Episode💯: Sue Enquist

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There's a lot of noise in the bleachers, and I reckon parents are like what do I do?
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I say, buy two beach chairs.
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And go park down the left field line and watch your child.
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That's number one.
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You have to reframe.
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It's not a gossip center and it's not about you.
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So reframe.
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I'm gonna get out of the noise.
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I want my daughter and my son to see me.
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I'm over here.
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And we always say, watch the movie.
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Come in quietly.
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Sit down.
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Keep your pie hole shut.
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Welcome back to a very special 100th episode of the Significant Coaching Podcast.
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I never thought we would get this far, but I wanna take a moment to thank all of our wonderful guests who have joined me, who have educated families and coaches across the country.
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It has been an awesome journey and I hope to keep it going, I'm your host, Matt Rogers.
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Today's guest, as you just heard in the opening clip.
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Is someone whose impact on sport and leadership is almost impossible to measure.
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She is more than just one of the greatest college coaches in the last 50 years.
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She has become a national treasure for the work she continues to do to make the athletes and coaches who participate in the sports we love mentally, physically, and emotionally healthier.
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I am speaking about the legendary coach Sue Enquist at UCLA, her alma Mater Sue helped guide the Bruins to five NCAA division one national championships and a sixth as a player becoming one of the most respected coaches in college athletics.
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But her story didn't end when she stepped away from the dugout.
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Today she's a sought after consultant, speaker, and culture builder, helping leaders and teams far beyond softball learn how to perform at their best.
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Most recently, she worked with the USA Women's Volleyball Team at the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris, where she focused on building a human centered culture, reinforcing mission and values, and helping the team capture the silver medal.
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At that level where the margins and physical talent are razor thin, Sue teaches that it's the discipline, the intentionality, and the culture that tip the balance.
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In this conversation, Sue shares how to create environments where athletes, coaches, and parents can thrive.
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Why culture is the most powerful competitive advantage a leader can build, and what coaches and families alike need to remember when the pressure is at its highest.
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And before we begin, I wanna remind you to visit coach matt rogers.com for more coaching, recruiting, and parenting tools and resources.
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And check out my brand new book, the Volleyball Recruits Journal, now available on amazon.com.
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Alright, here's my conversation with the incomparable Sue Enquist.
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Coach Enquist, thanks for being on.
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It's just an honor to talk to you.
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I've been a big fan for so long, and as you and I talked before, we recorded, we were colleagues for a while at NCSA.
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That's right.
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So I've been next collegiate sport athlete.
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Yep.
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Yes.
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I've been impressed with everything you've done.
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Obviously world class, career, hall of fame career in so many different ways.
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So that brings me to last summer where my wife and I are sitting on the couch and we're about to watch the Olympic volleyball team play.
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And I go to my wife, I go, Sue Enquist is on the bench.
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And later they did an interview with you and I learned that you were the advisor for the team.
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And I was like, oh my gosh, what a great decision.
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Because I'm, I've told you this.
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I'm a big believer that if you can coach and you can inspire and you can motivate and you can teach discipline, the technique is nothing.
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The technique, everybody can learn if you can do all those other things.
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So tell me how that came about.
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Yeah.
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My actual role was I was in as a consultant.
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It was my second quad.
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I came aboard through the pandemic in our march to Tokyo, and then the second quad was Paris last year.
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I, my role was as a consultant was really trying to frame up individual mastery, but our true focus was around team culture because at that level and your viewers know this, when you get to the Olympics, the margins are so small around physical talent that you have to be dialed in everything.
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And the coaches at the time were interested in, and the players were interested in how can we go ahead and dial that in as well.
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And so during the pandemic, I was doing an event for USA, volleyball on leadership.
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Pandemic hit everybody.
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Shut down.
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It went to Zoom just by happenstance.
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I'm on the Zoom the same time as the captain of USA volleyball.
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She had no idea who I was.
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She goes to Kar Kiri, who's the head coach, and says there was some random lady, I, some random lady was on there.
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Maybe she could talk to our team.
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Kch, who is in mastery, who is a such a professional, right?
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And a Bruin, right?
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And, but I did not know Kch.
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A lot of people don't know that.
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Anyway, long story short, worked out, came in, built some scaffolding around their mission, around their values, and built a culture that was really human centered.
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And, to be honest with you, in my, I've been in sport over 50 years.
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I'm 67 years old.
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I've been in sport formally as a professional for over 50 years.
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Outside of the UCLA brewing bubble, I have never been associated with a group of professionals and professional players like I have with USA volleyball.
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If you're a mother or a father out there and you're not real sure if your daughter should go into lacrosse or volleyball or basketball or volleyball or tennis or volleyball, I'm saying go into volleyball.
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But you're gonna notice I didn't say softball or volleyball'cause everybody needs to know where my heart is.
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But long story short my job was to really just keep our culture dialed, which we're not naturally wired to make it about the other person.
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And so it takes real intention, real discipline.
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And the women of USA volleyball are unbelievable.
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I say this often, if I could put them in the duplication machine, yeah.
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This world would be a lot better place.
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Special human beings.
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Yeah.
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And I just had you'll appreciate this.
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I just had Olivia Foley, who's the division three national volleyball player of the year on the podcast, and we were talking about they just won three straight national championships at Junior.
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And we talked about that mentality and the, they just, sometimes they just played with anger, not towards anybody, but just, we're exhausted.
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We've, we're playing more games than everybody.
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We've, we're winning more sets than everybody and everybody's given us our A game.
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And you had that at UCLA and you were part of that with the Olympic team.
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Where do you think that begins?
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Where does that begin?
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Where we get kids to understand?
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W where their body and their mind can go to be great.
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Yeah.
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It's such a big question to unpack.
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I think the first thing that people need to understand is performance doesn't matter.
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Sport or spelling, bees or academics performance is really about this idea of what, what's happening mentally and then being dialed physically, right?
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It doesn't even matter spelling bee.
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You've gotta get your body regulated.
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And when you look at our high performers, the thing that parents and athletes need to understand is it is a very personal journey for every high performer and we overuse high performance a lot.
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We now know, science now tells us that it's actually a fallacy.
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That less than 5% of the time you are in your peak performance operating and dialed mentally and physically.
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Wow.
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The ones that separate themselves are the ones that know how to navigate all the different emotional levels that you go through, and mastery around failure recovery.
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So what we now know, whether it's men or women, doesn't matter, team or individual sport, what separates them is they can move through everything with incredible efficiency to be locked in the moment, be where your feet are and give a hundred percent of what you have.
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Because this generation now has to deal with focus challenges and they have to deal with injuries.
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Injuries.
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I say this often, injuries is now a standard.
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Yeah.
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It is a part of a conversation with every coach that's dealing with somebody that's deal dealing with high performance or just competition in general.
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And so if we can dial these things in and look at your body and your mind as an F1 car.
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You gotta set of dials and you gotta be able to know when to tweak each one of them throughout your pre in and post competition.
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And those that have got that dialed end up having the best opportunity to be their best.
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And more importantly, they have joy.
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They know how to have FUN, it's like the new F word.
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We know how to do that.
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And that is a skill that involves rigor.
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When I say rigor, a disciplined attention to detail takes rigor to create the conditions to have.
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JOY.
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What role do the parents play in all that?
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Huh?
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Oh, such a I'm just gonna throw loaded general questions at you that are so hard to answer.
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Yeah let's dive, I'll put some context in this.
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Let's get off the freeway of high performance and talk about right.
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First of all, to every mom and dad out there that has a son or daughter of or non-binary children that are navigating high performance academics, athletics, sports, whatever it is I see you how hard this is because there is no standard curriculum around sport performance.
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There is no standard pathway that parents can jump on and follow with assurance that it's vetted and verified information about the biology of the body, about the physiology of the body, about their mental performance and how the mind works, not even getting into the technical and tactical and failure recovery standards that you need in each one of these sports.
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So to the parents, I see you in how you have to try to build out a dial for your son or daughter that allows them to be navigating all of these things throughout their life.
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But this is what I know to be true.
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Disclaimer, I have no children.
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Disclaimer, I have no children.
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But I watched Parenting of Performing Children come across my doorstep for 27 years at UCLI, and this is what I know to be true to the father.
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You set self-efficacy, and you'll notice I don't say confidence.
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Confidence gets overused.
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It's too high of a bar.
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Gen A, gen Z, they don't totally relate to it'cause we romanticized it.
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It makes it sound like I am gonna be the champion.
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So no one's gonna say, I am confident.
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Confidence just means trust in the moment, right?
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Dad sets self-efficacy.
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Let's just believe in ourself in this moment.
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Dad can set that self-efficacy by putting out the conditions where that child succeeds and fails on their own.
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And the father is the guide rail there?
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No, he's not carrying her.
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No, he's not coaching her in row three ever.
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No.
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Shut your pie hole in the recruiting office.
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Visit.
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Shut your pie hole.
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Let the scholar athlete do all the talking to the mother.
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I see you.
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You are the bus driver, the nurse, the big sister, the psychologist, the cook.
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You are all of it.
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I see you.
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Thank you for all the lonely work.
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But this is what she doesn't need.
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She doesn't need 17 texts every day from you because you are her best friend.
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A teenager does not need a mother As a best friend, you're stunting her own young womanhood.
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To be an independent thinker, to be able to tackle problems.
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'cause her default setting is, I'm gonna text mom, I'm gonna text mom.
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So we ask questions in the recruiting process that is gonna tell me about their critical thinking skills.
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'cause you learn critical thinking skills.
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When I say critical thinking, I'm talking about thinking.
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Meaning do I as a young, soon to be young adult 18, going to college, am I aware about the thinking that is needed in each part of my day?
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We call it thinking about thinking.
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And there are three thinking models that you have to have.
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My thinking model about me, it's all about me.
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It's just me.
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You get to be me.
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When your head hits the pillow and you wake up in the morning, boom, you're done.
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You've got your eight hours of be me, the second model or what we're calling, thinking about, thinking of.
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Now I'm in team mode.
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What does my family need?
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What does my classmate need?
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What does my teammate need?
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And that's the majority of your day.
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And then last is community.
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Who am I serving?
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Whose shoulders did I stand on and how am I showing my gratitude every single day?
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So for us, we literally say your individual lens, your team lens and your community lens.
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Thinking about thinking, moms, we need you to help us in this area.
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So when she comes to the coach can sit there and ask really challenging questions and the child doesn't say this I what?
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The minute I see that, yep.
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It's a red flag.
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'cause mom and dad, I've got 20 shortstops that have an open ba, a backhand that can throw a rope to first base.
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I have 20.
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So someone that can't articulate and doesn't have clarity around their performance skills and their relationship skills, you are gonna go drop down on that list.
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And so that's critically important in the interview process to be able to look me in the eye, tell me what you are, tell me what you're not, and give me examples about how you master failure recovery.
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Yeah.
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How do we teach parents to focus on those things?
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I think parents I wish that we could get parents to re, we want, if we want parents, if we want parents to be at the same bar that we're expecting our scholar athletes to be at we have to put them through a learning ecosystem.
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Who is teaching that?
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We say, I hear this often, like there's no books on parenting.
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Yes, there is.
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Yeah.
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There's hundreds too many.
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This idea about what does a parent of a performing child look like?
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Your job is to create the conditions for them to succeed and fail on their own, and then be the leveler in between to be their engineer belief.
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In other words, you are gonna create the conditions.
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You're gonna create the questions for that athlete to answer, I failed today.
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I have a better tomorrow.
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Coming and projecting optimism.
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Projecting optimism is, I believe the strongest, most important skill a parent can have.
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Hey, you know what, Susie?
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Yeah.
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You went, oh, for four today.
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It was painful to watch.
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You're not a failure.
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You failed.
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Yeah.
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Tell me what we're gonna do tonight, tomorrow morning before we go back to the park.
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Non-emotional.
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Hell yeah.
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Look at thumbs up guys.
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Yes, we're celebrating people.
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We're celebrating.
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We're celebrating 1% better every day.
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If we can get our parents to actually walk through these little step-by-step moments in between the child's performance environments to be the engineer belief, you're not supposed to be the hero you're supposed to be projecting.
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It's gonna be a better tomorrow if we do A, B, C, D, and then that falls on the athlete through their effort and their attitude.
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The only two things they can control in life.
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I say it often, you can only control two things.
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Your effort give a hundred percent what you have in your attitude.
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Whether I'm starting.
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Or I'm literally in the dugout as a game changer.
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We call'em game changers on USA volleyball, we call them game changers, right?
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It's a super important role.
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Parents need to be a part of that, be on a learning pathway as she continues, or he continues to go up.
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That up the food chain of serious competitive sports.
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Sue, I know you, you understand this, but I find it, there's so many parents that don't wanna read the book.
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They listen to this conversation, they go, I wanna do this.
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But then they get overwhelmed and they stop, or they revert back to who they're comfortable being.
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Where does executive function skills.
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Come into play here to help the parent have some simple things that they know, okay, this is what I want to count my, I want to, I wanna make sure I'm doing for every game.
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And those executive function skills for that kid that maybe has, that just can't grasp all of this that we're talking about and just needs those two or three things.
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Remember, okay, this is how I'm gonna prepare.
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This is what I'm gonna do during competition.
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This is what I'm gonna do after.
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How, where does all that work?
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Into this?
00:17:51.600 --> 00:18:03.650
For, let me first I'm really interested in tackling, having conversations with the parents because if the number one thing there, you have to shift this thinking around she's just playing a sport.
00:18:04.040 --> 00:18:08.721
Because what happens once they shift a travel ball, they're now in this engine.
00:18:08.721 --> 00:18:10.070
Yeah, they're in this dialogue.
00:18:10.070 --> 00:18:13.880
They're in this language that they can't get out of.
00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:18.350
So the first thing is just understand the minute you sit in the bleachers, you're in the noise zone.
00:18:19.130 --> 00:18:23.840
There's a lot of noise in the bleachers, and I reckon parents are like what do I do?
00:18:23.840 --> 00:18:25.550
I say, buy two beach chairs.
00:18:25.610 --> 00:18:31.670
It's worth the$75 to buy two beach chairs in Southern California.
00:18:31.670 --> 00:18:35.090
It's probably about$125 for two good beach chairs, right?
00:18:35.090 --> 00:18:39.140
And go park down the left field line and watch your child.
00:18:39.140 --> 00:18:39.711
That's number one.
00:18:39.711 --> 00:18:41.000
You have to reframe.
00:18:41.570 --> 00:18:43.730
It's not a gossip center and it's not about you.
00:18:43.730 --> 00:18:44.540
So reframe.
00:18:44.570 --> 00:18:45.950
I'm gonna get out of the noise.
00:18:46.340 --> 00:18:48.230
I want my daughter and my son to see me.
00:18:48.440 --> 00:18:49.550
I'm over here.
00:18:49.940 --> 00:18:51.680
And we always say, watch the movie.
00:18:51.860 --> 00:18:52.940
Come in quietly.
00:18:52.971 --> 00:18:53.750
Sit down.
00:18:53.840 --> 00:18:55.160
Keep your pie hole shut.
00:18:55.221 --> 00:18:57.711
Because now we know all the data that we're getting.
00:18:58.310 --> 00:19:01.430
They're feeling pressure because parents are being overly positive.
00:19:01.430 --> 00:19:01.971
You're all right.
00:19:01.971 --> 00:19:06.010
You've got this you know what the kids tell us from eight to 18.
00:19:06.490 --> 00:19:08.770
I wish it could just be quiet.
00:19:10.180 --> 00:19:11.020
So that's number one.
00:19:11.020 --> 00:19:12.910
Reframe where you physically sit.
00:19:12.940 --> 00:19:15.100
That's a marker that it's not about me.
00:19:15.250 --> 00:19:16.030
Number two.
00:19:17.185 --> 00:19:22.135
Don't talk to your child after the game about the game unless they want to.
00:19:23.215 --> 00:19:24.205
So that's the number two.
00:19:24.205 --> 00:19:26.365
You gotta be in your executive functioning brain.
00:19:26.575 --> 00:19:27.895
Once again, it's not about me.
00:19:28.105 --> 00:19:29.395
I know your D Dad.
00:19:30.265 --> 00:19:30.895
I see you.
00:19:31.555 --> 00:19:36.025
I know you wanna know about the fourth inning was the runner on second there was one out and the count was two and two.
00:19:36.175 --> 00:19:38.365
And you wanna know why she didn't swing at that curve ball?
00:19:38.425 --> 00:19:39.415
And that's her pitch.
00:19:39.475 --> 00:19:40.735
I know you wanna know that.
00:19:41.305 --> 00:19:42.955
And I just say, just remember 10 and two.
00:19:42.955 --> 00:19:43.525
10 and two.
00:19:43.705 --> 00:19:48.115
Get in the car, hands on the 10 and two and just drive home.
00:19:48.415 --> 00:19:50.846
If they wanna talk about it, let them talk about it.
00:19:50.846 --> 00:19:53.575
You may look back there, you probably see the part of their head.
00:19:53.725 --> 00:19:55.465
'cause their head's down and they're already in their phone.
00:19:55.580 --> 00:19:55.800
Yep.
00:19:56.275 --> 00:19:56.545
Yep.
00:19:56.635 --> 00:19:59.965
Let'em, if they wanna talk about it, let'em talk to you.
00:19:59.965 --> 00:20:01.945
That's another reframe.
00:20:02.155 --> 00:20:14.035
The third reframe is parents are looking at the path to college and the recruiting process as some sort of party that they're gonna get invited to.
00:20:14.950 --> 00:20:15.850
And I and you.
00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:16.930
Can you tell I'm retired?
00:20:16.961 --> 00:20:19.840
'cause I could never talk like this if I was a full-time coach.
00:20:20.050 --> 00:20:21.190
Coaches can't talk like this.
00:20:21.221 --> 00:20:22.090
'cause they may be.
00:20:22.510 --> 00:20:22.930
I may.
00:20:22.961 --> 00:20:25.420
I'm gonna turn off 60% of the people that are listening.
00:20:25.420 --> 00:20:26.170
I'm gonna turn off.
00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:27.850
They're gonna go screw her.
00:20:27.910 --> 00:20:32.920
I'm gonna, I'm gonna speak the truth of what coaches can't talk about.
00:20:34.090 --> 00:20:41.530
Coaches are sick and tired of parents thinking it's the coach's job to find them.
00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:44.020
The half a million of them.
00:20:44.620 --> 00:20:44.920
Yeah.
00:20:45.790 --> 00:20:52.420
Parents stop waiting to be invited to the college party and look at the path to college.
00:20:52.630 --> 00:20:56.410
Like you look at your health insurance, your life insurance, and your car insurance.
00:20:56.590 --> 00:20:57.310
Oh man.
00:20:57.310 --> 00:20:58.125
We spent a lot of time.
00:20:58.915 --> 00:21:01.975
Comparing, fitting up, find the match.
00:21:02.096 --> 00:21:13.675
But when it comes to travel ball, we drop Susie off to Chuck in a truck and we don't even look at what kind of background they have in their recruiting clinics.
00:21:13.675 --> 00:21:14.485
They're putting on.
00:21:14.635 --> 00:21:19.675
We don't look at their science background if they're teaching mechanics, that's tough.
00:21:20.010 --> 00:21:27.275
As a college coach, knowing these parents come into an environment that isn't certified, there aren't standards.
00:21:27.365 --> 00:21:29.825
And on the flip side, I know there are club coaches.
00:21:29.825 --> 00:21:31.205
Club coaches, I see you out there.
00:21:31.385 --> 00:21:33.035
So many of the club coaches are doing it.
00:21:33.086 --> 00:21:42.805
If you are a club coach out there that is a volunteer, you're like, dude, I'm a banker Monday through Friday and I do travel ball on the weekend.
00:21:43.975 --> 00:21:45.985
Thank you so much, sir.
00:21:46.045 --> 00:21:47.125
And ma'am, thank you.
00:21:47.455 --> 00:21:53.695
Yeah, I'm not talking about the volunteer coach, I'm talking about those coaches that are doing this full time.
00:21:54.461 --> 00:22:04.570
If you're gonna talk about mechanics, you better have some certification around OnBase U or somebody that's doing the science behind the mechanics of movement.
00:22:04.750 --> 00:22:12.070
If you're gonna be talking about what mental toughness is, you better be using people that are vetted and verified in the industry.
00:22:12.310 --> 00:22:25.450
If you're coming across as a full-time travel ball coach and I say this the same thing on the college side, that we're now at a point where softball is a business and we have standards that we should uphold, even though nobody is holding you accountable to it.
00:22:25.721 --> 00:22:27.221
Once again, I'm gonna say it three times.
00:22:27.450 --> 00:22:28.320
Volunteer coach.
00:22:28.590 --> 00:22:29.550
I'm not talking about you.
00:22:30.270 --> 00:22:32.520
I wish you could, but I understand your job.
00:22:32.760 --> 00:22:37.560
You could be a banker or a baker and you're just putting in your four hours on Saturday.
00:22:37.560 --> 00:22:38.910
I appreciate you and I see you.
00:22:41.400 --> 00:22:43.230
I've been in so many interviews.
00:22:43.230 --> 00:22:45.660
I've been interviewing coaches and hiring coaches.
00:22:45.660 --> 00:22:48.030
I've been gone through interviews to be a head coach.
00:22:49.035 --> 00:22:50.265
No one's ever asked me this stuff.
00:22:50.475 --> 00:22:54.465
No one's ever asked me about, I just talked to a university president.
00:22:54.465 --> 00:23:00.395
He goes, Matt, every time a coach comes in here that we're interviewing I point'em to the whiteboard and say, tell me what your culture's gonna look like.
00:23:00.515 --> 00:23:01.925
Tell me what you're gonna be known about.
00:23:02.495 --> 00:23:07.086
Tell me why these kids are going to be healthy and successful, find joy.
00:23:07.355 --> 00:23:08.315
They're gonna be disciplined.
00:23:08.315 --> 00:23:09.515
They're gonna leave here better people.
00:23:10.565 --> 00:23:16.820
If it, if the ads and the presidents aren't asking those questions what are we expecting from what we're getting?
00:23:17.280 --> 00:23:21.880
Even, and I know this is provocative and people roll their eyes when I say this and I do.
00:23:21.910 --> 00:23:22.961
I own my bias.
00:23:23.471 --> 00:23:27.160
I'm a college coach, so I have more empathy for the college coach.
00:23:27.190 --> 00:23:29.590
'cause I know today what the college coach is going through.
00:23:29.590 --> 00:23:30.461
I'm a consultant.
00:23:30.490 --> 00:23:32.560
I work with college coaches in all sports.
00:23:33.625 --> 00:23:34.645
It is.
00:23:34.645 --> 00:23:39.925
We are in any, I've been only in one other renaissance in my career, my 50 years.
00:23:39.925 --> 00:23:41.515
This is only the second Renaissance.
00:23:41.755 --> 00:23:50.135
The first renaissance was when a IAW association of Intercollegiate athletics for women transferred into the NCAA two A.
00:23:50.205 --> 00:23:53.895
It was a clown car.
00:23:54.255 --> 00:23:54.555
Yeah.
00:23:56.596 --> 00:23:58.485
Doesn't it feel like a clown car right now?
00:23:58.846 --> 00:23:58.935
Yeah.
00:23:58.935 --> 00:23:59.895
One day you're an amateur.
00:23:59.895 --> 00:24:02.265
The next day you've got NIL for a million dollars.
00:24:02.895 --> 00:24:08.535
And if any parent could be behind the curtain of how a coach is trying to navigate.
00:24:09.075 --> 00:24:10.425
This massive shift.
00:24:10.695 --> 00:24:15.346
Have empathy and parents take charge of your recruiting journey.
00:24:15.525 --> 00:24:17.655
It's not a party where you're waiting for an invite.
00:24:17.655 --> 00:24:19.785
Don't wait for the phone to ring.
00:24:19.965 --> 00:24:23.475
There are too many of you and not enough coaches.
00:24:23.655 --> 00:24:24.795
Do the math.
00:24:24.885 --> 00:24:25.995
Use the technology.
00:24:25.995 --> 00:24:30.315
We have recruit education services out there that can do the technology for you.
00:24:30.525 --> 00:24:34.545
You can get free services and not pay a dime for recruiting service.
00:24:34.755 --> 00:24:36.105
We start doing that.
00:24:36.195 --> 00:25:13.635
I think the parents are gonna become more educated and understand their role in this whole process.
00:25:13.665 --> 00:25:19.205
'cause right now, Matt, right now what parent does they get in the bleachers, they meet Mr.
00:25:19.205 --> 00:25:19.700
And Mrs.
00:25:19.700 --> 00:25:22.445
Jones, their daughter is three years ahead.
00:25:22.775 --> 00:25:24.545
So they become the authority.
00:25:25.505 --> 00:25:31.115
They everything they're saying, it's oh, I'm gonna do that because look at, she already got a verbal to Northwestern.
00:25:31.115 --> 00:25:33.425
I'm gonna, I'm gonna go there on that path.
00:25:34.025 --> 00:25:39.185
Instead of saying every child has their own path and you've gotta do the matching.
00:25:39.530 --> 00:25:46.040
Before you start doing the cold calling and the cold emailing, go ahead and email the 1400 colleges.
00:25:46.370 --> 00:25:47.120
Good luck with that.
00:25:50.090 --> 00:25:50.870
Yeah I'm with you.
00:25:51.690 --> 00:25:54.570
And that's why I do what I do is, it's all about the kid.
00:25:54.570 --> 00:25:58.200
First, you can't worry about the colleges, you can't worry about divisions.
00:25:58.200 --> 00:26:05.820
You have to worry about who your child is because if they don't know what their priorities are, they don't know what brings them joy and what makes them happy and what makes them healthy.
00:26:06.570 --> 00:26:13.285
H how do you even know what type of college to look for, what type of coach they need and what kind of communication they need to be prepared for.
00:26:13.335 --> 00:26:21.325
And Matt, one of the things just to be relevant because it is such a growing thing where this renaissance and remember every renaissance if history Yeah.
00:26:21.596 --> 00:26:24.685
They're always, there's always a messy front end.
00:26:24.745 --> 00:26:29.915
We're in the front end of a Renaissance we'll Recorrect, we'll get it back.
00:26:30.460 --> 00:26:32.680
To, to making more sense.
00:26:32.710 --> 00:26:34.450
It will never be the way it was.
00:26:34.450 --> 00:26:34.510
Yeah.
00:26:34.840 --> 00:26:43.960
But what I want parents to understand is what I see when I am consulting, and this is at all levels, I'm at all levels, but it's a similar principle.
00:26:45.130 --> 00:26:53.320
You have to decide when you make a decision, am I gonna be a customer or am I gonna be a student athlete for four years and get a degree from there?
00:26:54.170 --> 00:26:59.240
You have to have an honest conversation with your child around that.
00:26:59.540 --> 00:27:12.710
That if I make a commitment to go to Arizona, but deep down inside, if I know another school, if Oklahoma comes calling, am I going to Oklahoma?
00:27:12.890 --> 00:27:15.800
Then I'm a customer at Arizona.
00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:16.580
I'm a customer.
00:27:17.210 --> 00:27:19.400
I'm just shopping every year.
00:27:19.760 --> 00:27:20.600
This is the hard part.
00:27:20.600 --> 00:27:22.490
People don't like to hear me say.
00:27:23.165 --> 00:27:24.185
College coaches hate it.
00:27:24.185 --> 00:27:24.875
When I say this.
00:27:25.385 --> 00:27:30.455
The more college coaches that have it broken down like this, they're crushing the NIL.
00:27:30.455 --> 00:27:31.925
They're crushing the transfer portal.
00:27:32.045 --> 00:27:33.515
They look at the transfer portal.
00:27:33.725 --> 00:27:35.105
It is an asset.
00:27:35.315 --> 00:27:41.975
It is an accessory for me, but they know how many people on their team are traditional student athletes.
00:27:41.975 --> 00:27:44.675
They want the degree and how many are customers.
00:27:44.735 --> 00:27:53.255
And when you learn as a college coach to start using that vernacular in your recruiting process, we can now open the door and not make it this big secret.
00:27:53.705 --> 00:27:59.525
I'm not saying they're gonna do what they say they're gonna do because life changes, decisions change.
00:28:00.425 --> 00:28:07.745
The reason this is important is this traditional student is thinking every other student is a traditional student.
00:28:08.045 --> 00:28:10.985
And our default mindset is everybody's gonna be here for four years.
00:28:10.985 --> 00:28:11.435
Graduate.
00:28:11.675 --> 00:28:14.075
No that world's gone guys.
00:28:14.075 --> 00:28:14.525
It's gone.
00:28:15.530 --> 00:28:27.530
Let's, in our cultural scaffolding framework around how we operate individually and as a team, let's have conversations around this and let's get it out of the closet.
00:28:27.890 --> 00:28:34.700
I think transfer portal feels very similar to when we first started talking about mental health.
00:28:34.705 --> 00:28:39.950
Back in the early two thousands was the first time we really started publicly talking about mental health.
00:28:39.950 --> 00:28:42.560
We're still not there, but we first started talking about it.
00:28:43.310 --> 00:28:51.260
I go around telling college coaches, talk about it, get it out of the closet because it helps you strategize more.
00:28:51.380 --> 00:28:57.920
'cause some of these dollar offerings, they can be life changing for the first five years of your life after college.
00:28:57.950 --> 00:29:02.240
And this is what I always say, oh my gosh, you got$250,000, that's great.
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.365
Your life's gonna be amazing until 2029.
00:29:05.570 --> 00:29:06.530
Now what are we gonna do?
00:29:06.560 --> 00:29:07.490
You have no degree.
00:29:07.670 --> 00:29:08.000
That's right.
00:29:08.210 --> 00:29:09.080
No place to go.
00:29:09.350 --> 00:29:09.560
That's right.
00:29:09.590 --> 00:29:10.850
And you've already spent all the money.
00:29:10.880 --> 00:29:11.300
Now what?
00:29:11.630 --> 00:29:11.870
That's right.
00:29:11.870 --> 00:29:15.680
So this idea that if I'm getting hundreds of thousands of dollars, that's life changing.
00:29:15.680 --> 00:29:19.140
It's not, you want parents to make a 60 year division decision.
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:23.460
Where do we wanna be in those 40 years of my working life?
00:29:23.640 --> 00:29:26.580
Pick a school that aligns with that.
00:29:27.060 --> 00:29:30.030
Or even if you're transferring, pick a school that aligns with that.
00:29:30.330 --> 00:29:40.140
So win, lose, draw, or you're getting a lot of money, you're gonna get that degree to take care of yourself for the next 40 years after you graduate when you're 22 years old.
00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:41.100
I love it.
00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:42.495
I'm on 100%.
00:29:43.650 --> 00:29:48.240
I have a 16-year-old daughter who played club volleyball for the last six, seven years.
00:29:49.230 --> 00:29:53.070
And I wanna talk about mental health a little bit with you.
00:29:54.210 --> 00:29:59.190
My biggest concern that I see with what she's gone through is the time commitment.
00:29:59.400 --> 00:30:02.250
She goes from high school volleyball in July.
00:30:03.195 --> 00:30:13.005
To November and then immediately into open gyms for club, and then they're competing until July and then right back into high school.
00:30:14.055 --> 00:30:14.475
Yeah.
00:30:15.015 --> 00:30:16.635
It's a lot to unpack, right?
00:30:16.635 --> 00:30:17.115
Let's go.
00:30:17.115 --> 00:30:17.596
Let's start.
00:30:17.596 --> 00:30:19.635
Let's start at the top and then peel it down.
00:30:20.295 --> 00:30:22.305
I wish I truly believe this.
00:30:22.846 --> 00:30:26.415
I wish we had amateur club sports partnered with the NCAA two A.
00:30:26.655 --> 00:30:39.945
Yeah, so that student athlete is mirroring a very protected schedule and based on how many sports you're playing, it would be a mandatory dead period where it is a legit dead period.
00:30:40.096 --> 00:30:42.975
So if it's a dead period, you can't go play another sport.
00:30:42.975 --> 00:30:46.935
You're in your reset rejuvenate period.
00:30:46.935 --> 00:30:47.745
That's number one.
00:30:48.225 --> 00:30:49.155
Number two is.
00:30:49.575 --> 00:30:56.415
The brain isn't wired to be on 24 7, but society-wise, we haven't acknowledged that.
00:30:56.565 --> 00:31:01.846
So the poor scholar athlete is trying to keep the brain on 24 7.
00:31:01.935 --> 00:31:05.565
We know we're failing miserably on that, but let's start at the top.
00:31:05.596 --> 00:31:12.435
When we talk about mental health, we have to break it up into two categories.
00:31:13.815 --> 00:31:14.985
One is clinical.
00:31:15.525 --> 00:31:26.545
So we have young children out there that are actually suffering from chemical imbalances that require a clinical health expert.
00:31:27.865 --> 00:31:32.915
And then we have many more that are dealing with mental performance challenges.
00:31:32.915 --> 00:31:34.955
They've got performance anxiety.
00:31:35.135 --> 00:31:38.525
They've socialized these words like pressure.
00:31:39.395 --> 00:31:44.405
Anxious, anxiety, and the brain is very compliant.
00:31:44.405 --> 00:31:49.325
So when you start talking about, I'm super nervous, I have so much anxiety, the brain is like you.
00:31:49.445 --> 00:31:50.405
You have anxiety.
00:31:51.365 --> 00:31:55.985
Puts on all the red lights, the brain puts on the red lights, gets the chemicals going.
00:31:55.985 --> 00:31:58.205
The blood now starts flowing everywhere.
00:31:58.270 --> 00:32:13.055
So now that young child is sweating, possibly tacky throat, lumping their throat, sweaty palms, stomach ache, mud butt, we've all been there Once we can teach our young children.
00:32:13.475 --> 00:32:23.705
Everybody has mental performance challenges and there are somes that, that have clinical mental health challenges and both of them can get to the top.
00:32:23.885 --> 00:32:27.245
Coached at UCLA for 27 years and 15 Olympians.
00:32:27.485 --> 00:32:38.525
We've had athletes that had serious case of both and still went to the top, stayed on top, and now are really high functioning humans in society.
00:32:38.645 --> 00:32:50.315
So we need the parents to look at mental performance and mental health, almost like it's a management cycle and not a disability.
00:32:50.885 --> 00:32:53.415
So we're not looking for accommodations.
00:32:53.445 --> 00:32:58.185
We're not saying, oh, she wants the day off'cause she's got a lot of performance anxiety.
00:32:59.115 --> 00:33:01.905
And in high performance we just call it energy.
00:33:03.135 --> 00:33:11.925
So when my energy is misdirected, misguided, we now know our breath can realign us.
00:33:12.285 --> 00:33:16.725
In terms of being anxious, anxiety, feeling pressure, it's just energy.
00:33:17.175 --> 00:33:19.245
It first starts with our words.
00:33:19.245 --> 00:33:23.085
We've gotta change the vernacular that I'm feeling really elevated today.
00:33:23.565 --> 00:33:24.645
Brain's oh, you're elevated.
00:33:24.705 --> 00:33:27.105
I know how to dera decelerate you.
00:33:27.885 --> 00:33:30.915
I'm gonna go ahead and put my breathing kits to work.
00:33:31.245 --> 00:33:41.385
We now have specific breathing kits to elevate or calm down and from the day forward, from when they're in second grade, when they were feeling anxious.
00:33:41.625 --> 00:33:48.795
Everybody's body deals differently with environments that they pick up a vibration.
00:33:48.846 --> 00:33:56.075
We have children, we have young adults, we have Olympians and high performers that are empaths.
00:33:56.615 --> 00:33:57.575
Their body.
00:33:57.765 --> 00:34:00.795
We call them high frequency, meaning their frequency.
00:34:00.795 --> 00:34:02.985
When they walk into rooms, they go to ball games.
00:34:02.985 --> 00:34:06.465
Their frequency is picking up everything.
00:34:06.975 --> 00:34:09.335
They're picking up the temperature of the room.
00:34:09.335 --> 00:34:13.085
They're picking up the noise, they're picking up the closeness of people.
00:34:13.326 --> 00:34:15.786
Their little bodies are taking all that in.
00:34:15.786 --> 00:34:26.106
We call'em high freaks because we wanna celebrate them because they actually have the capability of going to even a higher level once they can control that.
00:34:26.346 --> 00:34:30.365
But we have to stop shaming people that are empath.
00:34:30.516 --> 00:34:32.465
Dude, stop it.
00:34:32.465 --> 00:34:33.516
Quit whining.
00:34:33.635 --> 00:34:34.655
Quit being a baby.
00:34:34.956 --> 00:34:36.215
Get off the floor.
00:34:36.275 --> 00:34:38.376
Stop crying'cause you're overwhelmed.
00:34:38.795 --> 00:34:44.586
No, actually race to over to her and say, you want me to go through some breathing with you right now?
00:34:44.736 --> 00:34:45.231
Here sit.
00:34:45.276 --> 00:34:47.016
Sit up and let's just close our eyes.
00:34:47.106 --> 00:34:48.216
Let's ground our feet.
00:34:48.366 --> 00:34:54.256
Let's start to get centered with our breath and let's work, breathing kit number one, and let's get our breath back.
00:34:54.346 --> 00:34:55.156
We'll start there.
00:34:55.396 --> 00:34:56.536
Let's be where our feet are.
00:34:56.956 --> 00:34:58.156
Be the helper.
00:34:58.156 --> 00:35:00.286
Don't be captain obvious.
00:35:00.286 --> 00:35:06.046
And that starts with the parents and then it goes to the teammates at the top.
00:35:06.106 --> 00:35:07.846
Mental health, break it up.
00:35:07.876 --> 00:35:09.706
Mental health, mental performance.
00:35:10.186 --> 00:35:14.256
Understand in this, we have people that pick up a lot of signals.
00:35:14.496 --> 00:35:16.416
This one, it could be chemical.
00:35:16.416 --> 00:35:22.296
There may be other assets that need to be a part of their kit, their mental performance kit.
00:35:22.386 --> 00:35:27.456
And we have to feel good about all of it because all of them are capable of going the top.
00:35:29.946 --> 00:35:37.356
How much of this were you doing 30 years ago that you couldn't define and couldn't put it into categories like you can so easily now?
00:35:38.686 --> 00:35:41.086
Where were you 30 years ago with all of this?
00:35:41.396 --> 00:35:43.666
Now remember, 30 years ago I was 37.
00:35:43.666 --> 00:35:45.646
Let's talk about, 40 years ago.
00:35:45.706 --> 00:35:45.946
Okay.
00:35:45.976 --> 00:35:47.506
40 years ago whatever you're comfortable with.
00:35:47.806 --> 00:35:50.956
Early in my career I was just a yeller.
00:35:51.646 --> 00:35:51.916
Yeah.
00:35:52.996 --> 00:35:55.846
I'm not talking about how are you feeling?
00:35:56.176 --> 00:35:57.646
I'm not talking about your breath.
00:35:57.916 --> 00:36:00.316
All I'm talking about are your feet that have to run.
00:36:00.406 --> 00:36:01.636
'cause you're one minute late.
00:36:01.696 --> 00:36:03.496
So go do your 400 up downs.
00:36:03.646 --> 00:36:04.276
Shut up.
00:36:04.396 --> 00:36:04.906
Put up.
00:36:05.716 --> 00:36:06.676
And I regret that.
00:36:07.486 --> 00:36:13.216
I regret that I could have been a better coach if I had more knowledge.
00:36:13.396 --> 00:36:13.666
Yeah.
00:36:13.846 --> 00:36:14.296
I'm with you.
00:36:14.296 --> 00:36:14.506
I'm around.
00:36:14.866 --> 00:36:16.396
Treat them as a human first.
00:36:16.576 --> 00:36:16.696
Yeah.
00:36:16.696 --> 00:36:17.536
And a person second.
00:36:17.716 --> 00:36:17.956
Yeah.
00:36:17.986 --> 00:36:18.586
I was the same way.
00:36:18.586 --> 00:36:19.366
And a player second.
00:36:19.421 --> 00:36:20.911
Where's the balance though, coach?
00:36:21.191 --> 00:36:24.881
We, there still has to be an understanding how to get there.
00:36:24.881 --> 00:36:27.071
Can we do that without the challenge?
00:36:27.281 --> 00:36:29.411
Without, i'm talking about readiness.
00:36:29.661 --> 00:36:31.281
I'm not talking about physical standards.
00:36:31.401 --> 00:36:33.651
Physical standards we're, they're they're unchanging.
00:36:33.751 --> 00:36:37.861
Your physical expectations based on the coach you're playing for.
00:36:38.611 --> 00:36:40.141
He or she doesn't have to change that.
00:36:40.171 --> 00:36:41.581
We get confused.
00:36:41.586 --> 00:36:41.736
Okay.
00:36:42.061 --> 00:36:49.571
When we get confused when we talk about mental and physical, and we talk about spent spending spending seven minutes to get mentally ready.
00:36:49.661 --> 00:36:51.101
People think it goes like this.
00:36:51.161 --> 00:36:53.921
Oh, mental readiness, that means I have to lower the standard.
00:36:54.041 --> 00:36:54.671
No, it doesn't.
00:36:55.211 --> 00:36:58.421
That standard stays there, beginning, middle, and end.
00:36:58.511 --> 00:36:59.441
There's my standard.
00:36:59.501 --> 00:37:00.311
It's unwavering.
00:37:00.551 --> 00:37:11.351
It my world, it's unwavering because we don't have the capacity to be able to take a weekend off these programs.
00:37:11.351 --> 00:37:19.751
When you're to our sport parents, when you're watching these programs, when you're watching the UCLAs and the Oklahomas and the Alabamas and the Floridas.
00:37:21.446 --> 00:37:27.396
And the Texas and Texas Tech, you're watching these top, they don't get a weekend off in general.
00:37:28.326 --> 00:37:39.756
And we now have to acknowledge as a leader, coach, teacher, if I don't get a weekend off physically, because I'm supposed to win every game, I've gotta learn how to regulate my mental performance.
00:37:40.116 --> 00:37:41.736
I've gotta learn how to regulate my body.
00:37:41.976 --> 00:37:55.256
So now the next I call it the 22nd century thinking is we're looking at rest and rigor with the same level of commitment that rest is built into your digital calendar.
00:37:55.526 --> 00:38:05.396
How many students out there, and let's not get into time management, but you should be scheduling rest into every digital calendar.
00:38:05.396 --> 00:38:11.156
Parents should be putting it in and you should have rest, what we call rest blocks.
00:38:11.606 --> 00:38:13.316
Three day, three times a day.
00:38:14.051 --> 00:38:17.141
You stack those just like you stack your workouts, right?
00:38:17.141 --> 00:38:19.301
We're always saying we're trying to stack another good day.
00:38:19.811 --> 00:38:23.201
I now say, stack a good day physically and stack a good day mentally.
00:38:23.201 --> 00:38:24.821
Did you get your rest windows done?
00:38:25.631 --> 00:38:27.341
What is, what does a rest block look like?
00:38:27.611 --> 00:38:31.171
Imagine what a rest block is it or we also call it the zero block.
00:38:31.231 --> 00:38:32.851
What do you think they do in the zero block?
00:38:34.286 --> 00:38:36.206
I would imagine it's some kind of meditation or sleep.
00:38:36.716 --> 00:38:37.046
Yeah.
00:38:37.166 --> 00:38:38.016
You're doing zero.
00:38:38.286 --> 00:38:38.586
Yeah.
00:38:38.586 --> 00:38:39.006
Nothing.
00:38:39.606 --> 00:38:39.996
Nothing.
00:38:40.986 --> 00:38:45.276
No phone, no lights, no distractions.
00:38:45.426 --> 00:38:50.676
If you wanna just sit under a tree and hear your breathing, that's a beautiful zero station.
00:38:50.916 --> 00:38:52.956
What would you recommend a block like that?
00:38:53.616 --> 00:38:54.396
How long should it be?
00:38:54.996 --> 00:38:55.836
Depends on the person.
00:38:55.836 --> 00:38:56.946
Depends on the time of the day.
00:38:56.976 --> 00:38:57.006
Okay.
00:38:57.066 --> 00:39:00.546
There are athletes right now that have to, they have to execute.
00:39:00.576 --> 00:39:07.156
I was going through a time management'cause time, we talk about an epidemic around mental health and I acknowledge that it is.
00:39:07.576 --> 00:39:08.266
Epidemic.
00:39:08.266 --> 00:39:10.126
You wanna know another epi Epidemic?
00:39:10.756 --> 00:39:11.716
Time management.
00:39:12.346 --> 00:39:12.946
Oh, it's terrible.
00:39:12.946 --> 00:39:13.546
Parents.
00:39:13.876 --> 00:39:14.086
Yeah.
00:39:14.536 --> 00:39:20.176
Parents, please teach them time management.
00:39:20.476 --> 00:39:20.686
Yeah.
00:39:20.986 --> 00:39:28.936
Don't tell them everything they're doing hour by hour, Johnny, now you're gonna go take a shower, Johnny, now you're gonna put your shoes on.
00:39:29.086 --> 00:39:29.476
Johnny.
00:39:29.476 --> 00:39:30.706
Now we're gonna go to practice.
00:39:30.706 --> 00:39:31.036
Johnny.
00:39:31.036 --> 00:39:31.936
Now no.
00:39:32.476 --> 00:39:36.586
Give Johnny the week and tell him to put it in his digital counter.
00:39:36.676 --> 00:39:40.606
And people always, I always get emails after and people will say, when do I start that?
00:39:40.816 --> 00:39:42.256
The minute you give them a phone.
00:39:43.966 --> 00:39:45.286
My, my daughter's 10.
00:39:45.286 --> 00:39:46.786
She has a phone start then.
00:39:47.176 --> 00:39:47.416
Yep.
00:39:47.626 --> 00:39:48.766
And they're like, oh, I don't know.
00:39:48.766 --> 00:39:49.686
It's so complicated.
00:39:49.716 --> 00:39:52.236
Have you ever seen those kids?
00:39:52.516 --> 00:39:54.916
I'm so impressed with Gen A.
00:39:55.026 --> 00:39:57.156
So Gen A is coming after Gen Z, right?
00:39:57.236 --> 00:40:00.386
Parents will say to me, oh, this is so complicated with all the digital and.
00:40:00.866 --> 00:40:04.136
I said, are you watching your daughter do those TikTok dances?
00:40:04.496 --> 00:40:05.846
She is legit.
00:40:06.446 --> 00:40:11.336
She could do three minutes with her friends, completely in sync.
00:40:11.606 --> 00:40:18.326
The amount of mental load, physical execution and timing, just like filling your digital calendar.
00:40:18.476 --> 00:40:19.286
She can do it.
00:40:19.706 --> 00:40:20.786
Give her a chance to do it.
00:40:20.786 --> 00:40:21.506
Ab absolutely.
00:40:21.746 --> 00:40:28.086
I'm a huge proponent of it, and I wish somebody would've taught me this 40 years ago, because for me, yeah, I know, me too.
00:40:28.716 --> 00:40:40.196
For me this phone, as much as I hate it, sometimes if I didn't have it, I think I would be a hot mess because an alarm will go off and he'll say, you gotta prep for sue.
00:40:41.426 --> 00:40:46.466
An alarm will go off and say, Hey, grab your son and go for a walk.
00:40:46.716 --> 00:40:48.366
You're not gonna have any time with him today.
00:40:49.026 --> 00:40:51.456
This is gonna be your hour to go spend some time with him.
00:40:51.786 --> 00:40:52.566
Yeah, exactly.
00:40:52.606 --> 00:40:56.986
And so what we call those intention, what you just said, we call those intention blocks, right?
00:40:56.991 --> 00:41:02.001
I'm gonna have intention, like for example, I have a, let's say I have a history test on Monday.
00:41:02.391 --> 00:41:07.161
My intention block on Sunday is reread chapters one through five.
00:41:07.251 --> 00:41:11.781
And so we have blocks of what we call hard events.
00:41:12.231 --> 00:41:15.621
And then every event usually involves a prep block.
00:41:16.551 --> 00:41:19.371
So how many prep blocks do I need for the history test?
00:41:19.371 --> 00:41:20.871
Depends on how prepared you are.
00:41:21.141 --> 00:41:23.031
So if you're not prepared, it's Friday.
00:41:23.031 --> 00:41:24.291
Now my test is Monday.
00:41:24.381 --> 00:41:29.151
You're gonna have to put probably six preparation blocks in your calendar to read.
00:41:29.661 --> 00:41:29.781
Okay.
00:41:29.781 --> 00:41:33.051
But remember you gotta put your rest blocks in there as well.
00:41:33.321 --> 00:41:37.041
And then I'm recommending with our Gen A, when I work with Gen A's.
00:41:38.151 --> 00:41:39.566
Putting what age is that coach?
00:41:39.626 --> 00:41:46.676
Is that it, I think they're saying like, there's an overlap, but it's around eight to 10 years old to like up to 18.
00:41:46.676 --> 00:41:47.996
It, there's a crossover.
00:41:48.156 --> 00:41:49.596
So that's my son and my daughter.
00:41:49.836 --> 00:41:50.526
It's right behind.
00:41:50.526 --> 00:41:54.121
So yeah, so gen Zs I think are like 18 to 20, 8 30, somewhere in there.
00:41:54.121 --> 00:41:54.401
Okay.
00:41:54.696 --> 00:41:58.461
I don't quote me on that exactly, but they're coming up after the Gen Zers.
00:41:58.986 --> 00:42:05.856
And what we're working on is having them look at social media, like it's homework, so it should be in your calendar.
00:42:06.366 --> 00:42:10.581
And there are times that you do it, and there are times you don't do it like that a lot.
00:42:10.896 --> 00:42:21.436
And that's, that takes baby steps because right now for our half of our millennials, for our Gen Z and Gen A, it is not technology.
00:42:22.456 --> 00:42:24.506
So I always tell parents, let me explain it to you.
00:42:25.751 --> 00:42:27.221
We look at the phone as technology.
00:42:27.221 --> 00:42:28.631
It came into our life.
00:42:28.691 --> 00:42:29.441
We didn't have it.
00:42:29.441 --> 00:42:30.191
And then we had it.
00:42:30.191 --> 00:42:31.181
So it sits out here.
00:42:31.481 --> 00:42:36.971
I always tell parents think about the phone to your daughter is like the toilet to us.
00:42:39.161 --> 00:42:39.491
Okay.
00:42:39.551 --> 00:42:45.641
You, someone said to you, Hey Matt, you know we're gonna do, we're gonna put a timer on when you can go to the bathroom.
00:42:45.641 --> 00:42:46.541
You're like, wait a minute.
00:42:46.871 --> 00:42:50.081
I've had free access 24 7 to the toilet my whole life.
00:42:50.771 --> 00:42:55.661
But it will help you understand how difficult it is for them to separate.
00:42:55.661 --> 00:42:56.921
'cause there is no separation.
00:42:56.921 --> 00:42:58.361
It did not come into their life.
00:42:58.571 --> 00:42:59.741
It's been there all along.
00:43:00.011 --> 00:43:00.491
That's right.
00:43:01.226 --> 00:43:01.426
Interesting.
00:43:03.116 --> 00:43:05.136
Coach I wanna go back to what I asked you before.
00:43:05.136 --> 00:43:09.786
I loved where we went with it, but I want to talk about the length of the travel ball season.
00:43:09.816 --> 00:43:12.631
'cause I think we, we have to address it at some point.
00:43:13.381 --> 00:43:17.191
'cause we have all these great athletes who love their sport, they're passionate about their sport.
00:43:17.191 --> 00:43:20.521
They can't wait to get up and get better at it and go be with their team.
00:43:21.151 --> 00:43:34.921
And by the 90th game of the summer, they can't imagine picking up a bat or being out in the hundred degree weather anymore because they've done it so much and they're so burned out with all the noise we're talking about.
00:43:36.391 --> 00:43:37.651
Can we start there?
00:43:38.101 --> 00:43:47.851
Is it reasonable to say we're gonna block this out where, like you talked about with the ncaa, it's gonna be a three month season for travel ball and that's it.
00:43:48.346 --> 00:43:50.266
Yeah, the water's under the bridge.
00:43:50.416 --> 00:43:51.706
It's very difficult.
00:43:51.816 --> 00:43:53.496
You see how they get around the rules?
00:43:53.496 --> 00:43:55.441
There, the high school did it, right?
00:43:55.441 --> 00:43:56.521
They built in policy.
00:43:56.881 --> 00:43:56.971
Yeah.
00:43:56.971 --> 00:43:58.441
But you saw how they get around the rule.
00:43:58.531 --> 00:44:08.851
And so I think for me, I would love to be more proactive around, I just wish there was a deeper connection with n NCAA two A and club ball.
00:44:09.271 --> 00:44:10.711
And what would that look like?
00:44:10.741 --> 00:44:13.561
Let's say there's two areas for me, technically.
00:44:13.561 --> 00:44:13.951
Three.
00:44:15.841 --> 00:44:18.661
The physical, how the body moves.
00:44:18.661 --> 00:44:26.221
So let's just say functional movement, mental performance, time management, critical thinking skills.
00:44:26.401 --> 00:44:26.671
Okay.
00:44:26.671 --> 00:44:27.631
Just think, okay.
00:44:27.631 --> 00:44:28.671
The office skills.
00:44:28.701 --> 00:44:29.031
Okay.
00:44:29.571 --> 00:44:44.751
I would love for the n NCAA two A to put together a consortia, men and women and any travel ball group can come and be a part of that and access the information.
00:44:45.526 --> 00:44:46.036
And no.
00:44:46.036 --> 00:44:47.806
NC two A is not gonna make money off this.
00:44:47.806 --> 00:44:49.366
Travel ball's not gonna make money off it.
00:44:49.366 --> 00:45:01.786
What's happening right now is colleges travel ball are going into the pocket of the parent telling them, you gotta get, you gotta do this tournament, you gotta do this recruit.
00:45:01.786 --> 00:45:15.156
And the parent, the poor parent doesn't know how to discern what is life threatening and what is, we're trying to keep our travel ball program going, or we're trying to fundraise for our college program'cause they're equally guilty.
00:45:15.426 --> 00:45:17.596
So I sit here, I have a bias, I wanna own it.
00:45:17.656 --> 00:45:22.846
I'm a college coach, but for the last 20 years, I'm now in everybody's mess.
00:45:23.356 --> 00:45:25.156
I now consult with travel ball coaches.
00:45:25.156 --> 00:45:26.266
I have a new understanding.
00:45:26.416 --> 00:45:28.096
When I started one softball mat.
00:45:28.876 --> 00:45:33.796
I had a whole new understanding of what the poor travel ball coach is dealing with, right?
00:45:33.796 --> 00:45:35.926
Especially the ones that are doing it part-time.
00:45:36.086 --> 00:45:42.116
I do not have empathy for people that are making a business outta travel ball, and I don't have a problem with it either.
00:45:42.166 --> 00:45:42.706
I like it.
00:45:42.706 --> 00:45:47.776
There's some beautiful, big organizations that are doing it right?
00:45:47.836 --> 00:45:53.266
Driven by character, has a legit transparent process and they're delivering results.
00:45:53.326 --> 00:45:54.016
I love that.
00:45:54.046 --> 00:45:57.466
I feel badly for that group that doesn't know what end is up.
00:45:57.466 --> 00:46:09.406
Wouldn't it be great if a parent knew that vetted and verified, good Housekeeping seal for travel ball is this and you can get it at all of these sites.
00:46:09.976 --> 00:46:24.916
And so the travel ball coach is gonna get out of the business of recruit education, get out of the business of business skills, get out of the business of mental training, unless that is your certified area and you are a subject matter expert in.
00:46:25.726 --> 00:46:41.416
And you th and your idea is we, the ncaa provides those things that these coaches, NC two A and the, and wouldn't it be beautiful it would be the U-S-O-P-C in all our national governing bodies, partner with the NCAA two A and create this layer that is required.
00:46:41.536 --> 00:46:42.886
You know what I equate it to?
00:46:43.246 --> 00:46:47.536
And the only way you could get this done, and I'm, I'm speaking innovation.
00:46:48.376 --> 00:46:56.986
This could get done if we tied all of this path to college education for children that are performing.
00:46:56.986 --> 00:46:59.836
I don't care if it's dance, I, anything sports.
00:47:00.106 --> 00:47:08.206
If we tied it into insurance, if we tied it into insurance, now everyone is gonna shift.
00:47:08.296 --> 00:47:09.856
This is serious.
00:47:10.336 --> 00:47:13.666
We're gonna hold it over The parent, you can't play.
00:47:13.786 --> 00:47:17.086
We all know you can't play unless you get your certified insurance.
00:47:17.386 --> 00:47:21.376
If we put all of that underneath insurance.
00:47:21.961 --> 00:47:28.141
Then before they get into their first tournament, they already know about what the odds are, mom and dad.
00:47:28.141 --> 00:47:39.541
The odds of your daughter or son getting a full ride to the school of their choice is 1e-05% and you're gonna go, no wait.
00:47:39.541 --> 00:47:42.181
The staff high year is five to 20%.
00:47:42.271 --> 00:47:42.481
No.
00:47:42.481 --> 00:47:44.671
I said, tell your choice.
00:47:45.151 --> 00:47:48.481
Not oh, I got offered a scholarship at this school.
00:47:48.481 --> 00:47:50.011
I never wanted to go to that school.
00:47:50.371 --> 00:47:51.361
What if we said that?
00:47:51.361 --> 00:47:55.201
But right now, we're living a world where parents are hand over fist money.
00:47:56.011 --> 00:47:56.851
It's the lotto.
00:47:58.531 --> 00:48:00.931
They are living a world for eight years.
00:48:01.081 --> 00:48:02.131
It's a lottery.
00:48:02.491 --> 00:48:03.691
It is the way we're doing it.
00:48:04.651 --> 00:48:09.841
Imagine if we said no, we're actually gonna have a way through technology.
00:48:09.901 --> 00:48:14.611
You're actually gonna see from a third party is gonna say, this is where you fit.
00:48:15.151 --> 00:48:18.571
Not the travel ball coach, not the college coach, A third party.
00:48:19.471 --> 00:48:24.541
Is gonna be able to say, here's the clump of schools that would love to hear from you.
00:48:24.871 --> 00:48:27.571
Imagine if we gave that answer book to the parents.
00:48:28.741 --> 00:48:29.731
Don't they deserve that?
00:48:29.791 --> 00:48:31.111
Don't the parents deserve that?
00:48:31.191 --> 00:48:33.921
If we can figure that out, I will.
00:48:34.221 --> 00:48:35.421
I'll do everything to be a part.
00:48:35.421 --> 00:48:38.431
Listen, I just believe in America.
00:48:38.481 --> 00:48:39.261
I'm a believer.
00:48:39.651 --> 00:48:44.241
Can you imagine if we got the top insurance people together the legit ones?
00:48:44.291 --> 00:48:45.291
Not the criminals.
00:48:46.221 --> 00:48:48.231
We got the NC two A education.
00:48:48.231 --> 00:48:50.331
A lot of people don't know about NNC two education.
00:48:50.331 --> 00:48:54.321
Get on the website, get into NC two.org.
00:48:54.321 --> 00:49:01.551
If the parents ever clicked on all the student athlete links that they've put together, it is the best.
00:49:01.581 --> 00:49:02.361
But good luck.
00:49:02.451 --> 00:49:02.571
Great.
00:49:02.991 --> 00:49:05.271
Good luck having people tell you that it's there.
00:49:05.841 --> 00:49:06.021
Yeah.
00:49:06.021 --> 00:49:10.371
And then imagine if we just grabbed 15 of the top.
00:49:12.096 --> 00:49:23.566
Amazon executives and said, Hey, Amazon, I don't work for Amazon, so people don't be texting me that you're working for, I'm not working for Amazon, but I am fascinated.
00:49:24.376 --> 00:49:28.081
I'm fascinated that if I go in there, I exactly where you're going.
00:49:28.511 --> 00:49:28.801
Yeah.
00:49:28.876 --> 00:49:43.816
If I buy those blue socks that have neon yellow trim, it is two minutes later I'm like, Hey, look at these cute racing pants that you could run your race, your road race in that would match your socks.
00:49:44.896 --> 00:49:46.546
The technology is there.
00:49:46.876 --> 00:49:55.131
Do you think it is, from an evaluation standpoint though, do you think the AI is there to evaluate what you're looking for in a softball player?
00:49:55.671 --> 00:49:57.171
Oh, it's coming my friend.
00:49:57.171 --> 00:50:01.851
We already have bots that can play center field that can read the trajectory of the ball.
00:50:01.901 --> 00:50:04.131
So trust me, it's coming.
00:50:04.161 --> 00:50:06.621
It's just a matter of who's gonna control it.
00:50:07.051 --> 00:50:07.981
That's the problem.
00:50:08.186 --> 00:50:11.096
And then there's the character side and then there's, mental.
00:50:11.101 --> 00:50:21.421
But imagine if we had a think about this on your parent when you're a young daughter, she finishes pre-K and she's getting ready to go into K and then into first grade.
00:50:22.801 --> 00:50:29.011
You already know she has to go through certain standards and will be dipping into certain domains.
00:50:29.131 --> 00:50:29.371
Yeah.
00:50:30.211 --> 00:50:32.041
That would be a perfect place to start.
00:50:32.041 --> 00:50:33.631
But right now, you know what the parent knows.
00:50:34.141 --> 00:50:42.841
Get on that one team that's gonna be in the Colorado tournament that mom and dad, that is a tournament lotto.
00:50:42.991 --> 00:50:47.341
There are 32,000 softball families there.
00:50:47.551 --> 00:50:52.051
Yes, they are 175 miles away from each other.
00:50:52.906 --> 00:50:59.296
Good luck for that one school, gonna find your daughter at the same time that you happen to be playing.
00:50:59.506 --> 00:51:01.516
It is such shenanigans.
00:51:01.696 --> 00:51:01.756
Yeah.
00:51:01.756 --> 00:51:02.776
And being out of it.
00:51:02.776 --> 00:51:06.226
And I was in it, I was in it, I'm a guilty one.
00:51:06.466 --> 00:51:08.506
I hold myself account accountable.
00:51:08.686 --> 00:51:14.566
I was part of the problem'cause I was a college coach that just kept benefiting from the system.
00:51:14.956 --> 00:51:16.186
'cause I was at UCLA.
00:51:16.666 --> 00:51:23.096
But would you if I told you all this 30 years ago that you.
00:51:23.921 --> 00:51:29.951
That you had this, that you could do this a different way, would've you have, would you have ego have allowed you to change it?
00:51:29.951 --> 00:51:31.151
Because that's the problem.
00:51:31.511 --> 00:51:41.831
If nobody that's in that position now will let go of their ego and say, yes, I'm gonna be a part of this new way we're going to recruit and the new way we're going to evaluate, would you have done it?
00:51:42.111 --> 00:51:43.011
Let me reframe it.
00:51:43.011 --> 00:51:45.081
I get a little heightened on the word the ego.
00:51:45.111 --> 00:51:47.781
'cause college coach here, I gotta take care of my college coaches.
00:51:47.781 --> 00:51:50.601
People think that the college coach doesn't wanna let go of their ego.
00:51:50.781 --> 00:51:54.711
It actually has to do with everybody is doing all these tournaments.
00:51:54.711 --> 00:51:56.601
'cause they're trying to get to the top schools.
00:51:56.931 --> 00:52:02.211
The top schools don't need the standardization because the best percolate to the top.
00:52:02.481 --> 00:52:02.701
Yes.
00:52:02.751 --> 00:52:06.781
So Patty Gasso at Oklahoma, No.
00:52:07.291 --> 00:52:10.471
When you're the best, no one's coming to Patty's pity party.
00:52:10.551 --> 00:52:11.661
Because she's the best.
00:52:12.081 --> 00:52:17.631
But she actually has this same challenges because she has no margin for error.
00:52:18.501 --> 00:52:28.491
Every single year, Oklahoma, Texas, UCLA, whatever, they have to, they can't be off by one or two pitchers or they're gonna drop to eight or nine or 10.
00:52:28.821 --> 00:52:29.151
Okay.
00:52:30.111 --> 00:52:39.921
But if we said, look, we're doing this for the other 80%, okay, then I think we could get coaches to say, yeah let's do that.
00:52:40.021 --> 00:52:45.041
And there have been some people, we've gotta acknowledge Dave King and Triple Crown.
00:52:45.041 --> 00:52:51.251
We have to acknowledge them working so hard to standardize talent.
00:52:51.461 --> 00:52:52.921
And it is the future.
00:52:52.921 --> 00:52:56.521
We're just not getting the buy-in at the same rate.
00:52:57.241 --> 00:52:59.281
Historically, we're actually right on pace.
00:52:59.281 --> 00:53:00.001
Like baseball.
00:53:00.001 --> 00:53:01.261
It took baseball decades.
00:53:01.261 --> 00:53:08.856
It took baseball 40 years to start creating a true common language around a five tool player.
00:53:08.856 --> 00:53:10.116
So we've gotta be patient.
00:53:10.506 --> 00:53:27.006
We just, we were just starting the standardization and I was at the end of my career when we started it all and look, we're already 25 years in and we're, we still don't have a complete common language where everyone's speaking the same language around physical standards.
00:53:27.006 --> 00:53:35.616
And we've got some wonderful mental profiling standards out there, but there's just too much noise and the parent stays away'cause they don't know which one's vetted what, which one's verified.
00:53:35.616 --> 00:53:35.676
Yeah.
00:53:35.796 --> 00:53:36.666
That's a big problem.
00:53:36.666 --> 00:53:37.506
Where do we go?
00:53:37.506 --> 00:53:38.736
Which one do we choose?
00:53:39.636 --> 00:53:39.936
Coach?
00:53:39.936 --> 00:53:49.106
I could this conversation needs to continue to grow and I'll be a major proponent in pushing it and making sure people are listening and we keep having this conversation at a high level.
00:53:50.681 --> 00:53:56.951
I wanna take a little break and then for five, 10 minutes just talk about recruiting and really give some advice to parents and coaches and kids.
00:53:58.061 --> 00:54:03.281
Gimme one piece of advice to the coaches out there that they just need to hear.
00:54:03.281 --> 00:54:15.881
Whether you're a youth coach, whether you're a high school coach, whether you're a college coach, just that one nugget that you think if you're gonna go into your season, if you're gonna coach young people, this is the one thing I want you to start thinking about.
00:54:16.551 --> 00:54:26.721
If you're a parent and you're a fan, I want you to understand there's a big recruiting engine behind the curtain that you don't even see when you come to the park.
00:54:27.591 --> 00:54:34.791
I want the parent to know when you're sitting there and you look over and that top 10 coach there, I'm gonna ask the parent, try not to get nervous.
00:54:35.601 --> 00:54:42.171
They're actually, what the coach is looking for is, I wanna see them fail and see how they react.
00:54:42.651 --> 00:54:42.921
Yeah.
00:54:43.506 --> 00:54:46.836
Of course the, of course they wanna see if they can hit that great picture.
00:54:46.836 --> 00:54:47.976
Of course that's a given.
00:54:48.576 --> 00:54:55.026
But they, the college coach knows that every day that kid's not gonna be hitting that oppo, double off the fence.
00:54:55.746 --> 00:54:58.986
They're looking at barrel angle, they're looking at reaction time.
00:54:59.166 --> 00:55:04.026
But one thing they're really looking at is how are they managing their failure recovery?
00:55:04.206 --> 00:55:05.526
Are they a good teammate?
00:55:05.526 --> 00:55:06.996
They're looking at the interaction.
00:55:07.116 --> 00:55:10.056
Those college coaches are looking at a lot during warmup.
00:55:10.536 --> 00:55:12.216
They don't miss a beat.
00:55:12.456 --> 00:55:19.491
And so as a parent, be the voice to your young child to say on game day it's celebration day.
00:55:19.491 --> 00:55:21.636
You get to wear a special uniform.
00:55:21.696 --> 00:55:25.996
So you got your, we always say it's good old softball with a party dress on,'cause it's game day.
00:55:26.566 --> 00:55:27.766
Have a lot of joy out there.
00:55:27.766 --> 00:55:30.676
Be the engineer belief as a parent, Hey, you know what, today.
00:55:31.156 --> 00:55:33.226
I just can't wait to watch you play.
00:55:33.436 --> 00:55:34.126
PLAY.
00:55:34.156 --> 00:55:34.216
Yeah.
00:55:34.516 --> 00:55:38.846
So be that person that is that comforter for the child.
00:55:38.966 --> 00:55:41.456
And then during the game, just be heads up.
00:55:41.486 --> 00:55:48.906
If you're a big mechanics yeller at your child, have you ever asked your child, Hey, are you good with me saying, level up.
00:55:49.116 --> 00:55:49.926
Level up.
00:55:50.676 --> 00:55:53.616
If your child says, yeah, I love it when you say that, perfect.
00:55:54.066 --> 00:55:55.296
Never heard a child say that.
00:55:55.866 --> 00:55:56.406
Yeah, the second.
00:55:56.466 --> 00:56:02.376
The second thing is, every single time this is a marker, a mental marker.
00:56:02.376 --> 00:56:12.096
Every time you sit down on the bleachers, for every hour of watching softball, have you put 10 minutes into your recruiting plan for your daughter.
00:56:12.636 --> 00:56:12.876
Yeah.
00:56:12.881 --> 00:56:13.131
Okay.
00:56:13.131 --> 00:56:13.411
Love that.
00:56:13.416 --> 00:56:15.426
So the 10 to hour rule, right?
00:56:15.426 --> 00:56:18.426
So if you're at the park for six hours.
00:56:19.401 --> 00:56:21.981
You owe your daughter an hour of recruit planning.
00:56:21.981 --> 00:56:23.661
It's a great way to keep the balance.
00:56:24.081 --> 00:56:24.501
I agree.
00:56:24.801 --> 00:56:25.281
I agree.
00:56:25.941 --> 00:56:27.171
Coach, you're a national treasurer.
00:56:27.171 --> 00:56:28.551
Thanks so much for doing this.
00:56:28.601 --> 00:56:32.051
I appreciate everything you've done and I'm so excited that you're in this world.
00:56:32.741 --> 00:56:33.521
Thank you my friend.
00:56:33.521 --> 00:56:34.421
It's great to be with you.
00:56:35.645 --> 00:56:42.605
That wraps up part one of my conversation with Sue Enquist and wow, is she a wealth of information?
00:56:42.785 --> 00:56:49.985
What a gift to learn from someone who has shaped not only champions on the field, but healthier athletes and coaches in every arena she touches.
00:56:50.258 --> 00:56:51.368
But we're not done yet.
00:56:51.518 --> 00:57:03.338
Be sure to come back for part two of my conversation with Coach Sue on the significant recruiting podcast, where we'll dive deeper into our perspective on the recruiting landscape and the advice every family needs to hear.
00:57:03.488 --> 00:57:04.568
You won't want to miss it.
00:57:04.568 --> 00:57:05.923
That'll be out this upcoming Monday.
00:57:06.748 --> 00:57:19.858
In the meantime, if you're looking for tools to guide your own recruiting journey, visit coach matt rogers.com and don't forget to check out my brand new book, the Volleyball Recruits Journal, now available on amazon.com.
00:57:20.368 --> 00:57:27.538
It's built to help athletes and families stay organized, stay focused, and stay grounded throughout the recruiting process.
00:57:27.658 --> 00:57:29.098
Thanks for joining me today.
00:57:29.128 --> 00:57:32.938
Until next time, stay focused, stay humble, and stay in the fight.