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Hello everybody and welcome to Ask the Answers podcast with myself Adele Cobain and on today's show we are joined by the lovely Ashley that's one of our psychics on Ask the Answers phone line.
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Hello Ashley, how are you?
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Good thanks, how are you?
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Very well, thank you very much.
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So for people that don't know much about you Ashley, before we go into your topic today of what you're passionate about, let's have a little reminder of the ways that you work and how long you've been a psychic for.
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Yeah, so I've been a psychic working for other people for ten years, but a psychic all my life.
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I've always been quite intuitive.
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I basically get someone that needs support on any aspect of their life.
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They can tell me whatever they want.
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I tend to like working in a specific area or a specific topic because I feel like when people come to me, they want a specific guidance, but they might say, oh, general, but you want specific guidance.
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So I tend to kind of ask like generally what's going on.
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And then I ask source, connect through my crown and give them the details.
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Perfect.
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And is it something that you went into later on in life or have you done this all your life since you can remember?
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I went into it pretty late in life.
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I had like sort of a spiritual crisis where everything kind of tumbled down.
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And then around the age of twenty six, I was really exploring my psychic abilities, which is ten years ago.
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So I was really exploring my psychic abilities and I started working for myself and understanding my own situation and then helping other people at the same time.
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Perfect.
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And what do you believe is your purpose as a psychic now?
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I think my purpose is to help people to understand a situation and then heal from that situation to give practical thorough advice so that they can sort of navigate it rather than just kind of sit in it.
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I'm very solution driven, so I want to help people reach the solutions rather than stay in the energies.
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Yeah.
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which is perfect for today's topic when we do get stuck in a situation and we want you to know what's the best approach to take because today your topic is looking at love, looking at the purpose in love and sacred connection.
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So tell us a little bit about why you wanted to have a little chat about this today.
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I think love is super important.
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I'm going through my own individual love journey for myself and understanding what I overall want in a partner, but mainly who I am as a being and how to show up in love as a being rather than expecting the external to validate me.
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I'm trying to validate me to match with that aligned partner.
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And I love love.
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I'm a lover girl.
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So I really like talking about it.
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And I don't know if I have a controversial view of it, but I typically am not the psychic that believes in twin flames.
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I do believe in soulmates because I think it provides toxicity in love, like in people typically running after that sort of toxic, fiery emotion instead of like aligning to what makes sense for you and where you feel safe.
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So I guess I want to kind of change the narrative, maybe.
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Yeah, no, I get that.
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And it's funny, isn't it?
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Because, you know, we often don't realize how much we do change in relationships.
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Like, you know, I don't change.
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I'm exactly how I was when they met me.
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But, you know, sometimes until you get to that point where you're very much aware of yourself, I know when I look back on my relationships, I definitely changed in relationships.
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So I mean, from being this real independent, go-getting person to then not wanting to go out and staying at home, I wanted to please the man.
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But that's not who they met.
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They met that person that was outgoing and going for it.
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But then they wanted something different.
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And then I acted in a different way.
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And then suddenly long, well, not even long term with those relationships last about three or six months because suddenly it's like, actually, this is not working because it's not who I am.
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And you don't always notice the change until you look back on it.
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Exactly.
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Yeah.
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I think like everybody changes their relationships for good or for worse.
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Yeah.
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And yeah, hindsight is really twenty twenty.
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Especially when you can.
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It is the right word, but saying that sometimes we do get quite desperate in love, you know, especially when you so desperately want it.
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You sometimes can end up putting up with stuff you wouldn't normally put up with because you so just want to be in love and be in a relationship and have that perfect ending.
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Yeah.
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And I think there's nothing wrong with that, but I think as a society, we're almost taught that our worth and our value really comes from our relationships.
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And so, especially I believe for women.
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And so I think we almost kind of put up with things that we normally wouldn't because, you know, we have this value just by being in the relationship itself.
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So it's like, well, my value has, you know, gone up.
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So why not, put up with this and that and this and that, and then your boundaries are completely broken because you've found your value through that relationship instead of, I believe, found your value probably before through yourself and the connection you have with yourself.
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So what is your role as a psychic then, you know, when it comes to love?
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Because, you know, there's not one set manual for love.
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You know, it can be very complicated.
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You have all different sort of, you know, stages of relationships, different ages of people.
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So, I mean, it can be quite, I don't know, maybe challenging sometimes for you as a psychic or do you find it quite naturally easy to guide somebody in love?
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I think it's quite challenging because I feel like people often come trying to hear what they want to hear.
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They want to hear like this person really cares about them when they probably deep down know the answers.
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I'm just here to confirm them or not.
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And I think I find love readings the most challenging.
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I don't think I'm alone in this as a psychic either.
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I was reading on threads that Some people are like, I'm never going to do a love reading again.
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I don't feel that way.
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But I can understand it because it's like people really get triggered if you're not saying, yeah, this person loves you and cares about you.
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And also it's complicated because a lot of times I can see like this person does love and care about you, but they just like on a human level cannot act in a way that is loving and caring because of their own things that are going on behind them.
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in their own conscious and subconscious.
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And that's really hard to reiterate to somebody when they're like, but I know they do love me.
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You're correct, but that doesn't change how they're probably acting or going to act in the future.
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Yeah, and I suppose that's what, you know, having a reading is about.
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Is it worth holding on to that relationship?
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Because sometimes it could be.
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Maybe that person seems to sort out their own, you know, situation or their own issues or, you know, maybe they've got lots going on, whether it's their family or their career and right now isn't the right time, but that doesn't mean to say that relationship's not going to work.
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But then for other people, it might be the fact that you've given that, you know, too much time now and actually they're not going to change and, you know, you're not their priority and sometimes people need to hear that.
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Yeah, I think sometimes people need to hear that.
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I think what I've noticed really is that people like hearing the fact that they are cared about, you know, that this person does really care about them and giving them that, not to say that I'm giving them that because that's what they want to hear, but if I'm seeing that.
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reiterating the unconscious and subconscious things that are going on, people do wanna hear that because they don't see it.
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They're just seeing the action and maybe the action does not meet their heart.
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But if I can tap into the unconscious and subconscious for them to say like, hey, this isn't your fault.
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It's got more to do with them than it does to do with you.
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I think that has really helped people to be like, okay, it's not me.
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I didn't do anything wrong.
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Yes, this person's got stuff.
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OK, I can move on or I can take this sort of path.
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Yeah.
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And sometimes I realize maybe even those relationships that don't take it personally, sometimes it's got nothing to do with you.
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Yes, there's always things that we can work on ourselves and, you know, be better at.
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But sometimes I actually don't take it personally, but it's just it's not the right relationship for them at the moment.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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I mean, what do you think?
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I mean, for you, what would be the first steps of finding the right partner?
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You know, do you have any tips that you can give people that are listening?
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Yeah, I think look within.
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I know it's cliche, but if you want to attract the right partners, what energy are you omitting out?
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If you're desperate and you're, I need to find a partner, you might find a partner, but it might not be the right one because you don't know You know, you don't know your own standards.
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You don't know where you are at.
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You just really want to find love.
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And also I would say start making a list.
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You know, people are like, oh, don't make a list and stuff like that.
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I think it's a good idea.
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I would not be in the beginning if you're just starting out to look for love.
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be so prescriptive because you might find it in meeting a particular person and you're like, Oh, I like this, but I don't like this.
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Um, so, but a general list of what that person looks like, what, who that person is, personality traits, um, even the external, like whether that person can afford you, you know, I, you know, you don't want to think about those things, but those things are real and human.
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Um, and even be curious, you know, date, different people, people that you might not normally date, or just be curious when you go into a date to just be like, okay, I'm going to find out.
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I feel like, and I do this, I feel like on the first date, I'm very much like, I know, because I am a psychic, I know very quickly, like, I like this person.
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I don't like this person.
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Um, But then the curiosity just drops and I haven't really gotten to know this person and their human self versus their higher self might be acting extremely different.
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So yeah, I would say those top three things is probably the best way to approach love.
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What about, I mean, it's in the media at the moment.
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I don't know if you've seen or follow much about the news, but Katie Price has got engaged after a week of a romance with a multimillionaire guy in Dubai.
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And the family all shocked.
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They didn't see it coming.
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After a week, she's engaged.
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Do you think you can know someone well enough in a week?
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No.
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I think you can definitely feel an attachment to somebody.
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I've been in that sort of situation where I've definitely felt like, oh, I really like this person.
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This person is it.
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But I would still say let the human self develop into the relationship to get to know them.
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Because again, like I said, the higher self and the human self operate on two different frequencies.
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And you might see these excellent qualities in the higher self and the two higher selves are meeting in the astral plane but then the human self is not meeting the standards in which the higher self wants to go to at that time and time really does tell you what who that person is so i don't know um she'll be fine i'm sure but like um i get that i i've been you know it's like you know sometimes you have such a strong bond with somebody that you've just met you think wow it'll be explosive and that infatuation they're like yeah i really fancy them and you know and and you think they're definitely the one but you know again um over time or in a short period of time, it starts to fizzle out sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes that fizzles out and you think, oh, actually, what did I see in that person?
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I really don't like them at all.
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And it's hoping to be so extreme to then have so like, don't come near me.
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Yeah, it's crazy.
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Like even, you know, recently an ex got back in touch with me and I was just like, what did I see in that person?
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But you're also a different person at the time that you meet that person.
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Exactly.
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I don't know, the week is extreme.
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I suppose there's some people that, you know, they just literally, you know, life's too short and just want to experience, you know, just those, yeah, just...
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i don't even know what the right word would be but you know just going with it and just letting things happen and seeing you know where it could lead i suppose and just jumping in the deep end especially when you have been in relationships or been married and you had children you might have that attitude like oh well you know i've been there done that you know if it works it works if it doesn't it doesn't type of attitude about the moment i'm enjoying it i'm living in the present I think that's great for a relationship.
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I think it's great to go into it like, well, you know, I've done all the experiences.
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I just want to have fun and enjoy life.
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But to get married, it seems a bit formalized to do that.
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Yeah.
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And that's when you've got to look at your values when you're in a relationship, because some people don't see marriage as a big thing.
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You know, they take it with a pinch of salt.
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I'll get married, but I get divorced next week.
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So, you know, it's no big deal.
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But for other people, you know, it's a massive commitment.
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And so, you know, bless my friends.
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We got together at the same time with our partners.
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We've been together with our partners for, oh God, broke me on the spot now, but right about twelve years.
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And we got married after like two years of being together.
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And she literally got married last year.
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That has been a long engagement.
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Unfortunately, he didn't feel he wanted to commit.
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He didn't see it as a big deal, but she's had children with him.
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She wanted that final commitment.
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It meant a lot to her.
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And again, in relationships, you know, that's what you have to look at sometimes is that people's beliefs and morals and, you know, what they both want can sometimes be a bit of a challenge and compromise.
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And, you know, well, it's not important to me.
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Well, it is important to me, you know, and trying to match that up and to make it work.
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Yeah, I think values is so important.
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I didn't really think about values until very recently.
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And I think I asked an ex-boyfriend what his values are and he didn't have any, which probably should have been a right one.
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But I think that's another thing of time that can kind of get that understanding where maybe you don't have set of values, but you live by a certain code of conduct and you can kind of witness whether that person is living by that code, but without having time, you don't really see if they will.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And what sort of, you know, relationship questions have you had recently on the phone lines?
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What's been coming through, you know, this year?
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What sort of has been the trend lately?
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I don't know if there's a trend, but it's like, how does this person feel about me?
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I don't really understand what they're doing.
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Like, it seems like they want this, they want this type of relationship, but they're doing this type of thing.
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It does seem like, again, people are not understanding, like they get this feeling from them that people like them, that the person that they like likes them, but they're just not operating in a way that shows that.
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Yeah.
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And that commitment is a big thing because people do want to keep their free.
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A lot of people want to keep that freedom, you know, commitment.
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They might seem as quite scary that that freedom is going to go.
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But that doesn't mean that has to go in a relationship.
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You know, commitment doesn't mean that you're trapped and you can't live your life and, you know, spread your wings.
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And maybe that has happened in maybe previous relationships where people have felt like that and scared of going back into another one for that to happen where, you know, they lose a bit of themselves.
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I do think so.
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I also think there's something around what commitment looks like, maybe.
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And maybe commitment looks like, yeah, we're just spending our time together and we're in the present.
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And when we come together, we're committed.
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But when we leave, not so much.
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And I think it goes back to what you're saying about the alignment of values.
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Maybe commitment looks one way for some people and looks another way for another person.
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And I think there's a whole culture of situationship, and that's not really aligning for certain people.
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Yeah.
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And women can change their minds quite often as well.
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What you think you want might not be what you want.
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And I remember me and my husband, before we had children and before we got married, when we were sort of first dating, I remember being in a car and we were saying our sort of goodbyes.
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And I remember saying, you know, what do you want, you know, in the next sort of few years?
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And he was saying what he wanted about that.
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And I said, you know, I'd love to have what I had as a child, where I had that security and that support and everything.
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you know, you know, that my partner, my husband will be able to provide when I'm off having the children and stuff like that.
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And he said, I promise you, in the next four years, I'll be able to do that for you.
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And he kept his word, you know, he grafted, he went from, you know, a job from very low money had to start all over again, build his way up to the point where he could support me and me having my first child and taking some time off work.
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And that was what I always wanted until it happened.
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And then I was like, actually, I want to go back to work now.
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It's been three to six months and I just need a break.
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I just need my own time.
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And then that was a little bit of a conflict.
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It was a bit like, well, I'm working hard to provide, to support you.
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And now you want to go back to work.
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So sometimes it's okay to change your mind, but sometimes what you think you want is maybe not always what you want when it actually comes to fruition.
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Yeah, I would totally agree.
00:18:22.632 --> 00:18:30.276
And I would say like, everybody, you know, does it like, like, I don't know, I feel like everyone is changing their mind constantly.
00:18:30.434 --> 00:18:38.181
And it's due to circumstances in the present moment, you know, like, when I was younger, I wanted, you know, a princess dress and a big wedding.
00:18:38.221 --> 00:18:46.192
And then, you know, as an older person, seeing that pound wedding is not conducive to what I want.
00:18:46.332 --> 00:18:49.074
Like, I'd rather have a house and a nice holiday.
00:18:49.094 --> 00:18:55.739
So, like, I think it's just a matter of, like, so many people are changing their mind in relationships, too.
00:18:55.778 --> 00:19:00.981
Like, I feel like one moment, you know, I've dated somebody and they've been really into me.
00:19:01.021 --> 00:19:03.765
The next moment, they're completely off me.
00:19:03.923 --> 00:19:06.185
And it could be because somebody else came into their life.
00:19:06.207 --> 00:19:07.807
It could be their circumstances.
00:19:07.826 --> 00:19:08.508
It could be their work.
00:19:08.627 --> 00:19:12.271
It's just, like, That's another thing with relationships and being curious.
00:19:12.333 --> 00:19:19.180
I think if you're coming in curious, then you're not coming in with these hard, fast line rules.
00:19:19.710 --> 00:19:23.549
where someone else has to follow them, which is really hard for somebody else to do.
00:19:23.569 --> 00:19:24.971
And it's really hard for you to do.
00:19:25.589 --> 00:19:28.412
And you can kind of grow in this alignment together.
00:19:28.432 --> 00:19:30.172
And that's like the perfect relationship.
00:19:30.372 --> 00:19:31.471
Yeah.
00:19:31.592 --> 00:19:40.074
And it can be sad and very frustrating when you do get a bit blindsided, where someone is very good with their words and promise you this and promises that, and you're the best.
00:19:40.114 --> 00:19:42.212
And, oh, you know, I can't believe our connection.
00:19:42.252 --> 00:19:44.252
And then, like I said, next week, they're ghosting you.
00:19:44.272 --> 00:19:45.015
They're not speaking to you.
00:19:45.035 --> 00:19:45.115
Yeah.
00:19:48.115 --> 00:20:12.721
what's happened yeah and that's I think the hardest and I think a lot of people are dealing with that as well too is like this person was super into me and then next minute they're not you know they wait till the guards come down you open up and then like yeah and it's like And that's another thing that I'm trying to help people through is like, it's not you, it's them.
00:20:12.862 --> 00:20:13.583
Absolutely.
00:20:13.884 --> 00:20:14.084
Yeah.
00:20:14.285 --> 00:20:16.646
You wanted to talk about sort of sacred connections.
00:20:16.887 --> 00:20:17.951
What do you mean by that?
00:20:19.230 --> 00:20:24.015
I guess my idea of a sacred connection is a connection that can meet you exactly where you are.
00:20:24.316 --> 00:20:27.656
You know, you don't have to be doing anything.
00:20:27.738 --> 00:20:36.242
I think a lot of times in, you know, we're constantly having to do for the other and it's like, yes, that's a part of it.
00:20:36.522 --> 00:20:38.586
You know, you can't just show up and be like, okay, I'm here.
00:20:38.846 --> 00:20:39.144
Nothing.
00:20:40.685 --> 00:20:45.769
But I think the sacred connection is when you're like, you are yourself, they are themselves.
00:20:46.250 --> 00:20:47.352
You both can come together.
00:20:47.894 --> 00:21:00.124
And I kind of want to move this away from twin flames because a lot of people talk about twin flames being the sacred connection that we're opposites, we're opposites in astrology, we're opposites and we're fighting and that's supposed to create growth.
00:21:00.683 --> 00:21:02.944
And yes and no.
00:21:04.067 --> 00:21:08.690
Of course, polarities do create growth and do catalyze change.
00:21:09.111 --> 00:21:15.153
But I don't necessarily believe that you cannot be yourself and that person can't be themselves.
00:21:15.795 --> 00:21:20.519
And you can't catalyze change, not just through conflict, but also through joy.
00:21:21.941 --> 00:21:25.585
And I think a lot of times we think of, oh, the conflict is what's going to catalyze.
00:21:25.805 --> 00:21:42.026
Joy can also catalyze you being loved just as yourself can make you expand, your heart expands, can make you expand, more innovative, more creative, just a better person, a better partner, a better friend in your life and better at work as well.
00:21:42.144 --> 00:21:48.528
So I think that should be the new narrative of a sacred connection.
00:21:48.567 --> 00:21:49.728
Yeah, no, absolutely.
00:21:50.468 --> 00:21:59.933
When you're speaking to people on the phone lines and, you know, They have been in toxic relationships and they're wanting to change that.
00:22:00.075 --> 00:22:12.983
You know, it can take a lot of work when you've had years of either abuse or a controlling relationship, trying to break free from that and see what is... Because that becomes the norm, you know, for a lot of people.
00:22:13.005 --> 00:22:16.886
That becomes the norm that someone putting you down or talking not nice to you or...
00:22:17.268 --> 00:22:18.127
whatever it might be.
00:22:18.269 --> 00:22:20.631
So trying to almost reprogram yourself.
00:22:20.951 --> 00:22:28.355
I mean, is that some of the work that you could do on the phone lines for people that are trying to, you know, get out of that and not have those triggers?
00:22:29.155 --> 00:22:29.718
Yes.
00:22:30.576 --> 00:22:36.981
The reason why I say that is because I don't think a lot of people want to.
00:22:37.604 --> 00:22:46.355
And that's sort of the challenge that I'm seeing is people And maybe it's like you said, people are so used to it that they don't know another way.
00:22:46.395 --> 00:22:47.738
There's no potential.
00:22:47.836 --> 00:22:51.057
And actually to change it would be quite difficult and hard.
00:22:51.877 --> 00:22:53.637
And it can be a lonely journey.
00:22:55.680 --> 00:23:26.863
So in the, you know, twenty minutes that I'm talking to them, it's like I am encouraging, but sometimes to be frank nobody wants to hear that because it's like yeah but I want this person and it's like so yes I do try to say yeah but this person is in this position right now that doesn't mean that they that you're a bad person that doesn't mean that you're not worthy of a connection that you deserve but this person is just there and some people are open to hearing it I'd I think most people are not because they are very stuck.
00:23:27.143 --> 00:23:31.964
But I try to say, step away from this situation.
00:23:32.105 --> 00:23:32.846
It's not you.
00:23:32.884 --> 00:23:33.445
It's them.
00:23:35.386 --> 00:23:37.409
And then let's move in a different direction.
00:23:37.647 --> 00:23:41.310
What do you need at this period of time to get over this person?
00:23:41.612 --> 00:23:44.031
What do you need at this period of time to move through the grief?
00:23:44.173 --> 00:23:45.212
Because there will be grief.
00:23:46.355 --> 00:23:48.056
It is going to be hard either way.
00:23:48.115 --> 00:23:49.415
It's going to be hard in this connection.
00:23:50.320 --> 00:24:21.346
consistently putting up with someone who is not loving you the way that you deserve it's also going to be hard to grieve sometimes you just have to take the steps of grieving yeah there was something that i um saw on one of my friends posts about how sometimes people like being being like suffering they almost they get to that point where it's I can't remember what the saying was, but it was basically the fact that they enjoyed almost suffering.
00:24:21.365 --> 00:24:22.548
It gave them something to talk about.
00:24:22.606 --> 00:24:27.913
And if they didn't have that, if they didn't have anything to moan about or groan about, they wouldn't have anything, almost.
00:24:28.291 --> 00:24:29.512
They had that sort of attitude.
00:24:29.732 --> 00:24:31.516
Did you ever come across anything like that?
00:24:32.287 --> 00:24:32.685
Yes.
00:24:33.886 --> 00:24:43.174
When I was doing a lot of healing work on myself, there is something called like the victim energy where people enjoy being a victim.
00:24:43.434 --> 00:24:44.717
And I do.
00:24:45.596 --> 00:24:46.478
I don't want to be morose.
00:24:46.557 --> 00:24:52.563
I think a lot of people have learned that behavior because it's easier and it's knowledgeable.
00:24:52.643 --> 00:24:54.943
Like, you know what you're getting into.
00:24:55.065 --> 00:24:56.766
I know I'm getting into this toxic relationship.
00:24:56.806 --> 00:24:57.645
I've done it before.
00:24:57.826 --> 00:24:58.548
I can do it again.
00:24:59.231 --> 00:25:22.256
um versus what it would mean to stop the suffering loop it would be hard work because i don't know what's on the other side of that and i used to look at people and judge people and be like why do you want to be a victim like as someone who used to be a victim pulled themselves away from that it is very challenging i must admit but after a while it does get easier.
00:25:22.296 --> 00:25:28.499
Whereas if you're still continuing down that consistent road of being a victim, it's never gonna change.
00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:42.041
So I have, so it's almost like being the, I don't know what it's called, perpetrator of your own life, where you're taking control and you're taking your power back, but that can look very scary when you've been powerless all your life.
00:25:42.343 --> 00:25:59.006
So I'm trying to come, even as I approach like my work, I'm trying to come from more of a empathetic point of view to help people to even put a little tiny blip in their mind to be like, you are going down the same road and it will be the same road.
00:25:59.046 --> 00:26:06.769
It's like, you know, I think Albert Einstein said, if you keep, you know, doing the same thing and expecting a different result, it's insanity.
00:26:07.390 --> 00:26:16.692
That's what you're going to get versus, you know, maybe you don't know what's at the end of that other road, but I can quite honestly tell you it's going to be something different.
00:26:17.173 --> 00:26:18.055
Yeah.
00:26:18.115 --> 00:26:18.654
It's funny, isn't it?
00:26:18.674 --> 00:26:21.817
Because that saying as well, like, choose your battles.
00:26:22.117 --> 00:26:29.243
You know, sometimes, not just in love, but in your everyday life, you think, oh, it's not even worth it, just I'll just let that go for now.
00:26:29.285 --> 00:26:33.086
When actually, you would probably normally go, no, actually, that's not right, or I don't like that.
00:26:33.367 --> 00:26:34.690
But sometimes you think, actually, it's not worth it.
00:26:34.710 --> 00:26:39.134
It's not worth that big whole argument over it, you know, just so I can get my point across.
00:26:39.153 --> 00:26:39.314
Yeah.
00:26:39.492 --> 00:26:46.855
So, so many times we do in life, brushings under the carpet that normally we'd like to speak out about or say, actually, I don't, you don't want the hassle of it all.
00:26:46.875 --> 00:27:04.463
You know, even people, when we see, you know, people in the news, you know, who've either been going down a bit of a rabbit hole here, but, you know, when you see people getting attacked or stuff like that and bystanders don't get involved or a car breaks down, how many times have you gone past a car that's broken down and your head thinking, oh, should I stop and ask for help?
00:27:04.483 --> 00:27:06.586
Oh, I can't because I've got to pick up the kids up in about ten minutes.
00:27:06.625 --> 00:27:07.885
I haven't got time to do that.
00:27:08.086 --> 00:27:24.981
know and things like that you just think oh gosh you know so many times you think i haven't got time i haven't got time to be selfish you know but you don't want to bother with the hassle you can't be dealing with it so let's just brush that one under the carpet because it's easier to do that than it is to actually stop and pay attention Yeah, that's true.
00:27:25.643 --> 00:27:30.727
But I would say with one's own personal journey, it's like you always have time for it.
00:27:30.747 --> 00:27:32.708
You have time to be in that toxic relationship.
00:27:32.728 --> 00:27:39.913
You have time to get out of it and choose something new, you know, because it's just going to continue and you're just going to suffer.
00:27:39.932 --> 00:27:47.478
And then you end up, you know, boring everybody else in your life, complaining about the same thing, and then you're not doing anything about it.
00:27:47.698 --> 00:27:56.445
And some people can live with a level of like quiet misery, I would say, and continue down that same road.
00:27:58.166 --> 00:27:59.209
I personally can't.
00:27:59.788 --> 00:28:05.731
I also believe that when you get so uncomfortable and everybody has their breaking point, it just depends on what yours is.
00:28:06.814 --> 00:28:10.355
When you get so uncomfortable with the status quo, you will want to change.
00:28:10.596 --> 00:28:16.019
And a lot of times in that sort of journey, you kind of, it's called a hero's journey.
00:28:16.420 --> 00:28:20.285
In that sort of journey, you kind of like, ah, no, I don't really want to change.
00:28:20.305 --> 00:28:21.605
And you go back, you go back, go back.
00:28:21.726 --> 00:28:30.315
And I hope people can understand that in love and in loving yourself, because I think that's part of the sacred relationship.
00:28:32.848 --> 00:28:35.392
It doesn't, don't fault yourself for going back.
00:28:35.692 --> 00:28:37.953
Don't fault yourself for going back to that toxic relationship.
00:28:37.973 --> 00:28:39.957
Don't fault yourself for going back to that victim.
00:28:40.037 --> 00:28:43.338
It's going to take a lot for you to get to the other side.
00:28:43.578 --> 00:28:51.185
And a lot of times you're going to repeat cycles and cycles, but there will be a point where you hit a brick wall and say, you know what?
00:28:51.207 --> 00:28:52.528
Can't do this anymore.
00:28:52.567 --> 00:28:53.367
Got to do something else.
00:28:54.679 --> 00:29:03.226
And do people call, you know, people are listening by thinking, you know, I just want to have a chat about this and, you know, have a reading or just get some guidance on what I'm going through.
00:29:03.546 --> 00:29:10.471
You know, can just one reading make a difference or does somebody need to have quite a few readings, you know, to help them through a period like that?
00:29:12.231 --> 00:29:15.615
I would say quite a few readings because energy changes.
00:29:17.615 --> 00:29:21.700
One reading can click in your head like, hey, I don't want to do this anymore.
00:29:22.038 --> 00:29:30.316
But to get help to kind of push through, The journey of getting away from that, probably you would want quite a few more readings.
00:29:31.317 --> 00:29:33.182
But yeah, one reading can spark change.
00:29:35.969 --> 00:29:37.409
That's good to know.
00:29:37.429 --> 00:29:39.170
The power, the power of a psychic reader.
00:29:40.151 --> 00:29:45.231
And we're talking about relationships, toxic relationships, sacred relationships, you know, soul connections.
00:29:45.593 --> 00:29:48.114
What about, you know, people that are in relationships?
00:29:48.134 --> 00:29:50.015
They've been in relationships for a long, long time.
00:29:51.454 --> 00:29:55.458
And just keeping that spark alive and, you know, keeping that energy flowing.
00:29:55.616 --> 00:31:04.166
um dare i say i'm coming to that age of being perimenopausal and you know your emotions and your hormones and you know they even say things like you know you've been with this person you love and then suddenly you can't even stand their smell you can't you don't want to be touched or you know you you just don't really snappy and they irritate you and things like that and you think i know i'm being silly i know i'm overthinking things but you can't you can't help your hormones and how you're feeling and sometimes that other half also doesn't understand because they're not a woman you know and making sure that you can keep that connection going and it not drift yeah i think being in relationships is challenging because you are growing at different moments in time and space i would say coming together having a check-in regularly just being like you know how are you feeling how are you feeling is a good way to connect to the other person um i also think as women we really do not talk about the need for the divine masculine to step up and like create that safe space to say, you know, well, it's not about me right now.
00:31:04.307 --> 00:31:05.127
It's about you.
00:31:05.269 --> 00:31:06.429
You're going through a lot.
00:31:06.929 --> 00:31:08.108
I don't have my hormones.
00:31:08.230 --> 00:31:08.971
They have hormones.
00:31:08.990 --> 00:31:12.270
They go through their own stuff, but like, it's not at the same level.
00:31:13.573 --> 00:31:18.153
I actually just saw this movie called babes with Alana Glazer and Michelle Buteau.
00:31:18.693 --> 00:31:20.375
And they were talking about pregnancy.
00:31:20.615 --> 00:31:24.298
And one of the characters was just like, you know, I'm tired.
00:31:24.356 --> 00:31:28.250
And she was going through like, like postpartum essentially.
00:31:28.769 --> 00:31:32.713
And her partner was just like, just allowed her to talk and speak and be.
00:31:33.375 --> 00:31:41.363
And I would say, I don't talk to many men, but I have talked to some men who do want to step into this role.
00:31:41.383 --> 00:31:49.029
So I found that fascinating of just letting, you know, your partner just be and not judge them and not come from a place of judgment.
00:31:49.809 --> 00:32:24.250
And, and, you know maybe it's a matter of kind of understanding who they are as people like what's going on in the unconscious what's going on in the subconscious as well that's where I can come in as like this outer layer that's happening or the shadow that's happening because that can inform why someone is acting the way that they are acting and it most of the time has nothing to do with you or their partner it has to do with them and what they're going through And just sort of coming from that place of understanding can help, you know, in these hard and difficult moments, understand the other person.
00:32:24.269 --> 00:32:24.810
Definitely.
00:32:25.132 --> 00:32:30.096
And I think if you have that space, you can think a little bit clearer and be a bit more aware.
00:32:30.115 --> 00:32:39.804
But I think if people are, you know, in that rat race of work and here, there and everywhere, and you're both tired, you're both snappy, it becomes a bit of a battle of who's done this and who's done that.
00:32:39.824 --> 00:32:41.766
Well, I've had a more tiring day than you and did a little...
00:32:42.404 --> 00:32:44.928
And it's trying to step away from reacting like that.
00:32:44.948 --> 00:32:51.833
And I know that, you know, you also, sometimes with the gentleman, you don't want to come across as like you're being a mother.
00:32:52.093 --> 00:32:55.996
You don't want to be like telling them off, telling them what to do.
00:32:56.277 --> 00:33:03.260
So sometimes trying to get your point across can sometimes come across like that, which automatically with lots of guys that put their guards up and they won't listen to you.
00:33:03.540 --> 00:33:08.065
When actually you just want them to listen and say, you know, actually, you know, I'm not feeling great today.
00:33:08.085 --> 00:33:11.146
Or I do just, sometimes you just want them to read your mind and just do things.
00:33:11.228 --> 00:33:11.366
Yeah.
00:33:12.229 --> 00:34:16.427
tell them but unfortunately the majority of time we do have to tell them because they don't get it and they say well just why don't you tell me why don't you say you were tired why don't you ask me to do the washing up I shouldn't have to but you can see I'm passionate about this Ashley I'm not the only one I hear you Adele I hear you Adele i mean my husband's great you know he does step up when needed when i start snapping then he knows i've been pushing the limits but um but generally it would be nice if they we didn't have to tell them but sometimes we do have to just let them know and communicate because you know they're not mind readers yeah and how you communicate i mean like i just went through this recently it's like i realized how i was communicating to somebody was very emotive like i was just like i'm feeling all these things like and you should know it and it's like this person didn't hear me you know um and the only way that they could hear me was you know, like not only, I didn't even step into my logical mind, which I thought like, oh, that's how to communicate to a man.
00:34:16.507 --> 00:34:24.570
No, I literally just was direct and clear and was like, I need specifically this from you.
00:34:24.811 --> 00:34:26.911
He was like, oh, okay, got it.
00:34:26.951 --> 00:34:33.338
You know, like, um, And my energy shifted and I had to kind of simmer down.
00:34:33.398 --> 00:34:37.159
And I think we do communicate differently.
00:34:37.239 --> 00:34:39.840
Men and women do communicate very differently.
00:34:40.001 --> 00:34:44.202
And sometimes it's super frustrating because when I talk to my girlfriends, they know exactly what I'm saying.
00:34:44.503 --> 00:34:47.023
When I'm talking to my guy friends, they have no idea what I'm saying.
00:34:50.105 --> 00:34:58.148
And I think when you do know your partner for a long time, you start to understand how their communication styles are and it gets easier.
00:34:59.349 --> 00:35:03.710
but it's still a challenge because then you are triggered and then they are triggered.
00:35:03.751 --> 00:35:09.753
So it is such like a dance, but having patience, I think will help.
00:35:09.813 --> 00:35:14.414
And then not snapping, you know, not going into, okay, well, this is your fault.
00:35:14.974 --> 00:35:18.456
It's like, well, what can I do to help you hear me?
00:35:18.876 --> 00:35:26.338
And I think hearing to be understood rather hearing to get your point across and to compete is a totally different way of communicating.
00:35:26.699 --> 00:35:26.838
Yeah.
00:35:28.646 --> 00:35:35.351
Oh, it's a complex one when it comes to love, and I'm sure there's going to be people listening.
00:35:35.391 --> 00:35:42.255
The great thing about having a psychic reading, and I've said this before when we've spoken to people, is that, you know, there's not, as I mentioned before, a manual to love.
00:35:42.275 --> 00:35:46.478
There's going to be so many people in all different stages, you know, more than one person involved.
00:35:46.498 --> 00:35:49.081
There could be love triangles, there could be exes, there could be...
00:35:49.481 --> 00:35:52.141
You know, new love on the horizon.
00:35:52.202 --> 00:35:53.222
You could be just dating.
00:35:53.242 --> 00:35:54.603
You could be married for a long time.
00:35:55.063 --> 00:35:59.844
All different, whether you're gay, bisexual, whatever your preference is, you know, on the phone lines.
00:36:00.284 --> 00:36:01.606
It's nonjudgmental.
00:36:01.786 --> 00:36:02.686
It's private.
00:36:02.726 --> 00:36:06.168
Because I think sometimes people think, oh, I'm going to be a bit embarrassed or this could be really awkward.
00:36:06.208 --> 00:36:07.827
But I just need to know these things.
00:36:07.887 --> 00:36:09.188
I need to speak to somebody about it.
00:36:10.545 --> 00:36:44.150
yeah i mean i'm not judging you uh i'm not even really listening from a place of my lower chakras where i'm connecting to how i would feel i just had a call like that i wouldn't go into why i felt like that but i was just like my human self would not be happy right now listening to this person but i was like i'm not listening for my human self i'm listening to give you guidance and that's how i took it yeah um so I hope, and I hope every psychic is like this.
00:36:44.730 --> 00:36:52.893
I know every psychic is not, but I trust that everyone on Ask the Answers is that they're just hearing you to help you.
00:36:52.952 --> 00:36:55.393
They're not hearing to be like, oh, that person did that.
00:36:55.434 --> 00:36:58.235
Let me go talk about this person to another person.
00:36:58.956 --> 00:37:04.340
I hope everyone feels safe and comfortable to come to Psychic to get a reading.
00:37:04.420 --> 00:37:04.958
Absolutely.
00:37:04.958 --> 00:37:07.599
Do you feel you've got everything across that you wanted to to the listeners?
00:37:07.659 --> 00:37:10.742
Is there anything else you want to mention before we wrap it up today?
00:37:12.965 --> 00:37:15.467
Yeah, I mean, I think I've said everything.
00:37:15.507 --> 00:37:17.608
It's like, love yourself, you'll find someone else.
00:37:17.648 --> 00:37:21.510
But also, I do want to say that relationships are super, super important.
00:37:21.831 --> 00:37:25.833
The way you understand how your relationship with yourself is, is in relationship.
00:37:25.873 --> 00:37:28.474
And it can't be an island just because you love yourself.
00:37:30.001 --> 00:37:30.961
everything's hunky dory.
00:37:31.021 --> 00:37:36.704
No, it's relationships are like the, not the battleground, but it does test like, have you been working on yourself?
00:37:36.744 --> 00:37:37.105
Cool.
00:37:37.125 --> 00:37:37.885
Do you love yourself?
00:37:37.945 --> 00:37:38.286
Yes.
00:37:38.726 --> 00:37:40.806
You know, like it is that for you.
00:37:40.847 --> 00:37:42.987
So I do believe both are super important.
00:37:43.833 --> 00:37:52.097
Do you know what, that just reminds me of someone that said that earlier on, that they almost disagreed about the fact that you can't love other people until you start loving yourself.
00:37:52.137 --> 00:38:01.684
Because they were saying how they were, they went through a lot of trauma in their life and they felt that they couldn't love themselves, but they felt that they very much could love, you know, their mum and their siblings.
00:38:01.704 --> 00:38:05.007
And they didn't believe in almost what people say when they sometimes say that.
00:38:07.226 --> 00:38:14.523
I agree that there's a version of love that you can have for other people without loving yourself, but that version is probably codependent.
00:38:17.309 --> 00:38:24.092
very much relying on if that other person is validating you constantly, even the relationship you have with your mother and your father.
00:38:24.313 --> 00:38:32.056
And those are the relationships that probably started off a little bit funky and funny because they typically show us what love is anyway.
00:38:33.518 --> 00:38:42.692
But I truly believe you can really start loving somebody else when you do love yourself, but it's sort of like nothing is linear to me.
00:38:43.192 --> 00:38:51.500
It's kind of like this, you know, infinity sign that's happening that you can love yourself more through your connection with someone else.
00:38:51.980 --> 00:38:53.360
You can also love yourself less.
00:38:54.563 --> 00:39:10.552
But there is a level of self-love that you, in order to be at your highest version of love, that I believe you need to have to fully be able to know what your boundaries are, what your values are, so you can really show up for that other person.
00:39:10.612 --> 00:39:13.956
And that almost that unconditional love where you're not expecting anything back.
00:39:14.418 --> 00:39:15.820
Yeah, exactly.
00:39:17.068 --> 00:39:17.327
Good.
00:39:17.407 --> 00:39:17.708
Nice.
00:39:18.068 --> 00:39:18.628
I like it.
00:39:18.668 --> 00:39:23.652
Well, Ashley, for people that are listening, you are on the phone lines if people want to come through and have some psychic readings.
00:39:23.692 --> 00:39:27.213
Your pin number is seven zero zero six six three.
00:39:27.233 --> 00:39:28.393
Just checking that is yours.
00:39:28.733 --> 00:39:29.614
That is your pin number.
00:39:30.454 --> 00:39:33.317
It sounds about right.
00:39:35.737 --> 00:39:40.661
And I often do tend to be on the phone lines just in case people are thinking I need to speak to this lady after what we've just heard.
00:39:41.463 --> 00:39:48.349
During the day, usually, or a little bit in the early evening UK, Central European time.
00:39:48.869 --> 00:39:49.349
Perfect.
00:39:49.710 --> 00:39:51.592
Ashley, it's been a pleasure speaking to you today.
00:39:51.632 --> 00:39:52.753
Thank you so much.
00:39:53.333 --> 00:39:55.614
Good luck with everything, all the phone calls and all the other work.
00:39:55.715 --> 00:39:58.817
And we look forward to catching up with you at some point in the year.
00:39:58.938 --> 00:39:59.978
Thank you very much, Ashley.
00:40:01.239 --> 00:40:01.579
Thank you.
00:40:01.699 --> 00:40:02.000
Bye.
00:40:02.019 --> 00:40:02.420
Bye.
00:00:08.150 --> 00:00:19.940
Hello everybody and welcome to Ask the Answers podcast with myself Adele Cobain and on today's show we are joined by the lovely Ashley that's one of our psychics on Ask the Answers phone line.
00:00:20.221 --> 00:00:21.542
Hello Ashley, how are you?
00:00:22.262 --> 00:00:23.181
Good thanks, how are you?
00:00:23.603 --> 00:00:25.324
Very well, thank you very much.
00:00:25.785 --> 00:00:35.493
So for people that don't know much about you Ashley, before we go into your topic today of what you're passionate about, let's have a little reminder of the ways that you work and how long you've been a psychic for.
00:00:36.612 --> 00:00:43.587
Yeah, so I've been a psychic working for other people for ten years, but a psychic all my life.
00:00:43.847 --> 00:00:45.310
I've always been quite intuitive.
00:00:45.469 --> 00:00:51.923
I basically get someone that needs support on any aspect of their life.
00:00:52.923 --> 00:00:54.344
They can tell me whatever they want.
00:00:55.106 --> 00:01:06.530
I tend to like working in a specific area or a specific topic because I feel like when people come to me, they want a specific guidance, but they might say, oh, general, but you want specific guidance.
00:01:06.569 --> 00:01:11.251
So I tend to kind of ask like generally what's going on.
00:01:11.492 --> 00:01:17.754
And then I ask source, connect through my crown and give them the details.
00:01:18.956 --> 00:01:19.578
Perfect.
00:01:19.617 --> 00:01:25.194
And is it something that you went into later on in life or have you done this all your life since you can remember?
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I went into it pretty late in life.
00:01:28.409 --> 00:01:33.489
I had like sort of a spiritual crisis where everything kind of tumbled down.
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And then around the age of twenty six, I was really exploring my psychic abilities, which is ten years ago.
00:01:42.513 --> 00:01:51.495
So I was really exploring my psychic abilities and I started working for myself and understanding my own situation and then helping other people at the same time.
00:01:51.614 --> 00:01:53.096
Perfect.
00:01:53.176 --> 00:01:55.397
And what do you believe is your purpose as a psychic now?
00:01:56.808 --> 00:02:09.752
I think my purpose is to help people to understand a situation and then heal from that situation to give practical thorough advice so that they can sort of navigate it rather than just kind of sit in it.
00:02:10.032 --> 00:02:17.235
I'm very solution driven, so I want to help people reach the solutions rather than stay in the energies.
00:02:17.336 --> 00:02:17.515
Yeah.
00:02:17.967 --> 00:02:29.804
which is perfect for today's topic when we do get stuck in a situation and we want you to know what's the best approach to take because today your topic is looking at love, looking at the purpose in love and sacred connection.
00:02:29.842 --> 00:02:33.307
So tell us a little bit about why you wanted to have a little chat about this today.
00:02:34.525 --> 00:02:36.126
I think love is super important.
00:02:36.604 --> 00:02:54.932
I'm going through my own individual love journey for myself and understanding what I overall want in a partner, but mainly who I am as a being and how to show up in love as a being rather than expecting the external to validate me.
00:02:55.174 --> 00:02:58.974
I'm trying to validate me to match with that aligned partner.
00:03:00.294 --> 00:03:01.075
And I love love.
00:03:01.257 --> 00:03:01.917
I'm a lover girl.
00:03:02.197 --> 00:03:04.758
So I really like talking about it.
00:03:04.937 --> 00:03:13.901
And I don't know if I have a controversial view of it, but I typically am not the psychic that believes in twin flames.
00:03:13.941 --> 00:03:30.907
I do believe in soulmates because I think it provides toxicity in love, like in people typically running after that sort of toxic, fiery emotion instead of like aligning to what makes sense for you and where you feel safe.
00:03:31.389 --> 00:03:35.931
So I guess I want to kind of change the narrative, maybe.
00:03:36.913 --> 00:03:37.771
Yeah, no, I get that.
00:03:38.111 --> 00:03:38.894
And it's funny, isn't it?
00:03:38.932 --> 00:03:43.014
Because, you know, we often don't realize how much we do change in relationships.
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Like, you know, I don't change.
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I'm exactly how I was when they met me.
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But, you know, sometimes until you get to that point where you're very much aware of yourself, I know when I look back on my relationships, I definitely changed in relationships.
00:03:55.717 --> 00:04:03.882
So I mean, from being this real independent, go-getting person to then not wanting to go out and staying at home, I wanted to please the man.
00:04:04.200 --> 00:04:05.163
But that's not who they met.
00:04:05.181 --> 00:04:08.145
They met that person that was outgoing and going for it.
00:04:08.163 --> 00:04:10.347
But then they wanted something different.
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And then I acted in a different way.
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And then suddenly long, well, not even long term with those relationships last about three or six months because suddenly it's like, actually, this is not working because it's not who I am.
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And you don't always notice the change until you look back on it.
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Exactly.
00:04:26.588 --> 00:04:26.987
Yeah.
00:04:27.088 --> 00:04:31.033
I think like everybody changes their relationships for good or for worse.
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Yeah.
00:04:32.192 --> 00:04:35.814
And yeah, hindsight is really twenty twenty.
00:04:35.875 --> 00:04:39.559
Especially when you can.
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It is the right word, but saying that sometimes we do get quite desperate in love, you know, especially when you so desperately want it.
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You sometimes can end up putting up with stuff you wouldn't normally put up with because you so just want to be in love and be in a relationship and have that perfect ending.
00:04:53.401 --> 00:04:53.822
Yeah.
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And I think there's nothing wrong with that, but I think as a society, we're almost taught that our worth and our value really comes from our relationships.
00:05:02.048 --> 00:05:04.672
And so, especially I believe for women.
00:05:05.252 --> 00:05:15.661
And so I think we almost kind of put up with things that we normally wouldn't because, you know, we have this value just by being in the relationship itself.
00:05:15.701 --> 00:05:18.764
So it's like, well, my value has, you know, gone up.
00:05:18.824 --> 00:05:35.572
So why not, put up with this and that and this and that, and then your boundaries are completely broken because you've found your value through that relationship instead of, I believe, found your value probably before through yourself and the connection you have with yourself.
00:05:37.180 --> 00:05:41.463
So what is your role as a psychic then, you know, when it comes to love?
00:05:41.483 --> 00:05:44.403
Because, you know, there's not one set manual for love.
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You know, it can be very complicated.
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You have all different sort of, you know, stages of relationships, different ages of people.
00:05:51.910 --> 00:06:00.074
So, I mean, it can be quite, I don't know, maybe challenging sometimes for you as a psychic or do you find it quite naturally easy to guide somebody in love?
00:06:01.490 --> 00:06:07.836
I think it's quite challenging because I feel like people often come trying to hear what they want to hear.
00:06:09.557 --> 00:06:14.882
They want to hear like this person really cares about them when they probably deep down know the answers.
00:06:15.884 --> 00:06:17.946
I'm just here to confirm them or not.
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And I think I find love readings the most challenging.
00:06:23.550 --> 00:06:25.932
I don't think I'm alone in this as a psychic either.
00:06:26.012 --> 00:06:30.468
I was reading on threads that Some people are like, I'm never going to do a love reading again.
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I don't feel that way.
00:06:32.709 --> 00:06:41.776
But I can understand it because it's like people really get triggered if you're not saying, yeah, this person loves you and cares about you.
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And also it's complicated because a lot of times I can see like this person does love and care about you, but they just like on a human level cannot act in a way that is loving and caring because of their own things that are going on behind them.
00:06:55.427 --> 00:06:56.987
in their own conscious and subconscious.
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And that's really hard to reiterate to somebody when they're like, but I know they do love me.
00:07:02.490 --> 00:07:08.271
You're correct, but that doesn't change how they're probably acting or going to act in the future.
00:07:09.204 --> 00:07:11.605
Yeah, and I suppose that's what, you know, having a reading is about.
00:07:11.745 --> 00:07:14.545
Is it worth holding on to that relationship?
00:07:14.564 --> 00:07:15.646
Because sometimes it could be.
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Maybe that person seems to sort out their own, you know, situation or their own issues or, you know, maybe they've got lots going on, whether it's their family or their career and right now isn't the right time, but that doesn't mean to say that relationship's not going to work.
00:07:26.788 --> 00:07:37.430
But then for other people, it might be the fact that you've given that, you know, too much time now and actually they're not going to change and, you know, you're not their priority and sometimes people need to hear that.
00:07:38.672 --> 00:07:41.136
Yeah, I think sometimes people need to hear that.
00:07:41.254 --> 00:07:55.776
I think what I've noticed really is that people like hearing the fact that they are cared about, you know, that this person does really care about them and giving them that, not to say that I'm giving them that because that's what they want to hear, but if I'm seeing that.
00:07:56.737 --> 00:08:03.461
reiterating the unconscious and subconscious things that are going on, people do wanna hear that because they don't see it.
00:08:03.482 --> 00:08:07.444
They're just seeing the action and maybe the action does not meet their heart.
00:08:08.125 --> 00:08:13.168
But if I can tap into the unconscious and subconscious for them to say like, hey, this isn't your fault.
00:08:13.649 --> 00:08:16.771
It's got more to do with them than it does to do with you.
00:08:16.891 --> 00:08:21.274
I think that has really helped people to be like, okay, it's not me.
00:08:21.355 --> 00:08:22.336
I didn't do anything wrong.
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Yes, this person's got stuff.
00:08:24.216 --> 00:08:28.057
OK, I can move on or I can take this sort of path.
00:08:28.596 --> 00:08:28.797
Yeah.
00:08:29.096 --> 00:08:34.378
And sometimes I realize maybe even those relationships that don't take it personally, sometimes it's got nothing to do with you.
00:08:34.418 --> 00:08:37.899
Yes, there's always things that we can work on ourselves and, you know, be better at.
00:08:38.057 --> 00:08:43.080
But sometimes I actually don't take it personally, but it's just it's not the right relationship for them at the moment.
00:08:43.100 --> 00:08:45.240
Right.
00:08:45.279 --> 00:08:45.360
Yeah.
00:08:45.379 --> 00:08:46.041
I mean, what do you think?
00:08:46.221 --> 00:08:50.081
I mean, for you, what would be the first steps of finding the right partner?
00:08:50.380 --> 00:08:52.461
You know, do you have any tips that you can give people that are listening?
00:08:53.792 --> 00:08:55.312
Yeah, I think look within.
00:08:56.393 --> 00:09:04.475
I know it's cliche, but if you want to attract the right partners, what energy are you omitting out?
00:09:05.413 --> 00:09:20.408
If you're desperate and you're, I need to find a partner, you might find a partner, but it might not be the right one because you don't know You know, you don't know your own standards.
00:09:20.427 --> 00:09:21.869
You don't know where you are at.
00:09:22.210 --> 00:09:24.633
You just really want to find love.
00:09:25.734 --> 00:09:29.298
And also I would say start making a list.
00:09:29.356 --> 00:09:31.841
You know, people are like, oh, don't make a list and stuff like that.
00:09:32.019 --> 00:09:33.143
I think it's a good idea.
00:09:33.763 --> 00:09:37.648
I would not be in the beginning if you're just starting out to look for love.
00:09:38.019 --> 00:09:45.024
be so prescriptive because you might find it in meeting a particular person and you're like, Oh, I like this, but I don't like this.
00:09:45.846 --> 00:10:03.538
Um, so, but a general list of what that person looks like, what, who that person is, personality traits, um, even the external, like whether that person can afford you, you know, I, you know, you don't want to think about those things, but those things are real and human.
00:10:04.541 --> 00:10:17.187
Um, and even be curious, you know, date, different people, people that you might not normally date, or just be curious when you go into a date to just be like, okay, I'm going to find out.
00:10:17.787 --> 00:10:26.913
I feel like, and I do this, I feel like on the first date, I'm very much like, I know, because I am a psychic, I know very quickly, like, I like this person.
00:10:26.932 --> 00:10:27.873
I don't like this person.
00:10:28.312 --> 00:10:40.384
Um, But then the curiosity just drops and I haven't really gotten to know this person and their human self versus their higher self might be acting extremely different.
00:10:40.966 --> 00:10:48.067
So yeah, I would say those top three things is probably the best way to approach love.
00:10:49.249 --> 00:10:51.210
What about, I mean, it's in the media at the moment.
00:10:51.230 --> 00:11:01.437
I don't know if you've seen or follow much about the news, but Katie Price has got engaged after a week of a romance with a multimillionaire guy in Dubai.
00:11:01.495 --> 00:11:02.476
And the family all shocked.
00:11:02.498 --> 00:11:03.418
They didn't see it coming.
00:11:03.479 --> 00:11:04.778
After a week, she's engaged.
00:11:07.980 --> 00:11:09.562
Do you think you can know someone well enough in a week?
00:11:11.057 --> 00:11:15.058
No.
00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:19.822
I think you can definitely feel an attachment to somebody.
00:11:20.542 --> 00:11:25.764
I've been in that sort of situation where I've definitely felt like, oh, I really like this person.
00:11:25.783 --> 00:11:27.384
This person is it.
00:11:28.144 --> 00:11:33.508
But I would still say let the human self develop into the relationship to get to know them.
00:11:33.548 --> 00:11:38.610
Because again, like I said, the higher self and the human self operate on two different frequencies.
00:11:38.990 --> 00:12:26.210
And you might see these excellent qualities in the higher self and the two higher selves are meeting in the astral plane but then the human self is not meeting the standards in which the higher self wants to go to at that time and time really does tell you what who that person is so i don't know um she'll be fine i'm sure but like um i get that i i've been you know it's like you know sometimes you have such a strong bond with somebody that you've just met you think wow it'll be explosive and that infatuation they're like yeah i really fancy them and you know and and you think they're definitely the one but you know again um over time or in a short period of time, it starts to fizzle out sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes that fizzles out and you think, oh, actually, what did I see in that person?
00:12:26.230 --> 00:12:28.389
I really don't like them at all.
00:12:28.408 --> 00:12:31.490
And it's hoping to be so extreme to then have so like, don't come near me.
00:12:31.509 --> 00:12:34.750
Yeah, it's crazy.
00:12:34.772 --> 00:12:42.095
Like even, you know, recently an ex got back in touch with me and I was just like, what did I see in that person?
00:12:42.115 --> 00:12:45.056
But you're also a different person at the time that you meet that person.
00:12:45.076 --> 00:12:45.416
Exactly.
00:12:45.913 --> 00:12:47.913
I don't know, the week is extreme.
00:12:47.932 --> 00:12:59.658
I suppose there's some people that, you know, they just literally, you know, life's too short and just want to experience, you know, just those, yeah, just...
00:13:00.879 --> 00:13:24.201
i don't even know what the right word would be but you know just going with it and just letting things happen and seeing you know where it could lead i suppose and just jumping in the deep end especially when you have been in relationships or been married and you had children you might have that attitude like oh well you know i've been there done that you know if it works it works if it doesn't it doesn't type of attitude about the moment i'm enjoying it i'm living in the present I think that's great for a relationship.
00:13:24.260 --> 00:13:29.125
I think it's great to go into it like, well, you know, I've done all the experiences.
00:13:29.264 --> 00:13:31.067
I just want to have fun and enjoy life.
00:13:31.628 --> 00:13:36.052
But to get married, it seems a bit formalized to do that.
00:13:37.475 --> 00:13:37.916
Yeah.
00:13:38.076 --> 00:13:42.960
And that's when you've got to look at your values when you're in a relationship, because some people don't see marriage as a big thing.
00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:44.519
You know, they take it with a pinch of salt.
00:13:44.600 --> 00:13:46.221
I'll get married, but I get divorced next week.
00:13:46.260 --> 00:13:47.923
So, you know, it's no big deal.
00:13:47.961 --> 00:13:50.465
But for other people, you know, it's a massive commitment.
00:13:50.565 --> 00:13:52.566
And so, you know, bless my friends.
00:13:52.806 --> 00:13:55.528
We got together at the same time with our partners.
00:13:56.586 --> 00:14:03.711
We've been together with our partners for, oh God, broke me on the spot now, but right about twelve years.
00:14:03.769 --> 00:14:06.032
And we got married after like two years of being together.
00:14:06.370 --> 00:14:08.373
And she literally got married last year.
00:14:08.432 --> 00:14:11.094
That has been a long engagement.
00:14:11.452 --> 00:14:13.653
Unfortunately, he didn't feel he wanted to commit.
00:14:13.695 --> 00:14:16.534
He didn't see it as a big deal, but she's had children with him.
00:14:16.576 --> 00:14:17.956
She wanted that final commitment.
00:14:18.014 --> 00:14:19.037
It meant a lot to her.
00:14:19.437 --> 00:14:29.489
And again, in relationships, you know, that's what you have to look at sometimes is that people's beliefs and morals and, you know, what they both want can sometimes be a bit of a challenge and compromise.
00:14:29.649 --> 00:14:31.812
And, you know, well, it's not important to me.
00:14:31.892 --> 00:14:36.057
Well, it is important to me, you know, and trying to match that up and to make it work.
00:14:37.029 --> 00:14:39.273
Yeah, I think values is so important.
00:14:39.874 --> 00:14:43.596
I didn't really think about values until very recently.
00:14:45.259 --> 00:14:51.403
And I think I asked an ex-boyfriend what his values are and he didn't have any, which probably should have been a right one.
00:14:53.086 --> 00:15:14.777
But I think that's another thing of time that can kind of get that understanding where maybe you don't have set of values, but you live by a certain code of conduct and you can kind of witness whether that person is living by that code, but without having time, you don't really see if they will.
00:15:16.177 --> 00:15:17.158
Yeah, absolutely.
00:15:17.859 --> 00:15:21.662
And what sort of, you know, relationship questions have you had recently on the phone lines?
00:15:21.701 --> 00:15:23.243
What's been coming through, you know, this year?
00:15:23.403 --> 00:15:25.124
What sort of has been the trend lately?
00:15:27.072 --> 00:15:32.216
I don't know if there's a trend, but it's like, how does this person feel about me?
00:15:32.738 --> 00:15:34.599
I don't really understand what they're doing.
00:15:34.677 --> 00:15:39.302
Like, it seems like they want this, they want this type of relationship, but they're doing this type of thing.
00:15:40.764 --> 00:15:52.812
It does seem like, again, people are not understanding, like they get this feeling from them that people like them, that the person that they like likes them, but they're just not operating in a way that shows that.
00:15:53.450 --> 00:15:54.870
Yeah.
00:15:54.951 --> 00:15:58.153
And that commitment is a big thing because people do want to keep their free.
00:15:58.211 --> 00:16:00.793
A lot of people want to keep that freedom, you know, commitment.
00:16:00.815 --> 00:16:03.216
They might seem as quite scary that that freedom is going to go.
00:16:03.254 --> 00:16:05.538
But that doesn't mean that has to go in a relationship.
00:16:05.817 --> 00:16:11.461
You know, commitment doesn't mean that you're trapped and you can't live your life and, you know, spread your wings.
00:16:11.620 --> 00:16:21.008
And maybe that has happened in maybe previous relationships where people have felt like that and scared of going back into another one for that to happen where, you know, they lose a bit of themselves.
00:16:22.750 --> 00:16:23.572
I do think so.
00:16:23.672 --> 00:16:30.514
I also think there's something around what commitment looks like, maybe.
00:16:30.897 --> 00:16:35.099
And maybe commitment looks like, yeah, we're just spending our time together and we're in the present.
00:16:35.139 --> 00:16:37.341
And when we come together, we're committed.
00:16:37.620 --> 00:16:40.248
But when we leave, not so much.
00:16:40.488 --> 00:16:44.729
And I think it goes back to what you're saying about the alignment of values.
00:16:45.509 --> 00:16:52.692
Maybe commitment looks one way for some people and looks another way for another person.
00:16:52.730 --> 00:17:00.374
And I think there's a whole culture of situationship, and that's not really aligning for certain people.
00:17:00.514 --> 00:17:00.894
Yeah.
00:17:01.869 --> 00:17:05.750
And women can change their minds quite often as well.
00:17:05.851 --> 00:17:07.932
What you think you want might not be what you want.
00:17:08.010 --> 00:17:18.796
And I remember me and my husband, before we had children and before we got married, when we were sort of first dating, I remember being in a car and we were saying our sort of goodbyes.
00:17:19.175 --> 00:17:22.916
And I remember saying, you know, what do you want, you know, in the next sort of few years?
00:17:22.978 --> 00:17:24.397
And he was saying what he wanted about that.
00:17:24.439 --> 00:17:29.101
And I said, you know, I'd love to have what I had as a child, where I had that security and that support and everything.
00:17:29.381 --> 00:17:35.405
you know, you know, that my partner, my husband will be able to provide when I'm off having the children and stuff like that.
00:17:35.967 --> 00:17:39.450
And he said, I promise you, in the next four years, I'll be able to do that for you.
00:17:39.509 --> 00:17:51.461
And he kept his word, you know, he grafted, he went from, you know, a job from very low money had to start all over again, build his way up to the point where he could support me and me having my first child and taking some time off work.
00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:56.044
And that was what I always wanted until it happened.
00:17:56.384 --> 00:17:59.086
And then I was like, actually, I want to go back to work now.
00:17:59.405 --> 00:18:01.847
It's been three to six months and I just need a break.
00:18:02.147 --> 00:18:03.809
I just need my own time.
00:18:04.289 --> 00:18:06.192
And then that was a little bit of a conflict.
00:18:06.230 --> 00:18:09.075
It was a bit like, well, I'm working hard to provide, to support you.
00:18:09.134 --> 00:18:11.414
And now you want to go back to work.
00:18:11.737 --> 00:18:20.604
So sometimes it's okay to change your mind, but sometimes what you think you want is maybe not always what you want when it actually comes to fruition.
00:18:21.490 --> 00:18:22.550
Yeah, I would totally agree.
00:18:22.632 --> 00:18:30.276
And I would say like, everybody, you know, does it like, like, I don't know, I feel like everyone is changing their mind constantly.
00:18:30.434 --> 00:18:38.181
And it's due to circumstances in the present moment, you know, like, when I was younger, I wanted, you know, a princess dress and a big wedding.
00:18:38.221 --> 00:18:46.192
And then, you know, as an older person, seeing that pound wedding is not conducive to what I want.
00:18:46.332 --> 00:18:49.074
Like, I'd rather have a house and a nice holiday.
00:18:49.094 --> 00:18:55.739
So, like, I think it's just a matter of, like, so many people are changing their mind in relationships, too.
00:18:55.778 --> 00:19:00.981
Like, I feel like one moment, you know, I've dated somebody and they've been really into me.
00:19:01.021 --> 00:19:03.765
The next moment, they're completely off me.
00:19:03.923 --> 00:19:06.185
And it could be because somebody else came into their life.
00:19:06.207 --> 00:19:07.807
It could be their circumstances.
00:19:07.826 --> 00:19:08.508
It could be their work.
00:19:08.627 --> 00:19:12.271
It's just, like, That's another thing with relationships and being curious.
00:19:12.333 --> 00:19:19.180
I think if you're coming in curious, then you're not coming in with these hard, fast line rules.
00:19:19.710 --> 00:19:23.549
where someone else has to follow them, which is really hard for somebody else to do.
00:19:23.569 --> 00:19:24.971
And it's really hard for you to do.
00:19:25.589 --> 00:19:28.412
And you can kind of grow in this alignment together.
00:19:28.432 --> 00:19:30.172
And that's like the perfect relationship.
00:19:30.372 --> 00:19:31.471
Yeah.
00:19:31.592 --> 00:19:40.074
And it can be sad and very frustrating when you do get a bit blindsided, where someone is very good with their words and promise you this and promises that, and you're the best.
00:19:40.114 --> 00:19:42.212
And, oh, you know, I can't believe our connection.
00:19:42.252 --> 00:19:44.252
And then, like I said, next week, they're ghosting you.
00:19:44.272 --> 00:19:45.015
They're not speaking to you.
00:19:45.035 --> 00:19:45.115
Yeah.
00:19:48.115 --> 00:20:12.721
what's happened yeah and that's I think the hardest and I think a lot of people are dealing with that as well too is like this person was super into me and then next minute they're not you know they wait till the guards come down you open up and then like yeah and it's like And that's another thing that I'm trying to help people through is like, it's not you, it's them.
00:20:12.862 --> 00:20:13.583
Absolutely.
00:20:13.884 --> 00:20:14.084
Yeah.
00:20:14.285 --> 00:20:16.646
You wanted to talk about sort of sacred connections.
00:20:16.887 --> 00:20:17.951
What do you mean by that?
00:20:19.230 --> 00:20:24.015
I guess my idea of a sacred connection is a connection that can meet you exactly where you are.
00:20:24.316 --> 00:20:27.656
You know, you don't have to be doing anything.
00:20:27.738 --> 00:20:36.242
I think a lot of times in, you know, we're constantly having to do for the other and it's like, yes, that's a part of it.
00:20:36.522 --> 00:20:38.586
You know, you can't just show up and be like, okay, I'm here.
00:20:38.846 --> 00:20:39.144
Nothing.
00:20:40.685 --> 00:20:45.769
But I think the sacred connection is when you're like, you are yourself, they are themselves.
00:20:46.250 --> 00:20:47.352
You both can come together.
00:20:47.894 --> 00:21:00.124
And I kind of want to move this away from twin flames because a lot of people talk about twin flames being the sacred connection that we're opposites, we're opposites in astrology, we're opposites and we're fighting and that's supposed to create growth.
00:21:00.683 --> 00:21:02.944
And yes and no.
00:21:04.067 --> 00:21:08.690
Of course, polarities do create growth and do catalyze change.
00:21:09.111 --> 00:21:15.153
But I don't necessarily believe that you cannot be yourself and that person can't be themselves.
00:21:15.795 --> 00:21:20.519
And you can't catalyze change, not just through conflict, but also through joy.
00:21:21.941 --> 00:21:25.585
And I think a lot of times we think of, oh, the conflict is what's going to catalyze.
00:21:25.805 --> 00:21:42.026
Joy can also catalyze you being loved just as yourself can make you expand, your heart expands, can make you expand, more innovative, more creative, just a better person, a better partner, a better friend in your life and better at work as well.
00:21:42.144 --> 00:21:48.528
So I think that should be the new narrative of a sacred connection.
00:21:48.567 --> 00:21:49.728
Yeah, no, absolutely.
00:21:50.468 --> 00:21:59.933
When you're speaking to people on the phone lines and, you know, They have been in toxic relationships and they're wanting to change that.
00:22:00.075 --> 00:22:12.983
You know, it can take a lot of work when you've had years of either abuse or a controlling relationship, trying to break free from that and see what is... Because that becomes the norm, you know, for a lot of people.
00:22:13.005 --> 00:22:16.886
That becomes the norm that someone putting you down or talking not nice to you or...
00:22:17.268 --> 00:22:18.127
whatever it might be.
00:22:18.269 --> 00:22:20.631
So trying to almost reprogram yourself.
00:22:20.951 --> 00:22:28.355
I mean, is that some of the work that you could do on the phone lines for people that are trying to, you know, get out of that and not have those triggers?
00:22:29.155 --> 00:22:29.718
Yes.
00:22:30.576 --> 00:22:36.981
The reason why I say that is because I don't think a lot of people want to.
00:22:37.604 --> 00:22:46.355
And that's sort of the challenge that I'm seeing is people And maybe it's like you said, people are so used to it that they don't know another way.
00:22:46.395 --> 00:22:47.738
There's no potential.
00:22:47.836 --> 00:22:51.057
And actually to change it would be quite difficult and hard.
00:22:51.877 --> 00:22:53.637
And it can be a lonely journey.
00:22:55.680 --> 00:23:26.863
So in the, you know, twenty minutes that I'm talking to them, it's like I am encouraging, but sometimes to be frank nobody wants to hear that because it's like yeah but I want this person and it's like so yes I do try to say yeah but this person is in this position right now that doesn't mean that they that you're a bad person that doesn't mean that you're not worthy of a connection that you deserve but this person is just there and some people are open to hearing it I'd I think most people are not because they are very stuck.
00:23:27.143 --> 00:23:31.964
But I try to say, step away from this situation.
00:23:32.105 --> 00:23:32.846
It's not you.
00:23:32.884 --> 00:23:33.445
It's them.
00:23:35.386 --> 00:23:37.409
And then let's move in a different direction.
00:23:37.647 --> 00:23:41.310
What do you need at this period of time to get over this person?
00:23:41.612 --> 00:23:44.031
What do you need at this period of time to move through the grief?
00:23:44.173 --> 00:23:45.212
Because there will be grief.
00:23:46.355 --> 00:23:48.056
It is going to be hard either way.
00:23:48.115 --> 00:23:49.415
It's going to be hard in this connection.
00:23:50.320 --> 00:24:21.346
consistently putting up with someone who is not loving you the way that you deserve it's also going to be hard to grieve sometimes you just have to take the steps of grieving yeah there was something that i um saw on one of my friends posts about how sometimes people like being being like suffering they almost they get to that point where it's I can't remember what the saying was, but it was basically the fact that they enjoyed almost suffering.
00:24:21.365 --> 00:24:22.548
It gave them something to talk about.
00:24:22.606 --> 00:24:27.913
And if they didn't have that, if they didn't have anything to moan about or groan about, they wouldn't have anything, almost.
00:24:28.291 --> 00:24:29.512
They had that sort of attitude.
00:24:29.732 --> 00:24:31.516
Did you ever come across anything like that?
00:24:32.287 --> 00:24:32.685
Yes.
00:24:33.886 --> 00:24:43.174
When I was doing a lot of healing work on myself, there is something called like the victim energy where people enjoy being a victim.
00:24:43.434 --> 00:24:44.717
And I do.
00:24:45.596 --> 00:24:46.478
I don't want to be morose.
00:24:46.557 --> 00:24:52.563
I think a lot of people have learned that behavior because it's easier and it's knowledgeable.
00:24:52.643 --> 00:24:54.943
Like, you know what you're getting into.
00:24:55.065 --> 00:24:56.766
I know I'm getting into this toxic relationship.
00:24:56.806 --> 00:24:57.645
I've done it before.
00:24:57.826 --> 00:24:58.548
I can do it again.
00:24:59.231 --> 00:25:22.256
um versus what it would mean to stop the suffering loop it would be hard work because i don't know what's on the other side of that and i used to look at people and judge people and be like why do you want to be a victim like as someone who used to be a victim pulled themselves away from that it is very challenging i must admit but after a while it does get easier.
00:25:22.296 --> 00:25:28.499
Whereas if you're still continuing down that consistent road of being a victim, it's never gonna change.
00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:42.041
So I have, so it's almost like being the, I don't know what it's called, perpetrator of your own life, where you're taking control and you're taking your power back, but that can look very scary when you've been powerless all your life.
00:25:42.343 --> 00:25:59.006
So I'm trying to come, even as I approach like my work, I'm trying to come from more of a empathetic point of view to help people to even put a little tiny blip in their mind to be like, you are going down the same road and it will be the same road.
00:25:59.046 --> 00:26:06.769
It's like, you know, I think Albert Einstein said, if you keep, you know, doing the same thing and expecting a different result, it's insanity.
00:26:07.390 --> 00:26:16.692
That's what you're going to get versus, you know, maybe you don't know what's at the end of that other road, but I can quite honestly tell you it's going to be something different.
00:26:17.173 --> 00:26:18.055
Yeah.
00:26:18.115 --> 00:26:18.654
It's funny, isn't it?
00:26:18.674 --> 00:26:21.817
Because that saying as well, like, choose your battles.
00:26:22.117 --> 00:26:29.243
You know, sometimes, not just in love, but in your everyday life, you think, oh, it's not even worth it, just I'll just let that go for now.
00:26:29.285 --> 00:26:33.086
When actually, you would probably normally go, no, actually, that's not right, or I don't like that.
00:26:33.367 --> 00:26:34.690
But sometimes you think, actually, it's not worth it.
00:26:34.710 --> 00:26:39.134
It's not worth that big whole argument over it, you know, just so I can get my point across.
00:26:39.153 --> 00:26:39.314
Yeah.
00:26:39.492 --> 00:26:46.855
So, so many times we do in life, brushings under the carpet that normally we'd like to speak out about or say, actually, I don't, you don't want the hassle of it all.
00:26:46.875 --> 00:27:04.463
You know, even people, when we see, you know, people in the news, you know, who've either been going down a bit of a rabbit hole here, but, you know, when you see people getting attacked or stuff like that and bystanders don't get involved or a car breaks down, how many times have you gone past a car that's broken down and your head thinking, oh, should I stop and ask for help?
00:27:04.483 --> 00:27:06.586
Oh, I can't because I've got to pick up the kids up in about ten minutes.
00:27:06.625 --> 00:27:07.885
I haven't got time to do that.
00:27:08.086 --> 00:27:24.981
know and things like that you just think oh gosh you know so many times you think i haven't got time i haven't got time to be selfish you know but you don't want to bother with the hassle you can't be dealing with it so let's just brush that one under the carpet because it's easier to do that than it is to actually stop and pay attention Yeah, that's true.
00:27:25.643 --> 00:27:30.727
But I would say with one's own personal journey, it's like you always have time for it.
00:27:30.747 --> 00:27:32.708
You have time to be in that toxic relationship.
00:27:32.728 --> 00:27:39.913
You have time to get out of it and choose something new, you know, because it's just going to continue and you're just going to suffer.
00:27:39.932 --> 00:27:47.478
And then you end up, you know, boring everybody else in your life, complaining about the same thing, and then you're not doing anything about it.
00:27:47.698 --> 00:27:56.445
And some people can live with a level of like quiet misery, I would say, and continue down that same road.
00:27:58.166 --> 00:27:59.209
I personally can't.
00:27:59.788 --> 00:28:05.731
I also believe that when you get so uncomfortable and everybody has their breaking point, it just depends on what yours is.
00:28:06.814 --> 00:28:10.355
When you get so uncomfortable with the status quo, you will want to change.
00:28:10.596 --> 00:28:16.019
And a lot of times in that sort of journey, you kind of, it's called a hero's journey.
00:28:16.420 --> 00:28:20.285
In that sort of journey, you kind of like, ah, no, I don't really want to change.
00:28:20.305 --> 00:28:21.605
And you go back, you go back, go back.
00:28:21.726 --> 00:28:30.315
And I hope people can understand that in love and in loving yourself, because I think that's part of the sacred relationship.
00:28:32.848 --> 00:28:35.392
It doesn't, don't fault yourself for going back.
00:28:35.692 --> 00:28:37.953
Don't fault yourself for going back to that toxic relationship.
00:28:37.973 --> 00:28:39.957
Don't fault yourself for going back to that victim.
00:28:40.037 --> 00:28:43.338
It's going to take a lot for you to get to the other side.
00:28:43.578 --> 00:28:51.185
And a lot of times you're going to repeat cycles and cycles, but there will be a point where you hit a brick wall and say, you know what?
00:28:51.207 --> 00:28:52.528
Can't do this anymore.
00:28:52.567 --> 00:28:53.367
Got to do something else.
00:28:54.679 --> 00:29:03.226
And do people call, you know, people are listening by thinking, you know, I just want to have a chat about this and, you know, have a reading or just get some guidance on what I'm going through.
00:29:03.546 --> 00:29:10.471
You know, can just one reading make a difference or does somebody need to have quite a few readings, you know, to help them through a period like that?
00:29:12.231 --> 00:29:15.615
I would say quite a few readings because energy changes.
00:29:17.615 --> 00:29:21.700
One reading can click in your head like, hey, I don't want to do this anymore.
00:29:22.038 --> 00:29:30.316
But to get help to kind of push through, The journey of getting away from that, probably you would want quite a few more readings.
00:29:31.317 --> 00:29:33.182
But yeah, one reading can spark change.
00:29:35.969 --> 00:29:37.409
That's good to know.
00:29:37.429 --> 00:29:39.170
The power, the power of a psychic reader.
00:29:40.151 --> 00:29:45.231
And we're talking about relationships, toxic relationships, sacred relationships, you know, soul connections.
00:29:45.593 --> 00:29:48.114
What about, you know, people that are in relationships?
00:29:48.134 --> 00:29:50.015
They've been in relationships for a long, long time.
00:29:51.454 --> 00:29:55.458
And just keeping that spark alive and, you know, keeping that energy flowing.
00:29:55.616 --> 00:31:04.166
um dare i say i'm coming to that age of being perimenopausal and you know your emotions and your hormones and you know they even say things like you know you've been with this person you love and then suddenly you can't even stand their smell you can't you don't want to be touched or you know you you just don't really snappy and they irritate you and things like that and you think i know i'm being silly i know i'm overthinking things but you can't you can't help your hormones and how you're feeling and sometimes that other half also doesn't understand because they're not a woman you know and making sure that you can keep that connection going and it not drift yeah i think being in relationships is challenging because you are growing at different moments in time and space i would say coming together having a check-in regularly just being like you know how are you feeling how are you feeling is a good way to connect to the other person um i also think as women we really do not talk about the need for the divine masculine to step up and like create that safe space to say, you know, well, it's not about me right now.
00:31:04.307 --> 00:31:05.127
It's about you.
00:31:05.269 --> 00:31:06.429
You're going through a lot.
00:31:06.929 --> 00:31:08.108
I don't have my hormones.
00:31:08.230 --> 00:31:08.971
They have hormones.
00:31:08.990 --> 00:31:12.270
They go through their own stuff, but like, it's not at the same level.
00:31:13.573 --> 00:31:18.153
I actually just saw this movie called babes with Alana Glazer and Michelle Buteau.
00:31:18.693 --> 00:31:20.375
And they were talking about pregnancy.
00:31:20.615 --> 00:31:24.298
And one of the characters was just like, you know, I'm tired.
00:31:24.356 --> 00:31:28.250
And she was going through like, like postpartum essentially.
00:31:28.769 --> 00:31:32.713
And her partner was just like, just allowed her to talk and speak and be.
00:31:33.375 --> 00:31:41.363
And I would say, I don't talk to many men, but I have talked to some men who do want to step into this role.
00:31:41.383 --> 00:31:49.029
So I found that fascinating of just letting, you know, your partner just be and not judge them and not come from a place of judgment.
00:31:49.809 --> 00:32:24.250
And, and, you know maybe it's a matter of kind of understanding who they are as people like what's going on in the unconscious what's going on in the subconscious as well that's where I can come in as like this outer layer that's happening or the shadow that's happening because that can inform why someone is acting the way that they are acting and it most of the time has nothing to do with you or their partner it has to do with them and what they're going through And just sort of coming from that place of understanding can help, you know, in these hard and difficult moments, understand the other person.
00:32:24.269 --> 00:32:24.810
Definitely.
00:32:25.132 --> 00:32:30.096
And I think if you have that space, you can think a little bit clearer and be a bit more aware.
00:32:30.115 --> 00:32:39.804
But I think if people are, you know, in that rat race of work and here, there and everywhere, and you're both tired, you're both snappy, it becomes a bit of a battle of who's done this and who's done that.
00:32:39.824 --> 00:32:41.766
Well, I've had a more tiring day than you and did a little...
00:32:42.404 --> 00:32:44.928
And it's trying to step away from reacting like that.
00:32:44.948 --> 00:32:51.833
And I know that, you know, you also, sometimes with the gentleman, you don't want to come across as like you're being a mother.
00:32:52.093 --> 00:32:55.996
You don't want to be like telling them off, telling them what to do.
00:32:56.277 --> 00:33:03.260
So sometimes trying to get your point across can sometimes come across like that, which automatically with lots of guys that put their guards up and they won't listen to you.
00:33:03.540 --> 00:33:08.065
When actually you just want them to listen and say, you know, actually, you know, I'm not feeling great today.
00:33:08.085 --> 00:33:11.146
Or I do just, sometimes you just want them to read your mind and just do things.
00:33:11.228 --> 00:33:11.366
Yeah.
00:33:12.229 --> 00:34:16.427
tell them but unfortunately the majority of time we do have to tell them because they don't get it and they say well just why don't you tell me why don't you say you were tired why don't you ask me to do the washing up I shouldn't have to but you can see I'm passionate about this Ashley I'm not the only one I hear you Adele I hear you Adele i mean my husband's great you know he does step up when needed when i start snapping then he knows i've been pushing the limits but um but generally it would be nice if they we didn't have to tell them but sometimes we do have to just let them know and communicate because you know they're not mind readers yeah and how you communicate i mean like i just went through this recently it's like i realized how i was communicating to somebody was very emotive like i was just like i'm feeling all these things like and you should know it and it's like this person didn't hear me you know um and the only way that they could hear me was you know, like not only, I didn't even step into my logical mind, which I thought like, oh, that's how to communicate to a man.
00:34:16.507 --> 00:34:24.570
No, I literally just was direct and clear and was like, I need specifically this from you.
00:34:24.811 --> 00:34:26.911
He was like, oh, okay, got it.
00:34:26.951 --> 00:34:33.338
You know, like, um, And my energy shifted and I had to kind of simmer down.
00:34:33.398 --> 00:34:37.159
And I think we do communicate differently.
00:34:37.239 --> 00:34:39.840
Men and women do communicate very differently.
00:34:40.001 --> 00:34:44.202
And sometimes it's super frustrating because when I talk to my girlfriends, they know exactly what I'm saying.
00:34:44.503 --> 00:34:47.023
When I'm talking to my guy friends, they have no idea what I'm saying.
00:34:50.105 --> 00:34:58.148
And I think when you do know your partner for a long time, you start to understand how their communication styles are and it gets easier.
00:34:59.349 --> 00:35:03.710
but it's still a challenge because then you are triggered and then they are triggered.
00:35:03.751 --> 00:35:09.753
So it is such like a dance, but having patience, I think will help.
00:35:09.813 --> 00:35:14.414
And then not snapping, you know, not going into, okay, well, this is your fault.
00:35:14.974 --> 00:35:18.456
It's like, well, what can I do to help you hear me?
00:35:18.876 --> 00:35:26.338
And I think hearing to be understood rather hearing to get your point across and to compete is a totally different way of communicating.
00:35:26.699 --> 00:35:26.838
Yeah.
00:35:28.646 --> 00:35:35.351
Oh, it's a complex one when it comes to love, and I'm sure there's going to be people listening.
00:35:35.391 --> 00:35:42.255
The great thing about having a psychic reading, and I've said this before when we've spoken to people, is that, you know, there's not, as I mentioned before, a manual to love.
00:35:42.275 --> 00:35:46.478
There's going to be so many people in all different stages, you know, more than one person involved.
00:35:46.498 --> 00:35:49.081
There could be love triangles, there could be exes, there could be...
00:35:49.481 --> 00:35:52.141
You know, new love on the horizon.
00:35:52.202 --> 00:35:53.222
You could be just dating.
00:35:53.242 --> 00:35:54.603
You could be married for a long time.
00:35:55.063 --> 00:35:59.844
All different, whether you're gay, bisexual, whatever your preference is, you know, on the phone lines.
00:36:00.284 --> 00:36:01.606
It's nonjudgmental.
00:36:01.786 --> 00:36:02.686
It's private.
00:36:02.726 --> 00:36:06.168
Because I think sometimes people think, oh, I'm going to be a bit embarrassed or this could be really awkward.
00:36:06.208 --> 00:36:07.827
But I just need to know these things.
00:36:07.887 --> 00:36:09.188
I need to speak to somebody about it.
00:36:10.545 --> 00:36:44.150
yeah i mean i'm not judging you uh i'm not even really listening from a place of my lower chakras where i'm connecting to how i would feel i just had a call like that i wouldn't go into why i felt like that but i was just like my human self would not be happy right now listening to this person but i was like i'm not listening for my human self i'm listening to give you guidance and that's how i took it yeah um so I hope, and I hope every psychic is like this.
00:36:44.730 --> 00:36:52.893
I know every psychic is not, but I trust that everyone on Ask the Answers is that they're just hearing you to help you.
00:36:52.952 --> 00:36:55.393
They're not hearing to be like, oh, that person did that.
00:36:55.434 --> 00:36:58.235
Let me go talk about this person to another person.
00:36:58.956 --> 00:37:04.340
I hope everyone feels safe and comfortable to come to Psychic to get a reading.
00:37:04.420 --> 00:37:04.958
Absolutely.
00:37:04.958 --> 00:37:07.599
Do you feel you've got everything across that you wanted to to the listeners?
00:37:07.659 --> 00:37:10.742
Is there anything else you want to mention before we wrap it up today?
00:37:12.965 --> 00:37:15.467
Yeah, I mean, I think I've said everything.
00:37:15.507 --> 00:37:17.608
It's like, love yourself, you'll find someone else.
00:37:17.648 --> 00:37:21.510
But also, I do want to say that relationships are super, super important.
00:37:21.831 --> 00:37:25.833
The way you understand how your relationship with yourself is, is in relationship.
00:37:25.873 --> 00:37:28.474
And it can't be an island just because you love yourself.
00:37:30.001 --> 00:37:30.961
everything's hunky dory.
00:37:31.021 --> 00:37:36.704
No, it's relationships are like the, not the battleground, but it does test like, have you been working on yourself?
00:37:36.744 --> 00:37:37.105
Cool.
00:37:37.125 --> 00:37:37.885
Do you love yourself?
00:37:37.945 --> 00:37:38.286
Yes.
00:37:38.726 --> 00:37:40.806
You know, like it is that for you.
00:37:40.847 --> 00:37:42.987
So I do believe both are super important.
00:37:43.833 --> 00:37:52.097
Do you know what, that just reminds me of someone that said that earlier on, that they almost disagreed about the fact that you can't love other people until you start loving yourself.
00:37:52.137 --> 00:38:01.684
Because they were saying how they were, they went through a lot of trauma in their life and they felt that they couldn't love themselves, but they felt that they very much could love, you know, their mum and their siblings.
00:38:01.704 --> 00:38:05.007
And they didn't believe in almost what people say when they sometimes say that.
00:38:07.226 --> 00:38:14.523
I agree that there's a version of love that you can have for other people without loving yourself, but that version is probably codependent.
00:38:17.309 --> 00:38:24.092
very much relying on if that other person is validating you constantly, even the relationship you have with your mother and your father.
00:38:24.313 --> 00:38:32.056
And those are the relationships that probably started off a little bit funky and funny because they typically show us what love is anyway.
00:38:33.518 --> 00:38:42.692
But I truly believe you can really start loving somebody else when you do love yourself, but it's sort of like nothing is linear to me.
00:38:43.192 --> 00:38:51.500
It's kind of like this, you know, infinity sign that's happening that you can love yourself more through your connection with someone else.
00:38:51.980 --> 00:38:53.360
You can also love yourself less.
00:38:54.563 --> 00:39:10.552
But there is a level of self-love that you, in order to be at your highest version of love, that I believe you need to have to fully be able to know what your boundaries are, what your values are, so you can really show up for that other person.
00:39:10.612 --> 00:39:13.956
And that almost that unconditional love where you're not expecting anything back.
00:39:14.418 --> 00:39:15.820
Yeah, exactly.
00:39:17.068 --> 00:39:17.327
Good.
00:39:17.407 --> 00:39:17.708
Nice.
00:39:18.068 --> 00:39:18.628
I like it.
00:39:18.668 --> 00:39:23.652
Well, Ashley, for people that are listening, you are on the phone lines if people want to come through and have some psychic readings.
00:39:23.692 --> 00:39:27.213
Your pin number is seven zero zero six six three.
00:39:27.233 --> 00:39:28.393
Just checking that is yours.
00:39:28.733 --> 00:39:29.614
That is your pin number.
00:39:30.454 --> 00:39:33.317
It sounds about right.
00:39:35.737 --> 00:39:40.661
And I often do tend to be on the phone lines just in case people are thinking I need to speak to this lady after what we've just heard.
00:39:41.463 --> 00:39:48.349
During the day, usually, or a little bit in the early evening UK, Central European time.
00:39:48.869 --> 00:39:49.349
Perfect.
00:39:49.710 --> 00:39:51.592
Ashley, it's been a pleasure speaking to you today.
00:39:51.632 --> 00:39:52.753
Thank you so much.
00:39:53.333 --> 00:39:55.614
Good luck with everything, all the phone calls and all the other work.
00:39:55.715 --> 00:39:58.817
And we look forward to catching up with you at some point in the year.
00:39:58.938 --> 00:39:59.978
Thank you very much, Ashley.
00:40:01.239 --> 00:40:01.579
Thank you.
00:40:01.699 --> 00:40:02.000
Bye.
00:40:02.019 --> 00:40:02.420
Bye.
