Navigating Dementia Diagnoses: The Gem States of Brain Change Explained

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You're listening to Advice from Your Advocates, a show where we provide elder law advice to professionals who work with the elderly and their families.
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Welcome back to Advice from Your Advocates.
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I'm Bob Manner.
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I'm a board certified elder law attorney in Michigan.
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And we have a great guest today.
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So most of you know about the TPA Snow organization positive approach to care.
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And we have one of the representatives from that organization, Alejandro De Jesus.
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And he is the chief of mentor services and a lead speaker at TPA Snow's Positive Approach to Care.
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Alejandro, welcome.
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Thank you, Bob.
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Thanks for having me.
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We we I was telling Bob that we're neighbors, so it it took the internet to put us together, though.
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So thankfully we we got to meet each other.
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Thanks for having me on, Bob.
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That's uh really funny too, because we we did not know that uh that you were here in in the area.
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And frankly, uh we're only a few miles apart from uh from where you are and where our office is.
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So can you tell us a little about your organization or T PUSNO's organization and what you do as part of that organization?
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Yeah, so our organization is called Positive Approach to Care, and it was founded by TPA Snow, and our mission is pretty simple.
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We are trying to radically transform the experience of dementia.
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The statement is simple, the work is fairly large.
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And what we primarily do is help people through understanding what dementia is about.
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And so my role in the organization is really more in the curriculum, like you mentioned, speaking events, and in our educational services that we provide.
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So I do some of that, but I also help our uh teachers and mentors get ready for those courses as well.
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Very nice.
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And and we were talking a little bit before that uh the organization is all over the place, and so it's not there's not you the folks that work with the organization can be from anywhere, and they you're trying to get the word out to everywhere, right?
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That is correct, yes.
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It dementia is everywhere, so we are trying to be everywhere.
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I mean, we're in Canada, Australia, we've got a mentor there all over the U.S.
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And I've I've been super excited this year, though, Bob, because I've gotten more events in Michigan than I any other year for me.
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So really cool to reach more Michiganders as well this year.
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That's great.
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So tell us a little bit about your role as chief of mentor services.
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So, what is what is a mentor under the organization?
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What do they do?
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How do they impact the lives of those families that have a loved one with dementia?
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Yeah, so our our mentors are pretty multifaceted in that primarily we do education in the form of training, workshops, certifications, but we also have folks that do a coaching role.
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We think it's pretty important that when people get trained, they get coaching afterwards.
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I mean, you don't get better at something by simply doing it once.
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You need some repetition and some feedback.
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And then we also do our consults as mentors.
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So folks that have a challenging situation where, you know, I don't know how to get the keys away from dad and he keeps insisting on driving.
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That's a fairly complex situation with more than one possible next step.
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And so our mentors do that and they prepare other people to go out and do that work wherever they're coming from.
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And so we've got a good group of mentors that have been around for quite a while.
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And typically we add a few folks every year as folks, you know, transition out and into retirement or semi-retirement.
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But a lot of folks have stuck with us for a long time in that mentor role.
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And if you're visiting us online at TPUSNO.com, you're actually still interacting with a mentor.
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Most of the folks who have an administrative role with us have served also as a mentor or do serve as a mentor as well.
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Even the folks that do our, you know, our shipping and our products can tell you a little something about dementia and guide you some support resources.
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That's great.
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So who do the mentors typically help?
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Is it people that have reached out through the website?
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How does that process get started?
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What would be the best way to try to work with your organization?
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We get a lot of family members coming in who initially start with an initial complimentary 30-minute consult, right?
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They're they're not quite sure sometimes where to go, or they just got a diagnosis with a family member, and it's like, look, I'm not sure where to go, but I know I need some help, and we'll find a starting point.
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Or as I mentioned, there's a sticky situation happening and they'll reach out for an introductory 30-minute consult.
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A lot of folks start that way.
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Other folks start with our champion course, which run twice a month online.
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It's interactive, live through Zoom.
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And again, we do that because we get to reach a global audience that way.
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And it's it's really core foundational understanding brain change, but also what do I do about it?
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Because there are plenty of places where you can learn about brain change.
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What we really strive for is what's something practical you can take away?
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You spend four hours with us, and we really want you to be able to get up out of your seat after that class and then go try something with dad or go try something when you're back at work tomorrow if you're a professional.
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Because there's plenty of theory out there, and we have some of that, but we also want practical skills for folks because if you're interacting with someone, you get to kind of be more skillful typically in understanding what's happening.
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So, professional-wise, Bob, folks also do reach out to us for things like, hey, can you come out and do a one-day session with my team?
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It's some of the things that we've been doing recently in Michigan, which are are super exciting.
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So if you're a professional, you can still start at those Tuesday champions, and usually we get a little deeper after that first time.
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Okay.
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Can you tell us a little bit about the GEM state of brain change, GEMS?
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So for those that aren't familiar with that, if you can kind of explain what that is and how that impacts a lot of what you guys talk about.
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Yeah.
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So our GEM state model, I'll start with saying it's capitalized if you're Googling it out there or looking for it, but it's not an acronym.
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It really is our effort to make this idea of brain change related to dementia, but brain change overall really just applicable and not so I'm gonna use I'm gonna use the word not so specific.
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Okay.
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Because for a lot of folks that we meet, you're getting a diagnosis or someone has a diagnosis and they're either early, middle, or late.
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And that's great to know, but how much detail does it give you?
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Well, not much typically.
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And that also draws a line in the sand.
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And the line in the sand between folks living with brain change related to dementia and other folks isn't there until someone receives a diagnosis.
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But the brain change is already there.
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I mean, the thing was there before the doctor came in and let you know whatever he found in the scans.
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And so TIPA created the gem state model to start to recognize A, that everyone is living in brain change.
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Just some folks are living with a brain change related to a dementia.
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And it still includes me.
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I'm still in the picture, but it's not a line in the sand kind of thing.
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I check in on my gem state, hopefully every day, but I also check in on other people's gem state.
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So we want to get a little more specific with what people's abilities are.
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Because Bob, if I told you, hey Bob, you're gonna work with Savannah today.
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Now she's not got much language, and look out because she's real omri.
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And you know, so don't cross her.
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Now that's unfortunately the way people are being described out there living with.
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But if I told you, hey, Bob, she's more in a diamond state this morning.
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So really quick on the stuff, the routine stuff is like really good for her to do.
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What's it feel like, Bob, one one way versus the other?
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So certainly more positive, more person centered.
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Yeah.
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Because I can't bring back the stuff that Savannah can't do anymore.
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So why am I so focused in on it?
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I mean, if she can't do that, let's go with what she can do.
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And that's really about our gem states model.
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What people can do, and how do I help them use those skills?
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Can you tell us a little bit more about the gems?
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So you mentioned diamond, just kind of give us, and I I know there's a lot to it.
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There's uh there's books and on this, so we can't go through everything extensively, but can you give us just kind of an overview of some of the gems and and how you use that terminology?
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Yeah, so so the gems states, there are six states, right?
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And we use the word state very specifically, because if you're in a state, you can move.
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I mean, it might be tough, it might be easy sometimes, but you can move.
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You're not locked into a place, and neither are people living in dementia.
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I mean, if you've had experiences with people living in dementia, you'll know they're still human and their brains change for many reasons.
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So the names actually are representative of the brain states.
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And so we start in a sapphire state, and then we move to a diamond state, an emerald state.
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And then the other three gem states are amber, ruby, and pearl.
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And so they are really gems with unique colors and unique qualities to them.
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And Tipa's thought was, well, I don't want to put numbers to them.
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Yeah.
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Because if if Bob's a one and I'm a three, well, how does that feel when I tell the family that?
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How does it feel for Bob when he understands that he's one or three?
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And is one in one scale better than the other one?
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I mean, there are multiple scales out there where people are trying to recognize where someone living with dementia is.
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And if you got a low number in one, that's where you want to be.
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And if you got a high number in the other one, that's where you want to be.
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So trying to take away the number stigma thing because I'm pretty sure if you're listening to this and you opened up a box and you got a ruby in there, you'd be just as happy as if you opened the box and you got a pearl or a sapphire.
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I mean, they all have good qualities to them and you'd be happy with them.
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So those are our six, and I'll go back through them.
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So it's sapphire, diamond, emerald, and then amber, ruby, and pearl are those gem states.
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But we use that again, that state name very specifically.
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We aren't trying to lock people into boxes.
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I just want to recognize where people are.
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And now you you said something uh that I wanted to highlight a second ago.
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You said had been diagnosed with a dementia.
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And I think that's important.
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You know, most of our listeners will recognize that dementia is sort of a category of different diagnosis.
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And so how would the gem states relate to different categories like vascular versus Alzheimer's versus Louis body versus frontal temporal or things like that?
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Super good question, Bob, because you're right that there's this big umbrella with all these different dementias under them.
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And our gem state models kind of cover the whole umbrella because we're trying to cover all these brain states, right?
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And I mentioned, look, we use it for people who aren't living with the diagnosis as well.
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So for someone with frontal temporal dementia who may have some language shifts because there's some temporal lobe shift changes, they may get to the they may find the one in the earlier one, um, but not that one first, because after it, you can only get it if it's if it's not if it's not too so that would be a lot of emerald kind of language.
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Okay.
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And so you might see that kind of gem state language with someone who has a frontal temporal dementia, but you may not see it with someone with Lewy body.
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I mean, you might get a real clear picture of it feels like there's fire in my brain today.
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I mean, that's how one of our friends living with Louis Body would describe some of how she was feeling.
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It's real clear diamond state language.
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I'm I'm not guessing about it.
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I mean, it's a real solid description that I can really easily hang on to.
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But that gem state might be impacted by the type of dementia they're living with.
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So it it some of those dementias really line up quite easily into different categories for us.
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But it also is related to when someone got a diagnosis or we started to notice the change.
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Unfortunately, we're not doing a great job of early diagnosis.
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So a lot of folks will come in and well, we work together and then we figure out, well, your mom's, yeah, you're right.
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Your mom's mainly in an emerald state right now, even though she got diagnosed with brain change a year ago or less.
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We've missed some of the signs and signals because we aren't really attuned into what we look for or what we should be looking for or listening to.
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Let's go back a little bit of how people can benefit and interact with the champions course.
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I know you described it before, but tell us a little bit more about that.
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Can anybody join that champions course?
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You said it was online, so it doesn't matter geographically, and then it goes on for a certain number of weeks, or how does that work?
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Yeah, so we run a Champion OnePlus 2 course, which is four hours long.
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We do give you a break in between, and it's on Zoom, it's interactive, and we're sharing slides, we're talking about brain changes.
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The bonus part of being through Zoom is that we can see you and you can see us.
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So you can see our mentors, we interact, and we actually ask you to get up and practice some of the skills that you've seen on TPA's videos, right?
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And you've heard of hand under hand, but you've never actually tried it before.
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And we actually welcome people to grab a partner, bring them in the room and practice this thing with them.
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If your kids at home during that time, bring them in.
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I mean, have them practice, have them listen a little bit even.
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I mean, we won't charge you extra for it.
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But yeah, our Tuesday champion courses run for four hours.
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Our first week, Tuesdays of the week, are dedicated to positive physical approach and really understanding what's happening in the brain.
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And then champion three plus four happens after that for four hours the following week.
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It's dedicated to the gem states overall and interacting with gem states and how do I figure out what person's gem state is what?
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And so it's a really dedicated time for that.
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And we do ship materials for folks.
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If you sign up ahead ahead of time, we do have a workbook that gets shipped.
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We know folks like that, along with some of our books.
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Nice.
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And then describe the other option.
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You said that they can have this free half hour sort of introductory.
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And then what if they're ready, what would that look like to be able to get that kind of you know, direct advice?
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Yeah, that would probably be more of that 30-minute complimentary consult time.
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And we try to meet on Zoom with folks so that we have some visual space to share.
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Yeah, and sometimes we do figure out well, you got a diagnosis, but you didn't get education from the doctor.
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I mean, your family didn't really get anything about Louis Body, you just that was a diagnosis, and you walked away thinking it was the same as Alzheimer's.
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And so sharing the screen and sharing that 30-minute time, yes, we'll work on the specific question you have because that's what you came for.
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And our mentors may see, well, let's take a few minutes and talk about what's different between Louis Body and Alzheimer's.
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Because our mentors are really good at picking up and asking questions so that we can figure out what's the need here.
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Because you'll come in with the need and we'll we can figure out a next step.
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But if there's an educational need, we can also try to fill in some gaps in that time frame.
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The other part of that is you may really like that person that you met with on our team.
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And you're welcome to actually establish a relationship and have some future consultation calls and we have some different pricing, and and we'll always meet people where they are.
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You know, I've had some situations where I couldn't get you the resource the first time, but I'll meet with you for another 15 or 30 minutes so we can find the time to do that.
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You know, our goal is to really support people across the world.
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And so sometimes you're in a rural area and I didn't have anyone in your area that I can connect you to.
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So let me do a little digging and I'll get back with you next week on it.
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So our our mentor team is really dedicated to finding what's your next step rather than here's the blanket next step for everyone.
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But that's why we need that time to figure out what that situation is.
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We do also direct people a lot to our complementary educational resources.
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If we if you're watching Bob on YouTube right now, go out to YouTube and put in Test of Snow.
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We've got over a thousand videos that are complimentary out there as well.
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That's great.
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So for us, those consultations are really about meeting the need that the person's coming in with.
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I mean, I I had a consult recently, and the whole goal was to figure out the person had respite care coming in, but the respite care folks were coming to the wife and going, Well, what do I do with them?
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Mm-hmm.
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It's like, well, crap, I don't know.
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Well, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out what are a couple activities that we think would be helpful for these guys to try out when they came in because they didn't have the training to figure that out.
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But the wife had all the expertise that we needed.
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We just needed to pull it out.
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And so for for some families, you know, if they have the resources to do it, they might be able to have an ongoing relationship with us with you know, consultations and some coaching.
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For sure.
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And uh because I think a lot of families, you know, when they're dealing with this, it's it's it can be very difficult.
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This is somebody that's been part of your life for maybe 50 years or longer, and there's always going to be relationship baggage and things like that.
00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:32.159
And now with this new diagnosis, it it can, you know, the there might be some expectation of that's just an exaggeration of a previous behavior when it really could be more related to the you know, the brain states.
00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:46.720
And so if they if a family needed that or felt that that would be very useful, that is an option that they would have is to arrange for you know higher hire for coaching and and consultation on an ongoing basis.
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:47.519
Absolutely.
00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:47.840
Yeah.
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:50.559
We have folks that do an initial 30-minute consult.
00:16:50.639 --> 00:16:53.679
Sometimes there's two because we we had a little left over.
00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:55.759
And then yeah, they'll they'll continue a relationship.
00:16:55.840 --> 00:16:57.279
Some folks will meet once a month.
00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:06.640
There are times when they bring in a specific question, and other times it's just a monthly meeting, and there isn't a crisis, which we love when there's not a crisis, but we can do some more education.
00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:09.039
They can ask some, what do I expect now?
00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:10.720
Or, you know, what should I expect?
00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:13.200
What should I get ready for in the next doctor's appointment?
00:17:13.279 --> 00:17:14.160
What should I ask?
00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:17.759
I mean, there's just so much that's involved, as you said, Bob.
00:17:17.920 --> 00:17:25.279
And and even just the idea that I've been with someone for a majority of my life, potentially as a spouse, and our relationship has changed.
00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:29.759
And even just someone to talk to who gets it and who understands without a judgment on it.
00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:30.160
Right.
00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:31.440
Because it's not adjustment.
00:17:31.599 --> 00:17:37.440
Most of our mentors have either worked professionally or have had family members or both and provided some support in some way.
00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:42.720
So so we're you're usually talking to someone who's got some of that in their wheelhouse as well.
00:17:43.039 --> 00:17:58.640
Well, Alejandro, it'd be nice to hear about your journey and how you really got into this and and how, you know, what your journey has been leading up to working with the T-Snow positive approach to care organization.
00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:01.839
So tell us a little bit more about you and your professional journey.
00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:02.480
Yeah.
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:07.039
So I I figured out in high school I wanted to educate others, right?
00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:11.119
And and then I figured I want to serve under underrepresented populations, Bob.
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:14.400
And I thought, well, I grew up in Detroit, I'm gonna go back to Detroit and teach.
00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:15.680
And that's exactly what I did.
00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:17.759
So I taught middle school for six years.
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:24.160
And in that time, Teepa's daughter, Amanda, who is now our our CEO, started working there as well.
00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:25.440
And we became friends.
00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:31.599
Her husband was my co-teacher for a bit in the middle school, and they left to join Tipa and Positive Approach to Care.
00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:32.799
And we just stayed friends.
00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:37.359
So after a while, they they had an idea that I could do this.
00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:41.440
And I went, well, you guys are really you're smart, but you're really dumb, apparently.
00:18:41.519 --> 00:18:42.640
Do you if you think I can do this?
00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:45.680
Because at that point, Bob, I didn't have any experience with dementia, right?
00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:47.519
I had not had anyone in my family.
00:18:47.680 --> 00:18:49.920
I didn't have a professional background in it.
00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:55.599
And really to get them off my back, I said, Oh, well, I'll go to the course to just, I'll just see what the course is about.
00:18:55.759 --> 00:19:05.680
And as I got there, I was sitting at a table with folks who had 10 to 15 years of experience, but they did not understand basic brain changes with folks living with dementia.
00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:09.279
They hadn't figured out how to approach people or why to approach people in this way.
00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:21.039
And I was just shocked that there was this industry where I'm providing support for another human being, but I don't understand what seemed to be very basic kind of information and how I interact with folks.
00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:26.880
So for me, I moonlighted for the rest of that school year, um, taking vacation days to do courses.
00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:28.720
And I started to implement that stuff.
00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:32.480
The stuff that I learned and now teach, I implemented in my classroom.
00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:38.079
So I I had kids who would come in and they would be sent to me because I was a lead teacher and they're already in trouble.
00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:42.480
So their brains are already in a very different gem state and they're they're not happy.
00:19:42.640 --> 00:19:44.880
And I realized that, well, you're not not happy with me.
00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:46.640
You're this is just a situation.
00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:51.599
And so instead of forcing someone to talk, I then started to give them choices, which is what I learned in the course.
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:56.000
And I would say, now, Bob, you're I hate that you're here, but I like seeing you.
00:19:56.160 --> 00:20:01.039
Bob, do you want to write about what happened in the class or do you want to draw a picture about it?
00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:10.079
And so now it became a win-win because I get the information I need, but I also get back to my kids who are 30 in a classroom and you're one more who I didn't plan on having.
00:20:10.400 --> 00:20:15.680
So really simple things like offering choices that were a win-win for me and the students.
00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:18.480
Not standing over people at their desks, duh.
00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:20.000
Of course that's intimidating.
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:22.799
So I got really well more flexible that year.
00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:29.200
I'm not super flexible still, but getting down low and addressing students at their level became really essential for me.
00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:31.519
And then I said, okay, well, I'll do this full time.
00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:34.160
And then nine years later, here here we are, Bob.
00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:36.559
I I wouldn't wouldn't give it up for the world right now.
00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:42.960
It's it's been really helpful and beneficial for me and my relationships, but also I know it's been good for other people to get this education out.
00:20:43.200 --> 00:21:00.799
For those that would like to do a little bit more of their own investigation and research on Gem States, do you have any suggestions of specific videos or books that that you'd recommend for them to get more of a just understanding of the gem states of brain challenge?
00:21:01.200 --> 00:21:05.759
I would say if this is your first time hearing about gem states, go out to our YouTube page.
00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:12.640
And if you type in Tipa Snow Gems, the very first video you'll see is Teepa actually explaining an overview.
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:15.599
It's got a really clean white background to it.
00:21:15.759 --> 00:21:22.319
It's about a 10-minute video, but she gives an overview, shows you some visuals on the screen that will probably help tie it in.
00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:26.400
And then I would recommend our care partner uh gems book.
00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:28.160
And it's a book that's pretty short.
00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:32.640
Now, if I can read the book, anyone can, because I've read five books over the past like three years.
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:40.960
So it's a pretty quick read, but it gives you some basics and some examples of what you might see or hear in folks in these different brain state changes.
00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:42.880
So that's available on Amazon as well.
00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:48.240
If you put in T Pasnow gems, it'll come up, or you can get it through our website at teepasn.com.
00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:51.039
But we try to make our books pretty small, pretty short.
00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:58.000
We we try to envision people who have 15 or 20 minutes at a time to pick up a book, and then you gotta put it down and come back to it.
00:21:58.079 --> 00:22:01.680
So for those of you who are Avid readers, you'll be through it in no time.
00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:08.160
So for those that are listening to this, can you give them a few just things to remember?
00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:12.640
So there's, you know, obviously they can do a little bit more looking into this.
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:16.880
They should check out the website, maybe order the a book.
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:23.839
But what are three things just to kind of keep in mind, or a few things that about the gem states that you'd like people to remember?
00:22:24.079 --> 00:22:27.440
I think the first is people want to be sapphire.
00:22:27.599 --> 00:22:31.839
I think that's where generally people want to be, because sapphire means you're like bamboo.
00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:36.000
You're flexible, but you're still strong enough and you can spring back a bit.
00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:38.160
You can see it from other people's points of view.
00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:41.599
And of course, everyone wants to support folks in relationships that way.
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:45.039
I mean, I don't know many people that are like, I'm gonna be a terrible care partner today.
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:48.319
It's like, no, that's not the way most people get up and start their day.
00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:53.680
But if I do that, it means I'm also still gonna be sapphire for a limited amount of time.
00:22:53.839 --> 00:22:54.799
We are human beings.
00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:59.920
And so at some point, recognizing that you can be real sapphire, but also doesn't mean you're perfect.
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:02.000
You're not gonna get it right every time.
00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:05.519
You are gonna attempt some new things, but you're still gonna have some hiccups.
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:07.759
So being in a sapphire state doesn't mean you're perfect.
00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:12.079
If you've never been good at math, you're not gonna be good at math just because you recognize you're in sapphire state.
00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:13.680
It's just the best you you can be.
00:23:13.839 --> 00:23:16.240
And recognizing that you need to switch it off.
00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:18.799
You actually need to get out of that state every once in a while.
00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:20.079
It's gonna burn you up.
00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:24.480
I mean, you're using a lot of glucose energy and your brain's working real hard.
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:31.039
So if you've had a really hard, long work day, but it went really well, you probably maintain that sapphire state for a while.
00:23:31.200 --> 00:23:32.880
But then you need to drop it for a bit.
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:36.880
Otherwise, you're not gonna be able to get back to it the next day or the day after that.
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:44.400
So, really an honest look at being sapphire is great, and you still need some time to not be there at moments, and you will not be there.
00:23:44.480 --> 00:23:48.160
And something might trigger it even for you to not be that flexible person.
00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:57.680
So when mom asks you the 15th same question for the 15th time in two hours, if you're in a sapphire, you'll go, mom, you're wondering about the doctor appointment.
00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:01.039
I mean, that's sapphire, but you can't hold that for forever.
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:03.759
And so at some point you might say, and you did it out loud.
00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:06.319
Shoot, it's a slip, it's a gem state slip.
00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:08.960
And you might even catch it and go, the doctor's appointment.
00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:09.839
Yeah.
00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:14.400
But if you do that for so long, I mean you just need a break.
00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:18.480
And and sapphire is a great place to be, but just recognize we don't hold it forever.
00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:20.480
It's not a thing that we do, we're not computers.
00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:21.759
That's very interesting.
00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:29.519
What about any hope that you can give to folks about, you know, just the brain's capacity for change and need for change, I guess.
00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:30.480
Yeah.
00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:41.440
So it's an interesting one because we Teepa and I were together this week and and she threw a question up on the board for one of the groups we were working with, and it it said something like, you know, what's true about dementia?
00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:44.880
And one of the options was people with dementia can't learn.
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:46.799
And that's a that's a fallacy, right?
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:50.799
We we have neuroplasticity from beginning to end in our brains.
00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:57.839
And I might not catch all the details, but I can definitely catch enough of it that I'll retain some of what I like or don't like.
00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:01.279
Or I I don't know that guy's name, but I know he was a good interviewer.
00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:05.200
I I can't remember exactly what it did, but it was a good conversation for folks.
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:10.000
And so I think part of that is also recognizing that we've got to work on our own skills.
00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:13.519
I mean, if if people are already changing, I gotta do some changing myself.
00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:22.000
If if they're changing, our relationship is changing, I probably can't do the same thing and get the same reactions or get the same responses from the person that I'm working with.
00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:36.880
And so that neuroplasticity idea, I think, is pretty essential to realize that they're, I mean, they've got dementia, they're not stupid, which is one of the phrases that our our friend living with dementia gave us, which is just priceless because you can't, I mean, you can try to trick me.
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:40.079
You can tell me the car, you know, the battery doesn't work.
00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:42.240
I know where the phone is, I can call triple A.
00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:44.640
They can get over here and replace the battery for me.
00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:53.359
So human beings are incredibly resilient when I want something, but I'll also figure a way to get the thing that I want if I can't get it with your help.
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:55.680
Alejandro, this has been great.
00:25:55.839 --> 00:25:59.039
Really appreciate all the information that you've provided us today.
00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:03.759
Is there any takeaway that you want to leave the audience with as we wrap things up today?
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:11.359
Yeah, I I would say no matter what gem state you're working with, try to see what the person has left and what you can utilize.
00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:14.319
Because yes, my language may not be great today.
00:26:14.480 --> 00:26:15.680
What did I do today?
00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:21.599
I got dressed by my, I mean, you I totally independently did all my buttons today and got that all on.
00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:23.920
And I actually made my own cup of coffee today.
00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:24.960
Like huge.
00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:35.920
And it's really tricky sometimes to spend a lot of time with someone and and have those things just go unseen and just focus on, well, they can't and they can't talk or they can't do this.
00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:40.319
Try to keep a log even of what what what can you celebrate today?
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:41.599
What went well today?
00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:44.480
What was the thing that you didn't have to assist today, potentially?
00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:47.039
What was the thing that, man, it was funny today.
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:49.279
That was a that was a that was a good one today.
00:26:49.359 --> 00:26:51.599
I worked with a lady a couple days ago.
00:26:51.839 --> 00:26:58.960
We were at a place and we were arranging flowers, and she looked over and said, Now, now you're kind of not American.
00:26:59.119 --> 00:27:01.200
And I went, you are absolutely right.
00:27:01.279 --> 00:27:02.160
I'm kind of not.
00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:03.920
And she said, You're something.
00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:05.519
And I said, I'm Puerto Rican.
00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:07.039
And she said, Puerto Rican.
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:10.720
And then she called four people over and said, Now let me tell you about him.
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:11.759
He's Puerto Rican.
00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:17.599
And it's like, man, I could, I could take that as some kind of a dig or like embarrassment.
00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:18.559
But it was great.
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:20.960
Like she invited people over and welcomed people over.
00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:26.079
And there are so many moments like that that I think can go under the rug because she can do the flowers.
00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:29.920
And so if I focused on she wasn't doing the flowers, I miss that opportunity.
00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:34.720
I miss that that thing that's going to keep me more sapphire throughout the day.
00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:41.200
Just that moment that we get with folks that is really important to hold on to, especially when things are getting tougher or changing.
00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:42.880
Because it helps your own gemstate.
00:27:43.119 --> 00:27:43.759
This has been great.
00:27:43.839 --> 00:27:48.640
And if you enjoyed this podcast, don't forget to subscribe to Advice from Your Advocates.
00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:51.200
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00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:55.920
And uh just to hit the subscribe button so you know when the new episodes are coming out.
00:27:56.079 --> 00:28:02.799
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00:28:02.960 --> 00:28:05.599
So thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:07.759
Thanks for listening.
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:11.039
To learn more, visit Manor Law Group.com.