Words That Shape Us

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Welcome to, and what Else, the podcast with me, wendy O'Byrne, also known as the Completion Coach, and today I'm going to be talking about our language and I know I've covered this before and I will no doubt cover it again.
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But our language is so important and when I'm listening to people talk and understanding the language they're using versus what they really want to say, the language they're using and what that really want to say, the language they're using and what that brings up in them, the meaning they have attached to language, and just really understanding how important it is to pay attention to the words that we use, especially when we're using them as a way to try to figure out a situation, I really urge people to move away from the word resilient and resilience.
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The reason why is for most people who are using that language and using that word have created a meaning which is they are tough, they are strong and they can cope with whatever shit you throw at them.
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They see resilient as this I will survive, energy, anybody that talks about resilience are really talking about coping, overcoming and, ultimately, this kind of idea of rough, tough, strong weather.
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It give it to me.
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I can cope, and I always ask them to try to move to.
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I've got agility, I'm agile.
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So, rather than being resilient, if we're emotionally and cognitively agile, then we've got flexibility, we're moving with ease, we have got capacity to handle things, but we're not doing it from a place of strength, of shutting down, of closing down, of expecting the worst.
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And, quite honestly, when I've spoke to people about resilience especially people that are trying to be spoken to about resilience, say in a team setting or a work setting, you're rarely talking to your team about resilience in times of success.
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It's only really brought up in times of struggle, in times of challenge and in times of change, when we're asking people to build on their resilience.
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And actually our resilience, or, as I would phrase it, our emotional and cognitive agility, is our ability to navigate everything Some flexibility in our thinking, some flexibility in how we move through all of our emotions, our flexibility and range within our nervous system, our flexibility and range when it comes to challenge and when it comes to enjoyment.
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You know, because some people can't cope with a celebration, because they're like no, I don't know how to do that, I only know how to be locked into this tough, strong exterior.
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And the genity talks much more to ease.
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Not because it's easy, but because it's easier to move through everything.
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It's easier to know that we're navigating and looking for ways forward rather than withstanding a storm, withstanding a struggle.
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Agility is us thinking about movement forwards rather than standing still and have things thrown at us and hoping we're still there after the event.
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Agility is about movement, it's about finding routes forward, it's about finding solutions, it's about understanding it's a navigating path and that flexibility will always create more.
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And that idea of resilience being this rigidity, standing still and weathering a storm is where we create a lot of patterning, where people are really rigid in their thoughts, their behaviors, their expectations on outcomes, their ideas of what are possible, their ideas of what are not possible All of that I find that rigidity are with people that have often described themselves to me as resilient, and so today I would really love you to look at your language and see what comes up in your body and your mind and visualizations, ideas, expectations, memories about resilience, and think about the words agility, building agility, emotional, cognitive.
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What would an agile version of you be capable of, and what would an agile version of you be thinking, feeling, tapping into, expecting?
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How would an agile version of you be leaning into anything, including your own discomfort, including challenges, and really just look at what the difference of those words alone evoking you in the body, in memories, in thoughts and in ideas.
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Have a play around with that, because another one I see quite a lot is when we talk about surrender.
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A lot of people think that surrender is basically leaving things to fate, thinking things are beyond your control and it's almost giving up.
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They see surrender as almost waving that white flag and giving up Rather than again being committed, committed to something.
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But with the surrender of the exact route, the rigidity is left about how, what, when and why, and instead we've got more surrender to seeing what the possibilities are, seeing what comes up, seeing what comes in, and so I'd love you to think about again when you think about the word surrender, do you think about that as an agile movement or do you think about that as giving up?
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And when you think about force versus commitment and what things you could be committed to, and what does commitment bring up in you, does it feel rigid, does it feel forced, does it feel draining or does it feel like I'm so committed?
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This feels really good.
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I'm committed to seeing where it goes.
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I'm committed to seeing what happens.
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I'm committed to the expansion that's going to come with this.
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What does that word bring up in you?
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And the final one being force.
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A lot of people feel forced into things like it's a force and an effort.
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A lot of effort comes with force, and then I want you to think about some things.
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This word is used with, you know, which is a force of nature the force of life and the force of love, the force of life and the force of love.
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And when you put force with those three words, does it feel the same?
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Does it feel the same?
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And so this is a very short episode which is what I'm leaning into of where you have certain words that have weight and meaning attached to them, words that could liberate you from old ways of thinking and feeling and talking about yourself and really understanding what those words are loaded with for you.
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And be curious about how you could shift your language, be curious about how you could be really intentional about your language and just notice what effect that has, notice what difference that makes in your body, in the things that you do and don't do, in the way that you talk, in the way that you think in the way that you're engaging with people.
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Just notice what difference it can make.
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Just notice what difference it can make, because we are often hearing so many things about building a more resilient culture or building resilience in ourself, but the word has become so loaded with this rough, tough survival time standing strong, weathering the storm no-transcript.
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How agile am I?
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What's my emotional agility?
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What's my cognitive agility?
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What's my nervous system agility?
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How much do I move through everything and where do I get stuck?
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And when I get stuck, how could I build my agility there and just really play with that in a world where we are bombarded daily with people saying my way is the best way.
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You know, you've got a mindset works wrong, somatic works wrong, this way is best, my way is best.
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There's so many things and there's so much more talk of nervous system now, but in reality, they are all woven together.
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They are all woven together and your language affects how you think and feel.
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How you think and feel affects your nervous system and your nervous system affects how you think and feel.
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Nothing is a one-way system, and so I would love you to really, really concentrate and give some time and some curiosity to the words that you use on a regular basis and what weight they carry in, what you do and how you feel.
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As always, you can reach out to me, wendy, at thecompletioncoachcouk, or you can drop me a dm on instagram at the completion coach, and if this would be of any use to anybody else, please feel free to forward it on and or to leave a review, because apparently that helps lots of love.