WEBVTT
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The Artichoke podcast is intended for adults.
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So if you have kids in the car, they better be cool.
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I send to you this lover's note.
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My secret home.
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My artichoke.
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My artichoke.
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My artichoke.
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My artichoke.
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At long last, after nearly eight years of producing and recording the Artichoke storytelling series in New York's beautiful Hudson Valley, we have a podcast.
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We have cracked open the vaults to bring you our favorite stories from the many, many heavy hitters from New York storytelling and comedy scenes who've graced our stage as well as introduced you to some of the amazing folks we've met through our workshops and story slams from throughout the Hudson Valley.
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My name is Drew Prohask.
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I'm the producer and host of the Artichoke Storytelling series.
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And we're gonna kick off our first episode with two of my all-time favorite stories, and we're calling the episode I Was Robbed.
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With me today is the Artichoke's graphic designer and master storyteller, Adam Selpst, who has been robbed pretty much more than anyone I've ever heard of.
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How are you doing, Adam?
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Hey Drew.
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Good to be here.
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Alright, thanks for joining us.
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Adam and I became friends about 10 years ago when I was hosting a storytelling open mic in Brooklyn, and in the back room of this tiny bar, he told a story that just made my jaw drop.
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Adam, do you remember what that was?
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Yeah, I sure do.
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So I just arrived in Marrakesh.
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It was my first time traveling abroad, and you know, I just had no idea what I was doing.
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And I'm walking down the street and I see this guy, and he looks at me and he smiles.
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And this guy had with him an honest to God monkey.
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And I got so excited.
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I was like, look, I'm about to meet my first friend in Morocco.
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And not only that, but he's he's got a monkey, and he walked right up to me and he put this monkey right on my head.
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And I was so excited until the monkey just grabbed my face and began like pulling at my eyelids and my mouth and my lips.
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And the guy turned to me and he said, Give me your money.
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And I realized that I was not, in fact, being welcomed to Morocco.
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I was being mugged.
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And I look out into the audience and I see Drew jump up and point, and he yells at me.
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The same thing happened to me!
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That's right.
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We were both mugged by the same monkey man in Marrakesh.
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Now, what are the odds?
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So it's only fitting that we give Adam the first story in our inaugural podcast.
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Here he is at our main stage show at the Howland Cultural Center in Beacon, New York, back in July 2021 with his story, The Top Gun of Getting Mugged.
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So from a really young age, it was very important to my family that uh I learned how to fight.
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Um not physically, but you know, the other kind.
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Um the kind of fighting style that my family was really adept at is the kind that you would most regularly employ across like the Passover table, used it utilized against other family members.
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Um styles included like intense debate, um, emotional leverage, statistics, preferably made up entirely on the spot, out of whole cloth.
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And from a very young age, I became very adept at this.
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Um, so much so that in college, my roommate sat me down one day and said, Adam, I want to tell you why nobody likes you.
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Which was news to me.
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He said, Every time somebody says anything at all, you just pick the opposite point and begin arguing with them.
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And I was like, I I don't understand.
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You're just describing a conversation to me.
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And it's really a shame because I would have really benefited from learning how to physically defend myself.
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Um I'm a small man.
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I don't mean just physically, although I, you know, okay, we can be honest.
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Okay, that too.
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I mean mentally.
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I'm a small man, which means I've repeatedly found myself in situations that someone who's smarter than me would have been able to avoid, at least by now, my god.
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What I'm trying to say is that I've been mugged a lot.
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I don't want to brag.
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I have been mugged more than anybody else I have ever met.
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Don't no, don't feel bad because here's the thing I'm really good at it.
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Everyone's good at something.
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My skill set, getting mugged, I'm in, I'm out, wallet, phone, right, not a scratch on me.
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Like I'm the fucking top gun of getting mugged.
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Um but it it has happened a lot, and it's it's it's a bit of a drag.
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Because, you know, somebody smarter than me would have altered the behavior somewhat.
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But the fact of the matter is, I have never been hurt, so I've never altered my behavior in the slightest.
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I'm still out there at two in the morning, getting drunk, hitting the cash machine in the worst neighborhood that I've ever seen, and then stumbling home down the side of the street where every single like street lamp is knocked out, which is in fact what I was doing one of the last times I was accosted.
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I was just coming back from a really terrible date.
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So, you know, I hit the cash machine, worst block in my neighborhood, was just lurching home when somebody came up behind me and put me in some kind of really cool kung fu grip that would have been great for me to have learned when I was younger, slapped their hand over my mouth and whispered in my ear, don't move, motherfucker, give us the money.
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And this I appreciate a straightforward mugger.
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There's no fucking around.
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Like, you know what's happening.
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In and out, easy peasy.
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Usually.
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Because this time, I don't know if it was like, I don't know, it was my 12th time, and I was like, this is it, we got we all got a prize, or if I just had all the liquor coursing through my veins, or the fact that like I had just come from such a terrible date, but I decided it's not happening.
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This time I'm gonna fight.
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And as we had previously discussed, I don't know how to do that.
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So I'm like, this is it, it's go time.
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The guy has me clamped, and his partner's hands are going through my my pockets, getting my wallet and stuff.
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And I was like, what am I gonna do?
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I was like, well, I don't know how to do this with my use the hands and do a thing.
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I was like, you know what I do know how to do?
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Is bite a motherfucker.
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Now, if nobody here has bitten an actual human being in a fight, let me tell you what you're missing.
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Here's the thing about biting someone is there's no takebacks.
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Biting someone is, if nothing else, it's a commitment.
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If you choose to bite another human being with your actual teeth, you are you are agreeing to take whatever comes next.
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That's it.
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Like, that is your decision.
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And I'm like, but you know, like that's where I was.
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So I was like, this is it.
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We're doing it.
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So I grabbed the guy's hand, it's like this giant meaty paw.
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Like, how can I bitch you on this?
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It's ridiculous, and I shove it in my mouth, and I couldn't go through with it.
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I knew, I knew it wasn't gonna happen, but I didn't want to back down because I was already halfway there with his hand in my mouth, so I decided to compromise, and I began just swallowing his arm whole like a snake.
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And at first, I think we were both kind of confused.
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By the way, the turn that the knight had taken us.
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And he leaned over and just sort of said in my ear, he goes, That's disgusting.
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I don't disagree.
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I said, That's disgusting, stop it.
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But I didn't stop because I had already gotten his whole hand in, and I was starting to inch up towards his forearm.
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And there came a moment where I think we both thought that I was gonna pull it off.
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Like I was gonna swallow this whole dude.
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Cause he leaned in.
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And this time there was an edge of panic in his voice.
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He said, Stop it, motherfucker! I said, stop it.
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But I didn't.
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I was moving up his forearm, although I have to admit at this point it was becoming difficult.
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But then he said the magic words, bitch, I will stab you.
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All right, I'm out.
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I know when I'm outgunned.
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So I sort of disgorged his arm.
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And I heard him walking away with his friend walking, because if I wasn't right there, I probably wasn't really a threat.
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I get it.
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And he said, Did you see that shit?
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This dude tried to swallow me.
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People are fucking crazy.
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And he's right.
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People are I felt crazy.
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I was the people, I was crazy.
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Alright, that didn't go great that night, but I had made a choice.
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I have chosen a violence.
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The only thing that you know we had to figure out was my exact fighting style because trying to swallow a dude hole turns out that's not in my skill set.
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But I had made a choice and I was committed to it.
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It was a few weeks later, during the day, when I was accosted on the street next, and some dude walked past me and turned around as I went past and said, What the fuck did you just say about my mother?
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Now this is rare.
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And I really appreciated someone who cares about their craft.
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He wasn't just coming at me for the money, he was gonna establish a narrative first.
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He wasn't just taking my money for no reason.
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I had wronged him.
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I had said something about his mother.
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I deserve to be punished, and that's why I had to give up my money.
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It was like an improv session, like, yes, and here's my wallet and phone.
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And I turned around and there was something about what he had said about his mother that just something inside me clicked.
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And inside my chest, I felt these ancient wheels turning and and these tumblers falling into position.
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And I turned around and I said, Your mother, I said, she must be very disappointed in you.
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And he looked at me shocked, because guess what?
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He wasn't expecting this.
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But I was fully in there now.
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Where is she?
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Is she at home?
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She doesn't even know where you are.
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What would she think if she saw what you were doing now?
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It felt like my head was on fire.
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My eyes were like coals, like cold, disapproving judgmental coals, but still, I felt the power of a thousand years of endless, annoying Jewish debate and guilt flowing through my veins, and I felt like I was floating like a fucking X-Man above him.
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When I finally told him that he was killing his mother, he gave me the traditional Jewish sign of surrender, which is to throw up his arms and say, okay, I don't need this, whatever.
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Just leave me alone.
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I don't know who taught it to him.
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But I walked away vindicated, secure in the knowledge that I would never be a victim again.
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Except two weeks later, I was accosted by a pack of 10 12-year-old boys.
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And bedstone at two in the morning who beat the shit out of me and took my wallet.
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Thank you.
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Oh man, I have played that story for so many people.
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I just love it so much.
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If you'd like to hear more from Adam, you can watch some of the many videos we have of him on our YouTube channel, or you can come see him perform his one-man show as I Lay Whining at the Newburg Fringe Festival on October 16 to 18 in, well, Newburgh, New York.
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And next up we have a storyteller who, for me, has become synonymous with East New York, Brooklyn.
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Gastor Almonte is one of the funniest dudes out on the scene and a hell of a nice guy to boot.
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He's a stand-up comedian and a producer and host of The Story Collider, which is a phenomenal show that combines science and storytelling.
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You may have also seen him on Comedy Central's This Is Not Happening, Don't Tell Comedy, and on Amazon Prime.
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And here is Gastor at our mainstage show in November of 2022 with his story Retail Therapy.
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Appreciate y'all.
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Mainly because it teaches you about people.
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You see the best and worst of people.
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I said, sure, boss, how long have you had this mattress for?
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He said, seven years.
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The best and worst of people, right?
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You know, the worst of people to come into this store, waste me and my employees' time trying to return a seven-year-old mattress.
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But the best of people, to believe that it was possible, you know.
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Dream that dream, you know?
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Now I'm the manager.
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I'm supposed to dismiss this guy, send him away, you know.
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But as a human, I want to know what moves you, you know?
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How dare you try to fly that close to the sun, you know?
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So I asked him, I was like, my man, uh, what's wrong with the mattress?
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And he's like, oh, uh, I got bedbugs.
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I said, let's recap, brother.
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Uh just so I'm understanding.
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Uh you think we sold you a mattress seven years ago.
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They came with stealth bed bugs.
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They were waiting for this day to take action.
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And he looked at me, he's like, that's exactly what I'm saying, sir.
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And you gotta understand, I'm not supposed to be here, okay?
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Like, for several reasons.
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One, it was my day off, another manager got sick, they called me in to cover.
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Two, I had just started getting some comedy things on TV.
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You heard my credits previously.
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Not to brag, I was kind of the shit, you know?
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But as an artist, when you want to work full-time at the thing that you love, it doesn't happen instantly.
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You work really hard to get good at the thing, and then when you're good at the thing, you realize that the rest of your life is spent trying to convince people to watch you do the thing that you're good at.
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I hadn't figured that part out yet.
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So, yeah, for real.
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So I was stuck selling sofas and trying to do mattress returns over bed bug situations.
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Now listen, uh I looked at this dude and I was like, hey, listen, I ain't gonna lie to you, you've inspired me.
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But unfortunately, I can't take your mattress, boss.
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And he looked at me and he was like, listen, uh one of two things are gonna happen here.
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Either you are gonna give me a new mattress or I'm gonna give you bed bugs.
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Then he reached in his jacket and he pulled out a mason jar full of bed bugs.
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He shook it a little bit to let me hear that the cap was a little loose, the stakes were real, you know.
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Now, listen, if you guys haven't worked in retail before, there's a lot of cool things that happen behind the scenes you might not know.
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For example, like uh if a parent loses their child, people start saying code Adam so that you know everyone in the store knows, you know, block the doors, look for the kid, but not to alarm the other people shopping.
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There's a ton of things like that that we have in place.
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There is no code for yo, I'm being robbed at bed bug point.
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Help me.
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So I'm doing hand gestures, like, you know, to trying to code over people to come see me.
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Uh furniture stores, uh, in particular ones that sell mattresses, also sell bed covers.
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So you'll see in furniture stores they'll have these little mason jars with like a sliver of the bed cover and a liquid inside to show you that it's, amongst other things, waterproof.
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They're also incidentally better belt proof, this dude should have had one.
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But they're all over the store.
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So when I'm doing hand gestures and a customer is holding a mason jar, so my co-managers, it looks like, oh, Castle's crushing that sale.
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You know?
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So no one comes over.
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They just see me being really animated and the customer demoing one of the mason jars and nothing getting through.
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Now I'm at the counter, there's other people on the staff closing other sales with those customers.
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Uh, most of the people that work at the counter are like, you know, a year or two out of college, except one lady, a Beatrice, she's been with Bob since the very beginning.
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Been with the furniture store from day one.
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She hears what's happening, she says, I quit.
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Mid-customer interaction that she's dealing with, she looks over, says, I quit.
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This is my last day, and just walked off.
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Customers confused.
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I'm confused, I'm stressed.
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I'm like, I'll get to you, but I have another situation.
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I don't know if you could tell, we're under far more serious danger.
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Finally, uh, one of the managers kind of sees what's going on.
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My boy Miguel comes over, and he thinks, like, oh, Gaston Musley helped closing the sale.
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You know, so he's animated, he's like, Hey, so how can I help, man?
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What's going on?
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Who's your friend?
00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:43.519
And I introduce him and say, Hey, uh, this is Tristian.
00:21:43.599 --> 00:21:45.519
He's trying to rob us right now.
00:21:47.759 --> 00:21:51.359
And Miguel thinks I'm playing, and I'm like, You see that little Mason jaw?
00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:54.480
That's not one of ours that has real bed bugs.
00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:59.200
And he looks at it, he's like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:21:59.279 --> 00:21:59.759
I don't do that.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:01.599
No, no, no, no, no.
00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:04.960
I was like, Miguel, I believed you at the first no.
00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:10.559
So I'm like, homie, how can I help you?
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:12.480
What can we do to end this situation?
00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:14.559
He's like, I just need a mattress.
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:22.799
Now I'm not supposed to give away mattresses, but fun fact if you go anywhere with a mason jar full of bed bugs, you get your way.
00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:28.960
So I was like, listen, we're gonna get you a mattress.
00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:34.400
I was like, can I send my peer Miguel into the area to see what mattresses we have in stock?
00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:35.519
And he says, cool.
00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:47.119
Miguel goes over, and I'm hoping Miguel knows, besides figuring out, hey, let's get this guy a mattress, maybe start doing other stuff called cops, things of that nature that might be helpful.
00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:58.799
Miguel goes off and he looks at him, he looks at me, the guy turns to look at me, and he's looking at me, he's like, and I'm like, no shit, you know.
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:05.519
Now, I don't know if you've ever been mid robbery before.
00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:12.400
It's a difficult time to create small talk, you know, but I'm trying to, I gotta buy Miguel time, you know.
00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:19.119
Uh if you've been to furniture stores, they usually have like coffee and snack areas, and those are the things I'm trained to do.
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:20.000
I'm offering them.
00:23:20.079 --> 00:23:24.160
They sound silly as shit when someone's robbering you, you know, like, oh, you want some cookies?
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:28.079
You know, while we wait, we got ice cream, you know.
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:33.200
Miguel comes over after like five minutes of really awkwardness.
00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:42.319
Uh the customers have slowly like figured out they can't leave because anytime they like look over at us, he shakes the mason jar.
00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:48.559
So the customers at the counter are stuck, my cashiers are stuck, I'm stuck, and he's with us.
00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:53.440
Miguel comes over and he's like, hey, uh, we got a spare mattress, we're gonna load it into your truck.
00:23:53.680 --> 00:24:00.480
And I look around, I also notice that all the other customers in the store and the sales reps have slowly left the store calmly.
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:02.319
So Miguel has done his job.
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:07.920
Call over two warehouse guys, they they're they show him the mattress, he approves.
00:24:08.079 --> 00:24:09.359
I'm glad, you know.
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:11.599
We're like, hey, we're gonna load that up.
00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:17.279
And they start, they put it in the car, and as they start making their way towards the front of the store, two cops walked in.
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:18.960
Miguel had called them over.
00:24:19.680 --> 00:24:28.640
The cops come over, and I see, again, they're at the entranceway, I see them talk to my guys, the workers that are gonna load this mattress.
00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:33.680
They're holding a mattress, they're talking to the cops, and I can't hear it.
00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:38.160
But this is more or less what the body language told me was happening.
00:24:38.400 --> 00:24:40.160
Hey, uh, so what's the problem, sir?
00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:42.079
Are they being robbed by bed bugs?
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:44.079
They being robbed by bed bugs.
00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:47.440
And they say, You sure?
00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:51.759
And they're like, we're sure he's getting this mattress for free right now.
00:24:52.400 --> 00:24:56.079
Then they walk over to the front because they in disbelief too.
00:24:56.240 --> 00:24:57.839
They're like, hey, what's going on here?
00:24:58.240 --> 00:25:00.559
This guy here is robbing us of our bed bugs.
00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:04.240
I feel like Miguel gave you all of that information earlier.
00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:09.839
And he's and the cop looks at the dude and he's like, You need to leave.
00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:12.720
And the guy's like, Not without my mattress.
00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:16.960
And the cops looked at us like, so what you gonna do from here?
00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:26.799
Like, we ain't called them because it's escalated past the rule book of this furniture store.
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:33.680
And I tell you this, listen, I don't know where you are in your life, you know.
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:36.559
You guys got, you know, things gotta be going okay.
00:25:36.640 --> 00:25:38.480
You got money to buy tickets to a show.
00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:44.079
But if things change with there, you need to rob somebody, consider using a mason jar full of bed bugs.
00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:46.480
It is a highly effective weapon.
00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:50.079
I watched this man come into my store.
00:25:50.319 --> 00:25:54.240
You gotta, you gotta put yourself into his mind.
00:25:54.400 --> 00:25:56.559
Picture where he was earlier that day, you know.
00:25:56.640 --> 00:26:00.000
He was at home, tired as hell, itchy as shit.
00:26:01.920 --> 00:26:03.279
I got a real problem.
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:05.359
I need sleep, but I can't do it here.
00:26:05.519 --> 00:26:06.799
What can I do?
00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:09.920
He's got no money available to him.
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:16.880
Then he looked around his room and saw the tools available to him, and he put them to use.
00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:19.359
That's the American dream, you know?
00:26:21.599 --> 00:26:35.200
And I watched him get a mattress loaded into his truck by my staff with two police escorts and drive off.
00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:39.599
I asked the cops, like, yo, why ain't y'all arrest him, attack him?
00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:41.440
I was like, I don't know if you heard he had bed bugs.
00:26:41.519 --> 00:26:42.799
I was like, Yeah, I know.
00:26:43.759 --> 00:26:45.119
That's why y'all are here.
00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:47.839
He said, Well, we don't want to have bed bugs in the car.
00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:50.000
We don't want to have bed bugs anywhere.
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:51.359
We are in agreement.
00:26:51.599 --> 00:26:53.279
Bed bugs are a problem.
00:26:57.039 --> 00:27:00.000
So we go to the back, uh, we close the store.
00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:08.000
Everybody goes into the back room, we take off like our uniforms, our suits, and we get sprayed down with this like alcohol product.
00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:12.400
Uh and I drove home in boxes that day.
00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:22.640
And uh, you know, I leave every day I left for work in a full suit, tie, like I look sharp, you know, and I showed up in boxes.
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:24.880
So my wife had questions, you know.
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:32.079
You know, like what happened to you sold everything, honey.
00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:32.960
You know.
00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:39.680
And I looked at her, I was like, yeah, Shorty, uh, you know, things are going pretty good with comedy.
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:41.599
You know, I got some things lined up.
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:43.599
I've been on TV a couple times.
00:27:43.839 --> 00:27:50.079
Uh plus I got robbed today uh with bed bugs at the store.
00:27:50.799 --> 00:27:56.640
So I feel like we should talk about me maybe transitioning to doing comedy full time.
00:27:57.519 --> 00:27:59.279
She's like, you think this is the right time?
00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:09.200
I was like, I don't know, but I feel like the odds of me being robbed by bed bugs reduced significantly at comedy clubs.
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:10.640
You know?
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:18.160
So I've been chasing my dream ever since, holding TV shows hostage with a theoretical mason jaw in my hand ever since.
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:19.440
Thank you so much.
00:28:25.039 --> 00:28:28.480
If you like Gastor's story, and come on, how could you not?
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:39.279
Check out his podcast, The War Report, his stand-up special Immigrant Made, or live on stage hosting his show Sandwich Comedy in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
00:28:39.519 --> 00:28:47.680
And as luck would have it, Gastor will also be performing in our next mainstage show on Saturday, September 12th in Beacon, New York.
00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:52.480
You can grab tickets right now on our website, Artichokeshow.com.
00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:56.079
The Artichoke isn't just a curated storytelling show.
00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:59.680
We have a mission to help those in our community tell their own stories.
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:06.000
And so in the past few years, we've grown to include storytelling workshops and monthly Story Slam competitions.
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:18.720
In each episode, our podcast producer Carly Shiraki is going to highlight some of the amazing talent we have right here in the Hudson Valley, and I couldn't think of a better person to kick this off with than my pal Natalie Allen.
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:34.480
Natalie was not only in our very first artichoke storytelling workshop, but she won our very first artichoke story slam, and then went on to compete against 10 other Story Slam champs to win what we call our big story showdown in August of last year.
00:29:34.799 --> 00:29:38.160
Ladies and gentlemen, here's Natalie Allen.
00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:57.039
Were you to ask me as an adolescent if I could change anything about myself, I would have without hesitation told you that I would have taken my feet off and gotten new feet.
00:29:57.279 --> 00:29:58.960
I hated my feet.
00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:03.599
I had big feet, and it haunted me.
00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:08.720
From age eight to age 12, my foot size kept up with my age.
00:30:09.039 --> 00:30:12.880
Eight, nine, ten, eleven, what the fuck?
00:30:13.039 --> 00:30:13.759
Twelve.
00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:17.759
I fit nothing in the women's side of the shoe store.
00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:23.680
All of my friends are going to the prom and to parties with these cute Cinderella fucking shoes.
00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:28.240
And I am desperately trying to find loafers that don't look too man-ish.
00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:45.920
In the scene of Cinderella, when the guy goes to the evil stepsister's house looking for Cinderella with that tiny glass slipper, and the evil stepsisters are desperately trying to get their disgusting floppy feet into the shoe.
00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:48.559
I really identified with them.
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:51.519
I did, because like, am I evil?
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:59.680
Am I unlovable and disgusting, flipper-footed woman, totally bereft of any sex appeal?
00:30:59.920 --> 00:31:06.240
My dad used to sing this song, and he didn't mean anything by it, but it's one of those dumb things dads do.
00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:09.680
He'd go, your feet's too big, your feet's too big.
00:31:09.839 --> 00:31:13.200
You know I love you, honey, but your feet's too big.
00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:16.799
From ankle up, you're mighty sweet.
00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:20.559
From ankle down, you're too much feet.
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:28.319
I mean dads, right?
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:36.079
So it's it's 2005, I'm 18, I'm at university, and I'm really developing this sense of independence.
00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:46.720
I'm outside of the house, I'm a theater major at university, and I walk into my theater 101 class, and there's this very sweet, sandy-haired, hazel-eyed boy.
00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:51.519
He's tall, he's he's older, he's 21, so he's really got his shit together.
00:31:51.759 --> 00:31:58.880
He's he's a junior and he's a physics major, and I really like how he monologues at me about his physics class.
00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:00.160
It's sweet.
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:03.839
He's nerdy, and I feel very relaxed around him.
00:32:03.920 --> 00:32:07.759
And on our first date, he takes me out for a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:11.759
And I just feel like I could be myself around this guy.
00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:14.240
Except for that one thing.
00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:20.000
I I can't tell him how big my foot is because if I tell him how big my foot is, he's gonna find me unlovable.
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:25.759
So there's there's a little bit of a wall up, and we start hanging out a lot together.
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:28.160
He's suggesting we go on walks on the beach.
00:32:28.559 --> 00:32:31.039
And I'm like, yeah, I'll just keep my my shoes on.
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:32.799
I don't like sand between my toes.
00:32:33.119 --> 00:32:38.319
Oh, let's go through walks through this beautiful meadow and garden to take our shoes off and feel the earth.
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:42.640
Um yeah, I'll just keep my shoes on because I don't I don't like grass stains.
00:32:42.720 --> 00:32:43.920
I'm a city girl.
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:54.559
And and we're we're starting to to fall in love, and and I'm his first love and he's mine, and we have sex, but I keep my feet under the sheets.
00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:57.200
I do, I I I really do.
00:32:57.279 --> 00:32:58.720
I'm I'm very conscious of this.
00:32:58.799 --> 00:33:00.400
I don't want him to look at my feet.
00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:04.240
I'm wearing socks in the house, I'm not taking my shoes off.
00:33:04.799 --> 00:33:09.839
And there's this like growing unease I have of like, if he finds out, he'll leave me.
00:33:09.920 --> 00:33:13.759
And and I know it's silly, but it's truly what I was terrified of.
00:33:13.839 --> 00:33:24.319
And so, anyway, we're at we're at the point where the scars and the birthmarks and the ug start coming out in a relationship, and all relationships eventually get there.
00:33:24.799 --> 00:33:26.960
Or or not, maybe you should talk.
00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:31.759
Um so we're sitting in the we're sitting in the front seat of a 1988 cutlass.
00:33:31.839 --> 00:33:35.839
It's dark, it's spring 2006, and I'm finally gonna come clean.
00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:41.359
Um Walter, I say, I uh I fucking hate my feet.
00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:52.559
I I don't like showing my toes, I I don't like people looking at them, I just feel completely disgusted by them, and I I just want you to know.
00:33:53.279 --> 00:34:03.279
And he's silent, he's holding the the uh wheel of the car and he's looking out the windshield, and uh, and he's like, Okay, I'm gonna tell you something, but you you have to tell nobody.
00:34:03.359 --> 00:34:04.400
It's a big secret.
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:06.079
And I'm like, okay.
00:34:07.039 --> 00:34:08.239
He's gonna leave me.
00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:11.599
And uh he goes, I have a foot fetish.
00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:17.360
Like, you like feet?
00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:18.639
No, no, no.
00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:20.159
I love feet.
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:26.800
I want to have sex with feet, and I'm like, but my feet are gross and huge.
00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:29.519
And he's like, No, I love big feet.
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:31.760
Okay, now stick with me.
00:34:31.920 --> 00:34:33.280
We're gonna go on a montage.
00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:37.599
Hall of Notes is playing, and it's a montage in the next two and a half years, right?
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:47.039
And we're going to the shoe store and we're finding the largest open-toed sandals we can find, and I'm trying them on and walking down the aisle, and he's sitting there watching me.
00:34:47.199 --> 00:34:55.760
He's buying me pedicures, he's sweeping me up off of my feet so that I don't sully the bottoms as I walk from the car.
00:34:56.000 --> 00:34:59.280
Oh my god, he says, admiring my foot at night.
00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:02.400
The arch of your foot is so graceful and beautiful.
00:35:02.559 --> 00:35:04.480
Your toes are lovely.
00:35:04.880 --> 00:35:11.280
And I am suddenly transported into this whole new sense of self.
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:15.599
I've got a sex appeal where I didn't think there was one.
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:18.000
Ankle down, I'm not too much feet.
00:35:18.079 --> 00:35:19.920
I'm second pair of tits.
00:35:23.280 --> 00:35:33.280
Holy shit! I'm suddenly wearing open-toed sandals to picnics, sliding the shoes off and wiggling my toes in the grass.
00:35:33.599 --> 00:35:39.679
I feel empowered and sexy in a way I've never allowed myself to feel.
00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:44.079
Because I always thought there was a part of me that was ugly and unlovable.
00:35:44.320 --> 00:35:55.199
And this person who eventually broke up, we broke up over amicable things, but this person gave me the permission to truly love a part of myself that I didn't think I could.
00:35:55.440 --> 00:36:05.440
And anyway, I I wish it for everybody to meet a person who looks at the absolute worst part of you and says, I can't wait to fuck that.
00:36:08.079 --> 00:36:09.039
Thank you.
00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:25.840
Not only is that an incredible story from Natalie, that is a slam-winning story from one of the Artichoke Story Slams at Norma's in Waffinger Falls.
00:36:26.239 --> 00:36:27.760
Carly Shiraki here.
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:32.719
I am a friend and fan of the Artichoke, and I'm also producing this podcast.
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:41.360
And I'm gonna be popping in from time to time, sharing little snapshots from conversations I'm having with the students that we're featuring in every episode.
00:36:41.599 --> 00:36:47.679
So here's Natalie sharing a little bit about moving to Beacon in 2020 and discovering the artichoke.
00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:53.840
When we came up, I was desperate to meet people and make community like we all are.
00:36:54.159 --> 00:36:58.320
And I saw signs up for the artichoke.
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:10.400
And prior to moving up here, I had seen the moth, I had gone to shows, I knew of it, and it was like it was this little egg of a dream I was harboring where I was like, oh, maybe I'll get up there and do it one day.
00:37:10.559 --> 00:37:12.320
But like I hate homework.
00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:14.559
Just as a rule, I've always hated homework.
00:37:14.639 --> 00:37:18.880
I'm really good at bullshitting, I'm really good at making things up, hence why I do improv.
00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:27.360
And so I'd always shied away from doing storytelling because I thought I had to memorize like a you know five-minute monologue, and so I was like, yeah, this isn't gonna work.
00:37:27.519 --> 00:37:30.480
But I saw the signs up here and I was like, I'm gonna do that one day.
00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:32.480
And I was like way too intimidated.
00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:47.440
I went to an artichoke show and like I remember Drew introducing each person getting up, and it was like, so and so, what a Nobel Peace Prize, and has worked in Africa saving babies, and such and such has got a poet laureate.
00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:59.599
Well, as luck and life would have it, through a series of synchronous email referrals, Natalie ended up on an artichoke mainstage show with a few other newbies, everyone flexing their muscle for the first time.
00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:07.039
Now, with a few mainstage and class shows under her belt, I'd venture to say she is a seasoned storyteller.
00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:13.679
I asked her to drop us a little deeper into the experience of telling the story that we all just heard.
00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:32.800
I had one of those moments where, like, maybe two or three minutes into the story, I suddenly like clicked into I don't know what you want to call it, the universe, the collective consciousness, the zone, that higher place our brain goes to when the vibrations like get higher in pitch.
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:39.360
You know, if I'm getting like really woo-woo and spiritual, like my fucking, like, I got into it and and I was riding the wave.
00:38:39.440 --> 00:38:44.719
And so I blacked out, like, I don't have a memory of tell of like actually telling the story.
00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:51.599
When I had told the story previously, like in my bedroom and whatnot, like I was kind of like, man, I'm not getting emotional through this.
00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:55.119
Like, it doesn't feel like there's any real emotional vulnerability that I can show.
00:38:55.199 --> 00:39:05.360
I'm a little worried that it's just gonna be me kind of giving bullet points about this thing that happened until I got up there and then suddenly like I got really emotional.
00:39:05.679 --> 00:39:06.559
Yeah, you did.
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:09.360
Yeah, it really took me off guard.
00:39:09.599 --> 00:39:09.840
Wow.
00:39:10.079 --> 00:39:14.079
And totally just like in flow state, riding the wave, total presence.
00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:15.760
Do you ever get like that?
00:39:16.239 --> 00:39:17.360
Yeah, for sure.
00:39:17.519 --> 00:39:18.000
For sure.
00:39:18.159 --> 00:39:22.639
I can feel when I have an audience and when we're vibing.
00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:23.119
Yeah.
00:39:23.440 --> 00:39:33.199
And then I and then once I feel that it changes the way I tell the rest of the story because I like I add a little more vibrance or I pause to be with them.
00:39:33.519 --> 00:39:39.519
Um thank you so much for chatting with us here at the Artichoke Podcast.
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:41.679
Carly, my pleasure, my dear.
00:39:41.920 --> 00:39:43.119
My pleasure.
00:39:44.239 --> 00:39:53.920
If you are interested in competing in one of our monthly Story Slams, they take place every fourth Thursday of the month at a fabulous cafe called Norma's in Wappinger's Falls.
00:39:54.159 --> 00:40:05.360
Or if the idea of getting on stage in front of strangers and burying your soul just scares the bejesus out of you, our next storytelling workshop begins October 20th in Beacon, New York.
00:40:05.840 --> 00:40:07.199
That's our show, people.
00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:10.880
If you've had a good time, please, please, please hit the subscribe button.
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It would make us so happy.
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And before we go, I'd like to quickly thank our podcast producer, Carly Shiraki, our graphic designer Adam Selpst, all the wonderful storytellers in this episode, the staffs of Norma's and the Howland Cultural Center, and our incredibly supportive audience who've stuck with us over the years.
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We'll see y'all soon.
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The Artichoke podcast is intended for adults.
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So if you have kids in the car, they better be cool.
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I send to you this lover's note.
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My secret home.
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My artichoke.
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My artichoke.
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My artichoke.
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My artichoke.
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At long last, after nearly eight years of producing and recording the Artichoke storytelling series in New York's beautiful Hudson Valley, we have a podcast.
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We have cracked open the vaults to bring you our favorite stories from the many, many heavy hitters from New York storytelling and comedy scenes who've graced our stage as well as introduced you to some of the amazing folks we've met through our workshops and story slams from throughout the Hudson Valley.
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My name is Drew Prohask.
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I'm the producer and host of the Artichoke Storytelling series.
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And we're gonna kick off our first episode with two of my all-time favorite stories, and we're calling the episode I Was Robbed.
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With me today is the Artichoke's graphic designer and master storyteller, Adam Selpst, who has been robbed pretty much more than anyone I've ever heard of.
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How are you doing, Adam?
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Hey Drew.
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Good to be here.
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Alright, thanks for joining us.
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Adam and I became friends about 10 years ago when I was hosting a storytelling open mic in Brooklyn, and in the back room of this tiny bar, he told a story that just made my jaw drop.
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Adam, do you remember what that was?
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Yeah, I sure do.
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So I just arrived in Marrakesh.
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It was my first time traveling abroad, and you know, I just had no idea what I was doing.
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And I'm walking down the street and I see this guy, and he looks at me and he smiles.
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And this guy had with him an honest to God monkey.
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And I got so excited.
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I was like, look, I'm about to meet my first friend in Morocco.
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And not only that, but he's he's got a monkey, and he walked right up to me and he put this monkey right on my head.
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And I was so excited until the monkey just grabbed my face and began like pulling at my eyelids and my mouth and my lips.
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And the guy turned to me and he said, Give me your money.
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And I realized that I was not, in fact, being welcomed to Morocco.
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I was being mugged.
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And I look out into the audience and I see Drew jump up and point, and he yells at me.
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The same thing happened to me!
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That's right.
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We were both mugged by the same monkey man in Marrakesh.
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Now, what are the odds?
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So it's only fitting that we give Adam the first story in our inaugural podcast.
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Here he is at our main stage show at the Howland Cultural Center in Beacon, New York, back in July 2021 with his story, The Top Gun of Getting Mugged.
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So from a really young age, it was very important to my family that uh I learned how to fight.
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Um not physically, but you know, the other kind.
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Um the kind of fighting style that my family was really adept at is the kind that you would most regularly employ across like the Passover table, used it utilized against other family members.
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Um styles included like intense debate, um, emotional leverage, statistics, preferably made up entirely on the spot, out of whole cloth.
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And from a very young age, I became very adept at this.
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Um, so much so that in college, my roommate sat me down one day and said, Adam, I want to tell you why nobody likes you.
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Which was news to me.
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He said, Every time somebody says anything at all, you just pick the opposite point and begin arguing with them.
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And I was like, I I don't understand.
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You're just describing a conversation to me.
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And it's really a shame because I would have really benefited from learning how to physically defend myself.
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Um I'm a small man.
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I don't mean just physically, although I, you know, okay, we can be honest.
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Okay, that too.
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I mean mentally.
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I'm a small man, which means I've repeatedly found myself in situations that someone who's smarter than me would have been able to avoid, at least by now, my god.
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What I'm trying to say is that I've been mugged a lot.
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I don't want to brag.
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I have been mugged more than anybody else I have ever met.
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Don't no, don't feel bad because here's the thing I'm really good at it.
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Everyone's good at something.
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My skill set, getting mugged, I'm in, I'm out, wallet, phone, right, not a scratch on me.
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Like I'm the fucking top gun of getting mugged.
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Um but it it has happened a lot, and it's it's it's a bit of a drag.
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Because, you know, somebody smarter than me would have altered the behavior somewhat.
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But the fact of the matter is, I have never been hurt, so I've never altered my behavior in the slightest.
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I'm still out there at two in the morning, getting drunk, hitting the cash machine in the worst neighborhood that I've ever seen, and then stumbling home down the side of the street where every single like street lamp is knocked out, which is in fact what I was doing one of the last times I was accosted.
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I was just coming back from a really terrible date.
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So, you know, I hit the cash machine, worst block in my neighborhood, was just lurching home when somebody came up behind me and put me in some kind of really cool kung fu grip that would have been great for me to have learned when I was younger, slapped their hand over my mouth and whispered in my ear, don't move, motherfucker, give us the money.
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And this I appreciate a straightforward mugger.
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There's no fucking around.
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Like, you know what's happening.
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In and out, easy peasy.
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Usually.
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Because this time, I don't know if it was like, I don't know, it was my 12th time, and I was like, this is it, we got we all got a prize, or if I just had all the liquor coursing through my veins, or the fact that like I had just come from such a terrible date, but I decided it's not happening.
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This time I'm gonna fight.
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And as we had previously discussed, I don't know how to do that.
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So I'm like, this is it, it's go time.
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The guy has me clamped, and his partner's hands are going through my my pockets, getting my wallet and stuff.
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And I was like, what am I gonna do?
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I was like, well, I don't know how to do this with my use the hands and do a thing.
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I was like, you know what I do know how to do?
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Is bite a motherfucker.
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Now, if nobody here has bitten an actual human being in a fight, let me tell you what you're missing.
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Here's the thing about biting someone is there's no takebacks.
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Biting someone is, if nothing else, it's a commitment.
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If you choose to bite another human being with your actual teeth, you are you are agreeing to take whatever comes next.
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That's it.
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Like, that is your decision.
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And I'm like, but you know, like that's where I was.
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So I was like, this is it.
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We're doing it.
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So I grabbed the guy's hand, it's like this giant meaty paw.
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Like, how can I bitch you on this?
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It's ridiculous, and I shove it in my mouth, and I couldn't go through with it.
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I knew, I knew it wasn't gonna happen, but I didn't want to back down because I was already halfway there with his hand in my mouth, so I decided to compromise, and I began just swallowing his arm whole like a snake.
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And at first, I think we were both kind of confused.
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By the way, the turn that the knight had taken us.
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And he leaned over and just sort of said in my ear, he goes, That's disgusting.
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I don't disagree.
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I said, That's disgusting, stop it.
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But I didn't stop because I had already gotten his whole hand in, and I was starting to inch up towards his forearm.
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And there came a moment where I think we both thought that I was gonna pull it off.
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Like I was gonna swallow this whole dude.
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Cause he leaned in.
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And this time there was an edge of panic in his voice.
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He said, Stop it, motherfucker! I said, stop it.
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But I didn't.
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I was moving up his forearm, although I have to admit at this point it was becoming difficult.
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But then he said the magic words, bitch, I will stab you.
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All right, I'm out.
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I know when I'm outgunned.
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So I sort of disgorged his arm.
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And I heard him walking away with his friend walking, because if I wasn't right there, I probably wasn't really a threat.
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I get it.
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And he said, Did you see that shit?
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This dude tried to swallow me.
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People are fucking crazy.
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And he's right.
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People are I felt crazy.
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I was the people, I was crazy.
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Alright, that didn't go great that night, but I had made a choice.
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I have chosen a violence.
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The only thing that you know we had to figure out was my exact fighting style because trying to swallow a dude hole turns out that's not in my skill set.
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But I had made a choice and I was committed to it.
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It was a few weeks later, during the day, when I was accosted on the street next, and some dude walked past me and turned around as I went past and said, What the fuck did you just say about my mother?
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Now this is rare.
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And I really appreciated someone who cares about their craft.
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He wasn't just coming at me for the money, he was gonna establish a narrative first.
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He wasn't just taking my money for no reason.
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I had wronged him.
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I had said something about his mother.
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I deserve to be punished, and that's why I had to give up my money.
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It was like an improv session, like, yes, and here's my wallet and phone.
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And I turned around and there was something about what he had said about his mother that just something inside me clicked.
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And inside my chest, I felt these ancient wheels turning and and these tumblers falling into position.
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And I turned around and I said, Your mother, I said, she must be very disappointed in you.
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And he looked at me shocked, because guess what?
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He wasn't expecting this.
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But I was fully in there now.
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Where is she?
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Is she at home?
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She doesn't even know where you are.
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What would she think if she saw what you were doing now?
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It felt like my head was on fire.
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My eyes were like coals, like cold, disapproving judgmental coals, but still, I felt the power of a thousand years of endless, annoying Jewish debate and guilt flowing through my veins, and I felt like I was floating like a fucking X-Man above him.
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When I finally told him that he was killing his mother, he gave me the traditional Jewish sign of surrender, which is to throw up his arms and say, okay, I don't need this, whatever.
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Just leave me alone.
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I don't know who taught it to him.
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But I walked away vindicated, secure in the knowledge that I would never be a victim again.
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Except two weeks later, I was accosted by a pack of 10 12-year-old boys.
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And bedstone at two in the morning who beat the shit out of me and took my wallet.
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Thank you.
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Oh man, I have played that story for so many people.
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I just love it so much.
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If you'd like to hear more from Adam, you can watch some of the many videos we have of him on our YouTube channel, or you can come see him perform his one-man show as I Lay Whining at the Newburg Fringe Festival on October 16 to 18 in, well, Newburgh, New York.
00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:46.159
And next up we have a storyteller who, for me, has become synonymous with East New York, Brooklyn.
00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:51.679
Gastor Almonte is one of the funniest dudes out on the scene and a hell of a nice guy to boot.
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He's a stand-up comedian and a producer and host of The Story Collider, which is a phenomenal show that combines science and storytelling.
00:15:00.080 --> 00:15:06.799
You may have also seen him on Comedy Central's This Is Not Happening, Don't Tell Comedy, and on Amazon Prime.
00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:14.960
And here is Gastor at our mainstage show in November of 2022 with his story Retail Therapy.
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Appreciate y'all.
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Mainly because it teaches you about people.
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You see the best and worst of people.
00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:10.080
I said, sure, boss, how long have you had this mattress for?
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:12.480
He said, seven years.
00:16:15.919 --> 00:16:17.759
The best and worst of people, right?
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You know, the worst of people to come into this store, waste me and my employees' time trying to return a seven-year-old mattress.
00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:30.480
But the best of people, to believe that it was possible, you know.
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Dream that dream, you know?
00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:36.559
Now I'm the manager.
00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:39.679
I'm supposed to dismiss this guy, send him away, you know.
00:16:39.919 --> 00:16:43.759
But as a human, I want to know what moves you, you know?
00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:48.159
How dare you try to fly that close to the sun, you know?
00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:56.000
So I asked him, I was like, my man, uh, what's wrong with the mattress?
00:16:56.480 --> 00:17:00.639
And he's like, oh, uh, I got bedbugs.
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I said, let's recap, brother.
00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:12.079
Uh just so I'm understanding.
00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:18.720
Uh you think we sold you a mattress seven years ago.
00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:22.079
They came with stealth bed bugs.
00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:25.759
They were waiting for this day to take action.
00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:30.720
And he looked at me, he's like, that's exactly what I'm saying, sir.
00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:35.759
And you gotta understand, I'm not supposed to be here, okay?
00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:37.119
Like, for several reasons.
00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:41.200
One, it was my day off, another manager got sick, they called me in to cover.
00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:45.119
Two, I had just started getting some comedy things on TV.
00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:46.559
You heard my credits previously.
00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:49.200
Not to brag, I was kind of the shit, you know?
00:17:51.440 --> 00:17:58.240
But as an artist, when you want to work full-time at the thing that you love, it doesn't happen instantly.
00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:08.319
You work really hard to get good at the thing, and then when you're good at the thing, you realize that the rest of your life is spent trying to convince people to watch you do the thing that you're good at.
00:18:08.559 --> 00:18:10.960
I hadn't figured that part out yet.
00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:13.759
So, yeah, for real.
00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:23.200
So I was stuck selling sofas and trying to do mattress returns over bed bug situations.
00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:32.000
Now listen, uh I looked at this dude and I was like, hey, listen, I ain't gonna lie to you, you've inspired me.
00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:41.440
But unfortunately, I can't take your mattress, boss.
00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:48.240
And he looked at me and he was like, listen, uh one of two things are gonna happen here.
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:55.359
Either you are gonna give me a new mattress or I'm gonna give you bed bugs.
00:18:58.240 --> 00:19:06.079
Then he reached in his jacket and he pulled out a mason jar full of bed bugs.
00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:12.640
He shook it a little bit to let me hear that the cap was a little loose, the stakes were real, you know.
00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:20.640
Now, listen, if you guys haven't worked in retail before, there's a lot of cool things that happen behind the scenes you might not know.
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:31.440
For example, like uh if a parent loses their child, people start saying code Adam so that you know everyone in the store knows, you know, block the doors, look for the kid, but not to alarm the other people shopping.
00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:34.160
There's a ton of things like that that we have in place.
00:19:34.480 --> 00:19:40.799
There is no code for yo, I'm being robbed at bed bug point.
00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:44.079
Help me.
00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:53.759
So I'm doing hand gestures, like, you know, to trying to code over people to come see me.
00:19:54.559 --> 00:19:59.920
Uh furniture stores, uh, in particular ones that sell mattresses, also sell bed covers.
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:11.759
So you'll see in furniture stores they'll have these little mason jars with like a sliver of the bed cover and a liquid inside to show you that it's, amongst other things, waterproof.
00:20:11.839 --> 00:20:14.880
They're also incidentally better belt proof, this dude should have had one.
00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:16.880
But they're all over the store.
00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:27.599
So when I'm doing hand gestures and a customer is holding a mason jar, so my co-managers, it looks like, oh, Castle's crushing that sale.
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:28.799
You know?
00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:30.160
So no one comes over.
00:20:30.240 --> 00:20:38.319
They just see me being really animated and the customer demoing one of the mason jars and nothing getting through.
00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:44.799
Now I'm at the counter, there's other people on the staff closing other sales with those customers.
00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:53.519
Uh, most of the people that work at the counter are like, you know, a year or two out of college, except one lady, a Beatrice, she's been with Bob since the very beginning.
00:20:53.839 --> 00:20:55.839
Been with the furniture store from day one.
00:20:56.319 --> 00:20:59.440
She hears what's happening, she says, I quit.
00:21:04.480 --> 00:21:09.599
Mid-customer interaction that she's dealing with, she looks over, says, I quit.
00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:12.799
This is my last day, and just walked off.
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:16.960
Customers confused.
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:18.720
I'm confused, I'm stressed.
00:21:18.880 --> 00:21:21.839
I'm like, I'll get to you, but I have another situation.
00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:25.680
I don't know if you could tell, we're under far more serious danger.
00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:29.039
Finally, uh, one of the managers kind of sees what's going on.
00:21:29.119 --> 00:21:35.119
My boy Miguel comes over, and he thinks, like, oh, Gaston Musley helped closing the sale.
00:21:35.279 --> 00:21:37.920
You know, so he's animated, he's like, Hey, so how can I help, man?
00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:38.960
What's going on?
00:21:39.519 --> 00:21:40.480
Who's your friend?
00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:43.519
And I introduce him and say, Hey, uh, this is Tristian.
00:21:43.599 --> 00:21:45.519
He's trying to rob us right now.
00:21:47.759 --> 00:21:51.359
And Miguel thinks I'm playing, and I'm like, You see that little Mason jaw?
00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:54.480
That's not one of ours that has real bed bugs.
00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:59.200
And he looks at it, he's like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:21:59.279 --> 00:21:59.759
I don't do that.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:01.599
No, no, no, no, no.
00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:04.960
I was like, Miguel, I believed you at the first no.
00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:10.559
So I'm like, homie, how can I help you?
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:12.480
What can we do to end this situation?
00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:14.559
He's like, I just need a mattress.
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:22.799
Now I'm not supposed to give away mattresses, but fun fact if you go anywhere with a mason jar full of bed bugs, you get your way.
00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:28.960
So I was like, listen, we're gonna get you a mattress.
00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:34.400
I was like, can I send my peer Miguel into the area to see what mattresses we have in stock?
00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:35.519
And he says, cool.
00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:47.119
Miguel goes over, and I'm hoping Miguel knows, besides figuring out, hey, let's get this guy a mattress, maybe start doing other stuff called cops, things of that nature that might be helpful.
00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:58.799
Miguel goes off and he looks at him, he looks at me, the guy turns to look at me, and he's looking at me, he's like, and I'm like, no shit, you know.
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:05.519
Now, I don't know if you've ever been mid robbery before.
00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:12.400
It's a difficult time to create small talk, you know, but I'm trying to, I gotta buy Miguel time, you know.
00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:19.119
Uh if you've been to furniture stores, they usually have like coffee and snack areas, and those are the things I'm trained to do.
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:20.000
I'm offering them.
00:23:20.079 --> 00:23:24.160
They sound silly as shit when someone's robbering you, you know, like, oh, you want some cookies?
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:28.079
You know, while we wait, we got ice cream, you know.
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:33.200
Miguel comes over after like five minutes of really awkwardness.
00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:42.319
Uh the customers have slowly like figured out they can't leave because anytime they like look over at us, he shakes the mason jar.
00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:48.559
So the customers at the counter are stuck, my cashiers are stuck, I'm stuck, and he's with us.
00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:53.440
Miguel comes over and he's like, hey, uh, we got a spare mattress, we're gonna load it into your truck.
00:23:53.680 --> 00:24:00.480
And I look around, I also notice that all the other customers in the store and the sales reps have slowly left the store calmly.
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:02.319
So Miguel has done his job.
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:07.920
Call over two warehouse guys, they they're they show him the mattress, he approves.
00:24:08.079 --> 00:24:09.359
I'm glad, you know.
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:11.599
We're like, hey, we're gonna load that up.
00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:17.279
And they start, they put it in the car, and as they start making their way towards the front of the store, two cops walked in.
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:18.960
Miguel had called them over.
00:24:19.680 --> 00:24:28.640
The cops come over, and I see, again, they're at the entranceway, I see them talk to my guys, the workers that are gonna load this mattress.
00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:33.680
They're holding a mattress, they're talking to the cops, and I can't hear it.
00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:38.160
But this is more or less what the body language told me was happening.
00:24:38.400 --> 00:24:40.160
Hey, uh, so what's the problem, sir?
00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:42.079
Are they being robbed by bed bugs?
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:44.079
They being robbed by bed bugs.
00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:47.440
And they say, You sure?
00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:51.759
And they're like, we're sure he's getting this mattress for free right now.
00:24:52.400 --> 00:24:56.079
Then they walk over to the front because they in disbelief too.
00:24:56.240 --> 00:24:57.839
They're like, hey, what's going on here?
00:24:58.240 --> 00:25:00.559
This guy here is robbing us of our bed bugs.
00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:04.240
I feel like Miguel gave you all of that information earlier.
00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:09.839
And he's and the cop looks at the dude and he's like, You need to leave.
00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:12.720
And the guy's like, Not without my mattress.
00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:16.960
And the cops looked at us like, so what you gonna do from here?
00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:26.799
Like, we ain't called them because it's escalated past the rule book of this furniture store.
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:33.680
And I tell you this, listen, I don't know where you are in your life, you know.
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:36.559
You guys got, you know, things gotta be going okay.
00:25:36.640 --> 00:25:38.480
You got money to buy tickets to a show.
00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:44.079
But if things change with there, you need to rob somebody, consider using a mason jar full of bed bugs.
00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:46.480
It is a highly effective weapon.
00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:50.079
I watched this man come into my store.
00:25:50.319 --> 00:25:54.240
You gotta, you gotta put yourself into his mind.
00:25:54.400 --> 00:25:56.559
Picture where he was earlier that day, you know.
00:25:56.640 --> 00:26:00.000
He was at home, tired as hell, itchy as shit.
00:26:01.920 --> 00:26:03.279
I got a real problem.
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:05.359
I need sleep, but I can't do it here.
00:26:05.519 --> 00:26:06.799
What can I do?
00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:09.920
He's got no money available to him.
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:16.880
Then he looked around his room and saw the tools available to him, and he put them to use.
00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:19.359
That's the American dream, you know?
00:26:21.599 --> 00:26:35.200
And I watched him get a mattress loaded into his truck by my staff with two police escorts and drive off.
00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:39.599
I asked the cops, like, yo, why ain't y'all arrest him, attack him?
00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:41.440
I was like, I don't know if you heard he had bed bugs.
00:26:41.519 --> 00:26:42.799
I was like, Yeah, I know.
00:26:43.759 --> 00:26:45.119
That's why y'all are here.
00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:47.839
He said, Well, we don't want to have bed bugs in the car.
00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:50.000
We don't want to have bed bugs anywhere.
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:51.359
We are in agreement.
00:26:51.599 --> 00:26:53.279
Bed bugs are a problem.
00:26:57.039 --> 00:27:00.000
So we go to the back, uh, we close the store.
00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:08.000
Everybody goes into the back room, we take off like our uniforms, our suits, and we get sprayed down with this like alcohol product.
00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:12.400
Uh and I drove home in boxes that day.
00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:22.640
And uh, you know, I leave every day I left for work in a full suit, tie, like I look sharp, you know, and I showed up in boxes.
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:24.880
So my wife had questions, you know.
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:32.079
You know, like what happened to you sold everything, honey.
00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:32.960
You know.
00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:39.680
And I looked at her, I was like, yeah, Shorty, uh, you know, things are going pretty good with comedy.
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:41.599
You know, I got some things lined up.
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:43.599
I've been on TV a couple times.
00:27:43.839 --> 00:27:50.079
Uh plus I got robbed today uh with bed bugs at the store.
00:27:50.799 --> 00:27:56.640
So I feel like we should talk about me maybe transitioning to doing comedy full time.
00:27:57.519 --> 00:27:59.279
She's like, you think this is the right time?
00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:09.200
I was like, I don't know, but I feel like the odds of me being robbed by bed bugs reduced significantly at comedy clubs.
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:10.640
You know?
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:18.160
So I've been chasing my dream ever since, holding TV shows hostage with a theoretical mason jaw in my hand ever since.
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:19.440
Thank you so much.
00:28:25.039 --> 00:28:28.480
If you like Gastor's story, and come on, how could you not?
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:39.279
Check out his podcast, The War Report, his stand-up special Immigrant Made, or live on stage hosting his show Sandwich Comedy in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
00:28:39.519 --> 00:28:47.680
And as luck would have it, Gastor will also be performing in our next mainstage show on Saturday, September 12th in Beacon, New York.
00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:52.480
You can grab tickets right now on our website, Artichokeshow.com.
00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:56.079
The Artichoke isn't just a curated storytelling show.
00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:59.680
We have a mission to help those in our community tell their own stories.
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:06.000
And so in the past few years, we've grown to include storytelling workshops and monthly Story Slam competitions.
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:18.720
In each episode, our podcast producer Carly Shiraki is going to highlight some of the amazing talent we have right here in the Hudson Valley, and I couldn't think of a better person to kick this off with than my pal Natalie Allen.
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:34.480
Natalie was not only in our very first artichoke storytelling workshop, but she won our very first artichoke story slam, and then went on to compete against 10 other Story Slam champs to win what we call our big story showdown in August of last year.
00:29:34.799 --> 00:29:38.160
Ladies and gentlemen, here's Natalie Allen.
00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:57.039
Were you to ask me as an adolescent if I could change anything about myself, I would have without hesitation told you that I would have taken my feet off and gotten new feet.
00:29:57.279 --> 00:29:58.960
I hated my feet.
00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:03.599
I had big feet, and it haunted me.
00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:08.720
From age eight to age 12, my foot size kept up with my age.
00:30:09.039 --> 00:30:12.880
Eight, nine, ten, eleven, what the fuck?
00:30:13.039 --> 00:30:13.759
Twelve.
00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:17.759
I fit nothing in the women's side of the shoe store.
00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:23.680
All of my friends are going to the prom and to parties with these cute Cinderella fucking shoes.
00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:28.240
And I am desperately trying to find loafers that don't look too man-ish.
00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:45.920
In the scene of Cinderella, when the guy goes to the evil stepsister's house looking for Cinderella with that tiny glass slipper, and the evil stepsisters are desperately trying to get their disgusting floppy feet into the shoe.
00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:48.559
I really identified with them.
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:51.519
I did, because like, am I evil?
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:59.680
Am I unlovable and disgusting, flipper-footed woman, totally bereft of any sex appeal?
00:30:59.920 --> 00:31:06.240
My dad used to sing this song, and he didn't mean anything by it, but it's one of those dumb things dads do.
00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:09.680
He'd go, your feet's too big, your feet's too big.
00:31:09.839 --> 00:31:13.200
You know I love you, honey, but your feet's too big.
00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:16.799
From ankle up, you're mighty sweet.
00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:20.559
From ankle down, you're too much feet.
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:28.319
I mean dads, right?
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:36.079
So it's it's 2005, I'm 18, I'm at university, and I'm really developing this sense of independence.
00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:46.720
I'm outside of the house, I'm a theater major at university, and I walk into my theater 101 class, and there's this very sweet, sandy-haired, hazel-eyed boy.
00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:51.519
He's tall, he's he's older, he's 21, so he's really got his shit together.
00:31:51.759 --> 00:31:58.880
He's he's a junior and he's a physics major, and I really like how he monologues at me about his physics class.
00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:00.160
It's sweet.
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:03.839
He's nerdy, and I feel very relaxed around him.
00:32:03.920 --> 00:32:07.759
And on our first date, he takes me out for a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:11.759
And I just feel like I could be myself around this guy.
00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:14.240
Except for that one thing.
00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:20.000
I I can't tell him how big my foot is because if I tell him how big my foot is, he's gonna find me unlovable.
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:25.759
So there's there's a little bit of a wall up, and we start hanging out a lot together.
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:28.160
He's suggesting we go on walks on the beach.
00:32:28.559 --> 00:32:31.039
And I'm like, yeah, I'll just keep my my shoes on.
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:32.799
I don't like sand between my toes.
00:32:33.119 --> 00:32:38.319
Oh, let's go through walks through this beautiful meadow and garden to take our shoes off and feel the earth.
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:42.640
Um yeah, I'll just keep my shoes on because I don't I don't like grass stains.
00:32:42.720 --> 00:32:43.920
I'm a city girl.
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:54.559
And and we're we're starting to to fall in love, and and I'm his first love and he's mine, and we have sex, but I keep my feet under the sheets.
00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:57.200
I do, I I I really do.
00:32:57.279 --> 00:32:58.720
I'm I'm very conscious of this.
00:32:58.799 --> 00:33:00.400
I don't want him to look at my feet.
00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:04.240
I'm wearing socks in the house, I'm not taking my shoes off.
00:33:04.799 --> 00:33:09.839
And there's this like growing unease I have of like, if he finds out, he'll leave me.
00:33:09.920 --> 00:33:13.759
And and I know it's silly, but it's truly what I was terrified of.
00:33:13.839 --> 00:33:24.319
And so, anyway, we're at we're at the point where the scars and the birthmarks and the ug start coming out in a relationship, and all relationships eventually get there.
00:33:24.799 --> 00:33:26.960
Or or not, maybe you should talk.
00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:31.759
Um so we're sitting in the we're sitting in the front seat of a 1988 cutlass.
00:33:31.839 --> 00:33:35.839
It's dark, it's spring 2006, and I'm finally gonna come clean.
00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:41.359
Um Walter, I say, I uh I fucking hate my feet.
00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:52.559
I I don't like showing my toes, I I don't like people looking at them, I just feel completely disgusted by them, and I I just want you to know.
00:33:53.279 --> 00:34:03.279
And he's silent, he's holding the the uh wheel of the car and he's looking out the windshield, and uh, and he's like, Okay, I'm gonna tell you something, but you you have to tell nobody.
00:34:03.359 --> 00:34:04.400
It's a big secret.
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:06.079
And I'm like, okay.
00:34:07.039 --> 00:34:08.239
He's gonna leave me.
00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:11.599
And uh he goes, I have a foot fetish.
00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:17.360
Like, you like feet?
00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:18.639
No, no, no.
00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:20.159
I love feet.
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:26.800
I want to have sex with feet, and I'm like, but my feet are gross and huge.
00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:29.519
And he's like, No, I love big feet.
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:31.760
Okay, now stick with me.
00:34:31.920 --> 00:34:33.280
We're gonna go on a montage.
00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:37.599
Hall of Notes is playing, and it's a montage in the next two and a half years, right?
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:47.039
And we're going to the shoe store and we're finding the largest open-toed sandals we can find, and I'm trying them on and walking down the aisle, and he's sitting there watching me.
00:34:47.199 --> 00:34:55.760
He's buying me pedicures, he's sweeping me up off of my feet so that I don't sully the bottoms as I walk from the car.
00:34:56.000 --> 00:34:59.280
Oh my god, he says, admiring my foot at night.
00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:02.400
The arch of your foot is so graceful and beautiful.
00:35:02.559 --> 00:35:04.480
Your toes are lovely.
00:35:04.880 --> 00:35:11.280
And I am suddenly transported into this whole new sense of self.
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:15.599
I've got a sex appeal where I didn't think there was one.
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:18.000
Ankle down, I'm not too much feet.
00:35:18.079 --> 00:35:19.920
I'm second pair of tits.
00:35:23.280 --> 00:35:33.280
Holy shit! I'm suddenly wearing open-toed sandals to picnics, sliding the shoes off and wiggling my toes in the grass.
00:35:33.599 --> 00:35:39.679
I feel empowered and sexy in a way I've never allowed myself to feel.
00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:44.079
Because I always thought there was a part of me that was ugly and unlovable.
00:35:44.320 --> 00:35:55.199
And this person who eventually broke up, we broke up over amicable things, but this person gave me the permission to truly love a part of myself that I didn't think I could.
00:35:55.440 --> 00:36:05.440
And anyway, I I wish it for everybody to meet a person who looks at the absolute worst part of you and says, I can't wait to fuck that.
00:36:08.079 --> 00:36:09.039
Thank you.
00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:25.840
Not only is that an incredible story from Natalie, that is a slam-winning story from one of the Artichoke Story Slams at Norma's in Waffinger Falls.
00:36:26.239 --> 00:36:27.760
Carly Shiraki here.
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:32.719
I am a friend and fan of the Artichoke, and I'm also producing this podcast.
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:41.360
And I'm gonna be popping in from time to time, sharing little snapshots from conversations I'm having with the students that we're featuring in every episode.
00:36:41.599 --> 00:36:47.679
So here's Natalie sharing a little bit about moving to Beacon in 2020 and discovering the artichoke.
00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:53.840
When we came up, I was desperate to meet people and make community like we all are.
00:36:54.159 --> 00:36:58.320
And I saw signs up for the artichoke.
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:10.400
And prior to moving up here, I had seen the moth, I had gone to shows, I knew of it, and it was like it was this little egg of a dream I was harboring where I was like, oh, maybe I'll get up there and do it one day.
00:37:10.559 --> 00:37:12.320
But like I hate homework.
00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:14.559
Just as a rule, I've always hated homework.
00:37:14.639 --> 00:37:18.880
I'm really good at bullshitting, I'm really good at making things up, hence why I do improv.
00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:27.360
And so I'd always shied away from doing storytelling because I thought I had to memorize like a you know five-minute monologue, and so I was like, yeah, this isn't gonna work.
00:37:27.519 --> 00:37:30.480
But I saw the signs up here and I was like, I'm gonna do that one day.
00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:32.480
And I was like way too intimidated.
00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:47.440
I went to an artichoke show and like I remember Drew introducing each person getting up, and it was like, so and so, what a Nobel Peace Prize, and has worked in Africa saving babies, and such and such has got a poet laureate.
00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:59.599
Well, as luck and life would have it, through a series of synchronous email referrals, Natalie ended up on an artichoke mainstage show with a few other newbies, everyone flexing their muscle for the first time.
00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:07.039
Now, with a few mainstage and class shows under her belt, I'd venture to say she is a seasoned storyteller.
00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:13.679
I asked her to drop us a little deeper into the experience of telling the story that we all just heard.
00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:32.800
I had one of those moments where, like, maybe two or three minutes into the story, I suddenly like clicked into I don't know what you want to call it, the universe, the collective consciousness, the zone, that higher place our brain goes to when the vibrations like get higher in pitch.
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:39.360
You know, if I'm getting like really woo-woo and spiritual, like my fucking, like, I got into it and and I was riding the wave.
00:38:39.440 --> 00:38:44.719
And so I blacked out, like, I don't have a memory of tell of like actually telling the story.
00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:51.599
When I had told the story previously, like in my bedroom and whatnot, like I was kind of like, man, I'm not getting emotional through this.
00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:55.119
Like, it doesn't feel like there's any real emotional vulnerability that I can show.
00:38:55.199 --> 00:39:05.360
I'm a little worried that it's just gonna be me kind of giving bullet points about this thing that happened until I got up there and then suddenly like I got really emotional.
00:39:05.679 --> 00:39:06.559
Yeah, you did.
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:09.360
Yeah, it really took me off guard.
00:39:09.599 --> 00:39:09.840
Wow.
00:39:10.079 --> 00:39:14.079
And totally just like in flow state, riding the wave, total presence.
00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:15.760
Do you ever get like that?
00:39:16.239 --> 00:39:17.360
Yeah, for sure.
00:39:17.519 --> 00:39:18.000
For sure.
00:39:18.159 --> 00:39:22.639
I can feel when I have an audience and when we're vibing.
00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:23.119
Yeah.
00:39:23.440 --> 00:39:33.199
And then I and then once I feel that it changes the way I tell the rest of the story because I like I add a little more vibrance or I pause to be with them.
00:39:33.519 --> 00:39:39.519
Um thank you so much for chatting with us here at the Artichoke Podcast.
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:41.679
Carly, my pleasure, my dear.
00:39:41.920 --> 00:39:43.119
My pleasure.
00:39:44.239 --> 00:39:53.920
If you are interested in competing in one of our monthly Story Slams, they take place every fourth Thursday of the month at a fabulous cafe called Norma's in Wappinger's Falls.
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Or if the idea of getting on stage in front of strangers and burying your soul just scares the bejesus out of you, our next storytelling workshop begins October 20th in Beacon, New York.
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That's our show, people.
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If you've had a good time, please, please, please hit the subscribe button.
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It would make us so happy.
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And before we go, I'd like to quickly thank our podcast producer, Carly Shiraki, our graphic designer Adam Selpst, all the wonderful storytellers in this episode, the staffs of Norma's and the Howland Cultural Center, and our incredibly supportive audience who've stuck with us over the years.
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We'll see y'all soon.
