Lexi's Truth

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Welcome back to SDK Wednesdays with your girl Ash.
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Today we have a guest, so let's get into SDK story time.
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It's Ash on the track.
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SDK sisters, yeah, we back.
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Pull up a seat.
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It's story time now.
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Real talk, real laugh.
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Let me show you how.
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SDK sister story time with Ash.
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Little light lessons in a flash.
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From the cold to the chaos we clash.
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SDK sister story time with Ash Ash.
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And today we have Lexi.
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Welcome to the show.
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Thank you for having me.
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Yeah, you can go ahead and tell your story.
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Okay.
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Um, so I was in a relationship for roughly five-ish years, a little bit over.
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And um eventually we moved in together, and I had my own place in Huntsville, Alabama.
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And um he had been using drugs and went to rehab, got clean and sober, and then spiraled back into addiction pretty heavily.
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And when I found out, I was like, you need to figure out what you want to do with your life, you've got to have some type of purpose.
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Um, and we had just been arguing a lot about that.
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Then um, let me start with saying I had never seen like what escalates to physical violence.
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Like I'd never been in that type of situation before.
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And so one night we're putting my son was two at the time, and he, you know, they say terrible twos, and he did not want to go to bed.
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He was fighting it, and I was like, okay, well, by the time I finish this laundry, we'll I'll read you a story.
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And um, my ex, his name's Peter, um, had walked upstairs and um gone to the bathroom, finished, and was walking into my son Grayson's room at the time, and um he Grayson was kind of throwing himself on the floor, having a tantrum, was like, no, I'm not ready.
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And uh in the corner of my eye, I saw him pick him up and like push him against the wall.
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Like, I guess and this is where our stories kind of contradict each other, but um I saw him like pick him up and push him against the wall to kind of hold him there, and was starting to have a stone talking to, and I just didn't like how that sat with me.
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And I was like, Hey, no, you don't need to do that.
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And before I realized, like that just triggered him even more, and he threw me to the ground um and started beating me.
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And then I was like, You need to get you need to go.
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Like, I'm not this is my house, you're not gonna treat me and my son like this, like this is not acceptable.
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Um and he kept escalating it, and so then my pride got the best of me, and I started to retaliate.
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I was like, no, and I started pushing him, trying to get him to get some clothes and get him out of the house.
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And um at that moment he pushed me off of him and he pushed me into the door frame.
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Now, a little backstory.
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Pete is a big guy, he's not little, he's he's roughly like 250 pounds at this time.
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He's 5'10.
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Um, with shoes, he's like 5'11, 5'12.
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Like he's and at the time I was maybe 160 and I'm 5'2.
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So he's already got the upper hand on me physically just because how big he is, but he pushed me so hard.
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He had um thinking about it.
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I had the door frame and it crashed my nose open.
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And um, my nose was broken, and there's blood everywhere, and he panics and freaks out, and he's like, Oh my gosh, I did not mean to do that.
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Starts apologizing.
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Um and I'm like, You still need to go.
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Well, he finally starts packing his stuff up and he was grabbing literally everything, like his computer, his shoes, his like anything downstairs that he had that was his, like just everything, and putting it into his truck, and he's walking in and out, and he slings uh there's little software toys that kids play in.
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He slings that across the living room, and I just I see I saw red.
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I was like, No, you can get the hell out.
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And so the next time he went out, I locked the door and I was like, I'm done.
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And um, he bangs on the door, he's like, Let me get the rest of my stuff, like like fucking open the door, screaming at me.
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And before I realize, I go downstairs and I open the door and I'm like, What do you need?
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And I shouldn't have opened the door, like looking back at it now.
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I wish I hadn't.
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But I did.
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And he ends up pushing me, and I fall into that toy that he had thrown across the living room right on my eye, and it cracks my eyebrow open.
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I probably should have got stitches.
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Um I didn't.
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I didn't call the cops, I didn't know what to do.
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I was just kind of in shock.
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And um he finally left, and I guess his goal was to go to like a gas station because this was at night.
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This was like 10, 11 o'clock at night at this point.
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And so he's going to a gas station to go and find some super glue to help me stitch up my eyebrow, which I'm like, no, I don't want your help.
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Um, and this is back like during like right after COVID, so like 2021, 2020.
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Um and he literally is driving all over Alabama, like from Decatur to Huntsville to like the state line, like just everywhere.
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And I don't call the cops, I call my friends, and they don't pick up.
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And so then I'm like, okay, what do I do now?
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I in the fight, he somehow got my phone, and so when I got it back, I'm literally calling anybody I like to just ask for advice.
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I was just so stuck in that fight or flight brain, and I'm like, I want to fight, but at this moment I know I can't, like, I'm not I'm not gonna win.
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And so then um shortly after all of that, I get a call, I'm texting a mutual friend of ours, and I'm like, hey, what do you want me to do?
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Um he always told me if anything ever happened, like to come to you, and he's like, Yeah, come here.
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And I'm like, I've got Grayson.
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I don't know if you want me to bring Grayson.
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And he's like, Yeah, like all of you, like you need just come here.
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And so I'm halfway, I'm right at the state line.
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His friend was in Tennessee in Murfreesboro, so it's about a two-hour drive, and I was just like, I need someone to kind of keep me company right now because I'm in shock.
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And so shortly after that, I get a call from Pete and um all these like super cryptic text messages, and just like he's gonna end his own life.
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And I'm like, okay, he made a mistake, doesn't mean he needs to go kill himself.
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So he had two storage units of stuff um in Huntsville.
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We had gotten a different house that it would be in both of our names, and so we were trying to move to that one, but it wasn't ready yet.
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And so shortly after I get these texts and things, I go to the first storage unit and he's not there, and I'm like, okay.
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So I go to the second one and I find him literally in the luckiest moment.
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He's in the storage unit with the door halfway down.
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His truck's not running.
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And I open the door and he's got his shotgun.
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And he's ready.
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Yeah, like I don't know if it was, I know it was loaded, but I don't know like if he had it like all ready to go.
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It was just in his hand when I found him.
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I'm like, what are you doing?
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He's like, look at your face.
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Like, I'm so sorry.
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I did not mean to do that.
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So the next probably two or three days after all of that, he comes, so he came home with me that night, and then the next two or three days, like I have this giant black eye.
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I cannot work at the time.
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I was working in sales, going to people's homes.
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There's no way makeup is gonna cover this little loneless gab or like anything.
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And so I took the next week off, and my boss knew what had happened, and he was trying.
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He's like, Are you alive?
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Okay, for starters, are you alive?
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Are you safe?
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Like, how can I help you?
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And he's like, You need to get away from him.
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And I didn't, I didn't listen to anybody.
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Uh, my friend's like, you need to call the police, you need to press charges.
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And I don't know what it was inside of me, but I just felt like if I pressed charges after he tried to commit suicide, like I like it would have pushed him closer to committing suicide.
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Um, I ended up reaching out to his brother and asking him, like, what do I do?
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He just got out of rehab.
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I'm trying to help him.
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I'm like, I really honestly don't know anymore.
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Like, I just don't.
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I'm very choking up by this.
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This isn't like him.
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And his brother's like, you have to do what's best for you and your kid.
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I can't tell you what to do.
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And so things were probably good for another six months.
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And I say good loosely because when I it like we still had hard arguments, we still are like fought verbally with each other, we still had disagreements, he ended up getting clean through those six months, and then he completely relapsed, and um there was no saving, like there was no saving event that that point.
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And I got this stupid idea um that maybe if I showed him I could do drugs and if I got clean, he could do it, then he's not alone.
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And um we were getting high all the time.
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It it felt like every other day.
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I lost uh well, I quit my job.
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Um he now was supporting us completely.
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I became a hundred percent reliant on him to pay my bills, and then I got to this feeling I'm like, I just put myself deeper into this whole why like this didn't help me, it didn't help him, and so I want to say it was around September, and so it's I wanna say it's 2021 now, and I get an offer for a different sales position, and I am like okay, I have to be clean because I can't use it's gonna affect my work.
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I like I really have to focus on getting clean, and so I did.
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I got clean and then probably I wanna say sometime in November, I ended up finding out I was pregnant, and I'm like, oh, I'm not ready.
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I and I uh take full responsibility, but it was something that we were kind of just doing, like we wanted to have another kid.
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We he has two previous children um from his last or his marriage from his ex-wife, and he wasn't seeing them, and so he wanted kids, and it was something we thought about doing loosely.
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It wasn't it was like we want to get married first, we want to have a house, things like that, and that takes time, but then I think it was kind of his way of trapping me into the relationship because he knew I would leave.
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And if I had a kid and it would make it harder for me to leave.
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Being that I already had one, he knew having two would be extremely difficult.
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So he um we ended up finding out I'm pregnant the week after um Thanksgiving, and we end up arguing about what to do.
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He's like, I'm not I don't I don't know if I want to have another kid right now.
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And I'm like, Well, you got nine months to figure it out.
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And he's like, No, I think you should have an abortion.
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And I'm like, I've been clean realistically since the middle of July, like I had used a couple times, um, but I had gotten completely clean and hadn't used the beginning of September.
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So it was like, I've been clean for two months now.
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This is another sign to stay clean.
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And he's like, No, I think you need to have an abortion, like I really do, and so we get into this argument, and I'm like, I just don't let's take some space, let's take some time to think it over.
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We have time to make this decision together, and it wasn't something that I was just gonna one day decide to do, and so he ends up getting back in touch with his um other children, his two older children, and his divorce is going through, and um he's got this court case going on, and so his life is kind of falling back in place in a sense, but then now he's got this child.
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So he got angry one night and choked me till I peed my pants, and I lost consciousness for probably five, ten seconds because I disagreed about the abortion, and so he started packing this stuff up and leaving, and I ran out to my car and left with my youngest, and I went and got a hotel that night, and I just I did not know.
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Do I call the police now?
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Will they believe me?
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Like, I'm not there, I got away, like he's not there.
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What do I like what do I do?
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And so I called his ex-wife, and after uh I had talked to her and she's like, just let him leave.
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Just let him leave.
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Like, there's not I said, No, look, this is what he's done.
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She's like, I know your mom sent me photos.
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And I was like, How did my mom get photos?
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How did what?
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And so now I'm like even more lost.
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And his ex-wife, you know, she didn't like me because I was the rebound.
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We had actually started our relationship while they were still married, so it was like, oh, shoot.
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Um, now I'm the mistress, which something I deeply regret and wish I never would have done.
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Um, but I ended up going, uh he ends up sending me money to have the abortion and tells me, like, I will not be there for this kid.
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This is not my life.
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I, if you want to raise it by yourself, don't expect to get child support.
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Like, I want nothing to do with you or this kid.
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While as sneaky as the ex-wife was, she was recording our conversation and um sent it to him.
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So I think that was like her way of trying to motivate him to leave and be done.
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But at the same time, sh you know, I never expected that.
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So when he came back to get like his couches and like his furniture and stuff out of the house, he was a lunatic.
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He had there was no talking to him, there was no reason, there was no nothing.
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And um he kicked me in my side pretty hard that night.
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And I went to the hospital.
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I'm like, I have to go get seen.
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Um, I took my youngest to at the time, it was a babysitter who would do like overnights and stuff that we had used before, and they were the sweetest.
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So they understood like the situation, and they're like, Yes, please go get checked out.
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I end up going and while I'm there, I'm like, please, like, just check on the baby, see if everything's okay.
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Like, I I genuinely don't know, but I need to know.
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I need some answers.
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And they're like, There's not much more we can do for you if you don't file a police report.
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And I said, here's the thing, they're not gonna believe me.
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And they're like, I believe you.
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Like, we need to get police involved, and I said, No, I I don't wanna do that to him.
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And she's like, Why are you protecting him?
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And that question kind of stuck with me and and hit me in a kind of a tough spot.
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And it was like, 'cause I 'cause I want him to want me.
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I w I want him.
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I want him to be in our child's life.
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And I know how he feels about cops.
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I know how he feels about all of it.
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Um so I I don't want to make that decision permanent.
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Like I don't want to solidify him not being part of our child's life.
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I don't want to solidify him being completely out.
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Like I wasn't ready to be done in the relationship almost.
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So we end up working things out through most of my pregnancy, but I still kept my distance.
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He didn't move back in.
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He got his own place.
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And um, my son Taylor, he was due the end of July.
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Um and so shortly around, I want to say May, um he went out to go see his dad.
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And then in June, he came back, and I had been having just some regular pregnancy issues.
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Like I like it was really hard for me to walk, my feet hurt, my hips were locking up, round ligament pain, stuff like that.
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Like nothing serious at that point.
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And my doctor's like, we're probably gonna end up inducing you around 36, 37 weeks.
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Um and he gets a call from his brother that his dad, and this is still June, and he called, gets a brother, his brother calls him and tells him that his dad has broken his hip.
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And at this point, Pete's like, I have to go, it's my dad.
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And I'm like, we're about to have a baby any day.
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I get it, it's your dad.
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So I'm not mad, but literally, you're finding it feels like you're finding an excuse not to be there.
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And he's like, I still think you should give him up for adoption.
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And he's really pushing adoption.
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And so I reached out to an adoption agency.
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I was like, he's not gonna be there.
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I don't I don't know why I'm I'm trying to force this fantasy.
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Like I really don't anymore.
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Like this is like he's telling me everything at face value.
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At least he's being honest with me.
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But I don't, I don't it didn't feel right to me to just give my son up for adoption.
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And it's now July.
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I wanna say it's like the 10th, the 11th.
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I just moved into a new place, and he's telling me how he's gotta help his other friends move into a house, and he's got to do all this different shit.
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So he's been cleaning for a while now, and the answer I got just was like, what the heck is going on?
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:10.720
And before I realize, he's high.
00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:14.880
He's he's relapsed for who knows how long.
00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:30.480
He is literally in like this supermanic rush state, and he's just talking to talk, like like nothing is making sense, and I'm like, oh my god, what am I doing?
00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:39.039
So I talked to the lady, my caseworker at the adoption agency, and I'm like, I genuinely don't know.
00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:48.640
I said nothing, I said my doctors have looked at everything on the baby and said everything's fine, but now I'm worried because I don't know how long Pete's been using.
00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:52.960
We've had sex a couple times, like I don't know if that will affect the baby.
00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:56.480
Like, I just like I'm so anxious, so worried.
00:25:56.559 --> 00:25:58.319
And I'm like, and now I'm gonna be alone.
00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:07.119
Like I'm not gonna have anybody there with me at the hospital because like and I wanted him there so bad, but I knew it wouldn't be safe.
00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:25.839
And so I end up the my doctor wanted me to get induced on 7-Eleven, and I end up going in on the 13th, and I get a text from him saying he's got COVID, and I'm like, bull fucking shit.
00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:37.440
I said, You're really gonna miss your son's birth, and it crushed me to read that text that's hearing that he was sick because he had said, Yeah, I'll be there.
00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:38.880
I'll come down.
00:26:39.519 --> 00:26:45.359
And then he didn't.
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:52.160
And I'm laboring, I had some doulas, they were the sweetest women.
00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:57.440
I still keeping a little bit in contact with them, but not much.
00:26:58.960 --> 00:27:16.079
And they ended up saying I had I ended up having this giant contraction shortly after reading his text saying that um Jamie knew his ex-wife knew that I was pregnant and that they were done.
00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:29.279
They didn't want anything to do with me, she wasn't gonna help me, he wasn't gonna be there, and pretty much that he was um picking his kid his kids and his ex-wife over me.
00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:33.759
And so I could say whatever I want, but it wouldn't, it wouldn't change.
00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:44.000
And so uh it just crushed me uh entirely into a million pieces, and I was like, why do I love someone who can't even love me back?
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:56.160
I end up giving birth a few hours later, and I just saw my little boy, and I knew I knew I wanted him.
00:27:56.400 --> 00:28:03.359
I knew there was no way it I would be whole if I gave him up for adoption.
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:05.839
Like I I knew it would crush me to do that.
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:13.359
I knew I could provide for him without his dad, and I knew like it was the best part out of the entire relationship.
00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:18.000
Like something beautiful can't come from something broken kind of idea.
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:21.200
And I decided to keep him.
00:28:21.279 --> 00:28:42.319
I had a lot of um support from a friend and a church that I went to and ended up being gifted a baby shower a couple months after he was born, and we I didn't tell Pete right away that I gave birth and I kept him.
00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:56.640
I think I posted it before I had called him and left him a voicemail, um, which was several days after um when I called him and told him he didn't answer.
00:28:57.279 --> 00:29:04.400
Um and I said it in the voicemail, I don't expect anything from you.
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:06.640
I just thought you should know.
00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:16.880
Like out of respect to our son, I thought you should know he still exists, he's here, and I didn't just ship him off.
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:19.119
I didn't throw him out like garbage.
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:32.400
I didn't just and I know adoption isn't like that, but that so Pete was given up for adoption, and that's how he felt, and that's how he portrayed it, and so that's kind of why I said that.
00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:45.359
Um I ended up taking him to see him a week later, and he fell in love with him.
00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:46.640
Absolutely 100%.
00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:56.799
But the ex-wife had said Um, I don't want him, I don't want Taylor anywhere near or around our kids.
00:29:58.079 --> 00:30:07.599
You guys have a toxic relationship, you guys need to figure some stuff out first before I'll allow you to have them around Kaylin Lane.
00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:09.839
And so I left.
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:15.279
I packed my things, I took my kids, and I went to Huntsville.
00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:33.839
I didn't really talk to him for I want to say three-ish months, three or four months, and he had just kind of done his own thing.
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:39.519
We kind of kept apart, and then I realized I don't know why I'm staying here anymore.
00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:45.599
Like I I don't need to be close to him, I don't want anything to do with him.
00:30:47.279 --> 00:30:54.799
And he begged me to get back together sometime in the fall.
00:30:56.559 --> 00:30:59.200
And I just I couldn't do it.
00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:03.920
I like in the moment I couldn't say yes, but I didn't want to say no either.
00:31:04.240 --> 00:31:08.720
Cause it was like I was holding on to that hope of a perfect family, a perfect picture.
00:31:09.279 --> 00:31:13.599
And it just it wasn't there.
00:31:13.920 --> 00:31:28.640
So over the years we stayed in contact, we got together, we got we broke up, we got together back and forth all the time until the last two years um of our relationship.
00:31:28.799 --> 00:31:33.839
I ended up moving out of my place, moving in with him, his kids.
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:41.519
The kids had met Taylor, and we had seen Jamie in public a couple times.
00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:46.319
She was filled with disgust.
00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:47.440
She hated it.
00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:50.640
And um, I think maybe it was out of jealousy.
00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:52.640
I I don't honestly know.
00:31:52.880 --> 00:31:56.880
At the same time, I don't care that much about her opinion anymore.
00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:11.519
Um, but things were good for the moment, and we decide to take, well, so he ends up proposing, and we're engaged.
00:32:11.759 --> 00:32:17.279
Now he proposed with like silicone rings, so like it wasn't like a true engagement.
00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:27.599
We end up going on family vacation with my parents down to Florida, and we're both using at this point now.
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:36.640
Moving me out of the house, he decided I'm gonna go get some drugs, we're gonna hurry up and bust this out, and it will be great.
00:32:36.799 --> 00:32:40.000
And I'm like, okay, we'll just do it for to move out of this house.
00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:49.759
I don't know what was in them, I have no idea, but I was crashing by day two, and I'm like, this is not normal.
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:54.319
And I'm like, I don't know why we did this, this is the stupidest idea.
00:32:54.559 --> 00:33:01.839
And I thought at that moment, like, I was never, I never cared for drugs, never um that I was addicted to them.
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:04.160
Like it was just something I did with Pete.
00:33:04.480 --> 00:33:26.960
And so I want to say we're in Florida, we're at we're on like day three of our family vacation out of five, and he completely loses it on me because we bought Disney World tickets to go to Disney World with the kids, and I didn't get up to make it special.
00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:36.319
And he's like, and I'm like, at this point, I'm too tired, and he's like, No, you said you were gonna make it special, so go make it special, like go do what you're doing, whatever you're doing.
00:33:36.400 --> 00:33:48.559
And I'm like, okay, and so then he's in the bathroom and he's doing God knows who what and taking his sweet ass time, and I'm like, let's get ready, let's get dressed, let's go.
00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:55.119
And he ends up yelling at me, and my dad hears it, and he's like, What the hell?
00:33:55.359 --> 00:33:56.559
Are you okay?
00:33:57.519 --> 00:34:01.119
And so then I'm like, here, just give me a minute, I'll talk to him.
00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:07.680
And I walk into the bathroom where he's at, and he's like, Can you just give me five fucking minutes?
00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:13.360
And I'm like, It's already 10 o'clock, like the park just opened.
00:34:13.599 --> 00:34:16.079
If we're going, we need to go and go all day.
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:20.079
Like, if this is for the kids, like let's not make a big deal out of this.
00:34:20.320 --> 00:34:25.760
And he's like, I just need to take a shower.
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:29.360
I just need to freaking clean up.
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:33.360
And I'm like, you've been letting the shower run for now, like 20 minutes.
00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:35.039
He's like, No, it hasn't been that long.
00:34:35.119 --> 00:34:36.480
And I said, Yeah, what have you been doing?
00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:38.639
He's like, I've been getting high.
00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:44.320
And I'm like, Lane's come down and knocked on the door four times.
00:34:44.480 --> 00:34:46.239
That's it, was his oldest son.
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:52.000
His daughter had come and knocked down on the door, I don't know how many times.
00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:56.639
I had knocked on it, and it was like, now you're like pushing, you've been in here an hour.
00:34:56.800 --> 00:35:01.840
Like the shower had only been running for 20 minutes, but he had been in the bathroom for an hour.
00:35:02.079 --> 00:35:05.199
And so he completely loses it and pushes me against the wall.
00:35:05.360 --> 00:35:09.760
And he's like, just let me do what I'm doing and we'll go.
00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:15.920
And all these feelings, like, oh fuck, we're back in this place again.
00:35:17.119 --> 00:35:20.480
I thought we were out of here, we were done.
00:35:21.360 --> 00:35:27.280
Shortly after that, we get into this screaming match, and he, I'm like, just go, just fucking go.
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:28.000
He's like, I will.
00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:30.960
I'll take my car and I'll take my kids and I'll fucking go.
00:35:31.679 --> 00:35:41.119
And he goes and ends up talking to my dad, and he's like, Yeah, you said your backyard was always open, so um, let's fight, dude.
00:35:41.360 --> 00:35:47.840
Like, and my dad's like, No, this is not what's gonna go down.
00:35:48.079 --> 00:35:49.199
I don't know who you are.
00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:53.920
I don't know what like you're acting like, but this isn't you.
00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:57.519
You can calm down or you can leave.
00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:04.000
And so he eggs my dad on so much, he's like, Pete, you need to leave now.
00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:06.880
I will call the cops if you don't leave.
00:36:07.679 --> 00:36:20.960
And so he's packing up his stuff, he's yelling at Kaylee and Lane and telling him to get in the car, and he throws this little baggie of drugs at me in the front yard.
00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:25.840
And so I open the trunk and I toss him in the car.
00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:33.360
And I am like yelling at him, I'm losing my mind, and I'm like, just fucking go.
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:41.440
You chose this, you chose to get upset about nothing, and you're literally like, I cannot do this with you anymore.
00:36:41.599 --> 00:36:54.480
You and he's like, Oh, yeah, you chose this, and he steps over his trailer and comes running and charging at me, just punching me and takes me down to the ground, which I do have a video of that.
00:36:54.719 --> 00:37:05.440
Um, and so then he finally drives off and leaves, and shortly after that, he I get text from him.
00:37:05.599 --> 00:37:14.079
I know where the car is because I have like the remote start that shows the location of the car on my phone, and so he ends up checking into a hotel.
00:37:14.800 --> 00:37:18.159
He ends up taking the kids to Disney at like eight o'clock.
00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:48.559
The park closes in like two hours, so it's like a total waste of time, and they go to the wrong park, and it like it they had a terrible experience, and so I end up taking my kids a different day, and I waited for my mom to come back to take them just so I could have help at the park, and we're texting back and forth, and he decides to drive back to Tennessee without me.
00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:52.960
And I'm like, what am I gonna do?
00:37:54.159 --> 00:37:55.440
I need to get a job.
00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:57.119
Am I getting a job here in Florida?
00:37:57.199 --> 00:37:58.960
I don't have a car, I don't have any transportation.
00:37:59.119 --> 00:38:00.400
He has my car.
00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:04.960
I am just panicked at this point.
00:38:05.119 --> 00:38:10.719
So I decide to go back on my or a couple a week before my birthday.
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:18.480
My birthday is July 30th, and so um I go for a job interview and I drive my car back down.
00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:27.440
And I'm with my boys and we're saying, and my mom's like, I think you should apply for some jobs here and see what you know, whatever lands.
00:38:27.519 --> 00:38:29.840
And I said, Yeah, no, I completely agree.
00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:38.239
Um, I'm gonna see wherever I get a job first, and then I'll go and just I'll decide then.
00:38:38.719 --> 00:38:42.400
I ended up getting um a job in Murphy's borough.
00:38:43.119 --> 00:38:51.679
Uh well, it was actually in Franklin, just right outside of Nashville, but I wasn't sure I was gonna take it.
00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:56.960
And so it's now my birthday, and I just kind of wanted a date of myself.
00:38:57.039 --> 00:39:01.360
I really didn't want like a big celebration or anything crazy.
00:39:01.599 --> 00:39:15.519
I'm turning 25, 26, 26, and so I go paddle boarding by myself for the first time in a long time.
00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:29.840
And it was just a day, like I that was something I always really wanted to do down in Florida, and we um had my mom watch the boys, and I get a call from Pete, and he's like, What are you doing?
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:32.800
I'm like getting ready to go, and he's like, Go where?
00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:36.320
And I'm like, I'm gonna go paddleboarding, it's my birthday, like, and then I'll leave.
00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:38.639
And he's like, You're gonna drive on your birthday.
00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:40.320
Why are you going paddle boarding?
00:39:40.400 --> 00:39:43.840
Why weren't you why didn't you leave yesterday so I could take you paddleboarding?
00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:46.960
And get super controlling, super nasty.
00:39:47.119 --> 00:39:51.599
Now, like, this is not the first time he's ruined my birthday, like, this is probably the third.
00:39:51.920 --> 00:39:54.400
Um, and so I just really didn't care.
00:39:54.719 --> 00:39:56.880
I was like, I'm gonna go do what I want to do anyways.
00:39:57.039 --> 00:39:59.119
Like, no, sorry.
00:40:00.159 --> 00:40:14.480
And so I go paddleboarding, had a great day, I get packed up, I go home, I pick up my kids, and I ask my son, hey, do you want to come back with me?
00:40:14.559 --> 00:40:20.320
Or do you, my oldest, or do you want to stay here with my mom, his grandma?
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:22.960
And he's like, No, I want to go with you.
00:40:24.400 --> 00:40:34.800
And so we all drive back to Tennessee, and um we don't get there till the 31st.
00:40:35.360 --> 00:40:41.199
And I know he's gotta pick up his kids from camp, and it's like four o'clock.
00:40:41.519 --> 00:40:44.320
And I'm like, okay, he's not answering.
00:40:44.400 --> 00:40:51.599
He's probably asleep, he's probably working this like getting trying to get clean, detoxing all this crap out of his system.
00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:54.400
I'll get there around five.
00:40:54.480 --> 00:41:01.280
He's got till six to pick him up, so hopefully that will be enough time for him to go and get him.
00:41:01.519 --> 00:41:06.960
Well, as soon as I walk in the door, my kids walk in with me, and he's there.
00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:11.760
I wake him up and he's like, You're not even gonna say hello.
00:41:12.079 --> 00:41:15.440
I'm like, I've been saying hello for like the last 10 minutes.
00:41:15.679 --> 00:41:17.920
Isn't don't you need to go pick up Kaylee and Lane?
00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:19.760
He's like, Yeah, what time is it?
00:41:20.320 --> 00:41:25.280
Um, I'm like, it's 5 15.
00:41:25.440 --> 00:41:27.519
Like, you you need to go.
00:41:28.719 --> 00:41:32.880
And he's like, I'll just call Jamie and have her pick him up.
00:41:33.039 --> 00:41:34.239
Like, I can't today.
00:41:34.480 --> 00:41:35.840
And I'm like, okay.
00:41:36.639 --> 00:41:38.960
And he's like, I don't know why you came back today.
00:41:39.039 --> 00:41:39.920
Like, I'm pissed.
00:41:40.079 --> 00:41:43.280
And he's like, You wouldn't even let me spend your birthday with you.
00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:50.960
And it goes from zero to a hundred in a matter of minutes, and I'm like, oh my fucking god.
00:41:52.239 --> 00:42:17.920
We end up fighting in the bathroom, and then he walks out and goes to the garage, and he's yelling at Grace and telling him your mom's a fucking whore and just saying all these nasty things, and no one loves you, all he has is him, and uh just like completely just brutally verbally attacks this kid, and then comes back and does it to me.
00:42:18.639 --> 00:42:35.440
And at this point, I'm begging him to stop, and I'm sitting on the bathroom um tub and just sitting there like crying, begging him to stop, and I'm just like, I don't know why you're treating me like this.
00:42:35.599 --> 00:42:42.719
Like, and eventually I realized it was a control tactic, like if I can make her feel small, she'll do what I want.
00:42:43.199 --> 00:42:49.280
And so I completely lost all sight of anything reasonable.
00:42:49.679 --> 00:42:56.000
I was already severely depressed, like just from being left in Florida.
00:42:56.239 --> 00:43:12.559
I thought ending my own life would be the answer, and I grabbed some scissors, they were super dull, and now I'm thankful that I didn't go through with it, but I did end up trying to like slice my wrists open, and everything was superficial.
00:43:12.800 --> 00:43:22.400
I I don't think I genuinely wanted to, but then he comes in and sees me doing it, and he's like, What the fuck are you doing?
00:43:22.800 --> 00:43:26.159
And I'm like, I'm done, like I just can't live this life anymore.
00:43:26.639 --> 00:43:28.400
I can't, I can't do this.
00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:37.599
And now he's recording me sitting on the tub crying, and he's egging me on.
00:43:37.760 --> 00:43:44.239
He's he wants a fight, he's trying to get me to hit him, and I'm just like, leave me alone.
00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:59.760
He's like, No, I can't, and so I stand up and I put my um hand and a fist and like motion downwards, and that's where the clip falls off, and he sees.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:09.519
That and he just throws me against the door, and he's hitting me, he's choking me, he's doing everything.
00:44:10.320 --> 00:44:18.079
And then he decides to run outside.
00:44:18.159 --> 00:44:20.559
He takes my purse, he takes my phone.
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:27.039
I'm trying to get my kids in the car, and I'm just like, I'll just leave.
00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:28.639
I'm not doing this.
00:44:29.039 --> 00:44:37.519
And then he ends up running outside chasing me.
00:44:38.800 --> 00:44:40.800
And I'm like, I should have just stayed still.
00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:42.320
I shouldn't have done anything.
00:44:42.480 --> 00:44:44.559
Like, why did I do anything?
00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:47.039
And I've just had like so much guilt.
00:44:47.119 --> 00:44:48.880
Like, I'm like, my kids are watching this again.
00:44:49.039 --> 00:44:50.800
We're like, I don't know why I came back.
00:44:50.960 --> 00:44:52.000
This is the stupidest thing.
00:44:52.239 --> 00:44:59.199
And the like my mom had like some preconceived idea that I would get arrested.
00:44:59.440 --> 00:45:01.039
And sure enough, I did.
00:45:01.920 --> 00:45:05.679
And she says, the kids are gonna end up in foster care if you guys keep fighting.
00:45:05.760 --> 00:45:06.639
Like, please stop.
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:08.880
Like, like, I don't want you to go back just because of that.
00:45:09.039 --> 00:45:10.400
I said, No, things are fine.
00:45:10.559 --> 00:45:14.079
And I I genuinely thought like they would get better.
00:45:15.599 --> 00:45:28.800
So he ends up running around the house a couple times looking for Taylor, grabs Taylor, puts him in his truck.
00:45:29.519 --> 00:45:33.599
Um I'm looking for Taylor.
00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:34.800
I can't find my purse.
00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:36.719
My purse is sitting on the porch.
00:45:37.039 --> 00:45:41.920
I drive literally a block away, and I see a neighbor outside.
00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:45.440
I said, and they they ask me, Do you need help?
00:45:45.679 --> 00:45:46.559
How can I help?
00:45:46.719 --> 00:45:48.000
Like, are you okay?
00:45:48.159 --> 00:45:49.280
What's going on?
00:45:50.320 --> 00:45:54.639
Oh, a lady jogging, and both of them are like, you need to call the police.
00:45:54.800 --> 00:45:55.679
You need to call the police.
00:45:55.760 --> 00:46:15.199
And so before I realized, Pete's driving off with Taylor and the truck, not buckled, because I had his car seats and just completely like speeding, just and so I'm like, he's gone now, so I feel a little bit safer.
00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:16.000
I'll call the police.
00:46:16.079 --> 00:46:20.320
So I call the police, they send ambulance, they tell me I have to go to the hospital.
00:46:20.559 --> 00:46:23.440
I'm at the hospital with Grayson.
00:46:23.599 --> 00:46:26.159
We're waiting for them to bring me Taylor.
00:46:26.559 --> 00:46:36.159
And they bring me Taylor and they tell me, don't do anything stupid, just so you know, we are gonna end up charging you with domestic violence.
00:46:37.360 --> 00:46:43.519
And they hadn't put me in handcuffs, they hadn't done anything, they were just standing outside the doors waiting.
00:46:43.679 --> 00:46:50.239
And as soon as that happened, the doctor stopped treating me like a patient and started treating me like a criminal.
00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:54.719
And I'm like, why am I the one who's getting arrested?
00:46:55.599 --> 00:47:11.679
Well, Pete had told them that I tried to stab him and I tried to um kill myself, and that I initiated the fight, and I had just gotten home.
00:47:12.159 --> 00:47:17.679
And I called my mom while I'm in the hospital, and she's like, Oh my god.
00:47:18.239 --> 00:47:20.800
I said, I need you to fly down today.
00:47:21.119 --> 00:47:23.280
And she's like, I can't.
00:47:23.760 --> 00:47:26.320
Like, there's no more flights today.
00:47:26.960 --> 00:47:28.880
I'll see if I can get there tomorrow.
00:47:29.119 --> 00:47:30.800
I said, I'm going to jail, mom.
00:47:31.119 --> 00:47:32.639
And she's like, What?
00:47:32.880 --> 00:47:34.400
How are you going to jail?
00:47:34.639 --> 00:47:35.760
What what happened?
00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:37.119
And she's asking me.
00:47:37.360 --> 00:47:41.840
And so I ask a friend to come take my kids, and she does.
00:47:42.400 --> 00:47:54.719
DFS gets involved, or going through all these steps, and ends up my case getting completely dismissed, and I get bailed out of jail.
00:47:54.960 --> 00:48:01.360
He gives me my car and some of my belongings, and he ends up apologizing to both me and my mom.
00:48:02.079 --> 00:48:16.320
And he um gave my mom like ten thousand dollars um for my attorney and like flying around and everything.
00:48:17.039 --> 00:48:25.519
And so at that point, my mom's like, I just want to be done in this situation.
00:48:25.599 --> 00:48:27.280
Like, I don't know what life looks like.
00:48:27.599 --> 00:48:41.199
So from the end of August to November, I believe.
00:48:41.519 --> 00:48:46.480
He ends up we ends up co-parenting, keeping things separated.
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:49.679
I'm living in Florida looking for a job.
00:48:50.079 --> 00:48:54.000
Um he's still giving me money, he's still paying for everything.
00:48:54.320 --> 00:48:56.800
He just asked to see Taylor.
00:48:57.039 --> 00:48:59.360
Um, his birthday is in September.
00:48:59.519 --> 00:49:02.880
We went to Great Wolf Lodge for all the kids.
00:49:03.519 --> 00:49:09.679
And we're we met in Atlanta and he took Taylor for a week.
00:49:09.840 --> 00:49:12.960
Um, he ends up buying an engagement ring.
00:49:14.079 --> 00:49:29.599
And then fall break happens, and he's supposed to come to Florida, and instead of coming to Florida, he um there's a hurricane that's coming, passing through.
00:49:29.760 --> 00:49:42.800
And so we end up deciding to go to Dollywood, and everybody in the state of Florida was leaving Florida, like it was we could not leave fast enough.
00:49:43.119 --> 00:49:51.280
We were going maybe 20 miles an hour on the interstate, like it was car to car, bumper to bumper, like no no one was leaving.
00:49:51.599 --> 00:50:12.320
So I'm driving through that for like 14 hours and finally get through through Atlanta, and he needs us there, and then we drove up to Chattanooga and spent the night there, and then we went to Dollywood the next day and stayed there for two days, and then went to school.
00:50:12.559 --> 00:50:28.400
And I mean, Grayson's got school, like he's gotta go back, and he had bought these Benson Boone tickets for us, and it was the following week, and he's like, I was just gonna have you fly up here, but maybe you can go fly Grayson down.
00:50:29.119 --> 00:50:44.960
Well, we end up getting into this argument about it, and he has the engagement ring, and he's acting like he's shown it off, he's showing the kids, he's showing me, and I hadn't I wouldn't look because I was like, That's not how you're gonna propose, and if that's how you're gonna propose and say no.
00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:52.960
Um so I end up getting like this urge to go through as well.
00:50:53.519 --> 00:51:00.159
Now it wasn't like the first time I've gone through it, but it was the first time I felt a genuine urge to do so.
00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:10.480
And he's talking to drug dealers, he's talking to girls, he's talking to guys, he's all over the place, and I'm just like besides myself.
00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:14.239
And I'm like, I can't bring it up, he'll hit me.
00:51:14.880 --> 00:51:19.039
Well, somehow he noticed that I went on his phone.
00:51:19.599 --> 00:51:21.679
And I didn't say anything.
00:51:21.840 --> 00:51:23.039
They said, I don't want to talk about it.
00:51:23.119 --> 00:51:25.599
It's fine, it's your life, it's your phone, it's your shit.
00:51:25.679 --> 00:51:27.360
I don't know why I even looked.
00:51:27.840 --> 00:51:32.480
Um, and he's like, Oh, you you you did look.
00:51:32.639 --> 00:51:34.960
Well, I left it open for you, that's why.
00:51:35.199 --> 00:51:37.119
And I'm like, Well, I was just scared.
00:51:37.360 --> 00:51:42.159
You go through my phone all the time and don't ever find anything, so I didn't think you would care.
00:51:42.480 --> 00:51:45.280
And he's like, Oh, no, I don't care.
00:51:45.519 --> 00:51:46.639
What did you see?
00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:53.199
And he's he's baiting me at this moment, and I'm like, Well, uh, you're just talking to a bunch of random people, random numbers.
00:51:53.360 --> 00:51:59.519
I said, doesn't really seem like much, but honestly, it it it's weird.
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:12.639
Well, I had gone through his pictures as well, and he has a picture that someone else took of him in the bathroom holding his gun completely naked.
00:52:13.920 --> 00:52:18.079
And then the next picture is a picture of a girl I knew.
00:52:21.440 --> 00:52:34.159
And then a couple more pictures of like just new girls, and I'm like, uh but they're like pictures that he downloaded, like from so he's like, What the fuck?
00:52:34.800 --> 00:52:42.079
He can't be loyal, he he can't be faithful, he can't respect me.
00:52:42.320 --> 00:52:43.519
What the fuck am I doing?
00:52:43.760 --> 00:52:46.239
So I decide I'm not gonna go to Benson Boone.
00:52:46.400 --> 00:52:49.679
I'm like, nope, I need some space, and I tell him that.
00:52:49.760 --> 00:52:51.199
I said, I just need some space right now.
00:52:51.360 --> 00:52:55.599
I think I really need to think things through and figure out what the hell we're doing.
00:52:55.920 --> 00:52:59.840
And right now is not the best time for me to come to Benson Boone.
00:52:59.920 --> 00:53:02.000
I said, I suggest you sell the tickets.
00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:07.199
And he's like, No, I'll send you money and you can fly down and we can go together.
00:53:07.440 --> 00:53:09.119
And he's like, get on a plane.
00:53:09.760 --> 00:53:15.119
And the up until the day of I was like, no, I'm not.
00:53:15.599 --> 00:53:28.239
Well, the very next or that night at Benson Boone, he sends me a picture of him and his daughter at Benson Boone, and he's like, Well, we came and I said, I don't know why you're sending me a picture.
00:53:28.400 --> 00:53:29.039
I don't care.
00:53:29.199 --> 00:53:33.119
Like, I'm honestly ready to be done.
00:53:33.519 --> 00:53:38.480
I think how you treated me over the years and I've forgiven and forgiven and forgiven and forgiven.
00:53:38.639 --> 00:53:40.239
And now this is how you treat me.
00:53:40.320 --> 00:53:43.440
I I can't I just can't David.
00:53:43.760 --> 00:53:45.199
I don't know what else you want from me.
00:53:45.280 --> 00:53:46.880
He's like, I just want you to love me.
00:53:47.039 --> 00:53:52.800
And I'm like, Well, I was, and you did this to me, so obviously that doesn't work either.
00:53:54.400 --> 00:54:11.920
So I end up getting into this big fight with my mom and just like in a super toxic head space and not thinking clearly, not really understanding what they were ask what my mom was asking of me, and I'm like, I'm just gonna leave.
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:26.239
So I book a hotel and I tell Pete I'm leaving, and sure enough, he comes and flies down, gets a U-Haul, and we pack up my car, and then he proposes for real this time.
00:54:26.719 --> 00:54:36.880
And um, it wasn't romantic, but it wasn't not romantic either.
00:54:36.960 --> 00:54:46.559
It wasn't like he was he got down on one knee, he asked me to marry him at an airport, like it was okay, I guess.
00:54:46.880 --> 00:55:02.320
But I I said yes in the moment, thinking like, okay, this is what I wanted, and now I'm finally getting it, so like I deserve this, and so all my friends and family are like, what are you doing?
00:55:02.480 --> 00:55:06.239
He's been beating you for years, he's gonna continue to beat you.
00:55:06.559 --> 00:55:08.800
You and him are not a good match.
00:55:09.039 --> 00:55:12.159
Leave him, leave him, leave him, leave him.
00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:14.719
And I'm like, No, things are really good.
00:55:15.119 --> 00:55:24.000
Well, fast forward to December, I find out I'm pregnant, and I didn't know if I was gonna tell Pete right away or not.
00:55:24.559 --> 00:55:44.559
And two days pass, and I find out he's talking to that girl again, and he's pregnant, she's in rehab, whatever, she's looking for help, and they're best friends, and I'm like, Yeah, I don't know what you're gonna do about her, but I honestly don't want to know about it.
00:55:44.639 --> 00:55:49.199
And he's like, Well, she needs to have an abortion, she can't, she already has four kids, she can't have another.
00:55:49.440 --> 00:55:51.280
I'm not helping her out with this.
00:55:51.440 --> 00:55:56.800
And I said, I don't know why you think you would need to help her out, but okay.
00:55:57.519 --> 00:56:23.920
He's like, Well, I just feel bad for her, and I'm like, Again, it's not our problem to take on, like, he had no idea of boundaries, and so he just would give people like anybody, random people, money, just at any given point, and so then at this point, I'm like, What would you say if I was pregnant?
00:56:24.159 --> 00:56:25.599
He's like, Don't joke with me.
00:56:25.679 --> 00:56:27.440
I tell you you get an abortion too.
00:56:27.760 --> 00:56:30.719
We already have four kids, we can't handle another.
00:56:30.880 --> 00:56:42.000
And I'm like, Well, just a couple weeks ago when we got engaged, you asked me for another kid, and he's like, Wait, are you you're not fucking pregnant?
00:56:42.239 --> 00:57:04.800
And he completely loses it on me, chokes me, throws me down to the ground, is punching me in my ribs, punching me in my face, slapping me, just brutally beating me, and I couldn't, I I left, and um then I get a text.
00:57:04.960 --> 00:57:09.519
I need to come get the rest of my shit, and otherwise it's I'll go into the dump.
00:57:09.760 --> 00:57:12.719
And I'm like, okay, well, it was a trap.
00:57:12.880 --> 00:57:20.880
I go to the house and I get there, and um he starts punching me outside.
00:57:20.960 --> 00:57:27.760
I grab the pepper spray to defend myself and get him to stop, and the neighbors call the cops.
00:57:28.159 --> 00:57:33.360
I get arrested again, and I'm like, what the fuck?
00:57:34.079 --> 00:57:36.000
Why am I the one getting arrested?
00:57:36.159 --> 00:57:40.559
Well, I'm the one who got arrested because I returned to the address after I was safe.
00:57:40.880 --> 00:57:45.440
And so I I think that's bullshit.
00:57:45.599 --> 00:58:04.320
I think cops have a hard time doing their job because they knew like I was not the instigator, but because of like just black and white facts, if you were to look on it, look at it, they were the I returned the address after it not being safe.
00:58:04.880 --> 00:58:08.800
And so it looks like I was looking to start a fight.
00:58:09.599 --> 00:58:25.679
And because I was upset when all of this was happening, when I was getting interviewed, everything they had completely screwed at anything I had said because Pete was Pete looked normal.
00:58:26.239 --> 00:58:30.159
And it wasn't that she wasn't angry.
00:58:31.199 --> 00:58:35.280
So I'm in jail for a week.
00:58:37.039 --> 00:58:41.519
And that's what my mom went to help me out when I finally got booked.
00:58:41.679 --> 00:58:48.719
They had decided to do a pregnancy test and see if I was actually pregnant.
00:58:49.199 --> 00:58:54.079
And it came back positive, and that's when it set in.
00:58:55.360 --> 00:58:58.480
And then he ends up apologizing.
00:58:58.639 --> 00:59:01.519
I'm still not talking to him, I'm still not saying anything.
00:59:01.760 --> 00:59:03.599
My mom takes me back to Florida.
00:59:03.760 --> 00:59:05.440
She's like, this is it, Lexi.
00:59:06.159 --> 00:59:09.119
This is we're done helping you after this.
00:59:09.519 --> 00:59:21.920
And I'm like, okay, I am applying for jobs left and right, and it I have court coming up for this stupid domestic violence case against me.
00:59:22.320 --> 00:59:27.599
That I'm like, I have a public defender because I have no job and I can't really rely on Pete.
00:59:27.679 --> 00:59:30.400
And I'm like, I need to figure out my life.
00:59:30.559 --> 00:59:31.519
I really do.
00:59:32.239 --> 00:59:34.000
What the hell am I doing?
00:59:34.320 --> 00:59:42.239
And my mom brings up abortion with um this third pregnancy.
00:59:42.480 --> 00:59:44.079
And I'm like, yeah, no, thanks.
00:59:44.320 --> 00:59:45.599
I understand how you feel.
00:59:45.760 --> 00:59:52.320
She's like, well, it's just gonna be extremely hard for you to raise three kids and you have no savings, you have nothing.
00:59:52.559 --> 00:59:55.360
Like, how do you expect like we can't help you?
00:59:55.920 --> 00:59:59.119
And honestly, I don't know why you want to keep it.
00:59:59.760 --> 01:00:04.400
And I'm like, it feels wrong.
01:00:04.639 --> 01:00:27.920
If it just feels wrong to, and I'm not looking to have a happy family now, I'm not looking to keep Pete around at this point, like it just felt wrong to end a child's life, and so he ends up calling me and I don't answer it because there's a no contact order.
01:00:28.000 --> 01:00:31.360
And I'm like, nope, I'm not getting in trouble this time around.
01:00:31.679 --> 01:00:41.840
He's sending my mom messages, he's sending me messages, he's sending me money with messages on him, he's doing whatever he can to get this case dropped.
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:46.559
And so I go in front of the DA and I tell him plain out.
01:00:46.639 --> 01:00:47.920
I said, he wants me back.
01:00:48.159 --> 01:00:51.119
I said, obviously, I wasn't the aggressor.
01:00:51.280 --> 01:00:59.039
I said, but I hate to put you in this predicament in this time because I don't want to see you again.
01:00:59.199 --> 01:01:06.880
And he's like, I want to see you again, but I can't talk to you um about the case because it's my job to put you in jail.
01:01:07.199 --> 01:01:12.159
And he goes and ends up talking to my public defender.
01:01:12.400 --> 01:01:19.360
My public defender comes back and talks to me, and he tells me, hey, they're willing to give you a deal if you go to rehab.
01:01:19.679 --> 01:01:22.719
And I'm like, okay, I will go.
01:01:22.880 --> 01:01:25.519
I don't, I will go anywhere, I don't care.
01:01:25.760 --> 01:01:36.480
Well, they lift partially of the protective order so that we can talk in text about our son.
01:01:36.880 --> 01:01:43.199
And Pete goes before the judge and says, I still want to know about the pregnancy, like, I want to go to the doctor's appointments, I want to do it all.
01:01:43.280 --> 01:01:44.320
I want to be there.
01:01:44.480 --> 01:01:46.000
Like, please don't.
01:01:46.239 --> 01:01:52.400
The judge said no to that, and but allowed us to text and email back and forth.
01:01:53.119 --> 01:01:56.480
And so he said, fuck the judge.
01:01:57.280 --> 01:02:01.440
And I said, No, we're not gonna do that.
01:02:01.920 --> 01:02:14.000
And so he ends up texting me, telling me that um what was it?
01:02:14.079 --> 01:02:22.639
He he ends up saying, like, hey, like meet me here at this place, like yada yada, like let's grab lunch, let's talk this through.
01:02:22.880 --> 01:02:40.960
And I do, and I meet him there and he gets me into he asks his ex-wife, who was an executive director of a rehab facility in Murphy's borough, to um go and get everything, like go to into my own rehabbing.
01:02:41.280 --> 01:02:49.840
Like, she's like, I don't think Lexi needs drug rehab because she's willing to step away from the drugs even when they're right in front of her.
01:02:50.000 --> 01:02:53.039
Like, that's not what most addicts do.
01:02:53.360 --> 01:03:04.480
I said, I think she has a self-worth um issue where she doesn't value herself and she's looking for that value in everybody else.
01:03:04.639 --> 01:03:11.760
I think she needs more of a mental health rehab than she does a drug rehab.
01:03:12.320 --> 01:03:16.320
And so she recommended probably five or six places.
01:03:16.400 --> 01:03:21.039
I called all of them, end up getting into the bridge to recovery in Kentucky.
01:03:21.360 --> 01:03:35.760
I'm there for a month, and I basically tell them everything I've told you, and gotten to this point, and they're like, you're going to die because of this relationship.
01:03:35.920 --> 01:03:38.079
Like, this relationship will kill you.
01:03:38.960 --> 01:03:40.719
You need to get away.
01:03:41.199 --> 01:03:42.639
You need to start fresh.
01:03:42.880 --> 01:03:46.639
And at this point, I'm like, so can I go into witness protection program?
01:03:46.880 --> 01:03:48.480
Like, how the hell does this work?
01:03:48.639 --> 01:03:50.239
What can I do to change my life?
01:03:50.320 --> 01:03:52.079
Like, how can I get out of it?
01:03:52.320 --> 01:03:56.159
And they're like, I think you just need to stay here longer and we'll figure it out.
01:03:56.239 --> 01:04:03.840
And I'm like, okay, well, I have court on this date, I have this on this date, I've got this, like my kid's birthday, like all of these things coming up.
01:04:03.920 --> 01:04:06.079
Like, this is why we planned it the way we did.
01:04:06.239 --> 01:04:10.239
And then they're like, stop listening to Pete.
01:04:10.400 --> 01:04:12.960
Like, honestly, we're about to take your phone privileges away.
01:04:13.199 --> 01:04:16.320
And I'm like, Well, he's the one who paid for me to come here.
01:04:16.880 --> 01:04:21.760
And my roommate, who's now my best friend, oh, she's the sweetest.
01:04:22.239 --> 01:04:27.920
But she had really like opened my eyes up to like what the treatment was saying.
01:04:28.000 --> 01:04:31.519
It's like, why did you come if you didn't want the help?
01:04:31.760 --> 01:04:38.880
And I'm like, no, you're right, I do want the help, but I just I thought they would help me with my relationship, not tell me to leave it.
01:04:39.039 --> 01:04:42.880
They're like, they are helping you by telling you to leave it because you will die.
01:04:43.440 --> 01:04:48.880
You are naive to think that he's only gonna hit you and you won't die from it.
01:04:49.679 --> 01:04:57.840
And after hearing that, it was like enough for me to think, okay, how can I get out of this situation?
01:04:58.000 --> 01:05:00.320
How can I do this differently?
01:05:01.280 --> 01:05:10.960
And the more I talked about it in like our groups and our settings and stuff, I got more scared, more nervous.
01:05:11.119 --> 01:05:16.159
I was scared to leave, like I genuinely was scared to leave because I had done some research.
01:05:16.239 --> 01:05:18.639
I had heard like that's the scariest thing.
01:05:18.880 --> 01:05:25.599
That's the scariest thing to do is leave because that's when they often will abuse you more.
01:05:25.760 --> 01:05:28.000
They'll come and find you, they'll hurt you even more.
01:05:28.239 --> 01:05:29.440
They may even kill you.
01:05:29.760 --> 01:05:35.280
So I got to that point and I was just ready to be safe.
01:05:35.519 --> 01:05:39.760
And so I slowly stopped talking to him every day.
01:05:40.079 --> 01:05:47.840
I get out of rehab and I meet him to pick up my car, and I said, Hey, I really want to go to this place.
01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:55.679
It's a sober living place, but it's not really sober living, it's more for me to like have some stability.
01:05:55.760 --> 01:05:57.760
He's like, What about our baby?
01:05:58.639 --> 01:05:59.760
Like the one you're growing.
01:06:00.320 --> 01:06:01.039
It's Nashville.
01:06:01.199 --> 01:06:04.079
Like, I'm not driving in Nashville every day to see you.
01:06:04.239 --> 01:06:07.519
And I'm like, no, I just think we need some time apart.
01:06:07.599 --> 01:06:10.480
And I could see, like, he's about to lose it.
01:06:10.559 --> 01:06:15.119
And I'm like, well, I just, I just don't know what else you want to do otherwise.
01:06:15.199 --> 01:06:16.559
Like, can you give me some advice?
01:06:16.639 --> 01:06:19.360
And I fall right back into his trap.
01:06:19.519 --> 01:06:20.559
And I stay put.
01:06:20.880 --> 01:06:22.159
I stay with him.
01:06:22.800 --> 01:06:24.000
I'm with him.
01:06:24.320 --> 01:06:26.559
Things are really good.
01:06:27.360 --> 01:06:33.840
Um until the end of June.
01:06:34.800 --> 01:06:37.760
Or no, it was Taylor's birthday.
01:06:37.840 --> 01:06:39.519
Um, so Taylor's born on the 14th.
01:06:39.679 --> 01:06:44.719
So 1st of July, and I'm due any day with our son, Drew.
01:06:45.440 --> 01:06:50.800
And I walk out to the garage to ask him, hey, are you picking up your kids?
01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:51.840
Do I need to pick them up?
01:06:51.920 --> 01:06:53.599
Like, I'm totally down to do so.
01:06:54.079 --> 01:06:59.679
And before I can even say anything, I see him there and he's chopping lines to do some drugs.
01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:06.559
And I'm like, you swore you promised you'd never touch him again.
01:07:06.880 --> 01:07:07.679
What the fuck?
01:07:07.840 --> 01:07:09.679
He's like, I don't want to talk about it right now.
01:07:09.920 --> 01:07:15.760
So I get in my car and I leave, and I'm just crying the whole way there to pick up the kids.
01:07:16.400 --> 01:07:21.920
And then the next day we're supposed to be going to WWE.
01:07:23.039 --> 01:07:29.760
And I'm like, I don't want to go, but I will go for the kids.
01:07:29.840 --> 01:07:31.119
They would, they're excited about this.
01:07:31.280 --> 01:07:32.079
Let's go.
01:07:32.400 --> 01:07:33.760
Jelly Rolls there.
01:07:33.920 --> 01:07:36.880
There's so many other like big name people there.
01:07:37.039 --> 01:07:38.559
And I'm just like, oh.
01:07:39.199 --> 01:07:44.719
Well, sure enough, it's the abuse is no longer just me, no longer just Grayson.
01:07:44.800 --> 01:07:46.239
It's it's all of the kids.
01:07:46.320 --> 01:07:52.559
And I knew it had all been all of the kids, but I don't think I knew consciously that it had.
01:07:53.280 --> 01:07:58.000
And his daughter won't get dressed, doesn't want to go, is throwing a fit about it.
01:07:58.239 --> 01:08:00.079
And I said, Kaylee, just get dressed.
01:08:00.239 --> 01:08:04.960
So she puts on dirty clothes that were out of her laundry hamper that have stains on them.
01:08:05.039 --> 01:08:08.079
And I'm like, No, you need to put on clean clothes.
01:08:08.159 --> 01:08:08.800
What about this shirt?
01:08:08.880 --> 01:08:09.280
What about this?
01:08:09.360 --> 01:08:10.880
I'm trying to help her pick something.
01:08:11.039 --> 01:08:15.760
And finally, he sees that the boys aren't in the car, everybody else is ready.
01:08:15.920 --> 01:08:16.960
She's not even dressed.
01:08:17.119 --> 01:08:18.880
And what the hell?
01:08:19.840 --> 01:08:25.279
And he knocks on the door, she's got it locked, she's hiding in the bathroom.
01:08:25.600 --> 01:08:33.439
And then he finally busts the door down, grabs her and pins her against the wall, and tells her, You will fucking go.
01:08:33.680 --> 01:08:34.960
You need to get dressed.
01:08:35.039 --> 01:08:36.479
You can change right here.
01:08:36.640 --> 01:08:37.840
I don't care.
01:08:39.199 --> 01:08:40.640
Now go get in the car.
01:08:40.800 --> 01:08:43.359
And to me, it broke my heart.
01:08:43.680 --> 01:08:45.119
So I texted Jamie.
01:08:45.199 --> 01:08:48.479
I said, Hey, I need your help.
01:08:48.640 --> 01:08:50.000
I need you to watch your kids.
01:08:52.159 --> 01:08:54.159
I can't keep everybody safe.
01:08:55.119 --> 01:08:56.880
And I said, we need to talk.
01:08:57.119 --> 01:09:00.720
Taylor's birthday was like the following weekend.
01:09:01.279 --> 01:09:06.800
And sure enough, it didn't fail.
01:09:07.119 --> 01:09:09.680
We end up talking at his birthday.
01:09:10.319 --> 01:09:13.279
And I tell her the truth.
01:09:13.439 --> 01:09:14.960
I said he's on drugs again.
01:09:15.119 --> 01:09:16.399
He completely relapsed.
01:09:16.479 --> 01:09:19.359
I said that I'm not helping him with this this time.
01:09:19.439 --> 01:09:20.880
He needs rehab.
01:09:22.880 --> 01:09:24.079
But I need to leave.
01:09:24.239 --> 01:09:25.039
I need out.
01:09:25.520 --> 01:09:30.239
And I now our relationship with me and Jamie has completely changed.
01:09:30.319 --> 01:09:31.600
Like she's been super helpful.
01:09:31.680 --> 01:09:34.239
She offered to watch our kids when I went into labor.
01:09:34.399 --> 01:09:37.359
She we did Mother's Day, Father's Day, everything together.
01:09:37.680 --> 01:09:42.000
So thought maybe she'd be different this time around.
01:09:42.159 --> 01:09:43.119
I don't, I don't know.
01:09:43.279 --> 01:09:45.199
So she starts looking into spots.
01:09:45.359 --> 01:09:47.279
She's like, I wouldn't do anything right now.
01:09:47.439 --> 01:09:52.720
I genuinely would just try and keep your cool and keep your calm till you can leave.
01:09:52.960 --> 01:09:54.479
And I'm like, okay.
01:09:55.840 --> 01:10:01.199
Um she's like, are you sure you really want to leave this time?
01:10:01.279 --> 01:10:02.079
And I said, yeah.
01:10:02.239 --> 01:10:04.640
I said he'll continue to relapse.
01:10:05.039 --> 01:10:08.000
I I don't, I can't be around it.
01:10:08.159 --> 01:10:10.000
I can't do this anymore.
01:10:10.479 --> 01:10:13.840
And I said, but I want to stay in Tennessee.
01:10:14.079 --> 01:10:17.279
Like, I still want to be here.
01:10:17.520 --> 01:10:19.039
And she's like, okay.
01:10:19.920 --> 01:10:23.359
So we're figuring out a plan.
01:10:23.439 --> 01:10:24.800
We're trying to figure stuff out.
01:10:25.119 --> 01:10:43.279
And I go in for a checkup and find out my blood flow to from the core, like from Drew's cord to back to me, like was getting was at a slower rate.
01:10:43.439 --> 01:10:46.319
So they wanted to induce me that day.
01:10:46.479 --> 01:10:48.560
And I'm like, can you give me two days?
01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:50.239
I don't even have a backpack.
01:10:50.560 --> 01:10:52.880
I have nothing ready.
01:10:53.119 --> 01:10:54.399
Like, please.
01:10:54.560 --> 01:10:58.720
And so he's like, well, let's leave you on the monitor for another hour.
01:10:59.680 --> 01:11:02.720
If it's good, I'll give you one day.
01:11:02.880 --> 01:11:06.560
You need to come back here tomorrow night and we'll have a baby the next day.
01:11:06.800 --> 01:11:08.880
So it's the 22nd now.
01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:12.159
And I give birth to Drew.
01:11:12.720 --> 01:11:16.560
And shortly after, Pete leaves to go get high.
01:11:17.359 --> 01:11:27.600
And Jamie's pushing me through the hospital down to like the little nursery to see Drew.
01:11:28.399 --> 01:11:31.439
And Pete's just off in La La Land.
01:11:31.600 --> 01:11:33.439
Like, not no fucking clue.
01:11:33.520 --> 01:11:37.920
And so her and Tyler said, well, maybe this will finally be the push for him to get clean.
01:11:38.159 --> 01:11:38.720
Hopefully.
01:11:38.800 --> 01:11:40.720
Like his kids fucking need him.
01:11:41.520 --> 01:11:45.840
And he's a good dad when he's sober, when he's attentive, when he pays attention.
01:11:46.000 --> 01:11:48.479
Like he is a genuinely a good dad.
01:11:48.800 --> 01:11:52.239
But he's a terrible father when he's using.
01:11:52.800 --> 01:11:58.800
So for me personally, it's just you, it's so unpredictable.
01:11:59.039 --> 01:12:02.880
It's easier to predict that he's gonna be a bad dad than a good one.
01:12:03.359 --> 01:12:13.119
So shortly after all of that, um we end up losing Drew to Sid's, and I was the only one home.
01:12:13.439 --> 01:12:34.960
Me and my two kids, well, three kids at the time, and I wake up and it's three o'clock in the morning, and it's normally when I would feed him, and he's ice cold, and I start doing CPR, I'm panicking, I'm calling Pete, I'm trying to bring him back, and Pete won't answer, and I'm like, no, like you fucking have to answer.
01:12:35.279 --> 01:12:36.880
And I said, Drew's not breathing.
01:12:36.960 --> 01:12:38.880
And I said, You need to get here, ASAP.
01:12:40.079 --> 01:12:42.159
I hang up, he tells me to call Jamie.
01:12:42.239 --> 01:12:43.600
I call her once, she doesn't answer.
01:12:43.680 --> 01:12:46.239
So then I called 911.
01:12:46.399 --> 01:12:47.439
I said, Fuck it, I don't care.
01:12:47.520 --> 01:12:49.840
Like, I don't care if he's gonna beat me for calling the cops.
01:12:49.920 --> 01:12:54.079
I I cannot be here, do this by myself.
01:12:54.560 --> 01:12:56.880
911 shows up in literally three minutes.
01:12:56.960 --> 01:13:11.520
My oldest goes down and opens the door, and they come up, they're doing CPR, they move him to an ambulance, they're trying to bring him back, and they can't, and so they're out there working on him.
01:13:11.600 --> 01:13:23.680
It's probably been 30, 40 minutes since then till Pete gets there from the time I've called him, and I'm a mess.
01:13:24.000 --> 01:13:30.159
I am scared shitless that they're gonna tell me he died, and deep down I knew it.
01:13:30.319 --> 01:13:34.640
And Jamie comes over, she comes, gets my kids, she takes them to her house.
01:13:34.880 --> 01:13:36.079
They're like, please pray.
01:13:36.159 --> 01:13:39.439
Like they're taking him in the ambulance, like everything's gonna be okay.
01:13:39.680 --> 01:13:41.680
Just keep praying, just keep praying.
01:13:41.920 --> 01:13:49.680
And I'm like, oh my fucking god, what am I gonna do?
01:13:51.520 --> 01:14:24.640
And they come back, and the medical examiner asks if I'm mom and asks Pete if he's dad, and they pronounce him dead, and they tell him he didn't make it, and I can still remember like that moment pretty vividly, and then a week later, Pete completely loses all respect, all of any any ounce of anything good in him, and he's now me every single day.
01:14:25.600 --> 01:14:43.760
Um, then he tells me I killed our kid, and I think I had a black guy every week minus Halloween week from the beginning of October to the end of November.
01:14:44.560 --> 01:14:47.680
I think the earliest one was like the end of September.
01:14:49.039 --> 01:14:54.159
And I just knew I had to leave, and I knew I had to be done this time.
01:14:54.239 --> 01:15:00.079
I knew I could not keep going back, I could not fix him, and I told him, I said, if you don't go to rehab, I'm done.
01:15:00.399 --> 01:15:02.319
And he's like, Are you done?
01:15:02.479 --> 01:15:04.640
That's fine, whatever, I don't care.
01:15:05.039 --> 01:15:05.920
I said, Okay.
01:15:06.640 --> 01:15:11.199
He's like, You won't take Taylor and you won't take the car, and you definitely won't take the ring.
01:15:11.520 --> 01:15:17.520
And I'm like, Oh shit, what do I do now?
01:15:17.680 --> 01:15:26.079
I don't have a car, I don't have any money, and he wants me to leave Taylor behind that over my dead body.
01:15:26.319 --> 01:15:28.479
So he used my son against me.
01:15:29.039 --> 01:15:41.920
Ends up in the end of November, the week of Thanksgiving, he beats the shit out of me over three days.
01:15:43.039 --> 01:15:56.000
And the like the first day, it was really short, it was just an argument, but then the next day, that's when he had been abusive all day, and then the that was Sunday, he had got arrested.
01:15:56.239 --> 01:16:07.119
And um, I think the fear in me is like I didn't want to call police, I did not want to get in trouble.
01:16:07.279 --> 01:16:08.239
I didn't want to get arrested.
01:16:08.319 --> 01:16:10.800
I had already been arrested twice, like at this point.
01:16:11.119 --> 01:16:20.319
So I called my mom for help, and I went out on to the roof of to like get away and stay away from him.
01:16:21.119 --> 01:16:22.960
And the neighbor sees me.
01:16:23.039 --> 01:16:26.079
The there's neighbors across the street who see me.
01:16:26.479 --> 01:16:27.439
They're like, Do you need help?
01:16:27.520 --> 01:16:30.159
And they said, and I'm like, Yes, yes, I do.
01:16:30.560 --> 01:16:34.159
And they're like, Okay, can you get down from the roof?
01:16:34.319 --> 01:16:51.119
And I'm like, No, he's inside, and so then he comes outside, and I've noticed he's broken down the bedroom door, the bathroom door, and is the whole living room is in torn apart, just everything's everywhere.
01:16:51.279 --> 01:16:54.640
And I'm like, oh shit, I'm really gonna die this time.
01:16:55.199 --> 01:17:03.199
Well, sure enough, he um I mean, in that day, he had pulled a gun on me.
01:17:04.159 --> 01:17:05.760
He was gonna shoot down a door.
01:17:06.000 --> 01:17:10.159
I had passed out several times, he had choked me several times, like just all like everything.
01:17:10.239 --> 01:17:12.560
Like I knew I was gonna die that day if I didn't leave.
01:17:13.039 --> 01:17:14.560
And the cops get there.
01:17:14.720 --> 01:17:25.039
I'm sitting right below a window in our bathroom, and I'm just like in the corner of that, and I'm just like, please, please, please get here.
01:17:25.199 --> 01:17:30.720
Please, I get a call from the cops, and they're like, please stay on the phone.
01:17:30.800 --> 01:17:32.079
We need to make sure you're okay.
01:17:33.520 --> 01:17:38.000
I got one of the best police officers I ever could have gotten.
01:17:38.319 --> 01:17:44.239
And she escorted, Pete yelled, he's like, I can talk to you from here in the window.
01:17:44.319 --> 01:17:48.560
And I'm like, She's like, No, you need to come down, you need to come outstairs.
01:17:48.880 --> 01:17:56.319
And so then they took pictures of my face, pictures of the damage on the house, and they arrested him.
01:17:56.560 --> 01:18:01.439
I got transported to the hospital because I had passed out several times.
01:18:01.600 --> 01:18:05.600
I had two black eyes, one was completely swollen shut.
01:18:05.840 --> 01:18:08.479
I had bruises all over my body.
01:18:09.439 --> 01:18:14.399
I I'm surprised I wasn't in more damage.
01:18:14.560 --> 01:18:17.199
Like there was not more damage done to me, I guess.
01:18:17.520 --> 01:18:38.640
And while I'm in the hospital, his ex-wife decides to keep my car keys from me and go into my house and grab her kids' belongings and drive his truck back to her house and then um take fuses out of my car so it wouldn't start.
01:18:39.119 --> 01:18:44.560
They got charged with two her and her boyfriend who did all the stuff to my car.
01:18:44.720 --> 01:18:48.079
They got charged with felonies for vandalism because of it.
01:18:48.800 --> 01:18:59.199
And then after they got arrested and everything, they ended up apologizing to me about it.
01:18:59.439 --> 01:19:01.439
Probably two or three days later.
01:19:01.680 --> 01:19:05.840
Um, I could tell like her boyfriend's apology was more sincere than hers.
01:19:06.000 --> 01:19:11.359
And I could just tell, like, she put herself in a bad position.
01:19:12.079 --> 01:19:22.640
Um, I ended up turning over all my information on her over to her employers and let them know, like, this is who you have working for you.
01:19:22.880 --> 01:19:26.159
They don't hold up to your standards.
01:19:26.399 --> 01:19:38.880
Um, just so you know, like this is they're supposed to be helping people get out of addiction, out of abuse things, and they're not, they're enabling.
01:19:39.359 --> 01:19:42.640
So she didn't lose her job immediately.
01:19:42.800 --> 01:19:57.199
There was some several other things that had happened within the company that made her end up losing her job, but then um the case got completely dismissed.
01:19:57.520 --> 01:20:21.600
So he got charged, or he ended up getting charged with one count of aggravated assault, one charge of domestic violence, and then another charge of um some other type of assault.
01:20:21.680 --> 01:20:23.760
I think it was like reckless endangerment or something.
01:20:23.840 --> 01:20:25.840
I can't I honestly can't remember.
01:20:26.319 --> 01:20:39.359
And then I had to go testify in June, and when I testified, they are adding additional charges rape, um, sexual battery, um, imprisonment.
01:20:40.640 --> 01:20:43.119
I I think there was like seven or eight of them.
01:20:43.279 --> 01:20:48.319
So he's looking at a very hefty sentence if you get sentenced.
01:20:49.119 --> 01:20:57.439
But I won't really know more about any of that until October just because it's still ongoing.
01:20:58.479 --> 01:21:02.079
So yeah, that was like the whole story.
01:21:04.000 --> 01:21:04.720
Oh wow.
01:21:04.880 --> 01:21:09.119
Um, so that's I know it's very long.
01:21:09.520 --> 01:21:11.039
I didn't expect that.
01:21:11.199 --> 01:21:12.720
It was it was a lot of moments.
01:21:12.800 --> 01:21:18.479
I was just like, I don't so first off, I'm sorry you lost your son.
01:21:18.640 --> 01:21:21.600
Um, I know that's um tough.
01:21:22.239 --> 01:21:23.520
I am it is.
01:21:23.680 --> 01:21:25.840
He's been gone for a year now.
01:21:26.560 --> 01:21:44.800
And so we did a memorial for him, we did a funeral, um he looked very much just like me and had my features and he had so much hair, he was so beautiful.
01:21:45.119 --> 01:21:56.399
Um so eventually down the road I have decided that I'll get like a ring made out of his ashes and just kind of be able to honor him that way.
01:21:59.520 --> 01:22:04.640
And so he's in jail as of right now.
01:22:05.199 --> 01:22:09.680
You said I wish no, he's out on bail.
01:22:09.920 --> 01:22:17.359
Um he got arrested and ended up bailing out two weeks later.
01:22:19.279 --> 01:22:29.600
And he does have like an ankle tracking device, and he does um like our kids all eventually went to the same school.
01:22:29.840 --> 01:22:35.920
If I was stubborn enough, like I could have put that as a no-zone, but I was leaving the city anyways.
01:22:36.079 --> 01:23:01.199
I end up moving across the country, and so um if he violates like the protective order and things like that, like he'll get rearrested for that, but um he he gets to do whatever he wants right now, and he's working at a rehab facility.
01:23:01.439 --> 01:23:03.600
He did end up getting treatment.
01:23:04.079 --> 01:23:07.199
Um, I don't know if it was any good.
01:23:07.600 --> 01:23:18.640
He ended up getting a new girlfriend, which my my one concern with that is great if she's the one for him, like awesome.
01:23:20.159 --> 01:23:26.560
But I genuinely think she's in danger more than I do think that they're in a happy, healthy relationship.
01:23:26.960 --> 01:24:06.000
Because how our relationship kind of started and things is he used my vulnerabilities to gain my trust and then eventually exploited him, and so being that she was in that same type of setting, I could I my fear is that he did the same thing, and you know, it's not they always tell me like it's not your job to worry about everybody else, but that was my job for five years was to worry about the kids, to worry about him, to worry about what was going on.
01:24:06.159 --> 01:24:13.760
So it's hard for me not to want to do it for someone else that I don't know because they're so close to him.
01:24:15.039 --> 01:24:21.039
But I I try to just keep my distance and not get uh wrapped up in it.
01:24:21.920 --> 01:24:27.279
Yeah, I could definitely um understand that, and especially since you were in the same situation.
01:24:27.520 --> 01:24:28.720
I had another question.
01:24:29.439 --> 01:24:35.680
Um the mom let the kids live with him.
01:24:38.239 --> 01:24:40.399
And she knew he was on drugs.
01:24:43.119 --> 01:24:48.319
So before they got divorced, he was doing drugs all the time with her.
01:24:48.800 --> 01:25:09.359
Oh she pressed charges against him um for domestic violence with a deadly weapon and was going through all of that, and then they got divorced, and when the divorce finally settled, they were doing um kind of a weird schedule.
01:25:09.439 --> 01:25:17.199
It was like 223, but they it was just hard for the kids to remember like who they're who was picking them up, who was doing what.
01:25:17.760 --> 01:25:30.720
And then over the years, until we got engaged, and before I was the one telling her, hey, he's getting high, she had good I suspicions, but he never flat out told her.
01:25:30.960 --> 01:25:45.119
And so she had notes, I want to say on three or four different accounts that he was using because I would tell her, sometimes out of anger, sometimes just to protect the kids, and she kept sending them.
01:25:45.279 --> 01:25:52.399
Once she got a boyfriend and Tyler, like the one she's with now, she wanted her own, she wanted her time back.
01:25:52.800 --> 01:26:01.760
And I think part of it was fear-driven because he had abused her, and she just never wanted to cross him like that again.
01:26:03.119 --> 01:26:22.560
But I think she also just hated me, and she wanted to help him because the day everything happened, he ended up calling her in the middle of the day and telling her she's trying to leave me, she was talking to her mom, what do I do?
01:26:22.720 --> 01:26:24.239
And she's like, let her leave.
01:26:24.560 --> 01:26:29.920
And then he says, if I let her leave with the way her face looks right now, I'll definitely be getting arrested.
01:26:30.079 --> 01:26:31.680
And she's like, I don't know what to tell you.
01:26:31.920 --> 01:26:36.399
And I don't know if that was her way of trying to help me or if that was her way of helping him.
01:26:36.720 --> 01:26:52.479
I genuinely don't know, but at this point, like what she did after all of that tells me she was never on my side, she was never willing to help me, she was never willing to protect me or my children, let alone her children.
01:26:52.800 --> 01:27:10.399
So it just showed me like be careful who you have around you because she went to my son's funeral, she planned it, she helped, she wrote a eulogy, like she was very close, not just to my kids, but to me.
01:27:10.800 --> 01:27:19.840
She was someone I could ask for advice, she was someone who you know I would send kids updates to, and we'd spend holidays together.
01:27:20.000 --> 01:27:24.720
So it was it to me, it was just seemed very like wow.
01:27:25.680 --> 01:27:29.439
I didn't think you'd get involved.
01:27:29.840 --> 01:27:42.880
Like I if anything, I kind of hoped she'd stay out of it, but she did end up getting involved and that kind of just opened my eyes a little bit to the situation.
01:27:43.119 --> 01:27:44.239
Uh I guess.
01:27:45.920 --> 01:27:51.520
Yeah, and especially if she did all that to your car, she definitely was not on her side.
01:27:52.079 --> 01:27:59.840
Um it's kinda scary that uh you were scared to call the police because you thought you were gonna get arrested again.
01:28:00.560 --> 01:28:03.520
That's kind of a scary feeling to have.
01:28:04.399 --> 01:28:05.279
Oh yeah.
01:28:05.600 --> 01:28:24.880
Well, after being arrested twice, and I think just because I got um literally the best officer, her name's Officer Bennett, and um she knew she was arresting Pete within two minutes of me telling her what happened the day before.
01:28:25.199 --> 01:28:27.760
She said, Go put cuffs on him, put them in a car.
01:28:28.000 --> 01:28:29.840
No, I'm not, I no.
01:28:31.119 --> 01:28:45.600
And so then when they had ambulances and everything come in, I went into full panic mode and started having a panic attack and literally could not breathe and could not think, could not see, and I just was like, get out, everybody, get out.
01:28:45.760 --> 01:28:48.720
And they're like, No, we have to take you to the hospital.
01:28:49.199 --> 01:28:52.319
And I'm like, no, you don't.
01:28:53.199 --> 01:28:56.319
And they're like, Yes, yes, we do.
01:28:56.560 --> 01:28:57.680
You're not safe.
01:28:57.840 --> 01:28:59.520
And I'm like, please don't take me to the hospital.
01:28:59.600 --> 01:29:00.640
Please don't take me to the hospital.
01:29:00.720 --> 01:29:01.520
You're gonna arrest me there.
01:29:01.600 --> 01:29:04.319
And she's like, I promise you, I will not arrest you.
01:29:04.560 --> 01:29:08.479
And I was like, Okay, I'll go then.
01:29:08.880 --> 01:29:12.079
She's like, He's in cuffs, he's in the back of a car.
01:29:12.399 --> 01:29:15.920
Well, while he's back there, he's telling them I'm on drugs and I'm doing this and that.
01:29:16.079 --> 01:29:25.520
And um, he had some old photos of me using drugs, and he showed them to them, and they're like, if we do a drug test on you, are you gonna pop?
01:29:25.600 --> 01:29:29.920
And I'm like, No, I've been clean for a really long time.
01:29:30.239 --> 01:29:30.560
No.
01:29:31.039 --> 01:29:33.600
And they're like, Okay.
01:29:34.560 --> 01:29:44.079
And they believed it enough that they knew like he was just trying to like get out of trouble, like that they were arresting the wrong person.
01:29:44.319 --> 01:29:49.760
And that's how Jamie ended up getting my keys, is because he gave them to her when he got arrested.
01:29:49.840 --> 01:29:52.399
He's like, I need to give these keys to my ex-wife.
01:29:53.840 --> 01:30:00.640
And so I think it was just like it it truly is.
01:30:00.720 --> 01:30:04.079
I think it was just lucky that I got a good cop.
01:30:04.640 --> 01:30:15.199
Like I got a good one that actually understood and actually believed and like knew who was the victim and who was the aggressor.
01:30:15.359 --> 01:30:38.399
And unfortunately in Tennessee, they only arrest the aggressor, so that's why I got a like I got arrested those other two times, is because I was the one who arrived at the house, and they're like, it comes down to that, and I'm like, why would I come here and start a fight?
01:30:38.720 --> 01:30:40.479
Like that doesn't make sense.
01:30:40.960 --> 01:30:43.039
Also, I'm half the size of him.
01:30:44.319 --> 01:30:46.560
Can we look at logic here?
01:30:46.800 --> 01:30:52.079
Not just black and white, she arrived and she started a fight because that doesn't make sense.
01:30:54.479 --> 01:31:01.439
But sometimes there are women who beat men, so I guess it just depends.
01:31:02.159 --> 01:31:08.239
Yeah, every situation is different, but I think yeah, you going to jail.
01:31:08.319 --> 01:31:10.880
That was that was definitely crazy.
01:31:11.119 --> 01:31:15.359
Um I'm sure I had more questions, but I can't think of them.
01:31:15.680 --> 01:31:20.239
If anybody if anybody wants to contact you, how can they contact you?
01:31:21.520 --> 01:31:23.920
Um, I'm on TikTok a lot.
01:31:24.079 --> 01:31:26.960
Um, my username's Lex Hot.
01:31:27.279 --> 01:31:31.520
Um, so L-E-X-H-A-U-T or Facebook.
01:31:31.840 --> 01:31:33.600
I'm on those two the most.
01:31:33.840 --> 01:31:36.800
Um, my Facebook name is Lexus Hotle Up.
01:31:37.439 --> 01:31:40.479
Um, but my messages are always open.
01:31:40.720 --> 01:31:49.039
Um I don't like this is the first time really going fully public with my story.
01:31:49.279 --> 01:31:51.279
So I've shared tidbits of it.
01:31:51.359 --> 01:32:07.119
I've shared like um like what abuse looks like kind of situations, like what depression looks like, things like that, what PTSD, C um, C PTSD and stuff like that.
01:32:07.439 --> 01:32:16.880
But I'm always open to like just listen and be there for someone because had people not been there for me, I don't think I would have left.
01:32:17.039 --> 01:32:20.399
I I don't think I would have been able to get out of that.
01:32:20.880 --> 01:32:24.640
And I will say my life has completely changed since then.
01:32:24.960 --> 01:32:35.279
I have my own house, my kids have a routine, they are be what better behave, they're thriving where they're at, they're learning new things.
01:32:35.520 --> 01:32:38.079
We get to go on vacation every other month.
01:32:38.239 --> 01:32:45.680
Like we just we have a better opportunity being away from all of that.
01:32:48.319 --> 01:32:50.239
That is amazing.
01:32:50.800 --> 01:32:53.439
And um, I want to say thank you again.
01:32:54.399 --> 01:32:57.279
And I know this was your first podcast, we talked about it.
01:32:57.680 --> 01:33:00.399
So thank you for trusting my platform.
01:33:01.199 --> 01:33:03.119
You know, thank you for trusting me.
01:33:04.720 --> 01:33:06.079
Well, thank you for asking me.
01:33:08.239 --> 01:33:10.560
And I guess that's it.
01:33:10.720 --> 01:33:13.199
Um SDK family.
01:33:13.520 --> 01:33:16.159
I will see you guys next Wednesday.
01:33:24.960 --> 01:33:29.199
Yo, it's ash on the mic, we out.
01:33:29.279 --> 01:33:29.840
That's the end.
01:33:30.159 --> 01:33:32.560
If you felt this one, hit that telephone.
01:33:32.880 --> 01:33:38.159
Thanks for riding with me every take every dance to you next Wednesday, SDK fan.
01:33:38.479 --> 01:33:44.000
See you next Wednesday, talk in again, ash on your air with talking on my friends.
01:33:44.319 --> 01:33:46.560
Thank you for the day we're dancing.
01:33:46.720 --> 01:33:49.520
See you next Wednesday, SDK fan.