Permission to Be Awesome: Radical Self-Honesty, DMT & Returning to Source with Adam Butler

WEBVTT
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Hello, and welcome to another episode of In My
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Experience with yours truly, Christine DiGinto.
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This podcast is a space where I speak from lived
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experience. The moments that shaped me, challenged
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me, and changed the way that I understand myself
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in the world. The awakenings, the breakdowns,
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the moments that cracked me open, asked me to
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stay present, be embodied, and be honest with
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myself. I share my stories not to persuade or
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define truth for anyone else, but to offer perspective,
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to explore the gray areas we don't often have
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language for, to slow things down and listen
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more closely to what's happening beneath the
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surface. You'll hear solo episodes where I reflect
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on my own initiations, spiritual gifts, and the
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systems that try to define me. and conversations
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with guests who have walked strange, beautiful,
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and sometimes painful paths of their own and
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come back with wisdom to share with us. I invite
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you to take what resonates, leave the rest, and
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trust your own experience as valid. Thank you
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for being here. This is In My Experience. Well,
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hey y 'all. Welcome back to In My Experience.
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I'm your host, Christine DiGinto. Before we get
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into today's conversation, I want to apologize
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for my little hiatus. Lately, it has proven more
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difficult than I expected to find enough quiet
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time to sit down and record. I so appreciate
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your patience, and I'm very happy to be back
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today sharing another conversation with you.
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Today, I'm joined by Adam Butler for a conversation
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that is raw, Funny, explicit, and deeply honest.
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Adam is known for openly sharing his experiences
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with DMT and other psychedelics. But in this
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episode, he shared something that I believe is
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much larger. What happens when we stop hiding
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and give ourselves permission to be fully who
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we are? We talk about sobriety, sexuality, shame,
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shadow work. relationships, past lives, DMT entities,
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kundalini awakening, darkness retreats, and whether
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consciousness exists beyond the physical body.
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P .S. It does. We also explore why expanded states
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can sometimes feel more real than actual reality,
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and why psychedelics are only one of many possible
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doorways. to come back to ourselves. Adam offered
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a phrase that became the heartbeat of this entire
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conversation. Radical self -honesty leads to
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self -knowledge and self -knowledge ultimately
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leads to self -love. Before we begin, please
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know that this episode includes explicit language,
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candid conversations about sex, trauma, and psychedelic
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substances. We are sharing our personal experiences,
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not medical advice. and we are not encouraging
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you to use illegal substances. Please listen
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and behave with discernment and take care of
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yourself. This is Permission to be Awesome, Radical
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Self -Honesty, DMT, and Returning to the Source
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with Adam Butler. Let's get into it, and I'll
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see you at the end. Thank you so much for your
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time today. I'm so excited to talk with you.
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And I listened to your episode with Outside Minds
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podcast. I'm connected with them, Stilo especially.
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So that was a great connection. I appreciate
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it very much. I will say what I wanted to talk
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with you about. Are we recording right now? Yes,
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but we won't use it. Well, no, we should. We
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should then. Okay. Because I love him. I love
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his energy. And it relates to why I'm excited
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to talk to you. I'm going to reference your prior
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guest, Christina, if I could. And it refers back
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to him. So this may be good filler. But I just
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don't know how deep I want to go on my philosophy
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if we're not recording it. Yeah. Oh, sure. Very
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good. You can say whatever. I just always like
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to record it because gold always comes through
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in our conversations. Just like initiating before.
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the introduction. So yeah, we can, we can use
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anything. Um, but I just kind of wanted to mention
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what I imagined and wanted to talk with you about.
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I ran by my new boyfriend. So all my, how new
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is new? Cause that's relevant. Like a month.
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Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So exciting. Congratulations.
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Thank you. So I heard your. podcast when i was
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on my way down to tennessee i'm from pennsylvania
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so i was going to tennessee i was going to volunteer
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at an eco village and take a cob building workshop
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like separately like for maybe a month and then
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come back to pennsylvania while i was here before
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i went to the eco village i'm i i have a truck
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and a fifth wheel and that's i just like committed
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full time yeah thank you And so my truck needed
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a fuel filter service. It's a diesel truck. And
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I've worked with diesel trucks before, but I've
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never owned one before. So I have no idea what
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it costs, what it takes. So I was like, I just
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need my truck serviced. And while I was at the
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shop, I... made friends with the receptionist
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because I usually make friends with people and
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I'm sitting there all day so she invited me to
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eat lunch because she made lunch that day so
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I sit down in their little kitchen I'm eating
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lunch with them and I met a mechanic now we're
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dating so I told him what I was I wanted to talk
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about and he was like I think I forget how he
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worded it but I do want to like respect him I
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don't know if I want to share it on the podcast
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quite yet because he seemed a little bit He's
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from Tennessee. As far as you guys sharing your
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intimate details or just the concept itself of
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blending psychedelics and sex? Well, it's not
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about him. So that's probably what it is. Because
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if it's about removing, like the whole point
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of my message isn't like I'm pushing sex and
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psychedelics on people. It's removing the shame
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and stigma. And it's about people embodying their
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own feminine or masculine energies and taking
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back that energy. So if he's... For whatever,
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if the conversation is awkward or difficult or
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has shame associated with him, then that's exactly
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why we need to talk about it without bringing
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him up in particular. Yes. But we can be sensitive
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to that. And I understand. And rightly so. I
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totally agree. And he. Yeah, because you shouldn't
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be like, oh, I used to have sex for eight hours
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with my last boyfriend. And he's like, oh, what
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the fuck? No, no, no. I don't. It's nothing like
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that. Like the things that I wanted to talk with
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you about, it was more like. I sought out initiations
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in a, like a shamanic way, like to explore shadows.
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And like, I guess it really stemmed from first
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of all, my shadows, but then second of all, like
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I read existential kink and then I was just like,
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why don't I just go directly for what bothers
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me or what I'm ashamed of or like what, you know?
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So I started. doing some things that were very
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interesting but like i i talked with him about
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it a little bit and he's like i'd rather you
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not talk about it but there is so much that we
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could talk about and there are that we can talk
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about sexual stuff it's not like i'm like a prude
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he just didn't want me to talk about specific
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things that i had done with other people oh yeah
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and and i absolutely yeah so again i i lit up
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when you said you have a boyfriend and you met
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him recently because Part of my story is I got
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out of a three and a half year relationship in
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February. So I'm in the dating scene. I'm talking
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to a couple people. I actually just had an amazing
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date last night. Nice. That was a beautiful sexual
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massage. The whole night last night was actually
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about consent. And she's a sexual somatic woman
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embodiment practitioner. And she's done quite
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a bit of psychedelics. And it was gorgeous because
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we had this beautiful... consent conversation
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prior where she explicitly explained the parallels
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between you know with consent under the normal
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circumstances how it works under the guise of
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psychedelics how there's this blurred line that
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seems to be happening with practitioners taking
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advantage of people in that space even though
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in that space they're giving consent and everything
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seems all well and good well it's because they're
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under the influence so just like if somebody
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was drunk you wouldn't take advantage of them
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under their drunk because maybe this that whatever
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you know the the sense is adult same thing like
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you if somebody feels so much pleasure under
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mdma or everything's all love and light that's
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not the time to lean into well can i touch your
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butt and and those are those are discussions
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that have to happen because even if that woman
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says oh yes please touch my butt and that and
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the person's like well no they told me well no
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there has to be an explicit boundary there and
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what me and this woman did was We put those boundaries
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explicitly up front and said no matter what,
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no matter what, we're not going to cross these
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boundaries tonight because this is what we're
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deciding. No matter, even if I beg you, hey,
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can we renege that? Can we rip up that contract?
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And the answer is no because tonight we're making
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that because I know once the dopamine and the
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serotonin and the blood starts flowing, it's
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going to be a whole different thing. But here,
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before that happened, just like, so I think there's
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a beautiful conversation there that can happen.
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um with without bringing any sensitive things
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up and without bringing in any type of like details
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or or positions or anything like that but i work
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i've been working a lot with women's health recently
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and a lot with a lot of beautiful powerful women
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that are trained and i've got just so you know
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this is why i'm excited to talk to you too to
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introduce you to i've got four or five women
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right now that would be perfect for you to introduce
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whether it be for your podcast or just to you
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know to add to your inner circle yeah modalities
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of hypnosis past life regression exploration
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of psychedelics working in these your guest that
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you had on that lady christina i was just i was
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nodding my head as i was listening to her because
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it's like yes that's my people and there's a
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couple things that she said and that you said
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that i'd like to expand upon but there's so much
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content here to talk about and it has to happen
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in a mature intelligent way without shame without
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body shame and with recognition to give people
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the grace in the space about their personal traumas
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and what their personal boundaries are so for
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for you you know for us to have people in our
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lives to say hey i'm comfortable with this but
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if you don't mind can we keep this sacred for
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them to have oh and i just got chills because
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it's like without even knowing this is it is
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it a man i don't want to make assumptions oh
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yes yeah so you know for for a man to say in
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a new relationship um These are my feelings these
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are my thoughts this may trigger me I'd like
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for you to maybe be sensitive to this and if
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possible can can you? You know can you put this
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into our newly forming relationship, and what
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a great opportunity for you to honor him for
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him to have Confirmation that it's okay in a
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safe space for him to share with you And then
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now for you to share that with me for me to honor
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that and not try to fucking dig but more importantly
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work around that in a way that That he doesn't
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need to know we had a conversation about it,
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but we can dance delicately about it. And that
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is exactly what is needed in the healing space,
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in the hypnosis space, in the psychedelic space,
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and in the sexual exploration space. Because
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I am pretty deep into the weird kink, fucked
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up scene, polyamory, multiple partners. I mean,
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I just got my dick tattooed. I mean, all of that.
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Oh, geez. What did you tattoo on it? There's
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a lot there. It's my second round, so I'm getting
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a full sleeve done. I don't want to say, well,
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I love my body and I love what I've done with
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it. I know you follow me on Instagram, right?
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Yes. At the tattoo shop, the tattoo owner took
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a viral video of me getting it done. And it's
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not vulgar. You can't see anything. It goes by
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all the guidelines. But you can clearly tell
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what's happening and you can clearly tell that
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I'm adjusting that area of my body for a tattoo.
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That's my first video that ever went viral. So
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I have videos that have hundreds of thousands
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of views and tens of thousands of views are pretty
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common on some of my reels. But this one got
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200 ,000 views in a day and a half because it
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had to do with my junk. And it was all just gay
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men being like fucking trying to like get a date
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or something. I don't know. It was hilarious.
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But I say that because the video of the process
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is actually on Instagram and it's hilarious because
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my friend and the tattoo artist peeks up and
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he has the greatest expression. But then. I just
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got back from like two days ago from a 12 -day
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trip out across the country. And that's something
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I want to talk to you too about, about taking
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the time to go out, explore. And it sounds like
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you're doing it and I want to applaud you for
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that. But I just got back from a 12 -day trip
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where I had like a seven -hour tattoo session
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where I got multiple tattoos done, including
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work done on that area again. So I was out in
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the woods with a friend of mine, a 72 -year -old
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female friend who we... Because we've been on
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two retreats together, super deep psychedelic
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retreats, we're comfortable with one another.
00:13:32.379 --> 00:13:35.320
We've talked openly about our sexuality. I felt
00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:36.840
very comfortable getting naked in front of her,
00:13:36.919 --> 00:13:38.480
and I asked her, would you mind taking photos
00:13:38.480 --> 00:13:40.559
of me? Because we were out in the beautiful woods,
00:13:40.679 --> 00:13:44.080
and I also posted a picture on Instagram, and
00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:45.779
it is there to see, where I was able to crop
00:13:45.779 --> 00:13:48.720
it artistically, where you can see, in essence,
00:13:48.799 --> 00:13:51.059
what the tattoo is and where it's going, and
00:13:51.059 --> 00:13:54.039
it kind of draws the eye. But it's done in an
00:13:54.039 --> 00:13:56.100
artistic way where it's like, no, as a 46 -year
00:13:56.100 --> 00:13:58.360
-old man, the fuck I'm in the best shape of my
00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:00.639
life. I work really hard for it. I eat well.
00:14:00.759 --> 00:14:03.460
I, and I put a lot of work into it. And that
00:14:03.460 --> 00:14:05.799
those, those videos and pitches aren't so much
00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:07.940
for other people or other eyes or whatever. Like
00:14:07.940 --> 00:14:09.960
it was a beautiful moment between me and my friend,
00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:12.379
Cindy. I'm glad that I have it. So maybe when
00:14:12.379 --> 00:14:14.059
I'm 70, I can be like, Oh, look, look when I
00:14:14.059 --> 00:14:17.419
used to have fucking abs. And, but now, but also,
00:14:17.460 --> 00:14:19.620
you know, you just mentioned how you just started
00:14:19.620 --> 00:14:23.159
dating and how I'm looking for my next partner
00:14:23.159 --> 00:14:26.220
or my next date or my next whatever. And there
00:14:26.220 --> 00:14:28.240
is a little bit of peacocking going on. Like,
00:14:28.279 --> 00:14:30.139
hey, this is my plumage. This is what I have.
00:14:30.419 --> 00:14:34.340
But part of my story is that I don't drink anymore.
00:14:34.440 --> 00:14:35.940
So I'm five and a half years sober from alcohol.
00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:37.960
And that's going to be, that was a huge, huge
00:14:37.960 --> 00:14:40.179
part of my narrative and story. But now that
00:14:40.179 --> 00:14:42.940
I've got that out of my system, one, I'm healthy
00:14:42.940 --> 00:14:45.179
and connected to my body, myself, my source,
00:14:45.240 --> 00:14:48.149
which is a major part of my story. I don't go
00:14:48.149 --> 00:14:50.649
to bars anymore. I'm not interested in hanging
00:14:50.649 --> 00:14:52.590
out with a bunch of drunk people. I typically
00:14:52.590 --> 00:14:55.190
get triggered in large settings like that, even
00:14:55.190 --> 00:14:59.309
though I'm a real people person. So how do I
00:14:59.309 --> 00:15:04.149
meet people? How do I get out there? And it's
00:15:04.149 --> 00:15:06.370
finding new avenues to do that and finding your
00:15:06.370 --> 00:15:08.070
group of kind of misfits that resonate with you.
00:15:08.269 --> 00:15:10.730
Oh, absolutely. I absolutely agree with that.
00:15:10.789 --> 00:15:13.789
I was single for like five years. I dated someone.
00:15:13.970 --> 00:15:16.500
I dated someone for like two months. He was my
00:15:16.500 --> 00:15:18.240
neighbor. He lived across the street from me.
00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:21.000
It was basically unavoidable. He was very, like,
00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:23.240
persistent. And I was like, I'll give it a try.
00:15:23.360 --> 00:15:26.080
You know what I mean? And you tried. I tried.
00:15:26.100 --> 00:15:27.960
And it didn't work. It didn't work. Exactly.
00:15:28.740 --> 00:15:32.220
No, let's rephrase that. It didn't work for both
00:15:32.220 --> 00:15:34.500
of us. Well, it worked for the time frame that
00:15:34.500 --> 00:15:36.659
it was supposed to be. Lessons learned. You expanded
00:15:36.659 --> 00:15:41.110
on your knowledge. And please, if you're recording,
00:15:41.250 --> 00:15:43.190
well, I know you're recording, but leave this
00:15:43.190 --> 00:15:44.929
one in there if you could because I have this
00:15:44.929 --> 00:15:47.389
beautiful female friend, Tina Williams. She's
00:15:47.389 --> 00:15:49.049
absolutely amazing. And she's one of the women
00:15:49.049 --> 00:15:51.009
that I want to connect you with because she's
00:15:51.009 --> 00:15:53.590
basically now dedicating her life to women's
00:15:53.590 --> 00:15:56.129
health, how it's associated with mental health
00:15:56.129 --> 00:15:58.929
issues, as well as how it weaves into psychedelics,
00:15:58.950 --> 00:16:02.250
including endogenous DMT, dopamine, serotonin,
00:16:02.250 --> 00:16:05.669
all of these modalities. She's an ex -vet, a
00:16:05.669 --> 00:16:09.159
mom. a strong woman, a business owner, all of
00:16:09.159 --> 00:16:13.620
these beautiful stories. But she has been not
00:16:13.620 --> 00:16:16.139
correcting my language, refining my language,
00:16:16.299 --> 00:16:18.799
and making sure that I'm really expressing my
00:16:18.799 --> 00:16:23.080
thoughts in an appropriate way. So, fuck, I just
00:16:23.080 --> 00:16:24.960
got all excited about explaining that. But I'm
00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:26.840
sure I just lost. What was the topic that I was
00:16:26.840 --> 00:16:27.840
going to say? No, it's okay. You were saying
00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:30.759
you wanted to introduce me to Tina Williams.
00:16:30.899 --> 00:16:33.460
Right. Thank you, Tina. You got me fucking brain
00:16:33.460 --> 00:16:38.360
farting now. It was to expand on relationships.
00:16:38.600 --> 00:16:43.500
Oh, parallels, psychedelics. Oh, how things don't
00:16:43.500 --> 00:16:47.460
work all the time. A way to reframe or refine
00:16:47.460 --> 00:16:50.159
the language around when you break up with someone.
00:16:50.259 --> 00:16:52.460
Like when I said it didn't work. You know what
00:16:52.460 --> 00:16:56.120
I mean? Correct. Right. When I said it didn't
00:16:56.120 --> 00:16:59.340
work. And then I was bringing on. a new way of
00:16:59.340 --> 00:17:01.220
looking at for the time period that it was meant
00:17:01.220 --> 00:17:04.279
to be so in hindsight now for me it's very easy
00:17:04.279 --> 00:17:06.200
to put all these chaotic pieces of the puzzle
00:17:06.200 --> 00:17:09.259
together but it's like when it's happening it's
00:17:09.259 --> 00:17:11.019
like what is all this chaos how is this possibly
00:17:11.019 --> 00:17:13.029
going to make sense But that's kind of the point
00:17:13.029 --> 00:17:14.630
is it doesn't need to make sense in the moment.
00:17:14.710 --> 00:17:16.750
It will at some point, and maybe 20 years down
00:17:16.750 --> 00:17:19.349
the line, but it will make sense. But everything
00:17:19.349 --> 00:17:21.849
has its perfect particular moment, whether that
00:17:21.849 --> 00:17:24.470
relationship wasn't a failure, it wasn't bad,
00:17:24.589 --> 00:17:26.329
or why did you start a relationship with your
00:17:26.329 --> 00:17:27.910
neighbor? Because that's exactly what the universe
00:17:27.910 --> 00:17:31.930
put in front of you. And if we can... I said
00:17:31.930 --> 00:17:34.769
yes. I said yes to the opportunity and I tried
00:17:34.769 --> 00:17:37.849
and I, I get, I sacrificed a little bit and I
00:17:37.849 --> 00:17:39.789
kind of bent over backwards a little bit, but
00:17:39.789 --> 00:17:41.990
I also received a lot. So it's sort of like,
00:17:42.069 --> 00:17:44.569
it just worked for, it was. Did you learn about
00:17:44.569 --> 00:17:46.210
yourself and did you put the mirror up to yourself?
00:17:46.289 --> 00:17:48.069
Did you expand and did you grow and now do you
00:17:48.069 --> 00:17:49.509
know things that you want and what you don't
00:17:49.509 --> 00:17:52.859
want? like yes that's the perspective where instead
00:17:52.859 --> 00:17:54.740
of walking away being like oh what was me that
00:17:54.740 --> 00:17:56.539
sucked i just wasted two months of my life it's
00:17:56.539 --> 00:17:58.339
like no yeah that was a fun continuing education
00:17:58.339 --> 00:18:02.440
class in in love and in sexuality and all of
00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:05.880
those in self -exploration and that is now how
00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:08.200
and it took me some time but at 46 years old
00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:10.960
i feel like i have enough like amazing life to
00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:14.700
live that if i can just apply that perspective
00:18:14.700 --> 00:18:17.799
and I'm actually in the middle of writing an
00:18:17.799 --> 00:18:20.619
article called Through God's Eyes, A Psychedelic
00:18:20.619 --> 00:18:23.359
Perspective. And it really is, and that's not
00:18:23.359 --> 00:18:27.700
saying I'm God, but if I could. Well, we're all
00:18:27.700 --> 00:18:29.759
God. Well, we're all God. We're all little bits
00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:33.180
of God, yeah. When I heard you, one, when you
00:18:33.180 --> 00:18:34.339
were late for the interview because you were
00:18:34.339 --> 00:18:37.359
vacuuming, and not this interview, you were on
00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:38.880
time for this interview, but the one with Christina,
00:18:39.059 --> 00:18:41.240
and you guys were just like. then you started
00:18:41.240 --> 00:18:43.880
going into a riff and I said, I'm like, oh man,
00:18:43.960 --> 00:18:45.180
I can't wait to talk to this lady because she's
00:18:45.180 --> 00:18:47.420
a weirdo. Now, please understand I call myself
00:18:47.420 --> 00:18:50.079
a weirdo. I gave necklaces to my mom and my nieces
00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:52.460
that say stay weird. So I say that with full
00:18:52.460 --> 00:18:55.380
compliment. Well, weird is actually the word
00:18:55.380 --> 00:18:59.079
for magical. It means magical and destiny. It
00:18:59.079 --> 00:19:02.259
means destiny in old, in the old language. And
00:19:02.259 --> 00:19:04.119
then they turned it after, you know, the witch
00:19:04.119 --> 00:19:05.720
hunts and all that. They turned it into something
00:19:05.720 --> 00:19:08.819
negative as like an outcast type word. But it
00:19:08.819 --> 00:19:13.400
actually means, Divine and destiny magical. Well,
00:19:13.500 --> 00:19:17.160
good. See? Now Tina Williams is coming in. Let's
00:19:17.160 --> 00:19:20.019
expand upon weirdo. But I was listening to another
00:19:20.019 --> 00:19:22.880
podcast a month ago, and hopefully what we can
00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:25.559
do is what this lady did for me, was not that
00:19:25.559 --> 00:19:27.460
we need to have an hour or an hour and a half
00:19:27.460 --> 00:19:29.400
of banging content, but if we can just leave
00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:31.759
a couple tidbits that people can hang on to.
00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:37.480
And, you know, my kind of spiel is radical self...
00:19:38.740 --> 00:19:41.099
Radical self -honesty will lead to self -knowledge,
00:19:41.119 --> 00:19:43.099
which will ultimately lead to self -love. Now,
00:19:43.160 --> 00:19:45.299
there's multiple modalities that will get you
00:19:45.299 --> 00:19:47.200
there. Psychedelics can be one of a catalyst
00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:49.839
to shake it up. But deep meditation, darkness
00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:52.500
retreats, float tanks, past life regressions,
00:19:52.500 --> 00:19:55.240
hypnosis. But I was listening to a woman and
00:19:55.240 --> 00:19:57.700
she said, most people don't give themselves permission
00:19:57.700 --> 00:19:59.750
to be awesome. Like, they don't give themselves
00:19:59.750 --> 00:20:02.109
to look in the mirror and think that they're
00:20:02.109 --> 00:20:03.950
awesome, then give themselves permission to be
00:20:03.950 --> 00:20:06.630
awesome, and then lean into it. And as I was
00:20:06.630 --> 00:20:08.329
watching you and your prior guest, Christina,
00:20:08.369 --> 00:20:10.910
talk, I was like, yes, these are two women that
00:20:10.910 --> 00:20:12.470
have given themselves permission to be awesome,
00:20:12.630 --> 00:20:15.609
to be weird, to lean into their cool characteristics,
00:20:15.849 --> 00:20:19.630
and I was leaning in. And you two... you and
00:20:19.630 --> 00:20:21.490
that lady, Christina, have very different looks,
00:20:21.589 --> 00:20:23.809
personalities, vibes, energies. And it was just
00:20:23.809 --> 00:20:25.950
beautiful to watch them swirl because neither
00:20:25.950 --> 00:20:27.990
one of you were being performative. Neither one
00:20:27.990 --> 00:20:30.049
of you were holding anything back. And the authentic
00:20:30.049 --> 00:20:32.789
conversation that came through made me want to
00:20:32.789 --> 00:20:38.029
lean in. Oh, thank you. Well, I mean it. And
00:20:38.029 --> 00:20:39.569
because you said, like, you make friends wherever
00:20:39.569 --> 00:20:41.569
you go and that you just, you know, you had this
00:20:41.569 --> 00:20:43.950
beautiful experience at the mechanics place with
00:20:43.950 --> 00:20:47.089
lunch and new friends and all of that. That is
00:20:47.089 --> 00:20:50.470
what I've been able to do on my 12 -day road
00:20:50.470 --> 00:20:54.150
trip is everywhere I'm going, I'm creating this
00:20:54.150 --> 00:20:56.490
resonant bubble of positivity around me. And
00:20:56.490 --> 00:20:59.390
it's not like I'm some Jehovah Witness, and I'm
00:20:59.390 --> 00:21:00.769
not saying that in a negative way, where I'm
00:21:00.769 --> 00:21:02.329
trying to witness to people and I'm trying to
00:21:02.329 --> 00:21:05.029
push in on it. It's just I know and I can read
00:21:05.029 --> 00:21:07.809
people whether they need a lift, a bump, a compliment,
00:21:08.049 --> 00:21:10.470
or maybe they need a step away, or maybe whatever
00:21:10.470 --> 00:21:14.069
they may need. To be comfortable enough in our
00:21:14.069 --> 00:21:16.670
own unique vibration and how that resonates with
00:21:16.670 --> 00:21:19.150
the people around us. Once you lean in and surrender
00:21:19.150 --> 00:21:21.650
to what that means, beautiful things can happen.
00:21:21.809 --> 00:21:25.509
And you mentioned a relationship and friendships
00:21:25.509 --> 00:21:27.049
that are coming into your life. I mentioned how
00:21:27.049 --> 00:21:28.789
I just had a beautiful date last night where
00:21:28.789 --> 00:21:31.410
I was able to go have a nice intimate massage
00:21:31.410 --> 00:21:33.650
session with this beautiful young woman. And
00:21:33.650 --> 00:21:37.009
it's because of... being comfortable in our own
00:21:37.009 --> 00:21:39.750
skin. But I think maybe that is the topic of
00:21:39.750 --> 00:21:44.430
your podcast, your curiosity of your own self
00:21:44.430 --> 00:21:46.609
-exploration, which is, all right, what does
00:21:46.609 --> 00:21:48.869
it mean to be a true authentic self? How do we
00:21:48.869 --> 00:21:52.049
release all of our innate and natural abilities?
00:21:52.269 --> 00:21:54.329
And it's not so much learning, it's remembering.
00:21:54.890 --> 00:21:59.809
It's going back to that source. And on that podcast
00:21:59.809 --> 00:22:02.450
with... Christina, it was mentioned, you know,
00:22:02.490 --> 00:22:04.130
whether you call it God, and that can be a dirty
00:22:04.130 --> 00:22:05.569
word associated with some people. And I don't
00:22:05.569 --> 00:22:07.450
say that in any religious context. I say it in
00:22:07.450 --> 00:22:09.690
all religions. But it was, well, then go back
00:22:09.690 --> 00:22:12.690
to your source of energy. And that's not a rhetorical
00:22:12.690 --> 00:22:15.369
question. That's not like a mindfuck, like, well,
00:22:15.430 --> 00:22:17.410
just keep thinking. No, really. So if you don't
00:22:17.410 --> 00:22:19.890
think it's Jesus, Buddhist, Allah, if you have
00:22:19.890 --> 00:22:22.069
a universal source, creator, energy, name it.
00:22:22.150 --> 00:22:25.289
Or don't name it. But to say that your life force
00:22:25.289 --> 00:22:28.910
is just non -existent or that it starts and ends
00:22:28.910 --> 00:22:31.700
with you. That's just a misunderstanding of biology.
00:22:31.980 --> 00:22:34.240
That's a misunderstanding of ancient history.
00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:36.660
That's just, I don't want to say that's just
00:22:36.660 --> 00:22:38.660
wrong. It's just, it needs to be expanded upon.
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:43.039
But it has to be experiential. Somebody can't
00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:44.779
just listen to us, read a book, listen to Alan
00:22:44.779 --> 00:22:48.299
Watts. Or, you know, whatever. Like, go meditate.
00:22:48.420 --> 00:22:50.119
Well, actually, no, they do have to go meditate.
00:22:50.299 --> 00:22:51.740
That's the point, is this has to be experienced.
00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:54.200
So, you can't talk about psychedelics. You got
00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:59.690
to do it. You can't have a lucid dream. You know,
00:22:59.690 --> 00:23:02.309
like we were talking about without, you know,
00:23:02.329 --> 00:23:07.390
actual explicits, combining intimacy. And intimacy
00:23:07.390 --> 00:23:10.450
does not need to be sexual and actual, like,
00:23:10.470 --> 00:23:12.890
orgasmic release. Intimacy can be a lot of things.
00:23:12.990 --> 00:23:15.450
But it's like trying to explain to somebody that
00:23:15.450 --> 00:23:18.730
hasn't had intimacy yet or that hasn't had their
00:23:18.730 --> 00:23:23.440
first experience, well, describe an orgasm. You'll
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:24.940
know when you have it. What does that mean, you'll
00:23:24.940 --> 00:23:26.339
know when you have it? I don't know. You'll fucking
00:23:26.339 --> 00:23:30.140
know when you have it. I talk a lot about DMT
00:23:30.140 --> 00:23:33.059
entities. Now, maybe one out of ten of my experiences
00:23:33.059 --> 00:23:35.339
in DMT happen. I've done hundreds and hundreds
00:23:35.339 --> 00:23:38.799
of sessions with DMT. Not every time. Most times
00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:41.170
don't. But you know, and well, how do you know?
00:23:41.230 --> 00:23:42.809
Well, how do you know? Because there's a freaking
00:23:42.809 --> 00:23:45.470
entity this far from your face, and there's a
00:23:45.470 --> 00:23:47.349
buzz, and it's like, you know, how do you know
00:23:47.349 --> 00:23:49.390
that you jumped in the water? Well, now you're
00:23:49.390 --> 00:23:51.509
floating and it's wet. And those are the things,
00:23:51.509 --> 00:23:53.750
though, that it can sound easy to just say it
00:23:53.750 --> 00:23:56.910
like this, but until you experience a kundalini
00:23:56.910 --> 00:24:01.089
awakening, until you experience whatever, you
00:24:01.089 --> 00:24:03.069
know, shamanic yoga, where you're channeling
00:24:03.069 --> 00:24:06.569
some divine stuff. Well, it may sound like fluff
00:24:06.569 --> 00:24:08.930
to the outside person, but when you guys were
00:24:08.930 --> 00:24:10.509
sharing those stories, I was sitting there being
00:24:10.509 --> 00:24:12.109
like, oh, I've seen that in person. Like I'm
00:24:12.109 --> 00:24:14.069
not, this lady's not selling, she's not selling
00:24:14.069 --> 00:24:15.589
bullshit. She's not trying to get more people
00:24:15.589 --> 00:24:18.309
in her yoga class. I guarantee you that's not
00:24:18.309 --> 00:24:20.210
what the intent of you guys sharing that story
00:24:20.210 --> 00:24:22.670
with. It was the intent of you sharing that story
00:24:22.670 --> 00:24:25.190
was, hey, this is one other modality that may
00:24:25.190 --> 00:24:27.230
work for other people. And man, if you have that
00:24:27.230 --> 00:24:29.549
experience once, you'll be like YouTube being
00:24:29.549 --> 00:24:30.950
like, how do we share this? How do we grow this?
00:24:31.009 --> 00:24:33.910
How do we teach this? And I saw it in both of
00:24:33.910 --> 00:24:36.170
your eyes. And that's awesome because that's
00:24:36.170 --> 00:24:38.269
what me and my inner circle of friends look like,
00:24:38.269 --> 00:24:41.990
talk about, and share. Yeah. I was thinking a
00:24:41.990 --> 00:24:44.309
little bit earlier today about when I wanted
00:24:44.309 --> 00:24:46.369
to kind of shift our conversation away from what
00:24:46.369 --> 00:24:50.230
I initially wanted to discuss. But I think a
00:24:50.230 --> 00:24:54.769
really good point for me to say is I had no spiritual
00:24:54.769 --> 00:25:00.029
knowledge at all. I was not religious. I did...
00:25:00.909 --> 00:25:04.569
follow like a strong code of morals as far as
00:25:04.569 --> 00:25:06.930
i was concerned like what is right and wrong
00:25:06.930 --> 00:25:11.309
you know um but i had a spontaneous kundalini
00:25:11.309 --> 00:25:16.329
awakening and um have you shared that before
00:25:16.329 --> 00:25:19.730
on the podcast i have i've shared it on can you
00:25:19.730 --> 00:25:22.309
can you bullet point it for me maybe yes yes
00:25:22.309 --> 00:25:25.210
i shared it on jeremy's podcast and amy belair
00:25:25.210 --> 00:25:26.950
have you ever heard of the third eye awakening
00:25:26.950 --> 00:25:30.599
podcast no um I believe I follow them on Instagram.
00:25:30.680 --> 00:25:33.339
Yeah. Yeah. She's amazing. So she's one of my
00:25:33.339 --> 00:25:37.240
mentors. Um, I've been on her podcast a few times
00:25:37.240 --> 00:25:39.180
talking about it, but yeah, we could definitely
00:25:39.180 --> 00:25:42.420
talk about it. It was a spontaneous hearing these
00:25:42.420 --> 00:25:45.559
stories because it, again, I'm five years ago,
00:25:45.579 --> 00:25:46.960
six years ago, I would have been like, what the
00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:48.799
fuck is this lady talking about? Like you really,
00:25:48.900 --> 00:25:50.539
your energy swirled, you release something and
00:25:50.539 --> 00:25:52.099
then you could expand it. And I don't even know
00:25:52.099 --> 00:25:53.180
what you're going to say, but it's probably going
00:25:53.180 --> 00:25:54.660
to be something along those lines because I've
00:25:54.660 --> 00:25:56.980
heard it. Hundreds of times from people that
00:25:56.980 --> 00:25:59.920
I trust, from young, old, male, female, all religious
00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:02.720
creeds, and they may not call it a kundalini
00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:04.819
experience, though it may be a rising of Christ
00:26:04.819 --> 00:26:07.619
consciousness. Or in my case, it's a DNA download.
00:26:07.980 --> 00:26:11.420
But that's what we need to share is these stories
00:26:11.420 --> 00:26:13.279
because it's going to resonate with somebody,
00:26:13.460 --> 00:26:15.440
I'm sure. And that's, again, why I want to do
00:26:15.440 --> 00:26:17.119
these podcasts because if you can pull out something
00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:19.299
right now in your story that sparks somebody
00:26:19.299 --> 00:26:22.420
to have their own, that's why we're doing this.
00:26:22.819 --> 00:26:26.480
Yeah. Please share. I'll say what happened is
00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:29.119
very interesting. And this is a little bit along
00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:34.339
the lines why I started to follow my sexual shadow
00:26:34.339 --> 00:26:38.240
is what I'll describe it as. But I was finally
00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:41.740
going to engage in an affair. And I'm really
00:26:41.740 --> 00:26:45.279
not a cheater. But I was married. I was married
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:48.299
for nine years. And we ran a business together.
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:51.799
And I was... pretty unhappy for like two years
00:26:51.799 --> 00:26:54.259
and i was expressing that i wanted to separate
00:26:54.259 --> 00:26:57.579
and essentially what i realized now is i guess
00:26:57.579 --> 00:27:00.579
i made the decision to do this as a way to like
00:27:00.579 --> 00:27:04.900
formally break it like to to to make it like
00:27:04.900 --> 00:27:08.279
bridge burn that bridge exactly to like just
00:27:08.279 --> 00:27:11.279
finally take a leap of like i'm exiting this
00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:17.000
relationship so i engaged in an affair with someone
00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:20.230
and when actually it was before we were even
00:27:20.230 --> 00:27:24.029
intimate we were together talking about lots
00:27:24.029 --> 00:27:26.950
of strange happenings is what i'll describe it
00:27:26.950 --> 00:27:29.690
as like there was periods of time like when i
00:27:29.690 --> 00:27:31.769
separated from my ex -husband and i was living
00:27:31.769 --> 00:27:36.970
alone in a townhouse and i would wake up at 1
00:27:36.970 --> 00:27:41.849
11 2 22 3 33 4 44 and i would wake up like drenched
00:27:41.849 --> 00:27:43.809
in sweat like dripping wet and i'm like what
00:27:43.809 --> 00:27:46.849
is happening now i realize i was like detoxing
00:27:47.319 --> 00:27:50.640
and like alchemizing and get, you know, adjusting
00:27:50.640 --> 00:27:52.299
my frequency. I was getting all kinds of work
00:27:52.299 --> 00:27:55.599
done in the night. I didn't realize, but so like
00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:57.779
I said, I had no awareness of spiritual knowledge,
00:27:57.839 --> 00:27:59.740
but I was talking about the things that were
00:27:59.740 --> 00:28:01.839
happening with the person that I was with. And
00:28:01.839 --> 00:28:07.579
then suddenly I was, my consciousness was abducted
00:28:07.579 --> 00:28:10.970
from this timeline. put into an alternate timeline
00:28:10.970 --> 00:28:14.250
but it basically gave me the answer to the questions
00:28:14.250 --> 00:28:18.009
that i was asking at the time so it's like i
00:28:18.009 --> 00:28:20.170
don't even know what a beautiful clip that just
00:28:20.170 --> 00:28:23.910
was great no but really if because and again
00:28:23.910 --> 00:28:26.769
thank you tina for so now not only do i recognize
00:28:26.769 --> 00:28:28.210
when i can use the word as well but you just
00:28:28.210 --> 00:28:29.990
said that so beautifully with and there's no
00:28:29.990 --> 00:28:32.250
woo -woo there that wasn't with the dmt any that
00:28:32.250 --> 00:28:34.829
was just you with a moment of silence connecting
00:28:34.829 --> 00:28:38.319
with source and what a Yeah, like, please. And
00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:42.359
I'm going to pull out that clip. Because awesome.
00:28:42.539 --> 00:28:43.859
Sorry, not to interrupt your train of thought.
00:28:43.880 --> 00:28:46.059
Yeah, well, it really absolutely gorgeous. I
00:28:46.059 --> 00:28:48.700
had some questions ready for today. And a lot
00:28:48.700 --> 00:28:51.480
of them have to do with what you think consciousness
00:28:51.480 --> 00:28:55.279
is, because I've had periods of time where uh
00:28:55.279 --> 00:29:00.359
from like age 21 to 23 i had like syncope and
00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:02.819
i would lose consciousness now i would feel it
00:29:02.819 --> 00:29:05.880
coming on it was neurological um there was no
00:29:05.880 --> 00:29:09.000
determined factor there is some kind of spot
00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:11.859
in my brain between my cerebellum and my brain
00:29:11.859 --> 00:29:15.099
they weren't able to determine what it was it
00:29:15.099 --> 00:29:18.200
hasn't changed in over 10 years but i stopped
00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:21.420
passing out but i start to wonder was i being
00:29:21.420 --> 00:29:24.319
abducted Like, it's not always a conscious experience
00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:27.099
with your body. Sometimes it's your consciousness
00:29:27.099 --> 00:29:30.420
is taken from your body. And I find it interesting.
00:29:30.599 --> 00:29:34.140
Now, I don't mean it to say, like, along the
00:29:34.140 --> 00:29:37.779
lines, I know that this was planned. Along the
00:29:37.779 --> 00:29:40.180
lines, I must have agreed to it. But I think
00:29:40.180 --> 00:29:44.140
there is also, like, in the circumstance in 2021
00:29:44.140 --> 00:29:46.460
where I was with the person that I had an affair
00:29:46.460 --> 00:29:49.680
with, that person sitting in front of me was
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:54.480
not the person I knew. other entities came into
00:29:54.480 --> 00:29:58.119
him and were operating and doing some, some things
00:29:58.119 --> 00:30:01.079
from other timelines. Like they pulled me into
00:30:01.079 --> 00:30:03.700
another timeline. Then I came back in and I started
00:30:03.700 --> 00:30:05.539
to get all of this disclosure. It was really
00:30:05.539 --> 00:30:08.660
interesting. When I woke up on the floor in my
00:30:08.660 --> 00:30:12.099
body, I looked up and I saw this big screen floating
00:30:12.099 --> 00:30:14.779
above me. This wasn't onto any like plant medicine
00:30:14.779 --> 00:30:16.900
or psychedelics. This is just you connected.
00:30:16.920 --> 00:30:20.319
Just me, just me. And so my exploration with
00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:23.220
psychedelics, has been to try to get back to
00:30:23.220 --> 00:30:26.240
that point and understand and be on the same
00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:28.859
level so like when i was at that after i had
00:30:28.859 --> 00:30:31.299
that experience there was like a period of i'll
00:30:31.299 --> 00:30:33.819
say a month but the first two weeks were like
00:30:33.819 --> 00:30:37.099
the highest level energy and i was really able
00:30:37.099 --> 00:30:42.319
to see through the different dimensions and i
00:30:42.319 --> 00:30:45.380
had an awareness of spirit around and through
00:30:45.380 --> 00:30:49.109
everything at all times energy everything i could
00:30:49.109 --> 00:30:51.730
see the energy of everything it was wild but
00:30:51.730 --> 00:30:53.890
i also thought i was kind of going crazy because
00:30:53.890 --> 00:30:57.710
i'm a channel but i did not know this so i'm
00:30:57.710 --> 00:31:00.069
receiving all this information i can hear them
00:31:00.069 --> 00:31:02.730
i can see them i can smell them but like not
00:31:02.730 --> 00:31:05.849
see them like an out of like an like an external
00:31:05.849 --> 00:31:09.150
apparition but i could see it in my my mind's
00:31:09.150 --> 00:31:11.009
eye you know what i mean like things would appear
00:31:11.009 --> 00:31:13.809
and it's sort of like but also i did see things
00:31:13.809 --> 00:31:17.779
physically outside of me like and it's interesting
00:31:17.779 --> 00:31:19.440
because my new boyfriend has seen them too he
00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:23.240
described it like gasoline i've said like wavy
00:31:23.240 --> 00:31:27.220
heat like a mirage but you can see them i've
00:31:27.220 --> 00:31:29.880
seen them it's like an outline of a person but
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:33.019
they look like it's like the magic eye books
00:31:33.019 --> 00:31:34.660
from back in the day where the image is there
00:31:34.660 --> 00:31:37.299
but you have to be able to see it yeah yeah but
00:31:37.299 --> 00:31:40.799
otherwise it's very interesting but this kind
00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:46.279
of like yeah yeah all right So I've seen shamans
00:31:46.279 --> 00:31:49.039
and I've had all kinds of like, you know, different
00:31:49.039 --> 00:31:52.079
insights, readings to try to understand what
00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:55.019
that was. But apparently it's from a past life
00:31:55.019 --> 00:31:59.500
connection. They did some dark magic to be able
00:31:59.500 --> 00:32:02.640
to get in at a certain time. It was also aligned
00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:05.759
with a lunar eclipse. So they were like, you
00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:07.799
know, harnessing the energy of all of that. But
00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:11.599
I do ultimately think I agreed to it. I think
00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:15.019
that that was my initiation to wake up. to being
00:32:15.019 --> 00:32:21.799
a shaman and to step into like that line of my
00:32:21.799 --> 00:32:23.960
life, because I was just, I thought that I was
00:32:23.960 --> 00:32:24.839
doing important things. It's a hell of a freaking
00:32:24.839 --> 00:32:29.000
leap. Yeah. It's a leap. Yeah. It was a lot,
00:32:29.019 --> 00:32:32.440
but so that again, no plant medicine, no spiritual
00:32:32.440 --> 00:32:35.400
knowledge. It's not like any of this leaked in
00:32:35.400 --> 00:32:37.500
from my subconscious of things that I learned
00:32:37.500 --> 00:32:39.559
because I didn't learn any of this. I had to
00:32:39.559 --> 00:32:42.730
find out what it was. You got to remember how
00:32:42.730 --> 00:32:46.230
powerful and beautiful you are and divine. Yeah.
00:32:46.309 --> 00:32:49.930
And unlimited. Yeah. So I discovered that I was
00:32:49.930 --> 00:32:56.369
a priestess and a lot of my power comes from
00:32:56.369 --> 00:33:02.430
my sacral energy and how my human design elicits
00:33:02.430 --> 00:33:08.349
sacral energy from other people and also elicits
00:33:08.349 --> 00:33:13.089
their shadows to come. out to me it's it's fascinating
00:33:13.089 --> 00:33:16.329
to witness at this point i used to be like what
00:33:16.329 --> 00:33:18.809
am i doing wrong what did i do like i didn't
00:33:18.809 --> 00:33:20.490
you know i kind of would get like blamed for
00:33:20.490 --> 00:33:22.630
stuff or people like projecting their energy
00:33:22.630 --> 00:33:26.450
onto me but i just i understand now um associated
00:33:26.450 --> 00:33:29.430
with human design i'm a projector and i my aura
00:33:29.430 --> 00:33:32.170
is penetrative it just goes into people's stuff
00:33:32.170 --> 00:33:36.900
and i pull stuff out and people notice that energy
00:33:36.900 --> 00:33:40.579
and yeah so it's been very helpful for me to
00:33:40.579 --> 00:33:42.960
put it in within the frameworks of the existing
00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:48.420
um understanding um along the lines of like astrology
00:33:48.420 --> 00:33:51.539
human design gene keys like trying to like understand
00:33:51.539 --> 00:33:55.480
and map out myself a little bit after having
00:33:55.480 --> 00:34:01.180
immediate downloads of like it's like a flip
00:34:01.180 --> 00:34:03.440
book of all these different lifetimes it's kind
00:34:03.440 --> 00:34:06.180
of like a like a life review like a near -death
00:34:06.180 --> 00:34:08.760
experience almost. It's like you see all this
00:34:08.760 --> 00:34:11.400
information all at once, but you understand it
00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:15.019
and feel it and remember it. But it's too much
00:34:15.019 --> 00:34:17.420
for my brain, like my conscious mind. You know
00:34:17.420 --> 00:34:21.059
what I mean? It's in my body, but I'm still unraveling
00:34:21.059 --> 00:34:24.780
it in my brain to understand. And I may not ever
00:34:24.780 --> 00:34:28.239
actually understand it, but I'm trying. I love
00:34:28.239 --> 00:34:30.619
this. So I've got a bunch of shit written down.
00:34:30.699 --> 00:34:32.760
There's like 12 topics that you just flowed on
00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:36.079
that are all... exactly all the stuff that I
00:34:36.079 --> 00:34:38.780
spend my time and energy on. So I want to say
00:34:38.780 --> 00:34:40.579
a couple of things to you personally, but then
00:34:40.579 --> 00:34:43.519
kind of like so practical for your listeners,
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:45.980
for my fans. But then, you know, when you and
00:34:45.980 --> 00:34:47.500
I are speaking too, I think we're speaking out
00:34:47.500 --> 00:34:51.659
loud for ourselves as well, because this is a
00:34:51.659 --> 00:34:53.800
weird thing to lean into. Like, what does it
00:34:53.800 --> 00:34:55.420
mean that you're having past life regressions?
00:34:55.420 --> 00:34:57.599
What does it mean that you're tapping in? And,
00:34:57.599 --> 00:35:00.570
you know, I went to college for almost eight
00:35:00.570 --> 00:35:03.429
years studying entomology. So I had a very trained
00:35:03.429 --> 00:35:06.809
data collection. I was an atheist. I was raised
00:35:06.809 --> 00:35:08.730
a Catholic, but then really all through high
00:35:08.730 --> 00:35:10.949
school and college, I was an atheist, but it
00:35:10.949 --> 00:35:14.190
was just really data collection. And then really
00:35:14.190 --> 00:35:17.570
for 20 years of my life, it was just business
00:35:17.570 --> 00:35:19.829
and clouded and material things. So this is all
00:35:19.829 --> 00:35:23.690
new to me up until 40 years old. And again, with...
00:35:23.869 --> 00:35:26.789
alcohol getting out of my life. So I give everybody
00:35:26.789 --> 00:35:28.510
the grace and the space to be wherever they're
00:35:28.510 --> 00:35:31.010
along in their path. There's no wrong or right.
00:35:31.110 --> 00:35:33.010
It's not like, well, you've got to catch up or
00:35:33.010 --> 00:35:35.409
how do you not understand hermetic principles
00:35:35.409 --> 00:35:37.750
or texts or you've got to go back into the Lucinian
00:35:37.750 --> 00:35:39.489
mysteries and you've got to do this and you've
00:35:39.489 --> 00:35:41.630
got to build your psychedelic resume. None of
00:35:41.630 --> 00:35:44.309
that. If you're even just having the inclining
00:35:44.309 --> 00:35:47.309
of self -exploration and trying to remember your
00:35:47.309 --> 00:35:51.190
divine connection, awesome. So a couple things.
00:35:51.349 --> 00:35:52.929
You mentioned about that you're a projector.
00:35:53.659 --> 00:35:55.800
And you've realized that. One thing, and I'm
00:35:55.800 --> 00:35:57.480
sure you've realized it too, but people in this
00:35:57.480 --> 00:36:00.079
situation, we are also a sponge. And we're taking
00:36:00.079 --> 00:36:02.400
in a lot of other people's energies, good and
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:04.320
bad. So when we see the puppy and the little
00:36:04.320 --> 00:36:06.719
baby, you know, smiling at us, yeah, that charges
00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:08.960
us. But when we see somebody in a suicidal or
00:36:08.960 --> 00:36:11.760
depressed state or hurt or painful, it's really
00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:15.260
tough for us. So it's not... you know, don't
00:36:15.260 --> 00:36:17.559
absorb that. It's we transmute and alchemize
00:36:17.559 --> 00:36:20.659
that. And that's what me, my friends, and it
00:36:20.659 --> 00:36:22.639
sounds like you were doing as well is, all right,
00:36:22.659 --> 00:36:25.659
so let's be that light. Let's take with all the
00:36:25.659 --> 00:36:27.699
past and all the trauma and all our own lessons
00:36:27.699 --> 00:36:30.039
learned and our own going through the dark night
00:36:30.039 --> 00:36:32.719
of our soul, what can we take other people's
00:36:32.719 --> 00:36:35.320
darkness, transmute it, alchemize it, and help
00:36:35.320 --> 00:36:37.659
them show the light. So, you know, there's a
00:36:37.659 --> 00:36:39.969
lot there. Thank you for your intimate share
00:36:39.969 --> 00:36:42.730
about the affair as a catalyst to get things
00:36:42.730 --> 00:36:45.650
going. My catalyst, and I mentioned it on most
00:36:45.650 --> 00:36:47.269
of my podcasts, is I had a restraining order
00:36:47.269 --> 00:36:54.150
put against me. Me too. Twice. And then I feel
00:36:54.150 --> 00:36:57.289
like I got to preface it as I talk with a beautiful
00:36:57.289 --> 00:36:59.030
young woman, and I'm sure a lot of your guests
00:36:59.030 --> 00:37:02.329
are, and that I'm rebuilding my karmic relationship
00:37:02.329 --> 00:37:05.690
with women. And I now am so blessed to have like...
00:37:06.110 --> 00:37:08.070
Fucking, this isn't even hyperbolic now. I've
00:37:08.070 --> 00:37:11.010
got like 50 amazing women in my life that, from
00:37:11.010 --> 00:37:13.329
all the roles, from sisters, nieces, mothers,
00:37:13.469 --> 00:37:16.610
mentors, like shaman teachers, sexual partners,
00:37:16.710 --> 00:37:18.829
all of that. And, you know, so it really is,
00:37:18.929 --> 00:37:21.590
I've got to be careful. But I've never been in
00:37:21.590 --> 00:37:23.289
a fight in my life. I've never raised my hand
00:37:23.289 --> 00:37:25.050
to anybody. So I get the restraining order, not
00:37:25.050 --> 00:37:27.190
because I was physically abusive, but because
00:37:27.190 --> 00:37:29.110
I was mentally, verbally, and quite frankly,
00:37:29.190 --> 00:37:33.269
spatially. I was able to really like, bruh. But
00:37:33.269 --> 00:37:37.239
in retrospect, That was what I needed to take
00:37:37.239 --> 00:37:39.320
a step back and be like, oh shit, what type of
00:37:39.320 --> 00:37:41.679
animal are you that you're screaming with your
00:37:41.679 --> 00:37:44.019
veins out, pointing at a hundred pound gorgeous
00:37:44.019 --> 00:37:46.699
woman who did nothing but call you a bluff and
00:37:46.699 --> 00:37:48.699
trigger your own trauma that had to do with 20
00:37:48.699 --> 00:37:52.480
years prior. But for me to have that brutal self
00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:55.619
-honesty, and it wasn't just like, there was
00:37:55.619 --> 00:37:57.400
still like a year and a half of shit that I had
00:37:57.400 --> 00:37:59.280
to keep stumbling over after that restraining
00:37:59.280 --> 00:38:01.900
order. But finally, finally, finally, it got
00:38:01.900 --> 00:38:06.840
to, in my story, is that DMT helped save my life.
00:38:07.000 --> 00:38:09.099
And I wrote the book about Butler's DMT Field
00:38:09.099 --> 00:38:11.400
Guide. That's typically the narrative that I
00:38:11.400 --> 00:38:13.900
speak about. But it was three months of shroom
00:38:13.900 --> 00:38:16.219
work with psychedelic shrooms that I really did
00:38:16.219 --> 00:38:20.320
my inner shadow, my deeming work. But it wasn't
00:38:20.320 --> 00:38:21.900
until I was standing in front of the mirror looking
00:38:21.900 --> 00:38:25.500
at myself with under five grams of shrooms with
00:38:25.500 --> 00:38:28.579
muffin top hanging over, saggy boobs, bags under
00:38:28.579 --> 00:38:31.840
my eyes, like alone, broke, fucking homeless
00:38:31.840 --> 00:38:33.599
in essence, like away from all my shit. I had
00:38:33.599 --> 00:38:35.860
lost everything. And it's like, what are you
00:38:35.860 --> 00:38:37.840
doing? And who do you have to blame? And in my
00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:40.159
particular case, I've had every advantage 10x,
00:38:40.719 --> 00:38:42.900
and there's no excuses for me to have any reason
00:38:42.900 --> 00:38:44.960
for me to be the degenerate that I was in that
00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:48.019
area. But it wasn't until I stopped. looking
00:38:48.019 --> 00:38:50.320
for external solutions to my internal problems
00:38:50.320 --> 00:38:52.519
or looking for somebody to blame where it was
00:38:52.519 --> 00:38:54.280
that guy it was more money it was that woman
00:38:54.280 --> 00:38:56.500
it was how could and then i finally was just
00:38:56.500 --> 00:38:58.380
like all right adam you need to let all these
00:38:58.380 --> 00:39:00.440
voices all these energies all these things come
00:39:00.440 --> 00:39:02.980
out not tell them to shut up and go away not
00:39:02.980 --> 00:39:05.840
have an ego disassociation or disillusion um
00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:09.059
it was no let's all come to the table and now
00:39:09.059 --> 00:39:11.880
that i know what I've done and not that it has
00:39:11.880 --> 00:39:14.079
to be called IFS or internal family systems,
00:39:14.119 --> 00:39:16.400
but there's a lot of parallel work with working
00:39:16.400 --> 00:39:20.400
with IFS and shrooms and five MEO DMT, because
00:39:20.400 --> 00:39:22.780
it allows for this inner self exploration where
00:39:22.780 --> 00:39:25.760
these parts of yourself are coming out in a loving,
00:39:25.800 --> 00:39:28.519
embracing, feminine, nurturing way. And I do
00:39:28.519 --> 00:39:29.679
want to make sure before we get off recording
00:39:29.679 --> 00:39:31.760
that we do talk about the need for the feminine
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:34.559
energy to come back. Um, Oh yeah, absolutely.
00:39:35.059 --> 00:39:39.449
Absolutely. But, um, yeah, so. It was finally
00:39:39.449 --> 00:39:43.789
leaning into those parts of myself. But this
00:39:43.789 --> 00:39:47.150
is now the lesson. And it was so great that you
00:39:47.150 --> 00:39:50.349
said you experienced all of that power, all that
00:39:50.349 --> 00:39:52.630
connection to source without any medicine, without
00:39:52.630 --> 00:39:55.650
any psychedelics, without anything. And that
00:39:55.650 --> 00:39:58.250
is the big lesson. So it is within you. It is
00:39:58.250 --> 00:40:00.230
within me. It is within everybody. You do not
00:40:00.230 --> 00:40:02.190
need psychedelics. Psychedelics are not for everybody.
00:40:02.409 --> 00:40:04.010
You don't need to go to the Monroe Institute,
00:40:04.090 --> 00:40:06.719
pay for a service, read a book. sign up for a
00:40:06.719 --> 00:40:08.320
retreat. You don't need to go to fucking Peru.
00:40:08.880 --> 00:40:12.019
All of this power is within us. Now it could
00:40:12.019 --> 00:40:14.579
be yoga. It could be karate. It could be a cold
00:40:14.579 --> 00:40:17.019
plunge. The point of it all is, is we all need
00:40:17.019 --> 00:40:19.079
to realize that we're worthy to take the time
00:40:19.079 --> 00:40:21.840
for ourselves to do the exploration. So like
00:40:21.840 --> 00:40:23.079
when you said that you were planning on going
00:40:23.079 --> 00:40:25.519
away to do like an eco thing and be take time
00:40:25.519 --> 00:40:28.639
for yourself. It's like, yes. Now that's not
00:40:28.639 --> 00:40:30.559
the magic pill, but it'll lead you on the path
00:40:30.559 --> 00:40:32.500
to the next path, to the next path, to the next
00:40:32.500 --> 00:40:34.400
person. And it sounds like you are beautifully
00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:37.170
on your own. amazing journey and that's what
00:40:37.170 --> 00:40:39.349
happens when you lean in but it's tough to lean
00:40:39.349 --> 00:40:41.190
in to being like oh what are you i don't know
00:40:41.190 --> 00:40:43.630
i'm the dmt guy that saves lives and i talk about
00:40:43.630 --> 00:40:45.989
sex and psychedelics oh and look at like i just
00:40:45.989 --> 00:40:48.349
got these new new tattoos of the mantis entities
00:40:48.349 --> 00:40:50.210
and the jesters that i mess with and it's just
00:40:50.210 --> 00:40:52.909
like all right like really i used to be the real
00:40:52.909 --> 00:40:54.849
estate investor the guy that had all this shit
00:40:54.849 --> 00:40:56.489
that had all the titles that would walk around
00:40:56.489 --> 00:40:58.630
and be like and now you know wearing a fucking
00:40:58.630 --> 00:41:02.300
purple shirt with a patched on flower pocket.
00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:05.420
But I'm the happiest I've ever been and I'm never
00:41:05.420 --> 00:41:07.659
going to revert back to that other shit because
00:41:07.659 --> 00:41:11.480
my life is so fun and amazing and content and
00:41:11.480 --> 00:41:14.360
I have every one of my dreams manifesting and
00:41:14.360 --> 00:41:16.559
I don't allow anything that doesn't resonate
00:41:16.559 --> 00:41:20.079
to my core into my life. That's the message.
00:41:20.280 --> 00:41:22.099
So if I went from suicidal, wanted to really
00:41:22.099 --> 00:41:24.619
hurt myself and get out of this planet to now
00:41:24.619 --> 00:41:27.820
I'm living every second and I know that I just
00:41:27.820 --> 00:41:30.760
need to take a moment breathe be here now look
00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:32.440
where your feet are standing right now and there's
00:41:32.440 --> 00:41:33.860
always something beautiful that you can take
00:41:33.860 --> 00:41:36.300
from that absolutely no matter where you are
00:41:36.300 --> 00:41:38.000
because like no matter where you are even if
00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:39.579
you're in the pile of shit there's a lesson to
00:41:39.579 --> 00:41:42.760
learn absolutely the biggest lessons and the
00:41:42.760 --> 00:41:45.659
brightest gold you will find in the darkness
00:41:45.659 --> 00:41:50.300
so yes but you you just you know said that fluidly
00:41:50.300 --> 00:41:51.820
because you've experienced it a few times but
00:41:51.820 --> 00:41:54.039
maybe for the younger person or maybe for somebody
00:41:54.039 --> 00:41:55.980
that's life has just been easy or you know that
00:41:55.980 --> 00:41:58.039
they've had a 40 -year marriage and then they
00:41:58.039 --> 00:42:00.980
realize like whatever some is blown up and they
00:42:00.980 --> 00:42:03.559
have to redo their life change is difficult and
00:42:03.559 --> 00:42:04.940
i'm not when we can't just say and be like oh
00:42:04.940 --> 00:42:06.380
it'll be easy no it's not gonna be easy it's
00:42:06.380 --> 00:42:08.320
gonna be terrifying it's gonna be horrible you
00:42:08.320 --> 00:42:10.280
will be crying you will feel like you're gonna
00:42:10.280 --> 00:42:13.219
puke you will feel like you can't sleep but if
00:42:13.219 --> 00:42:15.360
you can understand that that's when you're in
00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:17.710
your chris list that's when that that caterpillars
00:42:17.710 --> 00:42:20.010
forming into the butterfly that's when the the
00:42:20.010 --> 00:42:22.289
chunk of coal is being compressed with heat pressure
00:42:22.289 --> 00:42:25.869
um you know to become the diamond and there's
00:42:25.869 --> 00:42:29.849
enough stories of me you our friends but stop
00:42:29.849 --> 00:42:32.510
not stop but look back thousands and thousands
00:42:32.510 --> 00:42:34.789
of years of all written history of all esoteric
00:42:34.789 --> 00:42:38.469
teachings of all religions of every good poetry
00:42:38.469 --> 00:42:43.400
of of the human story and narrative is just everybody's
00:42:43.400 --> 00:42:45.340
saying exactly what we're saying but trying to
00:42:45.340 --> 00:42:48.219
share their own perspective and they i mean the
00:42:48.219 --> 00:42:51.539
universal thread is is too big to make too many
00:42:51.539 --> 00:42:52.980
ropes where it's just like no there's something
00:42:52.980 --> 00:42:55.280
there like there's something greater than just
00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:58.500
you and i in this current reincarnation of adam
00:42:58.500 --> 00:43:00.579
and christine that there's a lot more there and
00:43:00.579 --> 00:43:03.920
i've had a recent past life regression that also
00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:06.079
was parallel to psychedelic experiences and so
00:43:06.079 --> 00:43:07.639
you explaining kind of like some of the stuff
00:43:07.639 --> 00:43:11.019
you had it's like yeah that's that's it And I
00:43:11.019 --> 00:43:13.280
can explain. Yeah. No, not can explain, but my
00:43:13.280 --> 00:43:16.840
overall philosophy about consciousness and how
00:43:16.840 --> 00:43:19.860
we're tapping into this and how we're able to
00:43:19.860 --> 00:43:21.760
kind of see different vibrations. And you mentioned
00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:24.179
your friend seeing it as gasoline and you seeing
00:43:24.179 --> 00:43:26.599
it as something else. I can explain that. Well,
00:43:26.659 --> 00:43:28.480
I can explain my interpretation of that, but
00:43:28.480 --> 00:43:31.400
I want to. Yes, please do. I want you to. Well,
00:43:31.460 --> 00:43:33.860
yeah, that kind of is like along the lines of
00:43:33.860 --> 00:43:36.840
this question I just wanted to ask you. So you've
00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:40.059
said that DMT can feel more real than ordinary
00:43:40.059 --> 00:43:44.159
reality. But what does real mean to you now that
00:43:44.159 --> 00:43:47.679
you've experienced like living in the present
00:43:47.679 --> 00:43:50.340
moment meditation, just like being completely
00:43:50.340 --> 00:43:53.639
stone cold sober, but then also working with
00:43:53.639 --> 00:43:58.099
the compounds of DMT to be able to see through
00:43:58.099 --> 00:44:02.010
the different realms? What is real? So that phrase,
00:44:02.110 --> 00:44:04.730
you know, more real than real, it's not necessarily
00:44:04.730 --> 00:44:08.230
something that I would have like used to originate
00:44:08.230 --> 00:44:10.570
because I'd like to expand upon that. But that
00:44:10.570 --> 00:44:12.670
was a phrase that came out of, or how I can introduce
00:44:12.670 --> 00:44:14.969
that phrase was, and anybody interested in DMT,
00:44:15.010 --> 00:44:17.690
I would recommend beginning with Dr. Rick Strassman.
00:44:18.050 --> 00:44:20.989
He had wrote the book, The Spirit Molecule. He
00:44:20.989 --> 00:44:22.909
is really one of, not one, he is the authority
00:44:22.909 --> 00:44:24.889
in my opinion in the DMT space. Now there's a
00:44:24.889 --> 00:44:26.750
lot of new researchers out. There's a lot of
00:44:26.750 --> 00:44:30.039
people that are more active than him. um but
00:44:30.039 --> 00:44:32.320
he's just got a great understanding of the dmt
00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:34.940
molecule and he did a study in the 1990s that
00:44:34.940 --> 00:44:38.320
had 60 volunteers and they went deep multiple
00:44:38.320 --> 00:44:41.019
sessions and the common kind of thing and they
00:44:41.019 --> 00:44:44.869
all had their unique subjective experiences But
00:44:44.869 --> 00:44:46.610
they all kind of came back saying a similar thing,
00:44:46.730 --> 00:44:48.610
which was in essence, wow, that was more real
00:44:48.610 --> 00:44:51.110
than real. It wasn't like a psychedelic trip
00:44:51.110 --> 00:44:53.710
that you would have on LSD or shrooms where you
00:44:53.710 --> 00:44:55.869
know it's like Alice in Wonderland and there's,
00:44:55.869 --> 00:44:57.530
you know, the walls are melting and there's a
00:44:57.530 --> 00:44:59.269
whale going over this and it's like, what the
00:44:59.269 --> 00:45:01.570
fuck is this? Like, that's clearly not more real
00:45:01.570 --> 00:45:04.489
than real. Like, that is, that's my mind on a
00:45:04.489 --> 00:45:07.949
hallucinogenic drug. That's not what these volunteers
00:45:07.949 --> 00:45:13.929
were saying. i can 100 understand why they're
00:45:13.929 --> 00:45:16.070
saying that and every every person that goes
00:45:16.070 --> 00:45:18.530
into the dmt space will understand that and i
00:45:18.530 --> 00:45:20.909
think a way that i can articulate it without
00:45:20.909 --> 00:45:22.869
really trying to paint a visual because it's
00:45:22.869 --> 00:45:26.010
nearly impossible but would be that most people
00:45:26.010 --> 00:45:28.690
think that we have no normal five human senses
00:45:29.179 --> 00:45:31.519
Now, if we can dial those up to a maximum of
00:45:31.519 --> 00:45:34.659
negative 10 to positive 10, well, in the DMT
00:45:34.659 --> 00:45:37.559
space, you become hypersensitive and you're able
00:45:37.559 --> 00:45:40.519
to dial up that sensitivity to 100 or 1 ,000
00:45:40.519 --> 00:45:42.480
or a million. So you're able to get into a much
00:45:42.480 --> 00:45:47.000
deeper bandwidth of... visual depth auditory
00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:49.780
depth vibratory hum visible sensation connect
00:45:49.780 --> 00:45:51.820
you can hear the synapses in your brain firing
00:45:51.820 --> 00:45:53.820
you can feel the blood going through every cell
00:45:53.820 --> 00:45:56.239
of your body you can feel every follicle of hair
00:45:56.239 --> 00:45:58.760
where it goes in like i mean people like you
00:45:58.760 --> 00:46:02.159
know we talk about sex and then my ex like i've
00:46:02.159 --> 00:46:05.579
literally released myself and felt my energetic
00:46:05.579 --> 00:46:08.079
my energy in each sperm that was outside of my
00:46:08.079 --> 00:46:10.679
body like it was like what a mind fuck that is
00:46:10.679 --> 00:46:13.730
where it's just like what the like my semen over
00:46:13.730 --> 00:46:17.090
there is still like oh but it must be how god
00:46:17.090 --> 00:46:21.590
feels through god my article coming up thank
00:46:21.590 --> 00:46:22.650
you i don't know if you were trying to plug what
00:46:22.650 --> 00:46:24.590
i just said that i was doing no i had no idea
00:46:24.590 --> 00:46:27.489
my next article that i'm writing is through god's
00:46:27.489 --> 00:46:29.869
eyes a psychedelic perspective and it is kind
00:46:29.869 --> 00:46:33.210
of seeing seeing the world you know through this
00:46:33.210 --> 00:46:37.099
but to to answer the question further um if we
00:46:37.099 --> 00:46:39.679
can dial up our sensitivity of our normal human
00:46:39.679 --> 00:46:41.920
five senses to a much greater length and and
00:46:41.920 --> 00:46:46.320
you know that's add an amplifier to a um you
00:46:46.320 --> 00:46:49.380
know to a guitar uh use x -rays to say deeper
00:46:49.380 --> 00:46:51.440
you know so it's very obvious that we can expand
00:46:51.440 --> 00:46:55.079
beyond or add to our five senses but then we
00:46:55.079 --> 00:46:57.739
have way way way more than that and whether it's
00:46:57.739 --> 00:47:00.219
people that have telepathy um the ability to
00:47:00.219 --> 00:47:02.420
remote view the ability of people to tap into
00:47:02.420 --> 00:47:06.699
the akashic records People too, there's so many
00:47:06.699 --> 00:47:08.340
different things that the human body is capable
00:47:08.340 --> 00:47:10.780
of. And there's, again, not my story or your
00:47:10.780 --> 00:47:12.900
story, but it's just the human story is that
00:47:12.900 --> 00:47:15.820
there's, that's what we can do. So in the DMT
00:47:15.820 --> 00:47:18.860
space, you not only heighten those five senses
00:47:18.860 --> 00:47:21.340
to a much greater level, but then they're expanding
00:47:21.340 --> 00:47:25.880
upon each individual's unique. other senses.
00:47:25.960 --> 00:47:28.440
And it's not like one or two. There's like freaking
00:47:28.440 --> 00:47:31.440
10, 15, 20 senses that come on. And I don't quite
00:47:31.440 --> 00:47:33.099
know how to explain it because what are you explaining?
00:47:33.380 --> 00:47:36.179
It's an increased sensitivity to vibratory information
00:47:36.179 --> 00:47:38.840
and you're able to take in so much more data
00:47:38.840 --> 00:47:41.719
points. So if in a normal walking state of seven
00:47:41.719 --> 00:47:44.980
minutes on non -DMT, say you had taken 100 data
00:47:44.980 --> 00:47:48.039
points. Well, a seven minute blast on DMT, you're
00:47:48.039 --> 00:47:49.800
doing that same thing, but you're taking in 100
00:47:49.800 --> 00:47:52.440
,000 data points. So how is that not more real
00:47:52.440 --> 00:47:55.500
than real? In any scenario, there's more pixels
00:47:55.500 --> 00:47:57.440
than less. It's going to be more clear. There's
00:47:57.440 --> 00:47:59.900
more notes and refined frequencies. You're going
00:47:59.900 --> 00:48:04.019
to hear more. There's 10 data points or 100 ,000.
00:48:04.159 --> 00:48:07.739
Clearly more real than real. And if I could,
00:48:07.780 --> 00:48:10.400
because it ties and segues into the bigger question
00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:13.460
and I think the overall arcing thing, which is
00:48:13.460 --> 00:48:16.360
what we're all explaining, which is, okay, so
00:48:16.360 --> 00:48:18.139
there's something greater than. There's something
00:48:18.139 --> 00:48:20.460
that we can tap into. There's this God source
00:48:20.460 --> 00:48:23.000
energy. People are talking about remote viewing,
00:48:23.199 --> 00:48:25.900
Monroe Institute's teaching binaural beats that
00:48:25.900 --> 00:48:28.380
transcend you out. I just did a darkness retreat
00:48:28.380 --> 00:48:31.340
that was 100 plus hours of pitch blackness. I
00:48:31.340 --> 00:48:35.139
transcended out of my body. And I think the overall
00:48:35.139 --> 00:48:37.900
thing is we are much greater than our physical
00:48:37.900 --> 00:48:41.619
body. We do have a spiritual and energetic field
00:48:41.619 --> 00:48:44.559
around us that if we can learn how to tap into
00:48:44.559 --> 00:48:47.280
that, to increase the sensitivity, to add and
00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:51.059
refine in our own unique way. you're able to
00:48:51.059 --> 00:48:53.260
just really become hypersensitive to everything.
00:48:53.460 --> 00:48:56.039
So now, like, in my non -psychedelic, just me
00:48:56.039 --> 00:48:59.599
walking around, I am so sensitive to smell, taste,
00:48:59.719 --> 00:49:02.420
touch, sound than I was five years ago. Just
00:49:02.420 --> 00:49:05.980
fully, fully, like, I can hear, like, I walk
00:49:05.980 --> 00:49:07.599
through the woods and I'm not hearing birds.
00:49:07.699 --> 00:49:09.539
I'm hearing the 12 different species of birds.
00:49:09.659 --> 00:49:11.619
I know when the winds change directions because
00:49:11.619 --> 00:49:13.900
the air, the rustling of the leaf is coming from
00:49:13.900 --> 00:49:16.619
here and not here. And, like, in a beautiful
00:49:16.619 --> 00:49:18.920
way, not in an overwhelming way. More connected
00:49:18.920 --> 00:49:22.380
with nature. Just so fucking dialed in. But now,
00:49:22.599 --> 00:49:26.400
and this is the practical point of it, is there
00:49:26.400 --> 00:49:30.150
is so much more. So when you... ingest psychedelics
00:49:30.150 --> 00:49:33.190
or DMT or you get into a deep meditative yoga
00:49:33.190 --> 00:49:35.889
state or your friend and I'm sorry to keep referencing
00:49:35.889 --> 00:49:37.809
it but I really I loved her energy I loved her
00:49:37.809 --> 00:49:39.989
smile and she was talking about where at one
00:49:39.989 --> 00:49:42.750
point she was in a flow state and I'm just picturing
00:49:42.750 --> 00:49:44.590
her where she my understanding was like she had
00:49:44.590 --> 00:49:46.929
her hands swirling and she was just kind of like
00:49:46.929 --> 00:49:49.309
letting it go and you could see somebody like
00:49:49.309 --> 00:49:51.090
because this is what I do like you're playing
00:49:51.090 --> 00:49:53.170
with the energy like you're really you're there
00:49:53.170 --> 00:49:56.599
you're fucking in it and you're I'm just getting
00:49:56.599 --> 00:49:58.599
goosebumps doing that because I'm doing it myself
00:49:58.599 --> 00:50:01.159
right now. But you're able to tap into something
00:50:01.159 --> 00:50:04.400
way greater. And it's not, well, let's learn
00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:06.019
what Adam does or Christine does or Christina
00:50:06.019 --> 00:50:09.659
does. We all can tap into, all right, maybe people
00:50:09.659 --> 00:50:11.980
are sensitive to aliens, to DMT entities, to
00:50:11.980 --> 00:50:15.900
ghosts, to past spirits, past souls, animal spirits.
00:50:17.760 --> 00:50:20.179
And it's all, to me, that's not woo -woo fluff.
00:50:20.280 --> 00:50:22.579
That's not people fucking talking shit or just
00:50:22.579 --> 00:50:25.280
trying to sell shit. I know enough people in
00:50:25.280 --> 00:50:26.920
my life that have no reason to lie, they're not
00:50:26.920 --> 00:50:28.280
trying to sell books, they're not trying to do
00:50:28.280 --> 00:50:30.360
anything, that they've increased their sensitivity
00:50:30.360 --> 00:50:33.039
where they can do these things consistently and
00:50:33.039 --> 00:50:35.480
tap into altered elevated states of consciousness
00:50:35.480 --> 00:50:37.699
where then there is different and new information
00:50:37.699 --> 00:50:40.840
that people can take back. Absolutely. What I
00:50:40.840 --> 00:50:42.699
love about your podcast, what you're sharing,
00:50:42.800 --> 00:50:45.670
and what I'm trying to share is... It's psychedelics
00:50:45.670 --> 00:50:47.369
are not for everybody. DMT is definitely not
00:50:47.369 --> 00:50:49.989
for everybody. There's not one modality. There's
00:50:49.989 --> 00:50:52.730
dozens and dozens of modalities. But the point
00:50:52.730 --> 00:50:55.170
is, if we all share and we all share our stories,
00:50:55.250 --> 00:50:57.570
we can get each other to that proverbial mountaintop.
00:50:57.590 --> 00:51:00.309
And that mountaintop isn't Jesus or Buddha or
00:51:00.309 --> 00:51:03.849
Krishna or Allah. It isn't DMT gods or this is
00:51:03.849 --> 00:51:06.769
the key to your own Akashic corridor. It's just
00:51:06.769 --> 00:51:11.440
know that... The power is within. We have everything
00:51:11.440 --> 00:51:13.260
we need within us and we just have to learn how
00:51:13.260 --> 00:51:15.639
to kind of like shift our perspective and then
00:51:15.639 --> 00:51:19.280
give our body the physiology to let it flow and
00:51:19.280 --> 00:51:21.300
release and then lean into it. And that's the
00:51:21.300 --> 00:51:23.260
tough part. Give us self -permission to be awesome.
00:51:23.860 --> 00:51:26.380
Understand that, yeah, this is your path. And
00:51:26.380 --> 00:51:27.639
if there's going to be people that look at you
00:51:27.639 --> 00:51:29.039
and be like, really, Christine, guess what she's
00:51:29.039 --> 00:51:31.019
into? Akashic records, crystals, and oh my God,
00:51:31.059 --> 00:51:32.820
she's probably talking to a DMT guy. It's like,
00:51:32.820 --> 00:51:36.269
all right, cool. That's not for you. i do want
00:51:36.269 --> 00:51:39.050
to share a plant medicine experience that i had
00:51:39.050 --> 00:51:42.630
uh at my last group retreat because the previous
00:51:42.630 --> 00:51:45.489
one that i had like the most recent plant medicine
00:51:45.489 --> 00:51:48.929
experience i had i worked with iboga and sassafras
00:51:48.929 --> 00:51:52.289
but it was a private retreat the one before that
00:51:52.289 --> 00:51:57.389
was a group retreat and it was um ayahuasca watch
00:51:57.389 --> 00:52:01.880
and wachuma um and I think it was the ayahuasca
00:52:01.880 --> 00:52:06.500
night and I was in circle and journey. And all
00:52:06.500 --> 00:52:10.139
of a sudden I was a newborn baby again in my
00:52:10.139 --> 00:52:12.880
crib. I just knew it because it was like, I could
00:52:12.880 --> 00:52:15.480
see the panels and I looked up at the ceiling.
00:52:15.980 --> 00:52:20.039
I was crying because I needed to be held. Like
00:52:20.039 --> 00:52:22.940
I needed the connection. I needed love. So I
00:52:22.940 --> 00:52:27.460
was like, you know, asking. for that basically
00:52:27.460 --> 00:52:31.519
the only way i could through crying and i looked
00:52:31.519 --> 00:52:34.280
up at the ceiling and there was this giant purple
00:52:34.280 --> 00:52:38.579
cloud like gaseous cloud and that's all i see
00:52:38.579 --> 00:52:42.889
as god um in many different experiences that
00:52:42.889 --> 00:52:44.989
i've had even just meditation even just falling
00:52:44.989 --> 00:52:48.110
asleep i see this like purple gas and it sort
00:52:48.110 --> 00:52:50.530
of like turns to like smoke and it you know moves
00:52:50.530 --> 00:52:54.010
around sometimes i see like visions inside if
00:52:54.010 --> 00:52:57.329
you can focus in enough but anyway that's just
00:52:57.329 --> 00:53:00.889
sober but on this plant anyway that's fucking
00:53:00.889 --> 00:53:03.309
big you're saying you're talking to this amorphous
00:53:03.309 --> 00:53:05.829
gas that's your connection to god that is gorgeous
00:53:05.829 --> 00:53:08.730
yeah so i'm looking at the ceiling people need
00:53:08.730 --> 00:53:12.469
to hear Yeah, but see, I have seen this my whole
00:53:12.469 --> 00:53:14.289
life, and I thought, like, I didn't think anything
00:53:14.289 --> 00:53:17.449
of it. Like, I just had no idea. So then I look
00:53:17.449 --> 00:53:20.090
up, and I see in the ceiling the purple cloud,
00:53:20.329 --> 00:53:23.590
and I'm like, I need you. It says, look down.
00:53:23.789 --> 00:53:26.869
I look down at my own little baby body, and it's
00:53:26.869 --> 00:53:30.170
all filled with the purple, the same stuff. And
00:53:30.170 --> 00:53:32.949
I was like, I don't need anyone else. Like, I
00:53:32.949 --> 00:53:36.949
have it in me. The light's within. It was so,
00:53:37.090 --> 00:53:41.730
it sounds like, I feel like when I tell this
00:53:41.730 --> 00:53:43.349
experience, when I talk about this experience,
00:53:43.489 --> 00:53:46.269
it sounds kind of silly. It sounds like a basic,
00:53:46.329 --> 00:53:48.210
like, oh, you just had this profound experience.
00:53:48.389 --> 00:53:50.329
Like you were just high. Like you're just hallucinating.
00:53:50.670 --> 00:53:54.230
I go back to that moment so quickly. Whenever
00:53:54.230 --> 00:53:57.309
I feel like, let me tell you about this. I was
00:53:57.309 --> 00:53:59.110
doing a parasite cleanse a couple of months ago.
00:54:01.109 --> 00:54:03.409
One night late at night, I guess I took it a
00:54:03.409 --> 00:54:06.170
little bit too late and I had already eaten and
00:54:06.170 --> 00:54:08.269
maybe I smoked too many cigarettes. I don't know
00:54:08.269 --> 00:54:10.349
what it was. I started to feel sick as hell.
00:54:10.550 --> 00:54:13.530
I went I went into the bathroom. I started going
00:54:13.530 --> 00:54:15.849
to the bathroom. Then I needed to throw up. I
00:54:15.849 --> 00:54:17.690
was trying to not throw up because I'm already
00:54:17.690 --> 00:54:19.409
going to the bathroom. Right. It was a horrible
00:54:19.409 --> 00:54:22.170
situation. Parasite cleanse. So then I'm like.
00:54:22.829 --> 00:54:26.389
By myself, just so upset, throwing up all over
00:54:26.389 --> 00:54:30.449
myself. And I'm like, I wish in every way. And
00:54:30.449 --> 00:54:34.070
I wished that I had someone like me, right? I'm
00:54:34.070 --> 00:54:35.889
like, I wish I had someone like me who would
00:54:35.889 --> 00:54:39.409
just be like clean, throw up off the wall and
00:54:39.409 --> 00:54:41.750
like bring me water and like hold my hair back
00:54:41.750 --> 00:54:43.989
and like whatever. And then I was like, God damn
00:54:43.989 --> 00:54:48.420
it. I am right here. I'm me. I don't need someone
00:54:48.420 --> 00:54:50.860
else. Like, I have it. And I was like, even though
00:54:50.860 --> 00:54:53.639
I'm throwing up all over the wall, I'm going
00:54:53.639 --> 00:54:56.420
to stop eventually. And I can clean this up.
00:54:56.539 --> 00:54:59.280
I got this. And then you know what I heard in
00:54:59.280 --> 00:55:02.760
my head? Stevie Wonder. Don't you worry about
00:55:02.760 --> 00:55:05.400
a thing. Like, seriously, it started playing
00:55:05.400 --> 00:55:07.559
in my head. And I was like, oh, my God, thank
00:55:07.559 --> 00:55:10.579
you. I'm just fine. Even though this sucks right
00:55:10.579 --> 00:55:14.170
now, I can already. I already know it's going
00:55:14.170 --> 00:55:16.750
to be fine. I'm not sad. It was such a helpful
00:55:16.750 --> 00:55:20.889
thing. Yeah. A beautiful story. And I'm at that
00:55:20.889 --> 00:55:23.630
place. And I would put myself in that same situation.
00:55:24.409 --> 00:55:27.530
But I think why I'm so passionate about sharing
00:55:27.530 --> 00:55:30.210
my message is my life is just full of dichotomies.
00:55:30.250 --> 00:55:33.150
I've been rich. I've been poor. I've had every
00:55:33.150 --> 00:55:36.230
possible thing to the utmost extreme where now
00:55:36.230 --> 00:55:38.650
I am so content and I am so happy. And I really
00:55:38.650 --> 00:55:41.940
do skip around. fucking people must look at me
00:55:41.940 --> 00:55:43.699
like what is up with this dude and like i go
00:55:43.699 --> 00:55:45.699
up to everybody i'm giving hugs to random strangers
00:55:45.699 --> 00:55:48.619
i'm passing out stickism it's just but there
00:55:48.619 --> 00:55:51.500
was a point when when i was not and i was really
00:55:51.500 --> 00:55:54.380
uncomfortable in my own skin and and that that's
00:55:54.380 --> 00:55:56.659
horrific and that's painful and and that yes
00:55:56.659 --> 00:55:59.340
that that really sucks so it's it's nice to be
00:55:59.340 --> 00:56:03.840
able to lean into when it feels good um you said
00:56:03.840 --> 00:56:06.159
something i think are really important and what
00:56:06.159 --> 00:56:09.219
a beautiful share and what an amazing share um
00:56:10.400 --> 00:56:13.280
There's this and if and that's what people need
00:56:13.280 --> 00:56:16.360
to experience and for some They may be like and
00:56:16.360 --> 00:56:18.239
you've mentioned or to hit on it was that just
00:56:18.239 --> 00:56:20.500
you hallucinating was that maybe maybe you were
00:56:20.500 --> 00:56:22.900
having? Some whatever caloric issue with your
00:56:22.900 --> 00:56:24.659
diet excuse me. I got a beard here in my ear
00:56:24.659 --> 00:56:29.139
um Maybe maybe it was whatever it was just your
00:56:29.139 --> 00:56:31.239
brain on drugs you you were doing something and
00:56:31.239 --> 00:56:33.360
and that That comes up all the time too, and
00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:35.480
I think with your big question of consciousness
00:56:35.480 --> 00:56:38.079
so is consciousness some ethereal thing outside
00:56:38.079 --> 00:56:40.780
of us and our brain is a receiver and we're able
00:56:40.780 --> 00:56:44.039
to tap into something or is our brain like projecting
00:56:44.039 --> 00:56:46.500
and we're putting it out and this is all fabricated
00:56:46.500 --> 00:56:49.480
so when i talk about interacting with with mantis
00:56:49.480 --> 00:56:51.539
entities or jester entities well is that just
00:56:51.539 --> 00:56:54.119
me and my own little creative thing and i'm just
00:56:54.119 --> 00:56:55.519
putting it out there so there isn't something
00:56:55.519 --> 00:56:58.239
real like when you're saying you saw that um
00:56:58.239 --> 00:57:02.739
the the blob of gaseous purple and i just and
00:57:04.329 --> 00:57:06.429
I don't want to get sidetracked. It's got to
00:57:06.429 --> 00:57:09.110
be plasma. I don't even know what's wrong. It's
00:57:09.110 --> 00:57:10.889
got to be. And that's the same shit I saw in
00:57:10.889 --> 00:57:12.550
my darkness retreat. So I went to a darkness
00:57:12.550 --> 00:57:14.989
retreat to run the parallels between DMT visions.
00:57:15.530 --> 00:57:17.889
And they were very different. And I've been on
00:57:17.889 --> 00:57:19.929
multiple podcasts describing the difference between
00:57:19.929 --> 00:57:22.250
DMT visions and the psychedelic retreat visions.
00:57:22.800 --> 00:57:24.900
But the psychedelic retreat visions was, and
00:57:24.900 --> 00:57:27.440
I described it, and again, go back. And it's
00:57:27.440 --> 00:57:29.099
great that this is all on record. I described
00:57:29.099 --> 00:57:31.599
it as amorphous clouds that looked like Aurora
00:57:31.599 --> 00:57:34.440
Borealis. That for most of it, it was just white.
00:57:34.519 --> 00:57:37.260
It was just white. Now, DMT experiences are all
00:57:37.260 --> 00:57:39.619
psychedelic, moving, morphing, Alex Gray, crazy,
00:57:39.699 --> 00:57:42.900
crazy shit. This was just Aurora Borealis, white,
00:57:42.980 --> 00:57:44.739
wispy smoke. And then every once in a while,
00:57:44.860 --> 00:57:47.039
there'd be like a UV purple swirl that would
00:57:47.039 --> 00:57:49.019
come in. So for you saying that you're having
00:57:49.019 --> 00:57:53.440
this swirling UV or purple light. but now the
00:57:53.440 --> 00:57:56.460
the big the big literally like who gives a fuck
00:57:56.460 --> 00:57:59.039
if it's us hallucinating who gives a fuck if
00:57:59.039 --> 00:58:01.380
it was just induced by the darkness retreat and
00:58:01.380 --> 00:58:03.360
not between you and i all the vets that have
00:58:03.360 --> 00:58:05.599
been helped and saved by ibogaine and ketamine
00:58:05.599 --> 00:58:07.420
all the couples that are getting benefit from
00:58:07.420 --> 00:58:09.780
mdma therapy what you just described about your
00:58:09.780 --> 00:58:12.500
amazing interactions me saying very clearly hundreds
00:58:12.500 --> 00:58:15.269
of times over dmt helped save my life it does
00:58:15.269 --> 00:58:17.250
not matter in my now i'm curious and i think
00:58:17.250 --> 00:58:19.010
worthy of research and it's something i'm going
00:58:19.010 --> 00:58:21.150
to dedicate the rest of my life to as far as
00:58:21.150 --> 00:58:24.210
yeah let's let's ask more questions and get more
00:58:24.210 --> 00:58:28.269
answers but i don't need to know that ibogaine
00:58:28.269 --> 00:58:30.329
helped save several of my vet friends from not
00:58:30.329 --> 00:58:32.650
offering themselves and now i can call and let's
00:58:32.650 --> 00:58:34.789
name him i can call michael right now and say
00:58:34.789 --> 00:58:36.630
michael i love you brother and go hug that man
00:58:36.630 --> 00:58:39.110
because of the healing that happened with psychedelics
00:58:39.110 --> 00:58:42.429
i now in my personal inner circle know how many
00:58:42.429 --> 00:58:44.349
people have had, whether it be a life -changing
00:58:44.349 --> 00:58:46.250
epiphany that gets you out of a shitty marriage,
00:58:46.429 --> 00:58:48.630
that moves you out of a state, that realizes,
00:58:48.690 --> 00:58:50.289
hey, this is a dead -end job, I've got to do
00:58:50.289 --> 00:58:52.989
something, or in my case, truly, truly saved
00:58:52.989 --> 00:58:54.829
my life. Like, I would not be on this planet
00:58:54.829 --> 00:58:56.989
if I didn't have the catalyst of psychedelics
00:58:56.989 --> 00:59:00.210
to shake it up and to allow me the time to get
00:59:00.210 --> 00:59:02.530
away from the rat race of money things and egoic
00:59:02.530 --> 00:59:05.429
satiation to really try to satisfy my soul a
00:59:05.429 --> 00:59:08.280
bit. But, in my opinion... Yes, let's have the
00:59:08.280 --> 00:59:10.900
intellectual curiosity to explore those questions
00:59:10.900 --> 00:59:13.599
about the big picture of consciousness. But if
00:59:13.599 --> 00:59:16.380
you just said very matter -of -factly that you
00:59:16.380 --> 00:59:19.079
revert back to these experiences often and they're
00:59:19.079 --> 00:59:21.440
transformational on how you see yourself and
00:59:21.440 --> 00:59:23.719
what the direction of your life is, just like
00:59:23.719 --> 00:59:26.280
all of my experiences are completely changing
00:59:26.280 --> 00:59:28.820
my life and have saved my life. And then again,
00:59:28.860 --> 00:59:30.380
we've got tens of thousands, if not hundreds
00:59:30.380 --> 00:59:34.179
of thousands of parallel stories. There's real
00:59:34.179 --> 00:59:36.719
results that have real lasting effects. Call
00:59:36.719 --> 00:59:39.900
them real. Call them not real. To me, I'm not
00:59:39.900 --> 00:59:41.579
interested in that. I'm interested in sharing
00:59:41.579 --> 00:59:43.079
modalities that will help people from hurting
00:59:43.079 --> 00:59:45.400
themselves. And then more important, see how
00:59:45.400 --> 00:59:47.980
freaking awesome they all are. Because the more
00:59:47.980 --> 00:59:50.219
and more I see more and more individual humans,
00:59:50.380 --> 00:59:53.150
the more I'm like, yeah, that's... In a corny
00:59:53.150 --> 00:59:55.190
analogy, but we're all the unique puzzle piece
00:59:55.190 --> 00:59:56.889
that we need to make the puzzle. And it's not
00:59:56.889 --> 00:59:58.909
that the shiny bright one's better than the dull
00:59:58.909 --> 01:00:00.769
one or the edge piece or corner piece has more
01:00:00.769 --> 01:00:02.630
power than the other or the one with the words
01:00:02.630 --> 01:00:05.230
is really important. No, just all be your own
01:00:05.230 --> 01:00:07.070
cool, unique puzzle piece and we'll all come
01:00:07.070 --> 01:00:09.789
together. And then, yeah, it's just beautiful.
01:00:10.170 --> 01:00:12.590
Now, this is the kumbaya, woo -woo, love and
01:00:12.590 --> 01:00:15.050
light shit because that's real. We are all one.
01:00:15.090 --> 01:00:18.030
We all can be with one another. And once you
01:00:18.030 --> 01:00:21.010
remember that, it becomes so easy. to love and
01:00:21.010 --> 01:00:22.829
respect your neighbor, even with difference of
01:00:22.829 --> 01:00:25.989
opinion. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's something
01:00:25.989 --> 01:00:28.969
after my spontaneous awakening that was happening
01:00:28.969 --> 01:00:34.769
with me. Um, just a very clear awareness that
01:00:34.769 --> 01:00:37.369
we're all connected, that like God is nature.
01:00:37.469 --> 01:00:40.590
We are nature. God lives through us. God sees
01:00:40.590 --> 01:00:44.210
through us. Uh, there are entities all around
01:00:44.210 --> 01:00:47.550
us at all times, uh, lower vibrational, higher
01:00:47.550 --> 01:00:51.039
vibrational. There's a whole other unseen world.
01:00:51.800 --> 01:00:55.440
Pocahontas was right. You know, you can see the
01:00:55.440 --> 01:00:59.860
colors of the wind. It's awesome. Yeah, yeah,
01:00:59.940 --> 01:01:03.699
yeah. And it was really an incredible experience
01:01:03.699 --> 01:01:07.579
because this happened to me when I was 33. I
01:01:07.579 --> 01:01:10.130
thought, you know, I had already... I had my
01:01:10.130 --> 01:01:12.730
son when I was 17. I started working full -time
01:01:12.730 --> 01:01:15.630
in finance when I was 19. I had a career. My
01:01:15.630 --> 01:01:18.590
husband owned a business. Then I left my career.
01:01:18.670 --> 01:01:20.469
I supported the business. We worked together
01:01:20.469 --> 01:01:23.329
in business. I was highly successful, highly
01:01:23.329 --> 01:01:27.659
organized. um focused on my routine and mostly
01:01:27.659 --> 01:01:30.719
caring for others and stuff so i was just i didn't
01:01:30.719 --> 01:01:33.340
even know who i was i didn't know i thought i
01:01:33.340 --> 01:01:36.219
did i had no idea you know what i mean like i
01:01:36.219 --> 01:01:38.679
just i just had no idea well certain aspects
01:01:38.679 --> 01:01:41.179
of your ego were expressing themselves but yeah
01:01:41.179 --> 01:01:45.059
there was more yeah absolutely yeah and it just
01:01:45.059 --> 01:01:49.150
it's since then i mean just the the drive to
01:01:49.150 --> 01:01:53.010
go back to what I was interested in as a child.
01:01:53.210 --> 01:01:55.869
I always, it just makes me so happy. And I'm
01:01:55.869 --> 01:01:58.070
like, so proud of myself when I, when I hear
01:01:58.070 --> 01:02:00.730
stories about like, when I was like a bad little
01:02:00.730 --> 01:02:02.849
kid or I did something out of line, I'm just
01:02:02.849 --> 01:02:05.829
like, I love myself so much. Like I would do
01:02:05.829 --> 01:02:10.389
the same thing now. And so in that case, so I
01:02:10.389 --> 01:02:12.150
don't know, like, like I started making beaded
01:02:12.150 --> 01:02:13.969
bracelets, right? Like, so I'm a 46 year old
01:02:13.969 --> 01:02:16.929
grown man that now, like I have like a little
01:02:16.929 --> 01:02:19.440
beading kit. And, like, I make, because I hand
01:02:19.440 --> 01:02:21.079
these out. So, I always try to wear two to four
01:02:21.079 --> 01:02:22.880
bracelets when I go out. And I give them away
01:02:22.880 --> 01:02:24.380
to strangers. Because they only cost a few bucks
01:02:24.380 --> 01:02:26.280
to make. And it's just a nice, easy, like, I
01:02:26.280 --> 01:02:28.219
see you, I hear you, you know, a namaste kind
01:02:28.219 --> 01:02:31.219
of moment that you can have. But I lean into
01:02:31.219 --> 01:02:33.019
it. Where, like, the other day, you know, and
01:02:33.019 --> 01:02:35.639
I'm laughing because, you know, I'm single. I'm
01:02:35.639 --> 01:02:37.280
in the dating scene. You know, I'm putting myself
01:02:37.280 --> 01:02:40.260
out there. And my next round of beads came in.
01:02:40.300 --> 01:02:42.599
And it came with this cool little, like, beading
01:02:42.599 --> 01:02:46.260
zip pouch. So I'm excited. I'm like what the
01:02:46.260 --> 01:02:48.920
fuck ass grown -ass man is excited to get a bunch
01:02:48.920 --> 01:02:51.400
of beads Julie making stuff And now I got this
01:02:51.400 --> 01:02:53.380
little zip thing so I'm either like this corny
01:02:53.380 --> 01:02:55.920
like 70 year old lady all this like 12 year old
01:02:55.920 --> 01:02:57.980
little girl Who's like all excited, but it's
01:02:57.980 --> 01:03:00.239
like you know I'm laughing and I'm getting busted
01:03:00.239 --> 01:03:02.000
my balls being all man. I'm gonna be single forever
01:03:02.000 --> 01:03:06.139
like I'm excited that I got a Zipped bag to keep
01:03:06.139 --> 01:03:08.500
my freaking beating stuff, but it's like no lean
01:03:08.500 --> 01:03:11.969
into it because these beads alone have opened
01:03:11.969 --> 01:03:14.309
up so many doors have gotten me dates with women
01:03:14.309 --> 01:03:16.130
have gotten me business propositions with men
01:03:16.130 --> 01:03:18.469
have gotten me money like i've literally sold
01:03:18.469 --> 01:03:20.550
books because of it and it's like yeah and not
01:03:20.550 --> 01:03:22.610
that you need validation or justification on
01:03:22.610 --> 01:03:25.250
any of those fronts no i like it and i yeah like
01:03:25.250 --> 01:03:27.389
i actually i've got three different rounds of
01:03:27.389 --> 01:03:29.869
beads in my shopping cart right now and if you
01:03:29.869 --> 01:03:33.019
and i ever cross paths in person you will be
01:03:33.019 --> 01:03:34.980
getting you know a beaded bracelet and it's like
01:03:34.980 --> 01:03:37.360
thank you because that is such a beautiful way
01:03:37.360 --> 01:03:41.260
to put your love into something even like psychometry
01:03:41.260 --> 01:03:44.199
like when people pick that up or hold or wear
01:03:44.199 --> 01:03:47.199
it and i wear it they're receiving they're receiving
01:03:47.199 --> 01:03:49.500
your energy that you put into that that's beautiful
01:03:49.500 --> 01:03:53.110
and each one Like, you know, so I have one that
01:03:53.110 --> 01:03:55.289
I make with lava rocks. So it's carbon. So it's
01:03:55.289 --> 01:03:57.369
absorbing shit. You know, I make one with like
01:03:57.369 --> 01:03:59.769
a matte howlite. So it's this beautiful white,
01:03:59.809 --> 01:04:02.829
you know, stone that's, you know, just refreshing
01:04:02.829 --> 01:04:04.550
and cleansing. And it's like, you know, so it's
01:04:04.550 --> 01:04:06.269
not just, well, I'm picking them out because
01:04:06.269 --> 01:04:07.909
they got pretty colors. It's like there's actually
01:04:07.909 --> 01:04:09.710
meaning. And then to your point, I wear them.
01:04:09.769 --> 01:04:11.570
And then I don't just give out new bracelets.
01:04:11.590 --> 01:04:14.550
So I'm imparting my energy. I'm praying. into
01:04:14.550 --> 01:04:17.090
them and and again believe it or not woo or not
01:04:17.090 --> 01:04:20.070
i know when ivories received gifts that were
01:04:20.070 --> 01:04:23.449
energetically charged or blessed or sacred there's
01:04:23.449 --> 01:04:25.449
a power to them and that's not oh yeah you know
01:04:25.449 --> 01:04:27.929
idolatry or while i'm putting myself in a false
01:04:27.929 --> 01:04:31.849
false god no that's me being hypersensitive and
01:04:31.849 --> 01:04:33.969
if i put meaning into it and that's the thing
01:04:33.969 --> 01:04:36.880
i'm I'm putting meaning into this, not because
01:04:36.880 --> 01:04:39.639
I read it or because Ram Dass or Alan Watts told
01:04:39.639 --> 01:04:41.500
me to. I'm doing it because Adam Butler told
01:04:41.500 --> 01:04:44.800
me to. And I only will do that to the point where
01:04:44.800 --> 01:04:46.139
if somebody says, oh, this is something that
01:04:46.139 --> 01:04:48.159
I find resonates, all right, but it doesn't with
01:04:48.159 --> 01:04:51.239
me, and that's good. You know, like, I like,
01:04:51.280 --> 01:04:53.039
and I've been a couple times, I've got Palo Santo
01:04:53.039 --> 01:04:55.989
hair and white sage. I really enjoy those sets.
01:04:56.170 --> 01:04:58.849
That's why I'm lighting them. It's not... I hotbox
01:04:58.849 --> 01:05:01.590
my car with them. Me too. Oh, that's fucking
01:05:01.590 --> 01:05:03.050
awesome. So that is my incense. I just wipe around
01:05:03.050 --> 01:05:06.190
Palo Santo. Yeah, I smoke weed all the time in
01:05:06.190 --> 01:05:09.650
my car. Yeah, me too. So when I get pulled over,
01:05:09.769 --> 01:05:11.590
it's going to be like, hey, listen, this is why
01:05:11.590 --> 01:05:15.269
it smells. Yes, yes. My son was driving my car
01:05:15.269 --> 01:05:19.469
one day, and he got pulled over. the cop was
01:05:19.469 --> 01:05:22.289
like do you burn incense in here and there was
01:05:22.289 --> 01:05:25.730
a piece of palo santo like in my ashtray my son
01:05:25.730 --> 01:05:28.449
was like yeah this is my mom's and yes she does
01:05:28.449 --> 01:05:33.670
so sorry my cat is like getting in my way all
01:05:33.670 --> 01:05:38.130
right taking over the microphone but the hard
01:05:38.130 --> 01:05:40.309
thing is and kind of you know circling back to
01:05:40.309 --> 01:05:42.570
where we started is is to really be able to lean
01:05:42.570 --> 01:05:46.219
into you know your authenticity and you know
01:05:46.219 --> 01:05:47.900
we mentioned seeing the world through god's eyes
01:05:47.900 --> 01:05:50.300
and again that's not an egoic selfish way of
01:05:50.300 --> 01:05:52.659
looking at it it's really an expansive way and
01:05:52.659 --> 01:05:55.579
it opens up your life to so many things but yeah
01:05:55.579 --> 01:05:58.659
to give yourself that's again that the time the
01:05:58.659 --> 01:06:02.360
space and in the you know the permission to really
01:06:02.360 --> 01:06:05.429
just to go within that that is such a beautiful
01:06:05.429 --> 01:06:07.809
exploration and it doesn't matter what age what
01:06:07.809 --> 01:06:09.849
position whatever it's like that that's what
01:06:09.849 --> 01:06:12.769
will allow you to be a good husband mom dad spouse
01:06:12.769 --> 01:06:15.969
employee employer all of the coach mentor and
01:06:15.969 --> 01:06:18.349
but without that you're going to run yourself
01:06:18.349 --> 01:06:22.449
ragged um absolutely and it does come from us
01:06:22.449 --> 01:06:25.650
like you said earlier no other chemical compounds
01:06:25.650 --> 01:06:29.150
are required it is in within all of us naturally
01:06:29.150 --> 01:06:34.579
to have these elated realizations And I think
01:06:34.579 --> 01:06:37.119
like my spontaneous Kundalini awakening is kind
01:06:37.119 --> 01:06:41.719
of a proof of that for me, at least. But like
01:06:41.719 --> 01:06:44.380
you said, you can't say, oh, this is what it
01:06:44.380 --> 01:06:46.980
is because that person said so. You really have
01:06:46.980 --> 01:06:50.980
to have your own experiences and highly encourage
01:06:50.980 --> 01:06:55.039
that for people. But I did want to mention. I'm
01:06:55.039 --> 01:06:58.039
also a big advocate for microdosing psilocybin
01:06:58.039 --> 01:07:01.280
and all of the plant medicines that we're talking
01:07:01.280 --> 01:07:03.699
about and different ways to utilize them. It's
01:07:03.699 --> 01:07:06.579
really just a tool, but it's a very helpful tool.
01:07:06.980 --> 01:07:11.360
It cuts right through a lot of density very quickly
01:07:11.360 --> 01:07:13.659
and allows you to like get into your inner child
01:07:13.659 --> 01:07:17.000
and just like, if I microdose, I just want to
01:07:17.000 --> 01:07:19.659
play. I'm like, I just want to bake. I want to...
01:07:20.079 --> 01:07:22.440
Play with your cat. Yeah, play with my cat, do
01:07:22.440 --> 01:07:25.039
like art, paint. Clean the house even. You're
01:07:25.039 --> 01:07:26.500
like, really? You want, yes, because it becomes
01:07:26.500 --> 01:07:31.480
fun. Helpful, hopefully, to you, but then again,
01:07:31.599 --> 01:07:33.320
listeners, because we're all coming from a different
01:07:33.320 --> 01:07:35.380
perspective. So you're saying that, well, you're
01:07:35.380 --> 01:07:37.320
saying, when you shared your story, you were
01:07:37.320 --> 01:07:39.579
saying that you had all these amazing connections,
01:07:40.039 --> 01:07:42.900
openings, awakenings, releasings of blockages
01:07:42.900 --> 01:07:47.199
with no psychedelic experience, and you know
01:07:47.199 --> 01:07:49.940
that the power is within. And now it's how can
01:07:49.940 --> 01:07:52.099
you use these psychedelics as tools to add on
01:07:52.099 --> 01:07:55.679
to it and explore. But to give you more data
01:07:55.679 --> 01:07:58.019
and to know that I think you're on the right
01:07:58.019 --> 01:08:01.019
track is I know now several men and women that
01:08:01.019 --> 01:08:03.340
maybe are a little bit older, maybe 50s, 60s,
01:08:03.539 --> 01:08:06.300
70s, that have done psychedelics for 15, 20 years.
01:08:06.380 --> 01:08:09.519
Their resume is very, very deep. They know exactly
01:08:09.519 --> 01:08:11.639
what it feels like to be blissed out on all of
01:08:11.639 --> 01:08:15.880
these things. They very matter -of -factly say,
01:08:15.940 --> 01:08:17.880
I don't need it anymore. I get high on my own
01:08:17.880 --> 01:08:20.819
supply. I do yoga. I do Tai Chi. I do breath
01:08:20.819 --> 01:08:24.220
work. And I do whatever, pool exercise at the
01:08:24.220 --> 01:08:28.119
YMCA twice a week. And I'm good. So that ties
01:08:28.119 --> 01:08:30.460
into what you're saying. And it just gives, and
01:08:30.460 --> 01:08:31.859
again, not that you need proof of validation
01:08:31.859 --> 01:08:34.500
from outside people, but it reinforces both what
01:08:34.500 --> 01:08:36.899
we're saying is that that power does come from
01:08:36.899 --> 01:08:39.000
within. And even the people, you know, so my,
01:08:39.140 --> 01:08:41.420
and it's not my goal. I don't have a goal. I'm
01:08:41.420 --> 01:08:45.109
surrendered. But it's not. Like, well, you have
01:08:45.109 --> 01:08:47.789
to keep doing psychedelics, and without psychedelics,
01:08:47.789 --> 01:08:49.430
you have to be there. It's like, and I'm not
01:08:49.430 --> 01:08:51.430
necessarily religious, but you don't have to,
01:08:51.449 --> 01:08:53.970
once you have a belief in God or Christ or whatever,
01:08:54.109 --> 01:08:55.770
you don't need to go to church every week to
01:08:55.770 --> 01:08:58.250
then, like, once you see God, know God, and he
01:08:58.250 --> 01:09:00.409
talks to you or she, and you're having that connection,
01:09:00.689 --> 01:09:03.369
it's not going to go away. Now, reinforcing it
01:09:03.369 --> 01:09:05.430
every so often is good, and that's what I'm doing
01:09:05.430 --> 01:09:07.590
when I'm going into these psychedelics, and I
01:09:07.590 --> 01:09:09.130
go in with purpose, with meaning, with intention.
01:09:10.640 --> 01:09:13.460
The fact that everybody's saying the same thing
01:09:13.460 --> 01:09:16.199
to me gives really just credence to, even the
01:09:16.199 --> 01:09:18.739
past psychonauts are like, oh yeah, you don't
01:09:18.739 --> 01:09:21.680
need LSD or shrooms, they're great, but so is
01:09:21.680 --> 01:09:23.520
a cold plunger walking the woods in a three -day
01:09:23.520 --> 01:09:25.720
fast, and holy shit. Absolutely. There you go.
01:09:25.720 --> 01:09:29.439
Yes, absolutely. And microdosing shrooms, not
01:09:29.439 --> 01:09:32.180
that I'm condoning psychedelics, I'm not pushing
01:09:32.180 --> 01:09:35.739
it. For some people it does work. I can say my
01:09:35.739 --> 01:09:38.500
personal experience from the practitioners and
01:09:38.500 --> 01:09:40.539
trainers that I've worked with and now I'm kind
01:09:40.539 --> 01:09:44.380
of walking alongside with, that seems to be a
01:09:44.380 --> 01:09:46.600
very common, and I would mirror it. If people
01:09:46.600 --> 01:09:48.779
are interested in dipping their toes into psychedelics,
01:09:48.899 --> 01:09:51.520
shrooms are very easy. They're accessible. You
01:09:51.520 --> 01:09:54.079
can microdose them. I recommend grinding them
01:09:54.079 --> 01:09:56.140
up and putting them in tea so you're not ingesting
01:09:56.140 --> 01:09:58.380
them and worrying about how your stomach is purging.
01:09:58.640 --> 01:10:00.560
You don't lose really any strength by making
01:10:00.560 --> 01:10:02.699
tea. And I just had this conversation with a
01:10:02.699 --> 01:10:06.500
woman the other day. A 28 -year -old nurse knows
01:10:06.500 --> 01:10:08.619
that there's something else in her life, and
01:10:08.619 --> 01:10:10.180
it's more than just going through the rat race
01:10:10.180 --> 01:10:12.039
of insurance claims and all that horse shit,
01:10:12.140 --> 01:10:15.180
is looking for honest advice, and my advice was...
01:10:15.560 --> 01:10:17.479
Let's start with, you know, I'll make her some
01:10:17.479 --> 01:10:19.539
rounds of tea. We'll start with a gram, which
01:10:19.539 --> 01:10:21.520
is actually, you know, a pretty big micro dose,
01:10:21.539 --> 01:10:24.000
maybe a mezzo dose for some people. But she's
01:10:24.000 --> 01:10:25.539
looking for, you know, an experience. So I said,
01:10:25.579 --> 01:10:28.140
we'll start with gram tea, then we'll move up
01:10:28.140 --> 01:10:30.239
to two grams, and then we'll move up to the full
01:10:30.239 --> 01:10:32.079
dose of three and a half. And I said, if your
01:10:32.079 --> 01:10:34.880
body responds to that, if you can take, you know,
01:10:34.899 --> 01:10:37.420
those three or four or five or six teas and be
01:10:37.420 --> 01:10:39.920
comfortable and then still have curiosity to
01:10:39.920 --> 01:10:42.579
explore. well then maybe yes let's up the dose
01:10:42.579 --> 01:10:44.199
of the shrooms and have a full experience but
01:10:44.199 --> 01:10:46.939
then we can start adding in dmt you know like
01:10:46.939 --> 01:10:50.090
the the molecule that i talk about The beautiful
01:10:50.090 --> 01:10:52.170
thing, when you smoke it, it only lasts about
01:10:52.170 --> 01:10:55.149
seven or eight minutes. So you can have a full
01:10:55.149 --> 01:10:57.270
-blown psychedelic experience before breakfast
01:10:57.270 --> 01:11:00.329
and then go back and cook breakfast. I use it
01:11:00.329 --> 01:11:02.949
before the gym. I use it in sexual intimate ceremonies.
01:11:03.170 --> 01:11:06.630
I use it in writing. I use it in art. I use it
01:11:06.630 --> 01:11:08.510
when I'm out in the woods and exploring because
01:11:08.510 --> 01:11:12.180
it has such a short duration. But you have to
01:11:12.180 --> 01:11:13.960
be able to get comfortable in that sensation
01:11:13.960 --> 01:11:16.119
of, oh, fuck, what is this vibratory hum coming
01:11:16.119 --> 01:11:18.739
on? Why are all of my senses either tweaking
01:11:18.739 --> 01:11:21.859
or changing or being added on? And then surrendering
01:11:21.859 --> 01:11:24.140
and not panicking. You have to kind of like,
01:11:24.239 --> 01:11:28.020
and this is something that I learned recently
01:11:28.020 --> 01:11:32.539
about past life regressions. But release, surrender,
01:11:32.720 --> 01:11:35.539
and then go with it. and but that releasing has
01:11:35.539 --> 01:11:37.659
to happen because if you fight it if you if you're
01:11:37.659 --> 01:11:39.199
on five grams of shrooms and you're like white
01:11:39.199 --> 01:11:42.640
knuckling it being like i'm not doing it like
01:11:42.640 --> 01:11:44.399
then you're gonna have a fucking horrible ride
01:11:44.399 --> 01:11:47.439
and it will happen no matter what or you cannot
01:11:47.439 --> 01:11:49.680
go against the tide or the river and really kind
01:11:49.680 --> 01:11:53.319
of ride it out but similar to i just did my past
01:11:53.319 --> 01:11:55.319
first life regression three weeks ago now i've
01:11:55.319 --> 01:11:57.479
done hundreds of psychedelics i do all sorts
01:11:57.479 --> 01:11:59.939
of dangerous shit i live out in the woods in
01:11:59.939 --> 01:12:02.420
the mountains i i go in a lot of places from
01:12:02.699 --> 01:12:05.079
Train tracks to inner cities to fucking, like,
01:12:05.199 --> 01:12:07.279
climb a tree on the top of a mountain. Like,
01:12:07.279 --> 01:12:10.119
places I should not go. Not to say I don't care.
01:12:10.220 --> 01:12:13.659
I'm just not fearful of my physical state, really.
01:12:14.260 --> 01:12:16.899
I was really apprehensive about letting a woman
01:12:16.899 --> 01:12:19.539
do this past life regression on me. Now, I've
01:12:19.539 --> 01:12:21.460
been friends with, so I actually just co -authored
01:12:21.460 --> 01:12:24.020
a book titled Dark Night of the Soul with these
01:12:24.020 --> 01:12:26.960
two women. And both of them have aspects of hypnotherapy.
01:12:27.300 --> 01:12:29.199
Some kind of, like, Dolores Cannon techniques
01:12:29.199 --> 01:12:33.319
that I worked into it. I was really apprehensive.
01:12:33.479 --> 01:12:35.380
I was like, I'm not letting you into my psyche.
01:12:35.539 --> 01:12:38.079
I'm not. All this shit, it sounds cool for somebody
01:12:38.079 --> 01:12:40.920
else, but you're going to let me into. I was
01:12:40.920 --> 01:12:44.119
really, really apprehensive until I got to know
01:12:44.119 --> 01:12:46.220
this woman and I said, I trust you. I know that
01:12:46.220 --> 01:12:48.579
there's nothing nefarious. I feel honored and
01:12:48.579 --> 01:12:51.840
safe. And I gave then her permission and I gave
01:12:51.840 --> 01:12:55.100
myself permission to go in. And it was awesome.
01:12:55.359 --> 01:12:57.920
It was so cool and I felt so loved and embraced.
01:12:58.220 --> 01:13:00.800
And what I'm trying to do with all these side
01:13:00.800 --> 01:13:03.810
modalities, So psychedelics are my thing. I love
01:13:03.810 --> 01:13:05.630
psychedelics. I explore them all. I explore them
01:13:05.630 --> 01:13:08.170
all heavily. And my body is a really great vessel
01:13:08.170 --> 01:13:10.649
for them. But I'm always trying to add on something
01:13:10.649 --> 01:13:14.470
else. And this modality of hypnotherapy and past
01:13:14.470 --> 01:13:17.829
life regressions, the parallel for me was, and
01:13:17.829 --> 01:13:19.949
maybe you can add on it if it's similar to you,
01:13:19.989 --> 01:13:22.750
was all of these states that I get into, I'm
01:13:22.750 --> 01:13:25.430
looking for a frequency or a vibration and it
01:13:25.430 --> 01:13:28.050
and it's always is either a sound or a buzz like
01:13:28.050 --> 01:13:31.289
with nndmt it starts off like an electric hum
01:13:31.289 --> 01:13:33.430
that's a buzz that goes into a high pitch like
01:13:33.430 --> 01:13:36.890
and then i'm you're up in this fucking place
01:13:36.890 --> 01:13:38.750
where you're like whatever you know shrooms can
01:13:38.750 --> 01:13:41.449
be a more like whatever sometimes you're in just
01:13:41.449 --> 01:13:43.430
like a good pace where you're flowing like this
01:13:43.430 --> 01:13:46.569
i just did a float tank the other day where again
01:13:46.569 --> 01:13:48.909
maybe i'm talking out of my ass but i felt as
01:13:48.909 --> 01:13:50.210
though i was tapped into the shuman resonance
01:13:50.210 --> 01:13:56.640
like it was this just like don't And it was not
01:13:56.640 --> 01:13:58.800
my breathing. It was not my heart. I was really
01:13:58.800 --> 01:14:02.800
just, I was there. That's what makes me wonder,
01:14:02.859 --> 01:14:04.800
like I was saying before, when I would pass out
01:14:04.800 --> 01:14:07.319
and I wonder where I was going because I would
01:14:07.319 --> 01:14:10.880
hear this high -pitched sound. Like my ears ring,
01:14:11.020 --> 01:14:12.239
your vision goes dark. You're getting abducted
01:14:12.239 --> 01:14:17.140
by aliens, Christine. I do think so. I do think
01:14:17.140 --> 01:14:20.340
so, too. I think so, yeah. But not my body, just
01:14:20.340 --> 01:14:23.439
my consciousness. And you can see how, if we
01:14:23.439 --> 01:14:26.420
explain how everything is frequency, how everything
01:14:26.420 --> 01:14:28.199
is vibration. And again, you don't have to go
01:14:28.199 --> 01:14:31.659
too far. Just with how humans have added machines.
01:14:31.800 --> 01:14:34.239
So again, x -rays, gamma ray detectors, all of
01:14:34.239 --> 01:14:37.800
those. So we, as humans, can see beyond our senses.
01:14:38.000 --> 01:14:40.760
But then just look in the animal kingdom. And
01:14:40.760 --> 01:14:43.739
not even animal kingdom beyond mammals. Look
01:14:43.739 --> 01:14:48.159
within just the mammals. So dogs can smell so
01:14:48.159 --> 01:14:50.720
much better than we can. Cats have so much better
01:14:50.720 --> 01:14:53.500
eyesight and reflexes. Bats can navigate with
01:14:53.500 --> 01:14:56.560
echolocation. Whales can communicate miles and
01:14:56.560 --> 01:14:58.979
miles underwater by picking up sound vibrations.
01:14:59.420 --> 01:15:03.479
And elephants, yeah. And again, I studied insects.
01:15:03.520 --> 01:15:06.579
So insects communicate pheromonally through chemical
01:15:06.579 --> 01:15:11.500
transmission. miles and miles and miles and it
01:15:11.500 --> 01:15:13.720
can be like you know two or three particles per
01:15:13.720 --> 01:15:16.880
million miles away and that male moth will pick
01:15:16.880 --> 01:15:18.579
up and be like oh yeah that moth that female
01:15:18.579 --> 01:15:20.500
was horny on that pine tree over there i'm coming
01:15:20.500 --> 01:15:24.260
from fucking connecticut like how is that and
01:15:24.260 --> 01:15:25.899
it's not even well i have to understand how it's
01:15:25.899 --> 01:15:29.359
it is possible and it's documented so You don't
01:15:29.359 --> 01:15:31.100
have to be like, well, really, the human body
01:15:31.100 --> 01:15:33.859
can be expanded that far? Yes. Sentient beings
01:15:33.859 --> 01:15:36.140
on this planet Earth have figured out a lot of
01:15:36.140 --> 01:15:39.399
ways to take in vibratory information. And I
01:15:39.399 --> 01:15:42.420
look at our human vessel and body as just a really
01:15:42.420 --> 01:15:45.680
fancy transceiver, radio transformer, however
01:15:45.680 --> 01:15:48.300
you want to word it. And we can add on different
01:15:48.300 --> 01:15:50.399
frequencies, different levels. We can be AM.
01:15:50.579 --> 01:15:52.840
We can be FM. Let's add satellite radio. Let's
01:15:52.840 --> 01:15:55.020
add cassette. Let's add CD. Let's add. And you
01:15:55.020 --> 01:15:59.359
can keep adding, adding, adding. And now at three
01:15:59.359 --> 01:16:02.239
or four years exploring this, I've added 10 to
01:16:02.239 --> 01:16:04.439
12 different modalities. But I guess back to
01:16:04.439 --> 01:16:07.359
the past life regression, how I was able to know
01:16:07.359 --> 01:16:09.720
that this is something different was I started
01:16:09.720 --> 01:16:12.020
getting into a buzz and a hum. And it wasn't
01:16:12.020 --> 01:16:13.720
breathing. It was like, all right, well, what
01:16:13.720 --> 01:16:15.220
the fuck is this? And it's like, all right, I
01:16:15.220 --> 01:16:18.579
guess this is channel past life regression. That
01:16:18.579 --> 01:16:20.460
was channel Monroe Institute. That was channel
01:16:20.460 --> 01:16:22.579
darkness retreat. This is channel NNDMT. This
01:16:22.579 --> 01:16:26.529
is channel 5MAO DMT. I recently did Bufo. so
01:16:26.529 --> 01:16:28.869
it has five ameo but then all the toad venoms
01:16:28.869 --> 01:16:31.829
like each one has its own energetic imprint but
01:16:31.829 --> 01:16:33.670
when i was in that past life regressive state
01:16:33.670 --> 01:16:37.630
um so i was there i was present but it was like
01:16:37.630 --> 01:16:39.710
i was on the sideline so i didn't feel like i
01:16:39.710 --> 01:16:42.390
knew if she you know like i was if a fire alarm
01:16:42.390 --> 01:16:44.390
rang i i could get out of it and run out so it
01:16:44.390 --> 01:16:46.689
wasn't like i was incapacitated and she was controlling
01:16:46.689 --> 01:16:50.430
me like a puppet it's just i'm so expressive
01:16:50.430 --> 01:16:52.270
with my thoughts i'm so comfortable with all
01:16:52.270 --> 01:16:54.970
the little voices in my head i'm as you can see
01:16:54.970 --> 01:16:57.909
how fast i talk right um my mind's always going
01:16:57.909 --> 01:17:00.409
a million miles a minute well once we got into
01:17:00.409 --> 01:17:02.989
this beautiful state i was in this hypnotic state
01:17:02.989 --> 01:17:05.869
now my whole body's at this fucking this level
01:17:05.869 --> 01:17:09.069
that was just going something different and then
01:17:09.069 --> 01:17:11.430
she would ask a question and all those little
01:17:11.430 --> 01:17:13.710
chattery voices and say i've got nine and i i
01:17:13.710 --> 01:17:15.470
call them like fraggle rock characters because
01:17:15.470 --> 01:17:17.270
that's how they present themselves so i've got
01:17:17.270 --> 01:17:19.010
all my fraggle rock guys right and we're all
01:17:19.010 --> 01:17:21.029
sitting there and we're all you know we're all
01:17:21.029 --> 01:17:23.229
popping off our answers but then when i was in
01:17:23.229 --> 01:17:25.310
that past life regressive state she would ask
01:17:25.310 --> 01:17:28.310
a question and it would come from Over there,
01:17:28.409 --> 01:17:30.970
not from our Fraggle Rock shit, and it wasn't
01:17:30.970 --> 01:17:33.130
my brain putting together a synaptic connection
01:17:33.130 --> 01:17:35.909
to be like, oh yes, at six years old, I was in
01:17:35.909 --> 01:17:40.510
Maine, and yeah, my soul got stubbed. It was...
01:17:42.060 --> 01:17:43.460
I'm getting goosebumps thinking about it because
01:17:43.460 --> 01:17:45.319
I don't know where the fuck it came from. But
01:17:45.319 --> 01:17:46.819
I don't need to know necessarily where it came
01:17:46.819 --> 01:17:49.140
from. I just know for three and a half, four
01:17:49.140 --> 01:17:51.680
years, I've experienced or I've explored alternate
01:17:51.680 --> 01:17:53.699
elevated states of consciousness probably more
01:17:53.699 --> 01:17:56.880
than most. I've explored my somatic connection
01:17:56.880 --> 01:18:00.000
to my body more than most. I am very, very well
01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:02.699
attuned to everything around me and all the craziest
01:18:02.699 --> 01:18:04.920
modalities. I don't have any other job literally
01:18:04.920 --> 01:18:06.859
other than exploring this. This is what I do
01:18:06.859 --> 01:18:09.340
every day, all day. And I have for three and
01:18:09.340 --> 01:18:12.779
a half years. I'm really fucking good at where
01:18:12.779 --> 01:18:15.260
the hell is this weird shit coming from? I've
01:18:15.260 --> 01:18:17.899
done one past life regression. I'm interested
01:18:17.899 --> 01:18:20.399
in doing more. I don't know who is answering
01:18:20.399 --> 01:18:21.899
that shit. And I have a recording of it, which
01:18:21.899 --> 01:18:23.819
is even fucking weirder, where it's just like,
01:18:23.899 --> 01:18:26.520
who is answering this shit? Now, it's my voice,
01:18:26.619 --> 01:18:28.279
but even that, it was at a different cadence.
01:18:28.359 --> 01:18:30.520
It was at a different pace. It didn't quite have
01:18:30.520 --> 01:18:32.920
the New England kind of like jive to it. It's
01:18:32.920 --> 01:18:37.600
like your higher self. Yeah. But even... Yes,
01:18:37.600 --> 01:18:39.899
but I feel like I've already separated my higher
01:18:39.899 --> 01:18:42.020
self and my bigger self. This was even something.
01:18:42.220 --> 01:18:45.239
It was your deeper self. Because when I say higher
01:18:45.239 --> 01:18:47.920
self, I still have an Adam Butler subjective
01:18:47.920 --> 01:18:50.659
personality associated with it. This was not
01:18:50.659 --> 01:18:53.479
Adam Butler. Maybe that's the past life regression.
01:18:53.720 --> 01:18:56.439
So this was my, and I guess maybe that is higher
01:18:56.439 --> 01:18:59.180
self, but it was way, it wasn't just some egoic
01:18:59.180 --> 01:19:01.739
aspect of like, well, Adam, this wasn't Adam
01:19:01.739 --> 01:19:04.260
Butler being reincarnated. This wasn't me doing,
01:19:04.380 --> 01:19:07.409
this was like, oh fuck this that you were like
01:19:07.409 --> 01:19:09.069
you said you were a priestess you were that when
01:19:09.069 --> 01:19:12.289
people say oh i was the whatever the musician
01:19:12.289 --> 01:19:14.649
on the street or i was the the cobbled guy right
01:19:14.649 --> 01:19:17.909
it's like well how do you know that well because
01:19:17.909 --> 01:19:20.529
i somehow know how to put leather soles on a
01:19:20.529 --> 01:19:22.449
shoe and i and i know how to use that hammer
01:19:22.449 --> 01:19:24.029
in a specific way and i've never done it but
01:19:24.029 --> 01:19:26.750
i keep well in my particular experience and this
01:19:26.750 --> 01:19:32.920
is again weird so I'm a wordsmith. I write. I
01:19:32.920 --> 01:19:34.760
write all the time. I try to articulate everything.
01:19:36.619 --> 01:19:39.180
I also lucid dream. I love lucid dream states.
01:19:39.260 --> 01:19:41.899
And I go really, really deep. Well, a few years
01:19:41.899 --> 01:19:47.420
ago, the sound in word and drawing and lettering
01:19:47.420 --> 01:19:51.279
of... There's a city in Italy called Padua. But
01:19:51.279 --> 01:19:54.159
my buddy said it beautifully. Padua. With the
01:19:54.159 --> 01:19:59.760
Italian accent. P -A -D -U -A. Padua. it just
01:19:59.760 --> 01:20:01.800
kept coming up and up and up in this lucid dream
01:20:01.800 --> 01:20:04.020
state and it's like what the fuck like what what
01:20:04.020 --> 01:20:06.140
is and it wasn't just a sign or something it
01:20:06.140 --> 01:20:08.319
was glaring glaring glaring all right well then
01:20:08.319 --> 01:20:10.680
it came up a couple times in my dmt states it's
01:20:10.680 --> 01:20:14.239
like well what the fuck is this um my deepest
01:20:14.239 --> 01:20:17.260
of all psychedelic uh sessions and it happened
01:20:17.260 --> 01:20:19.319
on a retreat i was well protected i was well
01:20:19.319 --> 01:20:22.220
whatever but i did a full dose of lsd a full
01:20:22.220 --> 01:20:25.619
dose of mdma shrooms a pretty good dose and i
01:20:25.619 --> 01:20:31.600
was smoking fold out long expression and we crescendoed
01:20:31.600 --> 01:20:34.020
everything we laid everything it was amazing
01:20:34.020 --> 01:20:35.899
and the people that were holding space for me
01:20:35.899 --> 01:20:37.760
you know had a pen and paper as they all should
01:20:37.760 --> 01:20:40.560
to journal anything that i came up with that
01:20:40.560 --> 01:20:43.680
entire seven or eight hours i said two words
01:20:43.680 --> 01:20:48.880
one word and it was just padua you just the city
01:20:48.880 --> 01:20:53.000
in italy padua like again of all like seven hours
01:20:53.000 --> 01:20:54.939
of self -expression with all the that i've been
01:20:54.939 --> 01:20:57.350
through I keep coming up with a city that I've
01:20:57.350 --> 01:20:59.550
never been to, has no relevance at all. Why the
01:20:59.550 --> 01:21:02.449
fuck, of all the thoughts, that that's the one
01:21:02.449 --> 01:21:05.329
that says, Adam, tell them to record this. Well,
01:21:05.470 --> 01:21:07.550
then in my past life regression with this lady
01:21:07.550 --> 01:21:09.510
a few weeks ago, guess what fucking came up?
01:21:09.630 --> 01:21:11.409
Guess where we went? Guess where we went deep?
01:21:11.529 --> 01:21:14.050
And I actually got some insight for the first
01:21:14.050 --> 01:21:17.130
time ever on what that meant. And we were able,
01:21:17.189 --> 01:21:19.250
now again, was it, is it fluff? Is it just me
01:21:19.250 --> 01:21:21.479
making up shit? I don't know, but I left there
01:21:21.479 --> 01:21:23.399
with some answers that I never fucking had before.
01:21:23.640 --> 01:21:25.579
And then just on a tangent, there was a few more.
01:21:25.779 --> 01:21:29.619
I love Native American music. I love flute and
01:21:29.619 --> 01:21:32.439
drum ceremonial music. I get into a really beautiful
01:21:32.439 --> 01:21:35.859
trance -like state. And I love all genres of
01:21:35.859 --> 01:21:38.699
it. But specifically Lakota Indian music, when
01:21:38.699 --> 01:21:41.300
that comes on, every hair on my body stands up.
01:21:41.399 --> 01:21:45.760
I go into a... Why Lakota? Not Mohawk? Not like
01:21:45.760 --> 01:21:48.100
I'm from New England? Like Lakota's not a New
01:21:48.100 --> 01:21:51.739
England Native American clan? Like, what the
01:21:51.739 --> 01:21:54.520
fuck is it about Lakota specific that just gets
01:21:54.520 --> 01:21:57.460
me into a, well, we asked that. And I got some
01:21:57.460 --> 01:22:00.560
answers. Now, is it me bullshitting myself and
01:22:00.560 --> 01:22:02.579
this lady's a snake oil hustler just fucking
01:22:02.579 --> 01:22:04.420
swindling me being like, oh, watch this. We'll
01:22:04.420 --> 01:22:06.239
get this guy thinking he's a Lakota fucking whatever.
01:22:07.560 --> 01:22:10.479
I don't know. And it wasn't that. Actually, a
01:22:10.479 --> 01:22:12.619
beautiful Lakota Indian woman broke my heart
01:22:12.619 --> 01:22:16.039
or made love to me or was, I don't know. So I
01:22:16.039 --> 01:22:18.460
thought maybe it was a Lakota Indian chief or
01:22:18.460 --> 01:22:23.020
maybe I was some white general in the expansion
01:22:23.020 --> 01:22:26.380
west and I befriended the Lakota. I had all these
01:22:26.380 --> 01:22:30.260
egoic things about how maybe Lakota was involved.
01:22:30.420 --> 01:22:33.750
But no, it was a beautiful Lakota woman. fucking
01:22:33.750 --> 01:22:37.569
got to me i was just like really that's that's
01:22:37.569 --> 01:22:39.130
what i've been searching for years for was that
01:22:39.130 --> 01:22:41.630
i got my heart broke by a fucking a beautiful
01:22:41.630 --> 01:22:44.029
native american powerhouse woman but you can
01:22:44.029 --> 01:22:47.550
see like i guess that that now is that really
01:22:47.550 --> 01:22:49.810
what happened is it all fluff i don't know but
01:22:49.810 --> 01:22:52.229
now i know when i listen to lakota indian music
01:22:52.229 --> 01:22:53.970
it actually has this beautiful thing well maybe
01:22:53.970 --> 01:22:56.210
that was her music maybe that's what she taught
01:22:56.210 --> 01:23:03.489
maybe that flute was the song she played Now,
01:23:03.510 --> 01:23:05.970
it just makes my Sunday afternoon or Tuesday
01:23:05.970 --> 01:23:08.170
afternoon or Thursday night that much better
01:23:08.170 --> 01:23:10.069
when I'm cleaning my room to put on that Lakota
01:23:10.069 --> 01:23:12.329
thing. And maybe now I'm thinking this beautiful,
01:23:12.470 --> 01:23:16.010
long, dark -haired woman. And I have a perspective
01:23:16.010 --> 01:23:18.909
now. Instead of this, what the fuck is Lakota?
01:23:18.970 --> 01:23:21.289
What the fuck is Lakota? I'm thinking beautiful
01:23:21.289 --> 01:23:23.109
Native American woman now. Now, even just that
01:23:23.109 --> 01:23:24.810
perspective, what a great thing has unfolded
01:23:24.810 --> 01:23:28.029
in my socks to be confused as opposed to I'm
01:23:28.029 --> 01:23:30.909
thinking about a beautiful culture. It's just...
01:23:31.600 --> 01:23:33.479
that's the perspective that can happen when you
01:23:33.479 --> 01:23:36.300
see the world through god's eyes when you lean
01:23:36.300 --> 01:23:38.420
into your own true authentic self and you give
01:23:38.420 --> 01:23:40.939
your permission permission excuse me to do that
01:23:40.939 --> 01:23:44.020
yeah and i think like i was mentioning before
01:23:44.020 --> 01:23:46.159
the inner child stuff the things that you were
01:23:46.159 --> 01:23:48.979
really drawn to as a kid the things that you
01:23:48.979 --> 01:23:51.619
found fascinating like definitely have connections
01:23:51.619 --> 01:23:55.399
with past life stuff i've seen i've i mean when
01:23:55.399 --> 01:24:00.100
i was a kid i used to get herbs and things out
01:24:00.100 --> 01:24:03.100
of the garden and try to smoke them yeah me too
01:24:03.100 --> 01:24:06.659
what me and you must have been like friends growing
01:24:06.659 --> 01:24:09.159
up like we were probably like fucking like rug
01:24:09.159 --> 01:24:13.920
rats together so yeah it's it's wild the things
01:24:13.920 --> 01:24:16.899
that i used to do and i look back oh yeah i in
01:24:16.899 --> 01:24:20.939
kindergarten i went to a catholic um school just
01:24:20.939 --> 01:24:25.720
for kindergarten and um there was really no playground
01:24:25.720 --> 01:24:29.579
equipment what i did for many many months of
01:24:29.579 --> 01:24:33.159
the school year for for recess was try to unearth
01:24:33.159 --> 01:24:36.340
a very large rock i was just digging underneath
01:24:36.340 --> 01:24:40.060
this rock with a stick um yeah but i mean how
01:24:40.060 --> 01:24:43.159
old are you like like like right now no no no
01:24:43.159 --> 01:24:45.739
when you were doing i was like five So I'm just
01:24:45.739 --> 01:24:47.779
picturing this little kid and you're like, because
01:24:47.779 --> 01:24:49.180
I always like to picture people with their thought
01:24:49.180 --> 01:24:50.699
bubbles and like what they're thinking, like
01:24:50.699 --> 01:24:52.420
just as a fun game as I walk through the world.
01:24:52.460 --> 01:24:54.640
And so you just imagine this little cutie fucking
01:24:54.640 --> 01:24:55.960
being like, I'm going to get this motherfucker.
01:24:56.680 --> 01:24:59.960
Yeah, that's exactly. That's exactly. I'm going
01:24:59.960 --> 01:25:04.079
to get this out. I'm going to sell it. This has
01:25:04.079 --> 01:25:08.020
to be a fossil. This is a meteor. Yeah, everything
01:25:08.020 --> 01:25:11.100
was special and magical, right? As I'm picturing
01:25:11.100 --> 01:25:14.119
this beautiful little child doing that. So the
01:25:14.119 --> 01:25:16.500
first thing under your name and title of my writings
01:25:16.500 --> 01:25:19.279
for this podcast was because you went on one
01:25:19.279 --> 01:25:22.199
of your kind of rants before you brought your
01:25:22.199 --> 01:25:25.439
guest on. You were saying that motivation, the
01:25:25.439 --> 01:25:27.460
motivation that comes from progress and that
01:25:27.460 --> 01:25:29.680
you're motivated to take action because it's
01:25:29.680 --> 01:25:32.140
kind of like self -propelling. And that really
01:25:32.140 --> 01:25:34.060
just whether it be cleaning and vacuuming and
01:25:34.060 --> 01:25:36.340
seeing the progress happening or some of these
01:25:36.340 --> 01:25:38.399
really big steps that we're taking in our life.
01:25:40.359 --> 01:25:43.720
It really is self -perpetuating. It sounds like
01:25:43.720 --> 01:25:46.140
this must be tough to be selfless and loving
01:25:46.140 --> 01:25:49.159
and kumbaya, or it must be really tough to take
01:25:49.159 --> 01:25:51.100
time for yourself. And you tell me you can find
01:25:51.100 --> 01:25:53.840
an hour or three or five hours a week to do yoga
01:25:53.840 --> 01:25:56.600
or read a book? Yes, because there's nothing
01:25:56.600 --> 01:25:58.560
that would ever be more important than that.
01:25:58.680 --> 01:26:00.159
What's more important than your mental, physical
01:26:00.159 --> 01:26:01.760
health? What's more important than your connection
01:26:01.760 --> 01:26:05.520
to God? If you're blessed to be in a relationship,
01:26:06.380 --> 01:26:08.439
what's better than to take a walk with your partner
01:26:08.439 --> 01:26:10.260
in the woods? If you're blessed to have healthy
01:26:10.260 --> 01:26:12.859
children, fucking make art with them. Look in
01:26:12.859 --> 01:26:15.060
their eyes. Enjoy their giggle. That's not going
01:26:15.060 --> 01:26:17.100
to be there. If you've got elderly parents and
01:26:17.100 --> 01:26:19.539
they're still here, fucking make a sandwich with
01:26:19.539 --> 01:26:23.340
them. Ask them how their day was. And if you
01:26:23.340 --> 01:26:25.260
do that, no matter what, no matter where you
01:26:25.260 --> 01:26:31.220
go... Presence. This is such a... This typifies
01:26:31.220 --> 01:26:34.449
it perfectly. I do, as we're getting on an hour
01:26:34.449 --> 01:26:36.090
and a half, not that I have a heart out, but
01:26:36.090 --> 01:26:38.729
I do have a shitload of things that I need to
01:26:38.729 --> 01:26:42.930
do because my church, my meditation is being
01:26:42.930 --> 01:26:44.970
on the road. So part of my personal story is
01:26:44.970 --> 01:26:48.000
when all my shit hit the fan. On a Sunday night,
01:26:48.079 --> 01:26:50.039
I threatened to kill a man over 900 bucks. He
01:26:50.039 --> 01:26:51.520
was co -owner of the business that I was working
01:26:51.520 --> 01:26:53.380
for. And he lived right near me. He was a young
01:26:53.380 --> 01:26:55.399
man. He was a hothead. Either I was going to
01:26:55.399 --> 01:26:57.819
kill him or he was going to kill me. And that
01:26:57.819 --> 01:26:59.800
was on a Sunday night. Monday morning, I woke
01:26:59.800 --> 01:27:01.819
up and decided I'm going to drive to California
01:27:01.819 --> 01:27:03.960
and hug a redwood tree. I had no other plan.
01:27:04.119 --> 01:27:05.579
I had no whatever. But at that point, I had a
01:27:05.579 --> 01:27:07.899
shit ton of money. So I had a beautiful Audi
01:27:07.899 --> 01:27:11.159
S5 sports car. And I just said, fuck it. I left.
01:27:11.710 --> 01:27:13.989
I drove 26 hours straight, ended up in Kansas
01:27:13.989 --> 01:27:16.409
City, Missouri. And then from there, I did end
01:27:16.409 --> 01:27:18.210
up going to California and hug that red retreat.
01:27:18.449 --> 01:27:21.130
But I spent about nine months to a year basically
01:27:21.130 --> 01:27:23.369
living on the road, going back and forth to my
01:27:23.369 --> 01:27:25.430
parents' house. But I lived in the woods. I lived
01:27:25.430 --> 01:27:27.789
on the beaches. I lived out of my car. I love
01:27:27.789 --> 01:27:30.050
that so much. I did that one time. I went to
01:27:30.050 --> 01:27:32.210
Oregon to visit a friend. We went to the California
01:27:32.210 --> 01:27:34.609
Redwoods. We drove down in a truck. I slept in
01:27:34.609 --> 01:27:37.090
the bed of the truck. It was perfect. I had everything
01:27:37.090 --> 01:27:40.130
I needed. I took a shower at Denny's in the bathroom.
01:27:40.390 --> 01:27:45.340
Yep. It was literally joy. Practically speaking,
01:27:45.560 --> 01:27:50.100
I've now done that. I've crisscrossed the country
01:27:50.100 --> 01:27:53.880
now 10 times in the last three years. I just
01:27:53.880 --> 01:27:56.119
got back two days ago from Wyoming. I literally
01:27:56.119 --> 01:27:58.880
took a 12 -day trip. I went to Pittsburgh. I
01:27:58.880 --> 01:28:00.560
went to Illinois. I went to Kansas City to get
01:28:00.560 --> 01:28:02.800
my tattoo, including that fancy one we were talking
01:28:02.800 --> 01:28:05.340
about. I went to St. Louis. I went to Wyoming.
01:28:08.119 --> 01:28:12.109
I say that for me, being on the road is my church
01:28:12.109 --> 01:28:14.170
it's my meditation it's my connection to self
01:28:14.170 --> 01:28:17.590
i i drive at all like weird hours to avoid the
01:28:17.590 --> 01:28:20.029
traffic so i'm i'm when i'm on the road and i'm
01:28:20.029 --> 01:28:22.109
driving west and you're seeing the sunset west
01:28:22.109 --> 01:28:24.470
in every state over every from the plains of
01:28:24.470 --> 01:28:26.590
nebraska to the mountains to the rocky mountains
01:28:26.590 --> 01:28:28.270
to the coast it's just like and then when you're
01:28:28.270 --> 01:28:31.229
driving east to see the sunrise it's just absolutely
01:28:31.229 --> 01:28:34.029
amazing but i just took a 12 -day trip and i
01:28:34.029 --> 01:28:36.979
got back literally 48 hours ago. And that's why
01:28:36.979 --> 01:28:38.619
all my shit's around. I still haven't answered
01:28:38.619 --> 01:28:41.680
any of my emails. I've got like a million fucking
01:28:41.680 --> 01:28:43.920
things to do right now. They're all beautiful.
01:28:44.039 --> 01:28:45.300
They're all wonderful. And I'm excited to do
01:28:45.300 --> 01:28:49.600
them all. But on that road trip, so 12 days of
01:28:49.600 --> 01:28:51.720
living in my car. Oh, and a practical thing.
01:28:51.819 --> 01:28:53.720
Anytime Fitness, and this is a promotional plug,
01:28:53.779 --> 01:28:56.460
I guess. Anytime Fitness is a gym that's in every
01:28:56.460 --> 01:28:58.579
major state, every major city. They're all over
01:28:58.579 --> 01:29:01.760
the country. They have 24 -7 key fob kiosk. So
01:29:01.760 --> 01:29:04.000
you can go. They're open all the time. And they
01:29:04.000 --> 01:29:05.619
don't have men and women's locker rooms. They
01:29:05.619 --> 01:29:07.479
have individual bathrooms that have a single
01:29:07.479 --> 01:29:09.739
toilet, single shower, single whatever. So you
01:29:09.739 --> 01:29:12.819
can go lock it. So I typically go to those places
01:29:12.819 --> 01:29:14.880
at 3, 4, 5 in the morning when no one's there.
01:29:15.060 --> 01:29:17.600
So you can lock yourself in. You've got key fob
01:29:17.600 --> 01:29:20.020
to get in. You can go on your phone, sit on the
01:29:20.020 --> 01:29:21.960
toilet, and fucking doom scroll if you want for
01:29:21.960 --> 01:29:24.220
45 minutes and not worry. But to be on the road,
01:29:24.279 --> 01:29:26.359
to have a safe, clean place to shit, shave, shower,
01:29:26.560 --> 01:29:28.619
to know that you can always go and have your
01:29:28.619 --> 01:29:31.560
own whatever. So that's what I do. I took two
01:29:31.560 --> 01:29:34.829
warm showers a day. all on the road um and because
01:29:34.829 --> 01:29:36.850
i like going to the bathroom in a clean place
01:29:36.850 --> 01:29:40.210
um i slept in my car which was fine so i i spent
01:29:40.210 --> 01:29:42.609
this entire 12 days with on a very tight budget
01:29:42.609 --> 01:29:46.229
but the point of that was i went all over the
01:29:46.229 --> 01:29:48.109
place did a whole bunch of shit and when i was
01:29:48.109 --> 01:29:50.619
talking to my mom the other day I was like, mom,
01:29:50.760 --> 01:29:53.800
I'm like, I really haven't had one fucking second
01:29:53.800 --> 01:29:57.300
of discontent or dysregulation. So not once did
01:29:57.300 --> 01:29:59.239
I have to pee too bad. Not once did I think about
01:29:59.239 --> 01:30:01.319
running out of gas. Not once did I have a bad
01:30:01.319 --> 01:30:05.500
meal. But then I said, fuck, not once did I have
01:30:05.500 --> 01:30:08.420
one second that wasn't 100 % blissed out. like
01:30:08.420 --> 01:30:12.140
completely blissed like great song happy to pull
01:30:12.140 --> 01:30:14.380
over to sleep happy when i took off my shoes
01:30:14.380 --> 01:30:16.699
happy when i put on my shoes happy when i did
01:30:16.699 --> 01:30:19.119
everything and i was just like wow i just spent
01:30:19.119 --> 01:30:24.170
12 days where I was on a true 12 out of 10 vibratory
01:30:24.170 --> 01:30:27.670
hum. I made new friends. I met new women. I've
01:30:27.670 --> 01:30:30.130
got fucking dates lined up. I'm going to Nebraska
01:30:30.130 --> 01:30:33.250
to see this beautiful young lady. I went with
01:30:33.250 --> 01:30:35.270
like 20 books just in case, like, hey, maybe
01:30:35.270 --> 01:30:37.949
I'll sell some books. I sold them all. I lined
01:30:37.949 --> 01:30:40.710
up speaking events. Like, name it, name it, name
01:30:40.710 --> 01:30:42.970
it, name it, name it. I did three deep, deep
01:30:42.970 --> 01:30:45.250
psychedelic meditations, including with Bufo,
01:30:45.270 --> 01:30:51.109
with 5 -MeO, and NNDMT. I bathed in vernal pools.
01:30:51.430 --> 01:30:53.989
I mean, and I could fucking rant for the next
01:30:53.989 --> 01:30:57.350
three hours, but most people haven't experienced
01:30:57.350 --> 01:31:00.989
bliss in themselves for a moment ever or five
01:31:00.989 --> 01:31:04.090
minutes ever or they're working there all day
01:31:04.090 --> 01:31:05.989
and they just want that cigarette in the garage
01:31:05.989 --> 01:31:07.970
when the kids go to sleep and they take that
01:31:07.970 --> 01:31:10.569
puff and they're like, or they do that shot of
01:31:10.569 --> 01:31:13.010
bourbon or for the person that masturbates, for
01:31:13.010 --> 01:31:14.289
the person, like whatever. It's like they're
01:31:14.289 --> 01:31:16.890
looking for that three seconds of release and
01:31:16.890 --> 01:31:19.840
I'm trying to tell you, You don't need any type
01:31:19.840 --> 01:31:21.960
of release. You can be in that complete and still
01:31:21.960 --> 01:31:23.859
masturbate and still smoke the cigarette and
01:31:23.859 --> 01:31:26.619
still do all those things. But don't look for
01:31:26.619 --> 01:31:29.119
that for the release to complete you. To your
01:31:29.119 --> 01:31:32.180
point, all the psychedelic experiences are within
01:31:32.180 --> 01:31:34.880
you. Everything that you just described. It is
01:31:34.880 --> 01:31:36.819
no lesser than my psychedelic experiences. If
01:31:36.819 --> 01:31:39.779
anything, you've figured out what I'm seeking,
01:31:39.979 --> 01:31:42.439
which is, oh, fuck. How do you release it chemically
01:31:42.439 --> 01:31:45.199
in your own self where I needed an outside catalyst?
01:31:45.199 --> 01:31:48.340
Yeah, I have no idea. I didn't mean to. But now
01:31:48.340 --> 01:31:49.659
you're going to spend the rest of your life looking
01:31:49.659 --> 01:31:52.699
for it. But it just goes to show you that you...
01:31:53.149 --> 01:31:55.409
were the the limiting factor you were the power
01:31:55.409 --> 01:31:58.329
you did not need adam butler's dmt you did not
01:31:58.329 --> 01:32:00.569
need a micro dose of shrooms you just needed
01:32:00.569 --> 01:32:02.770
christine to know how powerful christine is and
01:32:02.770 --> 01:32:04.930
then it was like oh and then to hear you talk
01:32:04.930 --> 01:32:08.149
about yourself you do not come off as braggadocious
01:32:08.149 --> 01:32:09.930
you do not come off as conceited you do not come
01:32:09.930 --> 01:32:13.590
off as you come off as funny cool authentic comfortable
01:32:13.590 --> 01:32:16.569
in her own skin and but you know just meeting
01:32:16.569 --> 01:32:18.750
you now for an hour and a half I think you're
01:32:18.750 --> 01:32:20.529
comfortable expressing your boundaries. I think
01:32:20.529 --> 01:32:22.829
you're comfortable sharing your story. And you're
01:32:22.829 --> 01:32:25.109
not trying to have people agree with you or you're
01:32:25.109 --> 01:32:26.810
not trying to convince anybody of what you said.
01:32:26.909 --> 01:32:29.510
You've experienced it. Like, you know. This is
01:32:29.510 --> 01:32:32.210
not, well, I think. No, you fucking know. And
01:32:32.210 --> 01:32:34.210
there's a big difference. And it's refreshing
01:32:34.210 --> 01:32:37.949
to interact with you because I don't need to
01:32:37.949 --> 01:32:39.869
have experienced the exact same thing that you
01:32:39.869 --> 01:32:41.970
have. But when you tell me you took a lesson
01:32:41.970 --> 01:32:44.659
from it. I can now apply that lesson to my life
01:32:44.659 --> 01:32:46.560
because I know you got it from an authentic place,
01:32:46.680 --> 01:32:48.699
which was higher than yourself. And when I come
01:32:48.699 --> 01:32:50.800
back and say I've gotten information from these
01:32:50.800 --> 01:32:53.380
higher energetic sources, it's the same thing.
01:32:53.460 --> 01:32:55.180
And it's like your friend Christina being like,
01:32:55.239 --> 01:32:56.939
yeah, I was swirling my hand and something was
01:32:56.939 --> 01:32:59.119
just coming. Like, yeah, you don't need to explain
01:32:59.119 --> 01:33:01.079
it or understand how. Just know once you've done
01:33:01.079 --> 01:33:03.840
that one, two, ten times. you realize like, oh
01:33:03.840 --> 01:33:06.779
yeah, this is it. It's not, oh, I need a new
01:33:06.779 --> 01:33:09.199
TV or let me keep up with the Joneses. Or if
01:33:09.199 --> 01:33:11.239
I just, in my case, I thought if I had a prettier
01:33:11.239 --> 01:33:13.939
girlfriend, a faster car, a little bit more money,
01:33:14.100 --> 01:33:16.060
a couple more tattoos and some bigger muscles,
01:33:16.159 --> 01:33:18.619
oh, I'll just be fine. All of those are fucking
01:33:18.619 --> 01:33:20.500
taken away with a finger snap where it's like,
01:33:20.539 --> 01:33:23.739
now I know to your point, that beautiful inner
01:33:23.739 --> 01:33:26.840
glowing source of, in your case, purple cloudy
01:33:26.840 --> 01:33:30.899
energy is your inner light. recently over the
01:33:30.899 --> 01:33:33.239
past three or four months even my deep deep psychedelic
01:33:33.239 --> 01:33:36.520
explorations have really just given me i always
01:33:36.520 --> 01:33:38.420
had the confidence but just the true true knowing
01:33:38.420 --> 01:33:40.880
now that yeah that internal light does come from
01:33:40.880 --> 01:33:43.539
within it's 360 degrees and that there cannot
01:33:43.539 --> 01:33:45.960
be shade put at it it can't be lessened it can't
01:33:45.960 --> 01:33:48.899
be dulled and it can't be shaded and if there's
01:33:48.899 --> 01:33:50.859
any plaque or gunk or sludge that can be put
01:33:50.859 --> 01:33:53.399
on it it's going to come from within me And now
01:33:53.399 --> 01:33:55.920
I know that and I'm very conscious of what I
01:33:55.920 --> 01:33:57.880
put in my body, who I put around my body, the
01:33:57.880 --> 01:34:00.100
conversations I have. I don't just randomly do
01:34:00.100 --> 01:34:02.539
podcasts. I don't randomly just like, I'm really,
01:34:02.659 --> 01:34:07.359
this is only what I want in my field gets led
01:34:07.359 --> 01:34:10.039
into it. And for the rest of my life. So it won't
01:34:10.039 --> 01:34:12.460
be poisonous alcohol. It won't be fucking deceitful
01:34:12.460 --> 01:34:14.420
conversations. It won't be scumbag guys trying
01:34:14.420 --> 01:34:16.500
to screw me 900 bucks. It won't be women that
01:34:16.500 --> 01:34:18.640
are using me for whatever. It's like, no, I'm
01:34:18.640 --> 01:34:22.359
good. Yeah. And I thank you so much for your
01:34:22.359 --> 01:34:25.119
time today. And I really I would love to talk
01:34:25.119 --> 01:34:27.840
with you again. There's so much we could get
01:34:27.840 --> 01:34:30.000
into. And this was such an incredible conversation.
01:34:30.119 --> 01:34:32.340
I really appreciate your insight and your experience.
01:34:32.699 --> 01:34:35.699
Thank you for all the kind things you said to
01:34:35.699 --> 01:34:38.479
me about the podcast. And I'm glad that you enjoy
01:34:38.479 --> 01:34:40.939
it. I hope that all the listeners are also enjoying
01:34:40.939 --> 01:34:44.020
it. And I enjoy it very much. That's why I'm
01:34:44.020 --> 01:34:47.359
doing it. It just seems to be one of my favorite
01:34:47.359 --> 01:34:51.000
things to do is have awesome conversations with
01:34:51.000 --> 01:34:53.760
awesome people and share them. And let's, let's
01:34:53.760 --> 01:34:55.840
remove this, the stigma. Let's remove the shame.
01:34:55.979 --> 01:34:58.239
Let's remove the taboo. And that happens by not
01:34:58.239 --> 01:35:00.020
jamming something down people's throat and trying
01:35:00.020 --> 01:35:02.000
to convince them that our modalities are correct,
01:35:02.079 --> 01:35:04.579
but it's having people that, that are comfortable
01:35:04.579 --> 01:35:06.239
in their own skin, like me and your other pride
01:35:06.239 --> 01:35:08.100
guests, just to be like, Hey, this is my experience.
01:35:08.159 --> 01:35:09.699
If you can take, just like if you read a book
01:35:09.699 --> 01:35:11.260
or watch a movie, if you can take one or two
01:35:11.260 --> 01:35:14.479
like tidbits away from it. And I think that's
01:35:14.479 --> 01:35:16.340
what you're allowing this platform to do is you're
01:35:16.340 --> 01:35:17.840
letting people come in to say, and I haven't
01:35:17.840 --> 01:35:20.020
heard any of your guests say, I've got all the
01:35:20.020 --> 01:35:22.100
answer. Follow me. Sign up for my shit. Like,
01:35:22.100 --> 01:35:24.699
I'll fix you. It's more just like, yeah, this
01:35:24.699 --> 01:35:26.600
is what I found. If I can help you hold the mirror
01:35:26.600 --> 01:35:29.600
to yourself, this is what I've done. And yeah,
01:35:29.659 --> 01:35:31.880
that's a very, very important share because that's
01:35:31.880 --> 01:35:34.359
what's needed in society right now. I think that's
01:35:34.359 --> 01:35:36.819
this big evolutionary shift that is happening.
01:35:37.000 --> 01:35:39.000
And it starts with an individual, which then
01:35:39.000 --> 01:35:40.859
goes to its inner circle and family, which then
01:35:40.859 --> 01:35:43.229
its community, which then. you know i think we
01:35:43.229 --> 01:35:45.390
have this this growing momentum where we don't
01:35:45.390 --> 01:35:47.829
need a majority we certainly don't need everybody
01:35:47.829 --> 01:35:51.229
but we need enough energetic powerful people
01:35:51.229 --> 01:35:53.529
to keep sharing the message of love light sharing
01:35:53.529 --> 01:35:56.510
self -exploration self -love in whatever modality
01:35:56.510 --> 01:35:58.210
that works for you and that's going to be unique
01:35:58.210 --> 01:36:00.729
to everybody find your modality lean into it
01:36:00.729 --> 01:36:04.909
learn more and then smile like us yeah and be
01:36:04.909 --> 01:36:07.569
you and be you and be perfectly beaut with all
01:36:07.569 --> 01:36:09.449
of your faults all of your flaws all of your
01:36:09.449 --> 01:36:13.750
um Yeah, like in... I met this gentleman the
01:36:13.750 --> 01:36:17.310
other day. He was like 350 pounds, 380 pounds.
01:36:17.569 --> 01:36:19.649
You could tell he was sweating. He was laboring.
01:36:19.710 --> 01:36:22.449
He had a brace on his leg. He was going through
01:36:22.449 --> 01:36:24.890
all this shit. Well, after 20 minutes of talking
01:36:24.890 --> 01:36:27.130
with him... he's now a year and a half sober
01:36:27.130 --> 01:36:29.869
from alcohol he was 500 plus pounds he's lost
01:36:29.869 --> 01:36:32.670
100 something pounds he's on this amazing journey
01:36:32.670 --> 01:36:35.149
of knowledge self -exploration and yeah he's
01:36:35.149 --> 01:36:37.329
got a long way to go he's still a big big man
01:36:37.329 --> 01:36:38.869
and it's stressful for him just to get up and
01:36:38.869 --> 01:36:41.390
down but then him and i had this awesome conversation
01:36:41.390 --> 01:36:44.729
about like yeah dude like i got you i'm your
01:36:44.729 --> 01:36:48.170
fan i love you i can tell you keep alcohol out
01:36:48.170 --> 01:36:51.050
of your life it won't work um this will get easier
01:36:51.050 --> 01:36:53.149
and it was just this really beautiful like where
01:36:53.149 --> 01:36:54.869
i guarantee you so many people walked into that
01:36:54.869 --> 01:36:56.750
gas station it was just like oh look at this
01:36:56.750 --> 01:36:59.529
overweight slob he must be so lazy what a degenerate
01:36:59.529 --> 01:37:01.050
he probably goes home and drinks every night
01:37:01.050 --> 01:37:04.869
all right that's not the case like he's this
01:37:04.869 --> 01:37:06.930
beautiful young man who's finally taking the
01:37:06.930 --> 01:37:09.130
courage to look at himself and that's what you
01:37:09.130 --> 01:37:11.609
and i and the people that i try to you know hang
01:37:11.609 --> 01:37:13.829
around with is again seeing life through god's
01:37:13.829 --> 01:37:16.420
eyes Don't judge the man because he's sweating
01:37:16.420 --> 01:37:18.920
and he's laboring to get up and down to get my
01:37:18.920 --> 01:37:22.600
fucking product. In that case, I was going to
01:37:22.600 --> 01:37:26.300
get some cigarillos to pack to make a nice weed
01:37:26.300 --> 01:37:29.229
blunt out of. And it's like... the guy's helping
01:37:29.229 --> 01:37:31.729
me out you know he and it's just but what but
01:37:31.729 --> 01:37:33.069
there's so many people i guarantee you that would
01:37:33.069 --> 01:37:35.949
judge him as lesser than or whatever or i'm looking
01:37:35.949 --> 01:37:37.869
at him being like and i'm not gay i'm not trying
01:37:37.869 --> 01:37:39.829
to get in his pants i wasn't if he was gay that
01:37:39.829 --> 01:37:42.409
probably wouldn't be my type like i'm just looking
01:37:42.409 --> 01:37:44.890
at him as a young man i love you dude i see you
01:37:44.890 --> 01:37:48.050
i hear your struggle keep at it i'm a fan of
01:37:48.050 --> 01:37:50.329
yours good for you yeah how about you leave the
01:37:50.329 --> 01:37:52.590
gas station like that and that's if we do that
01:37:52.590 --> 01:37:55.329
with every every interaction we all do it just
01:37:55.329 --> 01:37:58.619
multiplies and it It's self -perpetuating, and
01:37:58.619 --> 01:38:02.699
it feels good. Yeah, so I'm in. Absolutely. I'll
01:38:02.699 --> 01:38:04.420
help you share your message. You help me share
01:38:04.420 --> 01:38:06.579
mine. I'm definitely down for a round two. Yeah.
01:38:06.680 --> 01:38:08.659
I definitely want to connect you with several,
01:38:08.739 --> 01:38:10.579
and I don't want to separate male from female
01:38:10.579 --> 01:38:12.800
because there has to be a blending, and there
01:38:12.800 --> 01:38:15.140
is a beautiful blending happening. But I have
01:38:15.140 --> 01:38:18.199
some really powerful female successful businesswomen
01:38:18.199 --> 01:38:20.260
that have explored all these modalities for years
01:38:20.260 --> 01:38:22.140
and years that I think you could either learn
01:38:22.140 --> 01:38:24.500
from personally or have as a guest on your podcast
01:38:24.500 --> 01:38:26.739
or both. I'd be happy to share some of those
01:38:26.739 --> 01:38:29.659
women with you. Yes, absolutely. Thank you so
01:38:29.659 --> 01:38:32.180
much. I really appreciate your time today, Adam.
01:38:32.239 --> 01:38:35.560
And I look forward to you getting decompressing
01:38:35.560 --> 01:38:38.300
from your travels and reorganizing, preparing
01:38:38.300 --> 01:38:41.119
for your next round of travels. I got my Palo
01:38:41.119 --> 01:38:46.199
Santo. I got my bong. He's ready to go. But yeah,
01:38:46.279 --> 01:38:49.840
and my next 24 hours, then 48, and then for the
01:38:49.840 --> 01:38:51.479
rest of this week is just full of what I want
01:38:51.479 --> 01:38:54.279
to do. And yeah, I'm excited. That's amazing.
01:38:54.520 --> 01:38:56.979
Thank you so much for your time, Adam. Have a
01:38:56.979 --> 01:38:59.500
wonderful day. Thank you so much for listening
01:38:59.500 --> 01:39:02.920
to our conversation today. What stayed with me
01:39:02.920 --> 01:39:05.760
the most is the reminder that no one else can
01:39:05.760 --> 01:39:09.359
hand us the truth of who we are. Other people,
01:39:09.539 --> 01:39:12.939
relationships, medicine, spiritual practices.
01:39:13.720 --> 01:39:17.460
And unexpected experiences may hold up the mirror,
01:39:17.619 --> 01:39:20.720
but eventually we have to be willing to look
01:39:20.720 --> 01:39:24.760
into it with honesty and love. You don't have
01:39:24.760 --> 01:39:27.979
to choose Adam's path or mine for this conversation
01:39:27.979 --> 01:39:31.960
to mean something to you. Your doorway may be
01:39:31.960 --> 01:39:37.220
meditation, movement, breath work, nature, intimacy,
01:39:37.739 --> 01:39:41.920
prayer, or simply becoming quiet enough to hear
01:39:41.920 --> 01:39:44.989
yourself again. or potentially for the first
01:39:44.989 --> 01:39:49.510
time. The modality may change, but the invitation
01:39:49.510 --> 01:39:53.810
is the same. Stop abandoning yourself. Become
01:39:53.810 --> 01:39:56.970
curious about what is within you and give yourself
01:39:56.970 --> 01:40:02.090
permission to be awesome. If this episode resonated
01:40:02.090 --> 01:40:05.289
with you, please follow or subscribe to In My
01:40:05.289 --> 01:40:08.970
Experience, leave a rating or review, and share
01:40:08.970 --> 01:40:11.149
it with someone who you think may need to hear
01:40:11.149 --> 01:40:15.159
it. You can connect with me on Instagram at Hyacinth
01:40:15.159 --> 01:40:18.140
Healing for Akashic Records readings. And you
01:40:18.140 --> 01:40:22.319
can connect with Adam on Instagram, the Alchemist
01:40:22.319 --> 01:40:25.640
of Tears. I will also put links in the show notes
01:40:25.640 --> 01:40:29.760
for how to contact both of us. Until next time,
01:40:29.779 --> 01:40:34.020
trust your experience, honor your path, and keep
01:40:34.020 --> 01:40:39.319
becoming more fully yourself. As always, enjoy
01:40:39.319 --> 01:40:42.220
this track by Stilo Free. lights and shadows,
01:40:42.380 --> 01:41:18.369
and I'll catch you next week. Cause pressure
01:41:18.369 --> 01:41:21.250
made diamonds, laid back, smoking loud in the
01:41:21.250 --> 01:41:25.529
silence. I wrote love and go up, while you tripping,
01:41:25.529 --> 01:41:28.449
giving me no love. Nowadays, you don't gotta
01:41:28.449 --> 01:41:31.670
mind me. In the end, I hope you really find peace.
01:41:32.390 --> 01:41:36.350
I had to set my mind free. I had to let my soul
01:41:36.350 --> 01:41:39.189
breathe. Moonsign Pisces, heart broke psyche.
01:41:39.590 --> 01:41:41.689
Angels all around me, but demons wanna fight
01:41:41.689 --> 01:41:44.930
me. Felt like I had to fight myself. Know I had
01:41:44.930 --> 01:41:48.060
to look inside myself. With a predisposition
01:41:48.060 --> 01:41:50.260
to addiction. Through the negatives, I'm still
01:41:50.260 --> 01:41:52.239
focused on the vision. It's sort of like that
01:41:52.239 --> 01:41:54.460
first scene you see in Pulp Fiction. I see the
01:41:54.460 --> 01:41:57.199
end, but it's really only the beginning. I had
01:41:57.199 --> 01:42:00.760
to find a way to be grateful. For them locked
01:42:00.760 --> 01:42:03.939
doors that you may close. When doves cry, it's
01:42:03.939 --> 01:42:07.439
so painful. But the purple rain is so graceful.
01:42:08.199 --> 01:42:29.890
Cause pressure made diamonds. I'm fighting battles
01:42:29.890 --> 01:42:33.130
lost between the lights and the shadows trying
01:42:33.130 --> 01:42:35.649
to shoot me down I'm dodging all the ammo left
01:42:35.649 --> 01:42:38.189
me hanging I escaped from the gallows swim through
01:42:38.189 --> 01:42:41.109
the ether blowing on a reefer running like rev
01:42:41.109 --> 01:42:44.529
when he rapped about adidas it's like my flow
01:42:44.529 --> 01:43:07.000
is heaven sent my Peace. You know the rest.