WEBVTT
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Hello everyone, welcome to Brain Glitter.
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I am Bethany Hall.
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And I am Sam Griffin.
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And today we are talking about the power of connecting with strangers.
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You know, those random interactions you get when you're at the supermarket or you're at a bar.
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At a bar, having a happy hour.
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Those connections that we feel like sometimes are dwindling in our lives due to social media and people being a little more isolated.
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But it's so fun.
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And sometimes those connections can lead to a great friendship, and sometimes they're just for like that moment, and you like never forget that moment.
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Yes.
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And I love that.
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Yes, I made one joke to my barista one time, and now he eats dinner with my family.
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You know?
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Those kind of connections.
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That's what we're looking for.
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And our guest today is, in my opinion, the best connection maker.
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Our guest today is Nigin Farsad.
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She is a comedian, filmmaker, a regular panelist and guest host on NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
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She's also the host of Fake the Nation podcast and Ted.com's new democracy series, The Great Experiment.
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I mean, I would be happy to just do one of those things.
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How does she do them all?
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I don't know.
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That's so impressive.
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You know something else though?
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She's so impressive.
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And she makes time for your favorite thing.
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Happy hour.
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Oh god, my favorite thing.
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Let's leave.
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Should we go get a drink?
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Let's go.
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This is Brain Glitter.
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We like to start off with a little game called Confetti and Regretti, where we share one regret and one nugget of joy from the past few weeks.
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You wanna go?
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You want me to go?
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You want to play rock, paper, scissors?
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Let's do rock, paper, scissors.
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You ready?
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Rock, paper, scissors.
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Shoot! Got it.
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Alright.
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I choose you go first.
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Okay.
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Here's my regretti.
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Okay.
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It's an honest one.
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Okay.
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I feel like I'm working a lot, which is great.
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And I'm parenting a lot, which is my favorite thing.
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But I feel like right now, when I take away those two things, I'm a little bit floating.
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Like I don't quite know who I am or how I I even identify myself.
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And it's making me feel a little lost.
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Yeah.
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Do you feel that in those other spaces that you are yourself?
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When you're working and doing the like, you know what I mean?
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Are you are you yourself in those?
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Yeah, I think so.
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And I'm like, do I like who I am when you strip those things away from me?
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I mean, that's alright.
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We all go through those phases.
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Thanks, buddy.
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Yeah, no problem.
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I'll you'll find your way.
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I believe you.
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Thanks, bud.
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My confetti is that I have no bathroom routine.
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I basically it drives my husband crazy.
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I do not lotion, I do not potion, I barely wash my face.
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I shampoo once a week, probably, maybe conditioner if I remember it.
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And I just go, you know, raw dog in the shower.
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Don't think that's the right word.
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War phrase, but well, we went with We're raw doggy.
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I mean, it's not bad.
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No, you look good.
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No, it's pretty good.
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Confetti, no potions.
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No potions in my life.
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Our guest today is comedian, filmmaker, and host of literally all the things.
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She's an incredible artist who blends logic and play and sometimes incorporates PowerPoints.
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Please welcome our guest and friend, Nagyen Farsad.
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Hey!
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Thanks so much for having me, guys.
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Thank you so much for being here.
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How are you doing, Naguen?
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I'm re I'm doing fine.
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Like our.
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Sorry, I did like just fondle the table.
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Um that feels good.
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It's really inviting.
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Yes.
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Um No, I'm doing well.
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Thank you so much.
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So usually we start off with a little game, and it's called Spill the Glitter, where we start a sentence and you finish it.
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Okay.
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Are you ready to do this game?
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Let's do it.
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All right.
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I'll start.
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The compliment I love hearing is.
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Me, that's a really like a tough one because my the like lady side of me wants it to be like, you're so gorgeous, and everybody wants to do you.
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You know what I mean?
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Like that's like what the compliment I want.
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But then, like, like I think I got a like a message the other literally yesterday because of like a a way, wait, don't tell me appearance, and someone was just like, you always have such great tags, and your wit is 10 out of 10.
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And I was like, like it just made me feel so good that a stranger thinks I have good tags, which is a very c inside comedy term.
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I think to be complimented on some on something that has to do with my brain, I feel is always my favorite.
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But I would totally do you.
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So that's a problem.
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Yeah, because I I gotta be honest, I do like those compliments as well.
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It's like it's a dueling like favorite.
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Okay, I feel like a badass win.
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I do feel like a there's a here's a very particular moment in time when you're at the doctor's office and you have to fill out one of the 45 forms and it says occupation, and I write comedian.
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That is that is that feels really good.
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It's it's not common, and it's rr true.
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You know what I mean?
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And I find every time I'm like comedian?
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Am I allowed to say this?
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Oh my god, I am.
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You know what I mean?
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And it feels like I'm a badass.
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Does that start a conversation when you get your clothes off and you're in your apron?
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You know, like one time this woman who was a gynecologist, and I was uh in the stirrups.
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And she was like, um, uh, you know what?
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I I have to be honest, I I've seen you on high maintenance.
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And it's weird when someone's like looking inside of you to be like, I recognize you from a TV show.
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You know what I mean?
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Recognize your outside of the show.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And it's weird that she thought of high maintenance while looking inside, you know.
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I know, I know, I know, I know.
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So um I was like, oh, this is so interesting.
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Like it it would there, maybe in the gynecologist office, there's never really a great time for them to say that they, you know, recognize you.
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Last, but not least.
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Joy is I mean, for me, it is people.
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It's just people.
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That's it.
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It's it's people I know, it's people I don't know.
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Um, it's almost especially people I don't know.
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Some people, I don't know, need spa treatments or something, but I think I just need like tons of interaction.
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I think that's so special about you.
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Yeah.
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That that I identify with, but I don't pursue as actively as you do.
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Interesting.
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Thank you.
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So are you fight like do you find the energy in the meeting of other people?
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Is that what's like fills?
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Yeah.
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And it's interesting because it's not even like um I I like meeting other people, and then, you know, like I was so good at online dating.
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What do you mean?
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You earn it here first, folks.
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Was it her brains?
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No.
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Was it her looks?
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It's not even because I I can't swipe right, swipe right.
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Yes, yes, yes.
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I feel like people want to be good at online dating and they're not, you know?
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Yeah.
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And I think part of the reason I was good is whatever this built-in genetic code of like wanting to be around people and meet people.
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Um, because I would set up, you know, first of all, I only went out with people that like I chose because I feel like men just don't have like a good track record on choosing.
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Um, and so that was like the first thing.
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And then the second thing was like I would email them and I'd be like, uh, hey, that's a nice hat or something, whatever.
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And they would be like, Oh, you too.
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And then I'd be like, Great, should we have a drink?
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And like it would, I just wouldn't let it go on.
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And then we'd meet at like, let's say, 7 p.m.
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at a bar, and I'd arrive and I'd say, I only have an hour.
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So everything was condensed into this short time frame, and I would say, and then I would, you know, because uh you know within five minutes if you ever want to like do that person.
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And like in my and like in my case, I'd be like, okay, I've determined that I do not want to do this person.
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So I have 55 more minutes to fill, and I would just be like, okay, awesome.
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I'm gonna find out everything I can find out about this person.
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And every time something interesting came, like I literally remember just going down the path of asking questions of this one guy, and he was a teacher, and he's and he started crying by the end because he was like he he was telling me about a moment in teaching that he felt like he didn't handle well.
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Oh, and literally, again, didn't go on a second date.
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No, but I was just like, it this is fascinating.
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What makes people feel this strongly, you know?
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Um, and and what what kind of things sort of like are these, you know, um skeletons in people's closets.
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I always found something fascinating about all these men I didn't want to ever see again.
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I think that playfulness though comes from your ability to change your expectations on the spot in the moment.
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Yeah, because then I I I went from like, okay, this is not a boyfriend, this is just a really possibly interesting person, you know, um, a stranger that I get to meet, how awesome.
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And then I would just g launch into that part of it, which meant that I got a lot of second date offers because they were like, oh my god, she had such a great time with me.
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Like she was actually so many qu she was so animated, and it's like they didn't realize that I was animated because I like people and not because I liked them in a boyfriend way.
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I was the opposite.
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I always wanted the next date, and nobody wanted the next date.
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For me, yeah, it was painful.
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Everybody just wanted to be my friend.
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Uh well that's cool.
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I was friends, I was friend zoned my whole life.
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That's cool though.
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I was having friends is, you know.
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Did you have experience with my experience is that people would skip over wanting to date me and go straight to want to marry me?
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I've been proposed to more than I think I've been asked on dates.
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But it would always be for a man who saw me jump into a relationship with somebody else and then realized that they were in love with me the whole time.
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Oh my god.
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I didn't get proposals, but I did get a lot of like, you're the one that got away from dudes.
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And I'm like, in exactly what way did I get away?
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In fact, I feel like you pushed me away in many.
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In fact, I was there for a long time.
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I like was really sticking it out, and then I just then I left and there was no getting away or whatever.
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It was like, there was no escape car.
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Yeah.
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I want to talk to you, Nikkeen, about loneliness, about finding connection, about the joy of talking to strangers.
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Yeah.
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Because we feel like people are really lonely right now.
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Yeah.
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Really curious to know what you think of loneliness and what's kind of at the root of that.
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Yeah, I mean, it's interesting because, like, you know, I, you know, I I have a bit about this.
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The United Nations releases a report on the happiest countries in the world, and the United States has fallen out of the top 20.
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And the reason is because people under 30 bring down our numbers, they're less happy.
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And I think that is really attributable to like how they were raised with, you know, technology, um, because people under 30 day don't go out and they don't have sex.
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And now, this is like according to the data.
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Yeah.
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Um, and I think in, you know, um in in my day, like I literally I did have go out a ton, and I did have sex a ton, you know.
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And so I that made a difference in like j I think just m our generation's ability to kind of like go out and hang out, and like that was normalized for us.
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This one time, so I had this New Year's resolution to like talk to anyone every anywhere I could.
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And um, and I remember this one time I went to this Cinnamon cinnamon bun shop, um, not a Cinnabon, uh, but a Sunday morning thingies village.
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And I walk in and there was like someone in their 20s who was wearing headphones.
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And so I go, Wow, I wonder what flavor I should get.
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Which one are you getting?
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Trying to get through the noise, you know, and she was just like, huh, you know, and then like she takes off her headphones, which I was like, win number one.
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And she's like, I don't know.
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I was thinking of getting the classic because it's my first time.
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And I was like, oh my God, it's my first time too.
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I'm thinking about the classic.
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Maybe I'll get the a separate flavor from my husband and we'll split, you know.
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Then it just turned into a conversation about pastries.
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And I honestly feel like she had a hit of dopamine.
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I don't want to speak for this stranger, but I will.
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And like, I actually feel like everybody naturally wants more of this.
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I'm out here with naked ears all the time, slut ears.
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I'm basically asking for those lobes, damn.
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Right?
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Yeah.
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And I and and people are so, you know, uh in their in their isolated silos that they don't, they're not trying to talk to me.
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And I think it's is a little bit of uh these poor kids, especially the kids in their early 20s, they grew up right as COVID was happening, and like they just fell into themselves and now need permission to come out.
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To come out.
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It's also a bad habit.
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Like it's habitual for them to just put their like and they put it on and they never take them off.
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Yeah.
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You know, we all do those things.
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So if you get in the bad habit of always going to the self-checkout line at the grocery store and don't talk to anybody instead of once in a while going to the checkout where somebody check like rings you and you say, How is it?
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And then and that's an interesting, you know, The Atlantic wrote a piece recently that talked about the checkout line because the curious thing, and there's no real data on this, but like anecdotally, what they found was that people would choose to stand in line for the self-checkout rather than go into the shorter line where a human being was the cashier.
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And it's because of this phenomenon of like everybody has gone in and now they just like don't really like know how to like break out of themselves, even when it's more convenient and faster to do so.
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And I find that shocking because I'll always go to a human being.
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Yep.
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Even if it's not scintillating conversation, even if that person has no time, like just the idea that we're like engaging in something together for a brief moment, even in silence, I prefer that to like what I'm in communion with a machine.
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Yeah.
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So for folks who are a little bit hesitant about having that human interaction for whatever variety of reasons.
00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:11.919
Sure.
00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:12.960
Do you have hot tips?
00:15:12.960 --> 00:15:16.399
Do you have hot like pick friend pickup lines, stranger lines?
00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:17.279
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:29.360
That's that's that's that's interesting because I think like so during COVID is when I really learned about myself that like I need 12 to 36 interactions a day.
00:15:29.360 --> 00:15:33.440
That's like that I mainline like right through here.
00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:36.080
I just realized, like, oh my god, I'm gonna lose my mind.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:41.519
Like, I started going to this cafe that had, you know, outside seating.
00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:48.399
I would see these people that would go to the same coffee shop every day, and I would recognize their faces, and I'd be like, man, that person was here.
00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:52.960
You kind of have to go at the same time every day to like see who you're gonna see.
00:15:52.960 --> 00:16:00.720
And then I noticed a couple of them were chatting, and they would be like, Oh yeah, I'm catching up on Game of Thrones, blah, blah, blah.
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:07.360
And then one day, because I too have social anxiety, I too worry about rejection.
00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:10.000
I'm not a robot, you know what I mean?
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:12.720
I I also worry about those things, right?
00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:17.039
Even though I it seems like I'm good at it, I am not necessarily good at it.
00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:26.399
I just the only thing I do is just in that moment where social anxiety is gonna shut me down, I say no, and I overcome it.
00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:27.840
And that's the only difference, right?
00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:31.600
And so, and these people were like talking about Game of Thrones or whatever.
00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:35.360
And I was just like, I too have seen Game of Thrones.
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:38.320
And I just jumped in.
00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:39.600
Draconis.
00:16:39.600 --> 00:16:49.919
And then literally we're talking about whatever, and then I see them again, you know, a couple days later, and then I see them again.
00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:54.960
And it and it turns out a bunch of those people had been going to the coffee shop for years the same time.
00:16:54.960 --> 00:17:02.000
I I basically merged myself into a group of like 25 people that are regulars.
00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:03.279
Oh, nice.
00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:07.599
And now I have a place where like where everybody knows your name.
00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:14.240
Because I literally walk in and I'm like, there's like at least one or two out of the 25 people that I know that go here.
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:15.839
You have a community.
00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:16.240
Yeah.
00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:18.720
I'm really obsessed with community right now.
00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:18.960
Yeah.
00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:25.200
Because I feel and I feel like there's a million ways to find it, but it's so important to have it.
00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:30.799
And my good friend Keisha Zahler and I talk a lot about the importance of finding community.
00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:34.079
And so many of our experiences right now feel transactional.
00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:34.480
Yes.
00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:42.160
Where it's like, what's in it for me to show up at Xbox at the coffee shop, at the synagogue, at the church, whatever it is.
00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:49.359
Like, and it's like there's so much hidden joy in just people knowing your name.
00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:49.759
Yeah.
00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:51.039
No, completely.
00:17:51.039 --> 00:18:02.559
Again, going back to like pointers, there's so many, you know, tricks of the trade available in the like finding community world.
00:18:02.559 --> 00:18:05.680
Um, a lot of them are just free.
00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:13.039
It's free to volunteer, it's free to get like, and then you end up meeting people, and I can't tell you how great it is to gossip with neighbors.
00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:13.759
Yes.
00:18:13.759 --> 00:18:14.240
Right?
00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:17.680
That's all anyone wants is to just like what's the chat?
00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:19.119
You know what I mean?
00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:22.000
Like, let's talk about these cinnamon buns.
00:18:24.079 --> 00:18:24.960
Right here.
00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:26.240
Yeah, exactly.
00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:36.160
So I feel like that is something that people there's probably I I guarantee there's there's uh there's like a volunteer opportunity that will give you friends.
00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:44.240
I also think it's about putting yourself in uncomfortable places, like not just going to the same place where you know everybody and you know everything that's gonna happen.
00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:48.960
Like the joy of part of meeting people is not knowing what's gonna happen.
00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:51.519
And I think people are afraid of rejection.
00:18:51.519 --> 00:19:07.039
And having performed in nearly every state of the union and having met people uh all across the political spectrum in every age group, I find that people actually, their instinct is not to reject.
00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:07.599
Yeah.
00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:08.559
You know what I mean?
00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:09.039
Yes.
00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:09.759
I agree.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:15.440
Like I've experienced enough of humanity at this point that I I can fairly say that.
00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:16.400
You know what?
00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:18.799
I think this calls for a quick competti break.
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:22.960
We'll be right back with Nagin Farsad in a minute.
00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:35.119
You don't necessarily seek out people within your bubble, within your ideologies.
00:19:35.119 --> 00:19:39.440
You kind of have a knack or attraction to king.
00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:44.079
King of having to school.
00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:51.440
For finding people who aren't exactly like you and finding commonality.
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:51.839
Yeah.
00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:52.960
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:19:52.960 --> 00:20:10.000
I j again, I think it goes back to like, oh man, I bet you that man wearing ammo on his person with his dog in, you know, Murfreesboro, Tennessee has some stories.
00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:14.559
And I just, it's not even, I just feel like where are the stories?
00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:15.599
You know what I mean?
00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:20.000
Like, I want to chat with this person because I'm sure they've like, where do they live?
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:21.279
Who do they live with?
00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:23.039
Like, what's this dog about?
00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:24.000
Where'd they get it?
00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:24.640
Like, I don't know.
00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:25.920
Just that's curiosity.
00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:28.640
I j it's curiosity, and I'm just curious about it.
00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:29.279
Their stories.
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:30.079
I love that.
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:37.680
It's almost the opposite of what I think so many people are doing right now, which is like, I see man in Tennessee with whatever, but yeah.
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:40.000
And I have something to teach them.
00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:57.359
Like I'm gonna Yeah, and I think, you know, so so I made this movie The Muslims are coming, where I took a bunch of Muslim American comedians on the road, and uh we did shows and we called the shows The Muslims are coming, and we did a lot of like we would meet people um on the streets and uh we have you know film all these interactions, turn it into a movie, blah blah blah.
00:20:57.359 --> 00:21:02.559
And um I I said you know, you just make a movie the judge or something.
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:03.839
No big deal.
00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:04.720
Yep, yep, got it.
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:06.559
Just gonna lean over that.
00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:17.519
And then but I think what was interesting was this is where I feel like I adjusted that instinct, the teaching instincts.
00:21:17.519 --> 00:21:18.079
Uh-huh.
00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:22.559
Because people would say to me, What do you think of 9-11?
00:21:22.559 --> 00:21:33.680
And I think even at that time where Twitter was, where the internet was, everyone's instinct around a question like that, if you're a Muslim, is to be angry at that question.
00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:42.400
And I think the I like I kind of like this improv approach, which is like not to shut down the question, you know what I mean?
00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:46.160
And to instead be to try and like put myself in their shoes.
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:59.759
Like if I'm in, you know, Tupelo, Mississippi, which I think is where one of the places I got that question, um uh sh this person who do this this elderly woman who's asking me this question, and she wonders what I think of 9 11.
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:04.880
It's not awesome, but here's my chance to tell her.
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:12.720
And she might be shocked to know I too think it was revolting and horrible, right?
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:16.960
And so I just took look at those things as an opportunity.
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:27.279
I don't get mad because I if someone was to say something to me about Burmese cuisine, I'm gonna ask a dumb question because I don't know anything about Burmese cuisine.
00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:36.160
And that person could be mad about it, or they can just be like, I'm gonna teach her something about Burmese cuisine, I'm not gonna share, I'm gonna just see where her perspective is.
00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:37.359
And it'll be fun.
00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:39.599
It doesn't have to be a conflict.
00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:51.920
I know that you find yourself in moments where stakes could be raised, intention could get ugly or dangerous, and you have an ability to level things.
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:57.759
I I love this story and I'd love for you to tell it about the time you had protesters in the rain.
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:06.880
Yeah, so like I was I was going to Washington State to Centralia, Washington, and I arrived at the theater and there was like maybe 20, 25 people protesting me.
00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:10.960
Um, because I thought I was gonna turn everyone in uh into Muslims.
00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:16.480
And um and so I which I also think is um is fun.
00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:18.319
Um it's just like a fun expectation.
00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:18.720
Yeah.
00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:20.640
And I'm like, it didn't, it never works.
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:45.440
Um I so I arrive and and the, you know, and I and then the the pr everyone's like really embarrassed by this situation, and it starts to rain because we're in, you know, um northwestern, you know, Washington, and um and I go up to the protesters and I was just like, um, hey guys, first of all, I'm oddly honored that you're here because you spent money on poster board for me, like for me.
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:49.200
It's like it, it's it's it's an it hasn't happened.
00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:51.440
And um, but it's raining.
00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:54.240
So why don't you go inside and watch the show?
00:23:54.240 --> 00:24:01.039
You can sit in the back, and then when it's you know, and then when the show's over, you can run right back out and then keep protesting me.
00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:07.759
And they were like, uh, well, and like they thought about it and they were like, no, but maybe we'll sit in the lobby.
00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:10.400
And I was like, yeah, totally sit in the lobby.
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:13.119
It's silly for you guys to stay out here in the rain.
00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:19.279
And so they wait, you know, I did the show, they waited in the lobby, and then when the show was done, they came back out, they kept protesting, whatever.
00:24:19.279 --> 00:24:24.720
Um, and that was one of those situations the and the producers were like really embarrassed, really apologetic.
00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:27.920
And I was like, no, like this is amazing.
00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:37.119
Like these people have every right to protest me, and that's what's great about this country, and I have every right to perform, and that's what's great about this country.
00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:41.039
And so we're both just letting these First Amendment rights play out with dignity.
00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:45.359
I think it's disarming when you diffuse situations.
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:52.480
I think a powerful skill, and it doesn't require skill, it just requires not taking the bait.
00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:53.279
Yes.
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:59.039
I every time I've heard you tell that story, I get full-body children.
00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:00.640
Oh god, I'm glad.
00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:05.440
It just it's I think it we all have a lot to learn from that example.
00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:08.000
I want to go back to meeting strangers.
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:09.680
Do you have uh two questions?
00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:12.319
Do you have a favorite stranger you've met?
00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:16.240
And where's the best place to find them?
00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:18.559
Where are they hiding?
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:19.440
Where are the strangers?
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:22.400
Again, where are the strangers hiding?
00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:24.240
You know what's funny?
00:25:24.240 --> 00:25:38.559
Just recently I remember like um meeting this woman maybe a few weeks ago, because it w we both went to the same, like a different coffee shop than my normal, because I was getting it was like a pastry shop slash coffee shop.
00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:39.839
Don't worry about it, guys.
00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:50.799
And um, and the and this woman was sitting outside in like a patch of sun, you know, and it was a very cold day, and it just seemed like she was like having a lovely moment.
00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:59.839
And I was like, and I said something to her, like, oh, you're really like really taking in this like r mini patch of sun we're getting on this cool day.
00:25:59.839 --> 00:26:04.400
And she was just like, Oh, yeah, it's like I like to, you know, take a second when you can or whatever.
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:05.920
And I was like, dude, totally.
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:07.519
And then we chat, we chat, we chat.
00:26:07.519 --> 00:26:12.799
And then it gets into like her dating life, which is like my favorite topic of anything, you know?
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:20.799
And this woman is like in her 60s, and she talked about dating a man who then came out to her as non-binary and what that was like.
00:26:20.799 --> 00:26:26.079
And I was like, wow, this is fascinating because it's also like I don't hear that very much from that age group.
00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:36.160
Yeah, like someone who's like pushing 70 who has a dating story about then realizing that the person they're dating is non-binary and what do they do with that and how to now, you know.
00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:40.559
I also just think it's really fascinating how quickly people get deep.
00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:47.200
I mean, this was in the space of we I was waiting for some kind of sandwich.
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:48.160
Do you know what I mean?
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:50.480
And you got a full overshare sandwich.
00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:52.559
You got all the extra tapping.
00:26:52.559 --> 00:26:55.039
And she was, and it was so fun.
00:26:55.039 --> 00:27:08.240
And it also, I think the other thing about it was that it it did a it did something to me, which was man, I think people who are pushing 70 don't have as much fun as this woman is having, and I need to like readjust.
00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:15.680
You know, I like might go into some of these conversations thinking, ah, this person's older, they're not, you know, out there, but you know.
00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:19.680
And this woman just completely like shattered those expectations.
00:27:19.680 --> 00:27:22.240
And that's so great when that happens.
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:27.680
I love it when that happens, because then you're like, oh, I don't know everything about people.
00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:28.799
You know what I mean?
00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:30.640
People will surprise you at every turn.
00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:35.200
I thought I also think you have this crazy ability for people to overshare to you.
00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:44.480
Like I've just been sitting here and wanting to tell you my whole life story, so I don't know what energy that that is, but I also think that's a weird magnetic thing that you do.
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:45.119
Right.
00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:52.160
You know, but when you were younger, did you have somebody that showed you to how to do this, or did you just figure this out on your own?
00:27:52.400 --> 00:28:00.240
Um, you know what I kind of feel like is like everyone could benefit from drama class right story.
00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:02.079
I agree with that so hard.
00:28:02.079 --> 00:28:05.200
And I like it doesn't matter if you're in science or da-da-da.
00:28:05.200 --> 00:28:08.000
And because I think I was like a quiet kid.
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:18.799
And like I got I got into drama in high school and it was a brain opening, and it made me feel so much more comfortable with so many different types of people.
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:25.920
I think there's something about pretending not to be yourself that helps you be yourself even more.
00:28:26.240 --> 00:28:27.839
And that's the show everybody.
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:32.079
I say this I feel the same way about improv.
00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:32.799
Yes.
00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:34.720
I think everyone should take an improv class.
00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:36.160
I don't think what you want to do with it.
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:36.559
I agree.
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:38.160
It makes you a better person.
00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:39.039
And a budget class.
00:28:39.039 --> 00:28:41.279
I feel like we should have all taken a budget class in high school.
00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:43.359
And learned how to deal with the credit cards.
00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:45.920
We still need to take a budget class.
00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:49.440
Don't we all it's also a great place to make friends.
00:28:49.440 --> 00:28:50.000
Ooh.
00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:50.400
It is.
00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:51.920
And find people to hook up with.
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:56.559
Yes! Nikkeen, is there anything we didn't cover that you just want to say?
00:28:56.559 --> 00:28:58.880
No, I I I love all of this.
00:28:58.880 --> 00:28:59.680
This was great.
00:28:59.680 --> 00:29:00.240
Thank you.
00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:01.440
Can you plug anything?
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:02.079
Yeah.
00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:04.160
Um, well, you know what's interesting?
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:11.359
Right now, there's just two little things that I did recently that I want that I mentioned because I think it's maybe motivating us.
00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:23.839
We we're maybe at a time where we're like not thinking so highly of our country, but I do love America, and I I feel like my job my role my right now is to like remind people that there's still things to love.
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:44.400
And I gave a commencement address um a few months ago at uh Lawrence uh Technological University, and and I feel like it, I I try to make the case, you know, for the inspir it for the optimism we should still have about this country, of which I have so much and I'm happy to share.
00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:48.720
Like um if you're if your sources of optimism are dwindling.
00:29:48.720 --> 00:30:15.440
Um and I also, in the along the same vein, uh I'm host I hosted this TED Democracy series uh where they dispatched me to Philadelphia and we did this series called The Great Experiment, and um we learned about like, first of all, like how difficult democracy is to get off, you know, get on its feet, how long it's taking us to get the suffrage that we know and love today, at the levels that we have them today.
00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:24.079
Um different types, you know, we we talked to like um old school lesbian activists in Philadelphia who had a group called the Dyke Tactics who would stage kissins.
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:25.279
They're so good with their name.
00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:26.000
Right, so good.
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:26.960
So good with their nation.
00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:33.279
And just and so good with like the crazy wild art-filled um activism that they did.
00:30:33.279 --> 00:30:45.279
And it's just, I I think again, if like if you're having a hard time believing in America right now, um check out some of these things and maybe they'll help because I want you to like join me in believing again.
00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:46.480
Wow.
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:49.440
Jeez, well she said it all.
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:50.160
She said it.
00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:51.759
Thank you so much.
00:30:51.759 --> 00:30:53.440
God bless America.
00:30:53.599 --> 00:30:54.319
Oh thank you.
00:30:54.559 --> 00:30:55.359
God bless you.
00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:56.240
Yes.
00:30:57.519 --> 00:31:00.400
Thank you so much for making time for us today, Nigene.
00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:01.680
Thank you so much for having me.
00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:02.400
This was so fun.
00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:05.839
Now let's turn these cameras off so we can get into more dating.
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:07.279
Yeah, definitely.
00:31:11.759 --> 00:31:15.839
Before we go, we'd like to end this episode by spreading the joy.
00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:23.680
So we asked our guests to give a quick toast to someone, living or dead, who made their life brighter, lighter, and more joyful.
00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:32.319
I wanted to record a celebration of life moment for one of my best friends from high school, Leonard Della Cruz.
00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:36.559
He was one of the funniest guys you've ever met.
00:31:36.559 --> 00:31:43.680
He did voices, he did physicality, I'm making him sound like a clown, but it was all like at an elite level, hilarious.
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:53.200
And as my gay bestie, one of the great things about him was that he would just tell me directly and bluntly to my face if I looked like garbage.
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:56.559
And I feel like you really need someone like that in your life.
00:31:56.559 --> 00:32:00.720
So many people are careful about that kind of thing, not Leonard.
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:05.920
And for that, I miss him so much and I celebrate him deeply.
00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:12.319
Thank you so much for listening to Brain Glitter.
00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:16.880
If you know someone who would enjoy this episode, please hit that little share button and pass it along.
00:32:17.119 --> 00:32:23.920
To learn more about our guests, you can sign up for our newsletter at brainglitter.com and follow us on all the socials at Brain Glitter Pod.
00:32:23.920 --> 00:32:31.519
Brain Glitter is a production of Who Says Studios and Skip Offinsons, created and hosted by Sam Griffin and Bethany Hall.
00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:45.680
We are so grateful for our little glitter factory, including Keith Haskell, Jordana Jason, Claire Kenny, Jen Cambridge, Paul Viedelins, Emily Fuller, and the brilliant team at Manhattan Neighborhood Networks.
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:48.559
Our theme music was created by Cameron Myers.
00:32:48.720 --> 00:32:56.480
And special thanks to our husbands, parents, families, and friends, the unofficial and unpaid co-authors of everything we bring to the mic.
00:32:56.480 --> 00:32:58.960
We can't wait to welcome you back the next time you hit play.
00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.599
And remember, let curiosity pull you forward.
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:03.680
Enjoy find you wherever you are.
00:33:03.920 --> 00:33:05.519
I mean, this episode is over.
00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:06.319
This is over.
00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:09.759
Thank you so much for joining us, everybody, and we will see you next time.
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:11.119
Can't wait.
00:00:02.959 --> 00:00:05.280
Hello everyone, welcome to Brain Glitter.
00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:06.480
I am Bethany Hall.
00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:07.919
And I am Sam Griffin.
00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:12.400
And today we are talking about the power of connecting with strangers.
00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:17.440
You know, those random interactions you get when you're at the supermarket or you're at a bar.
00:00:17.440 --> 00:00:19.679
At a bar, having a happy hour.
00:00:19.679 --> 00:00:28.320
Those connections that we feel like sometimes are dwindling in our lives due to social media and people being a little more isolated.
00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:29.920
But it's so fun.
00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:37.759
And sometimes those connections can lead to a great friendship, and sometimes they're just for like that moment, and you like never forget that moment.
00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:38.159
Yes.
00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:39.200
And I love that.
00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:44.479
Yes, I made one joke to my barista one time, and now he eats dinner with my family.
00:00:44.479 --> 00:00:45.119
You know?
00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:46.799
Those kind of connections.
00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:48.240
That's what we're looking for.
00:00:48.880 --> 00:00:55.039
And our guest today is, in my opinion, the best connection maker.
00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:57.840
Our guest today is Nigin Farsad.
00:00:57.840 --> 00:01:04.799
She is a comedian, filmmaker, a regular panelist and guest host on NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:12.239
She's also the host of Fake the Nation podcast and Ted.com's new democracy series, The Great Experiment.
00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:14.239
I mean, I would be happy to just do one of those things.
00:01:14.239 --> 00:01:15.040
How does she do them all?
00:01:15.040 --> 00:01:15.519
I don't know.
00:01:15.519 --> 00:01:16.879
That's so impressive.
00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:18.159
You know something else though?
00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:19.439
She's so impressive.
00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:22.640
And she makes time for your favorite thing.
00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:23.680
Happy hour.
00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:25.200
Oh god, my favorite thing.
00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:27.200
Let's leave.
00:01:27.519 --> 00:01:28.560
Should we go get a drink?
00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:29.359
Let's go.
00:01:29.359 --> 00:01:40.319
This is Brain Glitter.
00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:52.640
We like to start off with a little game called Confetti and Regretti, where we share one regret and one nugget of joy from the past few weeks.
00:01:52.640 --> 00:01:53.280
You wanna go?
00:01:53.280 --> 00:01:53.760
You want me to go?
00:01:53.760 --> 00:01:55.280
You want to play rock, paper, scissors?
00:01:55.680 --> 00:01:57.040
Let's do rock, paper, scissors.
00:01:57.200 --> 00:01:57.519
You ready?
00:01:57.519 --> 00:01:58.640
Rock, paper, scissors.
00:01:58.640 --> 00:02:00.000
Shoot! Got it.
00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.040
Alright.
00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:03.200
I choose you go first.
00:02:03.519 --> 00:02:03.840
Okay.
00:02:03.840 --> 00:02:07.280
Here's my regretti.
00:02:07.519 --> 00:02:07.760
Okay.
00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:09.199
It's an honest one.
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:09.840
Okay.
00:02:11.439 --> 00:02:16.240
I feel like I'm working a lot, which is great.
00:02:16.240 --> 00:02:20.479
And I'm parenting a lot, which is my favorite thing.
00:02:20.479 --> 00:02:28.080
But I feel like right now, when I take away those two things, I'm a little bit floating.
00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:34.560
Like I don't quite know who I am or how I I even identify myself.
00:02:34.560 --> 00:02:36.800
And it's making me feel a little lost.
00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:37.439
Yeah.
00:02:37.439 --> 00:02:43.360
Do you feel that in those other spaces that you are yourself?
00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:46.479
When you're working and doing the like, you know what I mean?
00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:47.680
Are you are you yourself in those?
00:02:48.159 --> 00:02:48.800
Yeah, I think so.
00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:53.280
And I'm like, do I like who I am when you strip those things away from me?
00:02:53.599 --> 00:02:54.639
I mean, that's alright.
00:02:54.639 --> 00:02:55.759
We all go through those phases.
00:02:57.039 --> 00:02:57.520
Thanks, buddy.
00:02:57.840 --> 00:02:58.319
Yeah, no problem.
00:02:58.319 --> 00:02:59.280
I'll you'll find your way.
00:02:59.280 --> 00:03:00.080
I believe you.
00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:01.039
Thanks, bud.
00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:05.759
My confetti is that I have no bathroom routine.
00:03:05.759 --> 00:03:08.000
I basically it drives my husband crazy.
00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:11.599
I do not lotion, I do not potion, I barely wash my face.
00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:16.639
I shampoo once a week, probably, maybe conditioner if I remember it.
00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:20.800
And I just go, you know, raw dog in the shower.
00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:23.280
Don't think that's the right word.
00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:27.199
War phrase, but well, we went with We're raw doggy.
00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:28.800
I mean, it's not bad.
00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:29.680
No, you look good.
00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:30.800
No, it's pretty good.
00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:32.400
Confetti, no potions.
00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:35.360
No potions in my life.
00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:44.319
Our guest today is comedian, filmmaker, and host of literally all the things.
00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:50.080
She's an incredible artist who blends logic and play and sometimes incorporates PowerPoints.
00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:54.080
Please welcome our guest and friend, Nagyen Farsad.
00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:55.360
Hey!
00:03:55.759 --> 00:03:57.439
Thanks so much for having me, guys.
00:03:57.680 --> 00:03:59.360
Thank you so much for being here.
00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:01.280
How are you doing, Naguen?
00:04:01.280 --> 00:04:04.159
I'm re I'm doing fine.
00:04:04.159 --> 00:04:05.039
Like our.
00:04:05.039 --> 00:04:09.039
Sorry, I did like just fondle the table.
00:04:09.039 --> 00:04:10.240
Um that feels good.
00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:11.680
It's really inviting.
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:12.319
Yes.
00:04:12.319 --> 00:04:14.080
Um No, I'm doing well.
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:15.199
Thank you so much.
00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:21.839
So usually we start off with a little game, and it's called Spill the Glitter, where we start a sentence and you finish it.
00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:22.160
Okay.
00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:23.439
Are you ready to do this game?
00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:24.160
Let's do it.
00:04:24.160 --> 00:04:24.720
All right.
00:04:24.720 --> 00:04:26.000
I'll start.
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:29.040
The compliment I love hearing is.
00:04:29.439 --> 00:04:38.800
Me, that's a really like a tough one because my the like lady side of me wants it to be like, you're so gorgeous, and everybody wants to do you.
00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:39.360
You know what I mean?
00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:41.199
Like that's like what the compliment I want.
00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:53.040
But then, like, like I think I got a like a message the other literally yesterday because of like a a way, wait, don't tell me appearance, and someone was just like, you always have such great tags, and your wit is 10 out of 10.
00:04:53.040 --> 00:05:02.319
And I was like, like it just made me feel so good that a stranger thinks I have good tags, which is a very c inside comedy term.
00:05:02.319 --> 00:05:08.160
I think to be complimented on some on something that has to do with my brain, I feel is always my favorite.
00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:09.439
But I would totally do you.
00:05:09.439 --> 00:05:11.040
So that's a problem.
00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:15.519
Yeah, because I I gotta be honest, I do like those compliments as well.
00:05:15.519 --> 00:05:18.319
It's like it's a dueling like favorite.
00:05:18.319 --> 00:05:21.680
Okay, I feel like a badass win.
00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:34.480
I do feel like a there's a here's a very particular moment in time when you're at the doctor's office and you have to fill out one of the 45 forms and it says occupation, and I write comedian.
00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:37.920
That is that is that feels really good.
00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:40.959
It's it's not common, and it's rr true.
00:05:40.959 --> 00:05:42.000
You know what I mean?
00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:45.199
And I find every time I'm like comedian?
00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:46.720
Am I allowed to say this?
00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:47.600
Oh my god, I am.
00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:48.480
You know what I mean?
00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:49.920
And it feels like I'm a badass.
00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:53.600
Does that start a conversation when you get your clothes off and you're in your apron?
00:05:53.839 --> 00:06:01.519
You know, like one time this woman who was a gynecologist, and I was uh in the stirrups.
00:06:01.519 --> 00:06:06.160
And she was like, um, uh, you know what?
00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:09.040
I I have to be honest, I I've seen you on high maintenance.
00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:15.199
And it's weird when someone's like looking inside of you to be like, I recognize you from a TV show.
00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:15.680
You know what I mean?
00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:17.360
Recognize your outside of the show.
00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:17.920
Yeah.
00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:18.399
Yeah.
00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:21.680
And it's weird that she thought of high maintenance while looking inside, you know.
00:06:22.160 --> 00:06:23.600
I know, I know, I know, I know.
00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:27.439
So um I was like, oh, this is so interesting.
00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:34.480
Like it it would there, maybe in the gynecologist office, there's never really a great time for them to say that they, you know, recognize you.
00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:36.800
Last, but not least.
00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:40.079
Joy is I mean, for me, it is people.
00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:41.199
It's just people.
00:06:41.199 --> 00:06:42.000
That's it.
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:44.959
It's it's people I know, it's people I don't know.
00:06:44.959 --> 00:06:48.240
Um, it's almost especially people I don't know.
00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:54.959
Some people, I don't know, need spa treatments or something, but I think I just need like tons of interaction.
00:06:56.079 --> 00:06:57.839
I think that's so special about you.
00:06:57.839 --> 00:06:59.920
Yeah.
00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:04.560
That that I identify with, but I don't pursue as actively as you do.
00:07:04.560 --> 00:07:05.519
Interesting.
00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:07.519
Thank you.
00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:12.639
So are you fight like do you find the energy in the meeting of other people?
00:07:12.639 --> 00:07:14.000
Is that what's like fills?
00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:14.959
Yeah.
00:07:14.959 --> 00:07:24.959
And it's interesting because it's not even like um I I like meeting other people, and then, you know, like I was so good at online dating.
00:07:26.160 --> 00:07:26.720
What do you mean?
00:07:26.959 --> 00:07:28.639
You earn it here first, folks.
00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:30.160
Was it her brains?
00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:30.639
No.
00:07:30.959 --> 00:07:31.920
Was it her looks?
00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:35.920
It's not even because I I can't swipe right, swipe right.
00:07:36.079 --> 00:07:37.199
Yes, yes, yes.
00:07:37.519 --> 00:07:40.639
I feel like people want to be good at online dating and they're not, you know?
00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:40.879
Yeah.
00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:48.639
And I think part of the reason I was good is whatever this built-in genetic code of like wanting to be around people and meet people.
00:07:48.639 --> 00:07:59.439
Um, because I would set up, you know, first of all, I only went out with people that like I chose because I feel like men just don't have like a good track record on choosing.
00:07:59.439 --> 00:08:01.759
Um, and so that was like the first thing.
00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:07.839
And then the second thing was like I would email them and I'd be like, uh, hey, that's a nice hat or something, whatever.
00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:09.680
And they would be like, Oh, you too.
00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:11.680
And then I'd be like, Great, should we have a drink?
00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:13.839
And like it would, I just wouldn't let it go on.
00:08:13.839 --> 00:08:16.000
And then we'd meet at like, let's say, 7 p.m.
00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:19.360
at a bar, and I'd arrive and I'd say, I only have an hour.
00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:30.000
So everything was condensed into this short time frame, and I would say, and then I would, you know, because uh you know within five minutes if you ever want to like do that person.
00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:36.000
And like in my and like in my case, I'd be like, okay, I've determined that I do not want to do this person.
00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:41.360
So I have 55 more minutes to fill, and I would just be like, okay, awesome.
00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:44.159
I'm gonna find out everything I can find out about this person.
00:08:44.159 --> 00:09:00.960
And every time something interesting came, like I literally remember just going down the path of asking questions of this one guy, and he was a teacher, and he's and he started crying by the end because he was like he he was telling me about a moment in teaching that he felt like he didn't handle well.
00:09:00.960 --> 00:09:04.399
Oh, and literally, again, didn't go on a second date.
00:09:04.399 --> 00:09:07.600
No, but I was just like, it this is fascinating.
00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:10.879
What makes people feel this strongly, you know?
00:09:10.879 --> 00:09:19.679
Um, and and what what kind of things sort of like are these, you know, um skeletons in people's closets.
00:09:19.679 --> 00:09:23.759
I always found something fascinating about all these men I didn't want to ever see again.
00:09:24.080 --> 00:09:31.120
I think that playfulness though comes from your ability to change your expectations on the spot in the moment.
00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:41.679
Yeah, because then I I I went from like, okay, this is not a boyfriend, this is just a really possibly interesting person, you know, um, a stranger that I get to meet, how awesome.
00:09:41.679 --> 00:09:50.720
And then I would just g launch into that part of it, which meant that I got a lot of second date offers because they were like, oh my god, she had such a great time with me.
00:09:50.720 --> 00:10:00.240
Like she was actually so many qu she was so animated, and it's like they didn't realize that I was animated because I like people and not because I liked them in a boyfriend way.
00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:01.519
I was the opposite.
00:10:01.519 --> 00:10:04.240
I always wanted the next date, and nobody wanted the next date.
00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:06.080
For me, yeah, it was painful.
00:10:06.080 --> 00:10:07.759
Everybody just wanted to be my friend.
00:10:08.159 --> 00:10:09.200
Uh well that's cool.
00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:11.600
I was friends, I was friend zoned my whole life.
00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:12.799
That's cool though.
00:10:12.799 --> 00:10:14.960
I was having friends is, you know.
00:10:15.519 --> 00:10:23.360
Did you have experience with my experience is that people would skip over wanting to date me and go straight to want to marry me?
00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:27.360
I've been proposed to more than I think I've been asked on dates.
00:10:27.360 --> 00:10:35.279
But it would always be for a man who saw me jump into a relationship with somebody else and then realized that they were in love with me the whole time.
00:10:35.279 --> 00:10:36.799
Oh my god.
00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:42.639
I didn't get proposals, but I did get a lot of like, you're the one that got away from dudes.
00:10:42.639 --> 00:10:46.879
And I'm like, in exactly what way did I get away?
00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:49.840
In fact, I feel like you pushed me away in many.
00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:53.200
In fact, I was there for a long time.
00:10:53.200 --> 00:10:59.759
I like was really sticking it out, and then I just then I left and there was no getting away or whatever.
00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:02.480
It was like, there was no escape car.
00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:03.440
Yeah.
00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:11.120
I want to talk to you, Nikkeen, about loneliness, about finding connection, about the joy of talking to strangers.
00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:11.600
Yeah.
00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:14.480
Because we feel like people are really lonely right now.
00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:14.960
Yeah.
00:11:14.960 --> 00:11:20.399
Really curious to know what you think of loneliness and what's kind of at the root of that.
00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:25.039
Yeah, I mean, it's interesting because, like, you know, I, you know, I I have a bit about this.
00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:30.879
The United Nations releases a report on the happiest countries in the world, and the United States has fallen out of the top 20.
00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:35.919
And the reason is because people under 30 bring down our numbers, they're less happy.
00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:45.519
And I think that is really attributable to like how they were raised with, you know, technology, um, because people under 30 day don't go out and they don't have sex.
00:11:45.519 --> 00:11:47.840
And now, this is like according to the data.
00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:48.240
Yeah.
00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:58.799
Um, and I think in, you know, um in in my day, like I literally I did have go out a ton, and I did have sex a ton, you know.
00:11:58.799 --> 00:12:10.240
And so I that made a difference in like j I think just m our generation's ability to kind of like go out and hang out, and like that was normalized for us.
00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:15.759
This one time, so I had this New Year's resolution to like talk to anyone every anywhere I could.
00:12:15.759 --> 00:12:26.559
And um, and I remember this one time I went to this Cinnamon cinnamon bun shop, um, not a Cinnabon, uh, but a Sunday morning thingies village.
00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:31.440
And I walk in and there was like someone in their 20s who was wearing headphones.
00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:35.279
And so I go, Wow, I wonder what flavor I should get.
00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:36.960
Which one are you getting?
00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:45.600
Trying to get through the noise, you know, and she was just like, huh, you know, and then like she takes off her headphones, which I was like, win number one.
00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:47.759
And she's like, I don't know.
00:12:47.759 --> 00:12:50.159
I was thinking of getting the classic because it's my first time.
00:12:50.159 --> 00:12:53.279
And I was like, oh my God, it's my first time too.
00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:54.799
I'm thinking about the classic.
00:12:54.799 --> 00:12:58.399
Maybe I'll get the a separate flavor from my husband and we'll split, you know.
00:12:58.399 --> 00:13:02.240
Then it just turned into a conversation about pastries.
00:13:02.240 --> 00:13:05.519
And I honestly feel like she had a hit of dopamine.
00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:07.759
I don't want to speak for this stranger, but I will.
00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:13.600
And like, I actually feel like everybody naturally wants more of this.
00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:17.919
I'm out here with naked ears all the time, slut ears.
00:13:17.919 --> 00:13:21.600
I'm basically asking for those lobes, damn.
00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:22.080
Right?
00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:22.480
Yeah.
00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:31.919
And I and and people are so, you know, uh in their in their isolated silos that they don't, they're not trying to talk to me.
00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:49.200
And I think it's is a little bit of uh these poor kids, especially the kids in their early 20s, they grew up right as COVID was happening, and like they just fell into themselves and now need permission to come out.
00:13:49.200 --> 00:13:50.080
To come out.
00:13:50.399 --> 00:13:51.519
It's also a bad habit.
00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:55.840
Like it's habitual for them to just put their like and they put it on and they never take them off.
00:13:55.840 --> 00:13:56.159
Yeah.
00:13:56.159 --> 00:13:57.759
You know, we all do those things.
00:13:57.759 --> 00:14:08.639
So if you get in the bad habit of always going to the self-checkout line at the grocery store and don't talk to anybody instead of once in a while going to the checkout where somebody check like rings you and you say, How is it?
00:14:08.879 --> 00:14:30.000
And then and that's an interesting, you know, The Atlantic wrote a piece recently that talked about the checkout line because the curious thing, and there's no real data on this, but like anecdotally, what they found was that people would choose to stand in line for the self-checkout rather than go into the shorter line where a human being was the cashier.
00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:42.960
And it's because of this phenomenon of like everybody has gone in and now they just like don't really like know how to like break out of themselves, even when it's more convenient and faster to do so.
00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:46.559
And I find that shocking because I'll always go to a human being.
00:14:46.559 --> 00:14:47.039
Yep.
00:14:47.039 --> 00:15:03.039
Even if it's not scintillating conversation, even if that person has no time, like just the idea that we're like engaging in something together for a brief moment, even in silence, I prefer that to like what I'm in communion with a machine.
00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:03.519
Yeah.
00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:11.600
So for folks who are a little bit hesitant about having that human interaction for whatever variety of reasons.
00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:11.919
Sure.
00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:12.960
Do you have hot tips?
00:15:12.960 --> 00:15:16.399
Do you have hot like pick friend pickup lines, stranger lines?
00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:17.279
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:29.360
That's that's that's that's interesting because I think like so during COVID is when I really learned about myself that like I need 12 to 36 interactions a day.
00:15:29.360 --> 00:15:33.440
That's like that I mainline like right through here.
00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:36.080
I just realized, like, oh my god, I'm gonna lose my mind.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:41.519
Like, I started going to this cafe that had, you know, outside seating.
00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:48.399
I would see these people that would go to the same coffee shop every day, and I would recognize their faces, and I'd be like, man, that person was here.
00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:52.960
You kind of have to go at the same time every day to like see who you're gonna see.
00:15:52.960 --> 00:16:00.720
And then I noticed a couple of them were chatting, and they would be like, Oh yeah, I'm catching up on Game of Thrones, blah, blah, blah.
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:07.360
And then one day, because I too have social anxiety, I too worry about rejection.
00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:10.000
I'm not a robot, you know what I mean?
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:12.720
I I also worry about those things, right?
00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:17.039
Even though I it seems like I'm good at it, I am not necessarily good at it.
00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:26.399
I just the only thing I do is just in that moment where social anxiety is gonna shut me down, I say no, and I overcome it.
00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:27.840
And that's the only difference, right?
00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:31.600
And so, and these people were like talking about Game of Thrones or whatever.
00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:35.360
And I was just like, I too have seen Game of Thrones.
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:38.320
And I just jumped in.
00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:39.600
Draconis.
00:16:39.600 --> 00:16:49.919
And then literally we're talking about whatever, and then I see them again, you know, a couple days later, and then I see them again.
00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:54.960
And it and it turns out a bunch of those people had been going to the coffee shop for years the same time.
00:16:54.960 --> 00:17:02.000
I I basically merged myself into a group of like 25 people that are regulars.
00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:03.279
Oh, nice.
00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:07.599
And now I have a place where like where everybody knows your name.
00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:14.240
Because I literally walk in and I'm like, there's like at least one or two out of the 25 people that I know that go here.
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:15.839
You have a community.
00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:16.240
Yeah.
00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:18.720
I'm really obsessed with community right now.
00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:18.960
Yeah.
00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:25.200
Because I feel and I feel like there's a million ways to find it, but it's so important to have it.
00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:30.799
And my good friend Keisha Zahler and I talk a lot about the importance of finding community.
00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:34.079
And so many of our experiences right now feel transactional.
00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:34.480
Yes.
00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:42.160
Where it's like, what's in it for me to show up at Xbox at the coffee shop, at the synagogue, at the church, whatever it is.
00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:49.359
Like, and it's like there's so much hidden joy in just people knowing your name.
00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:49.759
Yeah.
00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:51.039
No, completely.
00:17:51.039 --> 00:18:02.559
Again, going back to like pointers, there's so many, you know, tricks of the trade available in the like finding community world.
00:18:02.559 --> 00:18:05.680
Um, a lot of them are just free.
00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:13.039
It's free to volunteer, it's free to get like, and then you end up meeting people, and I can't tell you how great it is to gossip with neighbors.
00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:13.759
Yes.
00:18:13.759 --> 00:18:14.240
Right?
00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:17.680
That's all anyone wants is to just like what's the chat?
00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:19.119
You know what I mean?
00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:22.000
Like, let's talk about these cinnamon buns.
00:18:24.079 --> 00:18:24.960
Right here.
00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:26.240
Yeah, exactly.
00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:36.160
So I feel like that is something that people there's probably I I guarantee there's there's uh there's like a volunteer opportunity that will give you friends.
00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:44.240
I also think it's about putting yourself in uncomfortable places, like not just going to the same place where you know everybody and you know everything that's gonna happen.
00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:48.960
Like the joy of part of meeting people is not knowing what's gonna happen.
00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:51.519
And I think people are afraid of rejection.
00:18:51.519 --> 00:19:07.039
And having performed in nearly every state of the union and having met people uh all across the political spectrum in every age group, I find that people actually, their instinct is not to reject.
00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:07.599
Yeah.
00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:08.559
You know what I mean?
00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:09.039
Yes.
00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:09.759
I agree.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:15.440
Like I've experienced enough of humanity at this point that I I can fairly say that.
00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:16.400
You know what?
00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:18.799
I think this calls for a quick competti break.
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:22.960
We'll be right back with Nagin Farsad in a minute.
00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:35.119
You don't necessarily seek out people within your bubble, within your ideologies.
00:19:35.119 --> 00:19:39.440
You kind of have a knack or attraction to king.
00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:44.079
King of having to school.
00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:51.440
For finding people who aren't exactly like you and finding commonality.
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:51.839
Yeah.
00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:52.960
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:19:52.960 --> 00:20:10.000
I j again, I think it goes back to like, oh man, I bet you that man wearing ammo on his person with his dog in, you know, Murfreesboro, Tennessee has some stories.
00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:14.559
And I just, it's not even, I just feel like where are the stories?
00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:15.599
You know what I mean?
00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:20.000
Like, I want to chat with this person because I'm sure they've like, where do they live?
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:21.279
Who do they live with?
00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:23.039
Like, what's this dog about?
00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:24.000
Where'd they get it?
00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:24.640
Like, I don't know.
00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:25.920
Just that's curiosity.
00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:28.640
I j it's curiosity, and I'm just curious about it.
00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:29.279
Their stories.
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:30.079
I love that.
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:37.680
It's almost the opposite of what I think so many people are doing right now, which is like, I see man in Tennessee with whatever, but yeah.
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:40.000
And I have something to teach them.
00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:57.359
Like I'm gonna Yeah, and I think, you know, so so I made this movie The Muslims are coming, where I took a bunch of Muslim American comedians on the road, and uh we did shows and we called the shows The Muslims are coming, and we did a lot of like we would meet people um on the streets and uh we have you know film all these interactions, turn it into a movie, blah blah blah.
00:20:57.359 --> 00:21:02.559
And um I I said you know, you just make a movie the judge or something.
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:03.839
No big deal.
00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:04.720
Yep, yep, got it.
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:06.559
Just gonna lean over that.
00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:17.519
And then but I think what was interesting was this is where I feel like I adjusted that instinct, the teaching instincts.
00:21:17.519 --> 00:21:18.079
Uh-huh.
00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:22.559
Because people would say to me, What do you think of 9-11?
00:21:22.559 --> 00:21:33.680
And I think even at that time where Twitter was, where the internet was, everyone's instinct around a question like that, if you're a Muslim, is to be angry at that question.
00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:42.400
And I think the I like I kind of like this improv approach, which is like not to shut down the question, you know what I mean?
00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:46.160
And to instead be to try and like put myself in their shoes.
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:59.759
Like if I'm in, you know, Tupelo, Mississippi, which I think is where one of the places I got that question, um uh sh this person who do this this elderly woman who's asking me this question, and she wonders what I think of 9 11.
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:04.880
It's not awesome, but here's my chance to tell her.
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:12.720
And she might be shocked to know I too think it was revolting and horrible, right?
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:16.960
And so I just took look at those things as an opportunity.
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:27.279
I don't get mad because I if someone was to say something to me about Burmese cuisine, I'm gonna ask a dumb question because I don't know anything about Burmese cuisine.
00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:36.160
And that person could be mad about it, or they can just be like, I'm gonna teach her something about Burmese cuisine, I'm not gonna share, I'm gonna just see where her perspective is.
00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:37.359
And it'll be fun.
00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:39.599
It doesn't have to be a conflict.
00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:51.920
I know that you find yourself in moments where stakes could be raised, intention could get ugly or dangerous, and you have an ability to level things.
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:57.759
I I love this story and I'd love for you to tell it about the time you had protesters in the rain.
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:06.880
Yeah, so like I was I was going to Washington State to Centralia, Washington, and I arrived at the theater and there was like maybe 20, 25 people protesting me.
00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:10.960
Um, because I thought I was gonna turn everyone in uh into Muslims.
00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:16.480
And um and so I which I also think is um is fun.
00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:18.319
Um it's just like a fun expectation.
00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:18.720
Yeah.
00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:20.640
And I'm like, it didn't, it never works.
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:45.440
Um I so I arrive and and the, you know, and I and then the the pr everyone's like really embarrassed by this situation, and it starts to rain because we're in, you know, um northwestern, you know, Washington, and um and I go up to the protesters and I was just like, um, hey guys, first of all, I'm oddly honored that you're here because you spent money on poster board for me, like for me.
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:49.200
It's like it, it's it's it's an it hasn't happened.
00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:51.440
And um, but it's raining.
00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:54.240
So why don't you go inside and watch the show?
00:23:54.240 --> 00:24:01.039
You can sit in the back, and then when it's you know, and then when the show's over, you can run right back out and then keep protesting me.
00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:07.759
And they were like, uh, well, and like they thought about it and they were like, no, but maybe we'll sit in the lobby.
00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:10.400
And I was like, yeah, totally sit in the lobby.
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:13.119
It's silly for you guys to stay out here in the rain.
00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:19.279
And so they wait, you know, I did the show, they waited in the lobby, and then when the show was done, they came back out, they kept protesting, whatever.
00:24:19.279 --> 00:24:24.720
Um, and that was one of those situations the and the producers were like really embarrassed, really apologetic.
00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:27.920
And I was like, no, like this is amazing.
00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:37.119
Like these people have every right to protest me, and that's what's great about this country, and I have every right to perform, and that's what's great about this country.
00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:41.039
And so we're both just letting these First Amendment rights play out with dignity.
00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:45.359
I think it's disarming when you diffuse situations.
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:52.480
I think a powerful skill, and it doesn't require skill, it just requires not taking the bait.
00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:53.279
Yes.
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:59.039
I every time I've heard you tell that story, I get full-body children.
00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:00.640
Oh god, I'm glad.
00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:05.440
It just it's I think it we all have a lot to learn from that example.
00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:08.000
I want to go back to meeting strangers.
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:09.680
Do you have uh two questions?
00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:12.319
Do you have a favorite stranger you've met?
00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:16.240
And where's the best place to find them?
00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:18.559
Where are they hiding?
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:19.440
Where are the strangers?
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:22.400
Again, where are the strangers hiding?
00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:24.240
You know what's funny?
00:25:24.240 --> 00:25:38.559
Just recently I remember like um meeting this woman maybe a few weeks ago, because it w we both went to the same, like a different coffee shop than my normal, because I was getting it was like a pastry shop slash coffee shop.
00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:39.839
Don't worry about it, guys.
00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:50.799
And um, and the and this woman was sitting outside in like a patch of sun, you know, and it was a very cold day, and it just seemed like she was like having a lovely moment.
00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:59.839
And I was like, and I said something to her, like, oh, you're really like really taking in this like r mini patch of sun we're getting on this cool day.
00:25:59.839 --> 00:26:04.400
And she was just like, Oh, yeah, it's like I like to, you know, take a second when you can or whatever.
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:05.920
And I was like, dude, totally.
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:07.519
And then we chat, we chat, we chat.
00:26:07.519 --> 00:26:12.799
And then it gets into like her dating life, which is like my favorite topic of anything, you know?
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:20.799
And this woman is like in her 60s, and she talked about dating a man who then came out to her as non-binary and what that was like.
00:26:20.799 --> 00:26:26.079
And I was like, wow, this is fascinating because it's also like I don't hear that very much from that age group.
00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:36.160
Yeah, like someone who's like pushing 70 who has a dating story about then realizing that the person they're dating is non-binary and what do they do with that and how to now, you know.
00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:40.559
I also just think it's really fascinating how quickly people get deep.
00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:47.200
I mean, this was in the space of we I was waiting for some kind of sandwich.
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:48.160
Do you know what I mean?
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:50.480
And you got a full overshare sandwich.
00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:52.559
You got all the extra tapping.
00:26:52.559 --> 00:26:55.039
And she was, and it was so fun.
00:26:55.039 --> 00:27:08.240
And it also, I think the other thing about it was that it it did a it did something to me, which was man, I think people who are pushing 70 don't have as much fun as this woman is having, and I need to like readjust.
00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:15.680
You know, I like might go into some of these conversations thinking, ah, this person's older, they're not, you know, out there, but you know.
00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:19.680
And this woman just completely like shattered those expectations.
00:27:19.680 --> 00:27:22.240
And that's so great when that happens.
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:27.680
I love it when that happens, because then you're like, oh, I don't know everything about people.
00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:28.799
You know what I mean?
00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:30.640
People will surprise you at every turn.
00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:35.200
I thought I also think you have this crazy ability for people to overshare to you.
00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:44.480
Like I've just been sitting here and wanting to tell you my whole life story, so I don't know what energy that that is, but I also think that's a weird magnetic thing that you do.
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:45.119
Right.
00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:52.160
You know, but when you were younger, did you have somebody that showed you to how to do this, or did you just figure this out on your own?
00:27:52.400 --> 00:28:00.240
Um, you know what I kind of feel like is like everyone could benefit from drama class right story.
00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:02.079
I agree with that so hard.
00:28:02.079 --> 00:28:05.200
And I like it doesn't matter if you're in science or da-da-da.
00:28:05.200 --> 00:28:08.000
And because I think I was like a quiet kid.
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:18.799
And like I got I got into drama in high school and it was a brain opening, and it made me feel so much more comfortable with so many different types of people.
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:25.920
I think there's something about pretending not to be yourself that helps you be yourself even more.
00:28:26.240 --> 00:28:27.839
And that's the show everybody.
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:32.079
I say this I feel the same way about improv.
00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:32.799
Yes.
00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:34.720
I think everyone should take an improv class.
00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:36.160
I don't think what you want to do with it.
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:36.559
I agree.
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:38.160
It makes you a better person.
00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:39.039
And a budget class.
00:28:39.039 --> 00:28:41.279
I feel like we should have all taken a budget class in high school.
00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:43.359
And learned how to deal with the credit cards.
00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:45.920
We still need to take a budget class.
00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:49.440
Don't we all it's also a great place to make friends.
00:28:49.440 --> 00:28:50.000
Ooh.
00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:50.400
It is.
00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:51.920
And find people to hook up with.
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:56.559
Yes! Nikkeen, is there anything we didn't cover that you just want to say?
00:28:56.559 --> 00:28:58.880
No, I I I love all of this.
00:28:58.880 --> 00:28:59.680
This was great.
00:28:59.680 --> 00:29:00.240
Thank you.
00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:01.440
Can you plug anything?
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:02.079
Yeah.
00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:04.160
Um, well, you know what's interesting?
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:11.359
Right now, there's just two little things that I did recently that I want that I mentioned because I think it's maybe motivating us.
00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:23.839
We we're maybe at a time where we're like not thinking so highly of our country, but I do love America, and I I feel like my job my role my right now is to like remind people that there's still things to love.
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:44.400
And I gave a commencement address um a few months ago at uh Lawrence uh Technological University, and and I feel like it, I I try to make the case, you know, for the inspir it for the optimism we should still have about this country, of which I have so much and I'm happy to share.
00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:48.720
Like um if you're if your sources of optimism are dwindling.
00:29:48.720 --> 00:30:15.440
Um and I also, in the along the same vein, uh I'm host I hosted this TED Democracy series uh where they dispatched me to Philadelphia and we did this series called The Great Experiment, and um we learned about like, first of all, like how difficult democracy is to get off, you know, get on its feet, how long it's taking us to get the suffrage that we know and love today, at the levels that we have them today.
00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:24.079
Um different types, you know, we we talked to like um old school lesbian activists in Philadelphia who had a group called the Dyke Tactics who would stage kissins.
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:25.279
They're so good with their name.
00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:26.000
Right, so good.
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:26.960
So good with their nation.
00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:33.279
And just and so good with like the crazy wild art-filled um activism that they did.
00:30:33.279 --> 00:30:45.279
And it's just, I I think again, if like if you're having a hard time believing in America right now, um check out some of these things and maybe they'll help because I want you to like join me in believing again.
00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:46.480
Wow.
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:49.440
Jeez, well she said it all.
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:50.160
She said it.
00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:51.759
Thank you so much.
00:30:51.759 --> 00:30:53.440
God bless America.
00:30:53.599 --> 00:30:54.319
Oh thank you.
00:30:54.559 --> 00:30:55.359
God bless you.
00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:56.240
Yes.
00:30:57.519 --> 00:31:00.400
Thank you so much for making time for us today, Nigene.
00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:01.680
Thank you so much for having me.
00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:02.400
This was so fun.
00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:05.839
Now let's turn these cameras off so we can get into more dating.
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:07.279
Yeah, definitely.
00:31:11.759 --> 00:31:15.839
Before we go, we'd like to end this episode by spreading the joy.
00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:23.680
So we asked our guests to give a quick toast to someone, living or dead, who made their life brighter, lighter, and more joyful.
00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:32.319
I wanted to record a celebration of life moment for one of my best friends from high school, Leonard Della Cruz.
00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:36.559
He was one of the funniest guys you've ever met.
00:31:36.559 --> 00:31:43.680
He did voices, he did physicality, I'm making him sound like a clown, but it was all like at an elite level, hilarious.
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:53.200
And as my gay bestie, one of the great things about him was that he would just tell me directly and bluntly to my face if I looked like garbage.
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:56.559
And I feel like you really need someone like that in your life.
00:31:56.559 --> 00:32:00.720
So many people are careful about that kind of thing, not Leonard.
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:05.920
And for that, I miss him so much and I celebrate him deeply.
00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:12.319
Thank you so much for listening to Brain Glitter.
00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:16.880
If you know someone who would enjoy this episode, please hit that little share button and pass it along.
00:32:17.119 --> 00:32:23.920
To learn more about our guests, you can sign up for our newsletter at brainglitter.com and follow us on all the socials at Brain Glitter Pod.
00:32:23.920 --> 00:32:31.519
Brain Glitter is a production of Who Says Studios and Skip Offinsons, created and hosted by Sam Griffin and Bethany Hall.
00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:45.680
We are so grateful for our little glitter factory, including Keith Haskell, Jordana Jason, Claire Kenny, Jen Cambridge, Paul Viedelins, Emily Fuller, and the brilliant team at Manhattan Neighborhood Networks.
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:48.559
Our theme music was created by Cameron Myers.
00:32:48.720 --> 00:32:56.480
And special thanks to our husbands, parents, families, and friends, the unofficial and unpaid co-authors of everything we bring to the mic.
00:32:56.480 --> 00:32:58.960
We can't wait to welcome you back the next time you hit play.
00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.599
And remember, let curiosity pull you forward.
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:03.680
Enjoy find you wherever you are.
00:33:03.920 --> 00:33:05.519
I mean, this episode is over.
00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:06.319
This is over.
00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:09.759
Thank you so much for joining us, everybody, and we will see you next time.
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:11.119
Can't wait.
