ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Other people can frankly drive us nuts. But they are who they are – and here's a thought, when we let them be, God sets us free. Great theory – but how does it actually work?
Over the last three weeks or so we've been talking about living the life God always intended. We have one chance at this life, that's it. It's not a dress rehearsal. And what's so incredibly sad for me is to run into people, so many people, who aren't enjoying their lives. That's not to say we don't go through some rough patches. Obviously, we do, but by and large, life's there for living, for making a difference, for touching other people. There's incredible satisfaction in that.
So this week, we're kind of having a poke around in that, looking at what it means to live a life of serving other people. Today, we're going to explore one way, a practical thing that we can do to serve other people. It's so simple, it's so profound it will touch people so deeply, it's amazing. Here it is, just let them be. Let them be who they are. Let them be what God made them to be. And it turns out when we let them be, God sets us free.
We're all different, have you noticed? We're good and bad at different things. We like different things. I like this colour, you like that colour. You like that taste, I like this taste. You like those clothes, I like these clothes. So different. And sometimes we get annoyed by those differences. Maybe you've heard me talk about this in the past but it's a big issue.
One of the biggest things that ruin our lives is other people being who they are. Their differences grate and annoy and drive us nuts. You know what I mean. But the fact is, we're all different and the fact is, we always have to live with those sorts of people around us. God makes sure of it. God never puts us in a group where everybody is just completely the same. Let's face it, that would be boring to start with, but God wants steel to sharpen steel. God wants us to learn to humble ourselves and to get on with other people.
I had a recent experience. I was involved in a really large piece of work, a big complex project. And I was the key man doing the job and there were other people around me, helping me. It was a huge job. It took a lot of months to do. And what I'm good at is communicating, telling a story. I think in concepts and stories not detail but the job involved an enormous amount of detail and what I really appreciated were the people around me. They quickly understood the things that I was good at and also the fact that I wasn't good at ferreting out and sorting through a lot of the detail. And so they served me and they helped me with the things that I wasn't good at.
They could have criticised me, they could have complained, they could have attacked me. Instead, they helped me and when that happens, it so validates who we are. It's wonderful to work in an organisation like I do and to experience those things. The Apostle Paul in Romans chapter 12, figures it out. He said (my paraphrase):
We're all different. We all have different motivations and abilities. Some people are good communicators, others are good teachers, and others are good encouragers, others are good leaders, others are good at caring for other people and serving. Others are real givers and yet others are great at showing mercy. (Romans 12: 6-8)
But the flip side is, we all have weaknesses. Communicators like me, want to talk over people. Encouragers want to encourage so much that they end up running other people's lives for them. People who are good at caring and showing mercy, well, sometimes are not the best time managers. And on top of that, we all have our own foibles; we all have our own 'Achilles heel', the things that we do wrong. So when we have people around who are different what does it look like to live the life God always intended?
How do you do that, when people's weaknesses disrupt our peace and joy that God wants us to have? You know, you have a great time with God in the morning, Yes! Hallelujah! And then you deal with someone in the middle of the day and they drive you nuts and that peace has gone and that joy is gone. If we want to live the life that God always intended, we have to let people be. And when we let people be, God sets us free.
I have enough of my own faults without your faults ruining my day. In fact, if I let your faults and your weaknesses ruin my day then I'm adding your faults to mine. And if I let the next person's weaknesses rub me the wrong way, I'm adding those to my load. And the next person after that, I'm adding those to my load. I've got enough of my own to carry around I don't need to carry yours with me too… and the next persons and the next persons and the next persons.
My time with God in the morning is a powerful way of changing who I am and living the day for Christ, to be a blessing, to live a life of joy and peace. And when I pick up your load and the next person's load, it ruins my peace.
I've made a decision. I'm going to let you be who you are, will you let me be who I am? When that weakness that rubs us the wrong way comes at us just let it be, just turn the other cheek and let it be. When we let people be, God sets us free. The moment we stop trying to change people, complain about them, whinge about them, get angry about them, get hurt because they offended us, our lives change.
Why is it that God makes such a big thing about forgiveness? Jesus, when He was teaching His Disciples the Lord's Prayer said,
Forgive us as we forgive others. (Matthew 6:12)
Wake up! Let those others be! Accept them just the way they are. And you know something, that's a form of service. When we do that it puts them before us and people sense that, they notice that. When I say, "You know something, it's okay for you to not be a really good time manager, even though that rubs me the wrong way, because you know something, I'm not very good pastorally but you are and we need both of us on this team." When I say that, I'm validating who you are or who the next person is.
Get a revelation! You and I have enough weaknesses and failures of our own without letting our next person's weaknesses and failures ruin our day. Come on! I know people who are smart and clever and intelligent and good at what they do but they spend their whole time whingeing and complaining about other people. They're touchy, they're sensitive. When you are touchy and sensitive, you don't have joy, you don't have peace. You're setting yourself up in the centre of the universe and saying, "Because this person doesn't fit with my view of who they should be, I'm going to get offended."
Well, just as well Jesus didn't do that on the cross with you and me. If I sound like maybe I'm getting into your face today, maybe that's because it's time to do that. Living the life that God always intended is about living our lives with other people and for other people just the way Jesus lived His life for you and for me. And as we lay down our lives for them, our rights for them, our self-righteousness for them, God changes us, God sets us free. Doing this stuff costs us. It costs us our lives but the prize is life itself.
Bottom line … if we want to live the life God always intended we need to accept people just the way they are – willingly, kindly, gently, patiently, day after day, week after week. When we let people be, God sets us free.
