WEBVTT
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Why are you still speaking that thought should not have
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made it to the rest of us this is inside
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thoughts with nick.
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Jordan Check, check, check.
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One, two, three. Welcome back to Inside Thoughts. Appreciate you
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pressing play and listening to me when you definitely had
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some better shit to be doing. I got a cool
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interview for you at the end of the podcast with
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comedian Ryan Hamilton. He's going to be at Clues Memorial
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Hall in Indianapolis in a couple weeks, October 23rd. Super
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funny dude, but you'll hear that, so go get your tickets.
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Go find him. How you doing, man? Hopefully you're having
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a good week. I'm currently watching the Braves and the
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Phillies in this wild card game. It's one-to-one, bottom of
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the fifth. So if I get irrationally angry or happy
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in the middle of this for seemingly no reason, something
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happened in the game. Also, I don't, like, understand why
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we're having playoff games at fucking 2 o'clock on a weekday.
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I'm pretty positive– Rob Manfred actually hates baseball. I can't
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prove it, but he just does so much shit like, hey,
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can I watch a game? Yeah, but we're going to
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make you jump through 72 hoops just to see your
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in-town team. It's like, why are you doing that? Back
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when I was a kid, it was easy as shit
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to watch baseball games. And now you've got to download
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72 apps. Luckily, all these playoff games are going to
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be on big networks, so as long as you've got, like,
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YouTube TV or Peacock, you'll be all right. But I
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don't understand the 2 o'clock wildcard start time. Like, just
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have it at 7 o'clock. You're going to have alternating days.
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You can stretch it out. Like, it's September 29th. It's
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not even October. It's time for October baseball. It's, it's
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not October yet. And we're rushing these games for what?
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I don't know, man, but it is what it is.
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It is a cool time of year though. College football's back.
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NFL's back. MLB playoffs are going on. NBA's getting closer
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to starting. It's a good time for sports, man. But
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I was, uh, I was feeling bad for Falcons fans.
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The first couple of weeks of the season, they, uh,
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We had Cooper Rush out there twice, and it was
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just not fun to watch. Falcons fans, like my buddies
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in Atlanta, we were talking about it. They were slowly
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turning into Cleveland Browns fans, just the way they were talking.
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Just start the rookie, man. Even if he sucks, it'll
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be more fun to watch than Cooper Rush. We're just
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QB away, dude. We got the weapons on offense. We
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got the defense. Welcome to Cleveland. You are now a
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Browns fan. Luckily, though, it turned around. Because I was
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really in hell for that first week of the season.
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I was like, man, fucking Deshaun Watson sucks on the Browns.
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Cooper Rush is playing quarterback for the Falcons. I had
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to root for both those bitch-ass teams week one. But luckily,
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Deshaun Watson decided that he wanted to be Deshaun Watson
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from Houston minus the rape allegations. What murder? Because now
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he's playing good, so we just overlooked that. Now, you know,
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when he was sucking, it was, this guy's a rapist.
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And now he's winning games, and it's allegedly. See how
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winning changes everything? And apparently the Falcons did just need
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a quarterback. Michael Penix, Michael Penis came back Thursday. Yeah,
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that was Thursday night football. Man, the Falcons look good. Bijan,
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Drake London, defense was playing awesome. It was good, bro.
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It was good. I needed a little pick-me-up, though, because
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this past month I had three shows get canceled in
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a week, like three comedy shows, and then you have
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to go watch the Browns and the Falcons play football
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in week one, and you're like, this is not good.
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We need something to change. But it's tough, like when
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shows get canceled. It's like getting excited for Christmas. You're like,
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I'm going to get all these presents. Then you wake
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up on Christmas morning, and you forgot you're a Jehovah's Witness.
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Get out there. Go knock on some doors. The show
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that didn't get canceled, though, my reward was interesting. Don't
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laugh at that. James is sitting here doing work while
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I am make-believing. Yeah, Ames is my backer. I'm funded
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by a Fortune 500 company over there. Get back to work.
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Don't be listening to me. Got lights to keep on
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in this bitch. No, but the one show this month
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that didn't get canceled, it was crazy. So it was
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in Carrollton, Ohio, and I had never heard of that
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city before. So I was like, you know, small city
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shows or small town shows, they're normally pretty fun because...
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It always feels like a much bigger deal. Everybody comes
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in and they're all excited because they're like, hey, man,
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there's a hootenanny going on down at the bar. We're
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going to go watch a comedy show. Nine times out
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of ten, everybody is ready to laugh and they're super fun.
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So if you ever have an opportunity to do a
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small town comedy show, if you're a comic, go do it.
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Or if you're listening to this and you live in
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a small town and you see a comedy show coming through,
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go to it. It's fun. But just make sure everybody
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knows what kind of comedy show it is. Because I
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just thought it was a regular one. I was like, okay,
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I'm going to go tell my dirty ass dark jokes.
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And two days before the show, I get a call
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from the owner of the venue that was having the show.
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And he goes, hey, man, how's it going? You know,
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super excited to have a comedy show here. We've only
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had improv here before. So we're hoping this goes off
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really well. Just wanted to, you know, double check and
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make sure that the people that booked this told you
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it's a family-friendly show. And I was like, nope. First
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time hearing about it. What do you mean family-friendly? He
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was like, oh, well, we're going to have kids there.
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To a comedy show? There's no reason to have kids
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at a comedy show, man. Their life's awesome. There's nothing
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for them to like feel any pain about so that
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they can laugh at something that's a little dark and
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find the humor in it. These kids, their lives are
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fucking awesome. What are you bringing them to a standup
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comedy show for? But I was like, okay, so like,
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kids like teenagers. He was like, no, like six year olds.
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I was like, bro, just go hire the Avengers. Get
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somebody in a costume. Come dress as Spider-Man to run
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through and dance around for an hour. They like that
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much more than a stand up comedy show. But anyway,
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I tell the other comics are about as happy as
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I am. And so like all week just trying to
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figure out like, OK, what what family friend, what jokes
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could I tell at at the Nickelodeon kids choice awards
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you know what i mean like that's that's what i'm
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thinking and no dan schneider jokes but get there and
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apparently the uh family friendly show wasn't relayed to even
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most of the customers because like all of us comics
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were kind of like huddled up outside going over a
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game plan like hey you think this will work blah
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blah blah i'm gonna do this and this guy walks
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up he goes you guys are comedians we're like yeah
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He was like, hope you're funny. And I was like, yeah,
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me too. And he goes, what do you mean? I
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was like, well, we're trying to figure out what kid
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appropriate jokes we can do in here. Because we just
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found out it's a family friend we showed. He goes,
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who's fucking dumb enough to bring kids to a comedy show?
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I was like, thank you, sir. Thank you. So he
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was there expecting an actual comedy show. And even worse,
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it was at an ice cream shop and a coffee shop.
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It was like, The venue was they sold ice cream
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and coffee. And I thought they were going to do
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it like, you know, they have those don't tell comedy
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shows where, you know, you can pay for like a
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one time liquor license or something or bring a bartender
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in and you can sell booze at the show. No,
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they didn't do that. They're like, yeah, let's get everybody
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jacked up on caffeine, getting brain freeze, eating ice cream,
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no alcohol. So we're going to be listening to family
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friendly jokes sober. I was like, okay, this is going
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to go very well. And it went about as well
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as it could have gone. I mean, it went kind
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of like I was thinking it was going to go.
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Half the room was pissed that it was family-friendly because
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they wanted to hear some actual jokes. And then the
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other half that were accumulation of six, seven-year-olds. Six, seven?
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They weren't even paying attention. Don't you me. They weren't
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even paying attention. You want to know why? Because children
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do not give a fuck about stand-up comedy. Their wives
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are awesome, dude. Oh, shit. That's not a home run,
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is it? Foul ball? Bryce Harper almost had a two-run
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home run in the top of the sixth. Thank God
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that was foul, man. The fans just threw the ball
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back at the umpire, too. That's crazy. But, yeah, it
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was just one of those interesting gigs, but glad it's done.
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Speaking of interesting, uh, shows. I was working at the
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comedy club the other weekend. There were two shows going
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on at the same time, one of the main room
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and one of the upstairs room. And one of the
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shows was like super liberal. And the other one was
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super conservative. And I'm talking about like, not just like
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liberal or conservative slant. I'm talking about, you popped in
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there and it sounded like a rally was going on,
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like one of those. And, I felt so bad. Like
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I laughed, like I couldn't help it just because the
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situation was funny. So this one lady comes in late
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to one of the shows that I was standing in
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and she's like crying. She was like, is this so-and-so show?
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And we were like, yeah. She was like, I've been
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in the wrong show all night. Yeah. And she sat
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down and she was like crying. And the only reason
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it was funny, one, she's an idiot because there's signs
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everywhere that literally hold your hand and point you where
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you need to go. But two, she couldn't have been
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at a more different show for what she thought she
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was getting in. And I was asking the bartender at
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the other show, I was like, hey, did you see
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that lady? And he goes, yeah, bro. She came out
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like almost crying and she goes, Is this so-and-so show?
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And I go, no, it's downstairs. She goes, I'm in
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the wrong show. You know what? The first two comedians
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were pretty good, but that last comedian was so mean.
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It was great, man. And the funniest part was one
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of the shows went a little longer than it should
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have because normally we try and stagger them so that
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one crowd can leave. uh, before the other crowd. So
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there's not, you know, traffic in the club, but, um,
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one of the shows went a little longer. So the
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crowds got out at the same time and I was like,
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oh shit, this is about to be bloods versus crips
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right here. Like the two comics even walked down and
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they knew each other and they were just chopping it up, smiling.
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And I wanted to be like, you guys are fucking phonies, dude.
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I was popping into each show and just kind of
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like sitting and listening to what they were talking about.
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And they're like, and the right needs to be stopped.
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And what we're going to do, we're done being nice.
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We need to do something. Action. Like, not a comedy show.
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Straight up political rally. And then I go to the
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conservative show and he's like, these fucking liberals are fucking
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pussies and they're holding up this country. And then after
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the show, they go shake hands like, we just made
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so much money, didn't we? Oh, yes, we did. And
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I just want to be like, you guys are bitches. Also,
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they were like clap comedians. Like they weren't, neither one
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of them was telling jokes. They were just saying shit
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that they believed. And then the crowd would clap at
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the punchline. You're not telling jokes, dude. You're just saying
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shit that people already agree with. Hey. I like the
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color blue. Oh, yes. I also like the color blue. Yay.
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I like the color red. Oh, I like the color
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red too. Yay. You're not telling any fucking jokes, dude.
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Like if you want to have like a political slant,
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that's fine. But still do the magic trick, man. Pull
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a rabbit out of a hat. Like have people thinking
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it's going this way, pulling back and go the other way.
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That's the fucking joke. You're just up there going, I believe.
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The things that you believe. And everybody applauds. And you're like,
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you get paid to do. Bro, go be a shitty politician, okay?
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This is supposed to be jokes. We're in a comedy club.
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You need to get out there and do something. You
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need to go get a fucking tie and go up
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to Congress and do something if you're going to talk
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like that, bro. Fucking clap comedians, bro. Like, you know,
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make your money. That's fine. But I just... I don't know.
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Those kind of people get on my nerves. Because, first
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of all, they're the worst kind of people to hang
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around with at the club because they want to, first
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of all, act like they're comics, which they're not. And, two,
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they want to just, like, be super serious about everything.
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I'm like, bro, we're telling jokes, man. If you can
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figure out a way to weave what you think into
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your jokes and they're still jokes, good for you. If
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you're just going up there and reading shit off Facebook
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and Twitter, you're a hack, bro. You suck, bro. All right,
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got that out of my system. Sorry, I've been feeling
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a little weird lately. Like, do you ever watch something
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that makes you feel weird for a while? Like, first
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time me and Ames watched Interstellar, we watched it. I think, Ames,
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we started that movie at, like, 7 o'clock at night.
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Do you remember?
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What?
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Yeah, we had to go outside, walk around because we
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were like, I feel weird. I feel kind of sad.
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Like it was thought provoking and that's not what I
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was expecting from a movie. We had to go walk
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off the weird feeling. Like I watched the AI documentary
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on Netflix and it was tough, man. Like I would
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never do it, but there was a small part of
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my brain while I was watching this just telling me,
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you know what, just go ahead and kill yourself if
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this is what the future's like. If you have kids,
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I would not recommend watching that documentary. It was tough. Basically,
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the whole point of the documentary is they're breaking down
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what AI can and can't be. Basically, AI can be
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a good thing as long as it's used responsibly, but
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The problem we're running into is the people that run
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our planet are fucking psychopaths that don't give a shit
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about you and me. So who knows? Like right now,
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what all these AI companies in the U.S. and in
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China are racing to do is to get to artificial
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general intelligence. Like right now we have artificial intelligence. That's like.
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Some people are still smarter than computers. Artificial general intelligence
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is basically like these AI models are basically the smartest
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things on the planet. There might be, you know, a percent,
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1% of the human population that's smarter than them, but
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they're really good. So once you get to AGI, you
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basically control the planet. So that's why All these data
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centers are getting put into these small towns, even though
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the people in the community are saying no to it
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because the AI companies are paying off these small town politicians.
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Get out of here. Get out of here. Oh, shit.
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He didn't catch it. Oh, he's fumbling around. This could
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be inside the park home run.
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Come on.
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You're going to stay at third? Yep, triple. Ozzie Albies,
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and he brought a run in. 2-1 Braves, bottom of
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the sixth. Let's go! Woo! Ames, are you hyped? Yeah,
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she's not giving a fuck about baseball. Anyway, so these
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AI companies are paying off these small-town politicians to just
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be like, all right, does everybody want a data center here? No. Well,
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I heard yes, so we're going to approve this data
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center plan. Because the AI companies in America are racing China,
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and China doesn't have to have town hall assembly meetings going, hey,
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do we all want these data centers? They're just like,
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you know what? Actually, this is a national priority, so
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we can do whatever we want, and we also don't
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have to worry about any of the guardrails. So, beans,
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get away from pig's food bowl. Come on. Doing a podcast.
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Get on it. Our fat fucking cats trying to eat
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our slightly less fat fucking cats' food. Because Beans will
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eat his whole food in about 30 seconds. Pig eats
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about half to three-fourths of her dinner and then, you know,
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goes and takes a nap and then wakes up from
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the nap and then eats the rest of it. She's
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just got a little tummy. Anyway. Yeah, so these AI
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companies are racing to... get the artificial general intelligence first
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because whoever gets there first basically runs the world. Now,
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what they're saying is you got to get there quicker,
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but that also takes away the safety aspect of it
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by saying, well, you know, we could mess up and
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AI could basically decide that humans don't need to be
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here because it might look at climate change or just
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the General resource usage that we do on this planet.
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We are running out of apples. Who eats the most
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amount of apples? Humans. Get rid of the humans. Like,
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that's the kind of shit it could do. And it
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could also, hack in to government's nuclear buttons or create
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a bioweapon. They're running through all the possibilities. But on
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the flip side, if it goes well, then we could
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live in a utopia and we don't have to work.
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You'll just have your robot that has that. AGI in
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it go work for you and you get to live
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like how the Europeans live now and you know drink
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wine at one o'clock in the afternoon and then take
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a nap and wake up and go have dinner for
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seven hours and not give up your seat I'm just
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00:20:25.589 --> 00:20:31.549
saying they said there's a good chance that it doesn't
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work out and the reason there's a good chance that
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00:20:33.930 --> 00:20:38.380
it doesn't work out is because the top people that
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00:20:38.460 --> 00:20:41.650
are in control of it are fucking psycho. So it's
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one of those things where I had to like, just
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get up and walk around for a little while. And
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then it stayed with me for a couple of days.
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And Ames was like, well, how about we don't watch
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00:20:53.150 --> 00:20:56.299
this anymore? Okay. And I was like, yeah, that's probably smart.
334
00:20:56.759 --> 00:20:59.299
Cause you can only worry about the moment you're in
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right now. Right. That's all you can control. Anyway, let's
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00:21:03.660 --> 00:21:05.140
get your headline of the week and then we'll get
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to this, uh, Interview with comedian Ryan Hamilton. The CIA
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00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:17.140
is accused of using Ancestry.com and 23andMe to hunt down
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alien bloodlines in millions of DNA tests. I've never seen
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00:21:24.549 --> 00:21:26.730
a more made-up headline. You mean to tell me the
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00:21:26.789 --> 00:21:30.150
CIA doesn't know where the reptilians are? Come on. What
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00:21:30.170 --> 00:21:33.869
do you think they're looking for? We're looking for E.T.
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00:21:34.450 --> 00:21:39.130
Are they? Or... Is X-Men real? And they're trying to
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00:21:39.190 --> 00:21:42.529
hunt down Wolverine and Jean Grey and Cyclops and make
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sure that they don't rise up and stop the data
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centers from being built. And let China win. We can't
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have that. We've got to get these dirty, nasty mutants
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out of here. Only Hugh Jackman can save us. Okay,
349
00:21:59.960 --> 00:22:04.059
let's get to this interview with comedian Ryan Hamilton. What's
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00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:04.660
going on, bro?
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00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:08.160
Hey, man. I'm not much. I'm good. Everything's great.
352
00:22:08.440 --> 00:22:10.799
I bet, man. You just dropped a new special. It's
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doing pretty well on Netflix right now. This just hit me.
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How's it feeling kind of like, you know, shooting the
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special and getting to sit back and go, oh, this worked?
356
00:22:21.589 --> 00:22:23.710
It's been, uh, it's been a whirlwind, you know, it's,
357
00:22:23.869 --> 00:22:25.529
it takes a lot of work to get these things
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out and then just to, uh, get the thing made
359
00:22:28.619 --> 00:22:31.599
and then, you know, get it edited. And then you
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sit back and like you said, go, okay, what do
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00:22:34.140 --> 00:22:38.569
people think? And it's a little scary. Uh, and you
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hear from all sorts of people and, um, but I'm
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pretty happy with it. And, uh, I think the response
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has been overwhelmingly pretty positive. It's such an interesting topic
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that I tried to tackle, you know, and so it's
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been fun to hear from people.
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00:22:55.789 --> 00:22:58.849
Well, I got to ask, because so for people who
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don't know, you got hit by a bus, which not
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many people get to get hit by a bus and
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live to tell jokes about it. But Was your first
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00:23:09.099 --> 00:23:11.339
instinct to go, huh, I just got hit by a bus.
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00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:14.369
I got a new bit out of this. Or what happened, dude?
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It was more like I'm going to have to talk
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about this. Like there's no escaping it. You know, it
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00:23:20.089 --> 00:23:23.650
was just such a big event in my life. And honestly,
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00:23:23.750 --> 00:23:25.049
I was a bit embarrassed because.
377
00:23:24.970 --> 00:23:27.480
It was such a– You didn't see it coming?
378
00:23:27.519 --> 00:23:31.000
Yeah. Yeah, it's like– well, I was just like this
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00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:34.529
is a thing that we– it's like so cliché. To
380
00:23:34.549 --> 00:23:37.140
get it like once you get we reference it all
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the time in culture.
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Right.
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You realize it doesn't happen all the time, but it's
384
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the thing. There's so many ways to die. And for
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00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:46.079
whatever reason, we always go with you got to live
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00:23:46.099 --> 00:23:48.269
your life. You might get hit by a bus. Why
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00:23:48.349 --> 00:23:51.230
is that the thing? And that's the thing that happened
388
00:23:51.289 --> 00:23:51.589
to me.
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00:23:51.849 --> 00:23:53.109
You know, that's crazy.
390
00:23:53.130 --> 00:23:53.549
That was.
391
00:23:54.029 --> 00:23:57.569
Yeah. Did you spend all your money every single day
392
00:23:57.609 --> 00:23:59.150
like you were going to get hit by a bus
393
00:23:59.190 --> 00:24:01.420
and then you're kind of disappointed when you lived or.
394
00:24:04.029 --> 00:24:07.990
No i i i money was just like uh it
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00:24:08.029 --> 00:24:10.859
was such a you know we've it was just not
396
00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:14.279
even a consideration fortunately i just was like i gotta
397
00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:16.559
get my life back that's all i'm thinking about.
398
00:24:16.599 --> 00:24:19.109
Well that's good man i'm i'm super glad you survived
399
00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:21.789
because you are hilarious and i meant to like ask
400
00:24:21.829 --> 00:24:24.809
because you did mention that specials take a long time
401
00:24:25.309 --> 00:24:28.900
to make and get done Your first special that I
402
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:33.339
saw on Netflix way back in 2017, Happy Face, that
403
00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:36.839
was hilarious, but then it's almost been 10 years since
404
00:24:36.859 --> 00:24:39.799
you put out another special. Was that just like a
405
00:24:39.859 --> 00:24:42.740
tactical thing? Was that by design, or were you just
406
00:24:42.789 --> 00:24:45.849
trying to work your way back up? What was that process?
407
00:24:46.329 --> 00:24:49.210
No, it certainly wasn't tactical. It certainly wasn't by design.
408
00:24:49.230 --> 00:24:55.140
I just do what I can, man. I was ready
409
00:24:55.180 --> 00:24:58.880
to go right before COVID, and then COVID happened, and
410
00:24:59.299 --> 00:25:01.859
everything shut down, and I was trying to figure out
411
00:25:01.880 --> 00:25:04.059
how my way back. This was one of my first
412
00:25:04.119 --> 00:25:08.339
gigs back, actually, was when this happened. I was flying
413
00:25:08.400 --> 00:25:10.789
from Hawaii to LAX on a corporate gig at the
414
00:25:10.809 --> 00:25:14.829
very end of COVID. January 1st of 2022 is when
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00:25:14.869 --> 00:25:15.410
this happened.
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00:25:15.509 --> 00:25:16.009
New Year's Day.
417
00:25:16.029 --> 00:25:19.539
Oh, man. And it was at the height of the
418
00:25:19.660 --> 00:25:23.059
Omicron variant when everybody kind of went back. And then
419
00:25:23.079 --> 00:25:26.640
I was in a hotel for 10 days with COVID
420
00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:27.440
on my way home.
421
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:31.519
Life was trying to get you out of here.
422
00:25:31.579 --> 00:25:37.000
Yeah, exactly. And my first day out was January 1.
423
00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:38.839
And that's when this happened. I was walking to pick
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00:25:38.900 --> 00:25:41.720
up a rental car, hit the button, watch the light turn.
425
00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:44.539
And I started walking and this bus ran a light.
426
00:25:45.380 --> 00:25:48.289
and was making a left and didn't see me. And
427
00:25:49.609 --> 00:25:52.910
so then, you know, I just came back from COVID
428
00:25:52.950 --> 00:25:54.710
and then I move all my tour dates that had
429
00:25:54.730 --> 00:25:56.869
already been moved a couple of times. I moved them
430
00:25:56.950 --> 00:25:59.640
out about six, eight months, even a year. So then
431
00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:02.700
I'm like dealing with this new material, this thing that
432
00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:05.240
happened to me after a six month recovery. And then
433
00:26:05.299 --> 00:26:07.519
I felt like I just have to talk about this.
434
00:26:07.579 --> 00:26:11.630
So it shaped my whole act differently. I got it
435
00:26:11.690 --> 00:26:13.869
all together, and then I was trying to sell it,
436
00:26:13.950 --> 00:26:15.809
and it was tough. I couldn't get it sold for
437
00:26:15.829 --> 00:26:19.130
a while. So it takes time. It takes time to
438
00:26:19.170 --> 00:26:21.230
get this stuff out there, and I'm slow anyway, so
439
00:26:21.710 --> 00:26:22.369
that's what happened.
440
00:26:22.750 --> 00:26:26.569
Well, I'm glad you made it back and Netflix finally
441
00:26:26.589 --> 00:26:29.990
got it because it's hilarious, dude. Your bit about how
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00:26:30.059 --> 00:26:33.480
historians are going to look back on this era of
443
00:26:33.539 --> 00:26:36.750
the human race and be like, what happened? They stopped. Yeah,
444
00:26:37.210 --> 00:26:40.740
it's it's super like little things that you just like
445
00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:42.779
listen to and you go. That's the smartest thing I've
446
00:26:42.819 --> 00:26:45.339
ever heard. Like where you're talking about. Oh, yeah, we
447
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:47.640
just count our individual steps and we're trying to get
448
00:26:47.660 --> 00:26:51.269
to 10,000 for some reason. Like that, that's like, I
449
00:26:51.890 --> 00:26:55.009
hope you know how like genius that is. I mean,
450
00:26:55.029 --> 00:26:57.450
you know, you're good, but like when you hear something
451
00:26:57.470 --> 00:26:58.859
like that, you're like, dude, it was right there the
452
00:26:58.880 --> 00:26:59.900
whole time. You know what I mean?
453
00:27:00.259 --> 00:27:03.039
Oh, that's nice, man. I really appreciate that.
454
00:27:03.099 --> 00:27:03.240
Yeah.
455
00:27:03.259 --> 00:27:06.299
Those are the gigs. Those are the bits that we
456
00:27:06.339 --> 00:27:09.859
really look for. Like, you know, they're floating around everywhere.
457
00:27:09.960 --> 00:27:12.380
You know, they're there and you just got to find
458
00:27:12.400 --> 00:27:13.670
them and they're elusive.
459
00:27:15.019 --> 00:27:16.680
They are. But when you get them, man, I was
460
00:27:16.740 --> 00:27:19.160
watching that. I was like, oh, OK. Yeah. Modern day
461
00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:24.640
philosopher nailed it, dude. Now you're you're coming to coming
462
00:27:24.660 --> 00:27:26.430
to town in October. You're going to be at Clues
463
00:27:26.470 --> 00:27:31.069
Memorial Hall the 23rd of October. And you are a
464
00:27:31.109 --> 00:27:34.470
clean comic, so everybody can come from five years old
465
00:27:34.490 --> 00:27:37.609
to 75 years old. Everybody can come through. And I
466
00:27:37.970 --> 00:27:41.079
was kind of mentioning like the genius of your act earlier.
467
00:27:41.140 --> 00:27:44.319
But a lot of people don't understand how tough it
468
00:27:44.440 --> 00:27:47.480
is to be funny as a clean comedian and do
469
00:27:47.539 --> 00:27:51.039
it to the level of you, Seinfeld, Bargatze. Like, was
470
00:27:51.059 --> 00:27:53.940
that a conscious move to make or you're like, no,
471
00:27:53.960 --> 00:27:56.170
I'm just from Idaho. I don't like cursing.
472
00:27:57.079 --> 00:27:59.140
Well, it's kind of a mixture of both. I never
473
00:27:59.180 --> 00:28:01.640
really curse all that often. I mean, I admit it
474
00:28:01.740 --> 00:28:03.960
comes out once in a while, but it's like if
475
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:06.130
you're 95% there, you might as well be 100% in
476
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:07.529
your act.
477
00:28:07.670 --> 00:28:08.869
You know what I mean? Right.
478
00:28:08.970 --> 00:28:11.450
So it's kind of like the voice chooses you more
479
00:28:11.470 --> 00:28:15.430
than you choose it. So that's how it comes. I mean,
480
00:28:15.750 --> 00:28:18.049
you know, I was trying to be in the beginning
481
00:28:18.829 --> 00:28:22.109
more like absurdist, like Mitch Hedberg, Stephen Wright kind of stuff.
482
00:28:22.190 --> 00:28:25.789
And eventually I found out who I am. But And, yeah,
483
00:28:26.089 --> 00:28:31.009
you know, that's where I landed. And it's a process,
484
00:28:31.390 --> 00:28:32.789
I would say, more than a decision.
485
00:28:33.069 --> 00:28:35.839
I got you. That makes sense. I mean, you're, like,
486
00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:40.039
definitely one of the top all-time clean comedians. You're on
487
00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:42.500
the road with Seinfeld and Bargatze. You get to pop
488
00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:45.380
on their tours as well. I do need to ask you, though,
489
00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:48.730
have you ever done a DNA test with Jerry Seinfeld?
490
00:28:49.970 --> 00:28:51.230
You look like him, dude.
491
00:28:51.910 --> 00:28:56.660
Yeah, I get it. People are constantly going– they think
492
00:28:56.720 --> 00:28:59.039
I'm ripping them off or they think I sound like them.
493
00:28:59.059 --> 00:29:02.299
They think I look like them. Jerry and I– I
494
00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:04.460
used to– way, way back before I ever knew Jerry,
495
00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:06.180
before I even lived in New York, I had a
496
00:29:06.220 --> 00:29:10.019
joke on Last Comic Standing that said– people say I
497
00:29:10.039 --> 00:29:13.359
look like the illegitimate son of Jerry and Elaine or
498
00:29:13.380 --> 00:29:14.720
a white Chris Rock.
499
00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:15.460
That's hilarious.
500
00:29:15.500 --> 00:29:18.299
People forget that I put Chris Rock in there. But,
501
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:22.799
you know, I actually had breakfast with Jerry yesterday and
502
00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:25.240
he goes, how's the special going? And he always wants
503
00:29:25.259 --> 00:29:27.359
to know. He's so influential with this special, by the way.
504
00:29:27.400 --> 00:29:29.640
He came up with the title. So we had lots
505
00:29:29.700 --> 00:29:33.069
of conversations over the years about the development of this material.
506
00:29:33.130 --> 00:29:35.549
He says, what's the reception? I go, you know, as always,
507
00:29:35.609 --> 00:29:39.950
I'm getting so many people going. This guy's Jerry Seinfeld.
508
00:29:40.039 --> 00:29:42.519
or a mixture of jerry seinfeld and whatever or you
509
00:29:42.539 --> 00:29:46.380
know right and he goes i go you know i'm
510
00:29:46.440 --> 00:29:48.599
sorry i get i don't know because it's just because
511
00:29:48.940 --> 00:29:50.839
you have a bunch of solid jokes and i have
512
00:29:50.859 --> 00:29:53.319
a bunch of solid jokes just because we're good dude
513
00:29:53.740 --> 00:29:55.009
yeah yeah yeah.
514
00:29:56.299 --> 00:29:59.119
I would just ask Jerry where he was in Idaho.
515
00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:02.859
Have you ever stopped through? Because that was the first
516
00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:05.460
time when I watched Happy Face, I was like, yeah, dude,
517
00:30:05.509 --> 00:30:09.130
this guy looks like Jerry Seinfeld's kid. That's crazy. But
518
00:30:09.470 --> 00:30:12.269
it's super cool that you get to do your own thing.
519
00:30:12.369 --> 00:30:14.329
You're a huge comedian in your own right, and then
520
00:30:14.369 --> 00:30:17.940
you also get to pop on and be on Seinfeld shows,
521
00:30:18.019 --> 00:30:21.539
Borgatti shows. In your career, because you've obviously had an
522
00:30:21.619 --> 00:30:24.170
interesting one, Has there been a moment where you kind
523
00:30:24.210 --> 00:30:26.369
of looked around and you thought this is the coolest
524
00:30:26.410 --> 00:30:28.630
thing I've ever gotten to do or I can't believe
525
00:30:28.670 --> 00:30:31.529
they're letting me do this type of thing? Oh, yeah.
526
00:30:31.650 --> 00:30:35.970
All the time. Constantly. I mean, yeah, it's amazing. You know,
527
00:30:36.349 --> 00:30:38.059
I can't believe my life. I grew up in a
528
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:41.079
little town in Idaho. I live in New York City
529
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.059
in Manhattan doing comedy shows. You know, I live across
530
00:30:44.099 --> 00:30:46.380
the street from Seinfeld now. We hang out. It's like,
531
00:30:46.460 --> 00:30:49.640
you know, I grew up watching that sitcom and going,
532
00:30:49.740 --> 00:30:51.240
and then I go, we go sit down in a
533
00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:52.819
diner and Jerry's across from me.
534
00:30:52.839 --> 00:30:55.880
And I'm like, I'm George right now. This is crazy.
535
00:30:56.990 --> 00:31:00.390
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
536
00:31:00.690 --> 00:31:03.440
That's awesome, man. We're super excited for you to get here.
537
00:31:03.779 --> 00:31:06.720
By the way, I'm trying my best to knock off
538
00:31:06.799 --> 00:31:10.940
the Dallas Cowboys cheerleader show out of Netflix's top five.
539
00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:13.670
I know you're worried about passing that one up, but
540
00:31:14.410 --> 00:31:16.849
I'm trying to do my best and hit and rewatch that.
541
00:31:17.410 --> 00:31:20.529
This just hit me. Thanks, man. If you need something
542
00:31:20.569 --> 00:31:23.589
to do this week, go on Netflix, watch This Just
543
00:31:23.650 --> 00:31:27.410
Hit Me. Very funny, Ryan Hamilton. Get your tickets, Clues
544
00:31:27.450 --> 00:31:31.730
Memorial Hall, October the 23rd. Ryan, is there anything else
545
00:31:31.750 --> 00:31:33.109
you want to promote before I let you get out
546
00:31:33.130 --> 00:31:33.309
of here?
547
00:31:34.230 --> 00:31:37.109
No, I think that's it, man. I really appreciate it. Yeah,
548
00:31:37.369 --> 00:31:38.329
I really appreciate it.
549
00:31:38.509 --> 00:31:40.970
Well, no problem, man. I wish you continued success. Keep
550
00:31:41.019 --> 00:31:45.960
murdering and hopefully look both ways a little more closely
551
00:31:45.980 --> 00:31:47.019
when you're crossing the street.
552
00:31:47.940 --> 00:31:48.779
Good advice.
553
00:31:48.819 --> 00:31:52.069
Have a good one, bro. Thanks.
1
00:00:01.820 --> 00:00:08.990
Why are you still speaking that thought should not have
2
00:00:09.050 --> 00:00:12.400
made it to the rest of us this is inside
3
00:00:12.439 --> 00:00:13.820
thoughts with nick.
4
00:00:13.759 --> 00:00:16.910
Jordan Check, check, check.
5
00:00:17.089 --> 00:00:21.010
One, two, three. Welcome back to Inside Thoughts. Appreciate you
6
00:00:21.070 --> 00:00:25.589
pressing play and listening to me when you definitely had
7
00:00:25.609 --> 00:00:27.670
some better shit to be doing. I got a cool
8
00:00:27.710 --> 00:00:29.890
interview for you at the end of the podcast with
9
00:00:29.949 --> 00:00:34.479
comedian Ryan Hamilton. He's going to be at Clues Memorial
10
00:00:34.520 --> 00:00:38.439
Hall in Indianapolis in a couple weeks, October 23rd. Super
11
00:00:38.500 --> 00:00:41.380
funny dude, but you'll hear that, so go get your tickets.
12
00:00:41.420 --> 00:00:44.899
Go find him. How you doing, man? Hopefully you're having
13
00:00:44.920 --> 00:00:50.539
a good week. I'm currently watching the Braves and the
14
00:00:50.659 --> 00:00:54.280
Phillies in this wild card game. It's one-to-one, bottom of
15
00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:58.079
the fifth. So if I get irrationally angry or happy
16
00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:00.719
in the middle of this for seemingly no reason, something
17
00:01:00.780 --> 00:01:03.829
happened in the game. Also, I don't, like, understand why
18
00:01:04.700 --> 00:01:10.010
we're having playoff games at fucking 2 o'clock on a weekday.
19
00:01:11.950 --> 00:01:16.000
I'm pretty positive– Rob Manfred actually hates baseball. I can't
20
00:01:16.060 --> 00:01:18.620
prove it, but he just does so much shit like, hey,
21
00:01:18.640 --> 00:01:20.739
can I watch a game? Yeah, but we're going to
22
00:01:20.780 --> 00:01:24.000
make you jump through 72 hoops just to see your
23
00:01:24.140 --> 00:01:28.409
in-town team. It's like, why are you doing that? Back
24
00:01:28.439 --> 00:01:30.829
when I was a kid, it was easy as shit
25
00:01:30.849 --> 00:01:35.640
to watch baseball games. And now you've got to download
26
00:01:35.640 --> 00:01:39.400
72 apps. Luckily, all these playoff games are going to
27
00:01:39.420 --> 00:01:41.530
be on big networks, so as long as you've got, like,
28
00:01:41.560 --> 00:01:47.790
YouTube TV or Peacock, you'll be all right. But I
29
00:01:47.829 --> 00:01:52.450
don't understand the 2 o'clock wildcard start time. Like, just
30
00:01:52.510 --> 00:01:58.750
have it at 7 o'clock. You're going to have alternating days.
31
00:01:58.769 --> 00:02:01.870
You can stretch it out. Like, it's September 29th. It's
32
00:02:01.930 --> 00:02:07.299
not even October. It's time for October baseball. It's, it's
33
00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:10.199
not October yet. And we're rushing these games for what?
34
00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:13.539
I don't know, man, but it is what it is.
35
00:02:13.620 --> 00:02:16.710
It is a cool time of year though. College football's back.
36
00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:23.050
NFL's back. MLB playoffs are going on. NBA's getting closer
37
00:02:23.090 --> 00:02:26.129
to starting. It's a good time for sports, man. But
38
00:02:27.110 --> 00:02:31.469
I was, uh, I was feeling bad for Falcons fans.
39
00:02:31.610 --> 00:02:34.189
The first couple of weeks of the season, they, uh,
40
00:02:35.469 --> 00:02:38.789
We had Cooper Rush out there twice, and it was
41
00:02:38.830 --> 00:02:42.889
just not fun to watch. Falcons fans, like my buddies
42
00:02:43.030 --> 00:02:46.409
in Atlanta, we were talking about it. They were slowly
43
00:02:46.969 --> 00:02:50.349
turning into Cleveland Browns fans, just the way they were talking.
44
00:02:50.870 --> 00:02:53.560
Just start the rookie, man. Even if he sucks, it'll
45
00:02:53.590 --> 00:02:56.319
be more fun to watch than Cooper Rush. We're just
46
00:02:56.419 --> 00:02:59.319
QB away, dude. We got the weapons on offense. We
47
00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:02.000
got the defense. Welcome to Cleveland. You are now a
48
00:03:02.039 --> 00:03:07.870
Browns fan. Luckily, though, it turned around. Because I was
49
00:03:08.909 --> 00:03:11.310
really in hell for that first week of the season.
50
00:03:11.330 --> 00:03:15.490
I was like, man, fucking Deshaun Watson sucks on the Browns.
51
00:03:16.930 --> 00:03:20.550
Cooper Rush is playing quarterback for the Falcons. I had
52
00:03:20.569 --> 00:03:24.870
to root for both those bitch-ass teams week one. But luckily,
53
00:03:25.830 --> 00:03:29.949
Deshaun Watson decided that he wanted to be Deshaun Watson
54
00:03:30.330 --> 00:03:38.250
from Houston minus the rape allegations. What murder? Because now
55
00:03:38.270 --> 00:03:41.689
he's playing good, so we just overlooked that. Now, you know,
56
00:03:41.909 --> 00:03:46.009
when he was sucking, it was, this guy's a rapist.
57
00:03:46.409 --> 00:03:50.340
And now he's winning games, and it's allegedly. See how
58
00:03:50.479 --> 00:03:54.300
winning changes everything? And apparently the Falcons did just need
59
00:03:54.319 --> 00:04:01.099
a quarterback. Michael Penix, Michael Penis came back Thursday. Yeah,
60
00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:06.090
that was Thursday night football. Man, the Falcons look good. Bijan,
61
00:04:06.150 --> 00:04:09.530
Drake London, defense was playing awesome. It was good, bro.
62
00:04:09.939 --> 00:04:12.099
It was good. I needed a little pick-me-up, though, because
63
00:04:12.860 --> 00:04:19.339
this past month I had three shows get canceled in
64
00:04:19.379 --> 00:04:22.379
a week, like three comedy shows, and then you have
65
00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:25.019
to go watch the Browns and the Falcons play football
66
00:04:25.670 --> 00:04:29.209
in week one, and you're like, this is not good.
67
00:04:29.290 --> 00:04:33.889
We need something to change. But it's tough, like when
68
00:04:33.949 --> 00:04:38.300
shows get canceled. It's like getting excited for Christmas. You're like,
69
00:04:38.360 --> 00:04:41.100
I'm going to get all these presents. Then you wake
70
00:04:41.139 --> 00:04:44.620
up on Christmas morning, and you forgot you're a Jehovah's Witness.
71
00:04:44.699 --> 00:04:48.680
Get out there. Go knock on some doors. The show
72
00:04:48.699 --> 00:04:55.870
that didn't get canceled, though, my reward was interesting. Don't
73
00:04:55.910 --> 00:05:00.930
laugh at that. James is sitting here doing work while
74
00:05:01.110 --> 00:05:08.399
I am make-believing. Yeah, Ames is my backer. I'm funded
75
00:05:08.439 --> 00:05:11.259
by a Fortune 500 company over there. Get back to work.
76
00:05:11.300 --> 00:05:14.500
Don't be listening to me. Got lights to keep on
77
00:05:14.540 --> 00:05:20.360
in this bitch. No, but the one show this month
78
00:05:20.379 --> 00:05:22.639
that didn't get canceled, it was crazy. So it was
79
00:05:22.699 --> 00:05:25.560
in Carrollton, Ohio, and I had never heard of that
80
00:05:25.639 --> 00:05:30.060
city before. So I was like, you know, small city
81
00:05:30.279 --> 00:05:34.279
shows or small town shows, they're normally pretty fun because...
82
00:05:34.860 --> 00:05:37.639
It always feels like a much bigger deal. Everybody comes
83
00:05:37.759 --> 00:05:40.480
in and they're all excited because they're like, hey, man,
84
00:05:40.800 --> 00:05:43.420
there's a hootenanny going on down at the bar. We're
85
00:05:43.439 --> 00:05:47.000
going to go watch a comedy show. Nine times out
86
00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:51.879
of ten, everybody is ready to laugh and they're super fun.
87
00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:54.920
So if you ever have an opportunity to do a
88
00:05:55.019 --> 00:05:57.689
small town comedy show, if you're a comic, go do it.
89
00:05:57.819 --> 00:05:59.740
Or if you're listening to this and you live in
90
00:05:59.759 --> 00:06:02.750
a small town and you see a comedy show coming through,
91
00:06:02.850 --> 00:06:06.810
go to it. It's fun. But just make sure everybody
92
00:06:06.870 --> 00:06:11.019
knows what kind of comedy show it is. Because I
93
00:06:11.060 --> 00:06:12.920
just thought it was a regular one. I was like, okay,
94
00:06:12.939 --> 00:06:16.560
I'm going to go tell my dirty ass dark jokes.
95
00:06:17.959 --> 00:06:22.259
And two days before the show, I get a call
96
00:06:22.360 --> 00:06:25.329
from the owner of the venue that was having the show.
97
00:06:25.370 --> 00:06:27.810
And he goes, hey, man, how's it going? You know,
98
00:06:27.829 --> 00:06:30.389
super excited to have a comedy show here. We've only
99
00:06:31.029 --> 00:06:33.870
had improv here before. So we're hoping this goes off
100
00:06:33.910 --> 00:06:37.139
really well. Just wanted to, you know, double check and
101
00:06:37.180 --> 00:06:40.579
make sure that the people that booked this told you
102
00:06:40.699 --> 00:06:44.439
it's a family-friendly show. And I was like, nope. First
103
00:06:44.490 --> 00:06:48.050
time hearing about it. What do you mean family-friendly? He
104
00:06:48.089 --> 00:06:50.209
was like, oh, well, we're going to have kids there.
105
00:06:50.889 --> 00:06:55.069
To a comedy show? There's no reason to have kids
106
00:06:55.180 --> 00:06:58.040
at a comedy show, man. Their life's awesome. There's nothing
107
00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:02.009
for them to like feel any pain about so that
108
00:07:02.029 --> 00:07:04.329
they can laugh at something that's a little dark and
109
00:07:04.389 --> 00:07:08.149
find the humor in it. These kids, their lives are
110
00:07:08.189 --> 00:07:10.060
fucking awesome. What are you bringing them to a standup
111
00:07:10.100 --> 00:07:14.399
comedy show for? But I was like, okay, so like,
112
00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:18.750
kids like teenagers. He was like, no, like six year olds.
113
00:07:18.769 --> 00:07:22.730
I was like, bro, just go hire the Avengers. Get
114
00:07:22.769 --> 00:07:25.589
somebody in a costume. Come dress as Spider-Man to run
115
00:07:25.629 --> 00:07:28.410
through and dance around for an hour. They like that
116
00:07:28.589 --> 00:07:31.040
much more than a stand up comedy show. But anyway,
117
00:07:31.500 --> 00:07:33.379
I tell the other comics are about as happy as
118
00:07:33.399 --> 00:07:38.899
I am. And so like all week just trying to
119
00:07:38.939 --> 00:07:42.550
figure out like, OK, what what family friend, what jokes
120
00:07:42.579 --> 00:07:46.980
could I tell at at the Nickelodeon kids choice awards
121
00:07:47.060 --> 00:07:48.759
you know what i mean like that's that's what i'm
122
00:07:48.779 --> 00:07:54.709
thinking and no dan schneider jokes but get there and
123
00:07:54.810 --> 00:08:00.870
apparently the uh family friendly show wasn't relayed to even
124
00:08:01.449 --> 00:08:05.290
most of the customers because like all of us comics
125
00:08:05.310 --> 00:08:07.529
were kind of like huddled up outside going over a
126
00:08:07.550 --> 00:08:09.389
game plan like hey you think this will work blah
127
00:08:09.410 --> 00:08:12.490
blah blah i'm gonna do this and this guy walks
128
00:08:12.569 --> 00:08:15.189
up he goes you guys are comedians we're like yeah
129
00:08:15.670 --> 00:08:17.569
He was like, hope you're funny. And I was like, yeah,
130
00:08:17.610 --> 00:08:18.949
me too. And he goes, what do you mean? I
131
00:08:18.990 --> 00:08:22.689
was like, well, we're trying to figure out what kid
132
00:08:22.829 --> 00:08:26.029
appropriate jokes we can do in here. Because we just
133
00:08:26.069 --> 00:08:27.930
found out it's a family friend we showed. He goes,
134
00:08:28.329 --> 00:08:31.069
who's fucking dumb enough to bring kids to a comedy show?
135
00:08:31.089 --> 00:08:34.740
I was like, thank you, sir. Thank you. So he
136
00:08:34.769 --> 00:08:38.559
was there expecting an actual comedy show. And even worse,
137
00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:42.820
it was at an ice cream shop and a coffee shop.
138
00:08:42.899 --> 00:08:45.850
It was like, The venue was they sold ice cream
139
00:08:45.870 --> 00:08:48.330
and coffee. And I thought they were going to do
140
00:08:48.389 --> 00:08:50.929
it like, you know, they have those don't tell comedy
141
00:08:50.970 --> 00:08:55.580
shows where, you know, you can pay for like a
142
00:08:55.700 --> 00:08:58.539
one time liquor license or something or bring a bartender
143
00:08:58.700 --> 00:09:03.019
in and you can sell booze at the show. No,
144
00:09:03.139 --> 00:09:05.200
they didn't do that. They're like, yeah, let's get everybody
145
00:09:05.299 --> 00:09:09.779
jacked up on caffeine, getting brain freeze, eating ice cream,
146
00:09:09.860 --> 00:09:12.480
no alcohol. So we're going to be listening to family
147
00:09:12.519 --> 00:09:16.370
friendly jokes sober. I was like, okay, this is going
148
00:09:16.389 --> 00:09:19.629
to go very well. And it went about as well
149
00:09:20.250 --> 00:09:23.549
as it could have gone. I mean, it went kind
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of like I was thinking it was going to go.
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Half the room was pissed that it was family-friendly because
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they wanted to hear some actual jokes. And then the
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other half that were accumulation of six, seven-year-olds. Six, seven?
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They weren't even paying attention. Don't you me. They weren't
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even paying attention. You want to know why? Because children
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do not give a fuck about stand-up comedy. Their wives
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are awesome, dude. Oh, shit. That's not a home run,
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is it? Foul ball? Bryce Harper almost had a two-run
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home run in the top of the sixth. Thank God
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that was foul, man. The fans just threw the ball
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back at the umpire, too. That's crazy. But, yeah, it
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was just one of those interesting gigs, but glad it's done.
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Speaking of interesting, uh, shows. I was working at the
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comedy club the other weekend. There were two shows going
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on at the same time, one of the main room
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and one of the upstairs room. And one of the
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shows was like super liberal. And the other one was
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super conservative. And I'm talking about like, not just like
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liberal or conservative slant. I'm talking about, you popped in
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there and it sounded like a rally was going on,
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like one of those. And, I felt so bad. Like
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I laughed, like I couldn't help it just because the
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situation was funny. So this one lady comes in late
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to one of the shows that I was standing in
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and she's like crying. She was like, is this so-and-so show?
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And we were like, yeah. She was like, I've been
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in the wrong show all night. Yeah. And she sat
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down and she was like crying. And the only reason
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it was funny, one, she's an idiot because there's signs
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everywhere that literally hold your hand and point you where
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you need to go. But two, she couldn't have been
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at a more different show for what she thought she
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was getting in. And I was asking the bartender at
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the other show, I was like, hey, did you see
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that lady? And he goes, yeah, bro. She came out
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like almost crying and she goes, Is this so-and-so show?
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And I go, no, it's downstairs. She goes, I'm in
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the wrong show. You know what? The first two comedians
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were pretty good, but that last comedian was so mean.
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It was great, man. And the funniest part was one
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of the shows went a little longer than it should
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have because normally we try and stagger them so that
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one crowd can leave. uh, before the other crowd. So
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there's not, you know, traffic in the club, but, um,
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one of the shows went a little longer. So the
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crowds got out at the same time and I was like,
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oh shit, this is about to be bloods versus crips
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right here. Like the two comics even walked down and
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they knew each other and they were just chopping it up, smiling.
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And I wanted to be like, you guys are fucking phonies, dude.
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I was popping into each show and just kind of
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like sitting and listening to what they were talking about.
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And they're like, and the right needs to be stopped.
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And what we're going to do, we're done being nice.
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We need to do something. Action. Like, not a comedy show.
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Straight up political rally. And then I go to the
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conservative show and he's like, these fucking liberals are fucking
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pussies and they're holding up this country. And then after
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the show, they go shake hands like, we just made
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so much money, didn't we? Oh, yes, we did. And
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I just want to be like, you guys are bitches. Also,
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they were like clap comedians. Like they weren't, neither one
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of them was telling jokes. They were just saying shit
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that they believed. And then the crowd would clap at
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the punchline. You're not telling jokes, dude. You're just saying
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shit that people already agree with. Hey. I like the
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color blue. Oh, yes. I also like the color blue. Yay.
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I like the color red. Oh, I like the color
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red too. Yay. You're not telling any fucking jokes, dude.
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Like if you want to have like a political slant,
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that's fine. But still do the magic trick, man. Pull
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a rabbit out of a hat. Like have people thinking
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it's going this way, pulling back and go the other way.
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That's the fucking joke. You're just up there going, I believe.
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The things that you believe. And everybody applauds. And you're like,
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you get paid to do. Bro, go be a shitty politician, okay?
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This is supposed to be jokes. We're in a comedy club.
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You need to get out there and do something. You
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need to go get a fucking tie and go up
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to Congress and do something if you're going to talk
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like that, bro. Fucking clap comedians, bro. Like, you know,
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make your money. That's fine. But I just... I don't know.
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Those kind of people get on my nerves. Because, first
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of all, they're the worst kind of people to hang
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around with at the club because they want to, first
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of all, act like they're comics, which they're not. And, two,
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they want to just, like, be super serious about everything.
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I'm like, bro, we're telling jokes, man. If you can
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figure out a way to weave what you think into
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your jokes and they're still jokes, good for you. If
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you're just going up there and reading shit off Facebook
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and Twitter, you're a hack, bro. You suck, bro. All right,
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got that out of my system. Sorry, I've been feeling
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a little weird lately. Like, do you ever watch something
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that makes you feel weird for a while? Like, first
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time me and Ames watched Interstellar, we watched it. I think, Ames,
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we started that movie at, like, 7 o'clock at night.
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Do you remember?
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What?
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Yeah, we had to go outside, walk around because we
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were like, I feel weird. I feel kind of sad.
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Like it was thought provoking and that's not what I
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was expecting from a movie. We had to go walk
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off the weird feeling. Like I watched the AI documentary
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on Netflix and it was tough, man. Like I would
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never do it, but there was a small part of
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my brain while I was watching this just telling me,
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you know what, just go ahead and kill yourself if
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this is what the future's like. If you have kids,
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I would not recommend watching that documentary. It was tough. Basically,
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the whole point of the documentary is they're breaking down
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what AI can and can't be. Basically, AI can be
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a good thing as long as it's used responsibly, but
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The problem we're running into is the people that run
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our planet are fucking psychopaths that don't give a shit
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about you and me. So who knows? Like right now,
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what all these AI companies in the U.S. and in
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China are racing to do is to get to artificial
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general intelligence. Like right now we have artificial intelligence. That's like.
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Some people are still smarter than computers. Artificial general intelligence
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is basically like these AI models are basically the smartest
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things on the planet. There might be, you know, a percent,
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1% of the human population that's smarter than them, but
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they're really good. So once you get to AGI, you
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basically control the planet. So that's why All these data
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centers are getting put into these small towns, even though
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the people in the community are saying no to it
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because the AI companies are paying off these small town politicians.
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Get out of here. Get out of here. Oh, shit.
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He didn't catch it. Oh, he's fumbling around. This could
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be inside the park home run.
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Come on.
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You're going to stay at third? Yep, triple. Ozzie Albies,
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and he brought a run in. 2-1 Braves, bottom of
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the sixth. Let's go! Woo! Ames, are you hyped? Yeah,
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she's not giving a fuck about baseball. Anyway, so these
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AI companies are paying off these small-town politicians to just
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be like, all right, does everybody want a data center here? No. Well,
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I heard yes, so we're going to approve this data
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center plan. Because the AI companies in America are racing China,
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and China doesn't have to have town hall assembly meetings going, hey,
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do we all want these data centers? They're just like,
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you know what? Actually, this is a national priority, so
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we can do whatever we want, and we also don't
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have to worry about any of the guardrails. So, beans,
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get away from pig's food bowl. Come on. Doing a podcast.
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Get on it. Our fat fucking cats trying to eat
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our slightly less fat fucking cats' food. Because Beans will
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eat his whole food in about 30 seconds. Pig eats
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about half to three-fourths of her dinner and then, you know,
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goes and takes a nap and then wakes up from
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the nap and then eats the rest of it. She's
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just got a little tummy. Anyway. Yeah, so these AI
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companies are racing to... get the artificial general intelligence first
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because whoever gets there first basically runs the world. Now,
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what they're saying is you got to get there quicker,
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but that also takes away the safety aspect of it
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by saying, well, you know, we could mess up and
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AI could basically decide that humans don't need to be
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here because it might look at climate change or just
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the General resource usage that we do on this planet.
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We are running out of apples. Who eats the most
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amount of apples? Humans. Get rid of the humans. Like,
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that's the kind of shit it could do. And it
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could also, hack in to government's nuclear buttons or create
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a bioweapon. They're running through all the possibilities. But on
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the flip side, if it goes well, then we could
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live in a utopia and we don't have to work.
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You'll just have your robot that has that. AGI in
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it go work for you and you get to live
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like how the Europeans live now and you know drink
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wine at one o'clock in the afternoon and then take
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a nap and wake up and go have dinner for
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seven hours and not give up your seat I'm just
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saying they said there's a good chance that it doesn't
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work out and the reason there's a good chance that
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it doesn't work out is because the top people that
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are in control of it are fucking psycho. So it's
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one of those things where I had to like, just
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get up and walk around for a little while. And
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then it stayed with me for a couple of days.
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And Ames was like, well, how about we don't watch
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this anymore? Okay. And I was like, yeah, that's probably smart.
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Cause you can only worry about the moment you're in
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right now. Right. That's all you can control. Anyway, let's
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get your headline of the week and then we'll get
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to this, uh, Interview with comedian Ryan Hamilton. The CIA
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is accused of using Ancestry.com and 23andMe to hunt down
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alien bloodlines in millions of DNA tests. I've never seen
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a more made-up headline. You mean to tell me the
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CIA doesn't know where the reptilians are? Come on. What
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do you think they're looking for? We're looking for E.T.
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Are they? Or... Is X-Men real? And they're trying to
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hunt down Wolverine and Jean Grey and Cyclops and make
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sure that they don't rise up and stop the data
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centers from being built. And let China win. We can't
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have that. We've got to get these dirty, nasty mutants
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out of here. Only Hugh Jackman can save us. Okay,
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let's get to this interview with comedian Ryan Hamilton. What's
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going on, bro?
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Hey, man. I'm not much. I'm good. Everything's great.
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I bet, man. You just dropped a new special. It's
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doing pretty well on Netflix right now. This just hit me.
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How's it feeling kind of like, you know, shooting the
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special and getting to sit back and go, oh, this worked?
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It's been, uh, it's been a whirlwind, you know, it's,
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it takes a lot of work to get these things
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out and then just to, uh, get the thing made
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and then, you know, get it edited. And then you
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sit back and like you said, go, okay, what do
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people think? And it's a little scary. Uh, and you
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hear from all sorts of people and, um, but I'm
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pretty happy with it. And, uh, I think the response
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has been overwhelmingly pretty positive. It's such an interesting topic
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that I tried to tackle, you know, and so it's
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been fun to hear from people.
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Well, I got to ask, because so for people who
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don't know, you got hit by a bus, which not
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many people get to get hit by a bus and
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live to tell jokes about it. But Was your first
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instinct to go, huh, I just got hit by a bus.
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I got a new bit out of this. Or what happened, dude?
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It was more like I'm going to have to talk
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about this. Like there's no escaping it. You know, it
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was just such a big event in my life. And honestly,
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I was a bit embarrassed because.
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It was such a– You didn't see it coming?
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Yeah. Yeah, it's like– well, I was just like this
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is a thing that we– it's like so cliché. To
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get it like once you get we reference it all
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the time in culture.
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Right.
383
00:23:38.579 --> 00:23:40.740
You realize it doesn't happen all the time, but it's
384
00:23:40.819 --> 00:23:43.400
the thing. There's so many ways to die. And for
385
00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:46.079
whatever reason, we always go with you got to live
386
00:23:46.099 --> 00:23:48.269
your life. You might get hit by a bus. Why
387
00:23:48.349 --> 00:23:51.230
is that the thing? And that's the thing that happened
388
00:23:51.289 --> 00:23:51.589
to me.
389
00:23:51.849 --> 00:23:53.109
You know, that's crazy.
390
00:23:53.130 --> 00:23:53.549
That was.
391
00:23:54.029 --> 00:23:57.569
Yeah. Did you spend all your money every single day
392
00:23:57.609 --> 00:23:59.150
like you were going to get hit by a bus
393
00:23:59.190 --> 00:24:01.420
and then you're kind of disappointed when you lived or.
394
00:24:04.029 --> 00:24:07.990
No i i i money was just like uh it
395
00:24:08.029 --> 00:24:10.859
was such a you know we've it was just not
396
00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:14.279
even a consideration fortunately i just was like i gotta
397
00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:16.559
get my life back that's all i'm thinking about.
398
00:24:16.599 --> 00:24:19.109
Well that's good man i'm i'm super glad you survived
399
00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:21.789
because you are hilarious and i meant to like ask
400
00:24:21.829 --> 00:24:24.809
because you did mention that specials take a long time
401
00:24:25.309 --> 00:24:28.900
to make and get done Your first special that I
402
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:33.339
saw on Netflix way back in 2017, Happy Face, that
403
00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:36.839
was hilarious, but then it's almost been 10 years since
404
00:24:36.859 --> 00:24:39.799
you put out another special. Was that just like a
405
00:24:39.859 --> 00:24:42.740
tactical thing? Was that by design, or were you just
406
00:24:42.789 --> 00:24:45.849
trying to work your way back up? What was that process?
407
00:24:46.329 --> 00:24:49.210
No, it certainly wasn't tactical. It certainly wasn't by design.
408
00:24:49.230 --> 00:24:55.140
I just do what I can, man. I was ready
409
00:24:55.180 --> 00:24:58.880
to go right before COVID, and then COVID happened, and
410
00:24:59.299 --> 00:25:01.859
everything shut down, and I was trying to figure out
411
00:25:01.880 --> 00:25:04.059
how my way back. This was one of my first
412
00:25:04.119 --> 00:25:08.339
gigs back, actually, was when this happened. I was flying
413
00:25:08.400 --> 00:25:10.789
from Hawaii to LAX on a corporate gig at the
414
00:25:10.809 --> 00:25:14.829
very end of COVID. January 1st of 2022 is when
415
00:25:14.869 --> 00:25:15.410
this happened.
416
00:25:15.509 --> 00:25:16.009
New Year's Day.
417
00:25:16.029 --> 00:25:19.539
Oh, man. And it was at the height of the
418
00:25:19.660 --> 00:25:23.059
Omicron variant when everybody kind of went back. And then
419
00:25:23.079 --> 00:25:26.640
I was in a hotel for 10 days with COVID
420
00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:27.440
on my way home.
421
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:31.519
Life was trying to get you out of here.
422
00:25:31.579 --> 00:25:37.000
Yeah, exactly. And my first day out was January 1.
423
00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:38.839
And that's when this happened. I was walking to pick
424
00:25:38.900 --> 00:25:41.720
up a rental car, hit the button, watch the light turn.
425
00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:44.539
And I started walking and this bus ran a light.
426
00:25:45.380 --> 00:25:48.289
and was making a left and didn't see me. And
427
00:25:49.609 --> 00:25:52.910
so then, you know, I just came back from COVID
428
00:25:52.950 --> 00:25:54.710
and then I move all my tour dates that had
429
00:25:54.730 --> 00:25:56.869
already been moved a couple of times. I moved them
430
00:25:56.950 --> 00:25:59.640
out about six, eight months, even a year. So then
431
00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:02.700
I'm like dealing with this new material, this thing that
432
00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:05.240
happened to me after a six month recovery. And then
433
00:26:05.299 --> 00:26:07.519
I felt like I just have to talk about this.
434
00:26:07.579 --> 00:26:11.630
So it shaped my whole act differently. I got it
435
00:26:11.690 --> 00:26:13.869
all together, and then I was trying to sell it,
436
00:26:13.950 --> 00:26:15.809
and it was tough. I couldn't get it sold for
437
00:26:15.829 --> 00:26:19.130
a while. So it takes time. It takes time to
438
00:26:19.170 --> 00:26:21.230
get this stuff out there, and I'm slow anyway, so
439
00:26:21.710 --> 00:26:22.369
that's what happened.
440
00:26:22.750 --> 00:26:26.569
Well, I'm glad you made it back and Netflix finally
441
00:26:26.589 --> 00:26:29.990
got it because it's hilarious, dude. Your bit about how
442
00:26:30.059 --> 00:26:33.480
historians are going to look back on this era of
443
00:26:33.539 --> 00:26:36.750
the human race and be like, what happened? They stopped. Yeah,
444
00:26:37.210 --> 00:26:40.740
it's it's super like little things that you just like
445
00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:42.779
listen to and you go. That's the smartest thing I've
446
00:26:42.819 --> 00:26:45.339
ever heard. Like where you're talking about. Oh, yeah, we
447
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:47.640
just count our individual steps and we're trying to get
448
00:26:47.660 --> 00:26:51.269
to 10,000 for some reason. Like that, that's like, I
449
00:26:51.890 --> 00:26:55.009
hope you know how like genius that is. I mean,
450
00:26:55.029 --> 00:26:57.450
you know, you're good, but like when you hear something
451
00:26:57.470 --> 00:26:58.859
like that, you're like, dude, it was right there the
452
00:26:58.880 --> 00:26:59.900
whole time. You know what I mean?
453
00:27:00.259 --> 00:27:03.039
Oh, that's nice, man. I really appreciate that.
454
00:27:03.099 --> 00:27:03.240
Yeah.
455
00:27:03.259 --> 00:27:06.299
Those are the gigs. Those are the bits that we
456
00:27:06.339 --> 00:27:09.859
really look for. Like, you know, they're floating around everywhere.
457
00:27:09.960 --> 00:27:12.380
You know, they're there and you just got to find
458
00:27:12.400 --> 00:27:13.670
them and they're elusive.
459
00:27:15.019 --> 00:27:16.680
They are. But when you get them, man, I was
460
00:27:16.740 --> 00:27:19.160
watching that. I was like, oh, OK. Yeah. Modern day
461
00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:24.640
philosopher nailed it, dude. Now you're you're coming to coming
462
00:27:24.660 --> 00:27:26.430
to town in October. You're going to be at Clues
463
00:27:26.470 --> 00:27:31.069
Memorial Hall the 23rd of October. And you are a
464
00:27:31.109 --> 00:27:34.470
clean comic, so everybody can come from five years old
465
00:27:34.490 --> 00:27:37.609
to 75 years old. Everybody can come through. And I
466
00:27:37.970 --> 00:27:41.079
was kind of mentioning like the genius of your act earlier.
467
00:27:41.140 --> 00:27:44.319
But a lot of people don't understand how tough it
468
00:27:44.440 --> 00:27:47.480
is to be funny as a clean comedian and do
469
00:27:47.539 --> 00:27:51.039
it to the level of you, Seinfeld, Bargatze. Like, was
470
00:27:51.059 --> 00:27:53.940
that a conscious move to make or you're like, no,
471
00:27:53.960 --> 00:27:56.170
I'm just from Idaho. I don't like cursing.
472
00:27:57.079 --> 00:27:59.140
Well, it's kind of a mixture of both. I never
473
00:27:59.180 --> 00:28:01.640
really curse all that often. I mean, I admit it
474
00:28:01.740 --> 00:28:03.960
comes out once in a while, but it's like if
475
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:06.130
you're 95% there, you might as well be 100% in
476
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:07.529
your act.
477
00:28:07.670 --> 00:28:08.869
You know what I mean? Right.
478
00:28:08.970 --> 00:28:11.450
So it's kind of like the voice chooses you more
479
00:28:11.470 --> 00:28:15.430
than you choose it. So that's how it comes. I mean,
480
00:28:15.750 --> 00:28:18.049
you know, I was trying to be in the beginning
481
00:28:18.829 --> 00:28:22.109
more like absurdist, like Mitch Hedberg, Stephen Wright kind of stuff.
482
00:28:22.190 --> 00:28:25.789
And eventually I found out who I am. But And, yeah,
483
00:28:26.089 --> 00:28:31.009
you know, that's where I landed. And it's a process,
484
00:28:31.390 --> 00:28:32.789
I would say, more than a decision.
485
00:28:33.069 --> 00:28:35.839
I got you. That makes sense. I mean, you're, like,
486
00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:40.039
definitely one of the top all-time clean comedians. You're on
487
00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:42.500
the road with Seinfeld and Bargatze. You get to pop
488
00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:45.380
on their tours as well. I do need to ask you, though,
489
00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:48.730
have you ever done a DNA test with Jerry Seinfeld?
490
00:28:49.970 --> 00:28:51.230
You look like him, dude.
491
00:28:51.910 --> 00:28:56.660
Yeah, I get it. People are constantly going– they think
492
00:28:56.720 --> 00:28:59.039
I'm ripping them off or they think I sound like them.
493
00:28:59.059 --> 00:29:02.299
They think I look like them. Jerry and I– I
494
00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:04.460
used to– way, way back before I ever knew Jerry,
495
00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:06.180
before I even lived in New York, I had a
496
00:29:06.220 --> 00:29:10.019
joke on Last Comic Standing that said– people say I
497
00:29:10.039 --> 00:29:13.359
look like the illegitimate son of Jerry and Elaine or
498
00:29:13.380 --> 00:29:14.720
a white Chris Rock.
499
00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:15.460
That's hilarious.
500
00:29:15.500 --> 00:29:18.299
People forget that I put Chris Rock in there. But,
501
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:22.799
you know, I actually had breakfast with Jerry yesterday and
502
00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:25.240
he goes, how's the special going? And he always wants
503
00:29:25.259 --> 00:29:27.359
to know. He's so influential with this special, by the way.
504
00:29:27.400 --> 00:29:29.640
He came up with the title. So we had lots
505
00:29:29.700 --> 00:29:33.069
of conversations over the years about the development of this material.
506
00:29:33.130 --> 00:29:35.549
He says, what's the reception? I go, you know, as always,
507
00:29:35.609 --> 00:29:39.950
I'm getting so many people going. This guy's Jerry Seinfeld.
508
00:29:40.039 --> 00:29:42.519
or a mixture of jerry seinfeld and whatever or you
509
00:29:42.539 --> 00:29:46.380
know right and he goes i go you know i'm
510
00:29:46.440 --> 00:29:48.599
sorry i get i don't know because it's just because
511
00:29:48.940 --> 00:29:50.839
you have a bunch of solid jokes and i have
512
00:29:50.859 --> 00:29:53.319
a bunch of solid jokes just because we're good dude
513
00:29:53.740 --> 00:29:55.009
yeah yeah yeah.
514
00:29:56.299 --> 00:29:59.119
I would just ask Jerry where he was in Idaho.
515
00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:02.859
Have you ever stopped through? Because that was the first
516
00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:05.460
time when I watched Happy Face, I was like, yeah, dude,
517
00:30:05.509 --> 00:30:09.130
this guy looks like Jerry Seinfeld's kid. That's crazy. But
518
00:30:09.470 --> 00:30:12.269
it's super cool that you get to do your own thing.
519
00:30:12.369 --> 00:30:14.329
You're a huge comedian in your own right, and then
520
00:30:14.369 --> 00:30:17.940
you also get to pop on and be on Seinfeld shows,
521
00:30:18.019 --> 00:30:21.539
Borgatti shows. In your career, because you've obviously had an
522
00:30:21.619 --> 00:30:24.170
interesting one, Has there been a moment where you kind
523
00:30:24.210 --> 00:30:26.369
of looked around and you thought this is the coolest
524
00:30:26.410 --> 00:30:28.630
thing I've ever gotten to do or I can't believe
525
00:30:28.670 --> 00:30:31.529
they're letting me do this type of thing? Oh, yeah.
526
00:30:31.650 --> 00:30:35.970
All the time. Constantly. I mean, yeah, it's amazing. You know,
527
00:30:36.349 --> 00:30:38.059
I can't believe my life. I grew up in a
528
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:41.079
little town in Idaho. I live in New York City
529
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.059
in Manhattan doing comedy shows. You know, I live across
530
00:30:44.099 --> 00:30:46.380
the street from Seinfeld now. We hang out. It's like,
531
00:30:46.460 --> 00:30:49.640
you know, I grew up watching that sitcom and going,
532
00:30:49.740 --> 00:30:51.240
and then I go, we go sit down in a
533
00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:52.819
diner and Jerry's across from me.
534
00:30:52.839 --> 00:30:55.880
And I'm like, I'm George right now. This is crazy.
535
00:30:56.990 --> 00:31:00.390
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
536
00:31:00.690 --> 00:31:03.440
That's awesome, man. We're super excited for you to get here.
537
00:31:03.779 --> 00:31:06.720
By the way, I'm trying my best to knock off
538
00:31:06.799 --> 00:31:10.940
the Dallas Cowboys cheerleader show out of Netflix's top five.
539
00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:13.670
I know you're worried about passing that one up, but
540
00:31:14.410 --> 00:31:16.849
I'm trying to do my best and hit and rewatch that.
541
00:31:17.410 --> 00:31:20.529
This just hit me. Thanks, man. If you need something
542
00:31:20.569 --> 00:31:23.589
to do this week, go on Netflix, watch This Just
543
00:31:23.650 --> 00:31:27.410
Hit Me. Very funny, Ryan Hamilton. Get your tickets, Clues
544
00:31:27.450 --> 00:31:31.730
Memorial Hall, October the 23rd. Ryan, is there anything else
545
00:31:31.750 --> 00:31:33.109
you want to promote before I let you get out
546
00:31:33.130 --> 00:31:33.309
of here?
547
00:31:34.230 --> 00:31:37.109
No, I think that's it, man. I really appreciate it. Yeah,
548
00:31:37.369 --> 00:31:38.329
I really appreciate it.
549
00:31:38.509 --> 00:31:40.970
Well, no problem, man. I wish you continued success. Keep
550
00:31:41.019 --> 00:31:45.960
murdering and hopefully look both ways a little more closely
551
00:31:45.980 --> 00:31:47.019
when you're crossing the street.
552
00:31:47.940 --> 00:31:48.779
Good advice.
553
00:31:48.819 --> 00:31:52.069
Have a good one, bro. Thanks.
