103 Rocks Don't Float: Cactus Tate Returns | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

WEBVTT
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Alright.
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You got sunnies?
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No, I don't wear those.
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I can't see.
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You don't wear sunnies?
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No, but I do have to fart.
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Well, if you're not wearing sunnies, I'm not wearing sunnies.
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Oh, I almost shit.
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You almost shit your face.
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Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
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Just now?
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Yeah.
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On camera.
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Dude, that would that actually would not be bad for the ratings if you shit like?
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Yeah, honestly.
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So if you do have a fucking shit up in there.
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Dude, I do, but it's like one of those that don't want to come up.
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I want to leave it out of my body when I don't eat enough fiber.
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I get the food.
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Dude, you never eat enough fiber.
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I've never, I don't even think, dude, every time, every time we go to eat fiber, every single time you're like, my stomach hurts, and I'm like, let's go eat fiber, you'll go, Well, what is fiber?
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And I don't always remember either, but I'll be like, beans or something like that.
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And you'll be like, Yeah, you you eat two spoonfuls, like I would say, every other night.
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Yep.
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If you're eating dinner.
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Yeah.
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Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Discombobulated.
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We have our first returning guest, someone who I care about very much, changed the trajectory of my comedy career.
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She uh just almost shit her pants.
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And I have been with her when on the road when she has shit her pants.
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Everybody, welcome back.
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Cactus Tate.
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Tate of my dude.
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Hi.
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Asshole, if I'm saying it.
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How are you?
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Good.
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I did.
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Good.
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How are you?
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Let's just talk.
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No, we have to talk about how you were almost just shit again.
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Because you have been farting and you just farted on the donuts.
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And that's a the only no-no on tours that she's like, you can't, you have to be careful and don't fart like near the food, or if I'm eating or anything like that.
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Any other time farts are fine.
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And just now you had voodoo donuts between your legs and fucking and you farted on them, and I was like, what?
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And you were like, Well, it's different because you weren't eating one of them.
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I'm like, oh, but you farted on one of them.
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So I can fart on a KFC bag and can give it to you.
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Is the KFC closed inside?
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Because this is close.
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It's closed.
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It's a paper bath.
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Yeah.
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It might as well be told about it.
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I pointed your asshole at my open, like to-go box and started at the food I was actively eating.
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Your shit shell.
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No.
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Your shit, what are those called?
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Shit particles?
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That's what they're called.
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They went in my nose and they definitely didn't because I had pants on, so the particles are definitely getting trapped by my underwear, then my pants.
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And then if we were at a hotel, I send your pants.
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Yeah.
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And so you're over here.
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So there's that amount.
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I went like this, which if I may, if that was a gun, wouldn't even that's not even near you.
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Yeah, but that's a shotgun and it fucking sprays.
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I get I do get that it does spray.
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I do get that it does spray, but I didn't mean to.
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I didn't mean to.
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We have a lot of we do have a lot of fun on the road, but we don't always just we're not always just shitting.
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It does feel like that sometimes though.
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You tried to shit today, and then I didn't have to, but I was like, I guess I'll try.
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And then I ended up shitting, and then we both came out and sincerely both realized when we walked back by, we were like, wait, you came out of that one, and I came out of that one, and then we realized that I had gone into the women's and took a shit, and you had gone into the men's and were just were constipated.
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I farted.
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You did fart?
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Oh, I for sure farted, and then I was like, there was someone next to me, and I thought it was a woman.
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I could have been.
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I thought it was a woman.
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I walked past two, we I walked past two men working there, and you said you walked past a woman.
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I think we had to have been a different part of the airport and just like gotten fucked up because there's no way.
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I just I feel like I remember seeing urinals.
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That's like a thing a guy does.
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You walk in, and if you see too many stalls, you're like, this isn't white.
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So I definitely feel like I saw a urinal and but oh my god, I'd be so upset.
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I've done that once as I was like, uh I was like shitting, but it was that one of those ones where like each stall is for men, women, you all gender, and all genders.
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So then I hear I hear two women come in, but they're in like the like main hallway of like where everyone can use the bathrooms, and I just start yelling, I go, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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And because and then I come out and they're like, What's going on?
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I go, I had no idea this was the woman's restroom.
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They were like, Oh, no, this is like everyone, I was like, Oh, I've never been in one of these.
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It wasn't like in Europe, it was just here.
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So I was so scared that I was like shitting in a woman's restroom.
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I like did like one wipe and then just you know.
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But you needed more?
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Oh, I went, yeah, I immediately got back into an all-gender stall and shit my my pantaloons off.
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Immediately after they told you you could?
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Or did you like walk out and pretend you didn't like freak out?
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No, I definitely I probably pretended, I probably waited for them to like go back into a thing and then peeked back around.
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Yeah, I definitely wasn't like, oh, cool, I'm gonna get back to shitting.
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That would be crazy.
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Woo!
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All right.
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I thank God it's not all women in here.
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I'm gonna go fartaloogie up my ass.
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Yeah, I don't think so.
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What do you call it?
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Butt snot?
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What do you mean?
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Like my well, I don't think I've I I'll just I call it different things all the time, like depending on how it what's coming out.
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I don't know.
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I got really gross stuff back there.
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Oh god.
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Yeah, something I've told I've told you that before.
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I'll go like wipe, and sometimes I'm just like, what is that?
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Where is that coming from?
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That's maybe the hardest I've made you off on tour, is that I was like, I had a hemorrhoid pop.
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Oh, they're always pop.
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It looks like it's like it's like someone's birthday in my head.
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It's like pop pop.
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It's like a gender reveal, and it's like it's blah.
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And uh it's an open source.
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Yeah.
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And so I always that it is uh that's kind of like where I'm always at.
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And then so then, but one time we were on the road, and I was like, I was like, I just I just kind of want to go like go to the bathroom, and I just like wiped, and it was like real, you know, it's like one of those times where you wipe and you're like, that wasn't nothing.
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That wasn't that wasn't a clean asshole, but also it might have just been like, you know, um covered in uh but so that it's that's not important, it's that's not important.
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But I wiped and then immediately uh it was like, what is it was like this stuff, and then I I reconvened with cactus and I was like, hey, I think I realize that sometimes like that stuff is like a hemorrhoid bursting.
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She's like, What did you say?
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Then there would be blood in it.
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Oh yeah, and I go, Yeah, you're right.
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I go, what is that stuff?
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What is like like sincerely serious?
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I go, what is that stuff?
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I've never seen it more perplexed, and it was just so upsetting and hilarious at the same time.
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You did almost fall into traffic at that stop sign.
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I wish I would have.
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That fucking wow.
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Words don't go together like you put them together sometimes.
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No, no, no, no.
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But we are where are we at?
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We are at the uh we're at the Denver airport.
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We got here, what time did we get here?
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7:30 a.m.
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A.m.
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And what time do we leave?
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320.
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Yeah.
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We had gotten in um, we had gotten, we had left your place.
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We had left uh the Houston airport.
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What time?
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Four or five?
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Five fifteen.
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Five fifty.
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You hate when I blow my nose.
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Oh, it's so disgusting.
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I gotta do it.
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Or do you just have boogers like the rest of us?
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Yeah, dude.
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I'm your daughter and I gotta blow my I have boogies.
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Yeah my little goog.
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Yeah, my daughter, angel.
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You're Bobby, and you don't know what you're doing.
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We go this way.
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Actually, I'm the one that helps you.
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His butt it's not, and it's not his hemright.
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It's something else, but he doesn't know what's in there.
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I didn't shit my pants.
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I just shit my butt.
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There's a difference when you shit your pants and but.
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Anyway, we can't just be talking about shit all the time.
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No, but I did have to talk about it.
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I do talk about shit so much with like all my female friends.
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Like with guys, I kind of do a little bit, but they're usually like you talk about it for a little bit and eventually they're like, alright, I'm you know, drinking or whatever.
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But I talked to I talk to all my female friends about shit.
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That's crazy is when you shit, you wipe your vagina and your asshole at the same time, but when you piss you only wipe your vagina.
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Hmm.
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I'd really like if I could have a moment just to understand.
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Because I think I always kind of thought that you guys would do that.
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But I I guess there's like no slowing down, there's no merging into try if there's no like look, you just go ffft and it's just the you swipe the whole credit.
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You gotta Okay.
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Yeah, I don't I think that's fine.
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But you can there's a way to like just wipe your vagina, but there's no way to just wipe your asshole.
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You can go around the back and just try to get your asshole, but you're gonna get your vagina.
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But you can also like you could just dab the front and put it down.
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That makes sense.
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Yes, no, d the dab in the front makes sense.
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I just did I get the dabbing it down, that makes sense, but then I just I never thought about turn like from behind just being like, I mean, it makes it makes sense.
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I'm always also blown away, even when I was a kid, if I went to the bathroom and me and my mom went at the same time, or if I've ever been dating anyone, or friends that are girls, anyone, we go to the bathroom and we come out at the same time.
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And I'm like, you guys have so many more steps, and uh usually a couple things with you.
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Like, how do you did that so fast?
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It always fucks me up.
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Like, we'll get out and I'm like, I don't know how you I don't know how we're both getting out at the same time.
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Dude, I do it so quick I don't even touch the toilet seat.
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I hover to pee.
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I've heard a lot of people.
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I do with all my things on too, so I don't take anything off.
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Backpack, everything, just hover, and get back out.
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I'm out in seconds.
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It's like a pit stop.
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That's funny.
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I do like turnaround and I almost like I get ready like a lazy Batman.
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I'm like, backpack here.
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I'll sit here.
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And then I just sit.
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Oh yeah, dude.
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I get it like all set up.
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And then like also at the airport's the only time where you're like you don't feel as rushed.
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So like if someone's shitting and then like there's a line, you're like, whatever.
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But also, every airport I've been in, they need to make more air the more bathrooms because like everywhere we go, there's like a long line.
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And I know it's a bathroom and it smells like shit, but like when you like get to the door and you're just like, oh my god, and then you wait a line and you have to do that thing as a you have to go like this as a guy because we have urinal or this.
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So if there's a urinal that opens, you have to concede the sad, you just have to be there, like, oh, you can go next.
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You're like, no, I go shit down.
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You have to like you have to stand in that line while everyone keeps pissing, and they're like, No man, you can go next.
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No, I have to poop in shit out of my asshole right now.
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And then you have to like do that, and then you just have to stand there, and I've I am as I am unconfident if I'm like talking to a girl as I am if I'm standing there and everyone knows I'm about to shit.
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Because then you have to stand there and you have to shit, but no one you're you're not allowed to stand there and be like, fuck.
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You have to stand there and you just have to be like, hmm.
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So only time I pretend I know about sports, I'm like, how about those cardinals?
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And then someone's like, they're doing pretty good.
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I'm like, fuck.
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I do not pay attention to cardinals.
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Well, I don't understand why you guys even have urinals.
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Why don't you all have stalls?
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Like having your dick out isn't any less like showy than sitting down in your dick.
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Like, you're it's all out.
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Like, why is there urinals out?
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Why don't you guys all have stalls?
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Um, I don't know.
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Because your dick's still out.
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Well, and also and also it's like if there's a toilet and you have your own stall, you can just piss into the toilet too.
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So that you're right.
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I guess it's because it's like cool, it's like a guy thing.
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We're like, what the fuck?
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But what's weird is that guys do love to go to a urinal, but also guys like have these like weird rules.
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Like one time I stood right next to, like, not like right next to a guy, there's like there's like five, and instead of like choosing this one because there was like everyone used it, there's like more piss on the ground, we're like we're sharing elbows, and he literally was like, Bro, you're supposed to leave a gap.
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And I'm like, Well, sorry, my dad didn't teach me.
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We didn't go, this is how we pee, son.
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Like, I just was like, I thought we could all pee and look forward, but yeah, if we we honestly, if we all just had like a urinal, like or whatever, like and also I don't I don't feel that good with the urinal because almost every time even if they well, not if they're too high, they're always too dude, picturing me tippy toed, trying to fucking off.
00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:28.879
I mean what?
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Took my pad off.
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Oh, hey, I didn't mean to almost take your pad off, which by the way, where'd you get that pad from?
00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:37.360
Bobby's backpack.
00:12:37.679 --> 00:12:38.879
Don't say it like that.
00:12:39.120 --> 00:12:44.480
I'm such a good friend that I was packing, and I had some from last tour because you were on your frickin' period.
00:12:44.639 --> 00:12:46.639
So then I was like, oh, she might need these.
00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:49.200
And hey, what did you just need just now?
00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:50.559
A pad to blow my nose.
00:12:50.799 --> 00:12:56.480
You didn't have any, we didn't have anything to blow our nose in, and I was like, hey, if only I you could use a dampon or a pad.
00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:58.480
And both would have worked, and I'm grateful.
00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:01.120
I'm grateful that you carry around these pads and tampons.
00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:01.519
I love it.
00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:01.840
I love it.
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:05.440
I love it when TSA pulls me over and I'm like, I can have a period.
00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:06.559
You too.
00:13:06.799 --> 00:13:07.919
I could have one if I wanted to.
00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:09.440
Which guy I have I can have a period.
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:11.360
I have hemorrhoids you don't even know about.
00:13:12.159 --> 00:13:14.559
I have to have a pad back there, dude.
00:13:14.720 --> 00:13:20.960
Dude, if you don't give me a pad, dude, I honestly would oh my god, pads for guys with really bad hemorrhoids.
00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:24.000
You should they make panty liners and I'm sure those would work the same.
00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:27.919
They're like a thinner version of a pad, so it's just like a light paper to catch your ass.
00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:31.200
Are those always like they're smaller than the ones you have in like pink?
00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:39.519
Because my mom would have those, and I would always take them out, like, because she'd be in line and I'd be like looking through a purse for gum, and I'd take it out, and I never knew what that was.
00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:43.120
Yeah, I just I just eat a fucking panny line.
00:13:43.200 --> 00:13:48.480
I'm like it does when you're looking for it, you're like, this doesn't smell bad.
00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:51.120
It smells like it's trying to cover up a stinking.
00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:53.200
Smells like flour powder.
00:13:56.799 --> 00:13:57.679
Oh my god.
00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:01.600
You know what's crazy is the scented ones make it so much worse.
00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:05.120
They make your pussies think we're like oh yeah.
00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:09.039
It's like a bunch of blood and puss with a light rose scent over the top.
00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:09.600
Really?
00:14:10.159 --> 00:14:10.879
So bad.
00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:13.120
You have to get uncented ones.
00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:15.440
And they make menthol ones too.
00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:18.000
Yeah, it burns, bitch.
00:14:18.159 --> 00:14:19.759
And if do you guys ever share one?
00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:22.639
And if it's like, oh, I don't want menthol, and you're like, just don't pop it.
00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:26.720
If you don't pop it, it won't turn into menthol.
00:14:26.960 --> 00:14:31.759
And just like a cigarette, you're like, I can still fucking feel the menthol a little bit.
00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:35.039
No, I did borrow a pad from a girl and she's like, it's a honey pot.
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:36.399
And I didn't know what that meant.
00:14:36.480 --> 00:14:43.840
I was like, a honeypot, and she was trying to warn me by saying it's menthol, and I put it on it, and like I started walking, I was like, why is it spicy?
00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:47.200
It was a I did not know they made menthol pads.
00:14:47.519 --> 00:14:49.919
Only one brand does it, and it's not popular for a reason.
00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:51.840
They don't make menthol like condoms.
00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:53.840
Nobody even wants menthol cigarettes, bitch.
00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:57.440
Those are the ones they buy, so nobody else at the bar takes their cigarettes, okay?
00:14:57.759 --> 00:15:03.039
Dude, you meet someone who likes menthol cigarettes that you can just tell they do smoke cigarettes in a way no one else does.
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:04.879
They kind of like my I'm trying to think.
00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:06.000
Yeah, in bed.
00:15:06.159 --> 00:15:06.799
Yeah.
00:15:08.799 --> 00:15:10.399
That shit's crazy.
00:15:10.639 --> 00:15:14.799
Dude, did did our our friend Viv, did Viv used to smoke like menthols?
00:15:14.879 --> 00:15:18.879
Because she does, she seems like a sil, a uh, what's it, a Virginia Slim lady?
00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:21.039
No, she does a marble light.
00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:22.559
I know that's a structure light.
00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:23.759
Yeah, she's a marble light lady.
00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:26.559
Because that's a because also she's our she's uh our friend.
00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:28.399
She's your friend, but you've known her longer.
00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:30.159
She's how's 64?
00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:32.000
67?
00:15:32.480 --> 00:15:32.879
Err.
00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:33.759
No way.
00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:35.759
She's 67 now, I think, or 66.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:41.039
Anyway, she's cool and she's kissed Willie Nelson, and that's a that's a feat in its own.
00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:45.440
And uh so if yeah, dude, when you see her, she's like, I'm smoking the real six.
00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:47.600
These are light, I'm smoking them, but they're a little lighter.
00:15:47.840 --> 00:15:48.720
She's not a pussy, dude.
00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:49.600
She's a real deal.
00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:51.279
Dude, Vivian is not a pussy.
00:15:51.360 --> 00:15:53.039
I love, dude, I fucking love Viv.
00:15:53.120 --> 00:16:03.279
I went whenever I went over to her house, uh, she uh she gave me um those uh the things for tour that we kept the uh in case like your car breaks down, those like spinny hazard lights.
00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:04.639
Oh but she had them in a room.
00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:18.639
What was really funny is that she had them in one of those rooms where you're like, I know where it's at, and then she didn't, and dude, she was climbing in between things, and there was a moment where I was like, Viv, I know you can get that, but also I'm gonna have to you need to find them because I have to put them out for you.
00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:20.639
She's gonna fucking get hurt.
00:16:20.879 --> 00:16:23.039
Oh is it that spare bedroom she took you in?
00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:23.440
Yeah.
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:26.080
Oh, there's there's a rhyme and reason to all of that.
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:34.639
You could tell, you could tell there was a rhyme or reason, but I also feel like just like with any junk drawer and stuff, sometimes like the rhyme and the reason gets a little fucking mixed up.
00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:36.559
It's her rhyme and her reason.
00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:37.519
Yes, for sure.
00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:39.200
Dude, Viv fucking rules.
00:16:39.279 --> 00:16:40.000
I love Vivian.
00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:42.240
She's uh a sig smoking.
00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:43.279
Got a new dog.
00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:44.480
Gotta love seeing her.
00:16:44.559 --> 00:16:45.360
What's Valentina?
00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:45.840
Mm-hmm.
00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:47.519
Dude, she's really trained up.
00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:53.360
She put she put Valentina, she paid$2,500 to send her to a vet for two weeks, or not a vet, uh trainer for two weeks.
00:16:53.519 --> 00:16:53.840
Oh, yeah.
00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:59.759
Even whenever I went over the last time, she uh their dog was like her dog was like uh better.
00:16:59.919 --> 00:17:06.720
Like she was like bet like you she definitely was jumping, but it's also it's like it's like when a kid's out on an airplane, it's like that's what they do.
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:14.400
Like, what do you I mean it's a kid, it's uh it's a kid, it's a dog, it's like they're they're just playing around, and once you get past that stage, then it'll be good.
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:18.240
Eventually it's just they lay there and they kind of like look around with their eyes, it'll be beautiful.
00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:22.960
Yeah, when they get old and ran all the life out of them and the pedigree got to their arteries or whatever.
00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:27.519
Yeah, but dude, it is I mean, don't do you kind of miss that a little bit with Dexter?
00:17:27.599 --> 00:17:34.240
Because like with your dog Dexter, like you'll see him and he like goes because he wants to run, and you just go, Dexter, no.
00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:37.759
And he like he listens like how your kid listens.
00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:39.519
So that has to be kind of fun.
00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:44.079
But do you don't miss those puppy times a little bit when he would like was just like all over the place?
00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:47.759
He was so fat, he would run from me and I would have to dude.
00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:49.359
He used to be such a little shit.
00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:49.839
Yeah.
00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:54.319
Uh no, because he was just such a well, I do miss him being a puppy because he was able to play a lot rougher.
00:17:54.400 --> 00:17:59.279
We would actually fight like real body slams on each other, and no one would get hurt.
00:17:59.440 --> 00:18:03.039
Um, he would grab my hair and pull it, like just not hard enough to like rip it out.
00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:04.799
But we would fuck each other up.
00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:06.160
But you can't play with him like that anymore.
00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:07.119
His hips are kind of old.
00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:07.680
I know.
00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:08.640
That's the only thing I miss.
00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:09.039
Not him.
00:18:09.279 --> 00:18:10.480
He used to get into so much shit.
00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:12.640
He he still to this day pisses he hates Keen.
00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:14.160
He pisses in his toolbox all the time.
00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:14.880
He does?
00:18:15.039 --> 00:18:17.599
He's fucked with Keen since the day we got together.
00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:20.480
It's because Keen is the reason Dexter doesn't sleep in my bed anymore.
00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:23.519
He used to eat dinner at the dinner table with me on the table.
00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:28.240
We had a bench seat, and you could see where his little ass print and claws had fucked it up were at the table I had.
00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:29.599
And he'd sleep next to me in bed.
00:18:29.920 --> 00:18:33.440
And then when I married Keen, we couldn't have three dogs in bed because we couldn't all fit.
00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:34.799
So they all had to sleep on the ground.
00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:36.799
And ever since then, Dexter's held a grudge.
00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:38.960
Man, that's kind of that's like a sad break.
00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:51.440
That's like a sad version of a breakup because in Dexter's mind, it's like, you're like, he's like, Oh, this is my girl, and then he'd take care of him, and then this guy comes in and now he's sleeping outside and everything, but he's still it's not like he's like, Oh, I get I'll just go find another owner.
00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:52.559
He's like, This is still my owner.
00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:54.319
You just gotta sit there and watch him be replaced.
00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:54.880
Yeah, dude.
00:18:54.960 --> 00:19:01.680
I remember there was a we had this like poetry, not like a poetry book, but it was like a like a in community college, it was like some literature class.
00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:03.440
So there's like poems, there was different stuff.
00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:07.359
And I remember when I went to go return the book, they were like, We'll give you six bucks back.
00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:09.759
And I'm like, I think I'll just keep this book.
00:19:09.839 --> 00:19:12.880
So every once in a while I would like go through and try to like read something.
00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:34.480
And I remember I flipped through and there was this like long allegory about like this guy who had this beautiful life with this woman and then died and then came back as a parakeet, and like it's this beautiful thing where she sees him, picks him out, takes him back, but he's a parakeet, so then like she starts bringing guys back to like get over him and she's like fucking him, and he's like freaking out in the cage, and he's a parakeet, and he's a parakeet or whatever.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:36.880
And I know you and Dexter like weren't fucking or whatever.
00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:38.720
Like, it's got so weird.
00:19:39.440 --> 00:19:41.759
Oh, did my podcast get weird on part of it?
00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:44.319
My podcast get weird, dude.
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:44.880
Can I tell?
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:45.599
Yeah, yeah.
00:19:46.640 --> 00:19:47.359
Do you want to tell?
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:51.279
So I fuck you, dude.
00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:52.240
I freeze up.
00:19:52.480 --> 00:19:54.960
Sometimes I do things that don't make sense, okay?
00:19:55.119 --> 00:19:57.680
I I I'm not a I'm a woman of chaos.
00:19:58.160 --> 00:19:58.960
You explain.
00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:00.400
I would love to explain.
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:05.519
So the other day, me and Tatum were starting to uh record her new podcast coming out soon.
00:20:05.680 --> 00:20:07.519
Uh The Morning Drop is what it's called.
00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:08.319
Off.
00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:10.799
Morning drop off.
00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:11.440
Okay, cool.
00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:14.319
Well, tell what's uh tell a couple of the other ideas that you had.
00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:16.079
Uh parent pickup.
00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:17.119
Parent pickup.
00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:17.680
That was yeah.
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:19.759
Parent after school drop-off.
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:22.640
So, but but the concept, you can kind of hear it in there.
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:31.599
If if you were guessing what the podcast would be about, you'd be like, oh, it's probably about like school and like maybe Marlo and her family and Tatum.
00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:35.680
So she's doing the podcast, and she's like, I th I have I know exactly what I kind of want to talk about.
00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:39.119
It's gonna be Marlo, kind of make her for school, this, that, and the other.
00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:41.759
And I'm producing it, so I'm getting all the audio and everything.
00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:44.319
And she, there's a lull.
00:20:46.720 --> 00:21:04.559
And then you bring up like, and then she, you know, and then you know, whenever she gets older, and then you know, he he might, and you start bringing up hypothetical people that I couldn't keep up with because I was just making sure the levels were good, and then you were like, Yeah, and then you start talking about rape, and then he's like, Yeah, and then he probably he probably doesn't even get charged or anything.
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:16.559
And I go, dude, we're 10 minutes into the podcast about dropping your daughter off in school, and you were just like doing talking about like a hypothetical and I remember you stopped and you go, Is this bad?
00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:24.960
And I go, Well, I thought we were gonna talk about like chicken fingers, not like getting fucking finger.
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:30.880
No, because immediately after I was like, and he never goes and he never goes to jail or anything for doing that.
00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:33.279
But anyways, I made my daughter chicken spaghetti last night.
00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:37.279
Yeah, I remember I just was like, I couldn't even look at you, dude.
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:40.079
I completely went from rape to chicken spaghetti.
00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:43.119
Yeah, I was like, dude, imagine like that would just be so crazy.
00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:53.119
I'm like, oh, dude, this podcast is supposed to teach you like how to become like a better musician and all this stuff, and then all of a sudden you suddenly like, yeah, and then I don't know, fucking, yeah, and like someone hypothetically kills your whole family.
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:56.480
You're like, what the hell happened in this podcast?
00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:59.680
And you go, maybe you think we'll you want to take a breather, we'll take a moment.
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:02.720
I'm like, yeah, let's take a moment, maybe fucking eat some chicken things.
00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:06.319
That's from that chicken spaghetti you made.
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:07.440
Oh fuck.
00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:09.759
Oh my god, I don't know why I did that.
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:11.359
Um that's funny.
00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:12.240
We do have fun though.
00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:19.680
That was the most fun that we had had, is we were filming it, and then I went to stop it, and I just started again because we were both just laughing at like how bad it was.
00:22:19.759 --> 00:22:23.279
Because that's the thing, is like you're like, you know how bad something is as a comic.
00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:24.640
But the thing is, is you're stuck in it.
00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:25.440
With like a guitar.
00:22:25.519 --> 00:22:31.839
If you play music, you can be like, I know how to get my way out of this, but as a comic, you're just in a thought, and then you have to be like, fuck.
00:22:33.039 --> 00:22:35.759
I better find the end of this sentence very quickly.
00:22:36.079 --> 00:22:41.759
Yeah, you have to because everybody's looking at you to make a point, and and when you don't know that point that you're trying to make, it gets scary.
00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:46.240
Well, no one told, but it was the first episode, no one told you what the point we we let you pick the point.
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:46.960
I farted.
00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:49.200
Not in you, why didn't you fart in the microphone?
00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:50.720
I farted at the donuts again.
00:22:50.960 --> 00:22:51.359
It's weird.
00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:59.920
Both of us get upset with the other person for fart etiquette, but mine is that like you don't do it like punk rock enough, and yours is that like it's just like it's on my food.
00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:02.799
You farted on the food.
00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:03.440
Yeah.
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:05.920
I don't care if you fart on the food, but if you fart, you gotta do it.
00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:06.799
We have mics on our hands.
00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:07.599
You gotta fart.
00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:08.799
These mics have all been farted.
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:10.880
No, what if my front farts first too?
00:23:11.119 --> 00:23:11.839
Then you hear that one.
00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:13.440
Can you it's like a different octave?
00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:15.039
Is it?
00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:15.920
I don't know.
00:23:16.160 --> 00:23:16.720
I don't know.
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:19.599
Because I mean, I I can't like do it.
00:23:19.680 --> 00:23:22.720
It has to be uh Keen has to help.
00:23:23.359 --> 00:23:27.759
But it's the same kind of a push, a front one and a back one are the same kind of a push?
00:23:28.480 --> 00:23:32.720
It's the same muscles, but you can feel which angle it comes out.
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:44.880
I would not well no, because like if I blow my nose, I can't just be like left, right! So I'm wondering how you know which hole you're gonna fucking blow fucking fart dust out of.
00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:48.640
Sometimes girls fart and then it goes up the front and then it like gets trapped in your puss.
00:23:48.799 --> 00:23:56.880
Like, oh, so you can like recycle it and then it's like it's like that Spider-Man meme.
00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:01.680
There's a nowhere to go.
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:02.799
Oh my god.
00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:03.599
There's no way home.
00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:05.599
It's just back to the back inside.
00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:08.400
Get the fuck a fart goes out and goes back in front.
00:24:08.480 --> 00:24:09.599
You're get the fuck back in.
00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:10.480
Sorry, dude.
00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:13.279
Why the fuck did I do that?
00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:24.160
Yeah, but dude, I I think that would I would say that it we have a lot of stuff that we quote just from like being on tour and stuff that's happened.
00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:36.960
But I do think that we've maybe quoted that scene from friendship whenever he stands up for his now like ex-wife, and they're all out at dinner with him and his family, he stands up to that guy, and as soon as they're like, Hey, thank you so much, because why the fuck did I just do that?
00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:37.839
We do it all the time.
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:38.960
You think I'm afraid of you?
00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:40.160
I just bought a van.
00:24:41.359 --> 00:24:42.480
I'm not scared of you.
00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:43.599
I just bought a van.
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:45.519
Dude, that movie is so so good.
00:24:46.079 --> 00:24:49.599
But uh we have wait, dude, we have a uh we do have a fun time on tour.
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:55.440
I'm glad when I dude, when I met you when we first did the podcast, we hadn't even been on tour at all together.
00:24:55.680 --> 00:25:00.079
And then we did Vegas, and then you found out I was sleeping in my car.
00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:05.119
Because you had asked me to go on tour, and I was like, Well, I can't afford to go on tour unless I sleep in my car.
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:06.960
So I couldn't tell you where I was sleeping.
00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:11.440
You and your husband, I remember you guys both kept asking me, you and Keem were like, So where are you staying?
00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:12.880
And I kept saying, nearby.
00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:14.799
Dude, you were being so weird about it.
00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:20.000
And me and him were like, is he staying at like I thought you were gonna stay at like the whorehouse for a second.
00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:22.720
I was like, well, maybe he's staying at the like Can you stay at whorehouses?
00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:24.799
Yeah, you guys you got paid to spend the night.
00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:28.480
Yeah, I've that's really funny.
00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:33.039
I feel like that would be like if I was like, let's go eat like Pizza Hut and then be like, Can I sleep here?
00:25:35.359 --> 00:25:40.400
Hey, my take a little load up, which actually sound and now that I think about it, kind of sounds like perfect.
00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:46.640
I'm gonna guess that did not sound like mine.
00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:52.880
Can you tell in your United headphones which side that was?
00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:56.480
You go like this and look at your hands, you looked at left and right.
00:25:56.960 --> 00:26:01.759
Dude, if you want me to edit whatever keep it in.
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:04.000
You tell me where that came from.
00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:07.519
Wrote a survey up in this bitch.
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:09.119
Um, I think that was a queen.
00:26:09.279 --> 00:26:11.359
That's clearly a fart, you fucking idiot.
00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:13.920
You've never heard a queef in your life.
00:26:14.240 --> 00:26:15.839
Did you not hear the pitch in that?
00:26:16.079 --> 00:26:18.240
It was angled like her asshole.
00:26:18.559 --> 00:26:19.839
Oh, you think it's angled.
00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:20.799
Look at how she's sitting.
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:22.400
You don't even know where a pussy was.
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:30.240
That's funny.
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:32.160
You wouldn't know a cleaf from your ass.
00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:39.599
Fuck, that felt good.
00:26:40.400 --> 00:26:44.880
Oh my god, you stupid fucking piece of shit.
00:26:46.480 --> 00:26:48.400
That's another quote from Tour.
00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:51.519
You stupid fucking bitch.
00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:53.519
You dumb fucking bitch.
00:26:53.759 --> 00:26:54.160
That's what they said.
00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:55.759
Yeah, you dumb fucking bitch.
00:26:55.920 --> 00:26:57.440
We basically had a conversation.
00:26:57.599 --> 00:27:02.240
We I don't we shouldn't say anything specific, so there no one could get an idea of maybe even where this at.
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:08.880
But basically, a manager, we had told them what we did instead of what had happened, and everything was fine.
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:14.160
The show was fine, no part of that was messed up, and they were like, I can't believe you did that.
00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:16.319
And they were actually the ones that told us to do this.
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:21.119
And then so I remember they looked, I just remember they go, You stupid fucking bitch.
00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:22.799
Is that bird shit on my leg?
00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:23.359
No.
00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:24.319
Let's ask.
00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:27.039
Are you bird shit?
00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:28.400
Are you freed out?
00:27:28.640 --> 00:27:32.880
Have you ever been shit on by not by your kid or anything, by like a uh like a bird or something like that?
00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:37.119
Yeah, and by remember when that dude was dry up in my stomach and he left his shit saying.
00:27:37.680 --> 00:27:39.119
Do I remember that?
00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:42.160
Like you were there.
00:27:44.160 --> 00:27:44.640
I remember that.
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:45.119
No, no, no.
00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:51.680
I remember the guy We were No, dude.
00:27:51.759 --> 00:28:04.720
I meant this is I remember you telling me about that because I remember you were telling me you're like, you're telling me the story, and then because like as a guy, there's always you're like, oh man, you know, embarrassing stuff, you know, like I'm like, oh, you think you know what's gonna happen.
00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:05.920
And I didn't know it.
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:10.960
That was one of the that was definitely not like one of the first ones where you had told me a story where I was like, you gotta talk about that very soon.
00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:12.880
And you tried, but the audience just couldn't handle it.
00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:13.680
It's so weird.
00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:18.960
Because there's something about like they're they're like, oh, dude, this beautiful girl, she's so cool.
00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:24.480
And then you're like, and then he left an asterisk on my everyone's like, nah, we're paying our tabs right now.
00:28:24.720 --> 00:28:25.119
Yeah, dude.
00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:30.240
So what happened is I was uh I was like one of my first boyfriends, and he, I don't know why he was doing this.
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:34.000
He was naked on top of me, like dry humping my stomach, like dick out.
00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:36.799
Oh, I thought he was like, okay, he was just dry humping your stomach.
00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:43.119
Yeah, just like a joke, like making a joke, but when he got off of it, there was a shit stain.
00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:45.680
He wasn't trying to like get off on my stomach.
00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:51.440
Okay, as a guy, that either me do you can you tell, did he was he just a guy that didn't have cleanliness?
00:28:51.680 --> 00:29:01.359
Because like you sometimes you got, you know, your asshole's not always clean, but you gotta be pushing your ass down to have your ass like where I'm sitting right now.
00:29:01.599 --> 00:29:04.880
I'm sitting right now, my asshole is not touching the ground.
00:29:05.119 --> 00:29:06.000
Does that make sense?
00:29:06.160 --> 00:29:13.119
So for him to be like honestly, what's crazy is he was probably like, this feels really good.
00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:19.359
My ass has shit all over it, and I'm getting I'm itching it on your belly button ring or whatever.
00:29:20.720 --> 00:29:24.480
Dude, I don't know why you did it when he ran and he got toilet paper and he started to clean it off.
00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:26.240
And I was like, I'm getting in the shower.
00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:27.440
What do you mean?
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:30.400
I want to make sure we're still going.
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:33.440
This is I literally love this so much.
00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:35.200
I cannot believe it.
00:29:35.279 --> 00:29:36.319
Can I take a hit of my vape?
00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:37.440
Dude, you can do whatever you want.
00:29:37.519 --> 00:29:38.480
Yeah, give me a hit too.
00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:43.519
We're actually, would you say this is the how many vapes have we quit?
00:29:43.759 --> 00:29:46.480
Including the one you threw before you smoked.
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:51.519
Before you smoked, we were uh in a city, and I think something had happened that day.
00:29:51.599 --> 00:29:53.680
So I think I was like bummed and also not feeling good.
00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:56.400
We were sitting outside, I was like, dude, why the fuck do I smoke this thing?
00:29:56.480 --> 00:29:58.160
And you're like, I don't know, can I have it?
00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:00.640
And you took it and you fucking And threw it.
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:02.960
And I know, listen, everyone's allowed to litter once.
00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:04.400
So many people litter all the time.
00:30:04.559 --> 00:30:06.880
If you're throwing it and you throw a vape, that's fine.
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:10.400
But yeah, you took it and threw it in the woods, and I laughed really hard.
00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:11.200
Can I have that?
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:11.599
No.
00:30:11.839 --> 00:30:13.599
You threw it really hard.
00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:14.880
And I hit this.
00:30:14.960 --> 00:30:16.240
I'm like, yeah, dude.
00:30:16.319 --> 00:30:17.599
I thought I was badass now.
00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:19.359
If I threw this vape, I'd run after it.
00:30:19.519 --> 00:30:21.680
My knees would knock together while I chased it.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:23.440
I know, but we've quit so many times.
00:30:23.519 --> 00:30:28.400
Dude, one time I was in my car and I hit it and I was like, I fucking hate this thing so much.
00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:29.440
You know what I'm gonna do?
00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:32.720
I'm gonna fucking throw it to where I can't even grab it.
00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:35.920
So I threw it and I was like, I just went like this.
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:44.160
And as I threw it, I looked in my rearview mirror and like, watch the trajectory, and I knew, I literally knew exactly where it landed.
00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:46.960
Like I moved one bag, put my hand there, and I was like, there it is.
00:30:47.119 --> 00:30:50.480
But I would I'm sincerely since I'm being very honest.
00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:54.400
I think we have said that on, I would say nine of these.
00:30:54.720 --> 00:30:56.319
I was gonna say 19.
00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:00.480
No, 19, because there were still some we were still smoking, and you were definitely like, I'm not gonna quit.
00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:01.759
We would just be like, we should quit this.
00:31:01.839 --> 00:31:04.400
But I think literally we'd be like, this is the last vape.
00:31:04.559 --> 00:31:04.640
Yeah.
00:31:04.799 --> 00:31:08.400
And as soon as we throw it away, we'll be going to like a hotel, and I'm like, what is this?
00:31:08.480 --> 00:31:12.559
And you're like, there's the vape shop on the way, and I'm like, this is the worst part of town I've ever been in.
00:31:12.799 --> 00:31:13.759
I bought one, dude.
00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:15.119
I bought one illegally the other day.
00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:16.400
Oh, yeah, you were telling me about that.
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:17.599
I'm so mad I didn't go with you.
00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:18.319
Where was that at?
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:20.640
And where was that at?
00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:27.279
Um we were walking.
00:31:27.839 --> 00:31:37.200
When you got really you had I can't remember what had happened, but enough things, you were tired and you enough things that had happened to you that day that I was like, I feel like I could be a good friend right now.
00:31:37.279 --> 00:31:42.000
Like, not even just like you're open or like trying to help out with stuff, because like you don't ever ask for anything.
00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:50.880
But I was like, I feel like if I can go for a walk right now and get out of here and let her, you like have time to just nap and then also see if they have a vape shop.
00:31:50.960 --> 00:31:52.319
And I came back and it was a fine vape.
00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:57.759
I picked the best one, but I went in there and it was a head shop that and I was like, Hey, do you have vapes?
00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:02.160
And she just judged my whole vibe and face and goes, Yeah, come here.
00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:03.599
And I was like, What?
00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:07.440
And she like lifted up that like partition or whatever that like thing.
00:32:07.599 --> 00:32:15.200
So I go behind the counter and we go it back behind a door, and there's like she rapes you.
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:19.279
Well, we're 10 minutes into the podcast.
00:32:20.319 --> 00:32:21.039
Oh my god.
00:32:21.119 --> 00:32:27.519
I'm like, hey, you have no idea what this fucking vape cost me for this strawberry banana elf bar.
00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:28.799
Vape me.
00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:31.200
What do you say when you want the vape?
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:32.400
It's my favorite thing ever.
00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:37.519
One time we were sitting there and I was like, we were both tired and exhausted.
00:32:37.759 --> 00:32:40.079
I go, hey, can I like I was trying to be nice?
00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:41.759
I was like, do you need and she goes, Vape?
00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:43.440
Dude, would you scream it?
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:47.279
Like, dude, when you say you're hungry, I know something you're like, we should probably get food now.
00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:53.440
But when you yell vape, I will turn someone's truck into being able to fucking take a puff off it.
00:32:53.519 --> 00:32:56.799
I'm like, I'm gonna punch this guy's truck, get his exhaust out.
00:32:57.519 --> 00:32:59.519
There's gotta be an elf bar in here somewhere.
00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:04.000
Like a pinata, you just fucking feed the shit out of it.
00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:05.680
Oh my god.
00:33:05.920 --> 00:33:10.880
But yeah, we tried to quit so many times, and uh yeah, I just I have to quit.
00:33:11.039 --> 00:33:15.119
It just doesn't, I just know that it doesn't end up anywhere good.
00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:15.839
You know what I mean?
00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:20.000
Yeah, I know when I breathe in and there's a sharp ice like pain in my lungs.
00:33:20.079 --> 00:33:22.160
Yeah, and I'm like, oh that's probably not good.
00:33:22.559 --> 00:33:27.279
Well, dude, isn't it weird whenever you're like, because I mean I don't drink as much now, so I will drink a lot more water.
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:28.400
Like you'll you'll see me.
00:33:28.480 --> 00:33:30.880
I drink more water than you do for sure on tour.
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:32.799
And I'll always be drinking water.
00:33:32.880 --> 00:33:39.519
But when you're like drinking alcohol, when you're like getting fucked up a lot, you'll go to drink water and you're like, ugh, can can I drink?
00:33:39.599 --> 00:33:42.160
You'll like be like, Can I die from drinking too much of this?
00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:48.480
You drink alcohol all the time, and it's kind of the same thing for like the vape or whatever, too.
00:33:48.799 --> 00:33:51.200
Yeah, do you I remember seeing that video of a guy who's blacked out?
00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:54.480
Or like whenever I do that, then I'm like, I don't need any other health or whatever.
00:33:55.279 --> 00:33:59.839
I remember I saw a video on TikTok where this guy was like blacked out and his friend tried to give him water and he spit it back at him.
00:33:59.920 --> 00:34:01.039
It's the funniest fucking video.
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:02.960
I don't want that at all, dude.
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:03.519
No.
00:34:03.680 --> 00:34:06.640
That's like you know that you need it, but you won't take it.
00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:10.800
Yeah, you don't want yeah, when you want the vape, you're like, like air doesn't taste good.
00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:11.440
That's what I was saying.
00:34:11.519 --> 00:34:18.159
I was like, air, like I literally would be like, I'm like, this should feel good, and my body's like, but what if it was poison?
00:34:18.239 --> 00:34:19.920
Or what if it tasted like cherries?
00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:22.800
Cherry poison and it made you sleep chapter.
00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:25.119
Dude, we sleep so yeah, dude.
00:34:25.199 --> 00:34:28.480
You told me something you did the other day, and I've never noticed it.
00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:32.880
And it was you go, you because the other day I was like, I woke up and I was like, How'd you sleep, dude?
00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:34.239
And you're like, dude, I didn't sleep at all.
00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:34.880
I was like, really?
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:38.079
You're like, yeah, and that happens on tour, you know, but sometimes we'll both like get fucked up.
00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:42.159
Like, I feel like I can't sleep when we get there, sometimes during the day, and you'll be able to nap and I can't.
00:34:42.960 --> 00:34:48.960
But you went to sleep, and uh fuck, I totally just forgot what I was talking about.
00:34:49.119 --> 00:34:50.639
Do you remember the story I was just gonna say?
00:34:50.960 --> 00:34:52.880
You were telling me something I do that you didn't notice.
00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:54.239
Yeah, that you do that I didn't.
00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:54.960
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:34:55.039 --> 00:35:00.000
That you said that whenever we you're like, hey, whenever I can't fall asleep, I'll do this thing.
00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:02.079
Do you want to do you want to tell them the trick?
00:35:02.239 --> 00:35:20.960
Cause and then because I heard you do this the other night, is then because I was going to sleep and I heard you do it, and I was like, I dude, I laughed, but like we both were like tired and I was like So if I I wake up in the middle of the night a lot, and when I don't want to be awake and I want to go back to sleep, I just hit my vape until I get lightheaded, like over.
00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:24.559
I just train rip it until I basically pass out.
00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:27.840
And it works like a fucking jar.
00:35:28.239 --> 00:35:35.679
Dude, I thought like, dude, I literally heard that and I thought like I thought like mice were building a factory next.
00:35:35.920 --> 00:35:39.920
I just heard like I'm like, what's going on?
00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:44.960
And then I just like keep seeing this like bl like very like dim, like pulsing light in the sky.
00:35:45.119 --> 00:35:48.079
It's just like and I know it's on zero.
00:35:48.320 --> 00:35:58.079
Dude, we've hit it on zero, and I know everyone else has it, people call it hidden technology and everything, but we've hit it on zero to where I'm like, I don't even think they know what the fuck they're talking.
00:35:58.480 --> 00:35:59.920
This is a battery now.
00:36:00.079 --> 00:36:01.679
I'm smoking a battery.
00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:07.519
Dude, wouldn't that be funny if eventually they make these illegal and one day I'm just like, dude, try this fucking double A.
00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:10.639
Like this fucking this is not bad, bro.
00:36:10.960 --> 00:36:12.000
Take a look at this.
00:36:12.159 --> 00:36:13.519
Oh my god, dude.
00:36:13.679 --> 00:36:26.320
Um, but yeah, I uh I feel like as soon as we're done, the only thing I always want to do is like there's so much things that will happen on tour that is tried, it's like hard to like like the hemorrhoid story or whatever, but like that has happened.
00:36:26.639 --> 00:36:31.519
Is there a favorite story that has happened where you're you can be making fun of me, it could be happening to both of us.
00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:35.199
But do you have like a favorite moment from tour or anything like that?
00:36:35.280 --> 00:36:35.920
I know I have a bunch.
00:36:36.159 --> 00:36:36.800
Dude, I have a bunch.
00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:39.360
My one of my top favorites is uh Rocks Don't Float.
00:36:39.519 --> 00:36:41.599
I will always think about Rocks Don't Float.
00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:43.679
Rocks Don't Float, bro.
00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:45.360
Might be the name of the episode.
00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:48.719
Dude, I fucking um we were by the Ohio River.
00:36:48.800 --> 00:36:52.079
We're about to be back in Ohio! Hey, end of the week.
00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:53.920
Uh this is last year in Ohio.
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:58.239
We were doing probably the same run of clubs, the Perrysburg, Columbus, and Dayton.
00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:02.639
And um the Ohio River's fucking disgusting if you've ever seen it.
00:37:02.719 --> 00:37:03.599
I don't even know if that's called.
00:37:03.760 --> 00:37:04.960
Is that called the Ohio River?
00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:05.519
I don't know.
00:37:05.679 --> 00:37:09.119
You could tell by when we were down there, people are like, Is that a fart?
00:37:09.199 --> 00:37:09.840
Yeah.
00:37:11.199 --> 00:37:13.280
He said to get it on my I did.
00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:15.760
I thought you dragged it across the ramble.
00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:17.119
That was wild, bro.
00:37:17.280 --> 00:37:19.360
Dude, you're f- But for real, you have been eating more fiber.
00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:20.639
Your farts do sound healthy.
00:37:20.880 --> 00:37:21.119
Thank you.
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:22.079
They've been sound, yeah.
00:37:22.159 --> 00:37:25.199
But tell them what tell them about rocks don't float.
00:37:25.360 --> 00:37:29.760
Anyways, there was a fucking dead catfish in the water just floating right where I could grab it.
00:37:29.840 --> 00:37:30.800
So I grabbed it.
00:37:31.039 --> 00:37:32.639
It wasn't a cat, it was a smaller fish.
00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:33.599
It was a baby catfish.
00:37:33.679 --> 00:37:34.480
It was a little catfish.
00:37:34.559 --> 00:37:34.880
Oh, okay.
00:37:35.039 --> 00:37:35.360
It was tiny.
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:36.159
Oh, yeah.
00:37:36.239 --> 00:37:39.519
I'm like, you didn't fucking like, what are you talking about?
00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:47.440
No, it was a tiny little fucking Ohio River poisoned catfish that was dying and it was floating next to a box of like Velveeta crackers or something.
00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:49.280
And I grabbed it- Velveeta?
00:37:49.440 --> 00:37:50.320
I don't know.
00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:54.159
And I grabbed it.
00:37:55.119 --> 00:37:58.480
And Bobby's disgusted, he's like, just disgust, you don't know what's in this rock.
00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:03.840
And I put it down, and I'm like, yeah, that's probably not so good.
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:05.760
There's a fucking turd floating in the water right there.
00:38:05.840 --> 00:38:08.800
And Bobby's like, no, that's not a turd, it's like a rock or something.
00:38:08.960 --> 00:38:11.679
And I was like, dude, rocks do not float.
00:38:12.079 --> 00:38:14.559
And I really was like, oh my god, they don't.
00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:15.679
Did you just fart again?
00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:16.960
No, that was my shoe.
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:17.920
No one will know though.
00:38:18.079 --> 00:38:20.400
Dude, that I remember, dude, we laughed so hard.
00:38:20.480 --> 00:38:22.400
And then we also realized it had flooded recently.
00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:24.000
So we were walking where the floodwaters were.
00:38:24.159 --> 00:38:26.320
We were like, everything's kind of gross around here.
00:38:26.559 --> 00:38:28.800
Like, we're like, man, no one's down by the riverfront.
00:38:29.039 --> 00:38:30.079
Like, yeah, that's shit water.
00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:31.519
It'll burn you.
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:34.320
I'm over here digging my hands and it and shit.
00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:35.119
Oh my god.
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:37.280
Oh, there was a full turd in there.
00:38:37.599 --> 00:38:38.719
Holy shit, dude.
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:39.920
That's one of my favorite things.
00:38:40.079 --> 00:38:41.360
One of my favorite things.
00:38:41.519 --> 00:38:44.320
Um, and this was truly a bad day.
00:38:44.559 --> 00:38:48.239
This was a day where we were like, dude, we were like a different size of the airport waiting.
00:38:48.400 --> 00:38:57.119
We were like, sometimes on tour you get stressed, but sometimes, sometimes you're both stressed, and everything's happened, so you can't like do anything.
00:38:57.440 --> 00:39:01.679
But you happened to be like, I don't feel very well.
00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:05.679
And you were like, I want to take medicine, and then you go, Do you think anyone recognizes me?
00:39:05.920 --> 00:39:08.880
And I go, you know, I think maybe, but I'm like, dude, I we're over here.
00:39:08.960 --> 00:39:09.599
I don't, I think you're fine.
00:39:09.679 --> 00:39:11.760
Like, I don't see anyone looking at you, and you go, I don't think so.
00:39:12.079 --> 00:39:12.559
But I feel bad.
00:39:12.639 --> 00:39:14.559
I feel like I'm gonna throw up and whatever.
00:39:14.719 --> 00:39:17.360
And then someone comes over and goes, Are you cactus tate?
00:39:17.599 --> 00:39:31.760
And so she sat by us, and then eventually you stood up and for whatever reason you had thrown up and you kind of threw up on your hoodie, and then someone else goes, Cactus Tate, and you just go, No, and kept walking.
00:39:31.840 --> 00:39:33.039
Isn't that what that's what I remember?
00:39:33.280 --> 00:39:33.840
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:39:33.920 --> 00:39:36.639
I can't, I can't, uh, I can't like why why would you?
00:39:36.800 --> 00:39:40.559
I know I had a enough throw up to notice because I threw away my favorite shirt.
00:39:40.639 --> 00:39:47.199
I had enough throw up on me to notice, and I don't know why they were like, Are you you smell like fucking cornmeal, bitch?
00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:48.400
You want to take a photo?
00:39:48.719 --> 00:39:51.519
So then that had happened, and then we split up, and that was the funny part.
00:39:51.599 --> 00:39:54.719
I thought that was funny that they were like, whatever, but then that was a bad day.
00:39:54.800 --> 00:39:57.760
I guess I'm pretty that was because then you came, then you were like texting me.
00:39:57.840 --> 00:39:59.679
You're like, I just threw up all over myself.
00:39:59.760 --> 00:40:01.119
Can you go buy me a hoodie?
00:40:01.280 --> 00:40:06.400
And I'm like, Yeah, but I was also, did you oh, you want me to come over by you right now?
00:40:06.480 --> 00:40:08.239
Like it was like a stressful ass day.
00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:13.920
And then I do care about you so much that I went to buy it, and I knew Keen's favorite team was the uh, he loves the Steelers, right?
00:40:14.400 --> 00:40:16.480
But then you'll buy him what will you Saints?
00:40:16.559 --> 00:40:18.960
You'll buy him Saints stuff because you always forget and they're whatever.
00:40:19.119 --> 00:40:26.079
So I kept trying to remember that, and then I kept seeing a Padres thing, and then I'm thinking about, well, should I get her one she could wear now that Keen could have?
00:40:26.320 --> 00:40:31.679
And then I just remembered that you're sitting up there and you had covered in vomit, shaking.
00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:34.320
And then I'm like, I have to buy a hoodie.
00:40:34.480 --> 00:40:37.360
And I remember I came up and I was like trying to help you.
00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:40.800
That was like one of those days where we were both having a I was like, you don't know what happened to me.
00:40:40.880 --> 00:40:41.920
You're like, look at me.
00:40:42.079 --> 00:40:43.440
Yeah, we'd been through war.
00:40:43.599 --> 00:40:46.719
We're like, it was like D-Day for both of us.
00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:49.199
Yeah, that was that was definitely a bad one.
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:54.639
But um, dude, I have the most fun on the road with you because you're definitely you're one of my favorite uh people.
00:40:54.960 --> 00:41:00.079
Like, I have a lot of friends that I do different bits with, but dude, we will find a bit out of everything.
00:41:00.159 --> 00:41:04.800
One of my favorite moments was when we we were still newly going on tour together.
00:41:05.039 --> 00:41:09.519
So, like, you know, you're like, I'm I'm also not used to flying.
00:41:09.599 --> 00:41:15.119
Like, I didn't fly that much, so we're always like paying attention, we're going to get our bags, and we're going and we're waiting for our bags.
00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:22.639
And this guy gets his bag off of the carousel, and it is like the worst luggage I've ever seen in my life.
00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:26.239
It is like you you could I you couldn't buy this luggage at a thrift store.
00:41:26.400 --> 00:41:44.639
It's shitty, it's covered half in duct tape, half in like postal tape, tape that you get like at the airport, and he gets it off the thing, and he's in such a hurry, and he takes like six steps and then stops and then looks at all of it, grabs his tag and compares it to his ticket and walks away.
00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:46.320
And we didn't say anything.
00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:53.360
We both started dying laughing, and she was like, Who the fuck has that exact same tag?
00:41:53.679 --> 00:41:55.280
Dude, oh my god, dude.
00:41:55.440 --> 00:41:58.239
It had like rebel flag and American flag duct tape.
00:41:58.400 --> 00:42:00.079
Like it was he put that there.
00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:01.519
Nobody else made that.
00:42:01.599 --> 00:42:02.639
You did not have to check.
00:42:02.719 --> 00:42:06.239
He's like, Oh, let me make sure this is my racism I'm taking.
00:42:07.599 --> 00:42:11.119
This could be someone else's somebody else's hate crime, nothing.
00:42:11.280 --> 00:42:12.320
Oh my god.
00:42:12.800 --> 00:42:14.159
Dude, oh my god.
00:42:14.239 --> 00:42:16.719
Yeah, that was, I remember that was fucking hilarious.
00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:19.519
Um, Canada where they were dragging all that wood.
00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:20.639
Let's look at that boat.
00:42:20.800 --> 00:42:23.039
It's dragging all that fucking wood.
00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:29.119
Because we went down, I think, because we were talking about like, yeah, maybe we should like film something, or we could like make something or do whatever.
00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:35.360
And then you go, yeah, maybe like you were like said something like, yeah, like maybe make something with this like boat or whatever, and you go, it's kind of poor.
00:42:35.519 --> 00:42:40.079
Look how much I am it was it looked like it looked like a glitch in the matrix.
00:42:40.159 --> 00:42:43.840
It looked like the wrong, it looked like if they let me and Tatum load the wood.
00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:52.159
They were like, we're like, we just did it in one skinny line, and then there was guys that were walking on it, and they started cheering at us and I think whistling a little bit.
00:42:52.400 --> 00:42:54.000
But they thought Bobby was a girl for sure.
00:42:54.159 --> 00:42:55.039
Oh, yeah, they probably did.
00:42:55.199 --> 00:43:00.320
But we were yelling at them, Bobby's like, honk the horn, and they're like, Bobby's like, yeah.
00:43:00.559 --> 00:43:03.280
Yeah, I love when people honk their fucking horns.
00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:06.480
Oh my god.
00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:07.920
Oh my god.
00:43:08.159 --> 00:43:09.840
Um, but yeah, we're on tour.
00:43:09.920 --> 00:43:16.559
Um, but probably every once in a while I would love to do more and catch up with you because I love, I mean, we could we catch up all the time, but I like everyone knowing what you're doing.
00:43:16.639 --> 00:43:19.199
And I'm excited to see the morning drop off.
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:21.920
Um, I know I've seen the first episode, and it's so good.
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:23.519
It's you don't have to lie to them.
00:43:23.679 --> 00:43:24.480
No, it's great.
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:26.000
It's the first episode.
00:43:26.239 --> 00:43:27.039
Don't do that.
00:43:27.280 --> 00:43:29.360
No, listen, I'm proud of myself.
00:43:29.760 --> 00:43:30.559
The very, very good.
00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:31.679
You do that with everything, though.
00:43:31.840 --> 00:43:33.599
You'll do that with everything, and then you'll be like, oh, I suck.
00:43:33.679 --> 00:43:36.400
And everyone's like, dude, you're awesome, and you're like, I'll fucking kill you.
00:43:36.559 --> 00:43:41.599
But then, but then you dude, you'll do this thing because I stay a lot with you guys.
00:43:41.679 --> 00:43:46.239
I stay with you, Keen, and Marlo, and you guys are all cooking for me and Marlo a lot.
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:50.000
Every once in a while, I'll cook, and you're everyone's like, This is chicken.
00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:51.519
It was good, it was good.
00:43:51.760 --> 00:43:56.480
But so, but you'll cook, and every time you'll do this thing where you'll be like, We're like eating, and we're like, dude, this is so good.
00:43:56.559 --> 00:43:59.039
And you're like, Yeah, I don't know, it's kind of dry.
00:43:59.119 --> 00:44:00.800
And we're like, no, it's not.
00:44:01.039 --> 00:44:03.519
And we always try to build you up and you won't accept it.
00:44:03.599 --> 00:44:07.039
But then I'll be like, you know, it is a little dry, and you're like, Yeah, I guess you fucking hate me.
00:44:07.280 --> 00:44:14.639
I guess you want me to, I guess I'll just fucking you take the meatloaf and fucking push your face into it, and me and Marlo are just like they get the little fucking kill.
00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:16.480
I'm like, I'm like, your mom's crazy.
00:44:16.719 --> 00:44:18.239
She goes, Little he told me about it.
00:44:18.400 --> 00:44:18.880
I know, dude.
00:44:18.960 --> 00:44:19.199
She does.
00:44:19.599 --> 00:44:21.840
She speaks clearer than anyone in the house, dude.
00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:25.039
The other day, dude, when she came home, she goes, I'd really like to repot my plant.
00:44:25.119 --> 00:44:28.239
I'm like, bro, you are so adult, dude.
00:44:28.320 --> 00:44:31.199
She's so like, she's still a kid, she's still like a kid at heart.
00:44:31.280 --> 00:44:33.840
She doesn't have that thing where someone's like, she's not trying to grow up too fast.
00:44:33.920 --> 00:44:34.880
She's just like very smart.
00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:38.559
Like, I'll try to say something childish to her, like while we're playing or something.
00:44:38.639 --> 00:44:40.960
She'll be like, I'm not a dragon.
00:44:41.519 --> 00:44:42.480
She was like, Okay, you know what?
00:44:42.559 --> 00:44:44.000
I didn't mean you're a dragon.
00:44:44.320 --> 00:44:46.880
She did uh fuck up a word yesterday pretty bad.
00:44:46.960 --> 00:44:49.440
Like she was trying to um say memorizing.
00:44:49.679 --> 00:44:49.920
Yeah.
00:44:50.079 --> 00:44:52.079
And she was saying, I I didn't supersize it, mom.
00:44:52.320 --> 00:44:52.719
I read it.
00:44:52.800 --> 00:44:53.519
I was like, What?
00:44:53.760 --> 00:44:55.199
Yeah, I'm not supersizing it.
00:44:55.280 --> 00:44:56.000
I'm like, what?
00:44:56.159 --> 00:44:56.559
Yeah.
00:44:56.800 --> 00:44:59.119
They do, they try words and you're like, nah, that's it.
00:44:59.280 --> 00:45:00.480
You go through TSA again.
00:45:00.639 --> 00:45:01.679
You can't bring that one through.
00:45:02.159 --> 00:45:04.400
Dude, do you think that and I mean this?
00:45:04.639 --> 00:45:09.519
Do you think that like sometimes because like kids like kids don't get as hurt?
00:45:09.599 --> 00:45:12.800
Because we're always watching them so we take care of them so they don't like understand stuff.
00:45:12.960 --> 00:45:18.480
Do you think sometimes when she gets like scary when we're all like don't do that or whatever?
00:45:18.639 --> 00:45:21.840
Do you think she's kind of testing the waters, or do you think she's just not thinking?
00:45:21.920 --> 00:45:23.519
Because the other day she scared me so much.
00:45:23.920 --> 00:45:28.639
Me and her were we she was like, we were like barely playing in like one space, then she started running around.
00:45:28.800 --> 00:45:30.960
I go, Hey, don't do that, you have a sucker in your mouth.
00:45:31.119 --> 00:45:50.960
And then she stopped and she was standing and she goes, she was standing on the bed and she goes like this, and then with the sucker in her mouth, puts both hands to her side and falls forward, and I go, No! And me yelling and her going like this, she slowed down, like put her and goes like this, and I was like, Marlo, dude, you almost fucking dark knight yourself.
00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:56.239
You almost did the Joker scene where it's like it's crazy, bro.
00:45:56.320 --> 00:45:58.719
So, do you think that like because you know her so well?
00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:05.039
Do you think that she's like seeing what she can do, or do you think she's just oblivious and isn't you because every time she gets hurt, she is shocked.
00:46:05.119 --> 00:46:08.000
Like she'll fall, and I'm like, Yeah, that's what happens when you run into a corner.
00:46:08.159 --> 00:46:09.039
Yeah, no, no, no.
00:46:09.119 --> 00:46:10.400
I think she's it's a little bit of both.
00:46:10.480 --> 00:46:11.440
I think she's testing it.
00:46:11.519 --> 00:46:14.159
She's got an authority, not an authority issue, she just is testing it.
00:46:14.239 --> 00:46:20.239
She's young, she definitely has an authority issue, but it's like the it's like punk rock, and it's like the most healthy one you're supposed to have.
00:46:20.400 --> 00:46:29.760
Like anytime you guys correct her, which I'm not just saying this for the podcast, it's very loving, it's very kind, it gives her space, and she'll be like, and be like, you can't cry.
00:46:29.840 --> 00:46:30.559
You're like this.
00:46:30.639 --> 00:46:33.440
You said that she goes, that's not why I am crying.
00:46:33.599 --> 00:46:38.320
I am crying because and she'll express herself and you guys give her space, and I always think that's sweet.
00:46:38.480 --> 00:46:39.599
Um, yeah, dude.
00:46:39.679 --> 00:46:44.719
I I think you guys are raised in a very cool, very, very like fun human being.
00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:46.639
Yeah, I think I definitely lucked out on that.
00:46:46.719 --> 00:46:48.639
She came out uh uh that cool from the beginning.
00:46:48.800 --> 00:46:56.320
I don't I I do I hear people say that sometimes with kids, but she I've seen so much of like Keen and her in you guys that it's like that's you guys too.
00:46:56.400 --> 00:47:02.320
So you can't just give credit to like you not if she would have just been born and lived in a field by herself, she wouldn't be doing all this.
00:47:02.400 --> 00:47:06.559
So you really do like help her and take care of her and like give her like the space to do it.
00:47:06.800 --> 00:47:11.360
Can I ask you, uh, I feel like I know the answer, so I don't think it's like that deep, but I've never asked you this.
00:47:11.519 --> 00:47:31.840
When we're all hanging out, is it helpful or not helpful when Marlo will like she'll get hurt in like a very trivial way, and you know she's not actually hurt, she doesn't need medical attention, she kind of just like was running and then like like hit her knee or something when she'll do that and I go, Hey, you're not allowed to cry, and she starts laughing, I go, see, you're faking it.
00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:38.639
And whenever I do that, and then she laughs and then kind of cries again and then says, Is that helpful, or am I kind of getting in the way?
00:47:38.719 --> 00:47:40.559
And you be as honest as you can because I'm not a parent.
00:47:40.639 --> 00:47:44.480
And so I always am trying to help, but also not trying to be like, help, if that makes sense.
00:47:44.719 --> 00:47:51.440
I think the biggest thing is our reaction really, really judges her reaction, and me and Keen get so scared, so it's nice to have someone to make a joke of it.
00:47:51.519 --> 00:47:54.239
So I think that it always helps because she doesn't cry as hard.
00:47:54.320 --> 00:47:59.199
So when we, I don't know, when you were sleeping the other day and Marlo ran face first and fucking all the magnets fell on her feet.
00:47:59.599 --> 00:48:00.079
Oh yeah.
00:48:00.320 --> 00:48:01.760
Did you hear the scream she let out?
00:48:02.000 --> 00:48:03.119
Uh yeah, I did.
00:48:03.199 --> 00:48:04.639
I heard that scream, but I thought you were.
00:48:04.880 --> 00:48:06.400
It was so loud it sounded like it was a joke.
00:48:06.480 --> 00:48:07.199
I thought she was joking.
00:48:07.519 --> 00:48:07.920
Sure, yeah.
00:48:08.239 --> 00:48:11.920
It was so that was such she panicked because me and Keen both ran to her, like, oh my god.
00:48:12.079 --> 00:48:14.480
And nobody was there to be like, ah, don't crap crap.
00:48:14.559 --> 00:48:16.639
And we were immediately like, you gotta go to the hospital.
00:48:17.039 --> 00:48:17.519
Yeah.
00:48:17.760 --> 00:48:18.000
Dude.
00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:23.039
And I need to work on that because I don't want, like, I don't want her to be afraid and be like, oh, I'm hurt, I'm gonna die.
00:48:23.199 --> 00:48:27.840
Because she does ask for a band-aid for everything, but it does, it scares you when she tries to kill herself because she does.
00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:28.159
Yeah.
00:48:28.320 --> 00:48:29.440
Well, my parents were like that.
00:48:29.519 --> 00:48:33.519
My parents, like, my mom would, if like I got hurt, they'd kind of be like toughen up a little bit.
00:48:33.760 --> 00:48:36.639
But then also so you never got to understand like if you were hurt or not.
00:48:36.719 --> 00:48:42.960
So I always feel like if playing with something like that too is just fun or whatever, because yeah, I never that's like the last thing I want to do.
00:48:43.039 --> 00:48:46.559
I don't even like I don't even like correcting Marlo if it's for her safety.
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:47.360
Does that make sense?
00:48:47.519 --> 00:48:47.679
Yeah.
00:48:47.840 --> 00:48:51.119
Like when we're hanging out and we're all like and she'll be like, hey, you want to jump on the trampoline?
00:48:51.280 --> 00:48:58.880
Like we'll be jumping, and then she'll like get to I'm like, hey, you gotta you gotta be careful or whatever, and she's like, and then I'll have to go, hey, I'm not like telling you what to do.
00:48:59.519 --> 00:49:04.639
Like, because I just I hate when I was a kid, nothing fucking pissed me off angry.
00:49:04.880 --> 00:49:13.360
If I if I was truly in the wrong and did something fucked up to like, you know, you like push a kid and an adult corrects you, I think that's kind of like a citizen's arrest, and that's fine.
00:49:13.519 --> 00:49:20.239
But whenever like uh an adult would just be like, Hey, you're being too loud, you're like, I don't know who the fuck you are.
00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:21.039
You know what I mean?
00:49:21.119 --> 00:49:22.880
Like, so I never ever ever do that.
00:49:22.960 --> 00:49:31.360
Even if I know you guys would want it, I'm always just like I get that's actually the cool part of not having kids, is that she honestly she kind of takes the brunt of it for me sometimes.
00:49:31.440 --> 00:49:33.440
So like if she's getting in trouble, she'd be like, You can't be running.
00:49:33.599 --> 00:49:35.280
I'm like, We really can't be running.
00:49:35.440 --> 00:49:36.719
Yeah, you started it.
00:49:36.880 --> 00:49:38.320
You fucking can't be running, idiot.
00:49:38.639 --> 00:49:40.000
Fucking dumb ass look what you did.
00:49:40.159 --> 00:49:40.960
Yeah, yeah.
00:49:41.039 --> 00:49:42.639
No, I really wish she'd stop running in the house.
00:49:42.719 --> 00:49:46.639
She gets hurt almost every time, but she's just on fucking a dead level.
00:49:47.039 --> 00:49:48.000
Yeah, she does, yeah.
00:49:48.079 --> 00:50:00.400
She well, we and then she also like, dude, that's the only time it's like hard being a parent, I'm sure, is like, because you saw me the other day, and I couldn't calm down quicker than you guys whenever you said stop and she was going into the street because there was a car and she didn't.
00:50:01.360 --> 00:50:15.360
And I saw it, and I literally, dude, I swear to God, because I think I was sitting by Keen and you were by her, and you'll stop, and she didn't, and then everyone like lunged forward, and I swear to God, go, like I couldn't, like I I was like, dude, because that's that is just oh my god.
00:50:15.440 --> 00:50:17.920
And people drive so fucking fast by your house.
00:50:18.239 --> 00:50:18.880
Yeah!
00:50:19.440 --> 00:50:20.400
That was a good one, dude.
00:50:20.480 --> 00:50:23.360
You have been you have been putting me to shame, brother.
00:50:23.519 --> 00:50:26.000
Dude, I have this podcast is worth money now.
00:50:27.760 --> 00:50:30.480
Hey, could you send me that microphone?
00:50:32.079 --> 00:50:32.800
I think that's great.
00:50:33.199 --> 00:50:34.559
No guarantee which hole it came from, though.
00:50:35.440 --> 00:50:36.639
That one was the butt.
00:50:36.800 --> 00:50:40.000
If it wasn't the butt, that was crazy.
00:50:40.639 --> 00:50:43.039
You need to wipe both of them again.
00:50:44.159 --> 00:50:45.039
Oh my god.
00:50:45.599 --> 00:50:47.519
But uh, yeah, is there anything else you want to promote?
00:50:47.599 --> 00:50:50.880
And then maybe we'll do uh we'll do our dates and I might keep it at the end or put them at the beginning.
00:50:51.039 --> 00:50:51.440
Who knows?
00:50:51.599 --> 00:50:52.639
No, we're just on tour.
00:50:52.800 --> 00:50:53.519
Keep up with us.
00:50:53.760 --> 00:51:00.000
Coming up on uh we're going to Appleton, Ohio's, Kentucky, Louisville's.
00:51:00.239 --> 00:51:01.360
I don't know the exact dates.
00:51:01.599 --> 00:51:01.840
I do.
00:51:01.920 --> 00:51:03.119
You want to say them exactly?
00:51:04.719 --> 00:51:05.679
Uh yeah.
00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:06.639
Do you want to?
00:51:07.119 --> 00:51:07.360
Sure.
00:51:07.440 --> 00:51:08.079
Yeah, let's get it out.
00:51:08.480 --> 00:51:09.760
You want to get him out for the facts.
00:51:10.079 --> 00:51:10.960
Just get him out for the facts.
00:51:11.119 --> 00:51:11.360
Yeah.
00:51:11.679 --> 00:51:14.880
Okay, so this weekend, where can you see us, Cactus Tate?
00:51:15.039 --> 00:51:20.800
We'll be at the uh Skyline Comedy Club in Appleton, Wisconsin, the 14th and the 15th of November.
00:51:21.199 --> 00:51:27.199
And then November 18th, we will be uh doing our Ohio run, and on the 18th, we will be in Perrysburg, Ohio.
00:51:27.360 --> 00:51:27.679
Mm-hmm.
00:51:27.840 --> 00:51:29.840
Then Columbus and then Dayton.
00:51:30.079 --> 00:51:30.480
Yes.
00:51:30.719 --> 00:51:35.039
And then December 3rd, we'll be in Louisville, Kentucky.
00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:40.000
Louisville, and then the fourth is uh Fort Wayne, yeah.
00:51:40.320 --> 00:51:41.280
Let me double check that.
00:51:41.360 --> 00:51:45.599
They definitely messed up the dates on the website the other day, so let me make sure that's not swapped.
00:51:45.840 --> 00:51:47.840
Yeah, let's make sure that's not messed up right now.
00:51:48.000 --> 00:51:48.639
Let's check that out.
00:51:48.880 --> 00:51:51.280
Fort Wayne on the third and Louisville on the fourth.
00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:52.800
They swapped it.
00:51:53.039 --> 00:51:53.360
Okay.
00:51:53.599 --> 00:51:54.159
Sorry.
00:51:54.559 --> 00:51:55.039
Sorry.
00:51:55.199 --> 00:51:57.599
Also, I made a post and I'm not gonna change it.
00:51:58.719 --> 00:51:59.360
Fuck it.
00:51:59.519 --> 00:52:00.639
I forgot that they attended that.
00:52:01.599 --> 00:52:02.960
Yeah, if you're you're you'll probably check.
00:52:03.519 --> 00:52:05.679
The dates are right on the website that you purchased the ticket on.
00:52:05.920 --> 00:52:07.199
Yeah, who knows if we'll even post.
00:52:07.360 --> 00:52:07.679
All right.
00:52:10.320 --> 00:52:10.800
All right.
00:52:11.039 --> 00:52:11.840
You guys are awesome.
00:52:11.920 --> 00:52:12.239
Thank you.
00:52:12.320 --> 00:52:12.719
Take care.
00:52:12.960 --> 00:52:13.280
Bye.
00:52:15.199 --> 00:52:15.599
Fuck you.