00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hello, everybody.
00:00:02
Speaker 2: I hope.
00:00:03
Speaker 3: I don't know what I hope this week. It's been such a tough week. Every time I go to record this, I start crying. Okay, I got myself together. Here's what I hope. I hope that we don't lose hope in this time when.
00:00:24
Speaker 4: I don't know. A lot of my friends said it feels tough to be a human being. I don't know if I feel that, but I know that's the sentiment of a lot of people. There's this Albert Einstein quote, we cannot despair of humanity since we ourselves are human beings.
00:00:42
Speaker 2: And I like that.
00:00:44
Speaker 4: I like that quote because we all have to be the change we want to see. We have to be peace in our own lives, our own families, our own worlds. And I don't know about you, but I've really well some laughter and distractions this week, and so my other hope is that this week's podcast will bring that. Our guest is a bright light. She's funny and kind and full of humanity, and I think the next thirty six minutes will make you smile. But I also don't want to gloss over what we all witnessed and what we're feeling so at the end of the podcast, I wanted to play this song that is really meaningful to me. It's the song that I play if I'm feeling anxious or just need to take a breath or just need a little calm. It's called Inner Peace by Beautiful Chorus, and you can get it, you know, anywhere, But you can also save this episode if you'd like, so you can play it.
00:02:01
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:02:02
Speaker 4: I think it'll bring you just a breath, that's what it brings me. Okay, let's get into today's episode and let's smile a little bit or a lot. Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever, pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe and each week my guests and I have conversations that put a new spin on pretty This is pretty smart.
00:02:33
Speaker 2: Picture this.
00:02:34
Speaker 4: You're at a dinner or an event or any gathering, and the small talk inevitably turns to your job.
00:02:41
Speaker 2: What do you do?
00:02:42
Speaker 4: It's a common icebreaker, right, But what they're really asking is what's your title. It's like the world's most concise introduction. And I'll be honest, sometimes I ask people what they do because I want to know how they spend their time what they're interested in. It helps me get to know them. But on the flo whipside, you can always tell when somebody's asking what you do because they want to know if you're worth their time or not.
00:03:09
Speaker 2: And that's the thing about titles.
00:03:11
Speaker 4: They can give us a small glimpse into how someone spends their time, but they don't give us a glimpse into who they are.
00:03:18
Speaker 2: We live in a world where.
00:03:19
Speaker 4: Success stories include college dropouts turned tech moguls and stay at home parents turn best selling authors. Titles, or lack thereof, do not tell the full story, So how should we view them? I kind of think of them like makeup fund towaar, but not the essence of who I am.
00:03:42
Speaker 2: Our guest today.
00:03:43
Speaker 4: Taren Delaney knows this well. She held one of the most well known titles in our country, Miss New York, and while she held the title proudly, she did it differently her way.
00:03:56
Speaker 2: So they're like World Peace. It's so lame, and not everybody agrees with my methodology. I'm sure a lot of people don't. Necessarily doesn't like me as Miss new York. That's fine, that's prerogative. But I was somebody who refused to let go of that soulful feeling that saw us that fun. I wanted to have fun.
00:04:14
Speaker 4: She was also the first black Miss New York to win with her natural hair.
00:04:18
Speaker 2: Your dreams do not have to make sense to other people as long as it makes sense to you. Yeah, and a lot of times it's not necessarily even about getting to that destination of your lives. It's the journey on the way, the mistakes you make. Alad, I've made some mistakes.
00:04:32
Speaker 4: All of those mistakes landed her exactly where she's supposed to be a content creator, an actress, and I'm gonna throw in comedian because she's hysterical. With one point five million followers on social Terreen's audience knows her for her honesty, humor, and compassion. A few months ago, she created a fictional character named Denise, Heaven's receptionist welcoming people into Heaven.
00:05:00
Speaker 1: Thanks for calling seven seven seven Heaven.
00:05:02
Speaker 2: This is Denise.
00:05:02
Speaker 1: In case we get disconnected, How can I assist you?
00:05:04
Speaker 2: That's so great that you went every Sunday, but you also made it looks like you made forty eight Starbucks baristas cry, Oh my God, puts her in my tea in the wine, Miss ning O King Edwin, Honey, which one?
00:05:23
Speaker 1: So she calls me and she's like, I want to speak a guy. And I'm like, do you just cool? Walmart? You just expect to speak with the CEO.
00:05:30
Speaker 2: You know we have a Magavita, this Margareta. Yeah yeah, down the wall to the right. Betty White's already in that. She's in there all day.
00:05:39
Speaker 4: The grease community embraced her online and people started writing it making request to her for videos of their past on loved ones being welcomed into heaven.
00:05:49
Speaker 2: People don't remember when you pass on. People are likely not gonna say, like, and John was the vice president of this impressive company. They're gonna say, like what song you sang in the shower. They're gonna say, like, did you remember their birthday? And that time that you brought them flowers when you were having a hard day. People remember these small things.
00:06:07
Speaker 4: And so with this huge platform, huge talent, and huge heart, Taren is looking at things differently these days.
00:06:16
Speaker 2: I'm looking at experiences that I really want for myself instead of titles, because one has so much more weight than the other. I thought, the biggest thing that I could do in my life is have an impressive job, and I think I valued having power because I grew up feeling really powerless. So I went off and I got my undergrad I got my master's in an accelerated program. I got a four point zero. I worked in Diplomacay in Paris, like I thought I was going to be a diplomat, and I got to this point or I was like, who am I doing this for? And so what's the biggest change for me? Is letting go of needing titles or needing to be successful in other people's eyes, and finally pursuing what do I actually like to do, what makes me happy.
00:06:59
Speaker 4: You're way more than a job title. You're a complex, ever evolving person. Your passion, your skills, your experiences, your scars, how you love people, your opinions. Those are what make up your identity. Your journey may lead you to many titles or just a few. Some of us just have a few titles, and that's okay. What matters most is how we are showing up in those roles. So next time someone asks what's your title, think about Taren. Her title was just a starting point of her story. The real key to her success well, she says, it was total, complete, absolute delusional confidence.
00:07:53
Speaker 2: What does it mean to you to be pretty? Smart? I think that. I mean, I was in beauty pageants, I was eighteen up until I just give up my crown as Miss New York the other day. So I've literally lived the life of somebody who, honestly, I based a lot of my success around my looks. And I think what I realized was my superpower really ended up coming from the fact that feeling beautiful is important, right, It's it's it's important in this day and age just past which my life is already so hard. There's nothing wrong with investing in your parents, right, there's nothing wrong with that. But do you make other people feel pretty? That's such a powerful thing, and and I'm so grateful that I've learned that, because really, I think I think everybody is their own kind of pretty. I do too.
00:08:36
Speaker 4: We try and interview people who put a new spin on pretty. So I like to ask, cause I like to know what it means to each person.
00:08:42
Speaker 2: I almost put like an adjective to everybody, you know.
00:08:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I feel prettiest when I'm like right out of the ocean. For some reason, I love the water. I love the salt water, and I don't love makeup. So I think I'm in my most natural state and probably want and I'm I just sound so poring bit of service.
00:09:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, like giving. I just went to Ethiopia a few weeks ago.
00:09:05
Speaker 4: And I had not felt more like myself than that, And like I think maybe.
00:09:12
Speaker 2: A few years yeah, when I was on tour as Miss New York. I've gotten to work with kids quite a bit. Kids will eve. Kids can make you feel ugly cause they will be like they'll just say it. They're like you have food and your teeth. But kids, the way they look at you, you know what I mean, They're just ch kids are so full of joy and trust and when they look at themselves, yes, I mean, and that's what I love. Is like you can put you can put a princess dress on a little girl and be like you're a princess and everybody and it's so fun to watch other little girls cheering for her. They all cheer for each other. Yeah, I mean, so loud and so big. It makes me feel It makes me feel magic. It makes me feel good and beautiful and joyful to be part of that. So like I think I feel pretty. It's when I'm just in a I I think in service. When I'm when I'm doing something like w with kids, I think it's always feels so wholesome and so right. That would be an.
00:09:59
Speaker 4: A thing to say, I suppose, but oh, I guess like that's actually you took the words out of my mouth.
00:10:04
Speaker 2: I was working with kids, yeah, like working out. Yeah, I think because I think to myself. I always think to myself like, man, if I could see myself the way that these kids see me right, or the way they see themselves, like, I want to exude more of that. I love that about kids. I feel like we jumped ahead.
00:10:21
Speaker 4: I want to go backwards pre miss New York because yes, you had quite a journey there. Yeah, okay, So where did you grow up.
00:10:28
Speaker 2: I'm from Seattle, Washington. I'm from West Seattle, which is like a smaller subset of the city of Seattle. It's kind of like a burrow. And what's the most Seattle thing about you? The fact that I'm barefoot right now and I have my broken, my dirty birken stocks on the floor. That is that is dead. That's actually very specific Northwest. I hate I can't escape it, And then when did you come to New York. I'm in twenty eighteen. First was the reason I always know when to live in New York. And so when I committed to my university at Saint John's University, I came for school actually never been to New York. I just was like, that's it. And I only applied to one school. I only applied to Saint John's and I was like, that's my delusional delusional confidence has gotten me everywhere in life. I was like, I'm gonna get into Saint John's.
00:11:11
Speaker 4: So I think delusion gets a bad.
00:11:15
Speaker 2: Connotation. Is that a word? Yeah, it's amazing. It will get you far.
00:11:18
Speaker 4: You just have to make sure you have good friends who check you, maybe on delusion, so it doesn't cross over.
00:11:23
Speaker 2: I don't want to be checked. I just want to be out here living my life. I love it. I was like, I'm gonna live in New York one day. I'm gonna have a great Dane. I don't know what my job's gonna be, but I'm gonna live in New York City. And like so many people in my life try to check me. All of these dreams are disjointed and don't make sense. But to me, I think the biggest thing I've learned is like, your dreams don't have to make sense to anybody but you, truly the things that make you feel excited, I don't care what it is. I don't care if you want to have a dogy fund, I don't care what it is that makes you excited. Your dreams do not have to make sense to other people as long as it makes sense to you. Yeah, and a lot of time, it's not necessarily even about getting that destination of your lives. It's the journey on the way. The mistakes you make. Oh my god, I've made some mistakes. What comes to mind? Oh my god? Where do I starty? Like, what story do you want? I've made so many mistakes along the way, I think, and I think the worst mistakes though, that I'm that I'm glad that I made, is when I really didn't listen to my gut. I think the worst mistakes I've ever made, even with people, is when my good horse sense or my gut was like this, we shouldn't do this, we shouldn't say this, we shouldn't honestly trust this person, And then I talked myself out of how I feel that's the only big regrets I've ever had. I can't think of a specific situation, but I mean, there's just so many bad apartments. I've signed, bad contracts. I mean just so many times where my good horse sense was like, you shouldn't do this, just wait, and I went ahead.
00:12:46
Speaker 4: Well there's a theme here, right, because you're saying, like, listen to your intuition of your dreams, listen to your gut, and it works the other way too, when you have that spicy sense that something's wrong.
00:12:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I agree. So I think we talk a lot about listening to your intuition. Maybe the draw listen to your intuition as well. When something is right, it doesn't have to make sense to move with you.
00:13:07
Speaker 4: So you had a dream of moving to New York. Yes, was it what you thought it would be?
00:13:11
Speaker 2: Everything and more. I have to say it's one of my favorite dreams realized because there was never a moment where I became There is yet to be a moment where I've become jaded about New York. I remember I got off the plane and I like, by the way Saint John says in their advertisement there like we were a train wide away from New York City and I was like, oh my god, it's an hour train ride from Jamaica to New York City. So I bopped on the F train and I was like, wow, we're really it's we're going. I got on the F train and I was on that train for a fortnight. I got off that train, and I remember walking in Manhattan and I was such a tourist. I'm like looking up, like looking at the buildings. So guys like get out of the way, and I was like, sorry. I love New York and I love the people that I met. And I remember one thing about joys, like I really do think it comes from within. I was so broke when I moved to New York. I think I had like eighty dollars in my bank account, and what were you doing for work? I first when I landed and my mom was like, all right, like here's a hundred bucks, good luck. I love my mom's I was staying in a dorm, so I did never rent to pay right, but I had to buy groceries, right, So I got a I started walking dogs. Yeah, and then after that I became a waitress, right, and I have no experience, and then right and so I also I've cleaned houses, like I've done everything under the sun. And I'll be honest, like, those are some of the happiest times in my life, some of the happiest times in my life, the most joy I ever felt. Because life was very, very simple. I had to go to my job, I had to go to class, and in the meantime along the way, I got to really discover myself and discover New York's It's a very happy time in my life.
00:14:46
Speaker 4: I think that a lot of people that live in New York it's almost like a character in their life the way that other cities aren't. I think maybe Sex and the City did it, or it's a very literary city.
00:14:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, What is it in your life?
00:15:01
Speaker 4: Like, how would you characterize the city now? On the post miss new York? Like, what is it mean to New York?
00:15:07
Speaker 2: New York is everything, New York is generosity, New York is fun, New York is tough. You take New Yorkers out of New York, They're always going to be New Yorkers, Right, I'm not pretending to be a born and bread New Yorker. I'm not. I don't know. You had to have the accent.
00:15:20
Speaker 4: You got it.
00:15:22
Speaker 2: So I feel like, but you, New York is more than just being a New Yorker. New Yorker is about a bunch of people, like about like what like nine million people living on a tiny friggin island and we're all just making it work all the time. And I think that, Like, I mean, there was this like elderly gentleman when I lived in Queens and he's to sit every day with his cart on the corner. I don't even know what he was doing. He was at a cart. He like lived nearby, but helways hit a cart in his paper, I mean, and like every morning he'd say hy to me, I'd say hi to him. We talk, We talk every day. We need too much about each other. But we never knew each other's name. It just was never important to ask. Like he never asked mine, and so I never asked. There was a lot of love there, and I'm like, and that's New York. I mean, I think there's just so much love there all the time.
00:16:05
Speaker 4: This is a hard question to answer, and it made shift the energy a little bit. But I remember moving to la and I think of all the fun first, but they were all also some really hard days.
00:16:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's been your hardest day in New York? I think, Oh, I've had so many hard days. A friend of mine passed away, and I, oh, it's so hard to talk about a friend of that passed away. And I felt like, I felt like I couldn't believe that this person wasn't here anymore. And I walked out into the street, and it felt like everybody was just moving on, Like everybody was going to the store and like laughing with each other and talking to each other and getting in cabs and like New York the noise and New York just kept going. And I stopped and they weren't here anymore. And I was like, how can we all just keep going? Like how can this? How can New York just stay in New York like this without this person in New York. And I've had time to process that. Sometimes the noise, the continuation, how New York will just move on. I mean, New York will also just steamroll right over you, and that can be really hard. But I remember I was in a Walgreens and I just looked wretched because I was really struggling, and I was at the checkout counter, and I think I was just zoned out because I was grieving, and the lady at the checkout counter was like, sweetheart, are you okay? And I was like, I was like I'm fine, and she was like, all right, you just take your time, and she just went back to what she was doing. And it was just and it's that nice reminder that it's like, okay, you guys, you have permission to go on, but I'll catch up with you, you know, and you'll let me.
00:17:42
Speaker 4: So you're making me laugh in sort of a very sad story because of the accent you just did, and that accent has recently sort of been life changing for you in a lot of ways.
00:17:57
Speaker 2: Well, just have Blenny come down and check on the print. Now it's gotting.
00:18:01
Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's good in this's something wrong.
00:18:03
Speaker 2: With the printer. Okay.
00:18:05
Speaker 1: Can I put you on the hold bias is to climb really quick?
00:18:07
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Hi, thanks for waiting. Welcome to Heaven. What would you like to go? Starffit to be okay? And then I'm back. Yeah, now they got resuscitated, so I know.
00:18:25
Speaker 1: Just pop.
00:18:26
Speaker 2: So tell us about Denise, Denise. I don't know, she's she's wild. Denise is. So I used to work as a receptionist, so I know a lot about Denise's job.
00:18:35
Speaker 4: And this is pre Actually, let's back up because I don't want Press New York content creator. So you worked as a receptionist, Yeah, and then how did you get to be Miss New York.
00:18:45
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't even know. I think all the time, I'm like, how did the amount of times I've woken up like I flew a little close to the sun. I don't know where how I ended up here. I was at Miss America and I was ends uping first around Miss America, and I remember I'm in the top five of Miss America and I literally like looked down at my mom like what I was Like, I was a receptionist two years ago, So yeah, that was wild. But moving backwards, yes, I was a receptionist. I remember when I was working as a receptionist. I found everything funny all the time, every day. I think, when you're in a miserable job, you gotta find joy somewhere. And so I think Denise is like this the epitome of like the skits that kind of I thought of while I was working that job, and then one day I got out of the shower recently, I think in April, and I made one and I didn't I actually didn't think people would find it all that funny, but I found it funny, so I was enough for me to post it and people really liked it.
00:19:33
Speaker 4: And for people who haven't seen it, how do you describe what you did?
00:19:37
Speaker 2: Well, Denise is a receptionist in heaven and she's got to raise a fier phone. She's got a towel on her head because he got to wey a uniform. It's like part of the Union. I don't know, and Denise like welcomes souls into the afterlife. And but for a lot of it's it is a funny skit, but for a lot of people it's also something that's very comforting.
00:19:55
Speaker 4: Well, a lot of people in the grief community reached out to you, which I found pretty amazing. And now that you're telling me about your friend, I'm recognizing that maybe there's a tie in for you as well.
00:20:07
Speaker 2: If you're on the other side of twenty five and you haven't lost anyone, they're very, very lucky, And unfortunately, truth of the matter is you will not be lucky much longer. That is a part of living is grief. A part of loving somebody is grief. It is inevitable in our lifetimes we will grieve someone. And so I mean, I have an inbox, I have a folder in my email that is just full of messages from people. I responded to one this morning where I just was just this long story of somebody who's lost someone. And I think I didn't expect to learn so much about grief through this process, but it's so interesting. People will say the sweetest things. What's really interesting is the emails I get. They'll remember the smallest details about someone. They'll say, this is from my dad, and he loved this type of beer, and he watched this baseball game on this day all the time, and he always sang this song in the shower and it's so sweet, and you think, I mean, that is really love is people don't remember when you pass on. People are likely not gonna say, like, and John was the vice president of this impressive company. They're gonna say, like, what song you sang in the shower. You're gonna say, like, did you remember their birthday and that time that you brought them flowers then? Than when you were having a hard day. People remember these small things. And I think that's the really human, the human part of grief that I've learned to really appreciate.
00:21:27
Speaker 4: There's just a book that talks about eulogy versus resume virtues.
00:21:33
Speaker 2: Interesting, It's really interesting.
00:21:34
Speaker 4: So it's like while your mountain climbing is what I call it, we always think about what's on our resume and those values, and then we have to stop and think, well, what are our eulogy values? Like what do we want somebody to say at our funeral?
00:21:49
Speaker 2: Right?
00:21:49
Speaker 4: And I think when you're young it's important to consider boths. But as you get older, I think the eulogi values really start to outweigh the resume.
00:21:58
Speaker 2: That's so fascinating. It makes me wonder. I'm like, which which one have I valued more?
00:22:04
Speaker 4: It's okay to value both, yeah, I think, especially at our time of life.
00:22:09
Speaker 2: I think I think you have to balance it all the time and be cognizant of both every day every year. That's exhausting. It gets hard to get something done and do and be kind while you're doing it. It's right, it's do you find that's interesting? You find it hard. I don't necessarily find it hard, but sometimes I do when all the pieces are falling and like, you know, it's hitting the fan. It is an exercise of restraint. One of my best friends, she works in PR, and she taught me the saying. She always says, it's PR not the er, because sometimes like your job or whatever's in front of you feels like life and death and so important and you have to like rein it in and be like, is PR not the er? Like this is not life and death, This is not that important. It is important, but nothing is ever more important than having patience to people being kind to people. For me, those are things that I really really value. So I'm not saying I'm perfect at that. I'm sure I've lost my temper before, but I always deeply regret it when it happens, you know. I mean, it's really important to me to be kind to people.
00:23:05
Speaker 4: What's been the biggest changes or what have been the biggest changes in your life since Miss New York and becoming a content creator aside from not being a receptionist.
00:23:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought the biggest thing that I could do in my life is have an impressive job. And I think I valued having power because I grew up feeling really powerless. And then and I'm like a first gen college student, and so I watched like the power that my mom. I mean, she's had to like climb this corporate ladder. She didn't have a degree, so she's been very, very successful, but she had to work twenty times harder than anyone else. My mom is always really clear, like I don't want this for you, like I want you right. So I went off and I got my undergrad I got my master's in an accelerated program. I got a four point zero. I worked in diplomacy in Paris, like I thought I was going to be a diplomat. And I got to this point or I was like, who am I doing this for? Really? I was like, why don't I even want any of this stuff? Like what does any of this even mean? I It wasn't necessarily existential. It was more so that I was like every as I got each achievement. I got the master's, I got the grade point average, I got the internships. They were fun, it was cool. I got the crown after six years of trying, I was crowned Miss New York. And there's this really extreme high where you're like, oh my god, and then it dies off and you're sitting in bed at night and you're like, Okay, now what and you're like, I've got to stop this. I don't want to keep asking myself now why it's exhausting, Like when do I get to live my life? And so what's the biggest change for me is letting go of needing titles or needing to be successful in other people's eyes, and finally pursuing what do I actually like to do, what makes me happy? And like not belittling small happiness and not belittling small victories.
00:24:52
Speaker 4: You're a very purpose driven and ambitious person, So how do you think about melding those two things.
00:24:58
Speaker 2: So now I'll set goals. And I used to have goals that look like by the time I'm twenty six, what did I want to be? I think I wanted like a I wanted to either be a diplomatic or I want to be, you know, an executive in a company somewhere, Like I wanted to be a really big deal. And now instead I'll be like, one thing I really want in the next couple years is I want to own property, like I want grass. I want to wake up and make coffee, you know, in my own home. Right, these are things that I still have to work hard to get. But like, I'm looking at experiences that I really want for myself instead of titles, because one has so much more weight than the other.
00:25:35
Speaker 4: Did giving up the Miss New York title hurt in anyway?
00:25:39
Speaker 2: No, people, A lot of people told me that I'd be super sad, and that's normal for some people. That's totally normal for me, I think because I was already at this place where I was like, well, holy smokes, I did it. I did all the things that I wanted to do. I realized the dream. Now I just want to be enough for myself, and so giving up the Miss New York titles, like, I'm excited for someone else to to go and do it. The new Girl's great, But for me, I'm really excited to just be myself.
00:26:05
Speaker 4: Tell me about what pageants are like, because I think you are so intellectual and soulful. Not that other beauty pageant contestants aren't. I think some of them are not. How did you connect with the other women there?
00:26:22
Speaker 2: I would say this to anyone, like if they were looking for advice, I always say, like, don't lose your sauce. I think that people become so obsessed with being perfect or emulating an image that I'll watch people talk to you like this, and then I'll say, okay, so do you want to work on your interview or work on whatever, work on something that's toudas pageantry and they'll go okay, and they like turn on this person, and I'm like, who's this? Like who is that? And to their like, world peace. It's so lame. And not everybody agrees with my methodology. I'm sure a lot of people don't. Necessarily doesn't like me as Miss New York. That's fine, that's your prerogative. But I was somebody who refused to let go of that soulful feeling, that sauce that phone I want to have fun. I was like, why do this? You guys? I would say this to rooms people like why are we doing this? If it's not fun? Why ask yourself that? And no one have an answer for me. I was like, all right, so let's bring let's infuse fun into every moment of this and too, everything that we do or else there is no point and we really are just the stereotypical pageant people. And that's something I really reject because I've witnessed, you know, in my time in pageantry. Also just some of the most incredibly intellectual, compassionate advocate women that are advocates, I mean women that are really big, like they're really a big deal in their field. They're lawyers, these are doctors, like these are really impressive people. So you know, it's a great thing to do. If it's kind of like joining a sorority. In a lot of ways, it's a very very competitive authority to get. It's not collaborative, but you are competing to win, so it is competitive. But in the same way, I'm sure olympians can make friends with each other right when they're competing, or athletes make friends of each other along the way. When you're competing, you're competing, but we know when you're not on say eating a meal. Yeah, when you're eating a meal, Oh my god. It's so I'm my closest friends I've made. What did it mean to you to be Miss new York? Miss new York is a super diverse a group. I mean, Venessa Williams was Miss New York and she was the first black Miss America. But that was in the eighties, so we've had a lot of diversity. We're a legacy of diverse women. However, traditionally, up until the last couple of years, black women when they compete have to straighten their hair where weave like you mean have to. It's just because generally that was the way to win. I mean like the fact that I was told at one point, and I've said this before, I was told like, I was like, what if I wore my natural hair this year? And this was years ago. They were like, just win the title and then wear your hair natural, Like once you get it, it doesn't matter, and then you can win. Wear your natural because they hadn't really seen anyone do before. And so we are seeing now more women win with braids and natural hairs and stuff like that. But that'd be so cool. We have yet to have in Miss America that is black when with braids, banto knots or like a fro. But I think that's next and I would love to see it happen. I would too, I think it will. I agree. What do you feel like it's next for you? Because it seems to me like it's a vacation. No, I'm gonna just have fun. I'm gonna have fun. I wanna. I want to connect with people. I really love media. I love what I'm getting to do. I love You're hosting a little bits now and that's been super cool. So I'm really grateful for it because I love talking to people. I love making people laugh. I love this. This is so fun for me. So the fact that I get to do it as for a living, I feel very blessed. That's really beautiful. And you just got engaged. I did just get engaged. Happened. It's beautiful. Yes, thank you. You've been with your now fiance for a long time, eight years. Yeah.
00:29:49
Speaker 4: How do you know, Like when you're so young and you meet someone and you grow up together, how do you know it's your person?
00:29:55
Speaker 2: I don't. That's the myth is that you don't. And that's why I don't think. I don't think that are at this current generation, like nobody can seem to like stay together, right, I mean, I feel like everybody's in this perpetual stay of dating because they expect for like the clouds to depart and there to be a sign in this guy and like this is it. And that is because y'all don't, like, you don't trust yourself to just know, or to take a chance, or to take a risk to love somebody is inherently risky. You might get hurt, you might hurt each other. And I think a lot of people feel that risk and they're like, okay, let me, let me just back on out of hearing it out right, this might not be my person. But what if it is? What if and I'm putting this out there, there is no you know, there is nothing written in the stars. What if love is as beautiful as you just choosing somebody every day. Sometimes I think I get the idea of fate to people like being meant to be together. I think that that's very soulmates. I think, yes, that's very spiritual and beautiful, but it kind of removes a lot of the accountability and work out of reallytions because then it's just like what we were, just meant to be together. So then when it gets hard, it doesn't feel like you're meant to be together anymore. Versus What I found is when I just came at it from the perspective of I don't know of verse homemades, but I do know that I love you, and I do know you're my best friend, and I do know I don't want to be with anybody but you. One thing we talk about all the time is there is a security and knowing that no matter what, I will always love you. No matter what comes, I will always love you. It feels like family. Like think of someone in your family that you love. It doesn't matter what happens, you will always love them. And so there's a sense of security there. And so sure we have days we're frustrated with each other, but I never doubt that this is the person that I'd like to spend my life with.
00:31:46
Speaker 1: Im.
00:31:46
Speaker 2: I do a little rapid fire.
00:31:47
Speaker 4: Okay, if you could give one piece of advice to young women, what would it be.
00:31:54
Speaker 2: You will not be successful in spite of what makes you different or weird. You will be successful because of what it makes you different and weird, So embrace it. I wish someone would have told me that. Maybe they did and I didn't internalize it or not. I think, and I think sometimes be yourself like that just goes right over her head until you actually believe it. It's hard to just be yourself sometimes. I think as you get older, you learn how to do it. Yeah, it's an ambiguous directive. What does that mean? Yeah?
00:32:21
Speaker 4: A tip for overcoming feelings of self doubt.
00:32:25
Speaker 2: Lean into it. You're just gonna die. Like, stop feeling guilty or feeling anxious about the fact that you're doubting yourself. It's not evidence that there is something to doubt. It just means that you're a human baby girl. Lean into it, have a cry, call you somebody and then be like I'm having self doubt and let them smack you across the face and like come back. Your anxiety is not evidence that there's something wrong. It's just evidence that you're human. Beautiful.
00:32:48
Speaker 4: Your favorite follow on tiktoko.
00:32:51
Speaker 2: I love Teffy. Teffy's the best Hei Teffi. She's like, I love her so much. And I was really excited when she followed me back and she knew who I was, but wait, you know followed me that. I was like, god, Catherine Heigel, Oh that was big. Yeah, that's She's just like this is so funny. Sheld like call me that dont thing I did, and followed me and I was like, oh my god.
00:33:12
Speaker 4: So I've been staring at you for the last forty five minutes thinking, oh, you're going.
00:33:16
Speaker 2: To be an actress. Oh thank you? Do you feel that way. I would love to. Oh can you come me here to.
00:33:22
Speaker 4: Show so Shoshana is Terreen's Managerlena my good friend. Everybody in the audience here, come here, thinks that you're going to be an actress.
00:33:33
Speaker 2: We know this is my manager. I'm telling all of them. Yeah, she will be an actress.
00:33:40
Speaker 5: Yes, she'll be an actress.
00:33:41
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:33:42
Speaker 4: Oh.
00:33:42
Speaker 2: This is my Other advice to young women is around yourself with people that are sorry. You know what, you know what, sho Jeanne. I think somebody needs to hear this, because you know what, you're very nice to me. And I know you're like no, but you're nice to me. And I know a lot of young women out there. This is me and you are kind person you are you know, I know a lot of young women out there. You need to hear this, and I don't know how else in this room needs to hear this. Stop hanging out with people that are not nice to you. Correct, listen to me, Listen to me. Yeah, I like that a great. If you're on a date with a guy and he hurts your feelings before you sit here like maybe I'm being sensitive, baby, walk out of the date. You can pay for the food like bye bye. Life is too short. Life is too short to not someend. How people that are not nice to you, like I cannot say this enough, like stop accepting treatment. I mean like, well they're being funny. That's just well, that's just that's just Jane. She's just like that. So she's not she's just rude. Stop. Do not hang out with people that are not nice to you. So like and do not like my manager, she's also my friend. You find a way to manage me and do your job nicely, and you've inspired me a lot because I want to be like that too. That's so nice.
00:34:51
Speaker 6: I nice to meet her where she is and anyone.
00:34:53
Speaker 5: I think it's important to kind of like get inside their heads, know how they're feeling, and know how they want.
00:34:58
Speaker 2: To be spoken to, Like if she's stressed, why am I gonna come at you with stress?
00:35:02
Speaker 5: And then I think I started have to be patient because that's what she needs in that moment.
00:35:06
Speaker 2: You just have to be patient with them.
00:35:08
Speaker 6: And I'm like, you have a busy schedule with all these deliverables, like we need a mental health day.
00:35:11
Speaker 2: We're gonna push this back.
00:35:13
Speaker 5: It doesn't really need to be delivered at this time, there's repressibility, so I just feel you.
00:35:19
Speaker 2: I also like, surround yourself with people who you want to emulate, and you want to be more like I would say that too, Like there are a lot of things about you that I would The moment I met you, I really admired about you and I was like, ooh, I hope that you rub off on you. There are a lot of things about you that I'd like to rub off on me, and I think that's how relationships works, and it rubs off on me too. I hope you make me more organized.
00:35:37
Speaker 4: I don't know.
00:35:39
Speaker 6: I I reached out to Taran because I was inspired by her and I was like, she's funny, Like she was like an oopsie creator. I would say, like she made this TikTok because she'll talk about it. Her mom told her to do it.
00:35:51
Speaker 5: And I reached out her right away because I was like, this is just a woman that I understand and I'd love.
00:35:55
Speaker 2: To work with. So it was organic. Oh, it was totally organic.
00:35:58
Speaker 6: And I like hit her off on Instagram because she was really busy on TikTok.
00:36:02
Speaker 2: I was like, there's a lot of noise there. I'm gonna go to our Instagram. I think I had like eight hundred followers or something. I mean eight hundred and you've reached out.
00:36:11
Speaker 4: What book did you read that changed your life that everybody should read?
00:36:15
Speaker 2: Oh, I feel like this is a very boring answer because everyone's going to say this Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell is such a good book. Nobody said that. Really, I feel like it's a really common book. Okay, shows Oh god, I can't.
00:36:26
Speaker 4: What is the smartest decision you've ever made.
00:36:29
Speaker 2: Moving to New York? I would say, saying yes to you, I was asking, I know, I was like saying even the movies to New York, saying yes to you. The smartest decision you have to help me? Never be shay to pay people. Don't ever don't ever be too proud to pay people to do things that you were not good at, or to help, like right, ask for help, Like, do not be too proud to just spend the money on somebody who was better at it than you. Just do it. What's your smartest decision? Honestly, Oh, it's a good one.
00:36:59
Speaker 6: I would say my smartest decision is when I was like on this my career journey, was that moment.
00:37:05
Speaker 2: Where I went off on my own, Oh yeah, to manage.
00:37:09
Speaker 5: Creators because I worked a lot of publishing companies that were social first, but like some of them didn't have as much of a like a face presence, right, they were like a brand, and I wanted to work with the people that were changing the game. And I, you know, chose Tara, and I chose a few of my other clients, and like, I've been in.
00:37:26
Speaker 2: Brand partnerships for many years and when.
00:37:27
Speaker 6: You would we would do like a partnership and see the comments and it's all like I love this for you, Like this brand makes so much sense for you, Like thanks for keeping an authentic I'm like wow, Like this is the most fulfilling I've ever been in my entire life, just surrounding.
00:37:41
Speaker 5: Myself with people who make work feel less like work. And I'm just like, best decision.
00:37:47
Speaker 4: It was a bet on yourself, all right, everybody pick a question?
00:37:52
Speaker 2: Okay, pick one. Everyone in the here is like, how was this missed? New York? Hey, it's over now. What's the one song that without fail gets you dancing? Nanna Nanna, Nanna, Nanna Usha. I can't help myself, I can't. It is like a demon takes over in my body. I could be at a wake and I would dance on their great if that's when I came on, I don't care. I don't.
00:38:21
Speaker 4: I think that that's why you guys get along because shows is a great dance.
00:38:24
Speaker 2: I should I should knew what he was doing with them. Okay, you know, okay.
00:38:28
Speaker 4: I always say everybody gets the card that they're meant to get.
00:38:32
Speaker 2: And I looked over, so shut his shoulder.
00:38:34
Speaker 4: Nobody has, in however many episodes, has picked this card. And if you all know her the way that we know her, this is the card for her.
00:38:43
Speaker 6: So I'm not gonna have the best answer, but it is, what's the weirdest thing you've ever got in the car?
00:38:48
Speaker 5: I mean my car was like my life, Like I changed in that car. I eight meals by myself. I cried on my nineteenth birthday at a McDonald's because my friends went to a restaurant and didn't want to.
00:38:56
Speaker 6: Go to But I would say, like, maybe not the weirdest thing, but I just love I would like make a CD. If you guys know what CDs are, the word things that.
00:39:04
Speaker 1: Existed, or like, oh come on, and I put it in the car, and.
00:39:07
Speaker 5: I just drive around for hours listening to my favorite songs. I even told Taren. Like last night, I had an uber take me home and I changed the destination four times because I asked them if I.
00:39:17
Speaker 2: Could take over the.
00:39:20
Speaker 6: And I just put on my own songs for thirty seconds and I had a party.
00:39:23
Speaker 2: That's because we're in New York. In LA or Chicago, you can bump in your own car. That's a wrap. I'm pretty smart.
00:39:37
Speaker 4: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good day. To have a good day. I'll see you next week.
00:39:57
Speaker 7: Please ma fee in erpyes from my center at the Senter.
00:40:08
Speaker 2: Me please len me.
00:40:12
Speaker 8: Fee in.
00:40:16
Speaker 7: Yes from my center at the center. Me please len me fee in arpys from my center at the center. Me please len me fee in arpyes from my center at the center.
00:40:50
Speaker 2: Me.
00:40:52
Speaker 8: My heart is al bend. I am well.
00:41:01
Speaker 2: In meason no.
00:41:05
Speaker 9: Home love love love my hearty, I am away.
00:41:17
Speaker 2: In measing nose.
00:41:21
Speaker 8: Home love love love love m m m h.
00:41:56
Speaker 7: Please love me fee in beece from my senta at the center.
00:42:08
Speaker 2: Me please lend me feel in bes from my center at the center.
00:42:22
Speaker 10: Me, please lend me feed Let me feed beece from my Santa sainta sint me.
00:42:38
Speaker 7: Please lend me fie, please lend me feed.
00:42:45
Speaker 2: Be the Santas from the center.
00:42:50
Speaker 8: Me my Harness all bend. I am Amason lody O love love love, my hearty, I.
00:43:13
Speaker 10: Am away Amason lod.
00:43:21
Speaker 8: O love love, love love. Mm hmm mm hmmm
Speaker 1: Hello, everybody.
00:00:02
Speaker 2: I hope.
00:00:03
Speaker 3: I don't know what I hope this week. It's been such a tough week. Every time I go to record this, I start crying. Okay, I got myself together. Here's what I hope. I hope that we don't lose hope in this time when.
00:00:24
Speaker 4: I don't know. A lot of my friends said it feels tough to be a human being. I don't know if I feel that, but I know that's the sentiment of a lot of people. There's this Albert Einstein quote, we cannot despair of humanity since we ourselves are human beings.
00:00:42
Speaker 2: And I like that.
00:00:44
Speaker 4: I like that quote because we all have to be the change we want to see. We have to be peace in our own lives, our own families, our own worlds. And I don't know about you, but I've really well some laughter and distractions this week, and so my other hope is that this week's podcast will bring that. Our guest is a bright light. She's funny and kind and full of humanity, and I think the next thirty six minutes will make you smile. But I also don't want to gloss over what we all witnessed and what we're feeling so at the end of the podcast, I wanted to play this song that is really meaningful to me. It's the song that I play if I'm feeling anxious or just need to take a breath or just need a little calm. It's called Inner Peace by Beautiful Chorus, and you can get it, you know, anywhere, But you can also save this episode if you'd like, so you can play it.
00:02:01
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:02:02
Speaker 4: I think it'll bring you just a breath, that's what it brings me. Okay, let's get into today's episode and let's smile a little bit or a lot. Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever, pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe and each week my guests and I have conversations that put a new spin on pretty This is pretty smart.
00:02:33
Speaker 2: Picture this.
00:02:34
Speaker 4: You're at a dinner or an event or any gathering, and the small talk inevitably turns to your job.
00:02:41
Speaker 2: What do you do?
00:02:42
Speaker 4: It's a common icebreaker, right, But what they're really asking is what's your title. It's like the world's most concise introduction. And I'll be honest, sometimes I ask people what they do because I want to know how they spend their time what they're interested in. It helps me get to know them. But on the flo whipside, you can always tell when somebody's asking what you do because they want to know if you're worth their time or not.
00:03:09
Speaker 2: And that's the thing about titles.
00:03:11
Speaker 4: They can give us a small glimpse into how someone spends their time, but they don't give us a glimpse into who they are.
00:03:18
Speaker 2: We live in a world where.
00:03:19
Speaker 4: Success stories include college dropouts turned tech moguls and stay at home parents turn best selling authors. Titles, or lack thereof, do not tell the full story, So how should we view them? I kind of think of them like makeup fund towaar, but not the essence of who I am.
00:03:42
Speaker 2: Our guest today.
00:03:43
Speaker 4: Taren Delaney knows this well. She held one of the most well known titles in our country, Miss New York, and while she held the title proudly, she did it differently her way.
00:03:56
Speaker 2: So they're like World Peace. It's so lame, and not everybody agrees with my methodology. I'm sure a lot of people don't. Necessarily doesn't like me as Miss new York. That's fine, that's prerogative. But I was somebody who refused to let go of that soulful feeling that saw us that fun. I wanted to have fun.
00:04:14
Speaker 4: She was also the first black Miss New York to win with her natural hair.
00:04:18
Speaker 2: Your dreams do not have to make sense to other people as long as it makes sense to you. Yeah, and a lot of times it's not necessarily even about getting to that destination of your lives. It's the journey on the way, the mistakes you make. Alad, I've made some mistakes.
00:04:32
Speaker 4: All of those mistakes landed her exactly where she's supposed to be a content creator, an actress, and I'm gonna throw in comedian because she's hysterical. With one point five million followers on social Terreen's audience knows her for her honesty, humor, and compassion. A few months ago, she created a fictional character named Denise, Heaven's receptionist welcoming people into Heaven.
00:05:00
Speaker 1: Thanks for calling seven seven seven Heaven.
00:05:02
Speaker 2: This is Denise.
00:05:02
Speaker 1: In case we get disconnected, How can I assist you?
00:05:04
Speaker 2: That's so great that you went every Sunday, but you also made it looks like you made forty eight Starbucks baristas cry, Oh my God, puts her in my tea in the wine, Miss ning O King Edwin, Honey, which one?
00:05:23
Speaker 1: So she calls me and she's like, I want to speak a guy. And I'm like, do you just cool? Walmart? You just expect to speak with the CEO.
00:05:30
Speaker 2: You know we have a Magavita, this Margareta. Yeah yeah, down the wall to the right. Betty White's already in that. She's in there all day.
00:05:39
Speaker 4: The grease community embraced her online and people started writing it making request to her for videos of their past on loved ones being welcomed into heaven.
00:05:49
Speaker 2: People don't remember when you pass on. People are likely not gonna say, like, and John was the vice president of this impressive company. They're gonna say, like what song you sang in the shower. They're gonna say, like, did you remember their birthday? And that time that you brought them flowers when you were having a hard day. People remember these small things.
00:06:07
Speaker 4: And so with this huge platform, huge talent, and huge heart, Taren is looking at things differently these days.
00:06:16
Speaker 2: I'm looking at experiences that I really want for myself instead of titles, because one has so much more weight than the other. I thought, the biggest thing that I could do in my life is have an impressive job, and I think I valued having power because I grew up feeling really powerless. So I went off and I got my undergrad I got my master's in an accelerated program. I got a four point zero. I worked in Diplomacay in Paris, like I thought I was going to be a diplomat, and I got to this point or I was like, who am I doing this for? And so what's the biggest change for me? Is letting go of needing titles or needing to be successful in other people's eyes, and finally pursuing what do I actually like to do, what makes me happy.
00:06:59
Speaker 4: You're way more than a job title. You're a complex, ever evolving person. Your passion, your skills, your experiences, your scars, how you love people, your opinions. Those are what make up your identity. Your journey may lead you to many titles or just a few. Some of us just have a few titles, and that's okay. What matters most is how we are showing up in those roles. So next time someone asks what's your title, think about Taren. Her title was just a starting point of her story. The real key to her success well, she says, it was total, complete, absolute delusional confidence.
00:07:53
Speaker 2: What does it mean to you to be pretty? Smart? I think that. I mean, I was in beauty pageants, I was eighteen up until I just give up my crown as Miss New York the other day. So I've literally lived the life of somebody who, honestly, I based a lot of my success around my looks. And I think what I realized was my superpower really ended up coming from the fact that feeling beautiful is important, right, It's it's it's important in this day and age just past which my life is already so hard. There's nothing wrong with investing in your parents, right, there's nothing wrong with that. But do you make other people feel pretty? That's such a powerful thing, and and I'm so grateful that I've learned that, because really, I think I think everybody is their own kind of pretty. I do too.
00:08:36
Speaker 4: We try and interview people who put a new spin on pretty. So I like to ask, cause I like to know what it means to each person.
00:08:42
Speaker 2: I almost put like an adjective to everybody, you know.
00:08:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I feel prettiest when I'm like right out of the ocean. For some reason, I love the water. I love the salt water, and I don't love makeup. So I think I'm in my most natural state and probably want and I'm I just sound so poring bit of service.
00:09:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, like giving. I just went to Ethiopia a few weeks ago.
00:09:05
Speaker 4: And I had not felt more like myself than that, And like I think maybe.
00:09:12
Speaker 2: A few years yeah, when I was on tour as Miss New York. I've gotten to work with kids quite a bit. Kids will eve. Kids can make you feel ugly cause they will be like they'll just say it. They're like you have food and your teeth. But kids, the way they look at you, you know what I mean, They're just ch kids are so full of joy and trust and when they look at themselves, yes, I mean, and that's what I love. Is like you can put you can put a princess dress on a little girl and be like you're a princess and everybody and it's so fun to watch other little girls cheering for her. They all cheer for each other. Yeah, I mean, so loud and so big. It makes me feel It makes me feel magic. It makes me feel good and beautiful and joyful to be part of that. So like I think I feel pretty. It's when I'm just in a I I think in service. When I'm when I'm doing something like w with kids, I think it's always feels so wholesome and so right. That would be an.
00:09:59
Speaker 4: A thing to say, I suppose, but oh, I guess like that's actually you took the words out of my mouth.
00:10:04
Speaker 2: I was working with kids, yeah, like working out. Yeah, I think because I think to myself. I always think to myself like, man, if I could see myself the way that these kids see me right, or the way they see themselves, like, I want to exude more of that. I love that about kids. I feel like we jumped ahead.
00:10:21
Speaker 4: I want to go backwards pre miss New York because yes, you had quite a journey there. Yeah, okay, So where did you grow up.
00:10:28
Speaker 2: I'm from Seattle, Washington. I'm from West Seattle, which is like a smaller subset of the city of Seattle. It's kind of like a burrow. And what's the most Seattle thing about you? The fact that I'm barefoot right now and I have my broken, my dirty birken stocks on the floor. That is that is dead. That's actually very specific Northwest. I hate I can't escape it, And then when did you come to New York. I'm in twenty eighteen. First was the reason I always know when to live in New York. And so when I committed to my university at Saint John's University, I came for school actually never been to New York. I just was like, that's it. And I only applied to one school. I only applied to Saint John's and I was like, that's my delusional delusional confidence has gotten me everywhere in life. I was like, I'm gonna get into Saint John's.
00:11:11
Speaker 4: So I think delusion gets a bad.
00:11:15
Speaker 2: Connotation. Is that a word? Yeah, it's amazing. It will get you far.
00:11:18
Speaker 4: You just have to make sure you have good friends who check you, maybe on delusion, so it doesn't cross over.
00:11:23
Speaker 2: I don't want to be checked. I just want to be out here living my life. I love it. I was like, I'm gonna live in New York one day. I'm gonna have a great Dane. I don't know what my job's gonna be, but I'm gonna live in New York City. And like so many people in my life try to check me. All of these dreams are disjointed and don't make sense. But to me, I think the biggest thing I've learned is like, your dreams don't have to make sense to anybody but you, truly the things that make you feel excited, I don't care what it is. I don't care if you want to have a dogy fund, I don't care what it is that makes you excited. Your dreams do not have to make sense to other people as long as it makes sense to you. Yeah, and a lot of time, it's not necessarily even about getting that destination of your lives. It's the journey on the way. The mistakes you make. Oh my god, I've made some mistakes. What comes to mind? Oh my god? Where do I starty? Like, what story do you want? I've made so many mistakes along the way, I think, and I think the worst mistakes though, that I'm that I'm glad that I made, is when I really didn't listen to my gut. I think the worst mistakes I've ever made, even with people, is when my good horse sense or my gut was like this, we shouldn't do this, we shouldn't say this, we shouldn't honestly trust this person, And then I talked myself out of how I feel that's the only big regrets I've ever had. I can't think of a specific situation, but I mean, there's just so many bad apartments. I've signed, bad contracts. I mean just so many times where my good horse sense was like, you shouldn't do this, just wait, and I went ahead.
00:12:46
Speaker 4: Well there's a theme here, right, because you're saying, like, listen to your intuition of your dreams, listen to your gut, and it works the other way too, when you have that spicy sense that something's wrong.
00:12:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I agree. So I think we talk a lot about listening to your intuition. Maybe the draw listen to your intuition as well. When something is right, it doesn't have to make sense to move with you.
00:13:07
Speaker 4: So you had a dream of moving to New York. Yes, was it what you thought it would be?
00:13:11
Speaker 2: Everything and more. I have to say it's one of my favorite dreams realized because there was never a moment where I became There is yet to be a moment where I've become jaded about New York. I remember I got off the plane and I like, by the way Saint John says in their advertisement there like we were a train wide away from New York City and I was like, oh my god, it's an hour train ride from Jamaica to New York City. So I bopped on the F train and I was like, wow, we're really it's we're going. I got on the F train and I was on that train for a fortnight. I got off that train, and I remember walking in Manhattan and I was such a tourist. I'm like looking up, like looking at the buildings. So guys like get out of the way, and I was like, sorry. I love New York and I love the people that I met. And I remember one thing about joys, like I really do think it comes from within. I was so broke when I moved to New York. I think I had like eighty dollars in my bank account, and what were you doing for work? I first when I landed and my mom was like, all right, like here's a hundred bucks, good luck. I love my mom's I was staying in a dorm, so I did never rent to pay right, but I had to buy groceries, right, So I got a I started walking dogs. Yeah, and then after that I became a waitress, right, and I have no experience, and then right and so I also I've cleaned houses, like I've done everything under the sun. And I'll be honest, like, those are some of the happiest times in my life, some of the happiest times in my life, the most joy I ever felt. Because life was very, very simple. I had to go to my job, I had to go to class, and in the meantime along the way, I got to really discover myself and discover New York's It's a very happy time in my life.
00:14:46
Speaker 4: I think that a lot of people that live in New York it's almost like a character in their life the way that other cities aren't. I think maybe Sex and the City did it, or it's a very literary city.
00:14:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, What is it in your life?
00:15:01
Speaker 4: Like, how would you characterize the city now? On the post miss new York? Like, what is it mean to New York?
00:15:07
Speaker 2: New York is everything, New York is generosity, New York is fun, New York is tough. You take New Yorkers out of New York, They're always going to be New Yorkers, Right, I'm not pretending to be a born and bread New Yorker. I'm not. I don't know. You had to have the accent.
00:15:20
Speaker 4: You got it.
00:15:22
Speaker 2: So I feel like, but you, New York is more than just being a New Yorker. New Yorker is about a bunch of people, like about like what like nine million people living on a tiny friggin island and we're all just making it work all the time. And I think that, Like, I mean, there was this like elderly gentleman when I lived in Queens and he's to sit every day with his cart on the corner. I don't even know what he was doing. He was at a cart. He like lived nearby, but helways hit a cart in his paper, I mean, and like every morning he'd say hy to me, I'd say hi to him. We talk, We talk every day. We need too much about each other. But we never knew each other's name. It just was never important to ask. Like he never asked mine, and so I never asked. There was a lot of love there, and I'm like, and that's New York. I mean, I think there's just so much love there all the time.
00:16:05
Speaker 4: This is a hard question to answer, and it made shift the energy a little bit. But I remember moving to la and I think of all the fun first, but they were all also some really hard days.
00:16:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's been your hardest day in New York? I think, Oh, I've had so many hard days. A friend of mine passed away, and I, oh, it's so hard to talk about a friend of that passed away. And I felt like, I felt like I couldn't believe that this person wasn't here anymore. And I walked out into the street, and it felt like everybody was just moving on, Like everybody was going to the store and like laughing with each other and talking to each other and getting in cabs and like New York the noise and New York just kept going. And I stopped and they weren't here anymore. And I was like, how can we all just keep going? Like how can this? How can New York just stay in New York like this without this person in New York. And I've had time to process that. Sometimes the noise, the continuation, how New York will just move on. I mean, New York will also just steamroll right over you, and that can be really hard. But I remember I was in a Walgreens and I just looked wretched because I was really struggling, and I was at the checkout counter, and I think I was just zoned out because I was grieving, and the lady at the checkout counter was like, sweetheart, are you okay? And I was like, I was like I'm fine, and she was like, all right, you just take your time, and she just went back to what she was doing. And it was just and it's that nice reminder that it's like, okay, you guys, you have permission to go on, but I'll catch up with you, you know, and you'll let me.
00:17:42
Speaker 4: So you're making me laugh in sort of a very sad story because of the accent you just did, and that accent has recently sort of been life changing for you in a lot of ways.
00:17:57
Speaker 2: Well, just have Blenny come down and check on the print. Now it's gotting.
00:18:01
Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's good in this's something wrong.
00:18:03
Speaker 2: With the printer. Okay.
00:18:05
Speaker 1: Can I put you on the hold bias is to climb really quick?
00:18:07
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Hi, thanks for waiting. Welcome to Heaven. What would you like to go? Starffit to be okay? And then I'm back. Yeah, now they got resuscitated, so I know.
00:18:25
Speaker 1: Just pop.
00:18:26
Speaker 2: So tell us about Denise, Denise. I don't know, she's she's wild. Denise is. So I used to work as a receptionist, so I know a lot about Denise's job.
00:18:35
Speaker 4: And this is pre Actually, let's back up because I don't want Press New York content creator. So you worked as a receptionist, Yeah, and then how did you get to be Miss New York.
00:18:45
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't even know. I think all the time, I'm like, how did the amount of times I've woken up like I flew a little close to the sun. I don't know where how I ended up here. I was at Miss America and I was ends uping first around Miss America, and I remember I'm in the top five of Miss America and I literally like looked down at my mom like what I was Like, I was a receptionist two years ago, So yeah, that was wild. But moving backwards, yes, I was a receptionist. I remember when I was working as a receptionist. I found everything funny all the time, every day. I think, when you're in a miserable job, you gotta find joy somewhere. And so I think Denise is like this the epitome of like the skits that kind of I thought of while I was working that job, and then one day I got out of the shower recently, I think in April, and I made one and I didn't I actually didn't think people would find it all that funny, but I found it funny, so I was enough for me to post it and people really liked it.
00:19:33
Speaker 4: And for people who haven't seen it, how do you describe what you did?
00:19:37
Speaker 2: Well, Denise is a receptionist in heaven and she's got to raise a fier phone. She's got a towel on her head because he got to wey a uniform. It's like part of the Union. I don't know, and Denise like welcomes souls into the afterlife. And but for a lot of it's it is a funny skit, but for a lot of people it's also something that's very comforting.
00:19:55
Speaker 4: Well, a lot of people in the grief community reached out to you, which I found pretty amazing. And now that you're telling me about your friend, I'm recognizing that maybe there's a tie in for you as well.
00:20:07
Speaker 2: If you're on the other side of twenty five and you haven't lost anyone, they're very, very lucky, And unfortunately, truth of the matter is you will not be lucky much longer. That is a part of living is grief. A part of loving somebody is grief. It is inevitable in our lifetimes we will grieve someone. And so I mean, I have an inbox, I have a folder in my email that is just full of messages from people. I responded to one this morning where I just was just this long story of somebody who's lost someone. And I think I didn't expect to learn so much about grief through this process, but it's so interesting. People will say the sweetest things. What's really interesting is the emails I get. They'll remember the smallest details about someone. They'll say, this is from my dad, and he loved this type of beer, and he watched this baseball game on this day all the time, and he always sang this song in the shower and it's so sweet, and you think, I mean, that is really love is people don't remember when you pass on. People are likely not gonna say, like, and John was the vice president of this impressive company. They're gonna say, like, what song you sang in the shower. You're gonna say, like, did you remember their birthday and that time that you brought them flowers then? Than when you were having a hard day. People remember these small things. And I think that's the really human, the human part of grief that I've learned to really appreciate.
00:21:27
Speaker 4: There's just a book that talks about eulogy versus resume virtues.
00:21:33
Speaker 2: Interesting, It's really interesting.
00:21:34
Speaker 4: So it's like while your mountain climbing is what I call it, we always think about what's on our resume and those values, and then we have to stop and think, well, what are our eulogy values? Like what do we want somebody to say at our funeral?
00:21:49
Speaker 2: Right?
00:21:49
Speaker 4: And I think when you're young it's important to consider boths. But as you get older, I think the eulogi values really start to outweigh the resume.
00:21:58
Speaker 2: That's so fascinating. It makes me wonder. I'm like, which which one have I valued more?
00:22:04
Speaker 4: It's okay to value both, yeah, I think, especially at our time of life.
00:22:09
Speaker 2: I think I think you have to balance it all the time and be cognizant of both every day every year. That's exhausting. It gets hard to get something done and do and be kind while you're doing it. It's right, it's do you find that's interesting? You find it hard. I don't necessarily find it hard, but sometimes I do when all the pieces are falling and like, you know, it's hitting the fan. It is an exercise of restraint. One of my best friends, she works in PR, and she taught me the saying. She always says, it's PR not the er, because sometimes like your job or whatever's in front of you feels like life and death and so important and you have to like rein it in and be like, is PR not the er? Like this is not life and death, This is not that important. It is important, but nothing is ever more important than having patience to people being kind to people. For me, those are things that I really really value. So I'm not saying I'm perfect at that. I'm sure I've lost my temper before, but I always deeply regret it when it happens, you know. I mean, it's really important to me to be kind to people.
00:23:05
Speaker 4: What's been the biggest changes or what have been the biggest changes in your life since Miss New York and becoming a content creator aside from not being a receptionist.
00:23:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought the biggest thing that I could do in my life is have an impressive job. And I think I valued having power because I grew up feeling really powerless. And then and I'm like a first gen college student, and so I watched like the power that my mom. I mean, she's had to like climb this corporate ladder. She didn't have a degree, so she's been very, very successful, but she had to work twenty times harder than anyone else. My mom is always really clear, like I don't want this for you, like I want you right. So I went off and I got my undergrad I got my master's in an accelerated program. I got a four point zero. I worked in diplomacy in Paris, like I thought I was going to be a diplomat. And I got to this point or I was like, who am I doing this for? Really? I was like, why don't I even want any of this stuff? Like what does any of this even mean? I It wasn't necessarily existential. It was more so that I was like every as I got each achievement. I got the master's, I got the grade point average, I got the internships. They were fun, it was cool. I got the crown after six years of trying, I was crowned Miss New York. And there's this really extreme high where you're like, oh my god, and then it dies off and you're sitting in bed at night and you're like, Okay, now what and you're like, I've got to stop this. I don't want to keep asking myself now why it's exhausting, Like when do I get to live my life? And so what's the biggest change for me is letting go of needing titles or needing to be successful in other people's eyes, and finally pursuing what do I actually like to do, what makes me happy? And like not belittling small happiness and not belittling small victories.
00:24:52
Speaker 4: You're a very purpose driven and ambitious person, So how do you think about melding those two things.
00:24:58
Speaker 2: So now I'll set goals. And I used to have goals that look like by the time I'm twenty six, what did I want to be? I think I wanted like a I wanted to either be a diplomatic or I want to be, you know, an executive in a company somewhere, Like I wanted to be a really big deal. And now instead I'll be like, one thing I really want in the next couple years is I want to own property, like I want grass. I want to wake up and make coffee, you know, in my own home. Right, these are things that I still have to work hard to get. But like, I'm looking at experiences that I really want for myself instead of titles, because one has so much more weight than the other.
00:25:35
Speaker 4: Did giving up the Miss New York title hurt in anyway?
00:25:39
Speaker 2: No, people, A lot of people told me that I'd be super sad, and that's normal for some people. That's totally normal for me, I think because I was already at this place where I was like, well, holy smokes, I did it. I did all the things that I wanted to do. I realized the dream. Now I just want to be enough for myself, and so giving up the Miss New York titles, like, I'm excited for someone else to to go and do it. The new Girl's great, But for me, I'm really excited to just be myself.
00:26:05
Speaker 4: Tell me about what pageants are like, because I think you are so intellectual and soulful. Not that other beauty pageant contestants aren't. I think some of them are not. How did you connect with the other women there?
00:26:22
Speaker 2: I would say this to anyone, like if they were looking for advice, I always say, like, don't lose your sauce. I think that people become so obsessed with being perfect or emulating an image that I'll watch people talk to you like this, and then I'll say, okay, so do you want to work on your interview or work on whatever, work on something that's toudas pageantry and they'll go okay, and they like turn on this person, and I'm like, who's this? Like who is that? And to their like, world peace. It's so lame. And not everybody agrees with my methodology. I'm sure a lot of people don't. Necessarily doesn't like me as Miss New York. That's fine, that's your prerogative. But I was somebody who refused to let go of that soulful feeling, that sauce that phone I want to have fun. I was like, why do this? You guys? I would say this to rooms people like why are we doing this? If it's not fun? Why ask yourself that? And no one have an answer for me. I was like, all right, so let's bring let's infuse fun into every moment of this and too, everything that we do or else there is no point and we really are just the stereotypical pageant people. And that's something I really reject because I've witnessed, you know, in my time in pageantry. Also just some of the most incredibly intellectual, compassionate advocate women that are advocates, I mean women that are really big, like they're really a big deal in their field. They're lawyers, these are doctors, like these are really impressive people. So you know, it's a great thing to do. If it's kind of like joining a sorority. In a lot of ways, it's a very very competitive authority to get. It's not collaborative, but you are competing to win, so it is competitive. But in the same way, I'm sure olympians can make friends with each other right when they're competing, or athletes make friends of each other along the way. When you're competing, you're competing, but we know when you're not on say eating a meal. Yeah, when you're eating a meal, Oh my god. It's so I'm my closest friends I've made. What did it mean to you to be Miss new York? Miss new York is a super diverse a group. I mean, Venessa Williams was Miss New York and she was the first black Miss America. But that was in the eighties, so we've had a lot of diversity. We're a legacy of diverse women. However, traditionally, up until the last couple of years, black women when they compete have to straighten their hair where weave like you mean have to. It's just because generally that was the way to win. I mean like the fact that I was told at one point, and I've said this before, I was told like, I was like, what if I wore my natural hair this year? And this was years ago. They were like, just win the title and then wear your hair natural, Like once you get it, it doesn't matter, and then you can win. Wear your natural because they hadn't really seen anyone do before. And so we are seeing now more women win with braids and natural hairs and stuff like that. But that'd be so cool. We have yet to have in Miss America that is black when with braids, banto knots or like a fro. But I think that's next and I would love to see it happen. I would too, I think it will. I agree. What do you feel like it's next for you? Because it seems to me like it's a vacation. No, I'm gonna just have fun. I'm gonna have fun. I wanna. I want to connect with people. I really love media. I love what I'm getting to do. I love You're hosting a little bits now and that's been super cool. So I'm really grateful for it because I love talking to people. I love making people laugh. I love this. This is so fun for me. So the fact that I get to do it as for a living, I feel very blessed. That's really beautiful. And you just got engaged. I did just get engaged. Happened. It's beautiful. Yes, thank you. You've been with your now fiance for a long time, eight years. Yeah.
00:29:49
Speaker 4: How do you know, Like when you're so young and you meet someone and you grow up together, how do you know it's your person?
00:29:55
Speaker 2: I don't. That's the myth is that you don't. And that's why I don't think. I don't think that are at this current generation, like nobody can seem to like stay together, right, I mean, I feel like everybody's in this perpetual stay of dating because they expect for like the clouds to depart and there to be a sign in this guy and like this is it. And that is because y'all don't, like, you don't trust yourself to just know, or to take a chance, or to take a risk to love somebody is inherently risky. You might get hurt, you might hurt each other. And I think a lot of people feel that risk and they're like, okay, let me, let me just back on out of hearing it out right, this might not be my person. But what if it is? What if and I'm putting this out there, there is no you know, there is nothing written in the stars. What if love is as beautiful as you just choosing somebody every day. Sometimes I think I get the idea of fate to people like being meant to be together. I think that that's very soulmates. I think, yes, that's very spiritual and beautiful, but it kind of removes a lot of the accountability and work out of reallytions because then it's just like what we were, just meant to be together. So then when it gets hard, it doesn't feel like you're meant to be together anymore. Versus What I found is when I just came at it from the perspective of I don't know of verse homemades, but I do know that I love you, and I do know you're my best friend, and I do know I don't want to be with anybody but you. One thing we talk about all the time is there is a security and knowing that no matter what, I will always love you. No matter what comes, I will always love you. It feels like family. Like think of someone in your family that you love. It doesn't matter what happens, you will always love them. And so there's a sense of security there. And so sure we have days we're frustrated with each other, but I never doubt that this is the person that I'd like to spend my life with.
00:31:46
Speaker 1: Im.
00:31:46
Speaker 2: I do a little rapid fire.
00:31:47
Speaker 4: Okay, if you could give one piece of advice to young women, what would it be.
00:31:54
Speaker 2: You will not be successful in spite of what makes you different or weird. You will be successful because of what it makes you different and weird, So embrace it. I wish someone would have told me that. Maybe they did and I didn't internalize it or not. I think, and I think sometimes be yourself like that just goes right over her head until you actually believe it. It's hard to just be yourself sometimes. I think as you get older, you learn how to do it. Yeah, it's an ambiguous directive. What does that mean? Yeah?
00:32:21
Speaker 4: A tip for overcoming feelings of self doubt.
00:32:25
Speaker 2: Lean into it. You're just gonna die. Like, stop feeling guilty or feeling anxious about the fact that you're doubting yourself. It's not evidence that there is something to doubt. It just means that you're a human baby girl. Lean into it, have a cry, call you somebody and then be like I'm having self doubt and let them smack you across the face and like come back. Your anxiety is not evidence that there's something wrong. It's just evidence that you're human. Beautiful.
00:32:48
Speaker 4: Your favorite follow on tiktoko.
00:32:51
Speaker 2: I love Teffy. Teffy's the best Hei Teffi. She's like, I love her so much. And I was really excited when she followed me back and she knew who I was, but wait, you know followed me that. I was like, god, Catherine Heigel, Oh that was big. Yeah, that's She's just like this is so funny. Sheld like call me that dont thing I did, and followed me and I was like, oh my god.
00:33:12
Speaker 4: So I've been staring at you for the last forty five minutes thinking, oh, you're going.
00:33:16
Speaker 2: To be an actress. Oh thank you? Do you feel that way. I would love to. Oh can you come me here to.
00:33:22
Speaker 4: Show so Shoshana is Terreen's Managerlena my good friend. Everybody in the audience here, come here, thinks that you're going to be an actress.
00:33:33
Speaker 2: We know this is my manager. I'm telling all of them. Yeah, she will be an actress.
00:33:40
Speaker 5: Yes, she'll be an actress.
00:33:41
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:33:42
Speaker 4: Oh.
00:33:42
Speaker 2: This is my Other advice to young women is around yourself with people that are sorry. You know what, you know what, sho Jeanne. I think somebody needs to hear this, because you know what, you're very nice to me. And I know you're like no, but you're nice to me. And I know a lot of young women out there. This is me and you are kind person you are you know, I know a lot of young women out there. You need to hear this, and I don't know how else in this room needs to hear this. Stop hanging out with people that are not nice to you. Correct, listen to me, Listen to me. Yeah, I like that a great. If you're on a date with a guy and he hurts your feelings before you sit here like maybe I'm being sensitive, baby, walk out of the date. You can pay for the food like bye bye. Life is too short. Life is too short to not someend. How people that are not nice to you, like I cannot say this enough, like stop accepting treatment. I mean like, well they're being funny. That's just well, that's just that's just Jane. She's just like that. So she's not she's just rude. Stop. Do not hang out with people that are not nice to you. So like and do not like my manager, she's also my friend. You find a way to manage me and do your job nicely, and you've inspired me a lot because I want to be like that too. That's so nice.
00:34:51
Speaker 6: I nice to meet her where she is and anyone.
00:34:53
Speaker 5: I think it's important to kind of like get inside their heads, know how they're feeling, and know how they want.
00:34:58
Speaker 2: To be spoken to, Like if she's stressed, why am I gonna come at you with stress?
00:35:02
Speaker 5: And then I think I started have to be patient because that's what she needs in that moment.
00:35:06
Speaker 2: You just have to be patient with them.
00:35:08
Speaker 6: And I'm like, you have a busy schedule with all these deliverables, like we need a mental health day.
00:35:11
Speaker 2: We're gonna push this back.
00:35:13
Speaker 5: It doesn't really need to be delivered at this time, there's repressibility, so I just feel you.
00:35:19
Speaker 2: I also like, surround yourself with people who you want to emulate, and you want to be more like I would say that too, Like there are a lot of things about you that I would The moment I met you, I really admired about you and I was like, ooh, I hope that you rub off on you. There are a lot of things about you that I'd like to rub off on me, and I think that's how relationships works, and it rubs off on me too. I hope you make me more organized.
00:35:37
Speaker 4: I don't know.
00:35:39
Speaker 6: I I reached out to Taran because I was inspired by her and I was like, she's funny, Like she was like an oopsie creator. I would say, like she made this TikTok because she'll talk about it. Her mom told her to do it.
00:35:51
Speaker 5: And I reached out her right away because I was like, this is just a woman that I understand and I'd love.
00:35:55
Speaker 2: To work with. So it was organic. Oh, it was totally organic.
00:35:58
Speaker 6: And I like hit her off on Instagram because she was really busy on TikTok.
00:36:02
Speaker 2: I was like, there's a lot of noise there. I'm gonna go to our Instagram. I think I had like eight hundred followers or something. I mean eight hundred and you've reached out.
00:36:11
Speaker 4: What book did you read that changed your life that everybody should read?
00:36:15
Speaker 2: Oh, I feel like this is a very boring answer because everyone's going to say this Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell is such a good book. Nobody said that. Really, I feel like it's a really common book. Okay, shows Oh god, I can't.
00:36:26
Speaker 4: What is the smartest decision you've ever made.
00:36:29
Speaker 2: Moving to New York? I would say, saying yes to you, I was asking, I know, I was like saying even the movies to New York, saying yes to you. The smartest decision you have to help me? Never be shay to pay people. Don't ever don't ever be too proud to pay people to do things that you were not good at, or to help, like right, ask for help, Like, do not be too proud to just spend the money on somebody who was better at it than you. Just do it. What's your smartest decision? Honestly, Oh, it's a good one.
00:36:59
Speaker 6: I would say my smartest decision is when I was like on this my career journey, was that moment.
00:37:05
Speaker 2: Where I went off on my own, Oh yeah, to manage.
00:37:09
Speaker 5: Creators because I worked a lot of publishing companies that were social first, but like some of them didn't have as much of a like a face presence, right, they were like a brand, and I wanted to work with the people that were changing the game. And I, you know, chose Tara, and I chose a few of my other clients, and like, I've been in.
00:37:26
Speaker 2: Brand partnerships for many years and when.
00:37:27
Speaker 6: You would we would do like a partnership and see the comments and it's all like I love this for you, Like this brand makes so much sense for you, Like thanks for keeping an authentic I'm like wow, Like this is the most fulfilling I've ever been in my entire life, just surrounding.
00:37:41
Speaker 5: Myself with people who make work feel less like work. And I'm just like, best decision.
00:37:47
Speaker 4: It was a bet on yourself, all right, everybody pick a question?
00:37:52
Speaker 2: Okay, pick one. Everyone in the here is like, how was this missed? New York? Hey, it's over now. What's the one song that without fail gets you dancing? Nanna Nanna, Nanna, Nanna Usha. I can't help myself, I can't. It is like a demon takes over in my body. I could be at a wake and I would dance on their great if that's when I came on, I don't care. I don't.
00:38:21
Speaker 4: I think that that's why you guys get along because shows is a great dance.
00:38:24
Speaker 2: I should I should knew what he was doing with them. Okay, you know, okay.
00:38:28
Speaker 4: I always say everybody gets the card that they're meant to get.
00:38:32
Speaker 2: And I looked over, so shut his shoulder.
00:38:34
Speaker 4: Nobody has, in however many episodes, has picked this card. And if you all know her the way that we know her, this is the card for her.
00:38:43
Speaker 6: So I'm not gonna have the best answer, but it is, what's the weirdest thing you've ever got in the car?
00:38:48
Speaker 5: I mean my car was like my life, Like I changed in that car. I eight meals by myself. I cried on my nineteenth birthday at a McDonald's because my friends went to a restaurant and didn't want to.
00:38:56
Speaker 6: Go to But I would say, like, maybe not the weirdest thing, but I just love I would like make a CD. If you guys know what CDs are, the word things that.
00:39:04
Speaker 1: Existed, or like, oh come on, and I put it in the car, and.
00:39:07
Speaker 5: I just drive around for hours listening to my favorite songs. I even told Taren. Like last night, I had an uber take me home and I changed the destination four times because I asked them if I.
00:39:17
Speaker 2: Could take over the.
00:39:20
Speaker 6: And I just put on my own songs for thirty seconds and I had a party.
00:39:23
Speaker 2: That's because we're in New York. In LA or Chicago, you can bump in your own car. That's a wrap. I'm pretty smart.
00:39:37
Speaker 4: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good day. To have a good day. I'll see you next week.
00:39:57
Speaker 7: Please ma fee in erpyes from my center at the Senter.
00:40:08
Speaker 2: Me please len me.
00:40:12
Speaker 8: Fee in.
00:40:16
Speaker 7: Yes from my center at the center. Me please len me fee in arpys from my center at the center. Me please len me fee in arpyes from my center at the center.
00:40:50
Speaker 2: Me.
00:40:52
Speaker 8: My heart is al bend. I am well.
00:41:01
Speaker 2: In meason no.
00:41:05
Speaker 9: Home love love love my hearty, I am away.
00:41:17
Speaker 2: In measing nose.
00:41:21
Speaker 8: Home love love love love m m m h.
00:41:56
Speaker 7: Please love me fee in beece from my senta at the center.
00:42:08
Speaker 2: Me please lend me feel in bes from my center at the center.
00:42:22
Speaker 10: Me, please lend me feed Let me feed beece from my Santa sainta sint me.
00:42:38
Speaker 7: Please lend me fie, please lend me feed.
00:42:45
Speaker 2: Be the Santas from the center.
00:42:50
Speaker 8: Me my Harness all bend. I am Amason lody O love love love, my hearty, I.
00:43:13
Speaker 10: Am away Amason lod.
00:43:21
Speaker 8: O love love, love love. Mm hmm mm hmmm
