WEBVTT
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Hey Val.
00:00:04.959 --> 00:00:07.040
Hey Jack, what are we doing?
00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:09.919
We're on the same time zone.
00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:13.679
We're on the same motherfucking time zone.
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Somebody asked me.
00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:21.280
Somebody asked me here what longitude and latitude Poland was on.
00:00:21.440 --> 00:00:23.519
And I was like, what the fuck are you asking me?
00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:24.480
I think it was my brother-in-law.
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Shut up.
00:00:27.440 --> 00:00:28.079
Shut up, yeah.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:29.359
But I was like, what?
00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:30.079
I don't know.
00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:31.920
No, nobody knows that.
00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:34.240
But I do know we're in the same same time zone.
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We're in the same time zone.
00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:36.479
We are.
00:00:36.640 --> 00:00:36.960
Yeah.
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Apologies.
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I feel like I still sound I my cold was much better.
00:00:40.880 --> 00:00:44.719
And then the kids convinced me to go down the slide at the pool and it did breathe.
00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:47.359
It did something to my the old ears.
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It didn't flush out.
00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:50.240
It didn't flush out.
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Oh my gosh.
00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:56.799
Mallory looks like a beautiful cold-ridden, plague-ridden Miss Cleo.
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I look like Great Gardens.
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I look like I am I do.
00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:06.719
I got home from the pool because I don't usually get my hair wet.
00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:09.200
And so I was like, oh, I gotta get all this chlorine out.
00:01:09.280 --> 00:01:13.120
And I did a I did a hair mask because I thought we were just doing an intro and an after.
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I didn't know we were gonna actually chat.
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So this is great.
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You know, turn those cameras on.
00:01:18.640 --> 00:01:19.200
We're beautiful.
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You are so beautiful.
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Beautiful.
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We're beautiful.
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Speaking of gray gardens, that is my husband and my dog right now.
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Because my daughter and I have been in America for about a week.
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And he is home with my dog, both of them just flitting about our apartment, talking to each other.
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Oh yeah.
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He has sent no fewer than like 30 memes to our group chat.
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I'm like, Poor Michael.
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So he's so bored.
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He's so lonely.
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He's like, come here, Harley.
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Look at this meme I just sent your mom.
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He just sent me five pictures of Harley in the burger place getting burgers.
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Like Harley's sitting here nice.
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Harley waiting for his burger.
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Harley having a bite.
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Harley Harley had his own burger.
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Is that fries?
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:09.120
He said he barely made weight on the way there.
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He did Harley make weight, but now he's there.
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So now we got to.
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Yeah, but he's got to come back.
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It's true.
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It's true.
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Knock on wood.
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Yeah.
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He said he made Harley, took all the pieces of his meal, and made Harley his own mini slider burger with a side of fries.
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I said, You've been on your own for too long already.
00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:28.639
Yeah, he's gonna be just losing.
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Although he did say he was like, you know what?
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Tomorrow I think I'm gonna clean out Eva's room and put some stuff in storage.
00:02:36.159 --> 00:02:40.879
I was like, that sounds he's so bored he's gonna do work around the house.
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He's gonna do deep organization.
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That's how boring he is.
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And I said scary.
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I said I support you.
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I don't know.
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I said, Jesus, take the wheel.
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Yeah, I guess.
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Yeah.
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I said, don't throw anything out, but just put it in the storage.
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Yeah.
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See if she brings it up.
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We're gonna do a three-month trial.
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If she doesn't bring it up, it's out of there.
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That's what I did.
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All the all the boxes of toys that were on our pod when we moved, they were on the pod for a month and a half.
00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:09.199
I said, fuck it, they're gone.
00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:09.520
Yep.
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They don't know anything about them.
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Nobody's asked a word about them.
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Nope.
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Nope.
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They're going to purgatory and then they're gonna be gone because we can't, we can't.
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We're we're out of square footage.
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We live in an apartment.
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Like, it's gotta go.
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I'm wearing my Americana crown, and then my job at CBS, which CBS, that place is fucking expensive.
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CBS that almost sent me into cardiac arrest.
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Oh, yeah.
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CBS a bitch.
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$300.
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$300 on this.
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How did you spend$300 at CVS?
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I bought more meth.
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I bought some meth.
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I bought some other pills.
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I don't know, some beauty products, this headband,$300 fucking dollars.
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American dollars.
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I was like, are those body?
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Yeah.
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This is gonna be hard when you come back.
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When you come back over yonder.
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Yeah, I was like, get me out of here.
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My mom now lives across the street from a Trader Joe's.
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So I'm I mean, I'm just just living my best life.
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Trader Joe's snacks.
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I'm really amazing.
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Absolutely thriving.
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What kind of snacks you got?
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I put one in my mouth.
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I pulled a U.
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These are my fat snacks from Trader Joe's.
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They're called snacky clusters.
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Have you ever gotten these?
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No, but you are I I swear to God, you you test this GLP one.
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You really do.
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You put it through the ringer.
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I push it to the break.
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Your shot is like, please just give me a week off.
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Let me work.
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But listen how good these sound.
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Help you.
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Listen how good these sound.
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It's pot sea salt potato chips, corn chips, and mini pretzel nuggets all bundled up covered in chocolate.
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Wow.
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That is not your like period PMS dream.
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Sweet, salty, savory.
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I mean, let's see how good these GLP ones work.
00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:09.519
You might be Tracy Morganing these GLP ones.
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I don't know where I am.
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I don't know who I am.
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Hard milk mellow in my mouth.
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You gotta take that dos on up, sister.
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I have since our feet have touched the ground.
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I think I've eaten about half a cow of beef in this last week.
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So you've just been sweating and shitting.
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Sweating and shitting.
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Sweating and shitting.
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First I I was sweating and shitting before I got on our flight because we had a five hour layover in Switzerland, and my daughter and I were like, we're going for it.
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Took the train, went into Zurich, and just had a full fondue lunch.
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And it was I just what I can't, I don't I don't.
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I really I didn't think you're over 40.
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You can't just go ape shit on cheese anymore.
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You know?
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You're not a youth.
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You're not a youth anymore.
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I'm not.
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I'm not.
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My my bowels, my digestive system is not of the youths.
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I mean, remember that time we just went out and had like two glasses of wine and a plate of cheese, and I threw up all night.
00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:13.360
You know?
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You did the wrong.
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Cheese is not for four-year-olds.
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It's you know, there's an age limit to cheese.
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It's I paid dearly in the airport for that.
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As did everybody else in that airport.
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You know?
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You really you are America first, is what you are.
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You're like, I'm gonna get mine and I'm gonna blow this fucking bathroom to the sky.
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We're eight hours together, folks.
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Fuck my community.
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It's me.
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It's me.
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It's all about me.
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Yeah.
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I got a fondue shot.
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Yeah, and I'm good.
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Exactly.
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A fun.
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Oh, I thought you meant like a you replaced your Wigovie with a fondue shot.
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I mean I practically did.
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I pretty much did.
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I did.
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Injecting fondue right into your gut.
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Yeah, your gullet.
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I did not travel with my GLP ones because I was like, fuck it.
00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:05.279
So I am on the I'm on the uh fondue shot.
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I'm on the cheeseburger shop.
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I'm on stage.
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I'll bring you, I'll bring you an extra pen when I see you next weekend.
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Get your ass on track.
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Stab me when we get to New York.
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Yeah.
00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:20.879
I'm just gonna be like, you know, those in the movies where they just get you in the neck and then I like hold your body as you pass out.
00:07:25.759 --> 00:07:27.120
Just whisper in my ear.
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Yeah.
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This is for your fat bitch.
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Dumb fat bitch.
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Oh my god.
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Amazing.
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I love it.
00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:42.319
I love it.
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I love it.
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It's so good.
00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:45.040
How was your fourth?
00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:46.879
Fourth was good.
00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:48.480
It was hot as shit.
00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:51.839
We were in the depths of the heat wave.
00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:55.519
It was 113, was the heat index.
00:07:55.839 --> 00:07:56.639
Jesus Christ.
00:07:56.800 --> 00:08:10.399
So we walked in the neighborhood parade that luckily was like less than a quarter of a mile and ended at the pool, and I was just like sweeping kids out of the way, sprinted to the pool, ripped all my shoes off, and just jumped in.
00:08:10.480 --> 00:08:13.360
The pool water was 89 degrees.
00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:17.199
So you're just saying you're just in like the the Hungarian bath bathhouse.
00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:17.600
Yeah.
00:08:18.079 --> 00:08:18.160
Yeah.
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I mean, it really wasn't any better to be in the water.
00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:21.839
And the pool was crowded.
00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:29.040
We stayed for a couple hours and then went home and just tried to get the kids to rest because they we really wanted to do fireworks.
00:08:29.199 --> 00:08:38.960
So, you know, on the fourth and on New Year's is when my my uh you know white trash text that really comes out and I do ape shit on the fireworks.
00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:39.360
Yeah.
00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:44.799
We went to a fireworks stand, I blacked out, I just started pointing$136 later.
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My husband's like, what did you just do?
00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:48.879
I'm like, trust me, it's gonna be good.
00:08:49.679 --> 00:08:50.480
Yeah, don't worry about it.
00:08:50.799 --> 00:08:52.960
Like, you mind your own business.
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Just get yourself a get yourself a folding chair.
00:08:56.879 --> 00:08:57.360
Exactly.
00:08:57.600 --> 00:08:59.279
Just watch, enjoy the show.
00:08:59.519 --> 00:09:00.000
Yeah.
00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:02.799
So we set off some fireworks.
00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:07.600
The neighbors down the street did a huge display, like into the air, like totally illegal, I'm sure.
00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:08.320
Beautiful.
00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:08.879
Even better.
00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:09.759
It was awesome.
00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:10.879
Kids loved it.
00:09:11.039 --> 00:09:12.799
They played with sparklers, you know.
00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:15.679
Eliza's like, Mama, you are a fireworks expert.
00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:16.960
I'm like, damn right.
00:09:18.399 --> 00:09:18.879
That's what we do.
00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:19.360
That's right.
00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:28.000
My brother in high school and college, he would work at a fireworks stand for like a week before each of the major holidays, and they would pay him in fireworks.
00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:32.000
And then we would just go nuts.
00:09:32.720 --> 00:09:33.600
The hut.
00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:35.120
That's just other things.
00:09:35.279 --> 00:09:35.759
Oh yeah.
00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:38.799
You're gonna pay me in power, pay me in explosives.
00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:42.559
Yeah, well, it was more of a you know, Hispanic accent than that.
00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:43.120
Oh, okay.
00:09:43.279 --> 00:09:44.240
But yeah, I understood.
00:09:44.399 --> 00:09:45.039
Yeah.
00:09:45.600 --> 00:09:47.279
They're like, You want these fireworks?
00:09:47.440 --> 00:09:47.759
SA.
00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:49.440
He's like, Yes, I do.
00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:51.440
Yeah.
00:09:51.679 --> 00:09:52.320
I love it.
00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:53.759
Yeah, it was it was great.
00:09:53.919 --> 00:09:55.840
How was your fourth in America?
00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:57.200
It was good, man.
00:09:57.360 --> 00:10:04.879
We were still dazed and confused, but we just dove right in, dirty jurors, went to a parade, we bought fire trucks.
00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:09.039
My daughter got to collect candy, talk to American kids.
00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:14.879
They had like it was uh so fucking hot because of course we're in the same longitude, latitude.
00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:18.799
And and they Oh look at you who knows longitude and latitude now.
00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:24.000
That would just assume you're somebody asked you about it one time and you're like let me tell you my coordinates.
00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:25.679
Let me tell you my coordinates.
00:10:25.919 --> 00:10:37.120
They sprayed like the kids, like the ground with like the fire hoses, like they set it up on the ladder so it just rained like it rained, yeah, and that was the most refreshing.
00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:40.159
I mean, I was just full in fully care.
00:10:40.559 --> 00:10:41.120
Totally, yeah.
00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:42.960
Yeah, that's rain on me.
00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:44.080
Yeah, it was fun.
00:10:44.159 --> 00:10:44.799
It was a lot of fun.
00:10:44.879 --> 00:10:47.600
I ate a lot of beef, I ate a lot of bagels.
00:10:47.919 --> 00:10:51.120
Oh god, a good New Jersey bagel.
00:10:51.360 --> 00:10:52.399
Just put it in my vein.
00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:54.240
I mean, it's just a food tour.
00:10:54.399 --> 00:10:57.519
I again I'm pushing the GLP ones to the absolute max.
00:10:57.679 --> 00:10:57.840
Right.
00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:00.320
And I've never got they've given up, you know.
00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:03.759
They've uh DLP ones have left the chat.
00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:06.000
You're on your own, bitch.
00:11:06.480 --> 00:11:08.000
Yeah, they're like, I I did what I could.
00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:09.039
I did what I could.
00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:10.399
Guys, we are in it.
00:11:10.559 --> 00:11:14.159
We are in ju Jupiter is in is in Uranus.
00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:14.960
Retrograde.
00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:21.200
We're in we're retrograding and it blasted off into Uranus.
00:11:21.519 --> 00:11:26.639
We had a strawberry moon blast off into Uranus.
00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:33.759
They they turned off the CERN, the the thing that spins the atoms, it's off for four years.
00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:36.480
So same time we went into Mercury retrograde.
00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:42.720
So I mean Jackie tells me we can't get political on this podcast, but how do we I'm trying to steer us away.
00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:43.440
Trying to.
00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:45.039
And you're steering us back.
00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:48.960
You're probably gonna cut all this, but probably gonna cut a lot.
00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:50.080
I'm sorry.
00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:51.600
This is outrageous.
00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:52.799
This is outrageous.
00:11:53.039 --> 00:11:54.240
Here's the thing I'm excited about.
00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:58.799
So they turned off the CERN, which I'm gonna look up exactly what the CERN is.
00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:00.320
Hold on, hold on.
00:12:00.559 --> 00:12:05.759
CERN, CERN, high CERN Hydron Collider.
00:12:06.480 --> 00:12:07.120
Oh gosh.
00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:07.759
Okay.
00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:13.519
It's the world's largest and highest energy particle about this particle accelerator.
00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.080
It was built by the Europeans, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:17.519
They're turning it off.
00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:19.440
CERN shuts down.
00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:20.559
Okay, hold on.
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:22.000
Please hold.
00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:23.200
Please hold.
00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:31.279
World's largest and most powerful Atom Smasher has entered a planned four-year shutdown that will upgrade it to its most capable form.
00:12:31.919 --> 00:12:37.440
Last time they turned this off, I want to say was 2019.
00:12:38.559 --> 00:12:38.720
Okay.
00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:40.159
Okay.
00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:42.320
We all know what happened after that.
00:12:42.720 --> 00:12:44.720
And so this thing is off for four years.
00:12:44.960 --> 00:12:55.360
So I am hopeful that this is gonna shift us back to the timeline where there's a fruit cornucopia on the fruit of the loom logo.
00:12:55.919 --> 00:13:00.080
Where it's Baron Steen Bears and not Baron Stein Bears.
00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:07.200
Where how many how many psychics are you following?
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:13.919
Where Shazam is a movie again with the guy who's a genie.
00:13:14.320 --> 00:13:14.799
Shaq.
00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:18.320
No, not Shaq.
00:13:19.039 --> 00:13:20.559
Oh no, what is this?
00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:22.559
2019 action comedy.
00:13:23.600 --> 00:13:24.320
Exactly.
00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:25.600
Exactly.
00:13:25.840 --> 00:13:26.480
Thank you.
00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:28.639
Shaquille O'Neal.
00:13:28.720 --> 00:13:29.919
Oh, it was Kazam.
00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:30.799
Kazam.
00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:32.720
The rapping jean, it was Kazam.
00:13:32.799 --> 00:13:33.039
Okay.
00:13:33.120 --> 00:13:34.720
It wasn't like it didn't exist.
00:13:34.960 --> 00:13:37.120
It was just called Kazam, not Shazam.
00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:39.600
Ah, well that's not really one of those things to me.
00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:40.639
What are those things called?
00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:43.039
It's called the Mandela effect.
00:13:43.679 --> 00:13:44.480
The Mandela effect.
00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:50.000
Okay, but the Fruit of the Loom one is legit, and the Barenstein Bears one really bothers me.
00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:53.519
Because it's stain, that's how it's spelled.
00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:55.600
Baronstein.
00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:57.039
But that's not how it's spelled.
00:13:57.120 --> 00:13:58.639
It's always Baronstein.
00:14:00.080 --> 00:14:00.399
Oh yeah.
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:02.960
You say it Barrenstein, but it is Barrenstein.
00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:03.600
What the hell?
00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:05.200
No, it's not Barrenstein.
00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:08.159
It's gonna go back to the spelled Barenstein.
00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:11.200
Right, in in the crummy timeline.
00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:14.879
We're gonna go back to the real timeline where it's Baronstein.
00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:17.039
That is my hope.
00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:19.200
And then fruit of the loom.
00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:20.320
Do you remember the Goring?
00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:22.480
It's not going back to a thing.
00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:26.080
It's going to a thing that never existed, but we all in our minds thought existed.
00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:27.519
No, because it did exist.
00:14:27.679 --> 00:14:29.039
Don't let them trick you, Mallory.
00:14:29.279 --> 00:14:35.440
It did exist, and then they changed it to mess with our minds so that they can tell us that things aren't true that have happened.
00:14:37.519 --> 00:14:38.320
Fruit of the loom.
00:14:38.720 --> 00:14:39.840
Fruit of the loom logo.
00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:41.679
Do you remember a cornucopia?
00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:43.120
Of course, yes.
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:43.759
No.
00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:45.679
They say it never existed.
00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:49.679
They say there was never a fruit of the loom cornucopia.
00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:53.360
Monopoly man wearing a monocle or not?
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:54.399
Yes.
00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:55.360
No.
00:14:57.279 --> 00:14:57.679
Mm-hmm.
00:14:58.159 --> 00:14:58.639
Mm-hmm.
00:14:59.039 --> 00:15:00.399
Here, this one's for Brandon.
00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:03.120
Brandon, what's the famous Mandela effect.
00:15:03.759 --> 00:15:06.799
What's the famous Darth Vader line?
00:15:09.039 --> 00:15:09.440
Nope.
00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:12.639
It's just no, I am your father.
00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:14.720
Yep.
00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:15.679
See?
00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:16.559
That's not right.
00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:18.879
Nelson Mandela?
00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:19.440
Yes.
00:15:20.879 --> 00:15:25.600
Because they said like Nelson Mandela died, but then he like didn't die for like 30 more years.
00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:26.799
Yeah.
00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:31.360
So it's like how there's do you think there's a cornucopia in the fruit of the loom logo?
00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:32.559
There ever was.
00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:33.279
Oh my God.
00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:33.679
I don't know.
00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:36.000
It's just I don't I I don't know.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:37.759
Because you'd have to define cornucopia.
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:40.559
I mean, that's a whole that's a lo that's a very loaded.
00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:42.159
Define cornucopia.
00:15:42.879 --> 00:15:44.559
I did not think the cornucopia.
00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:46.879
The lawyer has entered the chat.
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:49.519
We have to define cornucopia.
00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:53.200
Cornucopia is the a a cornucopia is the container.
00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:54.080
The container?
00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:59.200
But can you I'm used to the Thanksgiving cornucopia, which is mostly like squash and oh my god.
00:15:59.279 --> 00:16:04.080
It's just all get the lawyer out of here.
00:16:05.519 --> 00:16:07.519
So that's what I'm telling you.
00:16:07.919 --> 00:16:12.240
A decorative horn-shaped container overflowing with produce, flowers, or nuts.
00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:12.799
Oh, okay.
00:16:13.200 --> 00:16:14.080
Oh, I guess produce.
00:16:14.399 --> 00:16:18.159
Okay, you can put produce and it would work, but I don't think there's a corner cookie on it.
00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:18.559
All right.
00:16:18.639 --> 00:16:19.840
Well, is there?
00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:20.159
Yeah.
00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:22.000
No, there's not, but lots of people thought.
00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:24.000
Let me see if Brandon remembers this.
00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:30.000
Brandon, do you remember there being a Sinbad genie movie that existed?
00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:32.799
Do you remember Sinbad, the com Genie movie?
00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:34.559
What did what do you think that movie was called?
00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:36.080
What do you remember that movie being called?
00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:37.600
Oh, I d I don't remember the name.
00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:39.360
Shaq had Shaza, right?
00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:39.919
Or something.
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:40.720
Kazah.
00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:49.600
So Shaq had Kazam, but the rest of us remember a Sinbad Genie movie called like Shazam or something like that.
00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:52.000
But they are saying there was never.
00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:55.600
If you look up Sinbad, he is never in a genie movie.
00:16:55.679 --> 00:16:56.960
And that is untrue.
00:16:57.200 --> 00:16:59.600
I remember a Sinbad genie movie.
00:16:59.919 --> 00:17:01.679
Well, he used to wear those hammer pants.
00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:05.039
I think he used to wear genie pandemic when he did a standout.
00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:07.440
Our family was a big Sinbad standout.
00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:09.519
And then he fake died for a while, right?
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:11.440
I think he did fake die.
00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:13.680
Remember like it was reported that he died?
00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:14.480
But he really didn't?
00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:15.200
Interesting.
00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:16.000
Wow.
00:17:16.079 --> 00:17:17.200
No, I did not know about that.
00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:19.440
And that like it like rejuvenated his career.
00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:23.039
Maybe I'll try that.
00:17:24.640 --> 00:17:26.720
The Bernstein Bears really bothers me.
00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:29.039
Do you remember the Bernstein Bears, Brandon?
00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:30.319
Yeah.
00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:32.319
Is it Bernstein or Bernstein?
00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:33.279
I thought it was Stein.
00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:34.720
Yeah, nope, it's spelled Stain.
00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:36.240
Like S-T-A-I-Y.
00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:37.200
Yeah, Stein.
00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:38.160
Is it Bern?
00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:39.680
How is it spelled?
00:17:39.839 --> 00:17:40.319
B-E-R.
00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:43.279
Curious George, did he have a tail or not?
00:17:44.079 --> 00:17:44.559
Yeah.
00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:47.920
No, come on, he had a tail.
00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:48.880
Never had a tail?
00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:49.599
He did.
00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:50.319
Well.
00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:51.279
Never had a tail.
00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:55.839
I made the mistake of buying the original Curious George books for Eliza when she was little.
00:17:55.920 --> 00:18:00.559
And let me tell you, Curious George has a very difficult origin story.
00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:00.960
Alright?
00:18:01.119 --> 00:18:05.119
The man in the yellow hat basically kidnapped him from the jungle and got him smoking.
00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:14.240
Brandon, the the Monopoly Man, monocle or no monocle?
00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:17.359
No monocle.
00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:19.359
Telling you many whole thing.
00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:19.680
I know.
00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:20.319
Or is it Mr.
00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:20.480
Peanut?
00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:20.799
Right.
00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:21.759
That might be Mr.
00:18:21.839 --> 00:18:22.160
Peanut.
00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:24.799
It might be conflating Mr.
00:18:24.880 --> 00:18:25.839
Peanut and Mr.
00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:26.720
Peanut definitely has to be.
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:27.119
Is Mr.
00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:29.519
Peanut just the Monopoly Man in a peanut costume?
00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:32.880
I feel like there was a peanut one as well.
00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:34.799
Okay, this one I always remembered.
00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:35.839
Chick fil A.
00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:41.200
I always remembered it being spelled C-H-I-C-F-I-L-A.
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:43.519
Not with the chick.
00:18:43.759 --> 00:18:46.799
The way it's spelled now is chick, like a chick.
00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:49.039
With a C-H-I-C-K.
00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:49.920
Yeah.
00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:51.839
I feel like I remember it now having a K on it.
00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:53.599
Yeah, but I thought the same thing.
00:18:53.839 --> 00:18:54.240
Yeah.
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:55.200
Okay.
00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:56.079
Pikachu's.
00:18:58.000 --> 00:18:59.039
Do you remember Pikachu?
00:19:01.599 --> 00:19:02.799
Do you remember his tail?
00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:05.200
No, I don't remember anything.
00:19:05.599 --> 00:19:06.000
Oh, okay.
00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:09.039
I always remembered his tail having a black tip to it.
00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:11.119
But they say it does not.
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:12.240
Oh.
00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:13.200
Does it have any tip?
00:19:13.920 --> 00:19:14.079
Nope.
00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:14.640
Just the tip.
00:19:14.960 --> 00:19:15.759
Just all yellow.
00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:17.680
It's just the tip.
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:19.680
It's just the tipless.
00:19:21.440 --> 00:19:22.559
No tip at all.
00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:24.720
This is like European roll.
00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:25.759
No tip.
00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:28.319
Alright, those were those were some of my Oh no, this is a good one.
00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:29.039
This is the last one.
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:30.480
Okay.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:32.240
Fruit loops.
00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:35.440
How do you spell fruit loops?
00:19:36.160 --> 00:19:36.960
Oh serious.
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:38.000
Fruit.
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:39.519
F-R-O-O-T.
00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:41.839
I honestly have no idea.
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:45.680
Alright, well, I always remembered it fruit as F-R-U-I-T.
00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:47.519
What it's O-O-T?
00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:49.599
It's a it's fruit loops.
00:19:49.920 --> 00:19:50.319
I guess.
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:51.680
Yeah, I remember that one.
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:55.359
Mallory's a secret government spy, so it's fine.
00:19:57.680 --> 00:19:59.200
I'm just talking to the enemy.
00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:00.400
Talking to the enemy.
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:02.400
Tell all your psychics to suck it.
00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.000
Tell all the psychics to suck it.
00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:07.680
So I'm hoping that the CERN getting turned off is gonna shift some of these back.
00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:10.640
The main ones I really want back are Barenstein bears.
00:20:11.119 --> 00:20:11.440
Mm-mm.
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:11.839
Yeah.
00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:13.599
And the uh fruit of the loom bears.
00:20:13.839 --> 00:20:14.880
I want the cornucopia back.
00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:16.079
Those are my top two.
00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:17.920
Yeah.
00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:18.240
Yeah.
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:20.880
Once we define what cornucopia is.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:26.640
Brandon's gonna be a good one though.
00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:33.680
Oh, we forgot to update everybody on our latest travel plans.
00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:38.000
So we got how have we forgotten?
00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:41.920
We did, we we did narrowly escape the brothel, right?
00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:44.640
But then Jackie booked us somewhere else.
00:20:44.880 --> 00:20:46.880
So that was not a brothel in New York.
00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:49.279
My boss, well, okay, that's a low bar.
00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:52.559
My boss lives in New York City, and I'm like, is this a good location?
00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:54.160
She's like, it's the worst.
00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:55.920
It's in between the train station and the book.
00:20:57.039 --> 00:21:01.279
She's like, it's gonna be so loud, it's gonna be crowded, the reviews are terrible.
00:21:01.759 --> 00:21:03.680
So I was like, Jackie, I can't stay here.
00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:04.799
She's like, what are you talking about?
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:06.000
I'm like, I'm not doing it.
00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:06.640
I'm sorry.
00:21:06.720 --> 00:21:07.519
I I can't.
00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:09.920
So I found us another place and booked it.
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:15.599
And I could, well, before I found it and booked it, I called the place that Jackie booked and I said, I am Jacqueline.
00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:16.720
Please cancel.
00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:18.319
You stole my identity.
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:19.359
You stole my identity.
00:21:19.519 --> 00:21:20.400
You stole your identity.
00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:20.799
Right.
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:21.519
Canceled.
00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:24.319
And then I dent you, I canceled.
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:26.559
And he said, You canceled what?
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:29.119
I was like, canceled our hotel.
00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:31.440
Did you panic?
00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:32.240
Oh, I have to read.
00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:33.039
I'm gonna read it.
00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:34.799
We are toothless, not homeless.
00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:37.839
Homeless, not toothless.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.240
Toothless, not homeless.
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:44.480
She says, blah blah blah blah blah blah.
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:49.359
She sends me this whole thing about the what her boss said in the area and this and that.
00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:54.559
And I just send her the like Jim Carrey and Dumb and Dumb are like la la la la la, I can't hear you.
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:59.200
I was like, girl, it's non refundable, which when I booked it, it told me it was non refundable, but I guess that wasn't the truth.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.440
Well, hold on.
00:22:01.519 --> 00:22:05.680
We need to back up for a second because I feel like we forgot the most important part of the story, right?
00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:11.519
Which is that before we talk about going to New York, I say, Jackie, whatever you do, do not come anywhere near the World Cup.
00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:12.880
Make sure it's totally over.
00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:15.920
Not just in New York, but like that it's not happening at all, right?
00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:16.720
Like it's done.
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:17.440
Got you.
00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:18.160
Yeah, definitely.
00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:19.119
That's a great idea.
00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:20.240
What does she do?
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:25.680
She picks the weekend of the World Cup final, that is in New York.
00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:26.720
Okay?
00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:27.680
Unbeknownst.
00:22:28.079 --> 00:22:34.640
We can't figure out why all the prices are like triple at all of the hotels in all of New York.
00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:40.400
So I had originally wanted to stay in Midtown because I thought the girls would like it and all this stuff, but now I'm like, okay, well, it's World Cup.
00:22:40.480 --> 00:22:41.519
We can't stay in Midtown.
00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:43.119
That's going to be like insane.
00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:43.680
Why?
00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:44.559
It's New York.
00:22:44.640 --> 00:22:46.000
It can fit the people.
00:22:46.240 --> 00:22:47.680
It's not the entire world.
00:22:47.839 --> 00:22:52.960
It's the just the two teams in the New Jersey teams.
00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:54.799
The game's in New Jersey.
00:22:55.039 --> 00:22:55.839
It's not even in New York.
00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:58.720
See, listener, you see what I'm dealing with here?
00:22:59.200 --> 00:22:59.680
All right.
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:05.200
So she's not only ignores my advice to not come at all during the World Cup.
00:23:05.279 --> 00:23:10.160
She picks the biggest weekend in the city where the World Cup is.
00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:10.720
Okay.
00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:11.599
Literally.
00:23:12.079 --> 00:23:13.039
Unbeknownst to me.
00:23:13.119 --> 00:23:13.599
I did not know.
00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:15.359
You did not Google this.
00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:16.400
I did not Google it.
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:18.079
You did not Google.
00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:18.799
I didn't Google it.
00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:20.480
All it takes is a simple Google search.
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:21.279
I didn't Google it.
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:23.839
We only had one there.
00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:25.359
We would have avoided all this mess.
00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:27.519
We had one weekend that worked for the three of us.
00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:29.359
Said, okay, book it, Dano.
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:30.240
Let's do it.
00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:32.720
And then we were like, huh, why is this so expensive?
00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:39.440
We even said it in the last podcast, like, we cannot understand why this weekend, this one weekend in July was so expensive, didn't make any sense.
00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:43.599
And then Mallory text one time the US is hosting the World Cup.
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:47.519
Texted me in the dead of night and is like, you stupid bitch.
00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:49.599
It's the night of the World Cup final.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:51.200
And I was like, whoops.
00:23:51.839 --> 00:23:52.480
Whoopsie.
00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:54.400
Jacqueline Bassette.
00:23:56.960 --> 00:23:57.920
What have you done?
00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:00.000
Sweet Jesus, what have you done?
00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:01.519
I said, I didn't know.
00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:02.400
I didn't know.
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:03.599
But I'm excited.
00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:07.519
I I'm excited to be there for the the World Series, the whatever the fuck it's called.
00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:08.960
The World Series of Soccer.
00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:09.920
Series finale.
00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:10.720
The world series.
00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:16.799
The American song.
00:24:17.119 --> 00:24:18.400
It's going to be a blast.
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:19.440
I can't wait.
00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:21.279
It's Mom Donnie's New York, baby.
00:24:21.359 --> 00:24:22.720
It's going to be, it's going to be good.
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:23.680
It's going to be easy.
00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:25.200
That's your babe.
00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:29.920
We'll get into one of the those little uh vans driving around cooling people off, you know.
00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:30.559
Yeah.
00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:31.519
It's gonna be so fun.
00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:34.720
So Mallory's in full panic because it's the World Cup final.
00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:36.400
And I'm like, it's gonna be fine.
00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:37.279
It's gonna be fine.
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:39.279
In the busiest part of New York.
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:40.160
We're staying in the city.
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.480
Every area is busy next to the train station.
00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:43.599
No, it isn't.
00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:44.079
It is not.
00:24:44.240 --> 00:24:47.039
The village is not busy the way that Midtown is.
00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:48.160
Come on, you live there.
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:49.519
Don't act like you don't know this.
00:24:49.759 --> 00:24:51.920
So first I'm calming Mallory down about this.
00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:53.440
And then I get the panic text.
00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:56.400
It's like, my I talked to my boss, we can't stay there.
00:24:56.480 --> 00:24:57.920
I'm I'm canceling everything.
00:24:58.079 --> 00:24:59.440
And I was like, what are you doing?
00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:00.160
It is fine.
00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:01.279
And she was like, I'm gonna call.
00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:02.319
I'm like, call who?
00:25:02.720 --> 00:25:04.079
The hotel is fine.
00:25:04.319 --> 00:25:05.680
And she's sending me this hotel.
00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:08.480
I'm like, we cannot afford the hotel that you're sending me.
00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:09.759
And I'm like, just let it be.
00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:12.079
And she was like, there are a lot of options that we can afford.
00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:13.039
I was like, where?
00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:14.160
We looked everywhere.
00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:21.200
She was like, Outside actually, I will pay one nickel to stay in New York on World Cup weekend.
00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:22.880
And that's my final offer.
00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:26.720
I will pay prices, prices, right rules, one dollar.
00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:27.039
Right.
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:29.279
Right.
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:30.799
And that is it.
00:25:30.960 --> 00:25:32.240
I will not go over.
00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:34.400
And then she's like, I canceled it.
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:35.119
Don't kill me.
00:25:35.279 --> 00:25:37.680
And then an immediate voice call from me.
00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:38.960
She called me.
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:40.799
She's like, What the hell are you doing?
00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:42.160
Why are you canceling it?
00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:43.920
We're never going to find another hotel.
00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:45.039
She was like, I'm going to find out.
00:25:46.559 --> 00:25:48.480
I was talking to my boss as I'm doing all this.
00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:49.839
I'm like, oh, she's so mad at me.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:52.079
And she was like, Well, she had her chance to book something.
00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:53.680
She looked twice wrong.
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:54.960
I was like, you know what?
00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:55.920
That's a great point.
00:25:56.079 --> 00:25:56.880
Thank you.
00:25:57.119 --> 00:25:58.319
I think you said that too.
00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:00.559
You had your chance and you blew it.
00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:02.960
No, it's two chances.
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:04.640
You had two chances.
00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:06.319
You blew it.
00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:10.240
I said, I will not pay a penny over what we were paying before.
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:10.720
No.
00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:12.240
Which I think those words.
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:14.559
But yeah, it's fine.
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:14.880
Yeah.
00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:16.799
And then you're like, I got them.
00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:18.240
I got two hotel rooms.
00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:19.279
They're connecting.
00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:20.000
It's perfect.
00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:23.680
And then later on, she's like, the hotel rooms are actually not connecting.
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:25.039
They're not connecting.
00:26:25.359 --> 00:26:26.319
That's exactly what we did.
00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:27.599
It's fine.
00:26:27.839 --> 00:26:28.079
Fine.
00:26:28.319 --> 00:26:29.039
We're gonna figure it out.
00:26:29.279 --> 00:26:29.519
It's fine.
00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:29.920
It's fine.
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:31.680
I just had like 10 beds in a room.
00:26:31.839 --> 00:26:34.559
It's not Rikers Island, like the first option.
00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:36.960
The second option was fine.
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:37.759
We had our room.
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:39.759
It was not our cute little room with the bus bed.
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:40.160
It's fine.
00:26:40.400 --> 00:26:40.720
Connected.
00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:41.920
It would have been marvelous.
00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:42.880
It was not fine.
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:43.759
It would have been marvelous.
00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:44.720
It's not fine.
00:26:45.119 --> 00:26:48.400
So, you know, Goldilocks in the three hotel rooms.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:49.440
So this is it.
00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:50.000
Number three.
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:50.880
This is just right.
00:26:51.119 --> 00:26:52.079
This is just right.
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:52.640
The first one.
00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:53.440
You know what?
00:26:53.519 --> 00:26:55.759
It's a normal one that we've heard of.
00:26:55.920 --> 00:27:00.880
It's not the Bebo Boo, which was the first one, or the P Papoo, the second one.
00:27:01.039 --> 00:27:06.079
This one is just a normal, you know, I think it's a holiday in or something.
00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:08.319
Sheraton, something like that.
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:10.880
Oh you know, something we've heard of.
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:13.039
The first one was too illegal.
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:15.759
The second one was too white trash.
00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:17.519
The third one, just right.
00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:18.480
It's just right.
00:27:19.119 --> 00:27:19.759
It's just right.
00:27:19.920 --> 00:27:25.440
So Princess Mallory is happy and I love New York.
00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:26.000
I love it.
00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:27.279
Staying in New York.
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:32.240
I I just I always picture bed bugs crawling all over my body.
00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:35.920
Like I just, it's all look under the mattress so much before you lay in it.
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:47.680
I used to, for work, I used to stay a lot at one of those, I forget what it's called, but it's supposed to be like a club, so it's all like really dimly lit, and you can never like there's get lights on anything.
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:48.319
You know what I mean?
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:50.880
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:51.759
For the name of it.
00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:52.480
You know what I'm talking about.
00:27:52.799 --> 00:27:54.559
Like the W hotel anything.
00:27:54.799 --> 00:27:55.599
It's something like that.
00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:55.920
Yeah.
00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:59.519
It's a version of the W, but you can never get the lights all the way out.
00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:00.720
No, no, they don't want to.
00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:01.759
Yeah.
00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:02.319
Yeah.
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:05.839
You're doing your makeup in the dark, basically, because they're like, you don't need to see what's in here.
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:06.640
You don't need to, you know.
00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:07.039
Shh.
00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:07.680
Yeah.
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:08.559
You don't need to see.
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:09.680
Yeah, exactly.
00:28:09.839 --> 00:28:10.640
This isn't your business.
00:28:10.880 --> 00:28:12.400
No, no, it's not your business.
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:13.599
All right, Mallory.
00:28:13.759 --> 00:28:16.480
Well, I can't wait to see you next week with the girls.
00:28:17.039 --> 00:28:18.160
It's gonna be the best.
00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:26.400
Doing all the things the American Girl Experience, MS, MMs, Times Square.
00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:31.200
I'm gonna force you to go to the Krispy Kreme and get one hot off the line, and then you're gonna have to tell me.
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:31.920
Oh my god.
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:33.119
You gotta get one hot.
00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:34.960
It's happening.
00:28:35.200 --> 00:28:37.920
I'm gonna get you a donkey donut cold and stale.
00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:39.039
Just how God said it.
00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:39.920
Right, exactly.
00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:42.079
And I'll be like, what is this trash?
00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:44.559
I'm gonna stab you.
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:50.880
Me and Catherine are just gonna show up with like two shots each and just jam you up.
00:28:51.119 --> 00:28:55.519
You know, we're just gonna all the jam-ye ones you've been missing.
00:28:55.920 --> 00:29:01.279
I have been rolling around an ivy bag of Dunkin' iced coffee just direct to the main line.
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:02.559
Yeah, direct to the veins.
00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:03.599
So that feels good.
00:29:03.920 --> 00:29:04.720
I feel alive.
00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:05.519
That feels really good.
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:05.920
Yeah.
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:08.960
So you're just cheese and meat is all that's happening in there, right?
00:29:09.359 --> 00:29:10.559
Cheese and meat and iced coffee.
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:10.960
That's it.
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:11.279
Cool.
00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:12.960
That sounds like a healthy, yeah.
00:29:13.039 --> 00:29:15.599
You're like, what is the recipe for gut health?
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:16.400
Mm-hmm.
00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:18.960
Beef, cheese, and iced coffee.
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:20.079
And these are little better.
00:29:20.559 --> 00:29:22.000
Chocolate potato chips.
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:23.759
And snacky clusters.
00:29:24.079 --> 00:29:25.440
Trader Joe's clusters.
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:27.519
My little snacky clusters.
00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:30.319
God, I love Trader Joe's, man.
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:33.039
If they delivered, they would be unstoppable.
00:29:33.359 --> 00:29:34.799
They would be unstoppable.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:37.359
Trader Joe's is top tier.
00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:42.960
The only thing that's like the reason I don't get it more is just because like I'm not, I don't want to go fuck with it all.
00:29:43.119 --> 00:29:43.279
You know?
00:29:43.599 --> 00:29:43.680
No.
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:48.240
If they delivered honey done.
00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:49.920
It would be they would take over the world.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:51.279
There'd be no other grocery stores.
00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:52.079
Amazing.
00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:54.799
Well, uh hoping this episode's gonna get out today.
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:57.119
Again, sorry, summer break, you know.
00:29:57.599 --> 00:29:58.319
We're doing what we can.
00:29:58.640 --> 00:30:02.880
I mean, listen to me, look at me, you know, coming to you live.
00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:06.240
We're doing it on very gardens.
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:08.000
But you know, we're we're gonna get through the summer.
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:10.480
We're in the summer, we're gonna eat our summer.
00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:12.559
We're gonna eat all of it.
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:13.519
We're gonna eat it all.
00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:22.240
We're gonna eat it all, and we are going to record next week, hopefully, with my sister-in-law, who is weekend, next weekend with Catherine.
00:30:22.799 --> 00:30:23.440
And with Katherine.
00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:26.319
Yeah, maybe our daughters, who knows, you know?
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:27.359
Maybe, yeah.
00:30:27.519 --> 00:30:33.440
She lives in Newport, aesthetician to the stars, and she has a lot of Bravo Rhode Island.
00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:34.799
Oh my god, I can't.
00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:35.920
I have so many questions.
00:30:36.079 --> 00:30:37.599
I have so many questions.
00:30:37.839 --> 00:30:38.559
So many.
00:30:38.720 --> 00:30:39.519
I cannot wait.
00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:40.880
So that'll be a special app.
00:30:41.279 --> 00:30:43.359
And then we're gonna have Calvin Friend of the Pots.
00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:44.400
So we got stuff coming.
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:46.559
We got a lot of big things.
00:30:46.880 --> 00:30:48.160
And we still have KDP.
00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:48.799
She's ready.
00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:49.839
She's locked and loaded.
00:30:50.079 --> 00:30:50.880
She's locked and loaded.
00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:52.160
She's got questions for her.
00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:53.119
So it's gonna be.
00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:54.960
Starting with the star patches.
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:56.960
Starting with the star patches.
00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:02.880
We really need to bring her to the red table and make her answer for all we need to get to the bottom of that.
00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:04.480
We need to get to the bottom of that.
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:05.440
Absolutely.
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:07.119
Alright, follow us on the socials.
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:10.559
See all of Mallory's work on a Kiki catch up, our Instagram page.
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:11.759
She's really killing it.
00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:12.960
Really getting into the context.
00:31:13.279 --> 00:31:18.799
Hopefully, Jackie doesn't take any any make any reels of this chat here, but you know, you never know.
00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:28.640
We might end up seeing this little of a blackmail situation, but that's all right.
00:31:28.960 --> 00:31:29.519
All right.
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:30.319
Bye.
00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:31.119
Bye.
00:31:31.279 --> 00:31:32.400
It's a kitty catch-up.
00:31:35.519 --> 00:31:36.400
It's a kitty catch up.
00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:04.240
Hey Val.
00:00:04.959 --> 00:00:07.040
Hey Jack, what are we doing?
00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:09.919
We're on the same time zone.
00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:13.679
We're on the same motherfucking time zone.
00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:15.839
Somebody asked me.
00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:21.280
Somebody asked me here what longitude and latitude Poland was on.
00:00:21.440 --> 00:00:23.519
And I was like, what the fuck are you asking me?
00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:24.480
I think it was my brother-in-law.
00:00:26.879 --> 00:00:27.199
Shut up.
00:00:27.440 --> 00:00:28.079
Shut up, yeah.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:29.359
But I was like, what?
00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:30.079
I don't know.
00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:31.920
No, nobody knows that.
00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:34.240
But I do know we're in the same same time zone.
00:00:34.560 --> 00:00:35.840
We're in the same time zone.
00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:36.479
We are.
00:00:36.640 --> 00:00:36.960
Yeah.
00:00:37.119 --> 00:00:37.679
Apologies.
00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:40.719
I feel like I still sound I my cold was much better.
00:00:40.880 --> 00:00:44.719
And then the kids convinced me to go down the slide at the pool and it did breathe.
00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:47.359
It did something to my the old ears.
00:00:47.679 --> 00:00:48.960
It didn't flush out.
00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:50.240
It didn't flush out.
00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:51.280
Oh my gosh.
00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:56.799
Mallory looks like a beautiful cold-ridden, plague-ridden Miss Cleo.
00:00:57.119 --> 00:00:58.399
I look like Great Gardens.
00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:03.039
I look like I am I do.
00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:06.719
I got home from the pool because I don't usually get my hair wet.
00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:09.200
And so I was like, oh, I gotta get all this chlorine out.
00:01:09.280 --> 00:01:13.120
And I did a I did a hair mask because I thought we were just doing an intro and an after.
00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:15.439
I didn't know we were gonna actually chat.
00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:16.480
So this is great.
00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:18.159
You know, turn those cameras on.
00:01:18.640 --> 00:01:19.200
We're beautiful.
00:01:19.359 --> 00:01:20.079
You are so beautiful.
00:01:20.239 --> 00:01:20.480
Beautiful.
00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:22.400
We're beautiful.
00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:26.480
Speaking of gray gardens, that is my husband and my dog right now.
00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:30.719
Because my daughter and I have been in America for about a week.
00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:37.280
And he is home with my dog, both of them just flitting about our apartment, talking to each other.
00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:38.159
Oh yeah.
00:01:38.319 --> 00:01:43.120
He has sent no fewer than like 30 memes to our group chat.
00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:44.719
I'm like, Poor Michael.
00:01:44.959 --> 00:01:46.959
So he's so bored.
00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:48.480
He's so lonely.
00:01:49.760 --> 00:01:51.359
He's like, come here, Harley.
00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:53.599
Look at this meme I just sent your mom.
00:01:54.079 --> 00:01:58.959
He just sent me five pictures of Harley in the burger place getting burgers.
00:01:59.120 --> 00:02:00.640
Like Harley's sitting here nice.
00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:01.920
Harley waiting for his burger.
00:02:02.079 --> 00:02:03.040
Harley having a bite.
00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:05.280
Harley Harley had his own burger.
00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:06.319
Is that fries?
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:09.120
He said he barely made weight on the way there.
00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:11.199
He did Harley make weight, but now he's there.
00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:12.000
So now we got to.
00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:13.439
Yeah, but he's got to come back.
00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:14.080
It's true.
00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:14.479
It's true.
00:02:14.639 --> 00:02:15.520
Knock on wood.
00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:16.000
Yeah.
00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:23.280
He said he made Harley, took all the pieces of his meal, and made Harley his own mini slider burger with a side of fries.
00:02:24.080 --> 00:02:26.000
I said, You've been on your own for too long already.
00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:28.639
Yeah, he's gonna be just losing.
00:02:30.479 --> 00:02:32.080
Although he did say he was like, you know what?
00:02:32.159 --> 00:02:36.080
Tomorrow I think I'm gonna clean out Eva's room and put some stuff in storage.
00:02:36.159 --> 00:02:40.879
I was like, that sounds he's so bored he's gonna do work around the house.
00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:43.039
He's gonna do deep organization.
00:02:43.120 --> 00:02:44.080
That's how boring he is.
00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:45.680
And I said scary.
00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:47.280
I said I support you.
00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:47.840
I don't know.
00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:49.280
I said, Jesus, take the wheel.
00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:50.879
Yeah, I guess.
00:02:51.599 --> 00:02:51.840
Yeah.
00:02:52.240 --> 00:02:55.680
I said, don't throw anything out, but just put it in the storage.
00:02:55.759 --> 00:02:56.080
Yeah.
00:02:56.240 --> 00:02:57.599
See if she brings it up.
00:02:57.680 --> 00:02:59.199
We're gonna do a three-month trial.
00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:01.919
If she doesn't bring it up, it's out of there.
00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:03.039
That's what I did.
00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:07.840
All the all the boxes of toys that were on our pod when we moved, they were on the pod for a month and a half.
00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:09.199
I said, fuck it, they're gone.
00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:09.520
Yep.
00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:10.560
They don't know anything about them.
00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:12.319
Nobody's asked a word about them.
00:03:13.199 --> 00:03:13.520
Nope.
00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:13.919
Nope.
00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:17.520
They're going to purgatory and then they're gonna be gone because we can't, we can't.
00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:18.960
We're we're out of square footage.
00:03:19.039 --> 00:03:20.000
We live in an apartment.
00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:21.039
Like, it's gotta go.
00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:27.759
I'm wearing my Americana crown, and then my job at CBS, which CBS, that place is fucking expensive.
00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:32.319
CBS that almost sent me into cardiac arrest.
00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:33.280
Oh, yeah.
00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:34.159
CBS a bitch.
00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:35.360
$300.
00:03:35.759 --> 00:03:36.960
$300 on this.
00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:39.840
How did you spend$300 at CVS?
00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:41.759
I bought more meth.
00:03:42.319 --> 00:03:43.360
I bought some meth.
00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:45.039
I bought some other pills.
00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:50.240
I don't know, some beauty products, this headband,$300 fucking dollars.
00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:51.599
American dollars.
00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:52.879
I was like, are those body?
00:03:53.840 --> 00:03:54.240
Yeah.
00:03:54.479 --> 00:03:56.400
This is gonna be hard when you come back.
00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:58.800
When you come back over yonder.
00:03:59.039 --> 00:04:00.639
Yeah, I was like, get me out of here.
00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:03.919
My mom now lives across the street from a Trader Joe's.
00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:08.319
So I'm I mean, I'm just just living my best life.
00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:09.599
Trader Joe's snacks.
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:11.599
I'm really amazing.
00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:13.599
Absolutely thriving.
00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:16.240
What kind of snacks you got?
00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:18.160
I put one in my mouth.
00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:18.879
I pulled a U.
00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:21.279
These are my fat snacks from Trader Joe's.
00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:22.639
They're called snacky clusters.
00:04:22.800 --> 00:04:23.839
Have you ever gotten these?
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:28.000
No, but you are I I swear to God, you you test this GLP one.
00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:29.759
You really do.
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:31.279
You put it through the ringer.
00:04:31.839 --> 00:04:33.279
I push it to the break.
00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:36.800
Your shot is like, please just give me a week off.
00:04:38.160 --> 00:04:39.279
Let me work.
00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:41.120
But listen how good these sound.
00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:42.079
Help you.
00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:44.000
Listen how good these sound.
00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:51.199
It's pot sea salt potato chips, corn chips, and mini pretzel nuggets all bundled up covered in chocolate.
00:04:51.519 --> 00:04:51.759
Wow.
00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:56.079
That is not your like period PMS dream.
00:04:56.399 --> 00:04:57.920
Sweet, salty, savory.
00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:01.040
I mean, let's see how good these GLP ones work.
00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:09.519
You might be Tracy Morganing these GLP ones.
00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:10.879
I don't know where I am.
00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:12.720
I don't know who I am.
00:05:13.839 --> 00:05:15.439
Hard milk mellow in my mouth.
00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:17.360
You gotta take that dos on up, sister.
00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:19.920
I have since our feet have touched the ground.
00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:23.199
I think I've eaten about half a cow of beef in this last week.
00:05:23.519 --> 00:05:25.279
So you've just been sweating and shitting.
00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:26.399
Sweating and shitting.
00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:27.360
Sweating and shitting.
00:05:27.519 --> 00:05:36.240
First I I was sweating and shitting before I got on our flight because we had a five hour layover in Switzerland, and my daughter and I were like, we're going for it.
00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:40.800
Took the train, went into Zurich, and just had a full fondue lunch.
00:05:40.959 --> 00:05:45.040
And it was I just what I can't, I don't I don't.
00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:48.959
I really I didn't think you're over 40.
00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:52.160
You can't just go ape shit on cheese anymore.
00:05:52.480 --> 00:05:53.040
You know?
00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:54.480
You're not a youth.
00:05:55.040 --> 00:05:56.319
You're not a youth anymore.
00:05:56.959 --> 00:05:57.600
I'm not.
00:05:57.839 --> 00:05:58.480
I'm not.
00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:04.079
My my bowels, my digestive system is not of the youths.
00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:10.639
I mean, remember that time we just went out and had like two glasses of wine and a plate of cheese, and I threw up all night.
00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:13.360
You know?
00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:14.480
You did the wrong.
00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:16.800
Cheese is not for four-year-olds.
00:06:16.959 --> 00:06:19.199
It's you know, there's an age limit to cheese.
00:06:19.519 --> 00:06:22.560
It's I paid dearly in the airport for that.
00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:25.279
As did everybody else in that airport.
00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:26.160
You know?
00:06:26.480 --> 00:06:29.519
You really you are America first, is what you are.
00:06:29.759 --> 00:06:33.519
You're like, I'm gonna get mine and I'm gonna blow this fucking bathroom to the sky.
00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:35.439
We're eight hours together, folks.
00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:36.639
Fuck my community.
00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:37.439
It's me.
00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:38.399
It's me.
00:06:38.879 --> 00:06:40.000
It's all about me.
00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:40.560
Yeah.
00:06:40.800 --> 00:06:42.480
I got a fondue shot.
00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:43.839
Yeah, and I'm good.
00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:44.399
Exactly.
00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:44.800
A fun.
00:06:45.199 --> 00:06:49.519
Oh, I thought you meant like a you replaced your Wigovie with a fondue shot.
00:06:49.839 --> 00:06:51.360
I mean I practically did.
00:06:51.439 --> 00:06:52.399
I pretty much did.
00:06:52.879 --> 00:06:53.279
I did.
00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:56.480
Injecting fondue right into your gut.
00:06:56.639 --> 00:06:58.000
Yeah, your gullet.
00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:02.560
I did not travel with my GLP ones because I was like, fuck it.
00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:05.279
So I am on the I'm on the uh fondue shot.
00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:06.560
I'm on the cheeseburger shop.
00:07:06.879 --> 00:07:07.439
I'm on stage.
00:07:07.680 --> 00:07:10.480
I'll bring you, I'll bring you an extra pen when I see you next weekend.
00:07:10.639 --> 00:07:11.759
Get your ass on track.
00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:13.439
Stab me when we get to New York.
00:07:13.680 --> 00:07:13.839
Yeah.
00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:20.879
I'm just gonna be like, you know, those in the movies where they just get you in the neck and then I like hold your body as you pass out.
00:07:25.759 --> 00:07:27.120
Just whisper in my ear.
00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:27.439
Yeah.
00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:32.000
This is for your fat bitch.
00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:33.920
Dumb fat bitch.
00:07:39.839 --> 00:07:40.639
Oh my god.
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:41.199
Amazing.
00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:41.759
I love it.
00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:42.319
I love it.
00:07:42.560 --> 00:07:42.879
I love it.
00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:43.680
It's so good.
00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:45.040
How was your fourth?
00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:46.879
Fourth was good.
00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:48.480
It was hot as shit.
00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:51.839
We were in the depths of the heat wave.
00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:55.519
It was 113, was the heat index.
00:07:55.839 --> 00:07:56.639
Jesus Christ.
00:07:56.800 --> 00:08:10.399
So we walked in the neighborhood parade that luckily was like less than a quarter of a mile and ended at the pool, and I was just like sweeping kids out of the way, sprinted to the pool, ripped all my shoes off, and just jumped in.
00:08:10.480 --> 00:08:13.360
The pool water was 89 degrees.
00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:17.199
So you're just saying you're just in like the the Hungarian bath bathhouse.
00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:17.600
Yeah.
00:08:18.079 --> 00:08:18.160
Yeah.
00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:20.480
I mean, it really wasn't any better to be in the water.
00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:21.839
And the pool was crowded.
00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:29.040
We stayed for a couple hours and then went home and just tried to get the kids to rest because they we really wanted to do fireworks.
00:08:29.199 --> 00:08:38.960
So, you know, on the fourth and on New Year's is when my my uh you know white trash text that really comes out and I do ape shit on the fireworks.
00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:39.360
Yeah.
00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:44.799
We went to a fireworks stand, I blacked out, I just started pointing$136 later.
00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:46.879
My husband's like, what did you just do?
00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:48.879
I'm like, trust me, it's gonna be good.
00:08:49.679 --> 00:08:50.480
Yeah, don't worry about it.
00:08:50.799 --> 00:08:52.960
Like, you mind your own business.
00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:56.559
Just get yourself a get yourself a folding chair.
00:08:56.879 --> 00:08:57.360
Exactly.
00:08:57.600 --> 00:08:59.279
Just watch, enjoy the show.
00:08:59.519 --> 00:09:00.000
Yeah.
00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:02.799
So we set off some fireworks.
00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:07.600
The neighbors down the street did a huge display, like into the air, like totally illegal, I'm sure.
00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:08.320
Beautiful.
00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:08.879
Even better.
00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:09.759
It was awesome.
00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:10.879
Kids loved it.
00:09:11.039 --> 00:09:12.799
They played with sparklers, you know.
00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:15.679
Eliza's like, Mama, you are a fireworks expert.
00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:16.960
I'm like, damn right.
00:09:18.399 --> 00:09:18.879
That's what we do.
00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:19.360
That's right.
00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:28.000
My brother in high school and college, he would work at a fireworks stand for like a week before each of the major holidays, and they would pay him in fireworks.
00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:32.000
And then we would just go nuts.
00:09:32.720 --> 00:09:33.600
The hut.
00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:35.120
That's just other things.
00:09:35.279 --> 00:09:35.759
Oh yeah.
00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:38.799
You're gonna pay me in power, pay me in explosives.
00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:42.559
Yeah, well, it was more of a you know, Hispanic accent than that.
00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:43.120
Oh, okay.
00:09:43.279 --> 00:09:44.240
But yeah, I understood.
00:09:44.399 --> 00:09:45.039
Yeah.
00:09:45.600 --> 00:09:47.279
They're like, You want these fireworks?
00:09:47.440 --> 00:09:47.759
SA.
00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:49.440
He's like, Yes, I do.
00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:51.440
Yeah.
00:09:51.679 --> 00:09:52.320
I love it.
00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:53.759
Yeah, it was it was great.
00:09:53.919 --> 00:09:55.840
How was your fourth in America?
00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:57.200
It was good, man.
00:09:57.360 --> 00:10:04.879
We were still dazed and confused, but we just dove right in, dirty jurors, went to a parade, we bought fire trucks.
00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:09.039
My daughter got to collect candy, talk to American kids.
00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:14.879
They had like it was uh so fucking hot because of course we're in the same longitude, latitude.
00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:18.799
And and they Oh look at you who knows longitude and latitude now.
00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:24.000
That would just assume you're somebody asked you about it one time and you're like let me tell you my coordinates.
00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:25.679
Let me tell you my coordinates.
00:10:25.919 --> 00:10:37.120
They sprayed like the kids, like the ground with like the fire hoses, like they set it up on the ladder so it just rained like it rained, yeah, and that was the most refreshing.
00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:40.159
I mean, I was just full in fully care.
00:10:40.559 --> 00:10:41.120
Totally, yeah.
00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:42.960
Yeah, that's rain on me.
00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:44.080
Yeah, it was fun.
00:10:44.159 --> 00:10:44.799
It was a lot of fun.
00:10:44.879 --> 00:10:47.600
I ate a lot of beef, I ate a lot of bagels.
00:10:47.919 --> 00:10:51.120
Oh god, a good New Jersey bagel.
00:10:51.360 --> 00:10:52.399
Just put it in my vein.
00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:54.240
I mean, it's just a food tour.
00:10:54.399 --> 00:10:57.519
I again I'm pushing the GLP ones to the absolute max.
00:10:57.679 --> 00:10:57.840
Right.
00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:00.320
And I've never got they've given up, you know.
00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:03.759
They've uh DLP ones have left the chat.
00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:06.000
You're on your own, bitch.
00:11:06.480 --> 00:11:08.000
Yeah, they're like, I I did what I could.
00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:09.039
I did what I could.
00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:10.399
Guys, we are in it.
00:11:10.559 --> 00:11:14.159
We are in ju Jupiter is in is in Uranus.
00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:14.960
Retrograde.
00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:21.200
We're in we're retrograding and it blasted off into Uranus.
00:11:21.519 --> 00:11:26.639
We had a strawberry moon blast off into Uranus.
00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:33.759
They they turned off the CERN, the the thing that spins the atoms, it's off for four years.
00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:36.480
So same time we went into Mercury retrograde.
00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:42.720
So I mean Jackie tells me we can't get political on this podcast, but how do we I'm trying to steer us away.
00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:43.440
Trying to.
00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:45.039
And you're steering us back.
00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:48.960
You're probably gonna cut all this, but probably gonna cut a lot.
00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:50.080
I'm sorry.
00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:51.600
This is outrageous.
00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:52.799
This is outrageous.
00:11:53.039 --> 00:11:54.240
Here's the thing I'm excited about.
00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:58.799
So they turned off the CERN, which I'm gonna look up exactly what the CERN is.
00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:00.320
Hold on, hold on.
00:12:00.559 --> 00:12:05.759
CERN, CERN, high CERN Hydron Collider.
00:12:06.480 --> 00:12:07.120
Oh gosh.
00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:07.759
Okay.
00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:13.519
It's the world's largest and highest energy particle about this particle accelerator.
00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.080
It was built by the Europeans, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:17.519
They're turning it off.
00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:19.440
CERN shuts down.
00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:20.559
Okay, hold on.
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:22.000
Please hold.
00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:23.200
Please hold.
00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:31.279
World's largest and most powerful Atom Smasher has entered a planned four-year shutdown that will upgrade it to its most capable form.
00:12:31.919 --> 00:12:37.440
Last time they turned this off, I want to say was 2019.
00:12:38.559 --> 00:12:38.720
Okay.
00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:40.159
Okay.
00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:42.320
We all know what happened after that.
00:12:42.720 --> 00:12:44.720
And so this thing is off for four years.
00:12:44.960 --> 00:12:55.360
So I am hopeful that this is gonna shift us back to the timeline where there's a fruit cornucopia on the fruit of the loom logo.
00:12:55.919 --> 00:13:00.080
Where it's Baron Steen Bears and not Baron Stein Bears.
00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:07.200
Where how many how many psychics are you following?
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:13.919
Where Shazam is a movie again with the guy who's a genie.
00:13:14.320 --> 00:13:14.799
Shaq.
00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:18.320
No, not Shaq.
00:13:19.039 --> 00:13:20.559
Oh no, what is this?
00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:22.559
2019 action comedy.
00:13:23.600 --> 00:13:24.320
Exactly.
00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:25.600
Exactly.
00:13:25.840 --> 00:13:26.480
Thank you.
00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:28.639
Shaquille O'Neal.
00:13:28.720 --> 00:13:29.919
Oh, it was Kazam.
00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:30.799
Kazam.
00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:32.720
The rapping jean, it was Kazam.
00:13:32.799 --> 00:13:33.039
Okay.
00:13:33.120 --> 00:13:34.720
It wasn't like it didn't exist.
00:13:34.960 --> 00:13:37.120
It was just called Kazam, not Shazam.
00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:39.600
Ah, well that's not really one of those things to me.
00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:40.639
What are those things called?
00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:43.039
It's called the Mandela effect.
00:13:43.679 --> 00:13:44.480
The Mandela effect.
00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:50.000
Okay, but the Fruit of the Loom one is legit, and the Barenstein Bears one really bothers me.
00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:53.519
Because it's stain, that's how it's spelled.
00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:55.600
Baronstein.
00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:57.039
But that's not how it's spelled.
00:13:57.120 --> 00:13:58.639
It's always Baronstein.
00:14:00.080 --> 00:14:00.399
Oh yeah.
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:02.960
You say it Barrenstein, but it is Barrenstein.
00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:03.600
What the hell?
00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:05.200
No, it's not Barrenstein.
00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:08.159
It's gonna go back to the spelled Barenstein.
00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:11.200
Right, in in the crummy timeline.
00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:14.879
We're gonna go back to the real timeline where it's Baronstein.
00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:17.039
That is my hope.
00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:19.200
And then fruit of the loom.
00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:20.320
Do you remember the Goring?
00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:22.480
It's not going back to a thing.
00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:26.080
It's going to a thing that never existed, but we all in our minds thought existed.
00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:27.519
No, because it did exist.
00:14:27.679 --> 00:14:29.039
Don't let them trick you, Mallory.
00:14:29.279 --> 00:14:35.440
It did exist, and then they changed it to mess with our minds so that they can tell us that things aren't true that have happened.
00:14:37.519 --> 00:14:38.320
Fruit of the loom.
00:14:38.720 --> 00:14:39.840
Fruit of the loom logo.
00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:41.679
Do you remember a cornucopia?
00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:43.120
Of course, yes.
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:43.759
No.
00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:45.679
They say it never existed.
00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:49.679
They say there was never a fruit of the loom cornucopia.
00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:53.360
Monopoly man wearing a monocle or not?
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:54.399
Yes.
00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:55.360
No.
00:14:57.279 --> 00:14:57.679
Mm-hmm.
00:14:58.159 --> 00:14:58.639
Mm-hmm.
00:14:59.039 --> 00:15:00.399
Here, this one's for Brandon.
00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:03.120
Brandon, what's the famous Mandela effect.
00:15:03.759 --> 00:15:06.799
What's the famous Darth Vader line?
00:15:09.039 --> 00:15:09.440
Nope.
00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:12.639
It's just no, I am your father.
00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:14.720
Yep.
00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:15.679
See?
00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:16.559
That's not right.
00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:18.879
Nelson Mandela?
00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:19.440
Yes.
00:15:20.879 --> 00:15:25.600
Because they said like Nelson Mandela died, but then he like didn't die for like 30 more years.
00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:26.799
Yeah.
00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:31.360
So it's like how there's do you think there's a cornucopia in the fruit of the loom logo?
00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:32.559
There ever was.
00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:33.279
Oh my God.
00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:33.679
I don't know.
00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:36.000
It's just I don't I I don't know.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:37.759
Because you'd have to define cornucopia.
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:40.559
I mean, that's a whole that's a lo that's a very loaded.
00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:42.159
Define cornucopia.
00:15:42.879 --> 00:15:44.559
I did not think the cornucopia.
00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:46.879
The lawyer has entered the chat.
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:49.519
We have to define cornucopia.
00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:53.200
Cornucopia is the a a cornucopia is the container.
00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:54.080
The container?
00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:59.200
But can you I'm used to the Thanksgiving cornucopia, which is mostly like squash and oh my god.
00:15:59.279 --> 00:16:04.080
It's just all get the lawyer out of here.
00:16:05.519 --> 00:16:07.519
So that's what I'm telling you.
00:16:07.919 --> 00:16:12.240
A decorative horn-shaped container overflowing with produce, flowers, or nuts.
00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:12.799
Oh, okay.
00:16:13.200 --> 00:16:14.080
Oh, I guess produce.
00:16:14.399 --> 00:16:18.159
Okay, you can put produce and it would work, but I don't think there's a corner cookie on it.
00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:18.559
All right.
00:16:18.639 --> 00:16:19.840
Well, is there?
00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:20.159
Yeah.
00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:22.000
No, there's not, but lots of people thought.
00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:24.000
Let me see if Brandon remembers this.
00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:30.000
Brandon, do you remember there being a Sinbad genie movie that existed?
00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:32.799
Do you remember Sinbad, the com Genie movie?
00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:34.559
What did what do you think that movie was called?
00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:36.080
What do you remember that movie being called?
00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:37.600
Oh, I d I don't remember the name.
00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:39.360
Shaq had Shaza, right?
00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:39.919
Or something.
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:40.720
Kazah.
00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:49.600
So Shaq had Kazam, but the rest of us remember a Sinbad Genie movie called like Shazam or something like that.
00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:52.000
But they are saying there was never.
00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:55.600
If you look up Sinbad, he is never in a genie movie.
00:16:55.679 --> 00:16:56.960
And that is untrue.
00:16:57.200 --> 00:16:59.600
I remember a Sinbad genie movie.
00:16:59.919 --> 00:17:01.679
Well, he used to wear those hammer pants.
00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:05.039
I think he used to wear genie pandemic when he did a standout.
00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:07.440
Our family was a big Sinbad standout.
00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:09.519
And then he fake died for a while, right?
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:11.440
I think he did fake die.
00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:13.680
Remember like it was reported that he died?
00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:14.480
But he really didn't?
00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:15.200
Interesting.
00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:16.000
Wow.
00:17:16.079 --> 00:17:17.200
No, I did not know about that.
00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:19.440
And that like it like rejuvenated his career.
00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:23.039
Maybe I'll try that.
00:17:24.640 --> 00:17:26.720
The Bernstein Bears really bothers me.
00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:29.039
Do you remember the Bernstein Bears, Brandon?
00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:30.319
Yeah.
00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:32.319
Is it Bernstein or Bernstein?
00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:33.279
I thought it was Stein.
00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:34.720
Yeah, nope, it's spelled Stain.
00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:36.240
Like S-T-A-I-Y.
00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:37.200
Yeah, Stein.
00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:38.160
Is it Bern?
00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:39.680
How is it spelled?
00:17:39.839 --> 00:17:40.319
B-E-R.
00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:43.279
Curious George, did he have a tail or not?
00:17:44.079 --> 00:17:44.559
Yeah.
00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:47.920
No, come on, he had a tail.
00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:48.880
Never had a tail?
00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:49.599
He did.
00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:50.319
Well.
00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:51.279
Never had a tail.
00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:55.839
I made the mistake of buying the original Curious George books for Eliza when she was little.
00:17:55.920 --> 00:18:00.559
And let me tell you, Curious George has a very difficult origin story.
00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:00.960
Alright?
00:18:01.119 --> 00:18:05.119
The man in the yellow hat basically kidnapped him from the jungle and got him smoking.
00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:14.240
Brandon, the the Monopoly Man, monocle or no monocle?
00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:17.359
No monocle.
00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:19.359
Telling you many whole thing.
00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:19.680
I know.
00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:20.319
Or is it Mr.
00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:20.480
Peanut?
00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:20.799
Right.
00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:21.759
That might be Mr.
00:18:21.839 --> 00:18:22.160
Peanut.
00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:24.799
It might be conflating Mr.
00:18:24.880 --> 00:18:25.839
Peanut and Mr.
00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:26.720
Peanut definitely has to be.
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:27.119
Is Mr.
00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:29.519
Peanut just the Monopoly Man in a peanut costume?
00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:32.880
I feel like there was a peanut one as well.
00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:34.799
Okay, this one I always remembered.
00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:35.839
Chick fil A.
00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:41.200
I always remembered it being spelled C-H-I-C-F-I-L-A.
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:43.519
Not with the chick.
00:18:43.759 --> 00:18:46.799
The way it's spelled now is chick, like a chick.
00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:49.039
With a C-H-I-C-K.
00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:49.920
Yeah.
00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:51.839
I feel like I remember it now having a K on it.
00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:53.599
Yeah, but I thought the same thing.
00:18:53.839 --> 00:18:54.240
Yeah.
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:55.200
Okay.
00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:56.079
Pikachu's.
00:18:58.000 --> 00:18:59.039
Do you remember Pikachu?
00:19:01.599 --> 00:19:02.799
Do you remember his tail?
00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:05.200
No, I don't remember anything.
00:19:05.599 --> 00:19:06.000
Oh, okay.
00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:09.039
I always remembered his tail having a black tip to it.
00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:11.119
But they say it does not.
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:12.240
Oh.
00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:13.200
Does it have any tip?
00:19:13.920 --> 00:19:14.079
Nope.
00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:14.640
Just the tip.
00:19:14.960 --> 00:19:15.759
Just all yellow.
00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:17.680
It's just the tip.
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:19.680
It's just the tipless.
00:19:21.440 --> 00:19:22.559
No tip at all.
00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:24.720
This is like European roll.
00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:25.759
No tip.
00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:28.319
Alright, those were those were some of my Oh no, this is a good one.
00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:29.039
This is the last one.
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:30.480
Okay.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:32.240
Fruit loops.
00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:35.440
How do you spell fruit loops?
00:19:36.160 --> 00:19:36.960
Oh serious.
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:38.000
Fruit.
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:39.519
F-R-O-O-T.
00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:41.839
I honestly have no idea.
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:45.680
Alright, well, I always remembered it fruit as F-R-U-I-T.
00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:47.519
What it's O-O-T?
00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:49.599
It's a it's fruit loops.
00:19:49.920 --> 00:19:50.319
I guess.
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:51.680
Yeah, I remember that one.
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:55.359
Mallory's a secret government spy, so it's fine.
00:19:57.680 --> 00:19:59.200
I'm just talking to the enemy.
00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:00.400
Talking to the enemy.
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:02.400
Tell all your psychics to suck it.
00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.000
Tell all the psychics to suck it.
00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:07.680
So I'm hoping that the CERN getting turned off is gonna shift some of these back.
00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:10.640
The main ones I really want back are Barenstein bears.
00:20:11.119 --> 00:20:11.440
Mm-mm.
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:11.839
Yeah.
00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:13.599
And the uh fruit of the loom bears.
00:20:13.839 --> 00:20:14.880
I want the cornucopia back.
00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:16.079
Those are my top two.
00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:17.920
Yeah.
00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:18.240
Yeah.
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:20.880
Once we define what cornucopia is.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:26.640
Brandon's gonna be a good one though.
00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:33.680
Oh, we forgot to update everybody on our latest travel plans.
00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:38.000
So we got how have we forgotten?
00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:41.920
We did, we we did narrowly escape the brothel, right?
00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:44.640
But then Jackie booked us somewhere else.
00:20:44.880 --> 00:20:46.880
So that was not a brothel in New York.
00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:49.279
My boss, well, okay, that's a low bar.
00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:52.559
My boss lives in New York City, and I'm like, is this a good location?
00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:54.160
She's like, it's the worst.
00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:55.920
It's in between the train station and the book.
00:20:57.039 --> 00:21:01.279
She's like, it's gonna be so loud, it's gonna be crowded, the reviews are terrible.
00:21:01.759 --> 00:21:03.680
So I was like, Jackie, I can't stay here.
00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:04.799
She's like, what are you talking about?
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:06.000
I'm like, I'm not doing it.
00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:06.640
I'm sorry.
00:21:06.720 --> 00:21:07.519
I I can't.
00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:09.920
So I found us another place and booked it.
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:15.599
And I could, well, before I found it and booked it, I called the place that Jackie booked and I said, I am Jacqueline.
00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:16.720
Please cancel.
00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:18.319
You stole my identity.
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:19.359
You stole my identity.
00:21:19.519 --> 00:21:20.400
You stole your identity.
00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:20.799
Right.
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:21.519
Canceled.
00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:24.319
And then I dent you, I canceled.
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:26.559
And he said, You canceled what?
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:29.119
I was like, canceled our hotel.
00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:31.440
Did you panic?
00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:32.240
Oh, I have to read.
00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:33.039
I'm gonna read it.
00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:34.799
We are toothless, not homeless.
00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:37.839
Homeless, not toothless.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.240
Toothless, not homeless.
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:44.480
She says, blah blah blah blah blah blah.
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:49.359
She sends me this whole thing about the what her boss said in the area and this and that.
00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:54.559
And I just send her the like Jim Carrey and Dumb and Dumb are like la la la la la, I can't hear you.
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:59.200
I was like, girl, it's non refundable, which when I booked it, it told me it was non refundable, but I guess that wasn't the truth.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.440
Well, hold on.
00:22:01.519 --> 00:22:05.680
We need to back up for a second because I feel like we forgot the most important part of the story, right?
00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:11.519
Which is that before we talk about going to New York, I say, Jackie, whatever you do, do not come anywhere near the World Cup.
00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:12.880
Make sure it's totally over.
00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:15.920
Not just in New York, but like that it's not happening at all, right?
00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:16.720
Like it's done.
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:17.440
Got you.
00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:18.160
Yeah, definitely.
00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:19.119
That's a great idea.
00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:20.240
What does she do?
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:25.680
She picks the weekend of the World Cup final, that is in New York.
00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:26.720
Okay?
00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:27.680
Unbeknownst.
00:22:28.079 --> 00:22:34.640
We can't figure out why all the prices are like triple at all of the hotels in all of New York.
00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:40.400
So I had originally wanted to stay in Midtown because I thought the girls would like it and all this stuff, but now I'm like, okay, well, it's World Cup.
00:22:40.480 --> 00:22:41.519
We can't stay in Midtown.
00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:43.119
That's going to be like insane.
00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:43.680
Why?
00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:44.559
It's New York.
00:22:44.640 --> 00:22:46.000
It can fit the people.
00:22:46.240 --> 00:22:47.680
It's not the entire world.
00:22:47.839 --> 00:22:52.960
It's the just the two teams in the New Jersey teams.
00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:54.799
The game's in New Jersey.
00:22:55.039 --> 00:22:55.839
It's not even in New York.
00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:58.720
See, listener, you see what I'm dealing with here?
00:22:59.200 --> 00:22:59.680
All right.
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:05.200
So she's not only ignores my advice to not come at all during the World Cup.
00:23:05.279 --> 00:23:10.160
She picks the biggest weekend in the city where the World Cup is.
00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:10.720
Okay.
00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:11.599
Literally.
00:23:12.079 --> 00:23:13.039
Unbeknownst to me.
00:23:13.119 --> 00:23:13.599
I did not know.
00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:15.359
You did not Google this.
00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:16.400
I did not Google it.
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:18.079
You did not Google.
00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:18.799
I didn't Google it.
00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:20.480
All it takes is a simple Google search.
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:21.279
I didn't Google it.
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:23.839
We only had one there.
00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:25.359
We would have avoided all this mess.
00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:27.519
We had one weekend that worked for the three of us.
00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:29.359
Said, okay, book it, Dano.
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:30.240
Let's do it.
00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:32.720
And then we were like, huh, why is this so expensive?
00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:39.440
We even said it in the last podcast, like, we cannot understand why this weekend, this one weekend in July was so expensive, didn't make any sense.
00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:43.599
And then Mallory text one time the US is hosting the World Cup.
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:47.519
Texted me in the dead of night and is like, you stupid bitch.
00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:49.599
It's the night of the World Cup final.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:51.200
And I was like, whoops.
00:23:51.839 --> 00:23:52.480
Whoopsie.
00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:54.400
Jacqueline Bassette.
00:23:56.960 --> 00:23:57.920
What have you done?
00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:00.000
Sweet Jesus, what have you done?
00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:01.519
I said, I didn't know.
00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:02.400
I didn't know.
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:03.599
But I'm excited.
00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:07.519
I I'm excited to be there for the the World Series, the whatever the fuck it's called.
00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:08.960
The World Series of Soccer.
00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:09.920
Series finale.
00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:10.720
The world series.
00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:16.799
The American song.
00:24:17.119 --> 00:24:18.400
It's going to be a blast.
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:19.440
I can't wait.
00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:21.279
It's Mom Donnie's New York, baby.
00:24:21.359 --> 00:24:22.720
It's going to be, it's going to be good.
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:23.680
It's going to be easy.
00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:25.200
That's your babe.
00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:29.920
We'll get into one of the those little uh vans driving around cooling people off, you know.
00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:30.559
Yeah.
00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:31.519
It's gonna be so fun.
00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:34.720
So Mallory's in full panic because it's the World Cup final.
00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:36.400
And I'm like, it's gonna be fine.
00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:37.279
It's gonna be fine.
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:39.279
In the busiest part of New York.
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:40.160
We're staying in the city.
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.480
Every area is busy next to the train station.
00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:43.599
No, it isn't.
00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:44.079
It is not.
00:24:44.240 --> 00:24:47.039
The village is not busy the way that Midtown is.
00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:48.160
Come on, you live there.
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:49.519
Don't act like you don't know this.
00:24:49.759 --> 00:24:51.920
So first I'm calming Mallory down about this.
00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:53.440
And then I get the panic text.
00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:56.400
It's like, my I talked to my boss, we can't stay there.
00:24:56.480 --> 00:24:57.920
I'm I'm canceling everything.
00:24:58.079 --> 00:24:59.440
And I was like, what are you doing?
00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:00.160
It is fine.
00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:01.279
And she was like, I'm gonna call.
00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:02.319
I'm like, call who?
00:25:02.720 --> 00:25:04.079
The hotel is fine.
00:25:04.319 --> 00:25:05.680
And she's sending me this hotel.
00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:08.480
I'm like, we cannot afford the hotel that you're sending me.
00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:09.759
And I'm like, just let it be.
00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:12.079
And she was like, there are a lot of options that we can afford.
00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:13.039
I was like, where?
00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:14.160
We looked everywhere.
00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:21.200
She was like, Outside actually, I will pay one nickel to stay in New York on World Cup weekend.
00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:22.880
And that's my final offer.
00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:26.720
I will pay prices, prices, right rules, one dollar.
00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:27.039
Right.
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:29.279
Right.
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:30.799
And that is it.
00:25:30.960 --> 00:25:32.240
I will not go over.
00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:34.400
And then she's like, I canceled it.
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:35.119
Don't kill me.
00:25:35.279 --> 00:25:37.680
And then an immediate voice call from me.
00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:38.960
She called me.
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:40.799
She's like, What the hell are you doing?
00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:42.160
Why are you canceling it?
00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:43.920
We're never going to find another hotel.
00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:45.039
She was like, I'm going to find out.
00:25:46.559 --> 00:25:48.480
I was talking to my boss as I'm doing all this.
00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:49.839
I'm like, oh, she's so mad at me.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:52.079
And she was like, Well, she had her chance to book something.
00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:53.680
She looked twice wrong.
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:54.960
I was like, you know what?
00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:55.920
That's a great point.
00:25:56.079 --> 00:25:56.880
Thank you.
00:25:57.119 --> 00:25:58.319
I think you said that too.
00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:00.559
You had your chance and you blew it.
00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:02.960
No, it's two chances.
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:04.640
You had two chances.
00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:06.319
You blew it.
00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:10.240
I said, I will not pay a penny over what we were paying before.
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:10.720
No.
00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:12.240
Which I think those words.
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:14.559
But yeah, it's fine.
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:14.880
Yeah.
00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:16.799
And then you're like, I got them.
00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:18.240
I got two hotel rooms.
00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:19.279
They're connecting.
00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:20.000
It's perfect.
00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:23.680
And then later on, she's like, the hotel rooms are actually not connecting.
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:25.039
They're not connecting.
00:26:25.359 --> 00:26:26.319
That's exactly what we did.
00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:27.599
It's fine.
00:26:27.839 --> 00:26:28.079
Fine.
00:26:28.319 --> 00:26:29.039
We're gonna figure it out.
00:26:29.279 --> 00:26:29.519
It's fine.
00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:29.920
It's fine.
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:31.680
I just had like 10 beds in a room.
00:26:31.839 --> 00:26:34.559
It's not Rikers Island, like the first option.
00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:36.960
The second option was fine.
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:37.759
We had our room.
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:39.759
It was not our cute little room with the bus bed.
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:40.160
It's fine.
00:26:40.400 --> 00:26:40.720
Connected.
00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:41.920
It would have been marvelous.
00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:42.880
It was not fine.
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:43.759
It would have been marvelous.
00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:44.720
It's not fine.
00:26:45.119 --> 00:26:48.400
So, you know, Goldilocks in the three hotel rooms.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:49.440
So this is it.
00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:50.000
Number three.
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:50.880
This is just right.
00:26:51.119 --> 00:26:52.079
This is just right.
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:52.640
The first one.
00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:53.440
You know what?
00:26:53.519 --> 00:26:55.759
It's a normal one that we've heard of.
00:26:55.920 --> 00:27:00.880
It's not the Bebo Boo, which was the first one, or the P Papoo, the second one.
00:27:01.039 --> 00:27:06.079
This one is just a normal, you know, I think it's a holiday in or something.
00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:08.319
Sheraton, something like that.
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:10.880
Oh you know, something we've heard of.
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:13.039
The first one was too illegal.
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:15.759
The second one was too white trash.
00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:17.519
The third one, just right.
00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:18.480
It's just right.
00:27:19.119 --> 00:27:19.759
It's just right.
00:27:19.920 --> 00:27:25.440
So Princess Mallory is happy and I love New York.
00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:26.000
I love it.
00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:27.279
Staying in New York.
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:32.240
I I just I always picture bed bugs crawling all over my body.
00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:35.920
Like I just, it's all look under the mattress so much before you lay in it.
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:47.680
I used to, for work, I used to stay a lot at one of those, I forget what it's called, but it's supposed to be like a club, so it's all like really dimly lit, and you can never like there's get lights on anything.
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:48.319
You know what I mean?
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:50.880
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:51.759
For the name of it.
00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:52.480
You know what I'm talking about.
00:27:52.799 --> 00:27:54.559
Like the W hotel anything.
00:27:54.799 --> 00:27:55.599
It's something like that.
00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:55.920
Yeah.
00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:59.519
It's a version of the W, but you can never get the lights all the way out.
00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:00.720
No, no, they don't want to.
00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:01.759
Yeah.
00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:02.319
Yeah.
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:05.839
You're doing your makeup in the dark, basically, because they're like, you don't need to see what's in here.
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:06.640
You don't need to, you know.
00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:07.039
Shh.
00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:07.680
Yeah.
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:08.559
You don't need to see.
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:09.680
Yeah, exactly.
00:28:09.839 --> 00:28:10.640
This isn't your business.
00:28:10.880 --> 00:28:12.400
No, no, it's not your business.
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:13.599
All right, Mallory.
00:28:13.759 --> 00:28:16.480
Well, I can't wait to see you next week with the girls.
00:28:17.039 --> 00:28:18.160
It's gonna be the best.
00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:26.400
Doing all the things the American Girl Experience, MS, MMs, Times Square.
00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:31.200
I'm gonna force you to go to the Krispy Kreme and get one hot off the line, and then you're gonna have to tell me.
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:31.920
Oh my god.
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:33.119
You gotta get one hot.
00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:34.960
It's happening.
00:28:35.200 --> 00:28:37.920
I'm gonna get you a donkey donut cold and stale.
00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:39.039
Just how God said it.
00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:39.920
Right, exactly.
00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:42.079
And I'll be like, what is this trash?
00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:44.559
I'm gonna stab you.
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:50.880
Me and Catherine are just gonna show up with like two shots each and just jam you up.
00:28:51.119 --> 00:28:55.519
You know, we're just gonna all the jam-ye ones you've been missing.
00:28:55.920 --> 00:29:01.279
I have been rolling around an ivy bag of Dunkin' iced coffee just direct to the main line.
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:02.559
Yeah, direct to the veins.
00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:03.599
So that feels good.
00:29:03.920 --> 00:29:04.720
I feel alive.
00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:05.519
That feels really good.
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:05.920
Yeah.
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:08.960
So you're just cheese and meat is all that's happening in there, right?
00:29:09.359 --> 00:29:10.559
Cheese and meat and iced coffee.
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:10.960
That's it.
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:11.279
Cool.
00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:12.960
That sounds like a healthy, yeah.
00:29:13.039 --> 00:29:15.599
You're like, what is the recipe for gut health?
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:16.400
Mm-hmm.
00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:18.960
Beef, cheese, and iced coffee.
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:20.079
And these are little better.
00:29:20.559 --> 00:29:22.000
Chocolate potato chips.
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:23.759
And snacky clusters.
00:29:24.079 --> 00:29:25.440
Trader Joe's clusters.
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:27.519
My little snacky clusters.
00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:30.319
God, I love Trader Joe's, man.
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:33.039
If they delivered, they would be unstoppable.
00:29:33.359 --> 00:29:34.799
They would be unstoppable.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:37.359
Trader Joe's is top tier.
00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:42.960
The only thing that's like the reason I don't get it more is just because like I'm not, I don't want to go fuck with it all.
00:29:43.119 --> 00:29:43.279
You know?
00:29:43.599 --> 00:29:43.680
No.
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:48.240
If they delivered honey done.
00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:49.920
It would be they would take over the world.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:51.279
There'd be no other grocery stores.
00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:52.079
Amazing.
00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:54.799
Well, uh hoping this episode's gonna get out today.
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:57.119
Again, sorry, summer break, you know.
00:29:57.599 --> 00:29:58.319
We're doing what we can.
00:29:58.640 --> 00:30:02.880
I mean, listen to me, look at me, you know, coming to you live.
00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:06.240
We're doing it on very gardens.
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:08.000
But you know, we're we're gonna get through the summer.
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:10.480
We're in the summer, we're gonna eat our summer.
00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:12.559
We're gonna eat all of it.
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:13.519
We're gonna eat it all.
00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:22.240
We're gonna eat it all, and we are going to record next week, hopefully, with my sister-in-law, who is weekend, next weekend with Catherine.
00:30:22.799 --> 00:30:23.440
And with Katherine.
00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:26.319
Yeah, maybe our daughters, who knows, you know?
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:27.359
Maybe, yeah.
00:30:27.519 --> 00:30:33.440
She lives in Newport, aesthetician to the stars, and she has a lot of Bravo Rhode Island.
00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:34.799
Oh my god, I can't.
00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:35.920
I have so many questions.
00:30:36.079 --> 00:30:37.599
I have so many questions.
00:30:37.839 --> 00:30:38.559
So many.
00:30:38.720 --> 00:30:39.519
I cannot wait.
00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:40.880
So that'll be a special app.
00:30:41.279 --> 00:30:43.359
And then we're gonna have Calvin Friend of the Pots.
00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:44.400
So we got stuff coming.
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:46.559
We got a lot of big things.
00:30:46.880 --> 00:30:48.160
And we still have KDP.
00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:48.799
She's ready.
00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:49.839
She's locked and loaded.
00:30:50.079 --> 00:30:50.880
She's locked and loaded.
00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:52.160
She's got questions for her.
00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:53.119
So it's gonna be.
00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:54.960
Starting with the star patches.
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:56.960
Starting with the star patches.
00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:02.880
We really need to bring her to the red table and make her answer for all we need to get to the bottom of that.
00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:04.480
We need to get to the bottom of that.
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:05.440
Absolutely.
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:07.119
Alright, follow us on the socials.
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:10.559
See all of Mallory's work on a Kiki catch up, our Instagram page.
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:11.759
She's really killing it.
00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:12.960
Really getting into the context.
00:31:13.279 --> 00:31:18.799
Hopefully, Jackie doesn't take any any make any reels of this chat here, but you know, you never know.
00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:28.640
We might end up seeing this little of a blackmail situation, but that's all right.
00:31:28.960 --> 00:31:29.519
All right.
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:30.319
Bye.
00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:31.119
Bye.
00:31:31.279 --> 00:31:32.400
It's a kitty catch-up.
00:31:35.519 --> 00:31:36.400
It's a kitty catch up.
