Be First, Be Solid, Be Uncommon — The Anti-Hustle Path | D Grant Smith

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D Grant: Don't take yourself so goddamn seriously.

if we would stop taking ourselves so goddamn seriously, taking things personally, and start and begin a practice of It's okay, I love you,

I believe we would have world peace. I believe there would be no such thing as poverty. I believe there would be no such thing as sickness. I believe there would be no such thing as war.

And I believe that us as individual conscious creators, us as pieces of God, if we all embodied this grace for ourselves and grace for other people, and we stop taking everything so seriously and stop getting so personally offended by every little thing, our world would literally transform overnight.

Meredith: The first. Be solid B uncommon. Today we are getting our daily dose of vitamin D [00:01:00] grant Smith. As we discuss what the hell growth farming is, how to go through hell and come out whole and unleashing your confidence and inner power. Before we dive in, though, I sincerely want to thank you for having the bravery to face your shit and heal yourself. Because we are talking about truth, freedom. And very real shit on their show. It's exposure and reach are being censored. So thank you for also having the bravery to like share and subscribe this content far and wide to help me break the algorithm and help others heal themselves. I also want to shout out a big, thank you to everyone who is listening for the very first time. So who am I?

And why did I decide to create this show? After unraveling. All of the medical and pharmaceutical eyes. I had been told about my endometriosis. I educated myself and I [00:02:00] was able to heal myself after 17 years of debilitating pain. Whether it's endo or any other disorder labeled as chronic, we expose the lesser known solutions that can heal your mind, your body and your spirit. I'm also an artist and photographer.

So I created an ongoing art series about it called every phase. Where I illustrate, how I healed myself. Has I lived by the phases of the female hormonal cycle? The artwork shows what's happening in the brain and the body. During each phase and reveals how to bio-hack and leverage this energy in your life. I am actually living the art.

So it's about more than just healing. The writing and the art discuss truth. Freedom and our current financial and healthcare system slavery. As well as the way out of it to learn more, subscribe to the newsletter on my website, Meredith ochoa.com. While you're over [00:03:00] there, hover over the press and contact menu and click on my quick links page. If you're looking for high quality trusted supplements without all the bullshit. Scroll on down to my affiliate link for a cent nutrition.

I personally know Lance the owner. We did a wildly powerful episode. What the health is the name of it. Definitely give it a listen. These are some of the tinctures and supplements I currently take. I really, really love the pine pollen tincture for both men and women's hormonal health. As it has drastically helped me sustain and continue my menstrual and sexual health. Speaking of sex first, if there is a woman, you know, who is struggling with period pain, the foundation. Of how I healed myself, began with reading woman code and in the flow by Alyssa Vitti. For an easy to understand one stop shop of this cycle, sinking methodology with meal plans, [00:04:00] explanations and all the works.

I highly recommend. The period liberation protocol by chef bay. No matter what point you're at in your healing, the recipes meal plans and detox methods are invaluable. And to sustain that true healing, we have to strengthen the foundation of where it all begins. At home. And by home, I mean the home within you. The best relationships, confidence, success, and the foundation of all healing and everything we really want. Begins with you. To cultivate this checkout D grant Smith's incredible growth farming platform using my affiliate link below. So all of that to say, even though I was lied to for years, My doctor's promoting big pharma.

I was able to find experts who helped me achieve what I thought was impossible. This show introduces them and their methodologies to you. The expert we are chatting with [00:05:00] today is author, speaker and Alchemist D grant Smith. He's a lover of great stories and the power that stories have to connect us to ourselves, each other, and our purpose. He's used the power of storytelling in every industry he's worked in, including being a syndicated radio host, a personal development teacher, life coach and marketing professional. Focusing his creative abilities on ways to make powerful life lessons. Easy to understand.

He writes and teaches others through the power of story, how to transform their lives and relationships. Particularly for highly sensitive individuals and creatives, the results you'll experience from hearing D grant. Our inspiration, improve confidence and empowerment. An increase in joy, peace and happiness with a little fun thrown in there too. His transformational storytelling, personal growth teachings, life lessons, and more are all available@groupfarming.com.[00:06:00]

when I started my radio show before I made the first episode, I wanted to have a different name because I thought Dave Smith was the most boring name ever. And, so I asked a couple of friends, I was thinking I'll go with like Don Johnson or something like that, but there already is a Don Johnson.

D Grant: So this is before Dos Equis came out. I could have just been like, I'm the world's most interesting man, because that would have segwayed into all these interesting things that I would have done that I didn't know I was going to do, because I have lived a very interesting life.

How to bless the living hell out of your career

D Grant: I've talked to amazing people now, you among them. but so my friend of mine said, why don't you go with your first initial and your middle name? What's your middle name? And I was like, my middle name is Grant. And I, nobody, I never went with that. And it was a name that was never said, ever.

So I was like, D Grant, that sounds sophisticated sort of James Bond y kind of thing. And they're like, yeah, D Grant sounds cool. It just rolls off the tongue. And I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go with that. So I was D Grant once a week when I did the Appetizer radio show.

[00:07:00] And then five years after I started it, a guy was driving through my town out of, Dallas. And he happened to flip on to the NPR station, which is where I work, happened to hear my show, happened to hear one of my good friend's songs, loved it, wrote her name down, got home, looked her up, did an interview with her.

He worked at the Dallas Morning News. She messaged me and said, do you know this guy at the Dallas Morning News that did this whole feature article on me? And I'm like, no. And she's you need to look this guy up cause he's in love with your show. And he found me and did this whole piece on it. And I'm like, what the crap?

So I contact this guy and we're still friends. And, he said, how come I can't hear your show in Dallas? And I said, cause I'm an Abilene dude. And he's well, you need to figure out how to get your show to Dallas. And so that's when I began reaching out to radio stations to pick up my show and get syndicated and I did it all myself.

And instead of paying a marketing agency, 30, 000 to pitch [00:08:00] me everywhere. I learned how to build relationships with people and then I wrote a book about it because as a radio host, I got pitches all the time from record labels and promoters and independent musicians that all wanted airplane. I'm like, if you guys would just take the time to write a personal message and ask a question, like, how could I be a part of what you're doing?

You'll get responses. I promise. So if you are an artist, it doesn't matter whether you're a musician or not. If you're an artist and you want people to pay attention to you, do what Dale Carnegie said in 1933. I wrote this in my book.

The first book I ever published is called The DIY Musician's Radio Handbook. Buy it! Not because you're going to give me money, but because it's going to bless the living hell out of your artistic career, I promise. It will tell you exactly what to do, even though it was written five or no, it was written close to 10 years ago.

Same print. The principles are what you're paying attention to in everything. Principles are what you're paying attention to. The principle is this is what Dale Carnegie said. You gain more friends. In two months by showing an [00:09:00] interest in other people, then you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you.

Now, I've memorized that quote because it's proven true over and over again. Most people in the big grand scheme of the world, they don't know who I am, and that's perfectly fine. They will. But I have talked to some of the most influential people in business, marketing, media, music.

How did I do that? Because I was interested in them first. And because when I contacted them, I wasn't begging them to give me a chance at something. I was meeting them as an equal, but I was wanting to do something collaborative together. Do that, it will advance your career in so many different places.

But all of that to say, going back to Michael, who ended up doing a piece about me for the Dallas Morning News. I ended up getting picked up by 60 stations, media platforms. Around the country and a couple in Europe, a couple in Canada. My show went off the air in [00:10:00] 2019. As far as I know, there is at least three, three radio stations still playing my radio show, three years later.

Why? Because it's still available for them, and it still resonates with their audience, and they're still playing repeated episodes. I'm like the Car Talk of these places. We

Meredith: have to link to that. We have to link to that in the show notes. We're gonna link to that. That's

D Grant: awesome. So, to answer your question, going back to why I don't go by David, I'm perfectly cool with anybody calling me David.

It's my name, and it's the name of a king, and that's who I am. I own it. That's amazing. I own it now.

Meredith: and I love the, just vitamin D, the daily dose. So

D Grant: I love that. That was just an idea, like an idea somewhere that just came to me, cause I'm a very empowering and encouraging person. And somebody said something about like how they needed some vitamin D for their day.

I'm like, you need some vitamin D granite. Ooh, there's a name. So then once I had the [00:11:00] idea, it just became a thing and it's super catchy. So.

Going through hell & coming out whole

Meredith: Yeah, and you don't actually, this is something doctors won't tell you, you don't actually get vitamin D from the sun in the winter, which we're moving into.

So you need more vitamin D, Grant Smith, of, yeah, in both forms. So, and vitamin D, it's so it's actually perfect. It's perfect for your name because it's, helps your emotions, your brain, your immune system, the foundation of what's home, which you so often talk about. Like our home, essentially our temple that houses, there's multiple homes in our home and then we're in our home and we'll get to that.

But before we get to that, I know you have a book title that I really can relate to. It's called be solid how to go through hell and come out whole So [00:12:00] I just love for you to share a little bit about you know How you and this is a really face your shit kind of name So how you can't came to face your shit leading you to Become the transformational coach and relationship growth farmer that you are today

D Grant: so in 2017 by the way, I'm a storyteller. So you're gonna ask me a question. I'm gonna answer with the story. in 2017 on February the 1st. I'm a date guy I woke up at 7, 6. 30, something like that, and came downstairs as I typically did every morning to make coffee for my wife and I, and, I was, my buddy, Tim was going to pick me up.

He was doing an event speaking to a group of middle school, high school kids about the power of love. Now, Tim is also an artist storyteller. if you ever listened to my old [00:13:00] podcast, the DIY artist route. Which I've interviewed, a bunch of really awesome people, including one of my biggest heroes, Seth Godin.

Tim did the theme song for that. just a brilliant storyteller, singer, songwriter, and living human Care Bear. That I got to experience the power of his Care Bear stare on this day. And it ended up leading to the book that you asked me about. So, Tim invited me to go with him to co storytell with these kids about the power of love.

Because I had, he heard me tell a story about an experience that I had when I was 12, that had scarred me for life until I decided to face that fear and overcome, rejection, basically. But I made coffee, went upstairs. There's 30 minutes. And so Tim's going to pick me up. So the coffee down on the bedside table and my wife said, Hey, I've got something I want to tell you, but I don't know how to say it.[00:14:00]

And I was like, well, I got 30 minutes before I leave. What is it you want to say? well,

I don't love you. And. I want to leave.

Yeah.

Great.

Let me call Tim, I'll cancel the trip. We need to work on this. No, there's nothing you can do. I've already made my decision. Well, my identity was attached to that relationship, subconsciously and somewhat consciously too. My whole sense of value and worth came from being married to this person.

And so in that moment, 30 minutes before I'm going to go talk about the power of love, my whole world came. Not just apart and undone, but like the planet Krypton exploded from the inside out, and that's what happened to me. [00:15:00] I contemplated doing the worst of the worst things to myself. And I emotionally shut down.

I didn't know what to do. I thought everything was going to hell. And she said, just go on your trip and come back. I'll be here when you get back. And it felt like. It felt like Mike Tyson taking like a, an iron bar and pummeling me with it in the head, in the body, in the heart. And I got in my friend's car, we got on the highway, and he had asked me a couple questions, and I didn't know how to respond to them.

Until finally I broke down and told him. This is divine providence though, because Tim is once again a living human care bearer. You'll hear it in his music, listen to his songs. You'll feel the Care Bear stare coming into your soul, I swear to God. We'll link to it, for sure. So for the next 12 hours, I got to experience that [00:16:00] love, and that kindness, and that healing from his heart and his soul being poured into mine, and I was able to give a talk, and tell a story, and not break down, and not fall apart.

And then when I got back home, I did my best to try to heal things. Seemed like it was starting to, and then it didn't. And I got to a place where I really had to just let go and let God and, I was reminded of something that I experienced about 10 years prior to this when I faced something that at that point in time was one of my biggest fears.

But this was my actual biggest fear come to life. Rejection and abandonment. If you're a highly sensitive person, you know very well the fear of rejection and abandonment, not just by anybody, but by the person that you have committed your life to and they have committed their life back to you.

It's the worst fear. Well, I had an experience. I was starting to write a book about some of the things I [00:17:00] was processing. And I was sitting exactly in the same place I'm sitting now. And I had a memory of my wedding day, which at the time had been my favorite memory. And it felt good for a moment until suddenly everything like went black.

And I fell on the floor and I heard this voice in my head saying, Dude, that's not your story anymore. She confirmed you're really not good enough. Boom, I'm in the floor, I'm shaking, I'm crying, I feel utterly worthless, twenty stories below rock bottom, hell,

and I heard the still small voice that came to me, still, the still small voice, not the loud, angry, aggressive one, the still small voice said, You don't know what love really is, and you don't know how to love yourself, and this is the true cause of all of your pain. It wasn't that she left me, she was a [00:18:00] mirror for myself.

She showed me how I felt about me and if I wanted to heal, I had to change the way that I felt about me. So I started writing that book and it came out in 2019 after a, and by the way, I'm still on that healing journey because there's still parts of my self concept that resonate with that. It's not good enough.

Rejection story. End. In any relationship, friend or otherwise, that I've had and continue to have, when that reflects back to me, instead of being mad at the person, I'm like, okay, thank you for the reflection. This is another, there's another thing that I need to love within myself, love myself, love other people.

That's where the healing comes from. So that's what, be solid, how to go through hell and come out whole. That's how I came into being. And that's how I'm still living this story. Wow.

Be Solid, be first, be uncommon

Meredith: It's [00:19:00] actually very appropriate that the power of love. Was what you were going to speak about because literally the power of love look at the power of love in your life on the reverse like the power of that experience Launched you not only into the book but into loving yourself.

So the power of love I think most people think of it as Oh, the power of love, like when two people love each other. But in this instance, it's the power of love, not having it or not being reciprocated. So it's all the way around. That's what I really resonated with me from what you were speaking

D Grant: about.

Yeah, it's well, everything starts with yourself. So yeah, I based be solid. Around one of the principles that my boxing coach taught me in 2007. I joined a boxing gym because I couldn't cross the street. I don't know if you've heard the story or not, your audience. [00:20:00] So I was standing on a street corner in Abilene, Texas, by the way, if you want to know where Abilene is, you've never heard of it before, totally fine, take your finger, point it into the middle of the state, you've hit us, we're three hours due west of Dallas Fort Worth, three hours due east of Midland Odessa, if you know where that is, or eight hours due east of El Paso, right in the middle.

Yeah. There's

Meredith: a movie about on a peacock or something. I w I watched a movie. It was Ashton Kutcher's a really crazy movie, but it took place in Abilene, Texas. Sorry. You sure it wasn't Abilene, Kansas? No, it was Texas. It was straight up Texas. Cause it's super Southern. It was like a very interesting, crime, but also, dark humor movie.

We'll link to that as well.

D Grant: I'm curious, because there's not a ton of crime. There's some, there is some stuff that happens. I used to live in the hood. the hood for us, not the hood like, Brooklyn or [00:21:00] anything like that. No, it was like a

Meredith: personal thing. It

D Grant: was like... I was downtown Abilene. A really safe park.

That's the whole reason I brought this up. I was in a really, I was in a safe downtown. there's hardly anything that takes place, um, on a like regular afternoon. And I'm about to cross the street and there's this guy standing on the other side of the street that I don't remember what he looks like.

I can't remember what he looked like now, but I remember the way that I felt. I think he had he looked like this kind of thuggish looking dude. And I was 26, 27 years old at like 20 or 30 bucks in my pocket. And I thought, this dude's gonna jump me. I have nothing to base this on. At all. Just, I take a look at this guy's appearance and I make this total judgment call against him, as though he's this, violent person that's going to mug me in the middle of, the day, in the, in public, around, I, that was the level of fear that I was living in, and had been living in My whole adult [00:22:00] life and preteen teenage years anyhow instead of crossing the street like a normal human being would I went 90 degrees This way and made an extra three blocks and I justified it by saying I'll just get more exercise I could use more exercise Well, I get on block two and a half block three and my little internal Jiminy Cricket pops up on my shoulder and it's Hey, you're a grown ass man.

They can't cross the street. How long are you gonna live like this? And I'm like, you're right. And so on my drive home after I got done with whatever I need to get taken care of, on my drive home, I passed this sign that I passed a zillion times before, but I hadn't been paying attention to it. The boxing gym.

And I was like, I'm tired of running. I'm going to join a boxing gym. I'm going to learn how to fight so that I'm not going to be afraid of this crap anymore. I called that gym and the guy that was there, he was just like, yeah, we got some punching bags. You can come hit some bags, whatever. And I'm like, I don't want to hit bags.

I can do that myself. I want somebody to teach me this stuff. So I, this is back when we actually [00:23:00] used the phone book. I looked up the next number in the phone book, Aveline Boxing Club. Talk to coach Edward Revis. Coach Revis was like. Yeah, dude, I promise you, you will not be afraid of anything anymore. And I was like, yes, sir.

He's the only rule is you do what I say. And I said, yes, sir. So I joined Abilene boxing club and I learned how to train and become an amateur boxer. Now I have a zero and zero record, so I'm absolutely perfect. But, in terms of amateur fighting, I never fought anybody. Like in that deal, I sparred with a lot of people.

I sparred with guys that are way bigger than me. I got over my fear really fast. But one of the things that coach told us every day, he told us three things. To be solid, to be first, to be uncommon. And so my initial plan had been to write a three book trilogy about self love using these principles that I learned in amateur boxing of all places.

To be solid was the first one, and so that's where the title came from. Beautiful!

Meredith: So can we expect another [00:24:00] two?

D Grant: The there's a preview for what it was going to be 1st at the end of the solid. I've changed the way that I will be writing those books, but I've changed the way that I'm going to do them.

Be 1st was originally going to be about creating your own opportunities now. It is about putting yourself 1st because. I recognize that this is something that gets frowned a lot on in all of the societies and cultures around the world. As though you putting yourself first is this evil thing that God is going to judge you for.

When actually, that's horse shit. Can I say that? Oh yeah,

Meredith: this is face your shit, heal yourself, come on. Good. With another fucking artist. Yeah, hell yeah.

D Grant: So, I'm just gonna quote some scripture. And I am not a religious person,

I'm a very spiritual person and I have opened my heart and my mind and my spirit up to all of the different ways [00:25:00] that God, which is the all, comes in and experiences us and, but all that to say.

God is in all things, lives in all things, and operates through all things, so there's no place you can go where God is not, which means that if I put myself first, that I am technically putting God first, because God is everywhere, and God is in me. And so it's not sacrilegious, and I'm not doing a disservice or placing myself above anything or anyone by making me first.

That's just the way that it is. If I put other people above me, then I become this codependent, needy, self sacrificing, self loathing, suffering, individual, and I already did that for 38 years, and it sucked. So I'm not doing that shit anymore.

Confidence Cultivation

Meredith: Oh, yeah! Amen, brother. Oh my gosh, that was so Beautifully said.

And on the subject of putting yourself first, [00:26:00] Confidence. Let's chat about it. It's something that's needed for pretty much everything in life to turn out the way we would like. And then of course also linked to success. I know you have a confidence course and we've chatted a lot about it. Could you share a little bit about that and what confidence really is?

D Grant: Great question. So confidence is when you get down to the brass tacks of it, Meredith, confidence is one of the most core foundational elements of what it means to love yourself. Because it is about believing in yourself. It's about seeing your own worth, seeing your own value, embracing that, cherishing that, believing in yourself.

So my, like in the subject of affirmations, the first affirmation that I ever practiced was simple. And now I teach it to all of my students and I've got students. So I teach and coach people in personal development and self [00:27:00] love. Yes. But I also teach, grade school students in the power of storytelling and reading.

Awesome. And when I do that, which I'll be doing that this afternoon, first thing I do to start off every session is we do affirmations and the first affirmation that we do is the first affirmation I did in my own life. It's very simple. I believe in me.

So, here's something I'm sure everybody in your audience knows. The story that you're living, the life that you're living, is a story. If you want to change anything in your life, you just have to look at what story are you telling yourself. I told myself a story for a long time that I didn't believe in me, and I needed other people to believe in me so that maybe I could feel good about myself for 5 seconds, 5 minutes.

And so, chasing validation, chasing acceptance, chasing approval, chasing love, I was essentially chasing confidence, thinking that it came from somebody else. What I didn't realize, and [00:28:00] this is what I teach in my course, you have a lion inside of you. Maybe that seems crazy, Maybe that seems far fetched.

Maybe that seems nuts. I don't care. It's the truth. I didn't think that I had a lion inside of me because I didn't see myself as that. I saw a lion as this tough, big, strong, giant, alpha male dude. And I will tell you this right now. I stand 5'7, weigh 125 pounds. I am a, not even lightweight, I'm a bantamweight, okay?

Lightweight's 135, I'll get there.

I've never been a giant dude. And because I've never been a giant dude, I couldn't see myself as a lion. But here's the interesting thing about lions. Lions are not the biggest creatures. They're not the biggest beasts. There are lots of animals out on the Sahara that are much bigger than lions. It's, they're also not the fastest.[00:29:00]

They're also not the strongest. They're also not the fiercest. They're also like the honey badger fights lions. It doesn't give a shit. It just goes right at them. But they don't call the honey badger the king of beasts, they call the lion the king of beasts. It's not the biggest, it's not the fastest, it's not the strongest, it's not the most powerful.

So what makes it the king? It does. That's confidence. And when I realized that there was a lion inside of me, that all the confidence that I've been looking for and wanting to have was already inside of me, I just needed to give it permission to come out. My whole life changed.

Because I wanted, I'm like, this is the real me. And I can't go anywhere without that lion, like being present. And I want that to be from the heart, the mouth speaks. So this is my heart. Whatever comes out of my mouth comes from that. This is my reminder. So. I've made this whole [00:30:00] course because I know there are other people that are like me.

And I say course, here's the thing. Here's the thing about, I'm going to use different words. I made this whole program. Courses get bought and started and not finished. Yeah. I'm not interested in that. Oh, and here's what I'll say, because we're going to link the course to, to this too. And I'm going to give you guys the exact same thing that I wanted to have when I was first learning this stuff.

I wanted somebody to walk through this process with me so I wasn't doing it all on my own. Because when you don't have confidence in yourself and you don't believe in yourself, hearing somebody tell you, Oh, you need to do this and do this and then everything will get better. Sounds good, but then it also feels impossible and we want so desperately somebody to come alongside us and be like, Hey man, I got you.

So, here's the thing. Hey man, or girl, lady. I got you. Literally, I got you. Join my course. I will walk with you through this. I'm [00:31:00] giving away free coaching to work with you and you learning how to awaken the lion confidence within you, step into your power, and operate from that. Because I want more people to transform their lives and not live in that hell hole that I did for three and a half decades.

Because I didn't believe in myself. Let me give this gift to you. Join the course and you'll get that. Sounds awesome.

Conscious Creation

Meredith: Because you're, it's so true, people start courses in like this hope that I'm gonna believe in myself. Because, and I, and that may be enough, right, to get something going.

But you said something really interesting about Affirmations, I have, I, and I practice affirmations for a long time in there's no right or wrong, but I would say in the wrong way, only because I didn't believe it. And you can't fake energy, [00:32:00] right? You can't lie. And people say fake it till you make it all this stuff.

I guess in a certain material 3d aspect, that's true. But you can't fake energy. You can't, there's no fooling source. So what do you think about when people, cause I know the automatic pushback would be, well, listen, I would love to believe in me, but I don't believe it and saying it, how do I get there?

Is it the belief? you start forming it from the belief, then you start saying it, or you see a little light, or, how would you, advise people that

D Grant: say that? great question. People say the same thing to me. well, I'm not gonna lie to myself. But, dude, you're lying to yourself all the time.

Yeah. Okay? Yes, you're right, you can't fool energy, but you can lie to yourself, and you can convince yourself something that's not true, because if you've been telling yourself that you're unworthy and you're not good enough,

You want to tell yourself a lie that doesn't feel good or a lie that could feel good and could change your life. You get to decide. When I [00:33:00] first started telling myself, I believe in me, I didn't. I decided that I wanted to, because I realized that not believing in me really sucked, and I was tired of living this self defeatist life.

Here's the point, here, this is how I knew that I didn't believe in myself. Not only was I imagining that, some random stranger was gonna randomly jump me when I crossed the street. I would imagine that if I was at a party or a get together with friends, and I had some sort of issue with somebody or they confronted me or I confronted them and we got into some sort of hand to hand, we had to fight each other for some reason, that I would automatically lose because I'm the little guy, the runt, the one that gets beat up.

That was my story. And I would imagine that. And then I would tell myself, wait, but I don't want to experience that. So maybe somebody else will show up and Protect me. Maybe one of my, literally, maybe one of my bigger friends will defend me and Hey, don't [00:34:00] mess with him. He's my friend.

And I had that imagination. And I think a lot of us want other people to fight our battles because we don't believe in ourselves. And so we can tell ourselves, I can't do this. It's never going to work. I can't lie to myself. I don't really believe in myself. I don't really believe that I'm strong and I'm powerful.

I am living fucking testimony to this dynamic power because the person that's communicating with you right now, with the authority and the power that I'm communicating that's coming out of my mouth, from my heart, into your ears, did not exist ten years ago.

When you own your story, And you decide what story you are going to live, and you commit to yourself in telling yourself a new story, even if your mind doesn't believe it.

You're the operant power. You decide what it's going to be. And this is the power of conscious creation. We're all created as conscious creators.

here's what it is. It's not lying. Mm hmm. [00:35:00] You are being an alchemist. Oh, totally. Totally. You're taking something that is one thing and you're converting it into something else. And when you can see that what you're doing, especially if you want to use that as a story prompt for yourself. I'm not lying.

I'm converting something that I don't want into something that I do. Yeah.

Growth Farming Relationships

Meredith: And being truthful in what it is that you actually want and what you don't actually want. And it's all true when you think about the contrast. in order to even really know what you want, you must know what you don't.

So it's all telling you. It's all information. It's not even necessarily negative or positive. It's information just telling you. What it is that you would like because it's just further defining that and the more of the point of view that you have The more that you are going to not only attract followers and friends and positive things But the more you're going to have enemies because it is that contrast [00:36:00] that defines you that what uniquely shapes Vitamin D Grant Smith, or Meredith Ochoa, and it's separate from everything else, even though in reality, we all are connected.

It's, we're experiencing this as separate to remember that we're all connected. So it's just so just absolutely succinctly put in the way that you describe things in the stories you tell. I really wish that I would have known about your work so much earlier in my healing journey. I, there's just, there's so many.

Golden nuggets of value in all the content you create, like your YouTube channel, all that stuff, the stories you tell. There's just so many things that you've said that have really resonated and stood out to me. But one of my favorites that really hits home, pun intended, is The best relationships begin at home, and who's home?

You are. Transforming the [00:37:00] relationship with myself, one of the most powerful things I ever did. It's the foundation of all healing, being authentic, being you, being real, coming home to you. It's the foundation of everything of the entire quality of life that I have, especially even with other people.

So that all being said, our relationship with ourselves being the foundation of everything else. Very few people seem to cultivate that. Could you share your thoughts about self love and then your process in helping others cultivate that in themselves? Yeah,

D Grant: great point. For a long time, I thought that I was looking for home in another person.

Yeah. And, that was after a divorce. and I did find someone that felt like home and still love her with all of my heart. However, she's not my home and I'm not her home. It's never that, it was never meant to be that way.[00:38:00] even finding, finding a true love relationship. What I've learned about that is that person is.

Their purpose is to bring you back to yourself because you are your home. And, and that's been my experience. So, when you want to come home to the truest of true loves, you are your own true love. And the sooner you accepted that, which by the way, Talking about lying to yourself. If you've spent any amount of time in America from 19, I don't know, 10 or 20 to now, you've been indoctrinated, conditioned, programmed to seek and chase after love from someone else and have some sort of fairytale experience.

That was programmed into all of us from beautiful, wonderful Disney movies that I still love. However, the movie ends when they get hitched and none of their [00:39:00] actual relationship dynamics play out. Including how they deal with confrontation, or traumas, or triggers, or any of those other things.

Anyhow! When you realize that the true love that you've been seeking is you this entire time, it changes the nature of the way that you look at love. And at the same time, you're also your own best friend. So this goes back to the putting yourself first thing. we are trained, taught, and conditioned to put.

Other people first, put the love of your life first. Okay, make yourself the love of your life and put the love of your life first. Absolutely. So what I do and what I teach and what I guide people in is this practice that I call growth farming. You've seen, you see my name, D Grant Smith Dashley, growth farmer.

What is this about? So what I believe, and the reason why I have my heart tattooed on my arm with a tree growing out of it is this right here, [00:40:00] heart, It's a garden. This right here, mind, it's a garden. This body, it's also a garden. And your ethereal body, which is your spirit body, which is what we talked about last night in the, VIP meeting for my Growth Farmer farming membership.

Your ethereal body, your energy body, is this dome that surrounds you up to 9 meters wide. Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about this. That's your energy body. That's awesome. Whatever it is that you are planting, and you're doing it with your thoughts, your beliefs, and your feelings, they're all seeds, and some of them have grown into things, and you are cultivating that by repeating these thoughts, beliefs, and feelings.

Some of your thoughts are unconscious, some of your beliefs are unconscious, your feelings are very conscious, and also somewhat unconscious too, because they're attached to the other things. And so [00:41:00] it is our job as conscious creators, And people who are awake and aware to be our own master guard. And so, as you find yourself being triggered by little things, or somebody says something to you that sets you off, or you find yourself being afraid of talking to certain people for certain reasons, or getting really angry and agitated because somebody did something to you, Or find yourself feeling hopelessly, blindingly lost in love unless this person contacts you every day.

Maybe you struggle from anxious attachment. I did. I did. For 40 years. This year has been a big year of me letting go of anxious touch. Am I all the way let go of it? No, but I'm 95 percent better than I was this time last year. It's been hard, but it's been necessary. If that's your thing, you're, you have to realize that's part of your story.

And you also have to realize that's taking [00:42:00] place inside your energy field. You've been feeding that water. You've been giving that energy and it's continuing to grow. You want to kill something, you stop giving it energy. So, just like I shared earlier in that story where the still small voice told me, I didn't know what love really was.

I didn't. The codependency. Not real love. I didn't know what love really was. I didn't know how to give real love to myself. That was the cause of all of my pain. By the way, it's still the journey for me to continue to learn what love really is. Continue to practice giving it to myself. I am a student for the rest of my existence.

I am an expert at nothing. I will never wear that title. I've been on shows that are called ask the experts. And I get put in these boxes where people say you're an expert at relationships. You're an expert at communication. You're an expert at writing. You're an expert at storytelling. You can say I'm an expert at all those things.

That's fine. I'm never going to wear that title. I don't know everything about anything. I'm [00:43:00] a student. I've mastered some things. I'm higher level at some things than I was ever was at other things. And I teach people what I know, but I'm not an expert. I don't know everything. Anyhow. Tangent.

Meredith: The real experts are students.

It's true. But once a master, always a student. Seriously.

D Grant: Yeah. So, I continue to practice and teach how to sow love in my inner garden. The garden of my heart, the garden of my mind, the garden of my energy body, the garden of my physical body. Exercise is a huge part of things. My higher self continually tells me, Hey dude, you need to move around more.

Because energy needs to move. And when I'm feeling out of whack, it's not anybody else's fault. I've had all kinds of moments, even in, at this stage and level of my growth and my awareness, where I've had issues with other people, and for a little while I get pissed off at them because they did something that set me off.

And I've told [00:44:00] myself, I've got to stand in my power At the same time... I have to ho'oponopono this shit, because it's still my responsibility, whatever's happening outside of me is still my responsibility. It's a reflection of something that's going on inside of me that I can't see.

And I've gotta clean, clean, and clear that out by my own conscious decision. To I'm sorry, please forgive me. Thank you. I love you and clean and clear the reflection is it's not the other person It's something that's inside of me that I can't see but all of this stuff is the inner work And this is the inner gardening the gardening of the heart mind body and spirit and this is what I do This is what I teach This is how we come home to ourselves and take care of the inner side of us The part of us that actually matters our consciousness and that's how we transform our lives I call this practice growth farming word.

Meredith: Hope a whole no. That is something that's come up a lot and we chatted about it in the stellar VIP group [00:45:00] you created where guys, these conversations that are taking place that are the conversations that we're having in our head and that we're confused about, but actually having that in a safe space with other people.

I experienced it. it was absolutely awesome. And it was such a really authentic form of connection of not knowing someone, but just through our beingness, being connected. And that is what I felt in that group. so beyond confidence and beyond these conversations about the higher self and all of that stuff, but just the connection, the connectedness you feel with other people, because you are going within from the inside out.

And those conversations foster that. I cannot recommend this VIP group enough and thank you so much for having me on. It was

D Grant: awesome. Well, I wanted you to have the experience. So Meredith became a member of Growth Farming last week and we're so happy [00:46:00] to have you in. but prior to us being able to do this, prior to us doing this, this conversation we're having now, I wanted you to have that experience so you'd have something to reference.

Instead of it being like, this sounds like a really cool thing and people should definitely check it out. It's so I don't, I didn't want you to, I'm very big, like, integrity is one of my highest values. I don't, I'm not going to, if I say it, I do it. If I tell you something, it's the fucking truth, so when people say, well, that sounds really great, but you know, if you really mean that, and I try not to get upset because, okay, you're probably used to people telling you what you want to hear.

I don't tell you what you want to hear. Yeah, I'm a Sagittarius, so I'm very creative. I'm very philosophical. I'm also incredibly encouraging and incredibly empowering, and if you're used to people blowing smoke up your ass, telling you things that you want to hear, that's not me. Alright? All that to say, I w Meredith, I wanted you to have [00:47:00] the experience, so that us having this conversation, it's oh yeah dude, that's the real deal.

Now, unfortunately 5. 30 in the morning. the last part of our meetings is my favorite part. And the favorite part of all of our members, because what we do is, yes, it is a small group and not everybody in the group knows each other super well, but they're built. Everybody's building really strong relationships with each other because in this safe space, we are not only sharing our own personal perspectives and having discussions about the things that I need a discussion on or give a little teaching on like we did last night, but the very last 15 minutes or so, Individually, we speak blessing into each other.

So I assign each person who's going to say what into who, and sometimes it started out this way on purpose. People that had never talked to each other before. How do I speak blessing into somebody that I don't know? And [00:48:00] when we can, when we make a practice out of, you know what, I've never really had a conversation with you before, but in this moment I choose to love you in this moment, I don't know anything about your story other than maybe something you shared earlier, but I just say, I speak blessing of blessings of peace.

And love for you and your family and for more money to come into your bank account and to come into your pocket and for you to find randomly on the street And for you to have experiences today and tonight and tomorrow and the rest of the week that put a smile across your face That your face hurts from smiling so much speaking this and making a practice out of this, not only does it feel good to the person that's receiving it, it feels good from you.

I learned this from Wayne Dyer. Wayne Dyer told a story about a study that was done by Princeton. In Princeton, the university did this research that said that there are three people that benefit from an act of kindness. Now, I'm going to equate an act of kindness into [00:49:00] speaking a blessing into somebody.

Alright. The person giving the blessing or giving the act of kindness, they are benefited from it because they feel good and this is what they prove scientifically, they felt good. Serotonin released in the bloodstream, and their immune system increased. The person giving the blessing, or the act of kindness.

The second person, the person receiving it, got the same benefit. They felt good, and their immune system strengthened. And the third party to benefit from this experience was anybody that witnessed it. So, in our VIP, This is the Harvest Vineyard meetings that we do in the growth farming community. you are experiencing everything plus these weekly group coaching sessions in a safe space, especially geared for people that are like you and I, highly sensitive people, especially in leadership positions, all of our members.

In the VIP group are all highly sensitive and they're all leaders. And we have this safe [00:50:00] container for us to discuss very specific things involving our personal growth and spirituality that you don't get to have these kinds of in depth conversations and discussions. Connection. So as we are witnessing people being blessed back and forth, we feel good.

Our immune system strength as we're receiving same thing as we're giving same thing. So that's my favorite part of. Possibly my favorite part of the whole week. Definitely my favorite part. I love doing that more than I love teaching.

Stop taking yourself so seriously

Meredith: Yeah. And I see why. I see why, honestly. Because it's that, it's like where teaching becomes really like on the court.

Where you're really there. It really is because it's much more intimate. Where it's teach, learn. And, it's a sharing, so I totally understand why you would say that. Real quick, one thing, everyone, [00:51:00] or you would recommend everyone start today, and one thing everyone should stop today, to help them tend the garden, growth farm, build the confidence and self love and cultivate that within themselves.

So

D Grant: two things, really. Well, I've got to pick one thing. That's the deal. So. Yeah.

Meredith: One to start, one to stop.

D Grant: The thing to do. The thing to start. Or continue doing if you're already in a habit of doing. Say I love you more. Say I love you more to yourself especially. Every time you walk by the mirror, I love you.

Any time you screw something up royally, this is how I practice grace, it's been totally healing in my life. And all of my coaching clients, and students, and members of my community, regularly say yeah, well I'm still doing that thing that you told me, DeGrant, it's this, five words, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

It's okay, I love you. Nice.[00:52:00] All the time. Doesn't matter what it is. You totally bombed at something. It's okay. I love you. You got upset and screamed at somebody. It's okay. I love you. You did something that you feel totally ashamed of. Yes, I feel ashamed, but it's okay. I love you. You want to talk about planting and sowing love inside yourself?

Talk about cleaning and clearing guilt, shame, judgment, scorn, bitterness, worry, anxiety? It's okay, I love you does all of that. So,

practice saying I love you. To your friends. You see them, I love you. You see them when you greet them, hey, I love you. You see them when you're going away, hey, I love you. Practice saying I love you. I learned this from practicing Ho'oponopono. And from Joe Vitale and Dr. Hu Lin, who wrote the Zero Limits book.

Which, by the way, fantastic book. And I like Joe Vitale just fine. He's a cool guy. Dr. Hu Lin [00:53:00] is the master of that. He's the, his story was the one that made me want to read that book. Anyhow. What both of them said was really when we want to get to a place where we're not even saying, I'm sorry, please forgive me.

We're just walking around saying, thank you. I love you. And even if we just get to a place where they're saying, I love you, you feel good, oh, but I don't really love all these people, but you can, your heart has the capacity for it. By the way, you are love.

That's what you came from. That's who you are. Embrace that. So that's what I would say to do. And then what not to do. Ah, okay. Another Wayne Dyer teaching. Rule number six. Can I tell a story? Sure. I'm practicing rule number six because as a highly sensitive person and as somebody that's very creative and also somebody that grew up in the south where there's a lot of self judgment, I, I violated rule number six for a very long time.

And I still do sometimes, but I get reminded. Rule number six, dude. [00:54:00] Nice. So here's the story of rule number six. There are two diplomats talking about the affairs of state. And, suddenly, the door bursts open and this woman comes in, violently angry, slamming her hand down on the desk, getting up in the resident diplomat's face and screaming at him and all kinds of things.

And the resident diplomat remains calm and says, Judy, thank you, but please remember rule number six. Instantly, she calms down, takes a breath, pats herself down, apologizes to the visiting diplomat, apologizes to the resident diplomat, bows. The two diplomats go back to talking about the affairs of state. A few minutes later, the door swings open again, and this whole scene plays out a second time with a man.

He's more angry, more violent, more, and just like before, the [00:55:00] resident diplomat says, Mark shies

back, apologizes profusely, and leaves. And after this scene happens for a third time, the resident diplomat says, I gotta know. I've never, I've seen all kinds of things in my day, but I've never seen anything like this. Please tell me what is rule number six. And the resident diplomat says, Oh, it's very simple.

Don't take yourself so goddamn seriously. Wow. that's a very, that's a very impressive rule. Yeah. So the res, the visiting diplomat says, but I'm really curious now, what are the other rules? And the resident diplomat says, Oh, that's the best part. There aren't any. So, if we would stop taking ourselves so goddamn seriously, taking things personally, getting offended by the slightest little [00:56:00] thing, and start and begin a practice of It's okay, I love you.

I believe we would have world peace. I believe there would be no such thing as poverty. I believe there would be no such thing as sickness. I believe there would be no such thing as war. I wrote a book that you can read now, because you're a Growth Farming member, and I encourage everybody to read this book.

We can link it in the description as well. It's called The Saturn of Utopia. It is a, short fiction novel, but the whole premise of the story is this scientist finds a portal Out into another galaxy, into another world. And the, he finds this world because it emits an energy frequency that resonates with peace and abundance.

And he says, or thinks to himself, if the whole planet is resonating at a Hertz frequency, that is peaceful and abundant. That means they don't have war. They don't have poverty. They don't have sickness. They don't have the problems that planet earth does. I've got to go find out what their secret is. So he journeys to this [00:57:00] planet.

To figure out what their secret is, and what he discovers is, the more that he looks for a secret to problems, or solving problems, the more lost and paralyzed he is. And what he actually has to do is get out of that energy altogether. And when he realizes that he has access of being able to get out of that energy altogether at any time, he just needs to practice that.

So that's actually the key to transforming the world. That's what he brings back. And I believe that us as individual conscious creators, us as pieces of God, if we all embodied this grace for ourselves and grace for other people, and we stop taking everything so seriously and stop getting so personally offended by every little thing, our world would literally transform overnight.

Meredith: It absolutely would. And I definitely resonate. [00:58:00] I mean... Another fucking artist. Okay, I totally get it. I totally get it. Not to say, don't love yourself and have confidence and all of that. But it's both. It's, you're able to recognize that you are God, right? But you're also able to recognize, so is everyone else.

So, it's holding both of those polarities.

And it's such an amazing story. I love that story that you told. And it reminds me a lot of actually an art piece I did. it's one of my favorite pieces. It's part of the Every Phase series. And how I yield myself, it's called Over the Rainbow. And there was a haiku that went with it. Because it's like me coming out of essentially my own womb.

There's a staircase there. but it says, Over the Rainbow, I searched for the answers, and I found a mirror. And I think, it's, when you were telling that story, that piece was just like, so in my head, [00:59:00] especially thinking of Saturn and... rings of Saturn and the way that the piece actually aesthetically looks.

So it was awesome. Thanks for sharing that.Speaking of art pieces, it is now time for our finale biohacking with art question. Are you ready?

D Grant: Oh, fire away.

Meredith: Might have to take some vitamin D. Ooh,

D Grant: I'll take some tea. it's, so it's sweater weather, as they say, on SNL, and it's hot tea weather.

And I'm, it's the one thing about the temperature changing that I actually can get behind. Because I don't like cold weather. I do like tea.

Biohacking with Art

Meredith: Cheers. Cheers to that. On that note, if you could describe growth farming with any art medium, how would you make it and what would you choose?

Yeah.

D Grant: I'm [01:00:00] going all over the place. So it would be a combination of the most epic, amazing concert featuring

Badass drummers, my favorite badass drummers and guitarists. It would be okay. Yeah This is what it would be two drummers. Okay three bass players two guitarists Instead of three and two singers With a horn section it'd be like dave matthews band on steroids And Carter Beauford, Dave Matthews drummer, would be one of the drummers.

The other drummer would be this guy from Spain named L. S. the Barrio, He is the

most insane. He's a machine. He's a god. we're all gods, but literally, he is look him up on YouTube. You don't even have to know shit about drumming. I'm a drummer, so I, the things that this guy does is insane. Anyhow, it would be that, plus...[01:01:00] choreographed dance routines like Cirque de Soleil, but done with Kung Fu, that would look like some sort of Bruce Lee, Tony Jaa,

Donnie Yen, plus boxing, plus gymnastics, plus something like a David Blaine magic show, plus

storytelling, plus visual art taking place all around in three dimensional colors, and yeah, this is quickly turning into some sort of David Bowie fantasy, It could be

Meredith: like, it sounds almost like a musical, like you would experience it in different stages and there's different songs for different sections that you're visiting, so you're like, My art piece would literally be this musical or this performative

D Grant: experience.

It would be a very immersive experience where you get inserted into a whole universe and experience the birth of the world and [01:02:00] all the different pieces of it and the growth of it. And, there'd be parts of it that would be musical, there'd be parts of it that would be storytelling, there'd be parts of it that would be movement and fluidity.

Yeah. There would be parts of it that are very action packed. but it would be something that you are participating in instead of just viewing. Yeah.

Meredith: Wow. Love that.

Living the art. It's something that I practice every day. And we are. We are all living in the art piece. All the world's a stage if you hadn't caught on by now, you will, as but we are making our piece every single day.

It has just been so real chatting with you today. And that's even an understatement to say that. I've so thoroughly enjoyed it. Tell us where people can find you and learn more about your work.

D Grant: Well, I wrote something close to 45 [01:03:00] stories last year, 2022. and I've been slowly publishing them as short fiction novels.

and I've continued to write other stuff. I wrote a book about self concept, which is your story, your life story, how to change that. and recently, actually this past Sunday, I wrote and published a brand new book that is totally free, all about confidence. You talked about confidence.

This is a way to get like a preview for what's inside my, program. It's called Unleash Your Inner Lion, Awaken Your Power and Confidence. But, this is a preview for that, and I break down six of the core fears that us as highly sensitive people deal with.

And, we face, and then I use actual real life stories from people that I have worked with and helping them overcome these fears to illustrate how, what the fear looks like, the damage that it does and how to overcome it. And all of this stuff is available at growthfarming. com. Go get the confidence book by going there and clicking on free resources.

And so it's [01:04:00] the first thing at the top. But if you want to learn with me, by the way, not from me, with me, you want to learn with me, grow with me, become a member. Membership is 25 bucks a month and you get access to everything. So it's... Thousands of dollars of the stuff for a fraction of that cost because money shouldn't be something that keeps you from having the opportunity to really grow love within yourself and transform your life.

You want to take that to the next step and go even higher and come in and be a part of our community that Meredith and I talked about a few minutes ago. Yeah. Come in and be a Harvest Vineyard member. That's in the membership section too. If, and if you want to work with me one on one, I've got coaching options available there as well.

Meredith: Sweet, and you're right. So worth it. I so enjoyed it. It's awesome, and I'll continue to enjoy over the course of the membership. We will absolutely link to that in the show notes and all these resources we chatted about today and more to help everyone go out, [01:05:00] face their shit, therefore healing themselves.

And remember as always, the truth will set you free. We will see you all next time. Bye!

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YouTube or on Apple Podcast and pick up a signed copy of my book about how I healed myself from endometriosis on my Instagram at Meredith w Ochoa. Thank you so much for listening and for having the bravery to face your shit and heal yourself.