Life With Limits

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You guys can have a seat.
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Thank you.
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That's very sweet of you.
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It's good to be with you this morning.
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Welcome, welcome.
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My name is Mac.
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I'm one of the pastors on our team.
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And if you're new or visiting and wondering, you know, what's happening?
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Well, I I had a med medical emergency back in June, almost died.
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And this is my first Sunday back.
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I've been kind of recouping and recovering.
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And so when I say it's good to be with you, I really mean that.
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I have missed you guys.
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I love you, and it's so good to be in your presence.
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Today I want to I want to share the story of what happened, what I've been experiencing.
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But first, I need to issue some thank yous.
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The first one is I want to be sure to thank our staff and our leadership team because they've done a remarkable job.
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Really, from the moment I went down, they stepped up.
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Our uh leadership team has been extra present uh throughout the summer and been very involved, and so they've done a tremendous job.
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Our staff has continued to function as just the highest level.
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They're so competent and good at what they do.
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They uh hosted numerous events uh throughout the summer in my absence, Moonlit Movies and Kids Fest and the Dock Howden's game.
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They just didn't skip a beat.
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And I really want to give a special thank you to Katie and Cameron because they shared or shouldered the bulk of the responsibility in my absence going between the staff and the leadership team.
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So let's give them a round of applause.
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I this is not an exaggeration.
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I did not waste a single second worrying about how things were going here.
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Um, not a single second.
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I knew that you guys were gonna be okay.
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I knew that the staff had it, and part of that is because of our team model of leadership and because we have such an incredible staff, and that just served as a gift to me because it allowed me to focus on what I needed to do to recover in this season.
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I've been saying for years uh not to build the church around me.
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I think it's a mistake to build a church around a lead pastor.
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I've been saying for many years, what are you gonna do if I get hit by a beer truck on the way home from work?
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Well, it turns out it wasn't a beer truck, it was a subarachnoid brain hemorrhage, but you get the point, right?
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Um, the church is to be built on Jesus Christ, not a pastor, a leader, or a personality.
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And I'll just tell you, I'll have more to say about this in a bit, but I am more committed to that truth and our team model of leadership coming out of my experience this summer.
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So a big thank you to our staff and leadership team.
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And then, secondly, I just want to thank you all for your care and your support, your love and kindness in this season.
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Um, as I step back and think about all the care I've received from you all, it's it's really quite humbling.
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And it's come in so many different forms.
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So, first of all, I want to thank you for your prayers.
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Um, I really believe that prayer saved my life, and I'll talk about that in a moment.
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But many of you began praying from the moment you heard what was going on and have continued to pray for me daily.
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And I'm so grateful for that.
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I'm thankful for all the cards you've sent.
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I've got a stack of cards next to where I read in my living room.
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My boys call it my fan mail.
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Uh, I correct them and it's like, no, this is family mail.
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These are all people who I actually know and and who care about me.
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But oftentimes when I'm having a hard moment, I'll just reach for one of those cards and and read it for a source of encouragement.
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You guys have been so kind.
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Thank you for the meals.
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Um, I have no awareness of this, but apparently, when I was in the hospital, um, a meal train, Echo Schaefer, set up a meal train, and within minutes it was filled.
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And that was just such a gift to our family in this season to not have to worry about what meals should we eat and going grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning.
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It was just such a gift to be able to um to receive that from you all.
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And then thank you for your generosity.
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Um, many of you in your card sent gift cards to restaurants and to Uber Eats and DoorDash and things like that, uh, gas cards.
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They've just been so helpful.
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Ann Knutson um set up an account at Bank 59 to offset our our medical bills, and we can't see who or what people gave, but clearly you guys have given generously, and that is gonna be such a help.
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You guys, I'll just tell you, my eyes are open in a new way to how broken our medical system is.
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You know how you get those bills, and it tells you, like, here's what it is before insurance.
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Like, it's over double our house.
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The more, you know, the cost of our house.
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It's insane.
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And so I just thank you for your generosity and helping us in this season.
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Uh, from the bottom of my heart, on behalf of Josie and I, we feel deeply loved.
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We loved all, we love all of you, and we want to thank you.
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Uh, so I want to share the story of what happened, and I want to frame this story around uh God's grace and what I sense God was up to in the middle of this.
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And I say sense because the truth is whenever we're talking about what God is or isn't doing, we need to exercise humility.
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Because none of us know for certain, right?
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None of us have uh crystal clear insight into what God is or isn't doing in any particular moment.
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The best we can do is sort of like piece it together and say, hey, I sense God was doing this or that.
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For me, as I look at the past few months, um, could some of the things I'm about to share just be mere coincidence?
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Yes.
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But based on how I've experienced God at work throughout my life and how I'm viewing what happened, all I can tell you is that God's grace was more than active in this season.
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Scripture also says that every good and perfect gift comes from above.
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And I will tell you, I'm seeing life more as a gift than I did a few months ago.
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And so I'm just going to give God credit and praise for the way he intervened on my behalf.
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So here's the first grace is that I was at home when this medical emergency took place.
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And I say that because Josie and I had just returned from Europe with our two older boys just earlier in the week.
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And there have been numerous times when Josie and I have looked at each other and said, Do you realize what a mess this would be if this had happened overseas?
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Like it would have been infinitely more complicated than it already has been.
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Josie and I got home on a Sunday night and I hit the ground running, worked Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
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We had our volunteer appreciation banquet on Wednesday night.
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I was there for that.
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And then Thursday morning I woke up and it was just like any other morning.
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I started the day with a cup of coffee and prayer and scripture, and then after that, I got uh into workout gear and I went downstairs in our basement.
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We have a little uh home gym there, and I work out quite a bit, uh probably four or five times a week.
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I'm I'm hitting it, and so this is just like any other morning for me.
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I did all the normal warm-up stuff, um, mobility and stretching and all of it.
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And then I hit go on the workout.
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And about two to three minutes in, uh I got the worst headache of my life, and I had to stop, which is a little bit different for me because I've experienced discomfort in a workout, and usually I just keep going.
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Like you just work through it, but this time I had to stop.
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And here's the second grace is that Josie was home.
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She wasn't supposed to be home.
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She was scheduled to work at the hospital that day, and she got called off that morning, which hardly ever happens.
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I mean, maybe a couple times a year, she'll get a phone call that says, Oh, we're short on patients today, we don't need you.
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Well, this is one of those mornings where she got called off.
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So she was home and she was getting Griffin ready for summer school.
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And she actually had walked down into the basement to get Griffin right when I stopped the workout and I said, Hey, there's something wrong.
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I've got like a really bad headache that just came on rather suddenly.
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And she kind of did some basic assessments and she's like, Okay, well, here's the deal.
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I'm gonna take Griffin to summer school.
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If you're not feeling better by the time I get back, we're gonna have to take you to the hospital.
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And I'll just put it this way by the time she got Griffin's shoes on, she was instructing me to get into the car.
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Like we're headed to the hospital.
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I've talked to a few of you who have said, Well, how did you know?
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Because you know, my husband's really stubborn and he just kind of pushes through it.
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So, how do you know how'd you know that you need to go to the hospital?
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Well, um, you you'll know, okay, if this happens to you, God forbid you'll know.
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Um, it was by the time I got to the hospital, I was shaking involuntarily from how bad the pain was.
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I could barely speak, and I had started vomiting.
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So there was no like, hey, just stay at home and tough it out.
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Like, you'll know, okay?
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So I get to the hospital, they do some basic like testing, uh, my vitals and things like that, and then they get me into a CT scan where they look at my brain, and this is where things get real.
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I'm waiting back in the room for the results.
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The doctor comes in, and um, you could tell he was very serious.
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He it looked like he had just seen a ghost, like his face was very serious, almost white, and he said, Um, you've got a brain hemorrhage, it looks like an aneurysm.
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This is very serious, and we can't treat you here.
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We already have a helicopter in route to take you to St.
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Luke's.
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This is a life-threatening emergency.
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And I remember looking at him and I said, Am I gonna be okay?
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And he could give me no assurances.
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He said, The next few hours will be critical.
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That's all he could say.
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And at that moment, I could hear Josie calling people, uh, closest family and friends, just letting them know what was happening and asking them uh to begin praying.
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They began to give me medication for the pain at that point and then prep me for transportation.
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And then here's the third grace.
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Um, on the flight, the helicopter ride, between hospitals, there were two nurses who were in charge of caring or watching over me during that that flight.
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And one of them is part of our church, uh, Hannah Webb.
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She um she's been coming to our church for a long time, and I actually officiated her wedding to Eric out in Wyoming in the in the Tetons a few years ago.
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And I name that as a grace because when you have to say goodbye to your wife and you're being wheeled away and you don't know if you're going to make it, um, it's comforting to know that you're you're with someone who still cares about you and knows you and loves you and cares about you.
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At no point uh did I feel alone, but rather I felt enveloped by community and by God's love.
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I wish I could have enjoyed the helicopter ride a little bit more.
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I'd never been on a helicopter, but it was actually quite miserable.
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Um I remember landing and then being sort of shuttled off the helicopter into the hospital.
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There was a team of doctors and nurses waiting for me, like a sea of people, and there was essentially a quick introduction.
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Here's what we're gonna do, and then it was lights out for me.
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I don't remember anything after that.
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And this is where the major grace comes in.
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Uh, they did an angiogram of my brain, and the technology to me blows me away.
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They essentially went a ca a catheter through my wrist up into my brain to see what was going on.
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And they could clearly see that there was a brain bleed um in the like blood filling the space in my brain, especially in the midbrain.
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Um, but here's the grace is that whatever caused it had inexplicably stopped and clotted on its own.
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Uh, in other words, I couldn't find an aneurysm or any structural abnormality, whatever had caused the bleeding had resolved all on its own.
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And so I didn't need any surgical intervention, a coil or a clip or some of the other things that they have to do.
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The b the bleeding had stopped.
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And I think that that was a direct result of prayer.
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So many people were praying in that moment.
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I actually ran into a woman who said she was playing golf that morning, and the helicopter flew right over where her and her friend were playing golf, and they just felt this um strong urge to pray for whoever was on it, not knowing that it was me.
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Um, so I don't know.
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Maybe that happens occasionally where a brain bleed just stops.
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Uh, could it be coincidence?
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I think it's it's more than that.
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And then I just see God's grace continually being poured out after that.
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Because just because you survive a brain hemorrhage doesn't mean you're out of the woods.
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There's tons of different complications that can develop as you're recovering in the days and the weeks that follow.
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And so after a brain bleed, they're they're sort of monitoring for hydrocephalus, which is the swelling of the brain.
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Anytime you have extra fluid or swelling or pressure in your brain, it's not good because it's an enclosed space.
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And so for the first several days, um, they're sort of monitoring how my brain is doing.
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A team was on sort of standby uh to put a brain drain in.
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They like literally drill into your skull to relieve pressure.
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Well, I didn't need that.
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The swelling sort of stayed in a healthy uh place, and I didn't need a brain drain.
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And I'm grateful for that because that would have changed the trajectory of my recovery quite a bit.
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Then after you kind of get through that, they're monitoring for what are called vasospasms.
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Uh, vasospasms are when the blood vessels in your brain they don't like coming into contact with blood, and so when they do, they can sort of freak out, restrict blood flow, and it can cause a stroke.
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And there's sort of peak windows when that happens after a brain hemorrhage, day three to eight and day 11 to 14.
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And so every day I was in the hospital, they're coming in to do like these little Dopplers to look at all the vessels in my brain to see what they're doing and if I'm at risk for a vasospasm.
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Every day the numbers are coming back uh within a healthy range, and I never experienced a spasm.
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That's God's grace.
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And then finally, I'll just name that I had no major deficits.
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Many people who experience a subarachnoid brain hemorrhage will have uh gross motor problems afterwards.
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They might have to learn how to walk again, um, they might have to learn how to talk again.
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Uh cognitive deficits can be very um very common, and I didn't experience any of that.
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I'm just so grateful.
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It's almost like at every juncture where things could have gone this way or that way, things consistently landed in my favor, and I was able to avoid some major comp um complications that would have compromised my health and my recovery.
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When I first got to the hospital, they told me you'll be here for 21 days.
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Um I was released on day 12 with zero restrictions, uh, two days before Josie and I's 21st wedding anniversary.
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When I was released, I still was getting migraines and intense headaches, um, all to be expected.
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And I asked them, how long will these headaches continue?
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They said, for sure, weeks, if not months.
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And within a week of being home, I was off all pain medication.
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Uh the headaches had largely subsided.
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It still got occasional headaches here and there, but for the most part, very, very manageable.
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And so I just, again, could all this be coincidence, I suppose, but I just see God's grace uh all over this and want to thank Him and give credit for preserving my life.
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Now I still have limitations.
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Um, limitations are different than restrictions.
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So I have zero restrictions, I can do essentially anything, um, but I do have limitations from where I'm at in my healing process.
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And my medical team told me all of these are normal, so these are to be expected, and each one of these will improve with time, and they are.
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But the first one is some short-term memory issues.
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Um, I'm having a hard time remembering sort of trivial details and interactions.
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So I'll give you an example.
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Uh, the first day I got home from the hospital, uh, my mom, who is here, came over and I showed her the gift that Josie and the boys got me for Father's Day.
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It was uh an Italian mocha express pot.
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Makes the best coffee ever.
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And I was so excited about it, and so I'm showing her my mocha pot.
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This thing is awesome, you need to get one, you haven't lived yet, like all the things.
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And uh, and that was it.
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And then she stopped by maybe three or four days later, and I have you seen the mocha pot?
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Like we redid the interaction, and I had no recollection that I had already had this interaction with her.
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Um now, what's fascinating as I've tried to get to understand why short-term memory is the body and the brain are it's incredible.
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When you have an injury, your body wants to heal itself.
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God has designed it that way, and that includes your brain.
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And not only does it want to heal you, but it knows how to heal itself.
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And without asking your permission or my permission, it actually prioritizes what's most important in the healing process.
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And so, what the medical team told me is the reason why you're not remembering things is because all of the available resources are going towards healing this part of your brain, and that means letting go of things that are important.
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And then as it heals, some of that other stuff will return, and it has been.
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I'm experiencing uh a much better memory and retention than I did when I first got home.
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Now, the other major limitation uh that I'm still experiencing is just capacity.
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And the way I'd explain it is this um if you're driving a car and you step on the gas, the gas represents everything you'd normally be able to do.
00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:10.720
Um, I can punch the gas, I can do everything that I'd normally be able to do with the same level of competency as before.
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:16.720
The capacity issue is that I'm having to stop for gas way more frequently.
00:19:16.880 --> 00:19:19.440
It's like the gas tank is smaller.
00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:25.039
And so I'll be going and doing all the normal things and then I'll just get hit with exhaustion.
00:19:25.279 --> 00:19:28.799
So I'm still having to budget a lot of time for sleep every night.
00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:34.160
It's not uncommon for me to have to pull away and like take a nap during the day to recharge.
00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:42.319
The gas pedal is the same, I can still do everything I normally would be, but the best thing I can do for my brain is to sleep.
00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:45.119
And my body often demands it.
00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:52.319
So I will probably still need some continued grace uh from you all as I work my way back to work.
00:19:52.480 --> 00:19:58.079
Over the last few weeks, I've been putting close to full-time hours in in the in the office, so they're seeing me around.
00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:03.759
I'll tell you what I'm most nervous about is the foyer on Sunday mornings.
00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:05.839
Uh, because it's a lot.
00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:08.799
Like you all are a lot, okay?
00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:28.000
Uh the medical team told me, they said, listen, you preparing and delivering a sermon will be way easier uh than all sorts of extemporaneous interactions on a Sunday, one right after another, because I can prepare for this and deliver it largely on my terms.
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:31.599
Whereas this is all like real-time uh presence.
00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:34.480
So I'm a little bit uh nervous about that.
00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:40.720
And I want to give you all some tips about how you can help me in this season, okay?
00:20:40.960 --> 00:20:42.400
Are you ready for this?
00:20:42.640 --> 00:20:48.720
Uh so I have four tips uh for you all to help me and extend to me some grace in this season.
00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:50.880
Number one, don't avoid me.
00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:55.519
I know many of you don't want to be a burden, and I so appreciate that.
00:20:55.759 --> 00:20:59.440
But ignoring me or ghosting me also isn't helpful.
00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:01.119
That's rude, okay?
00:21:01.359 --> 00:21:08.319
So just know that like uh positive interactions uh fill my bucket, it's good for me.
00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:12.559
Uh I really do appreciate having good interactions with you all.
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:19.279
Secondly, uh tip number two is let's just keep the conversations a little bit on the shorter side.
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:21.200
Keep the conversations short.
00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:31.119
Um, because again, I'm still building capacity, longer conversations are are more fatiguing, and when there's a lot of them in a row, that's that's super taxing.
00:21:31.599 --> 00:21:40.160
And I'll just say this if I exit a conversation, if I cut a conversation short, hear me on this, please don't take it personally.
00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:45.920
If there were ever a time where it's like, it's not you, it's me, this is it, okay?
00:21:46.079 --> 00:21:52.240
Don't take it personally, it's not you, it's just that I've reached my max, I'm at capacity, and I need to regather.
00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:53.599
So don't avoid me.
00:21:53.759 --> 00:21:56.079
Let's keep the conversations uh short.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.759
Number three, uh, don't give me medical advice.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:00.960
Advice.
00:22:02.079 --> 00:22:04.000
And I know this is so hard.
00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:08.160
It is so hard because you all care and you have Chat GPT.
00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:08.880
Okay?
00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:11.599
But here's what I want you to know.
00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:13.599
I've got a great medical team.
00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:16.079
I also have Chat GPT, by the way.
00:22:16.319 --> 00:22:21.440
And I live with a uh a nurse, okay, who cares a lot more than you do.
00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:27.200
So I've got people around me monitoring pretty much everything I do.
00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:29.920
So uh save the medical advice.
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:35.200
And then finally, uh I shouldn't have to say this, but I feel like I do because it's happened uh several times now.
00:22:35.279 --> 00:22:43.599
Don't share scary medical stories with me, uh, especially involving other people with traumatic brain injuries, okay?
00:22:43.680 --> 00:22:47.839
I'm just gonna be honest, that's still a little triggering for me, and I don't appreciate that.
00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:50.799
So just keep those stories to yourself.
00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:58.160
But you can absolutely come up, uh say hi, um, interact positively, that fills my bucket and is good for my recovery.
00:22:58.319 --> 00:22:58.799
Sound good?
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:00.240
Okay.
00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:09.920
All right, I want to turn a corner and do some preaching this morning, and I want to make this turn by confessing something to you.
00:23:10.079 --> 00:23:15.279
It probably won't be surprising to any one of you who know me, but I don't like limits.
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:19.759
I, quite frankly, uh can't stand them.
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:21.519
I don't like any of this.
00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:23.119
I don't like this season at all.
00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:30.960
I don't like being incapacitated or sidelined, I don't like having or accepting or embracing limits at all.
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:34.880
Some of this uh really goes back to my first formation.
00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:42.559
I grew up in a house where you don't accept limitations, you challenge the snot out of them, and then you break them.
00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:56.079
Um and so the whole idea, my mentality growing up was when you encounter a limitation, you push harder so that what currently is limiting you uh today isn't a limit tomorrow.
00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:59.759
Uh, just an example, my dad's here, he'll appreciate this.
00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:08.559
When he was teaching me how to slalom water ski as a kid, he would say things like, Hey, if you don't fall on this next run, you haven't learned anything.
00:24:08.799 --> 00:24:12.319
Which is a bit of an exaggeration because you can learn without falling.
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:16.079
But uh the point is, is like, don't be afraid to fail.
00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:26.640
Don't be afraid to wipe out because you'll discover where your limit is, and then you'll learn and grow from it so that tomorrow, what is limiting you today will limit you no longer.
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:31.279
I was recently watching a documentary on Raphael Nadal.
00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:34.240
It's on Netflix, it's a four-episode series.
00:24:34.319 --> 00:24:35.759
I'd highly recommend it.
00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:38.559
But he takes this mentality to an extreme.
00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:40.880
He had no off switch whatsoever.
00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:49.039
At one point in the documentary, his left foot is so jacked up he shouldn't be playing.
00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:54.640
And he has his doctor basically numb his entire foot.
00:24:54.960 --> 00:25:02.240
So he, where everybody else would have said, Yep, I'm out for this tournament, he's playing with a foot he can't even feel.
00:25:02.640 --> 00:25:10.400
And then it cuts to him sort of dialoguing or talking about this decision, and he, this is the funniest phrase, I keep repeating it to Josie.
00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:13.599
He goes, I was just exploring my limits.
00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:19.920
And so, and I'm just telling you, that makes so much sense to me.
00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:25.920
Um, it might be sick and twisted, but like that mentality resonates.
00:25:26.559 --> 00:25:33.680
Where you push and you challenge your limits, so that's what's limiting you today, isn't limiting you tomorrow.
00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:38.000
And this mentality has served me so well in life.
00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:46.160
And it's really unhelpful when you're recovering from a subarachnoid brain hemorrhage, and the best thing you can do is nap.
00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:48.319
Not helpful at all.
00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:49.839
I don't like limits.
00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:54.720
I'd much rather be capable and self-sufficient.
00:25:55.519 --> 00:26:08.799
And yet, here's how Jesus puts it in the opening line of his most famous uh sermon, the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5.1, he says, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:11.920
Blessed are the poor in spirit.
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:16.400
Eugene Peterson, one of my heroes, translates it this way in the message.
00:26:16.480 --> 00:26:20.240
He says, You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope.
00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:23.759
You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope.
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:28.160
With less of you, there's more of God and his rule.
00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:36.480
Not only are limitations and the experience of limitations just part of what it means to be a human.
00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:49.839
If you're human, you have limitations, but the point that Jesus is making in the opening of his sermon is that it's also essential to relationship with God and life in the kingdom.
00:26:50.640 --> 00:27:00.079
And the reason why is because when you're at the end of your rope, when there's less of you, there's more room or space for God to work.
00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:04.799
There's less self-sufficiency and more God dependency.
00:27:05.119 --> 00:27:07.200
And so here's our bottom line for today.
00:27:07.359 --> 00:27:15.839
If there's one thing you walk away with today, let it be this: that embracing limits is how we receive God's limitless power.
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:26.400
Like the gateway to experiencing God's strength and power in your life is to embrace limitation and weakness.
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:35.440
When you embrace your limits and then depend on God, that's when you receive a power that you don't have in and of yourself.
00:27:35.920 --> 00:27:42.720
We're in a sermon series right now called Maturing in the Mess, where we're going through 1 Corinthians.
00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:52.960
And we're all the way through chapter 5 at this point, which by the way, can we thank Drew and all the people who preached this summer in my absence?
00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:54.240
Can we thank them?
00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:11.680
So we're through chapter 5, and what I want you to know is that this theme of weakness is not a minor uh theme in Corinthians, the first few chapters, but it is like the major theme.
00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:13.440
It's the predominant theme.
00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:26.240
And so I want to review this theme, sort of get up on the balcony and review this theme through the first part of Corinthians so we can kind of see what Paul is doing from a bigger picture perspective.
00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:33.279
Remember the context is that the Corinthian community is confused about spiritual maturity.
00:28:33.680 --> 00:28:37.440
Their understanding of maturity is backwards.
00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:48.559
They think that being spiritually mature is all about strength and self-sufficiency and having influence and appearing impressive.
00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:56.640
And because this is their definition of maturity, this is what they're looking for from their leaders.
00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:09.920
They're looking for impressive leaders, they're looking for leaders who are eloquent with their words, they're looking for leaders who have wisdom and influence and charisma, leaders who are powerful.
00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:19.759
And now the Corinthian church is divided over which leaders they think best embody or exhibit those characteristics.
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:30.799
So some of them are still loyal to Paul because he founded the church, others have been swept away and are impressed with Apollos, others are following Caphas, like it is a mess.
00:29:31.599 --> 00:29:34.400
And what does Paul do about this mess?
00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:36.000
What does he do?
00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:38.400
Well, notice what he doesn't do.
00:29:39.599 --> 00:29:48.799
Paul doesn't try to win the Corinthians over by embodying all these characteristics of what they're associating with maturity.
00:29:48.960 --> 00:30:03.359
He doesn't get out his resume, uh, he doesn't point to his extensive education, he doesn't give them the highlight reel of all of his accomplishments or achievements, he doesn't do any of that, he just points to Jesus.
00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:10.240
And more specifically, he points to Jesus on the cross, Christ crucified.
00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:11.039
Why?
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:25.759
Because this is the ultimate revelation of God, Jesus on the cross, and while the cross appears foolish and weak, in fact, it is the wisdom and the power of God on full display.
00:30:25.839 --> 00:30:27.039
That's chapter one.
00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:33.279
The thing you think is weak and foolish is in fact the wisdom and the power of God.
00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:41.359
And then in chapter two, Paul basically explains that his ministry matches the message of the cross.
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:55.920
He's going, hey, look, when I came to Corinth, Paul founded the Corinthian congregation, he didn't try to appear impressive, he didn't try to win this church over with eloquent communication, he didn't try to do any of that.
00:30:56.240 --> 00:31:03.440
He simply preached Christ crucified, and then he embodied cruciformity, he embodied weakness.
00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:05.839
And there was a reason for this.
00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:09.839
He didn't want them to put their faith in him as a leader.
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:17.359
And so he intentionally embodies weakness in order to keep the spotlight on Jesus.
00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:18.880
That's chapter two.
00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:20.880
And then the theme just keeps going.
00:31:21.119 --> 00:31:25.680
Chapter three, Paul names that the leaders, leaders are just servants.
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:33.039
Any spiritual leader is just a servant who builds on the foundation, and the foundation is Jesus.
00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:37.920
So in chapter three, Paul is going, look, the foundation of the church is Jesus Christ.
00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:41.200
If you build on any other foundation, it is gonna topple over.
00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:48.240
And if you build on anything other than the way of Jesus, cruciformity, that's like building with wood, hay, and straw.
00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:51.359
It is not going to last, but it is gonna be burned up.
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:58.319
And so all these things you're looking for, charisma and influence and status, that is like wood, hay, and straw.
00:31:58.400 --> 00:32:02.480
If you're gonna build the church with that, it's ultimately not going to last.
00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:11.119
And so then in chapter four, Paul reiterates this by saying that they are to regard him and all leaders as servants.
00:32:12.160 --> 00:32:17.519
Here's how you're supposed to think about me, Paul says, as an apostle, is as a servant.
00:32:18.319 --> 00:32:23.119
And then he compares that to the Corinthians.
00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:31.200
He's going, here you are wanting to experience influence and power and strength and affluence and all this stuff.
00:32:31.359 --> 00:32:37.200
And here are us, all the other apostles, and we're experiencing hardship and pain and suffering.
00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:40.400
And Paul challenges them, why don't you come join us?
00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:48.400
Stop chasing after that stuff, and instead come and follow me as I follow Christ.
00:32:49.119 --> 00:32:52.240
This is the logic of the first several chapters.
00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:58.640
Christ crucified, that is the gospel, it appears weak and foolish, but in fact it is the power of God.
00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:04.319
Then Paul says, Look, it shouldn't surprise you, my ministry matches the message of the cross.
00:33:04.480 --> 00:33:11.519
That's why I embody cruciformity, and then it culminates with this: so join me, because that's how you're supposed to be living too.
00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:14.480
The Corinthians wanted shiny leadership.
00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:17.039
Paul gives them cruciform leadership.
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:23.359
The Corinthians wanted something impressive, but Paul gives them something deeply dependent.
00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:26.000
The Corinthians want to see strength.
00:33:26.559 --> 00:33:28.559
Paul shows off weakness.
00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:29.599
Why?
00:33:29.920 --> 00:33:31.920
In order to show God's power.
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:37.119
Because if the Corinthians are impressed with Paul as a leader, they'll put their faith in Paul.
00:33:37.680 --> 00:33:45.680
But if the Corinthians see Paul's weakness, and yet God working through and beyond Paul's weakness, they'll put their trust in God.
00:33:45.839 --> 00:33:52.079
This is why weakness is not a disqualifier in the kingdom or in kingdom work.
00:33:52.480 --> 00:33:55.680
It's rather a prerequisite and it's to be the norm.
00:33:55.920 --> 00:34:03.440
Because when you reach the end of your rope, there's more room for God and for God to work in and through you.
00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:07.119
So that you can be filled with a power that goes beyond you.
00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:12.400
According to Paul in Ephesians 1, he says it's the same power that rose Jesus from the dead.
00:34:12.639 --> 00:34:15.199
This is how life in the kingdom works.
00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:18.400
It's not God, I'll do it and you watch.
00:34:19.599 --> 00:34:22.400
Nor is it God, you do it and I'll watch.
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:27.280
It's God, I'll do it and you'll do it through me.
00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:33.760
As I rely on your strength and your resourcing to give me what I don't have on my own.
00:34:33.920 --> 00:34:34.800
You see this?
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:36.320
It's not I do, you watch.
00:34:36.400 --> 00:34:37.519
It's not you do, I watch.
00:34:37.599 --> 00:34:40.880
It's you give me what I don't have and we'll do it together.
00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:47.519
The Corinthians really struggled to grasp weakness and dependency.
00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:49.920
So I want to read to you from 2 Corinthians.
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:52.960
So Paul had to send them another letter because they're such a mess.
00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:55.119
And once again, he's returning to this theme.
00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:57.039
Here's what he says in chapter 12.
00:34:57.199 --> 00:35:00.880
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited.
00:35:01.119 --> 00:35:04.559
Now notice what weakness does, it humbles us, right?
00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:07.280
It works against our arrogance.
00:35:07.519 --> 00:35:15.039
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me.
00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:18.800
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.
00:35:19.039 --> 00:35:25.360
But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:28.079
My power is made perfect in your weakness.
00:35:28.239 --> 00:35:34.159
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:44.480
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardship, and persecutions and difficulties, for when I am weak, then I am strong.
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:45.920
What's he getting at?
00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:49.679
When I am weak, that's when I experience God's strength.
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:53.840
Our weakness creates space for God's power.
00:35:54.639 --> 00:36:00.000
When we're weak, we can experience God's power if we depend upon Him.
00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:14.320
So then rather than resisting our weaknesses or pushing back against our limitations, they can actually become pathways to open ourselves up with deeper dependency on God to give us stuff that we don't have on our own.
00:36:14.639 --> 00:36:20.800
This is our bottom line for today that embracing our limits is how we receive God's limitless power.
00:36:21.360 --> 00:36:35.280
When you embrace your limits with God dependency, God gives you power and strength that you don't have on your own to keep moving towards the things He's calling you to do, but that you can't accomplish by yourself.
00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:38.079
Now I wish it wasn't like this.
00:36:39.199 --> 00:36:41.679
I'll be honest with you, I don't like this.
00:36:42.559 --> 00:36:45.679
I'd much rather be self-sufficient and capable.
00:36:46.320 --> 00:36:54.400
I'd much rather not have to stop and take a nap or have a hard time remembering an interaction I had 45 minutes ago.
00:36:54.719 --> 00:36:56.000
I don't like it.
00:36:57.119 --> 00:37:01.920
This also, though, I'll tell you, isn't my first rodeo when it comes to weakness.
00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:06.480
I've experienced chronic back pain, which will humble you.
00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:17.280
About four or five years ago, I was having significant voice issues, went to an ENT, they scoped my throat, and found out that I only have one vocal cord that works the way it's supposed to.
00:37:17.440 --> 00:37:21.840
The doctor literally looked at me and he said, You should probably find a different career.
00:37:23.679 --> 00:37:28.400
And I remember driving home going, Okay, what do I do?
00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:31.840
And I didn't sense God was saying, Nope, it's time to be done.
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:35.039
I sense God saying, trust and depend on me.
00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:44.559
And so every, literally, every Sunday and oftentimes throughout the week, I'm praying before I get up to speak, God, would you strengthen my vocal cords?
00:37:44.639 --> 00:37:45.679
Would you give me a voice?
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:50.639
Would you help me get through this moment to say what you've asked me to say?
00:37:51.039 --> 00:37:52.480
I don't like it.
00:37:52.719 --> 00:38:00.639
Quite frankly, I wish it would be healed and I didn't have to deal with it again, but I will tell you, I'm much more dependent on God because it's there.
00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:13.679
And in this season, I don't like having to take naps, and I don't like having a hard time remembering things, but I'm much more dependent on God than I normally would be because I'm praying constantly for God to help me.
00:38:14.079 --> 00:38:18.960
I don't like weakness, I don't like being a low capacity leader.
00:38:19.599 --> 00:38:25.760
And yet, this is a great season to lean in and to receive from God what I don't have on my own.
00:38:26.079 --> 00:38:34.320
What's more is I will tell you that I think that my uh absence this summer has been a gift to you all.
00:38:34.719 --> 00:38:37.039
It's been a gift to our community.
00:38:37.760 --> 00:38:39.440
And here's why.
00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:59.119
Um, right now in the American church, the most common uh philosophy of ministry is an attractional model of church, where the goal is to attract as many people to your church as possible by being impressive and influential.
00:38:59.440 --> 00:39:10.239
And so the whole goal is to have the best spiritual goods and services for spiritual consumers, the best kids programming, the best youth programming, the best small groups and worship.
00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:21.360
And central to this model is to have a charismatic, influential, impressive lead pastor in the pulpit week after week to get people to come and to get them to keep coming back.
00:39:21.599 --> 00:39:22.239
Yeah?
00:39:23.599 --> 00:39:29.840
Which, by the way, is the exact opposite of what Paul does with the Corinthian congregation.
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:35.280
He refuses to try to impress them, he refuses to try to be eloquent or influential.
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:39.760
It's like our philosophy of ministry is the exact opposite of kingdom ministry.
00:39:40.559 --> 00:39:42.239
Well, here's the good news.
00:39:42.480 --> 00:39:46.960
You can't build the church on me when I'm in a low capacity state.
00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:56.480
And what's happened this summer is that all these other people have been able to step up and use their gifting, including you all, which is how the church is supposed to function.
00:39:56.719 --> 00:40:00.000
It's not supposed to revolve around being impressed with someone on a stage.
00:40:00.159 --> 00:40:06.480
It's about everybody showing up and using the gifts they have to collectively build the community.
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This is good news.
00:40:08.960 --> 00:40:11.039
This is the way of Jesus.
00:40:11.760 --> 00:40:16.960
So here's a question I have for you all is what is your limit?
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:18.960
What are your limits?
00:40:19.199 --> 00:40:22.159
I've named some of my limits in the season.
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And I'll tell you, everybody else who ever was ever invited to join God's work in the world has had to leverage their limits for trust and dependency on God.
00:40:34.880 --> 00:40:37.360
It's again, it's not the exception, it's the norm.
00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:39.519
Abraham couldn't have kids.
00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:43.119
And yet God told him, You're gonna be a great nation.
00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:45.199
Jacob walked with a limp.
00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:49.840
Moses was old when God called him and couldn't speak.
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:53.920
David was just a shepherd and the youngest of all of his siblings.
00:40:54.159 --> 00:41:04.000
Every person who has stepped into what God was asking them to do had to confront their limits, surrender to God, and receive from God what they didn't have on their own.
00:41:04.239 --> 00:41:12.800
God does God's greatest work through people who know their need for them, who don't operate out of self-sufficiency, but rather deep dependency.
00:41:12.880 --> 00:41:15.360
So, what's your limit right now?
00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:21.519
And how is God inviting you to leverage that limit for deeper dependency?
00:41:22.320 --> 00:41:26.320
Maybe for you, like me, it's physical, a physical limit.
00:41:26.639 --> 00:41:32.000
Chances are you didn't have a subarachnoid brain hemorrhage, but you might be dealing with chronic pain.
00:41:32.239 --> 00:41:36.400
I know for you for several of you that's a that's a daily reality.
00:41:36.800 --> 00:41:41.840
Um, it could be a cancer diagnosis, maybe a struggle with infertility.
00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:50.320
There's all kinds of physical things that kind of uh uh humble us, but can be leveraged for deeper trust and dependency on God.
00:41:50.480 --> 00:41:52.559
For you, it might be an emotional limit.
00:41:52.800 --> 00:42:00.639
Maybe you're struggling with depression or anxiety, or maybe you're in a season of intense grief because of you've lost a loved one.
00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:07.599
Uh, maybe you're uh uh lonely in this season or burnt out or discouraged in some way.
00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:10.159
For others of you, it might be a relational limit.
00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:18.480
You had a relational fracture or betrayal, you're in a struggling marriage or trying to figure out how to do uh parenting in a blended family.
00:42:18.639 --> 00:42:23.760
There could be so many different things that put a relational strain on your life.
00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:25.920
Maybe for you it's vocational.
00:42:26.079 --> 00:42:32.800
You lost a job or experiencing financial uh hardship, or maybe you're just adjusting to the reality of retirement.
00:42:33.119 --> 00:42:34.880
That can be a tough transition.
00:42:35.119 --> 00:42:37.519
And maybe for you it's spiritual.
00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:43.679
Uh you feel like God's abandoned you, you have questions, you have doubts, and you're struggling in your face.
00:42:43.840 --> 00:42:45.760
The point is we all have limits.
00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:50.800
We all have limits, we all have weaknesses, and I know we don't like them.
00:42:51.360 --> 00:43:02.719
I certainly don't, but if we can learn to accept and even embrace them, they can become pathways to deeper relationship, dependency, and intimacy with God.
00:43:03.039 --> 00:43:03.679
Amen?
00:43:04.400 --> 00:43:06.480
All right, here's your homework for this week.
00:43:06.639 --> 00:43:08.000
Some action steps.
00:43:08.239 --> 00:43:11.360
Number one is to name your limit.
00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:16.000
I just listed a bunch of different limitations you might be experiencing.
00:43:16.239 --> 00:43:18.400
Name where you feel weak.
00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:20.480
Where you feel limited.
00:43:20.719 --> 00:43:23.119
Secondly, acknowledge your need for Jesus.
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I would encourage you to write this out.
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:26.639
Jesus, this is where I'm feeling limited.
00:43:26.719 --> 00:43:30.000
This is where I'm feeling weak, and I need your help.
00:43:30.159 --> 00:43:32.559
I want to depend on you with this.
00:43:32.719 --> 00:43:37.039
And then finally, rely on Jesus to get give you what you don't have.
00:43:37.199 --> 00:43:38.880
Here's what this can look like.
00:43:39.679 --> 00:43:41.920
Uh, one is a proactive plan.
00:43:42.159 --> 00:43:51.679
You can start each day by confessing your limit and then just simply sit in Jesus' presence with an openness to receive whatever he might give you.
00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:53.679
And if nothing happens, that's fine.
00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:54.800
Don't stress out about it.
00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:57.920
But sometimes Jesus might give you something in that space.
00:43:58.239 --> 00:44:10.880
And then, secondly, is reactively, when you encounter or experience that limit or that weakness in your day, uh use it as a reminder to pray, Jesus help me.
00:44:11.039 --> 00:44:15.519
I need your strength, I need your power, I need you in this moment.
00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:22.000
And so encountering your weakness actually gets turned into a positive that's leveraged for deeper dependency.
00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:23.599
All right, that is your homework.
00:44:23.679 --> 00:44:27.840
I have a couple reminders for you uh before we leave today.
00:44:28.159 --> 00:44:34.079
The first is that we have a baptism interest class right after this service in the lounge, which is right over there.
00:44:34.239 --> 00:44:39.440
So if you've never been uh baptized and you're interested in learning more, make sure to check that out.
00:44:39.599 --> 00:44:43.599
And then I also want to remind you to be here next week for our Sign Up Sunday.
00:44:43.679 --> 00:44:46.480
We're gonna have groups and all sorts of different serve teams available.
00:44:46.559 --> 00:44:50.320
And if you're not connected, this is a great way to take that step.
00:44:50.559 --> 00:44:51.119
All right?
00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:54.079
Let's stand and I'll close us in prayer.
00:44:56.559 --> 00:44:59.360
Jesus, we thank you for the gift of life.
00:44:59.519 --> 00:45:06.719
I know we often, at least I do, take it for granted, and yet we thank you that you have gifted us with life itself.
00:45:06.960 --> 00:45:09.760
And we know that in life we experience limitations.
00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:12.719
This is part of what it means to be a human being.
00:45:12.960 --> 00:45:21.280
And yet you invite us to take our limitations and channel them towards deeper dependency and intimacy and relationship with you.
00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:24.000
And so we surrender our limitations to you today.
00:45:24.079 --> 00:45:39.199
We surrender our weaknesses to you, asking that you would come and meet us in those spaces where we don't feel adequate, where we don't feel like we have enough, and that you would give us yourself and all the resources we need to do what you've called us to do.
00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:42.639
We ask it in Jesus' name, and all God's people said.
00:45:43.119 --> 00:45:43.599
Amen.
00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:44.480
Go in peace.