What If Justification Is The Trap

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Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Essential Mental Healing, where I am your host, Candace Patrice.
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And joining me today is my lovely mommy, Janet Hale.
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Mommy.
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Mother, mama.
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Hello, hello, hello.
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It is the two of us today, guys.
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So welcome to the room with us.
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And we we had actually started having a conversation prior to hitting record.
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And I was sharing some things with my mother.
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So first we're gonna do a check-in as we always do, and then we're gonna get into some things that I personally am struggling with, um, or just identifying.
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So let's walk through it together, guys.
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Let's let's do this thing.
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So jumping in with mom, how's your week?
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It was peek this oh, the week, the whole week.
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The whole week.
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Two weeks technically.
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Yeah.
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Okay, that's a lot.
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The last week was um a very good week.
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I had a good week.
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It was productive.
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Um I've been really into fellowshipping with people and making connections with people, and I like that because as you know, I like to be by myself in my little world, and um, so that felt good to me.
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So that was a big, big win for me.
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Any highlights?
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There are a few.
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Ooh.
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There are a few.
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Let's do one or two.
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Well, let's just do your thing and then we'll come back when we discuss.
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Because you know, I can take up the whole show.
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Um okay.
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Wait, how I'm doing, you're saying to chill?
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Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
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Last two, you know, the last two weeks, I will say this.
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I've been putting some really good food in my body the last two weeks.
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Um, I've been caffeine free, and I have had an excellent amount of energy.
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I'm like, where do all this energy come from?
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Where I thought I needed coffee and I didn't.
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So I've been having like herbal teas, water, um fruits.
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I'm I'm really stuck on this apples and peanut butter right now.
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Like on a regular basis.
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I love me some apples and peanut butter.
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Um and I've been doing the natural peanut butters, so just peanuts and salt, or peanuts and no salt.
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I know, right?
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I can't believe it.
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And I have found one or two brands, because I've tried like four or five different brands that are really good.
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They have this creamy consistency.
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So I didn't I tried a natural peanut butter in the past, it didn't really hit.
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It was like thick and ugh.
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I was like, where's the gif?
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With all the sugar and things.
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But then I don't know if it's just another time they're making the more brands are making the natural peanut butter.
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So there's like a thick oil at the top.
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Once you stir it in, you put it in the refrigerator upside down and it keeps it creamy.
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So there's like one or two that has this really nice creamy consistency and flavor.
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I'm like, how y'all just putting peanuts in?
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And I guess the salt makes a little bit of a difference with the non-salt.
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Because when it's non-salted, I can it's not as great, but when it's salted, I'm like, ooh, I almost thought this was Jeff.
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Y'all tricked me and I'ma stick with it.
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So I like that.
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Changing the peanut butter over.
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I made uh vegetarian chili.
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That was really good.
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Oh, it was so good.
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That was really good.
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So what'd you put in it?
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Um black beans, it was a zesty pinto bean, um, roteo dip, because it has the put the tomatoes and the peppers in it.
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Um, onions.
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Mushroom did I put mushrooms in it?
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I don't remember.
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I think I might have missed the mushroom on this one, but I will when I do it again.
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Onions, corn, and then seasoned it up real nice.
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It was so good.
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It was so good.
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I know for me, uh I'm starting to eat more whole food, because you know, being vegan is great, but being vegan, we still can mess some stuff up, and so I was really into the vegan ice cream.
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Oh, yeah, you were telling me about that.
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And the bag of chips that's cooked in olive um avocado oil, because that makes it healthy.
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Right, right, right.
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And um, and I'm just getting down.
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I said, whoa, I feel like I'm sure it's about 10 pounds.
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And of course, you know, I don't bel I don't for me get caught up in a diet.
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Right?
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And so, and then I started um feeling the inflammation in my body.
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And I was like, You started feeling it when?
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Um, well, uh back, but I mean when I started getting into who I need to change.
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Oh, you're saying before, okay.
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Not while you're gonna be able to do it.
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No, oh no, no, no, no.
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I'm saying when I'm getting on this vegan junk food.
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Oh when I go on that train, because I get on the train, y'all.
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So when I get on that train, right?
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And um, and I said, Oh, what am I?
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And then I go to thinking what to do, what to do, what to do.
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And then what comes to me is Janet, eat whole food.
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Yeah.
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It's that simple.
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Like, we just not complicated.
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Life is not complicated, really.
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And so that's what I've been doing.
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Just 99.9% of my eating is um whole food.
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Okay, so I can feel the inflammation leaving.
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What?
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I can feel it.
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I think this is great to have the conversation about because when you hear vegan, you just automatically associate vegan with healthy, like immediately, right?
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Because it's like you don't have any of the bad stuff because it's vegan.
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No.
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But more things, uh, because I remember you so Friday, last Friday, we went to Zorball's.
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Yes.
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And I looked at the vegan dairy stuff, and you were like, it's all still processed.
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And I was like, immediately it made my brain kind of realize that I mean, just because it's vegan, it can still be processed.
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I guess, you know.
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Uh and even in go ahead.
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Even in my eating junk food periods, that section I stay away from.
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Then we gotta have some standards, right?
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That's so funny.
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That's but I did look up like a um, because if something I had made me want lasagna.
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But then I was like, well, how can I have a vegan lasagna, right?
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Well, I know people do it.
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So I looked up ricotta cheese because that's one of the things that makes lasagna real good.
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But I licked a vegan ricotta cheese.
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Um I know cashews is the base.
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Yes.
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And so when I was looking at the ingredients of some of them, then I was like, okay, there are some things.
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You just have to check the ingredients and make sure they don't have the other processed things in them.
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Or make it yourself.
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Yeah, I don't have no food processor, it's not happening.
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I know, man.
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Especially cashews and creaminess, because I tried to make a um sour cream like a year ago from cashews.
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But because I only had the bullet, it didn't blend and get as great as it probably would have a food processor.
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But I could see how it could be.
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I was able to see how it could be.
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Yeah.
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So yeah.
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Um, the making it yourself thing is slow and steady.
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Yeah, when you're talking about things like that.
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Yeah.
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Because they that looks really good when they're um making cheese and and they're doing with cash, it's just not of any other chemical.
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Everything they're making it with, you can read it and understand what it is.
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Now, in um in um Detroit, you know, I know people are listening all over the world.
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Um, there's a vegan spot, and I noticed that a lot of the vegan spots have highly processed foods, and I'm a little disappointed.
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You know, I know I know I go to the books.
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So the restaurants or like the grocery stores?
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Okay.
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No.
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Well, you know where I go.
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That's true.
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They're good, they're great.
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Um, but I, you know, I say, oh, when I really want something, let's say that I have a taste for a burger, and I can go there and get the burger, the veggie, I mean the vegan burger with the vegan cheese and the the bread and um and it's and I know when I'm eating it, it's so processing, but it's so damn.
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Oh my god.
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But I think about how when we're putting restaurants in the area, it's the fast food version.
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Yeah.
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And why can it not be a fine dining or mid-dining or you know, that kind of thing?
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Like um uh we'll name a local Olive Garden.
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I'll just say something like that.
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Where they have foods that are well, no, they they really don't, but anyway, uh, but it's a lot of fast food when it comes in our areas.
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It's you know, if we have a vegan spot, you know, you can get vegan fries, and when I get those fries, I say this is not the oil it should be fried in.
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I know it's not.
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Vegan fries.
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I know they're not using it.
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Oh, because of the vegan fries are.
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I was gonna say, when you say that's the oil.
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I got you.
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It's the oil.
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It's the oil.
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So you're using, I'm sure, regular oil.
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You're not using avocado oil, it's too expensive.
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Well, I don't think you are, I doubt it.
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Um, so I think about those things when I'm on my benches.
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Yeah.
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So now I'm on eating healthier, and that is Whole Foods.
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Anna's house is good.
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I wanted to take you there for lunch.
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When?
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For your birthday.
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Oh, okay, let's do it.
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I'm ready.
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I'm excited.
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I think I was thinking about your birthday, and I was like, what do we do?
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What can we do?
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And with you, time.
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It's time.
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Time.
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Like, I get what we okay, time, but I gotta have time doing something she likes to do.
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And I know you well, you like that restaurant.
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I do, I like it a lot, and I think they have good food.
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I think their fool is whole.
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Um, um, yeah, it's better, but they got a lot of processed stuff there too.
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Well, my dish ain't.
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Yeah, once you see, you can't unsee.
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Well, the dish that I get, I get the um vegan chipotle ball.
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Now I'll say the probably the only thing in that dish that is probably questionable is what the meat.
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The invitation meat.
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That's the only one.
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But it's got um potatoes, I put mushrooms in it, um, onions, peppers, uh tomatoes, and a vegan cheese that's not that's not processed.
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Because I said it's not.
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I just it's so good.
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It's so good.
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I actually took myself yesterday.
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To uh Anna?
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Yes, to get me is it Anna or Hannah to get that dish.
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Okay, so good.
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Well, don't go too many times for your birthday because I don't want you to get them.
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That was it.
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I don't want I didn't have this mama.
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Actually, you know what I did do?
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I actually read the menu, like all the stuff on it.
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So I have two or three things I'm actually interested in trying that I have not, and I couldn't bring myself to not get what I like.
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So there's that.
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They make some of the some good, I know this is not whatever, but they're uh vegan pancakes at the list.
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I did see that on the menu, so I'm gonna have to explore that for sure.
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And they will give you the pure maple syrup, but you have to ask you the other stuff.
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There we go.
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Now that I know it exists, though, because I was looking at again some of the things that were on the list, and I was like, I didn't even know they had this.
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If you look at the sides, some of those sides are like, okay, cool.
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Let me throw this in.
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So uh, even like some of the bread, you know, they asked you about toast.
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I didn't know they had a cinnamon bread.
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I'm going to get me a piece one day.
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It wasn't yesterday, but I will get me a piece.
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Um, but with all of that said, I do want us to jump into our actual topic today, which is about forgiveness before the offense, letting go of the need to be right or justified.
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Okay, so this topic for me is actually something I need because I don't know.
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As of right now, I'm finding a need to be right, to be justified, to show things.
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I was sharing with you earlier about what happened at the gym of my apartment complex.
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Um, and I'll share with the guest as well what happened.
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So we were at the gym, it was me and my daughter, which is connected to the lobby of the main office.
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Lobby hours are like from 10 to 5 or something like that.
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So we were here, I want to say it was about four o'clock.
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So I go in, I do 10 minutes every day for consistency because that's what I decided I was gonna do for 2026.
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Uh, so at some point while I was on the elliptical, maybe about five minutes, five minutes in, maybe, umari wanted to go to the other side.
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So there's a glass door and it's locked.
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Now they leave the door locked because what I was told is that people forget to lock it back when the office is closed.
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So we have access from an outside door to get into the gym, but there's another door to get to the main office, too.
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So Kamari knocks on the door.
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Nobody came.
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She knocks a second time.
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The lady comes to the door, and the first thing she says is, Can you not knock on the door?
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We have meetings.
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And Kamari goes, Oh, I'm sorry.
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And she's looking at me, then she looks at Kamari and she goes, Oh no, it's okay, sweetheart.
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She proceeds to let her in.
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Now I'm fuming at this point because of the way in which she came with the can you not knock on the door?
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Now I'm sure her intent may not have been, I don't know what it was.
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Girl, I'm saying, I'm sure that is story.
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I'm sure I'm gonna give benefits of doubts, but I was still upset.
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And so um she came in, Kamari came back in, had a bag of chips, and they came back and they locked the door.
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Kamari goes, Well, that was rude.
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And so um at this point, I got about three more minutes left on elliptical, but I'm upset, so I decided I'm gonna go have a conversation with the lady and let her know how things made me feel, how I made Kamari feel.
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Because she said it made her want to cry the way she said it the first time.
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Um and so I found myself wanting to be right about the things.
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One, the gym is supposed to be accessible from the inside to the outside from the lobby.
00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:42.159
The only reason it's not open is because of someone not doing what they're supposed to do.
00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:50.000
Um and then thirdly, how you just not gonna speak first and just come straight at don't knock at the door with that snappy, snarky self.
00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:50.960
I ain't like it.
00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:56.399
Oh, and then, yeah, and then hit me with the when I did come to talk to her.
00:16:56.799 --> 00:16:57.679
I'm sorry.
00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:00.799
Um, that that that's not the way I said that.
00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:03.519
I said you can run them cameras back if you like.
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:05.359
She said, Oh, yeah, there are cameras.
00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:06.400
I said, I know.
00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:14.000
Now run it back so you can see exactly how you said something, um, how it came off.
00:17:15.039 --> 00:17:15.920
So she goes.
00:17:16.079 --> 00:17:16.960
So we talk a little bit.
00:17:17.119 --> 00:17:27.200
Kamari says how she feels, because Kamari had to come in with me for some reason, because I ain't want her with me, but here we are, because my emotions wouldn't let me pause long enough to come back a little bit later.
00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:30.240
I was like, this has to be said today, right now, so nobody forgets.
00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:32.319
I don't want her to forget how she said it.
00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:33.599
That's me again.
00:17:33.759 --> 00:17:35.279
I'm feeling the need to be right.
00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:37.839
I'm feeling the need, I feel justified.
00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:47.519
So even then, when she's oh, I'm sorry, no, that I'm sorry you and she's giving me that nod, like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:54.160
Y'all, as much as I love God and I know the right thing to do, I wanted to slap her.
00:17:54.240 --> 00:17:59.599
I will be honest, my my my body didn't feel good, it only felt anger.
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:04.000
And then she goes, Well, how about I have the manager give you a call?
00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:05.599
I said, I think we resolved this.
00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:07.440
No, your feelings are valid.
00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:09.759
I'm gonna have her give you a call.
00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:11.599
Yeah.
00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:15.599
She did the candice on candy.
00:18:18.400 --> 00:18:20.799
Yep, and I, you know what I said to her?
00:18:21.519 --> 00:18:22.640
I said, you know what?
00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:24.960
Yes, please have the manager give me a call.
00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:26.000
I have no problem with that.
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:27.599
Here's where she fucked up.
00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:29.440
Yeah, I said, fucked up.
00:18:29.680 --> 00:18:33.279
So the week before, I needed to have maintenance come in.
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:35.680
Too bad they don't see me.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:37.519
I had to have maintenance come in.
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:42.160
So she took the order request and she says, I said, is it possible for them to come on a Friday?
00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:44.400
She goes, Well, we only do appointments on a Thursday.
00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:48.559
Now, I don't let maintenance enter my house unless I'm here because of something that happened a while ago.
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:50.000
They entered our homes at 8 p.m.
00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:54.559
at night without the notice, and then was like, oops, no, wasn't cool.
00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:56.480
Neighbors had eight kids at home alone.
00:18:56.559 --> 00:18:57.039
That's not cool.
00:18:57.119 --> 00:18:57.759
They couldn't do that.
00:18:57.839 --> 00:18:58.400
We ain't like it.
00:18:58.480 --> 00:18:59.200
We was pissed.
00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:01.680
So no one's allowed to enter my home unless I'm here.
00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:04.240
So it goes, well, we only do appointments on Thursdays.
00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:14.079
And they have this time block from like um 10 to 12 or 9 to 12, 9 to 1, something like that, and then 1 to 5 or 12 to 5.
00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:17.440
Well, I told her I wouldn't, I, you know, I could get here about four because she put that request.
00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:19.920
We can't bend the rules for anyone.
00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:23.680
I said, All right, then I'll do my best to be here.
00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:28.720
Meanwhile, this day that I'm telling you about with the gym was on a Thursday, the day I had an appointment, because I took that appointment.
00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:29.839
And guess who didn't come?
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:30.319
No one.
00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:35.599
So I had to go back to the office after this and say, I just wanted to make sure that maintenance was coming because I have an appointment today.
00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:37.680
They were here in five minutes.
00:19:39.039 --> 00:19:41.680
I felt real right and justified in that little part.
00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:45.519
And I have not spoken to the manager, nor did she give me a call.
00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:47.359
But this is what happened.
00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:51.759
So I am struggling with this need to be right and justified with my feelings.
00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:54.559
And y'all know I don't like feelings, but they made me feel.
00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:58.000
What you got to say, mommy?
00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:10.640
I don't know if I should be happy that you had this experience.
00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:12.720
You can be.
00:20:13.279 --> 00:20:17.839
Or want to go fight these people for you.
00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:20.240
You know, I feel like you might want to come fight the school.
00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:20.960
I'm conflicted.
00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:23.440
Because I got a meeting on Monday if you want to hear about that.
00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:25.039
You want to jump into grandma mode?
00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:27.359
Oh, you know, I well, okay.
00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:28.240
What meeting?
00:20:28.319 --> 00:20:28.480
What?
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:28.960
Okay, anyway.
00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:29.279
See?
00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:29.839
Tell me this.
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:31.519
Because I got a what?
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:33.680
Listen, what's going on?
00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:36.720
I got I'm getting rules and things at the school as they come up.
00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:41.440
I ain't never seen a syllabus with none of these rules, and I'm feeling like people picking on my little child, okay?
00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:45.680
The little girl in her class that, yeah, the teachers just be like, anything commercial, dude.
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:46.880
She just gets in trouble.
00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:48.079
It doesn't matter.
00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:51.200
Anybody could be doing it, but if she does it, she's in trouble.
00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:53.440
I said.
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:55.359
Wait, you heard that with your own ears?
00:20:55.680 --> 00:21:01.200
Yes, from a kid who was just speaking because she wasn't, there was no prompting.
00:21:01.279 --> 00:21:01.920
We didn't ask.
00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:03.759
It was just, she was talking about the school.
00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:07.279
I said, if this is coming from another kid in her class, then it's got to be.
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:08.160
This is not all about much.
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:13.440
And the mother telling me about the things that the policies are different for her than they are for me.
00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:15.680
I'm like, what is happening here?
00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:18.400
We're gonna have to justify some stuff.
00:21:18.480 --> 00:21:21.920
Somebody's gonna have to make it make sense to me because it ain't making sense.
00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:24.319
I need to see things in black and white.
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:34.480
Show me the handbook, show me the syllabus, because these things we should have gotten, whatever this requirement is for turning something in, whatever this disciplinary action is that you guys go off of.
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:35.680
I need answers.
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:39.920
Y'all, this pod this episode right here is about my feelings.
00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:42.720
Yeah, let's let this be.
00:21:48.079 --> 00:21:53.039
But here's the thing I I I'm identifying my feelings, I'm putting the things in place.
00:21:53.440 --> 00:21:59.440
Um, and I'm sitting with them here and with you so that when I do enter this place with the people.
00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:06.799
I would have done all of this work already so that I can come from a level headed place.
00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:09.759
Because today is not the day.
00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:12.559
But by Monday, when is the meeting at 10?
00:22:12.799 --> 00:22:13.519
Monday at 10.
00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:15.680
I got a little time to decompress.
00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:20.640
And you said I can come.
00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:21.759
I don't know.
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:22.559
Maybe not.
00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:25.200
Okay.
00:22:25.759 --> 00:22:30.160
I need to know ahead of time because I need to schedule some things around my day.
00:22:32.079 --> 00:22:34.559
So, how do you feel about the right?
00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:36.720
The need to be right or justified?
00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:38.799
What's your experience in this?
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:41.759
I have many, but um.
00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:47.440
And let me lead in with this.
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:50.559
I remember Oprah saying, Do you want to be right or you want to be happy?
00:22:50.720 --> 00:22:52.000
All right, let's go.
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:58.240
Yeah, I used to think that too, but I I don't quite see it that way anymore.
00:22:58.400 --> 00:22:58.640
Okay.
00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:04.960
Because, you know, sometimes you're still not happy, whether you're right or wrong.
00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:08.960
But um the need to be right.
00:23:09.599 --> 00:23:18.400
What I've learned about the need to be right, Candace, is sometimes I'm right anyway, and I'm just not gonna tell you.
00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:20.079
I'm not.
00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:24.640
I'm gonna be like, I know that I'm right, but is the battle worth it?
00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:25.440
I know.
00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:27.200
Sometimes that's it for me.
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:28.640
Is the battle worth it?
00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:33.599
Now there are times that I look at things a different way and go, oh, okay, well, you know, all right, I give it to you.
00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:35.119
I look at it a different way.
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:44.720
But there are times that I'm like, nope, I'm correcting this, but uh, do I need to battle for you to see it my way?
00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:45.519
Mmm.
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:50.720
And that's where the challenge comes in and my maturity.
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:52.640
Yeah.
00:23:57.200 --> 00:23:58.240
I don't know.
00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:00.079
The battle.
00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:01.599
Yes.
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:17.519
I feel like I I feel right, I feel justified, and I I started just with trying to prove to say my point, and I feel like I've entered a battle.
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:22.799
And now I'm here.
00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:30.559
And the battle's gotta be, it's got the the war has to be played, the game, you know, the things have to happen now.
00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:36.160
Um I just don't know what I'm coming to battle with.
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:40.799
Am I bringing the guns or am I bringing a rock like Goliath, uh like David and Goliath?
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:49.039
You said something we were talking, I don't know if you did this, said it on the podcast, but you said your opinion is direction.
00:24:49.279 --> 00:24:50.319
What was that you said?
00:24:50.559 --> 00:24:53.440
My that was on Instagram.
00:24:53.599 --> 00:24:54.319
It was a question.
00:24:54.559 --> 00:24:56.720
But you discussed it first.
00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:58.079
We did discuss it?
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:01.039
Because when I saw it, I said, Oh, she put it on there.
00:25:01.759 --> 00:25:03.839
You and I but go ahead, tell me what it is.
00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:08.319
I think it's my my opinion is someone's direction or something.
00:25:08.400 --> 00:25:09.039
Let me see.
00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:14.240
Um my opinion is a direction.
00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:14.880
Yeah.
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:17.119
Yes, yes, just that simple.
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:17.839
Yeah.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:28.000
And so when you talk about, you know, I've got to say it, and it becomes the battle, I'm learning to catch myself with that one.
00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:28.559
Yep.
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:35.680
Because it can become once I said what I said, now now I'm in the now, it's my job to convince you.
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:38.400
I find that to be the case with me sometimes.
00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:44.400
I just told you, now you need to really get on board right now with me.
00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:50.559
And if it takes 20 minutes to an hour for me to convince you, see, there's the battle.
00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:51.359
Yes.
00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:55.920
Great thing that I learned when uh reading the Eighth Habit.
00:25:56.240 --> 00:26:01.279
Uh Stephen Covey talks about um, oh God.
00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:05.839
Um, I don't remember.
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:08.880
Oh my god, just that quick, such a fleeting thought.
00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:11.519
I don't remember.
00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:12.960
Oh my goodness.
00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:21.920
Yeah, so you know, um that whole thing about the to to be right or to be happy or and all that.
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:24.319
Nah, something I remember.
00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:25.039
Sorry, yes.
00:26:25.279 --> 00:26:25.680
Come on.
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:41.440
Um, when you're the process of understanding is to listen until you can relay what the other person is trying to convey to their satisfaction.
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:52.079
I think that was the key point that was in when we talk about communication, and it's like, well, I heard what you said, and it's like you're explaining some parts of it, but it's not to the full satisfaction of understanding.
00:26:52.240 --> 00:27:02.400
You're not supposed to defend or talk about any of your parts, it's literally just hearing and understanding it from their perspective to their satisfactory.
00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:08.559
And I think that doing it that way isn't saying I have to convince you.
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:14.079
It's just I want to make sure you completely understand where I'm at with it.
00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:24.799
And what happens, at least based off of um his research and his teachings, what happens is that once two people come to a full understanding, the solution is already there.
00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:26.000
Okay.
00:27:26.559 --> 00:27:27.680
So I was I like that.
00:27:27.759 --> 00:27:39.359
I and I can see because even looking back at certain things where I've had to do that and getting to that end conclusion, is like, oh, so this really isn't a battle at all.
00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:43.759
This was just a misunderstanding sometimes or a lack of interpretation.
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:46.960
So, yeah, that's okay.
00:27:47.359 --> 00:27:54.400
So, so that whole me needing to be right thing, that's that shit left my left me a it's leaving.
00:27:54.720 --> 00:27:59.519
Um, I think I'm 99% okay with it.
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:02.400
Every now and well, I'm not cuz that's too much.
00:28:02.559 --> 00:28:04.319
I think I'm maybe 80%.
00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:07.119
I'm gonna that's the honest assessment of it.
00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:14.960
Because um I know for me, and even when you talked about um their understanding and all that, sometimes I'm not even into that.
00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:21.200
I'm like, I still want you to understand what I'm saying, you know, and then that would be the end.
00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:22.160
Oh, wait.
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:24.720
Would they understand from your perspective?
00:28:25.119 --> 00:28:26.400
Right, like I understand from theirs?
00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:31.759
Yeah, okay, now you said, okay, I get what you're saying, but what I'm saying you know, I have to watch that.
00:28:31.839 --> 00:28:32.880
That's all I'm saying.
00:28:33.039 --> 00:28:34.799
You know, I need to watch that.
00:28:35.039 --> 00:28:41.759
Now I would say I have been, I've been able to practice more, not the not the need to be right.
00:28:43.279 --> 00:29:02.079
But I think in this situation, not even the apartment one, but um dealing with school situations in Camary, I feel like the stakes are too high not to speak my piece, not to put the right or justification in place.
00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:05.279
So, oh, this is yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:06.160
Come on, come on, come on.
00:29:06.319 --> 00:29:07.359
So, okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:12.319
So with that, uh well, you know, I'm biased and I'm gonna say that up front.
00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:16.160
It is Kamari and it is the school, and they're you know, they're not right.
00:29:16.319 --> 00:29:28.240
And so, but I think about when you talk about the stakes being high with her and the whether you're right and all that you're doing.
00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:32.480
You are right because you're the mother.
00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:37.279
And she's being challenged, and you're being challenged.
00:29:38.400 --> 00:29:43.279
And in my head, the best thing is to remove her from that place.
00:29:44.079 --> 00:29:45.599
But that's not, you know what I mean?
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:48.160
Like we have to look at so many variables.
00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:49.519
We're working, right?
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:50.720
What you're working with.
00:29:50.799 --> 00:29:54.079
It's like, ugh, you know, what do we do with that?
00:29:54.240 --> 00:30:02.559
And when children are in school and all the things that come with it, and you know, we used to call it the short yellow bus, you know.
00:30:02.799 --> 00:30:07.519
Um, we used to call all things, you know, we put a label on things.
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:20.799
And I feel like with children, they were labeled so quickly without a clear understanding of who they are.
00:30:21.839 --> 00:30:22.400
Right?
00:30:22.720 --> 00:30:23.599
What are you doing?
00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:30.240
And so um the uh the stakes are high, but I don't know that you can change it.
00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:39.039
You know, I think about even if you change a situation, you still don't know if the next option is going to be the best.
00:30:39.200 --> 00:30:39.599
That's true.
00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:46.640
Like at the end of the day, it's it's being winged and it we're living it with the intent to make the best decision.
00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:56.960
Kamari needs to go to a hippie school with the wild grass, wildflowers.
00:30:57.200 --> 00:30:57.839
Yes.
00:30:58.480 --> 00:31:04.559
Um, and I think not just Kamari, I think most children should be able to learn in that environment.
00:31:04.799 --> 00:31:05.920
That's what I think.
00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:07.279
But am I right?
00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:08.240
There you go.
00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:09.039
Right?
00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:10.240
Right?
00:31:10.400 --> 00:31:11.119
It's the shit.
00:31:12.160 --> 00:31:21.200
You know, I I've realized I also like, I think I stop saying a lot of right and just say, I think I told you to share this before on the last podcast.
00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:25.839
Instead of saying whether someone is right or not, whether, like, but you're not wrong.
00:31:26.079 --> 00:31:29.839
Like it may not be right in my book, but you're not wrong.
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:34.079
Yeah, I think I think sometimes we're arrogant with that shit.
00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:35.759
Well, you might be right, you might be wrong.
00:31:35.839 --> 00:31:43.759
Whoa, we just say what that's why I say, like, yeah, I can't say that unless it's two plus two equals four, I can't really tell you you're wrong.
00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:49.440
Because your opinion matters and you have feelings, and all of those variables led to get you to the conclusion.
00:31:49.599 --> 00:31:50.079
Well, here we go.
00:31:50.240 --> 00:31:53.359
It may not be wrong, just not my conclusion.
00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:55.440
Oh, she's so logical.
00:31:55.599 --> 00:31:56.799
I just can't.
00:31:56.960 --> 00:32:01.759
I can't right though.
00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:04.559
Right, though.
00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:05.200
Right?
00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:06.720
I just caught that.
00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:08.640
Oh, I just caught that.
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:10.079
That wasn't even intentional.
00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:11.359
Yeah, yeah.
00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:13.359
We're on the subject and it's coming up.
00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:14.559
Exactly.
00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:19.119
But this is, I think, something we have to kind of be conscious of.
00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:22.319
Our what whose definition of right is right?
00:32:23.200 --> 00:32:24.799
Yeah, it gets real hairy.
00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:26.319
Unless it's math.
00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:27.680
Yeah, I know.
00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:28.880
I can tell you what's right.
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:30.480
You love that math, though, don't you?
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:31.680
And guess what?
00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:33.599
There are multiple ways to get to an answer.
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:37.839
So just because they didn't show the work the way you wanted them to, don't mean it's wrong.
00:32:38.960 --> 00:32:39.279
Okay.
00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:47.359
There's so many ways to do math.
00:32:49.599 --> 00:32:56.640
But the answer still comes up the same, so there's a right and a wrong answer, not a right and the wrong way to do it.
00:32:57.680 --> 00:32:58.799
Yeah, with math, right?
00:32:59.440 --> 00:32:59.680
Yep.
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:00.559
You're right.
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:06.799
My brain put some things together in my head real quick that you didn't see, and that's wrong because you don't know how I got to the answer, but is the answer wrong?
00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:08.880
Rolling my eyes.
00:33:09.119 --> 00:33:10.720
Y'all, I've been in big baby mode.
00:33:10.799 --> 00:33:12.400
I'm sorry, I just don't know what happened.
00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:17.440
I don't know where the stars went and where the all the things, but I've been a brat.
00:33:18.160 --> 00:33:22.559
So welcome to the journey, the real journey.
00:33:22.799 --> 00:33:24.319
And I'm glad to be on it.
00:33:24.559 --> 00:33:29.920
You know, I think that's my favorite thing right now is the journey.
00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:32.319
I think we were talking yesterday, was it yesterday?
00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:34.079
Um I don't know.
00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:46.720
About how the more I live, the more experiences I'm gonna have, whether they're good or bad, or it's just so much more to look forward to that hasn't happened yet.
00:33:46.960 --> 00:33:48.079
So much to learn.
00:33:48.240 --> 00:33:52.720
Like, I'm as wise as I am today, and I feel real good about it.
00:33:52.960 --> 00:34:03.039
But I'm like, oh my God, in a few years, I'm gonna be so much more wiser, and I'm gonna look back at this age of me and be like, you had some things together, but you still have some things to learn.
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:04.799
And it's just gonna be that way until I die.
00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:14.880
You know, like as long as we keep aging and seeing every day, it's like you're gonna keep knowing something different, you're gonna keep learning, you're gonna keep growing, keep choosing the life.
00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:16.639
You made me think of something.
00:34:16.880 --> 00:34:26.000
Um And that's the I feel like the s older I get, the smarter I get.
00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:36.079
And the way that I measure how smart I am is because I recognize more and more each day how much it is I don't know.
00:34:38.800 --> 00:34:41.599
Because I remember a time when I just knew every damn thing.
00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:42.880
Oh my goodness.
00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:56.159
Oh, you know, Daddy may have made it to the sixth grade from the South, Alabama, you know, but he came north and got his family and raised and and you know, held on a job and everything.
00:34:56.480 --> 00:34:58.639
Mama, I don't know how far she went in school.
00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:00.480
I don't know know if she graduated high school.
00:35:00.639 --> 00:35:01.840
I know she went there.
00:35:02.079 --> 00:35:07.599
Well, our generation, well, I dropped out of high school, but went back and finished up my education.
00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:12.719
And I remember um felt like I was just so much smarter than them.
00:35:13.920 --> 00:35:15.039
I'm so smart.
00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:18.239
Look, I got my education and I'm this and I'm that.
00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:20.880
There was so much wisdom in those folks.
00:35:21.119 --> 00:35:22.480
Oh my goodness.
00:35:23.119 --> 00:35:29.440
That six-year education was smarter than all the college I could have attended.
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:30.719
You know?
00:35:31.840 --> 00:35:38.880
So, you know, the older I get, uh, the more I look at, oh I don't know everything.
00:35:39.119 --> 00:35:49.119
And I think too, this which makes me smarter, in my opinion, is that I recognize that I don't know and I'm so comfortable or I'm becoming comfortable and not knowing.
00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:49.599
Yeah.
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:54.000
You know, and kind of like what you were saying, just the whole journey of it all.
00:35:54.480 --> 00:35:58.800
Yeah, I like being able to learn whatever I want to learn.
00:35:59.199 --> 00:36:03.039
Like if I have an interest in something, I get to go study it.
00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:07.840
I get to go look it up, I get to go learn whatever I want and become my own expert in that if I want to.
00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.159
Nobody's telling me what I can and can't learn.
00:36:10.320 --> 00:36:13.119
I can learn an infinite amount of things if I want.
00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:15.760
I can pick up any book I want and learn it.
00:36:16.079 --> 00:36:17.039
I love that.
00:36:17.280 --> 00:36:20.079
And I love that I get to do it by my interest.
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:30.719
It's like one of the things that um I'm really into right now is learning about different religions and spiritual leaders or um those choosing the love journey.
00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:32.159
I want to study all of them.
00:36:32.239 --> 00:36:36.079
I want to, I just add a Gandhi to my list of people to study.
00:36:36.239 --> 00:36:40.480
Um, and I like to do it using the kid versions first.
00:36:40.559 --> 00:36:43.199
This is it when I it's almost like the cliff notes.
00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:47.840
They walk you through the things, the highlights, and it's like, ah, I understand the story.
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:53.519
Now I can take that to a different book and hear it and start filling in those pieces with the details.
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:54.800
I enjoy that.
00:36:54.880 --> 00:37:13.360
So I've been um kind of learning the stories of the Quran right now, and how I can see some of the stories and how they they're a little different from the Holy Bible, but then how some of them are very similar and how stories being passed down and translation are a little different.
00:37:13.599 --> 00:37:16.800
Um, but the message is still the same.
00:37:17.119 --> 00:37:21.119
Just I know Ramadan just ended yesterday, I want to say it was.
00:37:22.960 --> 00:37:26.800
But they they go, uh-huh, they go through the Muslim.
00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:38.079
Um, I hope I'm saying it right, faith, culture has their fasting period, and it's just it this year aligns and last year aligns with Christian's Lent.
00:37:38.239 --> 00:37:54.400
And it's you know, just seeing how we're all the same and different, and we're all searching for something, and we want to be as great as we can and our lives here for whatever our end thought process is, you know.
00:37:54.559 --> 00:37:57.599
For some people, it's I'm gonna live this life of heaven.
00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:13.679
For some people, it's well, here is heaven, and I'm gonna live the best life here that I can, or you know, it's just so many different perspectives and ways, but I I I like just learning more, learning more and seeing how the others did it.
00:38:13.840 --> 00:38:27.119
And also, I love how they influence each other, learning how so like Martin Luther King choosing to kind of walk out some of Buddha's principles or Gandhi's principles, who was his influencer.
00:38:27.360 --> 00:38:36.480
I didn't know that Gandhi was an influencer of Martin Luther King until I started reading about Gandhi and you know found that through line.
00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:38.239
And it's like, what?
00:38:38.719 --> 00:38:50.480
The world has so much more out here than what we're told to learn or go to work, come home, pay bills, get your kids ready for bed to do it again the next day.
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:53.840
That's not life or living.
00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:59.679
It might be life, but it's not, you know, let me say it's not living, it's not living for me.
00:38:59.920 --> 00:39:01.679
That's not my standard of living.
00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:16.400
I want to live a different life, I want to expand it a little bit more, and so my definition of living is expanding every day with more knowledge that I get, and that makes me happy.
00:39:16.639 --> 00:39:17.519
Yes, baby.
00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:20.719
Ah, I feel so motherly in this moment.
00:39:21.119 --> 00:39:21.440
Oh.
00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:31.280
Because I'm listening to you, I'm watching your expressions, I can't see you, and you're just talking and going and everything.
00:39:31.440 --> 00:39:42.159
And I'm watching you, and I'm thinking, when you talk about, I'm able to learn what I want to learn and what I choose to learn it, and I'm thinking about how life is gonna teach you some shit.
00:39:42.400 --> 00:39:44.559
Oh yeah, and I'm already for that too.
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:45.360
Right, right, right.
00:39:45.440 --> 00:39:48.239
But I'm listening to you, and I'm going, uh-huh.
00:39:48.480 --> 00:40:02.719
You know, life is life, life with life is life is gonna uh I think life teaches us things sometimes we cannot articulate.
00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:21.280
Yeah, I'm excited, and so the the the mother in me reminds me of a time when we were hanging out at grandma's house, you know, Mark Twain, hey, and a multi-generational home and everybody there and all that, and so the women were sitting in the living room, we were talking, we were married, girl.
00:40:21.519 --> 00:40:23.920
My husband is, and I don't we just knew everything.
00:40:24.000 --> 00:41:01.440
And grandma was sitting in her chair, quiet, never saying word, and we were just going, and something I looked, and I went back to talking, and then I looked, and when it was over, I said, Grandma, I bet you watching us thinking, those girls think they know stuff, and we did, and we did, but the knowledge and the all the stuff was sitting in that chair, just watching us, you know, watching us process and figure things out, yeah.
00:41:01.679 --> 00:41:05.280
And that's actually that's a moment, that's a moment that I'm having with you right now.
00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:07.599
It's a loving moment, by the way.
00:41:07.679 --> 00:41:08.719
It's very loving.
00:41:09.119 --> 00:41:13.360
When you say life is going to teach me things, I know.
00:41:13.519 --> 00:41:18.239
I feel like even how I feel today is a part of life giving me something.
00:41:18.320 --> 00:41:21.440
I'm learning from I'm in it right now, so I ain't learned the lesson.
00:41:21.599 --> 00:41:29.519
Yeah, I got to go through the things and put the stuff in, you know, I gotta mess it up a little bit so that I can be like, ah, I see I can look back.
00:41:29.679 --> 00:41:35.360
I mean, as much as I want to prevent doing all right the first time, I understand that's just not the reality.
00:41:35.599 --> 00:41:42.639
I lay a blueprint to how I want to try to handle the situations, and I know that life is gonna do whatever life does, and I'll take that and learn from it.
00:41:42.800 --> 00:41:44.960
So that's the way I am, I think about it.
00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:47.199
And I know some lessons are gonna be harder than others.
00:41:47.280 --> 00:41:49.840
Some of them is gonna take longer to get through.
00:41:50.079 --> 00:42:01.119
Um, and that's to me part of the work I try to do for myself now so that when they come, I'll be able to have the tools to get through a little better.
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:02.880
And I'm not saying it's gonna be perfect.
00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:04.960
I might crown the flow of most technology.
00:42:05.199 --> 00:42:06.159
And it may not be hard.
00:42:06.239 --> 00:42:06.719
That's the thing.
00:42:06.800 --> 00:42:07.920
And it may not be hard.
00:42:08.480 --> 00:42:09.920
Some of some of them are gonna be hard.
00:42:10.159 --> 00:42:10.960
That's why.
00:42:11.199 --> 00:42:14.400
I mean, that's that's kind of like in my mind.
00:42:14.639 --> 00:42:21.440
Some of them have to be hard just in order to get the result, like the pressing of the oils or the diamonds.
00:42:21.519 --> 00:42:25.760
Like, it's the same thing, it's just a matter of how we we take that pressing.
00:42:25.840 --> 00:42:30.639
I had a deep tissue massage last Saturday.
00:42:30.880 --> 00:42:36.559
And I don't like deep tissue massages, but she did ask me, is there anything that you you know you're dealing with?
00:42:36.639 --> 00:42:37.599
And I was like, I don't know.
00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:38.880
I just know I got these emotions.
00:42:38.960 --> 00:42:40.400
They red and I don't know what to do with them.
00:42:40.480 --> 00:42:41.760
I'm sure they're in my body.
00:42:42.079 --> 00:42:44.559
She touched me and was like, ooh.
00:42:44.880 --> 00:42:47.119
She said I was so stiff.
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:48.400
Was it hips?
00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:49.440
What was it?
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:56.320
Everything from the neck down to my um, I was it was a chair massage, so neck to the my um hips.
00:42:57.280 --> 00:43:01.360
And she said the there's something called fascia between your skin and muscles.
00:43:01.519 --> 00:43:01.760
Okay.
00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:05.440
And apparently, when you get massages, they should be able to feel your muscles through your fascia.
00:43:05.679 --> 00:43:08.480
She said it was so thick she had to work through she couldn't feel the muscles.
00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:14.000
Um, and then there were some kinks, and we heard some popping a couple times, but I could tell she knew what she was doing.
00:43:14.079 --> 00:43:17.360
So I allowed the deep tissue massage so that I could release it.
00:43:17.440 --> 00:43:20.079
Whenever you allowed the popping, all of it.
00:43:20.239 --> 00:43:23.199
Because I know I know that our body holds on to things.
00:43:23.280 --> 00:43:23.440
Yeah.
00:43:23.599 --> 00:43:27.440
And so if I wasn't willing to release it, then it was just gonna be in me.
00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:30.960
I'm like, even if she can't get it all out, something can be released.
00:43:31.039 --> 00:43:38.079
So let's work, let me let her work within her realm of expertise and let me be the one to release.
00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:40.079
And so that's what that was.
00:43:40.159 --> 00:43:42.079
And it was it was beautiful.
00:43:42.320 --> 00:43:45.199
Just I don't even know why I brought that up.
00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:47.599
Maybe of just life, body, I don't know.
00:43:47.840 --> 00:43:48.960
It was a gift to me.
00:43:49.039 --> 00:43:49.760
So Okay.
00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:50.880
It was beautiful.
00:43:51.119 --> 00:43:56.719
I would let I would totally let her do it again, um, even though I don't like deep tissue massages.
00:43:56.800 --> 00:43:59.519
It was probably about 20 minutes because she worked on my back.
00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:05.440
Um And I listened to Andre 3000 Flute CD while she did it.
00:44:05.679 --> 00:44:06.559
Oh my god.
00:44:06.800 --> 00:44:07.280
Nice.
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:08.400
It was beautiful.
00:44:08.639 --> 00:44:09.760
It was so beautiful.
00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:12.079
Anywho, we gotta rap soon.
00:44:12.239 --> 00:44:15.199
Um we gotta rap soon.
00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:16.719
We gotta rap.
00:44:16.880 --> 00:44:23.519
Um we we're talking about being right and justified, and we got to share some of our stories.
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:28.960
And I know that at least I would assume there are many people who go through life.
00:44:29.199 --> 00:44:33.280
I think we're taught to try to be right, like from childhood.
00:44:33.679 --> 00:44:39.840
Isn't the idea to be right, to get everything right, to get 100% on your papers and your test?
00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:43.039
And if it's wrong, you need to go back and study to be right.
00:44:43.199 --> 00:44:44.800
Everything is about being right.
00:44:46.400 --> 00:44:49.679
So I guess in adulthood, we have to break the stigma somehow.
00:44:49.920 --> 00:44:52.079
And what how do we maneuver that?
00:44:52.159 --> 00:44:54.239
Everybody's situation is gonna be different.
00:44:54.559 --> 00:44:57.440
And what those stakes are for being right and justified.
00:44:57.519 --> 00:44:58.079
Is it important?
00:44:58.239 --> 00:44:59.280
Is it worth the battle?
00:45:00.719 --> 00:45:02.239
And what you going to the battle with?
00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:04.400
Oh, what you going to battle with?
00:45:05.199 --> 00:45:18.079
What I'm about to come to this battle with what tools got me a therapist, parents grandma might want to jump in, but I don't know.
00:45:18.400 --> 00:45:19.360
She was a little chill.
00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:21.519
Who's grandma?
00:45:21.760 --> 00:45:23.119
You, you the grandma.
00:45:23.360 --> 00:45:24.480
Oh, you're talking about Tamari.
00:45:24.719 --> 00:45:25.440
Your claws come out.
00:45:25.519 --> 00:45:28.800
I don't know how how you you do it nicely.
00:45:29.119 --> 00:45:30.639
You are absolutely correct.
00:45:30.719 --> 00:45:33.199
I'm very professional with my daddy.
00:45:33.519 --> 00:45:34.559
How dare you?
00:45:34.800 --> 00:45:35.280
Exactly.
00:45:35.440 --> 00:45:36.880
So I'm not sure.
00:45:38.079 --> 00:45:39.599
And that's that's justified.
00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:42.400
I must say, that's so justified.
00:45:42.559 --> 00:45:43.360
That's what?
00:45:43.760 --> 00:45:44.400
Justified.
00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:46.079
Oh my god, y'all.
00:45:46.400 --> 00:45:52.239
We're gonna end on that note because if you can end the show with with justification, yeah.
00:45:52.960 --> 00:45:55.039
I don't even know what to do from here, you know.
00:45:55.199 --> 00:46:01.039
Did you have any last words that you wanted to give to people, any wisdom that you want to drop on them real quick?
00:46:08.000 --> 00:46:17.599
I appreciated this uh this day and watching you just being candice.
00:46:18.400 --> 00:46:22.960
Also, what they don't know is to have some time with Kamari.
00:46:23.840 --> 00:46:25.840
That's really special to me.
00:46:26.880 --> 00:46:39.679
And um really seeing her, I always see her, but you know, for her to let me see her, and I don't mean just on the physical level, people who are listening.
00:46:39.840 --> 00:46:43.440
I mean something that Kamari and I know what the hell I mean.
00:46:43.519 --> 00:46:44.400
How about that?
00:46:45.760 --> 00:46:47.760
So um that was a gift.
00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:52.079
So thank you for the gifts that you've given me today.
00:46:52.400 --> 00:46:53.920
Oh, I love you.
00:46:54.079 --> 00:46:54.400
I love you.
00:46:54.639 --> 00:46:55.360
You're so sweet.
00:46:55.519 --> 00:46:56.559
I got a mama, y'all.
00:46:56.639 --> 00:46:57.199
My brother's in there.
00:46:57.360 --> 00:46:58.320
Everybody ain't got a mama.
00:46:58.639 --> 00:47:00.159
Until she's mad at me.
00:47:00.559 --> 00:47:01.840
I still got a mama then.
00:47:02.000 --> 00:47:03.519
I'm gonna be mad when you say that.
00:47:07.519 --> 00:47:08.320
That's right.
00:47:08.559 --> 00:47:10.400
Yes, that's right, thank you.
00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:20.639
All right, you guys, follow the show, send a text if there's anything you want to hear, if there's anything you like, if you want to share the podcast with someone else, please do.
00:47:20.800 --> 00:47:27.920
If you are AI who's listening in, well, go ahead and put a follow to and go leave a review somewhere because that's what I know that's what y'all be doing in here.
00:47:29.039 --> 00:47:30.960
So, hello AI, how you doing?
00:47:31.119 --> 00:47:31.599
Hello, hello.
00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:32.960
Be speaking to YouTube.
00:47:33.840 --> 00:47:37.440
Come on through, all right, guys.
00:47:37.519 --> 00:47:40.880
Remember to always love hard, forgive often, and laugh frequently.
00:47:41.119 --> 00:47:41.760
Bye, guys.
00:47:41.920 --> 00:47:42.880
Bye bye.