Why Being Yourself is Your Greatest Competitive Advantage: Becoming uncommon w/ Magnolia Lafleur

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Is it really filming?
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Yeah.
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Hey, what's up everyone?
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This is Coach Richardson, and this is another episode of Becoming Uncommon, and I have my good friend, Magnolia.
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For those of you that don't know, Magnolia and I ran track together at Long Beach State and stayed connected ever since.
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And so for me, this is a good opportunity again just to kind of show the different avenues that life takes us.
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Sometimes, especially as former college student athletes, we think the world is going to be a certain way.
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We think our journey is going to be a certain way.
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One thing I've always been fortunate to have Magnolia as one of those kind of beacons of hope that you can still pursue your passions after you run and kind of use some of that.
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But outside of that, Magnolia, can you please introduce yourself?
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Hey everyone, I'm Magnolia Howell.
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I go by La Fleur as uh my sort of my pen name for art.
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I sort of wanted to separate track me from art me.
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Um but yeah, I ran track at Cal State Long Beach, Go Beach, and I was a journalism major.
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I've worked as a journalist for years, and I just recently got my master's in fine art at Laguna College of Art and Design.
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And now I'm here at Billis Williams with my feature show.
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Yeah.
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Um I'm gonna go back.
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So how did you get into track and field?
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Um so I've been running since fourth grade.
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I was a Bantam, uh USATF, you know, uh in Omaha, Nebraska.
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And um so yeah, I ran in high school, middle school, elementary, all that did the whole kind of circuit.
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And then I was state champion in Nebraska um in the one and the two, and then moved to California, went to Mount Sack, and then from Mount Sack went to Cal State Long Beach.
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Oh, you know what's so funny.
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I just casually erased that out of my mind.
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Oh, really?
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Yeah, did you?
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Wait, I'll I'll edit this, yeah, and it will we'll take Mount Sack out.
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But you went to Long Beach.
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No, I don't think you should.
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I will do that on the back end.
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We can do I can say it again.
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No, I'm I'm gonna keep all this in there.
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Okay, yeah, because I want my my competitive nature, you know, Cerritos versus Mount Sack to, you know, shine clear.
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Yeah.
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Okay, the other question is this, because we're fooling, right?
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Yeah, if we accidentally say scriggle diggles, it's not it's I'm gonna keep that in because um I want to see how the AI like captions scriggle diggles.
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Oh freak on throw AI off.
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Exactly.
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Yeah, I'm trying to throw it.
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Just kidding.
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I love AI.
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I love AI.
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So went to Long Beach State and what was your major?
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Uh print journalism.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Did you know what you wanted to do?
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Like, so you go into Long Beach Date, you're getting your major, you're trying to, because I know most athletes don't like think about it in the moment.
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Yeah.
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But we're aware that like there's gonna we have there's gonna be life, like we gotta do something later.
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Exactly.
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So what was your, you know, I guess mindset of like what your future was gonna be after track?
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Well, I always knew I wanted to be a writer.
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And originally it was like screenwriting and kind of, but then I was like, well, I remember going to the counselor and she was like, film classes at the same time as track practice.
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So she's like, um, what's your second thing?
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I was like, journalism, because I I can publish.
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And it's still similar akin to film in that you're writing stories about people.
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Um and I remember the counselor try to like talk me out of print journalism because she said, um, wait, time out.
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Should I even say this?
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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She tried to talk me out of print journalism because she said, uh, we don't have anyone in that department.
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So in the, you know, when you go to There was no blueprint of like an athlete doing it.
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Yeah, that and also I think, and I don't know if this happens, I think this happens in many schools, which is something athletes should look out for.
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You know, a university, you know, no matter which one you go to, it's it's a great thing also for them to have you.
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You are a part of what bolsters the greatness of that college, you know.
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And so in tandem with that, is they want to, they have professors that have also worked with the athletes in certain majors.
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So if you have to leave for a meet, if there's certain inconveniences, that major, there's like very particular majors that literally will kind of work in tandem with letting the athlete go on certain days.
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Whereas with print journalism, there hadn't really been a blueprint for that.
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And so if I have to leave on a certain day, I may not be able to get out, or I may get a low grade because I didn't show up that day.
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So basically it's all on you, you know?
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And I remember she was like, you should do communications.
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And I was like, No, I'm a writer.
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And um, this happened with several athletes at the time, actually, and many athletes changed their majors because of it.
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Yeah, it was a bad thing in some ways because what you said about having life after college, yeah, when you go in there, you're like, I got recruited, I'm on scholarship, let's go.
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And then oftentimes, you know, the school has, you have your agenda, the school has their agenda, you know?
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And sometimes they can run parallel, but sometimes they can also oppose each other.
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And I think where it opposes each other is that the school isn't always contemplating what an athlete is beyond an athlete.
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Yeah.
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And I think that can be troublesome in terms of when I was there, it was really pushing me to do a major without explaining what the life would be with the communications.
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It's just like you should just do it because we know people can do it.
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Check this box.
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Yeah.
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And it there was no kind of like, and once you do it, these are all the things you can do.
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It's just, I remember her saying to me, you're on a scholarship, right?
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I was like, Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And I'm like, yeah, I'm on a scholarship.
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And she's like, Well, toe the line.
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Yeah.
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And she's like, so if you can't, if you have to get out of class, if you have to do, she's like, and you get a grade bad, even include including grade, if you get a bad grade, if you do anything crazy, you can lose your scholarship.
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Because you have to keep a certain GPA, you know, in order to run.
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So I was like, yeah, that's fine.
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Okay, so I have to do my homework and then develop a strong relationship with my professors and basically communicate with them on a daily basis and really let them know in advance when I have meets and figure out when I can make up with those classes.
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Okay, so like your responsibility, and it's gonna be what the world actually is like, you know?
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Like you're managing, or even just life, you're managing two ideas at one time at a very high caliber.
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So to me, I'm like, yeah, that's fine.
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And she's like, Well, I'm just letting you know because you're on scholarship and you could lose it.
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And I was like, what's with this scary feeling?
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Like, like, what's gonna happen?
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What is this weird thing I'm being faced with?
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Of like, am I gonna be in the program and if I have to go to meet and I don't go to the class, I'm gonna get a failing grade, and then suddenly I get low GPA and they kick me out of the scholarship.
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So I kind of like I have like strong parents, and I'm saying that because to me it sort of helped a little bit having a little bit of like a that background that I was like, no, like my parents cared more about the schooling than they did the sport, you know?
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And so I think that's a good thing.
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I think that even though I'm like a track head, if you had to like forego one, like the future of your brain and your mindset and skill set in life is really important.
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And so an athlete should be able to maintain both.
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Yeah, because a true student athlete.
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Yeah, a true student athlete.
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You should be able to maintain both because that's the whole point of the scholarship to me, is that you are being told that you are of a very high caliber human.
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And a high caliber human on the track, even if you don't think you're good at the books, you actually are high caliber in this in the classroom.
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Because that means that you have the high aptitude to be able to perform, period.
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To perform, period, in anything at the highest level that most people are afraid of in terms of pain.
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So you can apply that to anything.
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So to me, when some people go, I'm not good at this, I'm not good in the classroom, you don't have to be particularly good at math.
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You have to be very good at discipline, commitment, and the high will and mindset to perform at a high level.
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Then you'll become good at math.
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I mean, because if you said someone you gotta be on the relay, you wouldn't go, I'm not good at it, you'd go, where do I meet you?
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What time?
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Like, well, let's go, you know.
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Presuming you have a coach, there's different types of coaches.
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So you have great coaches and you have coaches that could be even more limited in mind as it regards to what you are off the track, you know?
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So if you have a great, great coach, unlimited everywhere.
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Yeah.
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If your coach is, eh, then you're unlimited on the track, and that's all they care about, but then the rest is kind of like they don't see how that actually affects this part.
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Or they don't care.
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Yeah, or they don't care.
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And you're gonna like, and either one you get, as an athlete, you just deal with it.
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Yeah, and you just have to know it in yourself what you are.
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But like when you do get the one that's kind of, you know, skidiggle and kind of like just thinks of you as an athlete and as a running horse, and it's about stats and numbers, you know, it's up to you to sort of almost walk with a decl declaration of like exactly who you are.
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So you do great on the track, but you do your grades, you do your school, you do the arts, whatever it is you're doing, that you kind of don't allow, and this is like for anything, like anybody to who has a minimal view or a you know, a very containing view of you to sort of keep you inside of a space of this is all you kind of really are.
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Because I think I felt sometimes in the program that there was elements of that where you're a brown athlete, and all you guys are just like these great running horses, and that's awesome.
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You got a lot of and you're going like it's like brilliant people out here.
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Do you mean like Charles was great at like drawing, you know what I mean?
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Like there were so many athletes that had all these deep thoughts.
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Great musicians, yeah, too, yeah.
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Yeah, deep thoughts, yeah.
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That's right.
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There was um what was it?
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There was like two of them that used to play the guitar.
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Uh Gold uh Gold Alex.
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Alex, that's right.
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You know what I mean?
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Really good.
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I I think you know, you people say, Oh, I play the guitar, and you're like, Oh, okay, yeah, you just you know, ding ding ding ding.
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Right.
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No, he was like really like a pro.
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That's right.
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So you're gonna like that makes sense.
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High caliber functioning here, and then he was funny.
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It's like there's people like like Brent Gray, like funny.
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Yeah, do you know what I mean?
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Like funny people, and you're going like that, seems like not a skill trait, but as you get older, those are skill traits.
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It's like to be charming, to be funny, to be endearing, to not take yourself too seriously.
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Like the the fact that there was a lot of the guys, I felt like a lot of the guys were funny on the team.
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Like I thought you were funny.
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And you're going like when you're on a team, that stuff is looked at us like, oh, it's he's really fast and he's goofy.
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And you're going, no, he's really fast and he's developed a really great coping mechanism.
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Like he knows how to take the Mickey out of stuff.
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He knows how to be really intense here, but then not to let pain sour him.
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That's a great trait, you know?
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So it's more than just like, oh, he's a funny guy.
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You're going, no, that's a great trait, and you shouldn't let go of that because life is gonna get crazy.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Like life is gonna have craziness, and you're gonna need one of your um, one of your ammunitions needs to be humor to get through it.
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Otherwise, it's just gonna be, you know, you're gonna, it's gonna aid you, like spiritually, you know?
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So um, so yeah, I that was Long Beach, and uh it was great and there was stress about Long Beach for me.
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Um, but like uh I feel like whichever basket you're in, whether you love love it, whether you kind of love it, whether you don't love it, whatever it is, you use it.
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Like use that to kind of form you and make you stronger.
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Like there should never be an excuse to why you've decided why you're not gonna do something.
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Yeah.
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You know what I mean?
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Like, whether I like a coach or not, whether I like a system or not, I've already made a decision about what I'm gonna be.
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And I feel like it's the same thing when you're in track.
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Like, if someone talks mess to you right before a race, you're like, you should develop a system.
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And as an athlete, most of them do of like, now I'm running faster.
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Like now I'm now I was gonna kind of beat you.
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Now I'm really gonna beat you in a weird, crazy, like insane way.
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Like insane.
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I want you to quit.
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Yes, right.
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I want you to retire after this race.
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That is about like a weird, not like a self-knowing, but maybe um, like that's the constitution to me of an athlete.
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Like that's a that's your constitution.
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Like you, the moment a university, a school, junior college, anywhere tells you that they want you out there, you automatically know that you are in a very specific, in my opinion, type of elite group of humans on earth, and I say elite to mean you have a superior mindset about how you think of pain and how you your relationship with pain is.
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And in some ways, you've showed that you can take pain and turn it into something really amazing.
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You can turn it into a win.
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Whether you got fifth or fourth, the fact that you're first, you're on that line, and you're literally saying, I don't mind to be challenged in front of people, and I don't mind to win or to lose.
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And either one of those, you've each day sort of put yourself out there.
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So that's a superior to me mindset about life because life is can be so hard that if you don't have if you don't accept that constitution about yourself and that you're actually made of something like that, then if you get fifth, if you get sixth, if you're not always getting first, then what happens when you graduate in life?
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You're gonna go, well, I guess I should stop, you know, because you didn't get these things.
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It's like, no, you should have a constitution that like I'm gonna be the the best, I'm going to be the greatest, I am the greatest, and even if you're fifth, I'm the greatest.
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And I'm gonna and tomorrow I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna be the greatest again.
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And it should just be that mindset all the time.
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And not greatest, like you're better than someone as a human, but like you versus you.
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You're going, I am the greatest version of myself at every time.
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And then if you didn't do it that day, you go, This was the best I could do today, and tomorrow I'll do even better.
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And you just kind of like sync yourself with that mantra because life knocks you down so much that you have to kind of be on your side.
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Yeah.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Yeah, and if you sort of overshoot it without error without being arrogant, life knocks you down so much that I feel like you'll hit in the middle.
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So yeah, you'll still be right.
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You'll you'll you kind of want to hit because it's like if you go with nothing of just like, man, I guess I kind of suck, or I guess I was the last in the pack today.
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Oh man, she's so much better.
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You're gonna be like, no, no, the the world's already gonna, that's already exists around you.
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Like, I did the best day at practice, man, it was a tough day.
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I felt challenged, but like I got that frustrating day out of the way.
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So that's good because I needed those.
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You're gonna have to have those.
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It's a guarantee you have to have those.
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You go, awesome, I got rid of that.
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Great, so tomorrow's gonna be great.
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And if tomorrow's not great, then you go, got rid of another one of those bad days.
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Like you just have to sort of like re-angle it every time.
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Well, you have to understand, yeah, the odds, right?
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The odds of having consecutive bad days is low.
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Right.
00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:33.679
You know, even beyond that is even lower.
00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:35.120
So yeah, there's something to look forward to.
00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:35.679
That's right.
00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:38.159
Because you you're right, you're you're you're kind of getting it out of the way.
00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:40.320
And like life is just gonna be like that.
00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:48.000
You uh you graduate, you have all these work and like ambitions, family ambitions, husband, wife, children.
00:14:48.320 --> 00:14:56.480
And in order to survive emotionally and spiritually, and to pass that resilience on to your kid, you kind of have to start now.
00:14:57.039 --> 00:15:12.320
Like, I don't like I've met people that like who think like uh you become a parent when you yeah, yeah, when you get there, or you become like a good spouse or good husband or wife, and I'm going like, that's that's starts, you're you're becoming a good husband, in my opinion, like your whole life.
00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:18.080
And especially once you get into college, you're becoming a good wife, it starts, and now you know what I mean.
00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:21.840
Like there is no like, uh you think you're gonna flip a switch.
00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:22.320
No, no.
00:15:22.399 --> 00:15:22.879
No, no, no.
00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:30.639
Well, I tell athletes that like a lot of the community college kids, they think that it's like, oh, once I get the scholarship, then it's I'm I'm gonna my work ethic's gonna be different.
00:15:30.799 --> 00:15:34.240
It's like, no, you will you will default to your norm.
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:34.799
That's right.
00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:36.799
And so you gotta overshoot like crazy.
00:15:37.039 --> 00:15:52.960
Because if anything, once you get into that higher caliber position, it's so challenging to be to be the best in that situation, to be the most honest, to be the most caring, to be the most efficient, that if you weren't already going in with that energy, you for sure will be lower.
00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:53.840
The stress is higher.
00:15:53.919 --> 00:15:55.120
Yeah, what do you think is gonna happen?
00:15:55.200 --> 00:16:03.200
Yeah, you will become even a lower version of yourself because it will be so challenging that you might even go, you might give in to it and fold and go, forget it.
00:16:03.279 --> 00:16:06.960
I'd rather not even look like I'm trying to maintain this too much of that.
00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:10.320
Yeah, maintain a kind of aura of being what interesting.
00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:13.039
And then it's like you're not really that interesting.
00:16:13.120 --> 00:16:13.279
Yeah.
00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:23.440
You just kind of uh you're just like walking around with your chin up, and you're and it's like a temple temporal arrogance that doesn't survive the long run.
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.360
It's like it's really short-term thinking.
00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:36.559
It's kind of like being on teams, and I saw this when I went pro, I read for Trinidad, and I saw this where you got different caliber athletes, and everybody's so cool.
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:37.360
Do you know what I mean?
00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:38.960
Like everybody's just so cool.
00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:42.159
It's like being cool is good, you know?
00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:45.840
But like I love what you said, being cool is good.
00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:46.960
I'm gonna make it too much.
00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:47.440
Do you know what I mean?
00:16:47.519 --> 00:17:06.640
Like being cool is good, but then you're going like, but it's gotta be like it's gotta be managed with like like around that circle of like dense coolness has to be like a a layer of like humility, like a thin shell of humility that wraps you being cool.
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:19.920
So that when you're facing the world, it's with like an openness, a benevolence, a gratitude that that is in recognition that this may not always be that way.
00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:32.000
So like to be cool in that way where you're just like cool, it's like you're not you might be the best right now, but life is a long game.
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:41.519
And humility, while being really cool, is a much better um sustainable and healthy mindset for the world.
00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:47.039
But you you know when you say that, because I think about the perception of cool, like that's what it is.
00:17:47.119 --> 00:17:50.799
It's like you're trying to portray a perception all the while.
00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:59.759
Like, I think everyone in the world would agree that like the grit, the hard work, like all this stuff that it has essence isn't very cool.
00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:01.839
No, but I think everybody knows that.
00:18:02.079 --> 00:18:10.960
I agree, but it's like, but so for somehow there's so much validity in like the perception of cool, right?
00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:18.720
And in this kind of a grease lightning Danny Zuko walking around like hey, pop colored, and you're going like, but have you done the work?
00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:19.839
Yeah, you know what I mean?
00:18:19.920 --> 00:18:25.279
Like, like you said, like the the parts that kind of aren't cool are sometimes like sometimes it is coming in sixth place.
00:18:25.519 --> 00:18:27.680
And you're going like, you should think you're cool still.
00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:31.359
Like, shouldn't go up and down with that.
00:18:31.519 --> 00:18:33.039
And I think it's the same thing out of life.
00:18:33.119 --> 00:18:39.839
Like, I've met people like like like my dad used to say, you know, people think a janitor is just a janitor.
00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:44.400
He goes, the janitor has the keys to every room in the building.
00:18:44.559 --> 00:18:49.039
He goes, the janitor knows all the paperwork of everybody and everything that's happening in the company.
00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:51.279
I was like, dang, that's a lot of power.
00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:58.000
And so he was just saying, like, never essentially, first of all, never minimize anyone any in any way.
00:18:58.240 --> 00:19:03.759
But like, if you were thinking from a strategic mindset, everybody has usefulness.
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:17.599
Everybody has more power than you could possibly think in terms of I feel like that cool Danny Zuko thing is asserting that you are the most important and asserting that no one else has something great to offer you.
00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:26.880
And it's like everybody around you has a miss, has like something, something you're missing, every human has like a cool ingredient that makes you more whole.
00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:28.079
I mean, except for bad people.
00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:33.359
Like obviously they I mean, but then they kind of have an ingredient because they're being bad, yeah, can make you kind of go, okay, I don't want to be that.
00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:33.759
Yeah.
00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:37.920
But like, to me, that whole cool thing when you're in college, it's that.
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:42.640
It's thinking that there's like you're playing with the hierarchy stuff, and you're gonna like, just get on the track and run.
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:44.079
Yeah, just do the work.
00:19:44.319 --> 00:19:47.359
You don't need to be like you're cooler or you're more interesting than someone else.
00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:54.160
What makes you cooler and more interesting is you go to class, you listen to your coach, you do the assignment, and you deliver.
00:19:54.319 --> 00:19:57.279
And if you don't deliver that day, you do the best you can to deliver the next day.
00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:04.720
And every day of your practice is like attempting to give the best of yourself, not just on the track, but how you are in relation to people.
00:20:05.039 --> 00:20:12.160
Because I felt like at Long Beach, that was one thing I felt that I liked, I guess, about some of the athletes' interactions.
00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:15.200
Like some of the athlete interactions I felt like, like Brent.
00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:17.039
Brent was always nice.
00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:18.960
Yeah, he was the fastest.
00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:20.079
Yeah, you know.
00:20:20.319 --> 00:20:24.480
Um, you were the best hept athlete, and you were always nice, but also you were really smart.
00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:30.640
And so there were some people that broke the mold to me of this, no, I'm not just this like great hept athlete.
00:20:30.880 --> 00:20:35.200
Even some of the throwers, throwers, like just uh Ezra, you know?
00:20:35.359 --> 00:20:45.119
Yeah, there were people biology majors, and you're going like there's people that were really high performing, but then behind closed doors weren't parting it up like that.
00:20:45.759 --> 00:20:51.200
And Charles, like they were drawing in their books and working on animation and working on their skills, but you don't know.
00:20:51.359 --> 00:20:56.319
Yeah, you know, so it's like you want to be being cool is what you said.
00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:18.799
Being cool is like getting in the work, um, having confidence with a huge slice of humility on the side, you know, and never being if you're a person that's always getting first, never letting that go to your head because that same person next to you the next day could beat you, the next month you could be hurt, you could be hurt, or even in life.
00:21:18.880 --> 00:21:20.880
You could graduate and you were the fastest person in that school.
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:21.759
Do you know what I mean?
00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:28.799
And like five years later, the person that barely made that team is the CEO of a company that you're trying to work with.
00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:36.000
And I feel like athletes sometimes, and I think other sports too and other events, even in art world, kind of no, it happens in the art world.
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:41.039
You get very limited terms thinking about like you are this thing right now, that's it.
00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:45.920
And you're going like, no, that person's like, some people are like crazy unlimited in their mindset, you know.
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:51.920
So, like, I I really take away from that is persona, regardless of your circumstance.
00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:59.759
Yes, yes, and just being, yeah, like that level, and going more specifically to you, you've always been a very eclectic.
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:02.480
Deep thinking, authentic person.
00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:03.200
Oh, that's nice.
00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:07.039
I I loved when you were because you had an intensity to you.
00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:07.279
Yeah.
00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:10.079
And I remember like there were times where I saw the fire come out.
00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:10.480
That's true.
00:22:10.559 --> 00:22:10.799
That's true.
00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:11.759
Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:12.400
Yeah.
00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:17.680
But you know, people don't think that because I'm so like, hey, everybody.
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:21.200
But I'm sometimes no, you're times where you were fired up.
00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:29.680
Like you came in with this, like uh just like a I don't know, like a little little twinge of crazy.
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:30.240
That's right.
00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:30.480
Yeah.
00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:30.880
That's right.
00:22:31.039 --> 00:22:31.680
Yeah, you're a wild car.
00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:32.640
Yeah, that's right.
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:33.200
You're a wild car.
00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:33.920
I agree with that.
00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:39.279
Yeah, but I love when I got a chance to know you through just like on the track.
00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:42.319
And then we would cross paths and then we would sit longer.
00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:47.839
And I think our relationship really grew even more so like towards the end of our college careers.
00:22:48.079 --> 00:22:48.480
I agree, yeah.
00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:56.000
And I kind of look back and I'm like, dang, I should have taken advantage of the bus rides and some of those opportunities to really connect a little bit deeper.
00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:57.039
You feel the same way.
00:22:57.200 --> 00:22:57.359
Yeah.
00:22:57.519 --> 00:23:01.279
But it I think but you're so like in the rigmarole of the whole thing.
00:23:01.519 --> 00:23:04.559
Yeah, we're like, you're rushing the art class and I Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:11.839
You're kind of in the mix of everything that I feel like it's hard for you to even no one like tells you how human everybody is.
00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:12.559
I don't know.
00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:14.079
I mean that in a do you know what I mean?
00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:23.200
Sort of like I don't mean that in a weird way, but like No, there's because that's one thing I'm I've even learned just in this last few years of my life.
00:23:23.359 --> 00:23:25.440
Like there's so much more depth to people.
00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:32.400
Yeah, and that people are like really like you think sometimes I think you just think you're alone in whatever you're sort of dealing with.
00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:32.960
You know what I mean?
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:33.119
Yeah.
00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:34.079
Whether it's good or bad.
00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:35.839
You're just like, man, I'm the only one.
00:23:35.920 --> 00:23:41.440
Like everyone's like, I'm like, even if you're not lonely, there's an element of lonesomeness about just being an individual.
00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:41.759
Yeah.
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:43.279
But you share it with everybody.
00:23:43.359 --> 00:23:46.240
But sometimes you just think you're the only one that had that circumstance.
00:23:46.319 --> 00:24:01.119
And you're gonna like, so I feel like maybe there's you're connecting with people because you're going to events, you're going to parties, you're going to these things, but you're going, you know, that's why I think sometimes if you can, especially when you go to college, if there's something I would do different or underline more.
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:05.759
Like I had moments of silence with people where we would talk, but I'm like, I think I would engage in that even more.
00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:06.160
Yeah.
00:24:06.319 --> 00:24:26.000
You know, and I do believe that while it's good to be like open, there should be when you know who you are, or even if you're discovering who you are, whatever you come from, whether it's two parenthomes, one parent home, foster care, no matter what it is, there's been like centuries of generations of bloodlines that are supporting you.
00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:33.599
Even if there's something bad right near you, there's been so many great things that have come through the line to make you this like human.
00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:39.200
And so not everybody's on the same emotional and spiritual journey.
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:54.400
And you can meet someone who's not intending to throw you off on something, but like it's really important that you at least sort of I say honor your bloodline, but kind of like it's like there's this thing of like, I've met people that go, yeah, but my parents were kind of bad.
00:24:54.480 --> 00:25:04.160
And you're going like, yeah, but then there's your grandparents and your great grandparents, and there's like the whole like universe of like power that has come before you in your great.
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:09.759
So you need to protect your spiritual, emotional, mental space.
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:19.759
And it might be having some zero tolerance for you or being nice to people, say good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and then that's a wrap.
00:25:19.920 --> 00:25:26.799
Because especially as you get older, I think, and my daddy used to say, like, beware of the company you keep, you know?
00:25:27.039 --> 00:25:42.799
And I remember he used to have us like we grew up with a lot of mantras and sayings, and daddy uh and mom used to before we go to bed, and even before we go to school every day, he'd say, bad company is worse than uh, and we have to go, thief, worse than a killer, worse than uh, and you'd have to list up all these things.
00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:43.759
And he goes, Why?
00:25:43.920 --> 00:25:45.519
Because I'll get you to do it.
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:49.680
And then I remember my sister and I'd go on our room and go, how could bad company be worse than a killer?
00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:51.039
A killer will kill you.
00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:59.759
But now that I'm older, I'm like, oh, because you're not inherently just gonna be born and be like, come out with a knife and go kill somebody, you know, you're not a chucky.
00:25:59.839 --> 00:26:01.279
You're gonna like, it's company.
00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:06.880
It's the company you keep, it's the company you keep, and the company you keep meaning what you look at social media, that's company.
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:08.960
What you're reading, what you're watching.
00:26:09.279 --> 00:26:22.720
So I grew up in a strict household, and I I do believe that I can be graciously externally kind, but I do believe that, in my opinion, that keeping your circles small is important.
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:43.680
Like your family, and then maybe very succinct people that sync with your morals, with your sense of even what you want to be, what you are looking to be, versus, you know, you can be very nice to somebody and not allow them, in my opinion, front door access to something that could possibly derail you in the long run, even if they look really fun.
00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:51.039
Because I've there was plenty of people that I thought, oh man, they're fun, they're exciting, they're cool, but I knew like it's like water to a rock.
00:26:51.279 --> 00:27:02.160
If I spend time with this person, just like your show, if you watch certain things on TV that you think don't affect you, like everything, everything you say and do is a byproduct of everything that you've surrounded yourself with.
00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:16.480
So then if you want to run a really good race, but you're hanging out with someone that the night before was hanging out late, maybe they're cool to hang out at lunch at school, but maybe you shouldn't be hanging outside of track beyond those hours with that person.
00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:17.279
You know what I mean?
00:27:17.519 --> 00:27:19.680
So it's like um, I feel like it's like a fridge.
00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:21.519
Some people have their expiration dates.
00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:27.920
And you just kind of go, you're just supposed to be the person that I sit and do my pre-training with because you're great at pre-trainings.
00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:31.200
And this other person, you're like a lifer, you have no expiration date.
00:27:31.359 --> 00:27:33.279
This other person, you're good for college.
00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:39.200
And then after college, you may not have an interest to further yourself in certain ways.
00:27:39.359 --> 00:27:51.759
And it's not to say you shouldn't have we all have weaknesses, so like you your friends are gonna have weaknesses, but there's some things, in my opinion, that should be Yeah, you know, I don't know, what do you think?
00:27:51.920 --> 00:27:58.799
Do you think it's better to sort of be super open, or do you what do you think about how that concept or how to do it?
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:00.160
You're asking the wrong person.
00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:04.079
I'm uh what you would call a serial introvert.
00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:04.559
Yeah.
00:28:04.799 --> 00:28:09.680
So if any opportunity you give me to not engage, I will do that.
00:28:10.160 --> 00:28:10.559
That's awesome.
00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:10.799
Yeah.
00:28:11.359 --> 00:28:12.000
That's awesome.
00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:28.559
No, but I think I I I even take it further because I what I'm thinking about as well is like especially what you elaborated with is like the grander picture of your social your social community and everything, is being like having the intuition.
00:28:28.799 --> 00:28:29.359
Right.
00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:33.279
Like I think not not a lot of people trust their gut enough.
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:33.680
Right.
00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:38.079
I don't I think there's a kind of a lost art in respecting intuition.
00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:38.799
I agree.
00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:39.359
I agree.
00:28:39.440 --> 00:28:51.359
I think that that's by limiting your social media and television and and I say this as someone who's a journalist, like I like have a love-hate relationship with the journalism universe.
00:28:51.440 --> 00:29:03.119
And I think like when I I do art events sometimes, like like like paint parties, and I will tell people, all right everyone, like have a good day, turn your TVs off, talk to your neighbor, you know, like enjoy each other.
00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:10.160
Everything they in high school, I remember I was like you, where it's like I I was really extra I'm like extroverted at home.
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:17.920
Like at home with my family and friends, I'm scradiggle, like you know, but in public, I'm like, ey, like I don't think so.
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:18.559
I don't think so.
00:29:18.720 --> 00:29:20.319
And so I'm more like an owl.
00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:28.720
But then in high school, I remember I wanted to run for class president, and I was like, and the always the funny guy or the loud guy, and I was like, why can't I be what I am at home publicly?
00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:30.960
I was like, I don't know how to like reconcile that.
00:29:31.039 --> 00:29:38.480
And so I I ran for class president just to do a speech to try to get over the feeling of what you're saying.
00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:42.160
Like it's like you're almost it's like challenging yourself, which is what track sort of that is.
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:44.559
You're gonna like you're you constantly should be sharpening yourself.
00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:50.400
You're gonna like, all right, so I would like to be a leader in some ways, but then I don't really know how to bring what I am at home out.
00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:54.480
So then I ran, I re I read like a really long boring speech, and I didn't get it.
00:29:55.200 --> 00:30:05.759
And oh I know, yeah, but like it was good because I remember being nervous and I didn't win, and then that was good not winning, to be honest, because I shouldn't have won because I didn't give yeah it was like a boring speech.
00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:16.319
After working all like that at that time period during the pandemic as a full-time journalist, it was like there was really great things about it because you're going, I'm a purveyor of truth and information, so that's wonderful.
00:30:16.400 --> 00:30:33.119
And also it's a privileged position to be in, to be in a position where you are trusted to give people information that does not have a left or right side, but just information so that someone, a mom or a dad, or an old person or a young person can make a decision based off of that.
00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:37.759
And I believe in journalism in what I would call the old-fashioned way, meaning completely objective.
00:30:37.839 --> 00:30:42.799
It doesn't matter if the perspectives are left, liberal, right, conservative, it doesn't matter what it is.
00:30:43.039 --> 00:30:45.519
Your job is to not be any of those things as a writer.
00:30:45.599 --> 00:30:53.359
Your job is to just go, look, I saw this divot here and it was yellow and it made this thing, and then someone can decide I don't like that, or I do.
00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:56.400
And so I'm old, what I call old school.
00:30:57.680 --> 00:30:59.039
It's history you're writing.
00:30:59.119 --> 00:30:59.920
Like, this is history.
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:05.279
It's history because it doesn't even matter if I write something and gets five reads today.
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:16.319
The magnitude and powerful effect that that piece will have in the future of recording who someone is and what someone is is is mostly going to be impactful as a thing looked back upon.
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:30.960
And so it's kind of like we were talking about earlier about like you don't want to live so much for the now that you're not taking into account, like you want to be present, but you want to take into account that there's another version of you that you hope will thank you for the things that you did a certain way.
00:31:31.119 --> 00:31:35.039
And so then I was like, I had been doing art while I was running track.
00:31:35.119 --> 00:31:41.279
I'm mentioning the segue, but basically all like since 2012, I was painting a lot and doing drawings.
00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:45.039
And so I had been, I did some of the local galleries when I lived in LA.
00:31:45.279 --> 00:32:04.799
And so while I was doing the dualism thing, I thought, let me refine another storytelling passageway so that I'm not just really great at writing and not great, but just really good at writing, a good writer or a a not even good writer, a writer that always aims, like track, to be good, you know.
00:32:05.119 --> 00:32:22.000
So I thought, what's a more benevolent way of discussing how I get through things, or an optimistic way of looking at the world, or discussing news or information without it polarizing people the way words do nowadays.
00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:33.839
And then on the other side of that, as even just being an athlete or even just a worker, you've been like, if someone gives you a good critique, you sort of want to develop a hairy chest metaphorically for that.
00:32:33.920 --> 00:32:34.400
Do you know what I mean?
00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:36.799
And go, okay, let me hear that.
00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:48.960
Because I I don't want to be confined to the pleasantries of life only, and a utopic mindset to where if someone says Magnolia, that's not it, that you go, oh, well, I'm triggered now.
00:32:49.039 --> 00:32:53.279
You know, you want to be able to go, okay, I need to be better about that, and I want to change.
00:32:53.359 --> 00:32:57.359
So I think, like, let me refine my work, let me get much better at this.
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:01.839
I'd never done figures before, I'd never done realism on that level.
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:17.519
And so I applied to um El Cad Laguna College of Art and Design and the chair of the program, Peter Zakoski, who I like like a rata, like I love him, like a like a person on earth that you're gonna like, not only was he a great artist, but like but super filled with depth.
00:33:17.599 --> 00:33:18.079
You know what I mean?
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:20.880
So those are the people too that you think that were just they're like, hey, how's it going?
00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:22.880
Like, that guy's so how's it going?
00:33:23.119 --> 00:33:27.440
Because he's like, he's dealing with like a well of like thought, you know what I mean?
00:33:27.599 --> 00:33:35.200
And that his the deepness of what he comprehends the world almost makes him give the most kind external, like, I know how tough it is.
00:33:35.359 --> 00:33:37.839
That's Peter, just an amazing chair of the program.
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:43.039
And I was allowed in and I'd never used oil before, I had never done figures before.
00:33:43.279 --> 00:33:45.359
I was like, oh, track.
00:33:45.839 --> 00:33:47.519
This is track, like, let's go.
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:55.759
It's like you go into other fields and there's not that same offering that track gives you, which it is like a really great blessing what track gives you, like this constant sharpening, constant challenge.
00:33:55.839 --> 00:33:58.400
Like, even and especially if you're not winning all the time.
00:33:58.720 --> 00:34:00.880
It's like people think it sucks to not win all the time.
00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:05.039
No, that's like like winning all the time's great, but you also need to be sharpened.
00:34:05.279 --> 00:34:06.960
Like you getting through this practice was a meat.
00:34:07.039 --> 00:34:09.599
And if you it's kind of what we're saying about like becoming the good parent.
00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:14.880
Like you're gonna like, I just become the great mom or the good wife or the good father or the good husband now.
00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:18.800
You're gonna like, no, like that meat was that repeat to day.
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:20.079
That was a meat that day.
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:27.119
And if you decided to um slack off on it, that's the same, that was a meat day, you know.
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:28.880
Um, if you didn't do so well, that's fine.
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:29.679
That was a meat day.
00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:35.280
You didn't do so well that meet day, but then you you did well in that you worked did as best as you can and you learned from it.
00:34:35.519 --> 00:34:40.079
And so for me, I approached the art exactly the way I approached track.
00:34:40.239 --> 00:34:42.000
I was like, this is exact this is exactly like this.
00:34:42.079 --> 00:34:47.360
So I'm going to do exactly how I did training, which is I go every day, I work really hard.
00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:53.840
Um my frustrations will never overwhelm me to the point where like I'm gonna get in the way of like progress, you know?
00:34:54.079 --> 00:35:06.960
And so I just was overly obsessed with it in the way that like I think track kind of requires not track, in order to to perfect something, it requires a little bit of uh obsession, you know.
00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:09.280
Um hopefully people strike a good balance.
00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:23.199
I think sometimes I struck a good balance, sometimes it wasn't, in terms of like when it's in nature to sort of be high perfecting, the obsessiveness can sometimes be good and sometimes it's like it's not good because sometimes you can think you didn't do something great and you did.
00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:26.079
And that's where you know what I mean, the obsessiveness is not good.
00:35:26.239 --> 00:35:35.519
Because you'll go, uh like this girl from high school came out to visit me when I was in uh after college, and she was like, How's it going?
00:35:35.679 --> 00:35:37.519
Mike, no, I haven't seen you for a long time, da-da-da.
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:42.079
And I was like, Good, just trying to get that time down, you know, trying to get that time on.
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:43.440
She was weird.
00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:46.880
She used to say that in high school at the time, and I was like, Weird.
00:35:47.119 --> 00:35:47.760
I did?
00:35:48.159 --> 00:35:50.880
She's like, Yeah, you were obsessed with the time.
00:35:51.039 --> 00:35:52.079
That made me feel weird.
00:35:52.159 --> 00:35:53.760
I was like, dang, really?
00:35:54.079 --> 00:35:54.880
And I was like, oh.
00:35:55.039 --> 00:36:00.800
She's like, yeah, and then it made me feel weird because in high school I was state champion in Nebraska and I did I did all right.
00:36:00.960 --> 00:36:03.119
But then I ran like what, 12-2?
00:36:03.519 --> 00:36:05.519
And it was like, yeah, but it's not 11-8.
00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:08.719
Like it's not like it wasn't like what the girls were running in California.
00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:13.039
So it was never good enough, even though I was the fastest in the state two years in a row.
00:36:13.119 --> 00:36:15.519
And the last year I didn't lose one race in either of those things.
00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:19.199
But it was like, yeah, but you're not that time.
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:33.760
And it's like, and so I'm saying that because the obsessiveness is sometimes good, but the to me, the dark side of it is that you're going like you're not having enough sense of gratitude and um for where you're at, for what you've done, and for taking that just as that.
00:36:33.840 --> 00:36:40.559
Like you don't want to constantly be self-improvement to the point where you're never just going, like, that was cool.
00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:42.000
Yeah, or give yourself grace.
00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:42.800
Yeah, yeah.
00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:44.400
And just go, that was a good moment.
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:53.119
It's like not every moment needs to be like dun da da da, you know, like that moment you just got done practice today, that's dun-da-da-da.
00:36:53.360 --> 00:36:53.920
Like, that's great.
00:36:54.079 --> 00:36:57.360
Like you were, you did the best to be nice to people, that was accomplished, cool.
00:36:57.519 --> 00:36:59.840
You didn't yell at anybody, maybe you're having a bad day.
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:02.400
Like, sometimes the bar, it's not even that the bar's low.
00:37:02.480 --> 00:37:10.000
Sometimes the bar needs to just be that like you were, you did the best you can, and each day you do the best you can.
00:37:10.559 --> 00:37:16.159
And with that comes like a type of civility and openness towards other humans in yourself, like you're saying, like a grace.
00:37:16.239 --> 00:37:18.079
Like you gave yourself grace and great mother's grace.
00:37:18.159 --> 00:37:27.039
So, like that program, like Peter, I just I I uplift him because he was like, uh, I view it in the again like a track world.
00:37:27.119 --> 00:37:34.960
Like he was like, to me, a coach that I will always uphold as like a high, massive high influence in my life now as an artist.
00:37:35.119 --> 00:37:42.800
Um, but I put him in line with like coaches, like I think Bobby Kirsey, I think Coach Rada, I think of like my four high school coaches that were amazing.
00:37:43.039 --> 00:37:53.679
Um and so I graduated in May, and then after when you graduate, like I feel like the thing they don't tell you is like in art school, like people kind of like track.
00:37:53.920 --> 00:37:58.159
People paint all the time, like they run, and don't realize that you have to work another side of it.
00:37:58.559 --> 00:38:06.880
Like, it's not enough just to do I want to say the fun part, because track was fun, but not, and that's painful, but the pain becomes fun, you know?
00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:09.119
You're gonna like you have to do more than the track thing.
00:38:09.199 --> 00:38:13.199
You have to kind of like like when you graduated, you're like, getting my master's over here.
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:15.360
I'm gonna work at this school, I'm gonna do this thing, and this, this thing.
00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:20.079
You're gonna like that has to be with the thing to even make this thing meaningful, you know?
00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:25.440
It's like now you're coaching, Soridos impacting generations of humans.
00:38:25.599 --> 00:38:30.239
You're going, that mindset, that thingy, should run parallel to this thingy.
00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:33.840
And with art, I've felt the same way.
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:37.920
So everything I've sort of approached this art world with has been with the track.
00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:42.239
So when I graduated, I've been Peter told me, whatever you do, don't stop painting.
00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:44.960
Because when people graduate, you're going, well, I'm not getting paid to paint.
00:38:45.039 --> 00:38:45.199
Yeah.
00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:46.000
And I don't have time.
00:38:46.079 --> 00:38:48.880
And it feels like you're messing around, but in the same way the track can feel like you're messing around.
00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:49.519
Yes.
00:38:49.760 --> 00:38:51.039
Usually you're like, I'm running.
00:38:51.119 --> 00:38:52.400
Like, but that's with life.
00:38:52.559 --> 00:38:54.880
Working out feels like you're messing around when you're serious about life.
00:38:55.039 --> 00:38:57.760
When you're in the journey, it is like that is the process.
00:38:58.000 --> 00:38:58.239
Yeah.
00:38:58.400 --> 00:39:04.239
And when you're being like have bills in life to do, taking time to work out can feel like you're not being serious.
00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:08.719
Every day you get through a training and you like nail it.
00:39:09.679 --> 00:39:13.280
I remember like feeling sometimes like like a little kid, like, what?
00:39:13.599 --> 00:39:14.159
Like, you know what I mean?
00:39:14.239 --> 00:39:17.199
Coach calls the time you go, oh, we can ran that.
00:39:17.360 --> 00:39:19.599
And you've done it since like third, second grade.
00:39:19.679 --> 00:39:20.400
You've been doing it your whole life.
00:39:20.559 --> 00:39:25.679
You're going like, isn't that kind of life like you should sort of like take those like moments and those wins?
00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:30.559
You you got through practice and you you go out of the blocks good, and you're going, oh my God, what am I doing?
00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:32.800
Well, I just get out of the I just got out of the blocks amazing.
00:39:33.119 --> 00:39:33.360
You know?
00:39:33.440 --> 00:39:34.480
And you're going, that's right.
00:39:34.559 --> 00:39:44.559
You should sort of quietly celebrate that and um not develop any kind of arrogance, but you should celebrate like these moments because life is like you go to the meet next week and then you lose.
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:49.840
Do you mean like I'm saying like it has this like weird thing that you're going that you're going like, so what are you gonna do?
00:39:49.920 --> 00:39:53.119
You just go, nothing matters until you win at that one meet, you know what I mean?
00:39:53.199 --> 00:39:56.320
So that win that you had at the practice, you're going, that win will come through somewhere else.
00:39:56.400 --> 00:39:57.679
Don't worry, like it'll come through.
00:39:57.760 --> 00:40:04.480
It didn't come through at that hundred that week, but that start that you did is the is a masterpiece in the making.
00:40:04.639 --> 00:40:13.039
And that thing that you didn't win for five meets on the sixth meet, you're gonna PR and then go, and then you're gonna wish you hadn't sort of overly harsh judged.
00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:13.360
Yeah.
00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:15.519
Oh no, that's yeah, that's for sure.
00:40:15.760 --> 00:40:16.239
You know what I mean?
00:40:16.320 --> 00:40:16.800
The trail.
00:40:16.960 --> 00:40:22.880
And it's funny because no one remembers your failures really, like we do sometimes as like trying to perfect things.
00:40:23.039 --> 00:40:26.800
Like we remember probably our worst moments more than anybody in the world.
00:40:26.880 --> 00:40:27.039
Yeah.
00:40:27.360 --> 00:40:31.039
But people do like, you know, understand and respect our highlights.
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:31.679
I think so.
00:40:31.760 --> 00:40:34.320
And I think people are more apt to want to celebrate you than you think.
00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:34.559
Yeah.
00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:41.679
Because I feel like even at races, I remember, I remember at one Olympic trials in Trinidad, it was the 400.
00:40:41.920 --> 00:40:43.119
And it was like, it's weird.
00:40:43.199 --> 00:40:46.159
In Trinidad, you can like hear, hear them very well over the speakers.
00:40:46.320 --> 00:40:48.559
Because you hear bum bum bad um bum and steel drums.
00:40:48.880 --> 00:40:51.679
But then you hear them, they're like, Magnolia, look how she's running.
00:40:51.760 --> 00:40:54.719
They have all this exposition, like all these like extra things they're saying, you know.
00:40:54.800 --> 00:40:58.559
It's not as like, you know, it's Caribbean, so they're just giving a little extra stuff.
00:40:58.639 --> 00:41:02.480
So I remember I got out of the box and they go, look at Magnolia like a batter of hell.
00:41:02.639 --> 00:41:03.280
And I'm like hearing them.
00:41:03.360 --> 00:41:04.880
Oh my god, hell, funny.
00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:06.960
Like, focus, focus, you know what I mean?
00:41:07.039 --> 00:41:31.920
Like, but it's just like you could, I remember hearing, and then I remember coming around the bend, and I went from second within, and you know how 400 is within this little, I went from second to third to fourth to like within within like meaning my system went like it, it it like stiffened up in a weird way where you're going, like, don't try actually, relax now.
00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:32.960
Yeah, you know what I mean?
00:41:33.039 --> 00:41:37.280
So, but like as an athlete, sometimes you can fall into the no press.
00:41:37.519 --> 00:41:38.719
Yes, you gotta press.
00:41:38.880 --> 00:41:49.920
And it's like the thing every coach tells you to do, which I wasn't abiding by, which is like, don't press, breathe more, relax more, like literally go, like, like, like, I don't know, think of a cartoon.
00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:52.000
Just literally don't panic, you know?
00:41:52.239 --> 00:41:54.480
And I was going, because I was second, I could feel them.
00:41:54.559 --> 00:41:57.519
I was like, like, get to the line, get to the line.
00:41:57.840 --> 00:42:01.679
And I could hear the people in the stands going, like, what you doing?
00:42:01.840 --> 00:42:03.039
Why are you slowing down?
00:42:05.039 --> 00:42:07.119
And I'm thinking, I'm not trying to.
00:42:07.599 --> 00:42:10.000
And then someone's like, just go, you're right there.
00:42:10.079 --> 00:42:11.840
Why you slowing down, Magnolia?
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:15.599
It's like questions, like, oh, well, let me explain what's happening to my system.
00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:21.599
And I'm saying that because, like, I remember after the race, I was like, Oh, I looked awful.
00:42:21.679 --> 00:42:23.840
People think the worst, they think, what a loser.
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:25.519
You know, like you're just thinking all these worst things.
00:42:25.599 --> 00:42:29.440
And meanwhile, afterwards, people were like, Magnolia, that was a good run.
00:42:29.679 --> 00:42:34.239
I mean, there were people going like, you were close, you know, and then I mean you're gonna get that, but that's fine.
00:42:34.320 --> 00:42:38.960
You're going, for the most part, people are like, the fact that you're even out there is like a thing.
00:42:39.039 --> 00:42:39.840
And you don't even know that.
00:42:39.920 --> 00:42:42.639
You're going like, no, but they don't really know how track is though.
00:42:42.800 --> 00:42:47.119
They don't realize that you think that someone doesn't realize the thing that they realize they realize.
00:42:47.199 --> 00:42:49.920
And it's like, no, like they're seeing it right.
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:51.199
Like, you're not seeing it right.
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:51.679
Like, yeah.
00:42:51.920 --> 00:42:53.039
In 2012, same thing.
00:42:53.119 --> 00:42:56.079
I went to Olympic trials, and I got fourth.
00:42:56.320 --> 00:42:57.840
And I remember my dad came with me.
00:42:58.079 --> 00:43:05.440
My dad, since you know, is like not so much here anymore, but like he came and I remember, and he's from Trinidad, and he was so proud.
00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:08.320
You know, like I we just went back to Trinidad uh two weeks ago.
00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:08.800
Oh, wow.
00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:11.760
And saw where he grew up, and we've been there before, but like he's from St.
00:43:11.840 --> 00:43:12.320
Augustine.
00:43:12.400 --> 00:43:14.320
We went to like the market where his father was a butcher.
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:15.840
We went to all these places.
00:43:16.159 --> 00:43:20.239
And I was like, I looked at my brother and I said, dude, daddy's so cool.
00:43:20.400 --> 00:43:21.599
Daddy's so freaking cool.
00:43:21.679 --> 00:43:24.719
He came here and he walked around here and was like, I know something.
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:25.119
You don't know.
00:43:25.280 --> 00:43:25.920
Like, you know what I mean?
00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:29.280
Like, I know I'm gonna, like, I'm gonna just never give up.
00:43:29.679 --> 00:43:35.840
Like that mindset of just like coming from any place that is challenging, small, different, you're gonna like, I don't know what's gonna happen.
00:43:35.920 --> 00:43:37.280
I just know I'm never giving up.
00:43:37.519 --> 00:43:38.480
And that was my dad.
00:43:38.639 --> 00:43:48.239
And so, like, my mom's like that too, but my dad is like a weird Caribbean kind of athletic violence behind that thought in terms of you're like, no, no, I'm it's never gonna happen.
00:43:48.400 --> 00:43:50.719
Death first, like a death first mentality.
00:43:50.960 --> 00:44:08.320
Which I feel like a lot of us, a lot of athletes in some ways, sort of there is this like over my dead body kind of mentality in a good way, in that like you're Going, my soul has been giving me a feeling of a purpose, and I must do everything and die trying in a healthy way.
00:44:08.480 --> 00:44:11.760
But like, I'm not gonna just go, never mind.
00:44:11.920 --> 00:44:12.239
Yeah.
00:44:12.480 --> 00:44:17.840
I don't really think no one's looking at me, no one likes my art, no one's buying anything, no one knows me.
00:44:17.920 --> 00:44:20.320
Like, I didn't know anybody before I made the Trinidad team.
00:44:20.559 --> 00:44:21.679
Two years training.
00:44:21.920 --> 00:44:25.119
It would have been really easy to go, you're not the fastest one out here.
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:26.880
Like, you weren't even the fastest one at Wambich.
00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:27.280
You were fourth.
00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:28.159
You're always getting fourth.
00:44:28.400 --> 00:44:30.880
Like, you're not the fastest in the state right now.
00:44:31.039 --> 00:44:33.519
And also, who do you know from Trinidad besides my dad?
00:44:33.760 --> 00:44:36.880
Like, I was like writing emails, writing emails, writing emails.
00:44:37.039 --> 00:44:37.599
Two years.
00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:40.159
Like, writing emails, like, hi, how are you?
00:44:40.320 --> 00:44:49.920
And then going to practice and training with no money, even though I had journalism job offers, and then like going like, I can't even think about that.
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:52.079
I got the offer, oh my gosh, you see how much it's getting paid.
00:44:52.239 --> 00:44:53.679
You're going like two roads.
00:44:53.840 --> 00:44:57.039
I could do that, and then like I see the ascension of that career.
00:44:57.920 --> 00:45:00.880
Or I really feel like I'm supposed to run, you know?
00:45:01.039 --> 00:45:04.320
And so I'm saying all that because that's a whole backstory of all this thing, this crest.
00:45:04.480 --> 00:45:16.079
And like, then 2012, Olympic trials, I don't make the team in Trinidad, and I'm like devastated, like, Oedipus gouging my eyes out, you know, like life is over.
00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:19.119
And my dad goes, You're looking at this all wrong.
00:45:19.360 --> 00:45:22.159
And I was like, No, you don't, you don't get it.
00:45:22.239 --> 00:45:24.719
Imagine someone's older, you know, you don't get it.
00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:26.880
He's like, dude, like live through everything.
00:45:27.119 --> 00:45:30.400
And he was like, now, he's like, you run for my country.
00:45:30.559 --> 00:45:31.920
He's like, Do you know how hard it is?
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:33.360
Like, he's like, you know how many little kids want?
00:45:33.519 --> 00:45:36.400
He's like, you know, he's like he's like, he's like, you you represent the family.
00:45:36.800 --> 00:45:42.719
And he was like, the fact that you even like did this and that you were even here, he was just like so proud.
00:45:43.039 --> 00:45:47.199
And it took me maybe two years after that to go, oh, okay, I get it, you know?
00:45:47.360 --> 00:45:51.760
Because at the time I was like, he doesn't get about time, even though daddy ran track.
00:45:51.840 --> 00:45:54.639
Like he ran, he went to Chapman, he's still in the Hall of Fame there, you know.
00:45:54.800 --> 00:45:56.079
So I'm going, he doesn't get something.
00:45:56.159 --> 00:46:01.360
It's like same thing, I'm sure if I have a kid god willing, they'll be being like, she doesn't get this about this race.
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:03.679
You're like, dude, I yeah, I totally get it.
00:46:03.840 --> 00:46:06.159
What like I'm an athlete, like I get the feeling of this.
00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:13.920
And so he was just shaking his head because I was like, oh, just like constant, just like, and he was just like, all right, like you'll be fine.
00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:16.559
Like this is great, I'm happy, like I'm proud, you should be too.
00:46:16.639 --> 00:46:22.639
And so I feel like that took me like a year and a half, maybe, like I said, maybe two years to go.
00:46:22.800 --> 00:46:24.480
I get that now what he's saying.
00:46:24.639 --> 00:46:38.480
Like, you're because now when I'm retired, and I feel like it's funny because people are like, I'm an Olympian, I'm a this, or I'm the greatest artist, and you're going like most humans are just really excited to celebrate people that are just making an effort.
00:46:38.639 --> 00:46:38.800
Yeah.
00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:42.960
And then if they're able to produce something from that effort, that's like that's it.
00:46:43.360 --> 00:46:44.000
That's it.
00:46:44.239 --> 00:46:58.639
Like, and you're going, there's something about that that's really great, and that this constant strive to to be beyond the best of yourself, which is like not only the best of myself, but I want everybody else to think up and they're going, no, no, just try to be the best of yourself.
00:46:58.880 --> 00:47:04.000
And um whatever else comes from that, yeah, sort of comes from that.
00:47:04.159 --> 00:47:10.800
But like just work to manifest the highest level of yourself, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically.
00:47:10.960 --> 00:47:25.280
Even like, so I sort of have a massive appreciation and belief that like at all these steps along the way, all these people that are involved in your um in your becoming is like you take all of them with you.
00:47:25.440 --> 00:47:31.360
Yeah and that they and that everyone is a part of that, so that like otherwise it means nothing.
00:47:31.599 --> 00:47:32.559
Like it means nothing.
00:47:32.719 --> 00:47:43.199
So Tresa for me has been like no matter where I go in life, whatever happens, she will be, she's in, she's now in my hall of fame with coaches, you know?
00:47:43.280 --> 00:47:43.440
Yeah.
00:47:43.599 --> 00:47:50.559
Because this opportunity at Billis Williams, um, and not just opportunity, because there's like it could have been, I've had galleries which also just business.
00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:54.800
She actually like, she's like funny, she has a soul.
00:47:55.039 --> 00:47:58.320
Not that no one has a soul, but I'm saying like she's like alive still.
00:47:58.400 --> 00:47:58.559
Yeah.
00:47:58.719 --> 00:47:59.199
You know what I mean?
00:47:59.280 --> 00:48:03.199
Like she's not on autopilot, she's not doing what many adults tend to do.
00:48:03.760 --> 00:48:18.559
No, I have like, like, if you have even just one person that gets you, and if you don't have one person that gets you, because I do think even if you get yourself, sometimes it helps to have external factors that understand you.
00:48:18.800 --> 00:48:28.800
If you don't have a human that gets you in any level, then I tell people, well, go to the arts because there's a song that's gonna reflect another human that totally gets you.
00:48:29.199 --> 00:48:31.599
That sounds like sort of lame because you're gonna be like, yeah, but I'm lonely.
00:48:31.679 --> 00:48:33.440
And you're gonna like, it's for a little bit.
00:48:33.519 --> 00:48:34.639
Yeah, it won't always be like that.
00:48:34.880 --> 00:48:37.519
But like use this as a bridge until you get that.
00:48:37.760 --> 00:48:46.559
Yeah, there's movies and music, and there's countless of other humans from the dawn of man that have experienced that same feeling of like, I'm alone in this world.
00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:47.280
You know what I mean?
00:48:47.360 --> 00:48:58.559
Like, I think sometimes to like 16th century or 15th century, or when we were in Trinidad, I thought, do you know how many people like you you drive by people and you see people sort of sitting eating a mango, or just someone in their own space?
00:48:58.639 --> 00:49:05.280
And you're going, imagine being in a space like that, from a small town, and maybe you have big dreams, and no one gets you.
00:49:05.440 --> 00:49:10.159
You're like, that person thinks he's the only person, it's the first time it's ever happened.
00:49:10.239 --> 00:49:13.360
You're gonna like, no, everything, nothing is new under the sun.
00:49:13.840 --> 00:49:21.920
You are um, you are not alone in your weirdness, you are not alone in your uniqueness or in your sort of being elostracized.
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:22.559
It's like you're not.
00:49:22.639 --> 00:49:24.480
You're just a part of a group you haven't really found yet.
00:49:24.559 --> 00:49:24.719
Yeah.
00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:29.679
You know, you're just a part of a, and even if you find the group, they're not gonna understand every avenue.
00:49:29.760 --> 00:49:30.320
You don't need that.
00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:38.719
It's like I said, if you know someone just fully comprehends one morsel of you and they go, I totally get that one side of you, I think that's like huge to me.
00:49:38.800 --> 00:49:40.320
Because I'm going, everyone's so complex.
00:49:40.719 --> 00:49:52.480
To me, if you're if someone's ever feeling like ostracized or they don't fit in, or they're kind of this, it's like if you're an artist and an athlete or you're an athlete and a this, completely be that.
00:49:52.719 --> 00:49:59.760
Because most likely, the people that didn't understand you or didn't think you were interesting, or didn't think you were whatever the thing is, life is long.
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.039
They're eventually gonna come back to it and go, oh, well, I didn't really know what I was talking about.
00:50:05.199 --> 00:50:05.440
Yeah.
00:50:05.599 --> 00:50:09.920
And you this whole time are thinking this person knows what they're talking about and they don't.
00:50:10.079 --> 00:50:17.679
So it's like you don't want to give up any morsels of yourself for the potential of someone else who doesn't actually comprehend even themselves.
00:50:17.840 --> 00:50:26.719
And so I feel like in having that understanding of that and have had that for like a long time, I'm going, no, I'll let you think that.
00:50:27.199 --> 00:50:38.960
And in some ways, you can take an uh as a coping mechanism, instead of being a victim, you can take a uh confident kind of like, I'll allow it perspective.
00:50:39.119 --> 00:50:41.039
So someone's like, oh, she's weak.
00:50:41.119 --> 00:50:43.760
And you're going, cute, I'll allow it.
00:50:44.000 --> 00:50:45.119
I'm not even gonna fight that.
00:50:45.199 --> 00:50:47.519
Yeah, I no no no complain, no explain.
00:50:47.679 --> 00:50:50.960
I'll allow this behavior to exist about me.
00:50:51.119 --> 00:50:53.119
And then you just quietly say, I know who I am.
00:50:53.920 --> 00:50:56.239
And uh life is a ticking clock.
00:50:56.320 --> 00:50:57.519
You're gonna be like, it's fine.
00:50:57.679 --> 00:51:01.840
This is gonna roll out, and this isn't gonna age well on your or for you.
00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:02.480
Yes, for you.
00:51:02.559 --> 00:51:02.719
Yeah.
00:51:02.960 --> 00:51:04.079
Self-delusion.
00:51:04.639 --> 00:51:10.639
And so that's like, I would say, even like my series is called like the nature of dot dot dot.
00:51:11.039 --> 00:51:15.039
And the idea was to talk about like everything has a nature to it.
00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:28.800
And essentially, because my parents used to say this growing up, like we grew up with a lot of proverbs and sayings and Aesops Fables, you know, those books and everything, and like, and even the poetry and music, like they're communicating in a benevolent way a truth to you about something.
00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:30.159
That's what all that type of stuff is.
00:51:30.239 --> 00:51:33.360
It's like, this is the truth, but here's not a harsh way of telling you.
00:51:33.679 --> 00:51:36.639
And the nature of this to say that everything has a nature to it.
00:51:36.719 --> 00:51:40.079
And my dad used to say, everything has a trick to it, there's a nature to everything.
00:51:40.239 --> 00:51:42.079
All you have to do is figure out what that thing is.
00:51:42.320 --> 00:51:44.480
So we're like, oh, so everything has a nature to it.
00:51:44.559 --> 00:51:56.079
And when we live in a world where there's more social media access, there's more like it's good that things are open, but you don't want things to be open to this point where it goes nihilistic to a full circle where nothing exists.
00:51:56.239 --> 00:51:56.800
Do you know what I mean?
00:51:56.880 --> 00:51:59.440
Like everything is so everything that it's nothing again, you know.
00:51:59.519 --> 00:52:06.159
And you're like, oh no, everything is everything, and then there's also still this, you know, like like this half open, half structure.
00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:14.239
And to me, the nature of is to say that everything has a nature to it, and there's some things that it doesn't matter that's gonna go past our time.
00:52:14.480 --> 00:52:24.800
It doesn't matter if I agree with it or you agree with it, or we go like like this is a wall, and it doesn't matter if you go, oh, I don't really see it like that.
00:52:24.960 --> 00:52:29.519
You've been like, well, you can write a poem about some other concept, and the fact is this is this.
00:52:29.599 --> 00:52:48.320
And so the piece, each piece that I've been like working on the last couple years, has been a benevolent way of saying, let's talk about these common things that we do know that are cemented about, like, and athletes need those because in order to run a really good race, you're saying affirmations to yourself.
00:52:48.559 --> 00:52:51.280
And the affirmations can feel like they're not true, but for the most part they are.
00:52:51.360 --> 00:52:55.199
You just have a hard time believing it because you're like scared and you have fear, and there's all those like other things.
00:52:55.280 --> 00:52:58.800
But like when you go, I'm the best, I'm I'm gonna run fast.
00:52:58.880 --> 00:53:02.320
I believe in myself, like man, I'm strong today, I'm the strongest I've ever been.
00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:05.920
Like it feels like you're just saying these things, but it's it's all true.
00:53:06.159 --> 00:53:09.119
You are the best, not better than other people, but you are the best.
00:53:09.199 --> 00:53:11.360
You're here, you're alive, you're healthy.
00:53:11.599 --> 00:53:19.760
This these are the affirmations that having Ren Track Pro, and even for my family background, that we grew up saying and thinking to in order to survive.
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:39.599
And that sometimes whether you have money or not, or the opportunity has presented itself to you, or everybody's watching your thing or not, or you have a whole network or not, the one thing you have are these like these truthful things that sort of keep you grounded, in my opinion.
00:53:39.760 --> 00:53:44.079
Like, like your love for something is truth, you know what I mean?
00:53:44.159 --> 00:53:52.239
Your love or I don't know, like one of the paintings in there, which is um uh the kids with the fire eating the ice cream.
00:53:52.400 --> 00:54:00.079
It's uh it's like it says burn the screen, take the ice cream, you know, it's like from The Godfire where he says um uh take the gun, leave the cannoli.
00:54:00.400 --> 00:54:04.480
And the idea was like burn the screens, let's indulge in the ice cream.
00:54:04.639 --> 00:54:15.679
Like there's a truth about innoc the importance of innocence, and that while screens are great and I like watching stuff too, it is a truth that you should protect your innocence.
00:54:15.840 --> 00:54:22.639
And no matter how old you get, that is one of the most important things that you could do about yourself and not to overexpose yourself to bad environments, to bad people.
00:54:22.800 --> 00:54:28.159
And if you are in a bad environment, then you do the best you can to like protect it's it's the mind, it's your heart.
00:54:28.239 --> 00:54:37.599
It's it's literally you closing your eyes then and saying I don't wanna, or even looking someone saying a bunch of weird stuff, like a track.
00:54:37.679 --> 00:54:40.079
You then sort of, nope, I believe in this.
00:54:40.239 --> 00:54:42.800
Someone's like, You're nothing, I'm I'm great, I'm everything.
00:54:43.039 --> 00:54:47.119
There's a whole line of people behind me that efforted life for me to exist.
00:54:47.280 --> 00:55:40.400
So I feel like um the affirmations of like affirming that you're here for a reason, and as much as you want to be open about the world and like there being a lot of truth and different types of perspectives, you want to be open for that, but then also be open that we all have a shared, we have some shared truths, and that that some of these truths, and maybe I could paint the affirmations that I grew up with and the things that I've told myself or that I do tell myself every day when something happens, like if you feel uncomfortable or if you feel strange, you go, there's like certain things that have to run through your system all the time through your mind in order to get you through things, you know, uh to not give up, you know, and so there's there's an ingredient and manual to how to get through things, even though I think when you're young, they they've been telling, they tell people like no, you can just do this, you can just do whatever you want, and later on that thing won't happen.
00:55:40.480 --> 00:55:44.719
You're like, no, there's like there's like a manual to the human soul.
00:55:44.800 --> 00:56:00.639
Yeah, there's like a way that if you do certain things, like what you we were saying earlier about like you don't become a mom now or husband now, wife now, if you do certain things now, even if you're living in the present, if you don't take into account future you, like you might look back and go, dang it.
00:56:00.960 --> 00:56:11.599
And so it's like that's to me means that you have to just keep saying affirmations to go, I know you don't have this now, I know you don't have all the money in the world, and I know you don't have this opportunity, but keep painting.
00:56:11.840 --> 00:56:14.880
Or I know you're not number one athlete right now, but keep training today.
00:56:14.960 --> 00:56:17.840
I know you've gotten last, the last five races, doesn't matter.
00:56:18.000 --> 00:56:20.960
Keep training, keep this moment in college.
00:56:22.880 --> 00:56:32.079
It doesn't seem like it's gonna have a huge ripple effect later, but I feel like like even at Long Beach, I feel like all that stuff had ma massive ripple effects for later, you know?
00:56:32.480 --> 00:56:40.320
Um and high school does too, but I really do believe like like high school is kind of like what like your first society.
00:56:40.960 --> 00:56:47.199
College is like like high school's like a rehearsal of like this is what world is.
00:56:47.440 --> 00:56:47.599
Yeah.
00:56:47.840 --> 00:56:51.840
College is like in a like in a safe, in a closed, predetermined environment.
00:56:52.159 --> 00:56:52.639
Yes, you're right.
00:56:52.719 --> 00:56:57.599
And so high school you're going like, because to me the real world feels like a big, especially not social media, it feels like a big high school.
00:56:57.840 --> 00:57:00.960
Where someone's like now, social media is like an auditorium where someone's like, you suck.
00:57:01.119 --> 00:57:02.159
And you're like, wait, who said that?
00:57:02.400 --> 00:57:02.800
You know what I mean?
00:57:02.960 --> 00:57:04.480
In terms of anyone can just say things, you know.
00:57:04.639 --> 00:57:06.159
That's why I always tell people, don't get triggered.
00:57:06.239 --> 00:57:08.079
It's like, it's like we're in an auditorium now.
00:57:08.320 --> 00:57:10.320
Like anyone could just be like, hey, your shoes are ugly.
00:57:10.400 --> 00:57:11.280
And you're like, wait, what?
00:57:11.360 --> 00:57:12.480
And you're like, it's an auditorium.
00:57:12.559 --> 00:57:13.519
That's what happens in auditoriums.
00:57:13.679 --> 00:57:17.039
Like people are gonna say mean things, whether it's true or not.
00:57:17.280 --> 00:57:24.079
But you like your community matters, your family matters, coaches matter.
00:57:24.159 --> 00:57:33.440
If you meet good elders and good leaders, if you have good coaches, like I feel like the times in my life where I've had good coaches, I'm like, like, man, like Tressa, I feel like, okay, what does she say?
00:57:33.519 --> 00:57:34.480
How does she think about stuff?
00:57:34.639 --> 00:57:40.000
Like, I'm like almost you kind of fall into a student role of like a kid again, where you're like, okay, cool, thank you so much.
00:57:40.239 --> 00:57:41.360
Anything else I need to say or think?
00:57:41.679 --> 00:57:43.280
Some of them are thrown off because I'm older doing that.
00:57:43.360 --> 00:57:44.559
Because I'm like, okay, yes, thank you.
00:57:44.639 --> 00:57:47.039
But I'm going, like, yeah, like you're a great leader.
00:57:47.119 --> 00:57:47.679
That's cool.
00:57:47.840 --> 00:57:49.840
Like, there's something I can learn from you.
00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:57.039
And so, yeah, I feel like the moment you get in college, you should be, you're like, we're live.
00:57:57.519 --> 00:57:58.800
It's like it's we're live now.
00:57:58.880 --> 00:58:01.519
It's you're it's it's you're it's not past rehearsal.
00:58:01.679 --> 00:58:02.239
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:02.320 --> 00:58:03.840
You're not in rehearsal the way you think you are.
00:58:04.000 --> 00:58:11.360
Because like the things in high school kind of affect you in later life, but like the college people are still alive when you're an adult.
00:58:12.079 --> 00:58:19.039
Like, like, we're still like that that's the world of people that you are going to be inside of the situation with.
00:58:19.360 --> 00:58:39.119
Not that you're not with high school, but then like Because I think uh in high school you're kind of it's like almost a predetermined identity a little bit, and then you get to actually build your identity in college, and then while you're building your identity, you're actually connecting, and those people are helping put bricks in and lay some foundation of your identity.
00:58:39.440 --> 00:58:53.679
That's exactly right, and and there shouldn't be a nonchalance about that in terms of going like, well, I haven't made it as this, or I haven't like, because I feel like even in these younger generations, there's been a pressing for like you have to be the thing at the end now.
00:58:53.920 --> 00:58:55.679
And you're going, what, you want to be 50 now?
00:58:55.920 --> 00:58:59.840
You want to be the thing that maybe you get when you're like 50, and it's like, no, but I want it now.
00:58:59.920 --> 00:59:02.719
And you're going like, what if you're not equipped to handle it now?
00:59:03.199 --> 00:59:04.639
Like, you know what I mean?
00:59:04.719 --> 00:59:09.519
Like, whatever I don't have and whatever I do have now, I'm grateful for because even the things that I'm wanting.
00:59:09.599 --> 00:59:30.800
Like, I was just talking to my friend Kendall about this, as like in Rome, that like I want certain things to happen at certain paces, but then I'm going, like, I know there's a reason why it's happening at the pace, and I just have to like be a little kid about it and accept work as hard as you can and stop being so like it's like God gives you one part, and you're like, Yeah, but I need to do this part with it.
00:59:30.880 --> 00:59:31.119
Yeah, yeah.
00:59:31.199 --> 00:59:31.679
Do you know what I mean?
00:59:31.760 --> 00:59:33.679
He's like, you Yeah, I got you.
00:59:33.920 --> 00:59:34.639
Right, easy.
00:59:34.800 --> 00:59:37.119
Like, you got that you could have not even had that part.
00:59:37.360 --> 00:59:41.760
And you're like, I know, but I would prefer if you gave me the whole thing at one time.
00:59:41.840 --> 00:59:49.360
And you're going like, the fact that you have a platform, the fact that you have this, I want you to stay inside the little smallness of just working hard at that.
00:59:49.760 --> 00:59:54.960
It's like going to practice, first year of college, and going, like, well, I want to be pro.
00:59:55.599 --> 00:59:56.000
Cool.
00:59:56.239 --> 00:59:57.039
You know, you know that.
00:59:57.119 --> 00:59:57.440
Yeah.
00:59:57.599 --> 01:00:02.880
But get to practice today and focus on training and learn to be a good pupil.
01:00:03.360 --> 01:00:11.760
Like, learn to be a good student so that anyone who's a good elder, and even the bad ones, that you can be imparted what to do and what not to do.
01:00:11.920 --> 01:00:12.639
You know what I mean?
01:00:12.800 --> 01:00:23.679
Otherwise, it's like you're you're you're losing valuable, like, energetic possibilities of history that these people are bringing to you.
01:00:23.760 --> 01:00:27.599
You know, like all the history that runs through people that get older, you're gonna like, that's useful.
01:00:27.760 --> 01:00:28.960
Including if they're weirdos.
01:00:29.039 --> 01:00:29.119
Yeah.
01:00:29.280 --> 01:00:29.920
You're gonna like, oh.
01:00:30.400 --> 01:00:30.880
Something to take away.
01:00:30.960 --> 01:00:32.719
Yeah, something to take away, going, I'm not gonna do that.
01:00:32.880 --> 01:00:33.440
I'm not gonna do that.
01:00:33.519 --> 01:00:35.360
Or you go, oh, I'm gonna do just that, you know.
01:00:35.519 --> 01:00:39.360
So yeah, I feel like um Okay, I'm gonna wrap up.
01:00:39.599 --> 01:00:39.920
Okay.
01:00:42.559 --> 01:00:44.000
Wow, that was so funny.
01:00:44.239 --> 01:00:45.519
Yeah, I I know.
01:00:45.679 --> 01:00:49.679
I think um, no, but serious, um, I want to thank you for your time.
01:00:49.920 --> 01:01:02.000
Um, I think uh, you know, we don't often get opportunities in life to connect with people and uh be able to have that deep level of appreciation for and I feel like laughing.
01:01:02.079 --> 01:01:09.760
Yeah, because it's just because I I feel like I I know this part of you that's so you have a dynamic where you're so brilliant but then really funny.
01:01:09.840 --> 01:01:11.679
And so I feel like a little kid sometimes on you.
01:01:11.760 --> 01:01:14.079
Like I'm really grateful that we gotta just talk.
01:01:14.239 --> 01:01:23.519
Like, even just it sort of makes my uh we talk about like feeling like uh yourself and not feeling ostracized, like even sometimes you're being around you.
01:01:23.599 --> 01:01:26.239
I feel like ah, yeah, like I can be myself a little bit.
01:01:26.480 --> 01:01:39.440
Yeah, so I because that's what I want people to see, because I think like there's a lot of people that have depth that sometimes don't have the support and background that you've had to allow yourself to feel comfortable to be you.
01:01:39.599 --> 01:01:39.920
Yeah.
01:01:40.159 --> 01:01:48.800
And I think that's important that people see that you can be anything you want, you can come from different backgrounds, you can really tackle those things.
01:01:49.119 --> 01:01:54.719
Yeah, you don't have to adhere to one one one uh one note of a of a trait.
01:01:54.800 --> 01:02:00.960
And so because I think sometimes people get nervous about like, and I get nervous too, because there's certain energy feels that are like, what's that about?
01:02:01.119 --> 01:02:10.159
But then like I said, it's like anytime you meet a person that like sort of goes, no, I get that part of you, you're going, oh my gosh, this person totally gets that I'm like scrittigal, you know.
01:02:10.239 --> 01:02:15.199
So like I'm so grateful that you messaged me and and to be able to be on your platform.
01:02:15.360 --> 01:02:32.000
And um honestly, like I said, I've always I don't say looked up to you because you're like same age ish, but like sort of like you've always had a very commanding sort of like it's weird the duality of really funny and silly, but then very lawful at the same time.
01:02:32.159 --> 01:02:36.400
And so even growing up, like I said, when you said you were gonna get the master's, like I've never forgot that.
01:02:36.639 --> 01:02:38.480
Like that was in my I remember the day you said it.
01:02:38.559 --> 01:02:38.719
Wow.
01:02:38.880 --> 01:02:44.159
And I remember thinking, uh, this guy is like he's on another universe, you know.
01:02:44.239 --> 01:02:49.199
Like he knows exactly who he is, he knew exactly what he was doing at track.
01:02:49.360 --> 01:02:51.840
This wasn't just like running and just like not knowing anything.
01:02:51.920 --> 01:02:54.000
And then he's like, I'm gonna work here and I'm gonna be this.
01:02:54.159 --> 01:02:56.719
And everything you said, I remember that conversation.
01:02:56.880 --> 01:02:58.480
Everything you said, you've done.
01:02:58.719 --> 01:02:59.360
How weird.
01:02:59.440 --> 01:03:00.800
Because that doesn't even always happen in life.
01:03:00.880 --> 01:03:02.159
You could like try for things.
01:03:02.320 --> 01:03:06.559
And so I don't know, I'm I'm grateful that you and you've given me opportunities.
01:03:06.639 --> 01:03:09.920
Like with my paint company years ago, you hired me for some track thing.
01:03:10.000 --> 01:03:10.400
Yeah, you know?
01:03:10.880 --> 01:03:12.400
Yeah, like I yeah, I still have all those.
01:03:12.800 --> 01:03:23.519
You've always supported me, and so I feel like this is the athletes are lucky to get you because it isn't just like like Reese and you become a dad or you become a mother or wife, like you've always been this way.
01:03:23.679 --> 01:03:32.719
You've always been this way, someone who's funny, uh interesting, really deep, but then also just like good for no reason, you know, like just always like cool with people.
01:03:32.800 --> 01:03:35.280
I remember you just talking to people randomly at track, just being nice.
01:03:35.360 --> 01:03:38.079
It didn't matter what the status thingy was.
01:03:38.320 --> 01:03:41.679
In some ways, you talking to that person made it cool too.
01:03:41.920 --> 01:03:43.039
Because you're just like, I do it.
01:03:43.119 --> 01:03:43.840
That's what I do.
01:03:44.159 --> 01:03:50.320
And so it's kind of cool because that's the mindset people should be taking with like if someone else is not leading right, you lead right.
01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:52.960
Yeah, you go talk to that person, you go help that person.
01:03:53.199 --> 01:04:00.239
Because most of the time people will look at that and are watching, they go, dang, that person's like, you know, so I've always felt that way about you.
01:04:00.400 --> 01:04:26.320
And so it's it's cool that you even reached out to me, and like I said, and thank you because you helped me with that art stuff, and so you to me are a part of uh my journey and all this stuff, and will always be, you know, so I'm super happy that you've and you've always been like sort of accepting of my personality, yeah, you know, and in in times and attractives where I've always not felt the most um I don't know, skidiggle.
01:04:26.400 --> 01:04:39.039
I never felt like I sort of vibed with everybody just because it's like I come from like again, I'm I'm an immigrant in many ways to the country, I'm first generation, and so that comes with like I have like different ingredients.
01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:45.039
Not that everyone has different ingredients, but I'm not like one main like thing from one country.
01:04:45.119 --> 01:04:49.199
It's like I've got different country ingredients, and like you are always like, what's up, Mags?
01:04:49.440 --> 01:04:51.440
Like just super, and I'm like, what?
01:04:51.599 --> 01:04:53.440
Like I've been cool, what's that about?
01:04:54.559 --> 01:04:55.039
What's the update?
01:04:55.119 --> 01:04:55.599
What's the update?
01:04:55.760 --> 01:04:58.639
Yeah, what's the yeah, what's the what's your whole thing about that, you know?
01:04:58.800 --> 01:05:03.119
And I make a dark joke and you're laughing, I'm going, huh, why do you laugh at that weird thing I just said, you know?
01:05:03.280 --> 01:05:05.360
Like, so anyways, I'm just really grateful for you.
01:05:05.599 --> 01:05:07.840
Um, where can people find you or support you?
01:05:08.239 --> 01:05:08.559
Right.
01:05:08.719 --> 01:05:11.199
Yeah, so they can find me at magnolia.otr.
01:05:11.280 --> 01:05:12.079
That's my Instagram.
01:05:12.159 --> 01:05:15.840
And um, yeah, I do most of my postings about what I'm up to.
01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:18.320
And uh, yeah, so stay in touch.
01:05:18.400 --> 01:05:19.760
I'd love to stay in touch with you guys.
01:05:19.840 --> 01:05:22.000
Um, if you're doing cool stuff, DM me.
01:05:22.159 --> 01:05:25.039
If you're doing art, um, especially if you're a track person.
01:05:25.199 --> 01:05:28.000
If you're doing art, you're a track person, uh, please get in touch.
01:05:28.079 --> 01:05:29.760
I'd love to follow you and follow your journey.
01:05:29.920 --> 01:05:39.679
And um, you know, as a smaller community, it's kind of really cool to meet other athletes that are venturing into the arts because a lot of the times people do stay in their lane in terms of they don't brush over.
01:05:39.840 --> 01:05:48.800
But if you're an artist or a writer, um, if you're other things too, but if you're artist or writer, please uh send me a DM or follow and I'd love to follow you back and um support you.
01:05:49.119 --> 01:05:49.519
Awesome.
01:05:49.599 --> 01:05:50.239
Thank you, Maggie.
01:05:50.400 --> 01:05:51.119
Yeah, thank you.
01:05:51.360 --> 01:05:51.679
Yes.