00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Adele and welcome to Pretty Sure, the podcast where we talk about the things everyone thinks about but nobody says out loud. Each week I'll be sharing my Pretty Sure opinions, unpacking the internet's biggest conversations and figuring out the things I'm not so sure about right alongside you. And if a conversation ever feels a little too heavy, we'll always include support resources in the show notes. Please take care of yourselves, seek professional help if needed or skip the entire episode if it's not for you. Now, let's get into the show. Hey guys, welcome to Pretty Sure. First of all, welcome to another episode.
00:00:34
Speaker 2: Maybe let's start there.
00:00:36
Speaker 1: Welcome to another week of Pretty Sure. Multiple things we've spoken about before we actually like started recording. One of those being the fact that I've become way too comfortable in the studio. The fact that I just like took my shoes off and like walked around with my dogs out is, I think I just need to check myself for a second there.
00:00:51
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I think own the space.
00:00:53
Speaker 1: I think, I love, it's like a second home to us now. I mean, we're 17 episodes in.
00:00:58
Speaker 2: We're getting very comfortable here. Too comfortable?
00:01:01
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe. And we were just saying, not only are we like extremely comfortable, but like part of this space is like me just openly talking about how my nose is leaking because of hay fever. And you're not a Melbournian.
00:01:16
Speaker 2: No.
00:01:17
Speaker 1: And you were just saying like you think that it's something that people grow out of in Melbourne, but I've actually grown into hay fever. I never had hay fever as a kid. Melbourne has like the worst pollen count. What? No, no, it's like a known thing.
00:01:28
Speaker 2: Is it? Is it? No, girl, it's so bad. I'm a new Melburnian and I really hope that this fate is not making its way to me.
00:01:36
Speaker 1: I'm going to give it two years until it starts affecting you.
00:01:39
Speaker 2: I'm going to give myself two years to move away from Melbourne. No, no, we can't lose you.
00:01:44
Speaker 1: No, it's not that bad.
00:01:46
Speaker 2: You'll be fine.
00:01:47
Speaker 1: No, but it's really bad. Like, I never used to struggle with hay fever. And now all of a sudden my nose is leaking at every opportunity. My eyes are leaking at every opportunity. I mean, I don't get the scratchy throat that badly. But at times I'm like, wow.
00:02:02
Speaker 2: I really feel for people who get really bad hay fever.
00:02:06
Speaker 1: Right.
00:02:06
Speaker 2: Because the symptoms on the surface sound so minor. But I think just because they're so persistent, it can become so debilitating.
00:02:13
Speaker 1: You get in bed and you've got like this blocked nose. You're like, wait. Is it the flu or is it hay fever? And you question your sanity.
00:02:19
Speaker 2: Hate that. It's so bad. So let's start.
00:02:23
Speaker 1: The episode off after our brief little yap. And I decided to just like welcome you guys into the yap about what we're discussing because I know that people are going to be nodding in the cars on the way to work listening to this being like, yeah, hay fever is fucking me up the ass.
00:02:35
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
00:02:36
Speaker 1: But I'm pretty sure that we came into this studio and I just said quick bye, hi and bye, because I had to run out the door to go to the IVF clinic to do my shot. Because I found out this morning, first of all, let me just recap the day. Let me give you a bit of backstory. Came in this morning in the same area where we shoot is like the same area where the clinic is, which works for me.
00:02:58
Speaker 2: That's very lucky.
00:02:59
Speaker 1: It's very convenient. I was like, I can make this work because we don't shoot, like this studio is not close to my home, which is fine. I'm happy to make the trek. I literally came in first thing in the morning to get a scan done. And then they were like, the doctor will be in contact with you, doing some meetings, you know, in the cafe downstairs and just yapping away, doing my usual stuff. They gave me a buzz and they're like, right, so we're going to get you in on this Wednesday. The people at home that don't know, we record on a Monday. I'm going to go in on Wednesday for my egg retrieval. But we're going to do it a little bit earlier just because my doctor is amazing. Like she's, shout out to Dr.
00:03:33
Speaker 2: Raelia Liu.
00:03:34
Speaker 1: She is phenomenal. And just with the job that I'm in, We have things pop up last minute that you can say no to. I just prefer to like seize the opportunities as they come. And we are going to have a very, very big weekend. So I was like the earlier we can do the retrieval, the better. So I can have more days just lying low to recover properly before I start work again. So anyways, called me and was like, we're actually going to do it this Wednesday. But to do that, we need to like double dose you today.
00:04:03
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:04:04
Speaker 1: As soon as possible. So then you can take your trigger shot tonight and then you'll have your admission time on Wednesday and then go through that period. So I literally was like, you messaged me and you were like, hey, do you want to catch up before the episode? I'm like, Yes, but I can't. Grab me another matcha if you can. Love you lots.
00:04:20
Speaker 2: I'm running out the door.
00:04:21
Speaker 1: I'll see you in 15 minutes. And I ran, sprinted over, got the shot, went down to the nurses. The nurse, lovely Lucy, my nurse, I'm obsessed with her. She's so fucking kind. Shot me in the tummy, came back. We did a quick powwow and now we're here.
00:04:35
Speaker 2: Quick shot in the tummy and not the kind that is. Yeah, look. Yeah. Not the funnest kind. Not the funnest kind. No, unfortunately.
00:04:45
Speaker 1: It doesn't actually, I don't know if it's a mental thing, but I find that shots hurt more when you do them to yourself.
00:04:52
Speaker 2: Really? Yes.
00:04:53
Speaker 1: Like getting blood drawn hurts more than doing these shots.
00:04:57
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:04:57
Speaker 1: Because it's like, it's going to sound really gross, but you've like pinched your tummy fat.
00:05:01
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:05:01
Speaker 1: And it's done on a superficial level. Whereas like when you get blood drawn, it's like into the vein. Yeah, totally. Sorry if you've got needle phobia at home and you're like listening to this. But yeah, it doesn't actually hurt that much. It's just like... An uncomfortable feeling when you're doing it to yourself because you know when it goes in and what you're pushing in and it's like the mental part of it.
00:05:23
Speaker 2: 100%. That makes so much sense.
00:05:25
Speaker 1: Yeah. And even when you're like pinching your own tummy and like injecting yourself, like if you're doing it home by yourself, it actually can be a little bit fiddly rather than if you have someone's help. Like I've had someone's help two nights this week. And they've been able to like pinch my tummy and then I've been able to do the injection. It just means that you've got like a free hand to be able to hold the needle into yourself. It's very weird. Very weird experience. I feel like a qualified nurse.
00:05:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally.
00:05:50
Speaker 1: I'm totally not.
00:05:50
Speaker 2: It just seems like such an intense thing to have to do to yourself, which is really strange because I'm like, obviously it's a tiny needle. It's totally safe. It's totally fine. You're obviously like kind of trained through the process of how to do it right and safely and everything like that. But I can imagine I would much rather you shoot me in the tummy than have to do it to myself.
00:06:10
Speaker 1: That's the thing.
00:06:10
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:06:11
Speaker 1: I don't know why I decided when I had help this week to not get them to.
00:06:16
Speaker 2: I was thinking that.
00:06:16
Speaker 1: It's more, I think it's more of a control thing because I've been doing it for so long. I know what to do. They wouldn't have, wouldn't have done it before. And I would be scared that they would be scared to inject. Does that make sense?
00:06:28
Speaker 2: Totally. Because now you're the pro. You're the one with all the experience. Yeah. So does double dosing early mean that you're going to have any kind of extra side effects?
00:06:36
Speaker 1: Nah. Nah. It basically means that it's going to like kickstart my follicles to grow a little bit more because when I did my scan today, they're not quite ready.
00:06:44
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:06:45
Speaker 1: My little follicles. Did you know eggs are microscopic? Did we talk about this in our last episode?
00:06:49
Speaker 2: No.
00:06:49
Speaker 1: I don't know if I told you this. I found this out the last cycle I did. Our eggs are actually microscopic.
00:06:57
Speaker 2: As in, as opposed to what? So the eggs grow in our follicles. With the naked eye?
00:07:01
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Our eggs grow in our follicles and how they do this medication is they like inject you with hormone so your follicles and your eggs can grow. The egg is in the, I'm, I'm, I just want to say I'm not a doctor.
00:07:12
Speaker 2: Okay. Let's put that at the top.
00:07:14
Speaker 1: Let's just put that at the very top. I'm not a doctor.
00:07:16
Speaker 2: This is not medical advice. This is not medical advice.
00:07:18
Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor. I'm just repeating what the nurse said to me.
00:07:21
Speaker 2: Totally.
00:07:21
Speaker 1: But I may have heard it wrong.
00:07:23
Speaker 2: Don't shoot the messenger. Don't shoot the messenger. Don't shoot Adele.
00:07:26
Speaker 1: So what I understand is the follicle, the egg is inside the follicle. It's microscopic. They basically do like an internal ultrasound, which is always very unusual. And they look at the follicles and they measure the size of the follicle. And then they want the follicle to be a certain size, which means that the egg is ready to retrieve.
00:07:43
Speaker 2: Right.
00:07:44
Speaker 1: And all of my follicles were sitting sort of around the 11 mark. And I think they need to be.
00:07:48
Speaker 2: A little bit bigger.
00:07:50
Speaker 1: When the follicles get to a certain size, they're ready to retrieve. So then you do a trigger shot to ovulate and then they retrieve the eggs for you in a day procedure. Then they put those follicles and the eggs, they put the eggs in a petri dish, a beautiful lab dish. scientists, a lab scientist or just a scientist? I'm going to say just a scientist.
00:08:09
Speaker 2: I like lab scientists.
00:08:10
Speaker 1: Lab scientists makes them sound extra fancy, which they are. The lab scientist goes with your Petri dish straight into the lab, puts them right on. Like I walk in, I walk into my day studio. I lie myself on the bed before they knock me the fuck out. And I get introduced to the scientist that's going to be looking at my little babies.
00:08:31
Speaker 2: That is?
00:08:31
Speaker 1: They're very cool. The last one was called Anna. She had very pretty eyes.
00:08:34
Speaker 2: We love Anna.
00:08:35
Speaker 1: We love Anna.
00:08:36
Speaker 2: Anna was very, very cute.
00:08:37
Speaker 1: But Anna took my petri dish upstairs whilst I was knocked the fuck out, okay? And she looked at my little eggies and she was able to say, this one's good, this one's bad. We'll get rid of this bad one.
00:08:48
Speaker 2: What?
00:08:48
Speaker 1: This one's not the correct size. Off it goes. And they only, like, keep the best eggs.
00:08:53
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
00:08:54
Speaker 1: To put in the freezer. So last time I had 19 that came out and 14 of them were viable to sit in the freezer. So they only put the best ones in the freezer.
00:09:01
Speaker 2: Wow. So they can tell straight away.
00:09:03
Speaker 1: They can tell straight away, but under the microscope.
00:09:05
Speaker 2: That's, I'm sorry, technology is amazing.
00:09:07
Speaker 1: It's fucking wild.
00:09:08
Speaker 2: Women's health, we have a long way to go, obviously.
00:09:10
Speaker 1: Such a long way to go.
00:09:11
Speaker 2: You often talk about.
00:09:11
Speaker 1: And I found that today as well, I'm classified as a medical patient because I've got polycystic and endometriosis. So my nurse was just like, oh, because you're listed as a medical patient, which I didn't know that I was. My doctor's listed me as a medical patient because I've got endo and polycystic ovary syndrome. I'm pretty sure it's just the endometriosis that you can get listed as a medical patient. But the medication that I took is traditionally 200 plus, that one shot, 200 plus dollars just for that one shot. Whereas I picked it up for 25 bucks. Wow.
00:09:43
Speaker 2: No way. Yeah. What the hell? So it's subsidised?
00:09:47
Speaker 1: Because it's subsidised because I'm a medical patient.
00:09:48
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:09:49
Speaker 1: But women that choose to do this electively because it's not for medical reasons.
00:09:54
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:09:54
Speaker 1: They have to pay 200 plus dollars i can't remember what exactly it is if she said 260 280 whatever the Pfizer said but 200 bucks one fucking shot and so how many shots would people be getting well i did a double dose today for the pen you wind it all the way up to that just two two shots Isn't that fucking wild?
00:10:14
Speaker 2: That is crazy.
00:10:16
Speaker 1: So I think all my medication all up just cost me under $ 200 and that one shot was $ 200. Anyway, so that was my pretty shore. It's been a big morning but also a nothing morning at the same time. What have I really done? What have I really done? Unsure.
00:10:30
Speaker 2: You've had a shot in the belly.
00:10:31
Speaker 1: I've had a shot in the belly.
00:10:32
Speaker 2: You've done your meetings.
00:10:33
Speaker 1: I've done my meetings.
00:10:34
Speaker 2: You've got your matcha.
00:10:34
Speaker 1: And I've had an internal ultrasound and Gracie Grace brought me matcha.
00:10:39
Speaker 2: And it's delightful.
00:10:40
Speaker 1: Let's take a little sip actually. Just ASMR.
00:10:43
Speaker 2: Ready? Oh, yeah, lovely.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: All right, let's move on to as of late because I really want to speak about this today. We might have some sceptics that might not like this as of late. If my sister's listening to this episode, she's going to roll her eyes. I can actually just hear her eyes rolling into the back of her head as we speak. But I saw my light healer on the weekend.
00:11:06
Speaker 2: Your light healer?
00:11:07
Speaker 1: My light healer. Now, let me explain what a light healer is.
00:11:10
Speaker 2: Please do.
00:11:12
Speaker 1: I never really fully believed psychics. Like I never really understood them. I always think I was a sceptic. I would say I was a sceptic because how often do any of them speak absolute fucking rubbish? How many of them are actually psychics? You will never know, right? But when I came back from Europe last year and my life went to shit, one of my friends, Jade– Shout out to her. She was like, you have to see this light healer. Your life will change. You'll have to see it. See her, sorry. The only reason why I did see her is because she's also Greek Orthodox, which is quite contradicting what I'm about to say, because she has this beautiful story about how she became a light healer. She wasn't always a light healer, but she does... weave in a lot of elements of our religion into like, I would say her psychic abilities, but I think it goes, I think it surpasses being a psychic. I think she's able to see the other side, which is crazy. When I first saw her quite literally, I mean, what, what date is it now when we're recording? I saw her one year and one month ago when I came back. Everything that she said would come true has come true.
00:12:36
Speaker 2: I have so many questions. Yeah. Okay. So a light healer is a psychic. Is there a difference between light healer and psychic?
00:12:43
Speaker 1: I don't really know. I don't really know if she wants to call herself a psychic. So I'm trying to be like respectful. She calls herself a light healer.
00:12:50
Speaker 2: She's rebranded to light healer. She's rebranded.
00:12:52
Speaker 1: I love that. She's rebranded to light healer. But yeah, I think it surpasses being a psychic. Like She can see things that are going to happen and she can also speak to the spirits.
00:13:05
Speaker 2: What the hell? So have her predictions and things that she told you. Everything she said has come true. Part one thing. Being so specific that you are now a reformed skeptic. You're on board.
00:13:17
Speaker 1: Like to the point where she pulled out names and every name she pulls out, she goes, write this name down, write this name down, write this name down. And she said a particular name and I won't say it, but she said a particular name and she said like this particular person will cross your path and will show you the way and will ground you, like will intrinsically ground you.
00:13:37
Speaker 2: And that's happened.
00:13:38
Speaker 1: And someone came across my path a week later. I didn't realise that was the name that she brought forward because English and Greek names are very different. Like my Greek name is Adamantia, which means diamond and I love that. My mother didn't want to give me a life on the pole, so she called me Adele.
00:13:57
Speaker 2: You know.
00:13:59
Speaker 1: I reckon I could have been great on the pole.
00:14:01
Speaker 2: God, you would have rocked it.
00:14:02
Speaker 1: I reckon. With my flexibility, I could have made some cash.
00:14:06
Speaker 2: God, what a missed opportunity.
00:14:08
Speaker 1: Missed opportunity. I mean, life's not that short. It could still happen.
00:14:12
Speaker 2: What could it be?
00:14:13
Speaker 1: But that person came across my lap and I was like, oh, this is the person she was talking about. But it wasn't. The same name came across my lap a month later and– has been the person that's grounded me.
00:14:25
Speaker 2: Whoa.
00:14:26
Speaker 1: She said that person will ground you, that person will challenge you, and it's exactly what's happened. That's not the only thing that she said to me. She said, you're going to go, you know, I see this particular country for you. Without her knowing what I had already booked in, when I went into my first meeting with her, I didn't tell her anything, nothing. And when I say nothing, I mean there were things that she said that I have never put online before, that there's no way you could have guessed. And she knew what was going to happen. And what I was doing, what I was currently, it was fucking insane. And I don't want to tell everybody because it's personal. But names of people that she dropped have all come across my lap. They've all said, they've all done what she said they're going to do. Just crazy, crazy shit.
00:15:11
Speaker 2: And what about with the spirits element? You said she can talk to the other side. How has that presented itself?
00:15:18
Speaker 1: Well, she did say, and this sounds like a bit voodoo, but I do truly believe it. My grandfather who has passed away was a man of the church. And when I did come home last year from Europe, she literally said that your like grandfather has brought the truth forward for you because intrinsically he knows how important marriage is under the roof of the Greek Orthodox church. We have these things called the Stefana, which are like these crowns that are linked together by a ribbon. Sometimes it's ribbon and it, it, it, quite literally links man to woman, woman to man. And you cross it over and you have your, we call them our Gulbada, which is our best man, but it goes further than a best man or a best woman. It's sort of they're the initially or traditionally the person that will be the godmother or good father for your children.
00:16:08
Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
00:16:09
Speaker 1: So they cross these stefana, these crowns, and they link husband to wife, wife to husband. And she said, because he is a man of the church, He knows how important it is to you and to him and to the family to get married underneath the crowns. And he brought the truth forward before anything could happen underneath those crowns. And like that can be quite sceptic for some people, but like that in itself, I fully believe it because number one, I did not tell her how many grandparents I had. Number two, at the time that she gave this reading. I hadn't put any of my grandparents online. So how does she know that first of all, my grandfather is the only grandfather that's passed? She also listed his name.
00:16:52
Speaker 2: What the hell?
00:16:53
Speaker 1: No, no. It was a creepy, like, like creepy in the best way possible. And I didn't tell her anything when I first met her. So everything that she said, including my career, she said that, you know, she said certain things were going to happen in my career over the next 12 months. And they've all come true.
00:17:07
Speaker 2: This is actually crazy. Yeah. This is so crazy because I actually really like the idea of, like I remember getting my cards read once by like some woo-woo family friend. I love that. Just like this random lady who was like, I'll read your cards. And I was like, okay. And then I said to her, oh, I don't know if I fully believe in like the magic of this kind of thing of like psychic abilities. And it was so cool because her response was she wasn't offended at all. And I was just like being transparent with her, just being like, I don't know if this is, if there's, do you just take this with a grain of salt? Like let's be for real. And her response was. Yeah, you don't have to believe it. But if anything, it's a really good opportunity for reflection. And I was like, that's so true. Because on the one hand, this woman could totally, your light healer lady.
00:17:56
Speaker 1: She could be fobbing me.
00:17:57
Speaker 2: She could be fobbing or she could be an actual magical human being.
00:18:02
Speaker 1: No, I know.
00:18:02
Speaker 2: But in a way, both are just as valuable. Because maybe there's an element of like, what if... you know, the things that she's saying about your career, she's then planting seeds in you that you then take and manifest. I don't know.
00:18:16
Speaker 1: It could be elements of manifestation, but like, I can't say it on the potty. You know what I'm doing from a personal level. But she said, I see this particular thing that's happening in your career. It's going to happen. It's happening. I'm not sure that the line is blurred. She goes, are you doing blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yes.
00:18:34
Speaker 2: The specifics are pretty crazy.
00:18:36
Speaker 1: Like she could have said anything, but she said that specific project that's going to come out next year. But how does she know that?
00:18:43
Speaker 2: Do you go in asking her questions or do you just go in and you're basically like, tell me what I need to hear?
00:18:49
Speaker 1: She just starts with the reading and she'll tell me. Things will just pop out at her. For instance, she gave me a letter. She goes a name starting with blah, blah, blah, a particular letter. really important to you. They're currently having tummy issues. I'm having something wrong with my tummy at the moment. Or she said, is this particular person struggling with their sleep? They're really struggling with their sleep. They're overthinking. They're in your world. You're not actually going to be able to calm them down, but just be there for them. Like she, random bits of information will come towards her. She gave me a couple of names and she's like, this name has spat out at me. Does that mean anything to you? They really like you. They think you're a straight shooter. Like they're happy that you've like entered their vicinity or their circle of life. And little things like that are just, I think that if anything, she just brings a lot of validation and comfort and hope. I think sometimes when we live in such a world that is like constantly driven by existential crisis modes that are happening, 24-7, I don't even know if that sentence just made sense, but... We're driven towards constant negativity. It's nice to have someone go, this is really positive. Keep your eye out for this name. This name is something important to you. This is what I'm seeing in your career. And then she's like, oh, you're working on this at the moment or you're going to be working on this. I see this. I see this. I see this. And then she'll like whip out some names. She'll do card readings as well. And did a lovely, lovely card reading with me. And that was really nice. That also like, that also validates where you are in your current space and what's to come, I think. And then she does like a little light healing session at the end. It's almost like I would say it's a prayer, but it goes further than a prayer. It's sort of visualization, sorry.
00:20:37
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:20:38
Speaker 1: And like a version of meditation that just like you do some breath work with her and It's really nice.
00:20:43
Speaker 2: It sounds beautiful.
00:20:44
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:20:44
Speaker 2: I want to try this. It's really beautiful. I know you're gatekeeping her, which I understand.
00:20:48
Speaker 1: The only reason I'm gatekeeping her is because I don't want her to book out, guys.
00:20:52
Speaker 2: She's mine, okay?
00:20:53
Speaker 1: She's already really fucking busy as it is.
00:20:56
Speaker 2: This is the.
00:20:57
Speaker 1: Second time I've seen her. I mean, I'm really busy too, so I'm at fault for not seeing her sooner. But my sister's reaction is like, Adele, shut the fuck up. She's like, Adele, shut the fuck up. That's not true. Like she's just like she could have just done a research. I'm like you can't research these things. I don't think that there were elements of what she said that you could have researched.
00:21:17
Speaker 2: It's unresearchable.
00:21:20
Speaker 1: It's not on the internet. Anyways, maybe if we're lucky she'll come onto the podcast.
00:21:24
Speaker 2: That would be amazing.
00:21:25
Speaker 1: And do a live reading.
00:21:26
Speaker 2: Can she do me?
00:21:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure.
00:21:28
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
00:21:30
Speaker 1: But you have to like believe.
00:21:31
Speaker 2: I do. Aura, you are sceptic. No, I totally do. I think as soon as she enters the room, I will feel her aura.
00:21:41
Speaker 1: She's got such a beautiful aura.
00:21:43
Speaker 2: I bet she does. People like this always do.
00:21:46
Speaker 1: It's really, really lovely to be around. Okay, maybe I'll share the name a little bit later on in another episode when she's here.
00:21:52
Speaker 2: If we're lucky.
00:21:53
Speaker 1: If we're lucky. And I have my next 12 months appointments booked in. All right, let's move on to my two cents. What do you have for me this week, Gracie?
00:22:02
Speaker 2: I've got a big question for you. So I read an article and the big question, does it make you a bad friend to be envious of your friends?
00:22:12
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:22:13
Speaker 2: That's your answer.
00:22:15
Speaker 1: Yep.
00:22:16
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I want to unpack it because this article goes on to explain that there's actually a common misconception between the idea that envy and jealousy are the same thing. Whereas these two words actually have quite different meanings. Envy means wanting what someone else has and feeling inferior or resentful. Okay. So that's what we're talking about in this friend-vy question. Mm-hmm. jealousy is the fear of losing something you already have to another person.
00:22:43
Speaker 1: That makes a lot of sense.
00:22:45
Speaker 2: Once it was laid out like this, I was like, I totally clocked it immediately.
00:22:49
Speaker 1: I've never broken those two down.
00:22:51
Speaker 2: No, neither. Because I think that there is a common misconception that they're the same thing, that they're a synonym, but they're actually very different. So what it goes on to explain is that people usually feel more envy when they're closer in age and status to the person they're comparing themselves to. So envy is actually very common in friendships because you're usually, you know, in a similar life stage. This person's in your life. They're very close to you. There are elements where you can kind of see yourself very clearly in them or in their lives or in their situations. I wanted to ask... Whether you have experienced this on either side, have you felt envious of another person? Have you had friends who have felt envious of you and express that in any kinds of way? I want to start there.
00:23:35
Speaker 1: Okay. I, this is really interesting. I've, I don't think that first of all, jealousy in Greek is called zilia. And I will always say zilia will be the death of people. Zilia, it's not envy and jealousy or jealousy as a whole. It's not a good trait to have.
00:23:53
Speaker 2: It's an ugly emotion.
00:23:54
Speaker 1: It's an ugly, ugly, ugly trait to have. But it is an emotion that does come up. I don't want to say that I've experienced jealousy or envy. I get quite frustrated when I say, for instance, like this person's not a good person. I intrinsically in my gut know that. And then when I share that information and it's not believed, it comes across as if I am jealous of that person and it's not the case. It's more that I am protective of the ones that are close to me because I fucking trust my gut I'm sorry I just do and people have to make their own mistakes and they have to learn in their own way which is like what I have started to realize I've just got to let it run its course because karma will lay the seeds it will balance the scales it'll balance the scales and karma will intrinsically do what it does best okay so I just sometimes have to shut up step back let it happen in front of me and just let it play out I wouldn't say I've experienced jealousy or envy, but I would say I have looked towards friends and family who have maybe things like a family. and like a really solid relationship and they're pregnant or having kids and it's something that I do want for my future I most definitely don't want it now and I know that and I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better I don't look at that as envious though I look at it as like oh I really want it but it's such a beautiful thing that they have is that still envy.
00:25:31
Speaker 2: So I think that's kind of what it goes on to unpack this article that I read And I think that your response is actually embodying exactly what this article is recommending that people do. Okay.
00:25:44
Speaker 1: Well, that's nice.
00:25:45
Speaker 2: I think it is really nice. No, Adele. And I think it's a sign of maturity and probably like inner confidence as well, because I think that jealousy often comes from a place of insecurity.
00:25:56
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:25:57
Speaker 2: Whereas envy, I think, has an element where it can actually be a really positive and motivating factor. That's kind of what I've taken from this.
00:26:05
Speaker 1: It's really interesting. I was talking about this with a friend on the weekend, actually, about how sometimes we look at relationships that, you know, you might have with someone and Let's say that this person has lost a parent. Okay. And it's way more common than we think. Whether they don't have a relationship with a parent or the parent has passed or whatever the situation is, very unfortunate. You look at other friends that have great relationships with their parents or they still have their parents around. There is envy there for wanting that beautiful something rather that you can see unfold and but knowing and understanding fully that's never possible for you. And like that in itself is quite, it punches between the ribs because you're like, oh, I want it, but I know for a fact I can't have it. Like it's physically not possible. The balance between the two of like going between looking at something that's quite beautiful, but then the hurt of like knowing that you can never have something like that is quite, it's quite a big feeling to juggle.
00:27:11
Speaker 2: It's a very vulnerable place to be, I think, in a friendship or in any kind of relationship when you're in that situation. I also think it doesn't mean that feeling that envy and longing for that situation or that relationship that someone else has that you have to come to terms with the fact of knowing is not possible for you. It doesn't mean that you would want to take that situation away from someone else. So I think that envy actually can have almost like a beautiful, vulnerable element that maybe isn't celebrated enough. But this list about how to handle it, I want to get your thoughts on this because I think this is maybe part of the key to being able to like access the vulnerable, powerful side of envy, maybe. Yeah. It says number one is name it, don't shame it. So acknowledging that feeling might prevent it from becoming destructive.
00:28:04
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that.
00:28:05
Speaker 2: I like it too, because imagine if you had a friendship where you felt kind of, I guess, trustful enough to be able to say to someone, oh, I really feel a pang when I look at what you've done or what you have done. that for whatever reason isn't part of my life. And I love it for you so much. But being able to share that with someone else feels like such a scary thing to do. But maybe that is, maybe that would be a positive thing to do in some situations. I'm not sure.
00:28:31
Speaker 1: It's really interesting because do you know how common it is for like adults, fully grown adults, including myself, very common. I have been working on this with my therapist for years on not being able to name your own emotions. So like when it comes to understanding jealousy and what that looks like and feels like and what it is, a lot of adults actually can't name jealousy. They go, I'm upset. I'm sad. I'm angry. You're jealous.
00:28:59
Speaker 2: That makes a lot of sense.
00:29:01
Speaker 1: So then you act out because you can't name and shame it.
00:29:06
Speaker 2: Because you have internalised that shame. You're like, I know that what I'm feeling doesn't sit right and so I feel ashamed about it so I can't verbalise it.
00:29:13
Speaker 1: They don't even clock that aspect of it. They go, pang, feeling, I'm angry because this person is hanging out with this person who doesn't know that I chose them over me. I'm angry. They'll cry about it. I'm sad because they chose them over me. You're jealous.
00:29:29
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:29:29
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:29:30
Speaker 2: And the unawareness is what makes it destructive.
00:29:33
Speaker 1: It's actually very hard to be aware of your own emotions, especially in the moment. I still sometimes can't do it in the moment. Like I have to let it come out of my body almost, like release it. And then a day or two later upon reflection, I'm like, huh, that's what I was feeling.
00:29:49
Speaker 2: The penny drops. Oh. Yeah. A little bit of distance is always good.
00:29:54
Speaker 1: That makes a lot of sense.
00:29:56
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:29:57
Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm yapping. I'm yapping too much.
00:29:58
Speaker 2: No, I love it.
00:29:59
Speaker 1: What's the next little part?
00:29:59
Speaker 2: Number two is openness. Admitting to your friends you are proud and envy them, which I feel like goes hand in hand with the last point. Transform it. So transform envy into appreciation and connection rather than resentment.
00:30:12
Speaker 1: I think that's beautiful.
00:30:13
Speaker 2: I love that. I think that's so good. The last point is allow it to motivate. It can increase effort and performance when goals are reasonable. So like you said, some things that other people have might just be physically impossible for you. And that's a hard thing to admit and to reconcile. But some things, if you're actually envious of someone because you admire something that they've done or achieved or somewhere they went or the kind of people that they're around... that can actually be a really positive, motivating force.
00:30:42
Speaker 1: We had this in our family recently, and I'm going to out everybody. And I think it's good to be outed. I'm just going to out everyone in my family. I don't think it's a bad thing. And I don't think, first of all, before I say this story, there was ever any ill intent. There's also no jealousy attached to it. But me and one of my other cousins were speaking about my family has done this very, very beautiful thing where I don't know if you know this, but when you have a baby, your council will get all the mothers that have just recently had babies and they'll make like a little mother's group within your council.
00:31:12
Speaker 2: I did not know that.
00:31:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very fucking cute. That's adorable.
00:31:15
Speaker 2: It's very fucking cute.
00:31:16
Speaker 1: Sometimes, a lot of the times, you might not get along with the mothers in your mother's group.
00:31:20
Speaker 2: So true.
00:31:21
Speaker 1: Or some of them might be very, very different to you or whatever it is, but it's more so mothers can find support in themselves. Now, it happened that like in my family... all of the cousins and stuff would go to these mothers groups and they wouldn't necessarily have the bond that they wanted to have with other mothers. So we've got a very, very big family. All of my cousins that have had babies, they've created their own little mothers group.
00:31:44
Speaker 2: Very cute.
00:31:45
Speaker 1: So it means that like, however often they catch up, all the kids get together, the kids get to play. They've also created this gorgeous friendship. like cousinly friendship, because I would say that we're probably more friends than we are with our cousins' family, if that makes sense. We're more friends than family. Let me re-say that. One of my other cousins spoke to me and was like, I actually am quite offended. And I'm like, oh, why? And she said, well, just because our cousins are a little bit older than us, so they've hit these like traditional markers of like having kids. We're not now not invited to see the nieces and nephews. We're not now invited to be part or partake in this group that we would had we not had had kids, had have kids. What? Had have? Have had. Have had kids. I was like, my brain is bothering.
00:32:36
Speaker 2: That turns the charm. Have had.
00:32:37
Speaker 1: Have had kids. Prior to everybody having kids, we would have all hung out together and we did. Yeah. But now that the mothers group exists, we don't hang out together because I'm not a mother. She's not a mother. There's a couple of others. in the family that aren't mothers because we just, our timelines haven't gotten there yet. Or she was saying, you know, it's not really all that fair because what if some of us can't be mothers?
00:33:01
Speaker 2: Wow. So they kind of feel left out. They felt like they had a strong friendship and the existence of this motherhood group that they're not a part.
00:33:08
Speaker 1: Of has deteriorated. Well, not, not, yes, yes, yes, deteriorated, but it's more looking at it from a place of And I'm going to say this because when my cousin spoke to me about this, I was like 100% in agreeance with it. I was just like, I visibly see that and it is something that I eventually want. Not at the moment, but I do eventually want it. If I can't have it in the future, am I then just not allowed into that group? Or can it be an open group so then I can involve myself as a motherly figure, as an auntie, and do what I can to offer support to these children that I love and adore? Why does it always only have to be the mothers that are invited into this group? It's kind of the same situation as like you'll have your kid's birthday, you'll have your kid's christening, you'll have your kid's yada, yada, yada. These are all the milestones. But like when it comes to your birthday or a big achievement in your life, it's not seen as the same capacity because you don't have a child. It's like this parallel life that people live or they feel like they can't. resonate with you no longer because you don't have a family and they do, which is not the case.
00:34:19
Speaker 2: Which is so strange because I love the idea. Like if I was in a mother's group, I would 100% love to have like, and I had a brand new baby, I would love to have like my friends and like, you know, my best friends who would basically be like aunties to my baby there, even if they were childless. So I guess it does seem very strange that being a part of this group is contingent on being a mother.
00:34:47
Speaker 1: I will say to back the mother's group, I will say, because there are a lot of us where did the invitation stop?
00:34:55
Speaker 2: Totally.
00:34:56
Speaker 1: So there does come a point where it's like you're facilitating how many people at your house, how many kids at your house, where do we actually stop the invitations? But in turn, because we're not invited into this circle, we're also not invited to these kids' birthdays.
00:35:10
Speaker 2: It has a bit of a flow-on effect.
00:35:12
Speaker 1: It has a flow-on effect because we're not seeing them as often. And, you know, it does fall on us too. Like we need to make the effort to go and see everyone. But if there's this monthly catch-up that's happening– That we can be involved with or we can be invited to when it's happening. We might, you know, like I want to attend all the birthdays. Like I fucking love these kids. It's just an interesting conversation. It's very interesting. And from that perspective, I don't think it's jealousy or envy. I think it's like once again, it's an appreciation of looking at something thinking it's beautiful. It might not be something that I will be able to have or maybe it is something I'll be able to have but it's not yet.
00:35:49
Speaker 2: Right.
00:35:50
Speaker 1: But how can I show support without showing jealousy?
00:35:54
Speaker 2: Yeah. And how can you be a part of it and, like, show up for your friends?
00:35:58
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:35:59
Speaker 2: How can you, yeah, how can you be a.
00:36:01
Speaker 1: Part of it without actually physically carrying a baby?
00:36:04
Speaker 2: And also for the mothers group, I totally get if you're a new mother, of course you want to talk to other new mums because you're all going through the same experience. I will say. But does it have to be exclusive?
00:36:13
Speaker 1: I will say, though. I know. I don't think it has to be exclusive.
00:36:16
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:36:17
Speaker 1: I will say that a common thread, what new mums talk about is the fact that they had no fucking information.
00:36:23
Speaker 2: Totally.
00:36:24
Speaker 1: So if you then like no information about anything, about teething, about what diarrhea meant in the nappy, about what, you know, what fucking, I don't know, a shit, a burp, whatever it is, right? Growing pains, sleeping patterns. Imagine if you opened up that mother's circle to mothers to be in the future and And awareness and conversation was starting to build around information that we didn't even know existed.
00:36:49
Speaker 2: Could not agree more.
00:36:50
Speaker 1: Like I've only just learned a couple years ago about mastitis. I didn't know it was a thing.
00:36:55
Speaker 2: I'm going to be so real with you right now.
00:36:56
Speaker 1: Do you know what mastitis is?
00:36:57
Speaker 2: I've never heard of that in my life.
00:36:59
Speaker 1: It's like, once again, I'm not a doctor, okay? But it's basically like when you breastfeed. At this point, you're my doctor. I'm Grace's doctor, actually. When your breast gets blocked from breastfeeding, like the duct gets blocked and you basically get mastitis, like an infection.
00:37:16
Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
00:37:17
Speaker 1: And it's quite painful. And you can get it when you wean your baby off breastfeeding or if you don't pump in between feeds. I didn't know it was a thing.
00:37:26
Speaker 2: I feel like I know nothing about breastfeeding.
00:37:28
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. Imagine if we opened up this circle to women who maybe want to be mothers in the future or just like want to hang around mums and hang around non-mums too. Like you can live this parallel life about going to a mother's group and also like going to the pub with your friends.
00:37:42
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:37:43
Speaker 1: And just like learning and being more open.
00:37:45
Speaker 2: And older mums too. This is why we need intergenerational like friendships and relationships between women. It's so important.
00:37:52
Speaker 1: It's so important.
00:37:53
Speaker 2: We have so much to learn.
00:37:54
Speaker 1: We have so much to learn. We have yapped and yapped and yapped. We're doing well at the yapping today. It's really, it's going to.
00:37:59
Speaker 2: Be a juicy end.
00:38:00
Speaker 1: We're really going to roll, aren't we? All righty. Shall we move into our surely nots because I'm really excited about this one.
00:38:07
Speaker 2: The Daily Oz reported that the new ethical fashion report has been released. This is a big fashion report that happens basically ranking Australia's fashion brands where they stand on their website. Ethical metrics. Right.
00:38:21
Speaker 1: Love that.
00:38:22
Speaker 2: Mainly across like environmental risks and human rights in each company's supply chain. Okay. Okay. So the report scores brands out of 100 based on their ethical commitment. So obviously a score close to 100 is very good. Yep. A score of 1. Very, very bad. You're looking pretty shady. You're looking pretty shit.
00:38:41
Speaker 1: You're looking pretty shady.
00:38:43
Speaker 2: So... Just for a bit of context around why this report is really important and why it's such a huge public conversation when it comes out. For those of you who don't know, the fashion industry accounts for about 10% of global emissions. That is huge.
00:38:57
Speaker 1: That's massive.
00:38:58
Speaker 2: It's so huge. It's so significant. The report found that there is... have been positive shifts towards using sustainable fibres by a lot of brands, but overproduction remains a key issue, which is so interesting because it's like, even if people are like, even if brands and labels are using recycled materials and natural fibres, just like the fact that we're making so much stuff is still contributing to like that 10% of emissions. So it's a good thing to keep in mind. 88% of companies could not prove that they pay workers a living wage. What do you mean?
00:39:37
Speaker 1: I have no words.
00:39:38
Speaker 2: I know.
00:39:39
Speaker 1: Okay.
00:39:40
Speaker 2: So that's just, I don't really know how to elaborate on that apart from the fact that that is so crazy.
00:39:46
Speaker 1: That's fucking wild.
00:39:47
Speaker 2: Something to keep in mind is that a lot of this reporting, from what I can gather, is based off of basically engaging these companies, asking for them to share data. And if it's not publicly available and if they don't share their data in time.
00:40:01
Speaker 1: They get ranked lower.
00:40:02
Speaker 2: They get ranked lower.
00:40:03
Speaker 1: Okay.
00:40:03
Speaker 2: So there's, you know, there's a bit of an accessibility. There's problems with the reports. There's a little bit of, yeah, there's a few problems. But, like, by and all, people definitely refer to it as, like, a reliable source of information. So I'm just going to give you some examples just so you can paint a bit of a mental picture about what Australian brands are doing. So brands who have a score of 70, which is pretty good, include Patagonia, Kathmandu, Rip Curl. Okay, shout out to Rip Curl.
00:40:33
Speaker 1: Shout out Rip Curl.
00:40:34
Speaker 2: AS Colour scores 67. Assembly Label and Princess Polly.
00:40:39
Speaker 1: I did not expect Princess Polly to be up there.
00:40:42
Speaker 2: Score 63. 63. Whoa. I was the same. Princess Polly.
00:40:45
Speaker 1: Right?
00:40:46
Speaker 2: I thought it was going to be a one for sure.
00:40:47
Speaker 1: Wow.
00:40:48
Speaker 2: So that's quite surprising. Okay. This is interesting. Nine West and Beck and Bridge score three. This has been a very common conversation around Beck and Bridge over the past few years because people think of them and they've marketed themselves.
00:41:03
Speaker 1: Where does Cook Eye sit on this list?
00:41:05
Speaker 2: Oh, my God. I don't know. We might have to look it up. But people think of Beckenbridge as like quite a, you know, like it's an up there brand. It's not cheap. It doesn't really position itself as fast fashion.
00:41:16
Speaker 1: I love some items from Beckenbridge, but then I do sometimes look at the tag and think, why the fuck am I paying $ 300 for plastic?
00:41:27
Speaker 2: 100%. And material like this with a hem that would disintegrate. Yeah. In a second.
00:41:34
Speaker 1: But I do have some Beckenbridge tops. That I've owned for years and years and years and will continue to wear.
00:41:41
Speaker 2: Bit of a lucky dip, that one. LSKD, Reebok, 2XU, score two. Wow. Sea Folly, scored one. Yep. Gander, Stussy, White Fox, Windsor Smith, Timu, all scored zero.
00:41:57
Speaker 1: The fact that those brands are in the same category as Timu.
00:42:02
Speaker 2: Like, I'm sorry. You do not want your name and Timu to be in the same sentence. Okay. You just don't. Okay. Now, this is interesting because under the comments of this Daily Oz post, the brand LSKD, which as we just heard, got a score of two commented from the Instagram account. Their comment was quite long, but basically it said something along the lines of, thanks for starting this conversation. For context on why we ranked so low, we missed the chance to take part in the ethical fashion report. As a result, our score was based on the information that's public rather than the full picture. So our promise to our community is that we'll have this info live on our website ASAP. This is a fail forward moment for us, but we welcome the tough questions. It's how we get 1% better. Okay.
00:42:45
Speaker 1: So they're taking accountability for the fact that impartate fully in the report.
00:42:48
Speaker 2: Which I really like. And people in the comments were like, wow, this is amazing. Thank you so much. Okay. And I really like the idea of failing forward because that's what all these brands who are in the low scores, that's what they need to take this as.
00:43:00
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:43:00
Speaker 2: An opportunity to fail forward.
00:43:02
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:43:02
Speaker 2: And I... I don't know.
00:43:05
Speaker 1: Someone actually asked me at Melbourne Fashion Week today, what does sustainability mean to you? How do you recognise sustainability? How do you move forward dressing sustainably and ethically? And I was honest as fucking pie. I was like, I know this might get me cancelled. I'm very aware.
00:43:25
Speaker 2: So much so that I'm going to repeat it on the podcast.
00:43:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, so much so that we're repeating it here. But Dressing ethically, dressing sustainably has never been part of my vocabulary, let alone a part of like my model ethics.
00:43:38
Speaker 2: It hasn't.
00:43:39
Speaker 1: That's just me being so fucking honest. It's not because I don't care. It's because I have never really thought about it the way the conversation is blowing up. It's never really been a part of a conversation that's happened in our family growing up. It's never like environmental factors have never been something that we've openly discussed. At school, it wasn't something that when we were in school, we, you know, environmental sustainability for us was us learning about how to compost. So learning, the education for me around fast fashion isn't there. And yes, I can educate myself. But the way I try to be sustainable in the way that I purchase items is is making sure that if I am paying for something, I know fully that this is not a one seasonal purchase and I'm wearing this multiple times. This is going to be in the closet. It's going to stay in the closet. I'm going to wear the fuck out of this shirt. I'm going to girl math the crap out of my wardrobe. And then recently, I have been looking at items and looking at what is it actually made out of to justify the $ 300, $ 400, $ 500 price tag. Because as beautiful as it is and as trendy as it might be, and a lot of things I actually don't purchase because I'm like, that's just a trend.
00:45:00
Speaker 2: Totally.
00:45:01
Speaker 1: We're not going to need that. Like at the moment, bandanas are trending. Everyone's wearing a bandana on their head. I'm going to tell you in half a year's time, the bandana is going to lose its trendiness and people aren't going to wear it for another 10 years. So like even purchasing that piece of fabric, it's hard. And it's something that we can only just work towards being better at. That's the only way I'm going to learn how to be better and read more into it. But I think that, unfortunately, money drives the world. And telling companies to stop overproducing, I don't think that it is the right method or road to take to improving overproduction.
00:45:44
Speaker 2: Totally. Is that really going to happen?
00:45:46
Speaker 1: They're not going to be able to sustain as a business and then they're going to fail, have to go into liquidation because they're not selling enough to drive their SKUs, to drive their seasons, to drive next seasons, to reinvest into the business. Like I understand how the cogs of a business works. Is it more important than sustainability in our country and our earth? Probably not. But unless it has to be.
00:46:07
Speaker 1: A global movement where all the brands take the initiative and do the same thing. Imagine though, the thought just came into my head, imagine if all brands said or were capped by government laws on like you can only produce 100 items of every SKU that you make, right? Imagine the level of, first of all, the prices will be driven up, which we don't want. But the underconsumption that will happen will start to make things more trendy again and people will start to find their own levels of fashion and people will start dressing more individually because there is a limited amount of supply of the same fucking thing.
00:46:46
Speaker 2: I think that's true.
00:46:47
Speaker 1: I think that is a really interesting concept to think about. Will we ever be able to do something like that? No, we won't, because money drives the economy, the economy lets us live, and the cogs work, so on and so forth. But if that happened... What we would find is that we wouldn't walk on High Street Armadale and go into every shop and every shop has the same fucking blue teal shirt.
00:47:09
Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay?
00:47:10
Speaker 1: This season it's teal.
00:47:11
Speaker 2: Shout out to teal.
00:47:13
Speaker 1: Last season it was chocolate.
00:47:14
Speaker 2: Yeah. And you know what I mean?
00:47:15
Speaker 1: Like everyone has the same fucking tank top, the same pair of jeans, the same this, the same that. No one can dress differently. individually now.
00:47:24
Speaker 2: I think that's so interesting what you said about like the education that you feel like you've, yeah, that has been lacking around what sustainable fashion really means. And I don't think that we need to be super nerdy when we think about sustainability in fashion. I don't think people need to go necessarily look at this report and read through what brands ethical, I mean, it's a good thing to do, but I kind of think there are general guidelines that actually Encourage sustainability and more creativity in personal style. Yeah. Because I too feel like I'm so sick of walking into shops and seeing 50 of the same thing.
00:48:01
Speaker 1: Well, we're starting to find it now with thrifting.
00:48:04
Speaker 2: Totally. And I think it's the idea of people going shopping in their own wardrobe. Yeah. Try pairing things with unusual pieces you wouldn't normally put together. I feel like it makes you more creative. It gets more life out of your wardrobe and you buy less.
00:48:17
Speaker 1: Well, my best outfits are the ones where someone's like, oh, what are you wearing to this event next Thursday night? I've got no fucking idea. I'll work it out an hour before.
00:48:24
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:48:24
Speaker 1: I don't panic over outfits.
00:48:26
Speaker 2: Diamonds are made under pressure.
00:48:27
Speaker 1: Unless it's a really formal event.
00:48:29
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
00:48:29
Speaker 1: And even then I don't really panic about outfits. I just go in. I'm like, yeah, this looks like maybe.
00:48:34
Speaker 2: Yep.
00:48:34
Speaker 1: Try it on.
00:48:34
Speaker 2: Nah, let's.
00:48:35
Speaker 1: What about this?
00:48:36
Speaker 2: Yep.
00:48:36
Speaker 1: Cool. Let's go. Totally. And that's fun. Takes the stress out of it. Anyways, that was really interesting. I really liked that.
00:48:44
Speaker 2: Me too.
00:48:45
Speaker 1: We endeavour to be better. That's what we're rounding up with. We endeavour to be better. And I think it's quite vulnerable for me to just say, hey, I'm not sustainable, but I'm trying to be.
00:48:54
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:48:54
Speaker 1: Let's do one Auntie Adele because we've been yapping for a while.
00:48:57
Speaker 2: Short and sweet Auntie Adele. Short.
00:48:59
Speaker 1: And fucking sweet and straight to the point. We're going into our Auntie Adele. I've gone on a trip with a guy that I really have no interest in romantically, but he's just a nice guy. He keeps asking me to be his partner and I'm like, no. Why don't some men understand that when a girl reaches, I can't speak today, that when a girl reaches her peace, she just wants to enjoy friendship, nothing more. Can I say something diabolical?
00:49:21
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
00:49:22
Speaker 1: I don't think friendship between a male and a female actually works.
00:49:25
Speaker 2: Really? You're one of those. I like it.
00:49:29
Speaker 1: Let's hear it. I think on a very surface level, yes. Like I grew up being friends with a lot of, lot of males, a lot of males. And I think on a surface level, yes, 100%. To go on a one-on-one solo trip with a male, nah.
00:49:43
Speaker 2: One-on-one solo, that's true. Nah, dog.
00:49:46
Speaker 1: We're not talking about going to the pub. To have a beer with a group of people.
00:49:50
Speaker 2: Like, are they in Hawaii?
00:49:52
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. On the honeymoon package or what? Like, going to the pub to see your mate, like, with a group of people. Chill, man. Of course you can have, like, female and male friends.
00:50:03
Speaker 2: No worries.
00:50:03
Speaker 1: We're going to see Gary, Larry and fucking Bob there. I know them all. We all can, like, share a beer together. They're all sick cunts, all right? But going on a one-on-one date to sit down and have dinner with Larry.
00:50:16
Speaker 2: Getting on a plane with Larry.
00:50:17
Speaker 1: Getting on a plane with Larry.
00:50:18
Speaker 2: Getting a couple's massage by the pool with Larry.
00:50:21
Speaker 1: Bob and Adele going to Hawaii together. I mean, Gary jumping into the caravan for a little drive.
00:50:30
Speaker 2: Batting his eyelashes.
00:50:31
Speaker 1: Batting his eyelashes. I don't think it's appropriate. I'm just saying there is something more there. Whether you want that friendship or not, at some point in the relationship, one side of that friendship is going to go, wow, I can imagine myself fucking them one day.
00:50:48
Speaker 2: Oh, Lord.
00:50:49
Speaker 1: And that's where it, maybe it doesn't end up there and that's fine. And it still can be quite like platonic. But that's how I feel.
00:51:00
Speaker 2: It is very interesting because this person is saying that to her it's literally 1 million percent platonic. Yeah. And she obviously is feeling frustration around the fact that she feels like, why am I able to see a man as a totally platonic relationship? And it seems like men, from her experience at least, are totally incapable.
00:51:23
Speaker 1: No, I think it goes both ways. Because I've seen instances before where the man thinks it's totally platonic and the woman doesn't. And it's just a case of like someone catching a crush. And it doesn't mean that nothing's going to happen. It doesn't mean that something's going to happen. It just means that there's a little crush there. I don't know. It's such a hard, it's such a hard conversation because like a lot of people disagree with me with this. And then they think that like you can't have a male friend or a female friend that's an opposite sex. I think that you can 100% still be friends, but to have that closeness where you're going on a one-on-one trip with them, it instigates a level of intimacy that you reserve for a partner. And I think that's what it is. I think that, like, when you go on one-on-one dates or you go on one-on-one holidays, that's a level of intimacy that I feel like, well, me in myself feel like you should reserve for, like, a romantic partner.
00:52:19
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
00:52:20
Speaker 1: Unless it's in a group situation and all of your friends are going out on this holiday and all of your, like you're in, you know, all the mates are going and it's chill, you know.
00:52:27
Speaker 2: And there are also, there are always exceptions to every rule. Like some people out there 100% would have like besties from their whole lives and it's a girl and a guy and they're besties and that's totally fine. So I guess it's just.
00:52:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are your thoughts around that?
00:52:42
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like it's case by case.
00:52:44
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:52:45
Speaker 2: Because I definitely have really good guy friends, but I guess I'm like, would I go on a one-on-one trip with them? Probably not. But why? Yeah, I don't know. That's what I mean. But why?
00:52:56
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you go on a one-on-one trip with them? Let's say you had two weeks away and you're jumping into a caravan.
00:53:01
Speaker 2: Well, I probably, to be fair, I probably don't have a guy best friend who I hang out with one-on-one in that way. But I can use my imagination to think, mate, imagine if I had a primary, if one of my best friends just happened to be a guy. I'm sure there are people out there who have that situation and it can be totally platonic. Where are they?
00:53:24
Speaker 1: If you are one of those people, please come forward.
00:53:26
Speaker 2: Please write in.
00:53:27
Speaker 1: Please write in. I'd love someone to actually debate me on this because I want to open up my viewpoint on this. I really don't want to be so traditional in my thinking because And I want to truly believe that like a male and a female can be like the bestest of friends and there be nothing there on both sides. But internally, I just know how women operate and I don't think that that's the case. And also I am coming from a point of like I also know how men operate and I might just be because I'm like fucking traumatized. I don't know. But I don't believe that like friendship in that capacity can exist without any sexual tension.
00:54:01
Speaker 2: Hmm.
00:54:02
Speaker 1: At some point of the relationship. It's not to say that it won't come to fruition. Anyways, guys, we've been yapping and yapping and yapping. We need to round this episode up.
00:54:09
Speaker 2: We do.
00:54:10
Speaker 1: Because we need to head on out the door. But thank you for joining us this week. I hope you loved it. And if you didn't, let us know. I mean, any feedback is good feedback.
00:54:18
Speaker 2: I mean.
00:54:18
Speaker 1: Oh, don't let us know. No, we want to know. We only want the positive information. If you want to submit your Auntie Adele's, please feel free to do so. We're going to be doing heaps of holiday episodes with Auntie Adele's in the future whilst we're on break. But we're slowly starting to record them, which is really interesting. They're in line to be recorded. So if you want to include your Auntie Adele dilemma and us sing it out to you, in the holiday break, please submit it. It will be in the show notes. Other than that, we love you and we will see you next week.
00:54:45
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:54:46
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Adele and welcome to Pretty Sure, the podcast where we talk about the things everyone thinks about but nobody says out loud. Each week I'll be sharing my Pretty Sure opinions, unpacking the internet's biggest conversations and figuring out the things I'm not so sure about right alongside you. And if a conversation ever feels a little too heavy, we'll always include support resources in the show notes. Please take care of yourselves, seek professional help if needed or skip the entire episode if it's not for you. Now, let's get into the show. Hey guys, welcome to Pretty Sure. First of all, welcome to another episode.
00:00:34
Speaker 2: Maybe let's start there.
00:00:36
Speaker 1: Welcome to another week of Pretty Sure. Multiple things we've spoken about before we actually like started recording. One of those being the fact that I've become way too comfortable in the studio. The fact that I just like took my shoes off and like walked around with my dogs out is, I think I just need to check myself for a second there.
00:00:51
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I think own the space.
00:00:53
Speaker 1: I think, I love, it's like a second home to us now. I mean, we're 17 episodes in.
00:00:58
Speaker 2: We're getting very comfortable here. Too comfortable?
00:01:01
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe. And we were just saying, not only are we like extremely comfortable, but like part of this space is like me just openly talking about how my nose is leaking because of hay fever. And you're not a Melbournian.
00:01:16
Speaker 2: No.
00:01:17
Speaker 1: And you were just saying like you think that it's something that people grow out of in Melbourne, but I've actually grown into hay fever. I never had hay fever as a kid. Melbourne has like the worst pollen count. What? No, no, it's like a known thing.
00:01:28
Speaker 2: Is it? Is it? No, girl, it's so bad. I'm a new Melburnian and I really hope that this fate is not making its way to me.
00:01:36
Speaker 1: I'm going to give it two years until it starts affecting you.
00:01:39
Speaker 2: I'm going to give myself two years to move away from Melbourne. No, no, we can't lose you.
00:01:44
Speaker 1: No, it's not that bad.
00:01:46
Speaker 2: You'll be fine.
00:01:47
Speaker 1: No, but it's really bad. Like, I never used to struggle with hay fever. And now all of a sudden my nose is leaking at every opportunity. My eyes are leaking at every opportunity. I mean, I don't get the scratchy throat that badly. But at times I'm like, wow.
00:02:02
Speaker 2: I really feel for people who get really bad hay fever.
00:02:06
Speaker 1: Right.
00:02:06
Speaker 2: Because the symptoms on the surface sound so minor. But I think just because they're so persistent, it can become so debilitating.
00:02:13
Speaker 1: You get in bed and you've got like this blocked nose. You're like, wait. Is it the flu or is it hay fever? And you question your sanity.
00:02:19
Speaker 2: Hate that. It's so bad. So let's start.
00:02:23
Speaker 1: The episode off after our brief little yap. And I decided to just like welcome you guys into the yap about what we're discussing because I know that people are going to be nodding in the cars on the way to work listening to this being like, yeah, hay fever is fucking me up the ass.
00:02:35
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
00:02:36
Speaker 1: But I'm pretty sure that we came into this studio and I just said quick bye, hi and bye, because I had to run out the door to go to the IVF clinic to do my shot. Because I found out this morning, first of all, let me just recap the day. Let me give you a bit of backstory. Came in this morning in the same area where we shoot is like the same area where the clinic is, which works for me.
00:02:58
Speaker 2: That's very lucky.
00:02:59
Speaker 1: It's very convenient. I was like, I can make this work because we don't shoot, like this studio is not close to my home, which is fine. I'm happy to make the trek. I literally came in first thing in the morning to get a scan done. And then they were like, the doctor will be in contact with you, doing some meetings, you know, in the cafe downstairs and just yapping away, doing my usual stuff. They gave me a buzz and they're like, right, so we're going to get you in on this Wednesday. The people at home that don't know, we record on a Monday. I'm going to go in on Wednesday for my egg retrieval. But we're going to do it a little bit earlier just because my doctor is amazing. Like she's, shout out to Dr.
00:03:33
Speaker 2: Raelia Liu.
00:03:34
Speaker 1: She is phenomenal. And just with the job that I'm in, We have things pop up last minute that you can say no to. I just prefer to like seize the opportunities as they come. And we are going to have a very, very big weekend. So I was like the earlier we can do the retrieval, the better. So I can have more days just lying low to recover properly before I start work again. So anyways, called me and was like, we're actually going to do it this Wednesday. But to do that, we need to like double dose you today.
00:04:03
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:04:04
Speaker 1: As soon as possible. So then you can take your trigger shot tonight and then you'll have your admission time on Wednesday and then go through that period. So I literally was like, you messaged me and you were like, hey, do you want to catch up before the episode? I'm like, Yes, but I can't. Grab me another matcha if you can. Love you lots.
00:04:20
Speaker 2: I'm running out the door.
00:04:21
Speaker 1: I'll see you in 15 minutes. And I ran, sprinted over, got the shot, went down to the nurses. The nurse, lovely Lucy, my nurse, I'm obsessed with her. She's so fucking kind. Shot me in the tummy, came back. We did a quick powwow and now we're here.
00:04:35
Speaker 2: Quick shot in the tummy and not the kind that is. Yeah, look. Yeah. Not the funnest kind. Not the funnest kind. No, unfortunately.
00:04:45
Speaker 1: It doesn't actually, I don't know if it's a mental thing, but I find that shots hurt more when you do them to yourself.
00:04:52
Speaker 2: Really? Yes.
00:04:53
Speaker 1: Like getting blood drawn hurts more than doing these shots.
00:04:57
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:04:57
Speaker 1: Because it's like, it's going to sound really gross, but you've like pinched your tummy fat.
00:05:01
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:05:01
Speaker 1: And it's done on a superficial level. Whereas like when you get blood drawn, it's like into the vein. Yeah, totally. Sorry if you've got needle phobia at home and you're like listening to this. But yeah, it doesn't actually hurt that much. It's just like... An uncomfortable feeling when you're doing it to yourself because you know when it goes in and what you're pushing in and it's like the mental part of it.
00:05:23
Speaker 2: 100%. That makes so much sense.
00:05:25
Speaker 1: Yeah. And even when you're like pinching your own tummy and like injecting yourself, like if you're doing it home by yourself, it actually can be a little bit fiddly rather than if you have someone's help. Like I've had someone's help two nights this week. And they've been able to like pinch my tummy and then I've been able to do the injection. It just means that you've got like a free hand to be able to hold the needle into yourself. It's very weird. Very weird experience. I feel like a qualified nurse.
00:05:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally.
00:05:50
Speaker 1: I'm totally not.
00:05:50
Speaker 2: It just seems like such an intense thing to have to do to yourself, which is really strange because I'm like, obviously it's a tiny needle. It's totally safe. It's totally fine. You're obviously like kind of trained through the process of how to do it right and safely and everything like that. But I can imagine I would much rather you shoot me in the tummy than have to do it to myself.
00:06:10
Speaker 1: That's the thing.
00:06:10
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:06:11
Speaker 1: I don't know why I decided when I had help this week to not get them to.
00:06:16
Speaker 2: I was thinking that.
00:06:16
Speaker 1: It's more, I think it's more of a control thing because I've been doing it for so long. I know what to do. They wouldn't have, wouldn't have done it before. And I would be scared that they would be scared to inject. Does that make sense?
00:06:28
Speaker 2: Totally. Because now you're the pro. You're the one with all the experience. Yeah. So does double dosing early mean that you're going to have any kind of extra side effects?
00:06:36
Speaker 1: Nah. Nah. It basically means that it's going to like kickstart my follicles to grow a little bit more because when I did my scan today, they're not quite ready.
00:06:44
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:06:45
Speaker 1: My little follicles. Did you know eggs are microscopic? Did we talk about this in our last episode?
00:06:49
Speaker 2: No.
00:06:49
Speaker 1: I don't know if I told you this. I found this out the last cycle I did. Our eggs are actually microscopic.
00:06:57
Speaker 2: As in, as opposed to what? So the eggs grow in our follicles. With the naked eye?
00:07:01
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Our eggs grow in our follicles and how they do this medication is they like inject you with hormone so your follicles and your eggs can grow. The egg is in the, I'm, I'm, I just want to say I'm not a doctor.
00:07:12
Speaker 2: Okay. Let's put that at the top.
00:07:14
Speaker 1: Let's just put that at the very top. I'm not a doctor.
00:07:16
Speaker 2: This is not medical advice. This is not medical advice.
00:07:18
Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor. I'm just repeating what the nurse said to me.
00:07:21
Speaker 2: Totally.
00:07:21
Speaker 1: But I may have heard it wrong.
00:07:23
Speaker 2: Don't shoot the messenger. Don't shoot the messenger. Don't shoot Adele.
00:07:26
Speaker 1: So what I understand is the follicle, the egg is inside the follicle. It's microscopic. They basically do like an internal ultrasound, which is always very unusual. And they look at the follicles and they measure the size of the follicle. And then they want the follicle to be a certain size, which means that the egg is ready to retrieve.
00:07:43
Speaker 2: Right.
00:07:44
Speaker 1: And all of my follicles were sitting sort of around the 11 mark. And I think they need to be.
00:07:48
Speaker 2: A little bit bigger.
00:07:50
Speaker 1: When the follicles get to a certain size, they're ready to retrieve. So then you do a trigger shot to ovulate and then they retrieve the eggs for you in a day procedure. Then they put those follicles and the eggs, they put the eggs in a petri dish, a beautiful lab dish. scientists, a lab scientist or just a scientist? I'm going to say just a scientist.
00:08:09
Speaker 2: I like lab scientists.
00:08:10
Speaker 1: Lab scientists makes them sound extra fancy, which they are. The lab scientist goes with your Petri dish straight into the lab, puts them right on. Like I walk in, I walk into my day studio. I lie myself on the bed before they knock me the fuck out. And I get introduced to the scientist that's going to be looking at my little babies.
00:08:31
Speaker 2: That is?
00:08:31
Speaker 1: They're very cool. The last one was called Anna. She had very pretty eyes.
00:08:34
Speaker 2: We love Anna.
00:08:35
Speaker 1: We love Anna.
00:08:36
Speaker 2: Anna was very, very cute.
00:08:37
Speaker 1: But Anna took my petri dish upstairs whilst I was knocked the fuck out, okay? And she looked at my little eggies and she was able to say, this one's good, this one's bad. We'll get rid of this bad one.
00:08:48
Speaker 2: What?
00:08:48
Speaker 1: This one's not the correct size. Off it goes. And they only, like, keep the best eggs.
00:08:53
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
00:08:54
Speaker 1: To put in the freezer. So last time I had 19 that came out and 14 of them were viable to sit in the freezer. So they only put the best ones in the freezer.
00:09:01
Speaker 2: Wow. So they can tell straight away.
00:09:03
Speaker 1: They can tell straight away, but under the microscope.
00:09:05
Speaker 2: That's, I'm sorry, technology is amazing.
00:09:07
Speaker 1: It's fucking wild.
00:09:08
Speaker 2: Women's health, we have a long way to go, obviously.
00:09:10
Speaker 1: Such a long way to go.
00:09:11
Speaker 2: You often talk about.
00:09:11
Speaker 1: And I found that today as well, I'm classified as a medical patient because I've got polycystic and endometriosis. So my nurse was just like, oh, because you're listed as a medical patient, which I didn't know that I was. My doctor's listed me as a medical patient because I've got endo and polycystic ovary syndrome. I'm pretty sure it's just the endometriosis that you can get listed as a medical patient. But the medication that I took is traditionally 200 plus, that one shot, 200 plus dollars just for that one shot. Whereas I picked it up for 25 bucks. Wow.
00:09:43
Speaker 2: No way. Yeah. What the hell? So it's subsidised?
00:09:47
Speaker 1: Because it's subsidised because I'm a medical patient.
00:09:48
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:09:49
Speaker 1: But women that choose to do this electively because it's not for medical reasons.
00:09:54
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:09:54
Speaker 1: They have to pay 200 plus dollars i can't remember what exactly it is if she said 260 280 whatever the Pfizer said but 200 bucks one fucking shot and so how many shots would people be getting well i did a double dose today for the pen you wind it all the way up to that just two two shots Isn't that fucking wild?
00:10:14
Speaker 2: That is crazy.
00:10:16
Speaker 1: So I think all my medication all up just cost me under $ 200 and that one shot was $ 200. Anyway, so that was my pretty shore. It's been a big morning but also a nothing morning at the same time. What have I really done? What have I really done? Unsure.
00:10:30
Speaker 2: You've had a shot in the belly.
00:10:31
Speaker 1: I've had a shot in the belly.
00:10:32
Speaker 2: You've done your meetings.
00:10:33
Speaker 1: I've done my meetings.
00:10:34
Speaker 2: You've got your matcha.
00:10:34
Speaker 1: And I've had an internal ultrasound and Gracie Grace brought me matcha.
00:10:39
Speaker 2: And it's delightful.
00:10:40
Speaker 1: Let's take a little sip actually. Just ASMR.
00:10:43
Speaker 2: Ready? Oh, yeah, lovely.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: All right, let's move on to as of late because I really want to speak about this today. We might have some sceptics that might not like this as of late. If my sister's listening to this episode, she's going to roll her eyes. I can actually just hear her eyes rolling into the back of her head as we speak. But I saw my light healer on the weekend.
00:11:06
Speaker 2: Your light healer?
00:11:07
Speaker 1: My light healer. Now, let me explain what a light healer is.
00:11:10
Speaker 2: Please do.
00:11:12
Speaker 1: I never really fully believed psychics. Like I never really understood them. I always think I was a sceptic. I would say I was a sceptic because how often do any of them speak absolute fucking rubbish? How many of them are actually psychics? You will never know, right? But when I came back from Europe last year and my life went to shit, one of my friends, Jade– Shout out to her. She was like, you have to see this light healer. Your life will change. You'll have to see it. See her, sorry. The only reason why I did see her is because she's also Greek Orthodox, which is quite contradicting what I'm about to say, because she has this beautiful story about how she became a light healer. She wasn't always a light healer, but she does... weave in a lot of elements of our religion into like, I would say her psychic abilities, but I think it goes, I think it surpasses being a psychic. I think she's able to see the other side, which is crazy. When I first saw her quite literally, I mean, what, what date is it now when we're recording? I saw her one year and one month ago when I came back. Everything that she said would come true has come true.
00:12:36
Speaker 2: I have so many questions. Yeah. Okay. So a light healer is a psychic. Is there a difference between light healer and psychic?
00:12:43
Speaker 1: I don't really know. I don't really know if she wants to call herself a psychic. So I'm trying to be like respectful. She calls herself a light healer.
00:12:50
Speaker 2: She's rebranded to light healer. She's rebranded.
00:12:52
Speaker 1: I love that. She's rebranded to light healer. But yeah, I think it surpasses being a psychic. Like She can see things that are going to happen and she can also speak to the spirits.
00:13:05
Speaker 2: What the hell? So have her predictions and things that she told you. Everything she said has come true. Part one thing. Being so specific that you are now a reformed skeptic. You're on board.
00:13:17
Speaker 1: Like to the point where she pulled out names and every name she pulls out, she goes, write this name down, write this name down, write this name down. And she said a particular name and I won't say it, but she said a particular name and she said like this particular person will cross your path and will show you the way and will ground you, like will intrinsically ground you.
00:13:37
Speaker 2: And that's happened.
00:13:38
Speaker 1: And someone came across my path a week later. I didn't realise that was the name that she brought forward because English and Greek names are very different. Like my Greek name is Adamantia, which means diamond and I love that. My mother didn't want to give me a life on the pole, so she called me Adele.
00:13:57
Speaker 2: You know.
00:13:59
Speaker 1: I reckon I could have been great on the pole.
00:14:01
Speaker 2: God, you would have rocked it.
00:14:02
Speaker 1: I reckon. With my flexibility, I could have made some cash.
00:14:06
Speaker 2: God, what a missed opportunity.
00:14:08
Speaker 1: Missed opportunity. I mean, life's not that short. It could still happen.
00:14:12
Speaker 2: What could it be?
00:14:13
Speaker 1: But that person came across my lap and I was like, oh, this is the person she was talking about. But it wasn't. The same name came across my lap a month later and– has been the person that's grounded me.
00:14:25
Speaker 2: Whoa.
00:14:26
Speaker 1: She said that person will ground you, that person will challenge you, and it's exactly what's happened. That's not the only thing that she said to me. She said, you're going to go, you know, I see this particular country for you. Without her knowing what I had already booked in, when I went into my first meeting with her, I didn't tell her anything, nothing. And when I say nothing, I mean there were things that she said that I have never put online before, that there's no way you could have guessed. And she knew what was going to happen. And what I was doing, what I was currently, it was fucking insane. And I don't want to tell everybody because it's personal. But names of people that she dropped have all come across my lap. They've all said, they've all done what she said they're going to do. Just crazy, crazy shit.
00:15:11
Speaker 2: And what about with the spirits element? You said she can talk to the other side. How has that presented itself?
00:15:18
Speaker 1: Well, she did say, and this sounds like a bit voodoo, but I do truly believe it. My grandfather who has passed away was a man of the church. And when I did come home last year from Europe, she literally said that your like grandfather has brought the truth forward for you because intrinsically he knows how important marriage is under the roof of the Greek Orthodox church. We have these things called the Stefana, which are like these crowns that are linked together by a ribbon. Sometimes it's ribbon and it, it, it, quite literally links man to woman, woman to man. And you cross it over and you have your, we call them our Gulbada, which is our best man, but it goes further than a best man or a best woman. It's sort of they're the initially or traditionally the person that will be the godmother or good father for your children.
00:16:08
Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
00:16:09
Speaker 1: So they cross these stefana, these crowns, and they link husband to wife, wife to husband. And she said, because he is a man of the church, He knows how important it is to you and to him and to the family to get married underneath the crowns. And he brought the truth forward before anything could happen underneath those crowns. And like that can be quite sceptic for some people, but like that in itself, I fully believe it because number one, I did not tell her how many grandparents I had. Number two, at the time that she gave this reading. I hadn't put any of my grandparents online. So how does she know that first of all, my grandfather is the only grandfather that's passed? She also listed his name.
00:16:52
Speaker 2: What the hell?
00:16:53
Speaker 1: No, no. It was a creepy, like, like creepy in the best way possible. And I didn't tell her anything when I first met her. So everything that she said, including my career, she said that, you know, she said certain things were going to happen in my career over the next 12 months. And they've all come true.
00:17:07
Speaker 2: This is actually crazy. Yeah. This is so crazy because I actually really like the idea of, like I remember getting my cards read once by like some woo-woo family friend. I love that. Just like this random lady who was like, I'll read your cards. And I was like, okay. And then I said to her, oh, I don't know if I fully believe in like the magic of this kind of thing of like psychic abilities. And it was so cool because her response was she wasn't offended at all. And I was just like being transparent with her, just being like, I don't know if this is, if there's, do you just take this with a grain of salt? Like let's be for real. And her response was. Yeah, you don't have to believe it. But if anything, it's a really good opportunity for reflection. And I was like, that's so true. Because on the one hand, this woman could totally, your light healer lady.
00:17:56
Speaker 1: She could be fobbing me.
00:17:57
Speaker 2: She could be fobbing or she could be an actual magical human being.
00:18:02
Speaker 1: No, I know.
00:18:02
Speaker 2: But in a way, both are just as valuable. Because maybe there's an element of like, what if... you know, the things that she's saying about your career, she's then planting seeds in you that you then take and manifest. I don't know.
00:18:16
Speaker 1: It could be elements of manifestation, but like, I can't say it on the potty. You know what I'm doing from a personal level. But she said, I see this particular thing that's happening in your career. It's going to happen. It's happening. I'm not sure that the line is blurred. She goes, are you doing blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yes.
00:18:34
Speaker 2: The specifics are pretty crazy.
00:18:36
Speaker 1: Like she could have said anything, but she said that specific project that's going to come out next year. But how does she know that?
00:18:43
Speaker 2: Do you go in asking her questions or do you just go in and you're basically like, tell me what I need to hear?
00:18:49
Speaker 1: She just starts with the reading and she'll tell me. Things will just pop out at her. For instance, she gave me a letter. She goes a name starting with blah, blah, blah, a particular letter. really important to you. They're currently having tummy issues. I'm having something wrong with my tummy at the moment. Or she said, is this particular person struggling with their sleep? They're really struggling with their sleep. They're overthinking. They're in your world. You're not actually going to be able to calm them down, but just be there for them. Like she, random bits of information will come towards her. She gave me a couple of names and she's like, this name has spat out at me. Does that mean anything to you? They really like you. They think you're a straight shooter. Like they're happy that you've like entered their vicinity or their circle of life. And little things like that are just, I think that if anything, she just brings a lot of validation and comfort and hope. I think sometimes when we live in such a world that is like constantly driven by existential crisis modes that are happening, 24-7, I don't even know if that sentence just made sense, but... We're driven towards constant negativity. It's nice to have someone go, this is really positive. Keep your eye out for this name. This name is something important to you. This is what I'm seeing in your career. And then she's like, oh, you're working on this at the moment or you're going to be working on this. I see this. I see this. I see this. And then she'll like whip out some names. She'll do card readings as well. And did a lovely, lovely card reading with me. And that was really nice. That also like, that also validates where you are in your current space and what's to come, I think. And then she does like a little light healing session at the end. It's almost like I would say it's a prayer, but it goes further than a prayer. It's sort of visualization, sorry.
00:20:37
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:20:38
Speaker 1: And like a version of meditation that just like you do some breath work with her and It's really nice.
00:20:43
Speaker 2: It sounds beautiful.
00:20:44
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:20:44
Speaker 2: I want to try this. It's really beautiful. I know you're gatekeeping her, which I understand.
00:20:48
Speaker 1: The only reason I'm gatekeeping her is because I don't want her to book out, guys.
00:20:52
Speaker 2: She's mine, okay?
00:20:53
Speaker 1: She's already really fucking busy as it is.
00:20:56
Speaker 2: This is the.
00:20:57
Speaker 1: Second time I've seen her. I mean, I'm really busy too, so I'm at fault for not seeing her sooner. But my sister's reaction is like, Adele, shut the fuck up. She's like, Adele, shut the fuck up. That's not true. Like she's just like she could have just done a research. I'm like you can't research these things. I don't think that there were elements of what she said that you could have researched.
00:21:17
Speaker 2: It's unresearchable.
00:21:20
Speaker 1: It's not on the internet. Anyways, maybe if we're lucky she'll come onto the podcast.
00:21:24
Speaker 2: That would be amazing.
00:21:25
Speaker 1: And do a live reading.
00:21:26
Speaker 2: Can she do me?
00:21:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure.
00:21:28
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
00:21:30
Speaker 1: But you have to like believe.
00:21:31
Speaker 2: I do. Aura, you are sceptic. No, I totally do. I think as soon as she enters the room, I will feel her aura.
00:21:41
Speaker 1: She's got such a beautiful aura.
00:21:43
Speaker 2: I bet she does. People like this always do.
00:21:46
Speaker 1: It's really, really lovely to be around. Okay, maybe I'll share the name a little bit later on in another episode when she's here.
00:21:52
Speaker 2: If we're lucky.
00:21:53
Speaker 1: If we're lucky. And I have my next 12 months appointments booked in. All right, let's move on to my two cents. What do you have for me this week, Gracie?
00:22:02
Speaker 2: I've got a big question for you. So I read an article and the big question, does it make you a bad friend to be envious of your friends?
00:22:12
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:22:13
Speaker 2: That's your answer.
00:22:15
Speaker 1: Yep.
00:22:16
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I want to unpack it because this article goes on to explain that there's actually a common misconception between the idea that envy and jealousy are the same thing. Whereas these two words actually have quite different meanings. Envy means wanting what someone else has and feeling inferior or resentful. Okay. So that's what we're talking about in this friend-vy question. Mm-hmm. jealousy is the fear of losing something you already have to another person.
00:22:43
Speaker 1: That makes a lot of sense.
00:22:45
Speaker 2: Once it was laid out like this, I was like, I totally clocked it immediately.
00:22:49
Speaker 1: I've never broken those two down.
00:22:51
Speaker 2: No, neither. Because I think that there is a common misconception that they're the same thing, that they're a synonym, but they're actually very different. So what it goes on to explain is that people usually feel more envy when they're closer in age and status to the person they're comparing themselves to. So envy is actually very common in friendships because you're usually, you know, in a similar life stage. This person's in your life. They're very close to you. There are elements where you can kind of see yourself very clearly in them or in their lives or in their situations. I wanted to ask... Whether you have experienced this on either side, have you felt envious of another person? Have you had friends who have felt envious of you and express that in any kinds of way? I want to start there.
00:23:35
Speaker 1: Okay. I, this is really interesting. I've, I don't think that first of all, jealousy in Greek is called zilia. And I will always say zilia will be the death of people. Zilia, it's not envy and jealousy or jealousy as a whole. It's not a good trait to have.
00:23:53
Speaker 2: It's an ugly emotion.
00:23:54
Speaker 1: It's an ugly, ugly, ugly trait to have. But it is an emotion that does come up. I don't want to say that I've experienced jealousy or envy. I get quite frustrated when I say, for instance, like this person's not a good person. I intrinsically in my gut know that. And then when I share that information and it's not believed, it comes across as if I am jealous of that person and it's not the case. It's more that I am protective of the ones that are close to me because I fucking trust my gut I'm sorry I just do and people have to make their own mistakes and they have to learn in their own way which is like what I have started to realize I've just got to let it run its course because karma will lay the seeds it will balance the scales it'll balance the scales and karma will intrinsically do what it does best okay so I just sometimes have to shut up step back let it happen in front of me and just let it play out I wouldn't say I've experienced jealousy or envy, but I would say I have looked towards friends and family who have maybe things like a family. and like a really solid relationship and they're pregnant or having kids and it's something that I do want for my future I most definitely don't want it now and I know that and I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better I don't look at that as envious though I look at it as like oh I really want it but it's such a beautiful thing that they have is that still envy.
00:25:31
Speaker 2: So I think that's kind of what it goes on to unpack this article that I read And I think that your response is actually embodying exactly what this article is recommending that people do. Okay.
00:25:44
Speaker 1: Well, that's nice.
00:25:45
Speaker 2: I think it is really nice. No, Adele. And I think it's a sign of maturity and probably like inner confidence as well, because I think that jealousy often comes from a place of insecurity.
00:25:56
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:25:57
Speaker 2: Whereas envy, I think, has an element where it can actually be a really positive and motivating factor. That's kind of what I've taken from this.
00:26:05
Speaker 1: It's really interesting. I was talking about this with a friend on the weekend, actually, about how sometimes we look at relationships that, you know, you might have with someone and Let's say that this person has lost a parent. Okay. And it's way more common than we think. Whether they don't have a relationship with a parent or the parent has passed or whatever the situation is, very unfortunate. You look at other friends that have great relationships with their parents or they still have their parents around. There is envy there for wanting that beautiful something rather that you can see unfold and but knowing and understanding fully that's never possible for you. And like that in itself is quite, it punches between the ribs because you're like, oh, I want it, but I know for a fact I can't have it. Like it's physically not possible. The balance between the two of like going between looking at something that's quite beautiful, but then the hurt of like knowing that you can never have something like that is quite, it's quite a big feeling to juggle.
00:27:11
Speaker 2: It's a very vulnerable place to be, I think, in a friendship or in any kind of relationship when you're in that situation. I also think it doesn't mean that feeling that envy and longing for that situation or that relationship that someone else has that you have to come to terms with the fact of knowing is not possible for you. It doesn't mean that you would want to take that situation away from someone else. So I think that envy actually can have almost like a beautiful, vulnerable element that maybe isn't celebrated enough. But this list about how to handle it, I want to get your thoughts on this because I think this is maybe part of the key to being able to like access the vulnerable, powerful side of envy, maybe. Yeah. It says number one is name it, don't shame it. So acknowledging that feeling might prevent it from becoming destructive.
00:28:04
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that.
00:28:05
Speaker 2: I like it too, because imagine if you had a friendship where you felt kind of, I guess, trustful enough to be able to say to someone, oh, I really feel a pang when I look at what you've done or what you have done. that for whatever reason isn't part of my life. And I love it for you so much. But being able to share that with someone else feels like such a scary thing to do. But maybe that is, maybe that would be a positive thing to do in some situations. I'm not sure.
00:28:31
Speaker 1: It's really interesting because do you know how common it is for like adults, fully grown adults, including myself, very common. I have been working on this with my therapist for years on not being able to name your own emotions. So like when it comes to understanding jealousy and what that looks like and feels like and what it is, a lot of adults actually can't name jealousy. They go, I'm upset. I'm sad. I'm angry. You're jealous.
00:28:59
Speaker 2: That makes a lot of sense.
00:29:01
Speaker 1: So then you act out because you can't name and shame it.
00:29:06
Speaker 2: Because you have internalised that shame. You're like, I know that what I'm feeling doesn't sit right and so I feel ashamed about it so I can't verbalise it.
00:29:13
Speaker 1: They don't even clock that aspect of it. They go, pang, feeling, I'm angry because this person is hanging out with this person who doesn't know that I chose them over me. I'm angry. They'll cry about it. I'm sad because they chose them over me. You're jealous.
00:29:29
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:29:29
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:29:30
Speaker 2: And the unawareness is what makes it destructive.
00:29:33
Speaker 1: It's actually very hard to be aware of your own emotions, especially in the moment. I still sometimes can't do it in the moment. Like I have to let it come out of my body almost, like release it. And then a day or two later upon reflection, I'm like, huh, that's what I was feeling.
00:29:49
Speaker 2: The penny drops. Oh. Yeah. A little bit of distance is always good.
00:29:54
Speaker 1: That makes a lot of sense.
00:29:56
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:29:57
Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm yapping. I'm yapping too much.
00:29:58
Speaker 2: No, I love it.
00:29:59
Speaker 1: What's the next little part?
00:29:59
Speaker 2: Number two is openness. Admitting to your friends you are proud and envy them, which I feel like goes hand in hand with the last point. Transform it. So transform envy into appreciation and connection rather than resentment.
00:30:12
Speaker 1: I think that's beautiful.
00:30:13
Speaker 2: I love that. I think that's so good. The last point is allow it to motivate. It can increase effort and performance when goals are reasonable. So like you said, some things that other people have might just be physically impossible for you. And that's a hard thing to admit and to reconcile. But some things, if you're actually envious of someone because you admire something that they've done or achieved or somewhere they went or the kind of people that they're around... that can actually be a really positive, motivating force.
00:30:42
Speaker 1: We had this in our family recently, and I'm going to out everybody. And I think it's good to be outed. I'm just going to out everyone in my family. I don't think it's a bad thing. And I don't think, first of all, before I say this story, there was ever any ill intent. There's also no jealousy attached to it. But me and one of my other cousins were speaking about my family has done this very, very beautiful thing where I don't know if you know this, but when you have a baby, your council will get all the mothers that have just recently had babies and they'll make like a little mother's group within your council.
00:31:12
Speaker 2: I did not know that.
00:31:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very fucking cute. That's adorable.
00:31:15
Speaker 2: It's very fucking cute.
00:31:16
Speaker 1: Sometimes, a lot of the times, you might not get along with the mothers in your mother's group.
00:31:20
Speaker 2: So true.
00:31:21
Speaker 1: Or some of them might be very, very different to you or whatever it is, but it's more so mothers can find support in themselves. Now, it happened that like in my family... all of the cousins and stuff would go to these mothers groups and they wouldn't necessarily have the bond that they wanted to have with other mothers. So we've got a very, very big family. All of my cousins that have had babies, they've created their own little mothers group.
00:31:44
Speaker 2: Very cute.
00:31:45
Speaker 1: So it means that like, however often they catch up, all the kids get together, the kids get to play. They've also created this gorgeous friendship. like cousinly friendship, because I would say that we're probably more friends than we are with our cousins' family, if that makes sense. We're more friends than family. Let me re-say that. One of my other cousins spoke to me and was like, I actually am quite offended. And I'm like, oh, why? And she said, well, just because our cousins are a little bit older than us, so they've hit these like traditional markers of like having kids. We're not now not invited to see the nieces and nephews. We're not now invited to be part or partake in this group that we would had we not had had kids, had have kids. What? Had have? Have had. Have had kids. I was like, my brain is bothering.
00:32:36
Speaker 2: That turns the charm. Have had.
00:32:37
Speaker 1: Have had kids. Prior to everybody having kids, we would have all hung out together and we did. Yeah. But now that the mothers group exists, we don't hang out together because I'm not a mother. She's not a mother. There's a couple of others. in the family that aren't mothers because we just, our timelines haven't gotten there yet. Or she was saying, you know, it's not really all that fair because what if some of us can't be mothers?
00:33:01
Speaker 2: Wow. So they kind of feel left out. They felt like they had a strong friendship and the existence of this motherhood group that they're not a part.
00:33:08
Speaker 1: Of has deteriorated. Well, not, not, yes, yes, yes, deteriorated, but it's more looking at it from a place of And I'm going to say this because when my cousin spoke to me about this, I was like 100% in agreeance with it. I was just like, I visibly see that and it is something that I eventually want. Not at the moment, but I do eventually want it. If I can't have it in the future, am I then just not allowed into that group? Or can it be an open group so then I can involve myself as a motherly figure, as an auntie, and do what I can to offer support to these children that I love and adore? Why does it always only have to be the mothers that are invited into this group? It's kind of the same situation as like you'll have your kid's birthday, you'll have your kid's christening, you'll have your kid's yada, yada, yada. These are all the milestones. But like when it comes to your birthday or a big achievement in your life, it's not seen as the same capacity because you don't have a child. It's like this parallel life that people live or they feel like they can't. resonate with you no longer because you don't have a family and they do, which is not the case.
00:34:19
Speaker 2: Which is so strange because I love the idea. Like if I was in a mother's group, I would 100% love to have like, and I had a brand new baby, I would love to have like my friends and like, you know, my best friends who would basically be like aunties to my baby there, even if they were childless. So I guess it does seem very strange that being a part of this group is contingent on being a mother.
00:34:47
Speaker 1: I will say to back the mother's group, I will say, because there are a lot of us where did the invitation stop?
00:34:55
Speaker 2: Totally.
00:34:56
Speaker 1: So there does come a point where it's like you're facilitating how many people at your house, how many kids at your house, where do we actually stop the invitations? But in turn, because we're not invited into this circle, we're also not invited to these kids' birthdays.
00:35:10
Speaker 2: It has a bit of a flow-on effect.
00:35:12
Speaker 1: It has a flow-on effect because we're not seeing them as often. And, you know, it does fall on us too. Like we need to make the effort to go and see everyone. But if there's this monthly catch-up that's happening– That we can be involved with or we can be invited to when it's happening. We might, you know, like I want to attend all the birthdays. Like I fucking love these kids. It's just an interesting conversation. It's very interesting. And from that perspective, I don't think it's jealousy or envy. I think it's like once again, it's an appreciation of looking at something thinking it's beautiful. It might not be something that I will be able to have or maybe it is something I'll be able to have but it's not yet.
00:35:49
Speaker 2: Right.
00:35:50
Speaker 1: But how can I show support without showing jealousy?
00:35:54
Speaker 2: Yeah. And how can you be a part of it and, like, show up for your friends?
00:35:58
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:35:59
Speaker 2: How can you, yeah, how can you be a.
00:36:01
Speaker 1: Part of it without actually physically carrying a baby?
00:36:04
Speaker 2: And also for the mothers group, I totally get if you're a new mother, of course you want to talk to other new mums because you're all going through the same experience. I will say. But does it have to be exclusive?
00:36:13
Speaker 1: I will say, though. I know. I don't think it has to be exclusive.
00:36:16
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:36:17
Speaker 1: I will say that a common thread, what new mums talk about is the fact that they had no fucking information.
00:36:23
Speaker 2: Totally.
00:36:24
Speaker 1: So if you then like no information about anything, about teething, about what diarrhea meant in the nappy, about what, you know, what fucking, I don't know, a shit, a burp, whatever it is, right? Growing pains, sleeping patterns. Imagine if you opened up that mother's circle to mothers to be in the future and And awareness and conversation was starting to build around information that we didn't even know existed.
00:36:49
Speaker 2: Could not agree more.
00:36:50
Speaker 1: Like I've only just learned a couple years ago about mastitis. I didn't know it was a thing.
00:36:55
Speaker 2: I'm going to be so real with you right now.
00:36:56
Speaker 1: Do you know what mastitis is?
00:36:57
Speaker 2: I've never heard of that in my life.
00:36:59
Speaker 1: It's like, once again, I'm not a doctor, okay? But it's basically like when you breastfeed. At this point, you're my doctor. I'm Grace's doctor, actually. When your breast gets blocked from breastfeeding, like the duct gets blocked and you basically get mastitis, like an infection.
00:37:16
Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
00:37:17
Speaker 1: And it's quite painful. And you can get it when you wean your baby off breastfeeding or if you don't pump in between feeds. I didn't know it was a thing.
00:37:26
Speaker 2: I feel like I know nothing about breastfeeding.
00:37:28
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. Imagine if we opened up this circle to women who maybe want to be mothers in the future or just like want to hang around mums and hang around non-mums too. Like you can live this parallel life about going to a mother's group and also like going to the pub with your friends.
00:37:42
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:37:43
Speaker 1: And just like learning and being more open.
00:37:45
Speaker 2: And older mums too. This is why we need intergenerational like friendships and relationships between women. It's so important.
00:37:52
Speaker 1: It's so important.
00:37:53
Speaker 2: We have so much to learn.
00:37:54
Speaker 1: We have so much to learn. We have yapped and yapped and yapped. We're doing well at the yapping today. It's really, it's going to.
00:37:59
Speaker 2: Be a juicy end.
00:38:00
Speaker 1: We're really going to roll, aren't we? All righty. Shall we move into our surely nots because I'm really excited about this one.
00:38:07
Speaker 2: The Daily Oz reported that the new ethical fashion report has been released. This is a big fashion report that happens basically ranking Australia's fashion brands where they stand on their website. Ethical metrics. Right.
00:38:21
Speaker 1: Love that.
00:38:22
Speaker 2: Mainly across like environmental risks and human rights in each company's supply chain. Okay. Okay. So the report scores brands out of 100 based on their ethical commitment. So obviously a score close to 100 is very good. Yep. A score of 1. Very, very bad. You're looking pretty shady. You're looking pretty shit.
00:38:41
Speaker 1: You're looking pretty shady.
00:38:43
Speaker 2: So... Just for a bit of context around why this report is really important and why it's such a huge public conversation when it comes out. For those of you who don't know, the fashion industry accounts for about 10% of global emissions. That is huge.
00:38:57
Speaker 1: That's massive.
00:38:58
Speaker 2: It's so huge. It's so significant. The report found that there is... have been positive shifts towards using sustainable fibres by a lot of brands, but overproduction remains a key issue, which is so interesting because it's like, even if people are like, even if brands and labels are using recycled materials and natural fibres, just like the fact that we're making so much stuff is still contributing to like that 10% of emissions. So it's a good thing to keep in mind. 88% of companies could not prove that they pay workers a living wage. What do you mean?
00:39:37
Speaker 1: I have no words.
00:39:38
Speaker 2: I know.
00:39:39
Speaker 1: Okay.
00:39:40
Speaker 2: So that's just, I don't really know how to elaborate on that apart from the fact that that is so crazy.
00:39:46
Speaker 1: That's fucking wild.
00:39:47
Speaker 2: Something to keep in mind is that a lot of this reporting, from what I can gather, is based off of basically engaging these companies, asking for them to share data. And if it's not publicly available and if they don't share their data in time.
00:40:01
Speaker 1: They get ranked lower.
00:40:02
Speaker 2: They get ranked lower.
00:40:03
Speaker 1: Okay.
00:40:03
Speaker 2: So there's, you know, there's a bit of an accessibility. There's problems with the reports. There's a little bit of, yeah, there's a few problems. But, like, by and all, people definitely refer to it as, like, a reliable source of information. So I'm just going to give you some examples just so you can paint a bit of a mental picture about what Australian brands are doing. So brands who have a score of 70, which is pretty good, include Patagonia, Kathmandu, Rip Curl. Okay, shout out to Rip Curl.
00:40:33
Speaker 1: Shout out Rip Curl.
00:40:34
Speaker 2: AS Colour scores 67. Assembly Label and Princess Polly.
00:40:39
Speaker 1: I did not expect Princess Polly to be up there.
00:40:42
Speaker 2: Score 63. 63. Whoa. I was the same. Princess Polly.
00:40:45
Speaker 1: Right?
00:40:46
Speaker 2: I thought it was going to be a one for sure.
00:40:47
Speaker 1: Wow.
00:40:48
Speaker 2: So that's quite surprising. Okay. This is interesting. Nine West and Beck and Bridge score three. This has been a very common conversation around Beck and Bridge over the past few years because people think of them and they've marketed themselves.
00:41:03
Speaker 1: Where does Cook Eye sit on this list?
00:41:05
Speaker 2: Oh, my God. I don't know. We might have to look it up. But people think of Beckenbridge as like quite a, you know, like it's an up there brand. It's not cheap. It doesn't really position itself as fast fashion.
00:41:16
Speaker 1: I love some items from Beckenbridge, but then I do sometimes look at the tag and think, why the fuck am I paying $ 300 for plastic?
00:41:27
Speaker 2: 100%. And material like this with a hem that would disintegrate. Yeah. In a second.
00:41:34
Speaker 1: But I do have some Beckenbridge tops. That I've owned for years and years and years and will continue to wear.
00:41:41
Speaker 2: Bit of a lucky dip, that one. LSKD, Reebok, 2XU, score two. Wow. Sea Folly, scored one. Yep. Gander, Stussy, White Fox, Windsor Smith, Timu, all scored zero.
00:41:57
Speaker 1: The fact that those brands are in the same category as Timu.
00:42:02
Speaker 2: Like, I'm sorry. You do not want your name and Timu to be in the same sentence. Okay. You just don't. Okay. Now, this is interesting because under the comments of this Daily Oz post, the brand LSKD, which as we just heard, got a score of two commented from the Instagram account. Their comment was quite long, but basically it said something along the lines of, thanks for starting this conversation. For context on why we ranked so low, we missed the chance to take part in the ethical fashion report. As a result, our score was based on the information that's public rather than the full picture. So our promise to our community is that we'll have this info live on our website ASAP. This is a fail forward moment for us, but we welcome the tough questions. It's how we get 1% better. Okay.
00:42:45
Speaker 1: So they're taking accountability for the fact that impartate fully in the report.
00:42:48
Speaker 2: Which I really like. And people in the comments were like, wow, this is amazing. Thank you so much. Okay. And I really like the idea of failing forward because that's what all these brands who are in the low scores, that's what they need to take this as.
00:43:00
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:43:00
Speaker 2: An opportunity to fail forward.
00:43:02
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:43:02
Speaker 2: And I... I don't know.
00:43:05
Speaker 1: Someone actually asked me at Melbourne Fashion Week today, what does sustainability mean to you? How do you recognise sustainability? How do you move forward dressing sustainably and ethically? And I was honest as fucking pie. I was like, I know this might get me cancelled. I'm very aware.
00:43:25
Speaker 2: So much so that I'm going to repeat it on the podcast.
00:43:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, so much so that we're repeating it here. But Dressing ethically, dressing sustainably has never been part of my vocabulary, let alone a part of like my model ethics.
00:43:38
Speaker 2: It hasn't.
00:43:39
Speaker 1: That's just me being so fucking honest. It's not because I don't care. It's because I have never really thought about it the way the conversation is blowing up. It's never really been a part of a conversation that's happened in our family growing up. It's never like environmental factors have never been something that we've openly discussed. At school, it wasn't something that when we were in school, we, you know, environmental sustainability for us was us learning about how to compost. So learning, the education for me around fast fashion isn't there. And yes, I can educate myself. But the way I try to be sustainable in the way that I purchase items is is making sure that if I am paying for something, I know fully that this is not a one seasonal purchase and I'm wearing this multiple times. This is going to be in the closet. It's going to stay in the closet. I'm going to wear the fuck out of this shirt. I'm going to girl math the crap out of my wardrobe. And then recently, I have been looking at items and looking at what is it actually made out of to justify the $ 300, $ 400, $ 500 price tag. Because as beautiful as it is and as trendy as it might be, and a lot of things I actually don't purchase because I'm like, that's just a trend.
00:45:00
Speaker 2: Totally.
00:45:01
Speaker 1: We're not going to need that. Like at the moment, bandanas are trending. Everyone's wearing a bandana on their head. I'm going to tell you in half a year's time, the bandana is going to lose its trendiness and people aren't going to wear it for another 10 years. So like even purchasing that piece of fabric, it's hard. And it's something that we can only just work towards being better at. That's the only way I'm going to learn how to be better and read more into it. But I think that, unfortunately, money drives the world. And telling companies to stop overproducing, I don't think that it is the right method or road to take to improving overproduction.
00:45:44
Speaker 2: Totally. Is that really going to happen?
00:45:46
Speaker 1: They're not going to be able to sustain as a business and then they're going to fail, have to go into liquidation because they're not selling enough to drive their SKUs, to drive their seasons, to drive next seasons, to reinvest into the business. Like I understand how the cogs of a business works. Is it more important than sustainability in our country and our earth? Probably not. But unless it has to be.
00:46:07
Speaker 1: A global movement where all the brands take the initiative and do the same thing. Imagine though, the thought just came into my head, imagine if all brands said or were capped by government laws on like you can only produce 100 items of every SKU that you make, right? Imagine the level of, first of all, the prices will be driven up, which we don't want. But the underconsumption that will happen will start to make things more trendy again and people will start to find their own levels of fashion and people will start dressing more individually because there is a limited amount of supply of the same fucking thing.
00:46:46
Speaker 2: I think that's true.
00:46:47
Speaker 1: I think that is a really interesting concept to think about. Will we ever be able to do something like that? No, we won't, because money drives the economy, the economy lets us live, and the cogs work, so on and so forth. But if that happened... What we would find is that we wouldn't walk on High Street Armadale and go into every shop and every shop has the same fucking blue teal shirt.
00:47:09
Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay?
00:47:10
Speaker 1: This season it's teal.
00:47:11
Speaker 2: Shout out to teal.
00:47:13
Speaker 1: Last season it was chocolate.
00:47:14
Speaker 2: Yeah. And you know what I mean?
00:47:15
Speaker 1: Like everyone has the same fucking tank top, the same pair of jeans, the same this, the same that. No one can dress differently. individually now.
00:47:24
Speaker 2: I think that's so interesting what you said about like the education that you feel like you've, yeah, that has been lacking around what sustainable fashion really means. And I don't think that we need to be super nerdy when we think about sustainability in fashion. I don't think people need to go necessarily look at this report and read through what brands ethical, I mean, it's a good thing to do, but I kind of think there are general guidelines that actually Encourage sustainability and more creativity in personal style. Yeah. Because I too feel like I'm so sick of walking into shops and seeing 50 of the same thing.
00:48:01
Speaker 1: Well, we're starting to find it now with thrifting.
00:48:04
Speaker 2: Totally. And I think it's the idea of people going shopping in their own wardrobe. Yeah. Try pairing things with unusual pieces you wouldn't normally put together. I feel like it makes you more creative. It gets more life out of your wardrobe and you buy less.
00:48:17
Speaker 1: Well, my best outfits are the ones where someone's like, oh, what are you wearing to this event next Thursday night? I've got no fucking idea. I'll work it out an hour before.
00:48:24
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:48:24
Speaker 1: I don't panic over outfits.
00:48:26
Speaker 2: Diamonds are made under pressure.
00:48:27
Speaker 1: Unless it's a really formal event.
00:48:29
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
00:48:29
Speaker 1: And even then I don't really panic about outfits. I just go in. I'm like, yeah, this looks like maybe.
00:48:34
Speaker 2: Yep.
00:48:34
Speaker 1: Try it on.
00:48:34
Speaker 2: Nah, let's.
00:48:35
Speaker 1: What about this?
00:48:36
Speaker 2: Yep.
00:48:36
Speaker 1: Cool. Let's go. Totally. And that's fun. Takes the stress out of it. Anyways, that was really interesting. I really liked that.
00:48:44
Speaker 2: Me too.
00:48:45
Speaker 1: We endeavour to be better. That's what we're rounding up with. We endeavour to be better. And I think it's quite vulnerable for me to just say, hey, I'm not sustainable, but I'm trying to be.
00:48:54
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:48:54
Speaker 1: Let's do one Auntie Adele because we've been yapping for a while.
00:48:57
Speaker 2: Short and sweet Auntie Adele. Short.
00:48:59
Speaker 1: And fucking sweet and straight to the point. We're going into our Auntie Adele. I've gone on a trip with a guy that I really have no interest in romantically, but he's just a nice guy. He keeps asking me to be his partner and I'm like, no. Why don't some men understand that when a girl reaches, I can't speak today, that when a girl reaches her peace, she just wants to enjoy friendship, nothing more. Can I say something diabolical?
00:49:21
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
00:49:22
Speaker 1: I don't think friendship between a male and a female actually works.
00:49:25
Speaker 2: Really? You're one of those. I like it.
00:49:29
Speaker 1: Let's hear it. I think on a very surface level, yes. Like I grew up being friends with a lot of, lot of males, a lot of males. And I think on a surface level, yes, 100%. To go on a one-on-one solo trip with a male, nah.
00:49:43
Speaker 2: One-on-one solo, that's true. Nah, dog.
00:49:46
Speaker 1: We're not talking about going to the pub. To have a beer with a group of people.
00:49:50
Speaker 2: Like, are they in Hawaii?
00:49:52
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. On the honeymoon package or what? Like, going to the pub to see your mate, like, with a group of people. Chill, man. Of course you can have, like, female and male friends.
00:50:03
Speaker 2: No worries.
00:50:03
Speaker 1: We're going to see Gary, Larry and fucking Bob there. I know them all. We all can, like, share a beer together. They're all sick cunts, all right? But going on a one-on-one date to sit down and have dinner with Larry.
00:50:16
Speaker 2: Getting on a plane with Larry.
00:50:17
Speaker 1: Getting on a plane with Larry.
00:50:18
Speaker 2: Getting a couple's massage by the pool with Larry.
00:50:21
Speaker 1: Bob and Adele going to Hawaii together. I mean, Gary jumping into the caravan for a little drive.
00:50:30
Speaker 2: Batting his eyelashes.
00:50:31
Speaker 1: Batting his eyelashes. I don't think it's appropriate. I'm just saying there is something more there. Whether you want that friendship or not, at some point in the relationship, one side of that friendship is going to go, wow, I can imagine myself fucking them one day.
00:50:48
Speaker 2: Oh, Lord.
00:50:49
Speaker 1: And that's where it, maybe it doesn't end up there and that's fine. And it still can be quite like platonic. But that's how I feel.
00:51:00
Speaker 2: It is very interesting because this person is saying that to her it's literally 1 million percent platonic. Yeah. And she obviously is feeling frustration around the fact that she feels like, why am I able to see a man as a totally platonic relationship? And it seems like men, from her experience at least, are totally incapable.
00:51:23
Speaker 1: No, I think it goes both ways. Because I've seen instances before where the man thinks it's totally platonic and the woman doesn't. And it's just a case of like someone catching a crush. And it doesn't mean that nothing's going to happen. It doesn't mean that something's going to happen. It just means that there's a little crush there. I don't know. It's such a hard, it's such a hard conversation because like a lot of people disagree with me with this. And then they think that like you can't have a male friend or a female friend that's an opposite sex. I think that you can 100% still be friends, but to have that closeness where you're going on a one-on-one trip with them, it instigates a level of intimacy that you reserve for a partner. And I think that's what it is. I think that, like, when you go on one-on-one dates or you go on one-on-one holidays, that's a level of intimacy that I feel like, well, me in myself feel like you should reserve for, like, a romantic partner.
00:52:19
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
00:52:20
Speaker 1: Unless it's in a group situation and all of your friends are going out on this holiday and all of your, like you're in, you know, all the mates are going and it's chill, you know.
00:52:27
Speaker 2: And there are also, there are always exceptions to every rule. Like some people out there 100% would have like besties from their whole lives and it's a girl and a guy and they're besties and that's totally fine. So I guess it's just.
00:52:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are your thoughts around that?
00:52:42
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like it's case by case.
00:52:44
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:52:45
Speaker 2: Because I definitely have really good guy friends, but I guess I'm like, would I go on a one-on-one trip with them? Probably not. But why? Yeah, I don't know. That's what I mean. But why?
00:52:56
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you go on a one-on-one trip with them? Let's say you had two weeks away and you're jumping into a caravan.
00:53:01
Speaker 2: Well, I probably, to be fair, I probably don't have a guy best friend who I hang out with one-on-one in that way. But I can use my imagination to think, mate, imagine if I had a primary, if one of my best friends just happened to be a guy. I'm sure there are people out there who have that situation and it can be totally platonic. Where are they?
00:53:24
Speaker 1: If you are one of those people, please come forward.
00:53:26
Speaker 2: Please write in.
00:53:27
Speaker 1: Please write in. I'd love someone to actually debate me on this because I want to open up my viewpoint on this. I really don't want to be so traditional in my thinking because And I want to truly believe that like a male and a female can be like the bestest of friends and there be nothing there on both sides. But internally, I just know how women operate and I don't think that that's the case. And also I am coming from a point of like I also know how men operate and I might just be because I'm like fucking traumatized. I don't know. But I don't believe that like friendship in that capacity can exist without any sexual tension.
00:54:01
Speaker 2: Hmm.
00:54:02
Speaker 1: At some point of the relationship. It's not to say that it won't come to fruition. Anyways, guys, we've been yapping and yapping and yapping. We need to round this episode up.
00:54:09
Speaker 2: We do.
00:54:10
Speaker 1: Because we need to head on out the door. But thank you for joining us this week. I hope you loved it. And if you didn't, let us know. I mean, any feedback is good feedback.
00:54:18
Speaker 2: I mean.
00:54:18
Speaker 1: Oh, don't let us know. No, we want to know. We only want the positive information. If you want to submit your Auntie Adele's, please feel free to do so. We're going to be doing heaps of holiday episodes with Auntie Adele's in the future whilst we're on break. But we're slowly starting to record them, which is really interesting. They're in line to be recorded. So if you want to include your Auntie Adele dilemma and us sing it out to you, in the holiday break, please submit it. It will be in the show notes. Other than that, we love you and we will see you next week.
00:54:45
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:54:46
Speaker 1: Bye.
