Full Transcript for Navigating Dementia Diagnoses: The Gem States of Brain Change Explained

not quite sure sometimes where to go, or they just got a diagnosis with a family member, and it's like, look, I'm not sure where to go, but I know I need some help, and we'll find a starting point. 00:04:16.639 --> 00:04:23.519 Or as I mentioned, there's a sticky situation happening and they'll reach out for an introductory 30-minute consult. 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:25.279 A lot of folks start that way. 00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:29.519 Other folks start with our champion course, which run twice a month online. 00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:31.600 It's interactive, live through Zoom. 00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:35.839 And again, we do that because we get to reach a global audience that way. 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:41.600 And it's it's really core foundational understanding brain change, but also what do I do about it? 00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:44.639 Because there are plenty of places where you can learn about brain change. 00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:47.920 What we really strive for is what's something practical you can take away? 00:04:48.079 --> 00:04:57.680 You spend four hours with us, and we really want you to be able to get up out of your seat after that class and then go try something with dad or go try something when you're back at work tomorrow if you're a professional. 00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:09.439 Because there's plenty of theory out there, and we have some of that, but we also want practical skills for folks because if you're interacting with someone, you get to kind of be more skillful typically in understanding what's happening. 00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:18.319 So, professional-wise, Bob, folks also do reach out to us for things like, hey, can you come out and do a one-day session with my team? 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:22.000 It's some of the things that we've been doing recently in Michigan, which are are super exciting. 00:05:22.079 --> 00:05:27.759 So if you're a professional, you can still start at those Tuesday champions, and usually we get a little deeper after that first time. 00:05:28.079 --> 00:05:28.160 Okay. 00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:34.079 Can you tell us a little bit about the GEM state of brain change, GEMS? 00:05:34.319 --> 00:05:42.079 So for those that aren't familiar with that, if you can kind of explain what that is and how that impacts a lot of what you guys talk about. 00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:42.560 Yeah. 00:05:42.639 --> 00:05:50.000 So our GEM state model, I'll start with saying it's capitalized if you're Googling it out there or looking for it, but it's not an acronym. 00:05:50.399 --> 00:06:04.399 It really is our effort to make this idea of brain change related to dementia, but brain change overall really just applicable and not so I'm gonna use I'm gonna use the word not so specific. 00:06:04.879 --> 00:06:05.199 Okay. 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:12.560 Because for a lot of folks that we meet, you're getting a diagnosis or someone has a diagnosis and they're either early, middle, or late. 00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:16.240 And that's great to know,

but how much detail does it give you? 00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:17.600 Well, not much typically. 00:06:17.839 --> 00:06:20.079 And that also draws a line in the sand. 00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:27.839 And the line in the sand between folks living with brain change related to dementia and other folks isn't there until someone receives a diagnosis. 00:06:27.920 --> 00:06:29.279 But the brain change is already there. 00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:33.279 I mean, the thing was there before the doctor came in and let you know whatever he found in the scans. 00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:40.000 And so TIPA created the gem state model to start to recognize A, that everyone is living in brain change. 00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:44.000 Just some folks are living with a brain change related to a dementia. 00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:45.600 And it still includes me. 00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:48.639 I'm still in the picture, but it's not a line in the sand kind of thing. 00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:53.600 I check in on my gem state, hopefully every day, but I also check in on other people's gem state. 00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:56.959 So we want to get a little more specific with what people's abilities are. 00:06:57.120 --> 00:07:00.240 Because Bob, if I told you, hey Bob, you're gonna work with Savannah today. 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:04.560 Now she's not got much language, and look out because she's real omri. 00:07:04.959 --> 00:07:07.040 And you know, so don't cross her. 00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:11.040 Now that's unfortunately the way people are being described out there living with. 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:16.399 But if I told you, hey, Bob, she's more in a diamond state this morning. 00:07:16.639 --> 00:07:20.959 So really quick on the stuff, the routine stuff is like really good for her to do. 00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:23.519 What's it feel like, Bob, one one way versus the other? 00:07:23.839 --> 00:07:26.879 So certainly more positive, more person centered. 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:27.600 Yeah. 00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:32.240 Because I can't bring back the stuff that Savannah can't do anymore. 00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:34.240 So why am I so focused in on it? 00:07:34.319 --> 00:07:37.040 I mean, if she can't do that, let's go with what she can do. 00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:38.959 And that's really about our gem states model. 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:42.720 What people can do, and how do I help them use those skills? 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:45.279 Can you tell us a little bit more about the gems? 00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:49.680 So you mentioned diamond, just kind of give us, and I I know there's a lot to it. 00:07:49.839 --> 00:08:00.399 There's uh there's books and on this, so we can't go through everything extensively, but can you give us just kind of an overview of some of the gems and and how you use that terminology? 00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:05.040 Yeah, so so the gems states, there are six states, right? 00:08:05.199 --> 00:08:09.680 And we use the word state very specifically, because if you're in a state, you

can move. 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:12.959 I mean, it might be tough, it might be easy sometimes, but you can move. 00:08:13.040 --> 00:08:16.160 You're not locked into a place, and neither are people living in dementia. 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:21.839 I mean, if you've had experiences with people living in dementia, you'll know they're still human and their brains change for many reasons. 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:25.439 So the names actually are representative of the brain states. 00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:30.240 And so we start in a sapphire state, and then we move to a diamond state, an emerald state. 00:08:30.399 --> 00:08:33.919 And then the other three gem states are amber, ruby, and pearl. 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:38.559 And so they are really gems with unique colors and unique qualities to them. 00:08:38.720 --> 00:08:42.320 And Tipa's thought was, well, I don't want to put numbers to them. 00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:42.799 Yeah. 00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:48.399 Because if if Bob's a one and I'm a three, well, how does that feel when I tell the family that? 00:08:48.480 --> 00:08:51.919 How does it feel for Bob when he understands that he's one or three? 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:54.240 And is one in one scale better than the other one? 00:08:54.399 --> 00:08:59.600 I mean, there are multiple scales out there where people are trying to recognize where someone living with dementia is. 00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:02.320 And if you got a low number in one, that's where you want to be. 00:09:02.480 --> 00:09:04.960 And if you got a high number in the other one, that's where you want to be. 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:16.320 So trying to take away the number stigma thing because I'm pretty sure if you're listening to this and you opened up a box and you got a ruby in there, you'd be just as happy as if you opened the box and you got a pearl or a sapphire. 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:19.759 I mean, they all have good qualities to them and you'd be happy with them. 00:09:19.919 --> 00:09:21.759 So those are our six, and I'll go back through them. 00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:27.440 So it's sapphire, diamond, emerald, and then amber, ruby, and pearl are those gem states. 00:09:27.519 --> 00:09:29.919 But we use that again, that state name very specifically. 00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:32.000 We aren't trying to lock people into boxes. 00:09:32.159 --> 00:09:33.919 I just want to recognize where people are. 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:38.399 And now you you said something uh that I wanted to highlight a second ago. 00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:40.799 You said had been diagnosed with a dementia. 00:09:40.879 --> 00:09:42.399 And I think that's important. 00:09:42.639 --> 00:09:48.879 You know, most of our listeners will recognize that dementia is sort of a category of different diagnosis. 00:09:48.960 --> 00:09:58.159 And so how would the gem states relate to different categories like vascular versus Alzheimer's versus Louis body versus frontal temporal or things like that? 00:09:58.480 --> 00:10:04.080 Super good question, Bob, because you're right that there's this big umbrella with all these different dementias under them. 00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:09.919 And our gem state models kind of cover the whole umbrella because we're trying to cover all these brain states, right? 00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:13.840 And I mentioned, look, we use it for people who aren't living with the diagnosis as well. 00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:37.759 So for someone with frontal temporal dementia who may have some language shifts because there's some temporal lobe shift changes, they may get to the they may find the one in the earlier one, um, but not that one first, because after it, you can only get it if it's if it's not if it's not too so that would be a lot of emerald kind of language. 00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:38.240 Okay. 00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:46.480 And so you might see that kind of gem state language with someone who has a frontal temporal dementia, but you may not see it with someone with Lewy body. 00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:51.360 I mean, you might get a real clear picture of it feels like there's fire in my brain today. 00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:55.600 I mean, that's how one of our friends living with Louis Body would describe some of how she was feeling. 00:10:55.840 --> 00:10:57.759 It's real clear diamond state language. 00:10:57.840 --> 00:10:59.440 I'm I'm not guessing about it. 00:10:59.600 --> 00:11:03.039 I mean, it's a real solid description that I can really easily hang on to. 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:07.679 But that gem state might be impacted by the type of dementia they're living with. 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:13.039 So it it some of those dementias really line up quite easily into different categories for us. 00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:17.840 But it also is related to when someone got a diagnosis or we started to notice the change. 00:11:18.080 --> 00:11:21.840 Unfortunately, we're not doing a great job of early diagnosis. 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:27.360 So a lot of folks will come in and well, we work together and then we figure out, well, your mom's, yeah, you're right. 00:11:27.440 --> 00:11:33.440 Your mom's mainly in an emerald state right now, even though she got diagnosed with brain change a year ago or less. 00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:40.480 We've missed some of the signs and signals because we aren't really attuned into what we look for or what we should be looking for or listening to. 00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:48.399 Let's go back a little bit of how people can benefit and interact with the champions course. 00:11:48.559 --> 00:11:51.519 I know you described it before, but tell us a little bit more about that. 00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:54.320 Can anybody join that champions course? 00:11:54.399 --> 00:12:02.399 You said it was online, so it doesn't matter geographically, and then it goes on for a certain number of weeks, or how does that work? 00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:07.200 Yeah, so we run a Champion OnePlus 2 course, which is four hours long. 00:12:07.360 -->

00:12:14.159 We do give you a break in between, and it's on Zoom, it's interactive, and we're sharing slides, we're talking about brain changes. 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:19.120 The bonus part of being through Zoom is that we can see you and you can see us. 00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:26.000 So you can see our mentors, we interact, and we actually ask you to get up and practice some of the skills that you've seen on TPA's videos, right? 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:29.600 And you've heard of hand under hand, but you've never actually tried it before. 00:12:29.759 --> 00:12:35.039 And we actually welcome people to grab a partner, bring them in the room and practice this thing with them. 00:12:35.200 --> 00:12:38.080 If your kids at home during that time, bring them in. 00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:40.639 I mean, have them practice, have them listen a little bit even. 00:12:40.720 --> 00:12:42.320 I mean, we won't charge you extra for it. 00:12:42.480 --> 00:12:45.200 But yeah, our Tuesday champion courses run for four hours. 00:12:45.279 --> 00:12:52.320 Our first week, Tuesdays of the week, are dedicated to positive physical approach and really understanding what's happening in the brain. 00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:56.720 And then champion three plus four happens after that for four hours the following week. 00:12:56.879 --> 00:13:04.559 It's dedicated to the gem states overall and interacting with gem states and how do I figure out what person's gem state is what? 00:13:04.879 --> 00:13:07.600 And so it's a really dedicated time for that. 00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:09.440 And we do ship materials for folks. 00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:12.720 If you sign up ahead ahead of time, we do have a workbook that gets shipped. 00:13:12.879 --> 00:13:14.960 We know folks like that, along with some of our books. 00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:15.440 Nice. 00:13:15.600 --> 00:13:17.919 And then describe the other option. 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:22.320 You said that they can have this free half hour sort of introductory. 00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:29.039 And then what if they're ready, what would that look like to be able to get that kind of you know, direct advice? 00:13:29.519 --> 00:13:33.919 Yeah, that would probably be more of that 30-minute complimentary consult time. 00:13:34.639 --> 00:13:39.039 And we try to meet on Zoom with folks so that we have some visual space to share. 00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:44.240 Yeah, and sometimes we do figure out well, you got a diagnosis, but you didn't get education from the doctor. 00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:51.679 I mean, your family didn't really get anything about Louis Body, you just that was a diagnosis, and you walked away thinking it was the same as Alzheimer's. 00:13:51.759 --> 00:13:57.279 And so sharing the screen and sharing that 30-minute time, yes, we'll work on the specific question you have because that's what you came for. 00:13:57.440 --> 00:14:03.279 And our mentors may see, well, let's take a few minutes and talk about what's different between Louis

Body and Alzheimer's. 00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:09.120 Because our mentors are really good at picking up and asking questions so that we can figure out what's the need here. 00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:12.639 Because you'll come in with the need and we'll we can figure out a next step. 00:14:12.720 --> 00:14:16.960 But if there's an educational need, we can also try to fill in some gaps in that time frame. 00:14:17.279 --> 00:14:21.440 The other part of that is you may really like that person that you met with on our team. 00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:30.639 And you're welcome to actually establish a relationship and have some future consultation calls and we have some different pricing, and and we'll always meet people where they are. 00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:40.159 You know, I've had some situations where I couldn't get you the resource the first time, but I'll meet with you for another 15 or 30 minutes so we can find the time to do that. 00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:43.200 You know, our goal is to really support people across the world. 00:14:43.360 --> 00:14:48.480 And so sometimes you're in a rural area and I didn't have anyone in your area that I can connect you to. 00:14:48.559 --> 00:14:51.600 So let me do a little digging and I'll get back with you next week on it. 00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:59.039 So our our mentor team is really dedicated to finding what's your next step rather than here's the blanket next step for everyone. 00:14:59.120 --> 00:15:02.320 But that's why we need that time to figure out what that situation is. 00:15:02.559 --> 00:15:06.559 We do also direct people a lot to our complementary educational resources. 00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:12.399 If we if you're watching Bob on YouTube right now, go out to YouTube and put in Test of Snow. 00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:15.759 We've got over a thousand videos that are complimentary out there as well. 00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:16.960 That's great. 00:15:17.200 --> 00:15:21.919 So for us, those consultations are really about meeting the need that the person's coming in with. 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:31.919 I mean, I I had a consult recently, and the whole goal was to figure out the person had respite care coming in, but the respite care folks were coming to the wife and going, Well, what do I do with them? 00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:32.559 Mm-hmm. 00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:34.720 It's like, well, crap, I don't know. 00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:43.679 Well, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out what are a couple activities that we think would be helpful for these guys to try out when they came in because they didn't have the training to figure that out. 00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:46.559 But the wife had all the expertise that we needed. 00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:47.840 We just needed to pull it out. 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:58.320 And so for for some families, you know, if they have the resources to do it, they might be able to have an ongoing relationship with us with you know, consultations and some coaching. 00:15:58.720 --> 00:15:59.360 For sure. 00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:07.039 And uh because I think a lot of families, you know, when they're dealing with this, it's it's it can be very difficult. 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:16.399 This is somebody that's been part of your life for maybe 50 years or longer, and there's always going to be relationship baggage and things like that. 00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:32.159 And now with this new diagnosis, it it can, you know, the there might be some expectation of that's just an exaggeration of a previous behavior when it really could be more related to the you know, the brain states. 00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:46.720 And so if they if a family needed that or felt that that would be very useful, that is an option that they would have is to arrange for you know higher hire for coaching and and consultation on an ongoing basis. 00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:47.519 Absolutely. 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:47.840 Yeah. 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:50.559 We have folks that do an initial 30-minute consult. 00:16:50.639 --> 00:16:53.679 Sometimes there's two because we we had a little left over. 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:55.759 And then yeah, they'll they'll continue a relationship. 00:16:55.840 --> 00:16:57.279 Some folks will meet once a month. 00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:06.640 There are times when they bring in a specific question, and other times it's just a monthly meeting, and there isn't a crisis, which we love when there's not a crisis, but we can do some more education. 00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:09.039 They can ask some, what do I expect now? 00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:10.720 Or, you know, what should I expect? 00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:13.200 What should I get ready for in the next doctor's appointment? 00:17:13.279 --> 00:17:14.160 What should I ask? 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:17.759 I mean, there's just so much that's involved, as you said, Bob. 00:17:17.920 --> 00:17:25.279 And and even just the idea that I've been with someone for a majority of my life, potentially as a spouse, and our relationship has changed. 00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:29.759 And even just someone to talk to who gets it and who understands without a judgment on it. 00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:30.160 Right. 00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:31.440 Because it's not adjustment. 00:17:31.599 --> 00:17:37.440 Most of our mentors have either worked professionally or have had family members or both and provided some support in some way. 00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:42.720 So so we're you're usually talking to someone who's got some of that in their wheelhouse as well. 00:17:43.039 --> 00:17:58.640 Well, Alejandro, it'd be nice to hear about your journey and how you really got into this and and how, you know, what your journey has been leading up to working with the T-Snow positive approach to care organization. 00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:01.839 So tell us a little bit more about you and your professional journey. 00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:02.480 Yeah. 00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:07.039 So I I figured out in high school I wanted to educate others,

right? 00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:11.119 And and then I figured I want to serve under underrepresented populations, Bob. 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:14.400 And I thought, well, I grew up in Detroit, I'm gonna go back to Detroit and teach. 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:15.680 And that's exactly what I did. 00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:17.759 So I taught middle school for six years. 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:24.160 And in that time, Teepa's daughter, Amanda, who is now our our CEO, started working there as well. 00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:25.440 And we became friends. 00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:31.599 Her husband was my co-teacher for a bit in the middle school, and they left to join Tipa and Positive Approach to Care. 00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:32.799 And we just stayed friends. 00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:37.359 So after a while, they they had an idea that I could do this. 00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:41.440 And I went, well, you guys are really you're smart, but you're really dumb, apparently. 00:18:41.519 --> 00:18:42.640 Do you if you think I can do this? 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:45.680 Because at that point, Bob, I didn't have any experience with dementia, right? 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:47.519 I had not had anyone in my family. 00:18:47.680 --> 00:18:49.920 I didn't have a professional background in it. 00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:55.599 And really to get them off my back, I said, Oh, well, I'll go to the course to just, I'll just see what the course is about. 00:18:55.759 --> 00:19:05.680 And as I got there, I was sitting at a table with folks who had 10 to 15 years of experience, but they did not understand basic brain changes with folks living with dementia. 00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:09.279 They hadn't figured out how to approach people or why to approach people in this way. 00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:21.039 And I was just shocked that there was this industry where I'm providing support for another human being, but I don't understand what seemed to be very basic kind of information and how I interact with folks. 00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:26.880 So for me, I moonlighted for the rest of that school year, um, taking vacation days to do courses. 00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:28.720 And I started to implement that stuff. 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:32.480 The stuff that I learned and now teach, I implemented in my classroom. 00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:38.079 So I I had kids who would come in and they would be sent to me because I was a lead teacher and they're already in trouble. 00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:42.480 So their brains are already in a very different gem state and they're they're not happy. 00:19:42.640 --> 00:19:44.880 And I realized that, well, you're not not happy with me. 00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:46.640 You're this is just a situation. 00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:51.599 And so instead of forcing someone to talk, I then started to give them choices, which is what I learned in the course. 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:56.000 And I would say, now, Bob, you're I hate that you're here, but I like seeing you. 00:19:56.160 --> 00:20:01.039 Bob, do you want to write about what happened in the class or do you want to draw a picture about it? 00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:10.079 And so now it became a win-win because I get the information I need, but I also get back to my kids who are 30 in a classroom and you're one more who I didn't plan on having. 00:20:10.400 --> 00:20:15.680 So really simple things like offering choices that were a win-win for me and the students. 00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:18.480 Not standing over people at their desks, duh. 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:20.000 Of course that's intimidating. 00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:22.799 So I got really well more flexible that year. 00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:29.200 I'm not super flexible still, but getting down low and addressing students at their level became really essential for me. 00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:31.519 And then I said, okay, well, I'll do this full time. 00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:34.160 And then nine years later, here here we are, Bob. 00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:36.559 I I wouldn't wouldn't give it up for the world right now. 00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:42.960 It's it's been really helpful and beneficial for me and my relationships, but also I know it's been good for other people to get this education out. 00:20:43.200 --> 00:21:00.799 For those that would like to do a little bit more of their own investigation and research on Gem States, do you have any suggestions of specific videos or books that that you'd recommend for them to get more of a just understanding of the gem states of brain challenge? 00:21:01.200 --> 00:21:05.759 I would say if this is your first time hearing about gem states, go out to our YouTube page. 00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:12.640 And if you type in Tipa Snow Gems, the very first video you'll see is Teepa actually explaining an overview. 00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:15.599 It's got a really clean white background to it. 00:21:15.759 --> 00:21:22.319 It's about a 10-minute video, but she gives an overview, shows you some visuals on the screen that will probably help tie it in. 00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:26.400 And then I would recommend our care partner uh gems book. 00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:28.160 And it's a book that's pretty short. 00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:32.640 Now, if I can read the book, anyone can, because I've read five books over the past like three years. 00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:40.960 So it's a pretty quick read, but it gives you some basics and some examples of what you might see or hear in folks in these different brain state changes. 00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:42.880 So that's available on Amazon as well. 00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:48.240 If you put in T Pasnow gems, it'll come up, or you can get it through our website at teepasn.com. 00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:51.039 But we try to make our books pretty small, pretty short. 00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:58.000 We we try to envision people who have 15 or 20 minutes at a time to pick up a book, and then you gotta put it down and come back to it. 00:21:58.079 --> 00:22:01.680 So for those

of you who are Avid readers, you'll be through it in no time. 00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:08.160 So for those that are listening to this, can you give them a few just things to remember? 00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:12.640 So there's, you know, obviously they can do a little bit more looking into this. 00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:16.880 They should check out the website, maybe order the a book. 00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:23.839 But what are three things just to kind of keep in mind, or a few things that about the gem states that you'd like people to remember? 00:22:24.079 --> 00:22:27.440 I think the first is people want to be sapphire. 00:22:27.599 --> 00:22:31.839 I think that's where generally people want to be, because sapphire means you're like bamboo. 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:36.000 You're flexible, but you're still strong enough and you can spring back a bit. 00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:38.160 You can see it from other people's points of view. 00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:41.599 And of course, everyone wants to support folks in relationships that way. 00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:45.039 I mean, I don't know many people that are like, I'm gonna be a terrible care partner today. 00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:48.319 It's like, no, that's not the way most people get up and start their day. 00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:53.680 But if I do that, it means I'm also still gonna be sapphire for a limited amount of time. 00:22:53.839 --> 00:22:54.799 We are human beings. 00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:59.920 And so at some point, recognizing that you can be real sapphire, but also doesn't mean you're perfect. 00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:02.000 You're not gonna get it right every time. 00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:05.519 You are gonna attempt some new things, but you're still gonna have some hiccups. 00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:07.759 So being in a sapphire state doesn't mean you're perfect. 00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:12.079 If you've never been good at math, you're not gonna be good at math just because you recognize you're in sapphire state. 00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:13.680 It's just the best you you can be. 00:23:13.839 --> 00:23:16.240 And recognizing that you need to switch it off. 00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:18.799 You actually need to get out of that state every once in a while. 00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:20.079 It's gonna burn you up. 00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:24.480 I mean, you're using a lot of glucose energy and your brain's working real hard. 00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:31.039 So if you've had a really hard, long work day, but it went really well, you probably maintain that sapphire state for a while. 00:23:31.200 --> 00:23:32.880 But then you need to drop it for a bit. 00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:36.880 Otherwise, you're not gonna be able to get back to it the next day or the day after that. 00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:44.400 So, really an honest look at being sapphire is great, and you still need some time to not be there at moments, and you will not be there. 00:23:44.480 --> 00:23:48.160 And something might trigger it even for you to not be that flexible person. 00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:57.680 So when mom asks you the 15th same question for the 15th time in two hours, if you're in a sapphire, you'll go, mom, you're wondering about the doctor appointment. 00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:01.039 I mean, that's sapphire, but you can't hold that for forever. 00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:03.759 And so at some point you might say, and you did it out loud. 00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:06.319 Shoot, it's a slip, it's a gem state slip. 00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:08.960 And you might even catch it and go, the doctor's appointment. 00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:09.839 Yeah. 00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:14.400 But if you do that for so long, I mean you just need a break. 00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:18.480 And and sapphire is a great place to be, but just recognize we don't hold it forever. 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:20.480 It's not a thing that we do, we're not computers. 00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:21.759 That's very interesting. 00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:29.519 What about any hope that you can give to folks about, you know, just the brain's capacity for change and need for change, I guess. 00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:30.480 Yeah. 00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:41.440 So it's an interesting one because we Teepa and I were together this week and and she threw a question up on the board for one of the groups we were working with, and it it said something like, you know, what's true about dementia? 00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:44.880 And one of the options was people with dementia can't learn. 00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:46.799 And that's a that's a fallacy, right? 00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:50.799 We we have neuroplasticity from beginning to end in our brains. 00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:57.839 And I might not catch all the details, but I can definitely catch enough of it that I'll retain some of what I like or don't like. 00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:01.279 Or I I don't know that guy's name, but I know he was a good interviewer. 00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:05.200 I I can't remember exactly what it did, but it was a good conversation for folks. 00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:10.000 And so I think part of that is also recognizing that we've got to work on our own skills. 00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:13.519 I mean, if if people are already changing, I gotta do some changing myself. 00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:22.000 If if they're changing, our relationship is changing, I probably can't do the same thing and get the same reactions or get the same responses from the person that I'm working with. 00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:36.880 And so that neuroplasticity idea, I think, is pretty essential to realize that they're, I mean, they've got dementia, they're not stupid, which is one of the phrases that our our friend living with dementia gave us, which is just priceless because you can't, I mean, you can try to trick me. 00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:40.079 You can tell me the car, you know, the battery doesn't work. 00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:42.240 I know where the phone is, I can call triple A. 00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:44.640 They can

get over here and replace the battery for me. 00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:53.359 So human beings are incredibly resilient when I want something, but I'll also figure a way to get the thing that I want if I can't get it with your help. 00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:55.680 Alejandro, this has been great. 00:25:55.839 --> 00:25:59.039 Really appreciate all the information that you've provided us today. 00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:03.759 Is there any takeaway that you want to leave the audience with as we wrap things up today? 00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:11.359 Yeah, I I would say no matter what gem state you're working with, try to see what the person has left and what you can utilize. 00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:14.319 Because yes, my language may not be great today. 00:26:14.480 --> 00:26:15.680 What did I do today? 00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:21.599 I got dressed by my, I mean, you I totally independently did all my buttons today and got that all on. 00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:23.920 And I actually made my own cup of coffee today. 00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:24.960 Like huge. 00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:35.920 And it's really tricky sometimes to spend a lot of time with someone and and have those things just go unseen and just focus on, well, they can't and they can't talk or they can't do this. 00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:40.319 Try to keep a log even of what what what can you celebrate today? 00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:41.599 What went well today? 00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:44.480 What was the thing that you didn't have to assist today, potentially? 00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:47.039 What was the thing that, man, it was funny today. 00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:49.279 That was a that was a that was a good one today. 00:26:49.359 --> 00:26:51.599 I worked with a lady a couple days ago. 00:26:51.839 --> 00:26:58.960 We were at a place and we were arranging flowers, and she looked over and said, Now, now you're kind of not American. 00:26:59.119 --> 00:27:01.200 And I went, you are absolutely right. 00:27:01.279 --> 00:27:02.160 I'm kind of not. 00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:03.920 And she said, You're something. 00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:05.519 And I said, I'm Puerto Rican. 00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:07.039 And she said, Puerto Rican. 00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:10.720 And then she called four people over and said, Now let me tell you about him. 00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:11.759 He's Puerto Rican. 00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:17.599 And it's like, man, I could, I could take that as some kind of a dig or like embarrassment. 00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:18.559 But it was great. 00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:20.960 Like she invited people over and welcomed people over. 00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:26.079 And there are so many moments like that that I think can go under the rug because she can do the flowers. 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:29.920 And so if I focused on she wasn't doing the flowers, I miss that opportunity. 00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:34.720 I miss that that thing that's going to keep me more sapphire throughout the day. 00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:41.200 Just that moment that we get with folks that is really important to hold on to, especially when things are getting tougher or changing. 00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:42.880 Because it helps your own gemstate. 00:27:43.119 --> 00:27:43.759 This has been great. 00:27:43.839 --> 00:27:48.640 And if you enjoyed this podcast, don't forget to subscribe to Advice from Your Advocates. 00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:51.200 You can find it anywhere that you find podcasts. 00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:55.920 And uh just to hit the subscribe button so you know when the new episodes are coming out. 00:27:56.079 --> 00:28:02.799 And uh you can also find it on our website, manorlawgroup.com, or on our Manner Law YouTube page. 00:28:02.960 --> 00:28:05.599 So thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time. 00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:07.759 Thanks for listening. 00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:11.039 To learn more, visit Manor Law Group.com.