00:00:06
Speaker 1: Hi guys, Welcome back to another episode of Against All Odds. I'm your host Iris Palmer. All season we have had amazing guests who have succeeded all expectations, and today is no different. I'm joined by the one and only Cheeky. She's a Latin three times Grabby Award winning artist, she's an author, she's an entrepreneur, and she's also the host of Cheeky's and Chill, which is part of Iheart's Mike Wultura podcast network. And I'm so excited to have you here. Oh my god. I feel like you're an open book, and I feel like I'm an open book. So this is just going to be the best book you've ever read. Thank you. I'm so excited, thank you for being here. So I start every episode with a little icebreaker. I love astrology. I'm into zodiac signs. I'm a Taurus.
00:00:58
Speaker 2: Ooh nice, and I read you're a.
00:00:59
Speaker 1: Cant I love cancers. You know, cancers and tauruses are number two match.
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Speaker 3: Yes, actually I was about to tell you. I was like, you know what, I have a lot of Tauruses around me.
00:01:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, my man's a Taurus. Oh no, I mean cancer.
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Speaker 2: Oh he's a cancer. Okay.
00:01:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we're like the cancer and Taurus dynamic love that and I feel like cancers are obviously you guys are emotional. You guys are very deep, but I feel like you guys are very intuitive, very very intuitive. Like he will meet someone and be like you gotta watch that person. Like he he just has these like gut intuitions and he's always right, Like cancers are always right and they're so nice until they're not, Like if you cross them, they're.
00:01:38
Speaker 2: Like little crabs.
00:01:40
Speaker 3: Yes, and that's the thing we get in our shell and we don't want we don't want problems. Yeah, it's just like you push us to a certain place and we're like I was just talking about that this morning. I become like a little baby monster. I'm trying to all that. Yeah, because I'm just full of emotions. I'm like, listen to me, you know. So I'm like a for sure like real cancer.
00:01:57
Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like Taurus is like to like, I'm so chill until I'm not, like, don't poke the bear because you because you will find a bear, you know what I mean. And I'm like I don't bother nobody, don't bother me. Because like my mom always need to tell me, like, don't start nothing, but if somebody starts it with you, you better finish it. Like do not come here and like be beat up or something. So like I was, and I tell my kids that too. I'm like, look, we don't start anything, but don't let no one punk you, like stand up for you. And like I'm just like so big on that, you know. And I tell my daughter like, if you do need to punch somebody, this is the time, baby, this is when you start the years. Okay.
00:02:33
Speaker 2: Is also very loyal, by the way, just to put that up.
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Speaker 1: So loyal, Oh my god, Yeah, we're loyal, like we will not leave even when things are really really like sometimes they hurts us because you're like, oh, you should have been left, but it's like you know, you're like no, I'm gonna stick it through, like I'm loyal. Okay, So let's get into your story, because I feel like your story is so deep. There's so many layers. I admire you, first of all, all the things that you have been through, and I know I personally don't know you, but I feel like I do know you. Like it's it's like weird, you know, but I know you grew up in Long Beach. Yes, your mom was the iconic Jenny Rivera, you know, and if you're Latina, you know who Jenny Livetta was. So yeah, let's start with like, how like your upbringing?
00:03:21
Speaker 2: Okay?
00:03:21
Speaker 3: So, yes, I was born in Long Beach, between Long Beach and Compton, went back and forth, and then it wasn't until I was sixteen that we moved to Riverside. But I had a beautiful childhood up until. It wasn't until I realized that there were things that were happening that weren't normal.
00:03:39
Speaker 2: Normal.
00:03:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, and your mom was like a teenage mom.
00:03:42
Speaker 2: My mom was a teenage mom.
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Speaker 3: My mom had me when she was fifteen, two weeks before her sixteenth birthday.
00:03:48
Speaker 1: Also like typical Latina, you know what I mean. Like that's such a that's like because one of my goals, like from like I remember I was like thirteen fourteen, was like I cannot be pregnant in high school. Like that was like because all my cousins, everybody was pregnant.
00:04:03
Speaker 2: It was like a thing.
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Speaker 1: It's like in our community, it was like and honestly, it's it's kind of like my mom used always tell me, like, have your kids young? Like you know what I mean?
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Speaker 3: Like it it was like it's like I don't have a baby yet, what is wrong with you?
00:04:15
Speaker 1: Yeses, okay, So your mom's a teen moms.
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Speaker 3: Teen mom total like good student, like a good girl. And she met my dad he was twenty one again different times. Yes, my grandparents were obviously okay with it. And the way it was conceived is so funny because my mom always said this, I can't say anything I wanted.
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Speaker 2: Okay.
00:04:37
Speaker 3: So Mom's like, you're a precum baby because your dad never finished, which is why.
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Speaker 1: You're like one in a million baby.
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Speaker 2: Would girl imagine.
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Speaker 1: If I was like a hold on, I always say like, is that possible? You are one of those?
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Speaker 3: Yes, And my mom was like, that's why he always said you weren't his, but I was a virgin. She's like, and we couldn't finish because your THEO was there one of my my uncles because my grandma's like, okay, but.
00:05:00
Speaker 2: So he was babysitting. Yes, yes, my dad figured it out anyway.
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Speaker 3: So I just think it's super interesting to like tell people that because I'm like, dude, I was, I'm here because it's real it's a real story.
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Speaker 2: And that's why my dad friend I.
00:05:12
Speaker 1: Was a pretty come baby too, because this is a funny story too. My dad didn't think I was his. My mom used to work at a at a night club in Huntington Park. Okay, she lived there with my brother and my sister. She when she came from El Salvador, and my dad used to install carpet. You know, carpet back then was like you had carpet in yours in your freaking everywhere, in the living room and the kitchen, like everywhere. But so my dad used to come My mom said that he would come in with these like little gold chains, and that my aunt. So it was my sister, my aunt and my mom both working at the at the nightclub, and they were like, oh, let's see who can get him, you know, type of think. My dad went on a date with both the sister and my mom and they had like a one night rendezvous whatever. She ended up pregnant and ate months later. He was like, that is not my kid, and she was like, this is your kid. But if you don't want to be a part of her life, like you're never going to be a part of her life. And my dad said that something in him was like, no, that's my kid. So then they got together, so they weren't like in a relationship, and like, you know, so.
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Speaker 2: So you were you're the glue.
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Speaker 1: I was the glue. Yes, I've never shared that story, but now that you're like, you know my dad didn't know about Yeah, I was like maybe I was a pretty come.
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Speaker 3: Baby too, exactly because I was like I never undertood it until she like told me when I got older. But that's funny anyway, Yeah, my mom and I grew up like sisters. Imagine fifteen years apart. So it's like there was.
00:06:33
Speaker 2: A lot of love and a lot of like.
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Speaker 3: I guess, unspoken rivalry in a way because we were like sisters, you.
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Speaker 1: Know, but it you guys were like growing up together exactly.
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Speaker 3: She's like, you never you didn't come with the manual and imagine she was such a good student, yeah, like valuatorian and I wasn't like I wasn't the opposite.
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Speaker 2: I was opposite. She She's like, what is who are you?
00:06:55
Speaker 1: Yeah?
00:06:55
Speaker 3: So I think it was a mix of so many different things. But I had a beautiful child to nonetheless, I mean, yeah.
00:07:02
Speaker 1: So your mom eventually becomes this like mega superstar.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and what was that like?
00:07:08
Speaker 1: What was that change like? Because I also know that you guys kind of were like rais and humble beginnings, right, yes, like.
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Speaker 3: A lot of people, I don't think. No, my mom spoke about it a little bit. But my mom was we were on welfare. We were on wig like I we you know, there were times when we didn't have anything to eat, but she would never tell her family because to her like I have it all together. I'm not gonna ask anyone for a handout and then they're gonna.
00:07:33
Speaker 2: Throw it in my face.
00:07:33
Speaker 3: Yeah no, she yeah, She's just like I'm gonna make this happen. And she always did. Like I'm like, how does she make every holiday special?
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Speaker 2: Even if like we didn't.
00:07:42
Speaker 1: Have anything and you didn't know.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.
00:07:45
Speaker 3: Just like she was really like hard working in that sense. But what was there then a girl? I got sidetracked, hold on what.
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Speaker 1: Was she became a mega supers? What was the transition or like what do you remember, like now your mom's like, yes, superstar.
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Speaker 3: Well, I was ten, ten years old when she started singing, and I remember going to school and you know.
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Speaker 2: The folders that had like the little inserts, the inserts where you can put pictures.
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Speaker 3: So I had a picture of my mom and I didn't carry and I was so proud and they're like, who's that. I'm like, this is my mom. She's gonna be famous one day. And they were like what they would make fun of me there? I was bullied girl since I could like remember if it wasn't but my weight, it was because I didn't have like the coolest shoes because again we didn't have you know, I mean, I had my little painless shoes and yeah, just you know, they had their felas and their La gears and I didn't get those till later. But you know, they're like, oh yeah, yeah, right then she becomes this megastar. At when I was sixteen years old, it started happening. That was when my youngest brother, Johnny was born. So I kind of took over like that was my kid because my mom was doing her thing, and I just saw little by little she would stop singing and then she's like no, I would go back. It would just call her back, and then it just became what it is now. Slowly. It was a slow burn, but like it was look at her, like I feel like she's just a light that's I mean, undeniable.
00:09:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's still shining and.
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Speaker 2: She's still exactly.
00:09:06
Speaker 3: So it was it had its hard moments because she was out so much, you know, and missed a lot of important days, and I kind of resented her career for it. But now that I understand now, I have a lot more compassion and I feel bad that I was so tough on her sometimes because we were tough on each other. It wasn't just her, I was tough on her too.
00:09:25
Speaker 2: Well.
00:09:25
Speaker 1: I think that's that's the reality of like getting older too. Like I've had those moments with my mom too, where I didn't understand her or her choices until becoming a mother or like becoming of age, and I'm like, damn, like she just she did the best that she could, you know what I mean, and you look at them. Yeah, but for a long time I had a lot of resentment for my mom too. Yeah. And it's funny because like you get older and then everything that you that like your parents thought or felt, then you're like, I get it exactly.
00:09:52
Speaker 2: I've had so many moments like that. I'm like, damn, she was right yeah.
00:09:56
Speaker 1: I also know you've been very open about being sexually abused by your dad. How do you I mean, I'm assuming it's an ongoing trauma and healing.
00:10:09
Speaker 3: You know, that was thank goodness for my mom. So when it first happened, I was eight, and I didn't talk about it for the first time until I was ten with one of my mom's only sister and then just to find out that she was also being molested by him. And then it came out when I was twelve. We went to church and you know, like we were very Christian and we worked. That's a whole other subject, but anyway, we were Christian and there was a prophet and the prophet was praying for my aunt, and it all came out in that way, like in front of the church and there were yes. So then I think they let two weeks pass by.
00:10:46
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden your mom was there.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, my mom, my grandma.
00:10:49
Speaker 1: And this least the first time your mom's hearing about it too.
00:10:51
Speaker 3: Everyone her and I had kept the secret. She's like, Okay, if it ever happens again, you tell me and we have to stop it. I never told her because I was so scared. I was like, oh my gosh, I don't want to lose my dad. I know how my mom, my mom's temper, My mom's gonna kill him. Yeah, you know, and my dad. I thought of all these things when at ten years old.
00:11:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I didn't keep my promise because I didn't tell her.
00:11:11
Speaker 3: And so anyhow, they had like a family meeting and they asked her about it, and she came clean and that's how it all happened.
00:11:17
Speaker 1: So that was how did your mom react?
00:11:20
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, girl, Well, if it wasn't for Jenica, she was pregnant with my sister Jenica. She was like, what seven eight months something like that, and she was full on belly. If it hadn't been for her being pregnant, there would have been nothing that would have stopped my mom from going and handling business herself. Like I know it, like God knows when and how he does everything. Because the detectives were like, you can't say anything, you have to pretend like everything's fine. She's like, well, how am I supposed to send my kids over there? She's like, make an excuse, but we have to do our investigation. Of course, those things take time. So she he felt it's like something's wrong, something's off for like a month. And it wasn't till that year two thousand and seven, October thirty first I remember because it was Halloween. My mom just couldn't hold it.
00:12:06
Speaker 2: She's like, I already know what you did. I know what you did to my sister, to my daughter. I'm going to get you, dude.
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Speaker 3: That was Halloween night. The next day they go and look for my dad. His house was empty, nowhere to.
00:12:17
Speaker 1: Be found, no way.
00:12:18
Speaker 2: He last ten years on the run.
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Speaker 3: For ten years, and then my mom became this mega superstar. And when she became more famous, she got more respect, so she was able to have people help her. There was this one detective.
00:12:31
Speaker 1: She tracked him down, tracked me.
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Speaker 3: I don't know that, like on a radio station she was at having an interview and she was telling her story and he's like, I don't know where he is. And the detective called and said, hey, I want to help you find him. He's the one that found my dad. And that was yeah, wait, no, ninety seven, I'm sorry. So that happened in ninety seven. He wasn't caught until two thousand and seven. That's when we started going to court girl. It was a whole thing. It was so crazy.
00:13:04
Speaker 1: Okay, so now your dad, I'm like just like shocked, right, but okay, so now your dad goes to jail, And was that in a way, like were you Like, I know it's like bitter suit, but it's like were you Did you feel peace like with him going to jail?
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Speaker 3: A lot of sadness Like I it's so weird because I know this is a touchy subject, but I never held a resentment toward him, like I forgave him even when he didn't ask me for forgiveness, Like I just knew because I had been raised in church and my mom never allowed what happened to me affect me so much to the point where it's like you're not gonna be You're a victim, but you're not gonna be vic You're not gonna victimize yourself sort of thing.
00:13:45
Speaker 2: So that helped a lot.
00:13:46
Speaker 3: So when it happened, I was just like, dude, I'm already like twenty something and I just don't really like it's fine, like let's just let him be. My mom was like, no, he needs to pay. We need justice and more than anything for your aunt. And so I did the whole testimony and everything.
00:14:04
Speaker 2: So it hurt me.
00:14:05
Speaker 3: It was weird because I should be mad at this person, but I never really was. I felt bad for him.
00:14:11
Speaker 1: You know. It's so crazy because like I always feel like when I speak to other Latinas, like we've lived very similar lives. My mom and her and her sister were a victim of rape as well, and I'll solve it or through mutual family members because their parents died at a very young age and they were passed on to like the theas and and you know, so they dealt with that too. And I know that you are in therapy or you went to therapy, right, And I feel like our community is like we look down on therapy, like we're not Like I feel like I need therapy myself, but I feel like I don't even know where to start. And my fear is like just telling a random person all of my I get it, you know, dishing everything out, and then I'm.
00:14:59
Speaker 3: Like that, yeah, but it's someone that could never ever say anything, and it's always to me, it's almost.
00:15:06
Speaker 1: How do you find the right therapist?
00:15:09
Speaker 2: That's a good question.
00:15:10
Speaker 3: I've had, truth be told, I've had a lot of therapy I've had a lot of therapists because it's you have to find it's it's not just one fits for everyone. Yeah, I knew I needed a female and.
00:15:25
Speaker 2: It took a while.
00:15:26
Speaker 3: So I think I just found my new therapist what like a year ago, So.
00:15:30
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Often are you seeing this therapist?
00:15:33
Speaker 3: It depends. I try to see her right now. I feel like my tune ups. Now I'm doing life coaching. So I feel like I did therapy for a long time, and I would do therapy like once a month, depending on how much I needed it or I'm like, hey, I need a session, But I think like once quarterly is good to kind of like hey, this is what I'm feeling, because therapy is more of like these these are my thoughts, my feelings, and they're supposed to just listen and maybe give you some sort of like guidance. But life coaching they give you actual tools, which I'm like, okay, cool, now I'm ready.
00:16:02
Speaker 2: For this part.
00:16:02
Speaker 3: So I think both are equally important. But there's websites. There's like I can tell you, I mean a mine is great.
00:16:10
Speaker 1: I don't know, No, I feel like I definitely want to start just for myself and just for my kids and just to you know, handle situations better or just things that I notice now that because I'm very self aware, and I think a lot of people are not self aware or don't really know them, you know. So I know what triggers me where everything stems from our childhood and you know a lot of things that I feel like I'm dealing with my mom's traumas that I feel like, damn, like I need to talk to somebody about this, you know what I mean, because I just hold it in. And the only person that I really I feel like talk to my issues about about like family stuff is my sister because she lived it. But we lived two different lives because they always say like no sibling has the same parents, no sibling has the same experience, and we really do. Like when we've been sharing more recently, actually like out of nowhere, I've been very like I need to see my sister. My sigil is in Nashville. She ran away. She ran away from home when she was sixteen. I was six years old. We're ten years apart, and I'm now like at an age where I'm like, damn, like I miss my sister. I need to like, you know, we need to be closer. I need to like bring her over here. So I've been I just took her to All Salvador and we're having now like these deep thoughts. We're at talks where she's telling me her experience about this and I'm telling her my experience and it's totally different, you know, and it's it just blows my mind. But I'm like, damn, I'm like, we need therapy, and we my mom needs therapy, you know, and like but telling you know, telling her mom that she's like stars Loca, like you know what I mean, And I'm like, yeah, I know, I still know. I'm like, oh, like how do I cause in our culture, it's just not it's not a thing, you know. And also too, like another thing that you were saying, like your mom was like, we're not you know, something very traumatic happened to you, but you're not going to be a victim. And I think in our community, we don't play the victim card, even though we were victims of a lot of things. And I think I see that also in my relationships, where like if people are playing the victim and they're like, to me, it's not a reason to play victim. I'm like, what is wrong with you? Like people have real life problems. Get it together, do you know what I mean? Yeah? Because I feel like because I feel like we don't make excuses like we have. We are parents from like being immigrants, like they have gone through so much and we figure it out. And I just think it's part of our It truly is part of our culture.
00:18:30
Speaker 3: Being like just hustling and getting things done because we have to. There's another choice.
00:18:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but therapy, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna look into it.
00:18:37
Speaker 3: I think life coaching would be great for you. Yeah, life coaching, because I feel like, if you are emotionally intelligent and self aware, I think life coaching would be great.
00:18:45
Speaker 2: And I have the perfect person because.
00:18:46
Speaker 1: Okay, sure that I have to tell you, I have to.
00:18:49
Speaker 2: I definitely have to share. She's amazing.
00:18:51
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, Okay, I just got so sidetrack because I'm like, this is like the talk that I did. I did. I didn't know I needed for therapy.
00:19:00
Speaker 2: My gosh, well girl, I'm here.
00:19:04
Speaker 1: So you clearly have gone through so many hard moments in your life, the hardest one probably being losing your mom and twenty twelve. Right, and you guys were not on speaking terms, right, I'm so sorry.
00:19:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like it was tough, but I think, goodness, I feel that. Oh my gosh, thank god.
00:19:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was.
00:19:21
Speaker 3: It was something that was difficult for me for a long time. I was very upset with my mom.
00:19:26
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:19:26
Speaker 3: I would go in and out with like, Okay, obviously she was the most important love in my life. But then there were times where I'm just like, oh my goodness, you hurt. This hurt me so much. I was upset and women.
00:19:35
Speaker 1: Were not speaking terms because of the rumor that you had slept with her husband or current husband.
00:19:41
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, they never got divorced. We're still married, so yeah, that which obviously is not true.
00:19:47
Speaker 2: I ever ever would have done that ever.
00:19:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was like the people around her that were like whispering.
00:19:54
Speaker 3: We're jealous of our relationship. My mom and I were like this, I.
00:19:58
Speaker 1: Was my mom is right, is like the biggest disease. It is so good, Oh my god.
00:20:03
Speaker 3: It is just like it's especially amongst women. And I think it was a series of people. Like now that I look back, I'm like, it wasn't just one person. There was a lot of people wanting me out evil evil, But then I see their lives now and I'm like, like.
00:20:20
Speaker 1: I don't wish you harm, but what everything comes? Yep, everything comes closed to go. I always say that, And my daddy's always telling that. As a child, He's always teld me do good and good will come to you. He always like, that's all that matters. And God says everything, and I live by that. I'm like, I'm not going to go out of my way to harm you, to do none of that, because life itself. I always say, like, God truly has my back, like he will humble you every time. Yep.
00:20:47
Speaker 2: But I don't mess with me because God.
00:20:48
Speaker 1: I'm like, God loves me. I'm just letting you know, tread lightly exactly.
00:20:53
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't mess with me.
00:20:54
Speaker 3: But yeah, my mom and I weren't speaking for two months before she passed and then and obviously that was I couldn't I just could not believe that I was not ever going to have that moment to tell her mom. Look, this is all of my evidence. Yeah that that wasn't the first time she had stopped talking about My Mom's lessons were very hard. My mom was like Okay, I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna I'm gonna make you miss me. So she had done that to me when I turned fifteen for two months, so it was I felt like it's one of those things again, it'll come around.
00:21:23
Speaker 1: But then my mom was like that too, the really yes, I'm telling you. I feel like we've lived with the similar things. My mom lost my brother. My mom had a baby after me, and she delivered the baby and the baby was dead and it was the most traumatic thing. I was like in middle school and we named Jason Joel. I have a J on the side where it was like my first tad too. I got it in high school and to this day, people are like, why do you have a J? But like people don't really know that. Like my brother died and my mom was never the same after that. So she left. She left to San Francisco. That was the year that I got my period. That like she just and I was I resented her so much, my how could you just leave your kid? And then I remember one time she called me and she'd have a phone it was like from like a payphone or something, you know, and I was crying because I was like and she was like, if you cry, I'm not going to call you again, and she just like hung up and I was like it, like no, it like it messed with me for so many years until I became a mother. I was like, damn, Like she probably had postpartum. She probably like now like I truly, but for a long time I did. I did resent her and like it was just not good. So yeah, everything that like not talking to you though all like it. It's like a I don't know, it's like a weird form of love.
00:22:35
Speaker 2: It's also there like way of surviving. Yeah, you know what I mean. Now I understand.
00:22:39
Speaker 3: I'm like it's okay, Like I I finally let it go where I'm like, yeah, I mad like I'm understanding. I understand and I now I know why God like how everything happened, and I wouldn't change it. As weird as that sounds, I'm like, it's truly made me the person that I am today.
00:22:56
Speaker 1: Same, I feel I feel the exact same. I'm like, I wouldn't change not one.
00:22:59
Speaker 2: Experience, that one thing, as much as it hurt.
00:23:01
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm so strong. And then I also feel like because of how I was raised and how all the little things. I feel like a lot of people are not okay alone. I'm truly okay alone. Yeah, Like is that weird?
00:23:15
Speaker 2: You're the same, But that's when you you're like, you're good with yourself.
00:23:18
Speaker 1: I love being by myself. Like I'm like and I run such a tight ship, like even in like my relationships or like what I'm like, I don't tolerate like disrespect. Yeah, like I'm very like, nope, don't me, don't stuck with me.
00:23:36
Speaker 2: I love it.
00:23:38
Speaker 1: So when your mom, did, I feel like you took on the role of like your mom to your siblings.
00:23:43
Speaker 3: Yes, it actually started when I was ten. I was always like the second mom to all my siblings, like I'm the oldest of five. So Johnny, as soon as he was born, my mom's like, okay, I gotta go back to work.
00:23:52
Speaker 2: This is your son.
00:23:53
Speaker 3: And he and my son, and he lived with me and I raised him. So when this whole thing happened with my mom and I, they weren't allowed to talk to me. It was very difficult on all of us because imagine, like we were so close with such a close family. But Johnny would find a way to call me, you know, my siblings. So yeah, and he was when my mom passed, he was eleven and Jenica was fifteen.
00:24:14
Speaker 2: So I took over.
00:24:15
Speaker 3: Right away my mom no one like imagine my entire family. Yeah, was like on my mom's side because she was the one that was at the power and that's just the way it worked.
00:24:25
Speaker 1: And also she also like took you out the well right.
00:24:27
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, she also did, which is one of the best things she ever did for me, because I was like, all right, I'm gonna make this shit happen.
00:24:32
Speaker 2: You taught me everything I needed. No, Mom, don't even trip. I got like, I'm I'm good.
00:24:38
Speaker 3: But yeah, I didn't get custody of them, like on paper until like two years later. But I was there, like I as soon as I found out that my mom was we couldn't find the plane, I said, I don't care if no, if you guys don't want me at my grandma's house, like Johnny called me, I think it was. Jennica actually was like, sister, I need you here, and I hadn't heard from her in a while, so I said, don't even worry.
00:24:58
Speaker 2: I went, and from that day forward, I was there.
00:25:01
Speaker 3: I was like, these are my kids and which always was like a question, and now I have the answer and I'll share it whenever I'm ready, because I you know, but there's no way in the world that my mom would have not left those kids to me. There's no one else that she trusted more.
00:25:17
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:25:18
Speaker 3: So to me, every time I saw it was like, Okay, the will, that's fine, cool, I'm a work. But as far as custody of the most important, precious things in her life, it never made sense.
00:25:28
Speaker 2: I'm like to answer her sister, Oh, and.
00:25:32
Speaker 1: That's a fight for that custody.
00:25:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know what, Rosie is her name, my mom's sister. She just gave it to me. She said, you know what, there's no one else that could take care of these kids better things. She never fought me on this, evank God, And it was easy. And I'm like, that's all I needed because it was so difficult. I'm like, imagine having all this like I mean, I could do anything with them, and then I had to go ask for permission. That was so difficult for me. Then I got custody. I was like, oh and now, yeah, now they're all grown up, these damn kids.
00:26:00
Speaker 1: You have been a mother.
00:26:01
Speaker 2: That's no mother yeah, I just haven't.
00:26:03
Speaker 1: You're such an old soul too, like to be that wise, Like even at ten, I feel like my daughter's like that's a very old soul. Like she takes care of her little brother like not a normal ten year old would.
00:26:13
Speaker 2: Okay, Like it's very something that she's known.
00:26:16
Speaker 1: And I always say, like, if something were to happen to me, like I we talk about everything, I'm like, this is yours. You make sure your brother's good. Like she's very like intuitive and very above her ears, you know, so like that's very very special. And you're the oldest. Yeah, she's the oldest too. And then obviously grief, it like comes in waves and it's very unpredictable. Have you lost anybody else other than your mom?
00:26:43
Speaker 3: Well, the first loss was my stepdad, Johnny and Jenica's dad. He passed two years before, so that was kind of I think prepared us for my mom.
00:26:50
Speaker 2: But after my mom, how did he die?
00:26:53
Speaker 3: He got he was incarcerated and he got bit by like a spider and then just got like a really bad fever and then it went turned into pnemon.
00:27:00
Speaker 2: It was the weirdest thing. So young.
00:27:02
Speaker 3: He was so young, I think like thirty five, if I'm not mistaken. So yeah, that happened two years. But that was like the biggest loss, and my mom did not know how to even I had to tell the kids. I was like, hey, your dad's gone. She didn't know how to handle it. Yeah, but I feel like that was also preparing us for what was coming with my mom, which is crazy to even think about. But after my mom, no, I've just I've had grief in other ways like relationships and.
00:27:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, family members and yeah.
00:27:30
Speaker 1: Did you go to therapy for grief about your mom? Yeah? Yeah, sure I.
00:27:35
Speaker 3: Needed it because I was very suicidal for a little bit. Yeah, it wasn't especially those two months when we weren't speaking. I thought about taking my life. I was on watch my friends. Thank god for them, girl. They would like they would not leave me. I was not alone for a whole month because it was like, hey, your shift and I didn't know this was going on. I just knew someone was always with me. Yeah, but they knew if they left.
00:27:58
Speaker 1: Me alone, what a dark play?
00:27:59
Speaker 2: Was so bad.
00:28:00
Speaker 3: It was so bad, and thank god nothing ever happened. My therapist, like two weeks before my mom passed away, said you know what you need to start living your life as if she's no longer here and I'm like how what? And then she passed. It was it's just I don't know. I mean, thank goodness, I feel like so much closer to her now. But yeah, therapy definitely helped me a lot.
00:28:31
Speaker 1: I went through like I'm just like an a of you. Okay, let's let's talk into like your music career now because you are dropping. Yeah, let's lighten the mood up. Although yesterday I just was like I always like to do like my research on like you know, my gas and stuff, and obviously I've been knowing of you and I feel like I see some stuff come up, like the podcast stuff and like you know, like some talks with your sisters. But yesterday I went on your TikTok and girl was crying. I saw your it was like your last TikTok about like the Malibu song, and I was it was like I couldn't sleep last night, I don't know, and I was like, oh, let me look at Cheeky's TikTok and I'm like balling, okay, bawling because I was like you you were just like you know, I DMed her and like you know, so many people said no to collab with me, and then this person said yes, and just like the yes, you know what I mean, like having that yes, and then I got it and I want to cry because I have like another one after you. But beautiful, I think that, you know, it's so meaningful that one person that had that says the yes. Believe you know that belize anyone really opens the door and just is like, you know, by the way, the song from what I heard in the background, it sounds like, yeah, it sounds so guys to hear, but yeah, you had me crying yesterday and crying now like a okay.
00:30:00
Speaker 3: It was such a genuine moment and I had I tell yeah, like I was like, I'm just going to record this because I'm so grateful, like I want people to to I want to show God's greatness and how I've been through a lot. Yes, but you know what, like I've always stayed so just grounded and rooted in my light, in my faith that has helped me and gotten me through. So this was just like a moment of like being validated, you know. And I and someone had told me you like, oh, maybe you should remove it. Maybe that's too personal and I let that get to me and I did and I archived, and then the next morning I thought, I'm like, this is what this album is all about.
00:30:37
Speaker 2: It's about being vulnerable and grateful.
00:30:40
Speaker 1: And no, I felt that through a TikTok video, you know what I mean.
00:30:44
Speaker 2: So this is confirmation.
00:30:45
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know your album drops on the thirty. I'm like, I can't wait to listen to it. But I was really like it hit me last night where I was like, damn, like this is what life is about, you know what I mean, and like saying yes to people and putting them on and like just like opening the door because you like, she doesn't know you know that she was your yes a lot, you know what I mean exactly, and just being that special like yes.
00:31:07
Speaker 2: She's gonna be my forever yet so much it was so awesome.
00:31:12
Speaker 1: So you have three Latin Grammys under your belt. Yes, congratulations, thank.
00:31:16
Speaker 2: You so much.
00:31:17
Speaker 1: Did you when your mom was alive, did you always want to go into music or no?
00:31:22
Speaker 2: Yes, she knew. She knew that for a long time.
00:31:25
Speaker 3: I was like no because I was again resentful with the like industry and end her career. But like it wasn't until I was maybe nineteen twenty where I was like, Mom, I kind of want to try this, But she always said this career, I don't want this for you. It's too hard. I don't want you to go through what I went through. But if that's what you want, we'll find the time. Right now, we're focused on Mama. So because I was, I was just the one there, you know, taking care of everything. But then I was like, I need to try this, and so she was well aware the plan was for her to become a manager at some point.
00:31:58
Speaker 1: Do you feel like it's a little like daunting like her, like you being compared to her, or do you feel like you're in your own lane and they don't.
00:32:06
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:32:06
Speaker 3: For a long time, I wanted everything, I wanted to do everything to not be compared to her because I felt like I was in her shadow.
00:32:15
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:32:15
Speaker 3: Now I could tell you when they tell me I look like my mom, or I sound like my mom, or I like I'm now, I'm like, hell, yeah.
00:32:20
Speaker 2: That's my mom.
00:32:21
Speaker 1: Yeh heck yeah.
00:32:23
Speaker 3: I fought it so much that now I'm just leaning into it. And now that especially with this album, because this is the album of like this is Janey. This is like really my sound fan.
00:32:32
Speaker 2: That I love it. Yeah, it's part of my life.
00:32:35
Speaker 3: But it was my survival, like I needed to do what I had to do, you know, to like survive.
00:32:40
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:32:41
Speaker 3: So so I'm grateful, but now I now I like it. Now I'm like, you know what, Yeah, that's my mom and I'm proud. And before I it like, oh you want to be like your mom? Well you whatever, and I'm like I would fight it so much, but now I'm like, there's nothing to fight. Heck.
00:32:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's badass.
00:32:57
Speaker 1: Yeah that's why I look now like she's so much. Yeah, I know she's so proud of you.
00:33:01
Speaker 2: She's like she did not give up that as my damn. I already know it. I feel it.
00:33:05
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. Yeah. Also when you were singing you know, your Spanish dabanda the banda, I feel like that's such a male dominated yes, you know, super like my cheese more like, you know, how did you feel like being in such a space where it's so male dominated. Well like your mom obviously.
00:33:26
Speaker 3: Did it, and that's that was like it wasn't scared, Yeah, because I'm like my mom paved the way. My mom made it possible I know I could do this, and I'm going to say it was easy because it wasn't. It was far from it. It was an uphill battle, I think from the beginning of my career up until the end. But I mean not the end, because I'm still going to do on that obviously, you know. But yes, I will tell you they don't want you to.
00:33:53
Speaker 2: Sing certain songs and they don't want you.
00:33:55
Speaker 3: To dress a certain way. But I went against all that. I said, no, I don't. I'm gonna do whatever I want because I have the best example, which is my mother.
00:34:05
Speaker 1: Yeah. What do you think is your biggest asset to your success? Like what's made you successful?
00:34:11
Speaker 3: M Wow, that's a good question. I think more than anything obviously, the great the discipline. I'm very disciplined, but I just I always kept my heart in the right place, like I always made sure that I did my heart check of like I don't want to.
00:34:29
Speaker 1: Screw it heart, heart chakra, my heart.
00:34:31
Speaker 3: Shocking Exactly'm like this, Am I doing this because I have peace with this? Or am I doing it to please others? And a lot of time I was doing it to please others. I was a big people please. I'm still working on that, but I think it's just knowing, like Okay.
00:34:44
Speaker 1: I think it's a cancer thing.
00:34:45
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:34:46
Speaker 1: Maybe because my man's the same way, and I'm like, you need to stop.
00:34:49
Speaker 2: Like because we just want to make every wee la.
00:34:51
Speaker 1: Pisses me off sometimes, yes, because I'm like, he's so nice as someone as they take advantage of him, and I'm like, I'm like, oh, you guys will be like hold up, Oh no, I don't. I don't like like bullshit, Like I'm a bull you know, so like I don't like bullshit just passed by anybody that loves I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not gonna do And like I'm very like assertive in that way where I'm like.
00:35:11
Speaker 2: You guys, no, yeah, you're not You're not especially.
00:35:15
Speaker 1: Yeah no, no. That the friends, the homies that were like, you know, but he was an NBA player, so like you know, they always have the homies that'll take advantage or want this or that. I'm like, we cut all of those out the window out.
00:35:30
Speaker 3: Are you working on anything, Nel, Yes, I have a big plan that I'm going to announce hopefully at the end of the year, but right now the focus is this album and doing some shows around this album.
00:35:44
Speaker 1: I just even do some shows.
00:35:46
Speaker 2: Yes, well, I was. I had a whole tour plan, girl, I had a whole tour.
00:35:50
Speaker 1: Plan, and I pulled the plug going on tour.
00:35:53
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm going to I was like, you know what, let me postpone because I want to prepare more. So it was supposed to happen in May. Now it's not going to happen until the end of the year. But I feel good about the decision. That's another thing I'm working on. I'm like, you know what, I need to be more gracefully assertive, especially like you know, because we get stuck in oh these people know more than uses, and I'm like, no, I need to follow my intuition. I talk about this all the time. I need to practice what I preach. Yea, So I said, you know what doesn't feel right right now, and let's move it. So I'm working on that right now, currently, getting that whole show together, because it's going to be more of like a wellness situation.
00:36:26
Speaker 1: You please, I'm there.
00:36:28
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so it's just that right now, and you know, a lot of baby making, you know, just doing our best to just have fun.
00:36:35
Speaker 1: Okay. Yeah, So I'm sending you goodvies. You're going to be the best mom by the way you already are to your siblings. So like, I can't wait, I can't wait. I hope you have a girl first.
00:36:47
Speaker 2: Yes, I know, I have a feeling it'll be.
00:36:48
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I'm like, I see a girl.
00:36:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, you're very intuitive.
00:36:53
Speaker 1: I'm very intuitive, and I go by the Chinese calendar.
00:36:55
Speaker 2: If you can, I do. I always go by the Chinese calendar.
00:37:00
Speaker 1: This is crazy, because this is crazy. I told you, I just felt something like, Okay, I love it. So make sure you like plan for like a tourist's okay, exactly. But you have such an incredible story. Thank you for sharing with us. So before we leave, I always ask my guests to drop a gem, so like anything you want, any advice, anything that resonates with you or like where you're at in your life. I love that dropping gems.
00:37:28
Speaker 2: For dropping gems, it's gonna leave some little fairy dusty.
00:37:30
Speaker 3: Yes, well, I mean I think if I could speak to all the women out there, because obviously I am a woman, which I love being a woman because it's like, oh, I think it's not an easy job.
00:37:48
Speaker 2: We're superheroes, but we're superheroes guys. We are life literally life.
00:37:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, So all I could say is, I've seen this a lot of my industry. A lot is a lot of jealousy and envy. If we were just to just support one another, uplift one another, empower one another more, and not speak bad about each other when we're not present, Like, I think that's just gonna raise just the strength between women. That's like my biggest goal right now. And not to compare ourselves. I think we compare ourselves and I've done this a lot to the progress of like this person is here at this age, and it's just like we have to just not do that. And that's something that has helped me so much, and I have to remind myself of that because then that causes us to like not really work internally and really fix the things that are most important because we're so worried about everyone else. Let people shine. There's enough light, more than enough light for all of us.
00:38:46
Speaker 1: I always say that would for you, always be for you, and can take it from you, no one can take it from.
00:38:50
Speaker 2: That's that's the power that we have.
00:38:52
Speaker 3: So that's all just tap into that power, to that intuition and yeah, peace and I'm.
00:38:58
Speaker 1: Saying against a Lots is a Hyphenet Media Group production in partnership with Iheartsmikutura podcast Network. For more of your favorite shows, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Hi guys, Welcome back to another episode of Against All Odds. I'm your host Iris Palmer. All season we have had amazing guests who have succeeded all expectations, and today is no different. I'm joined by the one and only Cheeky. She's a Latin three times Grabby Award winning artist, she's an author, she's an entrepreneur, and she's also the host of Cheeky's and Chill, which is part of Iheart's Mike Wultura podcast network. And I'm so excited to have you here. Oh my god. I feel like you're an open book, and I feel like I'm an open book. So this is just going to be the best book you've ever read. Thank you. I'm so excited, thank you for being here. So I start every episode with a little icebreaker. I love astrology. I'm into zodiac signs. I'm a Taurus.
00:00:58
Speaker 2: Ooh nice, and I read you're a.
00:00:59
Speaker 1: Cant I love cancers. You know, cancers and tauruses are number two match.
00:01:04
Speaker 3: Yes, actually I was about to tell you. I was like, you know what, I have a lot of Tauruses around me.
00:01:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, my man's a Taurus. Oh no, I mean cancer.
00:01:11
Speaker 2: Oh he's a cancer. Okay.
00:01:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we're like the cancer and Taurus dynamic love that and I feel like cancers are obviously you guys are emotional. You guys are very deep, but I feel like you guys are very intuitive, very very intuitive. Like he will meet someone and be like you gotta watch that person. Like he he just has these like gut intuitions and he's always right, Like cancers are always right and they're so nice until they're not, Like if you cross them, they're.
00:01:38
Speaker 2: Like little crabs.
00:01:40
Speaker 3: Yes, and that's the thing we get in our shell and we don't want we don't want problems. Yeah, it's just like you push us to a certain place and we're like I was just talking about that this morning. I become like a little baby monster. I'm trying to all that. Yeah, because I'm just full of emotions. I'm like, listen to me, you know. So I'm like a for sure like real cancer.
00:01:57
Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like Taurus is like to like, I'm so chill until I'm not, like, don't poke the bear because you because you will find a bear, you know what I mean. And I'm like I don't bother nobody, don't bother me. Because like my mom always need to tell me, like, don't start nothing, but if somebody starts it with you, you better finish it. Like do not come here and like be beat up or something. So like I was, and I tell my kids that too. I'm like, look, we don't start anything, but don't let no one punk you, like stand up for you. And like I'm just like so big on that, you know. And I tell my daughter like, if you do need to punch somebody, this is the time, baby, this is when you start the years. Okay.
00:02:33
Speaker 2: Is also very loyal, by the way, just to put that up.
00:02:35
Speaker 1: So loyal, Oh my god, Yeah, we're loyal, like we will not leave even when things are really really like sometimes they hurts us because you're like, oh, you should have been left, but it's like you know, you're like no, I'm gonna stick it through, like I'm loyal. Okay, So let's get into your story, because I feel like your story is so deep. There's so many layers. I admire you, first of all, all the things that you have been through, and I know I personally don't know you, but I feel like I do know you. Like it's it's like weird, you know, but I know you grew up in Long Beach. Yes, your mom was the iconic Jenny Rivera, you know, and if you're Latina, you know who Jenny Livetta was. So yeah, let's start with like, how like your upbringing?
00:03:21
Speaker 2: Okay?
00:03:21
Speaker 3: So, yes, I was born in Long Beach, between Long Beach and Compton, went back and forth, and then it wasn't until I was sixteen that we moved to Riverside. But I had a beautiful childhood up until. It wasn't until I realized that there were things that were happening that weren't normal.
00:03:39
Speaker 2: Normal.
00:03:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, and your mom was like a teenage mom.
00:03:42
Speaker 2: My mom was a teenage mom.
00:03:44
Speaker 3: My mom had me when she was fifteen, two weeks before her sixteenth birthday.
00:03:48
Speaker 1: Also like typical Latina, you know what I mean. Like that's such a that's like because one of my goals, like from like I remember I was like thirteen fourteen, was like I cannot be pregnant in high school. Like that was like because all my cousins, everybody was pregnant.
00:04:03
Speaker 2: It was like a thing.
00:04:04
Speaker 1: It's like in our community, it was like and honestly, it's it's kind of like my mom used always tell me, like, have your kids young? Like you know what I mean?
00:04:11
Speaker 3: Like it it was like it's like I don't have a baby yet, what is wrong with you?
00:04:15
Speaker 1: Yeses, okay, So your mom's a teen moms.
00:04:18
Speaker 3: Teen mom total like good student, like a good girl. And she met my dad he was twenty one again different times. Yes, my grandparents were obviously okay with it. And the way it was conceived is so funny because my mom always said this, I can't say anything I wanted.
00:04:36
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:04:37
Speaker 3: So Mom's like, you're a precum baby because your dad never finished, which is why.
00:04:40
Speaker 1: You're like one in a million baby.
00:04:42
Speaker 2: Would girl imagine.
00:04:42
Speaker 1: If I was like a hold on, I always say like, is that possible? You are one of those?
00:04:47
Speaker 3: Yes, And my mom was like, that's why he always said you weren't his, but I was a virgin. She's like, and we couldn't finish because your THEO was there one of my my uncles because my grandma's like, okay, but.
00:05:00
Speaker 2: So he was babysitting. Yes, yes, my dad figured it out anyway.
00:05:04
Speaker 3: So I just think it's super interesting to like tell people that because I'm like, dude, I was, I'm here because it's real it's a real story.
00:05:10
Speaker 2: And that's why my dad friend I.
00:05:12
Speaker 1: Was a pretty come baby too, because this is a funny story too. My dad didn't think I was his. My mom used to work at a at a night club in Huntington Park. Okay, she lived there with my brother and my sister. She when she came from El Salvador, and my dad used to install carpet. You know, carpet back then was like you had carpet in yours in your freaking everywhere, in the living room and the kitchen, like everywhere. But so my dad used to come My mom said that he would come in with these like little gold chains, and that my aunt. So it was my sister, my aunt and my mom both working at the at the nightclub, and they were like, oh, let's see who can get him, you know, type of think. My dad went on a date with both the sister and my mom and they had like a one night rendezvous whatever. She ended up pregnant and ate months later. He was like, that is not my kid, and she was like, this is your kid. But if you don't want to be a part of her life, like you're never going to be a part of her life. And my dad said that something in him was like, no, that's my kid. So then they got together, so they weren't like in a relationship, and like, you know, so.
00:06:13
Speaker 2: So you were you're the glue.
00:06:15
Speaker 1: I was the glue. Yes, I've never shared that story, but now that you're like, you know my dad didn't know about Yeah, I was like maybe I was a pretty come.
00:06:22
Speaker 3: Baby too, exactly because I was like I never undertood it until she like told me when I got older. But that's funny anyway, Yeah, my mom and I grew up like sisters. Imagine fifteen years apart. So it's like there was.
00:06:33
Speaker 2: A lot of love and a lot of like.
00:06:37
Speaker 3: I guess, unspoken rivalry in a way because we were like sisters, you.
00:06:40
Speaker 1: Know, but it you guys were like growing up together exactly.
00:06:43
Speaker 3: She's like, you never you didn't come with the manual and imagine she was such a good student, yeah, like valuatorian and I wasn't like I wasn't the opposite.
00:06:52
Speaker 2: I was opposite. She She's like, what is who are you?
00:06:55
Speaker 1: Yeah?
00:06:55
Speaker 3: So I think it was a mix of so many different things. But I had a beautiful child to nonetheless, I mean, yeah.
00:07:02
Speaker 1: So your mom eventually becomes this like mega superstar.
00:07:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, and what was that like?
00:07:08
Speaker 1: What was that change like? Because I also know that you guys kind of were like rais and humble beginnings, right, yes, like.
00:07:14
Speaker 3: A lot of people, I don't think. No, my mom spoke about it a little bit. But my mom was we were on welfare. We were on wig like I we you know, there were times when we didn't have anything to eat, but she would never tell her family because to her like I have it all together. I'm not gonna ask anyone for a handout and then they're gonna.
00:07:33
Speaker 2: Throw it in my face.
00:07:33
Speaker 3: Yeah no, she yeah, She's just like I'm gonna make this happen. And she always did. Like I'm like, how does she make every holiday special?
00:07:41
Speaker 2: Even if like we didn't.
00:07:42
Speaker 1: Have anything and you didn't know.
00:07:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.
00:07:45
Speaker 3: Just like she was really like hard working in that sense. But what was there then a girl? I got sidetracked, hold on what.
00:07:51
Speaker 1: Was she became a mega supers? What was the transition or like what do you remember, like now your mom's like, yes, superstar.
00:07:57
Speaker 3: Well, I was ten, ten years old when she started singing, and I remember going to school and you know.
00:08:04
Speaker 2: The folders that had like the little inserts, the inserts where you can put pictures.
00:08:08
Speaker 3: So I had a picture of my mom and I didn't carry and I was so proud and they're like, who's that. I'm like, this is my mom. She's gonna be famous one day. And they were like what they would make fun of me there? I was bullied girl since I could like remember if it wasn't but my weight, it was because I didn't have like the coolest shoes because again we didn't have you know, I mean, I had my little painless shoes and yeah, just you know, they had their felas and their La gears and I didn't get those till later. But you know, they're like, oh yeah, yeah, right then she becomes this megastar. At when I was sixteen years old, it started happening. That was when my youngest brother, Johnny was born. So I kind of took over like that was my kid because my mom was doing her thing, and I just saw little by little she would stop singing and then she's like no, I would go back. It would just call her back, and then it just became what it is now. Slowly. It was a slow burn, but like it was look at her, like I feel like she's just a light that's I mean, undeniable.
00:09:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's still shining and.
00:09:04
Speaker 2: She's still exactly.
00:09:06
Speaker 3: So it was it had its hard moments because she was out so much, you know, and missed a lot of important days, and I kind of resented her career for it. But now that I understand now, I have a lot more compassion and I feel bad that I was so tough on her sometimes because we were tough on each other. It wasn't just her, I was tough on her too.
00:09:25
Speaker 2: Well.
00:09:25
Speaker 1: I think that's that's the reality of like getting older too. Like I've had those moments with my mom too, where I didn't understand her or her choices until becoming a mother or like becoming of age, and I'm like, damn, like she just she did the best that she could, you know what I mean, and you look at them. Yeah, but for a long time I had a lot of resentment for my mom too. Yeah. And it's funny because like you get older and then everything that you that like your parents thought or felt, then you're like, I get it exactly.
00:09:52
Speaker 2: I've had so many moments like that. I'm like, damn, she was right yeah.
00:09:56
Speaker 1: I also know you've been very open about being sexually abused by your dad. How do you I mean, I'm assuming it's an ongoing trauma and healing.
00:10:09
Speaker 3: You know, that was thank goodness for my mom. So when it first happened, I was eight, and I didn't talk about it for the first time until I was ten with one of my mom's only sister and then just to find out that she was also being molested by him. And then it came out when I was twelve. We went to church and you know, like we were very Christian and we worked. That's a whole other subject, but anyway, we were Christian and there was a prophet and the prophet was praying for my aunt, and it all came out in that way, like in front of the church and there were yes. So then I think they let two weeks pass by.
00:10:46
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden your mom was there.
00:10:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, my mom, my grandma.
00:10:49
Speaker 1: And this least the first time your mom's hearing about it too.
00:10:51
Speaker 3: Everyone her and I had kept the secret. She's like, Okay, if it ever happens again, you tell me and we have to stop it. I never told her because I was so scared. I was like, oh my gosh, I don't want to lose my dad. I know how my mom, my mom's temper, My mom's gonna kill him. Yeah, you know, and my dad. I thought of all these things when at ten years old.
00:11:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I didn't keep my promise because I didn't tell her.
00:11:11
Speaker 3: And so anyhow, they had like a family meeting and they asked her about it, and she came clean and that's how it all happened.
00:11:17
Speaker 1: So that was how did your mom react?
00:11:20
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, girl, Well, if it wasn't for Jenica, she was pregnant with my sister Jenica. She was like, what seven eight months something like that, and she was full on belly. If it hadn't been for her being pregnant, there would have been nothing that would have stopped my mom from going and handling business herself. Like I know it, like God knows when and how he does everything. Because the detectives were like, you can't say anything, you have to pretend like everything's fine. She's like, well, how am I supposed to send my kids over there? She's like, make an excuse, but we have to do our investigation. Of course, those things take time. So she he felt it's like something's wrong, something's off for like a month. And it wasn't till that year two thousand and seven, October thirty first I remember because it was Halloween. My mom just couldn't hold it.
00:12:06
Speaker 2: She's like, I already know what you did. I know what you did to my sister, to my daughter. I'm going to get you, dude.
00:12:11
Speaker 3: That was Halloween night. The next day they go and look for my dad. His house was empty, nowhere to.
00:12:17
Speaker 1: Be found, no way.
00:12:18
Speaker 2: He last ten years on the run.
00:12:20
Speaker 3: For ten years, and then my mom became this mega superstar. And when she became more famous, she got more respect, so she was able to have people help her. There was this one detective.
00:12:31
Speaker 1: She tracked him down, tracked me.
00:12:33
Speaker 3: I don't know that, like on a radio station she was at having an interview and she was telling her story and he's like, I don't know where he is. And the detective called and said, hey, I want to help you find him. He's the one that found my dad. And that was yeah, wait, no, ninety seven, I'm sorry. So that happened in ninety seven. He wasn't caught until two thousand and seven. That's when we started going to court girl. It was a whole thing. It was so crazy.
00:13:04
Speaker 1: Okay, so now your dad, I'm like just like shocked, right, but okay, so now your dad goes to jail, And was that in a way, like were you Like, I know it's like bitter suit, but it's like were you Did you feel peace like with him going to jail?
00:13:20
Speaker 3: A lot of sadness Like I it's so weird because I know this is a touchy subject, but I never held a resentment toward him, like I forgave him even when he didn't ask me for forgiveness, Like I just knew because I had been raised in church and my mom never allowed what happened to me affect me so much to the point where it's like you're not gonna be You're a victim, but you're not gonna be vic You're not gonna victimize yourself sort of thing.
00:13:45
Speaker 2: So that helped a lot.
00:13:46
Speaker 3: So when it happened, I was just like, dude, I'm already like twenty something and I just don't really like it's fine, like let's just let him be. My mom was like, no, he needs to pay. We need justice and more than anything for your aunt. And so I did the whole testimony and everything.
00:14:04
Speaker 2: So it hurt me.
00:14:05
Speaker 3: It was weird because I should be mad at this person, but I never really was. I felt bad for him.
00:14:11
Speaker 1: You know. It's so crazy because like I always feel like when I speak to other Latinas, like we've lived very similar lives. My mom and her and her sister were a victim of rape as well, and I'll solve it or through mutual family members because their parents died at a very young age and they were passed on to like the theas and and you know, so they dealt with that too. And I know that you are in therapy or you went to therapy, right, And I feel like our community is like we look down on therapy, like we're not Like I feel like I need therapy myself, but I feel like I don't even know where to start. And my fear is like just telling a random person all of my I get it, you know, dishing everything out, and then I'm.
00:14:59
Speaker 3: Like that, yeah, but it's someone that could never ever say anything, and it's always to me, it's almost.
00:15:06
Speaker 1: How do you find the right therapist?
00:15:09
Speaker 2: That's a good question.
00:15:10
Speaker 3: I've had, truth be told, I've had a lot of therapy I've had a lot of therapists because it's you have to find it's it's not just one fits for everyone. Yeah, I knew I needed a female and.
00:15:25
Speaker 2: It took a while.
00:15:26
Speaker 3: So I think I just found my new therapist what like a year ago, So.
00:15:30
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Often are you seeing this therapist?
00:15:33
Speaker 3: It depends. I try to see her right now. I feel like my tune ups. Now I'm doing life coaching. So I feel like I did therapy for a long time, and I would do therapy like once a month, depending on how much I needed it or I'm like, hey, I need a session, But I think like once quarterly is good to kind of like hey, this is what I'm feeling, because therapy is more of like these these are my thoughts, my feelings, and they're supposed to just listen and maybe give you some sort of like guidance. But life coaching they give you actual tools, which I'm like, okay, cool, now I'm ready.
00:16:02
Speaker 2: For this part.
00:16:02
Speaker 3: So I think both are equally important. But there's websites. There's like I can tell you, I mean a mine is great.
00:16:10
Speaker 1: I don't know, No, I feel like I definitely want to start just for myself and just for my kids and just to you know, handle situations better or just things that I notice now that because I'm very self aware, and I think a lot of people are not self aware or don't really know them, you know. So I know what triggers me where everything stems from our childhood and you know a lot of things that I feel like I'm dealing with my mom's traumas that I feel like, damn, like I need to talk to somebody about this, you know what I mean, because I just hold it in. And the only person that I really I feel like talk to my issues about about like family stuff is my sister because she lived it. But we lived two different lives because they always say like no sibling has the same parents, no sibling has the same experience, and we really do. Like when we've been sharing more recently, actually like out of nowhere, I've been very like I need to see my sister. My sigil is in Nashville. She ran away. She ran away from home when she was sixteen. I was six years old. We're ten years apart, and I'm now like at an age where I'm like, damn, like I miss my sister. I need to like, you know, we need to be closer. I need to like bring her over here. So I've been I just took her to All Salvador and we're having now like these deep thoughts. We're at talks where she's telling me her experience about this and I'm telling her my experience and it's totally different, you know, and it's it just blows my mind. But I'm like, damn, I'm like, we need therapy, and we my mom needs therapy, you know, and like but telling you know, telling her mom that she's like stars Loca, like you know what I mean, And I'm like, yeah, I know, I still know. I'm like, oh, like how do I cause in our culture, it's just not it's not a thing, you know. And also too, like another thing that you were saying, like your mom was like, we're not you know, something very traumatic happened to you, but you're not going to be a victim. And I think in our community, we don't play the victim card, even though we were victims of a lot of things. And I think I see that also in my relationships, where like if people are playing the victim and they're like, to me, it's not a reason to play victim. I'm like, what is wrong with you? Like people have real life problems. Get it together, do you know what I mean? Yeah? Because I feel like because I feel like we don't make excuses like we have. We are parents from like being immigrants, like they have gone through so much and we figure it out. And I just think it's part of our It truly is part of our culture.
00:18:30
Speaker 3: Being like just hustling and getting things done because we have to. There's another choice.
00:18:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but therapy, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna look into it.
00:18:37
Speaker 3: I think life coaching would be great for you. Yeah, life coaching, because I feel like, if you are emotionally intelligent and self aware, I think life coaching would be great.
00:18:45
Speaker 2: And I have the perfect person because.
00:18:46
Speaker 1: Okay, sure that I have to tell you, I have to.
00:18:49
Speaker 2: I definitely have to share. She's amazing.
00:18:51
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, Okay, I just got so sidetrack because I'm like, this is like the talk that I did. I did. I didn't know I needed for therapy.
00:19:00
Speaker 2: My gosh, well girl, I'm here.
00:19:04
Speaker 1: So you clearly have gone through so many hard moments in your life, the hardest one probably being losing your mom and twenty twelve. Right, and you guys were not on speaking terms, right, I'm so sorry.
00:19:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like it was tough, but I think, goodness, I feel that. Oh my gosh, thank god.
00:19:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was.
00:19:21
Speaker 3: It was something that was difficult for me for a long time. I was very upset with my mom.
00:19:26
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:19:26
Speaker 3: I would go in and out with like, Okay, obviously she was the most important love in my life. But then there were times where I'm just like, oh my goodness, you hurt. This hurt me so much. I was upset and women.
00:19:35
Speaker 1: Were not speaking terms because of the rumor that you had slept with her husband or current husband.
00:19:41
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, they never got divorced. We're still married, so yeah, that which obviously is not true.
00:19:47
Speaker 2: I ever ever would have done that ever.
00:19:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was like the people around her that were like whispering.
00:19:54
Speaker 3: We're jealous of our relationship. My mom and I were like this, I.
00:19:58
Speaker 1: Was my mom is right, is like the biggest disease. It is so good, Oh my god.
00:20:03
Speaker 3: It is just like it's especially amongst women. And I think it was a series of people. Like now that I look back, I'm like, it wasn't just one person. There was a lot of people wanting me out evil evil, But then I see their lives now and I'm like, like.
00:20:20
Speaker 1: I don't wish you harm, but what everything comes? Yep, everything comes closed to go. I always say that, And my daddy's always telling that. As a child, He's always teld me do good and good will come to you. He always like, that's all that matters. And God says everything, and I live by that. I'm like, I'm not going to go out of my way to harm you, to do none of that, because life itself. I always say, like, God truly has my back, like he will humble you every time. Yep.
00:20:47
Speaker 2: But I don't mess with me because God.
00:20:48
Speaker 1: I'm like, God loves me. I'm just letting you know, tread lightly exactly.
00:20:53
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't mess with me.
00:20:54
Speaker 3: But yeah, my mom and I weren't speaking for two months before she passed and then and obviously that was I couldn't I just could not believe that I was not ever going to have that moment to tell her mom. Look, this is all of my evidence. Yeah that that wasn't the first time she had stopped talking about My Mom's lessons were very hard. My mom was like Okay, I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna I'm gonna make you miss me. So she had done that to me when I turned fifteen for two months, so it was I felt like it's one of those things again, it'll come around.
00:21:23
Speaker 1: But then my mom was like that too, the really yes, I'm telling you. I feel like we've lived with the similar things. My mom lost my brother. My mom had a baby after me, and she delivered the baby and the baby was dead and it was the most traumatic thing. I was like in middle school and we named Jason Joel. I have a J on the side where it was like my first tad too. I got it in high school and to this day, people are like, why do you have a J? But like people don't really know that. Like my brother died and my mom was never the same after that. So she left. She left to San Francisco. That was the year that I got my period. That like she just and I was I resented her so much, my how could you just leave your kid? And then I remember one time she called me and she'd have a phone it was like from like a payphone or something, you know, and I was crying because I was like and she was like, if you cry, I'm not going to call you again, and she just like hung up and I was like it, like no, it like it messed with me for so many years until I became a mother. I was like, damn, Like she probably had postpartum. She probably like now like I truly, but for a long time I did. I did resent her and like it was just not good. So yeah, everything that like not talking to you though all like it. It's like a I don't know, it's like a weird form of love.
00:22:35
Speaker 2: It's also there like way of surviving. Yeah, you know what I mean. Now I understand.
00:22:39
Speaker 3: I'm like it's okay, Like I I finally let it go where I'm like, yeah, I mad like I'm understanding. I understand and I now I know why God like how everything happened, and I wouldn't change it. As weird as that sounds, I'm like, it's truly made me the person that I am today.
00:22:56
Speaker 1: Same, I feel I feel the exact same. I'm like, I wouldn't change not one.
00:22:59
Speaker 2: Experience, that one thing, as much as it hurt.
00:23:01
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm so strong. And then I also feel like because of how I was raised and how all the little things. I feel like a lot of people are not okay alone. I'm truly okay alone. Yeah, Like is that weird?
00:23:15
Speaker 2: You're the same, But that's when you you're like, you're good with yourself.
00:23:18
Speaker 1: I love being by myself. Like I'm like and I run such a tight ship, like even in like my relationships or like what I'm like, I don't tolerate like disrespect. Yeah, like I'm very like, nope, don't me, don't stuck with me.
00:23:36
Speaker 2: I love it.
00:23:38
Speaker 1: So when your mom, did, I feel like you took on the role of like your mom to your siblings.
00:23:43
Speaker 3: Yes, it actually started when I was ten. I was always like the second mom to all my siblings, like I'm the oldest of five. So Johnny, as soon as he was born, my mom's like, okay, I gotta go back to work.
00:23:52
Speaker 2: This is your son.
00:23:53
Speaker 3: And he and my son, and he lived with me and I raised him. So when this whole thing happened with my mom and I, they weren't allowed to talk to me. It was very difficult on all of us because imagine, like we were so close with such a close family. But Johnny would find a way to call me, you know, my siblings. So yeah, and he was when my mom passed, he was eleven and Jenica was fifteen.
00:24:14
Speaker 2: So I took over.
00:24:15
Speaker 3: Right away my mom no one like imagine my entire family. Yeah, was like on my mom's side because she was the one that was at the power and that's just the way it worked.
00:24:25
Speaker 1: And also she also like took you out the well right.
00:24:27
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, she also did, which is one of the best things she ever did for me, because I was like, all right, I'm gonna make this shit happen.
00:24:32
Speaker 2: You taught me everything I needed. No, Mom, don't even trip. I got like, I'm I'm good.
00:24:38
Speaker 3: But yeah, I didn't get custody of them, like on paper until like two years later. But I was there, like I as soon as I found out that my mom was we couldn't find the plane, I said, I don't care if no, if you guys don't want me at my grandma's house, like Johnny called me, I think it was. Jennica actually was like, sister, I need you here, and I hadn't heard from her in a while, so I said, don't even worry.
00:24:58
Speaker 2: I went, and from that day forward, I was there.
00:25:01
Speaker 3: I was like, these are my kids and which always was like a question, and now I have the answer and I'll share it whenever I'm ready, because I you know, but there's no way in the world that my mom would have not left those kids to me. There's no one else that she trusted more.
00:25:17
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:25:18
Speaker 3: So to me, every time I saw it was like, Okay, the will, that's fine, cool, I'm a work. But as far as custody of the most important, precious things in her life, it never made sense.
00:25:28
Speaker 2: I'm like to answer her sister, Oh, and.
00:25:32
Speaker 1: That's a fight for that custody.
00:25:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know what, Rosie is her name, my mom's sister. She just gave it to me. She said, you know what, there's no one else that could take care of these kids better things. She never fought me on this, evank God, And it was easy. And I'm like, that's all I needed because it was so difficult. I'm like, imagine having all this like I mean, I could do anything with them, and then I had to go ask for permission. That was so difficult for me. Then I got custody. I was like, oh and now, yeah, now they're all grown up, these damn kids.
00:26:00
Speaker 1: You have been a mother.
00:26:01
Speaker 2: That's no mother yeah, I just haven't.
00:26:03
Speaker 1: You're such an old soul too, like to be that wise, Like even at ten, I feel like my daughter's like that's a very old soul. Like she takes care of her little brother like not a normal ten year old would.
00:26:13
Speaker 2: Okay, Like it's very something that she's known.
00:26:16
Speaker 1: And I always say, like, if something were to happen to me, like I we talk about everything, I'm like, this is yours. You make sure your brother's good. Like she's very like intuitive and very above her ears, you know, so like that's very very special. And you're the oldest. Yeah, she's the oldest too. And then obviously grief, it like comes in waves and it's very unpredictable. Have you lost anybody else other than your mom?
00:26:43
Speaker 3: Well, the first loss was my stepdad, Johnny and Jenica's dad. He passed two years before, so that was kind of I think prepared us for my mom.
00:26:50
Speaker 2: But after my mom, how did he die?
00:26:53
Speaker 3: He got he was incarcerated and he got bit by like a spider and then just got like a really bad fever and then it went turned into pnemon.
00:27:00
Speaker 2: It was the weirdest thing. So young.
00:27:02
Speaker 3: He was so young, I think like thirty five, if I'm not mistaken. So yeah, that happened two years. But that was like the biggest loss, and my mom did not know how to even I had to tell the kids. I was like, hey, your dad's gone. She didn't know how to handle it. Yeah, but I feel like that was also preparing us for what was coming with my mom, which is crazy to even think about. But after my mom, no, I've just I've had grief in other ways like relationships and.
00:27:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, family members and yeah.
00:27:30
Speaker 1: Did you go to therapy for grief about your mom? Yeah? Yeah, sure I.
00:27:35
Speaker 3: Needed it because I was very suicidal for a little bit. Yeah, it wasn't especially those two months when we weren't speaking. I thought about taking my life. I was on watch my friends. Thank god for them, girl. They would like they would not leave me. I was not alone for a whole month because it was like, hey, your shift and I didn't know this was going on. I just knew someone was always with me. Yeah, but they knew if they left.
00:27:58
Speaker 1: Me alone, what a dark play?
00:27:59
Speaker 2: Was so bad.
00:28:00
Speaker 3: It was so bad, and thank god nothing ever happened. My therapist, like two weeks before my mom passed away, said you know what you need to start living your life as if she's no longer here and I'm like how what? And then she passed. It was it's just I don't know. I mean, thank goodness, I feel like so much closer to her now. But yeah, therapy definitely helped me a lot.
00:28:31
Speaker 1: I went through like I'm just like an a of you. Okay, let's let's talk into like your music career now because you are dropping. Yeah, let's lighten the mood up. Although yesterday I just was like I always like to do like my research on like you know, my gas and stuff, and obviously I've been knowing of you and I feel like I see some stuff come up, like the podcast stuff and like you know, like some talks with your sisters. But yesterday I went on your TikTok and girl was crying. I saw your it was like your last TikTok about like the Malibu song, and I was it was like I couldn't sleep last night, I don't know, and I was like, oh, let me look at Cheeky's TikTok and I'm like balling, okay, bawling because I was like you you were just like you know, I DMed her and like you know, so many people said no to collab with me, and then this person said yes, and just like the yes, you know what I mean, like having that yes, and then I got it and I want to cry because I have like another one after you. But beautiful, I think that, you know, it's so meaningful that one person that had that says the yes. Believe you know that belize anyone really opens the door and just is like, you know, by the way, the song from what I heard in the background, it sounds like, yeah, it sounds so guys to hear, but yeah, you had me crying yesterday and crying now like a okay.
00:30:00
Speaker 3: It was such a genuine moment and I had I tell yeah, like I was like, I'm just going to record this because I'm so grateful, like I want people to to I want to show God's greatness and how I've been through a lot. Yes, but you know what, like I've always stayed so just grounded and rooted in my light, in my faith that has helped me and gotten me through. So this was just like a moment of like being validated, you know. And I and someone had told me you like, oh, maybe you should remove it. Maybe that's too personal and I let that get to me and I did and I archived, and then the next morning I thought, I'm like, this is what this album is all about.
00:30:37
Speaker 2: It's about being vulnerable and grateful.
00:30:40
Speaker 1: And no, I felt that through a TikTok video, you know what I mean.
00:30:44
Speaker 2: So this is confirmation.
00:30:45
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know your album drops on the thirty. I'm like, I can't wait to listen to it. But I was really like it hit me last night where I was like, damn, like this is what life is about, you know what I mean, and like saying yes to people and putting them on and like just like opening the door because you like, she doesn't know you know that she was your yes a lot, you know what I mean exactly, and just being that special like yes.
00:31:07
Speaker 2: She's gonna be my forever yet so much it was so awesome.
00:31:12
Speaker 1: So you have three Latin Grammys under your belt. Yes, congratulations, thank.
00:31:16
Speaker 2: You so much.
00:31:17
Speaker 1: Did you when your mom was alive, did you always want to go into music or no?
00:31:22
Speaker 2: Yes, she knew. She knew that for a long time.
00:31:25
Speaker 3: I was like no because I was again resentful with the like industry and end her career. But like it wasn't until I was maybe nineteen twenty where I was like, Mom, I kind of want to try this, But she always said this career, I don't want this for you. It's too hard. I don't want you to go through what I went through. But if that's what you want, we'll find the time. Right now, we're focused on Mama. So because I was, I was just the one there, you know, taking care of everything. But then I was like, I need to try this, and so she was well aware the plan was for her to become a manager at some point.
00:31:58
Speaker 1: Do you feel like it's a little like daunting like her, like you being compared to her, or do you feel like you're in your own lane and they don't.
00:32:06
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:32:06
Speaker 3: For a long time, I wanted everything, I wanted to do everything to not be compared to her because I felt like I was in her shadow.
00:32:15
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:32:15
Speaker 3: Now I could tell you when they tell me I look like my mom, or I sound like my mom, or I like I'm now, I'm like, hell, yeah.
00:32:20
Speaker 2: That's my mom.
00:32:21
Speaker 1: Yeh heck yeah.
00:32:23
Speaker 3: I fought it so much that now I'm just leaning into it. And now that especially with this album, because this is the album of like this is Janey. This is like really my sound fan.
00:32:32
Speaker 2: That I love it. Yeah, it's part of my life.
00:32:35
Speaker 3: But it was my survival, like I needed to do what I had to do, you know, to like survive.
00:32:40
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:32:41
Speaker 3: So so I'm grateful, but now I now I like it. Now I'm like, you know what, Yeah, that's my mom and I'm proud. And before I it like, oh you want to be like your mom? Well you whatever, and I'm like I would fight it so much, but now I'm like, there's nothing to fight. Heck.
00:32:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's badass.
00:32:57
Speaker 1: Yeah that's why I look now like she's so much. Yeah, I know she's so proud of you.
00:33:01
Speaker 2: She's like she did not give up that as my damn. I already know it. I feel it.
00:33:05
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. Yeah. Also when you were singing you know, your Spanish dabanda the banda, I feel like that's such a male dominated yes, you know, super like my cheese more like, you know, how did you feel like being in such a space where it's so male dominated. Well like your mom obviously.
00:33:26
Speaker 3: Did it, and that's that was like it wasn't scared, Yeah, because I'm like my mom paved the way. My mom made it possible I know I could do this, and I'm going to say it was easy because it wasn't. It was far from it. It was an uphill battle, I think from the beginning of my career up until the end. But I mean not the end, because I'm still going to do on that obviously, you know. But yes, I will tell you they don't want you to.
00:33:53
Speaker 2: Sing certain songs and they don't want you.
00:33:55
Speaker 3: To dress a certain way. But I went against all that. I said, no, I don't. I'm gonna do whatever I want because I have the best example, which is my mother.
00:34:05
Speaker 1: Yeah. What do you think is your biggest asset to your success? Like what's made you successful?
00:34:11
Speaker 3: M Wow, that's a good question. I think more than anything obviously, the great the discipline. I'm very disciplined, but I just I always kept my heart in the right place, like I always made sure that I did my heart check of like I don't want to.
00:34:29
Speaker 1: Screw it heart, heart chakra, my heart.
00:34:31
Speaker 3: Shocking Exactly'm like this, Am I doing this because I have peace with this? Or am I doing it to please others? And a lot of time I was doing it to please others. I was a big people please. I'm still working on that, but I think it's just knowing, like Okay.
00:34:44
Speaker 1: I think it's a cancer thing.
00:34:45
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:34:46
Speaker 1: Maybe because my man's the same way, and I'm like, you need to stop.
00:34:49
Speaker 2: Like because we just want to make every wee la.
00:34:51
Speaker 1: Pisses me off sometimes, yes, because I'm like, he's so nice as someone as they take advantage of him, and I'm like, I'm like, oh, you guys will be like hold up, Oh no, I don't. I don't like like bullshit, Like I'm a bull you know, so like I don't like bullshit just passed by anybody that loves I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not gonna do And like I'm very like assertive in that way where I'm like.
00:35:11
Speaker 2: You guys, no, yeah, you're not You're not especially.
00:35:15
Speaker 1: Yeah no, no. That the friends, the homies that were like, you know, but he was an NBA player, so like you know, they always have the homies that'll take advantage or want this or that. I'm like, we cut all of those out the window out.
00:35:30
Speaker 3: Are you working on anything, Nel, Yes, I have a big plan that I'm going to announce hopefully at the end of the year, but right now the focus is this album and doing some shows around this album.
00:35:44
Speaker 1: I just even do some shows.
00:35:46
Speaker 2: Yes, well, I was. I had a whole tour plan, girl, I had a whole tour.
00:35:50
Speaker 1: Plan, and I pulled the plug going on tour.
00:35:53
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm going to I was like, you know what, let me postpone because I want to prepare more. So it was supposed to happen in May. Now it's not going to happen until the end of the year. But I feel good about the decision. That's another thing I'm working on. I'm like, you know what, I need to be more gracefully assertive, especially like you know, because we get stuck in oh these people know more than uses, and I'm like, no, I need to follow my intuition. I talk about this all the time. I need to practice what I preach. Yea, So I said, you know what doesn't feel right right now, and let's move it. So I'm working on that right now, currently, getting that whole show together, because it's going to be more of like a wellness situation.
00:36:26
Speaker 1: You please, I'm there.
00:36:28
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so it's just that right now, and you know, a lot of baby making, you know, just doing our best to just have fun.
00:36:35
Speaker 1: Okay. Yeah, So I'm sending you goodvies. You're going to be the best mom by the way you already are to your siblings. So like, I can't wait, I can't wait. I hope you have a girl first.
00:36:47
Speaker 2: Yes, I know, I have a feeling it'll be.
00:36:48
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I'm like, I see a girl.
00:36:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, you're very intuitive.
00:36:53
Speaker 1: I'm very intuitive, and I go by the Chinese calendar.
00:36:55
Speaker 2: If you can, I do. I always go by the Chinese calendar.
00:37:00
Speaker 1: This is crazy, because this is crazy. I told you, I just felt something like, Okay, I love it. So make sure you like plan for like a tourist's okay, exactly. But you have such an incredible story. Thank you for sharing with us. So before we leave, I always ask my guests to drop a gem, so like anything you want, any advice, anything that resonates with you or like where you're at in your life. I love that dropping gems.
00:37:28
Speaker 2: For dropping gems, it's gonna leave some little fairy dusty.
00:37:30
Speaker 3: Yes, well, I mean I think if I could speak to all the women out there, because obviously I am a woman, which I love being a woman because it's like, oh, I think it's not an easy job.
00:37:48
Speaker 2: We're superheroes, but we're superheroes guys. We are life literally life.
00:37:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, So all I could say is, I've seen this a lot of my industry. A lot is a lot of jealousy and envy. If we were just to just support one another, uplift one another, empower one another more, and not speak bad about each other when we're not present, Like, I think that's just gonna raise just the strength between women. That's like my biggest goal right now. And not to compare ourselves. I think we compare ourselves and I've done this a lot to the progress of like this person is here at this age, and it's just like we have to just not do that. And that's something that has helped me so much, and I have to remind myself of that because then that causes us to like not really work internally and really fix the things that are most important because we're so worried about everyone else. Let people shine. There's enough light, more than enough light for all of us.
00:38:46
Speaker 1: I always say that would for you, always be for you, and can take it from you, no one can take it from.
00:38:50
Speaker 2: That's that's the power that we have.
00:38:52
Speaker 3: So that's all just tap into that power, to that intuition and yeah, peace and I'm.
00:38:58
Speaker 1: Saying against a Lots is a Hyphenet Media Group production in partnership with Iheartsmikutura podcast Network. For more of your favorite shows, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
