WEBVTT
00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:08.320
Hello everyone and welcome back to Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison.
00:00:08.480 --> 00:00:15.199
I'm Miss Harrison and I'm so happy you're here for another episode in our Understanding Anger series.
00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:21.199
Last time we explored what is my anger telling me.
00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:33.600
We discovered that anger can sometimes be like the top of an iceberg, with other feelings like hurt, disappointment, worry, or embarrassment underneath.
00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:38.079
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:00:38.560 --> 00:00:44.000
Perhaps once you were calm, you asked yourself, what else might I be feeling?
00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:50.719
Today we're exploring one of the most useful skills we can learn when anger arrives.
00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:53.920
The pause before we act.
00:00:54.479 --> 00:01:04.959
By the end of this episode, you'll understand how creating even a tiny space between feeling angry and acting on that feeling can help you make a better choice.
00:01:05.439 --> 00:01:06.799
Let's begin.
00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:12.560
Have you ever done something when you were angry and wished you could take it back?
00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:18.159
Maybe you shouted, slammed a door, threw something.
00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:22.560
Or said words you didn't really mean.
00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:25.760
Anger can make us want to act quickly.
00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:29.519
Our body says, Do something now.
00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:33.120
But remember what we've already learned.
00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:35.439
Feeling angry is okay.
00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:38.400
The action we choose is something different.
00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:41.040
That's where the pause comes in.
00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:47.519
A pause gives our thinking brain a little time to catch up with our angry feeling.
00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:49.599
It doesn't have to be long.
00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:58.799
Sometimes just a few seconds can help us move from react to what do I want to do next?
00:01:59.760 --> 00:02:04.400
Let's hear about someone who discovered the power of that tiny pause.
00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:08.240
Ben had been working on a painting all afternoon.
00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:12.879
He had mixed the colours carefully and was almost finished.
00:02:13.199 --> 00:02:16.240
Then his friend Amira reached across the table.
00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:19.520
Her arm caught Ben's pot of water.
00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:24.080
Splash! Water spread across the paper.
00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:27.439
Ben jumped up, his face felt hot.
00:02:27.919 --> 00:02:29.759
His fists tightened.
00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:33.360
He was about to shout, Look what you've done.
00:02:33.840 --> 00:02:36.400
But then he stopped.
00:02:36.719 --> 00:02:45.919
Ben remembered his anger thermometer, hot face, tight hands, fast heartbeat.
00:02:46.319 --> 00:02:54.000
His anger was rising, so Ben took one step back, he breathed in and slowly out.
00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:57.280
Amira looked horrified.
00:02:57.840 --> 00:02:59.520
I'm really sorry, Ben.
00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:01.280
It was an accident.
00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:04.240
Ben was still angry.
00:03:04.719 --> 00:03:09.599
The pause hadn't magically changed that, but now he could think.
00:03:10.479 --> 00:03:13.599
I worked really hard on that, he said.
00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:16.319
I'm really upset.
00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:18.879
I know, said Amira.
00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:21.280
Can I help you fix it?
00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:27.840
Together they carefully lifted the wet paper and found another sheet.
00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:30.400
Ben was still disappointed.
00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:33.039
But he was also proud.
00:03:33.840 --> 00:03:38.479
He had felt his anger and chosen what happened next.
00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:43.360
What do you think Ben learned about pausing before acting?
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:48.560
Just like Ben, we can practice creating a pause when anger appears.
00:03:48.879 --> 00:03:51.199
Here are three simple steps.
00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:52.800
One stop.
00:03:53.520 --> 00:03:58.400
When you notice your anger signals, don't immediately act.
00:03:59.280 --> 00:04:02.560
If you can, stop your body for a moment.
00:04:03.599 --> 00:04:05.759
Two breathe.
00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:11.599
Take one slow breath in and out.
00:04:13.039 --> 00:04:16.079
You aren't trying to make the anger disappear.
00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:18.240
You're giving yourself time.
00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:22.480
Three choose ask.
00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:25.279
What do I want to do next?
00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:27.839
Maybe you need to step away.
00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:33.040
Use calm words, ask for help or tell someone.
00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:36.720
I'm too angry to talk about this yet.
00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:39.439
The pause gives you choices.
00:04:40.319 --> 00:04:42.560
Let's practice together.
00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:46.959
Imagine someone has just done something that makes you angry.
00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:49.439
You feel your anger rising.
00:04:49.839 --> 00:04:50.480
Ready?
00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:52.319
Stop.
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:54.800
Now breathe in.
00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:57.759
One and breathe out.
00:04:58.480 --> 00:04:59.120
Two.
00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:03.199
Ask yourself what do I choose?
00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:04.879
Three.
00:05:05.759 --> 00:05:08.560
Perhaps you choose to speak calmly.
00:05:09.199 --> 00:05:12.879
Perhaps you step away, perhaps you find an adult.
00:05:13.279 --> 00:05:21.040
Three seconds won't solve every problem, but those three seconds can sometimes stop anger from choosing for you.
00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:26.720
You've done such important work today learning about the pause before we act.
00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:32.399
Let's remember anger can make us want to react quickly.
00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:41.360
A pause gives our thinking brain time to catch up, and we can feel angry while still choosing a safe and thoughtful action.
00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:45.439
Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
00:05:45.759 --> 00:05:50.000
If you notice your anger thermometer rising, practice.
00:05:50.720 --> 00:05:54.480
Stop, breathe, choose.
00:05:55.519 --> 00:06:00.079
Even if you remember after the moment has passed, that's okay.
00:06:00.639 --> 00:06:03.279
Noticing is part of learning.
00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:19.920
Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore expressing anger safely because anger needs somewhere to go, and there are ways to express it without hurting ourselves, other people, or the things around us.
00:06:20.319 --> 00:06:22.399
Thank you for joining me today.
00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:42.480
Keep pausing, keep choosing, and as always, keep shining brightness.
00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:08.320
Hello everyone and welcome back to Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison.
00:00:08.480 --> 00:00:15.199
I'm Miss Harrison and I'm so happy you're here for another episode in our Understanding Anger series.
00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:21.199
Last time we explored what is my anger telling me.
00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:33.600
We discovered that anger can sometimes be like the top of an iceberg, with other feelings like hurt, disappointment, worry, or embarrassment underneath.
00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:38.079
Did you try your mindful moment challenge this week?
00:00:38.560 --> 00:00:44.000
Perhaps once you were calm, you asked yourself, what else might I be feeling?
00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:50.719
Today we're exploring one of the most useful skills we can learn when anger arrives.
00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:53.920
The pause before we act.
00:00:54.479 --> 00:01:04.959
By the end of this episode, you'll understand how creating even a tiny space between feeling angry and acting on that feeling can help you make a better choice.
00:01:05.439 --> 00:01:06.799
Let's begin.
00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:12.560
Have you ever done something when you were angry and wished you could take it back?
00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:18.159
Maybe you shouted, slammed a door, threw something.
00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:22.560
Or said words you didn't really mean.
00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:25.760
Anger can make us want to act quickly.
00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:29.519
Our body says, Do something now.
00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:33.120
But remember what we've already learned.
00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:35.439
Feeling angry is okay.
00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:38.400
The action we choose is something different.
00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:41.040
That's where the pause comes in.
00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:47.519
A pause gives our thinking brain a little time to catch up with our angry feeling.
00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:49.599
It doesn't have to be long.
00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:58.799
Sometimes just a few seconds can help us move from react to what do I want to do next?
00:01:59.760 --> 00:02:04.400
Let's hear about someone who discovered the power of that tiny pause.
00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:08.240
Ben had been working on a painting all afternoon.
00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:12.879
He had mixed the colours carefully and was almost finished.
00:02:13.199 --> 00:02:16.240
Then his friend Amira reached across the table.
00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:19.520
Her arm caught Ben's pot of water.
00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:24.080
Splash! Water spread across the paper.
00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:27.439
Ben jumped up, his face felt hot.
00:02:27.919 --> 00:02:29.759
His fists tightened.
00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:33.360
He was about to shout, Look what you've done.
00:02:33.840 --> 00:02:36.400
But then he stopped.
00:02:36.719 --> 00:02:45.919
Ben remembered his anger thermometer, hot face, tight hands, fast heartbeat.
00:02:46.319 --> 00:02:54.000
His anger was rising, so Ben took one step back, he breathed in and slowly out.
00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:57.280
Amira looked horrified.
00:02:57.840 --> 00:02:59.520
I'm really sorry, Ben.
00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:01.280
It was an accident.
00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:04.240
Ben was still angry.
00:03:04.719 --> 00:03:09.599
The pause hadn't magically changed that, but now he could think.
00:03:10.479 --> 00:03:13.599
I worked really hard on that, he said.
00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:16.319
I'm really upset.
00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:18.879
I know, said Amira.
00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:21.280
Can I help you fix it?
00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:27.840
Together they carefully lifted the wet paper and found another sheet.
00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:30.400
Ben was still disappointed.
00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:33.039
But he was also proud.
00:03:33.840 --> 00:03:38.479
He had felt his anger and chosen what happened next.
00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:43.360
What do you think Ben learned about pausing before acting?
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:48.560
Just like Ben, we can practice creating a pause when anger appears.
00:03:48.879 --> 00:03:51.199
Here are three simple steps.
00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:52.800
One stop.
00:03:53.520 --> 00:03:58.400
When you notice your anger signals, don't immediately act.
00:03:59.280 --> 00:04:02.560
If you can, stop your body for a moment.
00:04:03.599 --> 00:04:05.759
Two breathe.
00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:11.599
Take one slow breath in and out.
00:04:13.039 --> 00:04:16.079
You aren't trying to make the anger disappear.
00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:18.240
You're giving yourself time.
00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:22.480
Three choose ask.
00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:25.279
What do I want to do next?
00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:27.839
Maybe you need to step away.
00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:33.040
Use calm words, ask for help or tell someone.
00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:36.720
I'm too angry to talk about this yet.
00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:39.439
The pause gives you choices.
00:04:40.319 --> 00:04:42.560
Let's practice together.
00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:46.959
Imagine someone has just done something that makes you angry.
00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:49.439
You feel your anger rising.
00:04:49.839 --> 00:04:50.480
Ready?
00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:52.319
Stop.
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:54.800
Now breathe in.
00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:57.759
One and breathe out.
00:04:58.480 --> 00:04:59.120
Two.
00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:03.199
Ask yourself what do I choose?
00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:04.879
Three.
00:05:05.759 --> 00:05:08.560
Perhaps you choose to speak calmly.
00:05:09.199 --> 00:05:12.879
Perhaps you step away, perhaps you find an adult.
00:05:13.279 --> 00:05:21.040
Three seconds won't solve every problem, but those three seconds can sometimes stop anger from choosing for you.
00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:26.720
You've done such important work today learning about the pause before we act.
00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:32.399
Let's remember anger can make us want to react quickly.
00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:41.360
A pause gives our thinking brain time to catch up, and we can feel angry while still choosing a safe and thoughtful action.
00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:45.439
Here's your mindful moment challenge for the week.
00:05:45.759 --> 00:05:50.000
If you notice your anger thermometer rising, practice.
00:05:50.720 --> 00:05:54.480
Stop, breathe, choose.
00:05:55.519 --> 00:06:00.079
Even if you remember after the moment has passed, that's okay.
00:06:00.639 --> 00:06:03.279
Noticing is part of learning.
00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:19.920
Next time on Mindful Moments with Miss Harrison, we'll explore expressing anger safely because anger needs somewhere to go, and there are ways to express it without hurting ourselves, other people, or the things around us.
00:06:20.319 --> 00:06:22.399
Thank you for joining me today.
00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:42.480
Keep pausing, keep choosing, and as always, keep shining brightness.
