Cheyenne Bryant Controversy, Tiffany Haddish & Kevin Hart Roast Reaction

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Thank you so much for joining us on the Raised by Her podcast.
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It really helps us out.
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If you download, subscribe, like, and love.
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And also please leave us a review.
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Welcome back to Raised by Her.
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Hello, hello, hello.
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How you doing?
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That's good.
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Yeah, we were I was telling you that I I got my workout in this morning.
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I got a yoga session in this morning.
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So depressed.
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That's great.
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I am feeling restored.
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Okay.
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Well, that's good.
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See, first taking care of yourself.
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Yes.
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And doing what you need to do for your body.
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Yes.
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And then kind of move it forward.
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And then I also felt like I kind of needed it for us to have this conversation.
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Oh.
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Yes, well several topics.
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We do.
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It's been a week.
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Going on.
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Yes, it has been a week.
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However, last night I went to um the opera.
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Oh.
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Okay.
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And I just love that black opera.
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Now I don't go to the opera often.
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But it was uh it just reminded me of just how beautiful that story is.
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Because it's a love story, and I've seen it over the decades with different people, different performers, and it was just amazing.
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I've never seen it.
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Can you recommend it?
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Oh, highly recommend it.
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Yes.
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And because the performances are just always so powerful, and it's something you can relate to even in 2026.
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The fact that you're telling me that it's a black opera helps because I went to one opera once and then left in the middle.
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It just wasn't clearly it was not my right, right.
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Right.
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Uh but the music was this music's different.
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Okay.
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The the artist is simply perfect.
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There's a study that was circulating this week about the power of art and anti-aging and longevity.
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And it was talking about how um people who are older when they go to museums and when they experience the various arts around there or just various arts, period, uh, it contributes to longevity and anti-aging.
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I like that anti-aging part.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Both of it.
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Yeah.
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Um, and when I was sitting there, because the talent and this Gershwin opera is timeless, and so uh it's just been around for such a long time, it allows you to sit there and you can close your eyes and you can really experience the magnificence of the voices of the talent.
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And because this was a black opera, although the chorus was made up, uh, was integrated, and uh, we had a friend who was in the chorus as well.
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It's just it was really a cool experience.
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And I can see why this would help, at least in terms of relaxation.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Well, maybe I'll give opera another chance.
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Actually, no, that's not true.
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The last, well, this is a non-traditional opera.
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I went to go see the hip-hop uh performer.
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I don't I was down in Atlanta.
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Okay, okay.
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Watched it, and he was entertaining.
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So maybe it really is not about being the opera, it's uh who is performing the opera and which opera is it?
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And the story a lot.
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Okay.
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So per usual, it's about the specifics.
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But uh yeah, it was good.
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Okay, excellent, excellent.
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So we had several responses to our discussion around Dr.
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Not Dr.
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Cheyenne Bryant.
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Don't call it Dr.
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Not Dad.
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I don't know what else to call it.
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There you go.
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Yes, Cheyenne Bryant, yes.
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Some people in our comments were calling her Dr.
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Dre and Dr.
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Pepper.
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Yes, okay.
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Okay, uh some other folks uh were in the comments saying um, as someone who has relied on therapists and counselors for a lot of childhood past trauma, I definitely go to a licensed professional for a reason.
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Well, the fact that she has had uh some pushback.
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Some pushback has has amazed me as as well.
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And what we were talking about last week was the fact that this particular personality who has been giving uh advice, mental mental health advice, uh relationship advice, and she calls herself a doctor, but she is not credentialed with the uh appropriate licensing.
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And stands in it because she went on the Breakfast Club uh after our podcast um this past week, and they were asking her, because this had been a point of discussion for a while, and she was like, No, I will not do it.
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I do not need it.
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It's not necessary for the type of therapy I would provide.
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She did the pushback.
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And when you talk about the type of therapy that one provides, you're really talking about the needs of the general public.
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You're not talking about yourself and what you want to do, you're talking about what they need and what you should be providing.
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So that uh she was pushing back.
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I would pushing back in a different way had I been talking to him.
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That was a part of the criticism that the breath of that the Breakfast Club got.
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They were like, uh, Charlemagne should have been there because y'all were not asking her all the right questions.
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You weren't pushing back in the right type of way, uh, because that did push back.
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And I listened, obviously, I listened to a bunch of different podcasts, and one of them were they were talking about how um if she were credentialed, she would know that giving hugs is not appropriate.
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Because that's one of the things that she said when in her pushback, that after, you know, she's talked to a lot of people who deal with a lot of trauma, and you know, at the end sometimes they just need a hug.
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And folks who are credentialed were like, uh, oh my gosh.
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Well, uh, I've been to um some therapists though in my life.
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Yeah, we both have uh issues, and I don't remember any session of even when I had been challenged by some of the things that I've been going through, and I had the tears and the tissue box and all my but the therapist didn't stop and give me a hug.
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Now I uh and I think there's a reason for that.
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Well because you also go to credential people.
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Yes.
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Well but I know better.
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Oh, yeah, you yes, you you are a hugging person.
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So, but anyway, okay.
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Another person said it's just all a money grab for her.
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Well, it appears that she's not being authentic, and so what one could take away from that is that it's a money grab.
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Um but the fact that she's been challenged and she says, No, I'm not going to uh back off.
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Okay.
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Yeah, I mean, um correct.
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I actually don't know there's much more we can say than what we said uh last week.
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I will just read I mean the comments were hilarious.
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You all are hilarious.
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Um, and so I'll just read this last power that baby laugh that we didn't and move on to other things.
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Um this person says, I'm guessing Cheyenne Bryant is just all cap and no gown.
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Oh, that is funny.
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Yeah, I mean, yeah, lots of okay lots of jokes, lots of uh also people though, um talking about the dangers of not being licensed in your particular field.
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So which I I believe that if we are talking just across the board and we are thinking about how important it is to have your medical professionals to be fully credentialed to make sure that they have gone to school, then we feel better about the services they're providing.
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Yes.
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Even in this particular time, 2026, when you can go on the internet and get just about credentialed for anything and everything, you still want to make sure that you're being well taken care of and respect your profession.
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That's true.
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Which is why some of the professions, yeah, why some of the professionals came back and said, you know, this is just inappropriate.
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They started calling her out.
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Oh, oh yes, yes.
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So we are not the only ones.
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No, no, we're not for sure.
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Um so I was laughing in our comments a little bit, but something else that happened this past week that some folks found hilarious, other folks did not think it was funny at all, was the Kevin Hart roast on Netflix.
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Did you happen to see it?
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Well, when you told me that that was going to be a topic that you uh would like for us to talk about today, I thought Because everybody's talking about it.
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Uh well, I know that's what you said.
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It's all over the internet and people are responding to it.
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And so I said, okay, I will take some time and I will watch it.
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It was very long, three hours.
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I didn't get all the I understand not getting all the way through to the end.
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But yes, I did take a take a look at it, and I was totally confused.
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So let me just say that I've been to roasts through various times of my life.
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Okay.
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I've seen other roasts on television.
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I didn't understand uh a roast in the in the atmosphere mega arena, and he had individual, there were individuals uh sitting on the stage.
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So I was just really confused by the production and the format of how they went about this roast.
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Um needless to say, the content disturbed me uh as well.
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You and you and some other folks.
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In terms of their production of it all, that's a part of the criticism that the roast has received, and that folks were like, this wasn't really a a roast.
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It was a great, it wasn't a great roast.
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It seemed like it was for Netflix and their producers.
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It seemed like it was just like a celebrity party, and it also seemed like um the jokes weren't were there.
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The jokes weren't um as substantive as they could have been or should have been if this was truly going to be a roast.
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I I I so agree with you.
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That's why I was confused and I I kept wondering now this was late at night.
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I would have called you and said, why do why do I need to watch this?
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Have I watched enough?
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Can we Yes, because uh I'm not quite understanding this, but it uh made me do a deeper dive though, um, because the first Netflix roast was uh on Tom Brady.
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Right.
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And uh Kevin Hart was one of the individuals who roasted Tom Brady, and he was one of the producers of the Netflix uh original.
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This was in 2024 when they had the first.
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And he's a he was a producer on this one too.
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And so I think he signed a deal where he's going to produce them or be one of the producers moving forward.
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Okay, then agreeing to to even do it.
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Okay, well, it it um is a just a strange format for all the reasons that you said, and um the the mix of people on the roast who were roasting uh Tom Brady last year, they said Kim Kardashian was one, and the comments from the one in 2024 said that they didn't understand why she was one of the individuals roasting.
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And I thought that's the way I felt about the 2026 one.
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Yeah.
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I I think that's a part of the power of a roast is that you have people who truly know know you, have been on a journey with you who can roast you about things truly about you.
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Like, I cannot believe there were so many jokes about him being short.
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That's how that's how surface it was.
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It's like really, like everybody knows that.
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Then like it's such a low-hanging fruit.
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But then I also thought it was really telling that so many people got up there and they were like, I'm just here because I got paid.
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Like, I was like honest.
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They were very honest about that.
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And I I wondered, I said, maybe that's why the people did the roast of the Tomberini roast fleet, the original on top of so they're not even because a part I thought also a part of a roast was like, okay, I know this person enough to roast them, but then we also just have a great relationship.
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I want to support them.
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This is a part of their PR moment, all of that.
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It was very clear to me that these people were like, I don't really know.
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Well, actually, some of them said, I don't really know why I'm here, but I'm here because I got paid.
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Let me read these jokes that were written by other writers.
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These jokes.
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Like what you would go to a roast and say, Let me read these jokes.
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So um it and it wasn't even a celebrity party.
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I mean, it wasn't it didn't appear to be something that was wonderful and outstanding in terms of no no content, we have a lack of content.
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But they weren't connected to him in a certain way.
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Right.
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It was yeah, they they had seen his movies, maybe.
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They had seen him perform, maybe.
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And some of many of the jokes were similar.
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That's what I kept thinking, in addition to him being short.
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Um and I'm I'm telling you, I can I say with the exception of two people for me.
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Okay, all right.
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One being Cat Williams.
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I thought his segment was hilarious.
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He knows Kevin Hart, though.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Well that's your point.
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They have folks up there that aren't even comedians and decided, well, and they weren't able to perform because again, that's not their lane.
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They're perfor Usher, Lizzo.
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I mean, uh anyway.
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Um, so I thought that Cat Williams was hilarious and did a good job.
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I do not believe that they truly made up, but again, I think that was all for the network and the PR that it didn't um and then I also thought Regina Hall did uh a really good job as well.
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The um oh the comedian that uh the African-American woman that Oh Sheryl Underwood Cheryl Underwood, I thought she appeared to know him and uh and I thought she was funny.
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But then I didn't know if if it was real.
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Yeah, because right, all that other fake stuff.
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That's exactly right.
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Um because she talked about their relationship and uh so I thought I wonder if she really had a relationship with him or and also when they put the camera on Kevin Hart's face at different times, he seemed to be um not entertained in the some of the the jokes, but he also seemed to be a little confused about things that they were saying.
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Really?
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Some of the some of the the uh the jokes that were not funny but I don't know.
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I just didn't think it was well done.
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So I wonder how it it has has um been received for Netflix and if they find it to be a found it to be a success.
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Oh, I think Netflix absolutely found it to be a success because it's gotten the views, it's gotten the engagement, it's getting conversation now, conversation going, they're gonna want to know like what's the next one.
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Um but I also think that not only were the jokes not funny and not only were they I mean some of the dosha funny in math weren't funny, but then also they were trying to think of the right language, was it offensive to offensive to the African American population because Shane Gillis, who was like the the host in in terms of uh introducing people and and all of that.
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He wasn't funny.
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No, well he wasn't funny, but he also I think told some inappropriate jokes in in in terms of black people.
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Uh when he was talking about um something about low-hanging fruit, and he was talking about uh lynching lynching that that was not uh appropriate, and I was offended by that.
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There were some jokes about abortion that I can't imagine that they would have in this kind of setting, uh, period.
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That's what I was gonna say about Netflix as well.
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It appeared that the writers who were writing these jokes, uh, they were doing it for the catchiness of it and for the potential.
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Yeah, the shock value and the potential virality of it versus it being like true substantive comedic jokes.
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And there is a way, like I I struggled with the word offensive because I think good comedy can still be offensive, but it has to be, first of all, who's saying it matters, but it also has to, there has to be like a little bit of storytelling.
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That's what I appreciate about Regina Hall's set.
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There has to be some storytelling behind it.
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There has to be some again some substance there, not just oh, Lynch black people, oh this person's dark skin, oh, okay, like it's like what it what?
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Yes.
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Um, Chelsea Handler, uh, I thought did an okay job in I do like Chelsea Handler.
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Yes.
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Uh and she appeared to know something uh about Kevin Hart.
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They're friends.
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They are they are good friends.
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Yeah.
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Well, I could you can tell on that space.
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Tell who was or not.
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Um, but I I guess all in all, if it's making Netflix some money, I guess, then um maybe they would find it successful.
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But I did not care for it at all.
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And so I didn't um I would say I didn't care for it at all.
00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:27.440
There are parts that I found entertaining.
00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:42.240
Uh I the the offensiveness and the lack of substance of the racial jokes, I thought was very telling of who was on the stage because these the folks who made them, this was not their first time making jokes around race without me substance.
00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:46.559
Like um Tony Henchcliffe, who I had to look up because I had never heard of him before.
00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:56.400
And I was like, clearly he's like a MAGA Trump person, but he um has said other prints of things, not just about the black community, but about Asian community and Latino community.
00:17:57.039 --> 00:18:08.000
Um but uh the fact the George Floyd quote unquote joke um was the one that really got the most backlash.
00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:09.440
It was it bombed it.
00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:10.559
It bombed, yes.
00:18:10.799 --> 00:18:12.720
It bombed in the room, right?
00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:14.240
Um, is what folks said.
00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:25.279
But then also George Floyd's family members have come out and talked about how hurtful it was because the George Floyd has nothing to do with Kevin Hart.
00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:29.359
So why was he even a part of the overall joke making?
00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:41.680
And uh yeah, I mean, I just it's to to talk about people who have passed away that have nothing to do with anything that's supposed, it just again, it just it was offensive for no reason.
00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:44.000
Then I think Netflix wanted the clicks.
00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:49.440
Perhaps I was actually thinking about what my mother would say about something like this.
00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:58.000
Mom who could sit in any kind of room and um be able to, I think, take most things and uh she had a sense of humor.
00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:04.400
I think she would say, um, what was the purpose and ultimately what did this accomplish?
00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:06.480
So I'll go back to your original point.
00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:10.160
If the purpose was to make money, then I guess they accomplished that.
00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:14.640
But arts and entertainment need to have more substance.
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:17.279
There needs to be a reason why it exists.
00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:18.640
I'm not sure that I've got to do that.
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:20.079
Some depth and authenticity.
00:19:20.240 --> 00:19:20.480
Yes.
00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:31.680
I mean, one of the things that uh folks were joking about, which I guess is uh how a lot of people feel, is that Kevin Hart is an ongoing sellout with no real ties to the black community.
00:19:31.839 --> 00:19:40.880
And actually, folks point out they're like, what this should have been like a deaf comedy jam because he has relationships with some of these uh you know black comedic powerhouses.
00:19:41.119 --> 00:19:41.200
Yes.
00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:42.319
Where was Eddie Murphy?
00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:42.559
Yes.
00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:44.000
You know, right.
00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:46.559
Where were these people who really could have brought it?
00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:48.720
Um, so that that was right.
00:19:49.279 --> 00:19:58.079
They brought it in an authentic way, but also I think would understand what the the meaning is of a roast and how you're supposed to go about it.
00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:00.799
And they would have written their own scripts.
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:01.039
Yeah.
00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:02.000
So it does.
00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:02.799
And that's true.
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:07.279
Um, but I think Kevin Hart also got what it is, whatever he wanted out of it.
00:20:07.359 --> 00:20:14.720
Because at the end, he he ran down all this various corporate sponsors and was very into like, hey, I make a lot of money, I'm here for the money.
00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:16.000
These are all the people that pay me.
00:20:16.079 --> 00:20:18.160
So the people who he said that at the end of the row.
00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:22.559
Yeah, yeah, remember he no, no, remember, I went to I went to I went to sleep.
00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:24.400
I could I couldn't take it anymore.
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:32.079
So it that's hilarious at a certain level that I will continue to keep my wide awake.
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:33.519
Understood, understood.
00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:41.519
Well, you you didn't miss anything, but yes, at the end he yeah, he listed off all of his sponsors, Verizon, Chase, uh blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:42.559
Netflix included.
00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:43.359
Oh, okay.
00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:46.720
Well, we can move on if you'd like.
00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:48.799
You're over talking about the yet.
00:20:50.480 --> 00:20:51.680
He just I I don't think.
00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:55.119
He didn't he certainly didn't didn't score any points with us.
00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:59.039
Uh I had a bad reception of him prior to exactly.
00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:00.160
I did as well.
00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:13.599
And I I think time and uh opportunity to be able to use other people's times, whether they're sitting time, if they're sitting and watching something, uh, I think can be better spent than watching uh the uh Kevin Hart Wells.
00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:16.960
Yeah, I also didn't know why there were people up there that didn't talk at all.
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:20.640
Like Tiffany Haddish, who we're about to get into uh in a second.
00:21:20.720 --> 00:21:21.359
She was she was there.
00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:23.839
I was like, oh, I wonder what she's gonna She said nothing.
00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:25.839
Yeah, I'm like so anyway.
00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:27.519
Maybe she can make remain for us.
00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:34.880
Maybe she was there to be able to be paid because she had another new gig that uh she's been out touting.
00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:36.000
So how about that?
00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:42.799
She is one of the new Sports Illustrated cover models, which surprised me.
00:21:42.960 --> 00:21:45.279
It surprised I think it surprised her.
00:21:47.359 --> 00:21:56.160
It surprised a lot of people, but um, so there are four new cover models for this 2026 issue of Sports Illustrated.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.759
Hilary Duff, um, who we like.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:00.240
Her.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:05.039
I was younger in that show younger that she did, but also as yeah, well done.
00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:05.440
Yeah.
00:22:05.519 --> 00:22:06.799
Um her pictures look great.
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:09.440
She listened to you.
00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:10.880
Her pictures look yeah.
00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:12.319
I'm not I'm not gonna go through everybody's pictures.
00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:13.039
Alex Earl.
00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:21.440
You probably haven't heard of no, I was not familiar with a social media influencer who has been in the news for having beef with Alex from Call Her Daddy.
00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:22.480
Oh, oh, oh.
00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:24.640
Was she one of the originals?
00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:29.039
The uh the No She wasn't no no no, she was not the the past co-host.
00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:40.240
She was somebody that Alex Cooper had brought uh into her new network and they were doing a bunch of things and then something happened and they haven't really talked about it.
00:22:40.480 --> 00:22:40.720
Okay.
00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:44.480
Uh, but they've well, Alex Earl has been talking about it a little bit.
00:22:44.640 --> 00:22:46.240
Alex Cooper hasn't really responded.
00:22:46.319 --> 00:22:50.799
So there's kind of like that what really happened type thing, but that's been she ghosting her.
00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:52.160
Did you hear me?
00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:55.039
I used that word appropriately.
00:22:55.440 --> 00:22:55.759
You did.
00:22:57.359 --> 00:22:57.759
You did.
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:02.640
I have to just, you know, pat myself on the back there because sometimes I go, What are you all talking about?
00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:03.759
Yeah.
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:09.440
I actually know what you're talking about because of this, you know, the younger generation, they have a whole language that I'm like, say why not?
00:23:09.599 --> 00:23:09.920
They do.
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:10.400
Uh-huh.
00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:19.039
Uh, and the other person is Nicole Williams English, who's a model who I became familiar with because she was on a show on BH1 called Wags.
00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:19.519
Okay.
00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:22.480
Wives and Girlfriends of Professional Athletes.
00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:22.880
Oh.
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:25.839
And uh yes, those are the four.
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:35.440
But the one we're gonna focus on is Tiffany Haddish because she is uh the first comedian to ever be featured, not just on a cover, but period in Sports Illustrated.
00:23:35.680 --> 00:23:37.279
Oh, I didn't know first comedian.
00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:39.039
First comedian, yeah.
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:43.039
And the uh the fourth black person on a cover cover.
00:23:44.000 --> 00:24:00.480
And um in her press runs around this, she was talking about the legacy uh and what this truly means to her because her grandmother was a model in California uh back in her day, and she was one of the first black models um to integrate the space.
00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:01.759
How cool is that?
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:09.839
My grandmother would be so proud and so shocked, and she was just talking about how she was missing um being able to share this moment with her.
00:24:10.079 --> 00:24:10.240
Okay.
00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:12.799
I was like, oh, that's we definitely understand that.
00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:13.680
Yeah, relatable.
00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:17.279
We talk about um your grandmother, we we talk about that often.
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:28.000
And well, good for her having not only a legacy moment, but taking the opportunity to connect it to someone who was meaningful to her in the past.
00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:28.720
I think so.
00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:36.000
Now, I have to say a shout out to Sports Illustrated because they seem to be going and doing very well with this new trend.
00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:46.079
You know, last year they decided to do this whole spread, and they had uh individuals of various ages and they had Martha Stewart uh come on, and you know, it was a big deal.
00:24:46.240 --> 00:24:46.480
Yeah.
00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:56.960
So I think there's a message here that Sports Illustrated is trying to uh to create in terms of sports and not just for the male population.
00:24:57.119 --> 00:25:08.880
Sports Illustrated in terms of its uh signature feature every year can have some substance and in Tiffany's case can really mean something in terms of the legacy.
00:25:09.039 --> 00:25:12.079
I wonder how her agent sold that particular opportunity.
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:14.720
So she told him or her, too.
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:23.440
Like, okay, so she uh has been wanting to model um in sports illustrated for as long as she could remember.
00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:29.119
So as a little girl, which is how she was able to talk about the conversation she would have with her grandmother around this.
00:25:29.200 --> 00:25:31.359
And her grandmother would make your t-shirt.
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:37.599
Her grandmother told her, listen, uh my mother was 4'11, say.
00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:38.319
Oh, yeah.
00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:41.119
How to talk about height very much.
00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:42.400
Yeah, I understand.
00:25:42.640 --> 00:25:44.319
We love you, we miss you, but okay, go on there.
00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:45.519
Yeah.
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:51.680
And uh so Tiffany Haddish was a track and field star um doing shock butt.
00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:52.480
Okay, wow.
00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:53.759
Oh, so she has some power.
00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:54.799
She has some power.
00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:55.279
Okay.
00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:57.839
And she's funny when she talks about it too, as you can imagine.
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:01.680
Uh so that's how she thought she was gonna get into sports illustrated through being an athlete.
00:26:01.839 --> 00:26:02.079
Right.
00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:03.519
Uh that would make sense.
00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:03.920
Yes.
00:26:04.079 --> 00:26:06.240
And she was like, that's not what happened.
00:26:06.400 --> 00:26:08.079
You know, went in another direction.
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:14.240
And so I just never knew how um, you know, I just never knew if it was gonna be a possibility for me or not.
00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:23.200
But then she got new representation and she knew that Sports Illustrated was going in this new direction that you just kind of outlined.
00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:27.359
Um, and or they were also doing like a call for models, and she was like, put my name in it.
00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:30.079
Like she called her agents, like, I saw this, put my name in it.
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:31.519
And they were like, Is it not really in here?
00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:32.720
Put my name in it.
00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:33.599
I love it.
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:34.240
I know.
00:26:34.319 --> 00:26:34.880
I love it too.
00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:38.160
Okay, so I think that's a great lesson, great life lesson.
00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:38.720
It is.
00:26:38.960 --> 00:26:45.279
Don't allow something like your height to keep you from uh being able to at least pursue your dreams.
00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:45.599
Yeah.
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:54.079
I also think that stepping outside the comfort zone and trying something new and different, something adventurous, is something that we truly believe in.
00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:57.119
We think that that is a part of what life should be all about.
00:26:57.359 --> 00:26:57.759
Yes.
00:26:58.079 --> 00:26:58.400
Yes.
00:26:58.640 --> 00:26:59.839
I agree.
00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:06.319
When they when she did the announcement, she was with Paris Hilton and some other folks who unfortunately I can't remember.
00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:11.680
Um, but I remembered that because, first of all, I didn't know that they were good friends, but by what I know.
00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:15.119
Uh, but I more so I didn't.
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:19.440
She talked about how whenever she's with Paris Hilton, her dreams come true.
00:27:19.680 --> 00:27:30.079
And that Paris Hilton has been a person in her life that has shown her how to manifest and be intentional and really kind of follow your dreams.
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:34.400
And so it made me think I was like, mm-hmm, people in my life were like, that's the reality.
00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:36.480
Like I'm around them and then my dreams come true.
00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:36.960
Type thing.
00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:37.680
It's a cool thing.
00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:41.440
It's just lie, she has people in her life like because she's had a she's had a storied life.
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:45.680
She has, and I'm glad she's getting this good PR moment because it's been a rough couple years for a typical magic.
00:27:45.839 --> 00:27:49.359
She has a um as an actress.
00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:58.160
Um, I think she has some skills and talents, but I haven't found her to be one of the actresses that I would just follow if there was a league she was in.
00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:04.160
But this manifested moment, I think, is uh a lesson for for us all.
00:28:04.319 --> 00:28:21.359
Now, I'm a little interested in how she went about uh this relationship with Paris Hilton because that's not normally Paris Hilton's uh group of friends that you hear that are outdoing things in the world, but you know, the it's a different kind of vibe.
00:28:21.599 --> 00:28:22.799
Yeah, it is a different vibe.
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:23.599
Pretty cool.
00:28:23.839 --> 00:28:24.960
Yeah, who knew, really?
00:28:25.039 --> 00:28:27.519
Um, like I said, I I was like, oh, really?
00:28:27.759 --> 00:28:30.079
Um yeah, who knew?
00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:40.799
But uh I was glad for her to have this positive moment for the reasons that we talked about, because generally speaking, I I do kind of struggle with some of the past controversies of Tiffany Haddish.
00:28:41.119 --> 00:28:53.519
Um, but if she is, in fact, kind of making a change and she's talked about her charity work, which doesn't undo some of the past challenges that we appreciate folks who are who are trying to be better because this is all you can do every day is just try to be better.
00:28:53.839 --> 00:28:56.799
And uh so shout out to her trying to be better.
00:28:56.880 --> 00:29:03.200
Yeah, stay off the stage at the uh Kevin Hart Rose and I mean you can I guess you have better not say anything.
00:29:03.519 --> 00:29:05.759
Oh, that's the bottle that she's a cover girl.
00:29:05.920 --> 00:29:06.480
Oh, she's a cover girl.
00:29:07.440 --> 00:29:09.039
Yes, uh she can sit there and be praying.
00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:12.160
Okay, okay, and and um men appreciate cover girls.
00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:14.799
So uh and I guess some women do too now.
00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:17.039
That's what Sports Illustrated is trying to do.
00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:24.079
You know, she actually had a whole um series on Prime, like Amazon Prime.
00:29:24.160 --> 00:29:26.640
I think it was on Amazon Prime, which I did not watch.
00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:31.279
Uh, but again, they were talking about it where she married herself.
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:37.039
I just when you talked about men, this made me think of like Tiffany Haddish and her relationships.
00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:44.559
Uh somebody did have Yes in this this press tour around this, and they were like, Didn't you marry yourself?
00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:51.519
And she was like, Yes, because if I don't love me, um, then who will you know type that I remember read it?
00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:53.039
That was a while ago, you know, quite a while ago.
00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:54.079
Yeah, it was a while ago.
00:29:54.319 --> 00:29:59.839
And uh I remember when I was reading that, I was thinking, you know, how do you do that?
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:15.680
But then in the article, it went into the fact of not only the self-love, but also she wanted to make a public statement about how she was feeling about herself because of some of the past challenges of some of the things that that she had been engaged in.
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:16.559
I had forgotten that.
00:30:16.799 --> 00:30:21.839
Well, I mean, I had to, it's it's it's uh but it's come up because of this new kind of IPR.
00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:27.039
You think I would have that makes that story pop up and some others.
00:30:27.359 --> 00:30:27.599
Okay.
00:30:28.079 --> 00:30:32.000
And she has a new agent, so uh or agency, so I'm representing her.
00:30:32.079 --> 00:30:33.759
So that that that's uh that's a good thing.
00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:36.559
Um Tiffany, we wish you well.
00:30:36.720 --> 00:30:46.480
We want you to make better light decisions, and um, you know, let's just keep moving it forward and hopefully you'll manifest some other things that uh beneficial to you, her light.
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:48.799
Yeah, to society in general.
00:30:49.119 --> 00:30:49.359
Yeah.
00:30:49.759 --> 00:30:53.839
Congratulations on being sports illustrated and cover girl, because it's not an easy thing to do.
00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:54.480
No, no.
00:30:54.720 --> 00:31:02.240
She talked about how she um to prepare, I'm sure she did more than this, but how she wore weighted vests and walked her dog.
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:05.039
I am confident she did more than that.
00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:08.640
Well, you you know, you've tried the weighted vests.
00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:10.720
That's why that's why I latched onto it.
00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:12.799
I was like, oh, that is a tough workout.
00:31:13.279 --> 00:31:17.920
Yeah, but didn't you give that weighted vest thing up after a few tires?
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:18.880
Too heavy.
00:31:19.039 --> 00:31:19.519
That's what it was.
00:31:19.599 --> 00:31:21.839
I should have started uh at a lower weight.
00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:22.240
Okay.
00:31:22.480 --> 00:31:33.680
So actually, if you are downstairs at our home and I have like the weights laid out because I even I am going to get back into the weighted vest of it all because it does make a difference and it does kind of push your body in a different type of way.
00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:35.440
And and Tiffany's inspiring you?
00:31:35.680 --> 00:31:35.920
No.
00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:40.799
Um yeah.
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:42.400
Relatable in terms of the weighted vest.
00:31:42.559 --> 00:31:43.359
I have well not the dog.
00:31:43.519 --> 00:31:45.519
I have not tried the the weighted vest.
00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:55.200
So uh after you told me about your experience, I thought I can hardly get up that he'll just walking and with my little five Yeah, with the bam weights.
00:31:55.599 --> 00:31:59.759
Weights on my wrist and sometimes on my ankles, and you're about a weighted vest.
00:31:59.920 --> 00:32:02.079
Why do I why would I want to put myself through that?
00:32:02.240 --> 00:32:02.640
That's funny.
00:32:02.799 --> 00:32:02.960
Okay.
00:32:03.119 --> 00:32:04.480
Maybe at some point you'll get there.
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:05.759
You mean get up the hill?
00:32:05.839 --> 00:32:06.160
Yes.
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:06.960
I can do that.
00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:07.839
You've done the hill.
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:08.559
I've done the hill.
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:09.839
Yeah, yeah, you've done the hill.
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:10.240
Yes.
00:32:10.480 --> 00:32:20.480
So we usually um don't really talk about politics intentionally on this podcast.
00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:39.599
We um like to make it a a happier, more joyful, more life lessons um time that we sum with our audience versus digging into the the circus that is politics on an ongoing basis, but certainly our reality now.
00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:45.359
However, uh there's uh such a time as this.
00:32:45.680 --> 00:33:00.720
And some of the things that we are, many of the things that we are witnessing as it pertains to not just us as citizens, but also us as black people in the United States could not go um any further, we felt, without us making mention of it.
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:16.960
In particular, we are talking about the the target, the targeted black voter suppression that's happening, particularly in the South, around the country, but particularly in the South, as a result of the Supreme Court gutting the Voting Rights Act.
00:33:17.359 --> 00:33:25.680
The Supreme Court gutting the Voting Rights Act was something that John Lewis, Congressman John Lewis, was really concerned about.
00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:36.880
He was concerned that it was not only something coming up that would have to have a really strong push forward to continue.
00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:39.440
And I remember thinking, what is he talking about?
00:33:39.599 --> 00:33:40.799
I mean the voting rights act.
00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:52.160
Well, because he knows the power of voting, and he was also a part of us gaining the right to have the bows of he remembered a time when that was not the case.
00:33:52.400 --> 00:34:00.079
And so he was really having voice to the possibility, but not enough people, I believe, took it seriously.
00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:00.720
Clearly.
00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:06.000
Not enough people believed that we could have these rights taken away from us.
00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:15.599
And now here we are at this time, and they are really purposefully taking our our rights away.
00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:26.239
And I say our rights, the rights of people of color, the rights of um women, and the rights of um people who don't have the resources, poorer people.
00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:26.800
That's true.
00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:35.599
And so, and it's going to impact the future of all of us and all of our children and grandchildren uh in into the future.
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:42.719
And when you look at why this has happened, you begin to say, you know what, I I can't believe this is happening in my lifetime.
00:34:42.880 --> 00:34:46.079
After having Barack Obama as the first black president.
00:34:46.400 --> 00:34:48.320
Some would argue that's why.
00:34:48.559 --> 00:34:48.880
Right?
00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:54.159
It's a reaction to the fact that there was, in fact, a black president.
00:34:54.480 --> 00:35:06.079
And uh, I actually remember that it was uh at work, actually, where a where one of my supervisors told me that racism was over because Barack Obama had become president.
00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:08.719
And I was like, oh no, you're not a true ally.
00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:11.199
I logged that away and I'll never forget it.
00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:16.159
Although I had heard that rhetoric more broadly, um, I was like, oh gosh, is that what people think?
00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:23.920
And yes, for sure that is what some people uh think, but that was not his experience in the presidency.
00:35:24.239 --> 00:35:24.480
No.
00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:28.880
It would, and it's it was not our experience as black people more broadly either.
00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:31.199
Well, it's uh it's deeper than that.
00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:38.000
And it's it's more intentional than uh just Barack Obama becoming uh the first black president.
00:35:38.159 --> 00:35:47.599
It really has to do with the idea of some people believing that even though we're all Americans, we all should not have the same rights.
00:35:47.760 --> 00:35:50.159
And that's back that goes all the way back to slavery.
00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:59.679
When you th when you understand that some people felt like that black people were not equal to the white majority population.
00:36:00.079 --> 00:36:01.679
It's rooted in the foundation of this country.
00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:02.480
Yes, it is.
00:36:03.039 --> 00:36:08.320
And that's what has surfaced again and again, which is as it will until this is truly dealt with.
00:36:08.639 --> 00:36:11.519
Yes, why we continue to have to fight and and move forward.
00:36:11.920 --> 00:36:31.039
I I just I remember um my mother and father talking about when you have an opportunity to do better, whether it's in education or when you have an opportunity to be able to move into a a neighborhood that you want to move into, you all you know that there are going to be people who are going to fight against that.
00:36:31.199 --> 00:36:38.079
There are going to be people who are going to push back on you having the same kind of rights as as they had.
00:36:38.400 --> 00:36:40.559
And that's what this reminds me of.
00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:51.039
But even in a day when we have the internet and we have 24-hour news on several different stations, there are a lot of people who are not aware of how impactful this is.
00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:57.199
I think that's a part of the reason why we wanted to to talk about this, because there's you talked about people just didn't know.
00:36:57.360 --> 00:37:03.039
I would still argue that most people uh I think are just not aware.
00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:09.119
And or they don't know what to do because it feels so overwhelming.
00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:18.079
Um, but there there remains a real lack of civic education, and there remains a real lack of um knowing voting power.
00:37:18.239 --> 00:37:36.480
I mean, we're in this situation because of the results of the past elections, you know, which is what gave the Supreme, which is what caused the current makeup of the Supreme Court, which has caused the current makeup of the state houses, which has caused, you know, this presidency and kind of all of the impacts for today and for tomorrow's.
00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:50.320
Um and so I just I didn't want us to uh continue to have this platform without at least acknowledging the fact that we know the importance of civic education.
00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:56.320
We are aware of what's going on more broadly around voter suppression efforts.
00:37:56.639 --> 00:38:02.719
And we are along with the rest of you, trying to figure out how best to fight that.
00:38:03.119 --> 00:38:06.400
What we can do to be able to make a difference in in this situation.
00:38:06.559 --> 00:38:17.360
And for those of you who are not aware of what's going on, uh black majority uh or black opportunity districts are being dismantled and weakened, particularly in the South.
00:38:17.519 --> 00:38:45.360
Black voters are being um put into fewer districts by um the redistricting or remapping of certain circumstances within their states, uh court protections that once stopped these kind of maps um that are weakening um our participation in the voting process are not uh doing their job in kinds of well, that's what happens when the voting rights act is gutted.
00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:48.480
That's why it matters who is on the Supreme Court.
00:38:48.559 --> 00:38:51.840
But it took a really long time to get the Voting Rights Act fast.
00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:56.400
Um and this was they they've weakened it over time.
00:38:56.800 --> 00:39:00.480
Um, but this this last punch is it's a big one.
00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:04.400
And it's to your point, it's what has caused the ability to redistrict.
00:39:04.559 --> 00:39:23.840
And as a result of the redistricting, they are systematically taking out members of the Congressional Black Caucus, um, and um also being as overt as in local elections, having local folks win and then taking away the actually let me let me pull up the story.
00:39:24.719 --> 00:39:36.480
While you're looking at that story on most recently in Louisiana, the lawmakers are actively trying to eliminate one of the state's two majority black congressional district.
00:39:36.639 --> 00:39:56.159
The districts um most affected are currently being represented by uh Congressman um Cleo Fields, and the proposed map would remove the black majority um from his district and shift toward a wider and more Republican electorate.
00:39:56.239 --> 00:40:02.880
And so that's happened, that has happened in Louisiana, and we know it's happening in other southern districts around the country.
00:40:03.199 --> 00:40:20.480
The the the case I was referring to was uh Louisiana clerk Calvin Duncan, um, who he was exonerated um after being falsely imprisoned and uh won won his election hands down.
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:20.880
Okay.
00:40:21.119 --> 00:40:33.199
Folks were excited for him to have this opportunity to become uh a clerk and the Republican lawmakers immediately, as soon as he won, introduced legislation to eliminate the entire office that he had just won.
00:40:33.519 --> 00:40:37.920
And so those are the types of stories that we are seeing bubbling up on an ongoing basis.
00:40:38.079 --> 00:40:48.159
I feel like it's on a daily basis, maybe it's on a weekly basis, but um, in addition to the redistricting that's occurring, there um just other things at play.
00:40:48.400 --> 00:40:55.440
And so we just want to take the time to to let you all know that uh that this is happening.
00:40:55.519 --> 00:41:03.760
If for some reason you're you're not aware um that there remains power in the vote in this upcoming midterms, these upcoming elections matter.
00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:05.840
We just had a round of local elections.
00:41:06.159 --> 00:41:06.880
Yes, absolutely.
00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:08.880
Um, so I hope that you all participated.
00:41:09.039 --> 00:41:12.880
The percentages uh didn't necessarily reflect that, but there is hopeful.
00:41:13.679 --> 00:41:15.039
There is hope for the future.
00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:20.480
Like please, please, please do not sit this out like what happened in the last election.
00:41:20.960 --> 00:41:26.639
Well, we do know that project um 2025 was something that is being implemented.
00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:28.800
Word for word, page by page.
00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:36.320
And so if you're not familiar with that, that was something that came out during the last presidential campaign, and people ignored it.
00:41:36.400 --> 00:41:42.480
And you go back and you refer to it, you find that it is, as um Donakan just said, it's being implemented page by page.
00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:44.239
And so all of this is intentional.
00:41:44.800 --> 00:42:03.280
And it's intentionally going to be more challenging for uh the populations in this country that are not a part of the top one percent or two percent, because the wealthy are getting wealthier, but the rest of the folks are not being able to benefit uh by uh all of these challenges and changes that are taking.
00:42:04.000 --> 00:42:04.159
Yeah.
00:42:04.480 --> 00:42:04.639
Yeah.
00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:05.039
Okay.
00:42:05.199 --> 00:42:20.239
Anything else on that before we well, I just wanted to say that uh if you don't understand or know about what gerrymandering is, uh then please pay some attention to that because that's what's happening uh in your communities and in your states, district by district.
00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:25.760
Uh I also looked up what was occurring in the state of Ohio because that's where we live.
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:53.760
And uh it's it's not uh as bad as Louisiana or the South, but it is uh very impactful in terms of our state government, in terms of our our districting, and it is going to impact the uh health and service health uh rights for women in uh in our state and making sure that we are not only aware, but making sure that we are informed of who the political candidates are.
00:42:54.000 --> 00:42:54.320
Yeah.
00:42:54.480 --> 00:43:02.559
Well, I think it's being targeted in the South because over 50% of the black population um in the US is still in the South, right?
00:43:02.800 --> 00:43:05.840
And there is immense power in the South.
00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:07.360
I don't always utilize it.
00:43:07.519 --> 00:43:18.000
Uh, but uh, but there are efforts to, and so there's again, I for all of my challenges um with well, I have several challenges with our two-party system.
00:43:18.079 --> 00:43:21.440
I I struggle with both the Democratic Party and the Republican Party.
00:43:21.599 --> 00:43:29.280
One thing I will say for the Republican Party, though, even though I do not agree with their values, um, they play the long game.
00:43:29.519 --> 00:43:29.920
They do.
00:43:30.079 --> 00:43:32.960
They they strategize, they have, and this is for years.
00:43:33.119 --> 00:43:33.440
Yeah.
00:43:33.679 --> 00:43:40.960
They have um planned ahead, they pick and choose their candidates, they raise them up, they send them to school.
00:43:41.119 --> 00:43:50.559
If you if you look at the judicial system, how we have gotten in the place that we are now, the very, very challenging place that we are now, it was all predicted and then it was planned.
00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:59.760
So they were paying for the education of uh certain individuals to go to law school so that they could be lawyers and then be put into.
00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:01.199
The judicial system.
00:44:01.440 --> 00:44:04.320
This has been going on for several years.
00:44:04.480 --> 00:44:12.000
And now we find ourselves in a place where not only have these things been implemented, but it's um it's sort of a scary situation.
00:44:13.039 --> 00:44:14.719
You used to work on Capitol Hill.
00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:25.599
Um, and are these kinds of conversations um relevant conversations to what you and your colleagues used to talk about when when you were in the Congresswoman's office?
00:44:25.840 --> 00:44:29.679
So there's a separation um between policy and politics.
00:44:29.920 --> 00:44:32.079
Uh there tries to be.
00:44:32.239 --> 00:44:35.440
There was more of a separation when I was there than what exists now.
00:44:35.519 --> 00:44:42.159
And what I mean by that is members of Congress spend part of their time legislating on Capitol Hill.
00:44:42.239 --> 00:44:52.719
They spend more and more time back in their districts or at different events around the country raising money so that they can uh function and they can run their elections.
00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:53.039
Right.
00:44:53.199 --> 00:45:02.960
And because of, again, some past Supreme Court decisions, uh, you know, you have to be able to raise a ton of money in order to be able to run uh for federal office.
00:45:03.119 --> 00:45:09.519
And so I was responsible for legislating and the policy portfolio on Capitol Hill.
00:45:09.679 --> 00:45:13.760
I was not as involved in the politics of it.
00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:18.559
That was for her campaign manager and the fundraising and all of that.
00:45:18.639 --> 00:45:20.159
That wasn't where my interests lie.
00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:29.599
What I can say is one of the big differences I see, and I wish, since we're forced to be in this two-party system, uh, again, the Republicans do this really well.
00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:33.679
They work with an organization that has been around for a long time called ALEC.
00:45:34.000 --> 00:45:43.840
At the moment, I cannot remember what the acronym stands for, but they generate state legislation for all the state houses around the country, Republican.
00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:56.239
And so any bill that hit uh Capitol Hill, uh, that hits Capitol Hill generally, I mean there's other ways to do it through lobbyists and things, and in particular corporate interests or advocate interests.
00:45:56.480 --> 00:46:05.519
But by and large, when we when policy reaches the federal level, it's already been circulating to some degree within the states.
00:46:05.679 --> 00:46:06.000
Okay.
00:46:06.239 --> 00:46:10.159
And so I'm talking about right those ideas come from at the state level.
00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:10.559
Okay.
00:46:10.800 --> 00:46:13.920
That's what Alec has been drafting for Republicans for years.
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:14.480
I see.
00:46:14.639 --> 00:46:16.719
There is no democratic counterpart.
00:46:16.960 --> 00:46:17.280
Okay.
00:46:17.440 --> 00:46:18.079
Which is a problem.
00:46:18.400 --> 00:46:19.360
Which is a problem.
00:46:19.679 --> 00:46:37.920
And so from a policy perspective, I would say I wish that there was uh a Democratic Alec that could help fight and propose policies that would be more beneficial for the broader population of people versus whatever it is out is also.
00:46:38.239 --> 00:46:40.559
So if you're trying different time, figure out what you can do.
00:46:40.719 --> 00:46:46.800
If you're trying to figure out how we can really try to um help to solve some of these problems.
00:46:47.039 --> 00:46:50.960
Oh, feeling that um no power and no control.
00:46:51.039 --> 00:46:56.400
Yes, uh, make sure that that you you vote, make sure that you take other people to the polls.
00:46:56.480 --> 00:47:26.960
But even more than that, you can become involved in some of the organizations that really try to help the economic power for uh for people that are uh challenged economically in terms of uh maybe having resources or jobs, you know, whether it's joining the Urban League or whether it's becoming a member of the NAACP, or uh back in the day when uh when I was growing up, my parents were involved in an organization called CORE that was a Congress of uh racial equality.
00:47:27.280 --> 00:47:33.199
And part of all of these different organizations because each one had a different kind of purpose.
00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:47.840
And I am saying you might not feel that you have any power, but with other groups, other organizations, and being a part of the national movement can help you, can help us to be able to push some of these uh initiatives forward.
00:47:48.159 --> 00:47:51.119
Alex stands for American Legislative Exchange Council.
00:47:51.440 --> 00:47:51.599
Okay.
00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:52.800
That's all I wanted you to say.
00:47:53.039 --> 00:47:54.559
So um, okay.
00:47:54.719 --> 00:47:58.960
I mean, I think that we've we've said all there is to say at this point on that.
00:47:59.039 --> 00:48:01.360
Um inform yourself too, not just vote.
00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:13.199
You said vote, yes, but I want you to be an informed voter so you're voting for the right person and the right people and uh understand what the the politicians that are in your area stand for.
00:48:13.599 --> 00:48:16.400
Yes, yes, yeah, yes, please be informed.
00:48:16.559 --> 00:48:19.039
Please educate yourselves and watching TikToks.
00:48:19.199 --> 00:48:20.079
That's how I'm talking about.
00:48:20.400 --> 00:48:22.079
That is not not informing.
00:48:22.159 --> 00:48:22.320
No.
00:48:22.639 --> 00:48:23.360
Do a deeper dive.
00:48:23.599 --> 00:48:24.159
That's right.
00:48:24.400 --> 00:48:29.039
Um Legal Women Voters, that's a place that you can go locally at least and get some information.
00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:31.440
Some people just don't know where to go or what to do.
00:48:31.599 --> 00:48:44.000
And I'm trying to to help to inform them of just getting involved in some places and not only the judicial system in the information here, but but just also start with your communities and then your state.
00:48:44.159 --> 00:48:48.400
Many, many states have uh information that they can provide to you.
00:48:48.719 --> 00:48:48.880
Yeah.
00:48:48.960 --> 00:48:52.800
I mean, I've heard some people they're complaining about the gas prices, they complain about the price of food.
00:48:52.960 --> 00:49:00.400
I've I'm hearing complaints, and when I take the time to actually have conversations, I pinpoint exactly where it started from a policy perspective.
00:49:00.559 --> 00:49:01.599
They're like, oh, I had no idea.
00:49:01.679 --> 00:49:02.639
And I was like, I did.
00:49:02.880 --> 00:49:03.199
Right.
00:49:03.280 --> 00:49:03.519
Yeah.
00:49:03.760 --> 00:49:09.199
But don't complain to me about your situation without having done anything to to push back on it.
00:49:09.440 --> 00:49:10.559
That's exactly right.
00:49:10.719 --> 00:49:11.599
I appreciate that.
00:49:11.840 --> 00:49:18.480
Um we have to end on well, we are still gonna do our ask us anything segment.
00:49:19.039 --> 00:49:22.480
Um, but I didn't want, I did want us to end on that.
00:49:22.559 --> 00:49:26.400
It was kind of a it's it is a downer, but it's also the reality.
00:49:26.480 --> 00:49:28.559
But I wanted to end on some good black news.
00:49:28.800 --> 00:49:36.079
So um I am an alumni of Spellman, and for 2026, they had seven valedictorians.
00:49:36.320 --> 00:49:36.639
Wow.
00:49:36.880 --> 00:49:37.920
So they are coined.
00:49:38.159 --> 00:49:39.360
The Spellman Seven.
00:49:39.519 --> 00:49:43.599
And it's the first time in the history of the school that that has happened.
00:49:43.760 --> 00:49:45.679
All seven of them got four pointos.
00:49:46.159 --> 00:49:54.159
And so just shout out to those young women who are demonstrating black excellence, collegiate excellence, scholar, scholarly excellence.
00:49:54.239 --> 00:49:55.920
And I'm so excited to see where they go.
00:49:56.400 --> 00:49:57.280
The Spellman Seven.
00:49:57.599 --> 00:49:59.599
Wow, the Spellman Seven is really cool.
00:49:59.840 --> 00:50:01.440
And this is graduation season.
00:50:01.519 --> 00:50:08.400
It's an opportunity to be able to celebrate um all of the graduates uh across the board.
00:50:08.559 --> 00:50:15.599
Uh, and especially we want to say a shout out to the uh HBCUs and and the graduates, but uh go Stellman.
00:50:16.000 --> 00:50:18.239
Yes, I I've seen several memes.
00:50:18.320 --> 00:50:19.599
It's really kind of funny.
00:50:19.679 --> 00:50:26.480
Um, someone was quite strict about this in terms of how they allowed the families to celebrate when one does walk across the stage.
00:50:26.719 --> 00:50:27.519
Yes, I'm aware.
00:50:28.079 --> 00:50:30.639
I am aware of you're aware of those restrictions.
00:50:31.199 --> 00:50:32.880
Um no, no, no, no.
00:50:32.960 --> 00:50:38.000
Um, but but people were talking about uh just like what their family does, what their family doesn't do.
00:50:38.079 --> 00:50:38.320
Uh-huh.
00:50:38.480 --> 00:50:41.039
Those who follow the rules, those who don't follow the rules.
00:50:41.360 --> 00:50:42.000
Right, right.
00:50:42.159 --> 00:50:42.559
Yes.
00:50:42.800 --> 00:50:44.480
And we we followed the rules.
00:50:44.559 --> 00:50:45.199
I mean, yes.
00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:47.199
I well, y'all don't want to be kicked out.
00:50:47.679 --> 00:50:48.159
Yeah.
00:50:48.400 --> 00:50:52.639
I want to be able to see read all of all of the grades.
00:50:53.119 --> 00:50:53.519
Yeah, yeah.
00:50:53.599 --> 00:50:55.840
Yeah, the commencement speaker and all the things too.
00:50:55.920 --> 00:51:03.440
So uh yeah, to your point, enjoy this season and celebrating your family and your loved ones as they semitriculate and move on to the next phase of their life.
00:51:03.599 --> 00:51:04.480
Congratulations.
00:51:04.800 --> 00:51:05.760
Very much so.
00:51:06.079 --> 00:51:06.559
All right.
00:51:06.719 --> 00:51:09.599
So back to this ask us anything.
00:51:09.840 --> 00:51:13.679
Again, because it wouldn't fly, it would just ask us some things.
00:51:13.840 --> 00:51:18.320
And I actually feel like these questions were were more challenging than the first round of questions.
00:51:18.559 --> 00:51:19.679
Song on my beat.
00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:20.559
All right.
00:51:21.280 --> 00:51:21.679
So okay.
00:51:23.280 --> 00:51:35.440
So if you didn't see us last week, um uh what occurred is that um we began to have some engagement from some of our listeners and or viewers.
00:51:35.760 --> 00:51:40.239
And there's a segment called it's uh it's it's a AMA.
00:51:40.400 --> 00:51:41.119
Ask me anything.
00:51:41.360 --> 00:51:42.000
Ask me anything.
00:51:43.119 --> 00:52:00.800
So um so we are saying that if you want to know something, especially about mother-daughter relationships, but anything, we'll be able to share that with you because our goal here is to help you and help ourselves and to help the world be able to find joy and to be able to navigate in the unknown.
00:52:01.039 --> 00:52:05.840
Yeah, and have conversations that other mu that otherwise might not be able to be had.
00:52:06.159 --> 00:52:22.719
Um, and so if you'd like to participate in this uh engagement that we're doing, our AMA, feel free to send us an email at raised by her podcast at gmail.com and we will read it on the pod during this segment.
00:52:23.119 --> 00:52:24.239
So, all right.
00:52:24.480 --> 00:52:28.320
Uh Painter of Red says, Hey.
00:52:28.559 --> 00:52:29.360
I love these names.
00:52:29.440 --> 00:52:30.320
I really do.
00:52:30.639 --> 00:52:34.559
Hey, I'm 65 and 45 years older than my son.
00:52:34.719 --> 00:52:45.599
I've been watching him navigate the world, and I see a stark generational difference between how he and his friends navigate, establishing strong boundaries between his private life and work and what I did during my work.
00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:50.960
For example, I took the call or answered answered the text, and he is okay with answering in the morning.
00:52:51.199 --> 00:52:54.880
Do you see any different work habits between generations that make you cringe?
00:52:55.360 --> 00:52:55.920
Oh, yes.
00:52:56.079 --> 00:52:56.880
I already knew the answer.
00:52:57.280 --> 00:52:58.159
I knew what you were gonna say.
00:52:58.239 --> 00:52:59.599
You're like, I've been cringing for years.
00:52:59.679 --> 00:53:00.159
What is happening?
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:01.760
What's he trying to do cringing?
00:53:02.079 --> 00:53:07.519
Um It it's And you shared with me, mommy, it's not about the work ethic.
00:53:07.679 --> 00:53:12.079
It is really about spending your time in a way that you want to spend your time.
00:53:12.320 --> 00:53:13.440
It's about effectiveness.
00:53:13.679 --> 00:53:14.639
That's what you said.
00:53:14.800 --> 00:53:20.559
And I do understand that technology has allowed the world to be um more effective in in certain ways.
00:53:21.039 --> 00:53:24.559
But I'm gonna take one example that I grew up with.
00:53:24.719 --> 00:53:30.800
That is the example of uh my parents being in the real estate business, your grandparents were in the real estate business.
00:53:31.039 --> 00:53:49.679
And there was not a a day that went by, a weekend that went by, or a Sunday that went by that we didn't have to either go to an open house or be involved in showing houses and making yourself available when your clients were available, if you were going to service your clients.
00:53:49.920 --> 00:53:56.480
So it wasn't about I don't do things after six o'clock or I am not going to take my Sunday afternoon and do this or do that.
00:53:56.719 --> 00:53:59.440
It was about making sure that you got the work done.
00:53:59.679 --> 00:54:06.719
I didn't I don't see that even today in the work environment, whether it's uh convenient or not convenient.
00:54:07.119 --> 00:54:11.519
So I think uh the the industry in which one works matters here.
00:54:11.679 --> 00:54:19.519
If we're talking specifically about timing, which we can we can be narrow and talk about that because that speaks to the example that this person gave.
00:54:19.920 --> 00:54:28.639
Uh back then, uh there wasn't 24-7 access to your employees from a corporate perspective.
00:54:28.880 --> 00:54:29.199
That is true.
00:54:29.599 --> 00:54:30.239
State's a little different.
00:54:30.400 --> 00:54:30.639
That is true.
00:54:30.800 --> 00:54:31.920
Being an entrepreneur is a little different.
00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:34.079
You know, you were being the boss is a little different.
00:54:34.320 --> 00:54:35.519
Well, it was 24-7.
00:54:35.760 --> 00:54:46.079
But if we're talking about employees that expect to work nine to five and then be able to go home and spend time with their family or whatever, then it's it's different.
00:54:46.239 --> 00:54:51.199
Actually, they've legislated around it, going back to the positives of it all, they've legislated around this um in other countries.
00:54:51.360 --> 00:54:56.880
In country, other countries where you know you cannot contact your employees every this particular time.
00:54:57.119 --> 00:54:58.559
Get back to them at 8 a.m.
00:54:58.719 --> 00:54:59.360
or 9 a.m.
00:54:59.519 --> 00:55:00.079
or whatever.
00:55:00.320 --> 00:55:06.480
And so I to your point, I think technology has made it easier for ongoing access.
00:55:06.960 --> 00:55:26.800
But I I I give a big shout out to my generation, the millennials, and then the generations coming up behind me that are just saying, like, we unless we choose it, unless we choose to go into real estate, unless we choose to be an entrepreneur, unless we choose unless you chose to go into broadcasting with this 24 media.
00:55:26.960 --> 00:55:29.440
Which, you know, you know, yeah, it wasn't it was 24-7.
00:55:29.840 --> 00:55:37.760
But you know, that I deserve the choice to work a nine to five and still make a livable wage and still have that work-life balance.
00:55:38.320 --> 00:55:38.639
Okay.
00:55:39.199 --> 00:55:41.039
And I'm gonna disagree with you.
00:55:41.280 --> 00:55:45.599
I just think that you you choose not only your profession, but the opportunity.
00:55:45.760 --> 00:55:52.000
What I think the person is also asking is that is there a uh a cutoff time?
00:55:52.239 --> 00:55:56.480
And my answer to that is you you can cut off when the work is done.
00:55:57.280 --> 00:56:01.599
You can't cut off just because I want to get off work at a certain point.
00:56:01.840 --> 00:56:09.039
My father, in addition to being in in real estate, but real estate was his second job, he worked in a factory, General Motors factory.
00:56:09.199 --> 00:56:21.039
And so in the morning they got there at a certain time, they had their breaks at a certain time, lunch at a certain time, and then when it was time to end the day, those gentlemen just came running out of the factory set time.
00:56:21.199 --> 00:56:28.079
They wanted to run to their cars so they wouldn't be sitting in the traffic, which I f I found to be fascinating.
00:56:28.239 --> 00:56:32.800
But I'm saying that's not what we're talking about in uh at this day and age.
00:56:33.199 --> 00:56:48.000
It's not because look, uh, as we talked about loosening um loosening laws, loosening um workers' rights, all these things have been have been loosening.
00:56:48.159 --> 00:56:53.440
And so uh we we're hearing about more burnout today than we ever have.
00:56:53.599 --> 00:57:00.639
We're hearing about more mental health challenges as it pertains to work than we ever have before.
00:57:00.960 --> 00:57:14.639
I would say that COVID is an excellent example of how you can be super effective without following the traditional, um, the traditional uh framework, if you will.
00:57:14.800 --> 00:57:21.039
Uh companies that thought that you had to be in the office doing whatever, if they're honest.
00:57:21.199 --> 00:57:26.800
I know they now want folks back in their offices, but uh they became more effective.
00:57:26.960 --> 00:57:29.679
They made more money, their profits skyrocketed.
00:57:29.760 --> 00:57:39.519
They're stomp, their um their uh shareholders made more money when folks have the ability to have more flexibility and work on their own time.
00:57:39.599 --> 00:57:41.599
The work did, as a matter of fact, they became more productive.
00:57:41.760 --> 00:57:42.559
Yeah, that's true.
00:57:42.880 --> 00:57:47.840
And so and to Yeah, and and so technology has aided in that.
00:57:47.920 --> 00:57:48.719
And that's my point.
00:57:48.800 --> 00:58:03.199
Like, if I can get something done in two hours and it takes somebody else six hours, don't force me to work the six hours, you know, unless you want to promote me and give me the the scope of the of the six hour, you know, the right that's another conversation.
00:58:03.360 --> 00:58:03.679
Why?
00:58:03.840 --> 00:58:11.920
Like, don't punish me for being for being excellent and having that work ethic to be able to get something done within two hours that take that can take other people longer.
00:58:12.320 --> 00:58:12.559
Sure.
00:58:12.719 --> 00:58:13.840
I I understand it.
00:58:14.480 --> 00:58:18.639
So to answer this person's question, um, yes, my mother cringes.
00:58:22.079 --> 00:58:23.760
Um we got the work done.
00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:25.519
Yeah, yeah, we get the work done.
00:58:25.599 --> 00:58:28.559
And I don't want to be super I don't want to be super blib about this.
00:58:28.719 --> 00:58:37.840
I do I I understand where this person is coming from because uh there is a difference in generation.
00:58:38.000 --> 00:58:38.159
Yes.
00:58:38.400 --> 00:58:41.760
Not just in terms of the framework, but but in terms of work ethic as well.
00:58:41.840 --> 00:58:43.920
I could I I can acknowledge that.
00:58:44.239 --> 00:58:48.000
And I can identify I know what they're talking about.
00:58:48.320 --> 00:58:48.559
Okay.
00:58:48.960 --> 00:58:57.039
Um so Distinct Tiger608 asks, what topics in society do you have opposite views on?
00:58:57.280 --> 00:59:00.159
Do you discuss your differences or avoid talking about them?
00:59:00.480 --> 00:59:02.159
I feel like we just got into one.
00:59:03.199 --> 00:59:04.719
We we discuss our differences.
00:59:04.960 --> 00:59:13.440
Yeah, we um we understand that not only were we raised in different time frames, but also things change.
00:59:13.599 --> 00:59:14.800
Values change.
00:59:15.039 --> 00:59:24.400
However, ethics um would remain the same and the feeling of being able to be informed when you are talking about something that is serious.
00:59:24.559 --> 00:59:31.840
I mean, as you can tell, we we have a good time and we can debate one another, but we also respect the the opinions.
00:59:31.920 --> 00:59:44.000
And I can honestly say I I raised my daughter and her father and I had a lot of conversations about making sure that she was a uh an independent woman with a mind of her own.
00:59:44.239 --> 00:59:55.679
Sometimes when growing up it was a little challenging because um as she got as you got older, you you began to speak out uh in ways that's where it came from.
00:59:56.800 --> 01:00:03.679
But you know, you you can't encourage a child to tell me how you feel or tell me what you want or give me your opinion.
01:00:03.840 --> 01:00:07.360
And then you get to be a certain age, then we say, no, don't do that anyway.
01:00:07.920 --> 01:00:09.679
You know, I don't I don't want to hear that.
01:00:09.920 --> 01:00:21.360
So we really we had to find uh the balance and and I had to really find the balance in being able to listen to you so you could be heard when we had a difference of opinion.
01:00:21.679 --> 01:00:23.280
Can you think of a specific topic?
01:00:23.360 --> 01:00:43.920
Like this, I I couldn't, I was like, what do we and yes, we do have opposite views on things, but I was struggling to to really identify outside of the one that we just talked about, um, another one because we also have the um ability to agree to disagree and move on.
01:00:44.159 --> 01:00:50.159
So I don't I can't really remember to actually I do remember a time where we had a a big disagreement.
01:00:50.320 --> 01:00:52.880
You're but I would have read actually thinking about the same time.
01:00:52.960 --> 01:00:54.000
No, I'm speaking out loud.
01:00:54.079 --> 01:00:56.400
I'm like, ah, we go through all the years.
01:00:56.559 --> 01:00:56.800
Okay.
01:00:57.039 --> 01:00:59.519
Um uh we disagreed on my wedding.
01:00:59.920 --> 01:01:00.400
We did.
01:01:00.559 --> 01:01:02.400
You want to share with what the disagreement was?
01:01:02.559 --> 01:01:04.079
I think it's probably several.
01:01:04.400 --> 01:01:09.119
So I um I did not want to get married in a church.
01:01:09.280 --> 01:01:13.519
I was more interested in what the venue would look like.
01:01:13.679 --> 01:01:18.159
And so I was like, well, if it's a pretty church, but I don't want to be restricted to just churches.
01:01:18.400 --> 01:01:21.920
And uh we ended up finding a pretty church, so it was okay.
01:01:22.239 --> 01:01:27.280
But getting married in church was something that was really important to you and my mother-in-law for that matter.
01:01:27.440 --> 01:01:30.159
But I was like, they already had their weddings anyway.
01:01:30.320 --> 01:01:33.360
Um, so that was uh we had differing opinions on that.
01:01:33.440 --> 01:01:36.800
We also had differing opinions on how big the wedding should be.
01:01:37.280 --> 01:01:43.360
Um, I had smaller numbers, and you wanted to invite uh your friends as well.
01:01:43.519 --> 01:01:47.679
And so um and my colleagues and and we already had big families.
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:49.280
Yeah, we come from big families, yeah.
01:01:49.599 --> 01:01:55.679
And you said, you know, I think that we should just limit this and just cut it off at a number.
01:01:55.760 --> 01:01:59.119
And I said, you can't just cut it off at a number.
01:01:59.280 --> 01:02:06.400
What you have to figure out is who do you want to invite, who needs to be there, who wants to be there, and then we can we can figure it out that way.
01:02:06.559 --> 01:02:10.639
And you were not happy um with the fact that that's the way we wanted to.
01:02:11.199 --> 01:02:12.000
We, who's we?
01:02:12.159 --> 01:02:13.119
Well, okay.
01:02:15.840 --> 01:02:18.480
You so that was a point, it was a point of disagreement.
01:02:18.639 --> 01:02:26.320
I'd say, hey, what opposite series what we uh we compromised and and we were able to pull it together and then compromise is the word there.
01:02:26.400 --> 01:02:32.719
If they if they're asking like how do how do we resolve things, we we talk about it and we usually compromise or we agree.
01:02:33.119 --> 01:02:33.440
Disagree.
01:02:33.599 --> 01:02:33.840
Right.
01:02:34.079 --> 01:02:34.639
One or two.
01:02:35.039 --> 01:02:35.360
Yes.
01:02:35.519 --> 01:02:35.920
Yeah.
01:02:36.079 --> 01:02:53.199
I the well this wasn't when you were grown, but um Do you remember when you wanted to uh have a telephone or wanted to have a TV in your room and all that, and all your friends did, and I said, No, we already have Oh yeah, you're so hard on my dad would have given it to me.
01:02:53.280 --> 01:02:54.559
I knew I knew you were the issue.
01:02:54.880 --> 01:02:55.440
I was the issue.
01:02:56.559 --> 01:02:58.559
Yes, I thought we have three televisions in this house.
01:02:58.719 --> 01:03:00.239
We do not need to have another television.
01:03:00.400 --> 01:03:02.320
And I can say as an adult, I love having a TV.
01:03:03.840 --> 01:03:08.719
Well, later on I could understand that, but you didn't need a TV in your room at that time.
01:03:08.800 --> 01:03:21.840
And my feeling was that if you go to your room and watch TV and then I go to the other room and watch TV and your father was watching whatever he's watching at some point, we would never be spending the kind of family time that we needed.
01:03:22.159 --> 01:03:34.079
That's so and and so uh it was important for us to be able to gather and to to be able to to watch TV and and so you were not happy.
01:03:34.400 --> 01:03:35.280
No, I wasn't.
01:03:35.440 --> 01:03:37.360
But I you know, ultimately I got through it.
01:03:37.599 --> 01:03:38.000
You did.
01:03:38.400 --> 01:03:38.719
You did.
01:03:38.960 --> 01:03:41.360
And then I was able to become an adult and get what I wanted.
01:03:42.719 --> 01:03:47.840
And have TVs everywhere and yes, have positive memories of us as a family watching specific shows.
01:03:48.079 --> 01:03:48.559
The purpose.
01:03:48.639 --> 01:03:49.440
Yeah, completed.
01:03:49.679 --> 01:03:50.239
Yes, thank you.
01:03:50.559 --> 01:04:00.960
Yes, um okay Alpine SK says or asks, daughter, what is something that you've hidden from your mom that would shock her?
01:04:01.679 --> 01:04:02.719
Alpine SK.
01:04:04.000 --> 01:04:10.000
What is something that you have hidden from your mom that would that would uh shock then mom?
01:04:10.400 --> 01:04:10.880
Same question.
01:04:11.119 --> 01:04:12.559
Oh you're not the huh?
01:04:13.039 --> 01:04:14.800
You thought you were the huh?
01:04:15.760 --> 01:04:20.239
Okay, Lord, okay, something that hidden that would shock you.
01:04:21.519 --> 01:04:22.320
Hidden.
01:04:22.639 --> 01:04:26.320
Um I'm not very good at hiding things.
01:04:27.039 --> 01:04:27.519
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:04:27.599 --> 01:04:28.880
I'm not as secretive.
01:04:29.199 --> 01:04:29.599
You know what?
01:04:29.679 --> 01:04:32.800
I yeah, you're not well, I could read your face.
01:04:32.880 --> 01:04:44.320
I mean, I whether the expressive eyes uh now whether you always wanted to go there or go there right then and there wasn't uh necessary.
01:04:44.880 --> 01:05:06.639
Um I I think and and while you're thinking, maybe I can think that um I I I really appear to be a very confident woman and really um have had to struggle with that confidence uh in life.
01:05:06.719 --> 01:05:20.480
And I found out from one of uh my therapists that um because I have a um a spirit that usually gives people the benefit of the doubt.
01:05:20.960 --> 01:05:21.760
No, yeah, you do.
01:05:22.480 --> 01:05:23.119
Okay, no way.
01:05:23.599 --> 01:05:24.239
Oh no.
01:05:25.039 --> 01:05:27.440
Actually I was thinking both you and my father.
01:05:28.079 --> 01:05:35.039
That it it um the therapist said it it represents uh a lack of confidence in in myself.
01:05:35.360 --> 01:05:36.000
Oh, interesting.
01:05:36.239 --> 01:05:44.719
And when you have a lack of confidence um in yourself, you're always trying to people please and uh get along just to get along.
01:05:44.960 --> 01:05:54.000
And that you um you represent uh maybe confidence, but you've had to learn that this is not something that is innate to you.
01:05:54.079 --> 01:06:04.480
And I thought Wow I don't I think I've ever said that to you because I you know I it is something that has more than more of a learned behavior than I'm comfortable with.
01:06:04.960 --> 01:06:07.679
Because, you know, I just don't want to deal with whatever.
01:06:07.840 --> 01:06:16.000
I mean, no one really wants to deal with the whatever, but for me it's easier to just say, okay, that's I I forgive you on the Yeah.
01:06:16.079 --> 01:06:16.639
Yeah.
01:06:16.960 --> 01:06:17.679
That's interesting.
01:06:17.840 --> 01:06:18.079
Okay.
01:06:18.159 --> 01:06:19.840
I appreciate that approach to the question.
01:06:19.920 --> 01:06:24.239
I actually think I I now have something that I can say based on your response.
01:06:24.400 --> 01:06:28.239
Cause I was thinking more so like I didn't really sneak out of the house.
01:06:28.320 --> 01:06:31.840
Like I was trying to think I'm like one of those things.
01:06:32.400 --> 01:06:37.679
I did and you'll actually laugh at this because um a part of the question was that would shock you.
01:06:37.840 --> 01:06:50.159
So I'm like even if I told you like when I had my first sip of alcohol or something that wouldn't shock you because um me and some of my cousins have seen some pictures from from you and some of your friends in your 20s and we're like now wait a minute.
01:06:50.239 --> 01:06:53.840
There was clear like a whole light before us in right time.
01:06:54.079 --> 01:06:54.719
We we had a good time.
01:06:54.800 --> 01:07:11.599
Yeah yeah we did we could tell we could tell so like even if there was something I was like I don't think it would shock you but I can say something I wouldn't say that it's I've hidden this from you but it's something that I've been thinking about being back in Dayton, which means that I am back closer to home.
01:07:11.679 --> 01:07:17.679
I'm closer to you I'm closer to my other family members before my grandmother passed I was able to you know be around her again.
01:07:17.840 --> 01:07:26.800
So I've been able to look at myself through a multi-generational lens as I try to continue to develop my own self-awareness.
01:07:27.119 --> 01:07:32.880
And I can see things in me that are are certainly generational.
01:07:33.039 --> 01:07:38.719
So for example, you told me the story was it on this podcast or was it or was it another time?
01:07:39.199 --> 01:07:51.119
Anyway, you told me the story about how you were getting an award somewhere and my grandmother was there of course and somebody in the room said you know aren't you so proud of her?
01:07:51.519 --> 01:07:55.840
And my grandmother's response was um I would expect nothing less.
01:07:56.079 --> 01:07:56.480
Right.
01:07:56.719 --> 01:08:05.039
And I was like that is literally how I feel like I grew up like I like you would expect nothing less than what I and I was I was embarrassed.
01:08:05.199 --> 01:08:15.840
Yeah yeah well I think I oh yeah yeah um but not not just about um the feelings around it I was thinking more so in terms of like the pressure that we put on ourselves.
01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:16.239
Right.
01:08:16.399 --> 01:08:24.479
I was like I know that part of the pressure is me but also part of the pressure is how I was parented and it's it's multi-generational because it's the pressure you I see you put on yourself.
01:08:24.720 --> 01:08:29.199
And then what I knew about my grandmother, the pressure that I saw her put on her herself.
01:08:29.359 --> 01:08:29.520
Yes.
01:08:29.680 --> 01:08:36.079
And then I had the opportunity really grateful to I won't say I knew her but I was around my great grandmother.
01:08:36.159 --> 01:08:38.319
I think she passed with us around like 11 or something.
01:08:38.560 --> 01:08:53.920
Yes you were and I was like so I know this shouldn't just start with the free generation so I know that my grandmother got it from her mother different kind of society in terms of like how she was able to navigate but I was like I can see that kind of it's why we are where we are and how we are and all of that.
01:08:54.000 --> 01:08:55.840
But also I'm like I can kind of see that.
01:08:55.920 --> 01:08:59.359
So that's something we haven't talked about but that would be my response to that question.
01:08:59.600 --> 01:09:06.000
It's not something I was hiding but it's something that I'm continuing to try to as I try to learn more about myself and the why of why I behave some way.
01:09:06.239 --> 01:09:08.800
I think I I I love that story and that example.
01:09:09.199 --> 01:09:18.079
I can really understand that it's we really try to live our lives not hiding something because I mean we are who we are and it is what it is.
01:09:18.239 --> 01:09:19.920
Yeah also secrets kill you.
01:09:20.159 --> 01:09:20.640
Well that's true.
01:09:20.880 --> 01:09:24.399
Secrets kill you and oh that that that is such a good point.
01:09:24.720 --> 01:09:27.680
And also why is it a secret?
01:09:27.840 --> 01:09:39.359
If it was something that you experienced something that you did something that you had I mean you know I wasn't going to tell you I was uh you know I murdered someone and I never told you or I was in jail for two years and you know any of those things.
01:09:39.439 --> 01:10:11.520
I I didn't have those kinds of of uh experiences but plus if I did everybody'd know it anyway because you were giving them the benefit of the doubt and they were like oh yeah okay media for most of my uh adult life but uh and but I I think it's very important to not only do your own self-awareness and your own self-work but also to be honest about the mistakes you've made and to be honest about what you want to be in the future and you can only do that by dealing with stuff in the past and moving on.
01:10:12.159 --> 01:10:19.439
Yeah yeah I yeah we do have the the similar belief um that uh maybe it's dramatic to say secrets kill you but they make you sick.
01:10:19.600 --> 01:10:19.840
They do.
01:10:20.000 --> 01:10:20.640
How do you know that?
01:10:20.720 --> 01:10:24.239
And as we start at the beginning of this podcast we are committed to longevity and anti-aging.
01:10:24.399 --> 01:10:24.720
That's right.
01:10:25.199 --> 01:10:27.439
Yeah we don't need a secret wrinkle here.
01:10:27.600 --> 01:10:29.439
Right that's exactly right.
01:10:29.520 --> 01:10:32.640
So we hope that helps Al Hide SK.
01:10:32.880 --> 01:10:33.279
Thank you.
01:10:33.439 --> 01:10:33.760
Thank you.
01:10:34.239 --> 01:10:41.760
We appreciate the um the sentiment and uh have some discussions with your sons and daughters about these kind of topics as well.
01:10:42.079 --> 01:10:44.960
One more question for this particular episode.
01:10:45.119 --> 01:10:45.359
Okay.
01:10:45.600 --> 01:11:04.159
This comes from Remote ad 969 how have your views changed with age what do you both wish you had done more and or less of when you were younger how was your rel How has your relationship evolved as mother and daughter throughout your lives up to now?
01:11:05.520 --> 01:11:07.199
A few questions right wait a minute.
01:11:07.600 --> 01:11:22.880
Yes so asked us anything um in threads you know in threads um well we could let's take it a step by step because actually I feel like these are both these are all really good questions but yeah um I think all deserve their own separate time.
01:11:23.119 --> 01:11:23.359
Okay.
01:11:23.520 --> 01:11:25.680
Um how have your views changed with age?
01:11:26.399 --> 01:11:59.760
Um I think I miss 75 year old yes yes most recent yeah um I I think that my views have changed over the years because I I am more aware of the world, the real world I can think specifically about um having conversations with uh with my mother about uh what was going on in the world and she would mommy loved as you know Russia and she and dad had an opportunity to tricky time to say that.
01:12:00.079 --> 01:12:00.239
Right.
01:12:00.399 --> 01:12:23.920
Yeah yeah well to visit Russia and I kept saying why do you want to go to this communist country and I would have the opinion of um of a child who had to uh get under the desk when she was uh growing up because we were afraid of being attacked by Cuba which was a communist country and so we used to go through these um exercises.
01:12:24.079 --> 01:12:32.000
Now truly if you're in your classroom and you know a bomb hits getting under your desk is not going to do it.
01:12:32.560 --> 01:12:34.159
Because she had to go through those kind of exercises.
01:12:34.239 --> 01:12:36.319
And I'll just say that for the performance of it all.
01:12:36.720 --> 01:12:37.840
For the performance of it all.
01:12:38.000 --> 01:12:48.000
And over the years I would have these debates about how mom was seeing the world where she was reading a lot of underground newspapers and information.
01:12:48.079 --> 01:12:59.119
And so she would share what was really going on and she would talk about um what our country needed to be doing to help us as uh as a people better.
01:12:59.279 --> 01:13:05.359
And and so she was great great historian and we used to say mommy was a woman before her time.
01:13:05.520 --> 01:13:05.760
Yeah.
01:13:05.920 --> 01:13:32.319
And so her her information sharing as I now I'm going to um going through high school and going through college and I just thought I knew certain things but she was right and so my views have changed uh not only about this the the countr this country and how the country has treated people over the years from the uh American Indians through the minorities etc but I understand what my responsibility continues to be.
01:13:32.399 --> 01:13:35.600
So I listen more I try my best to listen more.
01:13:36.079 --> 01:13:49.600
Um yeah that's good uh I was going to say uh what I took from what you just said is that uh your views have changed and that I don't know when this happened but your mother was right but that was right.
01:13:49.760 --> 01:14:12.079
Uh for me, let's see how my views changed with age I with more education with more exposure with more life experience I have just um I wonder if people in my life would actually say this but uh I think I've become a little I've become softer like it's it's not as black and white as I thought it was when I uh was younger.
01:14:12.159 --> 01:14:24.640
I just you know you see people with different experiences you see people in in different circumstances and you're like oh it it's just not uh it's not as easy and it's not necessarily always as black and white and so I think that I'm just more open.
01:14:25.119 --> 01:14:25.920
I think that's good.
01:14:26.000 --> 01:15:12.319
That's a good place to be um that being um things being black and white is really from your dad's side because if an engineer they had to be you know there is no middle brand yeah he would say it all the time it either is or it is or it isn't yeah but um and and so um so how has that being more open or softer how's that helped you oh how has it helped me um I think it takes some of the judgment that I have about now it's not all gone because I am judgy but I think it takes uh some of the judgment out that I have of people generally and that has allowed me to be happier around people and be more accepting of people.
01:15:12.720 --> 01:15:20.800
I to your point um I could still I'm still it's a journey it's a journey in terms of me being more open.
01:15:21.039 --> 01:15:48.079
I I remember when I was in law school um a friend of mine who was also in law school with me she was like oh man she actually went on to become prosecutor she she was like you she's like don't ever become a judge I was like why would you say that to me she was like you are so tough and there's no gray area like either is or do these people be now I were to sit on a bench again I would be exposed to all types of situations.
01:15:48.319 --> 01:16:06.399
Right would have some discernment I I can see why she would say um so yeah I think it's helped me in just like being more accepting and more fluid and just kind of taking not just the pressure off of of others but also probably the pressure off of myself.
01:16:06.800 --> 01:16:07.199
Sure.
01:16:07.359 --> 01:16:07.840
Sure.
01:16:08.239 --> 01:16:14.479
Um okay so part two of her question uh or his or her question.
01:16:14.640 --> 01:16:35.520
What do you both wish you had done more and or less of when you were younger I was just talking to a a friend of mine um about this uh and I I think played a little bit more because I've I've always been pretty serious and I've been working since I was like 15 years old and that was Rosa.
01:16:35.760 --> 01:16:52.720
So that was that proposal and that was definitely and and I thank you mommy but I just think I would have um I could have played a little bit more so you you can't go back and do it back but you can now decide that um now that you're wiser you can do it moving forward.
01:16:52.880 --> 01:17:02.960
Just a little and I mean I had fun I sure am I sure but um there was always the something else to do and it was always in my mind should I be doing this?
01:17:03.279 --> 01:17:12.479
Because I really need to be worried about that or working on that or taking care of that or uh so you know I could have cooled out a little bit.
01:17:13.760 --> 01:17:22.319
Um okay okay uh this is also a tough maybe it's just me and questions in general I'm like why are all these questions so hard?
01:17:22.640 --> 01:17:36.000
Because when I look back on my childhood uh or like when I was younger I you all gave me a lot of flexibility to be able to go and kind of do what I wanted with within reason.
01:17:36.239 --> 01:17:43.840
And so it's not like oh I wish I had done this or I wish I had done that because if I had the idea to do it, you all supported me in doing that.
01:17:44.000 --> 01:17:45.039
At least that's how I remember it.
01:17:45.119 --> 01:17:45.840
Correct me if I'm wrong.
01:17:46.000 --> 01:17:59.279
No no you're you and so I'm just I'm trying to figure out something that I felt like I lacked in and I just what do you wish you had done more of and also I'm the person that really is focused on do what is I want to do.
01:17:59.520 --> 01:18:10.399
Right, right I could see my well I can't see him but I can imagine my husband rolling his eyes at that um and so I j yeah that's and I think I've been that way for a very long time.
01:18:10.720 --> 01:18:28.640
You have it uh but you deserve to have those opportunities because one of the the life lessons that we had is um everything that you had an opportunity to do was a result of the fact that you had done what you were supposed to do before then.
01:18:28.800 --> 01:18:28.960
Yeah.
01:18:29.199 --> 01:18:32.079
It was it was like you know you you m you made good grades.
01:18:32.399 --> 01:18:32.640
Yeah.
01:18:32.800 --> 01:18:36.000
You you didn't wait until the last minute to do projects.
01:18:36.159 --> 01:19:13.680
You I I I I remember going through the whole college application process and I don't remember um exactly how many they told you to have but they said okay let's do six college applications or whatever you chose ten and we had to pay for those but and you wait until so I am not a let's go too often and and a part of my uh true true uh gratitude for having a child like you is that you were an easy child to to raise opinionated yes but I can I can say that and so it was I think easy easier for us to say yes you can try this or yes you can do that.
01:19:13.760 --> 01:19:19.439
So memory's do um you know if you would have had a second child that probably wouldn't been the case.
01:19:20.079 --> 01:19:33.600
We definitely know that would okay so I think very statistically I don't know right I've seen a lot of uh yeah social media that was around like second children and how they were like we had one because we thought the other one was gonna be just like the first no that's not the way it is.
01:19:34.720 --> 01:19:40.079
Yes no no I mean that that you were the first child based on your personality as opposed to the second child.
01:19:40.479 --> 01:19:54.000
Um okay how has your relationship evolved as mother and daughter throughout your lives up to now huh I so from my perspective you've gone from parent to friend but still parent.
01:19:55.199 --> 01:19:59.760
So parents so it's expanded then from beyond like just parent to now more.
01:20:01.199 --> 01:20:02.239
I I appreciate that.
01:20:02.319 --> 01:20:18.000
Yes no I I think that's um that's good um but I I I think it helps when you really like your child really like your son like your daughter and like where they are at various times in their life.
01:20:18.159 --> 01:20:22.000
I think that that that helps you to be able to see them in a different way.
01:20:22.640 --> 01:20:27.279
As a parent you always worry about your children that's just that's just um that's normal.
01:20:27.520 --> 01:20:38.399
Um biological Yeah it is uh but I think um I really really believe that when you're raising your children you have to be the parent.
01:20:38.560 --> 01:20:45.039
I I wasn't trying to be your friend I no you were not no that I just happened over throughout your lives up until now.
01:20:46.800 --> 01:21:03.039
I mean truly and so um I think enjoying spending time together I think doing different kinds of things together as um as well married couples and then um as as mother and daughter but it's also been really cool.
01:21:03.199 --> 01:21:23.760
I had someone say to me a couple days ago at an event that that I was um I'm really enjoying getting um to know your daughter and I said well thank you I I appreciate that and then um he said you know she reminds me of you and sometimes when she's talking I look at her and I think she sounds just like Rooney.
01:21:24.640 --> 01:21:45.039
I said well that's a really nice compliment and I said it wasn't intentional because she does have a mind of her own he goes no I I I understand that but um that's I I just I really appreciate the fact that as people observe you they see you but then they also see that um there was at least some things that I did right.
01:21:45.119 --> 01:21:46.720
So I'm I'm grateful for that.
01:21:47.199 --> 01:22:02.079
To your point I think that thank you by the way that that's a kind uh a kind story to to tell I um I think probably a part of why we have such a good relationship now is based on the fact that you didn't try to be my friend.
01:22:02.239 --> 01:22:10.640
I could see how that'd be problematic from an early age that you were just been kind of like you were strictly parent and then just like as time evolved.
01:22:10.800 --> 01:22:20.720
Do you think you played a role in because you said liking your child um do you think that's the parents like is that just up to chance?
01:22:21.039 --> 01:22:23.840
No, I think that um parents love their children.
01:22:24.000 --> 01:22:24.399
Sure.
01:22:24.640 --> 01:22:35.680
And um parents become um challenged when their children become adults because you don't always like the decisions this that your your children are making or have made.
01:22:36.319 --> 01:22:43.359
I just think it's harder and harder for um children to navigate this world that we're living in today.
01:22:43.439 --> 01:22:43.760
Yeah.
01:22:44.000 --> 01:22:56.560
And I think that makes it even more difficult to stay in your place but uh to understand what your role should be because your needs, the the needs of young people are just so great actually.
01:22:57.359 --> 01:23:10.399
And so that's what I was thinking about thinking about when when I was making that that statement that I genuinely like you and and I like the woman you've become and I respect your decisions.
01:23:11.039 --> 01:23:16.399
I don't always understand see I get married anyway.
01:23:17.840 --> 01:23:22.319
But I I I and I remember talking back to the marriage thing just for a moment.
01:23:22.399 --> 01:23:42.960
I remember talking to uh our minister and I was I was talking about you have in your mind a place and he said well I I'll go to whatever church it is and he shouldn't have to get married and you know this urge and I said I know but okay you know because you know this is not a battle that should be an ongoing battle.
01:23:43.039 --> 01:24:00.079
You know it wasn't the fact that you wanted um me or your father to go online and be get an internet uh no license no no no so I'm I'm I'm saying it was just you want to be married by a minister but you wanted something place that looked a certain kind of way and place that was convenient and lava.
01:24:00.479 --> 01:24:01.520
Yeah that convenience thing.
01:24:01.600 --> 01:24:06.000
Yeah that was that was the other part I was like I don't want to have to move a go place to another place.
01:24:06.319 --> 01:24:07.279
But the church was beautiful.
01:24:08.159 --> 01:24:08.560
And we did.
01:24:08.800 --> 01:24:19.279
And you were happy yes yes yeah we were all happy so yes so um I think we can leave it there for for this week's episode.
01:24:19.600 --> 01:24:19.840
Okay.
01:24:20.000 --> 01:24:23.199
Uh but we love the question actually now love the questions.
01:24:23.279 --> 01:24:26.720
So thank you for the quick even the in-depth questions were like okay let me think about this.
01:24:27.279 --> 01:24:29.520
It's a cool thing and we will continue to do it.
01:24:29.680 --> 01:24:37.279
So again if you want to ask us a question please feel free to shoot us an email at raised byher podcast at gmail.com.
01:24:37.520 --> 01:24:41.760
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01:24:42.079 --> 01:24:58.159
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01:24:58.319 --> 01:25:04.079
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01:25:04.319 --> 01:25:43.359
Yes and also like subscribe love you love and leave us a comment and we'll see you next week take care bye she's got wisdom she's got deck she's got questions she's got deck the voice it's gonna lie that's the key for the mother