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Welcome to released the podcast. I'm Talmage Thayne, the host. Today I was able to interview Terry Bailey. He was born at an extremely young age. He was born in Mexico. In high school, his junior year he took state in soccer. He then served a mission in the Madrid Spain mission.
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Currently, he is working as a real estate agent. And he's married to a beautiful wife and has an adorable baby girl, and he can grow some decent facial hair. Terry is one of my oldest friends, so I was really excited to interview him.
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Go, Terry, thank you so much for letting me interview you. This is actually our second take.
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Because no, I'm not gonna say
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you didn't like my first take. That's fine. You can say no,
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Terry did great.
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I just, I don't know. I wasn't on my game. And so I was just like, hey, Terry, for my sake.
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Can we do another take? I just don't want to break this whole.
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Shake and Bake. Okay. Anyway. So Terry, just like, give you guys a background. I know you guys already heard his bio. But Terry has been my best friend. Since I was in eighth grade.
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I was taller than you then. Yeah, record.
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He's taller than me crazy. But yeah, and so yeah, we've been friends. Ever since then. It's just been so fun. But Terry, tell me just a little bit about your life growing up the mentality that you kind of had and what your parents kind of instilled in you. And just tell me a little bit about your background.
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Yeah, for this audience, I think we're talking a little more of right, I grew up my dad went on a mission. My mom went on a mission My mom was a convert. She was She learned about the church when she was like, 14 I didn't know my mom's probably the greatest person in the world. In addition to my wife, but, you know, I really good family growing up I just just a happy guy. I mean, happy guy. My mom and dad definitely taught us how to work hard. My mom's from Mexico. We moved here when I was like four years old.
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Have a bunch of siblings.
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There's like five, I've like five siblings. And yeah, I mean, I don't know what else you want to know. But yeah, Howard, but about us.
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I guess. How were you raised? What were some of the things your parents taught you when growing up? That kind of made you who you are today.
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You know, the one thing this is kind of my my parents thing was they were they're pretty much like, hey, you know, if you want something go out and get it. So I remember I was probably like, eight or nine after I was about nine years old. I started buying like my own clothes. And we could my dad owns a bunch of real estate properties. And he'd send us out with his with his handyman to learn how to do the repairs and to work and do do that stuff.
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And then yeah, and then like we'd mow lawns, and then I started getting my own lawns because my dad was only paying us like $1 an hour. He paid for a room and board so it was fine.
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But he did he had he had already bought lawn mowers and weed whackers and I was really good at edging lawns. So I started mowing lawns and that's how I had money and I liked at that point I liked fancier clothes and then what I do now so I did spend a little more money and get a little nicer clothes and
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and he's always dressed classy at school. Yeah bang for or just a jersey.
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Soccer Jersey
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has Soccer Soccer jersey or nice poles. But But yeah, you know, I know that was a big thing for me. It's just go out there and if you want something go out and get it. But they never bought us phones.
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They didn't buy us. Me a lot of fancy things. I usually paid for my own soccer teams and my soccer jerseys and summer camps and all those things is they'd helped me find a way to make that money if I needed to but it was mostly you know what if you want to go out there and get it and and that was the It's kind of the attitude that I was raised with and, and I'm in retrospect, I'm very happy about it. I mean, back when I was like, Hey, I have to work 20 hours just to pay for this sound summer camp, but like, all my other friends, their parents are just paying for it. So, but in retrospect, I'm very grateful for it. Yeah,
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I remember, I was talking to Terry and just like learning about him when we're in school, and I was talking to Mitchell. And I was just like, I thought we were independent, which we looking back, we weren't like crazy independent. Like we worked pretty hard. We milked cows and everything. But then looking at the Bailey's Dang, Terry bought his own car, like you were 16 when you bought your first car, right?
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Has fit you and I bought my first car, but I don't know if I really call that one we call.
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And so yeah, they flew. They flew us out of the water for sure.
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I don't know if that's true or independent. But is it was fun. I had a great childhood. Lots of lots of good memories hanging out with my family and my friends. And I, I mean, I wish I could say I had a little more of a sad story, but it's just I had a great childhood. Lots of fun.
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One of the things that impressed you or impressed my parents about you.
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And like just all the Bailey's basically, was the extreme worth work ethic, which my dad absolutely loves. We took were me, my dad, and my brother, we were going out to the farm. And we had a pig farm back in the day. And me and my brother were like, Hey, can Paul and Terry come? And my dad's like, No, we're not going to bring your friends. You guys are just gonna goof off the whole time not get any work done. And that won't be helpful at all right? No, we promise they'll work we promise.
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And so they come out. And my dad ended up liking Paul and Terry better than me. And he was just so impressed with their work ethic.
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Like parliamo. So brown nose.
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Oh, and so good.
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But yeah. Okay, and then kind of going from there. Now that everybody kind of knows about you a little bit. Um, then you got called to Spain for your mission? Could you tell me a little bit about that?
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Yeah, well, you gotta call the call to go hold the spin. Yeah, you know, honestly, is the best mission in the world was where I was called. And everyone has their opinions. But mine. I am happy to compare data points. Mine was by far the best mission in the world. I already spoke Spanish growing up. So yeah, is nice and fun and very excited to go out.
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I was as a super super pumped. I never, I never remember. When I well, I remember getting dropped off at the MTC and I know everyone has their, their feelings there. My family was there. And you know, I kind of hugged them. I was the third kid to go out for my mission. But no, no one was crying. Everyone was just like I see you later. I was like I see it. But like, it was pretty. It's pretty nonchalant for me being dropped off. I know. Some folks have a more emotional experience there.
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And I grew up like 10 in Orem, maybe like five or 10 minutes away from the MTC and I went to the MTC in Provo, so yeah, the MTC was like a cool like, I felt like I was at a summer camp and wasn't learning a new language is just hanging out with a bunch of Latin guys who I thought were super funny. My my MTC crew shout out to any of you guys do watch it. But I had tons of fun with those guys. They were they were who? But yeah, I mean, the MTC was great. And then we went out route, went out to Spain and, and got started there. And there's an amazing experience.
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That's great.
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And I wrote Terry, we wrote back and forth every once in a while when he was on his mission. And then later when I was on my mission, and I'm going throughout your mission, something happened at the end or something potentially made a potential blessing for you in the future happened. What was that?
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I don't know. I think you're alluding to I think you're alluding to me meeting my wife. Yeah. I met my wife on a mission my last month there.
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Meet the Mormons. The movie had come out probably a year ago.
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And throughout our mission, we had like a kickoff for meet the Mormons and be introduced to to the community The church isn't as big and isn't as strong as in Spain is it isn't a lot of other countries. Honestly, the church hasn't been there that long. And in Spain is kind of an interesting place, they had a dictatorship for a long time, that pretty much forced everyone to be of one religion. So a lot of the folks there are very, very strong in that religion.
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And then a lot of folks are just totally against religion in general, just because they have that, hey, we were forced to being in a religion. And now we're just not having it with any religion. So the church was never I mean, it's just not very big in Spain. So there's a lot of, we were working a lot of outreach to, to be have the church a little more normalized there. So we had this meet the Mormons activity. And that's where I met my wife. My grandparents have done a lot of genealogy. So I'm pretty sure she was just impressed that I had a couple lines that went back to Adam. She's just like, wow, I wouldn't have to my didn't genealogy work there. So she's excited about that, right.
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Genealogy is the key. But so do you want to go in deeper of how I so we met?
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Yeah, I think I think people would love to hear this. It's honestly one of the cutest stories ever. And so
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yeah, so we met at that activity. And I checked off my wife at this point, her she wasn't a member of the church.
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Her cousin was is a little less active member. But a great lady.
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And, and yeah, we met there. My wife had this this nose piercing on her. Yeah, in your nose. It was kind of like those, those bowl piercings. She's not gonna be happy about me saying it that way. But that's what it was. And but yeah, I remember her, her walking in to that portion that I was talking about in genealogy. And in Spain, you, you say bye bye, like giving a kiss and whatnot. And the church is very new to her. And so we were talking a little at the end. The sisters had been teaching her and her mom, mostly her mom. And then they'd kind of stopped, they'd lived a little further out. And anyway, before we even had this in our correlation, meaning correlation know, what's the correlation is what we call the in Spain.
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correlation with the with the
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district, or zoning years or
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No, with your ward mission leader. Oh, yeah. We can't really correlate and maybe
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correlation coordination meeting be called at both. Yeah,
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whatever is called right. We had that meeting. And the sisters are like, Oh, hey, Christina, which is now my mother in law. She like, oh, we haven't had great success, visiting them and whatnot. Like maybe maybe it'll work out better with you guys. Right. So a lot of times with the sisters, we would do that we've kind of, if we weren't doing super well, we would hand them over the sisters. If they weren't doing super well, they'd hand them over to us just to see if, you know, for whatever reason, personalities linked better. So we did. And then I was like, Oh, cool. So we met and then we set up a time to go and visit them.
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Christina, she's like, Oh, I really want you to teach my son Brian, who's now my brother in law. He's twins with my wife. So we met some time a couple of times got along super well, we had a fourth of July celebration. This was about a week before I was going to go home. And we played volleyball on the Fourth of July. We got to get into our district. They came over had some a couple other members come over. And I was making hamburgers.
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And but you're vegetarian?
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Yeah. But I will put them in burger. And then yeah, we met there had a good time. The one thing that was that didn't impress me about her. While I was on a mission, we didn't have a whole lot of contact. I mean, we probably saw each other three or four times before I left. But that day, a lot of the other missionaries that were there they left and almost all the other members left. And we're saying oh hey, we'll see you guys later. And then her and her mom were like, Hey, do you need us to drop you off anywhere? We said no, we're good. I'm gonna stay in clean.
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We're gonna stay in clean, right? And so it was me and my companion and I think one other set of missionaries and and they're like, oh, cool, we'll help you clean so they stayed and helped clean for like an hour and a half, two hours after the fact which was impressive to me and she was out there.
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Cleaning the whole time. She wasn't like chatting with other people like A lot of other folks were. And her brother was just just shooting the breeze and he's working super hard. So that was something that was impressive to me before the fact. But then, yeah, then we came home. I didn't think too much of it. To be honest, I was reconnecting with a lot of folks from my mission. Because when we were out there, we were unable to keep super close touch. So it was really good to reach out and talk to them. And I added her on Facebook, and she didn't add me back. Oh, yeah. Like a week, then. But anyway, but then I was like, Oh, cool. Well, I'll call and talk to their family. And then I was gonna call and talk to their family and just talk to her for for like, an hour. And then I was like, wow, like she, she hasn't told me to deliver alone yet. So I'm like, hey, what if I, what if I call you tomorrow? And she's like, Yeah, hey, you can call me tomorrow.
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And then I called her the next day. And I was like, whoa, what if I call you tomorrow? Again?
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We kept talking, started catching feelings.
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Yeah, yeah. So we talked every day for like three months. And then I went, I was like, Well, I like I liked this girl. I was poor is all good.
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Get out like the I was just poor. As far as starting up college, I was doing some landscaping work with my buddy Connor. And yeah, then I saved like every penny that I spent spent it all to go out there.
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And then yeah, then we we hung out in person. I really liked her. And for whatever reason, she was okay with me. So. So we hung out there for a few weeks, and then came back home, did long distance for another three or four months. And then she came out here to study English.
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And then dal kept dating. And then probably six months after she was here, 789 months after she got here. Then we got married. And yeah, now we're married, been married. Almost three years have a one and a half year old little girl.
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She's the cutest thing you guys will ever see.
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She she really is.
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I'm obviously biased, but her eyes are absolutely. I don't know, the cutest thing that I've ever seen. I was telling Talmage before we started the podcast, and this is this is kind of a perspective thing for me. I've been doing pretty well in our business lately, and we've been having some success and we're happy and things are going well.
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But just the happiest moments for me, is when I come home and after usually working pretty long hours and my daughter is still there, but I opened the door and she's just throwing something on the ground or making a mess or whatever, but she'll stop doing whatever she's doing. Look at me, and just like run over and hug me and and that's that's just like the best thing in the whole world. It's it's that and then just hanging out with with my wife and my little girl. Nothing better.
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That's so cute.
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Oh, my goodness. Terry's too modest to say this, but his story is like one of the cutest love stories ever. And, and Terry's also too modest to say that. She's like, silly and it's just okay with him. That's what he says. But
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she's out of my league. She's way out of my league. So just just saying she's okay with me was was a big step.
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Oh, man, she got a good one. And he got a good one, too. She's amazing. I remember when I first came home, they were you guys were dating.
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And I got off the escalator hugged everybody. And I saw you with Cillian. And she came up and gave me a hug. And she's like, I've heard so much about you in her broken English. And like right away. I just loved cilia and she's just such an amazing person. And so you guys like fit so well together. And they're the cutest couple
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to know my wife.
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My wife's an absolutely amazing.
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I don't want to start talking about her because then this podcast will last like three or four hours. I'm just gonna say she's she's an awesome woman and she's way out of my league.
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She is great.
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Well, I guess going back to when you first got home from your mission. Could you tell me about some of the challenges that I guess you were facing? And kind of what you did with that?
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Yeah, so this is something I've learned that I really liked. study and I like to learn as much as I can. But where a lot of unhappiness takes place in our lives, is when our lives don't align with our expectations. Right? So and I'm sure all of us can see that at one point or another, if we've gone out on missions you've seen people in, in very different demographics, right? So very, some folks were very poor. Some folks were very rich, and happiness doesn't align with $1 amount, right? But it does a lot of times align with your expectations. So my expectations when I came home was, I had almost been licensed in real estate. When I left on my mission. I didn't pass the test by like, literally, it was literally one question, it was by half a percentage that I didn't pass. So I had to come back and retake all the tests and redo all that. And I wasn't super excited about that, and wasn't sure I wanted to continue doing real estate. My plan was, I mean, when I talked to my mission president about is like, Hey, I'm going to come back to real estate, do college. double down on both of those work hard graduate college, maybe you do real estate? If not, I'll for sure do real estate investing, and I'll have another career.
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And then when I'm maybe 25, I'll probably get married around then. And that was that was kind of that's kind of my plan, you know. And then meeting my woman to be wife, like, threw everything out of whack. That one was very happy.
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Happy accident.
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Yeah. Bob Ross moments.
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Yeah, definitely.
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So it didn't line up with my expectations. But as as happy about it. I remember right when I came home TOF, which is one of our really good friends. He, he we just were really, really close on a lot of things. Just I'm just a couple of days older than he is he came back from his mission just a couple of days before I did. We both moved to a new school, our senior year plates out anyway, we just like lineup, and a lot of things like in a weird way. So he came back.
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He had been back home, like two weeks, and he seemed like a veteran to me. I was like, oh, what's it like, man? What's the reintegration process and he's like, man, like, let me tell you. He knew he knew everything.
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And he was like, he's doing some landscape work or something like that. And anyway, it's just, it's just, it's funny looking back at it, because, to me that two weeks of him being home before I was he was he was a straight veteran. He knew everything, man. But anyway, back back to meeting our expectations, I think a lot of times, it's it's the lack of meaning that expectation that that creates kind of this dissonance between ourselves internally, because we're thinking, okay, you know, well, I'm gonna come home and life is gonna be easy, or I'm gonna follow this, this set plan and it's going to be great. And, and like, it's just never, that never happens, right? Never happens. Exactly what how we're planning on it. But it's, I think it's a big thing is setting the expectation that you're not going to know exactly how things are going to play out, is a big thing. That helps.
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That was one of the things that that I had read. And one of the big things that helps in marriage as well. Is everyone expects, hey, when I'm married, you know, I'm going to come home, I'm going to work and work is going to be awesome. And everyone's gonna love me at work. And then I'm gonna come home and like, my wife's gonna be there and she's gonna have dinner on the table in my one and a half year old daughter is going to be clean. Her face isn't going to be messy, she isn't going to throw water on the floor. And like, you know, we're going to eat and then we're all going to sit down and maybe watch some TV and go to bed and we're all like that.
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It's just like, that's kind of what we think life is or like how our expectation is, but really like you come home and like my wife has been working on, on her schooling all day.
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And my daughter's messy and she has been throwing stuff on the ground and she's been fasci She's like, drew on the walls or, or whatever she's doing right or she's, she drew on her face with permanent marker. And then, like, there's no food and there's dishes and you come home and work wasn't what you expected it to be. So you come back and you're like, oh my gosh, like this is not what I expected. Right? But it's like that is the right expectation.
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So it's, I go in and I whip up a good old with grilled cheese sandwich or PB and J I, that I make some food for my daughter, change her diaper. Try to clean up a little bit, sometimes I'm just tired of and my wife still doing homework and it's just like, you know life isn't exactly what you expect. And the more our expectation is, you know, life's going to be hard and it's going to be weird, then it's easier to be happy about it. Not saying that you set low expectations for your life. But just set realistic expectations and be ready for life to take its many turns.
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Yeah, when you were talking about that made me think of, I had the same experience where I just had like, totally different expectations. And when they didn't align with reality, reality, I like it threw me for a loop. And I think a lot of it comes down to like, having that faith, not faith that your plans are going to work out. But faith that things are going to work out faith that God's plan is going to work out whatever it is. And that way, like, you can be like adaptive to whatever situation. I know, that was a big thing for me to learn.
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Because if things didn't go the way I had planned, I just be like, oh, man, like, what's the point? And like, dramatic in everything. And so Terry is somebody that I've found is very adaptive, to those circumstances. You had an experience starting a company, or an app that didn't actually turn out? Wow. And how was that like, because you had an expectation of starting something really great. And you had a great vision, and you started putting things in place and planning on it. But it just didn't turn out? What was that like?
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You know, pretty crappy. To be honest, it's but in retrospect, I learned I learned a lot from it. This is I'll tell you guys, the app idea if any of you guys want to go out there and do I'd love to see it happen. There's a so is a social media referral platform designed to help kind of kick give kickbacks to to say, hey, you know, you really like working with whomever to that's your mechanic, well, why don't you refer them out. And then it provided an easy way for them to reward word of mouth marketing.
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And if you're giving good referrals and sending people their way for you to be rewarded, and just kind of to benefit everybody. But I You know, honestly, it was a very, very good learning experience for me. And the thing I hated about it, in retrospect of what, like it failed, right? I mean, I don't want to blame anybody. But we, we got into a field that we didn't have a lot of business being in. And I wasn't set up in a place where I could take on as big of a project as it would it really was. And we had kind of put our trust in some and some people that we probably shouldn't have. And I'm not blaming those people, because there's always going to be people like that. I'm blaming myself, because I should have done more due diligence and done more homework before we went out. And we gave those folks money and we invested all this time. The only thing I was I'm sorry about is I had some friends that they're partnered up with me on this. And we all lost money. So I was just, I didn't like having any of my friends lose money, because of something that I did. We all knew the risks. So it's not like no one was swindled. But But I did hate I hated having some my friends lose money because of a bad decision that I made. But overall it was it was a really good learning experience. I learned a ton from it. And yeah, ultimately, I'm happy about what it what it taught me. Yeah. And I think it was, it was it was money well invested for the education I got from it.
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Yeah. I mentioned this quote in the first episode, but Nelson Mandela, he says, I never lose either win or I learn. Yeah. So good, man. And I guess I wanted to ask you, for all these missionaries coming home right now because of COVID 19. They're coming home from total structure, knowing what to do to being home and possibly being isolated from a lot of people, their family and friends, their support network and accountability. Do you have anything? Like any kind of advice for them coming home?
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Yeah. Keep the structure. I mean, that is crazy. It sounds and there's gonna be a lot of people who say, Oh, yes, like, be free. And like, it's this idea of what freedom is, is very interesting, right? It's like freedom is not an absence of rules. And freedom isn't just going out and doing whatever you want, that's not going to create more freedom.
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And there are certain things that we do in our life. That is that they're structured in a certain way. So we have more freedom, right? So for example, I work a lot of hours. I'm, I'm a real estate agent here in Utah. And I where I work a lot of hours. But some might say, Oh, well, you're so your, your schedule is so rigid, because I have a pretty pretty rigid schedule that I try to follow.
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But this rigid schedule allows me to go out and do the most important things that I need to in my life. So I now have freedom to do what I need to do, right? And then I'm never worried about, oh, hey, why didn't get this done? Or I didn't get that done. I know I got the important things done.
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So I can, I can relax. And when I'm relaxing, I can be fully relaxed, and I can be present in whatever moment I'm in. So. So I'd say that that structure is really whatever you want it to be right. I will the if I had a map that out. And I was just talking to anybody, I'd say okay, well, what is it that you want to do? Well, you know, I want to be I mean, do you want to pick something? I want
00:31:38.670 --> 00:31:43.920
to I want to be a architect.
00:31:44.190 --> 00:31:45.900
Okay, cool. You want to be an architect? Great.
00:31:46.230 --> 00:31:50.789
So what is it that you need to do to be an architect? You're like, well, I probably need to go to school to be an architect.
00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:53.609
Great. And that's usually where people stop the plan, right?
00:31:53.640 --> 00:31:58.920
It's like, well, that's I gotta go, I gotta go school. And that's my plan. It's like, well, that's, that's a mediocre plan.
00:31:58.920 --> 00:32:02.579
It's not bad, but it's mediocre.
00:31:58.920 --> 00:32:05.250
What is the you can do to elevate that, right, like Gordon B. Hinckley good, better best.
00:32:07.140 --> 00:34:03.240
Once I go, Well, maybe I should go over. And I should start interviewing different architects and see what makes an architect, a good architect what differentiates a good architect from a great architect. And then maybe I can go through and I can find a lot of different architects, one of my friends, Dad's actually working on some architecture for the Salt Lake City Temple, which is always wanted to work on tempo. So that's awesome. He's out there doing that architecture. So he's kind of in. In his world, he's living the dream, right? So it's like, well, maybe I want to go out, and I want to interview all these different architects, and see what makes them great. And maybe along the way, I want to see if there's a job I could do working for them, while I'm going to school and architecture rather than working at Wendy's or McDonald's or at Subway or whatever. I can go out and I can start working for them and maybe do an internship, where, you know, as long as you're making an above minimum wage, it's going to be a great return, because you're actually in the field. So you go out and you interviewed all these people maybe found one or two that you'd like to work with, maybe you start working with them, even if you're working with them for free, right? If you're providing enough value to them, you'll end up being putting yourself in a situation where you can you can do them, do something positive for them. And then they can come back and do something positive for you, right? So you go out and you do all that process. And now you're in a much better situation. So when you do graduate, you're not just graduating now. Oh, cool, it's over right now, I hope I can find a place, you're already plugged into a really good network, you're plugged in with someone who's already doing it at the level that you want to be doing. And you can avoid a lot of learning curves that you'd have to learn if you weren't doing it that way. So that's just like a very basic example of what I think I would do if that were the case. And that's kind of what I did in real estate. Like we I had my dad who's been involved for forever.
00:34:03.509 --> 00:34:48.119
So I got to learn directly from him. And I learned a lot of what real estate was in general, but what I was missing is a little more on lead generation site. So I looked at a lot of different places. And I looked at a lot of different teams. And I found who I think to be one of the best people and one of the most knowledgeable in this in this field. And they came and I started working with him and I learned directly from him. And it's it's allowed me to grow exponentially faster than if I was trying to do something on my own. Or if I was just trying to look at this one source because I was able to kind of combine the best of both worlds. Now I have this great setup, and I'm involved with very great people.
00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:54.599
So I was able to grow again exponentially faster than if I were to just try to do it on my own or I don't know yeah, we're
00:34:54.599 --> 00:35:40.438
just have like that. One kind of big goal out there of architecture and not really Break it down to those little little things that you need to do. I know I'm guilty of that, sometimes where I'm just like, you know what Sunday, I'm going to be this, I'm going to be doing all of this great stuff, but I don't break it down. And that's, that's something that we can all work on. And something that's really big for those missionaries coming home. Because some of you guys might be coming home and you weren't expecting to be coming home right now. It's, it's a little early. And so if you guys want to, like just put that structure in place, and create that plan, it like Terry said, it will create a lot more freedom. And
00:35:40.590 --> 00:37:05.760
I'm gonna interrupt you real quick. But what a great opportunity to learn to adapt, right? So a lot of folks are looking at what everything that's going on with COVID-19 Is this end of the world and sad and like, there's don't get me wrong, there's definitely it's real, we need to take it seriously. And we need to work and help as many people as we can, right? But like, let's stop thinking about ourselves for a second and see how we can go out and help other people how we can provide more value to our community, how we can go out and actually be very active throughout throughout this time, right? There's so many opportunities that we can be looking at and be gathering now. If we've taken focus on that, but if we're just focusing on Oh, like, I can't go out and I can't see my friends, and I can't hang out and I can't do my home comm like, forget about all the junk that you can't control, focus on controlling your controllables and, and double down on that. Because if you do, then you're going to be coming out of this a heck of a lot better than almost everybody else. Because most people is that's what they're doing right now. It's all like, my life is so hard and not to devalue anyone, there's there's a lot of really hard things going on. But just take take the bull by the horns and and say, Okay, well, what can I control with my current life now? To make it better once everything's done?
00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:05.760
And then do that?
00:37:06.389 --> 00:37:34.980
Yeah. No, that's great. And I love the fact that you talked about, like helping other people when you come back, because there's so many people that you can help. Even if you're not with them physically, or so many people that you can get to know. Your case is perfect. You Skyped your wife for three months, just getting to know her. Yeah, you caught feelings over Skype. And, like, yeah, there's this social distancing, this physical distancing going on right now.
00:37:35.130 --> 00:37:42.420
But it doesn't have to stop us from reaching out connecting with people helping them out and getting our life going as well.
00:37:42.960 --> 00:37:43.530
So
00:37:43.739 --> 00:37:54.659
can I can I do this? Thank you. This is like, my biggest missionary pet peeve.
00:37:48.179 --> 00:38:04.079
Like, like ever, ever. And I'm very passionate about this. And I'm not perfect when I say this, please. Um, no, in no way.
00:37:58.559 --> 00:38:26.699
Casting this blanket judgment because I know everyone's lives are different, and everyone has different situations that they have to deal with. But I remember in my first area, there was a member who saying, hey, you know, I've tried to reach missionaries so and so. But they haven't they haven't come they haven't talked to me. They haven't said anything. Do you know, have you heard anything?
00:38:27.030 --> 00:38:29.400
And then I don't even know them.
00:38:27.030 --> 00:38:29.400
I mean, I guess I knew them.
00:38:29.400 --> 00:39:10.829
Right? I had been with them for like half a transfer. And then what I didn't like is this missionary was when they were out there. They're just like, oh, brothers and sisters, and they're crying and doing their thing, right? Like, oh, like, I love you, I miss you. I'm gonna miss you so much like this was the best and and then like two weeks later, they're not even responding to these people that they say that they like loved and I'm like, Hey, listen, you know. I'm not asking everyone to like, love the people who they served with. And I know there's some weirdos that we had to teach and stuff like that. But like, if you don't love them, then please don't say you do.
00:39:12.059 --> 00:40:45.300
Sorry, that's, that's a pet peeve of mine. It's like if you actually go out and if you're gonna tell me love them and then when you come home, you completely forget about them, then then just please don't ever tell them that you love them and don't post on your Facebook that you love them and stuff like that. Because that seems very insincere to me. If you do love them, then do reach out. Take some time right now and let them know let let the folks know that you taught them that we have what your feelings are. Take this time to reconnect with them. You know, if I have a little more time and I try to do at least once once a month is just reach back out to someone from a mission and and tell them that I'm thinking about them and because I honest See if there was one thing I did, I did well as a missionary is I genuinely did love the people that I taught. I'm not gonna say I was the greatest missionary out there, I probably wasn't the greatest teacher, I probably wasn't the master at the language. I mean, it's spoken fluently, but not perfectly. And there's a lot of things that I probably didn't do very well, but I definitely loved the people. I cried like a baby, every area I left and I cried like a baby when I left and I cried like a baby when, when I took my nametag off, and I'm not much of a crier. So. So I really, I really did. And I continue to love those people.
00:40:45.869 --> 00:41:17.849
One of the folks that I taught he's out on his mission right now in England. And I'm going to take advantage of this time and repent because I haven't I messaged him, I talked to his mom all the time, because she's always sending me stuff and his brother who, who also taught and, and he got baptized as well, and just keeping in touch with him. But that's just a really, really big, it's a really big deal to me is if you're gonna tell them that you love them. Please don't let that love be a two year love. And then and then you forget about them.
00:41:18.300 --> 00:41:32.969
Yeah. No, I love that. That's, that is so important. And that call to action that you made. reach back out to some somebody. That's huge. Terry, thank you so much.
00:41:32.969 --> 00:41:43.860
I really do appreciate you so much, and everything that you've taught me. And when he talks about loving people. I'm one of those people that he's loved.
00:41:40.710 --> 00:41:55.949
And I, I've been a direct recipient, and it's really blessed my life to have a friend like him. And so thank you so much, Terry, for being on released the podcast.
00:41:57.150 --> 00:42:00.480
Oh, my pleasure.
00:41:57.150 --> 00:42:05.070
My pleasure. And just just a quick little closing remark.
00:42:00.480 --> 00:42:50.909
That last part, it seemed a little harsh and, and I hope it's not harsh in the way that hey, I'm not trying to attack anyone by hopefully just take advantage and control your controllables. And do let's all do the best we can. If there was someone who's looking at my life and magnifying glass, maybe I wouldn't like they wouldn't like everything that they saw. So I know we're all imperfect. But hopefully we can all do our best to continue to be better. And just I want to I want to take this advantage of this time and shout out to Talmage real quick and tell you guys tell me just talked a little bit about our relationship. And I want to take a quick minute and talk about my perspective of it. I also met Talmage the same time he met me.
00:42:45.539 --> 00:43:24.750
But I actually remember him meeting him a little before that before I went to was transferred to that school. My brother was there and he was working on a play. And Tom was just seemed like the nicest guy in talent is he damages the nicest guy. And then we went to school, and I was always getting Talmage in trouble. I would probably do more things to get into trouble or that I should be getting in trouble for but I would usually get out of them. But I wouldn't Tom was would end up in trouble.
00:43:19.980 --> 00:43:24.750
That was almost always the case.
00:43:24.780 --> 00:44:00.960
So I got Talmage I don't think he was ever sent to the principal's office before we met him and my our first year being friends he got sent to the principal's office almost expelled So, but how much Talmage was was fun because like my my older brother and his older brother, we all got to hang out a lot. And Talmage was Talmage was always our North Star. He was always he's always the one telling us alright guys, like you know, that's enough. We probably shouldn't do that.
00:44:02.849 --> 00:44:24.780
We're gonna get expelled we're gonna have the cops called on us. Anyway, have not gonna get too deep into any of those stories. But Thomas was always always the one keeping us keeping us on the straight and narrow or at least trying to we're always trying to get Thomas to do bad things.
00:44:26.820 --> 00:44:35.309
Sometimes we'd succeed sometimes he'd succeed but it was always provided a lot of value for for anyone who's known him.
00:44:36.389 --> 00:45:22.289
Especially for me and and although I went on my mission before Talmage Talmage was always a big, a big push for me to go on my mission to, to hold to the ride in terms of just like an analogy or whatever. But Talmage was always always there for us. always there for me pushing me and I'm super excited for him to be doing this podcast. I think if there's anyone in the world who can be doing it and, and sharing some good insights there and be helping people, it's it's Talmage. He's, he's one of the best, most genuine people in the world. My wife always says that Talmage is the greatest guy.
00:45:23.610 --> 00:45:38.760
And, and I agree. So so lots of love to everyone who's who's listening to this and, and count your blessings that the Talmage is decided to do something like this. And I'm sure he's going to provide a lot of value for for those folks out there listening.
00:45:40.380 --> 00:45:41.519
Thanks, man. Hey, man.
00:45:42.989 --> 00:45:47.159
I love you, man.
00:45:42.989 --> 00:45:53.699
Oh, man. I'm not he's not a crier, but I am. And so Well, with that well, and the podcast till next week.
00:46:07.889 --> 00:46:21.449
Thank you so much for listening to that episode is really fun for me to do. Because Terry Bailey is a great friend, great guy, and has some great advice about coming home and creating a plan, having that structure.
00:46:17.789 --> 00:46:31.349
Because a lot of you guys are coming from complete order to kind of chaos coming home and not having that structure. And so it's really important that we create that structure, and create a plan for our lives.
00:46:31.739 --> 00:46:46.528
Also, I loved his advice about loving the people that you serve, to reaching back out to them. They're going through a lot too, with this whole COVID thing. And so if you can just reach back out to them, tell them you love them, tell them that you're praying for them, that will do wonders for them.
00:46:46.648 --> 00:47:44.699
And it will do wonders for you as well. Also go on social media. Tell me what you think I've really enjoyed getting these messages. It's been so positive. I've heard so many stories about coming home in having these struggles, but coming closer to God through them. And I've just been so grateful to hear those stories, as well as to hear what you guys want to hear more about. So please go on social media, to my accounts on Talmage. Thayne, whether that's Facebook, or Instagram, and let me know your thoughts. You can also reach me at my email, it's released the podcast@gmail.com I know a lot of you guys have already reached out to me. Sorry. There's just been so much going on. A lot of people to respond to but I promise I will get back to your emails. And remember, God is good and he's planned on your success. And though you've been released from your mission, you've not been released from your ministry.
00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:25.170
Welcome to released the podcast. I'm Talmage Thayne, the host. Today I was able to interview Terry Bailey. He was born at an extremely young age. He was born in Mexico. In high school, his junior year he took state in soccer. He then served a mission in the Madrid Spain mission.
00:00:25.589 --> 00:00:39.960
Currently, he is working as a real estate agent. And he's married to a beautiful wife and has an adorable baby girl, and he can grow some decent facial hair. Terry is one of my oldest friends, so I was really excited to interview him.
00:00:52.380 --> 00:01:01.469
Go, Terry, thank you so much for letting me interview you. This is actually our second take.
00:00:56.490 --> 00:01:01.469
Because no, I'm not gonna say
00:01:01.798 --> 00:01:06.088
you didn't like my first take. That's fine. You can say no,
00:01:06.510 --> 00:01:09.750
Terry did great.
00:01:06.510 --> 00:01:13.349
I just, I don't know. I wasn't on my game. And so I was just like, hey, Terry, for my sake.
00:01:13.560 --> 00:01:19.709
Can we do another take? I just don't want to break this whole.
00:01:20.430 --> 00:01:34.739
Shake and Bake. Okay. Anyway. So Terry, just like, give you guys a background. I know you guys already heard his bio. But Terry has been my best friend. Since I was in eighth grade.
00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:38.129
I was taller than you then. Yeah, record.
00:01:39.540 --> 00:02:04.260
He's taller than me crazy. But yeah, and so yeah, we've been friends. Ever since then. It's just been so fun. But Terry, tell me just a little bit about your life growing up the mentality that you kind of had and what your parents kind of instilled in you. And just tell me a little bit about your background.
00:02:04.739 --> 00:02:51.359
Yeah, for this audience, I think we're talking a little more of right, I grew up my dad went on a mission. My mom went on a mission My mom was a convert. She was She learned about the church when she was like, 14 I didn't know my mom's probably the greatest person in the world. In addition to my wife, but, you know, I really good family growing up I just just a happy guy. I mean, happy guy. My mom and dad definitely taught us how to work hard. My mom's from Mexico. We moved here when I was like four years old.
00:02:47.158 --> 00:02:51.359
Have a bunch of siblings.
00:02:51.538 --> 00:03:00.899
There's like five, I've like five siblings. And yeah, I mean, I don't know what else you want to know. But yeah, Howard, but about us.
00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:08.250
I guess. How were you raised? What were some of the things your parents taught you when growing up? That kind of made you who you are today.
00:03:10.139 --> 00:03:43.528
You know, the one thing this is kind of my my parents thing was they were they're pretty much like, hey, you know, if you want something go out and get it. So I remember I was probably like, eight or nine after I was about nine years old. I started buying like my own clothes. And we could my dad owns a bunch of real estate properties. And he'd send us out with his with his handyman to learn how to do the repairs and to work and do do that stuff.
00:03:38.338 --> 00:03:57.868
And then yeah, and then like we'd mow lawns, and then I started getting my own lawns because my dad was only paying us like $1 an hour. He paid for a room and board so it was fine.
00:03:51.838 --> 00:04:17.968
But he did he had he had already bought lawn mowers and weed whackers and I was really good at edging lawns. So I started mowing lawns and that's how I had money and I liked at that point I liked fancier clothes and then what I do now so I did spend a little more money and get a little nicer clothes and
00:04:18.540 --> 00:04:25.110
and he's always dressed classy at school. Yeah bang for or just a jersey.
00:04:21.420 --> 00:04:25.110
Soccer Jersey
00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:41.550
has Soccer Soccer jersey or nice poles. But But yeah, you know, I know that was a big thing for me. It's just go out there and if you want something go out and get it. But they never bought us phones.
00:04:36.660 --> 00:05:18.180
They didn't buy us. Me a lot of fancy things. I usually paid for my own soccer teams and my soccer jerseys and summer camps and all those things is they'd helped me find a way to make that money if I needed to but it was mostly you know what if you want to go out there and get it and and that was the It's kind of the attitude that I was raised with and, and I'm in retrospect, I'm very happy about it. I mean, back when I was like, Hey, I have to work 20 hours just to pay for this sound summer camp, but like, all my other friends, their parents are just paying for it. So, but in retrospect, I'm very grateful for it. Yeah,
00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:46.410
I remember, I was talking to Terry and just like learning about him when we're in school, and I was talking to Mitchell. And I was just like, I thought we were independent, which we looking back, we weren't like crazy independent. Like we worked pretty hard. We milked cows and everything. But then looking at the Bailey's Dang, Terry bought his own car, like you were 16 when you bought your first car, right?
00:05:46.620 --> 00:05:51.300
Has fit you and I bought my first car, but I don't know if I really call that one we call.
00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:57.660
And so yeah, they flew. They flew us out of the water for sure.
00:05:58.379 --> 00:06:16.319
I don't know if that's true or independent. But is it was fun. I had a great childhood. Lots of lots of good memories hanging out with my family and my friends. And I, I mean, I wish I could say I had a little more of a sad story, but it's just I had a great childhood. Lots of fun.
00:06:16.529 --> 00:06:25.230
One of the things that impressed you or impressed my parents about you.
00:06:21.660 --> 00:06:59.579
And like just all the Bailey's basically, was the extreme worth work ethic, which my dad absolutely loves. We took were me, my dad, and my brother, we were going out to the farm. And we had a pig farm back in the day. And me and my brother were like, Hey, can Paul and Terry come? And my dad's like, No, we're not going to bring your friends. You guys are just gonna goof off the whole time not get any work done. And that won't be helpful at all right? No, we promise they'll work we promise.
00:06:54.750 --> 00:07:06.480
And so they come out. And my dad ended up liking Paul and Terry better than me. And he was just so impressed with their work ethic.
00:07:06.779 --> 00:07:08.670
Like parliamo. So brown nose.
00:07:11.189 --> 00:07:15.480
Oh, and so good.
00:07:11.189 --> 00:07:28.050
But yeah. Okay, and then kind of going from there. Now that everybody kind of knows about you a little bit. Um, then you got called to Spain for your mission? Could you tell me a little bit about that?
00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:56.250
Yeah, well, you gotta call the call to go hold the spin. Yeah, you know, honestly, is the best mission in the world was where I was called. And everyone has their opinions. But mine. I am happy to compare data points. Mine was by far the best mission in the world. I already spoke Spanish growing up. So yeah, is nice and fun and very excited to go out.
00:07:56.250 --> 00:08:30.300
I was as a super super pumped. I never, I never remember. When I well, I remember getting dropped off at the MTC and I know everyone has their, their feelings there. My family was there. And you know, I kind of hugged them. I was the third kid to go out for my mission. But no, no one was crying. Everyone was just like I see you later. I was like I see it. But like, it was pretty. It's pretty nonchalant for me being dropped off. I know. Some folks have a more emotional experience there.
00:08:30.300 --> 00:09:07.500
And I grew up like 10 in Orem, maybe like five or 10 minutes away from the MTC and I went to the MTC in Provo, so yeah, the MTC was like a cool like, I felt like I was at a summer camp and wasn't learning a new language is just hanging out with a bunch of Latin guys who I thought were super funny. My my MTC crew shout out to any of you guys do watch it. But I had tons of fun with those guys. They were they were who? But yeah, I mean, the MTC was great. And then we went out route, went out to Spain and, and got started there. And there's an amazing experience.
00:09:08.820 --> 00:09:14.549
That's great.
00:09:08.820 --> 00:09:32.789
And I wrote Terry, we wrote back and forth every once in a while when he was on his mission. And then later when I was on my mission, and I'm going throughout your mission, something happened at the end or something potentially made a potential blessing for you in the future happened. What was that?
00:09:33.899 --> 00:09:47.129
I don't know. I think you're alluding to I think you're alluding to me meeting my wife. Yeah. I met my wife on a mission my last month there.
00:09:42.419 --> 00:09:53.759
Meet the Mormons. The movie had come out probably a year ago.
00:09:47.129 --> 00:10:25.919
And throughout our mission, we had like a kickoff for meet the Mormons and be introduced to to the community The church isn't as big and isn't as strong as in Spain is it isn't a lot of other countries. Honestly, the church hasn't been there that long. And in Spain is kind of an interesting place, they had a dictatorship for a long time, that pretty much forced everyone to be of one religion. So a lot of the folks there are very, very strong in that religion.
00:10:26.279 --> 00:11:17.970
And then a lot of folks are just totally against religion in general, just because they have that, hey, we were forced to being in a religion. And now we're just not having it with any religion. So the church was never I mean, it's just not very big in Spain. So there's a lot of, we were working a lot of outreach to, to be have the church a little more normalized there. So we had this meet the Mormons activity. And that's where I met my wife. My grandparents have done a lot of genealogy. So I'm pretty sure she was just impressed that I had a couple lines that went back to Adam. She's just like, wow, I wouldn't have to my didn't genealogy work there. So she's excited about that, right.
00:11:07.409 --> 00:11:20.190
Genealogy is the key. But so do you want to go in deeper of how I so we met?
00:11:20.340 --> 00:11:27.029
Yeah, I think I think people would love to hear this. It's honestly one of the cutest stories ever. And so
00:11:27.568 --> 00:11:37.469
yeah, so we met at that activity. And I checked off my wife at this point, her she wasn't a member of the church.
00:11:37.589 --> 00:11:43.708
Her cousin was is a little less active member. But a great lady.
00:11:44.068 --> 00:12:39.839
And, and yeah, we met there. My wife had this this nose piercing on her. Yeah, in your nose. It was kind of like those, those bowl piercings. She's not gonna be happy about me saying it that way. But that's what it was. And but yeah, I remember her, her walking in to that portion that I was talking about in genealogy. And in Spain, you, you say bye bye, like giving a kiss and whatnot. And the church is very new to her. And so we were talking a little at the end. The sisters had been teaching her and her mom, mostly her mom. And then they'd kind of stopped, they'd lived a little further out. And anyway, before we even had this in our correlation, meaning correlation know, what's the correlation is what we call the in Spain.
00:12:40.198 --> 00:12:44.489
correlation with the with the
00:12:45.870 --> 00:12:48.090
district, or zoning years or
00:12:48.149 --> 00:12:53.370
No, with your ward mission leader. Oh, yeah. We can't really correlate and maybe
00:12:53.399 --> 00:12:57.539
correlation coordination meeting be called at both. Yeah,
00:12:57.568 --> 00:13:33.389
whatever is called right. We had that meeting. And the sisters are like, Oh, hey, Christina, which is now my mother in law. She like, oh, we haven't had great success, visiting them and whatnot. Like maybe maybe it'll work out better with you guys. Right. So a lot of times with the sisters, we would do that we've kind of, if we weren't doing super well, we would hand them over the sisters. If they weren't doing super well, they'd hand them over to us just to see if, you know, for whatever reason, personalities linked better. So we did. And then I was like, Oh, cool. So we met and then we set up a time to go and visit them.
00:13:29.578 --> 00:14:01.979
Christina, she's like, Oh, I really want you to teach my son Brian, who's now my brother in law. He's twins with my wife. So we met some time a couple of times got along super well, we had a fourth of July celebration. This was about a week before I was going to go home. And we played volleyball on the Fourth of July. We got to get into our district. They came over had some a couple other members come over. And I was making hamburgers.
00:14:02.730 --> 00:14:04.950
And but you're vegetarian?
00:14:05.009 --> 00:14:40.679
Yeah. But I will put them in burger. And then yeah, we met there had a good time. The one thing that was that didn't impress me about her. While I was on a mission, we didn't have a whole lot of contact. I mean, we probably saw each other three or four times before I left. But that day, a lot of the other missionaries that were there they left and almost all the other members left. And we're saying oh hey, we'll see you guys later. And then her and her mom were like, Hey, do you need us to drop you off anywhere? We said no, we're good. I'm gonna stay in clean.
00:14:37.169 --> 00:14:57.509
We're gonna stay in clean, right? And so it was me and my companion and I think one other set of missionaries and and they're like, oh, cool, we'll help you clean so they stayed and helped clean for like an hour and a half, two hours after the fact which was impressive to me and she was out there.
00:14:54.809 --> 00:15:57.179
Cleaning the whole time. She wasn't like chatting with other people like A lot of other folks were. And her brother was just just shooting the breeze and he's working super hard. So that was something that was impressive to me before the fact. But then, yeah, then we came home. I didn't think too much of it. To be honest, I was reconnecting with a lot of folks from my mission. Because when we were out there, we were unable to keep super close touch. So it was really good to reach out and talk to them. And I added her on Facebook, and she didn't add me back. Oh, yeah. Like a week, then. But anyway, but then I was like, Oh, cool. Well, I'll call and talk to their family. And then I was gonna call and talk to their family and just talk to her for for like, an hour. And then I was like, wow, like she, she hasn't told me to deliver alone yet. So I'm like, hey, what if I, what if I call you tomorrow? And she's like, Yeah, hey, you can call me tomorrow.
00:15:57.570 --> 00:16:02.580
And then I called her the next day. And I was like, whoa, what if I call you tomorrow? Again?
00:16:03.809 --> 00:16:06.570
We kept talking, started catching feelings.
00:16:06.659 --> 00:16:18.450
Yeah, yeah. So we talked every day for like three months. And then I went, I was like, Well, I like I liked this girl. I was poor is all good.
00:16:12.779 --> 00:16:35.490
Get out like the I was just poor. As far as starting up college, I was doing some landscaping work with my buddy Connor. And yeah, then I saved like every penny that I spent spent it all to go out there.
00:16:37.289 --> 00:17:01.559
And then yeah, then we we hung out in person. I really liked her. And for whatever reason, she was okay with me. So. So we hung out there for a few weeks, and then came back home, did long distance for another three or four months. And then she came out here to study English.
00:16:55.200 --> 00:17:18.599
And then dal kept dating. And then probably six months after she was here, 789 months after she got here. Then we got married. And yeah, now we're married, been married. Almost three years have a one and a half year old little girl.
00:17:18.660 --> 00:17:22.170
She's the cutest thing you guys will ever see.
00:17:22.170 --> 00:17:26.910
She she really is.
00:17:22.170 --> 00:17:50.490
I'm obviously biased, but her eyes are absolutely. I don't know, the cutest thing that I've ever seen. I was telling Talmage before we started the podcast, and this is this is kind of a perspective thing for me. I've been doing pretty well in our business lately, and we've been having some success and we're happy and things are going well.
00:17:50.849 --> 00:18:22.559
But just the happiest moments for me, is when I come home and after usually working pretty long hours and my daughter is still there, but I opened the door and she's just throwing something on the ground or making a mess or whatever, but she'll stop doing whatever she's doing. Look at me, and just like run over and hug me and and that's that's just like the best thing in the whole world. It's it's that and then just hanging out with with my wife and my little girl. Nothing better.
00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:26.519
That's so cute.
00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:43.829
Oh, my goodness. Terry's too modest to say this, but his story is like one of the cutest love stories ever. And, and Terry's also too modest to say that. She's like, silly and it's just okay with him. That's what he says. But
00:18:45.059 --> 00:18:51.660
she's out of my league. She's way out of my league. So just just saying she's okay with me was was a big step.
00:18:53.789 --> 00:19:04.589
Oh, man, she got a good one. And he got a good one, too. She's amazing. I remember when I first came home, they were you guys were dating.
00:18:59.609 --> 00:19:26.339
And I got off the escalator hugged everybody. And I saw you with Cillian. And she came up and gave me a hug. And she's like, I've heard so much about you in her broken English. And like right away. I just loved cilia and she's just such an amazing person. And so you guys like fit so well together. And they're the cutest couple
00:19:26.369 --> 00:19:29.250
to know my wife.
00:19:26.369 --> 00:19:29.250
My wife's an absolutely amazing.
00:19:29.250 --> 00:19:37.440
I don't want to start talking about her because then this podcast will last like three or four hours. I'm just gonna say she's she's an awesome woman and she's way out of my league.
00:19:39.089 --> 00:19:43.289
She is great.
00:19:39.089 --> 00:19:53.730
Well, I guess going back to when you first got home from your mission. Could you tell me about some of the challenges that I guess you were facing? And kind of what you did with that?
00:19:53.910 --> 00:21:21.420
Yeah, so this is something I've learned that I really liked. study and I like to learn as much as I can. But where a lot of unhappiness takes place in our lives, is when our lives don't align with our expectations. Right? So and I'm sure all of us can see that at one point or another, if we've gone out on missions you've seen people in, in very different demographics, right? So very, some folks were very poor. Some folks were very rich, and happiness doesn't align with $1 amount, right? But it does a lot of times align with your expectations. So my expectations when I came home was, I had almost been licensed in real estate. When I left on my mission. I didn't pass the test by like, literally, it was literally one question, it was by half a percentage that I didn't pass. So I had to come back and retake all the tests and redo all that. And I wasn't super excited about that, and wasn't sure I wanted to continue doing real estate. My plan was, I mean, when I talked to my mission president about is like, Hey, I'm going to come back to real estate, do college. double down on both of those work hard graduate college, maybe you do real estate? If not, I'll for sure do real estate investing, and I'll have another career.
00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:39.690
And then when I'm maybe 25, I'll probably get married around then. And that was that was kind of that's kind of my plan, you know. And then meeting my woman to be wife, like, threw everything out of whack. That one was very happy.
00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:44.190
Happy accident.
00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:44.190
Yeah. Bob Ross moments.
00:21:44.220 --> 00:21:47.130
Yeah, definitely.
00:21:44.220 --> 00:22:16.259
So it didn't line up with my expectations. But as as happy about it. I remember right when I came home TOF, which is one of our really good friends. He, he we just were really, really close on a lot of things. Just I'm just a couple of days older than he is he came back from his mission just a couple of days before I did. We both moved to a new school, our senior year plates out anyway, we just like lineup, and a lot of things like in a weird way. So he came back.
00:22:16.410 --> 00:22:37.890
He had been back home, like two weeks, and he seemed like a veteran to me. I was like, oh, what's it like, man? What's the reintegration process and he's like, man, like, let me tell you. He knew he knew everything.
00:22:30.359 --> 00:23:35.309
And he was like, he's doing some landscape work or something like that. And anyway, it's just, it's just, it's funny looking back at it, because, to me that two weeks of him being home before I was he was he was a straight veteran. He knew everything, man. But anyway, back back to meeting our expectations, I think a lot of times, it's it's the lack of meaning that expectation that that creates kind of this dissonance between ourselves internally, because we're thinking, okay, you know, well, I'm gonna come home and life is gonna be easy, or I'm gonna follow this, this set plan and it's going to be great. And, and like, it's just never, that never happens, right? Never happens. Exactly what how we're planning on it. But it's, I think it's a big thing is setting the expectation that you're not going to know exactly how things are going to play out, is a big thing. That helps.
00:23:30.990 --> 00:24:14.579
That was one of the things that that I had read. And one of the big things that helps in marriage as well. Is everyone expects, hey, when I'm married, you know, I'm going to come home, I'm going to work and work is going to be awesome. And everyone's gonna love me at work. And then I'm gonna come home and like, my wife's gonna be there and she's gonna have dinner on the table in my one and a half year old daughter is going to be clean. Her face isn't going to be messy, she isn't going to throw water on the floor. And like, you know, we're going to eat and then we're all going to sit down and maybe watch some TV and go to bed and we're all like that.
00:24:11.579 --> 00:24:28.140
It's just like, that's kind of what we think life is or like how our expectation is, but really like you come home and like my wife has been working on, on her schooling all day.
00:24:21.210 --> 00:24:56.460
And my daughter's messy and she has been throwing stuff on the ground and she's been fasci She's like, drew on the walls or, or whatever she's doing right or she's, she drew on her face with permanent marker. And then, like, there's no food and there's dishes and you come home and work wasn't what you expected it to be. So you come back and you're like, oh my gosh, like this is not what I expected. Right? But it's like that is the right expectation.
00:24:56.460 --> 00:25:36.569
So it's, I go in and I whip up a good old with grilled cheese sandwich or PB and J I, that I make some food for my daughter, change her diaper. Try to clean up a little bit, sometimes I'm just tired of and my wife still doing homework and it's just like, you know life isn't exactly what you expect. And the more our expectation is, you know, life's going to be hard and it's going to be weird, then it's easier to be happy about it. Not saying that you set low expectations for your life. But just set realistic expectations and be ready for life to take its many turns.
00:25:36.720 --> 00:26:16.049
Yeah, when you were talking about that made me think of, I had the same experience where I just had like, totally different expectations. And when they didn't align with reality, reality, I like it threw me for a loop. And I think a lot of it comes down to like, having that faith, not faith that your plans are going to work out. But faith that things are going to work out faith that God's plan is going to work out whatever it is. And that way, like, you can be like adaptive to whatever situation. I know, that was a big thing for me to learn.
00:26:13.140 --> 00:26:57.690
Because if things didn't go the way I had planned, I just be like, oh, man, like, what's the point? And like, dramatic in everything. And so Terry is somebody that I've found is very adaptive, to those circumstances. You had an experience starting a company, or an app that didn't actually turn out? Wow. And how was that like, because you had an expectation of starting something really great. And you had a great vision, and you started putting things in place and planning on it. But it just didn't turn out? What was that like?
00:26:58.890 --> 00:27:39.900
You know, pretty crappy. To be honest, it's but in retrospect, I learned I learned a lot from it. This is I'll tell you guys, the app idea if any of you guys want to go out there and do I'd love to see it happen. There's a so is a social media referral platform designed to help kind of kick give kickbacks to to say, hey, you know, you really like working with whomever to that's your mechanic, well, why don't you refer them out. And then it provided an easy way for them to reward word of mouth marketing.
00:27:36.930 --> 00:29:19.019
And if you're giving good referrals and sending people their way for you to be rewarded, and just kind of to benefit everybody. But I You know, honestly, it was a very, very good learning experience for me. And the thing I hated about it, in retrospect of what, like it failed, right? I mean, I don't want to blame anybody. But we, we got into a field that we didn't have a lot of business being in. And I wasn't set up in a place where I could take on as big of a project as it would it really was. And we had kind of put our trust in some and some people that we probably shouldn't have. And I'm not blaming those people, because there's always going to be people like that. I'm blaming myself, because I should have done more due diligence and done more homework before we went out. And we gave those folks money and we invested all this time. The only thing I was I'm sorry about is I had some friends that they're partnered up with me on this. And we all lost money. So I was just, I didn't like having any of my friends lose money, because of something that I did. We all knew the risks. So it's not like no one was swindled. But But I did hate I hated having some my friends lose money because of a bad decision that I made. But overall it was it was a really good learning experience. I learned a ton from it. And yeah, ultimately, I'm happy about what it what it taught me. Yeah. And I think it was, it was it was money well invested for the education I got from it.
00:29:19.259 --> 00:29:57.779
Yeah. I mentioned this quote in the first episode, but Nelson Mandela, he says, I never lose either win or I learn. Yeah. So good, man. And I guess I wanted to ask you, for all these missionaries coming home right now because of COVID 19. They're coming home from total structure, knowing what to do to being home and possibly being isolated from a lot of people, their family and friends, their support network and accountability. Do you have anything? Like any kind of advice for them coming home?
00:29:58.049 --> 00:30:21.900
Yeah. Keep the structure. I mean, that is crazy. It sounds and there's gonna be a lot of people who say, Oh, yes, like, be free. And like, it's this idea of what freedom is, is very interesting, right? It's like freedom is not an absence of rules. And freedom isn't just going out and doing whatever you want, that's not going to create more freedom.
00:30:22.259 --> 00:30:53.160
And there are certain things that we do in our life. That is that they're structured in a certain way. So we have more freedom, right? So for example, I work a lot of hours. I'm, I'm a real estate agent here in Utah. And I where I work a lot of hours. But some might say, Oh, well, you're so your, your schedule is so rigid, because I have a pretty pretty rigid schedule that I try to follow.
00:30:47.609 --> 00:31:11.789
But this rigid schedule allows me to go out and do the most important things that I need to in my life. So I now have freedom to do what I need to do, right? And then I'm never worried about, oh, hey, why didn't get this done? Or I didn't get that done. I know I got the important things done.
00:31:07.950 --> 00:31:38.670
So I can, I can relax. And when I'm relaxing, I can be fully relaxed, and I can be present in whatever moment I'm in. So. So I'd say that that structure is really whatever you want it to be right. I will the if I had a map that out. And I was just talking to anybody, I'd say okay, well, what is it that you want to do? Well, you know, I want to be I mean, do you want to pick something? I want
00:31:38.670 --> 00:31:43.920
to I want to be a architect.
00:31:44.190 --> 00:31:45.900
Okay, cool. You want to be an architect? Great.
00:31:46.230 --> 00:31:50.789
So what is it that you need to do to be an architect? You're like, well, I probably need to go to school to be an architect.
00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:53.609
Great. And that's usually where people stop the plan, right?
00:31:53.640 --> 00:31:58.920
It's like, well, that's I gotta go, I gotta go school. And that's my plan. It's like, well, that's, that's a mediocre plan.
00:31:58.920 --> 00:32:02.579
It's not bad, but it's mediocre.
00:31:58.920 --> 00:32:05.250
What is the you can do to elevate that, right, like Gordon B. Hinckley good, better best.
00:32:07.140 --> 00:34:03.240
Once I go, Well, maybe I should go over. And I should start interviewing different architects and see what makes an architect, a good architect what differentiates a good architect from a great architect. And then maybe I can go through and I can find a lot of different architects, one of my friends, Dad's actually working on some architecture for the Salt Lake City Temple, which is always wanted to work on tempo. So that's awesome. He's out there doing that architecture. So he's kind of in. In his world, he's living the dream, right? So it's like, well, maybe I want to go out, and I want to interview all these different architects, and see what makes them great. And maybe along the way, I want to see if there's a job I could do working for them, while I'm going to school and architecture rather than working at Wendy's or McDonald's or at Subway or whatever. I can go out and I can start working for them and maybe do an internship, where, you know, as long as you're making an above minimum wage, it's going to be a great return, because you're actually in the field. So you go out and you interviewed all these people maybe found one or two that you'd like to work with, maybe you start working with them, even if you're working with them for free, right? If you're providing enough value to them, you'll end up being putting yourself in a situation where you can you can do them, do something positive for them. And then they can come back and do something positive for you, right? So you go out and you do all that process. And now you're in a much better situation. So when you do graduate, you're not just graduating now. Oh, cool, it's over right now, I hope I can find a place, you're already plugged into a really good network, you're plugged in with someone who's already doing it at the level that you want to be doing. And you can avoid a lot of learning curves that you'd have to learn if you weren't doing it that way. So that's just like a very basic example of what I think I would do if that were the case. And that's kind of what I did in real estate. Like we I had my dad who's been involved for forever.
00:34:03.509 --> 00:34:48.119
So I got to learn directly from him. And I learned a lot of what real estate was in general, but what I was missing is a little more on lead generation site. So I looked at a lot of different places. And I looked at a lot of different teams. And I found who I think to be one of the best people and one of the most knowledgeable in this in this field. And they came and I started working with him and I learned directly from him. And it's it's allowed me to grow exponentially faster than if I was trying to do something on my own. Or if I was just trying to look at this one source because I was able to kind of combine the best of both worlds. Now I have this great setup, and I'm involved with very great people.
00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:54.599
So I was able to grow again exponentially faster than if I were to just try to do it on my own or I don't know yeah, we're
00:34:54.599 --> 00:35:40.438
just have like that. One kind of big goal out there of architecture and not really Break it down to those little little things that you need to do. I know I'm guilty of that, sometimes where I'm just like, you know what Sunday, I'm going to be this, I'm going to be doing all of this great stuff, but I don't break it down. And that's, that's something that we can all work on. And something that's really big for those missionaries coming home. Because some of you guys might be coming home and you weren't expecting to be coming home right now. It's, it's a little early. And so if you guys want to, like just put that structure in place, and create that plan, it like Terry said, it will create a lot more freedom. And
00:35:40.590 --> 00:37:05.760
I'm gonna interrupt you real quick. But what a great opportunity to learn to adapt, right? So a lot of folks are looking at what everything that's going on with COVID-19 Is this end of the world and sad and like, there's don't get me wrong, there's definitely it's real, we need to take it seriously. And we need to work and help as many people as we can, right? But like, let's stop thinking about ourselves for a second and see how we can go out and help other people how we can provide more value to our community, how we can go out and actually be very active throughout throughout this time, right? There's so many opportunities that we can be looking at and be gathering now. If we've taken focus on that, but if we're just focusing on Oh, like, I can't go out and I can't see my friends, and I can't hang out and I can't do my home comm like, forget about all the junk that you can't control, focus on controlling your controllables and, and double down on that. Because if you do, then you're going to be coming out of this a heck of a lot better than almost everybody else. Because most people is that's what they're doing right now. It's all like, my life is so hard and not to devalue anyone, there's there's a lot of really hard things going on. But just take take the bull by the horns and and say, Okay, well, what can I control with my current life now? To make it better once everything's done?
00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:05.760
And then do that?
00:37:06.389 --> 00:37:34.980
Yeah. No, that's great. And I love the fact that you talked about, like helping other people when you come back, because there's so many people that you can help. Even if you're not with them physically, or so many people that you can get to know. Your case is perfect. You Skyped your wife for three months, just getting to know her. Yeah, you caught feelings over Skype. And, like, yeah, there's this social distancing, this physical distancing going on right now.
00:37:35.130 --> 00:37:42.420
But it doesn't have to stop us from reaching out connecting with people helping them out and getting our life going as well.
00:37:42.960 --> 00:37:43.530
So
00:37:43.739 --> 00:37:54.659
can I can I do this? Thank you. This is like, my biggest missionary pet peeve.
00:37:48.179 --> 00:38:04.079
Like, like ever, ever. And I'm very passionate about this. And I'm not perfect when I say this, please. Um, no, in no way.
00:37:58.559 --> 00:38:26.699
Casting this blanket judgment because I know everyone's lives are different, and everyone has different situations that they have to deal with. But I remember in my first area, there was a member who saying, hey, you know, I've tried to reach missionaries so and so. But they haven't they haven't come they haven't talked to me. They haven't said anything. Do you know, have you heard anything?
00:38:27.030 --> 00:38:29.400
And then I don't even know them.
00:38:27.030 --> 00:38:29.400
I mean, I guess I knew them.
00:38:29.400 --> 00:39:10.829
Right? I had been with them for like half a transfer. And then what I didn't like is this missionary was when they were out there. They're just like, oh, brothers and sisters, and they're crying and doing their thing, right? Like, oh, like, I love you, I miss you. I'm gonna miss you so much like this was the best and and then like two weeks later, they're not even responding to these people that they say that they like loved and I'm like, Hey, listen, you know. I'm not asking everyone to like, love the people who they served with. And I know there's some weirdos that we had to teach and stuff like that. But like, if you don't love them, then please don't say you do.
00:39:12.059 --> 00:40:45.300
Sorry, that's, that's a pet peeve of mine. It's like if you actually go out and if you're gonna tell me love them and then when you come home, you completely forget about them, then then just please don't ever tell them that you love them and don't post on your Facebook that you love them and stuff like that. Because that seems very insincere to me. If you do love them, then do reach out. Take some time right now and let them know let let the folks know that you taught them that we have what your feelings are. Take this time to reconnect with them. You know, if I have a little more time and I try to do at least once once a month is just reach back out to someone from a mission and and tell them that I'm thinking about them and because I honest See if there was one thing I did, I did well as a missionary is I genuinely did love the people that I taught. I'm not gonna say I was the greatest missionary out there, I probably wasn't the greatest teacher, I probably wasn't the master at the language. I mean, it's spoken fluently, but not perfectly. And there's a lot of things that I probably didn't do very well, but I definitely loved the people. I cried like a baby, every area I left and I cried like a baby when I left and I cried like a baby when, when I took my nametag off, and I'm not much of a crier. So. So I really, I really did. And I continue to love those people.
00:40:45.869 --> 00:41:17.849
One of the folks that I taught he's out on his mission right now in England. And I'm going to take advantage of this time and repent because I haven't I messaged him, I talked to his mom all the time, because she's always sending me stuff and his brother who, who also taught and, and he got baptized as well, and just keeping in touch with him. But that's just a really, really big, it's a really big deal to me is if you're gonna tell them that you love them. Please don't let that love be a two year love. And then and then you forget about them.
00:41:18.300 --> 00:41:32.969
Yeah. No, I love that. That's, that is so important. And that call to action that you made. reach back out to some somebody. That's huge. Terry, thank you so much.
00:41:32.969 --> 00:41:43.860
I really do appreciate you so much, and everything that you've taught me. And when he talks about loving people. I'm one of those people that he's loved.
00:41:40.710 --> 00:41:55.949
And I, I've been a direct recipient, and it's really blessed my life to have a friend like him. And so thank you so much, Terry, for being on released the podcast.
00:41:57.150 --> 00:42:00.480
Oh, my pleasure.
00:41:57.150 --> 00:42:05.070
My pleasure. And just just a quick little closing remark.
00:42:00.480 --> 00:42:50.909
That last part, it seemed a little harsh and, and I hope it's not harsh in the way that hey, I'm not trying to attack anyone by hopefully just take advantage and control your controllables. And do let's all do the best we can. If there was someone who's looking at my life and magnifying glass, maybe I wouldn't like they wouldn't like everything that they saw. So I know we're all imperfect. But hopefully we can all do our best to continue to be better. And just I want to I want to take this advantage of this time and shout out to Talmage real quick and tell you guys tell me just talked a little bit about our relationship. And I want to take a quick minute and talk about my perspective of it. I also met Talmage the same time he met me.
00:42:45.539 --> 00:43:24.750
But I actually remember him meeting him a little before that before I went to was transferred to that school. My brother was there and he was working on a play. And Tom was just seemed like the nicest guy in talent is he damages the nicest guy. And then we went to school, and I was always getting Talmage in trouble. I would probably do more things to get into trouble or that I should be getting in trouble for but I would usually get out of them. But I wouldn't Tom was would end up in trouble.
00:43:19.980 --> 00:43:24.750
That was almost always the case.
00:43:24.780 --> 00:44:00.960
So I got Talmage I don't think he was ever sent to the principal's office before we met him and my our first year being friends he got sent to the principal's office almost expelled So, but how much Talmage was was fun because like my my older brother and his older brother, we all got to hang out a lot. And Talmage was Talmage was always our North Star. He was always he's always the one telling us alright guys, like you know, that's enough. We probably shouldn't do that.
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We're gonna get expelled we're gonna have the cops called on us. Anyway, have not gonna get too deep into any of those stories. But Thomas was always always the one keeping us keeping us on the straight and narrow or at least trying to we're always trying to get Thomas to do bad things.
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Sometimes we'd succeed sometimes he'd succeed but it was always provided a lot of value for for anyone who's known him.
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Especially for me and and although I went on my mission before Talmage Talmage was always a big, a big push for me to go on my mission to, to hold to the ride in terms of just like an analogy or whatever. But Talmage was always always there for us. always there for me pushing me and I'm super excited for him to be doing this podcast. I think if there's anyone in the world who can be doing it and, and sharing some good insights there and be helping people, it's it's Talmage. He's, he's one of the best, most genuine people in the world. My wife always says that Talmage is the greatest guy.
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And, and I agree. So so lots of love to everyone who's who's listening to this and, and count your blessings that the Talmage is decided to do something like this. And I'm sure he's going to provide a lot of value for for those folks out there listening.
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Thanks, man. Hey, man.
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I love you, man.
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Oh, man. I'm not he's not a crier, but I am. And so Well, with that well, and the podcast till next week.
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Thank you so much for listening to that episode is really fun for me to do. Because Terry Bailey is a great friend, great guy, and has some great advice about coming home and creating a plan, having that structure.
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Because a lot of you guys are coming from complete order to kind of chaos coming home and not having that structure. And so it's really important that we create that structure, and create a plan for our lives.
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Also, I loved his advice about loving the people that you serve, to reaching back out to them. They're going through a lot too, with this whole COVID thing. And so if you can just reach back out to them, tell them you love them, tell them that you're praying for them, that will do wonders for them.
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And it will do wonders for you as well. Also go on social media. Tell me what you think I've really enjoyed getting these messages. It's been so positive. I've heard so many stories about coming home in having these struggles, but coming closer to God through them. And I've just been so grateful to hear those stories, as well as to hear what you guys want to hear more about. So please go on social media, to my accounts on Talmage. Thayne, whether that's Facebook, or Instagram, and let me know your thoughts. You can also reach me at my email, it's released the podcast@gmail.com I know a lot of you guys have already reached out to me. Sorry. There's just been so much going on. A lot of people to respond to but I promise I will get back to your emails. And remember, God is good and he's planned on your success. And though you've been released from your mission, you've not been released from your ministry.
