Biblical Masculinity with Jennifer Jehl

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Purposely, your life, God's purpose. More podcasts at Purposely.com.
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What Jesus calls us to, calls men to be is
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something that I like to use as the word meekness. Meekness,
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it's not weakness. It's incredible strength. It's incredible emotional intelligence.
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It's self-control. It's kindness. It's compassion. It's boundaries and standards.
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When a man truly embodies those things, the people around him,
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the children, the his wife, like.
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They just flourish. Hey friend, I'm so glad you're here.
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This is the all mom does podcast, part of the
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purposely podcast network.
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And we are here to help equip you, encourage you,
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challenge you, and all the things that are going on
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in your life from kids to work, to marriage, to faith,
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all of it.
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We are in the last.
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Few episodes of season nine before we roll into season 10.
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And I've got to tell you, this has been one
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of my favorite seasons. We have had some of the
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most interesting, fascinating people on. I have personally learned so much.
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I hope that you have too. And today, oh, this
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is gonna be a good one. I already know I
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got to have the honor of being on this person's
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show on LinkedIn, her live stream, which is really fascinating.
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She is in the top 1% of LinkedIn creators. And
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when we unpack The topic that she is known for,
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the expertise that she has, you are going to be
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leaning in. I can promise you that. So I would
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love to welcome to the show today, Jennifer Yale. Jen,
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thanks so much for being with me.
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Thanks so much for having me, Julie.
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I really appreciate it. I loved having you on my
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show as well. I think so many people got a
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lot out of what you were saying, your experiences as
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a mom, as, you know, in corporate world, everything was
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so beneficial to my viewers.
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So thank you for that. Oh, absolutely.
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I had an absolute ball and your community could not
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be more welcoming and they were just, it was exceptional.
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What a, what a fantastic experience. So thanks for having me.
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Well, Hey, tell the audience who you are, where you live,
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the kids, the pets, the season of life, all the things.
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Well, I'm Jennifer.
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So I, First of all, I'm a biblical masculinity coach,
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and that's my mission in life is to kind of
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bring back order and inspire men and families and women,
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of course, also, but inspire men, especially to live in
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the way that God designed them to be, especially as
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head of the household and really embodying the characteristics of
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Jesus in every single thing that they do and running
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their homes and leading their wives accordingly as he taught
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us to do.
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So that is my number one mission. I am a
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mom of three.
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I have a 19-year-old girl, 17-year-old girl, and a 12-year-old
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special needs little boy. They are definitely the lights of
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my life. And I also am stepping into a new
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venture here soon in Austin as the president of C-Suite
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for Christ, which is a company that is designed to
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spread the world in Christ and inspire people to be
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bold in the workplace, in their businesses, in speaking about Christ.
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So that's what I have going on. That's so exciting. Yeah.
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I love that.
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And I'm excited to get you down here to Austin
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as soon as possible. So that will be a lot
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of fun. Well, I am so fascinated by the work
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you do. And when I had the opportunity to meet
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your online community, because We have been through a season,
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and I think it's one that has been deeply needed,
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where we have had a lot of focus, particularly in
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the faith vertical, on helping women say, hey.
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We see you.
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We know there's a lot of invisible labor. We know
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there are times that you are probably being taken for
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granted or you aren't being seen, that you need to
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be heard. And we've spent a lot of time in
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women's spaces making sure that we are infusing in women
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the The incredible message that Jesus has for all of us,
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that we are of great worth, that we are precious
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to him, that we have a role to play, that
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he has a purpose for us in each of our lives,
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even in those long days where it feels like all
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we're getting done is the laundry so that more laundry
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can be produced, so that more laundry.
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Can be done.
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So we've lived there and I get that. And there
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are any number of books and podcasts like this one
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and on and on that have to do with encouraging women.
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And so when I also.
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Was thinking about that part of that, to some degree,
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has been calling men to account, sometimes talking about the
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bad players that we experience. And I know certainly for
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myself as an eldest daughter, an older sister of two brothers,
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I don't have any sisters. And then as a mom
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of three sons, as a wife to Mike, you know what?
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I was starting to get a little weary sometimes. of
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a lot of the elbow to the gut that a
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lot of men were experiencing as we were trying to
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encourage women.
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There was a lot that was being said against men.
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Now here's where you fascinate me, Jennifer. I mean, on
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a lot of scales, but from a ministry business perspective,
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you took an incredible pivot. And while a lot of
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us were talking directly to women, you came around the
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curve and said, Let's talk to some of these guys.
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Let's encourage these guys. Let's equip these guys. Let's give
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these guys some tools. So what was that path that
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that audience became the one that you began to focus
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on serving? Because that in many ways kind of feels
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counterintuitive in the culture we've been in, in this cultural moment.
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It sure does.
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And, you know, kind of in a general overview, kind
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of based on what you said, let's take feminism, for example, um,
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don't worry, I'm not going to get political, but feminism
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had the right idea, right? Like to inspire women, to
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empower them, to be, you know, noticed in, like you said,
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seen and heard.
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And that was great.
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But somewhere along the way, it did fail in the
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fact that it started like emasculating men, uh, breaking down
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the family and all of these things that we see today. Um,
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I am all for women being very bold and seen
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and powerful creatures because we are, and we have so
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much to give and we have so many people to
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nurture and, you know, bring life into their life. Um,
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but men, so I have, I label myself as a
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past toxic people pleaser. And what that looked like is
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both in business and in personal relationships, I would get
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myself into very bad situations.
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Um, I just wanted to appease everybody. I couldn't say no.
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Um, I therefore got into very abusive relationships. Um, and
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so I could have easily become one of those people
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who doesn't like men, who hates men, who wants nothing
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to do with men. Um, and instead I kind of,
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as I got into my journey and especially my faith journey,
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I've always been a lover of Christ. but he has
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not always been my Lord. He's always been my savior,
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not my Lord. And as I got into that part
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of the mission and read the word, and I actually
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understood like, wait a second, if men are leading the
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right way, that expands a woman's world. That is so
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protective of the woman. Like Jesus designed this so beautifully
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headship of a man, Submission of a wife to her husband.
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That is a beautiful thing because he is guiding her
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to the right places because his authority is in, is Jesus,
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you know?
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So he's following Jesus. She follows him and she can't
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go wrong.
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That's the true design of what that is supposed to
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look like. And so if you think about all these
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men who have been emasculated, I mean, think about it.
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Like men are afraid to open doors for women anymore.
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Like something as simple as that, because it's, Who knows
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what she's going to say to him? And so I
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think in turn, that has led men to become very passive.
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You know, you hear things like toxic masculinity, which I
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don't believe as a term that it actually exists because
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there are people who are toxic and there are people
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who are not toxic. But if you do think about
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that term, there are two extremes there. You know, you
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have your alpha male kind of cocky guy that you
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think about.
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Or you have, you're very passive and both are very bad.
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What Jesus calls us to, calls men to be is
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something that I like to use as the word meekness.
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Meekness. It's not weakness.
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It's incredible strength. It's incredible emotional intelligence. It is the
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capacity of all kinds of things that you keep inside.
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It's self-control. It's kindness. It's compassion. It's boundaries and standards.
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And when a man truly embodies those things, the people
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around him, the children, his wife, like they just flourish
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and getting people to understand that design is really important
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to me.
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When you first launched into talking about this, into developing
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your channel on LinkedIn, when you started having people on
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and doing a live stream and on and on and on,
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What was some of the initial reception? Because again, you know,
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we're in a period of time in which we have
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such extremes in the ways in which we view relationships
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between men and women and what women can do and
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can't do. And if a man says this and all
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of those phrases that you just used, you know, the toxic, this,
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the toxic, that on and on and on, everybody pointing
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fingers at each other. So what was the initial reception
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and what did it surprise you that you found that
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there was this audience who was hungry to understand more
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of what you were talking about.
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It did. You know, initially I was really.
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So I'm also, despite being a toxic people pleaser, recovering,
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I am a very shy person. I'm an introvert as well.
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And so being so bold in those initial ways in
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which I created content, the questions that I posed, the
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things I was talking about, that was very scary.
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And I am also... I'm not so much anymore.
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Cause I, I take, I take it a different way now,
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but I was very sensitive at the beginning. And so, yeah,
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of course I got all kinds of messages that were
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full of the obvious questions. Like how could a woman
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ever inspire or teach a man to be masculine, which
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is not what I do. I, I give the tools,
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I give the perspective, I go on biblical principle, but
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those were the questions I was receiving. Um, you know,
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and then of course, from women, it's like, how could
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you ever say anything like this? Like, why would you
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dumb yourself down and devalue yourself? That's not what I'm
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doing at all.
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You know?
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So I did deal with, and I still deal with
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those questions at times, but I think we are coming
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to a point in culture where maybe all of this
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stuff is turning around for a bit. And I mean,
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I think we're seeing it in young people, especially, and
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maybe you see this too, like like the 18 to
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25 year old crowd, like they're very Christian.
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They're very opposed to like.
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Even things like sex before marriage and, um, drinking, like
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it's a new kind of generation. And I think, you know,
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I think it could be a really beautiful thing. Um,
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and so I, I just think it's being, I think
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it's more accepted now than it was at the beginning.
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Right.
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Right. So you're finding even more resonance now than you
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were maybe when you first started. I do find it
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fascinating as a mom of three sons, obviously as a wife,
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I get why a lot of guys are stymied right
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now as to what to do. And my youngest son
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has started dating and he's just, he's an absolute sweetheart.
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Of a guy.
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The thing that is fascinating to me is how floored
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some of the young women he's beginning to take on dates,
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how floored they are that he plans dates, that he
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meets someone and he says, hey, why don't we go
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do this? And he absolutely wants their ideas and their input.
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This is not him saying, we're going to go do
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this and we're going to do that. My husband and
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I have laughed. We're like, the world is.
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Your oyster kid because he is truly one of the
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most gentle, kind, never throw himself out there kind of guys.
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But even him simply saying, I would love to take
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you for a cup of coffee is sort of like
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revelatory right.
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Now amongst a lot of his peers.
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The fact he's willing to do that, the fact he's
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willing to go sit across a table face-to-face with someone
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to get to know them better. Tell me a little
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bit about where we're at when it comes to young
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men today, not necessarily in marriage already, but in those
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places where they are trying to figure out how to navigate,
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do I open the door?
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Do I not?
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In a culture that has not been dating and exploring
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and getting to know people at a deeper level before
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all kinds of other activities happen. So talk to me
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about what you're seeing. Give me the landscape of where
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we are today.
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Well, I think, you know, I think that's wonderful that
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your son is, is taking the initiative to be that, like,
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I would consider that like leading that's like healthy leadership
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of potential relationships.
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And I think women are, you know, as much as women.
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Want to be hyper independent and not need anybody, I
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think by design also, we were designed to, um, be
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attracted to things like that. We want to the person that,
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that we end up being with, like, we want to
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be able to see him as a leader. Why would
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you not want to see him as a leader? Um,
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so I think the younger generation, is handling that better
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than our generation did, which is sad to say, you know,
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you still see people in our generation who are, you know, 45,
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50 years old and never been married, never had kids,
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and they don't want any part of that really. And
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maybe that's, you know, the way culture has taught them
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that to be, you know, I can't remember the statistic.
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But I.
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Think like, I think women are more in danger right
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now than men. Men seem to be getting back on
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track with God's design. I think women are still really
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fighting that. And relationships seem to be, in all the generations,
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more like a who can win? Are you a risk
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to me? Women especially see men as a risk. How
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risky is this person if I choose to be with him?
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And that's a scary thing, I think, because that's not
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what a relationship is supposed to be. We're supposed to
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bring our pieces. They were supposed to bring their pieces. And,
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you know, I'm not sure if that answers your question exactly,
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but I think the young men I'm seeing in today's
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world really give me a lot of hope and they
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didn't have great teachers.
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So there's something cool there.
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You think that you are in the final round of
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getting all this parenting done. You've got kids who are
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in high school. You're starting to think about college and
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you're thinking, this is it. I'm Julie Liles Carr. I
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am a podcaster and I'm a mom of eight. And
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here's what I want you to know about. George Fox University,
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it's a different way of doing college.
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Why? Because yes, it's all about.
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Getting a fantastic degree to set your kid up for
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their future.
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They have 60.
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Undergrad programs available at George Fox University.
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But that's not where the story ends. It's also about
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equipping them spiritually.
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If you get out of college with a degree, but
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you don't have a closer relationship with God, that obviously
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is going to deeply impact what your young adult life
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looks like. So for your kiddos, I want you to
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consider what would it mean for your child to be
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able to go to George Fox University where 93% of
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George Fox students say they now have a closer relationship
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with Jesus.
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George Fox University is located in the Pacific Northwest in Oregon.
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They have 23 Division III athletic programs, and 100% of
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students at George Fox University receive financial aid. George Fox
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University is dedicated to their promise. They want every student
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to be known for who God created them to be.
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So listen, parents, yeah, you are getting into some of
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those final laps, but you definitely want to make these
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last laps count in a big way when it comes
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to the legacy of your parenting. So be sure and
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check out for your student, georgefox.edu.
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That's georgefox.edu.
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I love this idea of talking about leadership, those leader qualities,
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because I know that in my marriage, Mike very much
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accepts that I'm a leader and I have leadership qualities.
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And I certainly appreciate and admire his leadership and his
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leadership qualities. We lead and experience leadership in different ways.
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I have worked for a lot of my career in
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very male-dominated industries, which has been very interesting. And my
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leadership capacity and how I handled that definitely was something
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that I had to learn to tweak through the years.
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There were things that I would try to come in
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and be just like the guys and then learn that
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that wasn't exactly the best use of my gifts and
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falling into some of those traps, honestly, of not being, hey.
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I'm not.
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A guy, I'm female, and I have a whole other
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world of things that I can bring to the table.
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So this idea that a woman, I wonder sometimes if
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what we've done in the equation, if what has gotten
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things so challenged is that we sometimes feel like a
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woman can only express leadership qualities if a man is
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squashing his to some degree, or if he's not showing
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up in that way, if that's the only way that
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the lane is clear for a woman to be able
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to run forward with the things that God has put
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on her heart and the mission that God has for her.
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But I love that you said, you know, don't you
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want to be with a man who has leadership qualities?
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And I have to tell you that in some of
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the times that I've spent listening to someone's story and
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trying to help in letting them process and vent and
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whatever they've needed to do, One of the predominant frustrations
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that I hear today is not, I feel restricted by
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the men in my life.
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No, Jennifer, what I'm.
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Hearing is my husband, my partner, the guy I'm dating, whatever,
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he's so passive.
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He doesn't do anything. And I have to say that's
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a switch.
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When I was younger, I knew women who felt very
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suffocated in models of leadership that were not godly, models
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of leadership that were not Christ-like.
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That whole conversation.
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By, I mean, I'm trying to even remember, Jennifer, the
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last time I had a conversation with someone who said,
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I'm feeling oppressed by a guy.
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Yeah, I don't hear that at all. I'm hearing way more.
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They don't, I'm doing everything. They're not doing anything.
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You know, if there's going to be a date night
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or a project completed or something handled or somebody showing
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up with the emotional energy, it's going to be on me,
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the woman.
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So that's interesting that you're seeing the same thing.
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Yeah, I mean, and to take it one step further,
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I think, And I think you could agree with this
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because you guys go to church, you see, you've been
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in the ministry. I mean, like, I think women have
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become the spiritual leaders of their households too.
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And that's not right.
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And so, yeah, I think so many of my clients,
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for instance, are that passive husband. And they realize, you know,
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20 years into their marriage, like, how did this happen?
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How did I surrender any leadership that I had? And
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now like, I can't get it back.
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And there are ways to get it back, but it
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takes a lot of consistency and a lot of like
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modeling and a lot of, you know, you can't just
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go to your wife and be like, Hey, I'm the leader.
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Like you need to listen to me. And that's not
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what a leader is supposed to be anyway. Men are lost.
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And I think, again, that's.
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One of the disadvantages that the culture has led us
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to is women are masculine. women are hyper independent. We
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are defensive. We don't want anybody to have the final say.
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We don't want to be backed up into a corner.
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We don't want to feel like we are oppressed. And
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so we take it to the extreme and we are
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almost like as a, as a gender, I would say
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we've become pretty offensive people.
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And, um, that's, and we're exhausted. We're exhausted.
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And even if we don't admit it, I would say
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we're exhausted.
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And so, um, I think there's an element of, you.
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Know, when this happens in a marriage, a woman actually
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has to go back. And, you know, if she's a
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Christian woman, of course, like, look at what God said. Like,
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why would you want to live not according to his design,
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not according.
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To the person who actually created you?
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Like we are, if he created us to be this
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and this, we should probably follow that because that's going
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to be most aligned. And that's where we're going to
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feel like we are aiming for the right thing. It's
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just that letting those walls down and surrendering each piece,
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like men have to surrender a certain thing. Women have
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to surrender a certain thing. And if you are living
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truly to his word and his truth and how marriage
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is designed, like I think both parties benefit so greatly. Like,
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you know, I, I, I said, I've been in very
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abusive relationships, controlling relationships.
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I'm not being a victim. I chose those things, fair
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and square.
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But the relationship I'm in now, and we are heading
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towards marriage. The way he leads me is just like
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Jesus designed it to be. His literal goal is to
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expand my universe. He doesn't want me to be small.
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He wants me to be a expand exponentially every single day.
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And that's what Christ wants. Like that's what Christ wants
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for us. So I think, you know, at the end
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of the day, finding your identity in Christ and living
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in the way he designed, surrendering those parts that those
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fleshly parts of you that just want to win and
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be the person who like, that's just not going to
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be sustainable. And in the long run, I don't think, um,
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men being men in the right way and women being
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women is the right way. And surrendering to your husband
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is not like the Proverbs 31 woman was a boss.
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Like she was entrepreneurial. She was, yeah, she was a
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nurturer and a lover and all of these great things,
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but she was also like, she knew how to handle money.
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She, you know, her husband was known at the gates
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because of her.
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Like she was a great powerful woman, the Proverbs 31 woman.
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So that's what we're supposed to be. We're not supposed
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to be oppressed in any way, but we also have
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to give men their place. And I think that's really important.
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We do have such a fractured understanding of womanhood. And
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there have been further conversations. There are a couple of novels.
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And things that are out right now.
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There's all this stuff going around about trad wife on
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and on. I'm not even going to begin to unpack
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any of that. I have no desire to get in
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that pool and Slug that out. But what I think
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we really do see highlighted again is how fractured our
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understanding is. We have incredibly strong, amazing women leading and
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doing all kinds of things across scripture. And unfortunately, we
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have boiled all that down in some of the conversation
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and lost a lot of what is factual in God's
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word about women. I think that one thing I would
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just love to hear you try to just unpack for
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us in a sense, and I'm going to ask you
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to do something that's going to make you like flip
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the guitar. If you've been playing with this hand, we're
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going to flip and see if you can go the
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other direction.
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So get ready.
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00:25:36.079 --> 00:25:40.039
But because this audience is primarily women, and because as
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you and I have shared, we have women saying, I
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don't know what to do.
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My guy is so passive.
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And to your point, If all these things, if all
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this fighting had led to women who felt more rested,
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more directed, that doors were opening for them, on and
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on and on, then maybe the argument would stand. But
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what we're seeing now is women who say they are
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more exhausted than ever, more burnt out than ever, and
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00:26:02.500 --> 00:26:07.640
guys who are more disengaged than ever. So clearly something,
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even though some really good, honest, hard conversations were had,
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we didn't arrive.
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at really what a solution was.
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So for that woman who's saying, I'm listening to y'all,
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but I got to tell you, the guy in my life,
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the guy I'm committed to, the guy I'm in covenant with,
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the guy I'm, you know, we have this marriage and
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we have these kids and we're trying to make it work,
486
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but he will not do anything. Well, we're asking a
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woman in a weird way to take a step back
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to let him bloom, but at the same time, try
489
00:26:36.539 --> 00:26:37.259
to activate him.
490
00:26:37.900 --> 00:26:40.099
So we're asking all those two different things. So I
491
00:26:40.140 --> 00:26:41.059
want to hear you.
492
00:26:41.180 --> 00:26:43.539
I know you primarily are speaking in to guys in
493
00:26:43.579 --> 00:26:47.190
your professional lane. Can you speak to women who are
494
00:26:47.250 --> 00:26:50.490
in that situation who are saying, I hear you. I
495
00:26:51.069 --> 00:26:54.210
really want to be in partnership. I want someone who's
496
00:26:54.250 --> 00:26:58.150
leading well. I want someone who's following Christ well. And
497
00:26:58.190 --> 00:27:01.559
this is just not happening. What is her next step?
498
00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:04.039
Yeah.
499
00:27:04.200 --> 00:27:09.059
So I think one thing is to try to point
500
00:27:09.099 --> 00:27:11.380
her husband to the word so he can figure things
501
00:27:11.460 --> 00:27:12.019
out on his own.
502
00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:15.019
I think lots of conversations need to be had.
503
00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:18.640
And these kinds of conversations, I think, you know, people
504
00:27:18.680 --> 00:27:24.829
find awkward and, um, uncomfortable, but I think they're good conversations.
505
00:27:25.809 --> 00:27:28.609
You know, one of the things I like to do
506
00:27:28.630 --> 00:27:32.990
with my clients is encourage them to have weekly, like
507
00:27:33.809 --> 00:27:35.069
meetings with their wife.
508
00:27:35.849 --> 00:27:37.369
Like, how can I serve you better?
509
00:27:37.390 --> 00:27:41.829
How can I, you know, What have I experienced that
510
00:27:41.849 --> 00:27:44.529
could have gone better this week? You know, like those
511
00:27:44.569 --> 00:27:47.190
kinds of questions are really, really good. Some of the time,
512
00:27:47.210 --> 00:27:50.789
the conversations are just not being had. And like, if
513
00:27:50.829 --> 00:27:56.549
you have unverbalized expectations, those are going to cause resentment.
514
00:27:56.569 --> 00:28:00.809
Maybe the husband doesn't even know what he wants, what
515
00:28:01.049 --> 00:28:05.410
you want from him, you know? So I think conversations, honest,
516
00:28:05.490 --> 00:28:09.579
respectful conversations, not nagging conversations are I think that's a
517
00:28:09.599 --> 00:28:11.880
really good place to start. But also I think if
518
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:16.180
you speak to how men like to feel love, men
519
00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:19.319
don't like to feel love like we do. They like
520
00:28:19.380 --> 00:28:25.980
to feel respect. And if you start and that's biblical.
521
00:28:26.339 --> 00:28:30.000
And if you start to perhaps question, you know, are,
522
00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:34.279
am I really respecting him and encouraging him to make
523
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:37.710
these choices for our family? to have the right conversations
524
00:28:37.750 --> 00:28:41.690
with me to be able to lead me and the kids. Like,
525
00:28:41.789 --> 00:28:46.789
am I actually stepping back and respecting him and encouraging
526
00:28:46.849 --> 00:28:52.730
him and being his support beam, but not overtaking the conversation?
527
00:28:52.750 --> 00:28:57.609
Because I think sometimes even when we want him to
528
00:28:57.670 --> 00:29:01.799
take that lead back, we do find ourselves overtaking the
529
00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:05.779
conversation still kind of like how At least I think
530
00:29:05.799 --> 00:29:08.440
of this with my own kid, maybe like when you're
531
00:29:08.460 --> 00:29:11.259
teaching your kid to tie a shoe, you know, you
532
00:29:11.299 --> 00:29:13.740
want him to tie his shoe, but then if it's
533
00:29:13.799 --> 00:29:15.599
taking a little bit too long, okay, I'll just do
534
00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:17.700
it for you. Like, I think as women, we tend
535
00:29:17.720 --> 00:29:22.019
to do that sometimes and, you know, just really taking
536
00:29:22.059 --> 00:29:24.640
a step back and respecting him because once, when he
537
00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:27.539
feels respected, he's going to do more and more and
538
00:29:27.579 --> 00:29:30.500
more of the things that you want him to do.
539
00:29:31.079 --> 00:29:33.660
when he doesn't feel respected, he's going to crawl into
540
00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:35.450
a hole and be passive because he doesn't want to
541
00:29:35.490 --> 00:29:37.710
deal with it or he doesn't know how to. And
542
00:29:38.910 --> 00:29:40.900
so I think those are some of the things I
543
00:29:40.940 --> 00:29:41.940
would suggest initially.
544
00:29:41.960 --> 00:29:43.640
Yeah.
545
00:29:43.819 --> 00:29:47.000
I'm curious too to hear why you chose to start
546
00:29:47.059 --> 00:29:49.529
out on this ministry on LinkedIn. I think this is
547
00:29:49.549 --> 00:29:52.569
a really interesting facet to what you do because so
548
00:29:52.589 --> 00:29:55.769
many people launch immediately into wanting to serve and they
549
00:29:55.809 --> 00:29:57.809
have a message and they have a heartbeat for something
550
00:29:57.829 --> 00:30:00.559
that's really important. And a lot of people jump first
551
00:30:00.650 --> 00:30:02.859
to more of a traditional podcast space, or they're going
552
00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:04.640
to write a book or they're going to be on
553
00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:07.720
social platforms, whatever. And yet you've built a whole community
554
00:30:07.779 --> 00:30:09.960
on LinkedIn. I would love to hear more about that process,
555
00:30:10.019 --> 00:30:13.180
that decision tree that you made there. Yeah.
556
00:30:13.220 --> 00:30:15.940
So, you know, it wasn't something that like, so first
557
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:20.220
of all, biblical masculinity as my, my mission wasn't something
558
00:30:20.259 --> 00:30:22.940
I set out to do like, Hmm, I think I'm
559
00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:25.299
going to be this, you know, it wasn't really like that.
560
00:30:25.420 --> 00:30:28.299
You know, it was a progression of, It was God
561
00:30:28.359 --> 00:30:32.839
calling me through each little step. Um, and cause initially
562
00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:34.980
I wanted to be a coach for women, actually women
563
00:30:35.019 --> 00:30:38.119
who were toxic people pleasers who were high functioning, wanted
564
00:30:38.140 --> 00:30:40.579
to get out of certain situations and stop appeasing people.
565
00:30:40.660 --> 00:30:43.720
And like, how do we get there? But it didn't work.
566
00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:46.920
And God kept calling me into further things that I
567
00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:49.210
moved down the line into what I'm doing now. Um,
568
00:30:50.289 --> 00:30:53.089
so I would say I started talking about masculinity back
569
00:30:53.230 --> 00:30:58.000
in 2022, really That was when I really started and
570
00:30:59.079 --> 00:31:01.539
I didn't intend for LinkedIn to be a big thing
571
00:31:01.599 --> 00:31:04.799
for me. I just started posting on LinkedIn, whatever I
572
00:31:04.839 --> 00:31:08.619
posted on Instagram and on LinkedIn, it just somehow, it
573
00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:12.019
just hit and it resonated with so many.
574
00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:14.069
People, whether good or bad.
575
00:31:14.089 --> 00:31:19.930
And I slowly just built up this following to what
576
00:31:19.990 --> 00:31:25.289
is now 150,000 people. And it wasn't something I intended
577
00:31:25.509 --> 00:31:31.329
to do. I just started being really vulnerable, speaking boldly,
578
00:31:32.170 --> 00:31:35.589
and it worked. And it's something that I believe in.
579
00:31:35.630 --> 00:31:39.710
And I think when you're speaking authentically about things that
580
00:31:39.750 --> 00:31:43.029
you actually believe in, and you're not afraid to be transparent,
581
00:31:43.839 --> 00:31:47.660
take accountability for your mistakes, what led you here, what
582
00:31:47.700 --> 00:31:50.599
led me to start this in the first place was my.
583
00:31:51.319 --> 00:31:52.880
Series of mistakes.
584
00:31:53.690 --> 00:31:57.509
And so I think people really appreciate that whether it's,
585
00:31:57.869 --> 00:32:01.549
you're talking about cooking or you're talking about theology, you know?
586
00:32:01.569 --> 00:32:02.109
Yeah.
587
00:32:02.769 --> 00:32:08.259
So, um, I think LinkedIn has turned into a place
588
00:32:09.579 --> 00:32:12.099
where people can really speak about things. I mean, it
589
00:32:12.420 --> 00:32:15.960
is full of Christ, which it didn't used to be
590
00:32:16.140 --> 00:32:19.579
like people would be super annoyed if you ever brought
591
00:32:19.640 --> 00:32:24.269
up God on LinkedIn and anything other than strictly.
592
00:32:23.930 --> 00:32:25.549
Business related things.
593
00:32:25.630 --> 00:32:25.910
Right.
594
00:32:26.250 --> 00:32:28.049
And now it's just not the same.
595
00:32:28.089 --> 00:32:29.470
Like, I don't know if your feet is the same,
596
00:32:29.509 --> 00:32:32.819
but my feet is just like, God, God, God, God, God,
597
00:32:34.059 --> 00:32:37.859
or like really empowering, like business perspectives or about family.
598
00:32:37.880 --> 00:32:41.579
It's just different now. And I think it's really wonderful. Well, Jennifer,
599
00:32:41.619 --> 00:32:42.119
I want you.
600
00:32:42.059 --> 00:32:46.289
To leave us with how you today with all the
601
00:32:46.329 --> 00:32:48.809
work you've done now with the different people that you
602
00:32:48.890 --> 00:32:52.009
have helped coach and given them tools and all the
603
00:32:52.049 --> 00:32:54.670
things to walk in masculinity in a culture that is,
604
00:32:55.170 --> 00:32:58.950
is really grappling with what that means and how we
605
00:32:58.990 --> 00:33:01.930
can all honor each other in the way that God intended.
606
00:33:02.589 --> 00:33:09.269
What today is your definition of what true, healthy, vibrant
607
00:33:09.450 --> 00:33:10.910
masculinity looks like?
608
00:33:10.930 --> 00:33:11.170
Yeah.
609
00:33:11.230 --> 00:33:14.109
So I'm going to go back to my word meek,
610
00:33:15.190 --> 00:33:18.559
you know, the meek, shall inherit all of.
611
00:33:18.519 --> 00:33:22.920
The things that God promised, right? And meek as a
612
00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:30.299
man means, you know, it is strength. It is composure.
613
00:33:30.319 --> 00:33:32.200
It is peace.
614
00:33:32.220 --> 00:33:36.630
I mean, it's massive strength. Like you have the capacity,
615
00:33:36.650 --> 00:33:40.150
you have power inside of you, but you harness it
616
00:33:40.269 --> 00:33:42.470
and you only use it if you absolutely need to,
617
00:33:42.690 --> 00:33:48.049
whether that's, you know, in any context. You have compassion
618
00:33:48.450 --> 00:33:51.839
and grace and patience and so much love.
619
00:33:52.619 --> 00:33:54.180
You have emotional intelligence.
620
00:33:55.579 --> 00:34:00.660
You have standards and boundaries that you are not afraid
621
00:34:01.259 --> 00:34:05.619
to speak on and hold other people to. And you
622
00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:10.900
have an aim in life that is Christ and bringing
623
00:34:10.940 --> 00:34:14.360
your wife to her best potential and bringing your kids
624
00:34:14.489 --> 00:34:20.219
to their best potential. And just leading your family spiritually,
625
00:34:21.739 --> 00:34:24.059
you can't go wrong if you're that person because who
626
00:34:24.099 --> 00:34:24.980
else was that person?
627
00:34:25.199 --> 00:34:25.619
Jesus.
628
00:34:26.989 --> 00:34:31.210
And I think ultimately to do this, you know, you
629
00:34:31.230 --> 00:34:35.170
do have to surrender your life in that way. Kind
630
00:34:35.190 --> 00:34:37.050
of like I said at the beginning, Jesus was always
631
00:34:37.090 --> 00:34:40.329
my savior, but he was not my Lord. And so
632
00:34:41.269 --> 00:34:44.769
everything was Jennifer's way, no matter like how often I prayed,
633
00:34:44.789 --> 00:34:47.070
it was like, oh, That's great, but I'm just going
634
00:34:47.090 --> 00:34:50.320
to go my way. Jesus has to be the Lord
635
00:34:50.610 --> 00:34:52.460
of your life in order to live by this design
636
00:34:52.940 --> 00:34:57.539
and have it feel good and how it, and that
637
00:34:57.559 --> 00:35:00.119
will just expand the lives of everybody around you, whether
638
00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:02.519
it's in the workplace or in the home. And so
639
00:35:02.539 --> 00:35:06.199
that would be my advice is to be a meek
640
00:35:06.260 --> 00:35:09.219
person and remember that that is not weak.
641
00:35:09.300 --> 00:35:12.789
That is standards. that is boundaries and.
642
00:35:12.730 --> 00:35:15.769
That is seeing people for who they are and loving
643
00:35:15.809 --> 00:35:18.289
people and giving grace and understanding.
644
00:35:18.650 --> 00:35:18.849
So.
645
00:35:21.389 --> 00:35:21.789
I love that.
646
00:35:21.809 --> 00:35:26.710
I've heard meekness defined as incredible strength under control. And
647
00:35:26.809 --> 00:35:29.269
so I think that just really speaks to it. Well, Jen,
648
00:35:29.309 --> 00:35:31.230
where can people go to find out more about the
649
00:35:31.269 --> 00:35:33.730
work you do, where you live in the online spaces?
650
00:35:33.750 --> 00:35:36.110
So you can look me up on LinkedIn, Jennifer Yale.
651
00:35:37.110 --> 00:35:39.280
That is the place I'm most present. I'm also on
652
00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:44.960
Instagram at jenwith2ends. yale. I do a podcast every week called
653
00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:48.099
Reignite in which I kind of talk to people, hear
654
00:35:48.119 --> 00:35:50.940
their story, how they've come through the fire, what their
655
00:35:50.980 --> 00:35:54.739
testimony is basically. I also do another podcast that I
656
00:35:54.780 --> 00:35:57.050
co-host called Living the Good Life. We kind of go
657
00:35:57.090 --> 00:36:01.269
through Matthew verse by verse and have an hour-long conversation
658
00:36:01.329 --> 00:36:06.690
and it's really great. And then I'll be taking over
659
00:36:06.750 --> 00:36:10.409
as president of the C-Suite for Christ Austin chapter in September.
660
00:36:11.139 --> 00:36:12.699
So you can find me at all those places and
661
00:36:12.739 --> 00:36:13.860
I would love to chat.
662
00:36:14.420 --> 00:36:14.739
Alrighty.
663
00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:16.980
I love that. We'll get those into the show notes. Well, Jen,
664
00:36:17.019 --> 00:36:18.840
thank you so much for taking the time today. I
665
00:36:18.889 --> 00:36:21.110
know that you're in a super busy season of life,
666
00:36:21.170 --> 00:36:24.389
getting kids off to college and making moves and taking
667
00:36:24.429 --> 00:36:26.329
care of your folks and all kinds of stuff.
668
00:36:26.349 --> 00:36:28.710
So thank you so much for making time for this conversation.
669
00:36:28.730 --> 00:36:30.289
Thank you so much for having me. It is always
670
00:36:30.329 --> 00:36:32.880
such a pleasure and blessing to talk to you. And
671
00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:35.340
I hope to do much more of that once I'm
672
00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:35.780
in Austin.
673
00:36:36.300 --> 00:36:36.940
Yes, girl.
674
00:36:37.039 --> 00:36:41.079
Absolutely. Same friend. All right, listener, you know what to do.
675
00:36:41.139 --> 00:36:42.340
Go to those show notes.
676
00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:45.260
Thank you so much to our podcast team who puts
677
00:36:45.280 --> 00:36:47.059
those together for us and has all the links and
678
00:36:47.099 --> 00:36:47.679
all the good stuff.
679
00:36:47.699 --> 00:36:48.880
So be sure and check that out.
680
00:36:49.219 --> 00:36:51.260
Hey, grab this link and send it to a friend
681
00:36:51.320 --> 00:36:53.860
who maybe is grappling with some of the same issues,
682
00:36:53.909 --> 00:36:56.409
trying to figure out dynamics in their marriage, trying to
683
00:36:56.449 --> 00:36:59.130
figure out what it means to be able to walk
684
00:36:59.329 --> 00:37:01.829
well and encourage each other as husband and wife.
685
00:37:01.889 --> 00:37:03.929
So grab this link and send it to someone who
686
00:37:04.170 --> 00:37:06.550
could use it because that is one of the best things.
687
00:37:06.570 --> 00:37:07.289
We love it.
688
00:37:07.670 --> 00:37:08.650
When you share.
689
00:37:08.969 --> 00:37:10.809
Also check out All Mom Does, All Mom Does on
690
00:37:10.829 --> 00:37:13.989
the socials, because that's a community that you are going
691
00:37:14.090 --> 00:37:17.840
to find that is fantastic for challenging you, encouraging you.
692
00:37:17.880 --> 00:37:18.639
And inspiring you.
693
00:37:18.980 --> 00:37:20.420
I love it too when you hop over to Julie
694
00:37:20.460 --> 00:37:22.460
Lyle's car on Instagram and you come over to my
695
00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:23.219
DMs and you say.
696
00:37:23.239 --> 00:37:25.519
Hey, can we talk about this? What about that?
697
00:37:25.539 --> 00:37:27.280
Have you ever heard of so-and-so? Could you have them
698
00:37:27.340 --> 00:37:27.800
on your show?
699
00:37:28.360 --> 00:37:30.460
I love that. So be sure and come
700
00:37:30.519 --> 00:37:32.750
See me over there on Instagram and I will see
701
00:37:32.769 --> 00:37:34.730
you next time on the All Mom Does podcast.