66 | Dealing With Comparisonitis and Shame Attacks (with Val Nelson)

Have you ever been derailed by a shame attack?

Shame can sweep through, telling us we are not worthy, acceptable, or enough. It can be amplified by comparisonitis, where we judge our messy insides with our perception of other peoples’ shiny exteriors.

Val Nelson, a career and business coach, specialises in working with highly sensitive and introverted individuals. She wrote this article about dealing with comparisonitis and shame attacks, which I was excited to dive into with her.

Many people have felt like black swans in a world that often fails to provide the right conditions for HSPs to thrive. While shame is not exclusive to quiet and gentle souls, it can be particularly challenging for those who have learned to view their natural needs and preferences as a problem to hide, dismiss, or overcome.

So I invited Val onto The Gentle Rebel Podcast to explore how shame can cause us to shrink back and hide from their dreams, ambitions, and needs. I wanted to explore the words “comparisonitis” and “comparonoia,” which can leave us feeling isolated and alone as we look at the world around us and tell ourselves unsupportive stories.

• The nature of shame attacks and the signs of one appearing
• How humour and playfulness are one of our most significant resources
• Why it’s so hard to give ourselves what we need in the face of shame (even when we know what we ought to do)
• Personal experiences of shame attacks Val and I have been through recently
• How to listen to the message beneath the noise when we feel like things are not going to plan
• What it means to take ourselves less seriously (without undermining the integrity of our work)

What are you taking away from this episode? Have you experienced a shame attack? I’d love to hear from you in the comments, via a message, or through social media.

Val’s website

Connect with Val on Linkedin

Would you like to strengthen your defences in the face of bubbling shame attacks and “comparanoia”? If so, I would love to help you develop a strategy to use through a Pick The Lock call.

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