Jessica Colarco (00:06)
just want to tell you about someone I lost for a while and recently got back. You know, I was an athlete growing up and through childhood, through high school, into early adulthood, running, competing, moving my body like it was something I lived in And then life happened. A second child, a practice to build, the invisible accumulation of everything. And somewhere around
2012 or 2013, this girl just quietly faded. Athlete Jessica. Not dramatically, just slowly over years, swallowed up by all the other roles I was playing. And what's interesting is I didn't notice she was gone until I started getting her back. Pilates for five years, lifting. As you know, last October I joined Orange Theory and something happened on that treadmill that I wasn't expecting. I remembered what it felt like to push.
to compete with myself, to be someone who does hard physical things just because I can. She was still there. She had just been waiting. And this is what romanticizing your life actually looks like to me. Not the aesthetic, not the linen and the candles, but noticing what's already there, claiming it, not letting it slipped past you again.
Kelly (01:20)
Welcome back to Chasing Brighter. I am Kelly and this is Jessica. that is the perfect entry point for today's episode. And honestly, the most honest definition of romanticizing your life that I've ever heard. It sounded really good, Jess. So let's get into it.
what does romanticizing your life actually mean? And I think this is great. I always think about this too in terms of, I kind of use this phrase, I mean, I wouldn't say seldom, but I do use the phrase on occasion. So the term has been everywhere and slow living, aesthetic coffee photos,
cottagecore, like all these things where it seems like, know, people who are, you know, posing for beautiful pictures on their social media. The really core idea though is paying attention to the ordinary, finding beauty in small treat your everyday life like it's really worth noticing. And it's actually an ancient and wise thing. I just finished this book.
called mastery right here. And ⁓ one of the topics in the back, one of the last chapters was really tied to this, which was like sort of like finding mastery in everyday life. And I really just loved that thought. And I feel like, you know, it's the attention is the point sometimes of doing this stuff and not the.
Jessica Colarco (02:30)
Mm-hmm.
Kelly (02:50)
linen apron. So it's like showing the pretty stuff and not necessarily that like, you know, making it fun or making it kind of right.
Jessica Colarco (02:57)
Yeah, no,
always, it didn't make sense to me. Like, that's not intuitive to what I thought romanticizing is, right? Because it's like, if someone's like, my gosh, I miss when the kids were babies, it was amazing. Well, and you're like, you're just romanticizing that. Like, the real part of it was really hard. But what romanticizing your life is, right, is...
Kelly (03:13)
Yeah.
Jessica Colarco (03:20)
being intentional and in the now and present and really deliberately being in it. And so the opposite of romanticizing your life is living on autopilot, moving through days efficiently, completing tasks, getting through it. But your actual life washes past you because you're already at the next thing. You know, the orange theory piece is a perfect example for me.
Kelly (03:31)
Yes.
Jessica Colarco (03:44)
where I put my workouts in the calendar, I protect them, I don't move them for anyone, and it's not a productivity hack, this is me claiming something that is mine, and I refuse to let it get swallowed.
I have a friend that goes with me every time, so that accountability with her is part of it too. We created a ritual around something that matters to us, and that's romanticizing your life in real time. The athlete identity piece, noticing that my Jessica athlete has been here and choosing to show up for her, that's exactly what this is. I also think, I know what else has been going around that people say, you're 80 years old and then one day you wake up
and you see your partner and they're strong and healthy and your kids are young again. And so they're always like, how would you?
Like if you're taking your life for granted now, how would you change that? And I felt that last night, you know, we're so burnt out, we were so burnt out at the end of the year. And it's like, everyone was kind of going their own separate way in the house. And I was like, okay, am I taking for granted that all my kids are still in the house? And so then Giovanni and I snuggled and, you know, watched a movie. And so I loved that, but.
You and I talked a lot in May about identity, you know, and about what is truly your value versus performance. And so, are you just performing things right now and you're not living in it? And so for me, the gym is mine, it's not for anyone else, and that clarity of knowing that that is just mine is rare. And so, that's why I think for me it's just one of the most honest examples of what this practice looks like, is it's like,
what you're not performing, but something that's just for you.
Kelly (05:27)
Yes, and you know, I think you can look at this from a lot of different angles and this cynicism about the idea comes from the way that we package things and like just culturally, like you need a certain kind of like to life to access it or a certain type of body to access it or it's like all these things you need this one thing but really
Jessica Colarco (05:39)
Yeah.
Right.
Kelly (05:52)
As we all know, there's like no there there. It's like, you know, it's taking a slow morning. And it's about.
Jessica Colarco (06:01)
You don't
have to have a beautiful kitchen to sit and have a slow cup of coffee, right? Like you're saying, it's those slow moments, right?
Kelly (06:10)
Yep. It's really taking, I think this is like the situational awareness too in a lot of ways where it's like, that first sip of coffee is genuinely good, like taking that moment, like really being intentional and being aware of what you're doing in a way that is wonderful, right? And it's about the attention, attention to what you're doing that's part of this.
After finishing that bookmaster I was talking about, I started getting into laundry. And I went to Claude. I had Claude do this full laundry plan for me. have LG, I have two sets of LG washers and dryers in this house and they both are very different. And I uploaded the model numbers and I was like, okay, show me how to, I want to be the best laundress I can be sort of thing. And I,
I'm amazed at some of the things I've been cleaning. get addicted to it. But, you know, it's all of sudden I've kind of put this attention on doing the laundry. you know, I don't have, like, I'm sure the washer and dryers I have are like eight years old, but it's like sitting, like thinking about the things that you do have in your life in some way and really putting some attention on them and ⁓ finding joy in those moments and not...
Jessica Colarco (07:11)
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
Kelly (07:25)
not waiting for something to happen or something to change for that to happen.
Jessica Colarco (07:30)
Yeah, and I did want to add really quick Kel too that we do have a free download for June. We're so excited about it because this one's called Choose Your Own Adventure Summer Planning. It is a template with big anchors, small rituals, and a joy inventory. It's a whole summer in one document, free when you sign up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com.
Kelly (07:54)
Yep. So go grab it. Your summer will thank you.
Jessica Colarco (07:59)
Yes. And so like what you're talking about, Kelly, is orientation more than activity, right? You decide once that your life is worth paying attention to and then you find small ways to act on it.
Kelly (08:11)
Yep.
Jessica Colarco (08:14)
So, have a noticing practice, right? Once a day, notice one specific thing that you would have let pass unregistered. Not a gratitude list, just one thing held for a moment. And summer is a perfect time to try this because the conditions are actually there. Light, warmth, a slightly different pace. The world is offering you something. The practice is just receiving it. So, what this might look like in your life,
sitting and sort of like chugging your coffee because you forgot about it. It's like really focusing on what is your iced coffee actually tastes like. The moment before a game, you take a breath or for me, like the feeling after a hard workout class to help me remember where I am. So I think for me, what I've been trying to do, which I kind of said a little bit.
more, and maybe that is because I'm having a child kind of launching off to college, is I would let pass by that we're all in the house at the same time and maybe just like grabbing food and we have gotten really messy and sloppy about not eating together as a family. And so I have been very intentional about all of us coming together and sitting and eating. And so that is one simple example of how I've been romanticizing my life.
Kelly (09:38)
I love my first cup of coffee and, ⁓ a lot of times I do try to sit and, really savor that first cup, especially in the summertime. ⁓ you know, going outside and sipping it, you don't have to have a beautiful back. You don't have a patio, you don't have beautiful furniture. can sit on your front porch and just really kind of enjoying that. And, you know, research backs this up. there is, professor.
Fred Bryant at Loyola University of Chicago that talked, he did some study.
that the ability to notice, appreciate and extend positive experiences is a learnable skill that directly correlates to wellbeing. And so it's really this moment about being in your awareness and the attention to what you're doing, not going through life on autopilot and being grateful for that. love, I think I'm having even a hard time with Wes not wanting to play baseball anymore because I love being outside and sitting at a baseball field and being, seeing different
places and just being having an excuse to be outside and sit and watch something. Because that's really like just having that moment doesn't have to be a beautiful park and a luxurious thing. So that's sort of what I like to enjoy too. And really trying to think more and I don't necessarily do it all the time where you're in these moments. I had a moment. I took a picture when we were at Utah.
Jessica Colarco (10:44)
Yeah.
Kelly (10:58)
this past weekend when Beck was at a soccer tournament because, you know, he's sitting there playing and it had snowed on the mountains that morning and it was just this beautiful mountainous backdrop and Utah is like, Salt Lake City area is like a mountain hug, you know, and so really the whole, you know, having that attention of like sitting there for a moment and not just being an autopilot, but taking a step back and really being, paying attention to where you are and find joy in that.
Jessica Colarco (11:13)
Yeah.
Kelly (11:24)
that moment.
Jessica Colarco (11:28)
Let's move to our brighter moves for this week. And my brighter move for you all is a noticing practice. And just once a day, pause and notice one specific ordinary thing. Not abstract gratitude, but something very specific. The color of something, the sound of something, the way something feels, and let that register for 10 seconds. That's the whole practice.
Kelly (11:29)
So.
Jessica Colarco (11:56)
I know that can even be for like fashion. You know, Kelly and I love fashion and I'm wearing the outfit that I've talked about from Aerie that I'm obsessed with. And so that's my noticing today. It is so soft and cozy and it's a beautiful color. And so I just wanna sit with it and notice it. And so I think that can even include fashion.
Kelly (12:19)
I love that. think that's ⁓ a great idea. tip and practice would be one activity this week, whether it's making coffee or driving somewhere or eating lunch, but really do it in sort of this moment of doing that act. Don't busy it with putting TV on or having any sort of like screen or podcast going.
but just literally that activity and see what you notice when there's nothing competing for your attention.
Jessica Colarco (12:52)
Yeah, yes.
Kelly (12:53)
in summary for this, as you kind of go through this episode and talk through it, the practice is actually just sort of like staying where you are long enough so that you can feel it and find the joy in being in that moment.
Jessica Colarco (13:10)
next week, we're talking about how June feels different this year. You know, a season is ending, a new one is beginning, and we want to give you permission to actually land in it. So next week, we're talking about what it means to slow down before life makes you.
Kelly (13:10)
about next week, Jess? Yeah.
Yes, and it's a good one for sure. we're looking forward to sharing it with you guys. And it's on Thursday.
Jessica Colarco (13:35)
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for listening. Remember to visit us at chasingbrighter.com for the blog and newsletter.
Kelly (13:42)
and at Chasing Brighter on Instagram and our other socials Have a great week. See you Thursday.
just want to tell you about someone I lost for a while and recently got back. You know, I was an athlete growing up and through childhood, through high school, into early adulthood, running, competing, moving my body like it was something I lived in And then life happened. A second child, a practice to build, the invisible accumulation of everything. And somewhere around
2012 or 2013, this girl just quietly faded. Athlete Jessica. Not dramatically, just slowly over years, swallowed up by all the other roles I was playing. And what's interesting is I didn't notice she was gone until I started getting her back. Pilates for five years, lifting. As you know, last October I joined Orange Theory and something happened on that treadmill that I wasn't expecting. I remembered what it felt like to push.
to compete with myself, to be someone who does hard physical things just because I can. She was still there. She had just been waiting. And this is what romanticizing your life actually looks like to me. Not the aesthetic, not the linen and the candles, but noticing what's already there, claiming it, not letting it slipped past you again.
Kelly (01:20)
Welcome back to Chasing Brighter. I am Kelly and this is Jessica. that is the perfect entry point for today's episode. And honestly, the most honest definition of romanticizing your life that I've ever heard. It sounded really good, Jess. So let's get into it.
what does romanticizing your life actually mean? And I think this is great. I always think about this too in terms of, I kind of use this phrase, I mean, I wouldn't say seldom, but I do use the phrase on occasion. So the term has been everywhere and slow living, aesthetic coffee photos,
cottagecore, like all these things where it seems like, know, people who are, you know, posing for beautiful pictures on their social media. The really core idea though is paying attention to the ordinary, finding beauty in small treat your everyday life like it's really worth noticing. And it's actually an ancient and wise thing. I just finished this book.
called mastery right here. And ⁓ one of the topics in the back, one of the last chapters was really tied to this, which was like sort of like finding mastery in everyday life. And I really just loved that thought. And I feel like, you know, it's the attention is the point sometimes of doing this stuff and not the.
Jessica Colarco (02:30)
Mm-hmm.
Kelly (02:50)
linen apron. So it's like showing the pretty stuff and not necessarily that like, you know, making it fun or making it kind of right.
Jessica Colarco (02:57)
Yeah, no,
always, it didn't make sense to me. Like, that's not intuitive to what I thought romanticizing is, right? Because it's like, if someone's like, my gosh, I miss when the kids were babies, it was amazing. Well, and you're like, you're just romanticizing that. Like, the real part of it was really hard. But what romanticizing your life is, right, is...
Kelly (03:13)
Yeah.
Jessica Colarco (03:20)
being intentional and in the now and present and really deliberately being in it. And so the opposite of romanticizing your life is living on autopilot, moving through days efficiently, completing tasks, getting through it. But your actual life washes past you because you're already at the next thing. You know, the orange theory piece is a perfect example for me.
Kelly (03:31)
Yes.
Jessica Colarco (03:44)
where I put my workouts in the calendar, I protect them, I don't move them for anyone, and it's not a productivity hack, this is me claiming something that is mine, and I refuse to let it get swallowed.
I have a friend that goes with me every time, so that accountability with her is part of it too. We created a ritual around something that matters to us, and that's romanticizing your life in real time. The athlete identity piece, noticing that my Jessica athlete has been here and choosing to show up for her, that's exactly what this is. I also think, I know what else has been going around that people say, you're 80 years old and then one day you wake up
and you see your partner and they're strong and healthy and your kids are young again. And so they're always like, how would you?
Like if you're taking your life for granted now, how would you change that? And I felt that last night, you know, we're so burnt out, we were so burnt out at the end of the year. And it's like, everyone was kind of going their own separate way in the house. And I was like, okay, am I taking for granted that all my kids are still in the house? And so then Giovanni and I snuggled and, you know, watched a movie. And so I loved that, but.
You and I talked a lot in May about identity, you know, and about what is truly your value versus performance. And so, are you just performing things right now and you're not living in it? And so for me, the gym is mine, it's not for anyone else, and that clarity of knowing that that is just mine is rare. And so, that's why I think for me it's just one of the most honest examples of what this practice looks like, is it's like,
what you're not performing, but something that's just for you.
Kelly (05:27)
Yes, and you know, I think you can look at this from a lot of different angles and this cynicism about the idea comes from the way that we package things and like just culturally, like you need a certain kind of like to life to access it or a certain type of body to access it or it's like all these things you need this one thing but really
Jessica Colarco (05:39)
Yeah.
Right.
Kelly (05:52)
As we all know, there's like no there there. It's like, you know, it's taking a slow morning. And it's about.
Jessica Colarco (06:01)
You don't
have to have a beautiful kitchen to sit and have a slow cup of coffee, right? Like you're saying, it's those slow moments, right?
Kelly (06:10)
Yep. It's really taking, I think this is like the situational awareness too in a lot of ways where it's like, that first sip of coffee is genuinely good, like taking that moment, like really being intentional and being aware of what you're doing in a way that is wonderful, right? And it's about the attention, attention to what you're doing that's part of this.
After finishing that bookmaster I was talking about, I started getting into laundry. And I went to Claude. I had Claude do this full laundry plan for me. have LG, I have two sets of LG washers and dryers in this house and they both are very different. And I uploaded the model numbers and I was like, okay, show me how to, I want to be the best laundress I can be sort of thing. And I,
I'm amazed at some of the things I've been cleaning. get addicted to it. But, you know, it's all of sudden I've kind of put this attention on doing the laundry. you know, I don't have, like, I'm sure the washer and dryers I have are like eight years old, but it's like sitting, like thinking about the things that you do have in your life in some way and really putting some attention on them and ⁓ finding joy in those moments and not...
Jessica Colarco (07:11)
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
Kelly (07:25)
not waiting for something to happen or something to change for that to happen.
Jessica Colarco (07:30)
Yeah, and I did want to add really quick Kel too that we do have a free download for June. We're so excited about it because this one's called Choose Your Own Adventure Summer Planning. It is a template with big anchors, small rituals, and a joy inventory. It's a whole summer in one document, free when you sign up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com.
Kelly (07:54)
Yep. So go grab it. Your summer will thank you.
Jessica Colarco (07:59)
Yes. And so like what you're talking about, Kelly, is orientation more than activity, right? You decide once that your life is worth paying attention to and then you find small ways to act on it.
Kelly (08:11)
Yep.
Jessica Colarco (08:14)
So, have a noticing practice, right? Once a day, notice one specific thing that you would have let pass unregistered. Not a gratitude list, just one thing held for a moment. And summer is a perfect time to try this because the conditions are actually there. Light, warmth, a slightly different pace. The world is offering you something. The practice is just receiving it. So, what this might look like in your life,
sitting and sort of like chugging your coffee because you forgot about it. It's like really focusing on what is your iced coffee actually tastes like. The moment before a game, you take a breath or for me, like the feeling after a hard workout class to help me remember where I am. So I think for me, what I've been trying to do, which I kind of said a little bit.
more, and maybe that is because I'm having a child kind of launching off to college, is I would let pass by that we're all in the house at the same time and maybe just like grabbing food and we have gotten really messy and sloppy about not eating together as a family. And so I have been very intentional about all of us coming together and sitting and eating. And so that is one simple example of how I've been romanticizing my life.
Kelly (09:38)
I love my first cup of coffee and, ⁓ a lot of times I do try to sit and, really savor that first cup, especially in the summertime. ⁓ you know, going outside and sipping it, you don't have to have a beautiful back. You don't have a patio, you don't have beautiful furniture. can sit on your front porch and just really kind of enjoying that. And, you know, research backs this up. there is, professor.
Fred Bryant at Loyola University of Chicago that talked, he did some study.
that the ability to notice, appreciate and extend positive experiences is a learnable skill that directly correlates to wellbeing. And so it's really this moment about being in your awareness and the attention to what you're doing, not going through life on autopilot and being grateful for that. love, I think I'm having even a hard time with Wes not wanting to play baseball anymore because I love being outside and sitting at a baseball field and being, seeing different
places and just being having an excuse to be outside and sit and watch something. Because that's really like just having that moment doesn't have to be a beautiful park and a luxurious thing. So that's sort of what I like to enjoy too. And really trying to think more and I don't necessarily do it all the time where you're in these moments. I had a moment. I took a picture when we were at Utah.
Jessica Colarco (10:44)
Yeah.
Kelly (10:58)
this past weekend when Beck was at a soccer tournament because, you know, he's sitting there playing and it had snowed on the mountains that morning and it was just this beautiful mountainous backdrop and Utah is like, Salt Lake City area is like a mountain hug, you know, and so really the whole, you know, having that attention of like sitting there for a moment and not just being an autopilot, but taking a step back and really being, paying attention to where you are and find joy in that.
Jessica Colarco (11:13)
Yeah.
Kelly (11:24)
that moment.
Jessica Colarco (11:28)
Let's move to our brighter moves for this week. And my brighter move for you all is a noticing practice. And just once a day, pause and notice one specific ordinary thing. Not abstract gratitude, but something very specific. The color of something, the sound of something, the way something feels, and let that register for 10 seconds. That's the whole practice.
Kelly (11:29)
So.
Jessica Colarco (11:56)
I know that can even be for like fashion. You know, Kelly and I love fashion and I'm wearing the outfit that I've talked about from Aerie that I'm obsessed with. And so that's my noticing today. It is so soft and cozy and it's a beautiful color. And so I just wanna sit with it and notice it. And so I think that can even include fashion.
Kelly (12:19)
I love that. think that's ⁓ a great idea. tip and practice would be one activity this week, whether it's making coffee or driving somewhere or eating lunch, but really do it in sort of this moment of doing that act. Don't busy it with putting TV on or having any sort of like screen or podcast going.
but just literally that activity and see what you notice when there's nothing competing for your attention.
Jessica Colarco (12:52)
Yeah, yes.
Kelly (12:53)
in summary for this, as you kind of go through this episode and talk through it, the practice is actually just sort of like staying where you are long enough so that you can feel it and find the joy in being in that moment.
Jessica Colarco (13:10)
next week, we're talking about how June feels different this year. You know, a season is ending, a new one is beginning, and we want to give you permission to actually land in it. So next week, we're talking about what it means to slow down before life makes you.
Kelly (13:10)
about next week, Jess? Yeah.
Yes, and it's a good one for sure. we're looking forward to sharing it with you guys. And it's on Thursday.
Jessica Colarco (13:35)
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for listening. Remember to visit us at chasingbrighter.com for the blog and newsletter.
Kelly (13:42)
and at Chasing Brighter on Instagram and our other socials Have a great week. See you Thursday.
