S4 E2: Mandy McCarthy on the World’s Need for Storytelling, Vulnerability in our Healing, & National Recovery Month

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This file was generated by Descript
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Casey Dwyer: Welcome to Awareness
to Action, a podcast brought to
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you by Northwestern Community
Services Prevention and Wellness.
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I'm your host, Casey, a social
worker and prevention and wellness
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specialist here in Virginia.
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Our goal is to bring you stories of people
who are engaging in their communities
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in meaningful ways to hopefully
inspire and encourage you to seek those
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connections in your own community.
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Hello and welcome back
to Awareness to Action.
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I'm excited to welcome Mandy
McCarthy to the show today.
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Mandy is a prevention and wellness
specialist with Northwestern Community
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Services Board who uses her story to
help bring awareness to mental health
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challenges and substance use . She's the
mother of an amazing 12 year old boy,
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an active member of her community, and
she's so enthusiastic about being the
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change that she wants to see in the world.
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I loved our conversation and the courage
that Mandy possesses and exhibits in her
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pursuit of vulnerability within her work.
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She's a changemaker, and she's doing it
boldly, and I really hope you enjoyed
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this conversation as much as I did.
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As a heads up, Mandy and I discussed
suicide, substance use, domestic violence,
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and sexual assault in this episode.
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It may be difficult for some listeners.
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As a reminder, help is always available.
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The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can
be reached by texting or calling 988.
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All right.
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Mandy, thank you for
joining us on the podcast.
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Mandy McCarthy: Yeah,
thank you for having me.
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I'm super excited about being here.
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Casey Dwyer: This has been a long
time coming for our listeners.
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And so Mandy and I are excited
to be recording finally.
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And let's just start, I think Mandy, I
would love to start with your story, so
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you are a peer support and prevention
specialist, and we will get further into
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those roles later, but a big part of
those roles is connecting with others and.
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Sharing about your own experiences.
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Will you start our conversation
with sharing your story?
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Mandy McCarthy: I was
raised by a single mother.
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I was an only child and my mom,
was doing the best that she knew
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to do with what she was doing.
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But but I still.
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Had my own traumas and my own
things that happened to me
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through those circumstances.
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I think it's very difficult for
anyone to grow up raising a child
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on their own and just the sometimes
almost the kind of target that
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can be on that group of people.
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Of course, I experienced
trauma and that even.
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Developed even more into high school.
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And so I did start at an early age
learning how to cope with substances.
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And so that led to that was my go to,
that was what I knew to do when I was
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struggling with any kind of adversity or
any kind of anxiety or anything like that.
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And there was a moment in time where
I, had an epiphany felt like the
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Lord spoke to me and gave it all up.
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And I did go back, go to college
and get my bachelor's degree.
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But during that time I got into an abusive
relationship and I pretended like my
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whole life didn't happen before that.
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And so I knew that I was not okay inside.
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And had started therapy at the time
through my college, they offered
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therapy with the students there.
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And that was good for me, but it
also opened this whole can of past
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experience that I had not dealt with.
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And so it left me really vulnerable.
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I was in an abusive relationship and my
mom had a back surgery where the doctor
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had nicked her spinal cord on accident,
which left her disabled, but also with
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a large supply of pain medications.
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I had migraines at the time, so
I was also being exposed to pain
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medications to those migraines.
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And so with the culmination of all
that was like the perfect storm.
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And so I started I became
addicted to the pain medicine.
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I, it was the only time that I felt.
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Normal quote unquote, where I could
escape my mind and so that led me
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down a really rough road of addiction.
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I got pregnant with the.
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Man, I was in an abusive relationship
with had my son and we were homeless
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and out of domestic violence shelters.
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At that time to and when I had my son I
was taking my mother's pain medication
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and that was catching up to me.
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And so I was no longer able to do that or
else there would be legal repercussions.
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So I turned to alcohol and
because I didn't want to go
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look and I thought, I was.
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I was a mother.
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I could no longer do that.
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I had to be responsible.
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So I went to a legal form
of coping and numbing.
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And the alcohol is
really what took me down.
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Really deteriorated me a lot.
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And I was doing the best that
I could, but I was not able.
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I was really struggling
to take care of my son.
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He was not getting the best version of me.
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Like I said, we were in and out
of homelessness and shelters.
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We were staying with a friend.
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And so eventually CPS
did get involved in that.
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And my son did get taken away from me.
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He was removed from my care which is
what ultimately led me to going to rehab.
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And in rehab, I did not think that
I was addicted, I Thought that
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you didn't understand my life.
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And you didn't know what
I had been going through.
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And so anyone who had been
through what I've been through
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would be doing the same thing.
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And I was just physically dependent
upon these substances, because
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this is how I was managing my life.
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And so I thought, with the 30 day.
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Stent that I would once I
was not physically addicted,
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it would be a cakewalk.
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I I drove directly to an ABC store as
soon as I got out of rehab and ended
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up being, Blackout drunk for 2 days
after that it was New Year's Eve.
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I knew I would probably drink.
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I asked them to keep me past New
Year's Eve, but due to insurance,
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they were not allowed to and
and I ended up wrecking my car.
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And going to jail, and that was
when I really understood what
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they were telling me the whole
time in rehab that it is a mental.
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Thing, that it is you have to
overcome and learn how to manage
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your mind that addiction is not
just a physical dependence that
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there's a mental aspect to it.
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And so I, that really opened my eyes
and, was just the beginning of me
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understanding how truly mental the
battle was to overcome addiction.
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And so I I just tried my best
to go forward from there.
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My grandfather, I called
him and asked him.
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To help me, and he said, I was ready
to do whatever it took to be sober.
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And so he took me in and I did
probably 20 hours of groups, at
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least 20 hours of groups and therapy
a week, to try and overcome that.
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And even then it still
felt impossible, which.
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Which did leave me to even attempting
to take my own life because I
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just felt so hopeless and I was
trying so hard to remain sober.
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And I just.
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I just didn't know how I
could live with my mind sober.
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I just didn't see how it would be
possible to live with my mind sober.
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And and I knew that if I could never stay
sober, that I'd never get my son back.
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And I just thought, that the world
would be better without me in it.
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And my son would be better without
a messed up mom, then it would be
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better for him to have no mom than a
mom that could never get it together.
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And so I did attempt to take
my own life and I am really
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only here by the grace of God.
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Don't know why I survived.
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I shouldn't have survived.
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But when I did, I knew that I was
supposed to be here for a reason.
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And so I promised for me, the Lord
that I would do things his way.
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And ever since I've been on this journey
of just following the path before me, and
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because I have a life now that I never.
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Ever thought was possible for me, and
that's what has been the gasoline, the
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fuel behind me getting into the profession
that I'm in now and doing what I do now.
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It has all been used for my good, even
though it did not feel good in the
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moment, but I do think that I would not.
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If I had to do it all again, I'd
still choose this pathway to be
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able to get to where I am today.
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Casey Dwyer: 1st, thank
you for sharing your story.
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I think the last thing you said is so
powerful can you just share a little bit
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what are the pieces of, or the elements
of this path that lead you to say that?
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What have been the parts of this path
where you're like, oh, there's there just
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is good in the world and there's good
in me and it's worth it to keep going?
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Going even though it's hard.
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Mandy McCarthy: Yeah, so I think that
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my mom is an amazing woman.
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My mom was an amazing mom, given the
circumstances to which she, she grew
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up and I did not always think that way.
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And I was very angry with her and
thought that there was a time where
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I would never talk to my mom again,
given the circumstances of our life.
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But.
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It wasn't until I attempted suicide
and survive that I realized and through
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the journey of my life, my mom and me
have lived very similar lives, right?
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And I did not think that
I could stand living.
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Any longer and so that specific
instance has given me such an
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appreciation for my mother, because
she power, she, she pushed through.
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So my mom made it through.
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The life that I thought I couldn't
make it through, and only because
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of that divine intervention.
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Am I still here?
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And so that appreciation for my
mom, and that has helped grow our
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relationship and understanding.
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I'm a single mom now.
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And understanding that my mom was
in an abusive relationship with my
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father, so the similarities of living
that way has allowed me to forgive
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her for not being the mother that I
needed it in life and has allowed a
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relationship to develop now other people.
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I did not always get to see maybe.
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And maybe I couldn't see because of the
darkness or the mentality that I was in,
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but I did not always see the goodness of
people, but through recovery, I've been
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able to see people who have loved me
and fully accepted me the way that I am.
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And and so it allows me to.
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Be hopeful for the future, no matter how
dark it is, because I know that there are.
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Good people out there, because I'm
only here partly due to good people.
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But then also going through difficult
things doesn't make me afraid to
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conquer or overcome difficult thing.
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Understanding that there are going
to be tragedies in life, right?
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That.
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Will suck, will be hard but I can
overcome them and I can get through
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them because I've already been
through what felt like the depths of
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hell, and so I would not have that.
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If I grew up in a life without
trauma, or, a world where I was
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very protected by the elements.
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And so I just feel that there's so much
strength on the other side of trauma
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and adversity, if you can see it.
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Casey Dwyer: Yeah.
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Yeah there's the strength of your
resilience and your perspective
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and your commitment to keep going.
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And then there's the strength to of
the people who have lent a hand and
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reached out and been there for you.
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When we talk about helping and
we talk about the people who have
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been there for you in your journey
and in your recovery, there's.
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A really key distinction between
reaching out to someone or.
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Or giving a listening ear or a
shoulder to cry on from a place of
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genuine care and just like humanity.
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I think I'm here with you because
I just I want to see you be okay
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versus giving that help with a desire
to like, fix or cure or transform.
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And I know that's a
distinction that you make.
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So can you.
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Just speak a little bit to that
difference and where you've seen that.
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Mandy McCarthy: Yeah.
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So when I say like good people in
my life those people were good
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but they that was not all to them.
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So what allowed them to even have a place?
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In my life to be able to show
me their goodness was that
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they just let me be right.
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They weren't coming in with what felt like
an agenda to fix me or to Save me, right?
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Or to scoop me out of the turmoil
out of the mud, and wash me off.
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Even though that's what they did.
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But that was not their agenda.
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They just came in because
they loved me, or they saw.
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The goodness in me.
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And I think a lot about when I
first, after I attempted suicide
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is when I started going to church
because I did not look like.
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Religious people.
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I did not like them feeling like that
was a project, or someone that they
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needed to save and, bring to the Lord.
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I did not like that.
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But after that, I knew that
what I was doing wasn't working.
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And so they had been asking me to go.
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So I ended up going to this church.
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What made me stay though was
because they did not treat me any
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differently than anybody else.
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They did not make me feel like I
was different than anybody else, or
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I was this wounded or broken person
that needed to be handled with kid
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gloves or anything I smoked at the
time they allowed me to smoke and
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they did not say 1 word about it.
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They did not complain about me smoking.
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They did not tell me how I
should not be doing that because
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it's not good for my health.
00:15:43.575 --> 00:15:49.442
They just allowed me to smoke, whenever
I wanted to and not say a word, I
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helped with vacation Bible school.
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And this is a really
profound moment for me.
00:15:54.472 --> 00:15:57.372
I used to draw, so they
welcomed me to help.
00:15:57.402 --> 00:16:02.342
And after work, I would go spend
my days painting there and painting
00:16:02.342 --> 00:16:03.972
the walls with some of the women.
00:16:04.707 --> 00:16:09.517
And it would have been an opportune
time for them to try and talk
00:16:09.517 --> 00:16:14.787
to me about, Jesus, or even ask
me about myself or my struggles.
00:16:15.197 --> 00:16:17.277
And they didn't, they just sat with me.
00:16:17.707 --> 00:16:22.687
So we just sat in silence and we
painted and we did things together and
00:16:22.687 --> 00:16:28.947
they waited for me to open up and for
me to start sharing or talking about
00:16:28.947 --> 00:16:34.717
myself as I felt comfortable and that
is such a profound memory for me and
00:16:34.717 --> 00:16:40.087
such a profound moment for me because
they just loved me exactly where I was.
00:16:40.637 --> 00:16:45.347
And they didn't have any agenda to
try and get to know my business or
00:16:45.347 --> 00:16:47.807
get to, try and solve my problems.
00:16:48.247 --> 00:16:50.957
They just treated me like
they would anybody else.
00:16:51.577 --> 00:16:56.877
And as the opportunities allowed, then
we would share and build connection.
00:16:57.117 --> 00:17:01.647
But I always knew that they were
there for me if I ever needed them.
00:17:01.687 --> 00:17:05.347
So they showed me love and I knew
that I had somebody to go to.
00:17:05.667 --> 00:17:07.527
But they didn't force me.
00:17:07.962 --> 00:17:14.362
To to go there unless I was ready and
so I can think back in my recovery and
00:17:14.802 --> 00:17:20.912
I've been lucky to have a lot of people
who just fully accepted me as the hot
00:17:20.922 --> 00:17:26.752
mess, that I was and, and didn't force
me to be anything different, right?
00:17:26.752 --> 00:17:29.192
They walked with me through the process.
00:17:30.377 --> 00:17:32.977
But they didn't, force the process on me.
00:17:33.467 --> 00:17:38.337
And I think that is really important
when we're working with people or
00:17:38.577 --> 00:17:42.747
even friends, I think, I have friends
that have are going through grief,
00:17:42.897 --> 00:17:47.487
or have lost, Children or things like
that, and and that sticks with me.
00:17:47.757 --> 00:17:49.647
I don't want when I'm with them.
00:17:49.717 --> 00:17:52.127
I don't want to treat
them any differently.
00:17:52.127 --> 00:17:55.007
I want them to know that I'm there
for support, but I don't want to.
00:17:55.537 --> 00:18:01.877
To treat them as a, a broken mother
who just lost someone, because
00:18:02.887 --> 00:18:07.397
if everybody's treating you that
way, that can be really heavy.
00:18:08.012 --> 00:18:13.492
And really dark and you can lose
your identity and being an individual
00:18:13.932 --> 00:18:19.372
and a person of who you are and
then you become the hot mess.
00:18:19.872 --> 00:18:21.732
So I was not the hot mess.
00:18:21.812 --> 00:18:24.932
I was a person going through a hot mess.
00:18:24.982 --> 00:18:27.422
But that was not my identity.
00:18:27.832 --> 00:18:31.602
But if somebody treated me like
that, and everybody did, then I would
00:18:31.932 --> 00:18:33.812
soon take that on as my identity.
00:18:33.832 --> 00:18:36.232
And I just, I carry that on in my.
00:18:36.922 --> 00:18:42.092
Relationships with others to, because
I want to be me and I want you to
00:18:42.092 --> 00:18:46.232
be someone who walks with me through
the struggle that I'm going through
00:18:46.232 --> 00:18:50.352
at the moment, but I don't want to
be the struggle that needs saving.
00:18:51.619 --> 00:18:53.859
Casey Dwyer: Yeah the self
fulfilling prophecy if there
00:18:53.859 --> 00:18:55.164
are people trying to help.
00:18:55.814 --> 00:18:58.904
And they just keep getting
it wrong with that.
00:18:58.904 --> 00:19:02.544
And I, we all get it wrong when we try
to help, but I think you said, having an
00:19:02.544 --> 00:19:07.364
agenda an agenda belongs in a corporate
office or a political campaign, but just
00:19:07.404 --> 00:19:09.534
not in our relationships with 1 another.
00:19:09.534 --> 00:19:11.094
And I hope that.
00:19:11.724 --> 00:19:16.474
Every person in their journey of being
there for others at some point has that
00:19:16.474 --> 00:19:20.514
moment where they're like, oh, the way I'm
approaching this, it's not doing anything.
00:19:20.564 --> 00:19:25.454
I'm not actually reaching this person
when I'm, coming at them like a project.
00:19:25.934 --> 00:19:30.390
Mandy McCarthy: And I think,
sometimes it can really be about us.
00:19:31.045 --> 00:19:39.445
We feel uncomfortable with that situation,
or that moment and so really it, it
00:19:39.445 --> 00:19:44.975
comes down to, it makes me feel better,
talking about that or, approaching it
00:19:45.005 --> 00:19:47.265
this way or feeling like I can fix you.
00:19:47.695 --> 00:19:52.605
And and so really, we have to be
looking internally and asking,
00:19:52.615 --> 00:19:56.245
why do I feel the need to do that?
00:19:56.420 --> 00:20:04.480
Or to say that is it really out of care
for the person or is it really because I
00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:07.030
feel uncomfortable with this situation?
00:20:07.030 --> 00:20:10.820
And so I feel like this is what
I'm supposed to say, so that
00:20:10.820 --> 00:20:16.690
we can just move on and pretend
like it's not there, yeah, and
00:20:16.700 --> 00:20:24.070
Casey Dwyer: I think what you were sharing
earlier about, once you were On this
00:20:24.110 --> 00:20:30.320
path of healing, uncovering more about
your life and how it's impacted you and
00:20:30.320 --> 00:20:36.280
having to address that that does happen
when we're trying to help and so that
00:20:36.750 --> 00:20:39.120
vulnerability is required both directions.
00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:44.250
It requires a lot of vulnerability
for someone to turn to me.
00:20:44.860 --> 00:20:49.250
And want to support me and help me because
they're going to have to look at their
00:20:49.250 --> 00:20:54.390
stuff and it also takes a great deal of
vulnerability for me to accept that help.
00:20:54.440 --> 00:20:57.320
Because again, I have to look at my stuff.
00:20:57.770 --> 00:21:02.680
We're just, you can't have that
relationship between 2 people
00:21:02.850 --> 00:21:04.000
without that vulnerability.
00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:06.790
And I know that's a huge part
of your story and something
00:21:06.790 --> 00:21:09.490
that is really important to you.
00:21:09.500 --> 00:21:13.070
So I would love just for you to
speak a little bit more to what.
00:21:13.945 --> 00:21:16.325
Role vulnerability has had in your life.
00:21:16.375 --> 00:21:17.635
And where are you see it now?
00:21:18.222 --> 00:21:22.842
Mandy McCarthy: Yeah, so I choose to
be very vulnerable in all situations,
00:21:22.872 --> 00:21:26.742
but I do think it's because of just
the experience that I've went through
00:21:26.742 --> 00:21:31.702
and I've seen that when we're able to
be vulnerable with 1 another, that.
00:21:32.152 --> 00:21:34.792
The magic that can happen, right?
00:21:35.102 --> 00:21:40.302
When I don't feel like I have to hold
everything in and deal with everything
00:21:40.302 --> 00:21:48.602
myself, but I'm allowed to get that out
in a safe space, then it loses its power.
00:21:49.102 --> 00:21:52.332
But only when I'm sharing
it in a safe space.
00:21:52.382 --> 00:21:56.532
So it does take that to you're
talking about someone who's willing
00:21:56.982 --> 00:22:01.242
to also be vulnerable with me,
because I'm not going to share this.
00:22:02.382 --> 00:22:06.492
This information with someone who
hasn't also shared 1st and then
00:22:06.492 --> 00:22:09.292
me being willing to be vulnerable
enough to share with them.
00:22:09.292 --> 00:22:16.122
And that has been a huge part of my
journey and that I've found those people
00:22:16.122 --> 00:22:17.632
who are willing to sit in the silence.
00:22:17.632 --> 00:22:22.332
And to develop that connection
and develop that relationship.
00:22:22.372 --> 00:22:22.682
Right?
00:22:22.682 --> 00:22:23.352
Where then.
00:22:24.202 --> 00:22:27.022
Vulnerability was able to be had, right?
00:22:27.052 --> 00:22:33.392
So there was an unconditional love
and unconditional acceptance of each
00:22:33.392 --> 00:22:38.312
other where then we were able to be
completely vulnerable with each other.
00:22:38.602 --> 00:22:45.092
Each other without any shame, I could be
completely who I am and share completely
00:22:45.092 --> 00:22:52.302
who I have been without any shame of
what you think about me or what that
00:22:52.592 --> 00:22:54.812
if that would change our relationship.
00:22:54.912 --> 00:23:02.342
And so that has really allowed
me to accept me because without
00:23:02.352 --> 00:23:07.602
that Person allowing me to be
completely vulnerable with them
00:23:07.602 --> 00:23:09.862
and still loving and accepting me.
00:23:10.242 --> 00:23:13.612
There's a lot of darkness
in my closet, right?
00:23:13.622 --> 00:23:15.902
There's a lot of baggage in my closet.
00:23:16.442 --> 00:23:21.632
And there's a lot of stuff that I
didn't want to even accept about
00:23:21.632 --> 00:23:26.432
myself, and so when you, I can share
that with you and you can accept
00:23:26.432 --> 00:23:30.112
it, then it can help me accept.
00:23:30.342 --> 00:23:37.002
It too right and so I just really
do believe that vulnerability
00:23:37.012 --> 00:23:39.122
is the key to for all of us.
00:23:39.222 --> 00:23:42.332
If we can't be vulnerable and still.
00:23:44.302 --> 00:23:49.422
And still be valuable as a human
being, then we've really lost it.
00:23:49.672 --> 00:23:51.212
I don't know if I answered the question.
00:23:52.252 --> 00:23:52.832
Casey Dwyer: Absolutely.
00:23:52.832 --> 00:23:53.292
You didn't.
00:23:53.382 --> 00:23:53.972
Absolutely.
00:23:53.992 --> 00:23:54.092
Mandy McCarthy: Yeah.
00:23:54.492 --> 00:24:00.039
Casey Dwyer: Yeah, I think more and more
as I get older, I realized that like
00:24:00.049 --> 00:24:05.647
storytelling and the vulnerability of
storytelling is Like the most important
00:24:05.647 --> 00:24:10.314
thing we can do because it is the
thing that helps us to not feel alone.
00:24:10.324 --> 00:24:14.044
Like, when we share what we've been
through, share what we're going
00:24:14.044 --> 00:24:19.391
through or share what we're hopeful
about that is what brings us together.
00:24:19.981 --> 00:24:24.131
Thinking you said agenda and now that's
all I can think about that word is so
00:24:24.131 --> 00:24:25.981
helpful to talk about what's not helpful.
00:24:25.981 --> 00:24:31.071
Like, when we have the agenda
even, there's the sharing stories.
00:24:31.421 --> 00:24:35.521
Part of vulnerability, and then there's,
as you also said, to the sitting in
00:24:35.521 --> 00:24:40.781
the silence and again, something that
doesn't work with an agenda that's
00:24:40.791 --> 00:24:44.941
never written into an agenda, but it's
so crucial for us in our relationships
00:24:45.071 --> 00:24:46.761
to have those where we can just.
00:24:47.241 --> 00:24:51.771
Exist and to not be speaking and to
not be sharing stories and to just be
00:24:51.771 --> 00:24:56.791
living life together and that sitting
in the silence to with ourselves that.
00:24:57.276 --> 00:25:02.146
Internal, I keep getting caught on my
words today that internal vulnerability
00:25:02.206 --> 00:25:07.336
of cutting out the noise and just
like existing with our thoughts.
00:25:07.436 --> 00:25:11.606
And again, our hopes and our
struggles it's just all matters.
00:25:12.356 --> 00:25:13.556
It don't matter so much.
00:25:15.116 --> 00:25:20.606
Another setting context change another
setting for sharing stories is therapy
00:25:20.816 --> 00:25:25.546
and we have talked a lot on this
show about the value of individual
00:25:25.546 --> 00:25:29.596
therapy, which is a wonderful tool.
00:25:30.016 --> 00:25:33.236
But when we haven't gotten to talk as
much about and what you, I know, have
00:25:33.236 --> 00:25:34.846
had experience with is that group.
00:25:35.326 --> 00:25:37.606
Therapy setting that
support group setting.
00:25:37.606 --> 00:25:43.566
So I would just love to hear what being
in that environment meant to you when
00:25:43.566 --> 00:25:48.276
you were in support groups, because I
think it's a kind of undervalued tool.
00:25:48.276 --> 00:25:51.746
And so I would just love if
you could share that with us.
00:25:52.266 --> 00:25:54.986
Mandy McCarthy: Yeah, when you were
mentioning about vulnerability,
00:25:54.986 --> 00:25:57.846
as soon as I stopped talking
about it, and you started talking
00:25:57.856 --> 00:25:59.806
about it I went to this group.
00:25:59.806 --> 00:26:02.246
This group, I attended this group.
00:26:02.296 --> 00:26:09.366
That was for women who had and we're
using substances to cope and it was.
00:26:09.866 --> 00:26:16.096
A safe space, it was a small group,
so there were maybe for other women.
00:26:16.381 --> 00:26:20.391
In the group besides
me, maybe 6 max, right?
00:26:20.531 --> 00:26:21.921
I don't even think we ever got there.
00:26:22.421 --> 00:26:24.111
But it was a safe space.
00:26:24.851 --> 00:26:29.771
I was amongst people who were just
like me, like different, but still
00:26:30.091 --> 00:26:35.841
in the inner core, we were the same
person, struggling with the same issues.
00:26:36.311 --> 00:26:39.131
And so because of that, it allowed.
00:26:39.591 --> 00:26:45.991
A very unique dynamic where we
were allowed to let all of our
00:26:45.991 --> 00:26:53.161
walls down and not wear any kind
of masks and just be all out there.
00:26:53.201 --> 00:26:57.631
And we had all been through
horrific things, right?
00:26:58.001 --> 00:27:03.821
So there was nothing that you
could say that would shock anybody.
00:27:04.321 --> 00:27:08.631
There was nothing that you could
get off your chest and admit to
00:27:09.171 --> 00:27:11.171
that would throw anybody off.
00:27:11.571 --> 00:27:16.851
And there was so much power
in that group because of that.
00:27:16.941 --> 00:27:22.331
Because you could, you found women
just like you who had maybe been
00:27:22.331 --> 00:27:24.131
through even worse things than you.
00:27:24.576 --> 00:27:31.176
And we were all taking the masks
off and we were all taking the risk
00:27:31.176 --> 00:27:32.936
of being vulnerable with 1 another.
00:27:32.936 --> 00:27:39.386
Because also, when you go through trauma,
being vulnerable is the complete opposite.
00:27:39.936 --> 00:27:43.676
So trauma and vulnerability
don't go together.
00:27:44.136 --> 00:27:48.286
If anything, you protect yourself
and you do not trust anyone
00:27:48.296 --> 00:27:49.646
when you go through trauma.
00:27:49.976 --> 00:27:54.446
And so we were breaking down that dynamic.
00:27:54.446 --> 00:27:59.906
We were breaking down that wall
of saying, we can't trust anybody.
00:28:00.166 --> 00:28:05.106
And we can't share anything with anyone
and so we were breaking that down and we
00:28:05.106 --> 00:28:10.176
were finding a safe space where we could
have people that we trusted and we were
00:28:10.176 --> 00:28:12.176
allowed to be completely ourselves with.
00:28:12.176 --> 00:28:13.146
And it was powerful.
00:28:13.156 --> 00:28:14.856
It was an 18 week course and.
00:28:15.866 --> 00:28:21.656
I asked to take that course twice and and
it is really, it was really instrumental.
00:28:21.656 --> 00:28:27.216
And my recovery process to was
allowing myself to be who I was and
00:28:27.426 --> 00:28:32.766
that's what it all breaks down to
is me allowing to be who I am and
00:28:32.776 --> 00:28:34.936
all of the stuff that I've done.
00:28:35.456 --> 00:28:40.706
And all of the stuff that has
happened to me and be fully accepted.
00:28:41.206 --> 00:28:46.056
For that, and so that group, and
it was led by a therapist, and so
00:28:46.056 --> 00:28:48.586
our therapist kind of navigated us.
00:28:48.736 --> 00:28:51.026
They taught us healthy coping skills.
00:28:51.926 --> 00:28:56.476
We learned mindfulness and mindfulness
techniques, which are things that,
00:28:56.836 --> 00:29:02.706
allowed me to regain back control of my
mind, because my mind was like a Rolodex.
00:29:02.706 --> 00:29:08.236
It was flip continuously flipping
through all of the scenes of the stuff
00:29:08.246 --> 00:29:11.006
that had happened to me and that group.
00:29:11.906 --> 00:29:15.386
Helped me stop the
Rolodex and and so it was.
00:29:16.306 --> 00:29:21.526
It was instrumental in my recovery
process, and I still have.
00:29:21.836 --> 00:29:26.976
I'm still in contact with some of those
women on Facebook and it's just really
00:29:26.976 --> 00:29:34.396
beautiful to see what, what can happen
when we allow people to share in their
00:29:34.396 --> 00:29:40.406
grief and share in their trauma and
share in their addiction, but also
00:29:40.406 --> 00:29:42.566
give them the tools to not stay there.
00:29:42.626 --> 00:29:45.546
Right to overcome and to come out of it.
00:29:45.946 --> 00:29:49.086
To get on the other side together.
00:29:49.349 --> 00:29:52.312
Casey Dwyer: I'm think what
you're sharing about creating
00:29:52.312 --> 00:29:55.279
a space where the past is.
00:29:55.749 --> 00:30:00.189
Seen and valued and the future is also
upheld Hey, where you've come from there's
00:30:00.199 --> 00:30:02.409
space for that and where you're going.
00:30:02.429 --> 00:30:06.749
We have space and hope for
that as well is so important.
00:30:06.769 --> 00:30:08.589
And similar to
00:30:10.689 --> 00:30:13.259
that idea of not having an agenda
and not seeing something as a
00:30:13.259 --> 00:30:18.416
project really valuing all parts of
a person's story in a person's life.
00:30:18.416 --> 00:30:24.126
And who better to do that than in your
case, women who have been through the
00:30:24.136 --> 00:30:27.386
same or similar parallel experiences.
00:30:27.436 --> 00:30:31.456
I just think that's really beautiful and
beautiful that those bonds have lasted and
00:30:31.456 --> 00:30:33.976
that you're still in contact in some ways.
00:30:33.976 --> 00:30:36.596
And yeah, thank you for
sharing that with us.
00:30:37.659 --> 00:30:41.549
Mandy McCarthy: Yeah, because those
women too, they told me things so
00:30:41.549 --> 00:30:43.869
we spoke into each other's lives.
00:30:44.549 --> 00:30:50.609
And I loved my therapist, but she
didn't know what she was talking about
00:30:50.639 --> 00:30:52.429
because she had never been there.
00:30:52.989 --> 00:30:54.539
In my eyes in the moment.
00:30:55.049 --> 00:30:57.993
If so, I was raped in high school.
00:30:58.613 --> 00:31:06.953
Nobody could tell me what how to overcome
that or how to deal with that if they
00:31:06.953 --> 00:31:08.773
had not been through the same experience.
00:31:08.843 --> 00:31:13.923
And because you didn't know what that
did or the depths, you could tell me,
00:31:14.223 --> 00:31:15.963
oh, I'm going to get out of this hole.
00:31:16.083 --> 00:31:17.623
The culmination of all of this.
00:31:17.943 --> 00:31:19.083
Stuff that I've been through.
00:31:19.743 --> 00:31:21.413
I was so low, right?
00:31:21.886 --> 00:31:23.326
A therapist could tell me.
00:31:23.716 --> 00:31:27.706
If you do this mindfulness or you do
this, you can get out of this hole.
00:31:28.596 --> 00:31:34.986
I did not believe them because they
did not know how dark that hole was.
00:31:35.116 --> 00:31:38.596
How could they know they may
have read about it in books
00:31:38.816 --> 00:31:42.456
or, met with people and heard.
00:31:42.671 --> 00:31:44.801
About how dark the hole was, right?
00:31:45.161 --> 00:31:50.651
But that is only a level that
is not even comprehensible
00:31:51.381 --> 00:31:53.471
unless you've been there, right?
00:31:53.471 --> 00:31:57.001
And so you could not even
comprehend where I was.
00:31:57.241 --> 00:32:00.201
You thought you could, but
you had no idea, right?
00:32:00.201 --> 00:32:04.251
And so you think I can get out
of this, but I know I can't.
00:32:04.321 --> 00:32:13.431
And so in that group, I was able
to get advice and encouragement
00:32:14.101 --> 00:32:16.661
and direction, and hope.
00:32:17.351 --> 00:32:22.801
From women who were in
the same hole, right?
00:32:22.871 --> 00:32:28.321
So they knew how dark and how deep
the hole was, and they could see the
00:32:28.321 --> 00:32:30.851
way out or they could see the light.
00:32:31.101 --> 00:32:37.201
And so I could trust them because they
knew how deep and how dark we were.
00:32:37.731 --> 00:32:43.041
And so there, that is another thing that
was invaluable about that group and being
00:32:43.271 --> 00:32:46.261
with people who were struggling through.
00:32:46.671 --> 00:32:49.391
Not the same, but similar.
00:32:50.021 --> 00:32:52.591
A similar mental game, right?
00:32:52.641 --> 00:32:55.941
A similar emotional
and, anxiety, all of it.
00:32:56.361 --> 00:32:57.021
They.
00:32:57.631 --> 00:33:02.011
If they had hope, I could have hope too.
00:33:02.141 --> 00:33:07.241
And so that's what we also
got from 1 another because
00:33:07.241 --> 00:33:08.621
I said, I love my therapist.
00:33:08.621 --> 00:33:09.471
Her name was Meg.
00:33:09.661 --> 00:33:12.841
She was so instrumental,
but Meg wasn't us.
00:33:13.209 --> 00:33:13.639
Casey Dwyer: Yeah.
00:33:13.709 --> 00:33:21.109
And we talk about like tools in a
toolbox, your individual therapist, as
00:33:21.109 --> 00:33:24.139
you just said, was instrumental and had
tools, but they were different kinds of
00:33:24.139 --> 00:33:30.159
tools than people who have experienced
this, these traumas and hardships.
00:33:30.459 --> 00:33:31.059
And.
00:33:32.114 --> 00:33:36.944
Again, going back to why we have
to share our stories, like if they
00:33:36.944 --> 00:33:39.514
were sharing their stories with you,
then you wouldn't have that support,
00:33:39.514 --> 00:33:43.514
but because they had the courage to
share, you were able to receive that.
00:33:43.514 --> 00:33:47.974
And because you have now had the courage
to share, others are able to receive that.
00:33:47.974 --> 00:33:52.234
And it's a beautiful I don't know
like a pass down of knowledge and
00:33:52.704 --> 00:33:56.874
lived experience and hope that's
just really powerful to think about.
00:33:57.278 --> 00:34:00.888
Mandy McCarthy: And that's why, I got
into the field that I'm in, because
00:34:00.978 --> 00:34:07.378
through that experience, I was able
to see the value of a peer, right?
00:34:07.408 --> 00:34:10.968
The value of someone who
had that lived experience.
00:34:11.848 --> 00:34:17.238
And in speaking into my life and
the knowledge and encouragement
00:34:17.628 --> 00:34:19.288
and support that they had.
00:34:19.598 --> 00:34:21.788
And I didn't even know that
peer support was a thing.
00:34:21.858 --> 00:34:25.798
But I always knew in my mind
that was what I wanted to do.
00:34:26.218 --> 00:34:31.888
And, tried calling probably 50
hospitals and avenues to find out.
00:34:31.888 --> 00:34:38.218
And then, 1 day, I went to a job fair and
saw a peer support set up at the job fair.
00:34:38.578 --> 00:34:41.268
And I was like, this is exactly
what I've been looking for.
00:34:41.268 --> 00:34:42.918
This is exactly in my mind.
00:34:42.918 --> 00:34:45.468
What I knew I was called.
00:34:45.913 --> 00:34:50.783
Called to do or part to be a part of
and it was through that that experience
00:34:50.783 --> 00:34:55.063
of people with lived experience, being
vulnerable with each other and helping
00:34:55.063 --> 00:34:56.933
to pull each other out of the hole.
00:34:57.433 --> 00:35:00.473
Casey Dwyer: Yeah, I'm so glad you have
started talking about your work because
00:35:00.473 --> 00:35:04.013
I would love to talk a little bit more
about, because you were in peer support
00:35:04.013 --> 00:35:05.993
and now you're in prevention and 2 are.
00:35:06.493 --> 00:35:10.213
Beautifully tied and connected, so
I would just love for you to share
00:35:10.213 --> 00:35:11.633
what your day to day looks like.
00:35:12.350 --> 00:35:15.720
Mandy McCarthy: Yeah, so right
now I am a prevention specialist
00:35:15.720 --> 00:35:19.550
and what that means is I am out.
00:35:20.260 --> 00:35:25.960
In the community trying to prevent
suicide, prevent substance misuse
00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:27.770
and promote mental wellness.
00:35:27.850 --> 00:35:30.030
And so we teach.
00:35:30.140 --> 00:35:34.730
So there are classes and programs that
we help teach to bring education and
00:35:34.730 --> 00:35:40.930
awareness around, certain things and
topics some of those also teach you how
00:35:40.930 --> 00:35:45.900
to navigate, a mental health challenge
or a mental health crisis, or how to
00:35:45.910 --> 00:35:52.180
navigate someone who's having suicidal
ideation or thoughts and the steps to do
00:35:52.180 --> 00:35:55.229
to get them the resources that they need.
00:35:55.230 --> 00:35:59.260
And 1 aspect of that is teaching that
to the community so that they know how
00:35:59.320 --> 00:36:01.250
to handle those types of situations.
00:36:01.260 --> 00:36:07.311
We also work with community partners to
try and advance, the efforts that they're
00:36:07.311 --> 00:36:09.561
doing, or that we're doing together.
00:36:09.971 --> 00:36:16.121
I'm part of a trauma informed care
network, and so I'm the co chair
00:36:16.141 --> 00:36:18.661
of triumph over trauma, which.
00:36:19.031 --> 00:36:24.271
Is everybody all community partners
coming together to try and bring
00:36:24.271 --> 00:36:28.721
trauma awareness and trauma informed
care and those resources for
00:36:29.101 --> 00:36:31.041
trauma to those in the community.
00:36:31.041 --> 00:36:32.451
And that's what I do.
00:36:32.451 --> 00:36:33.861
And I love it.
00:36:33.961 --> 00:36:37.934
I started out as a peer
support specialist.
00:36:37.934 --> 00:36:41.017
Working with people 1 on 1.
00:36:41.501 --> 00:36:45.881
Who were experiencing
substance use or mental health.
00:36:46.590 --> 00:36:51.160
Challenges or conditions at
the time, and I love that.
00:36:51.490 --> 00:36:55.840
But that was a 1 on 1 basis working
with people in the thick of it, and
00:36:55.890 --> 00:37:02.310
so when I was doing that, I knew that
working with individuals is great.
00:37:02.615 --> 00:37:06.605
We need people who work with
individuals, but I want to try and
00:37:06.605 --> 00:37:08.615
prevent this from even happening.
00:37:08.615 --> 00:37:12.695
I want to try and stop
this before it happens.
00:37:12.695 --> 00:37:20.115
And again the prevention job is something
that I had already was picturing or
00:37:20.125 --> 00:37:25.405
formulating in my mind while working
with clients that, this is great.
00:37:25.405 --> 00:37:29.125
And this is needed, but
we need a better solution.
00:37:29.725 --> 00:37:33.105
We need to look upstream and figure out.
00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:39.620
The solution to what's happening
upstream to create the problem or to
00:37:39.620 --> 00:37:42.670
create the issues right and solve that.
00:37:42.790 --> 00:37:48.640
So then we don't have the adults
or the children downstream.
00:37:49.050 --> 00:37:54.350
That we're trying to help navigate the
trauma or navigate the mental health.
00:37:54.350 --> 00:37:57.970
And yeah, I just knew that I
wanted to try and prevent it.
00:37:58.420 --> 00:38:05.090
I want to try and prevent somebody from
maybe making some of the choices that I.
00:38:05.570 --> 00:38:10.100
Made, or having some of I want
them to have another resource,
00:38:10.180 --> 00:38:13.720
another answer to what they're
going through then substances.
00:38:14.270 --> 00:38:17.450
I only felt like a new
substances as a coping skill.
00:38:17.450 --> 00:38:23.140
And so that's what we do in a day
to day and prevention is figure
00:38:23.190 --> 00:38:30.320
out how to go upstream and provide
solutions, answers and education.
00:38:30.350 --> 00:38:32.420
So that downstream looks a lot cleaner.
00:38:33.030 --> 00:38:38.280
Casey Dwyer: That's a great visual and
helping to explain why prevention matters.
00:38:38.790 --> 00:38:44.450
Something you said to me when we first
spoke is that this role, prevention
00:38:44.450 --> 00:38:48.150
and wellness specialist role was
an answer to your prayers and that
00:38:48.150 --> 00:38:51.130
the opposite was true, that you
were the right person for the job.
00:38:51.170 --> 00:38:52.910
And I love that.
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:54.960
I love that confidence.
00:38:55.690 --> 00:38:59.330
That comes when you know that you're in
the right place doing the right thing.
00:38:59.920 --> 00:39:05.958
So I would just, would appreciate it
if you could speak to Maintaining that
00:39:05.978 --> 00:39:10.158
assurance in your role, like I think
imposter syndrome is real for a lot of us.
00:39:10.188 --> 00:39:12.528
I'm not going to put that
onto you, but for a lot of us,
00:39:12.678 --> 00:39:14.468
those feelings can creep in.
00:39:14.508 --> 00:39:16.738
What do you do to maintain
that assurance that this is
00:39:16.738 --> 00:39:18.148
what I'm supposed to be doing.
00:39:18.968 --> 00:39:21.298
I am making a difference in this work.
00:39:21.798 --> 00:39:25.028
Mandy McCarthy: I think it comes
back to what I've been through.
00:39:25.138 --> 00:39:31.078
I was able to see the value of
someone with lived experience.
00:39:31.718 --> 00:39:36.798
Who was equally as deep and
dark in the hole with me and
00:39:36.808 --> 00:39:40.608
the education information.
00:39:41.068 --> 00:39:45.478
Resources light and hope that
they provided in the moment.
00:39:45.708 --> 00:39:54.558
And so through this job and my position
in this job, I see all the time the
00:39:54.558 --> 00:40:00.838
value of having someone with lived
experience out in the community.
00:40:01.438 --> 00:40:08.288
Teaching about mental health challenges,
substance misuse and trauma and
00:40:08.288 --> 00:40:15.008
the impact that can have on the
community to accept what I'm saying,
00:40:15.148 --> 00:40:17.418
because it's not coming from a book.
00:40:17.788 --> 00:40:19.348
It's not coming from a program.
00:40:19.688 --> 00:40:23.818
Those are interlaced and the
information that I'm giving, it's
00:40:23.838 --> 00:40:28.938
not my own information, but I'm
also vulnerable being vulnerable.
00:40:29.273 --> 00:40:35.823
In sharing my story along with the
information and the knowledge and I
00:40:35.823 --> 00:40:43.863
see all the time how that allows people
to be open to what they're hearing
00:40:44.653 --> 00:40:48.213
and to see, hey, this is an issue.
00:40:48.458 --> 00:40:53.648
Or this is something we need to be paying
attention to, or this is a resource that
00:40:53.648 --> 00:40:58.508
might be able to help solve the answer
to the questions that we're having.
00:40:58.728 --> 00:41:03.948
And so I'm able to see all of the
time, the value of having someone
00:41:03.948 --> 00:41:09.048
with lived experience working in
the prevention and wellness spectrum
00:41:09.048 --> 00:41:14.878
because it allows that opportunity
for me to be vulnerable and share.
00:41:15.208 --> 00:41:19.931
And people are hungry
for that vulnerability.
00:41:20.431 --> 00:41:23.081
People want to hear those things.
00:41:23.131 --> 00:41:26.831
They want to see the good
ending, the happy ending, right?
00:41:26.831 --> 00:41:31.671
Because a lot of the times we only
hear the negative or, that people
00:41:31.671 --> 00:41:33.761
don't recover or things like that.
00:41:33.761 --> 00:41:36.781
And so people are hungry to see that.
00:41:36.781 --> 00:41:43.431
And also that is what is important for
us to help break the stigma, right?
00:41:44.563 --> 00:41:49.133
We're not going to be able to break
the stigma around mental health.
00:41:49.848 --> 00:41:56.898
Or around substance use or around trauma
or around suicide if there aren't people
00:41:56.908 --> 00:42:07.388
who are willing to be vulnerable and share
their story and so that's what keeps me.
00:42:07.888 --> 00:42:12.148
Not to you on imposter syndrome or
feeling like I'm don't know, making it
00:42:12.148 --> 00:42:14.298
the Mandy show or anything like that.
00:42:14.348 --> 00:42:22.518
I am actively helping to break down stigma
by being able to share my full self.
00:42:23.143 --> 00:42:26.023
And unashamedly, right?
00:42:26.023 --> 00:42:29.473
So unashamedly share that
I've attempted suicide.
00:42:29.673 --> 00:42:31.393
And there's no shame in that.
00:42:31.656 --> 00:42:33.896
I do not need to be ashamed about that.
00:42:34.166 --> 00:42:36.526
I do not need to be ashamed
about how low I was.
00:42:36.586 --> 00:42:39.956
I do not need to be ashamed about that.
00:42:40.026 --> 00:42:45.806
I lost custody of my son, all of those
things because that breaks stigma.
00:42:46.076 --> 00:42:49.868
And especially when I'm in
the position that I'm in.
00:42:50.558 --> 00:42:56.267
Because in the real world, quote,
unquote, with my background, , I
00:42:56.277 --> 00:43:00.737
might not always have been able to
get a job, like the job that I have.
00:43:01.037 --> 00:43:06.117
But also it takes to it takes
my company being willing to
00:43:06.137 --> 00:43:08.637
give me the job that I have.
00:43:08.687 --> 00:43:13.897
And then how valuable that
opportunity is to be able to
00:43:13.897 --> 00:43:16.867
show people we, we can change.
00:43:17.537 --> 00:43:24.397
We do recover and I can fully
accept how you worded it that past
00:43:24.447 --> 00:43:30.027
life but also fully accept and step
into and walk into the future life.
00:43:30.527 --> 00:43:32.067
And yeah, I just love it.
00:43:32.187 --> 00:43:36.854
And I think the world is ready to break
the stigma because, a lot of people,
00:43:37.034 --> 00:43:38.834
I think, have to struggle in silence.
00:43:39.384 --> 00:43:44.184
And it's not rare, like the,
these things are not rare.
00:43:44.644 --> 00:43:45.904
They're pretty common.
00:43:46.234 --> 00:43:50.554
We do suicide trainings and almost
everyone in the room has been affected
00:43:50.554 --> 00:43:55.194
by suicide, the same with substance
use, everybody knows somebody who's
00:43:55.204 --> 00:43:58.564
struggled with it or has struggled
with it themselves and mental.
00:43:58.874 --> 00:44:01.364
The health conditions, and it's not rare.
00:44:01.644 --> 00:44:06.214
And so the world is just waiting
for people to say that it's okay.
00:44:06.954 --> 00:44:09.684
And it's, it doesn't
have to define who I am.
00:44:10.094 --> 00:44:16.614
I can be all I want to be and be
as successful and as professional,
00:44:17.054 --> 00:44:18.504
even after huge trauma.
00:44:18.504 --> 00:44:18.954
Casey Dwyer: Absolutely.
00:44:19.286 --> 00:44:19.906
I'm wondering.
00:44:20.706 --> 00:44:24.946
For someone who's listening to
our conversation and is feeling
00:44:24.946 --> 00:44:29.546
like, oh, I have experiences to
share, or I have things to give.
00:44:30.086 --> 00:44:31.136
I just haven't found.
00:44:31.721 --> 00:44:36.771
The way to do it yet, like either in a
vocational setting, like the workplace
00:44:36.791 --> 00:44:41.551
or in their personal relationships,
what encouragement would you give to
00:44:41.681 --> 00:44:44.491
them to find their way to that sharing?
00:44:45.041 --> 00:44:46.361
Mandy McCarthy: I would say that.
00:44:46.566 --> 00:44:48.226
It can be different for everybody.
00:44:48.456 --> 00:44:53.956
Depending on the level of comfortability
that you have if you're not
00:44:53.956 --> 00:44:58.246
comfortable with doing it vocally
yet start with journaling, right?
00:44:58.246 --> 00:45:05.306
Start with putting it on paper, sharing
all of your deepest darkest secrets,
00:45:05.306 --> 00:45:07.496
or, whatever's on your heart on paper.
00:45:07.516 --> 00:45:11.136
That's also the safest place if you
don't feel like you have someone.
00:45:12.121 --> 00:45:16.021
Safe to share those things
with, paper's never gonna spread
00:45:16.041 --> 00:45:17.971
your thoughts, and start there.
00:45:17.971 --> 00:45:23.311
But then 2, I would just
encourage you to go for it.
00:45:24.175 --> 00:45:30.065
Find the right opportunity, you don't want
to, and I probably overshared a lot in the
00:45:30.245 --> 00:45:35.905
beginning, don't be wise and who you're
sharing with and where you're sharing and
00:45:35.905 --> 00:45:41.435
what you're sharing in the moment, because
that protects you too and not every, Time
00:45:41.435 --> 00:45:43.625
is the right time to share everything.
00:45:44.075 --> 00:45:48.605
But with all that in mind, just go
for it, and share what you want to
00:45:48.605 --> 00:45:53.675
share, especially if you find the
perfect opportunity, or someone
00:45:54.035 --> 00:45:55.885
is being vulnerable with you.
00:45:55.975 --> 00:45:59.740
And the, you have the
perfect story to share.
00:45:59.940 --> 00:46:06.150
To go along with that vulnerability, be
bold and share it because I do not think.
00:46:06.990 --> 00:46:11.930
That is ever going to be
received in a wrong way.
00:46:12.270 --> 00:46:17.380
I think that people are
starving for connection.
00:46:17.880 --> 00:46:21.000
They want to feel connected to people.
00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:27.230
And so I think if you're willing to be
bold enough to be vulnerable with someone
00:46:27.230 --> 00:46:30.100
else, it's going to be well received.
00:46:30.450 --> 00:46:35.587
And if it ever is not,
then that's okay, too.
00:46:35.627 --> 00:46:40.427
Those just might not be your people,
or the right place to have shared.
00:46:40.637 --> 00:46:45.787
But that doesn't mean that you should
take on any shame in your sharing.
00:46:45.837 --> 00:46:50.197
We live in a world where we are told that.
00:46:50.492 --> 00:46:53.572
We are to be strong all the
time and have it together.
00:46:53.572 --> 00:46:58.792
And that is changing but it's only
changing because of people who are willing
00:46:58.802 --> 00:47:04.552
to be vulnerable and to share their truth
and share their story without any fear
00:47:04.592 --> 00:47:07.762
of what someone else is going to think.
00:47:07.762 --> 00:47:13.152
And so I would say that you would be
being a part of that solution, right?
00:47:13.452 --> 00:47:17.922
And choosing to be vulnerable
no matter the costs.
00:47:18.852 --> 00:47:21.062
Casey Dwyer: It can be
lifesaving to share.
00:47:21.092 --> 00:47:21.332
Mandy McCarthy: Yeah.
00:47:21.332 --> 00:47:21.842
Casey Dwyer: Truly.
00:47:22.195 --> 00:47:22.495
Mandy McCarthy: Yeah.
00:47:22.495 --> 00:47:27.410
You never know what someone is
going through and and substance
00:47:27.410 --> 00:47:31.370
use and suicide and mental
health, it doesn't discriminate.
00:47:31.820 --> 00:47:37.730
You can't look at a person and tell that
they would be affected by those things.
00:47:38.120 --> 00:47:43.100
And so you never know what's going
on the inside in a person, and so
00:47:43.100 --> 00:47:46.221
you truly could be the thing that.
00:47:46.730 --> 00:47:53.730
SA helps save their life the one
light in a dark world around them.
00:47:53.730 --> 00:47:59.020
I think of Kevin Hines and how
he was just hoping that someone
00:47:59.020 --> 00:48:04.115
would stop and notice him, before
he attempted suicide and jumped off
00:48:04.115 --> 00:48:06.355
the Golden Gate Bridge and nobody.
00:48:06.655 --> 00:48:10.725
Nobody stopped to notice him,
nobody was willing to connect.
00:48:10.725 --> 00:48:14.465
And it's important that we see each other.
00:48:15.110 --> 00:48:19.130
And that we're willing to connect
with each other and not just connect
00:48:19.130 --> 00:48:25.280
on a superficial level, or not just
connect because of an agenda, but
00:48:25.300 --> 00:48:31.680
connect because we care about others
and we want to, thrive together.
00:48:32.593 --> 00:48:33.323
Casey Dwyer: Absolutely.
00:48:33.723 --> 00:48:39.603
I'll link the title of Kevin Heinz book
in the episode description for anyone
00:48:39.603 --> 00:48:41.853
listening who's not familiar with him.
00:48:42.033 --> 00:48:45.373
He did survive his suicide
attempt and is a huge.
00:48:45.803 --> 00:48:49.423
Advocate in the mental health
space now, so I'll link that.
00:48:49.543 --> 00:48:55.183
And then Mandy, I, to wrap up would
like to ask you our namesake question.
00:48:55.663 --> 00:48:58.953
What does the process of
awareness to action mean to you
00:48:59.423 --> 00:49:04.983
Mandy McCarthy: when I think of
awareness to action, I think 1st of.
00:49:05.583 --> 00:49:10.963
Storytelling, bringing things to
awareness that education piece,
00:49:11.013 --> 00:49:16.583
letting people know the, what's
going on the facts about things.
00:49:17.133 --> 00:49:20.573
And that's all important
and that's all good.
00:49:20.623 --> 00:49:24.763
But that does nothing
unless there's actually.
00:49:25.043 --> 00:49:30.663
Action and so when I think of awareness
to action, I think using all of that.
00:49:31.268 --> 00:49:39.548
To actually go out and do what is needed
to bring forth the world we want to see
00:49:39.548 --> 00:49:42.128
or the solutions that are out there.
00:49:42.825 --> 00:49:43.755
Casey Dwyer: Fabulous answer.
00:49:44.385 --> 00:49:48.495
I think your whole really your
vocation and your work is the answer
00:49:48.535 --> 00:49:50.305
to the awareness to action question.
00:49:50.315 --> 00:49:52.945
Like, how do you take what
you know and what you've lived
00:49:53.368 --> 00:49:54.068
make change.
00:49:54.428 --> 00:49:57.918
So thank you for the ways
that you do that in your work.
00:49:57.928 --> 00:50:02.428
Thank you for coming on the show and
for sharing your story with us and
00:50:03.288 --> 00:50:07.068
your reflections on why it matters
to tell stories and how you've
00:50:07.068 --> 00:50:08.448
been impacted by other stories.
00:50:09.078 --> 00:50:11.758
I feel really grateful to
have had this conversation.
00:50:11.968 --> 00:50:12.468
So thank you.
00:50:13.568 --> 00:50:14.378
Mandy McCarthy: Thank you so much.
00:50:14.378 --> 00:50:15.368
Thanks for having me.
00:50:15.518 --> 00:50:16.628
I really appreciate it.
00:50:17.293 --> 00:50:20.203
Casey Dwyer: Thanks for listening, and
thank you again to Mandy for joining us.
00:50:20.553 --> 00:50:23.253
If you liked this episode, make
sure to subscribe so you don't miss
00:50:23.313 --> 00:50:24.983
any of our future conversations.