I CAN'T? Watch This...

WEBVTT
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Welcome to O'Talkin with Dave.
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Coming to you from Sin City where what happens in Vegas is talked about everywhere.
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Put your hands together for the pastor of positivity whose glass is always at least half full.
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Here's Dave.
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But a part of the deal that gets me, and it's related to the people shouldn't on you.
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You gotta be shouldn't me, is when people tell me I can't do something.
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Come on.
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That's not good.
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And I'll get into my psychosis and how I'm a little different than most people.
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I'm probably more similar than to to people than I think sometimes.
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But there's just something that grates me when somebody says, you can't do that.
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Really?
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Can't?
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That's pretty definitive.
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Think about it.
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Before I can accept can't, I need some sort of clarification here.
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Do you mean I am physically incapable?
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Do you mean it's illegal?
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Um hey, first of all, I'm a rule follower.
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I will bend it like a pretzel, but I don't break rules.
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I don't break laws.
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And if I do, it's maybe I go s 72 and a 65, or maybe I don't pay for parking all the time.
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I roll the dice.
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But when the fine is$25 and it's$35 to park, it's a victimless crime.
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But all in all, I'm a rule follower.
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So if it's illegal, I'm not gonna do it.
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So when you tell me you can't, does that mean it's impossible?
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It can't be done?
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Or do you mean you don't think I should?
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You don't think I should.
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Which, let's do a full disclosure here.
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There are some I was talking to someone earlier today and told them the topic of this.
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And they looked at me and they said, I bet sometimes you do it even if you don't want to do it, if somebody tells you you can't.
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And uh-oh, that person knows me pretty well.
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I'm not bragging about it, it's just part of it.
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Just don't tell me I can't.
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Maybe you're saying I don't think you should, or I wouldn't.
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Okay, I got that.
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That's cool.
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Or people don't usually do that, or that's not normal.
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I'm comfortable, I would be uncomfortable if you did that.
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All right.
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I'm afraid to do that myself, so watching you do it makes me nervous.
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Okay, that's now we're getting somewhere.
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Those are legitimate, but none of them hits in my soul like you can't.
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Yeah.
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I think we've become way too casual about turning our opinions into other people's limitations.
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And vice versa.
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Their limitations, that doesn't mean it's our limitations.
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Society does it, your family does it, friends do it, employers definitely do it.
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Oh, churches, that's what they do for a living a lot of times, please.
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Communities, even entire communities, will do this.
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Your bubble, your social structure.
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Sometimes people who love us, air quotes, they do it to us the most.
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And it's honest.
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They're not trying to hurt us, sometimes they're trying to protect us.
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In my case, I know that's the situation.
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Sometimes they're protecting themselves.
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Sometimes they're building an enclosure around us.
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They're projecting their experience on ours.
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And sometimes they're just repeating something somebody else told them years ago.
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Sound familiar?
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Yeah.
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And sometimes they're just full of crap.
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What do you mean I can't?
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Thank you very much.
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Let's proceed.
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There's, I call it the shellfish test.
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And this is very near and dear to my heart.
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It's a hideous example, but I'll tell it.
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I have a shellfish allergy.
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I was fine till mid-30s.
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My two favorite things on earth to eat, and I like to eat.
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But at that time, fried shrimp or crab.
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Oh, crab claws.
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I could the fried crab claws like in the Gulf.
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My mouth.
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I need a napkin, please.
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Fantastic.
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And so I went to this restaurant, a corporate event, so I could eat as much as I wanted and didn't have to pay for it.
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But they had seafood crepes.
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And it was delicious.
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It was these, you know what a crepe is.
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Or to you, was it Slavic people?
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A crep?
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A crep?
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I don't know.
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Help me out.
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Email me.
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I'm sure some of you are.
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And no Randy in Corbin, Kentucky.
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You don't know how to say crepe or crep.
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But anyway, they rolled these delicious shellfish, shrimp, and crab and some sort of delicious sauce, rolled them in these things and put a sauce on.
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I probably ate, I don't know, 30.
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They were so good.
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And all of a sudden, I couldn't breathe.
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My lips were I was nutty professor in there.
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I went to the emergency room and they they were about to they're about to do a trach on me.
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I was so swollen I couldn't bend my arms.
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And I never had this happen before.
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And afterwards, okay, all right.
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I was tested, yeah.
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I'm allergic to everything.
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That's why I tell people, look, I'm not fat, I'm just swollen.
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I'm allergic to everything.
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But the doctors told me you can't have shellfish anymore.
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You can't.
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You can't have shellfish.
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It can kill you.
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Shellfish or white fish?
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Those two things.
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Dave, you can't have it.
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Ah, no.
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I love it.
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Technically, I can.
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It just might kill me.
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So don't tell me I can't.
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But I was in bad shape.
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So I didn't eat shellfish for years.
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And then I met an allergist just at a dinner at one time.
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I didn't even know what he did.
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And I talked about, no, allergist?
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Oh, okay.
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Yes.
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Supposedly world-renowned.
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He said, people who get the who develop allergies late in life, which is 36, you never was allergic to it before, sometimes it goes away.
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And I've got epipins with me at all times.
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Occasionally, and this is with peanut allergies in kids too.
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Take a bite.
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Because I have very drastic symptoms if it's a problem.
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And so I started to.
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I'd take a bite here or there.
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Sometimes my ears would itch, sometimes my lips would swell, sometimes I'd have some reaction.
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But over time I didn't.
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And now, with moderation, I can have shellfish.
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I can have crab within moderation.
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I pay attention to the sign.
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So don't even tell me I can't have shrimp.
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I can pick up the shrimp.
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I can dip the shrimp.
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I can chew the shrimp.
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I can swallow the shrimp.
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I can eat the shrimp.
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Now, should I?
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Some would say no.
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Is it worth it?
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To me it is.
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Within reason.
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The whole thing, the whole question.
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Should I eat the shrimp?
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Eh.
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Eating it could trigger something serious, including anaphylaxis, I've heard.
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Carrying an epipin doesn't turn a shrimp cocktail into a good idea.
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Epinephrine is emergency treatment for an allergic reaction, not permission to deliberately eat something you're allergic to.
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Oh, I hear all that.
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All right.
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Can allergies change over time?
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Absolutely.
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Sometimes an allergist is right, and this one was.
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Should I conduct my own personal medical research with seafood and butter?
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Eh, probably not.
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However, even in that almost absolute of you can't eat shellfish now, eh, you probably shouldn't eat shellfish because the possible consequences are considerably worse than missing an appetizer.
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See the difference?
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This is part of my point, and it's I think it's salient.
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Can't describes a capability.
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Shouldn't describes wisdom.
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Wouldn't describes a preference.
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Those are three distinctions.
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Three words are they're not really interchangeable.
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And yet we interchange them constantly.
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Can't, shouldn't, wouldn't.
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Okay.
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Let's talk about that a minute.
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Let's clean this up a little bit.
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So can't, can't means there is a barrier, an actual barrier.
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I can't breathe underwater without equipment.
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I think that's safe to say.
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Can't do it.
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I don't have gills.
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I can't jump off my roof, flap my arms, and fly across to the next county.
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I can't do that.
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Look at these arms.
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They're formidable, but then look at this trunk.
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Not gonna happen.
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I can't withdraw$12 million from my bank account that contains$147.32.
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Can't do that.
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The laws of physics, biology, and banking are now involved.
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So true.
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That's a can't.
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Let's talk about shouldn't.
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Shouldn't means you could do it.
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But there's probably a little legitimate reason to reconsider.
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Now I'm not should, I'm not shooting on anybody.
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I'm shooting on myself because sometimes, eh, I could.
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But should I?
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My Popo, years ago.
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I remember someone was talking to him and they were talking about buying something, and it was one of my cousins, and Popo didn't give a lot of advice because he didn't want to interfere.
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But this person said, I can afford it.
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And he Popo said something I never forgot.
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He didn't say it to me, but I heard it.
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He said, just because you can doesn't mean you should.
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Who?
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So that shouldn't.
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Yeah, I could, but maybe I shouldn't.
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I can text my boss at 2.30 in the morning and tell him exactly what I think of the quarterly meeting we had earlier today.
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I could.
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Probably shouldn't.
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I can eat shellfish now.
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Oh, within reason, my, but honestly, I probably shouldn't.
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Especially without an EpiPen.
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I can spend my entire retirement buying buying lottery tickets or commemorative plates.
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Or just go to I live in Vegas, man.
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I can go put it all on black or red.
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I can.
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Yeah.
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Probably shouldn't deserve consideration because it asks about consequences.
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And that's very important.
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It's always important.
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Sometimes we're young enough to we, eh, consequences, we can recover.
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Yeah.
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But that's wisdom.
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You think about the consequences.
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Alright.
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I probably shouldn't do this.
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Wisdom.
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Now, wouldn't, that is a different threshold for different people.
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Wouldn't is entirely different.
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Wouldn't means that's not what I would choose.
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Alright.
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You do that with kids, with adult kids.
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You want to give advice, but then again, you don't want to, a lot of advice you give, some just my kids don't do this, but a lot will just go the other way.
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I could be that accused of being that way in the past.
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That's not what I choose.
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Okay, that's fine.
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But your wouldn't doesn't mean or turn into someone else's can't, and vice versa.
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You wouldn't move across the country at 60 if you've lived in one place your whole life.
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You wouldn't do that.
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Okay.
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I would.
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I d I haven't at 60, but I moved again.
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At 58, 59.
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Yeah.
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Pulled up stakes and moved.
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Wouldn't start a new career.
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Fine.
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I would.
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I have.
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I will.
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Wouldn't walk out onto a stage in front of all these people.
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Whew.
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There were times when I wouldn't.
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Now I can't help it.
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I love it.
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But see, that wouldn't is from somebody who can't see themselves doing it.
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It's different for different people.
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You wouldn't get a tattoo?
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Yeah, me either.
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Dwing, I got one.
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Me and my daughter.
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Yeah.
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If you wouldn't, okay.
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Well, don't get one.
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That's fine.
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I get it.
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I didn't have one for a long time.
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So for 60 years I didn't have a tattoo.
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All of a sudden I had one.
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I didn't put that on anybody else.
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Close.
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A lot of people wouldn't wear what I wear.
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I am I am 61 and most of the time I'm in shorts, a t-shirt, and flip-flops.
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Or less.
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No, I'm not Donald Duckingett.
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However, that's what I do.
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A lot of people don't do that.
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A lot of people have never seen me.
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A lot of people have never seen me without a sports coat on.
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Now that shocks a lot of you who know me, because you've never seen me with one on.
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Yeah.
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Alright.
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The thing is, you don't have to.
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If you wouldn't do it, okay, don't.
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You don't have to.
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But that doesn't instigate rules in my world about what I can and can't do.
00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:43.600
I wouldn't do that.
00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:44.639
You shouldn't do that.
00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:46.639
Next thing you can't.
00:13:47.120 --> 00:13:48.000
BS.
00:13:48.639 --> 00:13:54.320
That's quite a promotion from I wouldn't to I shouldn't to can't.
00:13:54.879 --> 00:13:57.679
But we accept other people's limitations.
00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:05.120
And I think that's what creates that fence around us that we're in bondage to other people's limitations.
00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:07.679
And a lot of people times we don't even realize it.
00:14:07.919 --> 00:14:09.600
And here's where it gets serious.
00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:12.879
We are deeply social creatures.
00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:15.440
Belonging matters to us.
00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:17.919
It's important to belong.
00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:20.879
Approval matters, and rejection hurts.
00:14:21.120 --> 00:14:21.840
It does.
00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:23.120
I don't care how old you are.
00:14:23.200 --> 00:14:33.519
If you want to belong to something or you want somebody to be your friend or a partner or a I don't know, partner in crime, and you get rejected, that hurts because you want it.
00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:35.120
I don't care how old or young you are.
00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:47.279
When enough people tell us something isn't appropriate or realistic or possible, we begin to internalize that.
00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:49.360
And there's research on this.
00:14:49.679 --> 00:14:53.679
Aging makes this particularly interesting.
00:14:54.000 --> 00:15:02.799
Studies have found that stereotypes about aging can affect how people actually perceive their own aging.
00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:18.240
One famous, famous was 660 adults that are over 50, those with more positive perceptions of their own age lived an average of seven and a half years longer.
00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:22.320
Yeah, I'm 61 and I'm man, I feel 30.
00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:31.440
Not necessarily physically, but as far as what I can do, what's in front of me, limitations, all of that.
00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:40.000
But people with a negative perception, these are the people who have all the health problems, who miss out, who don't take opportunities.
00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:41.919
Now I live with a pretty small bubble.
00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:48.000
I got a small bubble in Vegas, and then I've got a small bubble in Southern California.
00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:49.360
Two small bubbles.
00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:53.440
Some people's bubble is right here between their ears.
00:15:54.240 --> 00:16:01.759
They can't do it because someone said you can't, you shouldn't, they wouldn't, and it all means they can't.
00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:03.200
Think about that.
00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:07.840
I'm not suggesting optimism will make you immortal.
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:08.159
No.
00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:09.600
If so, I'm there.
00:16:09.840 --> 00:16:13.840
I'm saying stories we accept about ourselves matter.
00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:20.240
Especially people my age don't do that.
00:16:21.279 --> 00:16:25.600
You're saying that to yourself, or someone says people our age just don't do that.
00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:31.360
According to who or whom for you, English police.
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:37.840
Bonnie Ware, she spent years caring for other people near the end of their lives.
00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:46.799
And most commonly, and I've said this over and over, people regret something that they didn't do.
00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:49.120
They didn't have the courage to do it.
00:16:49.279 --> 00:16:52.159
And that's what they regretted, not the crazy stuff they did.
00:16:53.360 --> 00:16:56.879
It's the things they didn't do because they didn't have the courage.
00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:00.159
They didn't have the courage because they thought they can't.
00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:06.640
Because either they talked themselves into that or somebody said they shouldn't, they couldn't, they wouldn't.
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:08.559
That's powerful.
00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:11.039
And we know that ahead of time.
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:16.160
It's not what we did, it's what we didn't do that grates on us and regret.
00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:20.079
And you get to the point to where you really physically can't do some things.
00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:22.079
That's rough, man.
00:17:24.240 --> 00:17:31.519
Very few people arrive at the end and say, I wish I'd spent more time worrying about what everybody thought.
00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:34.240
Oh.
00:17:35.759 --> 00:17:38.559
I spent I try to think last time I worried about that.
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:41.839
Okay, I can't nothing comes to me.
00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:43.519
So let's talk about a few things.
00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:47.599
Ten things that we have absolute permission to do.
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:52.319
Yes, society, people, all these people that have told us we can't.
00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:54.079
Okay, we can do these things.
00:17:54.160 --> 00:17:55.119
They're happy.
00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:56.000
Yeah.
00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:57.839
They're happy with some of these things.
00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:00.720
Society spends enough time telling us what we're supposed to do.
00:18:00.799 --> 00:18:03.759
So let's offer ten things that you are allowed to do.
00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:04.559
How about that?
00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:06.319
And then we're going to go the other way.
00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:08.720
You're allowed to change your mind.
00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:10.000
How about that?
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:14.720
New information is allowed to produce a new conclusion in most cases.
00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:16.240
That's not a weakness.
00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:17.279
That's thinking.
00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:19.599
That's a free-thinking person.
00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:22.480
Sorry, that was a little unprofessional.
00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:23.440
So that's it.
00:18:23.519 --> 00:18:24.799
You're allowed to change your mind.
00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:28.799
There may be judgment, there may be questions over what we're allowed to do that.
00:18:28.960 --> 00:18:30.799
Also, you're allowed to start over.
00:18:31.599 --> 00:18:34.480
At 25, at 45, at 65.
00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:37.279
My dad started some new stuff at 85.
00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:38.319
How about that?
00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:45.759
There's no expiration date printed on reinventing yourself.
00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:49.359
Now, the specifics is where people are going to dig in.
00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:52.640
Another one, you are allowed to outgrow people.
00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:56.559
We give you the right to outgrow people.
00:18:56.720 --> 00:19:02.960
You can appreciate what a relationship once was without pretending it still works.
00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:08.240
I can give very specific examples, but people would know I'm talking about them.
00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:15.279
I went back to my high school reunion, and all but I think three of us lived within 50 miles of where we graduated high school.
00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:16.400
That's okay.
00:19:16.559 --> 00:19:17.440
That's great.
00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:22.559
My wife and I at the time and I decided we, hey, we're the weird ones.
00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:24.160
It's not them, it's us.
00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:27.279
Sometimes you just don't fit in at home anymore.
00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:28.160
It's okay.
00:19:28.240 --> 00:19:30.799
You're allowed to outgrow people and places.
00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:33.359
And then the fourth one, you're allowed to leave.
00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:34.480
How about that?
00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:38.640
A town, a company, a profession, a relationship, a philosophy.
00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:39.839
I changed my mind.
00:19:40.079 --> 00:19:43.039
I've evolved on some philosophies over the years.
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:50.720
I like this one better, by the way.
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:53.599
Also, you're allowed to leave.
00:19:53.680 --> 00:19:55.279
You're also allowed to stay.
00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:57.519
You're allowed to stay.
00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:04.880
Sometimes courage means leaving, but sometimes courage means remaining when everybody expects you to run.
00:20:06.079 --> 00:20:06.880
Not quitting.
00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:08.160
I'm gonna stick this out.
00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:09.680
I'm not even gonna stop.
00:20:10.720 --> 00:20:11.440
I got resolve.
00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:12.720
I'm gonna persevere.
00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:14.000
That's your decision.
00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:15.759
You're allowed to make that one.
00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:19.279
Love this one.
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:24.480
You are allowed to look ridiculous while you're learning.
00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:27.279
I am the poster child for that one.
00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:32.160
Nobody becomes good without first spending some time being terrible.
00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:34.799
You want to here's a great example of this.
00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:37.279
I'm I've never been a pro roller skater.
00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:38.319
Shocker.
00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:45.839
Last year on my 60th birthday, the whole fam bam, kids, their significant others, and the whole gang.
00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:48.640
We ended up at a skating rink midday.
00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:55.519
And I hadn't skated in 50 years?
00:20:55.759 --> 00:20:56.640
How about that?
00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:57.839
It's not that hard.
00:20:57.920 --> 00:20:58.880
These are roller skates.
00:20:58.960 --> 00:20:59.599
It's not in line.
00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:02.799
I get on and man, I am struggle busing it.
00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:04.799
Nothing feels normal.
00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:06.640
After a little while, I can go a little bit.
00:21:06.720 --> 00:21:08.240
And then you get your stride.
00:21:08.319 --> 00:21:18.480
And you don't really know you're old until you fall on roller skates as a 60-year-old, and people come out of the woodwork to help you because that's a traumatic thing for everybody else.
00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:24.319
However, what I'm saying is, you're allowed to look ridiculous until you get your feet under you.
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:26.000
That's true with sports.
00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:30.559
My goodness, if I started playing tennis right now, I would look ridiculous for a while.
00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:39.359
If you're learning something for the first time, you're allowed to look ridiculous until you get that learning curve squared away.
00:21:39.680 --> 00:21:40.960
Same way with life.
00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:46.799
You're allowed to stay, you're allowed to leave, you're allowed to look ridiculous while you're learning.
00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:48.559
It's allowed.
00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:53.200
Also, you're allowed to disagree.
00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:57.920
This is one that some people have such trouble with this.
00:21:58.160 --> 00:21:59.759
Disagreement done correctly is not.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:01.200
Disrespect.
00:22:02.400 --> 00:22:15.359
You don't owe anybody an intellectual surrender just because they have some influence, or you love them, or your friends, or you go to the same church, or your kids play ball together, or whatever.
00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:18.319
You're not gonna go to hell or get beat up in the parking lot.
00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:20.160
So you're allowed to disagree.
00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:22.079
I see that differently.
00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:23.680
You don't have to talk about it.
00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:28.160
But if you don't, you'll talk about it again.
00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:33.519
Also, you're allowed to be happy in ways other people don't understand.
00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:40.559
Not everything needs outside approval.
00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:44.880
I like doing things that very few other people like doing.
00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:52.160
Some things I do that every day for the last week, I think it's been a week, I've gone for a walk on the beach.
00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:55.599
I don't see people doing everything all over.
00:22:55.680 --> 00:22:57.279
They're walking, their dogs do anything.
00:22:57.359 --> 00:23:02.480
I'm one day I forgot my hat and just put my t-shirt up, look like a chic of some sort.
00:23:02.640 --> 00:23:03.839
But I do it a little differently.
00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:06.400
I don't have headphones in, I want to hear the waves.
00:23:06.640 --> 00:23:09.519
I'm speaking to people, I'm doing whatever, I'm smiling.
00:23:10.079 --> 00:23:12.880
But I'm looking, and there's nobody like me out there.
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:14.079
Not really.
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:16.240
And that's okay.
00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:28.079
That's the same way if I were to do some new endeavor, some new sport, some new skill, sell some new product, coach some new team.
00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:37.119
I'm allowed to do things differently and be happy about it when other people don't understand it.
00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:42.640
Also, you're allowed to become somebody totally different.
00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:49.200
Growth creates inconsistency sometimes, even with your old self.
00:23:50.480 --> 00:23:51.440
It does.
00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:53.279
That's the point, isn't it?
00:23:54.559 --> 00:23:55.680
It's alright.
00:23:57.200 --> 00:23:58.000
It's alright.
00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:00.079
Don't regret not doing something.
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:04.319
Then the last one I'll hit on things you can do, and you can tell I'm being a little facetious.
00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:05.680
Of course we can do these.
00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:08.480
You're allowed to want more.
00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:10.640
More place.
00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:12.799
May I have more, please?
00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:18.400
More adventure, more love, more challenge, more learning, more laughter, please.
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:22.160
More laughter, more purpose, more life.
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:28.400
Wanting more doesn't necessarily mean you're ungrateful for what you've got.
00:24:28.640 --> 00:24:29.599
I want more.
00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:31.519
I want more bacon.
00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:32.720
I want more cheesecake.
00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:34.000
I want more time.
00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:36.400
I want more interaction.
00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:37.920
I want more love.
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:40.559
I want more silence.
00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:43.920
I want more shared moments in silence.
00:24:44.079 --> 00:24:46.799
I want more hugs that linger.
00:24:48.960 --> 00:24:54.799
Sometimes gratitude for life is exactly why you want more.
00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:57.440
You're not being greedy.
00:24:58.240 --> 00:24:59.359
Thank you very much.
00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:01.359
You can do all of these things.
00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:09.599
So let me tell you 20 things that I either have been recently, or I know I have been in my life.
00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:11.440
I've been told I can't do.
00:25:11.599 --> 00:25:15.440
I started to name this 20 things I can't do that I do every day.
00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:18.079
I thought that's a little snotty.
00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:23.519
The 20 things I can't do, I keep doing anyway.
00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:25.359
I'm not talking about rebellion.
00:25:25.440 --> 00:25:27.279
I'm not talking about breaking rules.
00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:30.960
I'm not trying to prove how edgy I am.
00:25:31.519 --> 00:25:37.839
I'm talking about refusing to confuse my circumstances with my capabilities.
00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:41.680
Location doesn't decide it.
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:44.319
Vocation doesn't decide it.
00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:47.279
My upbringing sure hasn't decided it.
00:25:47.920 --> 00:25:48.880
Education.
00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:52.319
I guess I'm educated, but they hadn't decided anything.
00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:57.359
And my age, trust me, anybody that knows me, I do not act my age.
00:25:58.000 --> 00:25:59.759
And that's not a negative.
00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:04.240
And somebody else's comfort level sure as hell doesn't decide what I do.
00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:07.920
That might even push me the other way.
00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:08.880
So let's talk.
00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:09.599
I've got a few.
00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:10.319
I got 20.
00:26:10.400 --> 00:26:10.880
Don't worry.
00:26:11.039 --> 00:26:12.240
It'll go by quick.
00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:12.960
Quickly.
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:18.079
So I've been told this over and over since I was probably 55.
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:21.279
You can't you can't start over at this age.
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:25.519
Their reason is because starting over supposedly belongs to young people.
00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:27.200
Only young people can do that.
00:26:27.359 --> 00:26:29.680
My reaction is, what are you what?
00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:34.400
My age gives me something younger, younger me didn't have.
00:26:34.720 --> 00:26:35.920
I got more experience.
00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:36.880
I got more money.
00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:38.960
I've screwed up more things.
00:26:39.440 --> 00:26:43.039
I've survived more of those screw ups and other things.
00:26:43.359 --> 00:26:45.359
I've learned over time.
00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:47.119
I'm not starting from scratch.
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:48.880
I'm starting from experience.
00:26:49.039 --> 00:26:52.480
And starting over can be, oh, I've done all of these.
00:26:52.640 --> 00:27:02.480
A move, starting from scratch, a new relationship, a new job, a new city, a new town, new friends.
00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:04.799
I kept the old ones, most of them.
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:06.880
But all of that, it's starting over.
00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:08.880
I love new things.
00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:11.359
So don't tell me I can't.
00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:13.519
Don't tell me I can't.
00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:16.480
Because I have, and I do, and I will.
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:20.480
Second one, you can't change careers now.
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:23.119
What?
00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:23.599
Why?
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:27.359
The thing is that I've already spent decades becoming something else.
00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:28.000
Okay.
00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:30.160
It can be totally new.
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:31.519
It can be a new direction.
00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:36.720
I can take the left here and still use what I've got, but apply it to something else.
00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:40.880
I am more capable of starting a new career now than I've ever been.
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:43.680
Because I can bring all that with me.
00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:48.319
My career history is not a prison sentence.
00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:51.359
It's not a box that I'm put in.
00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:54.319
Skills transfer, relationships.
00:27:54.480 --> 00:28:02.400
I can tell you, I've done my last three positions, have been related in a way but been totally different in helping out organizations.
00:28:02.559 --> 00:28:05.440
And then I still do the O talks as well.
00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:12.000
But I can say the same thing to polar opposite groups, and it applies.
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:20.799
Relationships transfer, judgment transfers, work ethic is consistently beneficial.
00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:22.000
It pays off.
00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:25.359
I may change industries, but I don't lose me.
00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:28.079
I'm there too, so don't tell me that.
00:28:28.640 --> 00:28:30.160
I can't change careers.
00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:31.119
I can.
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:32.079
I shall.
00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:32.720
I will.
00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:33.599
I do.
00:28:35.119 --> 00:28:38.480
How about you can't compete with people half your age.
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:39.519
Oh my.
00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:46.559
Just because they're younger, faster, quicker, more technologically savvy.
00:28:48.400 --> 00:28:49.680
Give me a break.
00:28:49.920 --> 00:28:51.680
My reaction is good.
00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:53.759
Bring it on.
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:58.799
When I was in my 20s, I was competing with people 15, 20 years older than me.
00:28:59.039 --> 00:29:00.880
And I was a young buck.
00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:05.839
Then I got in 15 to 20 years later, now I'm one of the dudes.
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:08.559
And now I've got to outperform everybody.
00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:14.000
I've got to maintain and then outperform to still stay on top for the next 20 years.
00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:17.599
Now, most people I work with are 15 to 20 years younger.
00:29:17.759 --> 00:29:19.200
I can identify with that.
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:20.160
Some 40 years younger.
00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:22.960
Look at that young buck I was 40 years ago.
00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:24.960
I can't compete with them.
00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:26.079
Are you kidding me?
00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:28.640
That's what gets me up in the morning.
00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:38.400
There's nothing makes me happier than to outwork them, to outproduce them, to outthink them, and then help them get better.
00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:42.000
That gets me going every day.
00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:43.759
I go out with my kids.
00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:49.039
Nothing makes me happier than to outlast them and then cry, Uncle, Dad, can we go home?
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:53.839
I can't keep up with people half my age.
00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:54.720
I can.
00:29:55.039 --> 00:29:55.839
I shall.
00:29:56.160 --> 00:29:56.799
I do.
00:29:57.279 --> 00:29:57.920
I will.
00:29:58.480 --> 00:30:00.480
Bite me, I can't.
00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:02.240
Then I love this one.
00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:03.519
You can't wear that.
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:05.519
You can't wear that.
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:10.480
Apparently my age has violated the manufacturer's suggested demographic.
00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:11.200
Please.
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:12.160
Now I'll be honest.
00:30:12.319 --> 00:30:13.599
I told you what I wear most of the time.
00:30:13.839 --> 00:30:15.039
I'll wear that no matter what.
00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:26.480
I'll go out with, I'll meet friends we haven't seen in a while, and we'll go out and they show up in normal 60-year-old attire, and I show up in my flops and t-shirt.
00:30:27.519 --> 00:30:30.480
I can know how to dress, but man, let's be comfortable.
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:31.359
Let's go.
00:30:31.519 --> 00:30:35.200
They're sweating through their long sleeve, long pants.
00:30:36.079 --> 00:30:39.680
I'm partying like a Kennedy, comfortable and ready to go.
00:30:39.839 --> 00:30:43.200
This is not granimal's time just because I'm old.
00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:44.319
Give me a break.
00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:46.160
I don't have any orthopedic shoes.
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:49.200
Sanook doesn't make orthopedic flip-flops.
00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:51.759
But I can't wear that.
00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:55.839
Trust me, I wear a lot of stuff that some people would call inappropriate.
00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:57.039
I think it's funny.
00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:00.000
It most of the stuff I wear that's weird.
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:09.839
I was at a checkout stand at a Sprouts earlier today, and I had a shirt on, and it had a look a rooster with a skeleton on it with a sword.
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:13.200
And this lady was just, she was older than me, just looking at my shirt.
00:31:13.279 --> 00:31:15.440
She said, What does your shirt mean?
00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:18.400
And I was like, Huh, I didn't know what shirt I had on.
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:20.880
So I looked down and I can almost look at what I got on right now.
00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:22.559
I don't know what that means either.
00:31:22.799 --> 00:31:25.119
But I said, ma'am, I really don't know.
00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:30.079
She said, Is that a skeleton on a chicken with a sword?
00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:31.920
And I said, To you, it's a chicken.
00:31:32.079 --> 00:31:33.519
To me, it's a rooster.
00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:36.720
And there's another word for rooster that I use, but I'm not gonna say it.
00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:41.680
And I said, I quit asking why about my clothes a long time ago.
00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:45.200
And that was her version of, should you be wearing that?
00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:46.799
Or you can't wear something like that.
00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:49.599
I can, I do, I will, I shall.
00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:52.480
I heard this one.
00:31:52.640 --> 00:31:54.160
I was thinking about tattoos.
00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:56.960
Me and Victoria were gonna get tattoos.
00:31:57.279 --> 00:31:58.079
And so we did.
00:31:58.240 --> 00:31:58.799
There it is.
00:31:58.960 --> 00:31:59.680
Two dice.
00:31:59.839 --> 00:32:01.680
All the dice, the numbers mean something.
00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:04.720
Birthdays for me and her and my son Will.
00:32:05.039 --> 00:32:06.640
And so there's some meaning to it.
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:07.359
But it's Vegas.
00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:08.880
We love Vegas, so we got something.
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:09.599
I don't hide it.
00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:13.119
Sometimes I wear a watch and it covers it up, but not on purpose.
00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:16.480
But when I was talking about it, man, I was thinking about all sorts of stuff.
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:21.839
I love skulls, I like bats, I like dragons, and I was thinking of all this stuff.
00:32:21.920 --> 00:32:23.839
And of course, I get obsessed with something.
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:27.359
I was thinking a full back tattoo, maybe a couple of sleeves.
00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:29.279
One across my forehead.
00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:31.680
I could have got the last supper across my forehead.
00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:33.200
I think I got enough room for it.
00:32:33.359 --> 00:32:38.160
But I did all of that, and I'm and when I was talking about it, I socialized it a little bit just for fun.
00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:41.279
And went, oh, you can't you don't have any yet?
00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:41.759
No.
00:32:42.160 --> 00:32:44.160
You can't get a tattoo at your age.
00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:45.359
What about your skin?
00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:47.039
What about what?
00:32:48.559 --> 00:32:49.200
What?
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:53.759
My skin, it still works.
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:56.000
And so I ended up backing off to that.
00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:57.119
Hey, I may get more.
00:32:57.200 --> 00:32:57.759
I don't know.
00:32:57.920 --> 00:32:59.440
But don't tell me I can't.
00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:00.799
I'm still my body.
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:02.400
I can do whatever I want with it.
00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:03.519
I don't get any piercings.
00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:06.160
I'm not going to get a Prince Albert or a Jacob Sladder.
00:33:06.240 --> 00:33:08.079
I don't think I'm going to do that, but not because.
00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:12.559
Please don't tell me I can't have one of those because it I don't want one of those.
00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:14.880
But the thing of tattoos, I did.
00:33:15.039 --> 00:33:16.400
I can, I will, I shall.
00:33:16.480 --> 00:33:18.240
Don't tell me I can't.
00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:20.799
Oh, and I get this all the time.
00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:30.240
They don't usually say can't because they know I'm so so into this genre, but I like heavy music.
00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:32.400
And the looks I get.
00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:33.599
I like all kinds of music.
00:33:33.680 --> 00:33:34.799
I love yacht rock.
00:33:34.960 --> 00:33:42.079
I'm with, I got some relationships now where it's like everything from Big Band to Disney to you name it.
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:43.200
I love it all.
00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:48.000
But man, I get in a pit and I love the heavy stuff.
00:33:48.880 --> 00:33:49.839
Heavy stuff.
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:53.599
My son has turned me on to more groups than I'll ever turn him on to.
00:33:53.680 --> 00:33:54.240
I love it.
00:33:54.400 --> 00:33:55.359
It's not my generation.
00:33:55.519 --> 00:33:55.839
Huh.
00:33:56.000 --> 00:34:02.319
Yeah, most of the shows we go to, I look like the bookkeeper, the owner, or maybe somebody in char doing an audit for security.
00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:03.359
I don't know.
00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:06.799
My Spotify, you're gonna hear everything on it.
00:34:07.039 --> 00:34:11.119
And some of it you do you'll hate it.
00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:25.039
Yeah, but Spotify last I checked did not when I downloaded some 200 stab wounds or hate breed or cannibal corpse or any of those, it didn't ask for my birth date.
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:29.199
There weren't age restrictions, so I can listen to it.
00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:38.079
If a song moves me, if it wakes me up, it raises my heartbeat, makes me laugh, makes me want to growl, giddy up.
00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:39.119
It's mine.
00:34:39.840 --> 00:34:42.960
I don't care how old I am, don't tell me I can't listen to that.
00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:43.760
I can't.
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:44.559
I will.
00:34:44.800 --> 00:34:45.760
I shall.
00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:51.360
I may change my bumper music here to something guttural, just to piss some of you off.
00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:58.719
What about you can't be friends with single people or people that much younger than you?
00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:00.800
Why not?
00:35:01.599 --> 00:35:02.880
I have a lot to offer them.
00:35:03.039 --> 00:35:04.239
They have a lot to offer me.
00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:05.360
I want to hear it.
00:35:05.599 --> 00:35:09.840
Sometimes that's exactly why the friendship is valuable.
00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:11.119
Why do I do it?
00:35:11.199 --> 00:35:14.719
I want people around me who know things that I don't know.
00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:16.320
Yeah, I've been 30 before.
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:19.440
My kids are in their 30s, but I'm not 30 now.
00:35:19.519 --> 00:35:21.440
And it's different then now than it is then.
00:35:21.599 --> 00:35:26.000
Imagine being 30 in 2026 versus 30 and 96.
00:35:26.239 --> 00:35:29.440
I know what 30 and 96 was like.
00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:31.519
You share it.
00:35:31.679 --> 00:35:33.360
You can teach, you can learn.
00:35:33.519 --> 00:35:36.639
I want people around me who know things I don't know.
00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:38.960
That means older people.
00:35:39.119 --> 00:35:41.920
It's getting harder to find the older people.
00:35:42.400 --> 00:35:44.559
Younger people, different people.
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:47.119
That's one of the beauties of moving out west.
00:35:47.360 --> 00:35:50.239
I can, my goodness, I can be in a meeting.
00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:52.000
It's like a United Nations meeting.
00:35:52.159 --> 00:35:54.800
Every race, creed, and color.
00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:55.840
I love it.
00:35:56.000 --> 00:36:02.000
Wisdom isn't according to your birth year or your generation.
00:36:02.239 --> 00:36:04.400
I can't hang around people younger than me.
00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:06.480
I can and I will.
00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:07.679
And I do.
00:36:08.320 --> 00:36:12.719
What about you can't love somebody people don't expect you to love?
00:36:12.960 --> 00:36:14.559
Now, I got a divorce last year.
00:36:14.639 --> 00:36:15.280
I talked about it.
00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:17.039
I'm very open about it.
00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:31.599
And so I get back out there, and wow, people have a lot of opinions around who and the age group and the time frame and how quickly you can, and you gotta wait a certain period of time.
00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:32.880
And oh, already?
00:36:33.039 --> 00:36:34.400
Or ooh, what about this?
00:36:34.480 --> 00:36:35.360
Or ooh.
00:36:36.400 --> 00:36:38.800
Can you imagine my reaction to that?
00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:40.000
Why?
00:36:40.159 --> 00:36:40.639
Why can't I?
00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:45.840
Because I'm divorced or because I'm at the time I was 60, I'm 61, now it's the background, the history.
00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:47.440
What are you what is your criteria?
00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:48.960
Geography?
00:36:49.519 --> 00:36:50.719
Social expectation?
00:36:50.880 --> 00:36:51.840
What is this?
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:56.400
Are the critics joining the relationship?
00:36:56.559 --> 00:36:58.239
Are you moving in with me?
00:36:58.559 --> 00:36:59.599
Have I got oversight?
00:36:59.679 --> 00:37:01.280
Have I got a chaperone?
00:37:02.159 --> 00:37:04.000
Tell me I can't.
00:37:05.440 --> 00:37:07.599
Tell me I can't.
00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:10.559
Because what I'm doing would shock a lot of people.
00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:14.239
But if they know me and love me and care about me, they're gonna shock my kids.
00:37:14.320 --> 00:37:15.840
As long as you're happy, Dad.
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:23.760
Of course they make their funny comments because I love laughter, but as long as hey, if dad is happy, as long as he's happy, I don't need to know the details.
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:25.599
Why can't everybody be that way?
00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:29.440
I can love anybody I want.
00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:32.400
Your expectations, I really don't care.
00:37:32.960 --> 00:37:36.400
I can, I will, I do, and I'm so happy.
00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:37.920
Group puck.
00:37:38.079 --> 00:37:39.599
Don't tell me I can't.
00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:42.159
Don't tell me I can't.
00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:44.880
Oh, you early on, you can't move there.
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:45.760
You can't move at all.
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:46.719
What are you moving for?
00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:47.840
Nobody leaves Alabama.
00:37:48.079 --> 00:37:48.559
Hello.
00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:51.280
You've always lived somewhere.
00:37:51.360 --> 00:37:52.719
The family's always lived here.
00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:53.519
You're friends.
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:55.360
You won't have you don't have any friends there.
00:37:55.519 --> 00:37:56.880
Not until I get there.
00:37:57.440 --> 00:37:59.280
You don't have any history of that place.
00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:00.480
How do you get history?
00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:02.000
Be in a place for a while?
00:38:02.239 --> 00:38:03.679
I've never been happier.
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:05.920
I love where I'm from.
00:38:06.559 --> 00:38:08.880
I love where I've loved every place I've lived.
00:38:09.039 --> 00:38:12.079
I am, I'll tell you this, I'm a West Coast guy.
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:14.559
I've been here 22, 23 years.
00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:15.760
I'm a West Coast guy.
00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:19.840
And yeah, I live in Vegas now, but I'm in San Diego more than I'm in Vegas.
00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:20.719
I love it.
00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:22.960
I'm a half mile from the beach right now.
00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:24.159
I love it.
00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:27.119
I didn't have any friends here until I moved here.
00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:30.320
Now I've got lifelong friends.
00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:31.840
I kept the others too.
00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:33.840
But don't tell me I can't.
00:38:34.079 --> 00:38:35.360
I may move somewhere else.
00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:38.400
I don't know if I'll leave the West Coast, but I can.
00:38:39.119 --> 00:38:44.880
I'm thinking about moving to in six years, get me a little place on an island in Saint somewhere.
00:38:45.039 --> 00:38:45.920
How about that?
00:38:46.239 --> 00:38:47.760
Does that mean I can't?
00:38:48.079 --> 00:38:49.199
I might.
00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:50.719
If I want to.
00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:56.159
But not the reasons I will, the reasons I don't, are not because somebody else.
00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:05.760
Geography is meant to serve my life, not limit it.
00:39:06.320 --> 00:39:10.800
So yeah, I don't care what age I am, if I want to move, I can't.
00:39:11.199 --> 00:39:14.960
And you need to think about telling me I can't.
00:39:15.280 --> 00:39:18.480
Because you wouldn't, or you think I shouldn't?
00:39:18.800 --> 00:39:19.119
Okay.
00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:23.519
Yeah, you can put that in one hand and you know the story.
00:39:23.760 --> 00:39:24.559
So another one.
00:39:24.800 --> 00:39:28.480
You can't leave after investing this many years.
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:32.960
I worked for a company for 20 years and their culture changed a little bit for the right reasons.
00:39:33.119 --> 00:39:35.360
The board of directors, they needed to be more profitable.
00:39:35.440 --> 00:39:37.519
They needed to put more money to the bottom line.
00:39:37.599 --> 00:39:41.519
In order to grow like they wanted to, they needed to make some drastic changes.
00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:44.239
I was told you're either all in or all out.
00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:47.519
And within a couple of months, I was all out and I moved on.
00:39:47.599 --> 00:39:50.480
And people would say, wait a minute, you can't leave.
00:39:51.039 --> 00:39:51.519
What?
00:39:53.679 --> 00:39:56.400
Because of already invested too much time?
00:39:56.559 --> 00:39:58.880
Oh, I gave my heart and soul to that company.
00:39:59.119 --> 00:40:02.000
Yeah, but I still had plenty of heart and soul left.
00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:04.639
Yeah.
00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:14.079
And I decided investing time in a new one was better than continuing to invest in something that's changed that I wasn't going to be happy with.
00:40:14.239 --> 00:40:15.840
The time that I spent was gone.
00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:17.039
Can't get it back.
00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:20.320
So the question is whether tomorrow deserves the same investment.
00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:21.280
And to me it was no.
00:40:21.360 --> 00:40:22.480
It was a decision I made.
00:40:22.639 --> 00:40:23.920
People, you can't.
00:40:24.159 --> 00:40:25.039
You can't.
00:40:25.519 --> 00:40:26.320
Watch me.
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:27.119
I did.
00:40:27.519 --> 00:40:31.039
And I've been gloriously rewarded ever since.
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:33.360
And kept all the friends from there.
00:40:33.519 --> 00:40:34.639
I've worked with them.
00:40:34.719 --> 00:40:38.000
We've we've several left and we've worked together at other places.
00:40:38.079 --> 00:40:39.440
That could have never happened.
00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:40.400
It's been great.
00:40:40.480 --> 00:40:42.320
So don't tell me I can't.
00:40:43.360 --> 00:40:45.840
And some people say, we talked about how you can change your mind.
00:40:46.000 --> 00:40:49.199
A lot of people, they don't want you to change your mind.
00:40:49.280 --> 00:40:50.719
Wait, you can't change your mind.
00:40:50.880 --> 00:40:52.480
People call you inconsistent.
00:40:52.639 --> 00:40:54.719
You said this, now you're saying that.
00:40:55.039 --> 00:40:56.400
Maybe I learned something.
00:40:56.559 --> 00:40:58.480
Maybe I've got more information.
00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:05.280
Maybe new information has come to light, and you're not privy to this new stuff.
00:41:06.239 --> 00:41:14.960
I'd rather intelligently change my mind or my opinion than stubbornly defend something that I discovered is wrong.
00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:19.599
I've stood behind people and then I found out.
00:41:20.159 --> 00:41:20.480
Oh.
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:22.639
Hmm.
00:41:22.880 --> 00:41:24.400
I misjudged that.
00:41:24.719 --> 00:41:29.599
I didn't, I changed my mind based on information.
00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:31.280
Don't tell me I can't.
00:41:31.360 --> 00:41:32.480
I'm going to do the right thing.
00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:35.519
I'm going to do what I think is right no matter what.
00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:41.599
Even if it's Maya Culpa 180, sorry, this is not the case.
00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:46.000
And you can't tell me that I can't change my mind.
00:41:46.159 --> 00:41:47.039
And it stick.
00:41:47.280 --> 00:41:47.760
Because I can.
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:48.719
And I have.
00:41:48.880 --> 00:41:50.880
And I will probably do it again.
00:41:51.119 --> 00:41:52.639
I've heard many times.
00:41:52.800 --> 00:41:54.239
You can't say that.
00:41:54.719 --> 00:41:55.039
Oh.
00:41:56.079 --> 00:41:56.559
Whew.
00:41:57.280 --> 00:41:59.199
HR, HR, HR.
00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:02.800
But now it's like somebody may disagree.
00:42:02.880 --> 00:42:04.639
You may hurt somebody's feelings.
00:42:04.880 --> 00:42:06.719
That's not woke enough.
00:42:08.320 --> 00:42:15.360
I'm reasonably confident that anything I say that hurts somebody, they'll recover.
00:42:16.239 --> 00:42:16.559
Yeah.
00:42:16.719 --> 00:42:18.880
And say if I go too far, I may apologize.
00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:20.079
I probably will apologize.
00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:23.119
Kindness and honesty, they can coexist.
00:42:23.280 --> 00:42:24.480
I believe that.
00:42:25.119 --> 00:42:40.559
Truth doesn't need to be cruel, but sometimes kindness requires painful truths and is not being kind to be painfully dishonest and to save feelings.
00:42:40.719 --> 00:42:41.360
I believe that.
00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:42.880
So yeah, I can say that.
00:42:43.039 --> 00:42:47.280
I can I've proven I can tell burger jokes in front of a CEO.
00:42:47.840 --> 00:42:48.639
I can do that.
00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:49.760
Because that's Dave.
00:42:49.920 --> 00:42:50.800
Dave will do that.
00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:55.679
I have I've said some things in front of nuns before that I was right on the edge, and I love that.
00:42:55.760 --> 00:42:59.280
I've never felt more alive than it's like, oh, let me push that envelope.
00:42:59.599 --> 00:43:03.039
So far, most of the time it's served me well, even in front of the nuns.
00:43:03.199 --> 00:43:04.800
You've heard that story.
00:43:05.199 --> 00:43:07.360
So don't tell me I can't say that.
00:43:07.599 --> 00:43:10.239
I'm willing to roll the dice.
00:43:10.559 --> 00:43:14.719
And the consequences have usually been very beneficial.
00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:16.000
Sometimes not.
00:43:16.159 --> 00:43:16.960
But I know that.
00:43:17.039 --> 00:43:18.159
So don't tell me I can't.
00:43:18.239 --> 00:43:18.559
I can.
00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:20.159
I probably will.
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:22.000
I do.
00:43:23.440 --> 00:43:28.480
What about you can't walk away from somebody you've known forever.
00:43:28.719 --> 00:43:31.360
Now I don't walk away from people necessarily.
00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:38.800
Usually they create an environment that I've just chose, chosen to deselect.
00:43:38.960 --> 00:43:39.760
It's painful.
00:43:39.920 --> 00:43:40.639
I don't like it.
00:43:40.880 --> 00:43:43.440
But that history didn't create an obligation.
00:43:43.599 --> 00:43:45.039
Something changed.
00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:46.239
And it's tough.
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:47.760
But don't tell me I can't.
00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:52.239
History creates history, not an obligation.
00:43:52.400 --> 00:43:53.519
There's a story there.
00:43:53.840 --> 00:43:55.760
Does it mean it can't be healed?
00:43:55.920 --> 00:43:58.159
Does it mean there can't be a reconciliation?
00:43:58.320 --> 00:43:59.440
No, not at all.
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:03.599
But longevity doesn't guarantee the health of a relationship.
00:44:03.760 --> 00:44:07.199
Sometimes relationships deserve to work.
00:44:07.840 --> 00:44:09.440
Some deserve boundaries.
00:44:09.599 --> 00:44:12.559
Some deserve a respectful ending.
00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:14.239
Yeah.
00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:17.360
And I have one in particular.
00:44:17.679 --> 00:44:19.199
Forty-four years.
00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:24.000
I had a respectful ending.
00:44:25.360 --> 00:44:25.920
Yeah.
00:44:26.239 --> 00:44:27.599
Don't tell me I can't.
00:44:28.559 --> 00:44:28.960
I did.
00:44:29.199 --> 00:44:30.559
Wasn't my choice, but I did.
00:44:30.639 --> 00:44:31.840
And it was the right thing.
00:44:32.079 --> 00:44:36.320
She gave me a gift that I would have never given myself, and I am eternally grateful.
00:44:36.480 --> 00:44:38.159
Don't tell me I can't.
00:44:38.639 --> 00:44:39.599
We did.
00:44:40.559 --> 00:44:41.199
We did.
00:44:41.599 --> 00:44:43.920
And we're all better for it.
00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:44.639
Yeah.
00:44:46.159 --> 00:44:47.679
You can't do that.
00:44:48.239 --> 00:44:48.719
Why?
00:44:48.960 --> 00:44:50.159
You never done it before.
00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:51.519
Oh, that one gets me.
00:44:51.840 --> 00:44:55.920
The line that's ruined more businesses and families and relationships.
00:44:56.159 --> 00:44:57.519
We've always done it that way.
00:44:57.679 --> 00:45:00.559
You can't do it that way, we've always done it this way.
00:45:01.679 --> 00:45:04.400
Because we don't have any experience with anything else?
00:45:04.559 --> 00:45:06.480
That's why we keep doing it.
00:45:07.119 --> 00:45:08.320
Oh, please.
00:45:08.880 --> 00:45:10.639
That's an interesting requirement.
00:45:10.800 --> 00:45:12.719
If you've never done it before, you can't do it.
00:45:12.800 --> 00:45:13.280
Oh my.
00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:16.159
My life would be totally different following that.
00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:22.400
How exactly does somebody acquire experience without doing something they've never done before?
00:45:22.559 --> 00:45:24.719
That's why you're so inexperienced.
00:45:26.239 --> 00:45:35.440
Every expert once looked at something, he didn't know what they were doing and decided let's do it this way and didn't even know.
00:45:35.519 --> 00:45:37.039
Nobody's ever done it this way before.
00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:38.159
Invention.
00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:44.320
New habits, new routines, all of that.
00:45:44.559 --> 00:45:50.639
It's the lifeblood of activity and action and enthusiasm.
00:45:50.800 --> 00:45:51.840
The same all?
00:45:52.559 --> 00:45:53.599
Oh my goodness.
00:45:53.760 --> 00:45:55.360
That's a death sentence.
00:45:56.559 --> 00:45:57.679
What are you talking about?
00:45:57.840 --> 00:45:59.119
We've never done it that way before.
00:45:59.199 --> 00:46:01.280
That's a reason to try something new.
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:02.400
And I will.
00:46:02.719 --> 00:46:03.599
I shall.
00:46:03.840 --> 00:46:05.199
I can, I do.
00:46:06.800 --> 00:46:08.480
Oh, people have told me this.
00:46:08.719 --> 00:46:11.119
Oh man, you're taking a risk at your age?
00:46:11.280 --> 00:46:12.639
You can't fail now.
00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:13.760
Pardon?
00:46:14.639 --> 00:46:17.599
Is failure just more embarrassing when you're older?
00:46:18.960 --> 00:46:20.159
It hasn't been to me.
00:46:20.320 --> 00:46:23.039
I guess some people it would, depending on what you're doing.
00:46:23.280 --> 00:46:25.599
I think regret is more embarrassing.
00:46:25.679 --> 00:46:28.719
It's definitely more expensive the older you get.
00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:35.519
I'd rather explain why something didn't work than spend 10 years explaining why I was too afraid to try it.
00:46:36.480 --> 00:46:38.639
I'm too old to fail now.
00:46:39.199 --> 00:46:39.760
Shh.
00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:41.280
I plan to fail.
00:46:41.440 --> 00:46:45.519
I plan to do something and fail and then get better at it and then succeed.
00:46:45.760 --> 00:46:47.199
I don't want to fail.
00:46:47.599 --> 00:46:49.519
But just part of action.
00:46:49.599 --> 00:46:50.559
That's part of activity.
00:46:50.639 --> 00:46:51.679
That's part of trying.
00:46:51.840 --> 00:46:52.639
I get all the time.
00:46:52.719 --> 00:46:55.360
I talked about you can't wear that or you can't say that.
00:46:55.679 --> 00:46:58.079
You can't act like that at your age.
00:46:58.960 --> 00:47:09.280
Oh, I hear that from some of my friends when they talk about what we did last weekend or what, not friends who live with me because they know or around me, friends from some other world or some other part.
00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:15.360
It's uh adulthood apparently requires a gradual transition from colors to beige.
00:47:15.840 --> 00:47:18.159
Khaki pastels.
00:47:19.199 --> 00:47:19.920
Nope.
00:47:20.159 --> 00:47:22.559
I like black, I like vivid colors.
00:47:22.800 --> 00:47:25.519
Give me a gory metal t-shirt.
00:47:25.599 --> 00:47:27.280
And I wore one of those church one time.
00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:29.360
I didn't realize it in the background.
00:47:29.519 --> 00:47:37.119
It was a black dahlia murder shirt, and it just looked like it just looked black, but in a certain light, you could see people hanging from trees.
00:47:37.920 --> 00:47:39.119
Oh, that's a church.
00:47:39.199 --> 00:47:40.880
Or that's a saddleback.
00:47:42.159 --> 00:47:44.159
Anyway, you can't act like that.
00:47:44.239 --> 00:47:45.920
I can't get mosh pits.
00:47:46.639 --> 00:47:47.280
What?
00:47:47.840 --> 00:47:49.519
I'm at the edge of mosh pits now.
00:47:49.599 --> 00:47:50.159
I don't get them.
00:47:50.239 --> 00:47:51.519
I guard myself a little bit.
00:47:51.679 --> 00:47:53.679
A lot of times we even stand back a little bit.
00:47:53.760 --> 00:47:55.280
But I'm at those shows.
00:47:56.320 --> 00:47:57.760
Yeah, I can't act like that.
00:47:58.000 --> 00:47:58.639
What?
00:47:58.880 --> 00:48:01.199
I can't get out there and play basketball.
00:48:01.280 --> 00:48:04.000
I can't get out there and hit the tennis ball.
00:48:04.559 --> 00:48:08.000
I don't play pickleball because I'm not that old yet.
00:48:08.880 --> 00:48:09.519
I know.
00:48:09.599 --> 00:48:11.840
You get pissed off when I say that, but that's why I say it.
00:48:12.000 --> 00:48:12.800
You can't say that?
00:48:12.960 --> 00:48:13.920
I just did.
00:48:14.880 --> 00:48:15.840
Come on.
00:48:16.400 --> 00:48:18.159
It's not responsible.
00:48:20.559 --> 00:48:22.079
Let me tell you something.
00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:26.559
You don't stop doing stuff because you get old.
00:48:26.719 --> 00:48:30.320
You get old because you don't stop doing because you stop doing stuff.
00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:31.920
I'm not dead inside.
00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:35.119
Inside me is that 20-something, just ready to go.
00:48:35.199 --> 00:48:41.760
And yeah, I have to, I know, I can't do it all like I used to, but it's not because of my age.
00:48:42.639 --> 00:48:43.840
I challenge you.
00:48:44.079 --> 00:48:44.880
Let's go.
00:48:45.119 --> 00:48:46.400
I love to be challenged.
00:48:46.480 --> 00:48:48.559
I'm hanging around some people a lot younger than me.
00:48:48.800 --> 00:48:49.679
I can keep up.
00:48:49.760 --> 00:48:50.480
There's certain things.
00:48:50.719 --> 00:48:52.960
I'll take a little more advil than they do.
00:48:54.239 --> 00:48:56.480
But don't tell me I can't do it because of my age.
00:48:56.559 --> 00:48:57.840
What's wrong with you?
00:48:58.719 --> 00:48:59.760
What's wrong with you?
00:48:59.920 --> 00:49:04.159
A lot of this is whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:05.599
I think I can.
00:49:07.360 --> 00:49:08.559
I think I can.
00:49:09.199 --> 00:49:10.800
You can't reinvent yourself?
00:49:10.960 --> 00:49:13.599
I don't want to reinvent myself, but I want to.
00:49:13.760 --> 00:49:21.039
This this little the side project or this little personality side of me or this new hobby.
00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:22.320
I love that.
00:49:22.480 --> 00:49:27.199
People, yeah, people already know who I am, but I guarantee you I do it a lot of times in icebreakers.
00:49:27.360 --> 00:49:31.440
Some things that no one would know about you, and I can always shock them.
00:49:31.679 --> 00:49:33.199
People think they know who I am.
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:34.400
No, I gotcha.
00:49:34.559 --> 00:49:35.440
I know who I was.
00:49:35.519 --> 00:49:36.320
I know who I am.
00:49:36.480 --> 00:49:40.159
I don't even know who I'm gonna be, and that is exciting.
00:49:40.480 --> 00:49:49.599
I reserve the right to be somebody with my old ass out there with people saying, he did it.
00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:52.800
I thought he couldn't, but he did.
00:49:53.199 --> 00:49:54.000
A couple of more.
00:49:54.159 --> 00:49:56.079
You can't chase something that big now.
00:49:56.159 --> 00:49:57.199
You're too late in your life.
00:49:57.280 --> 00:49:58.079
Why are you chasing that?
00:49:58.159 --> 00:49:59.360
Why are you learning a new hobby?
00:49:59.440 --> 00:50:00.639
Why are you learning a new language?
00:50:00.800 --> 00:50:02.400
Why are you learning to do that?
00:50:02.559 --> 00:50:07.119
Why are you learning to hydroplane offshore boats?
00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:08.400
Yeah.
00:50:09.360 --> 00:50:11.280
I don't have enough time left to learn it.
00:50:11.440 --> 00:50:13.519
That's why we gotta get started now.
00:50:14.400 --> 00:50:17.519
Wasting today sounds worse than anything.
00:50:17.840 --> 00:50:20.480
I can, I will, I shall, I do.
00:50:22.480 --> 00:50:24.559
You can't do something just because it makes you happy?
00:50:24.639 --> 00:50:26.159
That's a big reason to do it.
00:50:26.400 --> 00:50:31.920
Maybe it's not productive, maybe it won't advance my career, maybe it won't make me money, maybe people won't understand it.
00:50:32.079 --> 00:50:33.119
I don't care.
00:50:34.079 --> 00:50:37.519
Does everything need a quarterly earnings report?
00:50:37.840 --> 00:50:39.360
How am I doing?
00:50:39.840 --> 00:50:41.920
I'm gonna learn how to play high lie.
00:50:42.320 --> 00:50:42.639
Oh.
00:50:44.480 --> 00:50:48.159
Joy's allowed to be profitable without producing money.
00:50:49.119 --> 00:50:50.320
How about that?
00:50:51.920 --> 00:50:52.559
Yeah.
00:50:54.079 --> 00:50:55.599
You can't do the impossible.
00:50:55.760 --> 00:50:57.280
To some people, I do it every day.
00:50:57.599 --> 00:51:00.480
Somebody else can't imagine me doing something.
00:51:00.800 --> 00:51:02.480
That spurs me on.
00:51:03.679 --> 00:51:07.599
If you can't imagine me doing it, that sounds more like failure of your imagination.
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:09.039
Let's try.
00:51:09.280 --> 00:51:11.920
Somebody says, I've never seen that done before.
00:51:12.320 --> 00:51:15.039
Or I tried and failed, so you shouldn't.
00:51:15.360 --> 00:51:16.880
I'd be terrified to try that.
00:51:17.039 --> 00:51:17.920
Okay, don't.
00:51:18.400 --> 00:51:20.000
Nobody in our family does that.
00:51:20.239 --> 00:51:21.840
I've heard that so many times.
00:51:22.079 --> 00:51:23.119
All of those things.
00:51:23.280 --> 00:51:24.960
That's not the way we've always done it.
00:51:25.119 --> 00:51:30.559
If you actually pull this off, I'm going to have to reconsider the limitations I've placed on myself.
00:51:30.719 --> 00:51:32.239
That's what they're really saying.
00:51:32.559 --> 00:51:35.360
So not everything you can do is something you should do.
00:51:35.440 --> 00:51:36.719
It's like Popo said.
00:51:37.039 --> 00:51:38.000
Distinction matters.
00:51:38.079 --> 00:51:40.320
And I don't believe in mindless rebellion.
00:51:40.559 --> 00:51:42.639
Rules are in place a lot of times.
00:51:42.960 --> 00:51:45.519
But that doesn't mean they're wise.
00:51:45.760 --> 00:51:49.840
Some limitations are real, and consequences are permanent.
00:51:50.320 --> 00:51:56.480
But that's when somebody tells me I can't do something, I don't automatically say, watch me.
00:51:56.639 --> 00:51:57.679
Sometimes I think about it.
00:51:57.760 --> 00:51:58.480
I'll ask why?
00:51:58.639 --> 00:51:59.679
Why don't you think so?
00:51:59.920 --> 00:52:04.320
That's a more mature response because they may have some information I don't have.
00:52:04.719 --> 00:52:06.159
It's also convince me.
00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:06.960
Tell me why.
00:52:07.119 --> 00:52:07.920
Show me the danger.
00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:09.199
Show me the consequences.
00:52:09.360 --> 00:52:10.480
What am I missing here?
00:52:10.639 --> 00:52:11.519
I'll listen to them.
00:52:11.599 --> 00:52:12.559
I really do.
00:52:13.039 --> 00:52:15.840
Because sometimes I shouldn't.
00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:18.719
Just shlough it away.
00:52:18.800 --> 00:52:20.000
It's good advice.
00:52:20.320 --> 00:52:24.480
But don't hand me I wouldn't or you shouldn't.
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:26.480
Or you can't.
00:52:26.800 --> 00:52:28.159
That's where I push back.
00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:30.400
So I really have four questions.
00:52:30.719 --> 00:52:33.519
When somebody tells me I can't or shouldn't or wouldn't.
00:52:33.840 --> 00:52:35.599
Is it actually possible?
00:52:37.119 --> 00:52:39.440
Is it illegal or unethical?
00:52:40.480 --> 00:52:46.159
Am I or could it seriously or unnecessarily harm me or somebody else?
00:52:46.400 --> 00:52:49.119
And then lastly, am I willing to accept the consequences?
00:52:49.280 --> 00:52:50.719
So is it possible?
00:52:50.880 --> 00:52:52.079
Is it legal?
00:52:52.400 --> 00:52:54.719
Or is it illegal or unethical?
00:52:54.880 --> 00:52:57.280
Is it going to hurt somebody unnecessarily?
00:52:57.599 --> 00:52:59.679
Am I willing to take the consequences?
00:52:59.840 --> 00:53:00.960
I asked myself that.
00:53:01.039 --> 00:53:04.480
And if there's a legitimate reason, okay, I'll consider it.
00:53:04.719 --> 00:53:08.000
If there's a cliff on the other side of the fence, I'd like to know that.
00:53:08.079 --> 00:53:09.679
If there's a waterfall down there, okay.
00:53:09.760 --> 00:53:11.920
But don't tell me, people just don't do that.
00:53:14.159 --> 00:53:19.920
So the whole stop less, go more, never quit, that's where this comes in.
00:53:20.719 --> 00:53:21.599
Stop less.
00:53:21.679 --> 00:53:22.960
Stop doing crazy things.
00:53:23.039 --> 00:53:25.519
But don't stop because your family doesn't understand.
00:53:25.679 --> 00:53:27.360
Don't stop because you're older.
00:53:27.599 --> 00:53:30.079
Don't stop because you failed one time.
00:53:30.960 --> 00:53:48.079
Go, go more, apply, ask, call, travel, love, learn, write, speak, try, move, start, change, apologize, forgive, dance like a fool.
00:53:48.400 --> 00:53:50.800
Sing like a psh.
00:53:51.679 --> 00:53:53.039
Sing it loud.
00:53:54.239 --> 00:53:58.320
Learn something at 61 that most people learned at 16.
00:53:58.639 --> 00:53:59.760
That's beautiful.
00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:04.559
But also walk into rooms where you don't know anybody and you don't care.
00:54:04.719 --> 00:54:08.639
Do something you're terrible at long enough to become decent at it.
00:54:09.280 --> 00:54:10.559
Have the conversation.
00:54:10.719 --> 00:54:12.079
Take the chance.
00:54:12.960 --> 00:54:18.239
Eleanor Rosowitz said, you must do the thing you think you cannot do.
00:54:19.599 --> 00:54:20.880
I love that.
00:54:21.119 --> 00:54:22.880
It doesn't mean jump off a roof.
00:54:23.039 --> 00:54:23.920
You know you can do it.
00:54:24.000 --> 00:54:25.519
Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
00:54:25.679 --> 00:54:30.400
It means stop allowing fear to masquerade as incapability.
00:54:30.639 --> 00:54:30.960
Go.
00:54:32.639 --> 00:54:34.079
And then never quit.
00:54:34.320 --> 00:54:35.039
Never quit.
00:54:35.119 --> 00:54:36.400
It doesn't mean never stop.
00:54:36.480 --> 00:54:38.400
It means I stop all the time.
00:54:38.559 --> 00:54:39.440
I stop and think.
00:54:39.519 --> 00:54:40.639
I stop and rest.
00:54:41.920 --> 00:54:43.840
I stop and reassess.
00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:45.360
I stop and recover.
00:54:45.440 --> 00:54:46.239
I stop and admit.
00:54:46.559 --> 00:54:47.440
I was stupid.
00:54:47.599 --> 00:54:48.880
I do that all the time.
00:54:49.119 --> 00:54:50.719
I stop and change directions.
00:54:50.800 --> 00:54:52.559
I stop and ask for help.
00:54:52.719 --> 00:54:53.760
I stop and learn.
00:54:53.840 --> 00:54:55.360
Then I go again.
00:54:55.760 --> 00:54:58.480
There's nothing left in me.
00:55:00.639 --> 00:55:02.239
That's when I quit.
00:55:02.880 --> 00:55:04.800
Actually, it's the opposite of that.
00:55:05.039 --> 00:55:08.239
When I quit, I say there's nothing left in me.
00:55:09.280 --> 00:55:12.159
And very seldom is that the case, if ever.
00:55:12.800 --> 00:55:17.199
That particular thing wasn't working, so I stop and reassess and move on.
00:55:17.760 --> 00:55:20.719
Don't make your world smaller than it needs to be.
00:55:20.880 --> 00:55:22.880
That's what all this really comes down to.
00:55:23.039 --> 00:55:25.920
Life will give you enough genuine limitations.
00:55:26.079 --> 00:55:30.079
Your body will occasionally speak up and say, hey, here's some more.
00:55:30.320 --> 00:55:32.480
Money may hold you back a little bit.
00:55:32.639 --> 00:55:35.360
Circumstances will hold you back a little bit sometimes.
00:55:35.599 --> 00:55:38.639
Gravity is remarkably consistent.
00:55:38.880 --> 00:55:43.599
And apparently Shellfish and I have some unresolved issues.
00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:52.559
So why in the world would I voluntarily add another thousand imaginary limitations because somebody said people like you don't do that?
00:55:54.159 --> 00:55:57.039
What exactly are people like me?
00:55:58.159 --> 00:55:59.280
People from Alabama?
00:55:59.440 --> 00:56:00.480
People over sixty?
00:56:00.719 --> 00:56:01.760
Salespeople?
00:56:02.079 --> 00:56:02.719
Speakers?
00:56:02.960 --> 00:56:04.079
Divorce people?
00:56:04.400 --> 00:56:04.719
Men?
00:56:05.280 --> 00:56:06.880
People with mistakes in their history?
00:56:07.039 --> 00:56:10.239
People who had some New Year's go a little sideways?
00:56:10.559 --> 00:56:13.519
What category gets to determine what's next for me?
00:56:13.760 --> 00:56:15.440
None of 'em, I'll tell you that.
00:56:15.760 --> 00:56:16.960
You either.
00:56:17.360 --> 00:56:21.760
Things they describe pieces of our story.
00:56:21.920 --> 00:56:23.360
They don't write the ending.
00:56:23.519 --> 00:56:24.800
So here's my rule.
00:56:25.039 --> 00:56:26.880
Tell me you shouldn't.
00:56:27.039 --> 00:56:27.679
I'll listen.
00:56:27.840 --> 00:56:28.880
Tell me why.
00:56:29.119 --> 00:56:31.440
Maybe you've seen something I haven't.
00:56:31.679 --> 00:56:33.199
Tell me I wouldn't.
00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:33.760
Fine.
00:56:33.920 --> 00:56:34.800
I'll respect that.
00:56:34.960 --> 00:56:36.800
You live your life, I'll live mine.
00:56:37.199 --> 00:56:41.519
But tell me I can't, you better have some evidence.
00:56:42.239 --> 00:56:45.679
Because I can't is a very big word.
00:56:46.559 --> 00:56:58.239
And I've spent an awful lot of the life discovering that other people's can't frequently means I wouldn't, I'm afraid to, I've never done that, I don't understand that.
00:56:58.639 --> 00:57:04.239
Nobody I knew I know does that, or I'm not sure you can.
00:57:04.559 --> 00:57:04.960
Good.
00:57:05.199 --> 00:57:06.400
Neither am I.
00:57:06.639 --> 00:57:08.239
That's why I want to try.
00:57:08.400 --> 00:57:10.079
That's what makes it interesting.
00:57:10.320 --> 00:57:14.559
I've reached a place in my life where I don't need everybody to understand me.
00:57:14.719 --> 00:57:17.280
I don't need everybody to approve, please.
00:57:17.440 --> 00:57:20.320
And I certainly don't need everybody to do what I do.
00:57:21.119 --> 00:57:22.880
You don't have to wear what I wear.
00:57:23.039 --> 00:57:24.639
Listen to what I listen to.
00:57:24.880 --> 00:57:28.800
Live where I live or believe exactly what I believe.
00:57:29.119 --> 00:57:33.119
Where I work, who I love, try what I try.
00:57:34.000 --> 00:57:35.840
Take chances, I take.
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:37.039
I don't advise it.
00:57:37.199 --> 00:57:38.719
You don't have to reinvent yourself.
00:57:38.800 --> 00:57:40.239
You don't have to start over.
00:57:40.960 --> 00:57:46.159
You don't have to walk onto that stage not knowing what you're going to say and just trusting the words will come.
00:57:47.119 --> 00:57:47.840
You wouldn't?
00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:48.320
Fine.
00:57:48.559 --> 00:57:49.760
You think I should?
00:57:50.079 --> 00:57:51.360
Tell me why.
00:57:51.599 --> 00:57:53.599
Don't tell me I can't.
00:57:55.039 --> 00:57:56.000
I love it.
00:57:56.320 --> 00:57:57.039
I love it.
00:57:57.360 --> 00:57:58.639
Go more.
00:57:59.199 --> 00:58:01.519
Stop less and never quit.
00:58:03.519 --> 00:58:07.039
Don't hand me your I wouldn't and call it your shouldn't.
00:58:07.199 --> 00:58:11.440
And don't take your shouldn't and promote it to you can't.
00:58:11.679 --> 00:58:12.880
Maybe I can't.
00:58:13.039 --> 00:58:15.440
But let me decide if I'm gonna try or not.
00:58:15.599 --> 00:58:17.039
I hope this hits home.
00:58:17.199 --> 00:58:18.400
I appreciate your time.
00:58:18.559 --> 00:58:24.239
Hit me up, david at otalks.com or davidotalks.com or just go to the website, tell you how to get a hold of me.
00:58:24.400 --> 00:58:25.280
Give me your feedback.
00:58:25.360 --> 00:58:26.639
I appreciate it.
00:58:26.960 --> 00:58:28.239
Thank you for hanging out.
00:58:28.320 --> 00:58:29.360
Thank you for hanging on.
00:58:29.440 --> 00:58:32.480
But most of all, thanks for O Talking with Dave.
00:58:32.800 --> 00:58:33.760
Giddy up.