wonderful, wonderful interview, so I want
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to take a couple of seconds to review. So we
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always talked about we talked about workplace stress sources are burnout,
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and we define burnout a little bit. Then you identified
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seven different sources of burnout. And then is it in
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your book Stressed to Joy or is there another resource
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where these seven sources are listed.
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Well, this article that I just talked to you also
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is available on my website dot com which is called
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seven Ways to Dodge Job Stress Perfect and all these
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all these techniques are obviously much more in detail in
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my book and my online course. I also have a
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video course that people can learn this one more time.
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Just list from one to seven to seven sources of stress.
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Forgetting the purpose okay, job skill, mismatch, lack of work
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life boundaries, expectations by others, self expectations, relationship issues, and
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insufficient time issues.
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Perfect. No, that's really actually I love that summary. And
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by the way, I blog once or twice a week
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for Psychology Today, and I'd love to have you do
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a guest blog on this exact topic because I think,
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really it's a very really relevant topic, particularly the fact
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that we have so much invasion of our boundaries with
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the Internet, etc. Expectations really high. I think you know
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that the United States is one of the worst countries
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in the world for working harder than amblos on this planet.
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We don't take the time off that the Europeans do.
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And so yeah, this is a really relevant topic and
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I think we'll end up talking about this a little
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bit more going forward. But anyway, thank you again for
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being on the podcast. This is wonderful and appreciate it.
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Thank you. I'm really happy and grateful for this opportunity
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to be part of your life for this ood of time.
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I'd like to thank our guests, doctor Rosina Lakhani for
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joining us on the program today and sharing her insights
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about the sources of workplace stress and strategies for dealing
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with them. I'm your host, Tom Masters, reminding you to
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join us next week for another episode of Back in
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Control Radio with Doctor David Hanscomb, and in the meantime,
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be sure to visit the website at www dot bacincontrol
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dot com.
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Thanks for listening today and join us next week for
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Back in Control Radio.