WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.270 --> 00:00:02.990
The Chemist's Warehouse Fall Frenzy Mega Sale is now live.
2
00:00:03.129 --> 00:00:05.410
Find up to half price off RRP on big brands
3
00:00:05.549 --> 00:00:08.630
like John Frieda, Batiste and Aussie Hair Care or Solgar,
4
00:00:08.650 --> 00:00:11.000
Meet Today and Chewy Vites Vitamins. And find up to
5
00:00:11.039 --> 00:00:15.160
half price off RRP on Emco Beauty, W7 and Rimmel Cosmetics.
6
00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:18.420
But hurry, sale must end September 20. Chemist's Warehouse, great
7
00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:19.600
savings every day.
8
00:00:21.480 --> 00:00:25.309
Treacherous ring roads lie ahead on our mission to reach Nana's.
9
00:00:25.690 --> 00:00:26.070
We must.
10
00:00:26.089 --> 00:00:28.730
Go to Mackey's for black pepper and garlic McNuggets.
11
00:00:29.149 --> 00:00:30.329
Navigation rerouting.
12
00:00:31.129 --> 00:00:33.909
The main mission can wait. Take a side mission to McDonald's.
13
00:00:35.509 --> 00:00:38.250
Available until the 29th of September from 11am. Wasdux last.
14
00:00:38.270 --> 00:00:39.990
Subject to availability. Participation varies.
15
00:00:41.109 --> 00:00:45.520
Comedy bang bang. Comedy bang bang.
16
00:00:45.530 --> 00:00:46.490
Comedy bang bang.
17
00:00:46.530 --> 00:00:47.420
Comedy bang bang.
18
00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:48.500
Comedy bang bang.
19
00:00:48.539 --> 00:00:49.159
Comedy bang bang.
20
00:01:05.409 --> 00:01:07.790
She sells big bells by the bell store and my
21
00:01:07.989 --> 00:01:11.950
ears are ringing. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you
22
00:01:11.989 --> 00:01:15.010
to Attila the Hyundai. Is that how you pronounce that?
23
00:01:15.090 --> 00:01:16.790
Hyundai. Yes.
24
00:01:17.370 --> 00:01:20.430
Thank you very much. You're my fact checker for today's episode. Yes.
25
00:01:20.650 --> 00:01:22.730
A lot of times I'll say stuff that I get
26
00:01:22.829 --> 00:01:23.709
details wrong.
27
00:01:23.989 --> 00:01:24.170
Yeah.
28
00:01:24.390 --> 00:01:26.640
I mispronounce words. I need you here for me today.
29
00:01:26.819 --> 00:01:28.099
Okay. I'll validate it all.
30
00:01:28.379 --> 00:01:29.939
Okay. Fantastic. I love this.
31
00:01:30.180 --> 00:01:30.359
Yeah.
32
00:01:30.659 --> 00:01:32.280
Just tell me I'm right even if I'm wrong. That's
33
00:01:32.299 --> 00:01:32.900
what I really want.
34
00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:35.799
Yeah. More importantly, I won't look into it.
35
00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:39.170
Okay. I appreciate this. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for
36
00:01:39.209 --> 00:01:41.450
another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have an
37
00:01:41.510 --> 00:01:43.450
exceptional show coming up a little later. We have a
38
00:01:43.489 --> 00:01:52.849
ghost expert... We also have a bird. A ghost expert
39
00:01:52.870 --> 00:01:55.170
and a bird coming up a little later on the show.
40
00:01:55.250 --> 00:02:00.109
But let's get to the person whose dulcet tones you
41
00:02:00.150 --> 00:02:03.269
just heard. One of the deeper voices in comedy. Would
42
00:02:03.290 --> 00:02:03.689
you agree?
43
00:02:05.189 --> 00:02:05.409
Sure.
44
00:02:05.430 --> 00:02:08.689
Are you going to fact check this? Yeah, I don't know.
45
00:02:08.729 --> 00:02:12.000
I mean, I'm not going to. Yeah, do the tones
46
00:02:12.060 --> 00:02:14.219
of everyone's voice and then be like, oh, I am
47
00:02:14.280 --> 00:02:14.879
the deepest.
48
00:02:15.460 --> 00:02:16.300
Tell me someone deeper.
49
00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:19.000
I don't know because of how I don't have a
50
00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:20.060
list of deep voice.
51
00:02:21.020 --> 00:02:24.280
But I mean, like, can you think of anyone who's,
52
00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:26.419
you know, like if this were an acapella group, you
53
00:02:26.460 --> 00:02:28.330
would all know exactly where you fit in.
54
00:02:28.370 --> 00:02:28.810
Yeah.
55
00:02:29.219 --> 00:02:31.870
You know, comedy is certainly not an acapella group. That's
56
00:02:31.909 --> 00:02:32.469
not what I'm saying.
57
00:02:32.509 --> 00:02:34.349
No, but let me think if I can think of
58
00:02:34.389 --> 00:02:37.289
someone with a... a deeper voice but it's being you
59
00:02:37.310 --> 00:02:39.780
mean specifically of course a stand-up with a deeper voice.
60
00:02:39.599 --> 00:02:41.919
Yes exactly yeah or i guess.
61
00:02:41.960 --> 00:02:44.800
What if i'm the deepest voiced stand-up.
62
00:02:44.199 --> 00:02:46.879
You might be i can't think of a single other one.
63
00:02:46.860 --> 00:02:48.819
All right like you know what i don't know why
64
00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:50.629
i i will i will take that.
65
00:02:50.969 --> 00:02:53.909
Imitate another comedian i'll just uh throw me yeah yeah
66
00:02:53.969 --> 00:02:54.610
eddie murphy.
67
00:02:54.550 --> 00:03:00.379
Go uh hi i'm eddie murphy i am in a
68
00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:05.180
tight tight red suit and i guess is that a
69
00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:08.539
would you describe my impression as dead on you know
70
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:11.189
how most comedians simply describe what they're wearing and then
71
00:03:11.210 --> 00:03:14.550
go home you have a good night everyone yeah yeah
72
00:03:14.569 --> 00:03:17.469
i'm i'm america's deepest voiced comedian i think you might
73
00:03:17.500 --> 00:03:19.340
put that on like a like a now a funny
74
00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:21.539
headshot where i have like a chef's hat.
75
00:03:21.560 --> 00:03:25.919
Yes Um, and like maybe a little version of you
76
00:03:25.979 --> 00:03:28.219
peeking out from underneath the chef's hat, like a Latatouille,
77
00:03:28.259 --> 00:03:29.430
but you're just like.
78
00:03:29.370 --> 00:03:30.110
A miniature you.
79
00:03:30.150 --> 00:03:30.949
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
80
00:03:31.250 --> 00:03:31.789
A little me.
81
00:03:31.810 --> 00:03:33.330
That needs no explanation, right?
82
00:03:33.650 --> 00:03:33.930
No, no.
83
00:03:34.189 --> 00:03:35.849
People know the show they're getting when they go see
84
00:03:35.889 --> 00:03:36.569
that comic live.
85
00:03:37.930 --> 00:03:41.250
Um, he is a stand-up comedian, as mentioned. He is
86
00:03:41.509 --> 00:03:46.280
an actor. He has a new special called Here Comes
87
00:03:46.360 --> 00:03:49.879
the Whimsy, which is out now on YouTube. Please welcome
88
00:03:49.900 --> 00:03:52.000
back to the show Eugene Merman, one of the titans
89
00:03:52.039 --> 00:03:52.580
of comedy.
90
00:03:52.740 --> 00:03:53.199
Hello.
91
00:03:53.219 --> 00:03:54.780
Hello.
92
00:03:55.419 --> 00:03:57.319
Did you remember you're one of the titans of comedy?
93
00:03:57.879 --> 00:03:58.520
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
94
00:03:58.979 --> 00:04:01.099
Yes. Who are the others? It was Anthony Jeselnik.
95
00:04:02.020 --> 00:04:02.360
It is.
96
00:04:03.319 --> 00:04:08.219
Yes. It's basically me and then people who have very
97
00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:10.599
beautifully crafted dark one-liners.
98
00:04:11.189 --> 00:04:13.849
Yes, it was. I'm looking at the episode now. This
99
00:04:13.939 --> 00:04:18.639
is an episode from March 7, 2013. Uh-huh. And it
100
00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:20.699
is Anthony Jeselnik, Nathan Fielder.
101
00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:21.120
And you.
102
00:04:21.519 --> 00:04:21.720
Yeah.
103
00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:24.079
Are the Titans of Comedy. We branded you as the
104
00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:24.920
Titans of Comedy.
105
00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:25.439
Excellent.
106
00:04:25.779 --> 00:04:26.500
That is excellent.
107
00:04:26.519 --> 00:04:27.180
I am in great company.
108
00:04:27.220 --> 00:04:28.860
Have you guys been touring together?
109
00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:30.079
No, but I would.
110
00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:31.160
They're wonderful.
111
00:04:31.180 --> 00:04:31.899
They're fantastic.
112
00:04:31.959 --> 00:04:32.300
Yes.
113
00:04:32.439 --> 00:04:33.519
I adore them.
114
00:04:33.660 --> 00:04:37.740
Eugene, welcome back to the show. Anything been going on
115
00:04:37.779 --> 00:04:38.040
with you?
116
00:04:39.629 --> 00:04:41.209
Nope, nothing in the news.
117
00:04:42.389 --> 00:04:44.569
Oh, that's not the answer I usually get when I
118
00:04:44.629 --> 00:04:46.949
ask a friend anything going on with you. Nothing in
119
00:04:46.970 --> 00:04:47.529
the news.
120
00:04:47.589 --> 00:04:49.740
That makes me feel like they're... Something in the news.
121
00:04:51.019 --> 00:04:54.079
I'm redoing the... I've been hired to redo the West
122
00:04:54.100 --> 00:04:55.360
Wing of the White House.
123
00:04:55.459 --> 00:04:56.079
Really?
124
00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:57.959
And here's the thing. I don't know what I'm doing.
125
00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:00.120
But he was at no bid contract.
126
00:05:00.790 --> 00:05:03.110
Yeah, no, I just got it. I just got it.
127
00:05:03.149 --> 00:05:06.509
Because I was like, I have an idea. No, what's
128
00:05:06.550 --> 00:05:08.430
going on with me? Well, I have a new special out.
129
00:05:08.610 --> 00:05:09.129
New special.
130
00:05:09.170 --> 00:05:14.319
Here comes the whimsy. And this details your life probably
131
00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:17.540
from birth up till about, what, a month or two ago?
132
00:05:17.959 --> 00:05:18.879
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.
133
00:05:19.060 --> 00:05:19.579
I mean, yeah.
134
00:05:20.040 --> 00:05:21.399
Taped it last year.
135
00:05:22.060 --> 00:05:26.560
Yeah. What is the date that your life took a
136
00:05:26.639 --> 00:05:27.519
radical left turn?
137
00:05:29.449 --> 00:05:30.420
March 31st, you mean?
138
00:05:30.449 --> 00:05:30.899
March 31st.
139
00:05:30.939 --> 00:05:31.240
Yes.
140
00:05:31.300 --> 00:05:32.019
That's right.
141
00:05:32.060 --> 00:05:32.420
Yes.
142
00:05:32.759 --> 00:05:33.680
The last day of March.
143
00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:34.819
The last day of March.
144
00:05:35.399 --> 00:05:35.639
Yeah.
145
00:05:36.259 --> 00:05:36.939
That's what you mean.
146
00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:40.339
They say beware the Ides of March, but you had
147
00:05:40.379 --> 00:05:42.480
to look out for 16 days after it.
148
00:05:42.930 --> 00:05:43.110
Yeah.
149
00:05:43.879 --> 00:05:44.680
Yes, exactly.
150
00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:48.240
Yes, I was in a terrible car accident.
151
00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:51.610
That is what I'm hinting around. That is, it made
152
00:05:52.089 --> 00:05:56.149
national headlines, perhaps even international headlines. Did you see any
153
00:05:56.189 --> 00:05:57.029
international headlines?
154
00:05:57.430 --> 00:05:58.790
I haven't.
155
00:05:58.889 --> 00:06:01.230
Probably. Eugene Marvin! Yes.
156
00:06:02.029 --> 00:06:02.750
Shaboom!
157
00:06:03.129 --> 00:06:07.029
Yes, yes, exactly. It was covered in all, in like,
158
00:06:07.149 --> 00:06:12.110
very fun... uh, like vibrant Italian press and a lot
159
00:06:12.149 --> 00:06:18.279
of like, Oh, mama mia. Yeah, exactly here. He's not
160
00:06:18.319 --> 00:06:22.149
the voice of Jean, but imagine if he was how,
161
00:06:22.170 --> 00:06:22.990
how sad that would be.
162
00:06:23.870 --> 00:06:24.329
Yeah.
163
00:06:24.470 --> 00:06:29.360
You, Eugene, if you don't know, if you're not out
164
00:06:29.379 --> 00:06:32.220
there scanning TMZ, the 30 mile zone, of course.
165
00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:33.519
Yeah.
166
00:06:34.120 --> 00:06:36.740
Or any of the national press, you may not know
167
00:06:36.860 --> 00:06:42.259
that on March 31st. Uh, Eugene, uh, Merman pulled what
168
00:06:42.279 --> 00:06:45.240
we like to call a Eugene Merman by... Yeah.
169
00:06:45.959 --> 00:06:47.860
It's like, it's terrible when you do a bit and
170
00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:49.339
you're like, I can't even explain it.
171
00:06:51.100 --> 00:06:56.360
By, uh, uh, uh, ramming his car. Ramming is fair
172
00:06:56.399 --> 00:06:56.980
to say, right?
173
00:06:57.079 --> 00:07:00.480
So, yeah, I mean, yes, it probably is. I, I drove,
174
00:07:00.860 --> 00:07:02.620
and again, I don't remember it, so I don't know
175
00:07:02.699 --> 00:07:07.269
if I was... uh, potentially like blacked out or unconscious.
176
00:07:07.310 --> 00:07:08.170
Or did it on purpose?
177
00:07:08.730 --> 00:07:08.949
No.
178
00:07:09.050 --> 00:07:09.209
Yeah.
179
00:07:09.269 --> 00:07:11.009
Yeah. So the chances of it being on purpose are,
180
00:07:11.449 --> 00:07:15.100
I would say very slight, like meaning I'm knowing your personality. So,
181
00:07:15.240 --> 00:07:18.180
so yeah. So like, and I talked to the policeman
182
00:07:18.199 --> 00:07:20.149
who saw the video of the toll booth and I,
183
00:07:20.220 --> 00:07:21.980
and I, and it sounds like the car.
184
00:07:21.699 --> 00:07:23.379
You rammed into a toll booth. Yes.
185
00:07:23.459 --> 00:07:23.689
Yes.
186
00:07:23.790 --> 00:07:26.329
Which look, here's the thing. A lot of people do
187
00:07:26.410 --> 00:07:29.050
ram into that toll booth, but not as many as don't.
188
00:07:30.870 --> 00:07:31.930
It's probably a.
189
00:07:31.829 --> 00:07:37.680
001 % Of cars That pass by it Many people
190
00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:41.959
pass by Some ram it Rarely in the afternoon Quickly
191
00:07:42.790 --> 00:07:45.360
So there's a version where I was either distracted or
192
00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:47.139
blacked out or something happened with the car like i
193
00:07:47.180 --> 00:07:48.819
don't know and i don't know that i'll ever and
194
00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:50.120
you spoke to.
195
00:07:50.040 --> 00:07:52.620
The policeman who saw the video you were saying yeah.
196
00:07:52.399 --> 00:07:53.949
And i spoke to him in general and he and
197
00:07:53.970 --> 00:07:55.449
i think in the hospital i'd said that i you
198
00:07:55.470 --> 00:07:57.509
know i remember looking at the map and you know
199
00:07:57.610 --> 00:07:59.670
i don't know if there's like a quick turn and
200
00:07:59.689 --> 00:08:01.750
it comes up quickly i don't really know do you.
201
00:08:01.709 --> 00:08:03.649
Think there was someone in the toll booth that you
202
00:08:03.670 --> 00:08:05.250
there's no person in the toll booth there's okay do
203
00:08:05.269 --> 00:08:06.790
you know it's an unmanned.
204
00:08:06.490 --> 00:08:10.029
Toll booth so i was the only one in it luckily.
205
00:08:09.829 --> 00:08:11.509
So it was not attempted murder.
206
00:08:12.079 --> 00:08:15.240
No, I wasn't mad at a tollbooth guy who'd really
207
00:08:15.300 --> 00:08:16.720
gotten me in 1981.
208
00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:19.639
And by the way, you are under oath.
209
00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:25.050
Yes, I figured. Podcasts traditionally are under oath. You brought
210
00:08:25.079 --> 00:08:27.610
your own book to.
211
00:08:27.610 --> 00:08:30.569
Do the oath on. This is the unbearable lightness of being?
212
00:08:30.689 --> 00:08:34.230
Yes, but that's what I do my oath on.
213
00:08:35.090 --> 00:08:38.059
So you ram into this tollbooth. That's not the end
214
00:08:38.080 --> 00:08:39.679
of the story because that would be the end of
215
00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:42.419
the story for a lot of people of like, oh, gosh,
216
00:08:42.559 --> 00:08:44.529
I got into a fender bender with this toll booth.
217
00:08:45.309 --> 00:08:48.649
You ram into the toll booth. You are unconscious. It
218
00:08:48.710 --> 00:08:52.450
perhaps makes you unconscious or perhaps you are unconscious beforehand.
219
00:08:52.470 --> 00:08:54.970
Well, it probably helps continue. Yes, it's unclear.
220
00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:57.580
Whether you passed out and that's what caused the accident.
221
00:08:57.600 --> 00:08:59.580
Briefly, like even like, is it like, did I pass
222
00:08:59.639 --> 00:09:01.200
out for three seconds and then that was enough?
223
00:09:01.220 --> 00:09:05.980
I believe there's an ER episode where someone passes out
224
00:09:06.019 --> 00:09:09.980
in the car. and rams into something and they do
225
00:09:10.009 --> 00:09:11.659
a battery of tests. I hope they did a.
226
00:09:11.659 --> 00:09:13.299
Battery of tests. Yes, yes.
227
00:09:13.620 --> 00:09:16.220
And they were like, oh my God, this accident, which
228
00:09:16.279 --> 00:09:19.759
everyone thought you were drunk. for actually was you passing
229
00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:22.059
out and has let us see that you have a
230
00:09:22.120 --> 00:09:24.500
major medical problem that we need to fix. Did anything
231
00:09:24.519 --> 00:09:25.360
like that happen?
232
00:09:25.500 --> 00:09:28.769
We're in the process of figuring out if I have, yeah, like.
233
00:09:28.850 --> 00:09:30.690
The tests don't come back as soon as they do
234
00:09:30.769 --> 00:09:31.169
on TV?
235
00:09:32.149 --> 00:09:34.789
Well, they do if you edit the whole thing together. Oh,
236
00:09:34.970 --> 00:09:35.889
we should do that.
237
00:09:36.090 --> 00:09:36.309
Yeah.
238
00:09:36.809 --> 00:09:39.129
But yes, I am trying to figure out if in
239
00:09:39.169 --> 00:09:42.610
fact I have an arrhythmia or if I have like
240
00:09:43.149 --> 00:09:45.340
Or if there's a thing that could have medically contributed.
241
00:09:45.419 --> 00:09:48.450
So you may have been passed out before running into it,
242
00:09:48.519 --> 00:09:51.379
or you may have run into it from a whoopsie
243
00:09:51.399 --> 00:09:55.350
of types of like, you know, like you spilled, you know,
244
00:09:55.429 --> 00:09:57.110
sticky Coke on your hands.
245
00:09:57.129 --> 00:10:00.179
Yeah, I might've been trying to playing with marmalade. Um,
246
00:10:01.159 --> 00:10:04.070
I might've been eating marmalade out of a jar with
247
00:10:04.120 --> 00:10:06.570
my hand. And I was like, Oh, my hand's sticky.
248
00:10:06.610 --> 00:10:11.169
And I'm like distracted. But again, there was no marmalade found.
249
00:10:12.230 --> 00:10:14.190
You may have eaten it all though. Have you thought
250
00:10:14.210 --> 00:10:14.450
about that?
251
00:10:14.470 --> 00:10:16.029
It's true that it's possible. I ate a whole jar
252
00:10:16.049 --> 00:10:20.090
of marmalade. It was confused out of my mind.
253
00:10:21.710 --> 00:10:23.929
But but so you you may have lost control. You
254
00:10:24.250 --> 00:10:27.389
may have become unconscious. But then what happens is and
255
00:10:27.669 --> 00:10:30.470
I have not seen this. Anywhere but in the movies.
256
00:10:30.809 --> 00:10:31.649
Yeah.
257
00:10:31.889 --> 00:10:33.570
The car bursts into flames.
258
00:10:33.909 --> 00:10:37.240
I don't know exactly when because I'm not burned, so. Right.
259
00:10:37.320 --> 00:10:39.720
And here's the thing. I haven't looked up the stories
260
00:10:39.740 --> 00:10:40.960
to be like, oh, I made it.
261
00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:42.240
Have you watched the video?
262
00:10:42.799 --> 00:10:45.580
No, because I don't know. It's probably quite disturbing.
263
00:10:45.860 --> 00:10:48.460
Yeah, yeah. There's some trauma that you don't need.
264
00:10:48.840 --> 00:10:50.039
Yeah, so I haven't.
265
00:10:50.100 --> 00:10:52.940
You already have enough trauma regarding the incident. Yes, and
266
00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:54.440
I have a- And then you have to answer questions
267
00:10:54.480 --> 00:10:55.700
on a stupid podcast about it.
268
00:10:55.899 --> 00:10:58.809
But I- happy to but like i had a concussion
269
00:10:59.370 --> 00:11:01.909
but the concussion would basically it was like i don't
270
00:11:01.929 --> 00:11:05.549
remember the accident um i know that you know when
271
00:11:05.570 --> 00:11:09.480
i was pulled out i the car is on fire
272
00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:11.000
and you are pulled out of it i don't know
273
00:11:11.019 --> 00:11:12.600
if i was pulled out i don't know how much
274
00:11:12.659 --> 00:11:14.139
the car was under fire when i was pulled out
275
00:11:14.200 --> 00:11:16.100
but it was probably i remember being in the ambulance
276
00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:18.429
and seeing my car on fire and being like oh
277
00:11:18.509 --> 00:11:20.289
i'm glad i'm not there and then i remember thinking
278
00:11:20.330 --> 00:11:22.549
like This is definitely not a dream.
279
00:11:23.450 --> 00:11:25.129
So you woke up in the ambulance. I thought you
280
00:11:25.149 --> 00:11:26.889
would have woken up in the hospital.
281
00:11:26.990 --> 00:11:29.610
I mean, I briefly remembered, and then the next thing
282
00:11:29.649 --> 00:11:31.629
I remember was the hospital. But I put it together.
283
00:11:31.649 --> 00:11:34.470
I was like, oh, this ambulance took me to a hospital.
284
00:11:34.610 --> 00:11:37.029
So this is what I wanted to ask, because you
285
00:11:37.100 --> 00:11:38.929
see this in movies and TV all the time, the
286
00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:42.799
person waking up in the hospital. But when you woke
287
00:11:42.840 --> 00:11:44.080
up in the hospital, you got it.
288
00:11:45.340 --> 00:11:47.320
I had known that. I mean, again, I was sort
289
00:11:47.340 --> 00:11:49.879
of confused. I couldn't remember why I was where I was.
290
00:11:49.960 --> 00:11:51.740
And now then I was like, oh, yeah, I was
291
00:11:51.759 --> 00:11:52.440
going to Vermont.
292
00:11:53.980 --> 00:11:55.059
And why were you going to Vermont?
293
00:11:55.080 --> 00:11:56.000
Are you able to share this?
294
00:11:56.659 --> 00:11:57.360
Oh, OK.
295
00:11:57.639 --> 00:12:05.519
I was going to to Jacksonville. Julie Smith-Glemsholm, who directed
296
00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:09.340
the special, and we have a label together along with
297
00:12:09.500 --> 00:12:13.519
our friend Aditi. And the three of us were meeting
298
00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.690
up to work on stuff related to putting out the
299
00:12:16.730 --> 00:12:17.570
special and album.
300
00:12:17.649 --> 00:12:21.509
And then you don't arrive at this pre-planned meeting.
301
00:12:21.889 --> 00:12:25.529
No, because I made a stop. i decided to stop
302
00:12:25.570 --> 00:12:26.870
at a hospital for several.
303
00:12:26.570 --> 00:12:29.330
Days right so do now this has happened to me
304
00:12:29.409 --> 00:12:32.529
occasionally where someone doesn't show up where where and when
305
00:12:32.549 --> 00:12:35.350
they're supposed to be there yeah and you're the mind
306
00:12:35.429 --> 00:12:38.730
starts kind of going like is this person all right
307
00:12:38.870 --> 00:12:40.429
they're not answering their phone so.
308
00:12:41.029 --> 00:12:44.269
So i think what actually happened was with whoever pulled
309
00:12:44.289 --> 00:12:46.220
me out or i think a few people pulled me
310
00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:48.960
out but one of them asked me if i like
311
00:12:49.220 --> 00:12:51.129
for a phone number and i No, I had a
312
00:12:51.149 --> 00:12:53.250
concussion and was baffled. They wanted your phone number? I
313
00:12:53.250 --> 00:12:55.110
remembered my wife's phone number. Oh, okay. And so I
314
00:12:55.190 --> 00:12:58.090
gave it to them. They called my wife and then
315
00:12:58.190 --> 00:13:01.370
she called and let, and so then Julian out of
316
00:13:01.389 --> 00:13:03.389
tea came to meet me at the hospital, which.
317
00:13:03.429 --> 00:13:03.759
Got it.
318
00:13:03.909 --> 00:13:05.840
You know, so, so it all, we didn't, not that
319
00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:07.879
we like, we're like, okay, let's finish our meeting.
320
00:13:09.779 --> 00:13:12.279
Did the, whatever you were meeting about, was that ever resolved?
321
00:13:12.600 --> 00:13:13.080
Yes. Yes.
322
00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:15.240
We, we ended up, uh, yeah, we, we, we.
323
00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:16.000
I just want to make sure.
324
00:13:16.019 --> 00:13:16.200
Yeah.
325
00:13:16.259 --> 00:13:16.460
Yeah.
326
00:13:16.519 --> 00:13:16.940
Don't worry.
327
00:13:16.980 --> 00:13:20.899
I got to, I'm signed, uh, vinyl. Uh, that will
328
00:13:21.039 --> 00:13:23.840
that was mailed out a week later yeah so everything
329
00:13:23.860 --> 00:13:24.919
worked out don't worry.
330
00:13:24.940 --> 00:13:27.279
Can you imagine if if this had a different outcome
331
00:13:27.299 --> 00:13:29.080
and you didn't get to sign that vinyl.
332
00:13:29.100 --> 00:13:30.539
I know and then people had paid for it and
333
00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:34.120
then you have to refund it and then my final
334
00:13:34.139 --> 00:13:38.279
special is called here comes the whimsy and i'm and
335
00:13:38.330 --> 00:13:43.169
it's just so sad so i'm like obviously like so
336
00:13:43.889 --> 00:13:46.190
like lucky and i have no idea what happened or
337
00:13:46.250 --> 00:13:48.529
what caused it and i and i think like you
338
00:13:48.570 --> 00:13:51.269
know there's guesses of what Again, like all I'll be
339
00:13:51.289 --> 00:13:52.950
able to, even if I find out that I have
340
00:13:53.370 --> 00:13:56.350
a heart condition, I don't know that that's what happened then.
341
00:13:56.549 --> 00:13:58.370
It's just that I have a heart condition.
342
00:13:58.409 --> 00:14:00.149
You just have to guess on all this kind of stuff.
343
00:14:00.230 --> 00:14:00.490
Yeah.
344
00:14:00.509 --> 00:14:02.509
I mean, and all I can do is be like, well,
345
00:14:02.549 --> 00:14:05.379
if I was distracted, I'm not, I probably won't be like.
346
00:14:06.070 --> 00:14:10.330
Yeah. Have you thought about getting behind the wheel again?
347
00:14:10.389 --> 00:14:11.610
Yes, I drove.
348
00:14:12.190 --> 00:14:12.769
Yes.
349
00:14:12.950 --> 00:14:14.450
I mean, the first time was, I don't know, a
350
00:14:14.769 --> 00:14:17.029
week or two later where I literally moved the car
351
00:14:17.049 --> 00:14:19.809
from down the street to our parking, to our driveway.
352
00:14:19.830 --> 00:14:20.950
And did you have any kind of like.
353
00:14:27.370 --> 00:14:28.929
And then a couple of days later, you're just like
354
00:14:29.009 --> 00:14:31.019
on your phone while you're driving. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like
355
00:14:31.039 --> 00:14:31.500
the old days.
356
00:14:31.700 --> 00:14:34.100
Yes, yes, exactly. Well, no, it took me a while,
357
00:14:34.120 --> 00:14:35.840
but I looked to see if I had any incoming
358
00:14:35.879 --> 00:14:38.440
or outgoing emails or texts or anything at that time,
359
00:14:38.460 --> 00:14:41.590
and I didn't. So I know that like that wasn't
360
00:14:41.620 --> 00:14:42.000
a thing.
361
00:14:42.750 --> 00:14:42.950
Right.
362
00:14:42.990 --> 00:14:44.730
But I, you know, I don't know.
363
00:14:46.389 --> 00:14:50.110
And if it had gone the other way, and we're
364
00:14:50.289 --> 00:14:51.250
so glad that it didn't.
365
00:14:51.549 --> 00:14:51.730
Yeah.
366
00:14:52.149 --> 00:14:55.210
Was there a plan in place for like Bob's Burgers?
367
00:14:55.450 --> 00:14:57.509
Is there a line of succession? Like, does Dan Mintz
368
00:14:57.570 --> 00:14:59.990
get to like go up and start doing your part
369
00:15:00.029 --> 00:15:01.750
and someone takes over his or what?
370
00:15:01.769 --> 00:15:05.919
Yeah, I don't know. I haven't inquired as to who
371
00:15:06.779 --> 00:15:07.740
they would get, but yeah.
372
00:15:07.779 --> 00:15:10.500
Yeah, is there someone out there with another deep voice
373
00:15:10.539 --> 00:15:11.039
in comedy?
374
00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:13.960
Who does like a kid who plays a high-voiced kid?
375
00:15:13.980 --> 00:15:14.600
Yeah.
376
00:15:15.779 --> 00:15:18.740
Um, I don't know. Has anyone ever had to re like, uh,
377
00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:22.370
do a couple of lines for Eugene on, or no, sorry, Jean, uh,
378
00:15:22.389 --> 00:15:26.149
is the character name on Bob's Burgers. Indistinguishable.
379
00:15:26.490 --> 00:15:26.649
Yeah.
380
00:15:26.669 --> 00:15:28.110
But you know what I mean? We're like, oh, you,
381
00:15:28.210 --> 00:15:31.289
you're not available because you're in Bali or something. And
382
00:15:31.309 --> 00:15:32.690
they go, oh, get this guy to do.
383
00:15:32.750 --> 00:15:34.389
No, I, I don't, I don't believe so.
384
00:15:34.429 --> 00:15:36.620
You've done 100% of the dialogue.
385
00:15:36.740 --> 00:15:37.539
I believe that's true.
386
00:15:38.259 --> 00:15:41.330
And you and there there supposedly is no plan in place.
387
00:15:41.570 --> 00:15:42.590
The producers are not.
388
00:15:43.070 --> 00:15:45.129
I am unaware, though. Who knows if now there's a backup?
389
00:15:45.389 --> 00:15:47.190
Because, you know, I've always said this. I feel like,
390
00:15:47.250 --> 00:15:49.230
you know, you don't want the West Wing effect to
391
00:15:49.269 --> 00:15:52.110
happen where like one of the main actors passes away
392
00:15:52.129 --> 00:15:54.990
and then you're unprepared. And they were only like five
393
00:15:55.049 --> 00:15:58.080
or six episodes away from the show ending. I've always
394
00:15:58.120 --> 00:16:01.460
said that every any actor on a show needs to
395
00:16:01.500 --> 00:16:03.789
come in on their first day and and film a
396
00:16:03.809 --> 00:16:07.750
scene of them clutching their heart going, so that it
397
00:16:07.769 --> 00:16:10.240
can be incorporated into the show a little bit later.
398
00:16:10.679 --> 00:16:13.320
Yes. We do that on Bob's. I mean, they have
399
00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:14.570
a lot of us just going.
400
00:16:15.490 --> 00:16:15.669
Right.
401
00:16:16.889 --> 00:16:19.929
Um yeah i don't know um do you think that.
402
00:16:19.830 --> 00:16:22.450
Would you prefer that they kill off your character in
403
00:16:22.470 --> 00:16:25.049
bob's burgers were you to or you did no longer.
404
00:16:24.830 --> 00:16:28.129
Be here no no i i probably you want him
405
00:16:28.149 --> 00:16:29.990
to go on i want yeah i want that would
406
00:16:30.009 --> 00:16:33.149
be a tragedy for the family wouldn't it yeah so
407
00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:35.429
so i don't know that what bob's needs is a
408
00:16:35.820 --> 00:16:40.659
deep deep tragedy where like the middle child dies and
409
00:16:40.700 --> 00:16:44.490
then like episodes are not about it but like Always.
410
00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:47.850
I feel like there's an easy fix, which is like
411
00:16:47.889 --> 00:16:50.250
he dies and then cut to, it just says cut
412
00:16:50.289 --> 00:16:52.750
to two years later. That way there's like, we don't
413
00:16:52.769 --> 00:16:55.169
have to see the grieving process, you know, and it's like.
414
00:16:55.190 --> 00:16:58.970
Yeah, but here's the thing about cartoons, nobody ages. So
415
00:16:59.009 --> 00:17:01.409
two years later, what are you then making everybody older?
416
00:17:01.450 --> 00:17:02.129
I don't think you're doing that.
417
00:17:02.149 --> 00:17:04.740
That would be fun though, wouldn't it? See everyone two
418
00:17:04.759 --> 00:17:07.200
years later. I mean, how old is Kristen's character?
419
00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:08.660
I believe she's nine.
420
00:17:09.319 --> 00:17:10.940
Be great to see her at 11.
421
00:17:10.940 --> 00:17:13.680
I don't know. She's so perfect at nine.
422
00:17:13.960 --> 00:17:16.180
I know, but I mean, it would be kind of
423
00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:18.099
fun to see her like entering sixth grade.
424
00:17:18.380 --> 00:17:21.970
Yeah. Yes, it would.
425
00:17:22.049 --> 00:17:24.269
And all that that entails. It's true. Middle school.
426
00:17:24.549 --> 00:17:24.750
Yeah.
427
00:17:25.069 --> 00:17:26.430
You know, first day of middle school. I think this
428
00:17:26.490 --> 00:17:27.160
is a good idea.
429
00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:28.859
Every episode is first day of middle school.
430
00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:29.799
Right. Yeah, yeah.
431
00:17:30.700 --> 00:17:35.480
Um, and so, um, your special, you don't, you don't
432
00:17:35.559 --> 00:17:38.369
address it in the special because it happened beforehand.
433
00:17:38.630 --> 00:17:38.829
Yeah.
434
00:17:38.890 --> 00:17:39.410
I taped it.
435
00:17:39.450 --> 00:17:41.829
What is, what is like the, if it was your
436
00:17:41.890 --> 00:17:44.849
last word, we, we mentioned how weird that would be
437
00:17:44.890 --> 00:17:47.069
if this was like the last special you ever put out.
438
00:17:47.130 --> 00:17:49.710
Yeah. Now I'm going to really quickly try to make
439
00:17:49.750 --> 00:17:50.089
another one.
440
00:17:50.250 --> 00:17:50.450
Yeah.
441
00:17:50.509 --> 00:17:52.609
Is there, is there anything at the end of the
442
00:17:52.650 --> 00:17:54.890
special that would sum up your career? Like if it
443
00:17:54.930 --> 00:17:57.119
had to be, had to have been the last one, like.
444
00:17:57.880 --> 00:17:59.740
You know, or is the last line of the special
445
00:17:59.779 --> 00:18:01.470
just kind of goofy and you're like, well, that's the
446
00:18:01.509 --> 00:18:02.589
last thing we ever hear from Eugene.
447
00:18:02.609 --> 00:18:04.170
I think the last part of the special is people
448
00:18:04.250 --> 00:18:04.869
tap dancing.
449
00:18:05.569 --> 00:18:05.859
Really?
450
00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:06.759
Yeah. That's fun.
451
00:18:06.779 --> 00:18:07.119
Yeah.
452
00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:07.660
That's good.
453
00:18:07.779 --> 00:18:10.420
Yeah, see? I would describe it even as whimsical.
454
00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:15.309
Do you think you would have made the In Memoriam? Oh, no.
455
00:18:15.329 --> 00:18:17.230
The Emmys, I bet you would have.
456
00:18:17.349 --> 00:18:18.250
Emmys, maybe.
457
00:18:18.869 --> 00:18:19.690
I know you would have.
458
00:18:19.890 --> 00:18:24.480
Emmys, maybe, yeah. But I'm not in one and a
459
00:18:24.519 --> 00:18:25.619
half movies or something.
460
00:18:25.660 --> 00:18:27.759
The Oscars, you would have. No, there's no.
461
00:18:28.759 --> 00:18:30.359
Like, there's no version.
462
00:18:30.460 --> 00:18:32.809
What about the Grammys? Latin Grammys?
463
00:18:32.990 --> 00:18:35.529
Latin Grammys, maybe. I wonder if I would make, like,
464
00:18:35.589 --> 00:18:39.410
the People's Choice Award. Do they have it in memoriam?
465
00:18:39.450 --> 00:18:40.730
Have you ever won a People's Choice Award?
466
00:18:40.750 --> 00:18:42.789
I don't think I've been nominated, but maybe Bob's has.
467
00:18:43.170 --> 00:18:43.609
Probably.
468
00:18:43.930 --> 00:18:46.000
Yeah. Probably.
469
00:18:46.019 --> 00:18:47.759
I think I said probably because Bob.
470
00:18:48.119 --> 00:18:53.380
Yeah, probably. Yeah, I don't know. But, you know, I
471
00:18:53.480 --> 00:18:56.160
now want to make a list of organizations that I
472
00:18:56.200 --> 00:18:58.690
think would wish me well if I died. It is
473
00:18:58.789 --> 00:19:02.829
slightly interesting experiencing almost your own funeral because lots of
474
00:19:02.869 --> 00:19:05.170
people reached out and it was like, oh, this is
475
00:19:05.630 --> 00:19:08.930
what it would have been like if I had died.
476
00:19:09.730 --> 00:19:11.809
But everyone's like, and he didn't die.
477
00:19:11.829 --> 00:19:14.319
I mean, no one's disappointed.
478
00:19:14.339 --> 00:19:17.440
I think they also like the amount, the news and
479
00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:21.019
the fire or whatever was so insane. And then I'm
480
00:19:21.059 --> 00:19:23.500
kind of like. I mean, I had a concussion and
481
00:19:23.559 --> 00:19:24.359
I fractured.
482
00:19:24.619 --> 00:19:26.799
It's not like you had a heart attack and everyone
483
00:19:26.819 --> 00:19:28.920
hears about it and goes, oh, my God. You know,
484
00:19:28.980 --> 00:19:32.039
it was just so crazy to, you know, to read
485
00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:35.029
it in the news first, you know, before anyone reached.
486
00:19:35.049 --> 00:19:38.009
Because sometimes there's a little bit of, you know, a
487
00:19:38.950 --> 00:19:41.230
game of telephone with comedians of like, did you hear
488
00:19:41.230 --> 00:19:44.079
about this? Did you hear about this? It was pure, like, TMZ, like,
489
00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:45.440
what the fuck just happened?
490
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:45.670
Yeah.
491
00:19:45.670 --> 00:19:47.920
Yeah and it was also obviously so insane because like
492
00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:50.539
i also have no idea what yeah happened or caused it.
493
00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:52.059
I mean i reached out to my friend who works
494
00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:54.799
on bob's burger burgers just to uh yes you know
495
00:19:54.900 --> 00:19:57.319
see what what he knew about it and you know
496
00:19:57.339 --> 00:19:59.039
and so i got a little more information.
497
00:19:58.660 --> 00:20:00.680
Yes because i was supposed to record the next day
498
00:20:01.539 --> 00:20:06.509
um and i couldn't um and and so i uh
499
00:20:06.569 --> 00:20:09.369
yeah so so we i call like my wife called
500
00:20:09.390 --> 00:20:12.170
bobs and let them know and then so everyone there
501
00:20:12.210 --> 00:20:13.710
knew i was basically.
502
00:20:13.490 --> 00:20:15.670
Fine but but you know obviously.
503
00:20:15.230 --> 00:20:17.170
And you're and you're like you're not burned up or
504
00:20:17.210 --> 00:20:18.950
anything like that and you basically wake up in the
505
00:20:18.990 --> 00:20:22.210
hospital how how long are you there.
506
00:20:22.130 --> 00:20:23.829
I was there for essentially three days two and a
507
00:20:23.849 --> 00:20:24.309
half days.
508
00:20:24.470 --> 00:20:26.849
Why why so long if there wasn't.
509
00:20:26.970 --> 00:20:29.210
Well because i broke my wrist and then i so
510
00:20:29.230 --> 00:20:31.230
i broke my wrist and had surgery on it oh
511
00:20:31.250 --> 00:20:34.329
okay um and i had fractured or broken two ribs
512
00:20:34.390 --> 00:20:36.869
in my sternum and had a concussion and maybe like
513
00:20:36.930 --> 00:20:39.930
a bruised like there was i wasn't like not injured
514
00:20:40.009 --> 00:20:45.269
but i wasn't like uh so injured that that once
515
00:20:45.430 --> 00:20:48.980
i had surgery and it's and and also the the
516
00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:51.089
person next to me who was a very nice man,
517
00:20:51.450 --> 00:20:53.210
but also he listened to the news very loud. So
518
00:20:53.289 --> 00:20:55.609
every day I would hear my story of my car
519
00:20:55.690 --> 00:21:00.690
accident very loudly with new pieces of information added each day.
520
00:21:00.710 --> 00:21:03.180
And so it was like, you know, at first it's like,
521
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:06.180
you know, the governor's details saves this man from a
522
00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:08.859
burning car. And then it's like, good news. That man
523
00:21:08.920 --> 00:21:12.349
is Eugene Burbidge. That's what we were when I was
524
00:21:12.410 --> 00:21:16.109
filling out like the discharge hospital papers. It was the
525
00:21:16.170 --> 00:21:20.480
story of it being me finally revealed as if that
526
00:21:20.519 --> 00:21:22.640
was like the funnest thing in the world.
527
00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:24.980
We got a great big surprise for everyone.
528
00:21:25.039 --> 00:21:25.319
Yeah.
529
00:21:25.380 --> 00:21:26.940
You could know his voice.
530
00:21:27.940 --> 00:21:28.519
Yeah.
531
00:21:28.579 --> 00:21:28.859
Yeah.
532
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:30.329
That was that was fun.
533
00:21:31.410 --> 00:21:32.690
And did the guy in the bed next to you
534
00:21:32.750 --> 00:21:34.940
who was hearing this news, did he ever go like,
535
00:21:35.339 --> 00:21:36.559
wait a minute, are you?
536
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:36.859
Yeah.
537
00:21:36.900 --> 00:21:39.940
So like after maybe the second day or something, he's like, hey,
538
00:21:39.960 --> 00:21:41.940
are you the guy from the crash? And I was like,
539
00:21:42.140 --> 00:21:42.829
I am.
540
00:21:43.170 --> 00:21:44.970
He's the guy who called TMZ, didn't he?
541
00:21:45.329 --> 00:21:47.789
No, I think TMZ just called the hospitals in the area.
542
00:21:47.809 --> 00:21:49.450
And I don't know how many there are. Maybe it
543
00:21:49.490 --> 00:21:50.509
was the first or third call.
544
00:21:51.130 --> 00:21:54.259
So do they know it's you and they're calling hospitals
545
00:21:54.319 --> 00:21:55.759
in the area or are they just calling hospitals?
546
00:21:55.779 --> 00:21:59.099
I think they're calling and asking for Eugene Merman. And then,
547
00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:01.359
you know, and the nurses were so sweet and the
548
00:22:01.400 --> 00:22:03.880
staff there was so sweet. And then when that happened
549
00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:07.250
and I was sort of visibly shaken, they were like,
550
00:22:07.289 --> 00:22:09.359
we can make you a private patient. And I was like, oh,
551
00:22:09.369 --> 00:22:11.890
what's that? And they're like, well, nobody can call you.
552
00:22:12.390 --> 00:22:14.190
And then you can make even a password for people
553
00:22:14.230 --> 00:22:15.799
to come. But then, of course, the only people actually
554
00:22:15.819 --> 00:22:18.420
visiting are like my friends and family. So it's like
555
00:22:18.460 --> 00:22:20.369
very funny where like the next day they asked my
556
00:22:20.410 --> 00:22:23.269
brother for the password and he's like, what password? And
557
00:22:23.289 --> 00:22:24.970
then so they would come to me and be like,
558
00:22:25.009 --> 00:22:27.019
this guy is your brother? And I was like, yes, yes, please,
559
00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:27.859
please let him visit me.
560
00:22:28.819 --> 00:22:29.059
Wow.
561
00:22:29.240 --> 00:22:32.740
Although it would be really fun, though, if the TMZ
562
00:22:32.779 --> 00:22:35.440
guy says, like, you know, I'm his brother and.
563
00:22:35.490 --> 00:22:37.450
Pretends to be your brother. No, they just call probably
564
00:22:37.509 --> 00:22:38.670
hospitals and ask to speak to me.
565
00:22:39.009 --> 00:22:39.250
Wow.
566
00:22:39.430 --> 00:22:41.650
But yeah, but they reacted very quickly. And then after that,
567
00:22:41.769 --> 00:22:43.210
it was probably hard to call.
568
00:22:43.529 --> 00:22:47.730
Well, I mean, it is a bizarre thing, I'm sure,
569
00:22:47.859 --> 00:22:52.420
to go through something like this, hopefully decades away from when,
570
00:22:53.400 --> 00:22:54.700
you know, it'll happen for real.
571
00:22:55.160 --> 00:22:55.940
You know what I mean?
572
00:22:55.960 --> 00:22:57.039
Yes, I hope that.
573
00:22:57.960 --> 00:23:00.720
In 51 years, when I'm 102, I do it again.
574
00:23:00.819 --> 00:23:01.099
Yes.
575
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:03.779
And whatever, you know, that'll be.
576
00:23:03.740 --> 00:23:07.869
My- And that's the final chapter. Exactly. But it's, you
577
00:23:07.970 --> 00:23:12.069
must have some inkling of how loved and respected you
578
00:23:12.170 --> 00:23:14.069
are within the community and.
579
00:23:14.150 --> 00:23:17.170
Yes, there was a very sweet outpouring and lots of
580
00:23:17.390 --> 00:23:21.480
people texting and- Yeah. And it was, yes. So there, there,
581
00:23:21.539 --> 00:23:22.859
there was a great deal.
582
00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:26.279
And we don't always know that we, you know, we, uh, uh,
583
00:23:26.440 --> 00:23:28.460
sometimes can be like, I wonder what other people think
584
00:23:28.500 --> 00:23:30.000
about me. I bet they talk shit about me all
585
00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:34.150
the time. And then you find out that no, actually they, uh, they,
586
00:23:34.289 --> 00:23:38.410
they enjoy your company and respect you. Um, and we
587
00:23:38.569 --> 00:23:42.710
are very glad that you're here, uh, and not, uh, uh,
588
00:23:42.789 --> 00:23:45.569
you know, wherever we did, did you get any kind
589
00:23:45.609 --> 00:23:48.549
of like, glimpse into the great beyond did you like
590
00:23:48.569 --> 00:23:50.450
go towards a light or anything like that.
591
00:23:50.269 --> 00:23:52.589
No i i mean look is it really tempting to
592
00:23:52.630 --> 00:23:54.609
be like i spoke to god and he told me
593
00:23:54.670 --> 00:23:56.930
these things and you have to follow my new cult
594
00:23:57.730 --> 00:24:00.049
and be like i'm stone tablets yeah exactly like as
595
00:24:00.089 --> 00:24:02.730
you guys can imagine i'm fireproof so i think we
596
00:24:03.579 --> 00:24:04.960
Should do everything I say.
597
00:24:04.980 --> 00:24:10.440
Um, no, I, I mean, like, no, it was just dreamland.
598
00:24:10.980 --> 00:24:13.400
I mean, I, yeah, I was just unconscious and then
599
00:24:13.519 --> 00:24:18.109
conscious and very confused and very, like, upset and traumatized,
600
00:24:18.180 --> 00:24:19.109
but not, um.
601
00:24:20.089 --> 00:24:23.809
Do you think you'll ever go through that toll booth again? Well,
602
00:24:23.849 --> 00:24:24.289
here's the thing.
603
00:24:24.329 --> 00:24:28.829
The funding already exists to remove it. Because a lot
604
00:24:28.849 --> 00:24:31.410
of people do crash into it. Not like, again, more
605
00:24:31.470 --> 00:24:35.089
than don't. But the funding is there to remove the
606
00:24:35.130 --> 00:24:35.589
toll booth.
607
00:24:35.609 --> 00:24:37.049
So this was already in the works.
608
00:24:37.109 --> 00:24:40.119
Because I think it's an unhelpful thing.
609
00:24:40.539 --> 00:24:41.380
Does it collect money?
610
00:24:41.400 --> 00:24:44.440
I believe it does through some sort of scanning system.
611
00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:46.259
You should get like a free pass through this for
612
00:24:46.279 --> 00:24:46.940
the rest of your life.
613
00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:50.299
I mean, I wish there were ceremonies for removing a
614
00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:51.839
toll booth because I would absolutely attend.
615
00:24:51.859 --> 00:24:54.539
But I can't imagine. And you would like, what's the
616
00:24:54.579 --> 00:24:58.940
reverse of having a big ribbon? Yeah, like you seal
617
00:24:58.980 --> 00:24:59.089
a red.
618
00:24:59.119 --> 00:24:59.460
Tape.
619
00:24:59.660 --> 00:25:03.670
Yes. I would gladly be there for the unveiling of
620
00:25:03.750 --> 00:25:04.430
no toll booth.
621
00:25:04.609 --> 00:25:07.700
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're like the patron saint of
622
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:09.839
that area now. I bet they should erect like a
623
00:25:09.880 --> 00:25:10.579
statue there.
624
00:25:10.599 --> 00:25:11.779
I don't know. I mean, all I did is for
625
00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:11.960
no clear.
626
00:25:11.980 --> 00:25:14.460
Do you think people would crash into the statue then or? Oh,
627
00:25:14.779 --> 00:25:15.339
I don't think they should.
628
00:25:15.380 --> 00:25:17.039
Well, maybe they put the statue on the side of
629
00:25:17.059 --> 00:25:18.920
the highway. So I wouldn't want to do a thing
630
00:25:18.940 --> 00:25:20.900
where like we've replaced this now with a statue you
631
00:25:20.920 --> 00:25:23.589
have to dodge. But yeah.
632
00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:30.759
Well, congratulations, Eugene. It's at least an interesting experience. I
633
00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:32.720
know you probably were in some pain.
634
00:25:32.740 --> 00:25:33.609
Yes, yes.
635
00:25:33.930 --> 00:25:37.549
And you seem okay now. I am relatively.
636
00:25:37.609 --> 00:25:40.430
I mean, I think I'm just so thankful. And I am, yeah,
637
00:25:40.569 --> 00:25:44.039
much more okay than one would imagine from whatever.
638
00:25:44.190 --> 00:25:47.319
Was there anything, not to continue dwelling on this, but
639
00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:50.079
was there anything that you were like, Oh, shit. Now
640
00:25:50.180 --> 00:25:52.660
I really know I need to put this bit of
641
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:54.289
my affairs in order or anything.
642
00:25:54.430 --> 00:25:58.569
So this is sort of the... The truth is, as
643
00:25:58.609 --> 00:26:01.710
you know, like, my... First wife died from cancer.
644
00:26:01.809 --> 00:26:01.950
Right.
645
00:26:02.329 --> 00:26:06.769
So I had already prioritized my life in a way
646
00:26:06.930 --> 00:26:09.210
of what was sort of important and meaningful to me.
647
00:26:09.230 --> 00:26:09.529
Right.
648
00:26:09.569 --> 00:26:13.759
So I truly didn't need another life lesson of how
649
00:26:13.900 --> 00:26:15.059
valuable life is.
650
00:26:15.140 --> 00:26:16.180
I get it.
651
00:26:16.220 --> 00:26:21.079
Because I was all set. So now I'm like, oh,
652
00:26:21.140 --> 00:26:26.450
life is super duper precious. And it's just like.
653
00:26:27.380 --> 00:26:27.799
I don't know.
654
00:26:27.880 --> 00:26:32.400
Yeah, so the irony is, is I already, like, I live,
655
00:26:32.880 --> 00:26:35.519
you know, in like a place near friends and family,
656
00:26:35.640 --> 00:26:39.509
and I already sort of prioritize the things.
657
00:26:39.630 --> 00:26:42.349
Do you feel like, who's that dude in the Bible? Job, right?
658
00:26:42.670 --> 00:26:44.190
I mean, he's certainly in the Bible, but I don't
659
00:26:44.230 --> 00:26:45.809
know enough to.
660
00:26:45.849 --> 00:26:47.769
You know, where it's just like, man, why is all
661
00:26:47.809 --> 00:26:48.930
this shit happening to me?
662
00:26:49.170 --> 00:26:49.369
Yeah.
663
00:26:49.589 --> 00:26:51.869
And then you look at, I'm trying to think of
664
00:26:51.930 --> 00:26:52.410
anyone else.
665
00:26:52.769 --> 00:26:52.930
Yeah.
666
00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:53.519
In comedy.
667
00:26:53.539 --> 00:26:53.630
Yeah.
668
00:26:54.029 --> 00:26:55.369
Who just has an easy time of it.
669
00:26:55.710 --> 00:26:58.029
Oh, I don't know. I imagine everyone in comedy, no
670
00:26:58.089 --> 00:26:59.349
one has like an easy time.
671
00:26:59.410 --> 00:27:02.009
One of the other titans of comedy, like, oh boy,
672
00:27:02.029 --> 00:27:03.670
why didn't this happen to Nathan Fielder?
673
00:27:04.170 --> 00:27:06.910
Oh, I don't know. People would be, it can't happen
674
00:27:06.930 --> 00:27:09.339
to Nathan Fielder because people would be like, this is for,
675
00:27:09.539 --> 00:27:12.220
he is recreating a toll crash. He's going to recreate
676
00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:15.779
my thing. That'll be his next series will be him
677
00:27:15.900 --> 00:27:19.740
rebuilding that toll booth on a stretch of highway in Indiana.
678
00:27:21.470 --> 00:27:25.759
Well, the special is Here Comes the Whimsy, and it's
679
00:27:25.799 --> 00:27:28.960
getting great reviews all across the board. It's on YouTube,
680
00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:30.200
and it's free to watch.
681
00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:36.369
It's $ 2, 000 of you. My recoupment plan is, yeah, I
682
00:27:36.390 --> 00:27:38.930
just need... 17 people.
683
00:27:39.089 --> 00:27:42.329
And there's no GoFundMe or anything for you? No.
684
00:27:42.910 --> 00:27:45.880
Sorry, that was too dramatic. That was really forceful. Yeah,
685
00:27:45.970 --> 00:27:49.140
I just, no, I haven't. You mean for the special
686
00:27:49.220 --> 00:27:50.519
or for just me personally?
687
00:27:50.539 --> 00:27:53.500
No, just for you. I mean, you have a part
688
00:27:53.539 --> 00:27:54.980
on a long-running sitcom.
689
00:27:55.019 --> 00:27:58.809
Yeah, I have healthcare through SAG-AFTRA, as I imagine a
690
00:27:58.849 --> 00:27:59.390
lot of us do.
691
00:27:59.410 --> 00:27:59.630
Yeah.
692
00:28:00.230 --> 00:28:01.329
It's insane that.
693
00:28:01.170 --> 00:28:03.420
We tie healthcare into people's jobs, isn't it?
694
00:28:04.049 --> 00:28:07.150
Yes, though I think until I'm 65, I'll have healthcare,
695
00:28:07.190 --> 00:28:10.710
and then I probably have to just never crash again,
696
00:28:11.410 --> 00:28:12.190
however it works.
697
00:28:13.089 --> 00:28:16.390
Do you think you will drive now, and have you
698
00:28:16.430 --> 00:28:21.170
been driving, with extra care? Or have you just slipped
699
00:28:21.210 --> 00:28:23.990
right back into the old, like... Yeah, I mean, I
700
00:28:24.029 --> 00:28:24.990
think we were driving.
701
00:28:26.200 --> 00:28:29.109
recently and i like let like probably like five cars
702
00:28:29.200 --> 00:28:31.549
in front of me and my wife's like what are
703
00:28:31.569 --> 00:28:36.170
you doing i'm like i'm just very very careful um
704
00:28:36.990 --> 00:28:39.470
but yeah i mean that's the thing like i think
705
00:28:39.569 --> 00:28:42.009
i'm you know i'm gonna like all the things that
706
00:28:42.029 --> 00:28:45.480
could have caused this are basically like like me being
707
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:48.359
distracted something medically with me or something with the car
708
00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:49.240
or probably.
709
00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:51.859
It's not like another car no there was no other
710
00:28:51.900 --> 00:28:56.230
car my car yeah i wasn't trying to stop or
711
00:28:56.289 --> 00:28:57.990
jerking in any way, which means, I don't know, it
712
00:28:58.009 --> 00:28:59.650
was probably in some sort of auto drive.
713
00:28:59.670 --> 00:29:04.730
Um, probably, but not definitely. Uh, but it doesn't, but again,
714
00:29:04.819 --> 00:29:09.359
because I wouldn't intentionally drive quickly into a toll booth smoothly.
715
00:29:09.380 --> 00:29:12.339
I have to imagine it was probably in some sort
716
00:29:12.380 --> 00:29:15.700
of mode like that. And then probably something happened to
717
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:18.069
me to not make me stop it.
718
00:29:18.460 --> 00:29:19.960
Maybe you thought it was something else, though.
719
00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:22.579
It's true that there could have been a glare. It's
720
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:24.599
not impossible that there was some sort of glare.
721
00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:27.839
I don't mean it was empty road. You thought it
722
00:29:27.900 --> 00:29:30.460
was like a duck or something that you wanted to kill.
723
00:29:30.500 --> 00:29:32.940
I mean, a toll booth, it is possible that there's
724
00:29:32.980 --> 00:29:35.470
some sort of turn in the way the sun... you know, anyway,
725
00:29:35.529 --> 00:29:38.029
these are all possibilities. There was a thing with like
726
00:29:38.069 --> 00:29:40.930
the insurance claim where you basically have to be like,
727
00:29:40.990 --> 00:29:44.559
am I 50.1% responsible? And I had to be like, yeah,
728
00:29:44.579 --> 00:29:47.049
I mean, no one else was driving. Even if it's
729
00:29:47.230 --> 00:29:49.450
all these other things, I can't be like, well, it
730
00:29:49.490 --> 00:29:51.750
wasn't me. I'm 10% responsible.
731
00:29:51.769 --> 00:29:52.670
The shaggy defense.
732
00:29:52.710 --> 00:29:54.470
It wasn't me. Yeah, yeah.
733
00:29:54.609 --> 00:29:58.009
Well, here comes The Whimsy is out right now, and
734
00:29:58.549 --> 00:30:00.910
I implore everyone to see it. There's no better time
735
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:03.599
than watching Eugene do comedy.
736
00:30:04.259 --> 00:30:04.400
I've.
737
00:30:04.759 --> 00:30:08.500
I've been seeing you since, God, now for 25 years,
738
00:30:08.579 --> 00:30:10.900
I feel like. I think I saw you out here
739
00:30:10.920 --> 00:30:12.700
at the Knitting Factory opening for Stella.
740
00:30:12.720 --> 00:30:13.579
Yeah, for Stella, yeah.
741
00:30:13.599 --> 00:30:17.200
Yeah, you know, and it's just one of the most
742
00:30:17.299 --> 00:30:20.519
unique minds in comedy. And honestly, he's one of the
743
00:30:20.559 --> 00:30:22.299
titans of comedy, which says a lot.
744
00:30:22.740 --> 00:30:23.640
It does.
745
00:30:24.339 --> 00:30:26.299
And we're going to take a break. When we come back,
746
00:30:26.339 --> 00:30:28.029
we have a ghost expert. We also have a bird.
747
00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:29.259
Does that sound good?
748
00:30:29.640 --> 00:30:31.579
Yeah, it doesn't sound good. It sounds great.
749
00:30:31.920 --> 00:30:33.599
All right, we're going to take a break. We're going
750
00:30:33.619 --> 00:30:35.630
to come right back with more Eugene Merman, more Comedy
751
00:30:35.670 --> 00:30:37.309
Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this.
752
00:30:39.789 --> 00:30:42.509
The Chemist's Warehouse Fall Frenzy Mega Sale is now live.
753
00:30:42.650 --> 00:30:44.930
Find up to half price off RRP on big brands
754
00:30:45.069 --> 00:30:48.170
like John Frieda, Batiste and Aussie Hair Care or Solgar,
755
00:30:48.190 --> 00:30:50.519
Meet Today and Chewy Bites Vitamins. And find up to
756
00:30:50.559 --> 00:30:54.680
half price off RRP on Emco Beauty, W7 and Rimmel Cosmetics.
757
00:30:54.799 --> 00:30:57.940
But hurry, sale must end September 20. Chemist's Warehouse, great
758
00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:59.119
savings every day.
759
00:31:00.970 --> 00:31:04.809
Treacherous ring roads lie ahead on our mission to reach Nannas.
760
00:31:05.210 --> 00:31:05.569
We must.
761
00:31:05.589 --> 00:31:08.240
Go to Mackey's for black pepper and garlic McNuggets.
762
00:31:08.680 --> 00:31:09.859
Navigation rerouting.
763
00:31:10.660 --> 00:31:13.460
The main mission can wait. Take a side mission to McDonald's.
764
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:17.779
Available until the 29th of September from 11am. Wastock slash
765
00:31:17.799 --> 00:31:19.500
subject to availability participation varies.
766
00:31:19.700 --> 00:31:23.140
Delicious beef ragu for dinner. Because you can't keep up
767
00:31:23.180 --> 00:31:25.950
with all the group chat. Make your mark.
768
00:31:26.069 --> 00:31:28.849
Always choose beef with the Bored Be A Quality mark.
769
00:31:51.789 --> 00:31:54.329
Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Eugene Merman is here. Here
770
00:31:54.430 --> 00:31:57.910
comes the whimsy is his special. You can get it
771
00:31:58.029 --> 00:32:01.059
on YouTube. What are we talking about? 60 minutes, 61, 62?
772
00:32:01.059 --> 00:32:05.380
Yeah, I forget its exact length. I think it's somewhere
773
00:32:05.400 --> 00:32:06.279
in the 56 to 57.
774
00:32:06.279 --> 00:32:08.279
Is that one of the things you forgot in the accident?
775
00:32:08.680 --> 00:32:10.960
Yeah, I forget the exact length of my special. That's the,
776
00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:15.029
I have a concussion and I forgot the accident and
777
00:32:15.089 --> 00:32:17.890
the exact Time length of my special.
778
00:32:17.970 --> 00:32:20.549
Okay, well, let me look it up for you.
779
00:32:21.410 --> 00:32:21.599
Sure.
780
00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:23.980
Here comes the whimsy.
781
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:24.079
Yeah.
782
00:32:25.319 --> 00:32:30.579
It happens to be... 57 minutes, 15 seconds. I'm going
783
00:32:30.599 --> 00:32:32.440
to have to click on it in order to figure
784
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:37.119
this out. People in this room. That's the first line
785
00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:37.799
of the special.
786
00:32:38.059 --> 00:32:39.759
Yeah, that's John Hodgman introducing me.
787
00:32:40.039 --> 00:32:42.599
Oh, John Hodgman, our good friend John Hodgman who owns
788
00:32:42.640 --> 00:32:47.940
a boat. It is 55 minutes and two seconds. Okay.
789
00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:49.539
Yeah, that's pretty reasonable.
790
00:32:49.700 --> 00:32:51.119
Okay, now I'm going to ask you again and see
791
00:32:51.160 --> 00:32:52.960
if you remember. How long is your special?
792
00:32:55.460 --> 00:33:00.700
I don't want to get this wrong. I... believe it
793
00:33:00.900 --> 00:33:02.700
is 55 minutes and two seconds.
794
00:33:02.839 --> 00:33:06.470
Wow. Okay, great. So there's no long lasting damage here.
795
00:33:06.750 --> 00:33:07.569
Neurological damage.
796
00:33:07.589 --> 00:33:09.109
What we don't know is do I still have short
797
00:33:09.130 --> 00:33:10.769
term memory? You'll have to ask me at the end.
798
00:33:11.089 --> 00:33:12.809
Okay, I'll ask you at the end and see if
799
00:33:12.829 --> 00:33:14.970
you remember. This is a good test. Okay, we need
800
00:33:14.990 --> 00:33:18.319
to get to our next guest. He's a ghost expert.
801
00:33:18.619 --> 00:33:21.720
Please welcome to the show, Devin Green. Hello, Scott Aukerman.
802
00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:25.839
Great to be here. Oh, what an interesting accent. An accent.
803
00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:28.160
Or dialect, yeah. It's a little hard to pin down,
804
00:33:28.220 --> 00:33:31.029
isn't it? Where are you from? It sounds a bit Irish?
805
00:33:31.730 --> 00:33:32.849
It's mostly Irish.
806
00:33:33.250 --> 00:33:33.650
Okay.
807
00:33:33.690 --> 00:33:35.809
I'm on a wee island to the west of Ireland.
808
00:33:36.009 --> 00:33:36.529
Oh, okay.
809
00:33:36.990 --> 00:33:40.509
Although I should tell you it's a metropolitan area, and
810
00:33:40.549 --> 00:33:42.569
I've been told many accents are in play.
811
00:33:43.109 --> 00:33:45.690
I see. Okay, well, and that's where you were born.
812
00:33:45.730 --> 00:33:50.140
And that's where I was born and raised. Island's name? Grumbledum. Grumbledum. Wow.
813
00:33:50.200 --> 00:33:51.140
Is that near Dingle?
814
00:33:52.130 --> 00:33:55.420
I think it is. I'm not much one for geography,
815
00:33:55.460 --> 00:33:57.140
I'm afraid, but I believe it is.
816
00:33:57.180 --> 00:33:59.809
People famously don't know the geography.
817
00:34:00.599 --> 00:34:01.579
It's pretty far. Of where they're from.
818
00:34:01.759 --> 00:34:04.440
It's pretty far west. Well, I know Grumbledome, but once
819
00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:06.720
you leave the island, you know, it gets a bit foggy.
820
00:34:07.029 --> 00:34:08.269
Well, it's so nice to have you on the show.
821
00:34:08.329 --> 00:34:08.690
Is it?
822
00:34:09.269 --> 00:34:11.070
It really is, yes. Oh, it's great to hear. That
823
00:34:11.090 --> 00:34:12.889
seems like it's a surprise to you. I'm not sure why.
824
00:34:12.909 --> 00:34:13.349
I just don't know.
825
00:34:13.409 --> 00:34:15.929
It's my first time in America, so. I heard you
826
00:34:15.949 --> 00:34:16.869
were a bit prickly here.
827
00:34:17.389 --> 00:34:20.260
Oh, no, not at all. You was a country. Oh, oh, oh, okay.
828
00:34:20.300 --> 00:34:23.360
Not you. That can be true, yeah. But no, here
829
00:34:23.380 --> 00:34:25.309
at Comedy Bang Bang- This is the show where we
830
00:34:25.329 --> 00:34:26.309
talk to interesting people.
831
00:34:26.469 --> 00:34:28.650
Oh, I'm one of them, I think, so that's good
832
00:34:28.670 --> 00:34:29.110
to hear.
833
00:34:29.150 --> 00:34:31.670
I hope so. Let's hear your details, and I'll decide
834
00:34:31.690 --> 00:34:32.610
after that. We'll judge at the end.
835
00:34:32.670 --> 00:34:34.909
You make a proclamation when I'm finished if I was
836
00:34:34.949 --> 00:34:35.510
indeed interested.
837
00:34:35.530 --> 00:34:35.809
That's right.
838
00:34:35.849 --> 00:34:39.510
Now, you are a ghost expert, which seems interesting to me.
839
00:34:39.630 --> 00:34:43.269
So far, looking up. Yeah, so tell me about what
840
00:34:43.289 --> 00:34:44.110
you're an expert on.
841
00:34:44.250 --> 00:34:48.559
Well, I'm a history of folklore and ghost tales and
842
00:34:48.699 --> 00:34:52.739
sightings and hauntings. And in my home island of Grimaldum,
843
00:34:52.760 --> 00:34:55.699
I give tours. Because there's many folklore.
844
00:34:55.820 --> 00:34:58.059
You know, it seems so soon for you to move
845
00:34:58.139 --> 00:35:01.340
on to your side business. Sure. Like, we haven't explored, like,
846
00:35:01.699 --> 00:35:04.659
you know... Let's stay on folklore. No, of course. That
847
00:35:04.679 --> 00:35:07.119
will put a pin in that. You know what I mean?
848
00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:09.769
I mean, like... No, sure, yes. I'm barely just registering,
849
00:35:09.789 --> 00:35:12.530
you know... I didn't mean to rush you. Let's let
850
00:35:12.570 --> 00:35:14.250
it soak in. Yeah, I would love that.
851
00:35:14.429 --> 00:35:17.590
I'm a man of mostly Irish accent from an island.
852
00:35:17.809 --> 00:35:18.969
Eugene, do you believe in ghosts?
853
00:35:20.150 --> 00:35:20.309
Um.
854
00:35:21.010 --> 00:35:21.449
Be honest.
855
00:35:22.469 --> 00:35:22.869
No.
856
00:35:22.889 --> 00:35:24.050
Okay. All right.
857
00:35:24.659 --> 00:35:28.320
But I believe that there's things that we don't know.
858
00:35:28.340 --> 00:35:29.079
Okay.
859
00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:30.619
But they're probably not ghosts.
860
00:35:30.659 --> 00:35:31.760
We know that. That's not real.
861
00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:35.300
We don't know. Well, let's keep the first part there.
862
00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:38.139
But you believe that you are in contact with ghosts?
863
00:35:38.260 --> 00:35:40.570
I have been in contact with many ghosts.
864
00:35:40.679 --> 00:35:42.989
Okay. So you're not just an expert on them. You
865
00:35:43.050 --> 00:35:47.449
actually correspond with them? I have corresponded. I've got many
866
00:35:47.489 --> 00:35:48.210
a pen pal.
867
00:35:49.090 --> 00:35:50.949
Are there things they can tell you that you would
868
00:35:50.989 --> 00:35:52.409
otherwise not be able to know?
869
00:35:52.550 --> 00:35:55.710
Yes, very much so. I love talking to ghosts. They
870
00:35:55.750 --> 00:35:57.179
know so much. They know so much.
871
00:35:57.239 --> 00:35:57.489
Yeah.
872
00:35:57.639 --> 00:36:00.579
Are you, you know, we've talked about several times about
873
00:36:00.619 --> 00:36:03.880
how putting on a show for the ghosts is masturbating.
874
00:36:04.659 --> 00:36:09.179
That's right. That's how I think of it. Yeah. Do they,
875
00:36:09.300 --> 00:36:11.119
when they talk to you, do they say, they love it.
876
00:36:11.210 --> 00:36:15.329
They love watching people masturbate and they report in. They're
877
00:36:15.389 --> 00:36:18.369
so tickled by it. They like the different people's styles.
878
00:36:18.409 --> 00:36:20.969
That's right. Yes. And only really they have the knowledge
879
00:36:20.989 --> 00:36:21.590
of that. Yeah.
880
00:36:21.610 --> 00:36:21.699
Yeah.
881
00:36:22.460 --> 00:36:24.559
And what is the first ghost that you ever either
882
00:36:24.639 --> 00:36:27.039
saw or heard or experienced? So many, because I was.
883
00:36:26.909 --> 00:36:28.909
Raised, you know, the island's so full of folklore. I'm
884
00:36:28.949 --> 00:36:30.610
not sure I can tell you the first.
885
00:36:30.829 --> 00:36:31.210
One I knew.
886
00:36:31.230 --> 00:36:33.190
That's okay. What are my favorites? Just an early memory.
887
00:36:33.849 --> 00:36:36.409
I suppose my favorite when I was a child is
888
00:36:36.510 --> 00:36:39.110
Miss Patty Greenlee.
889
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:41.119
Miss Patty Greenlee.
890
00:36:41.199 --> 00:36:43.559
So here's the thing, Scott. If you're a naughty child
891
00:36:44.019 --> 00:36:47.119
and you're in the Castle Greenlee, okay, where Miss Patty
892
00:36:47.159 --> 00:36:51.500
Greenlee was a servant, all right, and you misbehave, you'll
893
00:36:51.539 --> 00:36:56.300
hear Mrs. Greenlee's shoes creeping up behind you.
894
00:36:56.519 --> 00:36:56.780
Oh, no.
895
00:36:56.840 --> 00:37:01.780
Pit, pat, pit, pat. And if you don't run away immediately,
896
00:37:02.260 --> 00:37:07.289
you'll get covered in juice. Juice? She was a maid
897
00:37:07.309 --> 00:37:10.429
who brought juice. Orange juice, apple juice.
898
00:37:10.570 --> 00:37:13.050
Does she do this as a ghost or this is
899
00:37:13.090 --> 00:37:14.820
when she was alive? As a ghost and as alive.
900
00:37:15.519 --> 00:37:17.300
So she used to throw juice?
901
00:37:18.099 --> 00:37:19.679
Well, when she was alive, as I understand it, it
902
00:37:19.719 --> 00:37:23.130
was celebrations. You know, she'd come into the room of...
903
00:37:22.909 --> 00:37:24.809
I feel like I'm losing you already.
904
00:37:25.050 --> 00:37:26.710
No, no, no. I'm just trying to figure out if
905
00:37:26.750 --> 00:37:29.429
she would throw juice and then in the afterlife, if
906
00:37:29.469 --> 00:37:30.929
she was like, that was my favorite part of life,
907
00:37:30.949 --> 00:37:31.610
so I'm going to continue.
908
00:37:31.639 --> 00:37:33.699
I think that's what it was. So it wasn't something
909
00:37:33.739 --> 00:37:35.579
where she was in charge of the juice, but she
910
00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:37.760
would just deliver it calmly to people. This was a
911
00:37:37.780 --> 00:37:40.340
thing when she was alive, she would literally throw juice
912
00:37:40.440 --> 00:37:42.360
on people. That's right, yeah. As a celebration.
913
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:44.400
Well, she was a maid, a servant of the castle,
914
00:37:44.420 --> 00:37:46.579
so I'm assuming she had many other duties, but... Okay,
915
00:37:46.619 --> 00:37:47.980
so this wasn't her only thing.
916
00:37:48.099 --> 00:37:50.199
I don't think so. She's the throw juice woman that
917
00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:50.619
we contact.
918
00:37:51.639 --> 00:37:53.940
every eight days no i doubt that was her only
919
00:37:54.039 --> 00:37:55.579
response i have to say i know more of her
920
00:37:55.619 --> 00:37:57.679
as a ghost as a ghost that's all she does
921
00:37:57.980 --> 00:37:59.860
okay but i imagine in her life that was just
922
00:37:59.989 --> 00:38:01.190
one of many activities and.
923
00:38:01.179 --> 00:38:04.550
Is the juice uh a ghost as well the juice
924
00:38:04.650 --> 00:38:08.210
is real so so she goes around finding real juice
925
00:38:08.250 --> 00:38:09.829
what if that's what she does what if you just
926
00:38:09.869 --> 00:38:11.769
didn't keep juice in your house then she's out of
927
00:38:11.869 --> 00:38:13.489
options and what she does is you hear the pit
928
00:38:13.769 --> 00:38:17.460
the pat the pit and she goes oh shit And
929
00:38:17.480 --> 00:38:19.440
then that's it. And she goes somewhere else where there
930
00:38:19.460 --> 00:38:19.880
might be juice.
931
00:38:19.900 --> 00:38:22.380
But I give a tour and I leave juice around
932
00:38:22.460 --> 00:38:23.960
because it's a great- We're back to the tour, huh?
933
00:38:24.619 --> 00:38:28.349
I promise I won't stay long. It seemed extremely related
934
00:38:28.389 --> 00:38:29.190
to what you're saying.
935
00:38:29.449 --> 00:38:31.480
It's okay. No, go ahead with the tour. Nah, forget it.
936
00:38:32.250 --> 00:38:34.590
I leave juice out. If she's got no juice, you know,
937
00:38:34.630 --> 00:38:36.389
she just sort of says, well, you know, shite, that's it.
938
00:38:36.710 --> 00:38:36.989
Yeah.
939
00:38:37.329 --> 00:38:41.690
Yeah. I mean, that sounds creepy. I don't necessarily want juice.
940
00:38:41.730 --> 00:38:44.329
I mean, I feel like if a ghost threw juice
941
00:38:44.429 --> 00:38:47.150
on me, I would then kind of be like, ghosts
942
00:38:47.349 --> 00:38:50.630
are real, and I would... You certainly would. In the telling,
943
00:38:50.670 --> 00:38:52.210
if I were to be like, Eugene, I swear ghosts
944
00:38:52.250 --> 00:38:53.869
are real, one threw juice on me.
945
00:38:54.570 --> 00:38:56.949
What I would say to you is I definitely believe
946
00:38:56.989 --> 00:38:58.670
juice somehow was thrown at you.
947
00:38:58.690 --> 00:39:01.110
But wouldn't you believe it more than, oh, I saw
948
00:39:01.150 --> 00:39:02.989
a creepy thing, and I didn't know what it was?
949
00:39:03.210 --> 00:39:05.429
Yeah, I guess if juice came out of nowhere, unless
950
00:39:05.489 --> 00:39:08.090
you were like... Like.
951
00:39:07.409 --> 00:39:09.610
Earlier in the day, I was working on a juice catapult.
952
00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:13.179
Yeah, or there was juice in a glass on your desk,
953
00:39:13.260 --> 00:39:15.570
and you were like, I don't think I bumped it.
954
00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:16.980
I think a ghost spilled it on me.
955
00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:18.880
But if I was like, there was no juice anywhere
956
00:39:19.000 --> 00:39:22.820
other than in the kitchen, and suddenly something threw juice
957
00:39:22.929 --> 00:39:25.150
on me, there was no one else, you might go like.
958
00:39:25.469 --> 00:39:29.630
I'd be like, yeah, that's probably a ghost, or maybe
959
00:39:29.670 --> 00:39:33.619
I'd be like... invisible monkeys are real and they're mischievous.
960
00:39:33.739 --> 00:39:34.579
That's true.
961
00:39:34.599 --> 00:39:35.360
They're alive.
962
00:39:35.380 --> 00:39:36.400
So you'd be more likely.
963
00:39:36.420 --> 00:39:40.159
They can't be perceived by, they're outside our visual spectrum.
964
00:39:40.179 --> 00:39:42.610
Yeah, like light bends around them.
965
00:39:42.650 --> 00:39:43.090
Exactly.
966
00:39:43.110 --> 00:39:45.610
So it'd be like, yeah, so there's probably two possibilities.
967
00:39:45.710 --> 00:39:47.769
One is ghosts are real and the other is living
968
00:39:47.909 --> 00:39:51.789
invisible monkeys that light bends around are real. And I
969
00:39:51.809 --> 00:39:53.360
would be like, oh, now I don't know which thing
970
00:39:53.380 --> 00:39:54.320
to believe. Right.
971
00:39:54.639 --> 00:39:56.679
Well, there's no way I'd be a monkey because a
972
00:39:56.719 --> 00:39:58.000
monkey wouldn't share their juice.
973
00:39:59.449 --> 00:40:01.849
Oh, here's the thing about what you don't know about
974
00:40:01.869 --> 00:40:05.579
invisible monkeys, obviously, is that that's kind of their thing.
975
00:40:05.659 --> 00:40:06.260
They share juice.
976
00:40:06.300 --> 00:40:08.559
Well, I sort of noticed no such thing as invisible monkeys,
977
00:40:08.599 --> 00:40:09.679
so we don't have to talk about it.
978
00:40:10.059 --> 00:40:12.559
It's an interesting, fanciful sort of notion. Some would say
979
00:40:12.599 --> 00:40:13.679
there's no such thing as ghosts.
980
00:40:13.719 --> 00:40:15.010
Well, there is because I've seen them.
981
00:40:15.070 --> 00:40:17.929
You've seen them. Okay. And you've seen Mrs. What's her name?
982
00:40:17.969 --> 00:40:19.809
Patty Greenlee. And you've seen her.
983
00:40:20.349 --> 00:40:23.090
Well, no, because she's invisible. But I've seen the tray
984
00:40:23.130 --> 00:40:23.489
of juice.
985
00:40:24.239 --> 00:40:24.579
A floating.
986
00:40:24.619 --> 00:40:28.260
A floating tray of juice. That's right. And did you
987
00:40:28.340 --> 00:40:31.659
hear Miss Patty Greenlee as well? I did. So not see.
988
00:40:31.989 --> 00:40:36.010
What are the five senses? There's seeing, for sure.
989
00:40:36.050 --> 00:40:36.250
Yeah.
990
00:40:36.409 --> 00:40:37.030
There's hearing.
991
00:40:37.230 --> 00:40:37.510
Oh, yeah.
992
00:40:37.610 --> 00:40:40.489
I love that one. There's feeling, which is one I like,
993
00:40:40.530 --> 00:40:42.050
if you know what I mean. Yeah, because you're horny.
994
00:40:42.150 --> 00:40:42.599
Yeah, man.
995
00:40:43.110 --> 00:40:45.469
That's right, you love the sexual pleasure of touch. And
996
00:40:45.489 --> 00:40:47.449
then the other two we never really pay attention to.
997
00:40:47.469 --> 00:40:52.880
Who cares? Mostly those three. Seeing, hearing, and touching. The
998
00:40:52.900 --> 00:40:55.940
monkey stuff. Well, that's not real. Back to monkeys. No, no,
999
00:40:55.960 --> 00:40:58.050
I'm saying the monkey see, monkey hear, monkey do. Oh,
1000
00:40:58.059 --> 00:41:00.400
that's right. Oh, I guess do is. Doing is a sense.
1001
00:41:00.420 --> 00:41:00.940
Doing is a sense.
1002
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:03.360
So like touch, I think that's touch. And then there's
1003
00:41:03.400 --> 00:41:08.289
also taste. Can you taste a ghost? Have you tasted
1004
00:41:08.309 --> 00:41:08.570
a ghost?
1005
00:41:08.590 --> 00:41:10.630
I have not tasted a ghost. I think taste is
1006
00:41:10.650 --> 00:41:11.969
just touch. But I've smelled a ghost.
1007
00:41:12.170 --> 00:41:12.369
What?
1008
00:41:12.590 --> 00:41:13.489
Taste is just touch.
1009
00:41:13.889 --> 00:41:14.289
No.
1010
00:41:14.309 --> 00:41:14.929
With your tongue.
1011
00:41:15.510 --> 00:41:18.530
Well, taste is touch and taste.
1012
00:41:18.610 --> 00:41:19.349
But you know what I mean?
1013
00:41:19.369 --> 00:41:21.610
Well, you know how if you put your hand on
1014
00:41:21.650 --> 00:41:24.489
a lemon, you would only feel it. But if you
1015
00:41:24.530 --> 00:41:26.670
put your tongue on it, you would also be like, oh,
1016
00:41:26.730 --> 00:41:27.469
that's tart.
1017
00:41:27.489 --> 00:41:29.829
But you're also feeling it. Shouldn't it be a subset
1018
00:41:29.869 --> 00:41:34.289
of touch? You know, it's like 3B taste.
1019
00:41:34.550 --> 00:41:37.769
Well, I hate to be overly semantic, but in that case,
1020
00:41:37.829 --> 00:41:39.269
isn't sight also touch?
1021
00:41:40.170 --> 00:41:45.469
Huh? Sight, because it's light. A simultaneous huh on Comedy
1022
00:41:45.510 --> 00:41:49.909
Bang Bang. Double huh. What do you mean sight is
1023
00:41:49.929 --> 00:41:54.719
also touch? Because light is touching your eyes. Oh, yeah,
1024
00:41:54.739 --> 00:41:55.860
you're right. Okay, we need this.
1025
00:41:55.920 --> 00:42:00.280
So it's basically, so touch and then everything including smell
1026
00:42:00.360 --> 00:42:04.099
because it's vapors touching your nose. Sorry to get so mad.
1027
00:42:04.420 --> 00:42:07.469
Hearing is, I guess, sound waves touching you.
1028
00:42:07.489 --> 00:42:10.409
So it's just one sense. It's touch. And sometimes it
1029
00:42:10.449 --> 00:42:13.369
touches your smell and sometimes it touches your taste.
1030
00:42:13.530 --> 00:42:14.190
Your ears.
1031
00:42:14.230 --> 00:42:14.650
Yeah, exactly.
1032
00:42:14.769 --> 00:42:15.389
Or your wiener.
1033
00:42:15.690 --> 00:42:16.429
Yeah. Yeah.
1034
00:42:16.909 --> 00:42:17.630
Yeah, can ghosts.
1035
00:42:18.050 --> 00:42:18.789
Sure. Oh.
1036
00:42:19.150 --> 00:42:20.380
Have you ever had sex with a ghost?
1037
00:42:21.280 --> 00:42:24.679
I've been sexually aroused by a ghost. I hadn't touched one.
1038
00:42:25.050 --> 00:42:27.909
Okay. Because they're mostly untouchable. And what was it that
1039
00:42:27.949 --> 00:42:30.610
was so sexually arousing about this particular ghost? Well, you
1040
00:42:30.630 --> 00:42:32.989
know the scene in the first Ghostbusters when Dan Aykroyd
1041
00:42:33.010 --> 00:42:34.530
gets a blowjob? Gets the blowjob. But this is a
1042
00:42:34.590 --> 00:42:36.309
dream sequence, by the way. That's a dream.
1043
00:42:36.429 --> 00:42:36.610
Right.
1044
00:42:37.139 --> 00:42:39.800
In Ghostbusters. Sure. A lot of people, their memory of
1045
00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:44.909
it is that Dan Aykroyd legitimately got a real blowjob
1046
00:42:44.949 --> 00:42:45.530
from a ghost.
1047
00:42:45.570 --> 00:42:48.590
This is the most passionate I've seen in this whole episode.
1048
00:42:49.150 --> 00:42:52.210
You're ready to really get the continuity straight. But it
1049
00:42:52.250 --> 00:42:55.110
truly was a dream sequence of him.
1050
00:42:55.139 --> 00:42:57.739
So it's even less meaningful than we thought it. That
1051
00:42:57.800 --> 00:43:01.539
sequence was even less needed. So truly no change to
1052
00:43:01.579 --> 00:43:04.860
the story. But so this happened to you where a
1053
00:43:04.909 --> 00:43:09.110
ghost unbuckled your pants? No, but I was alone in
1054
00:43:09.170 --> 00:43:12.469
a castle north in Grumbledome and a ghost acted out
1055
00:43:12.510 --> 00:43:13.449
that scene for me.
1056
00:43:14.070 --> 00:43:16.670
Which part? Acted out the Dan Aykroyd part? No, just
1057
00:43:16.949 --> 00:43:20.050
the blowjob part. No, but what character was the ghost?
1058
00:43:20.090 --> 00:43:21.550
The ghost that I saw was... The ghost was doing
1059
00:43:21.610 --> 00:43:22.309
both characters?
1060
00:43:22.329 --> 00:43:22.409
Yes.
1061
00:43:22.510 --> 00:43:25.170
The ghost and Dan Aykroyd? Doing both, yeah. Sort of
1062
00:43:25.230 --> 00:43:27.349
switched around. Sorry, was it two ghosts? No, one ghost.
1063
00:43:27.769 --> 00:43:29.320
Oh, one ghost sort of folded on themselves.
1064
00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:31.820
He was like, watch this, watch this. I was like, okay, yeah,
1065
00:43:31.840 --> 00:43:34.019
show me. And he did. He goes, you know Ghostbusters?
1066
00:43:34.199 --> 00:43:36.219
I said, yeah. He said, oh, watch this. And he
1067
00:43:36.260 --> 00:43:39.039
did the, ooh, and then he laid down. And he switched.
1068
00:43:39.079 --> 00:43:41.219
He goes, okay, now I'm doing... He would let me know.
1069
00:43:41.239 --> 00:43:43.889
He'd be, now I'm Aykroyd. And he'd lay down. And
1070
00:43:44.409 --> 00:43:47.150
was the fact that he was a ghost so enticing?
1071
00:43:47.250 --> 00:43:50.429
I'm just saying like if a dude were to come
1072
00:43:50.469 --> 00:43:53.179
up and go, can I act out this scene from Ghostbusters?
1073
00:43:53.500 --> 00:43:55.460
I don't think I would get sexually aroused necessarily.
1074
00:43:55.480 --> 00:43:57.500
You don't know that, though, because this guy, I don't
1075
00:43:57.539 --> 00:43:58.599
think it was because he was a ghost.
1076
00:43:58.619 --> 00:44:03.119
Well, you try it. Sure. All right. I'll tell you
1077
00:44:03.139 --> 00:44:05.440
if there's any. I'm not an actor, but I'll do it. OK.
1078
00:44:05.559 --> 00:44:05.780
OK.
1079
00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:07.760
How are you, by the way? I'm doing good. I'm good.
1080
00:44:08.050 --> 00:44:08.409
Thank you.
1081
00:44:08.590 --> 00:44:11.010
Oh, I loved hearing your story. Thank you. Do you
1082
00:44:11.030 --> 00:44:14.230
guys want to do both parts, or do you want
1083
00:44:14.309 --> 00:44:16.150
Eugene to be in on this? Sure.
1084
00:44:16.190 --> 00:44:18.230
Would you like to be the ghost giving fellatio or
1085
00:44:18.269 --> 00:44:19.730
Dan Aykroyd laying down in the cot?
1086
00:44:19.789 --> 00:44:21.829
It's the $ 20, 000 pyramid question. Do you want to give
1087
00:44:21.889 --> 00:44:23.289
or receive? And by the way, you don't have to
1088
00:44:23.329 --> 00:44:23.670
do either.
1089
00:44:24.449 --> 00:44:26.670
I would do, you know what? Can I do a
1090
00:44:26.710 --> 00:44:27.230
little of each?
1091
00:44:28.670 --> 00:44:29.590
Okay, we'll eat Switch.
1092
00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:34.559
I'll call Switch in the middle of it.
1093
00:44:34.619 --> 00:44:37.309
I'll start doing both parts and then when you say Switch,
1094
00:44:37.349 --> 00:44:38.230
you take over both.
1095
00:44:38.250 --> 00:44:38.969
Okay, great.
1096
00:44:39.659 --> 00:44:41.530
How did you mean it? You're going to do both?
1097
00:44:41.869 --> 00:44:42.809
I don't know what you meant. And then when I
1098
00:44:42.809 --> 00:44:44.010
say switch, he's going to do both?
1099
00:44:44.110 --> 00:44:44.289
Oh, no.
1100
00:44:44.489 --> 00:44:46.269
I want one of you to play one and the
1101
00:44:46.309 --> 00:44:48.429
other play the other. And then when I say switch,
1102
00:44:48.469 --> 00:44:53.389
you switch parts, you fucking lunatic. Sorry, I thought I
1103
00:44:53.429 --> 00:44:55.250
was doing both. Why would you think that? I'm not
1104
00:44:55.289 --> 00:44:56.949
an actor. That's the inside of a broken brain. Look,
1105
00:44:56.969 --> 00:44:59.110
you're the Hollywood game. Being an actor doesn't have anything
1106
00:44:59.150 --> 00:45:01.900
to do with it. Sure, well, I don't know. See,
1107
00:45:02.039 --> 00:45:04.659
I heard they were prickly. Okay, all right, go ahead.
1108
00:45:04.820 --> 00:45:07.519
And obviously, it's fine if we don't remember the scene
1109
00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:08.159
too clearly.
1110
00:45:08.260 --> 00:45:08.679
Sure, no.
1111
00:45:08.719 --> 00:45:11.219
Because I think we've described it enough that I think I'm.
1112
00:45:11.179 --> 00:45:13.579
Going to nail it. Okay, you're going to be the ghost,
1113
00:45:13.659 --> 00:45:15.059
and you're going to be Dan Aykroyd.
1114
00:45:15.099 --> 00:45:15.800
I'm Dan Aykroyd?
1115
00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:17.739
Do you want to get into the part somehow? You
1116
00:45:17.760 --> 00:45:18.320
should start.
1117
00:45:18.360 --> 00:45:19.440
Yeah, you need.
1118
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:19.800
To be Aykroyd.
1119
00:45:19.860 --> 00:45:20.920
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1120
00:45:21.599 --> 00:45:24.440
I'm Dan Aykroyd. Describe what you're wearing.
1121
00:45:24.639 --> 00:45:29.840
I'm wearing a scientist outfit. I'm wearing a ghost jumpsuit.
1122
00:45:31.099 --> 00:45:33.179
And a belt buckle. I definitely have a belt buckle.
1123
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:34.800
It definitely was a belt buckle. I don't think he
1124
00:45:34.820 --> 00:45:36.659
was wearing his full Ghostbusters thing. No, he must have
1125
00:45:36.699 --> 00:45:38.119
had pants on and a shirt.
1126
00:45:38.139 --> 00:45:38.820
Yeah, he must have had pants on.
1127
00:45:38.860 --> 00:45:42.250
He's just one of those guys sleeping in all his clothes.
1128
00:45:42.269 --> 00:45:42.909
With a belt on.
1129
00:45:43.150 --> 00:45:45.190
Exactly, because that's the most comfortable way to sleep.
1130
00:45:45.210 --> 00:45:47.469
And are these things that Dan Aykroyd is saying right now?
1131
00:45:47.849 --> 00:45:48.050
Yeah.
1132
00:45:48.090 --> 00:45:51.320
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Dan Aykroyd. I'm sleeping in my
1133
00:45:51.360 --> 00:45:53.559
pants and belt and shirt, and I'm falling asleep.
1134
00:45:53.579 --> 00:45:55.500
By the way, this is a dream, so it's not
1135
00:45:55.539 --> 00:45:56.460
like he's sleeping in them.
1136
00:45:57.289 --> 00:45:58.329
Oh, he's just lying in there.
1137
00:45:58.510 --> 00:46:00.869
Because he's having the dream where he's not dreaming. He's
1138
00:46:00.929 --> 00:46:02.210
lying down. Oh, I see.
1139
00:46:02.250 --> 00:46:04.369
He's lying down, but he's just, he's not sleeping in
1140
00:46:04.389 --> 00:46:05.030
the dream.
1141
00:46:05.409 --> 00:46:07.469
I think he wakes up and he's probably wearing like
1142
00:46:07.530 --> 00:46:08.449
pajamas or something.
1143
00:46:08.469 --> 00:46:08.710
Okay.
1144
00:46:09.010 --> 00:46:09.150
Great.
1145
00:46:09.170 --> 00:46:09.670
Although I don't remember.
1146
00:46:09.690 --> 00:46:10.829
I'm going to look this up. I don't think they
1147
00:46:10.849 --> 00:46:14.110
show him waking up. I don't know. How do we
1148
00:46:14.130 --> 00:46:14.909
know it's a dream?
1149
00:46:15.050 --> 00:46:16.150
Is this the end of the movie?
1150
00:46:16.230 --> 00:46:17.010
I don't know until today.
1151
00:46:17.030 --> 00:46:18.949
Or was it the Stay Puft Martial Men? Or does
1152
00:46:19.010 --> 00:46:20.659
it just end with like, oh, that was weird.
1153
00:46:21.139 --> 00:46:23.039
I'm going to look up. I honestly didn't know it
1154
00:46:23.059 --> 00:46:24.340
was a dream until right now.
1155
00:46:24.639 --> 00:46:24.800
Yeah.
1156
00:46:25.409 --> 00:46:25.670
Anyway.
1157
00:46:26.610 --> 00:46:30.469
Look, on YouTube, it's Ghostbusters Dream Ghost BJ scene. Okay,
1158
00:46:30.489 --> 00:46:32.320
all right. So that's enough for me.
1159
00:46:33.719 --> 00:46:36.519
This is answering some of my, I wonder how old
1160
00:46:36.539 --> 00:46:37.920
the child has to be to watch Ghostbusters.
1161
00:46:37.940 --> 00:46:39.260
Do you want me to skip ahead and see if
1162
00:46:39.300 --> 00:46:41.559
he wakes up? That'd be great. Okay, just so you
1163
00:46:41.579 --> 00:46:43.679
have all the information. I'd hate to end it wrong.
1164
00:46:44.019 --> 00:46:44.219
Yeah.
1165
00:46:44.639 --> 00:46:47.719
Okay, he's waking up. Oh, no, he is asleep, and
1166
00:46:47.739 --> 00:46:51.360
he's waking up, and he's wearing pants. He's probably knotted off,
1167
00:46:52.079 --> 00:46:52.780
taking a nap.
1168
00:46:52.840 --> 00:46:53.199
Okay, then.
1169
00:46:54.039 --> 00:46:54.900
I forgot how much music was.
1170
00:46:54.920 --> 00:46:56.260
Because he's tired from busting ghosts.
1171
00:46:56.679 --> 00:46:59.829
The ghost is... You see the ghost above, and then
1172
00:46:59.869 --> 00:47:05.730
it turns invisible, opens up his pants, and his eyes cross. Okay, right.
1173
00:47:06.050 --> 00:47:10.409
He falls back in bed, and he's receiving... Oh, and
1174
00:47:10.449 --> 00:47:12.989
then it just ends right there. They don't show him
1175
00:47:13.010 --> 00:47:15.130
waking up then. In this clip.
1176
00:47:15.150 --> 00:47:17.869
They have to. In this clip, they don't, but then
1177
00:47:17.889 --> 00:47:18.269
they might.
1178
00:47:18.329 --> 00:47:20.349
That was a 26 second. Let me watch. Let's see
1179
00:47:20.409 --> 00:47:22.269
if we can find another one. Let's see if we
1180
00:47:22.289 --> 00:47:23.309
can find a 34 second clip. I'd hate to do
1181
00:47:23.329 --> 00:47:28.449
it wrong. Now it's people talking about it? That's not interesting.
1182
00:47:28.699 --> 00:47:29.380
I don't think so.
1183
00:47:30.010 --> 00:47:31.320
All right.
1184
00:47:31.380 --> 00:47:32.019
I'm Dan Aykroyd.
1185
00:47:32.039 --> 00:47:32.639
I'm lying down.
1186
00:47:32.659 --> 00:47:35.500
I'm probably very tired from busting ghosts. I'm wearing pants,
1187
00:47:35.619 --> 00:47:37.300
a belt, and a shirt. Okay.
1188
00:47:38.579 --> 00:47:40.400
I think I have to wait for switch. Isn't that
1189
00:47:40.420 --> 00:47:41.139
what you said you would do?
1190
00:47:41.159 --> 00:47:43.400
God fucking damn it. That's what you said though, right? No,
1191
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:44.980
I said in the middle of the scene, I'm going
1192
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:47.920
to say switch. And then you switch parts. Oh, I
1193
00:47:47.960 --> 00:47:48.539
get it now.
1194
00:47:48.920 --> 00:47:50.159
Holy fucking shit.
1195
00:47:50.179 --> 00:47:54.800
You're exhausting. I apologize. I truly didn't. Just float. Just
1196
00:47:54.840 --> 00:47:55.460
float around.
1197
00:47:57.539 --> 00:47:59.480
Come on.
1198
00:47:59.639 --> 00:48:01.380
Look up here. I'm a ghost.
1199
00:48:01.579 --> 00:48:01.900
Switch.
1200
00:48:03.369 --> 00:48:09.840
I'm the blues brother.
1201
00:48:09.900 --> 00:48:15.539
I'm a cone head. I'm not unseen. You weren't crossing
1202
00:48:15.559 --> 00:48:17.320
your eyes. That's the one note I would give you. Oh,
1203
00:48:17.460 --> 00:48:20.280
I appreciate that. You appreciate my note that you weren't?
1204
00:48:20.300 --> 00:48:20.500
I do.
1205
00:48:20.519 --> 00:48:23.400
Yeah, next time I do it. All right. Well, that
1206
00:48:23.420 --> 00:48:26.139
was good. Thank you. Are you glad I yelled switch
1207
00:48:26.400 --> 00:48:29.659
right before the blowjob sounds you had to make? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1208
00:48:29.699 --> 00:48:30.300
No, it was perfect.
1209
00:48:31.099 --> 00:48:32.860
So how was that? Was that a rap sing to
1210
00:48:32.920 --> 00:48:36.340
anybody here? Oh, that's right. That's why we're doing this.
1211
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:37.639
Yeah.
1212
00:48:37.659 --> 00:48:40.349
Because honestly, we did it much better than the ghost.
1213
00:48:40.250 --> 00:48:43.789
Did it for me.
1214
00:48:44.750 --> 00:48:47.289
I feel like we added a.
1215
00:48:47.429 --> 00:48:47.949
I don't know.
1216
00:48:48.030 --> 00:48:51.860
A level of vermissimilitude. Thank you, versimilitude.
1217
00:48:51.880 --> 00:48:52.860
That's a tough one.
1218
00:48:53.000 --> 00:48:54.920
I can only imagine how many people are going to
1219
00:48:55.079 --> 00:48:57.599
listen to that part over and over in private.
1220
00:48:58.260 --> 00:49:02.099
That'd be a shame. Now, was it arousing? Be honest.
1221
00:49:02.119 --> 00:49:03.780
Don't lie. I'm going to be honest. I was more
1222
00:49:03.820 --> 00:49:07.340
upset with you for not getting the whole concept of
1223
00:49:07.360 --> 00:49:08.630
the switch right. I feel bad because I.
1224
00:49:08.610 --> 00:49:10.389
Think if you weren't so mad at me, it would
1225
00:49:10.409 --> 00:49:11.030
be arousing.
1226
00:49:11.250 --> 00:49:11.449
Yeah.
1227
00:49:11.489 --> 00:49:13.929
We'll never know. All right. It's too bad. I was
1228
00:49:13.969 --> 00:49:14.769
too in the character.
1229
00:49:15.369 --> 00:49:17.500
And so when I was Ackroyd, I did get aroused.
1230
00:49:17.800 --> 00:49:18.159
Okay.
1231
00:49:18.219 --> 00:49:19.119
Yes.
1232
00:49:19.260 --> 00:49:20.889
So you were aroused when you were just doing it?
1233
00:49:20.960 --> 00:49:24.119
Just now. When you were Ackroyd, yeah. Only as Ackroyd. Okay.
1234
00:49:24.219 --> 00:49:26.019
Does that make sense? When you were watching this ghost
1235
00:49:26.139 --> 00:49:28.510
reenact both parts. Right away, he got me. It just
1236
00:49:28.550 --> 00:49:31.849
got you. Well, he was so in it. Yeah. Why
1237
00:49:31.889 --> 00:49:35.210
was he reenacting this for you? I asked him. He
1238
00:49:35.250 --> 00:49:36.510
was like- It was by request.
1239
00:49:36.690 --> 00:49:38.190
Yes, he was like, do you want to know anything
1240
00:49:38.210 --> 00:49:41.630
from beyond- Do you wish to know secrets from your
1241
00:49:41.949 --> 00:49:45.389
dead ma? And I said, hey, have you seen Ghostbusters?
1242
00:49:45.909 --> 00:49:48.969
And he had? He loved it. So he was born
1243
00:49:48.989 --> 00:49:54.590
or he died after 1984. That's right. As a ghost,
1244
00:49:54.630 --> 00:49:57.750
he saw the movie. Oh, he saw it as a ghost. Oh, okay.
1245
00:49:57.789 --> 00:49:58.010
Oh, yeah.
1246
00:49:58.050 --> 00:50:01.860
He died before. Jesus fucking Christ. Get your story straight.
1247
00:50:01.940 --> 00:50:05.019
I'm really sorry. I get why you're so frustrated. So
1248
00:50:05.059 --> 00:50:08.199
he's a ghost and he's watching Ghostbusters over someone's shoulder
1249
00:50:08.300 --> 00:50:10.690
as they're watching it. What other movies does he like?
1250
00:50:10.969 --> 00:50:13.190
He only likes ghost movies, but there are many.
1251
00:50:13.630 --> 00:50:13.829
Yeah.
1252
00:50:13.869 --> 00:50:16.780
There's Ghost. Ghost, of course, is a great one. Ghostbusters 2.
1253
00:50:16.780 --> 00:50:17.050
Yes.
1254
00:50:17.320 --> 00:50:20.059
Sixth Sense. Sixth Sense. Sixth Sense is a ghost movie, yeah.
1255
00:50:20.079 --> 00:50:22.179
Did he have an opinion on Ghostbusters 2 about how
1256
00:50:22.239 --> 00:50:24.559
they have the patches on their uniforms with the ghost
1257
00:50:24.599 --> 00:50:26.219
holding up a 2? That's right. Like they know they're
1258
00:50:26.239 --> 00:50:26.820
in a sequel?
1259
00:50:26.840 --> 00:50:29.340
Yeah, he did. He was very upset. He would have
1260
00:50:29.360 --> 00:50:31.969
loved you because he was really upset at the continuity.
1261
00:50:31.989 --> 00:50:33.849
He would have loved me? Why can't he love me now?
1262
00:50:33.869 --> 00:50:36.469
He's a ghost, right? Is he still a ghost? Oh, what? No,
1263
00:50:36.570 --> 00:50:37.369
I destroyed him.
1264
00:50:38.130 --> 00:50:38.250
Oh.
1265
00:50:38.309 --> 00:50:39.349
This particular ghost.
1266
00:50:39.510 --> 00:50:39.849
Why?
1267
00:50:39.909 --> 00:50:40.449
What does that mean?
1268
00:50:40.550 --> 00:50:44.159
Well, you can, so a ghost is a spirit who
1269
00:50:44.179 --> 00:50:45.739
hasn't moved on to the beyond.
1270
00:50:46.039 --> 00:50:46.260
Yes.
1271
00:50:46.280 --> 00:50:46.679
Okay.
1272
00:50:46.719 --> 00:50:49.670
If you sort of either helped them or sometimes banish them,
1273
00:50:49.710 --> 00:50:52.550
they move on. And in a way, their ghost existence
1274
00:50:52.610 --> 00:50:53.010
is over.
1275
00:50:53.210 --> 00:50:56.869
So you, why the verbiage destroyed him? You banished him?
1276
00:50:56.949 --> 00:50:57.989
I banished him, yeah.
1277
00:50:58.110 --> 00:50:59.860
He was an evil spirit, so to help him move
1278
00:50:59.909 --> 00:51:01.260
on meant he went down to hell. Why do you
1279
00:51:01.300 --> 00:51:03.579
think he was evil? Because he didn't, I mean, he
1280
00:51:03.599 --> 00:51:06.900
got you aroused. He didn't do it good enough for you? No,
1281
00:51:06.960 --> 00:51:09.940
that part was great. He then sort of belittled me,
1282
00:51:10.360 --> 00:51:11.539
and he goes, a real bully.
1283
00:51:12.360 --> 00:51:15.139
Okay. Why, what were you doing to make him act
1284
00:51:15.159 --> 00:51:15.460
like that?
1285
00:51:15.699 --> 00:51:17.420
I was sort of telling him he was a piece
1286
00:51:17.460 --> 00:51:20.530
of shit. And he got mad at me about it.
1287
00:51:20.530 --> 00:51:22.150
And he sort of said, well, you got a small dick.
1288
00:51:22.230 --> 00:51:25.949
Why were you telling him? Okay. Number one. Why were
1289
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:27.460
you telling him that he was a piece of shit?
1290
00:51:28.079 --> 00:51:30.119
He's done this thing for you. He's acted out this scene.
1291
00:51:30.239 --> 00:51:34.219
Well, he started criticizing Ghostbusters. He started with the two
1292
00:51:34.719 --> 00:51:36.139
patch thing. And then he was sort of like the
1293
00:51:36.199 --> 00:51:39.750
first one really is uneven. And it jumps around. It goes,
1294
00:51:39.789 --> 00:51:42.349
the pace is all wrong. If you're not already worshiping
1295
00:51:42.389 --> 00:51:43.809
Bill Murray, it's not a good movie.
1296
00:51:43.849 --> 00:51:44.130
Okay.
1297
00:51:44.190 --> 00:51:45.750
So then you say you're a piece of shit. You're
1298
00:51:45.769 --> 00:51:48.039
a piece of shit. You shouldn't be criticizing. You know,
1299
00:51:48.059 --> 00:51:49.980
it's so hard to make a movie. And then he
1300
00:51:50.019 --> 00:51:51.840
says you have a small dick. That's right. Has he
1301
00:51:51.860 --> 00:51:53.960
seen it because you are aroused at this point and
1302
00:51:53.980 --> 00:51:59.179
you've taken it out? I took it out. And you
1303
00:51:59.199 --> 00:52:01.690
were manipulating it or what exactly were you?
1304
00:52:01.699 --> 00:52:02.050
Not at all.
1305
00:52:02.760 --> 00:52:04.110
So you just took it out and it was.
1306
00:52:04.130 --> 00:52:06.630
I said, the performance is so good, you got me
1307
00:52:06.690 --> 00:52:07.210
turned on.
1308
00:52:07.250 --> 00:52:09.750
He said, no way. I said, take a look. You
1309
00:52:09.789 --> 00:52:11.909
took it out to show him. That's right. He sees
1310
00:52:11.989 --> 00:52:14.409
that you have... And this is you admitting. That's right.
1311
00:52:14.429 --> 00:52:15.650
And I was like, and this is because you're such
1312
00:52:15.670 --> 00:52:18.190
a good actor. I said, you could have been in Ghostbusters.
1313
00:52:18.210 --> 00:52:20.789
He said, who cares? The movie sucks. That's not what
1314
00:52:20.829 --> 00:52:22.489
I was saying you were admitting. I'm saying you're admitting
1315
00:52:22.510 --> 00:52:24.179
that you have a small penis. That's right.
1316
00:52:24.260 --> 00:52:24.519
Oh, no.
1317
00:52:24.559 --> 00:52:24.760
Yes.
1318
00:52:25.019 --> 00:52:29.340
Okay. I absolutely do. How small? Well, you know, subjective,
1319
00:52:29.360 --> 00:52:33.219
of course. You want inches. Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying
1320
00:52:33.260 --> 00:52:35.170
what's the general feeling of how small it is.
1321
00:52:35.409 --> 00:52:35.550
Oh.
1322
00:52:35.869 --> 00:52:38.489
Yeah, I mean, from, you know— I don't know the
1323
00:52:38.550 --> 00:52:42.030
conversion from metric to— I think it's about three.
1324
00:52:42.969 --> 00:52:45.769
Three— Three inches. Oh, okay, okay.
1325
00:52:45.789 --> 00:52:45.889
Yeah.
1326
00:52:45.909 --> 00:52:48.969
I mean, that's, you know— Fully engorged. It's respectable. How
1327
00:52:48.989 --> 00:52:49.889
about when it's flaccid?
1328
00:52:50.179 --> 00:52:50.389
Half.
1329
00:52:50.409 --> 00:52:55.380
Four inches. Four inches. Wouldn't that be something? Wouldn't that
1330
00:52:55.420 --> 00:52:56.420
be something?
1331
00:52:56.440 --> 00:52:58.610
The man with the magic shrinking penis!
1332
00:53:01.230 --> 00:53:04.349
Well, this, I mean, look, this is an incredible story. Now,
1333
00:53:04.369 --> 00:53:07.409
I know you wanted to say something about the tours
1334
00:53:07.449 --> 00:53:08.949
that you get. Well, just that's what I do, you know.
1335
00:53:08.989 --> 00:53:09.960
So I'm here to promote them.
1336
00:53:10.219 --> 00:53:10.480
Okay.
1337
00:53:10.579 --> 00:53:12.079
So if you're on the island of Grumbledome, come and
1338
00:53:12.099 --> 00:53:14.039
look me up. I'll give you a tour. And is
1339
00:53:14.059 --> 00:53:16.260
there any other kind of reason a tourist would go
1340
00:53:16.280 --> 00:53:21.300
to Grumbledome? The hills, it's beautiful. There's hills everywhere, though.
1341
00:53:21.659 --> 00:53:24.070
Okay, well, it's a beautiful, you know, people go to
1342
00:53:24.150 --> 00:53:26.769
Ireland to see the majesty of nature, you know, and
1343
00:53:26.789 --> 00:53:27.510
it's a lovely place.
1344
00:53:27.650 --> 00:53:30.480
It's a lovely island. You'd love it, Scott. What about leprechauns?
1345
00:53:30.500 --> 00:53:32.789
You ever see one of those? Sure, many times. Okay,
1346
00:53:32.829 --> 00:53:36.630
that's separate. Okay, all right. You brought it up. I
1347
00:53:36.670 --> 00:53:38.530
know I brought it up. It's very cold. Everyone in
1348
00:53:38.590 --> 00:53:41.000
Ireland has seen leprechauns. Have you ever gotten to the
1349
00:53:41.039 --> 00:53:42.760
end of the rainbow and got a pot of gold
1350
00:53:42.800 --> 00:53:44.280
and all that? Well, I've seen it. I haven't got
1351
00:53:44.320 --> 00:53:47.239
my own. It's rude. It belongs to them. Yeah, yeah.
1352
00:53:47.360 --> 00:53:49.059
You're not supposed to take it. I thought that if
1353
00:53:49.909 --> 00:53:52.389
you got to the end of the rainbow... You earned it. Yeah,
1354
00:53:52.409 --> 00:53:54.190
you earned it. That's what I thought. But they were
1355
00:53:54.210 --> 00:53:55.409
just like... That's the first.
1356
00:53:55.489 --> 00:53:57.989
It's like a taskmaster. It's all these things... You got
1357
00:53:58.010 --> 00:53:59.070
to do after you get there.
1358
00:53:59.090 --> 00:54:00.610
I guess it's sort of like breaking into someone's house
1359
00:54:00.630 --> 00:54:02.980
going like, I earned it. Let me have all your stuff.
1360
00:54:03.199 --> 00:54:03.760
Exactly.
1361
00:54:03.800 --> 00:54:04.019
Yeah.
1362
00:54:04.059 --> 00:54:05.659
So they're sort of like, well, no, it's still ours.
1363
00:54:05.739 --> 00:54:09.099
Are there ghosts of leprechauns? Yes, there are. Yeah, of course.
1364
00:54:09.539 --> 00:54:09.780
Wow.
1365
00:54:11.119 --> 00:54:11.739
Well, that's that.
1366
00:54:12.119 --> 00:54:12.380
Yeah.
1367
00:54:12.559 --> 00:54:14.739
That's cool. Can you think, I mean, there must be
1368
00:54:14.780 --> 00:54:17.070
ghosts of everything, like a vampire. Anything living.
1369
00:54:17.369 --> 00:54:17.570
Yeah.
1370
00:54:17.809 --> 00:54:18.070
Yeah.
1371
00:54:18.429 --> 00:54:20.480
Oh, ghost cat. A ghost cat, yeah. To be a
1372
00:54:20.500 --> 00:54:20.880
ghost cat, yeah.
1373
00:54:20.900 --> 00:54:21.179
Ghost vampire.
1374
00:54:21.199 --> 00:54:23.420
Yeah, do animals have to be ghosts? Like cockroaches? Oh yeah,
1375
00:54:23.440 --> 00:54:26.059
every animal's a ghost. Flies? Yep. Mosquitoes?
1376
00:54:26.340 --> 00:54:31.250
Sure, but most of them move on. They move on
1377
00:54:31.289 --> 00:54:35.150
to what, mosquito heaven? Sure, yeah.
1378
00:54:35.289 --> 00:54:38.389
Is heaven segregated by species? Segregated by species, that's right.
1379
00:54:38.550 --> 00:54:41.139
So there's a lot of... A lot of heavens.
1380
00:54:41.239 --> 00:54:43.599
So I bet there's a man heaven and a woman heaven.
1381
00:54:44.159 --> 00:54:46.739
You know what I mean? I bet. I bet there is.
1382
00:54:47.360 --> 00:54:49.699
I bet there is. There's certainly like a... It seems
1383
00:54:49.719 --> 00:54:51.530
like you would know because you talk to ghosts. Well,
1384
00:54:51.550 --> 00:54:53.170
I only see when they're here, you know, we don't know.
1385
00:54:53.309 --> 00:54:55.070
Even they don't know. They don't know because they haven't
1386
00:54:55.090 --> 00:54:55.630
moved on yet.
1387
00:54:55.650 --> 00:54:55.989
That's great.
1388
00:54:56.010 --> 00:54:59.489
Then why was this one ghost who reenacted this pivotal
1389
00:54:59.530 --> 00:55:02.650
scene from Ghostbusters saying that he could relay information to
1390
00:55:02.690 --> 00:55:03.409
you from beyond?
1391
00:55:03.670 --> 00:55:06.840
He talked to other ghosts of relatives of mine who
1392
00:55:06.880 --> 00:55:07.530
hadn't moved on.
1393
00:55:08.320 --> 00:55:11.539
I see. I understand. So my mother, for example, died
1394
00:55:11.559 --> 00:55:13.360
when I was just a young boy. How young?
1395
00:55:13.360 --> 00:55:14.039
32.
1396
00:55:14.039 --> 00:55:18.070
I thought you were about to say 13.
1397
00:55:18.070 --> 00:55:18.360
32.
1398
00:55:18.360 --> 00:55:22.159
I mean, 32, you're old enough. It's a tragedy. Don't
1399
00:55:22.179 --> 00:55:23.079
get me wrong. Of course.
1400
00:55:23.139 --> 00:55:23.360
Yes.
1401
00:55:23.480 --> 00:55:25.059
You're old enough to be able to process it. She
1402
00:55:25.079 --> 00:55:27.739
wasn't great. To be honest. Okay, really. But sure, still,
1403
00:55:27.780 --> 00:55:29.380
she shouldn't have. Why was she not great? Would she
1404
00:55:29.440 --> 00:55:32.599
criticize Ghostbusters? Yes, that's right. She would sort of be like,
1405
00:55:32.619 --> 00:55:34.019
you're a know-it-all, you know, and I'd be like, you
1406
00:55:34.059 --> 00:55:34.420
know what?
1407
00:55:34.760 --> 00:55:35.599
I think you're not great.
1408
00:55:35.860 --> 00:55:37.699
Yeah, you're a piece of shit. Would she say you
1409
00:55:37.719 --> 00:55:39.159
have a small penis? She did.
1410
00:55:39.380 --> 00:55:39.599
Yeah.
1411
00:55:39.679 --> 00:55:41.980
Which I feel was her purview, you know, as my mother.
1412
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:43.719
She's the one who created it. That's right. Some could
1413
00:55:43.760 --> 00:55:46.949
say it's her fault. That's right. You know, you're... Thanks
1414
00:55:46.989 --> 00:55:49.289
a lot. You think there are exercises that a mother
1415
00:55:49.389 --> 00:55:53.230
could do to make a child's penis bigger? I imagine, yes.
1416
00:55:53.449 --> 00:55:56.070
You know, like just stretch it out every morning? Maybe
1417
00:55:56.090 --> 00:55:56.949
even just sort it out.
1418
00:55:58.809 --> 00:55:59.050
Yeah.
1419
00:55:59.989 --> 00:56:01.590
Could be. I mean, I couldn't hurt.
1420
00:56:01.710 --> 00:56:01.949
Right.
1421
00:56:02.469 --> 00:56:04.949
It's interesting to think of how many people in the
1422
00:56:04.989 --> 00:56:07.369
world there are and how we would never have an
1423
00:56:07.409 --> 00:56:09.469
answer to this question because of.
1424
00:56:09.969 --> 00:56:12.469
I take what enough ultrasounds and sort of kegels you
1425
00:56:12.489 --> 00:56:15.159
could maneuver the fetus within you to sort of stretch.
1426
00:56:15.480 --> 00:56:15.920
Yeah.
1427
00:56:15.980 --> 00:56:18.719
Stretch out before the birth. Yeah. That's interesting. Like like
1428
00:56:18.860 --> 00:56:20.940
there must be some sort of like spirit gum or something.
1429
00:56:20.980 --> 00:56:22.900
You could stick it to one side of the uterus
1430
00:56:22.940 --> 00:56:24.599
and then like gum. You know what I mean?
1431
00:56:25.119 --> 00:56:26.179
Isn't that oddly named?
1432
00:56:26.300 --> 00:56:28.619
Isn't that funny? Spirit gum. And you're a guy who's
1433
00:56:28.639 --> 00:56:30.340
a ghost expert. It's got nothing to do with ghosts.
1434
00:56:30.360 --> 00:56:33.449
Spirit gum. Although, you know, would I mind seeing a
1435
00:56:33.469 --> 00:56:36.030
ghost with a big beard attached to his face? It'd
1436
00:56:36.050 --> 00:56:36.710
be hilarious.
1437
00:56:36.769 --> 00:56:36.989
Yeah.
1438
00:56:37.389 --> 00:56:39.190
Ghosts are very funny. Yeah?
1439
00:56:39.489 --> 00:56:39.590
Sure.
1440
00:56:39.610 --> 00:56:41.409
What's the funniest thing that you've ever seen a ghost do?
1441
00:56:41.489 --> 00:56:43.250
You want me just to immediately come up with the
1442
00:56:43.329 --> 00:56:44.329
number one? Come up with?
1443
00:56:44.429 --> 00:56:45.090
What do you mean?
1444
00:56:45.139 --> 00:56:48.679
I mean, you had to have ranked this probably. Of course. No,
1445
00:56:48.679 --> 00:56:49.719
in your life. Yes.
1446
00:56:50.739 --> 00:56:51.800
Easy for me to tell you.
1447
00:56:51.820 --> 00:56:52.179
Yeah.
1448
00:56:52.239 --> 00:56:54.199
The funniest thing I ever saw a ghost do.
1449
00:56:54.480 --> 00:56:54.699
Mm-hmm.
1450
00:56:55.110 --> 00:56:58.539
The Mary Tyler Moore funeral scene with the clown. The
1451
00:56:58.599 --> 00:56:59.420
reenactment of this?
1452
00:56:59.440 --> 00:57:00.070
Yeah, they did it.
1453
00:57:00.079 --> 00:57:03.219
These guys are huge pop culture fans. And I'd never
1454
00:57:03.300 --> 00:57:05.480
seen the episode. But when I saw them do it.
1455
00:57:05.480 --> 00:57:07.900
I've seen that part, though, on clips. Is that right?
1456
00:57:08.059 --> 00:57:09.699
You get the gist. That's all I've seen is the
1457
00:57:09.760 --> 00:57:11.570
ghost doing it. You know what we're talking about, Eugene.
1458
00:57:11.610 --> 00:57:16.110
The Mary Tyler Moore clown funeral. She just starts laughing
1459
00:57:16.269 --> 00:57:18.929
at it. That's right. They can't get through the funeral
1460
00:57:18.949 --> 00:57:21.250
without laughing at how ridiculous it is. And then when they.
1461
00:57:21.880 --> 00:57:26.079
The preacher or whoever is running this says- Whoever. Finally
1462
00:57:26.119 --> 00:57:27.980
says like, okay, let it out. Go ahead and laugh.
1463
00:57:28.000 --> 00:57:29.969
Then she bursts into tears because it's so sad.
1464
00:57:30.159 --> 00:57:31.429
Isn't that funny?
1465
00:57:31.630 --> 00:57:33.650
Doesn't comedy play on expectations? Yeah.
1466
00:57:34.010 --> 00:57:35.929
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It sounds very funny.
1467
00:57:35.949 --> 00:57:38.210
That was the funniest thing I saw one do. Oh,
1468
00:57:38.349 --> 00:57:41.750
and I saw a really funny, even better. I was
1469
00:57:41.829 --> 00:57:44.179
mid-fart and a ghost emerged.
1470
00:57:44.480 --> 00:57:48.420
What do you mean you're mid-fart? How long are your farts?
1471
00:57:48.500 --> 00:57:49.400
This was a long one.
1472
00:57:49.519 --> 00:57:53.199
Every fart has a mid. It's, it's, you know, I know,
1473
00:57:53.320 --> 00:57:56.179
but I mean, the fact that 0.5 seconds or two seconds,
1474
00:57:56.300 --> 00:57:56.679
the fact.
1475
00:57:56.559 --> 00:57:58.949
That something is able to occur in the middle of
1476
00:57:59.050 --> 00:58:00.849
one of your farts. Well, I was holding it for
1477
00:58:00.889 --> 00:58:03.050
a while. So I was, I don't care. Well, that's
1478
00:58:03.170 --> 00:58:05.309
meant I was very conscious of when it started.
1479
00:58:05.369 --> 00:58:05.929
I'm interested.
1480
00:58:05.949 --> 00:58:08.309
I was, I was on a tour and I was
1481
00:58:08.389 --> 00:58:10.710
holding in a big fart and I said, Oh, I
1482
00:58:10.750 --> 00:58:12.110
just get to the end, you know, and then fart
1483
00:58:12.150 --> 00:58:14.690
in private. I was like, Oh, I can't, I can't anymore.
1484
00:58:15.320 --> 00:58:18.300
Maybe to be quiet, you know, hope maybe won't be
1485
00:58:18.360 --> 00:58:19.920
so much. And I sort of like, I'll just try
1486
00:58:19.940 --> 00:58:23.340
to quick. pushed through it and i started the fart
1487
00:58:23.380 --> 00:58:26.300
and it was tremendous so at least 10 seconds long
1488
00:58:26.420 --> 00:58:30.079
wow just a fluttery sort of ting and mid mid
1489
00:58:30.320 --> 00:58:32.219
fart a ghost showed up and said i'll have what
1490
00:58:32.239 --> 00:58:35.960
he's having i thought that was so funny.
1491
00:58:36.159 --> 00:58:36.780
I mean.
1492
00:58:38.159 --> 00:58:40.480
It's not a bad thing to say after it's so
1493
00:58:40.500 --> 00:58:42.539
funny you're a ghost or not it was great it's
1494
00:58:42.559 --> 00:58:45.239
pretty funny and then he left then he left okay
1495
00:58:45.260 --> 00:58:48.010
never so it's a shame But anyway. But they must
1496
00:58:48.030 --> 00:58:49.750
have gotten a thrill on that tour to see something
1497
00:58:49.789 --> 00:58:51.150
like that. They loved it. It's like a whale watch.
1498
00:58:51.190 --> 00:58:52.909
You go on and you hope to see a ghost.
1499
00:58:52.929 --> 00:58:54.909
You just hope to, yeah. But you don't know. You
1500
00:58:54.949 --> 00:58:56.469
never know. But they did. They saw one make fun
1501
00:58:56.510 --> 00:58:57.070
of me farting.
1502
00:58:57.090 --> 00:58:57.409
Boy, did he.
1503
00:58:57.429 --> 00:59:02.449
Incredible. Well, Devin Green. Green Glove. Green Glove? What? I'm
1504
00:59:02.489 --> 00:59:03.889
so sorry. It's Devin Green Glove.
1505
00:59:04.230 --> 00:59:04.349
Oh.
1506
00:59:04.969 --> 00:59:09.630
I said it wrong. Green Glove. Your name is Devin
1507
00:59:09.650 --> 00:59:09.949
Green Glove.
1508
00:59:10.019 --> 00:59:10.260
Glove.
1509
00:59:10.539 --> 00:59:12.420
My name is Devin Green Glove. Weird way to go
1510
00:59:12.599 --> 00:59:15.340
out on this interview is to be correcting me about
1511
00:59:15.380 --> 00:59:17.110
the name that you gave me. I wasn't listening. Yes,
1512
00:59:17.139 --> 00:59:18.409
that's my fault. I'm sorry.
1513
00:59:18.690 --> 00:59:18.989
All right.
1514
00:59:19.130 --> 00:59:21.349
Devin Green Glove. Wonderful to have you here. Can you
1515
00:59:21.369 --> 00:59:24.610
stick around? Sure. Does that upset you? Does it upset me?
1516
00:59:24.730 --> 00:59:24.829
Yes.
1517
00:59:26.929 --> 00:59:28.690
I'm not upset about anything. That's not true. I don't
1518
00:59:28.710 --> 00:59:30.469
give a shit whether you live or die. Okay, now
1519
00:59:30.530 --> 00:59:33.719
hold on. You're not like my friend Eugene. I just
1520
00:59:33.780 --> 00:59:37.119
met you. Sure, okay, I get that. Eugene, you know,
1521
00:59:37.159 --> 00:59:39.360
we were talking about your situation. Yeah, we have a relationship.
1522
00:59:39.619 --> 00:59:41.840
Your peers. I don't give one shit about two fucks
1523
00:59:41.880 --> 00:59:43.780
about you. Okay, I get that. That makes sense. Well,
1524
00:59:43.800 --> 00:59:45.079
I'm glad I haven't upset you.
1525
00:59:45.280 --> 00:59:45.760
Okay, good.
1526
00:59:45.900 --> 00:59:47.619
But it's Devin Greenglove and it's my fault you got.
1527
00:59:47.679 --> 00:59:49.969
I'm so sorry. All right, well, I'm glad we cleared
1528
00:59:50.010 --> 00:59:53.210
that up right on the dismount. Devin Greenglove, it's wonderful
1529
00:59:53.230 --> 00:59:55.010
to have you on. Can you stick around? Sure, I
1530
00:59:55.030 --> 00:59:56.570
got nothing to do. We have a bird coming up.
1531
00:59:56.909 --> 01:00:00.449
Is that something? Yep. We're going to be right back
1532
01:00:00.510 --> 01:00:03.690
with more Eugene Merman, more Devin Green glove. We'll be
1533
01:00:03.730 --> 01:00:05.849
right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.
1534
01:00:08.380 --> 01:00:11.099
The Chemist's Warehouse Fall Frenzy Mega Sale is now live.
1535
01:00:11.260 --> 01:00:13.519
Find up to half price off RRP on big brands
1536
01:00:13.659 --> 01:00:16.760
like John Frieda, Batiste and Aussie Hair Care or Solgar,
1537
01:00:16.780 --> 01:00:19.110
Meet Today and Chewy Bites Vitamins. And find up to
1538
01:00:19.139 --> 01:00:23.269
half price off RRP on Emco Beauty, W7 and Rimmel Cosmetics.
1539
01:00:23.409 --> 01:00:26.530
But hurry, sale must end September 20. Chemist's Warehouse, great
1540
01:00:26.590 --> 01:00:27.710
savings every day.
1541
01:00:29.570 --> 01:00:33.409
Treacherous ring roads lie ahead on our mission to reach Nannas.
1542
01:00:33.800 --> 01:00:34.179
We must.
1543
01:00:34.199 --> 01:00:36.840
Go to Mackey's for black pepper and garlic McNuggets.
1544
01:00:37.260 --> 01:00:38.460
Navigation rerouting.
1545
01:00:39.239 --> 01:00:42.039
The main mission can wait. Take a side mission to McDonald's.
1546
01:00:43.639 --> 01:00:46.360
Available until the 29th of September from 11am. Wastock's last
1547
01:00:46.380 --> 01:00:48.099
subject of availability participation varies.
1548
01:00:49.179 --> 01:00:52.230
It's not easy to get to Rathdal. But it's also
1549
01:00:52.269 --> 01:00:56.059
hard to get to the Oiler Hackeyacht. The service will
1550
01:00:56.079 --> 01:00:59.260
now be available to those who are interested in making
1551
01:00:59.280 --> 01:01:02.599
the most of their time at home. With the help
1552
01:01:02.639 --> 01:01:06.119
of two or three people in each house, it's easy
1553
01:01:06.139 --> 01:01:10.090
to get in touch with people from all over the world.
1554
01:01:10.889 --> 01:01:12.889
And don't be afraid if you don't know where you're going.
1555
01:01:12.909 --> 01:01:16.449
Go to www.nh.gov.ie to find out how you can help.
1556
01:01:16.469 --> 01:01:25.349
The most important thing. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Eugene
1557
01:01:25.369 --> 01:01:27.800
Merman is here. Here comes the whimsy. Is the special
1558
01:01:27.820 --> 01:01:29.690
available for one and all?
1559
01:01:36.989 --> 01:01:41.030
On YouTube.com. Is there a specific URL for it?
1560
01:01:42.139 --> 01:01:44.360
I'm sure there is, but I don't know the URL.
1561
01:01:44.480 --> 01:01:46.579
Does it have percentages in it?
1562
01:01:46.639 --> 01:01:48.820
If you go to Pretty Good Friends, which is our
1563
01:01:49.019 --> 01:01:50.260
record label, that's where.
1564
01:01:50.300 --> 01:01:52.159
Look, I didn't have any trouble. I just put in,
1565
01:01:52.199 --> 01:01:53.039
here comes the whimsy.
1566
01:01:53.079 --> 01:01:55.019
Yeah, there's probably not a ton of... It's not like, oh,
1567
01:01:55.079 --> 01:01:59.440
is it Eugene's or the Aerosmith album? Like, which one
1568
01:01:59.480 --> 01:02:01.280
of these two Massachusetts things?
1569
01:02:01.860 --> 01:02:03.250
Oh, that's right. They're from Boston.
1570
01:02:03.329 --> 01:02:04.590
Yeah. Yeah.
1571
01:02:04.769 --> 01:02:05.650
Me and them, and that's it.
1572
01:02:06.039 --> 01:02:08.820
Yep, no one else interesting. No one else. We also
1573
01:02:08.840 --> 01:02:11.619
have Devin Green Glove, who's here, a ghost expert.
1574
01:02:11.719 --> 01:02:11.900
Hello.
1575
01:02:12.039 --> 01:02:13.510
And are there any ghosts around here?
1576
01:02:13.530 --> 01:02:15.530
I don't see any right now, but I'll let you know.
1577
01:02:15.730 --> 01:02:18.510
All right, let us know. Okay. We need to get
1578
01:02:18.530 --> 01:02:22.719
to our next guest. This is a returning guest, been
1579
01:02:22.739 --> 01:02:26.119
on the show before. He is a seagull. Please welcome
1580
01:02:26.219 --> 01:02:27.019
Louie Pentano.
1581
01:02:27.420 --> 01:02:29.539
Oh, my God, Scott. Thank you so much for having
1582
01:02:29.579 --> 01:02:29.960
me back.
1583
01:02:30.179 --> 01:02:31.159
I am desperate.
1584
01:02:31.559 --> 01:02:31.889
Thank you.
1585
01:02:32.219 --> 01:02:34.250
Yes, it's so good to see you. You are, of course,
1586
01:02:34.309 --> 01:02:37.130
a seagull that we have talked to once before. A
1587
01:02:37.130 --> 01:02:40.489
couple times, I think. A couple of times. You inspired
1588
01:02:40.550 --> 01:02:44.360
the T-shirt that we've sold starring your likeness.
1589
01:02:44.920 --> 01:02:45.039
Yeah.
1590
01:02:45.139 --> 01:02:47.559
I guess a T-shirt, you're not starring in a T-shirt.
1591
01:02:47.599 --> 01:02:48.639
I mean, I'm on the T-shirt.
1592
01:02:49.019 --> 01:02:50.820
Yeah, and what does it say on it?
1593
01:02:50.860 --> 01:02:53.500
Something with french fries and choking on them or something.
1594
01:02:53.539 --> 01:02:53.860
I don't know.
1595
01:02:53.900 --> 01:02:55.409
It was my big break. It's like my neck, my back.
1596
01:02:55.739 --> 01:02:57.289
This is the way I like to snack. Is that
1597
01:02:57.329 --> 01:02:57.710
what it is?
1598
01:02:57.869 --> 01:02:59.230
Something like that, Scott.
1599
01:02:59.389 --> 01:03:02.429
A limited edition t-shirt, but you're back now.
1600
01:03:02.510 --> 01:03:02.769
Yes.
1601
01:03:02.849 --> 01:03:03.989
This is Eugene, by the way.
1602
01:03:04.070 --> 01:03:04.420
Hello.
1603
01:03:04.440 --> 01:03:05.119
Hello, Devin.
1604
01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:05.829
Nice to meet you.
1605
01:03:05.840 --> 01:03:06.159
How are you?
1606
01:03:06.679 --> 01:03:08.559
Oh no, this is going to be a tug of
1607
01:03:08.619 --> 01:03:11.460
war of accents. I can feel myself already being pulled.
1608
01:03:11.599 --> 01:03:12.860
You're slipping into this one?
1609
01:03:13.039 --> 01:03:15.420
Yeah, give me five minutes and I'm going to be- Well, mine.
1610
01:03:15.360 --> 01:03:16.980
Tends to go away and make room for yours.
1611
01:03:17.000 --> 01:03:20.460
It's okay. Okay, just say something Boston specific, like how
1612
01:03:20.480 --> 01:03:21.340
do you like them apples?
1613
01:03:21.980 --> 01:03:24.139
The law was very formal in that regard.
1614
01:03:24.159 --> 01:03:24.659
There you go.
1615
01:03:24.780 --> 01:03:26.019
All right, I'm locked back in.
1616
01:03:26.059 --> 01:03:27.900
You're in. It's so great to see you, Louie.
1617
01:03:28.360 --> 01:03:28.780
Thank you.
1618
01:03:28.860 --> 01:03:31.869
What's going on in the seagull trade these days?
1619
01:03:31.969 --> 01:03:33.670
Well, as you know, I've been trying to make it
1620
01:03:33.710 --> 01:03:35.409
in show business for quite some time.
1621
01:03:35.510 --> 01:03:38.809
That's right. What were you in? Eugene's been in one
1622
01:03:38.849 --> 01:03:40.800
and a half movies. What have you been in so far?
1623
01:03:40.820 --> 01:03:44.079
I've been flying through the studio of Dancing with the Stars.
1624
01:03:44.820 --> 01:03:47.000
I've just really kind of swooping in trying to get
1625
01:03:47.199 --> 01:03:48.199
my name out there.
1626
01:03:48.219 --> 01:03:50.440
And this is unsanctioned by Dancing with the Stars.
1627
01:03:50.500 --> 01:03:51.280
No, they don't like it.
1628
01:03:51.820 --> 01:03:54.070
They might even say we have a seagull problem somehow
1629
01:03:54.150 --> 01:03:54.710
in the studio.
1630
01:03:54.750 --> 01:03:58.090
They might say that. You should ask them. Scott, my family,
1631
01:03:58.489 --> 01:04:00.650
last time I went home, they said you have to
1632
01:04:00.690 --> 01:04:02.349
make it big or you have to move home.
1633
01:04:02.929 --> 01:04:07.150
No. Are they footing the bill? No pun intended because
1634
01:04:07.929 --> 01:04:08.809
birds have bills.
1635
01:04:09.030 --> 01:04:09.949
Yes. And feet.
1636
01:04:11.639 --> 01:04:12.880
I guess it's a double pun.
1637
01:04:13.019 --> 01:04:17.139
Yes. So this is my Hail Mary. You're my biggest
1638
01:04:17.159 --> 01:04:20.019
show business friend. I'm going to try to.
1639
01:04:20.199 --> 01:04:21.519
Well, you know, Eugene Merman is here.
1640
01:04:21.960 --> 01:04:22.099
Yeah.
1641
01:04:22.179 --> 01:04:25.300
And if I were to crash into a toll booth
1642
01:04:25.559 --> 01:04:26.960
in a fiery thing, I don't think I would get
1643
01:04:27.019 --> 01:04:29.900
a TMZ article about me.
1644
01:04:30.260 --> 01:04:31.159
I think you would.
1645
01:04:31.260 --> 01:04:33.309
I think you'd be surprised how interested they.
1646
01:04:33.340 --> 01:04:37.139
Are in any... I don't think it would make national
1647
01:04:37.179 --> 01:04:38.679
news for several days, though.
1648
01:04:39.320 --> 01:04:40.840
Mine didn't for several days because it took people a
1649
01:04:40.860 --> 01:04:43.070
few days to realize that I was in the car.
1650
01:04:43.090 --> 01:04:44.530
I think people would care, Scott.
1651
01:04:44.550 --> 01:04:45.289
Yeah, they would really care.
1652
01:04:45.309 --> 01:04:47.590
I'm not saying people wouldn't care.
1653
01:04:47.829 --> 01:04:49.920
And I know this sensibly, but try it?
1654
01:04:50.150 --> 01:04:50.489
Yeah.
1655
01:04:50.730 --> 01:04:52.960
Can you give me some tips?
1656
01:04:53.039 --> 01:04:54.159
Yeah, yeah.
1657
01:04:54.820 --> 01:04:56.119
That's the one thing I can't do. I'd be like,
1658
01:04:56.139 --> 01:04:58.699
I guess drive quickly. But I guess what I'm saying
1659
01:04:58.760 --> 01:05:00.579
is Eugene has more pull than I. I mean, he's
1660
01:05:00.659 --> 01:05:01.860
on a show currently.
1661
01:05:01.960 --> 01:05:02.159
Right.
1662
01:05:02.280 --> 01:05:05.139
Oh, I could be your understudy. Are they looking for
1663
01:05:05.199 --> 01:05:06.159
a Gene understudy?
1664
01:05:06.760 --> 01:05:09.880
I don't know because of how I'm not. I don't hire.
1665
01:05:09.900 --> 01:05:12.039
Here's my audition.
1666
01:05:12.099 --> 01:05:15.460
I'm not part of the casting. But I'll definitely say, hey,
1667
01:05:15.500 --> 01:05:19.300
I met a really great seagull that if we need
1668
01:05:19.340 --> 01:05:23.130
a seagull that's from Boston, you know, show.
1669
01:05:23.190 --> 01:05:24.969
You're Gene? Are you Gene?
1670
01:05:25.010 --> 01:05:25.309
Okay.
1671
01:05:25.349 --> 01:05:25.909
I could do Gene.
1672
01:05:25.949 --> 01:05:26.530
Yeah.
1673
01:05:26.829 --> 01:05:27.190
Let's see it.
1674
01:05:28.110 --> 01:05:29.380
This is me now.
1675
01:05:30.579 --> 01:05:31.800
I would say pretty good. Yeah.
1676
01:05:32.079 --> 01:05:34.199
Pretty good. And that's your catchphrase on the show.
1677
01:05:34.719 --> 01:05:36.460
I think I said it in one episode, but certainly
1678
01:05:36.500 --> 01:05:39.000
people appreciate it and say it a lot.
1679
01:05:39.280 --> 01:05:41.409
Why don't you throw it in a couple more times
1680
01:05:41.489 --> 01:05:43.329
so it could be like dough or whatever, you know?
1681
01:05:44.349 --> 01:05:44.670
Okay.
1682
01:05:44.710 --> 01:05:45.349
Who says that?
1683
01:05:47.050 --> 01:05:48.429
It is part of the Simpsons, Homer Simpson.
1684
01:05:48.510 --> 01:05:49.230
I'm not familiar.
1685
01:05:49.250 --> 01:05:49.389
Scott.
1686
01:05:49.409 --> 01:05:51.690
I haven't seen that one. I haven't flown by a
1687
01:05:51.710 --> 01:05:52.789
television when that's playing.
1688
01:05:52.989 --> 01:05:56.460
No, not yet. I think I should reboot something.
1689
01:05:57.340 --> 01:06:02.500
I think that's very popular. Ryan Coogler is rebooting The X-Files. Great.
1690
01:06:02.619 --> 01:06:05.030
What other reboots are going on these days? That's about
1691
01:06:05.070 --> 01:06:05.750
all I can think of.
1692
01:06:05.949 --> 01:06:07.949
Right, but what if I bring something back that people
1693
01:06:08.010 --> 01:06:08.670
are maybe missing?
1694
01:06:08.829 --> 01:06:11.269
Like Knight Rider, but it's like a bird in a car?
1695
01:06:11.510 --> 01:06:13.219
Yes, exactly. Or a man and a bird.
1696
01:06:13.800 --> 01:06:14.320
Or, oh my God.
1697
01:06:14.340 --> 01:06:14.840
Well, yeah.
1698
01:06:14.920 --> 01:06:17.699
A man, like a tiny man riding a bird.
1699
01:06:17.739 --> 01:06:18.019
Yeah.
1700
01:06:18.099 --> 01:06:18.239
Right.
1701
01:06:18.280 --> 01:06:19.699
That's like super helpful.
1702
01:06:19.719 --> 01:06:21.119
Yeah. That talks and has like.
1703
01:06:21.139 --> 01:06:22.039
But a computer voice.
1704
01:06:22.159 --> 01:06:24.230
Yeah. Like AI glasses.
1705
01:06:24.289 --> 01:06:24.829
Why not?
1706
01:06:25.010 --> 01:06:26.030
And it can hack anything.
1707
01:06:26.050 --> 01:06:28.090
Yeah. Some of those Ray-Ban, meta Ray-Bans.
1708
01:06:28.150 --> 01:06:28.429
Yeah.
1709
01:06:28.449 --> 01:06:28.710
Maybe.
1710
01:06:28.789 --> 01:06:29.070
Yeah.
1711
01:06:29.289 --> 01:06:30.289
Both of you are wearing them.
1712
01:06:30.369 --> 01:06:32.010
And the show's called Cool Go. Yeah.
1713
01:06:32.570 --> 01:06:33.050
Google.
1714
01:06:33.190 --> 01:06:33.650
Oh, my God.
1715
01:06:33.670 --> 01:06:34.239
Somebody write that down.
1716
01:06:34.260 --> 01:06:35.090
Oh, you know what you should redo?
1717
01:06:35.380 --> 01:06:37.119
Spencer for Hire, set in Boston.
1718
01:06:37.159 --> 01:06:37.699
There you go.
1719
01:06:37.719 --> 01:06:38.599
Yes.
1720
01:06:38.699 --> 01:06:39.300
Yeah.
1721
01:06:39.500 --> 01:06:41.440
We just need a tough bird friend.
1722
01:06:41.599 --> 01:06:44.820
That was a show that primarily concerned it with people
1723
01:06:44.880 --> 01:06:46.699
hiring a guy named Spencer. Is that right?
1724
01:06:46.860 --> 01:06:47.849
Probably to solve things.
1725
01:06:47.909 --> 01:06:48.909
I hope so.
1726
01:06:49.130 --> 01:06:49.329
Yeah.
1727
01:06:49.449 --> 01:06:50.230
Oh, hey, you're still here.
1728
01:06:50.269 --> 01:06:50.610
Yeah.
1729
01:06:50.829 --> 01:06:51.210
That's right.
1730
01:06:51.389 --> 01:06:51.510
Yeah.
1731
01:06:51.530 --> 01:06:53.650
Just enjoying the conversation. How's it going, Devin? Yeah.
1732
01:06:54.329 --> 01:06:54.869
I would, yeah.
1733
01:06:56.179 --> 01:06:57.840
Yeah, Spencer Fry, have you ever seen this?
1734
01:06:58.039 --> 01:06:58.920
No, I'm not familiar.
1735
01:06:59.139 --> 01:07:02.130
Robert Urich, is that right? That's right, yeah. Wasn't he
1736
01:07:02.190 --> 01:07:05.550
on Vegas? He wasn't, yeah, yeah. The television show with
1737
01:07:05.590 --> 01:07:09.219
the dollars. No, I meant on the city. Oh. No,
1738
01:07:09.280 --> 01:07:11.420
I mean, he may have been in it at a
1739
01:07:11.440 --> 01:07:12.280
certain point, but yeah.
1740
01:07:12.559 --> 01:07:14.239
I was thinking more like I could be the next
1741
01:07:14.380 --> 01:07:14.900
Ethan Hunt.
1742
01:07:16.079 --> 01:07:17.260
Oh, Mission Impossible.
1743
01:07:17.280 --> 01:07:20.309
Yeah, they finished that up, right? I could jump out
1744
01:07:20.329 --> 01:07:20.889
of an airplane.
1745
01:07:20.909 --> 01:07:24.230
I mean, they weren't calling it Final Impossible or whatever,
1746
01:07:24.269 --> 01:07:27.110
but I bet it's a lie. I bet they do more. Oh, okay.
1747
01:07:27.170 --> 01:07:28.210
Well, so maybe not that one.
1748
01:07:28.929 --> 01:07:30.110
Oh, I don't mean, but no.
1749
01:07:30.269 --> 01:07:31.469
No, no, I got a long list.
1750
01:07:31.630 --> 01:07:35.940
Maybe you do a Jason Bourne reboot, but it's like Airborne. Okay.
1751
01:07:36.019 --> 01:07:36.860
Or Air Bud.
1752
01:07:37.989 --> 01:07:39.590
Air Bud, but it's a seagull. And they pass me
1753
01:07:39.630 --> 01:07:41.219
the ball and I explode into feathers.
1754
01:07:41.280 --> 01:07:42.920
And there's nothing in the rule book that says you
1755
01:07:42.940 --> 01:07:43.920
can't do that. That's right.
1756
01:07:44.119 --> 01:07:45.739
That a seagull can't play basketball.
1757
01:07:45.780 --> 01:07:48.030
Yeah. Or maybe your beak.
1758
01:07:49.750 --> 01:07:53.389
Punctures the ball and it deflates and everyone's like no.
1759
01:07:53.269 --> 01:07:54.929
Don't insult me i don't want to be in an
1760
01:07:55.010 --> 01:07:57.070
animal movie i'm sorry i don't want them to give
1761
01:07:57.110 --> 01:07:59.460
me peanut butter or whatever to make my mouth move
1762
01:07:59.579 --> 01:08:01.280
from my lines that someone else to be.
1763
01:08:01.280 --> 01:08:03.480
Fair i have been giving you peanut butter this entire
1764
01:08:03.579 --> 01:08:06.079
episode so far.
1765
01:08:06.960 --> 01:08:08.800
It's so good do.
1766
01:08:08.300 --> 01:08:09.840
You want to be seen as a human do you
1767
01:08:09.900 --> 01:08:11.260
identify as human.
1768
01:08:11.019 --> 01:08:13.780
Yes i can i i could play a human no
1769
01:08:13.820 --> 01:08:14.980
problem yeah.
1770
01:08:15.570 --> 01:08:18.510
What they can do with CGI and makeup and special
1771
01:08:18.569 --> 01:08:19.770
effects these days, right?
1772
01:08:19.949 --> 01:08:21.590
I'm going to keep going down my list of reboots.
1773
01:08:21.670 --> 01:08:22.250
Okay, what do we got?
1774
01:08:22.569 --> 01:08:24.609
Well, this one feels a little insensitive to do in
1775
01:08:24.649 --> 01:08:25.310
front of you, Gene.
1776
01:08:25.670 --> 01:08:25.869
Okay.
1777
01:08:25.909 --> 01:08:27.470
Is it the Phantom Tollbooth?
1778
01:08:27.550 --> 01:08:30.329
It's the Phantom Tollbooth. I was thinking of the Phantom Tollbooth.
1779
01:08:30.449 --> 01:08:30.689
Yeah.
1780
01:08:30.810 --> 01:08:31.869
Remember that movie?
1781
01:08:31.890 --> 01:08:34.069
Yeah, you could be like, you call it also the
1782
01:08:34.090 --> 01:08:34.829
Phantom Tollbooth.
1783
01:08:35.029 --> 01:08:35.270
Yeah.
1784
01:08:37.189 --> 01:08:39.090
The Phantom Toolbooth.
1785
01:08:39.109 --> 01:08:40.090
Toolbooth.
1786
01:08:40.170 --> 01:08:40.390
Yeah.
1787
01:08:40.710 --> 01:08:41.949
What about the Phantom Toolbox?
1788
01:08:43.000 --> 01:08:45.399
I feel like we're getting far away from the content.
1789
01:08:44.979 --> 01:08:46.920
Of the original thing. What about just regular toolbox?
1790
01:08:48.319 --> 01:08:49.659
What are we talking about, Scott?
1791
01:08:49.979 --> 01:08:50.340
Come on.
1792
01:08:50.359 --> 01:08:50.840
I don't know.
1793
01:08:50.859 --> 01:08:52.659
This is serious, Scott. I have to move back home
1794
01:08:52.729 --> 01:08:53.409
if I don't get this.
1795
01:08:53.550 --> 01:08:53.869
I'm sorry.
1796
01:08:53.949 --> 01:08:54.770
This is serious.
1797
01:08:55.029 --> 01:08:56.909
You don't want to move back home because it's a
1798
01:08:56.949 --> 01:08:57.970
crowded nest or.
1799
01:08:58.229 --> 01:09:01.319
Yeah, well, yeah, I don't... To go back to just, like,
1800
01:09:01.520 --> 01:09:04.500
terrorizing people on Cape Cod for their french fries.
1801
01:09:04.520 --> 01:09:06.619
Are singles in nests, by the way, or do they
1802
01:09:06.640 --> 01:09:07.640
just fly around until they.
1803
01:09:07.659 --> 01:09:09.399
They just fly around trying to get your sandwich.
1804
01:09:09.579 --> 01:09:09.930
Yeah.
1805
01:09:10.470 --> 01:09:10.649
Yeah.
1806
01:09:11.090 --> 01:09:12.109
I mean, we do more than that.
1807
01:09:12.529 --> 01:09:12.850
Sorry.
1808
01:09:12.890 --> 01:09:13.989
We try to also get, like.
1809
01:09:14.010 --> 01:09:15.470
Yeah, we don't mean to be reductive, but.
1810
01:09:15.489 --> 01:09:17.590
What if you got on a sort of reality show,
1811
01:09:17.630 --> 01:09:18.979
you know, maybe like a.
1812
01:09:19.869 --> 01:09:20.350
The voice.
1813
01:09:21.109 --> 01:09:23.350
Oh, oh my gosh. Would you guys turn your chairs
1814
01:09:23.390 --> 01:09:23.930
around for me?
1815
01:09:24.409 --> 01:09:26.729
Sure. I mean, we could reenact it right here.
1816
01:09:27.010 --> 01:09:28.149
Oh yeah.
1817
01:09:28.369 --> 01:09:28.590
Yeah.
1818
01:09:28.689 --> 01:09:28.869
Yeah.
1819
01:09:28.890 --> 01:09:29.930
Let's turn our chairs around.
1820
01:09:29.949 --> 01:09:30.520
Okay.
1821
01:09:30.649 --> 01:09:30.979
Eugene.
1822
01:09:31.029 --> 01:09:31.310
Okay.
1823
01:09:31.350 --> 01:09:33.180
And let's, let's, uh, and Devin.
1824
01:09:33.199 --> 01:09:33.460
Yeah.
1825
01:09:33.659 --> 01:09:35.619
Go ahead. Turn your chair. You got a chore.
1826
01:09:35.640 --> 01:09:36.520
All right. What should I sing?
1827
01:09:36.560 --> 01:09:37.319
Goodness.
1828
01:09:37.539 --> 01:09:37.699
Yeah.
1829
01:09:37.720 --> 01:09:40.739
Do you, do you have a karaoke staple or anything
1830
01:09:40.760 --> 01:09:42.159
like that that you, that you like to sing?
1831
01:09:43.840 --> 01:09:49.579
I've heard that you've settled down, that you've... No one's moving.
1832
01:09:49.800 --> 01:09:52.560
Found a girl. Maybe they can't hear me. That you're
1833
01:09:53.340 --> 01:09:56.979
married now. They're not moving. They're not moving. Are your
1834
01:09:57.020 --> 01:09:57.619
chairs stuck?
1835
01:09:57.810 --> 01:09:59.050
Can I help you unstick your chairs? Oh, no, we're
1836
01:09:59.060 --> 01:10:01.989
just waiting for it to be over. Look here.
1837
01:10:02.050 --> 01:10:02.449
Oh, my God.
1838
01:10:02.649 --> 01:10:05.840
I just realized something. I don't know.
1839
01:10:05.979 --> 01:10:06.779
The rules of the voice.
1840
01:10:07.100 --> 01:10:07.520
Yeah.
1841
01:10:07.979 --> 01:10:11.079
And I definitely at first decided that what we were
1842
01:10:11.119 --> 01:10:12.359
doing was the Masked Singer.
1843
01:10:12.739 --> 01:10:15.000
But then I was like, well, it's not.
1844
01:10:14.880 --> 01:10:17.720
The Masked Singer because that's a person you don't know
1845
01:10:17.859 --> 01:10:20.649
who they are. And all we know is who this is.
1846
01:10:20.689 --> 01:10:22.930
There's not an added level of we're going to turn
1847
01:10:22.970 --> 01:10:25.090
our chairs around so we don't guess who this is.
1848
01:10:25.329 --> 01:10:28.470
So the mask does everything. Yeah, exactly. Thank goodness.
1849
01:10:28.489 --> 01:10:30.289
So why do people on The Voice turn their chairs around?
1850
01:10:30.310 --> 01:10:32.939
Because they don't want to be confused by if this
1851
01:10:32.979 --> 01:10:35.100
person has a marketable look. They just want to hear
1852
01:10:35.159 --> 01:10:39.220
The Voice first. And then if they're interested in coaching
1853
01:10:39.239 --> 01:10:43.579
the person, they hit a button, their chair swings around,
1854
01:10:44.020 --> 01:10:47.890
and they then own that person in terms of, I mean,
1855
01:10:47.930 --> 01:10:49.090
not in a bad way.
1856
01:10:49.130 --> 01:10:49.890
No, they own them.
1857
01:10:50.090 --> 01:10:52.470
They own them, yeah. I got distracted. I turned around.
1858
01:10:52.489 --> 01:10:54.729
I got lost. Lost in your wallpaper.
1859
01:10:55.329 --> 01:10:55.630
Yeah.
1860
01:10:55.729 --> 01:10:57.350
Do you see it? Is there a ghost or anything
1861
01:10:57.369 --> 01:10:59.670
that you saw? I don't think so, but it's just so...
1862
01:10:59.510 --> 01:11:02.189
Why are there any ghosts hanging around my place? I
1863
01:11:02.189 --> 01:11:04.149
don't know. They must all have finished their business and
1864
01:11:04.189 --> 01:11:04.449
moved on.
1865
01:11:04.470 --> 01:11:07.250
I'm going to be honest, Scott. My confidence got eviscerated
1866
01:11:07.329 --> 01:11:10.189
watching three people not move their chairs.
1867
01:11:10.270 --> 01:11:12.630
I would have turned my chair around if I knew
1868
01:11:12.689 --> 01:11:15.640
any of the rules. I just did what I was told,
1869
01:11:15.689 --> 01:11:16.979
and what I was told to do is turn my
1870
01:11:17.020 --> 01:11:19.149
chair around. It was cool, but I was never told
1871
01:11:19.189 --> 01:11:20.100
what happens after.
1872
01:11:20.180 --> 01:11:20.880
So you like her....
1873
01:11:22.960 --> 01:11:25.850
I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.
1874
01:11:26.100 --> 01:11:30.100
You enjoy Louie's singing and you would like to coach Louie.
1875
01:11:30.199 --> 01:11:32.300
I can't coach, but I would have turned my chair
1876
01:11:32.319 --> 01:11:34.020
around in the spirit of affirmation.
1877
01:11:34.060 --> 01:11:35.130
In the spirit of the voice.
1878
01:11:35.810 --> 01:11:38.170
I should have sung something from the Phantom Tollbooth or
1879
01:11:38.270 --> 01:11:40.810
an Irish song. Maybe if I had done an Irish song.
1880
01:11:40.909 --> 01:11:43.510
I totally was distracted. It sounded great.
1881
01:11:44.189 --> 01:11:45.850
Oh, my God. No, no, don't feel bad. I was
1882
01:11:45.890 --> 01:11:48.000
not distracted. I was locked in. Do you know any
1883
01:11:48.060 --> 01:11:48.800
Saw Doctors?
1884
01:11:48.819 --> 01:11:48.979
No.
1885
01:11:50.340 --> 01:11:50.680
No.
1886
01:11:51.159 --> 01:11:54.020
Oh, my God. This is humiliating. Forget it, Scott. I
1887
01:11:54.039 --> 01:11:56.659
was going to suggest a lot more reboots, but I just,
1888
01:11:56.760 --> 01:11:57.399
I think you're right.
1889
01:11:58.680 --> 01:12:00.270
I think you need a pep talk here because I
1890
01:12:00.270 --> 01:12:02.590
think you're very charismatic, Louie. And I think, you know,
1891
01:12:02.609 --> 01:12:04.189
it's just your parents being hard on you.
1892
01:12:04.210 --> 01:12:05.529
No, I'm packing my bindle.
1893
01:12:05.670 --> 01:12:06.250
I'm going.
1894
01:12:06.390 --> 01:12:08.250
Don't pack your bindle. Don't pack your bindle.
1895
01:12:08.289 --> 01:12:09.699
Here I go, packing my bindle.
1896
01:12:09.739 --> 01:12:11.880
You need determination in this business.
1897
01:12:11.920 --> 01:12:12.659
I mean, Eugene.
1898
01:12:13.439 --> 01:12:15.239
You know, Eugene, you can speak to this, right?
1899
01:12:15.979 --> 01:12:17.619
I think you just, all you got to do is
1900
01:12:17.640 --> 01:12:20.319
you don't stop. You just keep moving forward just a
1901
01:12:20.359 --> 01:12:21.239
little bit each day.
1902
01:12:21.460 --> 01:12:23.140
How old were you when you made it big?
1903
01:12:23.140 --> 01:12:24.659
51.
1904
01:12:24.659 --> 01:12:28.000
Okay, I'm eight years older than that.
1905
01:12:28.039 --> 01:12:29.460
When you found out he was on TMZ.
1906
01:12:29.560 --> 01:12:31.399
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
1907
01:12:32.199 --> 01:12:33.899
You're 59 years old?
1908
01:12:33.939 --> 01:12:34.039
Yeah.
1909
01:12:35.859 --> 01:12:36.600
Oh.
1910
01:12:36.699 --> 01:12:38.420
In seagull years or? Incredible.
1911
01:12:38.560 --> 01:12:39.340
In human years.
1912
01:12:39.439 --> 01:12:40.039
In human years.
1913
01:12:40.159 --> 01:12:40.779
In seagull years.
1914
01:12:40.800 --> 01:12:42.479
Do seagulls live to like one or 200 years?
1915
01:12:42.520 --> 01:12:42.699
Yeah.
1916
01:12:42.760 --> 01:12:44.449
Yeah. We're like tortoises in that way.
1917
01:12:44.470 --> 01:12:45.710
That's why there's so many, I guess.
1918
01:12:45.810 --> 01:12:45.989
Yeah.
1919
01:12:46.050 --> 01:12:46.250
Yeah.
1920
01:12:46.750 --> 01:12:48.470
Have you ever seen a seagull ghost before?
1921
01:12:48.489 --> 01:12:50.090
I have, sure. Many a time.
1922
01:12:50.109 --> 01:12:50.909
Oh my gosh.
1923
01:12:50.949 --> 01:12:53.720
And there is a seagull heaven. There is. Yes, that's right.
1924
01:12:53.760 --> 01:12:56.220
Every animal, its own heaven. Camel heaven. It seems like
1925
01:12:56.239 --> 01:12:58.520
there's not a lot of room up there then. That
1926
01:12:58.659 --> 01:13:00.560
must be crowded, you know, sort of sectioned off. Well,
1927
01:13:00.590 --> 01:13:02.949
especially for like fly heaven and mosquito heaven. They live
1928
01:13:02.989 --> 01:13:05.229
such short lives. There must have been so many over
1929
01:13:05.250 --> 01:13:08.710
the years. But maybe when you're up in heaven, you're
1930
01:13:08.729 --> 01:13:11.600
not taking up space. Everyone's passing between each other.
1931
01:13:11.619 --> 01:13:14.159
Or you're so blissed out, you don't need a ton
1932
01:13:14.199 --> 01:13:14.579
of space.
1933
01:13:14.739 --> 01:13:16.600
Yeah. It's sort of like New York.
1934
01:13:16.680 --> 01:13:16.939
Oh, wow.
1935
01:13:17.000 --> 01:13:18.800
The city is so exciting. I can live in a
1936
01:13:18.779 --> 01:13:21.319
300 square foot apartment or something.
1937
01:13:21.390 --> 01:13:23.710
Do you think mosquito heaven is someone else's health?
1938
01:13:25.039 --> 01:13:25.640
That's a good point.
1939
01:13:25.659 --> 01:13:27.649
Do you think they double up to save some space?
1940
01:13:28.189 --> 01:13:29.329
Yeah. That's right.
1941
01:13:29.390 --> 01:13:32.850
So yeah, mosquito heavens, just all the people are there.
1942
01:13:32.970 --> 01:13:34.930
Or it's cow hell.
1943
01:13:35.369 --> 01:13:36.010
Yeah.
1944
01:13:36.590 --> 01:13:37.729
For bad cows.
1945
01:13:38.319 --> 01:13:39.800
But don't they love swatting flies?
1946
01:13:40.100 --> 01:13:40.439
I don't know.
1947
01:13:40.460 --> 01:13:41.239
That must be satisfying.
1948
01:13:41.260 --> 01:13:45.159
But cow heaven could be like a vegetarian's hell. Right,
1949
01:13:45.270 --> 01:13:48.329
so you're a vegetarian. Although I guess in cow heaven,
1950
01:13:48.449 --> 01:13:49.229
they're not being eaten.
1951
01:13:50.050 --> 01:13:52.100
Yeah, that's the only thing we know about cows.
1952
01:13:52.140 --> 01:13:53.479
How do we know they don't like it? How do
1953
01:13:53.500 --> 01:13:55.100
we know they don't like it?
1954
01:13:55.180 --> 01:14:01.170
Cows who love being eaten, that's their heaven. With, not with, uh...
1955
01:14:01.970 --> 01:14:07.369
Let's see. Vegetarian people trying to eat them. No, wait, okay. No,
1956
01:14:07.430 --> 01:14:08.930
this works. This works, okay.
1957
01:14:08.949 --> 01:14:11.930
Yeah, vegetarians who don't want to eat meat and cows
1958
01:14:11.949 --> 01:14:12.829
who don't like to be eaten.
1959
01:14:12.850 --> 01:14:15.140
Being forced at gunpoint, but who are the people with
1960
01:14:15.149 --> 01:14:20.880
the guns? Is that heaven for murderers? That's a good
1961
01:14:20.920 --> 01:14:22.800
guy with a gun. Oh, the good guy with a gun.
1962
01:14:22.819 --> 01:14:23.479
That's where they go.
1963
01:14:23.760 --> 01:14:23.979
Yeah.
1964
01:14:24.520 --> 01:14:26.760
So you go to cow heaven, and you've got to
1965
01:14:26.899 --> 01:14:27.899
make the vegetarians.
1966
01:14:28.000 --> 01:14:29.880
What if I reboot Top Gun?
1967
01:14:30.539 --> 01:14:32.000
Oh, I love it. This is great.
1968
01:14:32.119 --> 01:14:32.859
And I'm the plane.
1969
01:14:33.880 --> 01:14:37.800
Yes. And Tom Cruise is riding you. Who? In Russia,
1970
01:14:37.840 --> 01:14:39.000
Tom Cruise rides you.
1971
01:14:39.420 --> 01:14:40.880
I don't know who that is, Scott.
1972
01:14:41.039 --> 01:14:43.600
Oh, my God. You'd love him. I'd love him. You'd
1973
01:14:43.640 --> 01:14:45.270
love him. Wait, you know Ethan Hunt?
1974
01:14:45.510 --> 01:14:45.979
Yeah, of course.
1975
01:14:46.430 --> 01:14:48.229
Okay, it's the guy who plays Ethan Hunt.
1976
01:14:48.449 --> 01:14:49.449
I can't picture his face.
1977
01:14:49.869 --> 01:14:51.350
Maybe a Jerry Maguire reboot.
1978
01:14:52.310 --> 01:14:55.420
Oh, show me. That's not that, is it?
1979
01:14:55.720 --> 01:14:58.140
That is actually, you're right. Depends on what you're about
1980
01:14:58.180 --> 01:14:59.800
to say. If it's your tits.
1981
01:15:00.359 --> 01:15:01.180
Yeah, show me your tits.
1982
01:15:01.699 --> 01:15:04.020
Something entirely different. And if it's your show me your
1983
01:15:04.039 --> 01:15:06.859
small wiener, it's the ghost talking to me. But if
1984
01:15:06.920 --> 01:15:08.840
it's the money. Oh, yeah.
1985
01:15:08.859 --> 01:15:10.239
Show me the money. That's Jerry Maguire.
1986
01:15:10.260 --> 01:15:12.819
What's the plot of that? It's just a.
1987
01:15:12.779 --> 01:15:15.159
Guy who wants people to show him money. And then
1988
01:15:15.310 --> 01:15:18.449
eventually someone shows him money and he's like, thank you.
1989
01:15:18.510 --> 01:15:22.739
Good night. Simultaneous goodnight on Comedy Bang Bang. And uh-huh.
1990
01:15:22.819 --> 01:15:23.970
That's crazy.
1991
01:15:24.029 --> 01:15:24.369
Wow.
1992
01:15:24.569 --> 01:15:25.550
Oh, my God.
1993
01:15:26.109 --> 01:15:28.850
That's wild. I think you should just keep going. I mean,
1994
01:15:29.569 --> 01:15:32.550
persistence is what this business is all about.
1995
01:15:32.729 --> 01:15:35.899
Showbiz is so humiliating, Scott. I can't do another minute
1996
01:15:35.920 --> 01:15:36.199
of this.
1997
01:15:36.279 --> 01:15:38.140
I don't know. Well, then it sounds like it's your
1998
01:15:38.420 --> 01:15:39.159
decision to quit.
1999
01:15:39.720 --> 01:15:41.979
No, I don't want to quit. I want to be famous.
2000
01:15:42.000 --> 01:15:45.399
I want to be rich. Well, those are two different things.
2001
01:15:45.739 --> 01:15:49.310
Because seagulls get a bad rap. People don't like us.
2002
01:15:49.430 --> 01:15:53.899
That's true. You're the villains in things like Puffin Rock
2003
01:15:54.199 --> 01:15:57.899
and in a lot of children's cartoons, you're the villains.
2004
01:15:58.300 --> 01:16:01.739
Also, if you're reading a book about disease, you don't
2005
01:16:01.800 --> 01:16:02.359
come out good.
2006
01:16:02.619 --> 01:16:02.979
Yeah.
2007
01:16:03.119 --> 01:16:06.649
But I mean, in Little Mermaid, you're one of the
2008
01:16:06.689 --> 01:16:07.489
fun characters.
2009
01:16:07.590 --> 01:16:07.810
Yeah.
2010
01:16:07.850 --> 01:16:09.489
What's that guy's name who does that voice?
2011
01:16:09.569 --> 01:16:11.270
I don't know. Who does the voice?
2012
01:16:11.289 --> 01:16:15.250
Yeah, who does the voice? What's the fucking seagull's name?
2013
01:16:15.390 --> 01:16:17.479
What else has he done? Do you want me to
2014
01:16:17.500 --> 01:16:17.890
look this up?
2015
01:16:17.899 --> 01:16:18.460
Yeah, look him up.
2016
01:16:18.579 --> 01:16:20.199
He's like an old Hollywood guy.
2017
01:16:20.460 --> 01:16:22.279
Dom DeLuise. He's sort of got a Dom DeLuise vibe.
2018
01:16:22.300 --> 01:16:27.270
Excuse me. Who does the voice to the funny seagull?
2019
01:16:27.369 --> 01:16:29.489
I don't want to bother my internet. To the funny
2020
01:16:29.550 --> 01:16:35.159
seagull in a movie called The Little Mermaid. Oh, my God.
2021
01:16:35.199 --> 01:16:35.840
I don't remember.
2022
01:16:36.750 --> 01:16:37.770
Aquafina.
2023
01:16:37.850 --> 01:16:38.710
That's the new one.
2024
01:16:38.789 --> 01:16:41.710
That's the reboot. That's the new one. Buddy Hackett.
2025
01:16:41.750 --> 01:16:41.890
Yes.
2026
01:16:41.909 --> 01:16:42.750
Shapoopy.
2027
01:16:42.789 --> 01:16:43.069
Yes.
2028
01:16:43.250 --> 01:16:43.930
Shapoopy.
2029
01:16:44.090 --> 01:16:47.619
Shapoopy. The girl is hard to get. You see, this
2030
01:16:47.680 --> 01:16:48.960
is what messed me up as I was in The
2031
01:16:49.020 --> 01:16:51.359
Music Man in high school. That was my senior show.
2032
01:16:51.460 --> 01:16:52.560
And it gave me the confidence.
2033
01:16:52.859 --> 01:16:53.460
Gave me the taste.
2034
01:16:53.479 --> 01:16:55.640
Who did you play?
2035
01:16:55.699 --> 01:16:57.529
What's the- One of the trombones.
2036
01:16:58.970 --> 01:17:03.800
Scott, seagulls can play men. I did the entire opening
2037
01:17:03.840 --> 01:17:05.399
number to that show completely by myself.
2038
01:17:05.420 --> 01:17:07.840
You're insulted to a pursuit. What do you talk? What
2039
01:17:07.859 --> 01:17:08.260
do you talk?
2040
01:17:08.279 --> 01:17:09.319
What do you talk? Where do you get it? I
2041
01:17:09.319 --> 01:17:11.260
did that completely by myself. How dare you, Scott?
2042
01:17:11.300 --> 01:17:11.520
Here, go.
2043
01:17:11.539 --> 01:17:14.539
But that's a song between, like, 20 salesmen.
2044
01:17:14.680 --> 01:17:16.579
Yeah, you think I can't do it? You think I
2045
01:17:16.600 --> 01:17:18.819
can't do that number right now completely by myself?
2046
01:17:18.850 --> 01:17:19.479
All right, go ahead.
2047
01:17:20.260 --> 01:17:23.279
Charlie, you're an anvil salesman. Your firm give credit. You're
2048
01:17:23.310 --> 01:17:24.029
going to regret this.
2049
01:17:24.430 --> 01:17:25.149
No, sir.
2050
01:17:25.529 --> 01:17:29.510
Nor anybody else. Cash for the merchandise. Cash for the
2051
01:17:29.569 --> 01:17:32.350
button hooks. Cash for the cotton goods. Cash for the
2052
01:17:32.409 --> 01:17:35.100
hard goods. Cash for the soft goods. Cash for the
2053
01:17:35.159 --> 01:17:37.840
fancy goods. Cash for the noggins and the pickings and
2054
01:17:37.859 --> 01:17:41.760
the firkins. Cash for the hogshead, cash and demicon. Cash
2055
01:17:41.800 --> 01:17:44.060
for the pickles and the something in the flypaper.
2056
01:17:44.119 --> 01:17:45.079
Look, what do you talk?
2057
01:17:45.180 --> 01:17:46.460
What do you talk? What do you talk?
2058
01:17:46.520 --> 01:17:47.060
What do you talk?
2059
01:17:47.239 --> 01:17:48.520
Where do you get it? I'm going to go faster.
2060
01:17:48.810 --> 01:17:50.170
You can talk. You can talk. You can bicker.
2061
01:17:50.189 --> 01:17:50.609
You can talk.
2062
01:17:50.630 --> 01:17:51.430
You can bicker.
2063
01:17:51.449 --> 01:17:51.829
You can talk.
2064
01:17:51.850 --> 01:17:53.890
You can talk. You can talk, talk, talk, talk, bicker, bicker, bicker.
2065
01:17:53.909 --> 01:17:55.250
You can talk all you want, but it's different than
2066
01:17:55.270 --> 01:17:56.470
it was. No, it ain't, but you got to know
2067
01:17:56.489 --> 01:18:07.449
the territory. Why, it's the you-need-a-biscuit-made-trouble-you-need-a-you-need-a-put-a-cracker-in-the-package-in-the-package-you-need-a-biscuit-and-air-tight-centenary-package-made-to-cracker-brow-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute- Cracker-brow went out the
2068
01:18:07.479 --> 01:18:10.420
window with the mail-church-but-but-but-but-the-the-the-stove Changed the approach of a chav
2069
01:18:10.439 --> 01:18:12.020
and salesman, made it pretty hard, no it didn't, no
2070
01:18:12.060 --> 01:18:13.859
it didn't, but you gotta know the territory Gone, gone,
2071
01:18:14.100 --> 01:18:16.479
gone with the hogshead, casket, demijohn Gone with the cricket ball,
2072
01:18:16.500 --> 01:18:24.890
cricket ball, blub-blub-blub-blub Gone Just a minute.
2073
01:18:24.909 --> 01:18:25.310
Just a minute.
2074
01:18:25.329 --> 01:18:27.090
Just a minute. Never heard of any salesman. He'll know
2075
01:18:27.130 --> 01:18:28.970
he doesn't know the territory. Doesn't know the territory. What's
2076
01:18:28.989 --> 01:18:30.729
the fellow's lie? Never worries about his lie. Never worries
2077
01:18:30.750 --> 01:18:32.640
about his lie. The Cracker Barrel Bean Upsaline or the
2078
01:18:32.680 --> 01:18:34.619
You Need a Biscuit and an Airtight Sanitary Package or
2079
01:18:34.640 --> 01:18:35.760
the Model T Ford. Just a minute.
2080
01:18:35.779 --> 01:18:36.159
Just a minute.
2081
01:18:36.199 --> 01:18:37.840
Just a minute. Never worry about his lie. Never worries
2082
01:18:37.859 --> 01:18:38.180
about his lie.
2083
01:18:38.460 --> 01:18:39.060
Doggone thing.
2084
01:18:39.119 --> 01:18:41.829
He's just a bangbeat bell-ringing big, uh, uh, uh, uh,
2085
01:18:41.880 --> 01:18:46.510
rip-roaring salesman. Hold on. Hold on. I got it. Tell
2086
01:18:46.550 --> 01:18:48.010
us what's his lie. What's his lie? He's a fake
2087
01:18:48.050 --> 01:18:49.510
and he doesn't know the territory. Look, what are you talking?
2088
01:18:49.529 --> 01:18:40.529
What are you talking? He's a music man.
2089
01:18:40.569 --> 01:18:41.109
He's a what?
2090
01:18:41.189 --> 01:18:41.729
He's a what?
2091
01:18:41.770 --> 01:18:43.409
He's a music man. And he sells clarinets to the
2092
01:18:43.550 --> 01:18:45.760
kids in the town with a big trombone and rat-a-tat
2093
01:18:45.770 --> 01:18:59.119
drums and the big brass bass, big brass bass. And
2094
01:18:59.140 --> 01:19:01.359
the piccolo, the piccolo, uniforms too, with a shiny gold
2095
01:19:01.390 --> 01:19:03.289
braid on the coat, and the big red stripe on the, well,
2096
01:19:03.569 --> 01:19:05.189
I don't know much about bands, but I do know
2097
01:19:05.229 --> 01:19:07.649
you can't make a living selling big trombones. No, sir.
2098
01:19:07.930 --> 01:19:10.449
Mandolin picks, perhaps? And here and there, a Jew's harp. No,
2099
01:19:10.489 --> 01:19:12.729
the fellow sells bands, boys' bands. I don't know how
2100
01:19:12.750 --> 01:19:14.560
he does it, but he lives like a king, and
2101
01:19:14.569 --> 01:19:16.420
he dallies, and he gallies, and he plucks, and he shines,
2102
01:19:16.460 --> 01:19:19.560
and when the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The
2103
01:19:19.600 --> 01:19:21.720
piper pays him. Yes, sir.
2104
01:19:21.880 --> 01:19:22.640
Yes, sir.
2105
01:19:23.100 --> 01:19:25.420
But he doesn't know the territory.
2106
01:19:27.060 --> 01:19:28.260
Wow.
2107
01:19:28.300 --> 01:19:28.699
Oh, my God.
2108
01:19:29.579 --> 01:19:30.850
I skipped a big part.
2109
01:19:30.890 --> 01:19:34.369
There were only a few somethings and this is.
2110
01:19:34.710 --> 01:19:34.949
Yeah.
2111
01:19:35.470 --> 01:19:37.270
I mean, I think it's clear that what the reboot
2112
01:19:37.289 --> 01:19:39.710
should be is you should do a one seagull version
2113
01:19:39.729 --> 01:19:40.310
of Hamilton.
2114
01:19:40.369 --> 01:19:40.989
Yes.
2115
01:19:41.989 --> 01:19:42.899
That would be incredible.
2116
01:19:43.229 --> 01:19:43.340
Yeah.
2117
01:19:43.350 --> 01:19:44.840
The orphanage.
2118
01:19:47.229 --> 01:19:49.729
That was incredible. It was amazing.
2119
01:19:49.810 --> 01:19:50.970
I skipped a big part.
2120
01:19:50.750 --> 01:19:51.800
In the middle.
2121
01:19:51.939 --> 01:19:53.069
Not from my point of view.
2122
01:19:53.100 --> 01:19:55.380
Good editing because I didn't miss it. In your opinion,
2123
01:19:55.420 --> 01:19:58.260
did the music man was part of the con? Was
2124
01:19:58.319 --> 01:20:00.800
he provides the uniforms? Yeah.
2125
01:20:00.939 --> 01:20:01.119
Yeah.
2126
01:20:01.359 --> 01:20:01.560
Okay.
2127
01:20:01.640 --> 01:20:02.899
Yeah. And the whole band.
2128
01:20:02.960 --> 01:20:05.359
But then he ends up doing it and he falls
2129
01:20:05.399 --> 01:20:06.399
in love with the librarian.
2130
01:20:06.460 --> 01:20:08.340
Well, sure. We know the plot. I just that's one
2131
01:20:08.380 --> 01:20:11.760
sticking point. That was incredible. Look, I can see why
2132
01:20:11.800 --> 01:20:14.619
you got the bug. Again, no pun intended because I'm
2133
01:20:14.659 --> 01:20:19.250
sure you've swallowed bugs when you're flying around. A little offensive?
2134
01:20:19.270 --> 01:20:22.710
All right. Yeah, I've sent some mosquitoes to mosquito heaven,
2135
01:20:22.770 --> 01:20:23.109
I guess.
2136
01:20:23.409 --> 01:20:25.800
I would imagine if I were to drive around without
2137
01:20:25.819 --> 01:20:27.859
a windshield, I would be swallowing bugs all the time.
2138
01:20:27.899 --> 01:20:30.100
So it's not, I mean, it's... I almost just passed
2139
01:20:30.159 --> 01:20:31.159
out when I was doing that. I'm going to be
2140
01:20:31.180 --> 01:20:32.670
honest with you.
2141
01:20:32.729 --> 01:20:33.550
It seems like a lot.
2142
01:20:34.550 --> 01:20:36.390
I started seeing white at the edge of my vision.
2143
01:20:36.630 --> 01:20:36.989
Really?
2144
01:20:37.010 --> 01:20:37.670
Yeah.
2145
01:20:37.970 --> 01:20:40.529
Maybe, Eugene, is this what you were doing in the car?
2146
01:20:40.729 --> 01:20:42.529
Oh my God, Eugene, you cannot be doing that in
2147
01:20:42.550 --> 01:20:42.729
the car.
2148
01:20:42.750 --> 01:20:45.199
The last thing I remember is eating marmalade and singing
2149
01:20:45.220 --> 01:20:49.140
The Music Man, a thing I've never heard. And so
2150
01:20:49.220 --> 01:20:51.659
I was like, how is it possible that I know this?
2151
01:20:52.180 --> 01:20:54.159
You cannot drive and do a patter song at the
2152
01:20:54.180 --> 01:20:56.239
same time. That is too dangerous. You don't have the
2153
01:20:56.279 --> 01:20:57.000
breath for it.
2154
01:20:57.039 --> 01:20:58.510
And that's my big takeaway.
2155
01:20:58.890 --> 01:21:01.090
Yeah, that was impressive. I gotta say, I think you
2156
01:21:01.130 --> 01:21:04.390
have it. And quite honestly... We need to find a
2157
01:21:04.449 --> 01:21:05.949
place for you in showbiz because.
2158
01:21:06.109 --> 01:21:08.840
No, my brain is uniquely broken. This is not good.
2159
01:21:09.060 --> 01:21:09.619
You're convinced.
2160
01:21:09.840 --> 01:21:11.619
I think, though, next time I see a musical, I
2161
01:21:11.640 --> 01:21:14.479
hope it's one person. I think dividing it up over
2162
01:21:14.520 --> 01:21:15.600
lots of people's cheating.
2163
01:21:15.649 --> 01:21:16.359
Yeah.
2164
01:21:16.510 --> 01:21:19.010
Like, I've seen musicals with, like, little kids where they
2165
01:21:19.050 --> 01:21:21.890
give one part to two kids and they simultaneously say
2166
01:21:21.949 --> 01:21:24.289
every line. Yeah, who cares? Let them, you know... Let
2167
01:21:24.310 --> 01:21:25.909
me see one girl do all of Annie.
2168
01:21:26.100 --> 01:21:26.979
Yes. Yeah.
2169
01:21:27.819 --> 01:21:28.340
Oh, my God.
2170
01:21:28.359 --> 01:21:28.739
Oh, my God.
2171
01:21:28.800 --> 01:21:32.420
Is that your dream? To do Miss Hannigan, Annie, Rooster?
2172
01:21:32.439 --> 01:21:33.520
Oh, my God.
2173
01:21:33.560 --> 01:21:37.869
Father Warbucks. Oh, Father Warbucks. But to me, I have respect.
2174
01:21:38.789 --> 01:21:40.829
He's a priest in the Irish version of Annie, if
2175
01:21:40.850 --> 01:21:41.569
I remember correctly.
2176
01:21:41.609 --> 01:21:42.930
He's not a billionaire magnet?
2177
01:21:42.989 --> 01:21:45.729
The original version's Irish, and it's a lot of Catholic priests.
2178
01:21:46.069 --> 01:21:47.770
Sort of dated badly and got taken out.
2179
01:21:47.810 --> 01:21:51.020
And Annie's a nun? Annie's a nun. It's Father Warbucks.
2180
01:21:51.199 --> 01:21:56.630
It's a priest who adopts a nun. I'd see it, honestly.
2181
01:21:56.670 --> 01:21:57.810
She inspires the Queen.
2182
01:21:58.050 --> 01:21:58.909
Yeah, oh my gosh.
2183
01:21:58.949 --> 01:21:59.229
Wow.
2184
01:21:59.369 --> 01:22:01.489
I love the Irish version of Annie. I love the
2185
01:22:01.569 --> 01:22:02.869
Irish version of all the musicals.
2186
01:22:03.050 --> 01:22:05.069
Yeah, and she has red hair, so that, you know.
2187
01:22:05.340 --> 01:22:06.229
Fits great. Yeah.
2188
01:22:06.350 --> 01:22:11.079
And no one in Ireland before 1960 had pupils. So
2189
01:22:11.100 --> 01:22:12.319
that fit great for the time.
2190
01:22:13.090 --> 01:22:17.310
I mean, look, Louie, you got the goods. Your parents
2191
01:22:17.350 --> 01:22:17.850
are wrong.
2192
01:22:18.050 --> 01:22:20.789
No, they're right. No. I see now that they're right.
2193
01:22:20.930 --> 01:22:24.010
We've seen it right before our very eyes. You're a star.
2194
01:22:24.090 --> 01:22:24.949
You're a star.
2195
01:22:25.109 --> 01:22:27.899
There's absolutely no market for a person that can do
2196
01:22:27.939 --> 01:22:29.119
the entire opening number.
2197
01:22:29.140 --> 01:22:31.039
I wouldn't say no. But you're a bird. You're not
2198
01:22:31.079 --> 01:22:31.340
a person.
2199
01:22:31.359 --> 01:22:33.140
There is a market for a bird that can do it.
2200
01:22:33.220 --> 01:22:35.720
Yeah. That's right. The mere fact that you're a bird
2201
01:22:35.739 --> 01:22:37.020
and you're talking to us right now.
2202
01:22:37.359 --> 01:22:37.579
Yeah.
2203
01:22:37.939 --> 01:22:38.239
I mean.
2204
01:22:38.579 --> 01:22:39.899
That alone. You just need.
2205
01:22:39.960 --> 01:22:41.609
Yeah, you could tour as a stand up.
2206
01:22:41.760 --> 01:22:45.960
Yeah. What you need is representation. A good manager believes
2207
01:22:46.000 --> 01:22:47.800
in you. Are you? Are you?
2208
01:22:48.189 --> 01:22:50.989
I mean, I am a bit of an administrator, so
2209
01:22:51.270 --> 01:22:53.970
I could get you booked at Grumbledon. We've got a
2210
01:22:54.010 --> 01:22:54.649
great theater.
2211
01:22:54.850 --> 01:22:57.510
You think I could do Ghost Choice in Grumbledon?
2212
01:22:58.609 --> 01:23:01.630
Well, I'd love to. What about acting? Yeah. I was
2213
01:23:01.649 --> 01:23:03.810
thinking we'd get you in a play. You downgraded yourself
2214
01:23:03.850 --> 01:23:06.270
to just tour guide? I'd put you in a musical,
2215
01:23:06.289 --> 01:23:08.270
but sure, you can help me run ghost tours.
2216
01:23:08.430 --> 01:23:09.550
Yeah, I think I could do that.
2217
01:23:09.710 --> 01:23:12.590
It'd be easier for me to teach you. I mean,
2218
01:23:13.510 --> 01:23:14.640
this is part of the problem. You don't have the
2219
01:23:14.680 --> 01:23:16.659
confidence to say, like, I want to be an actor.
2220
01:23:16.680 --> 01:23:18.739
You're already just saying I'll be a tour guide.
2221
01:23:19.020 --> 01:23:20.859
That seems like the most important thing that he was
2222
01:23:20.920 --> 01:23:22.340
talking about earlier was how he was a tour guide.
2223
01:23:22.399 --> 01:23:24.539
That is my thing, but if you come all the
2224
01:23:24.560 --> 01:23:26.720
way to Grumbledome, I'll get you a show.
2225
01:23:27.680 --> 01:23:29.920
We had a great theater. Yeah, you could do the
2226
01:23:30.220 --> 01:23:32.479
Edinburgh Fringe Fest or something, you know?
2227
01:23:32.539 --> 01:23:33.819
And then you could be on all those sort of
2228
01:23:33.859 --> 01:23:36.060
British kind of game shows.
2229
01:23:36.119 --> 01:23:37.619
Oh, like Would I Lie to You?
2230
01:23:37.659 --> 01:23:38.460
Yeah, exactly.
2231
01:23:38.779 --> 01:23:40.000
You could be on Taskmaster.
2232
01:23:40.100 --> 01:23:41.960
You'd be great on those. Yeah, Would I Lie to
2233
01:23:41.979 --> 01:23:44.079
You where you tell stories about being a bird? I mean,
2234
01:23:44.140 --> 01:23:46.899
who knows if you're lying or not? Oh, yeah.
2235
01:23:46.960 --> 01:23:49.100
David and Lee, Matt. Like, I feel like I could
2236
01:23:49.149 --> 01:23:50.319
really hang with those guys.
2237
01:23:50.470 --> 01:23:53.609
What's the 10 cats one in Countdown or something like that?
2238
01:23:53.789 --> 01:23:55.409
Yeah. 10 cats beats Countdown.
2239
01:23:55.489 --> 01:23:59.430
Yes. A... Bird from Boston on a British panel show.
2240
01:23:59.630 --> 01:24:01.430
They'd love it. They'd love it.
2241
01:24:01.710 --> 01:24:01.909
Yeah.
2242
01:24:02.149 --> 01:24:02.529
All right.
2243
01:24:02.810 --> 01:24:03.109
You know what?
2244
01:24:03.170 --> 01:24:04.770
I'm going to give it one more shot, Scott.
2245
01:24:04.890 --> 01:24:05.369
One more shot.
2246
01:24:05.409 --> 01:24:06.350
And if it doesn't work.
2247
01:24:06.609 --> 01:24:08.899
I have no hope. I did book you to run
2248
01:24:09.029 --> 01:24:12.270
one tour just now. Just when you said you'd do it.
2249
01:24:12.600 --> 01:24:14.000
So you had to stop by Grummeldom and.
2250
01:24:13.960 --> 01:24:15.039
Just do one tour. I got booked.
2251
01:24:15.380 --> 01:24:16.239
I don't have to move home.
2252
01:24:16.279 --> 01:24:18.800
I got booked. You got booked doing a ghost tour.
2253
01:24:18.920 --> 01:24:19.260
I booked.
2254
01:24:19.300 --> 01:24:19.439
Yeah.
2255
01:24:19.979 --> 01:24:20.460
Oh, my God.
2256
01:24:20.479 --> 01:24:23.630
I would like to thank God, obviously. I'd like to
2257
01:24:23.649 --> 01:24:25.850
thank my parents for not believing in me.
2258
01:24:25.869 --> 01:24:29.289
It'll help my business if people come to see ghosts.
2259
01:24:29.350 --> 01:24:31.189
It's like, not only that, a talking bird is going
2260
01:24:31.220 --> 01:24:34.199
to walk you through it. Yeah. Yeah. I would see that.
2261
01:24:34.340 --> 01:24:36.399
That's amazing. Well, congratulations. You booked.
2262
01:24:36.579 --> 01:24:36.819
Yes.
2263
01:24:37.180 --> 01:24:38.979
And Scott, next time I see you, I will have
2264
01:24:39.000 --> 01:24:39.260
an Emmy.
2265
01:24:40.350 --> 01:24:42.909
I like that manifesting. One of your own?
2266
01:24:43.289 --> 01:24:44.609
Oh, no, I'll steal an Emmy.
2267
01:24:44.630 --> 01:24:46.670
Just a plaque that says thank you for contributing to
2268
01:24:46.710 --> 01:24:48.850
this Emmy.
2269
01:24:48.930 --> 01:24:51.670
Well, guys, we are running out of time. We only
2270
01:24:51.689 --> 01:24:53.899
have time, really, for one final feature on the show,
2271
01:24:54.069 --> 01:24:56.619
and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.
2272
01:24:57.739 --> 01:25:01.800
Please read the notice on the podcast door.
2273
01:25:02.880 --> 01:25:06.560
When it's time to speak your plugs, please don't be
2274
01:25:06.640 --> 01:25:07.199
a bore.
2275
01:25:08.390 --> 01:25:10.489
Keep them quick and simple.
2276
01:25:11.130 --> 01:25:13.710
Make your meaning clear.
2277
01:25:13.869 --> 01:25:15.390
Now it's time.
2278
01:25:14.970 --> 01:25:16.350
To speak your plug.
2279
01:25:16.689 --> 01:25:18.449
Now the moment's here.
2280
01:25:19.430 --> 01:25:21.189
Now the moment's here.
2281
01:25:24.050 --> 01:25:24.329
All right.
2282
01:25:24.369 --> 01:25:27.350
That was Heart of the Plug Bag by Hallelujah Ape.
2283
01:25:27.949 --> 01:25:30.170
Thanks to Hallelujah Ape. If you have a plugs theme,
2284
01:25:30.210 --> 01:25:33.029
head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and you can upload
2285
01:25:33.050 --> 01:25:35.189
them there and find everything you need. to make the
2286
01:25:35.229 --> 01:25:38.170
remixes for our closing themes. And, uh, Eugene, what are
2287
01:25:38.189 --> 01:25:38.850
we plugging here?
2288
01:25:39.250 --> 01:25:41.510
My special here comes the whimsy. Yeah. Yeah.
2289
01:25:41.850 --> 01:25:44.670
And, uh, I mean, that's the newest thing you have
2290
01:25:44.750 --> 01:25:45.109
out there.
2291
01:25:45.130 --> 01:25:45.369
Sure.
2292
01:25:45.470 --> 01:25:48.270
You could go and investigate all of Eugene's career. Sure.
2293
01:25:48.489 --> 01:25:51.350
But, uh, feel free to listen to other standup of mine.
2294
01:25:51.380 --> 01:25:51.569
Yeah.
2295
01:25:51.600 --> 01:25:53.939
You'll probably be interested after you watch here comes the whimsy.
2296
01:25:54.039 --> 01:25:54.560
Exactly.
2297
01:25:54.840 --> 01:25:58.579
Um, and then Bob's burgers is still on Sundays. Sundays.
2298
01:25:58.680 --> 01:25:59.020
Yeah.
2299
01:25:59.060 --> 01:26:00.060
I think it's, it's back.
2300
01:26:00.100 --> 01:26:00.300
Yeah.
2301
01:26:00.340 --> 01:26:02.199
The spring, meaning it started back up.
2302
01:26:02.380 --> 01:26:04.229
New episodes back up again. New episodes airing now. Yes.
2303
01:26:04.439 --> 01:26:04.659
Great.
2304
01:26:04.939 --> 01:26:07.539
And how far ahead are you? Are you like two
2305
01:26:07.579 --> 01:26:09.359
years in the future? You've already recorded?
2306
01:26:09.399 --> 01:26:12.560
I think we generally are working on the following, the
2307
01:26:12.600 --> 01:26:13.020
next year.
2308
01:26:13.050 --> 01:26:13.850
Fantastic.
2309
01:26:13.899 --> 01:26:15.829
So I think that, yeah, it takes probably about a
2310
01:26:15.869 --> 01:26:16.789
year to make an episode.
2311
01:26:16.909 --> 01:26:17.189
Wow.
2312
01:26:17.210 --> 01:26:17.909
Or something like that.
2313
01:26:18.069 --> 01:26:21.569
Such a good show. And we're glad you're here. And
2314
01:26:21.909 --> 01:26:24.909
let's move on to Devin Greenlove. Devin, what do you
2315
01:26:24.930 --> 01:26:25.329
want to plug?
2316
01:26:25.550 --> 01:26:28.409
Well, I'd love to plug McGull's Tours. If you're on Grumbledome,
2317
01:26:28.970 --> 01:26:31.569
far west of Ireland, please look up Devin Greenglove for
2318
01:26:31.609 --> 01:26:32.029
me tours.
2319
01:26:32.850 --> 01:26:35.029
There's got to be a better way to direct people
2320
01:26:35.050 --> 01:26:39.430
to your business. Look up Devin Greenglove once you get there.
2321
01:26:39.510 --> 01:26:42.270
Look up my name and then see if people have
2322
01:26:42.649 --> 01:26:45.489
talked about me and hopefully they'll have a link. I
2323
01:26:45.529 --> 01:26:47.829
don't have a website. I'm just saying before people plan
2324
01:26:47.850 --> 01:26:50.720
to already go there, maybe they could buy tickets. I
2325
01:26:51.439 --> 01:26:53.000
don't give a shit. You go ahead.
2326
01:26:53.420 --> 01:26:55.760
And then also, let's see.
2327
01:26:56.020 --> 01:26:58.260
Oh, how about a podcast?
2328
01:26:58.460 --> 01:26:58.899
Screw it.
2329
01:26:59.020 --> 01:27:02.329
We're just going to talk about the Beatles. hosted by
2330
01:27:02.369 --> 01:27:06.350
Will Hines and some others, which is exactly as you'd expect.
2331
01:27:06.430 --> 01:27:09.640
People talking about the Beatles, mostly saying they were good.
2332
01:27:09.659 --> 01:27:12.300
I believe I was just on this show recently. You
2333
01:27:12.340 --> 01:27:14.739
were just on. I heard your episode where you talked
2334
01:27:14.760 --> 01:27:18.939
about Paul McCartney. Yes. And you were great on it.
2335
01:27:19.079 --> 01:27:21.020
Thank you. There is a compliment that I was going
2336
01:27:21.039 --> 01:27:21.560
to thank you for.
2337
01:27:21.640 --> 01:27:24.279
So yeah, we got cool stuff like, they got cool
2338
01:27:24.300 --> 01:27:24.880
stuff like that.
2339
01:27:25.140 --> 01:27:26.899
What did you say your favorite Beatles song was?
2340
01:27:27.100 --> 01:27:29.810
Oh, do you have one? That never came up, actually.
2341
01:27:29.829 --> 01:27:30.130
I don't think.
2342
01:27:30.149 --> 01:27:30.850
What's your favorite?
2343
01:27:32.350 --> 01:27:34.550
It's definitely not the one that the Beatles cover band
2344
01:27:34.590 --> 01:27:37.350
would start their sets with when I worked at Cafe
2345
01:27:37.390 --> 01:27:40.729
Cordial back in the 90s. This happened once before. That's
2346
01:27:40.760 --> 01:27:43.260
my least favorite. Because that would tell me, oh boy,
2347
01:27:43.340 --> 01:27:46.340
I'm in for the long haul. Um, I don't know.
2348
01:27:46.359 --> 01:27:48.500
I'll have to get back to those particular people on
2349
01:27:48.539 --> 01:27:50.229
their own show. Can't wait to hear about it.
2350
01:27:50.239 --> 01:27:50.479
Yes.
2351
01:27:50.869 --> 01:27:52.829
Um, and Louis Pentano, what are you plugging?
2352
01:27:53.279 --> 01:27:55.439
Uh, obviously check me out in the ghost tour. Um,
2353
01:27:57.060 --> 01:27:59.659
I just, uh, received word that I get to be
2354
01:27:59.720 --> 01:28:02.619
the floating juice tray that we use to trick the tourists.
2355
01:28:02.739 --> 01:28:02.899
Hey.
2356
01:28:03.119 --> 01:28:03.279
What?
2357
01:28:03.319 --> 01:28:03.550
Sorry.
2358
01:28:03.739 --> 01:28:07.189
That's a private text just to me and you, Louie. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
2359
01:28:07.210 --> 01:28:10.829
I'm so sorry. Don't you worry about it. This Patty Greenleaf.
2360
01:28:10.850 --> 01:28:12.869
The floating juice tray is fake?
2361
01:28:13.050 --> 01:28:13.789
No, not always.
2362
01:28:13.909 --> 01:28:15.189
No, no, no. Not always?
2363
01:28:15.250 --> 01:28:17.109
No, they get a bird to carry it. So it's
2364
01:28:17.140 --> 01:28:17.479
not fake.
2365
01:28:18.979 --> 01:28:21.579
Oh, no wonder you perked up when we said there'd
2366
01:28:21.600 --> 01:28:23.899
be a bird on the show. No, no, sometimes.
2367
01:28:25.039 --> 01:28:27.140
I'd also like to plug Hey Riddle Riddle. It's a
2368
01:28:27.180 --> 01:28:30.600
riddle podcast. If you're interested in that sort of thing.
2369
01:28:30.619 --> 01:28:33.390
I have not recovered from doing that opening.
2370
01:28:33.409 --> 01:28:35.270
Okay, yeah, just take it easy.
2371
01:28:35.340 --> 01:28:36.680
I genuinely feel lightheaded.
2372
01:28:36.699 --> 01:28:37.239
Take it easy.
2373
01:28:37.260 --> 01:28:39.180
We'll get you some juice. Don't worry.
2374
01:28:39.220 --> 01:28:41.979
My heart beating in my chin, which has never happened.
2375
01:28:41.699 --> 01:28:44.460
To me before. Oh my gosh. Well, I want to plug, hey,
2376
01:28:44.479 --> 01:28:47.649
the Comedy Bang Bang Tour starts a week from today.
2377
01:28:47.659 --> 01:28:50.649
Sounds great. If you can imagine, it starts May 25
2378
01:28:50.649 --> 01:28:51.029
in Toronto.
2379
01:28:51.050 --> 01:28:51.329
Yeah.
2380
01:28:54.109 --> 01:28:57.489
And then we continue around the Midwest for a couple
2381
01:28:57.510 --> 01:28:57.850
of weeks.
2382
01:28:58.029 --> 01:28:58.229
St.
2383
01:28:58.289 --> 01:29:03.329
Paul, Madison, Chicago, Grand Rapids, Royal Oak, Columbus, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, St. Louis,
2384
01:29:03.369 --> 01:29:09.649
Kansas City. And then we go to the South, Atlanta, Nashville, Charleston, Durham.
2385
01:29:09.689 --> 01:29:15.760
And then we go back East, Washington, D.C., New York, Philadelphia, Boston, Fairfield, Connecticut, Portland, Maine.
2386
01:29:16.239 --> 01:29:18.239
And then we're going to the U.K., if you can
2387
01:29:18.279 --> 01:29:19.640
believe it, and Ireland.
2388
01:29:19.659 --> 01:29:19.739
Yeah.
2389
01:29:20.199 --> 01:29:23.800
And then we go to the West Coast and then
2390
01:29:24.180 --> 01:29:28.060
we go to the Southwest. And then, boy, howdy, we're
2391
01:29:28.119 --> 01:29:31.500
in Los Angeles by September 19th. September 19th show just
2392
01:29:31.539 --> 01:29:34.479
went on sale on Friday. So tickets are probably still
2393
01:29:34.520 --> 01:29:37.949
on sale for that. That one has Hey Randy, the
2394
01:29:37.989 --> 01:29:42.460
Hey Randy podcast with Randy Snuts opening for us. And
2395
01:29:42.739 --> 01:29:44.000
these are all going to be a really good time.
2396
01:29:44.060 --> 01:29:47.010
It's Paul F. Tompkins, myself, and a rotating cast of
2397
01:29:47.069 --> 01:29:49.189
the Comedy Bang Bang All-Stars. We're going to all be
2398
01:29:49.289 --> 01:29:53.989
out there entertaining America and beyond. So I hope... You
2399
01:29:54.020 --> 01:29:57.720
come out and see us. Tickets are available over at cbbworld.com
2400
01:29:57.739 --> 01:30:00.619
slash tour. And while you're over at CBB World, check
2401
01:30:00.699 --> 01:30:03.159
out everything we have over there, including the aforementioned Hey
2402
01:30:03.199 --> 01:30:06.539
Randy podcast, as well as shows like The Neighborhood Listen,
2403
01:30:07.439 --> 01:30:10.699
ad-free episodes of this show, the entire archive of Comedy
2404
01:30:10.739 --> 01:30:14.359
Bang Bang, all 900 and almost 1,000 episodes, plus every
2405
01:30:14.399 --> 01:30:18.279
live show we've ever done. It's really good stuff over there.
2406
01:30:18.340 --> 01:30:19.979
All right, let's close up the old plug bag.
2407
01:30:24.600 --> 01:30:24.739
Wow.
2408
01:30:53.109 --> 01:30:56.189
How crazy that you mentioned Aerosmith. Is this like our
2409
01:30:56.270 --> 01:30:59.069
computers listening to us and making plug themes? I don't know,
2410
01:30:59.180 --> 01:31:00.479
but you mentioned Aerosmith.
2411
01:31:00.560 --> 01:31:00.779
Yeah.
2412
01:31:01.090 --> 01:31:04.550
That was Sweet Chat Emotion by Bernswee. Thank you to Bernswee.
2413
01:31:04.829 --> 01:31:08.010
And speaking of thank you, thanks to all of my guests. Eugene,
2414
01:31:08.630 --> 01:31:10.350
so glad you're still with us and so glad that
2415
01:31:10.409 --> 01:31:15.489
I could see you one last time. This concludes our friendship.
2416
01:31:16.930 --> 01:31:17.710
It was really a pleasure.
2417
01:31:18.250 --> 01:31:25.350
Wonderful to have you on the show. And Devin Greenlove. Hello.
2418
01:31:25.649 --> 01:31:29.029
What can one say about Devin Greenlove? Was I interesting
2419
01:31:29.090 --> 01:31:33.199
or not? Be honest. The fact that you're cheating the
2420
01:31:33.239 --> 01:31:35.079
people who take your tours and having a floating... That's
2421
01:31:35.100 --> 01:31:38.670
not true. Not always true. 90% of the time the
2422
01:31:38.750 --> 01:31:40.189
tray is... At least.
2423
01:31:40.310 --> 01:31:42.340
I think it's impressive that you can train birds to
2424
01:31:42.420 --> 01:31:43.039
carry a tray.
2425
01:31:43.239 --> 01:31:43.560
Thank you.
2426
01:31:43.720 --> 01:31:45.920
Other than the birds that are obviously centered enough to
2427
01:31:45.960 --> 01:31:46.479
do it on their own.
2428
01:31:46.640 --> 01:31:49.319
I got fired. Devin already fired me over text.
2429
01:31:49.380 --> 01:31:51.840
What? Louis, Louis Pintano, thanks for being here. What happened?
2430
01:31:51.859 --> 01:31:53.819
How did Devin already fire you?
2431
01:31:54.060 --> 01:31:56.149
I just lost my dream job because apparently you're not
2432
01:31:56.170 --> 01:31:57.550
supposed to tell company secrets.
2433
01:31:57.930 --> 01:31:59.090
Oh, you broke the NDA?
2434
01:31:59.250 --> 01:31:59.630
I did.
2435
01:31:59.670 --> 01:32:03.010
That's right. Oh, no. I hate to do it. So sorry.
2436
01:32:03.250 --> 01:32:06.020
I'm so sorry. I guess, are your dreams of show
2437
01:32:06.060 --> 01:32:06.920
business dashed?
2438
01:32:06.960 --> 01:32:09.619
Yeah, back to square one. I'm just gonna.
2439
01:32:09.640 --> 01:32:11.760
You can't even say square one. You're so out of breath.
2440
01:32:11.779 --> 01:32:14.890
I can't even say... I genuinely am never doing that again.
2441
01:32:16.270 --> 01:32:16.850
In your life?
2442
01:32:17.010 --> 01:32:19.930
In my life. That took years off my life.
2443
01:32:20.029 --> 01:32:22.510
I don't know. I think if you ever pop up
2444
01:32:22.569 --> 01:32:27.840
on the Comedy Bang Bang Tour, it may be a request. Oh, God.
2445
01:32:27.939 --> 01:32:28.300
Oh, no.
2446
01:32:28.319 --> 01:32:30.359
I have to start working out for that.
2447
01:32:30.439 --> 01:32:35.699
Jesus Christ. All right. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye.
2448
01:32:37.199 --> 01:32:41.020
Treacherous ring roads lie ahead on our mission to reach Nana's.
2449
01:32:41.439 --> 01:32:44.470
Go to Mackey's for black pepper and garlic McNuggets.
2450
01:32:44.909 --> 01:32:46.090
Navigation rerouting.
2451
01:32:46.890 --> 01:32:49.630
The main mission can wait. Take a side mission to McDonald's.
2452
01:32:51.260 --> 01:32:53.979
Available until the 29th of September from 11am. Wasdox last.
2453
01:32:54.000 --> 01:32:55.720
Subject to availability. Participation varies.
2454
01:32:55.939 --> 01:32:59.340
Running a business isn't easy, but accessing support should be.
2455
01:32:59.800 --> 01:33:03.140
The National Enterprise Hub is a free service that simplifies
2456
01:33:03.300 --> 01:33:07.550
access to business supports. With over 250 supports in one place,
2457
01:33:07.930 --> 01:33:11.529
it's easier than ever to find grants, advice, training and more.
2458
01:33:12.130 --> 01:33:14.609
And don't worry about not knowing what you need. Our
2459
01:33:14.649 --> 01:33:16.949
helpful team will guide you every step of the way.
2460
01:33:16.970 --> 01:33:21.680
Visit neh.gov.ie to learn how we can help. The National
2461
01:33:21.760 --> 01:33:23.920
Enterprise Hub. Support starts here.
2462
01:33:24.119 --> 01:33:24.920
An initiative of the.
2463
01:33:24.899 --> 01:33:25.720
Government of Ireland.
2464
01:33:26.840 --> 01:33:29.310
Visiting the farm in County Monaghan, where M & S
2465
01:33:29.350 --> 01:33:32.489
sources Irish oakum gold chicken, the first thing that struck
2466
01:33:32.529 --> 01:33:36.909
me was care. Slower reared, fed a multi-grain diet, and
2467
01:33:36.930 --> 01:33:39.350
given the time it needs for proper flavour to develop.
2468
01:33:40.050 --> 01:33:43.579
That patience, well, you taste it. This is not just food,
2469
01:33:44.060 --> 01:33:45.020
this is M & S food.
1
00:00:00.270 --> 00:00:02.990
The Chemist's Warehouse Fall Frenzy Mega Sale is now live.
2
00:00:03.129 --> 00:00:05.410
Find up to half price off RRP on big brands
3
00:00:05.549 --> 00:00:08.630
like John Frieda, Batiste and Aussie Hair Care or Solgar,
4
00:00:08.650 --> 00:00:11.000
Meet Today and Chewy Vites Vitamins. And find up to
5
00:00:11.039 --> 00:00:15.160
half price off RRP on Emco Beauty, W7 and Rimmel Cosmetics.
6
00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:18.420
But hurry, sale must end September 20. Chemist's Warehouse, great
7
00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:19.600
savings every day.
8
00:00:21.480 --> 00:00:25.309
Treacherous ring roads lie ahead on our mission to reach Nana's.
9
00:00:25.690 --> 00:00:26.070
We must.
10
00:00:26.089 --> 00:00:28.730
Go to Mackey's for black pepper and garlic McNuggets.
11
00:00:29.149 --> 00:00:30.329
Navigation rerouting.
12
00:00:31.129 --> 00:00:33.909
The main mission can wait. Take a side mission to McDonald's.
13
00:00:35.509 --> 00:00:38.250
Available until the 29th of September from 11am. Wasdux last.
14
00:00:38.270 --> 00:00:39.990
Subject to availability. Participation varies.
15
00:00:41.109 --> 00:00:45.520
Comedy bang bang. Comedy bang bang.
16
00:00:45.530 --> 00:00:46.490
Comedy bang bang.
17
00:00:46.530 --> 00:00:47.420
Comedy bang bang.
18
00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:48.500
Comedy bang bang.
19
00:00:48.539 --> 00:00:49.159
Comedy bang bang.
20
00:01:05.409 --> 00:01:07.790
She sells big bells by the bell store and my
21
00:01:07.989 --> 00:01:11.950
ears are ringing. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you
22
00:01:11.989 --> 00:01:15.010
to Attila the Hyundai. Is that how you pronounce that?
23
00:01:15.090 --> 00:01:16.790
Hyundai. Yes.
24
00:01:17.370 --> 00:01:20.430
Thank you very much. You're my fact checker for today's episode. Yes.
25
00:01:20.650 --> 00:01:22.730
A lot of times I'll say stuff that I get
26
00:01:22.829 --> 00:01:23.709
details wrong.
27
00:01:23.989 --> 00:01:24.170
Yeah.
28
00:01:24.390 --> 00:01:26.640
I mispronounce words. I need you here for me today.
29
00:01:26.819 --> 00:01:28.099
Okay. I'll validate it all.
30
00:01:28.379 --> 00:01:29.939
Okay. Fantastic. I love this.
31
00:01:30.180 --> 00:01:30.359
Yeah.
32
00:01:30.659 --> 00:01:32.280
Just tell me I'm right even if I'm wrong. That's
33
00:01:32.299 --> 00:01:32.900
what I really want.
34
00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:35.799
Yeah. More importantly, I won't look into it.
35
00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:39.170
Okay. I appreciate this. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for
36
00:01:39.209 --> 00:01:41.450
another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have an
37
00:01:41.510 --> 00:01:43.450
exceptional show coming up a little later. We have a
38
00:01:43.489 --> 00:01:52.849
ghost expert... We also have a bird. A ghost expert
39
00:01:52.870 --> 00:01:55.170
and a bird coming up a little later on the show.
40
00:01:55.250 --> 00:02:00.109
But let's get to the person whose dulcet tones you
41
00:02:00.150 --> 00:02:03.269
just heard. One of the deeper voices in comedy. Would
42
00:02:03.290 --> 00:02:03.689
you agree?
43
00:02:05.189 --> 00:02:05.409
Sure.
44
00:02:05.430 --> 00:02:08.689
Are you going to fact check this? Yeah, I don't know.
45
00:02:08.729 --> 00:02:12.000
I mean, I'm not going to. Yeah, do the tones
46
00:02:12.060 --> 00:02:14.219
of everyone's voice and then be like, oh, I am
47
00:02:14.280 --> 00:02:14.879
the deepest.
48
00:02:15.460 --> 00:02:16.300
Tell me someone deeper.
49
00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:19.000
I don't know because of how I don't have a
50
00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:20.060
list of deep voice.
51
00:02:21.020 --> 00:02:24.280
But I mean, like, can you think of anyone who's,
52
00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:26.419
you know, like if this were an acapella group, you
53
00:02:26.460 --> 00:02:28.330
would all know exactly where you fit in.
54
00:02:28.370 --> 00:02:28.810
Yeah.
55
00:02:29.219 --> 00:02:31.870
You know, comedy is certainly not an acapella group. That's
56
00:02:31.909 --> 00:02:32.469
not what I'm saying.
57
00:02:32.509 --> 00:02:34.349
No, but let me think if I can think of
58
00:02:34.389 --> 00:02:37.289
someone with a... a deeper voice but it's being you
59
00:02:37.310 --> 00:02:39.780
mean specifically of course a stand-up with a deeper voice.
60
00:02:39.599 --> 00:02:41.919
Yes exactly yeah or i guess.
61
00:02:41.960 --> 00:02:44.800
What if i'm the deepest voiced stand-up.
62
00:02:44.199 --> 00:02:46.879
You might be i can't think of a single other one.
63
00:02:46.860 --> 00:02:48.819
All right like you know what i don't know why
64
00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:50.629
i i will i will take that.
65
00:02:50.969 --> 00:02:53.909
Imitate another comedian i'll just uh throw me yeah yeah
66
00:02:53.969 --> 00:02:54.610
eddie murphy.
67
00:02:54.550 --> 00:03:00.379
Go uh hi i'm eddie murphy i am in a
68
00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:05.180
tight tight red suit and i guess is that a
69
00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:08.539
would you describe my impression as dead on you know
70
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:11.189
how most comedians simply describe what they're wearing and then
71
00:03:11.210 --> 00:03:14.550
go home you have a good night everyone yeah yeah
72
00:03:14.569 --> 00:03:17.469
i'm i'm america's deepest voiced comedian i think you might
73
00:03:17.500 --> 00:03:19.340
put that on like a like a now a funny
74
00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:21.539
headshot where i have like a chef's hat.
75
00:03:21.560 --> 00:03:25.919
Yes Um, and like maybe a little version of you
76
00:03:25.979 --> 00:03:28.219
peeking out from underneath the chef's hat, like a Latatouille,
77
00:03:28.259 --> 00:03:29.430
but you're just like.
78
00:03:29.370 --> 00:03:30.110
A miniature you.
79
00:03:30.150 --> 00:03:30.949
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
80
00:03:31.250 --> 00:03:31.789
A little me.
81
00:03:31.810 --> 00:03:33.330
That needs no explanation, right?
82
00:03:33.650 --> 00:03:33.930
No, no.
83
00:03:34.189 --> 00:03:35.849
People know the show they're getting when they go see
84
00:03:35.889 --> 00:03:36.569
that comic live.
85
00:03:37.930 --> 00:03:41.250
Um, he is a stand-up comedian, as mentioned. He is
86
00:03:41.509 --> 00:03:46.280
an actor. He has a new special called Here Comes
87
00:03:46.360 --> 00:03:49.879
the Whimsy, which is out now on YouTube. Please welcome
88
00:03:49.900 --> 00:03:52.000
back to the show Eugene Merman, one of the titans
89
00:03:52.039 --> 00:03:52.580
of comedy.
90
00:03:52.740 --> 00:03:53.199
Hello.
91
00:03:53.219 --> 00:03:54.780
Hello.
92
00:03:55.419 --> 00:03:57.319
Did you remember you're one of the titans of comedy?
93
00:03:57.879 --> 00:03:58.520
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
94
00:03:58.979 --> 00:04:01.099
Yes. Who are the others? It was Anthony Jeselnik.
95
00:04:02.020 --> 00:04:02.360
It is.
96
00:04:03.319 --> 00:04:08.219
Yes. It's basically me and then people who have very
97
00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:10.599
beautifully crafted dark one-liners.
98
00:04:11.189 --> 00:04:13.849
Yes, it was. I'm looking at the episode now. This
99
00:04:13.939 --> 00:04:18.639
is an episode from March 7, 2013. Uh-huh. And it
100
00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:20.699
is Anthony Jeselnik, Nathan Fielder.
101
00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:21.120
And you.
102
00:04:21.519 --> 00:04:21.720
Yeah.
103
00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:24.079
Are the Titans of Comedy. We branded you as the
104
00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:24.920
Titans of Comedy.
105
00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:25.439
Excellent.
106
00:04:25.779 --> 00:04:26.500
That is excellent.
107
00:04:26.519 --> 00:04:27.180
I am in great company.
108
00:04:27.220 --> 00:04:28.860
Have you guys been touring together?
109
00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:30.079
No, but I would.
110
00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:31.160
They're wonderful.
111
00:04:31.180 --> 00:04:31.899
They're fantastic.
112
00:04:31.959 --> 00:04:32.300
Yes.
113
00:04:32.439 --> 00:04:33.519
I adore them.
114
00:04:33.660 --> 00:04:37.740
Eugene, welcome back to the show. Anything been going on
115
00:04:37.779 --> 00:04:38.040
with you?
116
00:04:39.629 --> 00:04:41.209
Nope, nothing in the news.
117
00:04:42.389 --> 00:04:44.569
Oh, that's not the answer I usually get when I
118
00:04:44.629 --> 00:04:46.949
ask a friend anything going on with you. Nothing in
119
00:04:46.970 --> 00:04:47.529
the news.
120
00:04:47.589 --> 00:04:49.740
That makes me feel like they're... Something in the news.
121
00:04:51.019 --> 00:04:54.079
I'm redoing the... I've been hired to redo the West
122
00:04:54.100 --> 00:04:55.360
Wing of the White House.
123
00:04:55.459 --> 00:04:56.079
Really?
124
00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:57.959
And here's the thing. I don't know what I'm doing.
125
00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:00.120
But he was at no bid contract.
126
00:05:00.790 --> 00:05:03.110
Yeah, no, I just got it. I just got it.
127
00:05:03.149 --> 00:05:06.509
Because I was like, I have an idea. No, what's
128
00:05:06.550 --> 00:05:08.430
going on with me? Well, I have a new special out.
129
00:05:08.610 --> 00:05:09.129
New special.
130
00:05:09.170 --> 00:05:14.319
Here comes the whimsy. And this details your life probably
131
00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:17.540
from birth up till about, what, a month or two ago?
132
00:05:17.959 --> 00:05:18.879
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.
133
00:05:19.060 --> 00:05:19.579
I mean, yeah.
134
00:05:20.040 --> 00:05:21.399
Taped it last year.
135
00:05:22.060 --> 00:05:26.560
Yeah. What is the date that your life took a
136
00:05:26.639 --> 00:05:27.519
radical left turn?
137
00:05:29.449 --> 00:05:30.420
March 31st, you mean?
138
00:05:30.449 --> 00:05:30.899
March 31st.
139
00:05:30.939 --> 00:05:31.240
Yes.
140
00:05:31.300 --> 00:05:32.019
That's right.
141
00:05:32.060 --> 00:05:32.420
Yes.
142
00:05:32.759 --> 00:05:33.680
The last day of March.
143
00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:34.819
The last day of March.
144
00:05:35.399 --> 00:05:35.639
Yeah.
145
00:05:36.259 --> 00:05:36.939
That's what you mean.
146
00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:40.339
They say beware the Ides of March, but you had
147
00:05:40.379 --> 00:05:42.480
to look out for 16 days after it.
148
00:05:42.930 --> 00:05:43.110
Yeah.
149
00:05:43.879 --> 00:05:44.680
Yes, exactly.
150
00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:48.240
Yes, I was in a terrible car accident.
151
00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:51.610
That is what I'm hinting around. That is, it made
152
00:05:52.089 --> 00:05:56.149
national headlines, perhaps even international headlines. Did you see any
153
00:05:56.189 --> 00:05:57.029
international headlines?
154
00:05:57.430 --> 00:05:58.790
I haven't.
155
00:05:58.889 --> 00:06:01.230
Probably. Eugene Marvin! Yes.
156
00:06:02.029 --> 00:06:02.750
Shaboom!
157
00:06:03.129 --> 00:06:07.029
Yes, yes, exactly. It was covered in all, in like,
158
00:06:07.149 --> 00:06:12.110
very fun... uh, like vibrant Italian press and a lot
159
00:06:12.149 --> 00:06:18.279
of like, Oh, mama mia. Yeah, exactly here. He's not
160
00:06:18.319 --> 00:06:22.149
the voice of Jean, but imagine if he was how,
161
00:06:22.170 --> 00:06:22.990
how sad that would be.
162
00:06:23.870 --> 00:06:24.329
Yeah.
163
00:06:24.470 --> 00:06:29.360
You, Eugene, if you don't know, if you're not out
164
00:06:29.379 --> 00:06:32.220
there scanning TMZ, the 30 mile zone, of course.
165
00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:33.519
Yeah.
166
00:06:34.120 --> 00:06:36.740
Or any of the national press, you may not know
167
00:06:36.860 --> 00:06:42.259
that on March 31st. Uh, Eugene, uh, Merman pulled what
168
00:06:42.279 --> 00:06:45.240
we like to call a Eugene Merman by... Yeah.
169
00:06:45.959 --> 00:06:47.860
It's like, it's terrible when you do a bit and
170
00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:49.339
you're like, I can't even explain it.
171
00:06:51.100 --> 00:06:56.360
By, uh, uh, uh, ramming his car. Ramming is fair
172
00:06:56.399 --> 00:06:56.980
to say, right?
173
00:06:57.079 --> 00:07:00.480
So, yeah, I mean, yes, it probably is. I, I drove,
174
00:07:00.860 --> 00:07:02.620
and again, I don't remember it, so I don't know
175
00:07:02.699 --> 00:07:07.269
if I was... uh, potentially like blacked out or unconscious.
176
00:07:07.310 --> 00:07:08.170
Or did it on purpose?
177
00:07:08.730 --> 00:07:08.949
No.
178
00:07:09.050 --> 00:07:09.209
Yeah.
179
00:07:09.269 --> 00:07:11.009
Yeah. So the chances of it being on purpose are,
180
00:07:11.449 --> 00:07:15.100
I would say very slight, like meaning I'm knowing your personality. So,
181
00:07:15.240 --> 00:07:18.180
so yeah. So like, and I talked to the policeman
182
00:07:18.199 --> 00:07:20.149
who saw the video of the toll booth and I,
183
00:07:20.220 --> 00:07:21.980
and I, and it sounds like the car.
184
00:07:21.699 --> 00:07:23.379
You rammed into a toll booth. Yes.
185
00:07:23.459 --> 00:07:23.689
Yes.
186
00:07:23.790 --> 00:07:26.329
Which look, here's the thing. A lot of people do
187
00:07:26.410 --> 00:07:29.050
ram into that toll booth, but not as many as don't.
188
00:07:30.870 --> 00:07:31.930
It's probably a.
189
00:07:31.829 --> 00:07:37.680
001 % Of cars That pass by it Many people
190
00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:41.959
pass by Some ram it Rarely in the afternoon Quickly
191
00:07:42.790 --> 00:07:45.360
So there's a version where I was either distracted or
192
00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:47.139
blacked out or something happened with the car like i
193
00:07:47.180 --> 00:07:48.819
don't know and i don't know that i'll ever and
194
00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:50.120
you spoke to.
195
00:07:50.040 --> 00:07:52.620
The policeman who saw the video you were saying yeah.
196
00:07:52.399 --> 00:07:53.949
And i spoke to him in general and he and
197
00:07:53.970 --> 00:07:55.449
i think in the hospital i'd said that i you
198
00:07:55.470 --> 00:07:57.509
know i remember looking at the map and you know
199
00:07:57.610 --> 00:07:59.670
i don't know if there's like a quick turn and
200
00:07:59.689 --> 00:08:01.750
it comes up quickly i don't really know do you.
201
00:08:01.709 --> 00:08:03.649
Think there was someone in the toll booth that you
202
00:08:03.670 --> 00:08:05.250
there's no person in the toll booth there's okay do
203
00:08:05.269 --> 00:08:06.790
you know it's an unmanned.
204
00:08:06.490 --> 00:08:10.029
Toll booth so i was the only one in it luckily.
205
00:08:09.829 --> 00:08:11.509
So it was not attempted murder.
206
00:08:12.079 --> 00:08:15.240
No, I wasn't mad at a tollbooth guy who'd really
207
00:08:15.300 --> 00:08:16.720
gotten me in 1981.
208
00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:19.639
And by the way, you are under oath.
209
00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:25.050
Yes, I figured. Podcasts traditionally are under oath. You brought
210
00:08:25.079 --> 00:08:27.610
your own book to.
211
00:08:27.610 --> 00:08:30.569
Do the oath on. This is the unbearable lightness of being?
212
00:08:30.689 --> 00:08:34.230
Yes, but that's what I do my oath on.
213
00:08:35.090 --> 00:08:38.059
So you ram into this tollbooth. That's not the end
214
00:08:38.080 --> 00:08:39.679
of the story because that would be the end of
215
00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:42.419
the story for a lot of people of like, oh, gosh,
216
00:08:42.559 --> 00:08:44.529
I got into a fender bender with this toll booth.
217
00:08:45.309 --> 00:08:48.649
You ram into the toll booth. You are unconscious. It
218
00:08:48.710 --> 00:08:52.450
perhaps makes you unconscious or perhaps you are unconscious beforehand.
219
00:08:52.470 --> 00:08:54.970
Well, it probably helps continue. Yes, it's unclear.
220
00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:57.580
Whether you passed out and that's what caused the accident.
221
00:08:57.600 --> 00:08:59.580
Briefly, like even like, is it like, did I pass
222
00:08:59.639 --> 00:09:01.200
out for three seconds and then that was enough?
223
00:09:01.220 --> 00:09:05.980
I believe there's an ER episode where someone passes out
224
00:09:06.019 --> 00:09:09.980
in the car. and rams into something and they do
225
00:09:10.009 --> 00:09:11.659
a battery of tests. I hope they did a.
226
00:09:11.659 --> 00:09:13.299
Battery of tests. Yes, yes.
227
00:09:13.620 --> 00:09:16.220
And they were like, oh my God, this accident, which
228
00:09:16.279 --> 00:09:19.759
everyone thought you were drunk. for actually was you passing
229
00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:22.059
out and has let us see that you have a
230
00:09:22.120 --> 00:09:24.500
major medical problem that we need to fix. Did anything
231
00:09:24.519 --> 00:09:25.360
like that happen?
232
00:09:25.500 --> 00:09:28.769
We're in the process of figuring out if I have, yeah, like.
233
00:09:28.850 --> 00:09:30.690
The tests don't come back as soon as they do
234
00:09:30.769 --> 00:09:31.169
on TV?
235
00:09:32.149 --> 00:09:34.789
Well, they do if you edit the whole thing together. Oh,
236
00:09:34.970 --> 00:09:35.889
we should do that.
237
00:09:36.090 --> 00:09:36.309
Yeah.
238
00:09:36.809 --> 00:09:39.129
But yes, I am trying to figure out if in
239
00:09:39.169 --> 00:09:42.610
fact I have an arrhythmia or if I have like
240
00:09:43.149 --> 00:09:45.340
Or if there's a thing that could have medically contributed.
241
00:09:45.419 --> 00:09:48.450
So you may have been passed out before running into it,
242
00:09:48.519 --> 00:09:51.379
or you may have run into it from a whoopsie
243
00:09:51.399 --> 00:09:55.350
of types of like, you know, like you spilled, you know,
244
00:09:55.429 --> 00:09:57.110
sticky Coke on your hands.
245
00:09:57.129 --> 00:10:00.179
Yeah, I might've been trying to playing with marmalade. Um,
246
00:10:01.159 --> 00:10:04.070
I might've been eating marmalade out of a jar with
247
00:10:04.120 --> 00:10:06.570
my hand. And I was like, Oh, my hand's sticky.
248
00:10:06.610 --> 00:10:11.169
And I'm like distracted. But again, there was no marmalade found.
249
00:10:12.230 --> 00:10:14.190
You may have eaten it all though. Have you thought
250
00:10:14.210 --> 00:10:14.450
about that?
251
00:10:14.470 --> 00:10:16.029
It's true that it's possible. I ate a whole jar
252
00:10:16.049 --> 00:10:20.090
of marmalade. It was confused out of my mind.
253
00:10:21.710 --> 00:10:23.929
But but so you you may have lost control. You
254
00:10:24.250 --> 00:10:27.389
may have become unconscious. But then what happens is and
255
00:10:27.669 --> 00:10:30.470
I have not seen this. Anywhere but in the movies.
256
00:10:30.809 --> 00:10:31.649
Yeah.
257
00:10:31.889 --> 00:10:33.570
The car bursts into flames.
258
00:10:33.909 --> 00:10:37.240
I don't know exactly when because I'm not burned, so. Right.
259
00:10:37.320 --> 00:10:39.720
And here's the thing. I haven't looked up the stories
260
00:10:39.740 --> 00:10:40.960
to be like, oh, I made it.
261
00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:42.240
Have you watched the video?
262
00:10:42.799 --> 00:10:45.580
No, because I don't know. It's probably quite disturbing.
263
00:10:45.860 --> 00:10:48.460
Yeah, yeah. There's some trauma that you don't need.
264
00:10:48.840 --> 00:10:50.039
Yeah, so I haven't.
265
00:10:50.100 --> 00:10:52.940
You already have enough trauma regarding the incident. Yes, and
266
00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:54.440
I have a- And then you have to answer questions
267
00:10:54.480 --> 00:10:55.700
on a stupid podcast about it.
268
00:10:55.899 --> 00:10:58.809
But I- happy to but like i had a concussion
269
00:10:59.370 --> 00:11:01.909
but the concussion would basically it was like i don't
270
00:11:01.929 --> 00:11:05.549
remember the accident um i know that you know when
271
00:11:05.570 --> 00:11:09.480
i was pulled out i the car is on fire
272
00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:11.000
and you are pulled out of it i don't know
273
00:11:11.019 --> 00:11:12.600
if i was pulled out i don't know how much
274
00:11:12.659 --> 00:11:14.139
the car was under fire when i was pulled out
275
00:11:14.200 --> 00:11:16.100
but it was probably i remember being in the ambulance
276
00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:18.429
and seeing my car on fire and being like oh
277
00:11:18.509 --> 00:11:20.289
i'm glad i'm not there and then i remember thinking
278
00:11:20.330 --> 00:11:22.549
like This is definitely not a dream.
279
00:11:23.450 --> 00:11:25.129
So you woke up in the ambulance. I thought you
280
00:11:25.149 --> 00:11:26.889
would have woken up in the hospital.
281
00:11:26.990 --> 00:11:29.610
I mean, I briefly remembered, and then the next thing
282
00:11:29.649 --> 00:11:31.629
I remember was the hospital. But I put it together.
283
00:11:31.649 --> 00:11:34.470
I was like, oh, this ambulance took me to a hospital.
284
00:11:34.610 --> 00:11:37.029
So this is what I wanted to ask, because you
285
00:11:37.100 --> 00:11:38.929
see this in movies and TV all the time, the
286
00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:42.799
person waking up in the hospital. But when you woke
287
00:11:42.840 --> 00:11:44.080
up in the hospital, you got it.
288
00:11:45.340 --> 00:11:47.320
I had known that. I mean, again, I was sort
289
00:11:47.340 --> 00:11:49.879
of confused. I couldn't remember why I was where I was.
290
00:11:49.960 --> 00:11:51.740
And now then I was like, oh, yeah, I was
291
00:11:51.759 --> 00:11:52.440
going to Vermont.
292
00:11:53.980 --> 00:11:55.059
And why were you going to Vermont?
293
00:11:55.080 --> 00:11:56.000
Are you able to share this?
294
00:11:56.659 --> 00:11:57.360
Oh, OK.
295
00:11:57.639 --> 00:12:05.519
I was going to to Jacksonville. Julie Smith-Glemsholm, who directed
296
00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:09.340
the special, and we have a label together along with
297
00:12:09.500 --> 00:12:13.519
our friend Aditi. And the three of us were meeting
298
00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.690
up to work on stuff related to putting out the
299
00:12:16.730 --> 00:12:17.570
special and album.
300
00:12:17.649 --> 00:12:21.509
And then you don't arrive at this pre-planned meeting.
301
00:12:21.889 --> 00:12:25.529
No, because I made a stop. i decided to stop
302
00:12:25.570 --> 00:12:26.870
at a hospital for several.
303
00:12:26.570 --> 00:12:29.330
Days right so do now this has happened to me
304
00:12:29.409 --> 00:12:32.529
occasionally where someone doesn't show up where where and when
305
00:12:32.549 --> 00:12:35.350
they're supposed to be there yeah and you're the mind
306
00:12:35.429 --> 00:12:38.730
starts kind of going like is this person all right
307
00:12:38.870 --> 00:12:40.429
they're not answering their phone so.
308
00:12:41.029 --> 00:12:44.269
So i think what actually happened was with whoever pulled
309
00:12:44.289 --> 00:12:46.220
me out or i think a few people pulled me
310
00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:48.960
out but one of them asked me if i like
311
00:12:49.220 --> 00:12:51.129
for a phone number and i No, I had a
312
00:12:51.149 --> 00:12:53.250
concussion and was baffled. They wanted your phone number? I
313
00:12:53.250 --> 00:12:55.110
remembered my wife's phone number. Oh, okay. And so I
314
00:12:55.190 --> 00:12:58.090
gave it to them. They called my wife and then
315
00:12:58.190 --> 00:13:01.370
she called and let, and so then Julian out of
316
00:13:01.389 --> 00:13:03.389
tea came to meet me at the hospital, which.
317
00:13:03.429 --> 00:13:03.759
Got it.
318
00:13:03.909 --> 00:13:05.840
You know, so, so it all, we didn't, not that
319
00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:07.879
we like, we're like, okay, let's finish our meeting.
320
00:13:09.779 --> 00:13:12.279
Did the, whatever you were meeting about, was that ever resolved?
321
00:13:12.600 --> 00:13:13.080
Yes. Yes.
322
00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:15.240
We, we ended up, uh, yeah, we, we, we.
323
00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:16.000
I just want to make sure.
324
00:13:16.019 --> 00:13:16.200
Yeah.
325
00:13:16.259 --> 00:13:16.460
Yeah.
326
00:13:16.519 --> 00:13:16.940
Don't worry.
327
00:13:16.980 --> 00:13:20.899
I got to, I'm signed, uh, vinyl. Uh, that will
328
00:13:21.039 --> 00:13:23.840
that was mailed out a week later yeah so everything
329
00:13:23.860 --> 00:13:24.919
worked out don't worry.
330
00:13:24.940 --> 00:13:27.279
Can you imagine if if this had a different outcome
331
00:13:27.299 --> 00:13:29.080
and you didn't get to sign that vinyl.
332
00:13:29.100 --> 00:13:30.539
I know and then people had paid for it and
333
00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:34.120
then you have to refund it and then my final
334
00:13:34.139 --> 00:13:38.279
special is called here comes the whimsy and i'm and
335
00:13:38.330 --> 00:13:43.169
it's just so sad so i'm like obviously like so
336
00:13:43.889 --> 00:13:46.190
like lucky and i have no idea what happened or
337
00:13:46.250 --> 00:13:48.529
what caused it and i and i think like you
338
00:13:48.570 --> 00:13:51.269
know there's guesses of what Again, like all I'll be
339
00:13:51.289 --> 00:13:52.950
able to, even if I find out that I have
340
00:13:53.370 --> 00:13:56.350
a heart condition, I don't know that that's what happened then.
341
00:13:56.549 --> 00:13:58.370
It's just that I have a heart condition.
342
00:13:58.409 --> 00:14:00.149
You just have to guess on all this kind of stuff.
343
00:14:00.230 --> 00:14:00.490
Yeah.
344
00:14:00.509 --> 00:14:02.509
I mean, and all I can do is be like, well,
345
00:14:02.549 --> 00:14:05.379
if I was distracted, I'm not, I probably won't be like.
346
00:14:06.070 --> 00:14:10.330
Yeah. Have you thought about getting behind the wheel again?
347
00:14:10.389 --> 00:14:11.610
Yes, I drove.
348
00:14:12.190 --> 00:14:12.769
Yes.
349
00:14:12.950 --> 00:14:14.450
I mean, the first time was, I don't know, a
350
00:14:14.769 --> 00:14:17.029
week or two later where I literally moved the car
351
00:14:17.049 --> 00:14:19.809
from down the street to our parking, to our driveway.
352
00:14:19.830 --> 00:14:20.950
And did you have any kind of like.
353
00:14:27.370 --> 00:14:28.929
And then a couple of days later, you're just like
354
00:14:29.009 --> 00:14:31.019
on your phone while you're driving. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like
355
00:14:31.039 --> 00:14:31.500
the old days.
356
00:14:31.700 --> 00:14:34.100
Yes, yes, exactly. Well, no, it took me a while,
357
00:14:34.120 --> 00:14:35.840
but I looked to see if I had any incoming
358
00:14:35.879 --> 00:14:38.440
or outgoing emails or texts or anything at that time,
359
00:14:38.460 --> 00:14:41.590
and I didn't. So I know that like that wasn't
360
00:14:41.620 --> 00:14:42.000
a thing.
361
00:14:42.750 --> 00:14:42.950
Right.
362
00:14:42.990 --> 00:14:44.730
But I, you know, I don't know.
363
00:14:46.389 --> 00:14:50.110
And if it had gone the other way, and we're
364
00:14:50.289 --> 00:14:51.250
so glad that it didn't.
365
00:14:51.549 --> 00:14:51.730
Yeah.
366
00:14:52.149 --> 00:14:55.210
Was there a plan in place for like Bob's Burgers?
367
00:14:55.450 --> 00:14:57.509
Is there a line of succession? Like, does Dan Mintz
368
00:14:57.570 --> 00:14:59.990
get to like go up and start doing your part
369
00:15:00.029 --> 00:15:01.750
and someone takes over his or what?
370
00:15:01.769 --> 00:15:05.919
Yeah, I don't know. I haven't inquired as to who
371
00:15:06.779 --> 00:15:07.740
they would get, but yeah.
372
00:15:07.779 --> 00:15:10.500
Yeah, is there someone out there with another deep voice
373
00:15:10.539 --> 00:15:11.039
in comedy?
374
00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:13.960
Who does like a kid who plays a high-voiced kid?
375
00:15:13.980 --> 00:15:14.600
Yeah.
376
00:15:15.779 --> 00:15:18.740
Um, I don't know. Has anyone ever had to re like, uh,
377
00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:22.370
do a couple of lines for Eugene on, or no, sorry, Jean, uh,
378
00:15:22.389 --> 00:15:26.149
is the character name on Bob's Burgers. Indistinguishable.
379
00:15:26.490 --> 00:15:26.649
Yeah.
380
00:15:26.669 --> 00:15:28.110
But you know what I mean? We're like, oh, you,
381
00:15:28.210 --> 00:15:31.289
you're not available because you're in Bali or something. And
382
00:15:31.309 --> 00:15:32.690
they go, oh, get this guy to do.
383
00:15:32.750 --> 00:15:34.389
No, I, I don't, I don't believe so.
384
00:15:34.429 --> 00:15:36.620
You've done 100% of the dialogue.
385
00:15:36.740 --> 00:15:37.539
I believe that's true.
386
00:15:38.259 --> 00:15:41.330
And you and there there supposedly is no plan in place.
387
00:15:41.570 --> 00:15:42.590
The producers are not.
388
00:15:43.070 --> 00:15:45.129
I am unaware, though. Who knows if now there's a backup?
389
00:15:45.389 --> 00:15:47.190
Because, you know, I've always said this. I feel like,
390
00:15:47.250 --> 00:15:49.230
you know, you don't want the West Wing effect to
391
00:15:49.269 --> 00:15:52.110
happen where like one of the main actors passes away
392
00:15:52.129 --> 00:15:54.990
and then you're unprepared. And they were only like five
393
00:15:55.049 --> 00:15:58.080
or six episodes away from the show ending. I've always
394
00:15:58.120 --> 00:16:01.460
said that every any actor on a show needs to
395
00:16:01.500 --> 00:16:03.789
come in on their first day and and film a
396
00:16:03.809 --> 00:16:07.750
scene of them clutching their heart going, so that it
397
00:16:07.769 --> 00:16:10.240
can be incorporated into the show a little bit later.
398
00:16:10.679 --> 00:16:13.320
Yes. We do that on Bob's. I mean, they have
399
00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:14.570
a lot of us just going.
400
00:16:15.490 --> 00:16:15.669
Right.
401
00:16:16.889 --> 00:16:19.929
Um yeah i don't know um do you think that.
402
00:16:19.830 --> 00:16:22.450
Would you prefer that they kill off your character in
403
00:16:22.470 --> 00:16:25.049
bob's burgers were you to or you did no longer.
404
00:16:24.830 --> 00:16:28.129
Be here no no i i probably you want him
405
00:16:28.149 --> 00:16:29.990
to go on i want yeah i want that would
406
00:16:30.009 --> 00:16:33.149
be a tragedy for the family wouldn't it yeah so
407
00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:35.429
so i don't know that what bob's needs is a
408
00:16:35.820 --> 00:16:40.659
deep deep tragedy where like the middle child dies and
409
00:16:40.700 --> 00:16:44.490
then like episodes are not about it but like Always.
410
00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:47.850
I feel like there's an easy fix, which is like
411
00:16:47.889 --> 00:16:50.250
he dies and then cut to, it just says cut
412
00:16:50.289 --> 00:16:52.750
to two years later. That way there's like, we don't
413
00:16:52.769 --> 00:16:55.169
have to see the grieving process, you know, and it's like.
414
00:16:55.190 --> 00:16:58.970
Yeah, but here's the thing about cartoons, nobody ages. So
415
00:16:59.009 --> 00:17:01.409
two years later, what are you then making everybody older?
416
00:17:01.450 --> 00:17:02.129
I don't think you're doing that.
417
00:17:02.149 --> 00:17:04.740
That would be fun though, wouldn't it? See everyone two
418
00:17:04.759 --> 00:17:07.200
years later. I mean, how old is Kristen's character?
419
00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:08.660
I believe she's nine.
420
00:17:09.319 --> 00:17:10.940
Be great to see her at 11.
421
00:17:10.940 --> 00:17:13.680
I don't know. She's so perfect at nine.
422
00:17:13.960 --> 00:17:16.180
I know, but I mean, it would be kind of
423
00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:18.099
fun to see her like entering sixth grade.
424
00:17:18.380 --> 00:17:21.970
Yeah. Yes, it would.
425
00:17:22.049 --> 00:17:24.269
And all that that entails. It's true. Middle school.
426
00:17:24.549 --> 00:17:24.750
Yeah.
427
00:17:25.069 --> 00:17:26.430
You know, first day of middle school. I think this
428
00:17:26.490 --> 00:17:27.160
is a good idea.
429
00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:28.859
Every episode is first day of middle school.
430
00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:29.799
Right. Yeah, yeah.
431
00:17:30.700 --> 00:17:35.480
Um, and so, um, your special, you don't, you don't
432
00:17:35.559 --> 00:17:38.369
address it in the special because it happened beforehand.
433
00:17:38.630 --> 00:17:38.829
Yeah.
434
00:17:38.890 --> 00:17:39.410
I taped it.
435
00:17:39.450 --> 00:17:41.829
What is, what is like the, if it was your
436
00:17:41.890 --> 00:17:44.849
last word, we, we mentioned how weird that would be
437
00:17:44.890 --> 00:17:47.069
if this was like the last special you ever put out.
438
00:17:47.130 --> 00:17:49.710
Yeah. Now I'm going to really quickly try to make
439
00:17:49.750 --> 00:17:50.089
another one.
440
00:17:50.250 --> 00:17:50.450
Yeah.
441
00:17:50.509 --> 00:17:52.609
Is there, is there anything at the end of the
442
00:17:52.650 --> 00:17:54.890
special that would sum up your career? Like if it
443
00:17:54.930 --> 00:17:57.119
had to be, had to have been the last one, like.
444
00:17:57.880 --> 00:17:59.740
You know, or is the last line of the special
445
00:17:59.779 --> 00:18:01.470
just kind of goofy and you're like, well, that's the
446
00:18:01.509 --> 00:18:02.589
last thing we ever hear from Eugene.
447
00:18:02.609 --> 00:18:04.170
I think the last part of the special is people
448
00:18:04.250 --> 00:18:04.869
tap dancing.
449
00:18:05.569 --> 00:18:05.859
Really?
450
00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:06.759
Yeah. That's fun.
451
00:18:06.779 --> 00:18:07.119
Yeah.
452
00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:07.660
That's good.
453
00:18:07.779 --> 00:18:10.420
Yeah, see? I would describe it even as whimsical.
454
00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:15.309
Do you think you would have made the In Memoriam? Oh, no.
455
00:18:15.329 --> 00:18:17.230
The Emmys, I bet you would have.
456
00:18:17.349 --> 00:18:18.250
Emmys, maybe.
457
00:18:18.869 --> 00:18:19.690
I know you would have.
458
00:18:19.890 --> 00:18:24.480
Emmys, maybe, yeah. But I'm not in one and a
459
00:18:24.519 --> 00:18:25.619
half movies or something.
460
00:18:25.660 --> 00:18:27.759
The Oscars, you would have. No, there's no.
461
00:18:28.759 --> 00:18:30.359
Like, there's no version.
462
00:18:30.460 --> 00:18:32.809
What about the Grammys? Latin Grammys?
463
00:18:32.990 --> 00:18:35.529
Latin Grammys, maybe. I wonder if I would make, like,
464
00:18:35.589 --> 00:18:39.410
the People's Choice Award. Do they have it in memoriam?
465
00:18:39.450 --> 00:18:40.730
Have you ever won a People's Choice Award?
466
00:18:40.750 --> 00:18:42.789
I don't think I've been nominated, but maybe Bob's has.
467
00:18:43.170 --> 00:18:43.609
Probably.
468
00:18:43.930 --> 00:18:46.000
Yeah. Probably.
469
00:18:46.019 --> 00:18:47.759
I think I said probably because Bob.
470
00:18:48.119 --> 00:18:53.380
Yeah, probably. Yeah, I don't know. But, you know, I
471
00:18:53.480 --> 00:18:56.160
now want to make a list of organizations that I
472
00:18:56.200 --> 00:18:58.690
think would wish me well if I died. It is
473
00:18:58.789 --> 00:19:02.829
slightly interesting experiencing almost your own funeral because lots of
474
00:19:02.869 --> 00:19:05.170
people reached out and it was like, oh, this is
475
00:19:05.630 --> 00:19:08.930
what it would have been like if I had died.
476
00:19:09.730 --> 00:19:11.809
But everyone's like, and he didn't die.
477
00:19:11.829 --> 00:19:14.319
I mean, no one's disappointed.
478
00:19:14.339 --> 00:19:17.440
I think they also like the amount, the news and
479
00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:21.019
the fire or whatever was so insane. And then I'm
480
00:19:21.059 --> 00:19:23.500
kind of like. I mean, I had a concussion and
481
00:19:23.559 --> 00:19:24.359
I fractured.
482
00:19:24.619 --> 00:19:26.799
It's not like you had a heart attack and everyone
483
00:19:26.819 --> 00:19:28.920
hears about it and goes, oh, my God. You know,
484
00:19:28.980 --> 00:19:32.039
it was just so crazy to, you know, to read
485
00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:35.029
it in the news first, you know, before anyone reached.
486
00:19:35.049 --> 00:19:38.009
Because sometimes there's a little bit of, you know, a
487
00:19:38.950 --> 00:19:41.230
game of telephone with comedians of like, did you hear
488
00:19:41.230 --> 00:19:44.079
about this? Did you hear about this? It was pure, like, TMZ, like,
489
00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:45.440
what the fuck just happened?
490
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:45.670
Yeah.
491
00:19:45.670 --> 00:19:47.920
Yeah and it was also obviously so insane because like
492
00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:50.539
i also have no idea what yeah happened or caused it.
493
00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:52.059
I mean i reached out to my friend who works
494
00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:54.799
on bob's burger burgers just to uh yes you know
495
00:19:54.900 --> 00:19:57.319
see what what he knew about it and you know
496
00:19:57.339 --> 00:19:59.039
and so i got a little more information.
497
00:19:58.660 --> 00:20:00.680
Yes because i was supposed to record the next day
498
00:20:01.539 --> 00:20:06.509
um and i couldn't um and and so i uh
499
00:20:06.569 --> 00:20:09.369
yeah so so we i call like my wife called
500
00:20:09.390 --> 00:20:12.170
bobs and let them know and then so everyone there
501
00:20:12.210 --> 00:20:13.710
knew i was basically.
502
00:20:13.490 --> 00:20:15.670
Fine but but you know obviously.
503
00:20:15.230 --> 00:20:17.170
And you're and you're like you're not burned up or
504
00:20:17.210 --> 00:20:18.950
anything like that and you basically wake up in the
505
00:20:18.990 --> 00:20:22.210
hospital how how long are you there.
506
00:20:22.130 --> 00:20:23.829
I was there for essentially three days two and a
507
00:20:23.849 --> 00:20:24.309
half days.
508
00:20:24.470 --> 00:20:26.849
Why why so long if there wasn't.
509
00:20:26.970 --> 00:20:29.210
Well because i broke my wrist and then i so
510
00:20:29.230 --> 00:20:31.230
i broke my wrist and had surgery on it oh
511
00:20:31.250 --> 00:20:34.329
okay um and i had fractured or broken two ribs
512
00:20:34.390 --> 00:20:36.869
in my sternum and had a concussion and maybe like
513
00:20:36.930 --> 00:20:39.930
a bruised like there was i wasn't like not injured
514
00:20:40.009 --> 00:20:45.269
but i wasn't like uh so injured that that once
515
00:20:45.430 --> 00:20:48.980
i had surgery and it's and and also the the
516
00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:51.089
person next to me who was a very nice man,
517
00:20:51.450 --> 00:20:53.210
but also he listened to the news very loud. So
518
00:20:53.289 --> 00:20:55.609
every day I would hear my story of my car
519
00:20:55.690 --> 00:21:00.690
accident very loudly with new pieces of information added each day.
520
00:21:00.710 --> 00:21:03.180
And so it was like, you know, at first it's like,
521
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:06.180
you know, the governor's details saves this man from a
522
00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:08.859
burning car. And then it's like, good news. That man
523
00:21:08.920 --> 00:21:12.349
is Eugene Burbidge. That's what we were when I was
524
00:21:12.410 --> 00:21:16.109
filling out like the discharge hospital papers. It was the
525
00:21:16.170 --> 00:21:20.480
story of it being me finally revealed as if that
526
00:21:20.519 --> 00:21:22.640
was like the funnest thing in the world.
527
00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:24.980
We got a great big surprise for everyone.
528
00:21:25.039 --> 00:21:25.319
Yeah.
529
00:21:25.380 --> 00:21:26.940
You could know his voice.
530
00:21:27.940 --> 00:21:28.519
Yeah.
531
00:21:28.579 --> 00:21:28.859
Yeah.
532
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:30.329
That was that was fun.
533
00:21:31.410 --> 00:21:32.690
And did the guy in the bed next to you
534
00:21:32.750 --> 00:21:34.940
who was hearing this news, did he ever go like,
535
00:21:35.339 --> 00:21:36.559
wait a minute, are you?
536
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:36.859
Yeah.
537
00:21:36.900 --> 00:21:39.940
So like after maybe the second day or something, he's like, hey,
538
00:21:39.960 --> 00:21:41.940
are you the guy from the crash? And I was like,
539
00:21:42.140 --> 00:21:42.829
I am.
540
00:21:43.170 --> 00:21:44.970
He's the guy who called TMZ, didn't he?
541
00:21:45.329 --> 00:21:47.789
No, I think TMZ just called the hospitals in the area.
542
00:21:47.809 --> 00:21:49.450
And I don't know how many there are. Maybe it
543
00:21:49.490 --> 00:21:50.509
was the first or third call.
544
00:21:51.130 --> 00:21:54.259
So do they know it's you and they're calling hospitals
545
00:21:54.319 --> 00:21:55.759
in the area or are they just calling hospitals?
546
00:21:55.779 --> 00:21:59.099
I think they're calling and asking for Eugene Merman. And then,
547
00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:01.359
you know, and the nurses were so sweet and the
548
00:22:01.400 --> 00:22:03.880
staff there was so sweet. And then when that happened
549
00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:07.250
and I was sort of visibly shaken, they were like,
550
00:22:07.289 --> 00:22:09.359
we can make you a private patient. And I was like, oh,
551
00:22:09.369 --> 00:22:11.890
what's that? And they're like, well, nobody can call you.
552
00:22:12.390 --> 00:22:14.190
And then you can make even a password for people
553
00:22:14.230 --> 00:22:15.799
to come. But then, of course, the only people actually
554
00:22:15.819 --> 00:22:18.420
visiting are like my friends and family. So it's like
555
00:22:18.460 --> 00:22:20.369
very funny where like the next day they asked my
556
00:22:20.410 --> 00:22:23.269
brother for the password and he's like, what password? And
557
00:22:23.289 --> 00:22:24.970
then so they would come to me and be like,
558
00:22:25.009 --> 00:22:27.019
this guy is your brother? And I was like, yes, yes, please,
559
00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:27.859
please let him visit me.
560
00:22:28.819 --> 00:22:29.059
Wow.
561
00:22:29.240 --> 00:22:32.740
Although it would be really fun, though, if the TMZ
562
00:22:32.779 --> 00:22:35.440
guy says, like, you know, I'm his brother and.
563
00:22:35.490 --> 00:22:37.450
Pretends to be your brother. No, they just call probably
564
00:22:37.509 --> 00:22:38.670
hospitals and ask to speak to me.
565
00:22:39.009 --> 00:22:39.250
Wow.
566
00:22:39.430 --> 00:22:41.650
But yeah, but they reacted very quickly. And then after that,
567
00:22:41.769 --> 00:22:43.210
it was probably hard to call.
568
00:22:43.529 --> 00:22:47.730
Well, I mean, it is a bizarre thing, I'm sure,
569
00:22:47.859 --> 00:22:52.420
to go through something like this, hopefully decades away from when,
570
00:22:53.400 --> 00:22:54.700
you know, it'll happen for real.
571
00:22:55.160 --> 00:22:55.940
You know what I mean?
572
00:22:55.960 --> 00:22:57.039
Yes, I hope that.
573
00:22:57.960 --> 00:23:00.720
In 51 years, when I'm 102, I do it again.
574
00:23:00.819 --> 00:23:01.099
Yes.
575
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:03.779
And whatever, you know, that'll be.
576
00:23:03.740 --> 00:23:07.869
My- And that's the final chapter. Exactly. But it's, you
577
00:23:07.970 --> 00:23:12.069
must have some inkling of how loved and respected you
578
00:23:12.170 --> 00:23:14.069
are within the community and.
579
00:23:14.150 --> 00:23:17.170
Yes, there was a very sweet outpouring and lots of
580
00:23:17.390 --> 00:23:21.480
people texting and- Yeah. And it was, yes. So there, there,
581
00:23:21.539 --> 00:23:22.859
there was a great deal.
582
00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:26.279
And we don't always know that we, you know, we, uh, uh,
583
00:23:26.440 --> 00:23:28.460
sometimes can be like, I wonder what other people think
584
00:23:28.500 --> 00:23:30.000
about me. I bet they talk shit about me all
585
00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:34.150
the time. And then you find out that no, actually they, uh, they,
586
00:23:34.289 --> 00:23:38.410
they enjoy your company and respect you. Um, and we
587
00:23:38.569 --> 00:23:42.710
are very glad that you're here, uh, and not, uh, uh,
588
00:23:42.789 --> 00:23:45.569
you know, wherever we did, did you get any kind
589
00:23:45.609 --> 00:23:48.549
of like, glimpse into the great beyond did you like
590
00:23:48.569 --> 00:23:50.450
go towards a light or anything like that.
591
00:23:50.269 --> 00:23:52.589
No i i mean look is it really tempting to
592
00:23:52.630 --> 00:23:54.609
be like i spoke to god and he told me
593
00:23:54.670 --> 00:23:56.930
these things and you have to follow my new cult
594
00:23:57.730 --> 00:24:00.049
and be like i'm stone tablets yeah exactly like as
595
00:24:00.089 --> 00:24:02.730
you guys can imagine i'm fireproof so i think we
596
00:24:03.579 --> 00:24:04.960
Should do everything I say.
597
00:24:04.980 --> 00:24:10.440
Um, no, I, I mean, like, no, it was just dreamland.
598
00:24:10.980 --> 00:24:13.400
I mean, I, yeah, I was just unconscious and then
599
00:24:13.519 --> 00:24:18.109
conscious and very confused and very, like, upset and traumatized,
600
00:24:18.180 --> 00:24:19.109
but not, um.
601
00:24:20.089 --> 00:24:23.809
Do you think you'll ever go through that toll booth again? Well,
602
00:24:23.849 --> 00:24:24.289
here's the thing.
603
00:24:24.329 --> 00:24:28.829
The funding already exists to remove it. Because a lot
604
00:24:28.849 --> 00:24:31.410
of people do crash into it. Not like, again, more
605
00:24:31.470 --> 00:24:35.089
than don't. But the funding is there to remove the
606
00:24:35.130 --> 00:24:35.589
toll booth.
607
00:24:35.609 --> 00:24:37.049
So this was already in the works.
608
00:24:37.109 --> 00:24:40.119
Because I think it's an unhelpful thing.
609
00:24:40.539 --> 00:24:41.380
Does it collect money?
610
00:24:41.400 --> 00:24:44.440
I believe it does through some sort of scanning system.
611
00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:46.259
You should get like a free pass through this for
612
00:24:46.279 --> 00:24:46.940
the rest of your life.
613
00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:50.299
I mean, I wish there were ceremonies for removing a
614
00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:51.839
toll booth because I would absolutely attend.
615
00:24:51.859 --> 00:24:54.539
But I can't imagine. And you would like, what's the
616
00:24:54.579 --> 00:24:58.940
reverse of having a big ribbon? Yeah, like you seal
617
00:24:58.980 --> 00:24:59.089
a red.
618
00:24:59.119 --> 00:24:59.460
Tape.
619
00:24:59.660 --> 00:25:03.670
Yes. I would gladly be there for the unveiling of
620
00:25:03.750 --> 00:25:04.430
no toll booth.
621
00:25:04.609 --> 00:25:07.700
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're like the patron saint of
622
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:09.839
that area now. I bet they should erect like a
623
00:25:09.880 --> 00:25:10.579
statue there.
624
00:25:10.599 --> 00:25:11.779
I don't know. I mean, all I did is for
625
00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:11.960
no clear.
626
00:25:11.980 --> 00:25:14.460
Do you think people would crash into the statue then or? Oh,
627
00:25:14.779 --> 00:25:15.339
I don't think they should.
628
00:25:15.380 --> 00:25:17.039
Well, maybe they put the statue on the side of
629
00:25:17.059 --> 00:25:18.920
the highway. So I wouldn't want to do a thing
630
00:25:18.940 --> 00:25:20.900
where like we've replaced this now with a statue you
631
00:25:20.920 --> 00:25:23.589
have to dodge. But yeah.
632
00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:30.759
Well, congratulations, Eugene. It's at least an interesting experience. I
633
00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:32.720
know you probably were in some pain.
634
00:25:32.740 --> 00:25:33.609
Yes, yes.
635
00:25:33.930 --> 00:25:37.549
And you seem okay now. I am relatively.
636
00:25:37.609 --> 00:25:40.430
I mean, I think I'm just so thankful. And I am, yeah,
637
00:25:40.569 --> 00:25:44.039
much more okay than one would imagine from whatever.
638
00:25:44.190 --> 00:25:47.319
Was there anything, not to continue dwelling on this, but
639
00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:50.079
was there anything that you were like, Oh, shit. Now
640
00:25:50.180 --> 00:25:52.660
I really know I need to put this bit of
641
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:54.289
my affairs in order or anything.
642
00:25:54.430 --> 00:25:58.569
So this is sort of the... The truth is, as
643
00:25:58.609 --> 00:26:01.710
you know, like, my... First wife died from cancer.
644
00:26:01.809 --> 00:26:01.950
Right.
645
00:26:02.329 --> 00:26:06.769
So I had already prioritized my life in a way
646
00:26:06.930 --> 00:26:09.210
of what was sort of important and meaningful to me.
647
00:26:09.230 --> 00:26:09.529
Right.
648
00:26:09.569 --> 00:26:13.759
So I truly didn't need another life lesson of how
649
00:26:13.900 --> 00:26:15.059
valuable life is.
650
00:26:15.140 --> 00:26:16.180
I get it.
651
00:26:16.220 --> 00:26:21.079
Because I was all set. So now I'm like, oh,
652
00:26:21.140 --> 00:26:26.450
life is super duper precious. And it's just like.
653
00:26:27.380 --> 00:26:27.799
I don't know.
654
00:26:27.880 --> 00:26:32.400
Yeah, so the irony is, is I already, like, I live,
655
00:26:32.880 --> 00:26:35.519
you know, in like a place near friends and family,
656
00:26:35.640 --> 00:26:39.509
and I already sort of prioritize the things.
657
00:26:39.630 --> 00:26:42.349
Do you feel like, who's that dude in the Bible? Job, right?
658
00:26:42.670 --> 00:26:44.190
I mean, he's certainly in the Bible, but I don't
659
00:26:44.230 --> 00:26:45.809
know enough to.
660
00:26:45.849 --> 00:26:47.769
You know, where it's just like, man, why is all
661
00:26:47.809 --> 00:26:48.930
this shit happening to me?
662
00:26:49.170 --> 00:26:49.369
Yeah.
663
00:26:49.589 --> 00:26:51.869
And then you look at, I'm trying to think of
664
00:26:51.930 --> 00:26:52.410
anyone else.
665
00:26:52.769 --> 00:26:52.930
Yeah.
666
00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:53.519
In comedy.
667
00:26:53.539 --> 00:26:53.630
Yeah.
668
00:26:54.029 --> 00:26:55.369
Who just has an easy time of it.
669
00:26:55.710 --> 00:26:58.029
Oh, I don't know. I imagine everyone in comedy, no
670
00:26:58.089 --> 00:26:59.349
one has like an easy time.
671
00:26:59.410 --> 00:27:02.009
One of the other titans of comedy, like, oh boy,
672
00:27:02.029 --> 00:27:03.670
why didn't this happen to Nathan Fielder?
673
00:27:04.170 --> 00:27:06.910
Oh, I don't know. People would be, it can't happen
674
00:27:06.930 --> 00:27:09.339
to Nathan Fielder because people would be like, this is for,
675
00:27:09.539 --> 00:27:12.220
he is recreating a toll crash. He's going to recreate
676
00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:15.779
my thing. That'll be his next series will be him
677
00:27:15.900 --> 00:27:19.740
rebuilding that toll booth on a stretch of highway in Indiana.
678
00:27:21.470 --> 00:27:25.759
Well, the special is Here Comes the Whimsy, and it's
679
00:27:25.799 --> 00:27:28.960
getting great reviews all across the board. It's on YouTube,
680
00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:30.200
and it's free to watch.
681
00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:36.369
It's $ 2, 000 of you. My recoupment plan is, yeah, I
682
00:27:36.390 --> 00:27:38.930
just need... 17 people.
683
00:27:39.089 --> 00:27:42.329
And there's no GoFundMe or anything for you? No.
684
00:27:42.910 --> 00:27:45.880
Sorry, that was too dramatic. That was really forceful. Yeah,
685
00:27:45.970 --> 00:27:49.140
I just, no, I haven't. You mean for the special
686
00:27:49.220 --> 00:27:50.519
or for just me personally?
687
00:27:50.539 --> 00:27:53.500
No, just for you. I mean, you have a part
688
00:27:53.539 --> 00:27:54.980
on a long-running sitcom.
689
00:27:55.019 --> 00:27:58.809
Yeah, I have healthcare through SAG-AFTRA, as I imagine a
690
00:27:58.849 --> 00:27:59.390
lot of us do.
691
00:27:59.410 --> 00:27:59.630
Yeah.
692
00:28:00.230 --> 00:28:01.329
It's insane that.
693
00:28:01.170 --> 00:28:03.420
We tie healthcare into people's jobs, isn't it?
694
00:28:04.049 --> 00:28:07.150
Yes, though I think until I'm 65, I'll have healthcare,
695
00:28:07.190 --> 00:28:10.710
and then I probably have to just never crash again,
696
00:28:11.410 --> 00:28:12.190
however it works.
697
00:28:13.089 --> 00:28:16.390
Do you think you will drive now, and have you
698
00:28:16.430 --> 00:28:21.170
been driving, with extra care? Or have you just slipped
699
00:28:21.210 --> 00:28:23.990
right back into the old, like... Yeah, I mean, I
700
00:28:24.029 --> 00:28:24.990
think we were driving.
701
00:28:26.200 --> 00:28:29.109
recently and i like let like probably like five cars
702
00:28:29.200 --> 00:28:31.549
in front of me and my wife's like what are
703
00:28:31.569 --> 00:28:36.170
you doing i'm like i'm just very very careful um
704
00:28:36.990 --> 00:28:39.470
but yeah i mean that's the thing like i think
705
00:28:39.569 --> 00:28:42.009
i'm you know i'm gonna like all the things that
706
00:28:42.029 --> 00:28:45.480
could have caused this are basically like like me being
707
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:48.359
distracted something medically with me or something with the car
708
00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:49.240
or probably.
709
00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:51.859
It's not like another car no there was no other
710
00:28:51.900 --> 00:28:56.230
car my car yeah i wasn't trying to stop or
711
00:28:56.289 --> 00:28:57.990
jerking in any way, which means, I don't know, it
712
00:28:58.009 --> 00:28:59.650
was probably in some sort of auto drive.
713
00:28:59.670 --> 00:29:04.730
Um, probably, but not definitely. Uh, but it doesn't, but again,
714
00:29:04.819 --> 00:29:09.359
because I wouldn't intentionally drive quickly into a toll booth smoothly.
715
00:29:09.380 --> 00:29:12.339
I have to imagine it was probably in some sort
716
00:29:12.380 --> 00:29:15.700
of mode like that. And then probably something happened to
717
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:18.069
me to not make me stop it.
718
00:29:18.460 --> 00:29:19.960
Maybe you thought it was something else, though.
719
00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:22.579
It's true that there could have been a glare. It's
720
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:24.599
not impossible that there was some sort of glare.
721
00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:27.839
I don't mean it was empty road. You thought it
722
00:29:27.900 --> 00:29:30.460
was like a duck or something that you wanted to kill.
723
00:29:30.500 --> 00:29:32.940
I mean, a toll booth, it is possible that there's
724
00:29:32.980 --> 00:29:35.470
some sort of turn in the way the sun... you know, anyway,
725
00:29:35.529 --> 00:29:38.029
these are all possibilities. There was a thing with like
726
00:29:38.069 --> 00:29:40.930
the insurance claim where you basically have to be like,
727
00:29:40.990 --> 00:29:44.559
am I 50.1% responsible? And I had to be like, yeah,
728
00:29:44.579 --> 00:29:47.049
I mean, no one else was driving. Even if it's
729
00:29:47.230 --> 00:29:49.450
all these other things, I can't be like, well, it
730
00:29:49.490 --> 00:29:51.750
wasn't me. I'm 10% responsible.
731
00:29:51.769 --> 00:29:52.670
The shaggy defense.
732
00:29:52.710 --> 00:29:54.470
It wasn't me. Yeah, yeah.
733
00:29:54.609 --> 00:29:58.009
Well, here comes The Whimsy is out right now, and
734
00:29:58.549 --> 00:30:00.910
I implore everyone to see it. There's no better time
735
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:03.599
than watching Eugene do comedy.
736
00:30:04.259 --> 00:30:04.400
I've.
737
00:30:04.759 --> 00:30:08.500
I've been seeing you since, God, now for 25 years,
738
00:30:08.579 --> 00:30:10.900
I feel like. I think I saw you out here
739
00:30:10.920 --> 00:30:12.700
at the Knitting Factory opening for Stella.
740
00:30:12.720 --> 00:30:13.579
Yeah, for Stella, yeah.
741
00:30:13.599 --> 00:30:17.200
Yeah, you know, and it's just one of the most
742
00:30:17.299 --> 00:30:20.519
unique minds in comedy. And honestly, he's one of the
743
00:30:20.559 --> 00:30:22.299
titans of comedy, which says a lot.
744
00:30:22.740 --> 00:30:23.640
It does.
745
00:30:24.339 --> 00:30:26.299
And we're going to take a break. When we come back,
746
00:30:26.339 --> 00:30:28.029
we have a ghost expert. We also have a bird.
747
00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:29.259
Does that sound good?
748
00:30:29.640 --> 00:30:31.579
Yeah, it doesn't sound good. It sounds great.
749
00:30:31.920 --> 00:30:33.599
All right, we're going to take a break. We're going
750
00:30:33.619 --> 00:30:35.630
to come right back with more Eugene Merman, more Comedy
751
00:30:35.670 --> 00:30:37.309
Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this.
752
00:30:39.789 --> 00:30:42.509
The Chemist's Warehouse Fall Frenzy Mega Sale is now live.
753
00:30:42.650 --> 00:30:44.930
Find up to half price off RRP on big brands
754
00:30:45.069 --> 00:30:48.170
like John Frieda, Batiste and Aussie Hair Care or Solgar,
755
00:30:48.190 --> 00:30:50.519
Meet Today and Chewy Bites Vitamins. And find up to
756
00:30:50.559 --> 00:30:54.680
half price off RRP on Emco Beauty, W7 and Rimmel Cosmetics.
757
00:30:54.799 --> 00:30:57.940
But hurry, sale must end September 20. Chemist's Warehouse, great
758
00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:59.119
savings every day.
759
00:31:00.970 --> 00:31:04.809
Treacherous ring roads lie ahead on our mission to reach Nannas.
760
00:31:05.210 --> 00:31:05.569
We must.
761
00:31:05.589 --> 00:31:08.240
Go to Mackey's for black pepper and garlic McNuggets.
762
00:31:08.680 --> 00:31:09.859
Navigation rerouting.
763
00:31:10.660 --> 00:31:13.460
The main mission can wait. Take a side mission to McDonald's.
764
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:17.779
Available until the 29th of September from 11am. Wastock slash
765
00:31:17.799 --> 00:31:19.500
subject to availability participation varies.
766
00:31:19.700 --> 00:31:23.140
Delicious beef ragu for dinner. Because you can't keep up
767
00:31:23.180 --> 00:31:25.950
with all the group chat. Make your mark.
768
00:31:26.069 --> 00:31:28.849
Always choose beef with the Bored Be A Quality mark.
769
00:31:51.789 --> 00:31:54.329
Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Eugene Merman is here. Here
770
00:31:54.430 --> 00:31:57.910
comes the whimsy is his special. You can get it
771
00:31:58.029 --> 00:32:01.059
on YouTube. What are we talking about? 60 minutes, 61, 62?
772
00:32:01.059 --> 00:32:05.380
Yeah, I forget its exact length. I think it's somewhere
773
00:32:05.400 --> 00:32:06.279
in the 56 to 57.
774
00:32:06.279 --> 00:32:08.279
Is that one of the things you forgot in the accident?
775
00:32:08.680 --> 00:32:10.960
Yeah, I forget the exact length of my special. That's the,
776
00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:15.029
I have a concussion and I forgot the accident and
777
00:32:15.089 --> 00:32:17.890
the exact Time length of my special.
778
00:32:17.970 --> 00:32:20.549
Okay, well, let me look it up for you.
779
00:32:21.410 --> 00:32:21.599
Sure.
780
00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:23.980
Here comes the whimsy.
781
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:24.079
Yeah.
782
00:32:25.319 --> 00:32:30.579
It happens to be... 57 minutes, 15 seconds. I'm going
783
00:32:30.599 --> 00:32:32.440
to have to click on it in order to figure
784
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:37.119
this out. People in this room. That's the first line
785
00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:37.799
of the special.
786
00:32:38.059 --> 00:32:39.759
Yeah, that's John Hodgman introducing me.
787
00:32:40.039 --> 00:32:42.599
Oh, John Hodgman, our good friend John Hodgman who owns
788
00:32:42.640 --> 00:32:47.940
a boat. It is 55 minutes and two seconds. Okay.
789
00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:49.539
Yeah, that's pretty reasonable.
790
00:32:49.700 --> 00:32:51.119
Okay, now I'm going to ask you again and see
791
00:32:51.160 --> 00:32:52.960
if you remember. How long is your special?
792
00:32:55.460 --> 00:33:00.700
I don't want to get this wrong. I... believe it
793
00:33:00.900 --> 00:33:02.700
is 55 minutes and two seconds.
794
00:33:02.839 --> 00:33:06.470
Wow. Okay, great. So there's no long lasting damage here.
795
00:33:06.750 --> 00:33:07.569
Neurological damage.
796
00:33:07.589 --> 00:33:09.109
What we don't know is do I still have short
797
00:33:09.130 --> 00:33:10.769
term memory? You'll have to ask me at the end.
798
00:33:11.089 --> 00:33:12.809
Okay, I'll ask you at the end and see if
799
00:33:12.829 --> 00:33:14.970
you remember. This is a good test. Okay, we need
800
00:33:14.990 --> 00:33:18.319
to get to our next guest. He's a ghost expert.
801
00:33:18.619 --> 00:33:21.720
Please welcome to the show, Devin Green. Hello, Scott Aukerman.
802
00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:25.839
Great to be here. Oh, what an interesting accent. An accent.
803
00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:28.160
Or dialect, yeah. It's a little hard to pin down,
804
00:33:28.220 --> 00:33:31.029
isn't it? Where are you from? It sounds a bit Irish?
805
00:33:31.730 --> 00:33:32.849
It's mostly Irish.
806
00:33:33.250 --> 00:33:33.650
Okay.
807
00:33:33.690 --> 00:33:35.809
I'm on a wee island to the west of Ireland.
808
00:33:36.009 --> 00:33:36.529
Oh, okay.
809
00:33:36.990 --> 00:33:40.509
Although I should tell you it's a metropolitan area, and
810
00:33:40.549 --> 00:33:42.569
I've been told many accents are in play.
811
00:33:43.109 --> 00:33:45.690
I see. Okay, well, and that's where you were born.
812
00:33:45.730 --> 00:33:50.140
And that's where I was born and raised. Island's name? Grumbledum. Grumbledum. Wow.
813
00:33:50.200 --> 00:33:51.140
Is that near Dingle?
814
00:33:52.130 --> 00:33:55.420
I think it is. I'm not much one for geography,
815
00:33:55.460 --> 00:33:57.140
I'm afraid, but I believe it is.
816
00:33:57.180 --> 00:33:59.809
People famously don't know the geography.
817
00:34:00.599 --> 00:34:01.579
It's pretty far. Of where they're from.
818
00:34:01.759 --> 00:34:04.440
It's pretty far west. Well, I know Grumbledome, but once
819
00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:06.720
you leave the island, you know, it gets a bit foggy.
820
00:34:07.029 --> 00:34:08.269
Well, it's so nice to have you on the show.
821
00:34:08.329 --> 00:34:08.690
Is it?
822
00:34:09.269 --> 00:34:11.070
It really is, yes. Oh, it's great to hear. That
823
00:34:11.090 --> 00:34:12.889
seems like it's a surprise to you. I'm not sure why.
824
00:34:12.909 --> 00:34:13.349
I just don't know.
825
00:34:13.409 --> 00:34:15.929
It's my first time in America, so. I heard you
826
00:34:15.949 --> 00:34:16.869
were a bit prickly here.
827
00:34:17.389 --> 00:34:20.260
Oh, no, not at all. You was a country. Oh, oh, oh, okay.
828
00:34:20.300 --> 00:34:23.360
Not you. That can be true, yeah. But no, here
829
00:34:23.380 --> 00:34:25.309
at Comedy Bang Bang- This is the show where we
830
00:34:25.329 --> 00:34:26.309
talk to interesting people.
831
00:34:26.469 --> 00:34:28.650
Oh, I'm one of them, I think, so that's good
832
00:34:28.670 --> 00:34:29.110
to hear.
833
00:34:29.150 --> 00:34:31.670
I hope so. Let's hear your details, and I'll decide
834
00:34:31.690 --> 00:34:32.610
after that. We'll judge at the end.
835
00:34:32.670 --> 00:34:34.909
You make a proclamation when I'm finished if I was
836
00:34:34.949 --> 00:34:35.510
indeed interested.
837
00:34:35.530 --> 00:34:35.809
That's right.
838
00:34:35.849 --> 00:34:39.510
Now, you are a ghost expert, which seems interesting to me.
839
00:34:39.630 --> 00:34:43.269
So far, looking up. Yeah, so tell me about what
840
00:34:43.289 --> 00:34:44.110
you're an expert on.
841
00:34:44.250 --> 00:34:48.559
Well, I'm a history of folklore and ghost tales and
842
00:34:48.699 --> 00:34:52.739
sightings and hauntings. And in my home island of Grimaldum,
843
00:34:52.760 --> 00:34:55.699
I give tours. Because there's many folklore.
844
00:34:55.820 --> 00:34:58.059
You know, it seems so soon for you to move
845
00:34:58.139 --> 00:35:01.340
on to your side business. Sure. Like, we haven't explored, like,
846
00:35:01.699 --> 00:35:04.659
you know... Let's stay on folklore. No, of course. That
847
00:35:04.679 --> 00:35:07.119
will put a pin in that. You know what I mean?
848
00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:09.769
I mean, like... No, sure, yes. I'm barely just registering,
849
00:35:09.789 --> 00:35:12.530
you know... I didn't mean to rush you. Let's let
850
00:35:12.570 --> 00:35:14.250
it soak in. Yeah, I would love that.
851
00:35:14.429 --> 00:35:17.590
I'm a man of mostly Irish accent from an island.
852
00:35:17.809 --> 00:35:18.969
Eugene, do you believe in ghosts?
853
00:35:20.150 --> 00:35:20.309
Um.
854
00:35:21.010 --> 00:35:21.449
Be honest.
855
00:35:22.469 --> 00:35:22.869
No.
856
00:35:22.889 --> 00:35:24.050
Okay. All right.
857
00:35:24.659 --> 00:35:28.320
But I believe that there's things that we don't know.
858
00:35:28.340 --> 00:35:29.079
Okay.
859
00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:30.619
But they're probably not ghosts.
860
00:35:30.659 --> 00:35:31.760
We know that. That's not real.
861
00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:35.300
We don't know. Well, let's keep the first part there.
862
00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:38.139
But you believe that you are in contact with ghosts?
863
00:35:38.260 --> 00:35:40.570
I have been in contact with many ghosts.
864
00:35:40.679 --> 00:35:42.989
Okay. So you're not just an expert on them. You
865
00:35:43.050 --> 00:35:47.449
actually correspond with them? I have corresponded. I've got many
866
00:35:47.489 --> 00:35:48.210
a pen pal.
867
00:35:49.090 --> 00:35:50.949
Are there things they can tell you that you would
868
00:35:50.989 --> 00:35:52.409
otherwise not be able to know?
869
00:35:52.550 --> 00:35:55.710
Yes, very much so. I love talking to ghosts. They
870
00:35:55.750 --> 00:35:57.179
know so much. They know so much.
871
00:35:57.239 --> 00:35:57.489
Yeah.
872
00:35:57.639 --> 00:36:00.579
Are you, you know, we've talked about several times about
873
00:36:00.619 --> 00:36:03.880
how putting on a show for the ghosts is masturbating.
874
00:36:04.659 --> 00:36:09.179
That's right. That's how I think of it. Yeah. Do they,
875
00:36:09.300 --> 00:36:11.119
when they talk to you, do they say, they love it.
876
00:36:11.210 --> 00:36:15.329
They love watching people masturbate and they report in. They're
877
00:36:15.389 --> 00:36:18.369
so tickled by it. They like the different people's styles.
878
00:36:18.409 --> 00:36:20.969
That's right. Yes. And only really they have the knowledge
879
00:36:20.989 --> 00:36:21.590
of that. Yeah.
880
00:36:21.610 --> 00:36:21.699
Yeah.
881
00:36:22.460 --> 00:36:24.559
And what is the first ghost that you ever either
882
00:36:24.639 --> 00:36:27.039
saw or heard or experienced? So many, because I was.
883
00:36:26.909 --> 00:36:28.909
Raised, you know, the island's so full of folklore. I'm
884
00:36:28.949 --> 00:36:30.610
not sure I can tell you the first.
885
00:36:30.829 --> 00:36:31.210
One I knew.
886
00:36:31.230 --> 00:36:33.190
That's okay. What are my favorites? Just an early memory.
887
00:36:33.849 --> 00:36:36.409
I suppose my favorite when I was a child is
888
00:36:36.510 --> 00:36:39.110
Miss Patty Greenlee.
889
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:41.119
Miss Patty Greenlee.
890
00:36:41.199 --> 00:36:43.559
So here's the thing, Scott. If you're a naughty child
891
00:36:44.019 --> 00:36:47.119
and you're in the Castle Greenlee, okay, where Miss Patty
892
00:36:47.159 --> 00:36:51.500
Greenlee was a servant, all right, and you misbehave, you'll
893
00:36:51.539 --> 00:36:56.300
hear Mrs. Greenlee's shoes creeping up behind you.
894
00:36:56.519 --> 00:36:56.780
Oh, no.
895
00:36:56.840 --> 00:37:01.780
Pit, pat, pit, pat. And if you don't run away immediately,
896
00:37:02.260 --> 00:37:07.289
you'll get covered in juice. Juice? She was a maid
897
00:37:07.309 --> 00:37:10.429
who brought juice. Orange juice, apple juice.
898
00:37:10.570 --> 00:37:13.050
Does she do this as a ghost or this is
899
00:37:13.090 --> 00:37:14.820
when she was alive? As a ghost and as alive.
900
00:37:15.519 --> 00:37:17.300
So she used to throw juice?
901
00:37:18.099 --> 00:37:19.679
Well, when she was alive, as I understand it, it
902
00:37:19.719 --> 00:37:23.130
was celebrations. You know, she'd come into the room of...
903
00:37:22.909 --> 00:37:24.809
I feel like I'm losing you already.
904
00:37:25.050 --> 00:37:26.710
No, no, no. I'm just trying to figure out if
905
00:37:26.750 --> 00:37:29.429
she would throw juice and then in the afterlife, if
906
00:37:29.469 --> 00:37:30.929
she was like, that was my favorite part of life,
907
00:37:30.949 --> 00:37:31.610
so I'm going to continue.
908
00:37:31.639 --> 00:37:33.699
I think that's what it was. So it wasn't something
909
00:37:33.739 --> 00:37:35.579
where she was in charge of the juice, but she
910
00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:37.760
would just deliver it calmly to people. This was a
911
00:37:37.780 --> 00:37:40.340
thing when she was alive, she would literally throw juice
912
00:37:40.440 --> 00:37:42.360
on people. That's right, yeah. As a celebration.
913
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:44.400
Well, she was a maid, a servant of the castle,
914
00:37:44.420 --> 00:37:46.579
so I'm assuming she had many other duties, but... Okay,
915
00:37:46.619 --> 00:37:47.980
so this wasn't her only thing.
916
00:37:48.099 --> 00:37:50.199
I don't think so. She's the throw juice woman that
917
00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:50.619
we contact.
918
00:37:51.639 --> 00:37:53.940
every eight days no i doubt that was her only
919
00:37:54.039 --> 00:37:55.579
response i have to say i know more of her
920
00:37:55.619 --> 00:37:57.679
as a ghost as a ghost that's all she does
921
00:37:57.980 --> 00:37:59.860
okay but i imagine in her life that was just
922
00:37:59.989 --> 00:38:01.190
one of many activities and.
923
00:38:01.179 --> 00:38:04.550
Is the juice uh a ghost as well the juice
924
00:38:04.650 --> 00:38:08.210
is real so so she goes around finding real juice
925
00:38:08.250 --> 00:38:09.829
what if that's what she does what if you just
926
00:38:09.869 --> 00:38:11.769
didn't keep juice in your house then she's out of
927
00:38:11.869 --> 00:38:13.489
options and what she does is you hear the pit
928
00:38:13.769 --> 00:38:17.460
the pat the pit and she goes oh shit And
929
00:38:17.480 --> 00:38:19.440
then that's it. And she goes somewhere else where there
930
00:38:19.460 --> 00:38:19.880
might be juice.
931
00:38:19.900 --> 00:38:22.380
But I give a tour and I leave juice around
932
00:38:22.460 --> 00:38:23.960
because it's a great- We're back to the tour, huh?
933
00:38:24.619 --> 00:38:28.349
I promise I won't stay long. It seemed extremely related
934
00:38:28.389 --> 00:38:29.190
to what you're saying.
935
00:38:29.449 --> 00:38:31.480
It's okay. No, go ahead with the tour. Nah, forget it.
936
00:38:32.250 --> 00:38:34.590
I leave juice out. If she's got no juice, you know,
937
00:38:34.630 --> 00:38:36.389
she just sort of says, well, you know, shite, that's it.
938
00:38:36.710 --> 00:38:36.989
Yeah.
939
00:38:37.329 --> 00:38:41.690
Yeah. I mean, that sounds creepy. I don't necessarily want juice.
940
00:38:41.730 --> 00:38:44.329
I mean, I feel like if a ghost threw juice
941
00:38:44.429 --> 00:38:47.150
on me, I would then kind of be like, ghosts
942
00:38:47.349 --> 00:38:50.630
are real, and I would... You certainly would. In the telling,
943
00:38:50.670 --> 00:38:52.210
if I were to be like, Eugene, I swear ghosts
944
00:38:52.250 --> 00:38:53.869
are real, one threw juice on me.
945
00:38:54.570 --> 00:38:56.949
What I would say to you is I definitely believe
946
00:38:56.989 --> 00:38:58.670
juice somehow was thrown at you.
947
00:38:58.690 --> 00:39:01.110
But wouldn't you believe it more than, oh, I saw
948
00:39:01.150 --> 00:39:02.989
a creepy thing, and I didn't know what it was?
949
00:39:03.210 --> 00:39:05.429
Yeah, I guess if juice came out of nowhere, unless
950
00:39:05.489 --> 00:39:08.090
you were like... Like.
951
00:39:07.409 --> 00:39:09.610
Earlier in the day, I was working on a juice catapult.
952
00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:13.179
Yeah, or there was juice in a glass on your desk,
953
00:39:13.260 --> 00:39:15.570
and you were like, I don't think I bumped it.
954
00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:16.980
I think a ghost spilled it on me.
955
00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:18.880
But if I was like, there was no juice anywhere
956
00:39:19.000 --> 00:39:22.820
other than in the kitchen, and suddenly something threw juice
957
00:39:22.929 --> 00:39:25.150
on me, there was no one else, you might go like.
958
00:39:25.469 --> 00:39:29.630
I'd be like, yeah, that's probably a ghost, or maybe
959
00:39:29.670 --> 00:39:33.619
I'd be like... invisible monkeys are real and they're mischievous.
960
00:39:33.739 --> 00:39:34.579
That's true.
961
00:39:34.599 --> 00:39:35.360
They're alive.
962
00:39:35.380 --> 00:39:36.400
So you'd be more likely.
963
00:39:36.420 --> 00:39:40.159
They can't be perceived by, they're outside our visual spectrum.
964
00:39:40.179 --> 00:39:42.610
Yeah, like light bends around them.
965
00:39:42.650 --> 00:39:43.090
Exactly.
966
00:39:43.110 --> 00:39:45.610
So it'd be like, yeah, so there's probably two possibilities.
967
00:39:45.710 --> 00:39:47.769
One is ghosts are real and the other is living
968
00:39:47.909 --> 00:39:51.789
invisible monkeys that light bends around are real. And I
969
00:39:51.809 --> 00:39:53.360
would be like, oh, now I don't know which thing
970
00:39:53.380 --> 00:39:54.320
to believe. Right.
971
00:39:54.639 --> 00:39:56.679
Well, there's no way I'd be a monkey because a
972
00:39:56.719 --> 00:39:58.000
monkey wouldn't share their juice.
973
00:39:59.449 --> 00:40:01.849
Oh, here's the thing about what you don't know about
974
00:40:01.869 --> 00:40:05.579
invisible monkeys, obviously, is that that's kind of their thing.
975
00:40:05.659 --> 00:40:06.260
They share juice.
976
00:40:06.300 --> 00:40:08.559
Well, I sort of noticed no such thing as invisible monkeys,
977
00:40:08.599 --> 00:40:09.679
so we don't have to talk about it.
978
00:40:10.059 --> 00:40:12.559
It's an interesting, fanciful sort of notion. Some would say
979
00:40:12.599 --> 00:40:13.679
there's no such thing as ghosts.
980
00:40:13.719 --> 00:40:15.010
Well, there is because I've seen them.
981
00:40:15.070 --> 00:40:17.929
You've seen them. Okay. And you've seen Mrs. What's her name?
982
00:40:17.969 --> 00:40:19.809
Patty Greenlee. And you've seen her.
983
00:40:20.349 --> 00:40:23.090
Well, no, because she's invisible. But I've seen the tray
984
00:40:23.130 --> 00:40:23.489
of juice.
985
00:40:24.239 --> 00:40:24.579
A floating.
986
00:40:24.619 --> 00:40:28.260
A floating tray of juice. That's right. And did you
987
00:40:28.340 --> 00:40:31.659
hear Miss Patty Greenlee as well? I did. So not see.
988
00:40:31.989 --> 00:40:36.010
What are the five senses? There's seeing, for sure.
989
00:40:36.050 --> 00:40:36.250
Yeah.
990
00:40:36.409 --> 00:40:37.030
There's hearing.
991
00:40:37.230 --> 00:40:37.510
Oh, yeah.
992
00:40:37.610 --> 00:40:40.489
I love that one. There's feeling, which is one I like,
993
00:40:40.530 --> 00:40:42.050
if you know what I mean. Yeah, because you're horny.
994
00:40:42.150 --> 00:40:42.599
Yeah, man.
995
00:40:43.110 --> 00:40:45.469
That's right, you love the sexual pleasure of touch. And
996
00:40:45.489 --> 00:40:47.449
then the other two we never really pay attention to.
997
00:40:47.469 --> 00:40:52.880
Who cares? Mostly those three. Seeing, hearing, and touching. The
998
00:40:52.900 --> 00:40:55.940
monkey stuff. Well, that's not real. Back to monkeys. No, no,
999
00:40:55.960 --> 00:40:58.050
I'm saying the monkey see, monkey hear, monkey do. Oh,
1000
00:40:58.059 --> 00:41:00.400
that's right. Oh, I guess do is. Doing is a sense.
1001
00:41:00.420 --> 00:41:00.940
Doing is a sense.
1002
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:03.360
So like touch, I think that's touch. And then there's
1003
00:41:03.400 --> 00:41:08.289
also taste. Can you taste a ghost? Have you tasted
1004
00:41:08.309 --> 00:41:08.570
a ghost?
1005
00:41:08.590 --> 00:41:10.630
I have not tasted a ghost. I think taste is
1006
00:41:10.650 --> 00:41:11.969
just touch. But I've smelled a ghost.
1007
00:41:12.170 --> 00:41:12.369
What?
1008
00:41:12.590 --> 00:41:13.489
Taste is just touch.
1009
00:41:13.889 --> 00:41:14.289
No.
1010
00:41:14.309 --> 00:41:14.929
With your tongue.
1011
00:41:15.510 --> 00:41:18.530
Well, taste is touch and taste.
1012
00:41:18.610 --> 00:41:19.349
But you know what I mean?
1013
00:41:19.369 --> 00:41:21.610
Well, you know how if you put your hand on
1014
00:41:21.650 --> 00:41:24.489
a lemon, you would only feel it. But if you
1015
00:41:24.530 --> 00:41:26.670
put your tongue on it, you would also be like, oh,
1016
00:41:26.730 --> 00:41:27.469
that's tart.
1017
00:41:27.489 --> 00:41:29.829
But you're also feeling it. Shouldn't it be a subset
1018
00:41:29.869 --> 00:41:34.289
of touch? You know, it's like 3B taste.
1019
00:41:34.550 --> 00:41:37.769
Well, I hate to be overly semantic, but in that case,
1020
00:41:37.829 --> 00:41:39.269
isn't sight also touch?
1021
00:41:40.170 --> 00:41:45.469
Huh? Sight, because it's light. A simultaneous huh on Comedy
1022
00:41:45.510 --> 00:41:49.909
Bang Bang. Double huh. What do you mean sight is
1023
00:41:49.929 --> 00:41:54.719
also touch? Because light is touching your eyes. Oh, yeah,
1024
00:41:54.739 --> 00:41:55.860
you're right. Okay, we need this.
1025
00:41:55.920 --> 00:42:00.280
So it's basically, so touch and then everything including smell
1026
00:42:00.360 --> 00:42:04.099
because it's vapors touching your nose. Sorry to get so mad.
1027
00:42:04.420 --> 00:42:07.469
Hearing is, I guess, sound waves touching you.
1028
00:42:07.489 --> 00:42:10.409
So it's just one sense. It's touch. And sometimes it
1029
00:42:10.449 --> 00:42:13.369
touches your smell and sometimes it touches your taste.
1030
00:42:13.530 --> 00:42:14.190
Your ears.
1031
00:42:14.230 --> 00:42:14.650
Yeah, exactly.
1032
00:42:14.769 --> 00:42:15.389
Or your wiener.
1033
00:42:15.690 --> 00:42:16.429
Yeah. Yeah.
1034
00:42:16.909 --> 00:42:17.630
Yeah, can ghosts.
1035
00:42:18.050 --> 00:42:18.789
Sure. Oh.
1036
00:42:19.150 --> 00:42:20.380
Have you ever had sex with a ghost?
1037
00:42:21.280 --> 00:42:24.679
I've been sexually aroused by a ghost. I hadn't touched one.
1038
00:42:25.050 --> 00:42:27.909
Okay. Because they're mostly untouchable. And what was it that
1039
00:42:27.949 --> 00:42:30.610
was so sexually arousing about this particular ghost? Well, you
1040
00:42:30.630 --> 00:42:32.989
know the scene in the first Ghostbusters when Dan Aykroyd
1041
00:42:33.010 --> 00:42:34.530
gets a blowjob? Gets the blowjob. But this is a
1042
00:42:34.590 --> 00:42:36.309
dream sequence, by the way. That's a dream.
1043
00:42:36.429 --> 00:42:36.610
Right.
1044
00:42:37.139 --> 00:42:39.800
In Ghostbusters. Sure. A lot of people, their memory of
1045
00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:44.909
it is that Dan Aykroyd legitimately got a real blowjob
1046
00:42:44.949 --> 00:42:45.530
from a ghost.
1047
00:42:45.570 --> 00:42:48.590
This is the most passionate I've seen in this whole episode.
1048
00:42:49.150 --> 00:42:52.210
You're ready to really get the continuity straight. But it
1049
00:42:52.250 --> 00:42:55.110
truly was a dream sequence of him.
1050
00:42:55.139 --> 00:42:57.739
So it's even less meaningful than we thought it. That
1051
00:42:57.800 --> 00:43:01.539
sequence was even less needed. So truly no change to
1052
00:43:01.579 --> 00:43:04.860
the story. But so this happened to you where a
1053
00:43:04.909 --> 00:43:09.110
ghost unbuckled your pants? No, but I was alone in
1054
00:43:09.170 --> 00:43:12.469
a castle north in Grumbledome and a ghost acted out
1055
00:43:12.510 --> 00:43:13.449
that scene for me.
1056
00:43:14.070 --> 00:43:16.670
Which part? Acted out the Dan Aykroyd part? No, just
1057
00:43:16.949 --> 00:43:20.050
the blowjob part. No, but what character was the ghost?
1058
00:43:20.090 --> 00:43:21.550
The ghost that I saw was... The ghost was doing
1059
00:43:21.610 --> 00:43:22.309
both characters?
1060
00:43:22.329 --> 00:43:22.409
Yes.
1061
00:43:22.510 --> 00:43:25.170
The ghost and Dan Aykroyd? Doing both, yeah. Sort of
1062
00:43:25.230 --> 00:43:27.349
switched around. Sorry, was it two ghosts? No, one ghost.
1063
00:43:27.769 --> 00:43:29.320
Oh, one ghost sort of folded on themselves.
1064
00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:31.820
He was like, watch this, watch this. I was like, okay, yeah,
1065
00:43:31.840 --> 00:43:34.019
show me. And he did. He goes, you know Ghostbusters?
1066
00:43:34.199 --> 00:43:36.219
I said, yeah. He said, oh, watch this. And he
1067
00:43:36.260 --> 00:43:39.039
did the, ooh, and then he laid down. And he switched.
1068
00:43:39.079 --> 00:43:41.219
He goes, okay, now I'm doing... He would let me know.
1069
00:43:41.239 --> 00:43:43.889
He'd be, now I'm Aykroyd. And he'd lay down. And
1070
00:43:44.409 --> 00:43:47.150
was the fact that he was a ghost so enticing?
1071
00:43:47.250 --> 00:43:50.429
I'm just saying like if a dude were to come
1072
00:43:50.469 --> 00:43:53.179
up and go, can I act out this scene from Ghostbusters?
1073
00:43:53.500 --> 00:43:55.460
I don't think I would get sexually aroused necessarily.
1074
00:43:55.480 --> 00:43:57.500
You don't know that, though, because this guy, I don't
1075
00:43:57.539 --> 00:43:58.599
think it was because he was a ghost.
1076
00:43:58.619 --> 00:44:03.119
Well, you try it. Sure. All right. I'll tell you
1077
00:44:03.139 --> 00:44:05.440
if there's any. I'm not an actor, but I'll do it. OK.
1078
00:44:05.559 --> 00:44:05.780
OK.
1079
00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:07.760
How are you, by the way? I'm doing good. I'm good.
1080
00:44:08.050 --> 00:44:08.409
Thank you.
1081
00:44:08.590 --> 00:44:11.010
Oh, I loved hearing your story. Thank you. Do you
1082
00:44:11.030 --> 00:44:14.230
guys want to do both parts, or do you want
1083
00:44:14.309 --> 00:44:16.150
Eugene to be in on this? Sure.
1084
00:44:16.190 --> 00:44:18.230
Would you like to be the ghost giving fellatio or
1085
00:44:18.269 --> 00:44:19.730
Dan Aykroyd laying down in the cot?
1086
00:44:19.789 --> 00:44:21.829
It's the $ 20, 000 pyramid question. Do you want to give
1087
00:44:21.889 --> 00:44:23.289
or receive? And by the way, you don't have to
1088
00:44:23.329 --> 00:44:23.670
do either.
1089
00:44:24.449 --> 00:44:26.670
I would do, you know what? Can I do a
1090
00:44:26.710 --> 00:44:27.230
little of each?
1091
00:44:28.670 --> 00:44:29.590
Okay, we'll eat Switch.
1092
00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:34.559
I'll call Switch in the middle of it.
1093
00:44:34.619 --> 00:44:37.309
I'll start doing both parts and then when you say Switch,
1094
00:44:37.349 --> 00:44:38.230
you take over both.
1095
00:44:38.250 --> 00:44:38.969
Okay, great.
1096
00:44:39.659 --> 00:44:41.530
How did you mean it? You're going to do both?
1097
00:44:41.869 --> 00:44:42.809
I don't know what you meant. And then when I
1098
00:44:42.809 --> 00:44:44.010
say switch, he's going to do both?
1099
00:44:44.110 --> 00:44:44.289
Oh, no.
1100
00:44:44.489 --> 00:44:46.269
I want one of you to play one and the
1101
00:44:46.309 --> 00:44:48.429
other play the other. And then when I say switch,
1102
00:44:48.469 --> 00:44:53.389
you switch parts, you fucking lunatic. Sorry, I thought I
1103
00:44:53.429 --> 00:44:55.250
was doing both. Why would you think that? I'm not
1104
00:44:55.289 --> 00:44:56.949
an actor. That's the inside of a broken brain. Look,
1105
00:44:56.969 --> 00:44:59.110
you're the Hollywood game. Being an actor doesn't have anything
1106
00:44:59.150 --> 00:45:01.900
to do with it. Sure, well, I don't know. See,
1107
00:45:02.039 --> 00:45:04.659
I heard they were prickly. Okay, all right, go ahead.
1108
00:45:04.820 --> 00:45:07.519
And obviously, it's fine if we don't remember the scene
1109
00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:08.159
too clearly.
1110
00:45:08.260 --> 00:45:08.679
Sure, no.
1111
00:45:08.719 --> 00:45:11.219
Because I think we've described it enough that I think I'm.
1112
00:45:11.179 --> 00:45:13.579
Going to nail it. Okay, you're going to be the ghost,
1113
00:45:13.659 --> 00:45:15.059
and you're going to be Dan Aykroyd.
1114
00:45:15.099 --> 00:45:15.800
I'm Dan Aykroyd?
1115
00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:17.739
Do you want to get into the part somehow? You
1116
00:45:17.760 --> 00:45:18.320
should start.
1117
00:45:18.360 --> 00:45:19.440
Yeah, you need.
1118
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:19.800
To be Aykroyd.
1119
00:45:19.860 --> 00:45:20.920
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1120
00:45:21.599 --> 00:45:24.440
I'm Dan Aykroyd. Describe what you're wearing.
1121
00:45:24.639 --> 00:45:29.840
I'm wearing a scientist outfit. I'm wearing a ghost jumpsuit.
1122
00:45:31.099 --> 00:45:33.179
And a belt buckle. I definitely have a belt buckle.
1123
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:34.800
It definitely was a belt buckle. I don't think he
1124
00:45:34.820 --> 00:45:36.659
was wearing his full Ghostbusters thing. No, he must have
1125
00:45:36.699 --> 00:45:38.119
had pants on and a shirt.
1126
00:45:38.139 --> 00:45:38.820
Yeah, he must have had pants on.
1127
00:45:38.860 --> 00:45:42.250
He's just one of those guys sleeping in all his clothes.
1128
00:45:42.269 --> 00:45:42.909
With a belt on.
1129
00:45:43.150 --> 00:45:45.190
Exactly, because that's the most comfortable way to sleep.
1130
00:45:45.210 --> 00:45:47.469
And are these things that Dan Aykroyd is saying right now?
1131
00:45:47.849 --> 00:45:48.050
Yeah.
1132
00:45:48.090 --> 00:45:51.320
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Dan Aykroyd. I'm sleeping in my
1133
00:45:51.360 --> 00:45:53.559
pants and belt and shirt, and I'm falling asleep.
1134
00:45:53.579 --> 00:45:55.500
By the way, this is a dream, so it's not
1135
00:45:55.539 --> 00:45:56.460
like he's sleeping in them.
1136
00:45:57.289 --> 00:45:58.329
Oh, he's just lying in there.
1137
00:45:58.510 --> 00:46:00.869
Because he's having the dream where he's not dreaming. He's
1138
00:46:00.929 --> 00:46:02.210
lying down. Oh, I see.
1139
00:46:02.250 --> 00:46:04.369
He's lying down, but he's just, he's not sleeping in
1140
00:46:04.389 --> 00:46:05.030
the dream.
1141
00:46:05.409 --> 00:46:07.469
I think he wakes up and he's probably wearing like
1142
00:46:07.530 --> 00:46:08.449
pajamas or something.
1143
00:46:08.469 --> 00:46:08.710
Okay.
1144
00:46:09.010 --> 00:46:09.150
Great.
1145
00:46:09.170 --> 00:46:09.670
Although I don't remember.
1146
00:46:09.690 --> 00:46:10.829
I'm going to look this up. I don't think they
1147
00:46:10.849 --> 00:46:14.110
show him waking up. I don't know. How do we
1148
00:46:14.130 --> 00:46:14.909
know it's a dream?
1149
00:46:15.050 --> 00:46:16.150
Is this the end of the movie?
1150
00:46:16.230 --> 00:46:17.010
I don't know until today.
1151
00:46:17.030 --> 00:46:18.949
Or was it the Stay Puft Martial Men? Or does
1152
00:46:19.010 --> 00:46:20.659
it just end with like, oh, that was weird.
1153
00:46:21.139 --> 00:46:23.039
I'm going to look up. I honestly didn't know it
1154
00:46:23.059 --> 00:46:24.340
was a dream until right now.
1155
00:46:24.639 --> 00:46:24.800
Yeah.
1156
00:46:25.409 --> 00:46:25.670
Anyway.
1157
00:46:26.610 --> 00:46:30.469
Look, on YouTube, it's Ghostbusters Dream Ghost BJ scene. Okay,
1158
00:46:30.489 --> 00:46:32.320
all right. So that's enough for me.
1159
00:46:33.719 --> 00:46:36.519
This is answering some of my, I wonder how old
1160
00:46:36.539 --> 00:46:37.920
the child has to be to watch Ghostbusters.
1161
00:46:37.940 --> 00:46:39.260
Do you want me to skip ahead and see if
1162
00:46:39.300 --> 00:46:41.559
he wakes up? That'd be great. Okay, just so you
1163
00:46:41.579 --> 00:46:43.679
have all the information. I'd hate to end it wrong.
1164
00:46:44.019 --> 00:46:44.219
Yeah.
1165
00:46:44.639 --> 00:46:47.719
Okay, he's waking up. Oh, no, he is asleep, and
1166
00:46:47.739 --> 00:46:51.360
he's waking up, and he's wearing pants. He's probably knotted off,
1167
00:46:52.079 --> 00:46:52.780
taking a nap.
1168
00:46:52.840 --> 00:46:53.199
Okay, then.
1169
00:46:54.039 --> 00:46:54.900
I forgot how much music was.
1170
00:46:54.920 --> 00:46:56.260
Because he's tired from busting ghosts.
1171
00:46:56.679 --> 00:46:59.829
The ghost is... You see the ghost above, and then
1172
00:46:59.869 --> 00:47:05.730
it turns invisible, opens up his pants, and his eyes cross. Okay, right.
1173
00:47:06.050 --> 00:47:10.409
He falls back in bed, and he's receiving... Oh, and
1174
00:47:10.449 --> 00:47:12.989
then it just ends right there. They don't show him
1175
00:47:13.010 --> 00:47:15.130
waking up then. In this clip.
1176
00:47:15.150 --> 00:47:17.869
They have to. In this clip, they don't, but then
1177
00:47:17.889 --> 00:47:18.269
they might.
1178
00:47:18.329 --> 00:47:20.349
That was a 26 second. Let me watch. Let's see
1179
00:47:20.409 --> 00:47:22.269
if we can find another one. Let's see if we
1180
00:47:22.289 --> 00:47:23.309
can find a 34 second clip. I'd hate to do
1181
00:47:23.329 --> 00:47:28.449
it wrong. Now it's people talking about it? That's not interesting.
1182
00:47:28.699 --> 00:47:29.380
I don't think so.
1183
00:47:30.010 --> 00:47:31.320
All right.
1184
00:47:31.380 --> 00:47:32.019
I'm Dan Aykroyd.
1185
00:47:32.039 --> 00:47:32.639
I'm lying down.
1186
00:47:32.659 --> 00:47:35.500
I'm probably very tired from busting ghosts. I'm wearing pants,
1187
00:47:35.619 --> 00:47:37.300
a belt, and a shirt. Okay.
1188
00:47:38.579 --> 00:47:40.400
I think I have to wait for switch. Isn't that
1189
00:47:40.420 --> 00:47:41.139
what you said you would do?
1190
00:47:41.159 --> 00:47:43.400
God fucking damn it. That's what you said though, right? No,
1191
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:44.980
I said in the middle of the scene, I'm going
1192
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:47.920
to say switch. And then you switch parts. Oh, I
1193
00:47:47.960 --> 00:47:48.539
get it now.
1194
00:47:48.920 --> 00:47:50.159
Holy fucking shit.
1195
00:47:50.179 --> 00:47:54.800
You're exhausting. I apologize. I truly didn't. Just float. Just
1196
00:47:54.840 --> 00:47:55.460
float around.
1197
00:47:57.539 --> 00:47:59.480
Come on.
1198
00:47:59.639 --> 00:48:01.380
Look up here. I'm a ghost.
1199
00:48:01.579 --> 00:48:01.900
Switch.
1200
00:48:03.369 --> 00:48:09.840
I'm the blues brother.
1201
00:48:09.900 --> 00:48:15.539
I'm a cone head. I'm not unseen. You weren't crossing
1202
00:48:15.559 --> 00:48:17.320
your eyes. That's the one note I would give you. Oh,
1203
00:48:17.460 --> 00:48:20.280
I appreciate that. You appreciate my note that you weren't?
1204
00:48:20.300 --> 00:48:20.500
I do.
1205
00:48:20.519 --> 00:48:23.400
Yeah, next time I do it. All right. Well, that
1206
00:48:23.420 --> 00:48:26.139
was good. Thank you. Are you glad I yelled switch
1207
00:48:26.400 --> 00:48:29.659
right before the blowjob sounds you had to make? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1208
00:48:29.699 --> 00:48:30.300
No, it was perfect.
1209
00:48:31.099 --> 00:48:32.860
So how was that? Was that a rap sing to
1210
00:48:32.920 --> 00:48:36.340
anybody here? Oh, that's right. That's why we're doing this.
1211
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:37.639
Yeah.
1212
00:48:37.659 --> 00:48:40.349
Because honestly, we did it much better than the ghost.
1213
00:48:40.250 --> 00:48:43.789
Did it for me.
1214
00:48:44.750 --> 00:48:47.289
I feel like we added a.
1215
00:48:47.429 --> 00:48:47.949
I don't know.
1216
00:48:48.030 --> 00:48:51.860
A level of vermissimilitude. Thank you, versimilitude.
1217
00:48:51.880 --> 00:48:52.860
That's a tough one.
1218
00:48:53.000 --> 00:48:54.920
I can only imagine how many people are going to
1219
00:48:55.079 --> 00:48:57.599
listen to that part over and over in private.
1220
00:48:58.260 --> 00:49:02.099
That'd be a shame. Now, was it arousing? Be honest.
1221
00:49:02.119 --> 00:49:03.780
Don't lie. I'm going to be honest. I was more
1222
00:49:03.820 --> 00:49:07.340
upset with you for not getting the whole concept of
1223
00:49:07.360 --> 00:49:08.630
the switch right. I feel bad because I.
1224
00:49:08.610 --> 00:49:10.389
Think if you weren't so mad at me, it would
1225
00:49:10.409 --> 00:49:11.030
be arousing.
1226
00:49:11.250 --> 00:49:11.449
Yeah.
1227
00:49:11.489 --> 00:49:13.929
We'll never know. All right. It's too bad. I was
1228
00:49:13.969 --> 00:49:14.769
too in the character.
1229
00:49:15.369 --> 00:49:17.500
And so when I was Ackroyd, I did get aroused.
1230
00:49:17.800 --> 00:49:18.159
Okay.
1231
00:49:18.219 --> 00:49:19.119
Yes.
1232
00:49:19.260 --> 00:49:20.889
So you were aroused when you were just doing it?
1233
00:49:20.960 --> 00:49:24.119
Just now. When you were Ackroyd, yeah. Only as Ackroyd. Okay.
1234
00:49:24.219 --> 00:49:26.019
Does that make sense? When you were watching this ghost
1235
00:49:26.139 --> 00:49:28.510
reenact both parts. Right away, he got me. It just
1236
00:49:28.550 --> 00:49:31.849
got you. Well, he was so in it. Yeah. Why
1237
00:49:31.889 --> 00:49:35.210
was he reenacting this for you? I asked him. He
1238
00:49:35.250 --> 00:49:36.510
was like- It was by request.
1239
00:49:36.690 --> 00:49:38.190
Yes, he was like, do you want to know anything
1240
00:49:38.210 --> 00:49:41.630
from beyond- Do you wish to know secrets from your
1241
00:49:41.949 --> 00:49:45.389
dead ma? And I said, hey, have you seen Ghostbusters?
1242
00:49:45.909 --> 00:49:48.969
And he had? He loved it. So he was born
1243
00:49:48.989 --> 00:49:54.590
or he died after 1984. That's right. As a ghost,
1244
00:49:54.630 --> 00:49:57.750
he saw the movie. Oh, he saw it as a ghost. Oh, okay.
1245
00:49:57.789 --> 00:49:58.010
Oh, yeah.
1246
00:49:58.050 --> 00:50:01.860
He died before. Jesus fucking Christ. Get your story straight.
1247
00:50:01.940 --> 00:50:05.019
I'm really sorry. I get why you're so frustrated. So
1248
00:50:05.059 --> 00:50:08.199
he's a ghost and he's watching Ghostbusters over someone's shoulder
1249
00:50:08.300 --> 00:50:10.690
as they're watching it. What other movies does he like?
1250
00:50:10.969 --> 00:50:13.190
He only likes ghost movies, but there are many.
1251
00:50:13.630 --> 00:50:13.829
Yeah.
1252
00:50:13.869 --> 00:50:16.780
There's Ghost. Ghost, of course, is a great one. Ghostbusters 2.
1253
00:50:16.780 --> 00:50:17.050
Yes.
1254
00:50:17.320 --> 00:50:20.059
Sixth Sense. Sixth Sense. Sixth Sense is a ghost movie, yeah.
1255
00:50:20.079 --> 00:50:22.179
Did he have an opinion on Ghostbusters 2 about how
1256
00:50:22.239 --> 00:50:24.559
they have the patches on their uniforms with the ghost
1257
00:50:24.599 --> 00:50:26.219
holding up a 2? That's right. Like they know they're
1258
00:50:26.239 --> 00:50:26.820
in a sequel?
1259
00:50:26.840 --> 00:50:29.340
Yeah, he did. He was very upset. He would have
1260
00:50:29.360 --> 00:50:31.969
loved you because he was really upset at the continuity.
1261
00:50:31.989 --> 00:50:33.849
He would have loved me? Why can't he love me now?
1262
00:50:33.869 --> 00:50:36.469
He's a ghost, right? Is he still a ghost? Oh, what? No,
1263
00:50:36.570 --> 00:50:37.369
I destroyed him.
1264
00:50:38.130 --> 00:50:38.250
Oh.
1265
00:50:38.309 --> 00:50:39.349
This particular ghost.
1266
00:50:39.510 --> 00:50:39.849
Why?
1267
00:50:39.909 --> 00:50:40.449
What does that mean?
1268
00:50:40.550 --> 00:50:44.159
Well, you can, so a ghost is a spirit who
1269
00:50:44.179 --> 00:50:45.739
hasn't moved on to the beyond.
1270
00:50:46.039 --> 00:50:46.260
Yes.
1271
00:50:46.280 --> 00:50:46.679
Okay.
1272
00:50:46.719 --> 00:50:49.670
If you sort of either helped them or sometimes banish them,
1273
00:50:49.710 --> 00:50:52.550
they move on. And in a way, their ghost existence
1274
00:50:52.610 --> 00:50:53.010
is over.
1275
00:50:53.210 --> 00:50:56.869
So you, why the verbiage destroyed him? You banished him?
1276
00:50:56.949 --> 00:50:57.989
I banished him, yeah.
1277
00:50:58.110 --> 00:50:59.860
He was an evil spirit, so to help him move
1278
00:50:59.909 --> 00:51:01.260
on meant he went down to hell. Why do you
1279
00:51:01.300 --> 00:51:03.579
think he was evil? Because he didn't, I mean, he
1280
00:51:03.599 --> 00:51:06.900
got you aroused. He didn't do it good enough for you? No,
1281
00:51:06.960 --> 00:51:09.940
that part was great. He then sort of belittled me,
1282
00:51:10.360 --> 00:51:11.539
and he goes, a real bully.
1283
00:51:12.360 --> 00:51:15.139
Okay. Why, what were you doing to make him act
1284
00:51:15.159 --> 00:51:15.460
like that?
1285
00:51:15.699 --> 00:51:17.420
I was sort of telling him he was a piece
1286
00:51:17.460 --> 00:51:20.530
of shit. And he got mad at me about it.
1287
00:51:20.530 --> 00:51:22.150
And he sort of said, well, you got a small dick.
1288
00:51:22.230 --> 00:51:25.949
Why were you telling him? Okay. Number one. Why were
1289
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:27.460
you telling him that he was a piece of shit?
1290
00:51:28.079 --> 00:51:30.119
He's done this thing for you. He's acted out this scene.
1291
00:51:30.239 --> 00:51:34.219
Well, he started criticizing Ghostbusters. He started with the two
1292
00:51:34.719 --> 00:51:36.139
patch thing. And then he was sort of like the
1293
00:51:36.199 --> 00:51:39.750
first one really is uneven. And it jumps around. It goes,
1294
00:51:39.789 --> 00:51:42.349
the pace is all wrong. If you're not already worshiping
1295
00:51:42.389 --> 00:51:43.809
Bill Murray, it's not a good movie.
1296
00:51:43.849 --> 00:51:44.130
Okay.
1297
00:51:44.190 --> 00:51:45.750
So then you say you're a piece of shit. You're
1298
00:51:45.769 --> 00:51:48.039
a piece of shit. You shouldn't be criticizing. You know,
1299
00:51:48.059 --> 00:51:49.980
it's so hard to make a movie. And then he
1300
00:51:50.019 --> 00:51:51.840
says you have a small dick. That's right. Has he
1301
00:51:51.860 --> 00:51:53.960
seen it because you are aroused at this point and
1302
00:51:53.980 --> 00:51:59.179
you've taken it out? I took it out. And you
1303
00:51:59.199 --> 00:52:01.690
were manipulating it or what exactly were you?
1304
00:52:01.699 --> 00:52:02.050
Not at all.
1305
00:52:02.760 --> 00:52:04.110
So you just took it out and it was.
1306
00:52:04.130 --> 00:52:06.630
I said, the performance is so good, you got me
1307
00:52:06.690 --> 00:52:07.210
turned on.
1308
00:52:07.250 --> 00:52:09.750
He said, no way. I said, take a look. You
1309
00:52:09.789 --> 00:52:11.909
took it out to show him. That's right. He sees
1310
00:52:11.989 --> 00:52:14.409
that you have... And this is you admitting. That's right.
1311
00:52:14.429 --> 00:52:15.650
And I was like, and this is because you're such
1312
00:52:15.670 --> 00:52:18.190
a good actor. I said, you could have been in Ghostbusters.
1313
00:52:18.210 --> 00:52:20.789
He said, who cares? The movie sucks. That's not what
1314
00:52:20.829 --> 00:52:22.489
I was saying you were admitting. I'm saying you're admitting
1315
00:52:22.510 --> 00:52:24.179
that you have a small penis. That's right.
1316
00:52:24.260 --> 00:52:24.519
Oh, no.
1317
00:52:24.559 --> 00:52:24.760
Yes.
1318
00:52:25.019 --> 00:52:29.340
Okay. I absolutely do. How small? Well, you know, subjective,
1319
00:52:29.360 --> 00:52:33.219
of course. You want inches. Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying
1320
00:52:33.260 --> 00:52:35.170
what's the general feeling of how small it is.
1321
00:52:35.409 --> 00:52:35.550
Oh.
1322
00:52:35.869 --> 00:52:38.489
Yeah, I mean, from, you know— I don't know the
1323
00:52:38.550 --> 00:52:42.030
conversion from metric to— I think it's about three.
1324
00:52:42.969 --> 00:52:45.769
Three— Three inches. Oh, okay, okay.
1325
00:52:45.789 --> 00:52:45.889
Yeah.
1326
00:52:45.909 --> 00:52:48.969
I mean, that's, you know— Fully engorged. It's respectable. How
1327
00:52:48.989 --> 00:52:49.889
about when it's flaccid?
1328
00:52:50.179 --> 00:52:50.389
Half.
1329
00:52:50.409 --> 00:52:55.380
Four inches. Four inches. Wouldn't that be something? Wouldn't that
1330
00:52:55.420 --> 00:52:56.420
be something?
1331
00:52:56.440 --> 00:52:58.610
The man with the magic shrinking penis!
1332
00:53:01.230 --> 00:53:04.349
Well, this, I mean, look, this is an incredible story. Now,
1333
00:53:04.369 --> 00:53:07.409
I know you wanted to say something about the tours
1334
00:53:07.449 --> 00:53:08.949
that you get. Well, just that's what I do, you know.
1335
00:53:08.989 --> 00:53:09.960
So I'm here to promote them.
1336
00:53:10.219 --> 00:53:10.480
Okay.
1337
00:53:10.579 --> 00:53:12.079
So if you're on the island of Grumbledome, come and
1338
00:53:12.099 --> 00:53:14.039
look me up. I'll give you a tour. And is
1339
00:53:14.059 --> 00:53:16.260
there any other kind of reason a tourist would go
1340
00:53:16.280 --> 00:53:21.300
to Grumbledome? The hills, it's beautiful. There's hills everywhere, though.
1341
00:53:21.659 --> 00:53:24.070
Okay, well, it's a beautiful, you know, people go to
1342
00:53:24.150 --> 00:53:26.769
Ireland to see the majesty of nature, you know, and
1343
00:53:26.789 --> 00:53:27.510
it's a lovely place.
1344
00:53:27.650 --> 00:53:30.480
It's a lovely island. You'd love it, Scott. What about leprechauns?
1345
00:53:30.500 --> 00:53:32.789
You ever see one of those? Sure, many times. Okay,
1346
00:53:32.829 --> 00:53:36.630
that's separate. Okay, all right. You brought it up. I
1347
00:53:36.670 --> 00:53:38.530
know I brought it up. It's very cold. Everyone in
1348
00:53:38.590 --> 00:53:41.000
Ireland has seen leprechauns. Have you ever gotten to the
1349
00:53:41.039 --> 00:53:42.760
end of the rainbow and got a pot of gold
1350
00:53:42.800 --> 00:53:44.280
and all that? Well, I've seen it. I haven't got
1351
00:53:44.320 --> 00:53:47.239
my own. It's rude. It belongs to them. Yeah, yeah.
1352
00:53:47.360 --> 00:53:49.059
You're not supposed to take it. I thought that if
1353
00:53:49.909 --> 00:53:52.389
you got to the end of the rainbow... You earned it. Yeah,
1354
00:53:52.409 --> 00:53:54.190
you earned it. That's what I thought. But they were
1355
00:53:54.210 --> 00:53:55.409
just like... That's the first.
1356
00:53:55.489 --> 00:53:57.989
It's like a taskmaster. It's all these things... You got
1357
00:53:58.010 --> 00:53:59.070
to do after you get there.
1358
00:53:59.090 --> 00:54:00.610
I guess it's sort of like breaking into someone's house
1359
00:54:00.630 --> 00:54:02.980
going like, I earned it. Let me have all your stuff.
1360
00:54:03.199 --> 00:54:03.760
Exactly.
1361
00:54:03.800 --> 00:54:04.019
Yeah.
1362
00:54:04.059 --> 00:54:05.659
So they're sort of like, well, no, it's still ours.
1363
00:54:05.739 --> 00:54:09.099
Are there ghosts of leprechauns? Yes, there are. Yeah, of course.
1364
00:54:09.539 --> 00:54:09.780
Wow.
1365
00:54:11.119 --> 00:54:11.739
Well, that's that.
1366
00:54:12.119 --> 00:54:12.380
Yeah.
1367
00:54:12.559 --> 00:54:14.739
That's cool. Can you think, I mean, there must be
1368
00:54:14.780 --> 00:54:17.070
ghosts of everything, like a vampire. Anything living.
1369
00:54:17.369 --> 00:54:17.570
Yeah.
1370
00:54:17.809 --> 00:54:18.070
Yeah.
1371
00:54:18.429 --> 00:54:20.480
Oh, ghost cat. A ghost cat, yeah. To be a
1372
00:54:20.500 --> 00:54:20.880
ghost cat, yeah.
1373
00:54:20.900 --> 00:54:21.179
Ghost vampire.
1374
00:54:21.199 --> 00:54:23.420
Yeah, do animals have to be ghosts? Like cockroaches? Oh yeah,
1375
00:54:23.440 --> 00:54:26.059
every animal's a ghost. Flies? Yep. Mosquitoes?
1376
00:54:26.340 --> 00:54:31.250
Sure, but most of them move on. They move on
1377
00:54:31.289 --> 00:54:35.150
to what, mosquito heaven? Sure, yeah.
1378
00:54:35.289 --> 00:54:38.389
Is heaven segregated by species? Segregated by species, that's right.
1379
00:54:38.550 --> 00:54:41.139
So there's a lot of... A lot of heavens.
1380
00:54:41.239 --> 00:54:43.599
So I bet there's a man heaven and a woman heaven.
1381
00:54:44.159 --> 00:54:46.739
You know what I mean? I bet. I bet there is.
1382
00:54:47.360 --> 00:54:49.699
I bet there is. There's certainly like a... It seems
1383
00:54:49.719 --> 00:54:51.530
like you would know because you talk to ghosts. Well,
1384
00:54:51.550 --> 00:54:53.170
I only see when they're here, you know, we don't know.
1385
00:54:53.309 --> 00:54:55.070
Even they don't know. They don't know because they haven't
1386
00:54:55.090 --> 00:54:55.630
moved on yet.
1387
00:54:55.650 --> 00:54:55.989
That's great.
1388
00:54:56.010 --> 00:54:59.489
Then why was this one ghost who reenacted this pivotal
1389
00:54:59.530 --> 00:55:02.650
scene from Ghostbusters saying that he could relay information to
1390
00:55:02.690 --> 00:55:03.409
you from beyond?
1391
00:55:03.670 --> 00:55:06.840
He talked to other ghosts of relatives of mine who
1392
00:55:06.880 --> 00:55:07.530
hadn't moved on.
1393
00:55:08.320 --> 00:55:11.539
I see. I understand. So my mother, for example, died
1394
00:55:11.559 --> 00:55:13.360
when I was just a young boy. How young?
1395
00:55:13.360 --> 00:55:14.039
32.
1396
00:55:14.039 --> 00:55:18.070
I thought you were about to say 13.
1397
00:55:18.070 --> 00:55:18.360
32.
1398
00:55:18.360 --> 00:55:22.159
I mean, 32, you're old enough. It's a tragedy. Don't
1399
00:55:22.179 --> 00:55:23.079
get me wrong. Of course.
1400
00:55:23.139 --> 00:55:23.360
Yes.
1401
00:55:23.480 --> 00:55:25.059
You're old enough to be able to process it. She
1402
00:55:25.079 --> 00:55:27.739
wasn't great. To be honest. Okay, really. But sure, still,
1403
00:55:27.780 --> 00:55:29.380
she shouldn't have. Why was she not great? Would she
1404
00:55:29.440 --> 00:55:32.599
criticize Ghostbusters? Yes, that's right. She would sort of be like,
1405
00:55:32.619 --> 00:55:34.019
you're a know-it-all, you know, and I'd be like, you
1406
00:55:34.059 --> 00:55:34.420
know what?
1407
00:55:34.760 --> 00:55:35.599
I think you're not great.
1408
00:55:35.860 --> 00:55:37.699
Yeah, you're a piece of shit. Would she say you
1409
00:55:37.719 --> 00:55:39.159
have a small penis? She did.
1410
00:55:39.380 --> 00:55:39.599
Yeah.
1411
00:55:39.679 --> 00:55:41.980
Which I feel was her purview, you know, as my mother.
1412
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:43.719
She's the one who created it. That's right. Some could
1413
00:55:43.760 --> 00:55:46.949
say it's her fault. That's right. You know, you're... Thanks
1414
00:55:46.989 --> 00:55:49.289
a lot. You think there are exercises that a mother
1415
00:55:49.389 --> 00:55:53.230
could do to make a child's penis bigger? I imagine, yes.
1416
00:55:53.449 --> 00:55:56.070
You know, like just stretch it out every morning? Maybe
1417
00:55:56.090 --> 00:55:56.949
even just sort it out.
1418
00:55:58.809 --> 00:55:59.050
Yeah.
1419
00:55:59.989 --> 00:56:01.590
Could be. I mean, I couldn't hurt.
1420
00:56:01.710 --> 00:56:01.949
Right.
1421
00:56:02.469 --> 00:56:04.949
It's interesting to think of how many people in the
1422
00:56:04.989 --> 00:56:07.369
world there are and how we would never have an
1423
00:56:07.409 --> 00:56:09.469
answer to this question because of.
1424
00:56:09.969 --> 00:56:12.469
I take what enough ultrasounds and sort of kegels you
1425
00:56:12.489 --> 00:56:15.159
could maneuver the fetus within you to sort of stretch.
1426
00:56:15.480 --> 00:56:15.920
Yeah.
1427
00:56:15.980 --> 00:56:18.719
Stretch out before the birth. Yeah. That's interesting. Like like
1428
00:56:18.860 --> 00:56:20.940
there must be some sort of like spirit gum or something.
1429
00:56:20.980 --> 00:56:22.900
You could stick it to one side of the uterus
1430
00:56:22.940 --> 00:56:24.599
and then like gum. You know what I mean?
1431
00:56:25.119 --> 00:56:26.179
Isn't that oddly named?
1432
00:56:26.300 --> 00:56:28.619
Isn't that funny? Spirit gum. And you're a guy who's
1433
00:56:28.639 --> 00:56:30.340
a ghost expert. It's got nothing to do with ghosts.
1434
00:56:30.360 --> 00:56:33.449
Spirit gum. Although, you know, would I mind seeing a
1435
00:56:33.469 --> 00:56:36.030
ghost with a big beard attached to his face? It'd
1436
00:56:36.050 --> 00:56:36.710
be hilarious.
1437
00:56:36.769 --> 00:56:36.989
Yeah.
1438
00:56:37.389 --> 00:56:39.190
Ghosts are very funny. Yeah?
1439
00:56:39.489 --> 00:56:39.590
Sure.
1440
00:56:39.610 --> 00:56:41.409
What's the funniest thing that you've ever seen a ghost do?
1441
00:56:41.489 --> 00:56:43.250
You want me just to immediately come up with the
1442
00:56:43.329 --> 00:56:44.329
number one? Come up with?
1443
00:56:44.429 --> 00:56:45.090
What do you mean?
1444
00:56:45.139 --> 00:56:48.679
I mean, you had to have ranked this probably. Of course. No,
1445
00:56:48.679 --> 00:56:49.719
in your life. Yes.
1446
00:56:50.739 --> 00:56:51.800
Easy for me to tell you.
1447
00:56:51.820 --> 00:56:52.179
Yeah.
1448
00:56:52.239 --> 00:56:54.199
The funniest thing I ever saw a ghost do.
1449
00:56:54.480 --> 00:56:54.699
Mm-hmm.
1450
00:56:55.110 --> 00:56:58.539
The Mary Tyler Moore funeral scene with the clown. The
1451
00:56:58.599 --> 00:56:59.420
reenactment of this?
1452
00:56:59.440 --> 00:57:00.070
Yeah, they did it.
1453
00:57:00.079 --> 00:57:03.219
These guys are huge pop culture fans. And I'd never
1454
00:57:03.300 --> 00:57:05.480
seen the episode. But when I saw them do it.
1455
00:57:05.480 --> 00:57:07.900
I've seen that part, though, on clips. Is that right?
1456
00:57:08.059 --> 00:57:09.699
You get the gist. That's all I've seen is the
1457
00:57:09.760 --> 00:57:11.570
ghost doing it. You know what we're talking about, Eugene.
1458
00:57:11.610 --> 00:57:16.110
The Mary Tyler Moore clown funeral. She just starts laughing
1459
00:57:16.269 --> 00:57:18.929
at it. That's right. They can't get through the funeral
1460
00:57:18.949 --> 00:57:21.250
without laughing at how ridiculous it is. And then when they.
1461
00:57:21.880 --> 00:57:26.079
The preacher or whoever is running this says- Whoever. Finally
1462
00:57:26.119 --> 00:57:27.980
says like, okay, let it out. Go ahead and laugh.
1463
00:57:28.000 --> 00:57:29.969
Then she bursts into tears because it's so sad.
1464
00:57:30.159 --> 00:57:31.429
Isn't that funny?
1465
00:57:31.630 --> 00:57:33.650
Doesn't comedy play on expectations? Yeah.
1466
00:57:34.010 --> 00:57:35.929
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It sounds very funny.
1467
00:57:35.949 --> 00:57:38.210
That was the funniest thing I saw one do. Oh,
1468
00:57:38.349 --> 00:57:41.750
and I saw a really funny, even better. I was
1469
00:57:41.829 --> 00:57:44.179
mid-fart and a ghost emerged.
1470
00:57:44.480 --> 00:57:48.420
What do you mean you're mid-fart? How long are your farts?
1471
00:57:48.500 --> 00:57:49.400
This was a long one.
1472
00:57:49.519 --> 00:57:53.199
Every fart has a mid. It's, it's, you know, I know,
1473
00:57:53.320 --> 00:57:56.179
but I mean, the fact that 0.5 seconds or two seconds,
1474
00:57:56.300 --> 00:57:56.679
the fact.
1475
00:57:56.559 --> 00:57:58.949
That something is able to occur in the middle of
1476
00:57:59.050 --> 00:58:00.849
one of your farts. Well, I was holding it for
1477
00:58:00.889 --> 00:58:03.050
a while. So I was, I don't care. Well, that's
1478
00:58:03.170 --> 00:58:05.309
meant I was very conscious of when it started.
1479
00:58:05.369 --> 00:58:05.929
I'm interested.
1480
00:58:05.949 --> 00:58:08.309
I was, I was on a tour and I was
1481
00:58:08.389 --> 00:58:10.710
holding in a big fart and I said, Oh, I
1482
00:58:10.750 --> 00:58:12.110
just get to the end, you know, and then fart
1483
00:58:12.150 --> 00:58:14.690
in private. I was like, Oh, I can't, I can't anymore.
1484
00:58:15.320 --> 00:58:18.300
Maybe to be quiet, you know, hope maybe won't be
1485
00:58:18.360 --> 00:58:19.920
so much. And I sort of like, I'll just try
1486
00:58:19.940 --> 00:58:23.340
to quick. pushed through it and i started the fart
1487
00:58:23.380 --> 00:58:26.300
and it was tremendous so at least 10 seconds long
1488
00:58:26.420 --> 00:58:30.079
wow just a fluttery sort of ting and mid mid
1489
00:58:30.320 --> 00:58:32.219
fart a ghost showed up and said i'll have what
1490
00:58:32.239 --> 00:58:35.960
he's having i thought that was so funny.
1491
00:58:36.159 --> 00:58:36.780
I mean.
1492
00:58:38.159 --> 00:58:40.480
It's not a bad thing to say after it's so
1493
00:58:40.500 --> 00:58:42.539
funny you're a ghost or not it was great it's
1494
00:58:42.559 --> 00:58:45.239
pretty funny and then he left then he left okay
1495
00:58:45.260 --> 00:58:48.010
never so it's a shame But anyway. But they must
1496
00:58:48.030 --> 00:58:49.750
have gotten a thrill on that tour to see something
1497
00:58:49.789 --> 00:58:51.150
like that. They loved it. It's like a whale watch.
1498
00:58:51.190 --> 00:58:52.909
You go on and you hope to see a ghost.
1499
00:58:52.929 --> 00:58:54.909
You just hope to, yeah. But you don't know. You
1500
00:58:54.949 --> 00:58:56.469
never know. But they did. They saw one make fun
1501
00:58:56.510 --> 00:58:57.070
of me farting.
1502
00:58:57.090 --> 00:58:57.409
Boy, did he.
1503
00:58:57.429 --> 00:59:02.449
Incredible. Well, Devin Green. Green Glove. Green Glove? What? I'm
1504
00:59:02.489 --> 00:59:03.889
so sorry. It's Devin Green Glove.
1505
00:59:04.230 --> 00:59:04.349
Oh.
1506
00:59:04.969 --> 00:59:09.630
I said it wrong. Green Glove. Your name is Devin
1507
00:59:09.650 --> 00:59:09.949
Green Glove.
1508
00:59:10.019 --> 00:59:10.260
Glove.
1509
00:59:10.539 --> 00:59:12.420
My name is Devin Green Glove. Weird way to go
1510
00:59:12.599 --> 00:59:15.340
out on this interview is to be correcting me about
1511
00:59:15.380 --> 00:59:17.110
the name that you gave me. I wasn't listening. Yes,
1512
00:59:17.139 --> 00:59:18.409
that's my fault. I'm sorry.
1513
00:59:18.690 --> 00:59:18.989
All right.
1514
00:59:19.130 --> 00:59:21.349
Devin Green Glove. Wonderful to have you here. Can you
1515
00:59:21.369 --> 00:59:24.610
stick around? Sure. Does that upset you? Does it upset me?
1516
00:59:24.730 --> 00:59:24.829
Yes.
1517
00:59:26.929 --> 00:59:28.690
I'm not upset about anything. That's not true. I don't
1518
00:59:28.710 --> 00:59:30.469
give a shit whether you live or die. Okay, now
1519
00:59:30.530 --> 00:59:33.719
hold on. You're not like my friend Eugene. I just
1520
00:59:33.780 --> 00:59:37.119
met you. Sure, okay, I get that. Eugene, you know,
1521
00:59:37.159 --> 00:59:39.360
we were talking about your situation. Yeah, we have a relationship.
1522
00:59:39.619 --> 00:59:41.840
Your peers. I don't give one shit about two fucks
1523
00:59:41.880 --> 00:59:43.780
about you. Okay, I get that. That makes sense. Well,
1524
00:59:43.800 --> 00:59:45.079
I'm glad I haven't upset you.
1525
00:59:45.280 --> 00:59:45.760
Okay, good.
1526
00:59:45.900 --> 00:59:47.619
But it's Devin Greenglove and it's my fault you got.
1527
00:59:47.679 --> 00:59:49.969
I'm so sorry. All right, well, I'm glad we cleared
1528
00:59:50.010 --> 00:59:53.210
that up right on the dismount. Devin Greenglove, it's wonderful
1529
00:59:53.230 --> 00:59:55.010
to have you on. Can you stick around? Sure, I
1530
00:59:55.030 --> 00:59:56.570
got nothing to do. We have a bird coming up.
1531
00:59:56.909 --> 01:00:00.449
Is that something? Yep. We're going to be right back
1532
01:00:00.510 --> 01:00:03.690
with more Eugene Merman, more Devin Green glove. We'll be
1533
01:00:03.730 --> 01:00:05.849
right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.
1534
01:00:08.380 --> 01:00:11.099
The Chemist's Warehouse Fall Frenzy Mega Sale is now live.
1535
01:00:11.260 --> 01:00:13.519
Find up to half price off RRP on big brands
1536
01:00:13.659 --> 01:00:16.760
like John Frieda, Batiste and Aussie Hair Care or Solgar,
1537
01:00:16.780 --> 01:00:19.110
Meet Today and Chewy Bites Vitamins. And find up to
1538
01:00:19.139 --> 01:00:23.269
half price off RRP on Emco Beauty, W7 and Rimmel Cosmetics.
1539
01:00:23.409 --> 01:00:26.530
But hurry, sale must end September 20. Chemist's Warehouse, great
1540
01:00:26.590 --> 01:00:27.710
savings every day.
1541
01:00:29.570 --> 01:00:33.409
Treacherous ring roads lie ahead on our mission to reach Nannas.
1542
01:00:33.800 --> 01:00:34.179
We must.
1543
01:00:34.199 --> 01:00:36.840
Go to Mackey's for black pepper and garlic McNuggets.
1544
01:00:37.260 --> 01:00:38.460
Navigation rerouting.
1545
01:00:39.239 --> 01:00:42.039
The main mission can wait. Take a side mission to McDonald's.
1546
01:00:43.639 --> 01:00:46.360
Available until the 29th of September from 11am. Wastock's last
1547
01:00:46.380 --> 01:00:48.099
subject of availability participation varies.
1548
01:00:49.179 --> 01:00:52.230
It's not easy to get to Rathdal. But it's also
1549
01:00:52.269 --> 01:00:56.059
hard to get to the Oiler Hackeyacht. The service will
1550
01:00:56.079 --> 01:00:59.260
now be available to those who are interested in making
1551
01:00:59.280 --> 01:01:02.599
the most of their time at home. With the help
1552
01:01:02.639 --> 01:01:06.119
of two or three people in each house, it's easy
1553
01:01:06.139 --> 01:01:10.090
to get in touch with people from all over the world.
1554
01:01:10.889 --> 01:01:12.889
And don't be afraid if you don't know where you're going.
1555
01:01:12.909 --> 01:01:16.449
Go to www.nh.gov.ie to find out how you can help.
1556
01:01:16.469 --> 01:01:25.349
The most important thing. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Eugene
1557
01:01:25.369 --> 01:01:27.800
Merman is here. Here comes the whimsy. Is the special
1558
01:01:27.820 --> 01:01:29.690
available for one and all?
1559
01:01:36.989 --> 01:01:41.030
On YouTube.com. Is there a specific URL for it?
1560
01:01:42.139 --> 01:01:44.360
I'm sure there is, but I don't know the URL.
1561
01:01:44.480 --> 01:01:46.579
Does it have percentages in it?
1562
01:01:46.639 --> 01:01:48.820
If you go to Pretty Good Friends, which is our
1563
01:01:49.019 --> 01:01:50.260
record label, that's where.
1564
01:01:50.300 --> 01:01:52.159
Look, I didn't have any trouble. I just put in,
1565
01:01:52.199 --> 01:01:53.039
here comes the whimsy.
1566
01:01:53.079 --> 01:01:55.019
Yeah, there's probably not a ton of... It's not like, oh,
1567
01:01:55.079 --> 01:01:59.440
is it Eugene's or the Aerosmith album? Like, which one
1568
01:01:59.480 --> 01:02:01.280
of these two Massachusetts things?
1569
01:02:01.860 --> 01:02:03.250
Oh, that's right. They're from Boston.
1570
01:02:03.329 --> 01:02:04.590
Yeah. Yeah.
1571
01:02:04.769 --> 01:02:05.650
Me and them, and that's it.
1572
01:02:06.039 --> 01:02:08.820
Yep, no one else interesting. No one else. We also
1573
01:02:08.840 --> 01:02:11.619
have Devin Green Glove, who's here, a ghost expert.
1574
01:02:11.719 --> 01:02:11.900
Hello.
1575
01:02:12.039 --> 01:02:13.510
And are there any ghosts around here?
1576
01:02:13.530 --> 01:02:15.530
I don't see any right now, but I'll let you know.
1577
01:02:15.730 --> 01:02:18.510
All right, let us know. Okay. We need to get
1578
01:02:18.530 --> 01:02:22.719
to our next guest. This is a returning guest, been
1579
01:02:22.739 --> 01:02:26.119
on the show before. He is a seagull. Please welcome
1580
01:02:26.219 --> 01:02:27.019
Louie Pentano.
1581
01:02:27.420 --> 01:02:29.539
Oh, my God, Scott. Thank you so much for having
1582
01:02:29.579 --> 01:02:29.960
me back.
1583
01:02:30.179 --> 01:02:31.159
I am desperate.
1584
01:02:31.559 --> 01:02:31.889
Thank you.
1585
01:02:32.219 --> 01:02:34.250
Yes, it's so good to see you. You are, of course,
1586
01:02:34.309 --> 01:02:37.130
a seagull that we have talked to once before. A
1587
01:02:37.130 --> 01:02:40.489
couple times, I think. A couple of times. You inspired
1588
01:02:40.550 --> 01:02:44.360
the T-shirt that we've sold starring your likeness.
1589
01:02:44.920 --> 01:02:45.039
Yeah.
1590
01:02:45.139 --> 01:02:47.559
I guess a T-shirt, you're not starring in a T-shirt.
1591
01:02:47.599 --> 01:02:48.639
I mean, I'm on the T-shirt.
1592
01:02:49.019 --> 01:02:50.820
Yeah, and what does it say on it?
1593
01:02:50.860 --> 01:02:53.500
Something with french fries and choking on them or something.
1594
01:02:53.539 --> 01:02:53.860
I don't know.
1595
01:02:53.900 --> 01:02:55.409
It was my big break. It's like my neck, my back.
1596
01:02:55.739 --> 01:02:57.289
This is the way I like to snack. Is that
1597
01:02:57.329 --> 01:02:57.710
what it is?
1598
01:02:57.869 --> 01:02:59.230
Something like that, Scott.
1599
01:02:59.389 --> 01:03:02.429
A limited edition t-shirt, but you're back now.
1600
01:03:02.510 --> 01:03:02.769
Yes.
1601
01:03:02.849 --> 01:03:03.989
This is Eugene, by the way.
1602
01:03:04.070 --> 01:03:04.420
Hello.
1603
01:03:04.440 --> 01:03:05.119
Hello, Devin.
1604
01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:05.829
Nice to meet you.
1605
01:03:05.840 --> 01:03:06.159
How are you?
1606
01:03:06.679 --> 01:03:08.559
Oh no, this is going to be a tug of
1607
01:03:08.619 --> 01:03:11.460
war of accents. I can feel myself already being pulled.
1608
01:03:11.599 --> 01:03:12.860
You're slipping into this one?
1609
01:03:13.039 --> 01:03:15.420
Yeah, give me five minutes and I'm going to be- Well, mine.
1610
01:03:15.360 --> 01:03:16.980
Tends to go away and make room for yours.
1611
01:03:17.000 --> 01:03:20.460
It's okay. Okay, just say something Boston specific, like how
1612
01:03:20.480 --> 01:03:21.340
do you like them apples?
1613
01:03:21.980 --> 01:03:24.139
The law was very formal in that regard.
1614
01:03:24.159 --> 01:03:24.659
There you go.
1615
01:03:24.780 --> 01:03:26.019
All right, I'm locked back in.
1616
01:03:26.059 --> 01:03:27.900
You're in. It's so great to see you, Louie.
1617
01:03:28.360 --> 01:03:28.780
Thank you.
1618
01:03:28.860 --> 01:03:31.869
What's going on in the seagull trade these days?
1619
01:03:31.969 --> 01:03:33.670
Well, as you know, I've been trying to make it
1620
01:03:33.710 --> 01:03:35.409
in show business for quite some time.
1621
01:03:35.510 --> 01:03:38.809
That's right. What were you in? Eugene's been in one
1622
01:03:38.849 --> 01:03:40.800
and a half movies. What have you been in so far?
1623
01:03:40.820 --> 01:03:44.079
I've been flying through the studio of Dancing with the Stars.
1624
01:03:44.820 --> 01:03:47.000
I've just really kind of swooping in trying to get
1625
01:03:47.199 --> 01:03:48.199
my name out there.
1626
01:03:48.219 --> 01:03:50.440
And this is unsanctioned by Dancing with the Stars.
1627
01:03:50.500 --> 01:03:51.280
No, they don't like it.
1628
01:03:51.820 --> 01:03:54.070
They might even say we have a seagull problem somehow
1629
01:03:54.150 --> 01:03:54.710
in the studio.
1630
01:03:54.750 --> 01:03:58.090
They might say that. You should ask them. Scott, my family,
1631
01:03:58.489 --> 01:04:00.650
last time I went home, they said you have to
1632
01:04:00.690 --> 01:04:02.349
make it big or you have to move home.
1633
01:04:02.929 --> 01:04:07.150
No. Are they footing the bill? No pun intended because
1634
01:04:07.929 --> 01:04:08.809
birds have bills.
1635
01:04:09.030 --> 01:04:09.949
Yes. And feet.
1636
01:04:11.639 --> 01:04:12.880
I guess it's a double pun.
1637
01:04:13.019 --> 01:04:17.139
Yes. So this is my Hail Mary. You're my biggest
1638
01:04:17.159 --> 01:04:20.019
show business friend. I'm going to try to.
1639
01:04:20.199 --> 01:04:21.519
Well, you know, Eugene Merman is here.
1640
01:04:21.960 --> 01:04:22.099
Yeah.
1641
01:04:22.179 --> 01:04:25.300
And if I were to crash into a toll booth
1642
01:04:25.559 --> 01:04:26.960
in a fiery thing, I don't think I would get
1643
01:04:27.019 --> 01:04:29.900
a TMZ article about me.
1644
01:04:30.260 --> 01:04:31.159
I think you would.
1645
01:04:31.260 --> 01:04:33.309
I think you'd be surprised how interested they.
1646
01:04:33.340 --> 01:04:37.139
Are in any... I don't think it would make national
1647
01:04:37.179 --> 01:04:38.679
news for several days, though.
1648
01:04:39.320 --> 01:04:40.840
Mine didn't for several days because it took people a
1649
01:04:40.860 --> 01:04:43.070
few days to realize that I was in the car.
1650
01:04:43.090 --> 01:04:44.530
I think people would care, Scott.
1651
01:04:44.550 --> 01:04:45.289
Yeah, they would really care.
1652
01:04:45.309 --> 01:04:47.590
I'm not saying people wouldn't care.
1653
01:04:47.829 --> 01:04:49.920
And I know this sensibly, but try it?
1654
01:04:50.150 --> 01:04:50.489
Yeah.
1655
01:04:50.730 --> 01:04:52.960
Can you give me some tips?
1656
01:04:53.039 --> 01:04:54.159
Yeah, yeah.
1657
01:04:54.820 --> 01:04:56.119
That's the one thing I can't do. I'd be like,
1658
01:04:56.139 --> 01:04:58.699
I guess drive quickly. But I guess what I'm saying
1659
01:04:58.760 --> 01:05:00.579
is Eugene has more pull than I. I mean, he's
1660
01:05:00.659 --> 01:05:01.860
on a show currently.
1661
01:05:01.960 --> 01:05:02.159
Right.
1662
01:05:02.280 --> 01:05:05.139
Oh, I could be your understudy. Are they looking for
1663
01:05:05.199 --> 01:05:06.159
a Gene understudy?
1664
01:05:06.760 --> 01:05:09.880
I don't know because of how I'm not. I don't hire.
1665
01:05:09.900 --> 01:05:12.039
Here's my audition.
1666
01:05:12.099 --> 01:05:15.460
I'm not part of the casting. But I'll definitely say, hey,
1667
01:05:15.500 --> 01:05:19.300
I met a really great seagull that if we need
1668
01:05:19.340 --> 01:05:23.130
a seagull that's from Boston, you know, show.
1669
01:05:23.190 --> 01:05:24.969
You're Gene? Are you Gene?
1670
01:05:25.010 --> 01:05:25.309
Okay.
1671
01:05:25.349 --> 01:05:25.909
I could do Gene.
1672
01:05:25.949 --> 01:05:26.530
Yeah.
1673
01:05:26.829 --> 01:05:27.190
Let's see it.
1674
01:05:28.110 --> 01:05:29.380
This is me now.
1675
01:05:30.579 --> 01:05:31.800
I would say pretty good. Yeah.
1676
01:05:32.079 --> 01:05:34.199
Pretty good. And that's your catchphrase on the show.
1677
01:05:34.719 --> 01:05:36.460
I think I said it in one episode, but certainly
1678
01:05:36.500 --> 01:05:39.000
people appreciate it and say it a lot.
1679
01:05:39.280 --> 01:05:41.409
Why don't you throw it in a couple more times
1680
01:05:41.489 --> 01:05:43.329
so it could be like dough or whatever, you know?
1681
01:05:44.349 --> 01:05:44.670
Okay.
1682
01:05:44.710 --> 01:05:45.349
Who says that?
1683
01:05:47.050 --> 01:05:48.429
It is part of the Simpsons, Homer Simpson.
1684
01:05:48.510 --> 01:05:49.230
I'm not familiar.
1685
01:05:49.250 --> 01:05:49.389
Scott.
1686
01:05:49.409 --> 01:05:51.690
I haven't seen that one. I haven't flown by a
1687
01:05:51.710 --> 01:05:52.789
television when that's playing.
1688
01:05:52.989 --> 01:05:56.460
No, not yet. I think I should reboot something.
1689
01:05:57.340 --> 01:06:02.500
I think that's very popular. Ryan Coogler is rebooting The X-Files. Great.
1690
01:06:02.619 --> 01:06:05.030
What other reboots are going on these days? That's about
1691
01:06:05.070 --> 01:06:05.750
all I can think of.
1692
01:06:05.949 --> 01:06:07.949
Right, but what if I bring something back that people
1693
01:06:08.010 --> 01:06:08.670
are maybe missing?
1694
01:06:08.829 --> 01:06:11.269
Like Knight Rider, but it's like a bird in a car?
1695
01:06:11.510 --> 01:06:13.219
Yes, exactly. Or a man and a bird.
1696
01:06:13.800 --> 01:06:14.320
Or, oh my God.
1697
01:06:14.340 --> 01:06:14.840
Well, yeah.
1698
01:06:14.920 --> 01:06:17.699
A man, like a tiny man riding a bird.
1699
01:06:17.739 --> 01:06:18.019
Yeah.
1700
01:06:18.099 --> 01:06:18.239
Right.
1701
01:06:18.280 --> 01:06:19.699
That's like super helpful.
1702
01:06:19.719 --> 01:06:21.119
Yeah. That talks and has like.
1703
01:06:21.139 --> 01:06:22.039
But a computer voice.
1704
01:06:22.159 --> 01:06:24.230
Yeah. Like AI glasses.
1705
01:06:24.289 --> 01:06:24.829
Why not?
1706
01:06:25.010 --> 01:06:26.030
And it can hack anything.
1707
01:06:26.050 --> 01:06:28.090
Yeah. Some of those Ray-Ban, meta Ray-Bans.
1708
01:06:28.150 --> 01:06:28.429
Yeah.
1709
01:06:28.449 --> 01:06:28.710
Maybe.
1710
01:06:28.789 --> 01:06:29.070
Yeah.
1711
01:06:29.289 --> 01:06:30.289
Both of you are wearing them.
1712
01:06:30.369 --> 01:06:32.010
And the show's called Cool Go. Yeah.
1713
01:06:32.570 --> 01:06:33.050
Google.
1714
01:06:33.190 --> 01:06:33.650
Oh, my God.
1715
01:06:33.670 --> 01:06:34.239
Somebody write that down.
1716
01:06:34.260 --> 01:06:35.090
Oh, you know what you should redo?
1717
01:06:35.380 --> 01:06:37.119
Spencer for Hire, set in Boston.
1718
01:06:37.159 --> 01:06:37.699
There you go.
1719
01:06:37.719 --> 01:06:38.599
Yes.
1720
01:06:38.699 --> 01:06:39.300
Yeah.
1721
01:06:39.500 --> 01:06:41.440
We just need a tough bird friend.
1722
01:06:41.599 --> 01:06:44.820
That was a show that primarily concerned it with people
1723
01:06:44.880 --> 01:06:46.699
hiring a guy named Spencer. Is that right?
1724
01:06:46.860 --> 01:06:47.849
Probably to solve things.
1725
01:06:47.909 --> 01:06:48.909
I hope so.
1726
01:06:49.130 --> 01:06:49.329
Yeah.
1727
01:06:49.449 --> 01:06:50.230
Oh, hey, you're still here.
1728
01:06:50.269 --> 01:06:50.610
Yeah.
1729
01:06:50.829 --> 01:06:51.210
That's right.
1730
01:06:51.389 --> 01:06:51.510
Yeah.
1731
01:06:51.530 --> 01:06:53.650
Just enjoying the conversation. How's it going, Devin? Yeah.
1732
01:06:54.329 --> 01:06:54.869
I would, yeah.
1733
01:06:56.179 --> 01:06:57.840
Yeah, Spencer Fry, have you ever seen this?
1734
01:06:58.039 --> 01:06:58.920
No, I'm not familiar.
1735
01:06:59.139 --> 01:07:02.130
Robert Urich, is that right? That's right, yeah. Wasn't he
1736
01:07:02.190 --> 01:07:05.550
on Vegas? He wasn't, yeah, yeah. The television show with
1737
01:07:05.590 --> 01:07:09.219
the dollars. No, I meant on the city. Oh. No,
1738
01:07:09.280 --> 01:07:11.420
I mean, he may have been in it at a
1739
01:07:11.440 --> 01:07:12.280
certain point, but yeah.
1740
01:07:12.559 --> 01:07:14.239
I was thinking more like I could be the next
1741
01:07:14.380 --> 01:07:14.900
Ethan Hunt.
1742
01:07:16.079 --> 01:07:17.260
Oh, Mission Impossible.
1743
01:07:17.280 --> 01:07:20.309
Yeah, they finished that up, right? I could jump out
1744
01:07:20.329 --> 01:07:20.889
of an airplane.
1745
01:07:20.909 --> 01:07:24.230
I mean, they weren't calling it Final Impossible or whatever,
1746
01:07:24.269 --> 01:07:27.110
but I bet it's a lie. I bet they do more. Oh, okay.
1747
01:07:27.170 --> 01:07:28.210
Well, so maybe not that one.
1748
01:07:28.929 --> 01:07:30.110
Oh, I don't mean, but no.
1749
01:07:30.269 --> 01:07:31.469
No, no, I got a long list.
1750
01:07:31.630 --> 01:07:35.940
Maybe you do a Jason Bourne reboot, but it's like Airborne. Okay.
1751
01:07:36.019 --> 01:07:36.860
Or Air Bud.
1752
01:07:37.989 --> 01:07:39.590
Air Bud, but it's a seagull. And they pass me
1753
01:07:39.630 --> 01:07:41.219
the ball and I explode into feathers.
1754
01:07:41.280 --> 01:07:42.920
And there's nothing in the rule book that says you
1755
01:07:42.940 --> 01:07:43.920
can't do that. That's right.
1756
01:07:44.119 --> 01:07:45.739
That a seagull can't play basketball.
1757
01:07:45.780 --> 01:07:48.030
Yeah. Or maybe your beak.
1758
01:07:49.750 --> 01:07:53.389
Punctures the ball and it deflates and everyone's like no.
1759
01:07:53.269 --> 01:07:54.929
Don't insult me i don't want to be in an
1760
01:07:55.010 --> 01:07:57.070
animal movie i'm sorry i don't want them to give
1761
01:07:57.110 --> 01:07:59.460
me peanut butter or whatever to make my mouth move
1762
01:07:59.579 --> 01:08:01.280
from my lines that someone else to be.
1763
01:08:01.280 --> 01:08:03.480
Fair i have been giving you peanut butter this entire
1764
01:08:03.579 --> 01:08:06.079
episode so far.
1765
01:08:06.960 --> 01:08:08.800
It's so good do.
1766
01:08:08.300 --> 01:08:09.840
You want to be seen as a human do you
1767
01:08:09.900 --> 01:08:11.260
identify as human.
1768
01:08:11.019 --> 01:08:13.780
Yes i can i i could play a human no
1769
01:08:13.820 --> 01:08:14.980
problem yeah.
1770
01:08:15.570 --> 01:08:18.510
What they can do with CGI and makeup and special
1771
01:08:18.569 --> 01:08:19.770
effects these days, right?
1772
01:08:19.949 --> 01:08:21.590
I'm going to keep going down my list of reboots.
1773
01:08:21.670 --> 01:08:22.250
Okay, what do we got?
1774
01:08:22.569 --> 01:08:24.609
Well, this one feels a little insensitive to do in
1775
01:08:24.649 --> 01:08:25.310
front of you, Gene.
1776
01:08:25.670 --> 01:08:25.869
Okay.
1777
01:08:25.909 --> 01:08:27.470
Is it the Phantom Tollbooth?
1778
01:08:27.550 --> 01:08:30.329
It's the Phantom Tollbooth. I was thinking of the Phantom Tollbooth.
1779
01:08:30.449 --> 01:08:30.689
Yeah.
1780
01:08:30.810 --> 01:08:31.869
Remember that movie?
1781
01:08:31.890 --> 01:08:34.069
Yeah, you could be like, you call it also the
1782
01:08:34.090 --> 01:08:34.829
Phantom Tollbooth.
1783
01:08:35.029 --> 01:08:35.270
Yeah.
1784
01:08:37.189 --> 01:08:39.090
The Phantom Toolbooth.
1785
01:08:39.109 --> 01:08:40.090
Toolbooth.
1786
01:08:40.170 --> 01:08:40.390
Yeah.
1787
01:08:40.710 --> 01:08:41.949
What about the Phantom Toolbox?
1788
01:08:43.000 --> 01:08:45.399
I feel like we're getting far away from the content.
1789
01:08:44.979 --> 01:08:46.920
Of the original thing. What about just regular toolbox?
1790
01:08:48.319 --> 01:08:49.659
What are we talking about, Scott?
1791
01:08:49.979 --> 01:08:50.340
Come on.
1792
01:08:50.359 --> 01:08:50.840
I don't know.
1793
01:08:50.859 --> 01:08:52.659
This is serious, Scott. I have to move back home
1794
01:08:52.729 --> 01:08:53.409
if I don't get this.
1795
01:08:53.550 --> 01:08:53.869
I'm sorry.
1796
01:08:53.949 --> 01:08:54.770
This is serious.
1797
01:08:55.029 --> 01:08:56.909
You don't want to move back home because it's a
1798
01:08:56.949 --> 01:08:57.970
crowded nest or.
1799
01:08:58.229 --> 01:09:01.319
Yeah, well, yeah, I don't... To go back to just, like,
1800
01:09:01.520 --> 01:09:04.500
terrorizing people on Cape Cod for their french fries.
1801
01:09:04.520 --> 01:09:06.619
Are singles in nests, by the way, or do they
1802
01:09:06.640 --> 01:09:07.640
just fly around until they.
1803
01:09:07.659 --> 01:09:09.399
They just fly around trying to get your sandwich.
1804
01:09:09.579 --> 01:09:09.930
Yeah.
1805
01:09:10.470 --> 01:09:10.649
Yeah.
1806
01:09:11.090 --> 01:09:12.109
I mean, we do more than that.
1807
01:09:12.529 --> 01:09:12.850
Sorry.
1808
01:09:12.890 --> 01:09:13.989
We try to also get, like.
1809
01:09:14.010 --> 01:09:15.470
Yeah, we don't mean to be reductive, but.
1810
01:09:15.489 --> 01:09:17.590
What if you got on a sort of reality show,
1811
01:09:17.630 --> 01:09:18.979
you know, maybe like a.
1812
01:09:19.869 --> 01:09:20.350
The voice.
1813
01:09:21.109 --> 01:09:23.350
Oh, oh my gosh. Would you guys turn your chairs
1814
01:09:23.390 --> 01:09:23.930
around for me?
1815
01:09:24.409 --> 01:09:26.729
Sure. I mean, we could reenact it right here.
1816
01:09:27.010 --> 01:09:28.149
Oh yeah.
1817
01:09:28.369 --> 01:09:28.590
Yeah.
1818
01:09:28.689 --> 01:09:28.869
Yeah.
1819
01:09:28.890 --> 01:09:29.930
Let's turn our chairs around.
1820
01:09:29.949 --> 01:09:30.520
Okay.
1821
01:09:30.649 --> 01:09:30.979
Eugene.
1822
01:09:31.029 --> 01:09:31.310
Okay.
1823
01:09:31.350 --> 01:09:33.180
And let's, let's, uh, and Devin.
1824
01:09:33.199 --> 01:09:33.460
Yeah.
1825
01:09:33.659 --> 01:09:35.619
Go ahead. Turn your chair. You got a chore.
1826
01:09:35.640 --> 01:09:36.520
All right. What should I sing?
1827
01:09:36.560 --> 01:09:37.319
Goodness.
1828
01:09:37.539 --> 01:09:37.699
Yeah.
1829
01:09:37.720 --> 01:09:40.739
Do you, do you have a karaoke staple or anything
1830
01:09:40.760 --> 01:09:42.159
like that that you, that you like to sing?
1831
01:09:43.840 --> 01:09:49.579
I've heard that you've settled down, that you've... No one's moving.
1832
01:09:49.800 --> 01:09:52.560
Found a girl. Maybe they can't hear me. That you're
1833
01:09:53.340 --> 01:09:56.979
married now. They're not moving. They're not moving. Are your
1834
01:09:57.020 --> 01:09:57.619
chairs stuck?
1835
01:09:57.810 --> 01:09:59.050
Can I help you unstick your chairs? Oh, no, we're
1836
01:09:59.060 --> 01:10:01.989
just waiting for it to be over. Look here.
1837
01:10:02.050 --> 01:10:02.449
Oh, my God.
1838
01:10:02.649 --> 01:10:05.840
I just realized something. I don't know.
1839
01:10:05.979 --> 01:10:06.779
The rules of the voice.
1840
01:10:07.100 --> 01:10:07.520
Yeah.
1841
01:10:07.979 --> 01:10:11.079
And I definitely at first decided that what we were
1842
01:10:11.119 --> 01:10:12.359
doing was the Masked Singer.
1843
01:10:12.739 --> 01:10:15.000
But then I was like, well, it's not.
1844
01:10:14.880 --> 01:10:17.720
The Masked Singer because that's a person you don't know
1845
01:10:17.859 --> 01:10:20.649
who they are. And all we know is who this is.
1846
01:10:20.689 --> 01:10:22.930
There's not an added level of we're going to turn
1847
01:10:22.970 --> 01:10:25.090
our chairs around so we don't guess who this is.
1848
01:10:25.329 --> 01:10:28.470
So the mask does everything. Yeah, exactly. Thank goodness.
1849
01:10:28.489 --> 01:10:30.289
So why do people on The Voice turn their chairs around?
1850
01:10:30.310 --> 01:10:32.939
Because they don't want to be confused by if this
1851
01:10:32.979 --> 01:10:35.100
person has a marketable look. They just want to hear
1852
01:10:35.159 --> 01:10:39.220
The Voice first. And then if they're interested in coaching
1853
01:10:39.239 --> 01:10:43.579
the person, they hit a button, their chair swings around,
1854
01:10:44.020 --> 01:10:47.890
and they then own that person in terms of, I mean,
1855
01:10:47.930 --> 01:10:49.090
not in a bad way.
1856
01:10:49.130 --> 01:10:49.890
No, they own them.
1857
01:10:50.090 --> 01:10:52.470
They own them, yeah. I got distracted. I turned around.
1858
01:10:52.489 --> 01:10:54.729
I got lost. Lost in your wallpaper.
1859
01:10:55.329 --> 01:10:55.630
Yeah.
1860
01:10:55.729 --> 01:10:57.350
Do you see it? Is there a ghost or anything
1861
01:10:57.369 --> 01:10:59.670
that you saw? I don't think so, but it's just so...
1862
01:10:59.510 --> 01:11:02.189
Why are there any ghosts hanging around my place? I
1863
01:11:02.189 --> 01:11:04.149
don't know. They must all have finished their business and
1864
01:11:04.189 --> 01:11:04.449
moved on.
1865
01:11:04.470 --> 01:11:07.250
I'm going to be honest, Scott. My confidence got eviscerated
1866
01:11:07.329 --> 01:11:10.189
watching three people not move their chairs.
1867
01:11:10.270 --> 01:11:12.630
I would have turned my chair around if I knew
1868
01:11:12.689 --> 01:11:15.640
any of the rules. I just did what I was told,
1869
01:11:15.689 --> 01:11:16.979
and what I was told to do is turn my
1870
01:11:17.020 --> 01:11:19.149
chair around. It was cool, but I was never told
1871
01:11:19.189 --> 01:11:20.100
what happens after.
1872
01:11:20.180 --> 01:11:20.880
So you like her....
1873
01:11:22.960 --> 01:11:25.850
I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.
1874
01:11:26.100 --> 01:11:30.100
You enjoy Louie's singing and you would like to coach Louie.
1875
01:11:30.199 --> 01:11:32.300
I can't coach, but I would have turned my chair
1876
01:11:32.319 --> 01:11:34.020
around in the spirit of affirmation.
1877
01:11:34.060 --> 01:11:35.130
In the spirit of the voice.
1878
01:11:35.810 --> 01:11:38.170
I should have sung something from the Phantom Tollbooth or
1879
01:11:38.270 --> 01:11:40.810
an Irish song. Maybe if I had done an Irish song.
1880
01:11:40.909 --> 01:11:43.510
I totally was distracted. It sounded great.
1881
01:11:44.189 --> 01:11:45.850
Oh, my God. No, no, don't feel bad. I was
1882
01:11:45.890 --> 01:11:48.000
not distracted. I was locked in. Do you know any
1883
01:11:48.060 --> 01:11:48.800
Saw Doctors?
1884
01:11:48.819 --> 01:11:48.979
No.
1885
01:11:50.340 --> 01:11:50.680
No.
1886
01:11:51.159 --> 01:11:54.020
Oh, my God. This is humiliating. Forget it, Scott. I
1887
01:11:54.039 --> 01:11:56.659
was going to suggest a lot more reboots, but I just,
1888
01:11:56.760 --> 01:11:57.399
I think you're right.
1889
01:11:58.680 --> 01:12:00.270
I think you need a pep talk here because I
1890
01:12:00.270 --> 01:12:02.590
think you're very charismatic, Louie. And I think, you know,
1891
01:12:02.609 --> 01:12:04.189
it's just your parents being hard on you.
1892
01:12:04.210 --> 01:12:05.529
No, I'm packing my bindle.
1893
01:12:05.670 --> 01:12:06.250
I'm going.
1894
01:12:06.390 --> 01:12:08.250
Don't pack your bindle. Don't pack your bindle.
1895
01:12:08.289 --> 01:12:09.699
Here I go, packing my bindle.
1896
01:12:09.739 --> 01:12:11.880
You need determination in this business.
1897
01:12:11.920 --> 01:12:12.659
I mean, Eugene.
1898
01:12:13.439 --> 01:12:15.239
You know, Eugene, you can speak to this, right?
1899
01:12:15.979 --> 01:12:17.619
I think you just, all you got to do is
1900
01:12:17.640 --> 01:12:20.319
you don't stop. You just keep moving forward just a
1901
01:12:20.359 --> 01:12:21.239
little bit each day.
1902
01:12:21.460 --> 01:12:23.140
How old were you when you made it big?
1903
01:12:23.140 --> 01:12:24.659
51.
1904
01:12:24.659 --> 01:12:28.000
Okay, I'm eight years older than that.
1905
01:12:28.039 --> 01:12:29.460
When you found out he was on TMZ.
1906
01:12:29.560 --> 01:12:31.399
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
1907
01:12:32.199 --> 01:12:33.899
You're 59 years old?
1908
01:12:33.939 --> 01:12:34.039
Yeah.
1909
01:12:35.859 --> 01:12:36.600
Oh.
1910
01:12:36.699 --> 01:12:38.420
In seagull years or? Incredible.
1911
01:12:38.560 --> 01:12:39.340
In human years.
1912
01:12:39.439 --> 01:12:40.039
In human years.
1913
01:12:40.159 --> 01:12:40.779
In seagull years.
1914
01:12:40.800 --> 01:12:42.479
Do seagulls live to like one or 200 years?
1915
01:12:42.520 --> 01:12:42.699
Yeah.
1916
01:12:42.760 --> 01:12:44.449
Yeah. We're like tortoises in that way.
1917
01:12:44.470 --> 01:12:45.710
That's why there's so many, I guess.
1918
01:12:45.810 --> 01:12:45.989
Yeah.
1919
01:12:46.050 --> 01:12:46.250
Yeah.
1920
01:12:46.750 --> 01:12:48.470
Have you ever seen a seagull ghost before?
1921
01:12:48.489 --> 01:12:50.090
I have, sure. Many a time.
1922
01:12:50.109 --> 01:12:50.909
Oh my gosh.
1923
01:12:50.949 --> 01:12:53.720
And there is a seagull heaven. There is. Yes, that's right.
1924
01:12:53.760 --> 01:12:56.220
Every animal, its own heaven. Camel heaven. It seems like
1925
01:12:56.239 --> 01:12:58.520
there's not a lot of room up there then. That
1926
01:12:58.659 --> 01:13:00.560
must be crowded, you know, sort of sectioned off. Well,
1927
01:13:00.590 --> 01:13:02.949
especially for like fly heaven and mosquito heaven. They live
1928
01:13:02.989 --> 01:13:05.229
such short lives. There must have been so many over
1929
01:13:05.250 --> 01:13:08.710
the years. But maybe when you're up in heaven, you're
1930
01:13:08.729 --> 01:13:11.600
not taking up space. Everyone's passing between each other.
1931
01:13:11.619 --> 01:13:14.159
Or you're so blissed out, you don't need a ton
1932
01:13:14.199 --> 01:13:14.579
of space.
1933
01:13:14.739 --> 01:13:16.600
Yeah. It's sort of like New York.
1934
01:13:16.680 --> 01:13:16.939
Oh, wow.
1935
01:13:17.000 --> 01:13:18.800
The city is so exciting. I can live in a
1936
01:13:18.779 --> 01:13:21.319
300 square foot apartment or something.
1937
01:13:21.390 --> 01:13:23.710
Do you think mosquito heaven is someone else's health?
1938
01:13:25.039 --> 01:13:25.640
That's a good point.
1939
01:13:25.659 --> 01:13:27.649
Do you think they double up to save some space?
1940
01:13:28.189 --> 01:13:29.329
Yeah. That's right.
1941
01:13:29.390 --> 01:13:32.850
So yeah, mosquito heavens, just all the people are there.
1942
01:13:32.970 --> 01:13:34.930
Or it's cow hell.
1943
01:13:35.369 --> 01:13:36.010
Yeah.
1944
01:13:36.590 --> 01:13:37.729
For bad cows.
1945
01:13:38.319 --> 01:13:39.800
But don't they love swatting flies?
1946
01:13:40.100 --> 01:13:40.439
I don't know.
1947
01:13:40.460 --> 01:13:41.239
That must be satisfying.
1948
01:13:41.260 --> 01:13:45.159
But cow heaven could be like a vegetarian's hell. Right,
1949
01:13:45.270 --> 01:13:48.329
so you're a vegetarian. Although I guess in cow heaven,
1950
01:13:48.449 --> 01:13:49.229
they're not being eaten.
1951
01:13:50.050 --> 01:13:52.100
Yeah, that's the only thing we know about cows.
1952
01:13:52.140 --> 01:13:53.479
How do we know they don't like it? How do
1953
01:13:53.500 --> 01:13:55.100
we know they don't like it?
1954
01:13:55.180 --> 01:14:01.170
Cows who love being eaten, that's their heaven. With, not with, uh...
1955
01:14:01.970 --> 01:14:07.369
Let's see. Vegetarian people trying to eat them. No, wait, okay. No,
1956
01:14:07.430 --> 01:14:08.930
this works. This works, okay.
1957
01:14:08.949 --> 01:14:11.930
Yeah, vegetarians who don't want to eat meat and cows
1958
01:14:11.949 --> 01:14:12.829
who don't like to be eaten.
1959
01:14:12.850 --> 01:14:15.140
Being forced at gunpoint, but who are the people with
1960
01:14:15.149 --> 01:14:20.880
the guns? Is that heaven for murderers? That's a good
1961
01:14:20.920 --> 01:14:22.800
guy with a gun. Oh, the good guy with a gun.
1962
01:14:22.819 --> 01:14:23.479
That's where they go.
1963
01:14:23.760 --> 01:14:23.979
Yeah.
1964
01:14:24.520 --> 01:14:26.760
So you go to cow heaven, and you've got to
1965
01:14:26.899 --> 01:14:27.899
make the vegetarians.
1966
01:14:28.000 --> 01:14:29.880
What if I reboot Top Gun?
1967
01:14:30.539 --> 01:14:32.000
Oh, I love it. This is great.
1968
01:14:32.119 --> 01:14:32.859
And I'm the plane.
1969
01:14:33.880 --> 01:14:37.800
Yes. And Tom Cruise is riding you. Who? In Russia,
1970
01:14:37.840 --> 01:14:39.000
Tom Cruise rides you.
1971
01:14:39.420 --> 01:14:40.880
I don't know who that is, Scott.
1972
01:14:41.039 --> 01:14:43.600
Oh, my God. You'd love him. I'd love him. You'd
1973
01:14:43.640 --> 01:14:45.270
love him. Wait, you know Ethan Hunt?
1974
01:14:45.510 --> 01:14:45.979
Yeah, of course.
1975
01:14:46.430 --> 01:14:48.229
Okay, it's the guy who plays Ethan Hunt.
1976
01:14:48.449 --> 01:14:49.449
I can't picture his face.
1977
01:14:49.869 --> 01:14:51.350
Maybe a Jerry Maguire reboot.
1978
01:14:52.310 --> 01:14:55.420
Oh, show me. That's not that, is it?
1979
01:14:55.720 --> 01:14:58.140
That is actually, you're right. Depends on what you're about
1980
01:14:58.180 --> 01:14:59.800
to say. If it's your tits.
1981
01:15:00.359 --> 01:15:01.180
Yeah, show me your tits.
1982
01:15:01.699 --> 01:15:04.020
Something entirely different. And if it's your show me your
1983
01:15:04.039 --> 01:15:06.859
small wiener, it's the ghost talking to me. But if
1984
01:15:06.920 --> 01:15:08.840
it's the money. Oh, yeah.
1985
01:15:08.859 --> 01:15:10.239
Show me the money. That's Jerry Maguire.
1986
01:15:10.260 --> 01:15:12.819
What's the plot of that? It's just a.
1987
01:15:12.779 --> 01:15:15.159
Guy who wants people to show him money. And then
1988
01:15:15.310 --> 01:15:18.449
eventually someone shows him money and he's like, thank you.
1989
01:15:18.510 --> 01:15:22.739
Good night. Simultaneous goodnight on Comedy Bang Bang. And uh-huh.
1990
01:15:22.819 --> 01:15:23.970
That's crazy.
1991
01:15:24.029 --> 01:15:24.369
Wow.
1992
01:15:24.569 --> 01:15:25.550
Oh, my God.
1993
01:15:26.109 --> 01:15:28.850
That's wild. I think you should just keep going. I mean,
1994
01:15:29.569 --> 01:15:32.550
persistence is what this business is all about.
1995
01:15:32.729 --> 01:15:35.899
Showbiz is so humiliating, Scott. I can't do another minute
1996
01:15:35.920 --> 01:15:36.199
of this.
1997
01:15:36.279 --> 01:15:38.140
I don't know. Well, then it sounds like it's your
1998
01:15:38.420 --> 01:15:39.159
decision to quit.
1999
01:15:39.720 --> 01:15:41.979
No, I don't want to quit. I want to be famous.
2000
01:15:42.000 --> 01:15:45.399
I want to be rich. Well, those are two different things.
2001
01:15:45.739 --> 01:15:49.310
Because seagulls get a bad rap. People don't like us.
2002
01:15:49.430 --> 01:15:53.899
That's true. You're the villains in things like Puffin Rock
2003
01:15:54.199 --> 01:15:57.899
and in a lot of children's cartoons, you're the villains.
2004
01:15:58.300 --> 01:16:01.739
Also, if you're reading a book about disease, you don't
2005
01:16:01.800 --> 01:16:02.359
come out good.
2006
01:16:02.619 --> 01:16:02.979
Yeah.
2007
01:16:03.119 --> 01:16:06.649
But I mean, in Little Mermaid, you're one of the
2008
01:16:06.689 --> 01:16:07.489
fun characters.
2009
01:16:07.590 --> 01:16:07.810
Yeah.
2010
01:16:07.850 --> 01:16:09.489
What's that guy's name who does that voice?
2011
01:16:09.569 --> 01:16:11.270
I don't know. Who does the voice?
2012
01:16:11.289 --> 01:16:15.250
Yeah, who does the voice? What's the fucking seagull's name?
2013
01:16:15.390 --> 01:16:17.479
What else has he done? Do you want me to
2014
01:16:17.500 --> 01:16:17.890
look this up?
2015
01:16:17.899 --> 01:16:18.460
Yeah, look him up.
2016
01:16:18.579 --> 01:16:20.199
He's like an old Hollywood guy.
2017
01:16:20.460 --> 01:16:22.279
Dom DeLuise. He's sort of got a Dom DeLuise vibe.
2018
01:16:22.300 --> 01:16:27.270
Excuse me. Who does the voice to the funny seagull?
2019
01:16:27.369 --> 01:16:29.489
I don't want to bother my internet. To the funny
2020
01:16:29.550 --> 01:16:35.159
seagull in a movie called The Little Mermaid. Oh, my God.
2021
01:16:35.199 --> 01:16:35.840
I don't remember.
2022
01:16:36.750 --> 01:16:37.770
Aquafina.
2023
01:16:37.850 --> 01:16:38.710
That's the new one.
2024
01:16:38.789 --> 01:16:41.710
That's the reboot. That's the new one. Buddy Hackett.
2025
01:16:41.750 --> 01:16:41.890
Yes.
2026
01:16:41.909 --> 01:16:42.750
Shapoopy.
2027
01:16:42.789 --> 01:16:43.069
Yes.
2028
01:16:43.250 --> 01:16:43.930
Shapoopy.
2029
01:16:44.090 --> 01:16:47.619
Shapoopy. The girl is hard to get. You see, this
2030
01:16:47.680 --> 01:16:48.960
is what messed me up as I was in The
2031
01:16:49.020 --> 01:16:51.359
Music Man in high school. That was my senior show.
2032
01:16:51.460 --> 01:16:52.560
And it gave me the confidence.
2033
01:16:52.859 --> 01:16:53.460
Gave me the taste.
2034
01:16:53.479 --> 01:16:55.640
Who did you play?
2035
01:16:55.699 --> 01:16:57.529
What's the- One of the trombones.
2036
01:16:58.970 --> 01:17:03.800
Scott, seagulls can play men. I did the entire opening
2037
01:17:03.840 --> 01:17:05.399
number to that show completely by myself.
2038
01:17:05.420 --> 01:17:07.840
You're insulted to a pursuit. What do you talk? What
2039
01:17:07.859 --> 01:17:08.260
do you talk?
2040
01:17:08.279 --> 01:17:09.319
What do you talk? Where do you get it? I
2041
01:17:09.319 --> 01:17:11.260
did that completely by myself. How dare you, Scott?
2042
01:17:11.300 --> 01:17:11.520
Here, go.
2043
01:17:11.539 --> 01:17:14.539
But that's a song between, like, 20 salesmen.
2044
01:17:14.680 --> 01:17:16.579
Yeah, you think I can't do it? You think I
2045
01:17:16.600 --> 01:17:18.819
can't do that number right now completely by myself?
2046
01:17:18.850 --> 01:17:19.479
All right, go ahead.
2047
01:17:20.260 --> 01:17:23.279
Charlie, you're an anvil salesman. Your firm give credit. You're
2048
01:17:23.310 --> 01:17:24.029
going to regret this.
2049
01:17:24.430 --> 01:17:25.149
No, sir.
2050
01:17:25.529 --> 01:17:29.510
Nor anybody else. Cash for the merchandise. Cash for the
2051
01:17:29.569 --> 01:17:32.350
button hooks. Cash for the cotton goods. Cash for the
2052
01:17:32.409 --> 01:17:35.100
hard goods. Cash for the soft goods. Cash for the
2053
01:17:35.159 --> 01:17:37.840
fancy goods. Cash for the noggins and the pickings and
2054
01:17:37.859 --> 01:17:41.760
the firkins. Cash for the hogshead, cash and demicon. Cash
2055
01:17:41.800 --> 01:17:44.060
for the pickles and the something in the flypaper.
2056
01:17:44.119 --> 01:17:45.079
Look, what do you talk?
2057
01:17:45.180 --> 01:17:46.460
What do you talk? What do you talk?
2058
01:17:46.520 --> 01:17:47.060
What do you talk?
2059
01:17:47.239 --> 01:17:48.520
Where do you get it? I'm going to go faster.
2060
01:17:48.810 --> 01:17:50.170
You can talk. You can talk. You can bicker.
2061
01:17:50.189 --> 01:17:50.609
You can talk.
2062
01:17:50.630 --> 01:17:51.430
You can bicker.
2063
01:17:51.449 --> 01:17:51.829
You can talk.
2064
01:17:51.850 --> 01:17:53.890
You can talk. You can talk, talk, talk, talk, bicker, bicker, bicker.
2065
01:17:53.909 --> 01:17:55.250
You can talk all you want, but it's different than
2066
01:17:55.270 --> 01:17:56.470
it was. No, it ain't, but you got to know
2067
01:17:56.489 --> 01:18:07.449
the territory. Why, it's the you-need-a-biscuit-made-trouble-you-need-a-you-need-a-put-a-cracker-in-the-package-in-the-package-you-need-a-biscuit-and-air-tight-centenary-package-made-to-cracker-brow-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute-absolute- Cracker-brow went out the
2068
01:18:07.479 --> 01:18:10.420
window with the mail-church-but-but-but-but-the-the-the-stove Changed the approach of a chav
2069
01:18:10.439 --> 01:18:12.020
and salesman, made it pretty hard, no it didn't, no
2070
01:18:12.060 --> 01:18:13.859
it didn't, but you gotta know the territory Gone, gone,
2071
01:18:14.100 --> 01:18:16.479
gone with the hogshead, casket, demijohn Gone with the cricket ball,
2072
01:18:16.500 --> 01:18:24.890
cricket ball, blub-blub-blub-blub Gone Just a minute.
2073
01:18:24.909 --> 01:18:25.310
Just a minute.
2074
01:18:25.329 --> 01:18:27.090
Just a minute. Never heard of any salesman. He'll know
2075
01:18:27.130 --> 01:18:28.970
he doesn't know the territory. Doesn't know the territory. What's
2076
01:18:28.989 --> 01:18:30.729
the fellow's lie? Never worries about his lie. Never worries
2077
01:18:30.750 --> 01:18:32.640
about his lie. The Cracker Barrel Bean Upsaline or the
2078
01:18:32.680 --> 01:18:34.619
You Need a Biscuit and an Airtight Sanitary Package or
2079
01:18:34.640 --> 01:18:35.760
the Model T Ford. Just a minute.
2080
01:18:35.779 --> 01:18:36.159
Just a minute.
2081
01:18:36.199 --> 01:18:37.840
Just a minute. Never worry about his lie. Never worries
2082
01:18:37.859 --> 01:18:38.180
about his lie.
2083
01:18:38.460 --> 01:18:39.060
Doggone thing.
2084
01:18:39.119 --> 01:18:41.829
He's just a bangbeat bell-ringing big, uh, uh, uh, uh,
2085
01:18:41.880 --> 01:18:46.510
rip-roaring salesman. Hold on. Hold on. I got it. Tell
2086
01:18:46.550 --> 01:18:48.010
us what's his lie. What's his lie? He's a fake
2087
01:18:48.050 --> 01:18:49.510
and he doesn't know the territory. Look, what are you talking?
2088
01:18:49.529 --> 01:18:40.529
What are you talking? He's a music man.
2089
01:18:40.569 --> 01:18:41.109
He's a what?
2090
01:18:41.189 --> 01:18:41.729
He's a what?
2091
01:18:41.770 --> 01:18:43.409
He's a music man. And he sells clarinets to the
2092
01:18:43.550 --> 01:18:45.760
kids in the town with a big trombone and rat-a-tat
2093
01:18:45.770 --> 01:18:59.119
drums and the big brass bass, big brass bass. And
2094
01:18:59.140 --> 01:19:01.359
the piccolo, the piccolo, uniforms too, with a shiny gold
2095
01:19:01.390 --> 01:19:03.289
braid on the coat, and the big red stripe on the, well,
2096
01:19:03.569 --> 01:19:05.189
I don't know much about bands, but I do know
2097
01:19:05.229 --> 01:19:07.649
you can't make a living selling big trombones. No, sir.
2098
01:19:07.930 --> 01:19:10.449
Mandolin picks, perhaps? And here and there, a Jew's harp. No,
2099
01:19:10.489 --> 01:19:12.729
the fellow sells bands, boys' bands. I don't know how
2100
01:19:12.750 --> 01:19:14.560
he does it, but he lives like a king, and
2101
01:19:14.569 --> 01:19:16.420
he dallies, and he gallies, and he plucks, and he shines,
2102
01:19:16.460 --> 01:19:19.560
and when the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The
2103
01:19:19.600 --> 01:19:21.720
piper pays him. Yes, sir.
2104
01:19:21.880 --> 01:19:22.640
Yes, sir.
2105
01:19:23.100 --> 01:19:25.420
But he doesn't know the territory.
2106
01:19:27.060 --> 01:19:28.260
Wow.
2107
01:19:28.300 --> 01:19:28.699
Oh, my God.
2108
01:19:29.579 --> 01:19:30.850
I skipped a big part.
2109
01:19:30.890 --> 01:19:34.369
There were only a few somethings and this is.
2110
01:19:34.710 --> 01:19:34.949
Yeah.
2111
01:19:35.470 --> 01:19:37.270
I mean, I think it's clear that what the reboot
2112
01:19:37.289 --> 01:19:39.710
should be is you should do a one seagull version
2113
01:19:39.729 --> 01:19:40.310
of Hamilton.
2114
01:19:40.369 --> 01:19:40.989
Yes.
2115
01:19:41.989 --> 01:19:42.899
That would be incredible.
2116
01:19:43.229 --> 01:19:43.340
Yeah.
2117
01:19:43.350 --> 01:19:44.840
The orphanage.
2118
01:19:47.229 --> 01:19:49.729
That was incredible. It was amazing.
2119
01:19:49.810 --> 01:19:50.970
I skipped a big part.
2120
01:19:50.750 --> 01:19:51.800
In the middle.
2121
01:19:51.939 --> 01:19:53.069
Not from my point of view.
2122
01:19:53.100 --> 01:19:55.380
Good editing because I didn't miss it. In your opinion,
2123
01:19:55.420 --> 01:19:58.260
did the music man was part of the con? Was
2124
01:19:58.319 --> 01:20:00.800
he provides the uniforms? Yeah.
2125
01:20:00.939 --> 01:20:01.119
Yeah.
2126
01:20:01.359 --> 01:20:01.560
Okay.
2127
01:20:01.640 --> 01:20:02.899
Yeah. And the whole band.
2128
01:20:02.960 --> 01:20:05.359
But then he ends up doing it and he falls
2129
01:20:05.399 --> 01:20:06.399
in love with the librarian.
2130
01:20:06.460 --> 01:20:08.340
Well, sure. We know the plot. I just that's one
2131
01:20:08.380 --> 01:20:11.760
sticking point. That was incredible. Look, I can see why
2132
01:20:11.800 --> 01:20:14.619
you got the bug. Again, no pun intended because I'm
2133
01:20:14.659 --> 01:20:19.250
sure you've swallowed bugs when you're flying around. A little offensive?
2134
01:20:19.270 --> 01:20:22.710
All right. Yeah, I've sent some mosquitoes to mosquito heaven,
2135
01:20:22.770 --> 01:20:23.109
I guess.
2136
01:20:23.409 --> 01:20:25.800
I would imagine if I were to drive around without
2137
01:20:25.819 --> 01:20:27.859
a windshield, I would be swallowing bugs all the time.
2138
01:20:27.899 --> 01:20:30.100
So it's not, I mean, it's... I almost just passed
2139
01:20:30.159 --> 01:20:31.159
out when I was doing that. I'm going to be
2140
01:20:31.180 --> 01:20:32.670
honest with you.
2141
01:20:32.729 --> 01:20:33.550
It seems like a lot.
2142
01:20:34.550 --> 01:20:36.390
I started seeing white at the edge of my vision.
2143
01:20:36.630 --> 01:20:36.989
Really?
2144
01:20:37.010 --> 01:20:37.670
Yeah.
2145
01:20:37.970 --> 01:20:40.529
Maybe, Eugene, is this what you were doing in the car?
2146
01:20:40.729 --> 01:20:42.529
Oh my God, Eugene, you cannot be doing that in
2147
01:20:42.550 --> 01:20:42.729
the car.
2148
01:20:42.750 --> 01:20:45.199
The last thing I remember is eating marmalade and singing
2149
01:20:45.220 --> 01:20:49.140
The Music Man, a thing I've never heard. And so
2150
01:20:49.220 --> 01:20:51.659
I was like, how is it possible that I know this?
2151
01:20:52.180 --> 01:20:54.159
You cannot drive and do a patter song at the
2152
01:20:54.180 --> 01:20:56.239
same time. That is too dangerous. You don't have the
2153
01:20:56.279 --> 01:20:57.000
breath for it.
2154
01:20:57.039 --> 01:20:58.510
And that's my big takeaway.
2155
01:20:58.890 --> 01:21:01.090
Yeah, that was impressive. I gotta say, I think you
2156
01:21:01.130 --> 01:21:04.390
have it. And quite honestly... We need to find a
2157
01:21:04.449 --> 01:21:05.949
place for you in showbiz because.
2158
01:21:06.109 --> 01:21:08.840
No, my brain is uniquely broken. This is not good.
2159
01:21:09.060 --> 01:21:09.619
You're convinced.
2160
01:21:09.840 --> 01:21:11.619
I think, though, next time I see a musical, I
2161
01:21:11.640 --> 01:21:14.479
hope it's one person. I think dividing it up over
2162
01:21:14.520 --> 01:21:15.600
lots of people's cheating.
2163
01:21:15.649 --> 01:21:16.359
Yeah.
2164
01:21:16.510 --> 01:21:19.010
Like, I've seen musicals with, like, little kids where they
2165
01:21:19.050 --> 01:21:21.890
give one part to two kids and they simultaneously say
2166
01:21:21.949 --> 01:21:24.289
every line. Yeah, who cares? Let them, you know... Let
2167
01:21:24.310 --> 01:21:25.909
me see one girl do all of Annie.
2168
01:21:26.100 --> 01:21:26.979
Yes. Yeah.
2169
01:21:27.819 --> 01:21:28.340
Oh, my God.
2170
01:21:28.359 --> 01:21:28.739
Oh, my God.
2171
01:21:28.800 --> 01:21:32.420
Is that your dream? To do Miss Hannigan, Annie, Rooster?
2172
01:21:32.439 --> 01:21:33.520
Oh, my God.
2173
01:21:33.560 --> 01:21:37.869
Father Warbucks. Oh, Father Warbucks. But to me, I have respect.
2174
01:21:38.789 --> 01:21:40.829
He's a priest in the Irish version of Annie, if
2175
01:21:40.850 --> 01:21:41.569
I remember correctly.
2176
01:21:41.609 --> 01:21:42.930
He's not a billionaire magnet?
2177
01:21:42.989 --> 01:21:45.729
The original version's Irish, and it's a lot of Catholic priests.
2178
01:21:46.069 --> 01:21:47.770
Sort of dated badly and got taken out.
2179
01:21:47.810 --> 01:21:51.020
And Annie's a nun? Annie's a nun. It's Father Warbucks.
2180
01:21:51.199 --> 01:21:56.630
It's a priest who adopts a nun. I'd see it, honestly.
2181
01:21:56.670 --> 01:21:57.810
She inspires the Queen.
2182
01:21:58.050 --> 01:21:58.909
Yeah, oh my gosh.
2183
01:21:58.949 --> 01:21:59.229
Wow.
2184
01:21:59.369 --> 01:22:01.489
I love the Irish version of Annie. I love the
2185
01:22:01.569 --> 01:22:02.869
Irish version of all the musicals.
2186
01:22:03.050 --> 01:22:05.069
Yeah, and she has red hair, so that, you know.
2187
01:22:05.340 --> 01:22:06.229
Fits great. Yeah.
2188
01:22:06.350 --> 01:22:11.079
And no one in Ireland before 1960 had pupils. So
2189
01:22:11.100 --> 01:22:12.319
that fit great for the time.
2190
01:22:13.090 --> 01:22:17.310
I mean, look, Louie, you got the goods. Your parents
2191
01:22:17.350 --> 01:22:17.850
are wrong.
2192
01:22:18.050 --> 01:22:20.789
No, they're right. No. I see now that they're right.
2193
01:22:20.930 --> 01:22:24.010
We've seen it right before our very eyes. You're a star.
2194
01:22:24.090 --> 01:22:24.949
You're a star.
2195
01:22:25.109 --> 01:22:27.899
There's absolutely no market for a person that can do
2196
01:22:27.939 --> 01:22:29.119
the entire opening number.
2197
01:22:29.140 --> 01:22:31.039
I wouldn't say no. But you're a bird. You're not
2198
01:22:31.079 --> 01:22:31.340
a person.
2199
01:22:31.359 --> 01:22:33.140
There is a market for a bird that can do it.
2200
01:22:33.220 --> 01:22:35.720
Yeah. That's right. The mere fact that you're a bird
2201
01:22:35.739 --> 01:22:37.020
and you're talking to us right now.
2202
01:22:37.359 --> 01:22:37.579
Yeah.
2203
01:22:37.939 --> 01:22:38.239
I mean.
2204
01:22:38.579 --> 01:22:39.899
That alone. You just need.
2205
01:22:39.960 --> 01:22:41.609
Yeah, you could tour as a stand up.
2206
01:22:41.760 --> 01:22:45.960
Yeah. What you need is representation. A good manager believes
2207
01:22:46.000 --> 01:22:47.800
in you. Are you? Are you?
2208
01:22:48.189 --> 01:22:50.989
I mean, I am a bit of an administrator, so
2209
01:22:51.270 --> 01:22:53.970
I could get you booked at Grumbledon. We've got a
2210
01:22:54.010 --> 01:22:54.649
great theater.
2211
01:22:54.850 --> 01:22:57.510
You think I could do Ghost Choice in Grumbledon?
2212
01:22:58.609 --> 01:23:01.630
Well, I'd love to. What about acting? Yeah. I was
2213
01:23:01.649 --> 01:23:03.810
thinking we'd get you in a play. You downgraded yourself
2214
01:23:03.850 --> 01:23:06.270
to just tour guide? I'd put you in a musical,
2215
01:23:06.289 --> 01:23:08.270
but sure, you can help me run ghost tours.
2216
01:23:08.430 --> 01:23:09.550
Yeah, I think I could do that.
2217
01:23:09.710 --> 01:23:12.590
It'd be easier for me to teach you. I mean,
2218
01:23:13.510 --> 01:23:14.640
this is part of the problem. You don't have the
2219
01:23:14.680 --> 01:23:16.659
confidence to say, like, I want to be an actor.
2220
01:23:16.680 --> 01:23:18.739
You're already just saying I'll be a tour guide.
2221
01:23:19.020 --> 01:23:20.859
That seems like the most important thing that he was
2222
01:23:20.920 --> 01:23:22.340
talking about earlier was how he was a tour guide.
2223
01:23:22.399 --> 01:23:24.539
That is my thing, but if you come all the
2224
01:23:24.560 --> 01:23:26.720
way to Grumbledome, I'll get you a show.
2225
01:23:27.680 --> 01:23:29.920
We had a great theater. Yeah, you could do the
2226
01:23:30.220 --> 01:23:32.479
Edinburgh Fringe Fest or something, you know?
2227
01:23:32.539 --> 01:23:33.819
And then you could be on all those sort of
2228
01:23:33.859 --> 01:23:36.060
British kind of game shows.
2229
01:23:36.119 --> 01:23:37.619
Oh, like Would I Lie to You?
2230
01:23:37.659 --> 01:23:38.460
Yeah, exactly.
2231
01:23:38.779 --> 01:23:40.000
You could be on Taskmaster.
2232
01:23:40.100 --> 01:23:41.960
You'd be great on those. Yeah, Would I Lie to
2233
01:23:41.979 --> 01:23:44.079
You where you tell stories about being a bird? I mean,
2234
01:23:44.140 --> 01:23:46.899
who knows if you're lying or not? Oh, yeah.
2235
01:23:46.960 --> 01:23:49.100
David and Lee, Matt. Like, I feel like I could
2236
01:23:49.149 --> 01:23:50.319
really hang with those guys.
2237
01:23:50.470 --> 01:23:53.609
What's the 10 cats one in Countdown or something like that?
2238
01:23:53.789 --> 01:23:55.409
Yeah. 10 cats beats Countdown.
2239
01:23:55.489 --> 01:23:59.430
Yes. A... Bird from Boston on a British panel show.
2240
01:23:59.630 --> 01:24:01.430
They'd love it. They'd love it.
2241
01:24:01.710 --> 01:24:01.909
Yeah.
2242
01:24:02.149 --> 01:24:02.529
All right.
2243
01:24:02.810 --> 01:24:03.109
You know what?
2244
01:24:03.170 --> 01:24:04.770
I'm going to give it one more shot, Scott.
2245
01:24:04.890 --> 01:24:05.369
One more shot.
2246
01:24:05.409 --> 01:24:06.350
And if it doesn't work.
2247
01:24:06.609 --> 01:24:08.899
I have no hope. I did book you to run
2248
01:24:09.029 --> 01:24:12.270
one tour just now. Just when you said you'd do it.
2249
01:24:12.600 --> 01:24:14.000
So you had to stop by Grummeldom and.
2250
01:24:13.960 --> 01:24:15.039
Just do one tour. I got booked.
2251
01:24:15.380 --> 01:24:16.239
I don't have to move home.
2252
01:24:16.279 --> 01:24:18.800
I got booked. You got booked doing a ghost tour.
2253
01:24:18.920 --> 01:24:19.260
I booked.
2254
01:24:19.300 --> 01:24:19.439
Yeah.
2255
01:24:19.979 --> 01:24:20.460
Oh, my God.
2256
01:24:20.479 --> 01:24:23.630
I would like to thank God, obviously. I'd like to
2257
01:24:23.649 --> 01:24:25.850
thank my parents for not believing in me.
2258
01:24:25.869 --> 01:24:29.289
It'll help my business if people come to see ghosts.
2259
01:24:29.350 --> 01:24:31.189
It's like, not only that, a talking bird is going
2260
01:24:31.220 --> 01:24:34.199
to walk you through it. Yeah. Yeah. I would see that.
2261
01:24:34.340 --> 01:24:36.399
That's amazing. Well, congratulations. You booked.
2262
01:24:36.579 --> 01:24:36.819
Yes.
2263
01:24:37.180 --> 01:24:38.979
And Scott, next time I see you, I will have
2264
01:24:39.000 --> 01:24:39.260
an Emmy.
2265
01:24:40.350 --> 01:24:42.909
I like that manifesting. One of your own?
2266
01:24:43.289 --> 01:24:44.609
Oh, no, I'll steal an Emmy.
2267
01:24:44.630 --> 01:24:46.670
Just a plaque that says thank you for contributing to
2268
01:24:46.710 --> 01:24:48.850
this Emmy.
2269
01:24:48.930 --> 01:24:51.670
Well, guys, we are running out of time. We only
2270
01:24:51.689 --> 01:24:53.899
have time, really, for one final feature on the show,
2271
01:24:54.069 --> 01:24:56.619
and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.
2272
01:24:57.739 --> 01:25:01.800
Please read the notice on the podcast door.
2273
01:25:02.880 --> 01:25:06.560
When it's time to speak your plugs, please don't be
2274
01:25:06.640 --> 01:25:07.199
a bore.
2275
01:25:08.390 --> 01:25:10.489
Keep them quick and simple.
2276
01:25:11.130 --> 01:25:13.710
Make your meaning clear.
2277
01:25:13.869 --> 01:25:15.390
Now it's time.
2278
01:25:14.970 --> 01:25:16.350
To speak your plug.
2279
01:25:16.689 --> 01:25:18.449
Now the moment's here.
2280
01:25:19.430 --> 01:25:21.189
Now the moment's here.
2281
01:25:24.050 --> 01:25:24.329
All right.
2282
01:25:24.369 --> 01:25:27.350
That was Heart of the Plug Bag by Hallelujah Ape.
2283
01:25:27.949 --> 01:25:30.170
Thanks to Hallelujah Ape. If you have a plugs theme,
2284
01:25:30.210 --> 01:25:33.029
head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and you can upload
2285
01:25:33.050 --> 01:25:35.189
them there and find everything you need. to make the
2286
01:25:35.229 --> 01:25:38.170
remixes for our closing themes. And, uh, Eugene, what are
2287
01:25:38.189 --> 01:25:38.850
we plugging here?
2288
01:25:39.250 --> 01:25:41.510
My special here comes the whimsy. Yeah. Yeah.
2289
01:25:41.850 --> 01:25:44.670
And, uh, I mean, that's the newest thing you have
2290
01:25:44.750 --> 01:25:45.109
out there.
2291
01:25:45.130 --> 01:25:45.369
Sure.
2292
01:25:45.470 --> 01:25:48.270
You could go and investigate all of Eugene's career. Sure.
2293
01:25:48.489 --> 01:25:51.350
But, uh, feel free to listen to other standup of mine.
2294
01:25:51.380 --> 01:25:51.569
Yeah.
2295
01:25:51.600 --> 01:25:53.939
You'll probably be interested after you watch here comes the whimsy.
2296
01:25:54.039 --> 01:25:54.560
Exactly.
2297
01:25:54.840 --> 01:25:58.579
Um, and then Bob's burgers is still on Sundays. Sundays.
2298
01:25:58.680 --> 01:25:59.020
Yeah.
2299
01:25:59.060 --> 01:26:00.060
I think it's, it's back.
2300
01:26:00.100 --> 01:26:00.300
Yeah.
2301
01:26:00.340 --> 01:26:02.199
The spring, meaning it started back up.
2302
01:26:02.380 --> 01:26:04.229
New episodes back up again. New episodes airing now. Yes.
2303
01:26:04.439 --> 01:26:04.659
Great.
2304
01:26:04.939 --> 01:26:07.539
And how far ahead are you? Are you like two
2305
01:26:07.579 --> 01:26:09.359
years in the future? You've already recorded?
2306
01:26:09.399 --> 01:26:12.560
I think we generally are working on the following, the
2307
01:26:12.600 --> 01:26:13.020
next year.
2308
01:26:13.050 --> 01:26:13.850
Fantastic.
2309
01:26:13.899 --> 01:26:15.829
So I think that, yeah, it takes probably about a
2310
01:26:15.869 --> 01:26:16.789
year to make an episode.
2311
01:26:16.909 --> 01:26:17.189
Wow.
2312
01:26:17.210 --> 01:26:17.909
Or something like that.
2313
01:26:18.069 --> 01:26:21.569
Such a good show. And we're glad you're here. And
2314
01:26:21.909 --> 01:26:24.909
let's move on to Devin Greenlove. Devin, what do you
2315
01:26:24.930 --> 01:26:25.329
want to plug?
2316
01:26:25.550 --> 01:26:28.409
Well, I'd love to plug McGull's Tours. If you're on Grumbledome,
2317
01:26:28.970 --> 01:26:31.569
far west of Ireland, please look up Devin Greenglove for
2318
01:26:31.609 --> 01:26:32.029
me tours.
2319
01:26:32.850 --> 01:26:35.029
There's got to be a better way to direct people
2320
01:26:35.050 --> 01:26:39.430
to your business. Look up Devin Greenglove once you get there.
2321
01:26:39.510 --> 01:26:42.270
Look up my name and then see if people have
2322
01:26:42.649 --> 01:26:45.489
talked about me and hopefully they'll have a link. I
2323
01:26:45.529 --> 01:26:47.829
don't have a website. I'm just saying before people plan
2324
01:26:47.850 --> 01:26:50.720
to already go there, maybe they could buy tickets. I
2325
01:26:51.439 --> 01:26:53.000
don't give a shit. You go ahead.
2326
01:26:53.420 --> 01:26:55.760
And then also, let's see.
2327
01:26:56.020 --> 01:26:58.260
Oh, how about a podcast?
2328
01:26:58.460 --> 01:26:58.899
Screw it.
2329
01:26:59.020 --> 01:27:02.329
We're just going to talk about the Beatles. hosted by
2330
01:27:02.369 --> 01:27:06.350
Will Hines and some others, which is exactly as you'd expect.
2331
01:27:06.430 --> 01:27:09.640
People talking about the Beatles, mostly saying they were good.
2332
01:27:09.659 --> 01:27:12.300
I believe I was just on this show recently. You
2333
01:27:12.340 --> 01:27:14.739
were just on. I heard your episode where you talked
2334
01:27:14.760 --> 01:27:18.939
about Paul McCartney. Yes. And you were great on it.
2335
01:27:19.079 --> 01:27:21.020
Thank you. There is a compliment that I was going
2336
01:27:21.039 --> 01:27:21.560
to thank you for.
2337
01:27:21.640 --> 01:27:24.279
So yeah, we got cool stuff like, they got cool
2338
01:27:24.300 --> 01:27:24.880
stuff like that.
2339
01:27:25.140 --> 01:27:26.899
What did you say your favorite Beatles song was?
2340
01:27:27.100 --> 01:27:29.810
Oh, do you have one? That never came up, actually.
2341
01:27:29.829 --> 01:27:30.130
I don't think.
2342
01:27:30.149 --> 01:27:30.850
What's your favorite?
2343
01:27:32.350 --> 01:27:34.550
It's definitely not the one that the Beatles cover band
2344
01:27:34.590 --> 01:27:37.350
would start their sets with when I worked at Cafe
2345
01:27:37.390 --> 01:27:40.729
Cordial back in the 90s. This happened once before. That's
2346
01:27:40.760 --> 01:27:43.260
my least favorite. Because that would tell me, oh boy,
2347
01:27:43.340 --> 01:27:46.340
I'm in for the long haul. Um, I don't know.
2348
01:27:46.359 --> 01:27:48.500
I'll have to get back to those particular people on
2349
01:27:48.539 --> 01:27:50.229
their own show. Can't wait to hear about it.
2350
01:27:50.239 --> 01:27:50.479
Yes.
2351
01:27:50.869 --> 01:27:52.829
Um, and Louis Pentano, what are you plugging?
2352
01:27:53.279 --> 01:27:55.439
Uh, obviously check me out in the ghost tour. Um,
2353
01:27:57.060 --> 01:27:59.659
I just, uh, received word that I get to be
2354
01:27:59.720 --> 01:28:02.619
the floating juice tray that we use to trick the tourists.
2355
01:28:02.739 --> 01:28:02.899
Hey.
2356
01:28:03.119 --> 01:28:03.279
What?
2357
01:28:03.319 --> 01:28:03.550
Sorry.
2358
01:28:03.739 --> 01:28:07.189
That's a private text just to me and you, Louie. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
2359
01:28:07.210 --> 01:28:10.829
I'm so sorry. Don't you worry about it. This Patty Greenleaf.
2360
01:28:10.850 --> 01:28:12.869
The floating juice tray is fake?
2361
01:28:13.050 --> 01:28:13.789
No, not always.
2362
01:28:13.909 --> 01:28:15.189
No, no, no. Not always?
2363
01:28:15.250 --> 01:28:17.109
No, they get a bird to carry it. So it's
2364
01:28:17.140 --> 01:28:17.479
not fake.
2365
01:28:18.979 --> 01:28:21.579
Oh, no wonder you perked up when we said there'd
2366
01:28:21.600 --> 01:28:23.899
be a bird on the show. No, no, sometimes.
2367
01:28:25.039 --> 01:28:27.140
I'd also like to plug Hey Riddle Riddle. It's a
2368
01:28:27.180 --> 01:28:30.600
riddle podcast. If you're interested in that sort of thing.
2369
01:28:30.619 --> 01:28:33.390
I have not recovered from doing that opening.
2370
01:28:33.409 --> 01:28:35.270
Okay, yeah, just take it easy.
2371
01:28:35.340 --> 01:28:36.680
I genuinely feel lightheaded.
2372
01:28:36.699 --> 01:28:37.239
Take it easy.
2373
01:28:37.260 --> 01:28:39.180
We'll get you some juice. Don't worry.
2374
01:28:39.220 --> 01:28:41.979
My heart beating in my chin, which has never happened.
2375
01:28:41.699 --> 01:28:44.460
To me before. Oh my gosh. Well, I want to plug, hey,
2376
01:28:44.479 --> 01:28:47.649
the Comedy Bang Bang Tour starts a week from today.
2377
01:28:47.659 --> 01:28:50.649
Sounds great. If you can imagine, it starts May 25
2378
01:28:50.649 --> 01:28:51.029
in Toronto.
2379
01:28:51.050 --> 01:28:51.329
Yeah.
2380
01:28:54.109 --> 01:28:57.489
And then we continue around the Midwest for a couple
2381
01:28:57.510 --> 01:28:57.850
of weeks.
2382
01:28:58.029 --> 01:28:58.229
St.
2383
01:28:58.289 --> 01:29:03.329
Paul, Madison, Chicago, Grand Rapids, Royal Oak, Columbus, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, St. Louis,
2384
01:29:03.369 --> 01:29:09.649
Kansas City. And then we go to the South, Atlanta, Nashville, Charleston, Durham.
2385
01:29:09.689 --> 01:29:15.760
And then we go back East, Washington, D.C., New York, Philadelphia, Boston, Fairfield, Connecticut, Portland, Maine.
2386
01:29:16.239 --> 01:29:18.239
And then we're going to the U.K., if you can
2387
01:29:18.279 --> 01:29:19.640
believe it, and Ireland.
2388
01:29:19.659 --> 01:29:19.739
Yeah.
2389
01:29:20.199 --> 01:29:23.800
And then we go to the West Coast and then
2390
01:29:24.180 --> 01:29:28.060
we go to the Southwest. And then, boy, howdy, we're
2391
01:29:28.119 --> 01:29:31.500
in Los Angeles by September 19th. September 19th show just
2392
01:29:31.539 --> 01:29:34.479
went on sale on Friday. So tickets are probably still
2393
01:29:34.520 --> 01:29:37.949
on sale for that. That one has Hey Randy, the
2394
01:29:37.989 --> 01:29:42.460
Hey Randy podcast with Randy Snuts opening for us. And
2395
01:29:42.739 --> 01:29:44.000
these are all going to be a really good time.
2396
01:29:44.060 --> 01:29:47.010
It's Paul F. Tompkins, myself, and a rotating cast of
2397
01:29:47.069 --> 01:29:49.189
the Comedy Bang Bang All-Stars. We're going to all be
2398
01:29:49.289 --> 01:29:53.989
out there entertaining America and beyond. So I hope... You
2399
01:29:54.020 --> 01:29:57.720
come out and see us. Tickets are available over at cbbworld.com
2400
01:29:57.739 --> 01:30:00.619
slash tour. And while you're over at CBB World, check
2401
01:30:00.699 --> 01:30:03.159
out everything we have over there, including the aforementioned Hey
2402
01:30:03.199 --> 01:30:06.539
Randy podcast, as well as shows like The Neighborhood Listen,
2403
01:30:07.439 --> 01:30:10.699
ad-free episodes of this show, the entire archive of Comedy
2404
01:30:10.739 --> 01:30:14.359
Bang Bang, all 900 and almost 1,000 episodes, plus every
2405
01:30:14.399 --> 01:30:18.279
live show we've ever done. It's really good stuff over there.
2406
01:30:18.340 --> 01:30:19.979
All right, let's close up the old plug bag.
2407
01:30:24.600 --> 01:30:24.739
Wow.
2408
01:30:53.109 --> 01:30:56.189
How crazy that you mentioned Aerosmith. Is this like our
2409
01:30:56.270 --> 01:30:59.069
computers listening to us and making plug themes? I don't know,
2410
01:30:59.180 --> 01:31:00.479
but you mentioned Aerosmith.
2411
01:31:00.560 --> 01:31:00.779
Yeah.
2412
01:31:01.090 --> 01:31:04.550
That was Sweet Chat Emotion by Bernswee. Thank you to Bernswee.
2413
01:31:04.829 --> 01:31:08.010
And speaking of thank you, thanks to all of my guests. Eugene,
2414
01:31:08.630 --> 01:31:10.350
so glad you're still with us and so glad that
2415
01:31:10.409 --> 01:31:15.489
I could see you one last time. This concludes our friendship.
2416
01:31:16.930 --> 01:31:17.710
It was really a pleasure.
2417
01:31:18.250 --> 01:31:25.350
Wonderful to have you on the show. And Devin Greenlove. Hello.
2418
01:31:25.649 --> 01:31:29.029
What can one say about Devin Greenlove? Was I interesting
2419
01:31:29.090 --> 01:31:33.199
or not? Be honest. The fact that you're cheating the
2420
01:31:33.239 --> 01:31:35.079
people who take your tours and having a floating... That's
2421
01:31:35.100 --> 01:31:38.670
not true. Not always true. 90% of the time the
2422
01:31:38.750 --> 01:31:40.189
tray is... At least.
2423
01:31:40.310 --> 01:31:42.340
I think it's impressive that you can train birds to
2424
01:31:42.420 --> 01:31:43.039
carry a tray.
2425
01:31:43.239 --> 01:31:43.560
Thank you.
2426
01:31:43.720 --> 01:31:45.920
Other than the birds that are obviously centered enough to
2427
01:31:45.960 --> 01:31:46.479
do it on their own.
2428
01:31:46.640 --> 01:31:49.319
I got fired. Devin already fired me over text.
2429
01:31:49.380 --> 01:31:51.840
What? Louis, Louis Pintano, thanks for being here. What happened?
2430
01:31:51.859 --> 01:31:53.819
How did Devin already fire you?
2431
01:31:54.060 --> 01:31:56.149
I just lost my dream job because apparently you're not
2432
01:31:56.170 --> 01:31:57.550
supposed to tell company secrets.
2433
01:31:57.930 --> 01:31:59.090
Oh, you broke the NDA?
2434
01:31:59.250 --> 01:31:59.630
I did.
2435
01:31:59.670 --> 01:32:03.010
That's right. Oh, no. I hate to do it. So sorry.
2436
01:32:03.250 --> 01:32:06.020
I'm so sorry. I guess, are your dreams of show
2437
01:32:06.060 --> 01:32:06.920
business dashed?
2438
01:32:06.960 --> 01:32:09.619
Yeah, back to square one. I'm just gonna.
2439
01:32:09.640 --> 01:32:11.760
You can't even say square one. You're so out of breath.
2440
01:32:11.779 --> 01:32:14.890
I can't even say... I genuinely am never doing that again.
2441
01:32:16.270 --> 01:32:16.850
In your life?
2442
01:32:17.010 --> 01:32:19.930
In my life. That took years off my life.
2443
01:32:20.029 --> 01:32:22.510
I don't know. I think if you ever pop up
2444
01:32:22.569 --> 01:32:27.840
on the Comedy Bang Bang Tour, it may be a request. Oh, God.
2445
01:32:27.939 --> 01:32:28.300
Oh, no.
2446
01:32:28.319 --> 01:32:30.359
I have to start working out for that.
2447
01:32:30.439 --> 01:32:35.699
Jesus Christ. All right. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye.
2448
01:32:37.199 --> 01:32:41.020
Treacherous ring roads lie ahead on our mission to reach Nana's.
2449
01:32:41.439 --> 01:32:44.470
Go to Mackey's for black pepper and garlic McNuggets.
2450
01:32:44.909 --> 01:32:46.090
Navigation rerouting.
2451
01:32:46.890 --> 01:32:49.630
The main mission can wait. Take a side mission to McDonald's.
2452
01:32:51.260 --> 01:32:53.979
Available until the 29th of September from 11am. Wasdox last.
2453
01:32:54.000 --> 01:32:55.720
Subject to availability. Participation varies.
2454
01:32:55.939 --> 01:32:59.340
Running a business isn't easy, but accessing support should be.
2455
01:32:59.800 --> 01:33:03.140
The National Enterprise Hub is a free service that simplifies
2456
01:33:03.300 --> 01:33:07.550
access to business supports. With over 250 supports in one place,
2457
01:33:07.930 --> 01:33:11.529
it's easier than ever to find grants, advice, training and more.
2458
01:33:12.130 --> 01:33:14.609
And don't worry about not knowing what you need. Our
2459
01:33:14.649 --> 01:33:16.949
helpful team will guide you every step of the way.
2460
01:33:16.970 --> 01:33:21.680
Visit neh.gov.ie to learn how we can help. The National
2461
01:33:21.760 --> 01:33:23.920
Enterprise Hub. Support starts here.
2462
01:33:24.119 --> 01:33:24.920
An initiative of the.
2463
01:33:24.899 --> 01:33:25.720
Government of Ireland.
2464
01:33:26.840 --> 01:33:29.310
Visiting the farm in County Monaghan, where M & S
2465
01:33:29.350 --> 01:33:32.489
sources Irish oakum gold chicken, the first thing that struck
2466
01:33:32.529 --> 01:33:36.909
me was care. Slower reared, fed a multi-grain diet, and
2467
01:33:36.930 --> 01:33:39.350
given the time it needs for proper flavour to develop.
2468
01:33:40.050 --> 01:33:43.579
That patience, well, you taste it. This is not just food,
2469
01:33:44.060 --> 01:33:45.020
this is M & S food.