ABOUT THIS EPISODE
What does it really mean to leave a legacy as a father?
In this episode of After Bedtime Podcast, Jeremy Givens welcomes back father, grandfather, mentor and man of faith Demetrius Colbert for a deep conversation about what we pass from one generation to the next.
Demetrius offers a powerful distinction:
“It’s cool if I leave my kids something financially. It’s better if I leave something in my kids and not just to my kids.”
That idea becomes the foundation for a conversation about family, faith, Black fatherhood, vulnerability, generational growth and the experiences that shape who our children eventually become.
Demetrius identifies four principles he wants at the foundation of his family:
Faith. Vulnerability. Transparency. Honesty.
He explains why his children needed to see more than his accomplishments—they needed to see his struggles, his mistakes, his emotions and his willingness to apologize when he got something wrong. For Demetrius, vulnerability doesn't diminish masculinity; it's part of being accountable and responsible as a man and father.
Jeremy and Demetrius also explore what happens when the next generation parents differently.
Demetrius sees things his daughters are doing with their own children that he wishes he had done when they were young. Instead of viewing that difference as rejection, he sees it as evolution: the values can remain while the methods improve.
The conversation eventually turns toward history, resilience and what Demetrius calls “the box”—the environments, limitations and experiences that shaped previous generations. Rather than simply rejecting that past, Demetrius discusses appreciating it as part of understanding how far you've come.
And one lesson Jeremy says he has carried from Demetrius for years:
“Discipline is not measured when things are good. Discipline is measured when things are bad.”
This is a conversation about becoming—not perfection.
About honoring where you came from without being confined by it.
And about building something inside your children that can continue long after you're gone.
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