The problem with us humans is that we always want to know our destination

The problem with us humans is that we always want to know our destination. And we find it very, very hard to go putting one foot in front of the other without knowing exactly where we’re supposed to end up. And why that’s a problem is because you actually can’t. You don’t know all the steps until you’re taking them, right?

So it’s absolutely awesome to have an end dream in mind, but to try and get everything controlled and locked up neat and tight before taking a first step is where we lose energy and we don’t actually let magic unfold. I am living inside of that right now.

Ended an 11 year relationship, sold my house, and then I was in the town that I had been living in, house was sold. I thought, well, before I leave town, I’m just going to get my energy back. I was exhausted after packing up. The whole house, putting it all into storage, going through the process of separation. I mean, freaking, oh my God, exhausted.

So I was like, okay, I’ll spend a few days to recoup my energy. I’m going to stay with some friends before leaving town and just enjoy being down here before leaving. And at first that was all good.

And then what I started to notice is that I didn’t really want to leave town because I didn’t know how everything would unfold over the next couple of months.

All of my stuff is in storage. I know ultimately that I’m going to live in the Coromandel area of New Zealand, which is moving from the South Island to the North. And I know that I need somewhere to land before I buy a house. I need to be somewhere. So those are my desires, right?

So if I’m tuning into what I want... And I know what I want in that time. I don’t just want any old place. I need to be somewhere where I feel this beautiful creative energy and I can start to get back into who the hell I am and be deep in my spiritual self and let my next evolution of my work unfold as well because that’s super important to me. And it’s also in a transition point.

Life has a lot of transition points for me right now, a lot of endings, which is also the bardo of the in-between and then the new beginnings. But right now there’s a lot of bardo in-between and learning to rest in the in-between and surrender to the unknown has been a beautiful and scary and challenging process for me of the past year. And so much fucking magic, which is why I want to talk about it.

So I finally was like, okay, I’m ready to leave town. I booked the ferry and then I got sick. Then I got the flu for four days and ended up not being able to change the ferry because it was just all booked out. So I had to drive, which meant I had to just leave Wanaka. I had to just leave the comfort zone.

Leaving the comfort and the security of my friend’s house where she had given me my own bedroom and was super welcoming and just like stay, stay, stay. You know, no pressure from her to leave and I had to sail off into the unknown and I just had so much fear coming up, so much fear and worries, so much overthinking and Trying desperately to feel secure as to know where I’m going.

Wanting an amazing house already to buy. I just wanted to buy right now so I could just move it. Or somewhere to rent but not really wanting to spend a lot of money on rent in between. I don’t want to spend all my house money to buy a house on renting. So a house sit, but then I was like, wow, I’ve got a dog, no one’s going to let me house sit. So many things.

I finally just got more clarity around the fact that it was my fears and worries getting in the way and actually everything is going to turn out beautifully as long as I just fucking got on with it. So I did.

I launched myself out to the unknown. Me, my dog, in my car. My car ram jammed with everything that I might need for the next six months or hopefully what I can make do with for the next six months before I own a house and can get all my belongings delivered out of storage.

So yeah, I launched into the unknown and then it’s real interesting. So what happened first is I had a call with my sister. I was talking to her about the fact I’m about to leave Wanaka, and also that my new beautiful partner that is going to come with me,

He has got one six weeks left in New Zealand. I really want to spend it with him before he takes off back to Sweden. Another surrender story coming your way at a later date.

I shared with her that he’s coming with me and we need somewhere to stay. A place that feels good. And sure, I can go to my mum and dad’s house, but that just doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel sexy. It doesn’t feel free. Just not right. Like every part of my body is like, oh no, that’s just not right. It’s not the space to be in. It’s not an empowering space for me and him. And yeah, it’s just too crammed with my mum and dad. Even though they have a little cabin off to the side of their house, it’s not self-contained. It’s just a bedroom. So yeah, everything in me was just screaming no to that.

But I also don’t want to push him away, which is my other option. Pushing him away and saying, you go do you, I’ll do me. I don’t have a fucking clue. I haven’t got my shit together. I can’t do this together. This is too hard. Just looking after me is hard enough. All of these things screaming out at me.

Then through this conversation with my sister she offered up this option. So I grew up in a community in New Zealand. And on this big bit of land, there’s a cabin down by the river. It’s called the Almond Hut. It’s super beautiful. And there’s probably nobody there because it’s going into winter or autumn, autumn-winter time. I was like, that’s amazing. What a fucking good idea. So my plan was to start inquiring about that.

Then another day later, through surrendering to that, another idea came to my mind. I have an even better option. And speaking with my mum this morning, the couple whose names popped into my mind yesterday, they are going away for six months, she tells me. So, yeah, our intuition, this instinctual and intuitive hits we get towards things let one thing unfold at a time. Let’s see what happens. But it looks like everything is falling into place, in a better than you could ever imagine way. And all it took was me to launch myself off into the unknown.

It’s scary. There’s no doubt about it. When things end, I’m the sort of person who wants to hold on and stay longer than I should with a relationship. I like the security. I like the familiar. It’s just who I am to be dependable in that way, to really work things out, which I do feel sad that my ex wasn’t that person.

But at the same time, I now really feel like my life is going to be better than ever before. So I can both grieve the old and lean into the new without having a sense of regret, thinking if only it had been different.

This is the way it was. This is the way it is. This is what happened. This is what’s happening now. And I do feel this real sense of my life is going to be better than ever before.

I’m going to keep tracking and talking and sharing about this process, about being in the in-between and surrendering into the unknown and all that it takes in order to do that.

Nina

Riding the Wild Unknown on 14th April 2026, Nina the day she left her town of 9-years and flew off into the next phase of the unknown