Unlocking the Miracles Within - Episode 26 - Nervous System Regulation & Spiritual Safety with Tommy Diependaal

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If you cannot change it, why give so much attention
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to something that you cannot change? Don't let it control
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your life.
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That's a great point.
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People are too much and of course it is also
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indoctrinated by your environment. So that's why I always say
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what you give attention to is what you attract. Your
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energy field is like a magnet. What you radiate is
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what you get back. So from him I learned that
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in our DNA that somewhere say the code God within.
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Right?
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Same in Buddhist. They don't see somewhere from, you know,
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or heavily farther in the sky. No, no, it is within.
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So if it is within, why are we looking so
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much outside?
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Hi, everybody, and welcome. This is your host, Jeffrey McDonald,
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with Unlocking the Miracles Within. We're in episode 26, our
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second show in season two, and I'm welcoming our guest
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here today, Tommy Diependahl. And I definitely probably butchered his
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last name, but that's okay. He's been kind of coaching
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me on how to pronounce it. The show is on
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nervous system regulation and spiritual safety. And Tommy is in Laos.
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He's been in Southeast Asia for about over 25 years.
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And he came from the Netherlands, which I find awfully interesting.
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So that's a very Dutch name that he has. Tommy's
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an expert in health, fitness, wellness. He's coached many. folks
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over the years. I've been graced just to connect with
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him recently. We just had a wonderful discussion and decided
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to do this podcast together. Tommy's expertise is in what
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he terms biological sovereignty coaching. So we're going to learn
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a lot more about that today on the show. So Tommy,
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you know, I like kind of going into these shows
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and just hearing the stories. There's not really a plan.
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We let, you know, we let spirit guide us. But
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I want to hear how this all started. You know,
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we could talk about you moving from the Netherlands down
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to Southeast Asia 25 plus years ago. But really, I
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want to know how you got started into this health
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and wellness and just to know a little bit more
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about you. And by the way, you can say hi
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to the audience too.
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Yeah, well, I'm very happy to get your invite and
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to talk about my view about spirituality and how that
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come in your healthy life habits, practice and stuff like that.
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So I'm very happy to be here. And I hope
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that your audience get some benefits from it, from my
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talk and take something away from it and that they
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can implement that in their lifestyle.
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Yeah, that's what we like to do. You know, we
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like to come out of the show with like just
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two or three really important things they can take into
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their day and just you know, real practical, right? Take
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it and step out and actually do it and not
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get too confused by it. So yeah, looking forward to
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the channel. So tell me how it all started. Tell
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me how you got into, maybe how you got into
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health and wellness and where this biological sovereignty came from.
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Well, let's take a sprint to my, because well, I
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go back in memory lane a long time, right? I'm
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66 and I usually get my compliments that I don't
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look like it, don't act, and for sure have more energy.
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And I think that started as a little kid. So
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as a six, seven-year-old, most kids in the Netherlands, let's
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say the majority will go to football, the European version
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of football. And I did that for one season. And
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then the coach told my parents that maybe martial art
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wasn't a better solution for me because... I could not
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handle when they put me off the ball, I think,
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if I would give a reason. And so I did
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martial arts with judo, karate, and because in the Netherlands,
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the former colonies, Indonesia, there were a lot of Indonesians
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coming after the Second World War and Indonesian independence to
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the Netherlands. So Pinchak Silat was an Indonesian martial art.
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And of course, from my friends, their fathers or grandfathers,
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I learned that also a little bit get my feet
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wet in it. So I started young. And I always
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say that you must align. And as a young kid,
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you are more easy to align what is good for
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you than when the programming start and you learn all
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kinds of other things. And I like that from Vishen Lakhani.
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He's the founder from Mindvalley. And he learned me a
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new English word BRULES standing for shortcut bullshit rules but
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BRULES sounds more nice if you don't want to use
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R's word and the principle of that is that you
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learn things you learn certain habits you learn your world
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view just from your little environment where you live right
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so for me because I grow up in a mixed
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culture then I pick up from everywhere and And by 16,
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I thought from I was playing water polo, I want
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to get a little bit more stronger because otherwise I
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was every time underwater instead of playing with the ball
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above water. And I start strength training. So my parents
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did give me an adjustable dumbbell set, barbell set. And
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even the whole set came with my first supplementation line.
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And they were, if you go back in memory lane, uh,
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medication was awful to swallow down, right? You need an,
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almost a bucket of water to get the pill down
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because otherwise it would stuck in your throat. Uh, and
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that was same with, uh, these, uh, supplements. The, the
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vitamin B was awful. You would have hours later, still
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the taste from the vitamin B. But anyway, I, I
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put myself through and then I start to like it.
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And I start to first 18 to the gym, uh,
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already a little bit, uh, Well, then my army duty
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in the Netherlands, you had to come for your number
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when you were 18. So always have a little adventure attitude.
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So I signed up for the Blue Helmets and I
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ended up in South Lebanon in 1980. So there was
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not much weightlifting. And come back and of course, that
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formed you. You see things that you normally would see
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on TV and now you also see it in real life.
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And I came back and full force into weightlifting, bodybuilding.
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I want to pack on weight. And I did love that.
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Just challenge myself. You don't work with anybody else. Yeah,
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you have your training partners or gym buddies, but in
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the end, they don't lift the weight, right? You have
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to do that. So just form your character. And at
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that time, I was working in a government job, but
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in my 30s, I ended up... also doing for myself
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as a company, IT consulting, and getting the determination to
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achieve your goals. I mean, that is what you learn
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also in lifting weights. You set your goal, I want
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to lift that weight, and you work to it. So
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that is how I came in wellness and always keep
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the balance from eating because, well, in this sport, you
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need to eat right to get your results. Arnold Schwarzenegger
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promote that example for me, uh, for sure later on
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more because he was not really the body type that
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I was because I was not in his line. I
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had other idols because they would be more in my
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body type and then what they reach maximum. But anyway, who,
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how we stand in life and that you can set
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your mind to achieve your goals. So because how I
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grow up with my past colonial friends or with colonial origin,
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I always said in my teenage years already by 40,
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I want to live on a tropical island on the beach.
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And then with a friend of mine who was original
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from Suriname, we ended up in Thailand. Very unexpected. He
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was a football fan and we booked it on the
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last moment. Two weeks later, we were in Thailand on
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Koh Samui. Had a great time. And then when I
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came back, my business partner said, go back to Thailand
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and see what we can do. Because the plan was
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first Indonesia, but then family that he still had contact with,
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they say, oh, he's white. Maybe on the moment with
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the tensions and religious tensions that are there, we don't
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know what's going to happen. So let him think twice.
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So I ended up in Thailand, very unexpected. So I
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was living on Koh Samui, nice, beautiful island. Not the
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best place if you don't want to end up in
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the tourist business to make money. So I ended up
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in Bangkok. And from there, I was a walking billboard.
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I mean, 90 kilos, below 10% fat, muscular. People just
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came to me. I didn't have to ask, do you
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want to have a coach? They just came. come talk,
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ask some questions and then they like it, how I
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approach them. And then they say, can you coach me?
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So you had to, you, you, uh, you're, you're this
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physical specimen, you're low body fat, you're, you're doing the
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health and coaching. When, at what point, In your journey,
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did that begin to bridge more into the spirituality aspect,
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more into the.
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Well, spirituality.
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Go ahead, I'm sorry.
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It was always there, right? With martial arts, then you
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get also your Asian culture from... Take your time. I
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learned with bodybuilding already from an Asian doctor. So he
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was just a general doctor. I think he was the
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director from an... hospital for elderly with dementia and stuff
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like that but on the side he did acupuncture and
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he was the team doctor from a boxing team so
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he teached me at that time already self-hypnose and visualize
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your whole program how you go to the gym and
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how you prepare yourself and how you was going to
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your exercise program so you learn already to go within
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and as an 18 year old while I was on
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college for nautical engineering i was introduced to buddhism and
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so i learned that i i did all type of
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meditation on and off and of course living in thailand
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and now laos buddhist countries i did i didn't became
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a buddhist but i i probably i did always something
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practicing like that and uh sometimes find your stillness. Be aware.
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Be present in the moment. People are everywhere, all over
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the place. They never find a moment of stillness. So
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I think there, for your audience, mostly Christians, praying should
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be a moment of stillness. Yeah. A moment to be
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with yourself, with your with your thoughts, with how you
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regulate yourself, how you find yourself in the present moment.
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That is, in every religion, that should be the basic.
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So how would you define this, the term you use,
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biological sovereignty? I mean, what's the driving force behind you
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creating that for your coaching?
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Yeah, well... For sure here in Asia, the most people
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that I did coach were, of course, from all these
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charity organizations. I didn't know how many different type of
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UN departments you have. I think for every little shit,
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you have a separate UN department and they will help people.
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It was amazing. So you have a bunch of country directors,
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high-end country managers, and they saw me in the gym,
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and here I called in the new colonials because they
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have the whole entourage, right? They have a side business
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beside the job with the nanny, the housekeeper, the gardener,
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the security, the driver, and then for the kids and
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stuff like that. And then me as a coach was
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the other cherry on top because they had more time
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than working in the West. And because of my background,
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then they say, because they usually change every couple of
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years and to a new location, you say, Oh, you're
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quite different in your approach with coaching. And it's not
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what I was expecting from a fitness coach. And I said, well,
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to be honest, I was never really a fitness coach.
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I had normal jobs, companies, and it was a hobby
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on the side. I said, but in Thailand, people start
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to ask me how they could pay me and Then
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I make it more. I did coach on people in
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that land, but not for money, not in a professional way,
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just hobby. And then the talk that you have in
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between the sets, then they want to have a session
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outside of the gym. So I start to do coffee
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sessions and then get a couple of clients that were
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asking for the same and then talk about things and
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how you regulate it. And then in these talks, then
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I would say from, I see the body as in
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biological computers. And you program your computer to function in
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a certain way. And if you do that in the
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right way, then you are in charge of your biology.
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So biological sovereignty. Ah, okay. Right? So in my coaching,
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I have three pillars. Body, mind, and spirit. Because like
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I said, said already from my story with my acupuncture doctor,
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how he learned me to go in the mind and
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do already. Your mind don't know that you were just
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thinking about it or that it was a real memory
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or that you did it already. So, of course, it
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would be stupid if your personal record would be 100
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kilos and then you get in your mind and you
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say 200 kilos. Yeah, well, your mind can handle it,
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but your body most likely not. So you work on that.
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And so I always say you must keep your body
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fit because your body is the home for your mind
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and spirit, right? Your consciousness. And if you have too
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much physical worries because you are unhealthy, your metabolic syndrome,
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most of our disease, 90%, I would say, are metabolic-related diseases.
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I see it even with cancer. I see people, they
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totally cure themselves to improve their lifestyle. Of course, they
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didn't start in the last stage. But when they get
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the first message from, hey, you have some cancer. So
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they change their lifestyle, take away the food that doesn't
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serve you. So in the body, have some physical activities.
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Physical activity is stress on the body. So there you
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get already one part, how you regulate the stress that
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doesn't overwhelm you, like asking too much from you. So
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I always talk to my clients about the flow, the
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flow of life. And you have to flow also in
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your activities. Sometimes you are on the top of the
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mountain and sometimes you go down to the valley and
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then you go up again. Don't be always on top.
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because your mind cannot handle that. Even I talk about
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ancestral wisdom. In the old age, they were full speed running,
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hunting an animal to get the protein. And then the
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animal was there. And if the animal was big enough,
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they would load up on food and they would have
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a couple of days that they more relaxed because they
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could just looking for some roots, fruits. whatever green for
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fibers they were eating. So I don't believe in vegetarian
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or veganist or whatever. You need to have balance that
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many people eat not enough fibers. That is a truth.
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But I don't say that you need to leave out
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one part because our body is developed to have all
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the part to digest. Otherwise, our system would be different.
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So for you personally, because we're talking about nervous system regulation,
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and clearly, I mean, we're all human, right? I'm sure
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there have been times where your system has been off.
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Oh, yes.
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So one, talk about that a little bit. How do
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you know when you're off? And what are some of
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the first steps that you do to kind of get yourself,
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maybe that valley you talked about, maybe you're in the
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valley and you want to get it back more balanced.
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For sure. In America, you have also a similar expression
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from don't make from a mosquito, an elephant. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
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And my younger brother, he's on the moment with some
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burnout and, and then, Just before I know, an email,
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a newsletter came up and then it was showing about
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that you're overacting on some problems. You make it more big.
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You put all your attention there instead of regulating it,
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keeping it spread around. Don't focus on one thing and
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that make you your whole life. So I want to
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say that to him, but he was in a weekend away.
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And so I think, okay, I wait till he's back.
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And then he gave me a voice message that he said, well,
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maybe I put too much salt on certain issues related
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to my work. If I would not give it so
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much importance, then it would not stress me out. So
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most people, they put too much importance. and they're the same,
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but when people they label themselves, I am a doctor. No,
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you are or I am a person that practices medicine.
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That sounds a little bit different, right? So it's just
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one part. So I am someone that enjoy bodybuilding. I
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don't label myself as a bodybuilder. And people also see
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bodybuilding right away with what they see as a top
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sport on stage. But what does the word mean? Building
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a body, right? And you decide where your boundaries, where
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your goals, where your limits are. Not everybody want to
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have a hardcore visible six pack and muscles popping out
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of a t-shirt. But most people are under muscles and
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that gives them the problem with obesity. So it is
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always about balance and balance then also, if I talk
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about balance, then people only think about 50-50. 50-50 is
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not balance. That means just equal. Take 50 gram of
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lead and put it on a scale. the old-fashioned one
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that you... And then you put feathers on the other side.
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You need a lot of feathers to keep the balance
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that stay equal. Now, see that with a healthy lifestyle.
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The lead is the part that serves your mind. When
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you eat a burger and a... I mean, they're not
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a good meat burger, but the crab from McDonald's or
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one of these fast food chains, right? So that is
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not because of just the burger that it tastes so good.
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It is the whole environment, the whole marketing that they
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brainwash you with. And then you give that a certain
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picture in your mind. And that's why you long for
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this type of burger. But if that is once per
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week or once per month, whatever, and the rest of it,
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you eat what serves your body, that benefits your body,
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then the balance is there, right? I always say I'm
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not a health freak. I'm not a health guru. I'm
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a lifestyle coach, mentor, and use spirituality in it. So
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I teach you how to see and how to learn
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a new language. In Europe, we learn on school easy
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two foreign languages. on high school, you have your base,
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Dutch in this case, and then English is mandatory, and
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then German or French was a second option. So you're
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already multi-language, but nobody learn how to listen to the
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language how your body is talking to you, because you
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are so distracted with everything else, with your life, you're
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constant in a flight or something, move right flight or
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fight because you have so much you never turn it
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down and if I now look in memory lane I
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always need to turn down a little bit if I
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was always asking too much I was getting sick so
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then I had one or two days that I would
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sleep a lot could not go to school because I
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was so and then On a certain moment, then I
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learn to respect and listen to my body from, okay,
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today I go early to bed. No reason. I just
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feel that I need my sleep. And not on the
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last moment that you come short on sleep. So on average,
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I say people need between seven to nine hours to
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feel best. And if they say, oh, no, in the
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weekend I need nine or ten. Well, you don't can
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catch up. If you watch the whole week on six hours,
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it doesn't work like that. For me, it is even
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that I feel better when I stay consistent in the weekend.
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Then when I turn, so I wake up my normal
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time in a natural way. And then I think, oh,
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let's turn around. And you sleep a little bit more.
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And then you had one and a half hour more.
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And then actually I feel sluggish. I don't feel refreshed.
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Because their body was not meeting it.
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Yeah, I definitely relate to that. Like sometimes I got
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to be conscious because if I go too long, you know,
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I would get up and get moving. I'll be as
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sluggish as if I got up too soon, right, and
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tried to push myself through. So usually I have a
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good sense of what my– Optimal sleep is, which, you know,
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mine's around that nine hour mark. I'm not a, I'm
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not a short sleeper by any means personally, but, but, um,
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I love my sleep.
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Well, there's also something, right? Yeah. When people get older
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than they say they, oh, they don't need so much
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sleep at night. Well, you need the same type of
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sleep per 24 hours, but most older people had a
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little nap somewhere in the day.
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Yeah.
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So they had already some little recovering time in an
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other part. I even see from an, I don't know,
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it was an experiment or that they really say that
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people live like that. It would be a little bit
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difficult if you have a normal, normal eight hour job,
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but they did every four hours in 30 minutes sleep. Yeah.
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And people were staying healthy and function well, but Well,
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in a normal average lifestyle, every 30 hours, take a
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nap or sleep. A little bit hard, right? In a
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normal lifestyle. So I don't know about that. But it
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was an interesting thing that they were staying healthy and good.
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So for me, to feel the best, I even have
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an e-book about it that I talk about morning and
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evening rituals. So your body, like I said, is a
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biological computer. And a computer function best when you follow
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the program, even on your, on your laptop or your desktop, uh, yeah,
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you follow the programs. And if you take care of
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your computer also with getting junk out, uh, junk programs,
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then your computer work best. No virus in it. No, right.
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No junk files and it stay up to speed. The
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body is the same. So for me, I function best
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00:26:58.730 --> 00:27:01.339
in the morning. So I wake up and then right
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00:27:01.400 --> 00:27:08.789
away I use a 20-minute, 20, 25-minute morning meditation. And
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in this case, I use a guided meditation because I
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know that if I totally relax and I like to
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00:27:18.329 --> 00:27:20.730
in the morning just to lay down with my meditation,
401
00:27:21.970 --> 00:27:25.089
so I don't want to doze away. So I have
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00:27:25.190 --> 00:27:30.759
a guided meditation that that I visualized already my day
403
00:27:32.059 --> 00:27:37.509
and I set a positive mindset. So again, I programmed
404
00:27:37.789 --> 00:27:42.769
my mind, my being, how I approach the day. And
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00:27:42.849 --> 00:27:45.609
it worked fine. It really worked. I feel better. It
406
00:27:47.789 --> 00:27:50.750
worked in the traffic flow. So it seems like I
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00:27:50.789 --> 00:27:55.109
have a green flow. Traffic lights jump on green. Cars
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go out the way. Motorbikes don't border. So you have
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00:27:58.319 --> 00:28:03.630
no Irritation in the driving, in the road situation and
410
00:28:03.930 --> 00:28:06.410
in Southeast Asia, it can give a lot of irritation.
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But for me, it disappeared on the moment I have
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my morning ritual and also activate my energy. So I
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have a small 10 minutes Qigong flow. And that is
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to activate your energy. I mean, for me, I'm a
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strong believer that everything is frequencies, vibrations.
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Yeah.
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So, and also your food give vibrations are signals to
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which part of the body they serve, right? Certain food
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is good for your liver, some for your eyes and
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this and that. So it is all frequency and energy.
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And if you have it all in the right way,
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how it serve you, then again, biological sovereignty.
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What's the number one thing that if you you kind
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of missed during your day, like you got busy or
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00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:02.269
you were traveling, that you know would probably throw you off?
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00:29:06.269 --> 00:29:12.829
Usually, my body gives a signal. So it asks for
427
00:29:12.890 --> 00:29:16.890
it because it is programmed for the rhythm. And yeah,
428
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sometimes it can be a little bit later because I
429
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was busy and then it is an hour later than usual,
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00:29:22.619 --> 00:29:25.569
but then I still do something or If I don't
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have time for a half-hour meditation, I do it 10
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minutes or 5 minutes. Just close my eye, follow my breath,
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and take a moment to be present. And even walking,
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00:29:41.849 --> 00:29:46.069
nowadays people like to walk with a headset on, right?
435
00:29:46.130 --> 00:29:50.869
And then again, they stimulate the mind, they listen to music,
436
00:29:50.910 --> 00:29:55.059
they listen to a podcast, they listen to something. For me,
437
00:29:55.339 --> 00:29:59.109
I like to, after my lunch, by one of the
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00:29:59.170 --> 00:30:02.670
places if I'm not eating at home. There's always some
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00:30:02.710 --> 00:30:07.779
green zone, a little park or something that you can
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00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:13.140
walk and not be stimulated by everything. And so I
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00:30:13.180 --> 00:30:16.359
just have 10 minutes that I walk around after my
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00:30:16.400 --> 00:30:21.470
food so the body digests the food better and I
443
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have a moment of being present so I don't put
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a headset on or stuff like that. I just be
445
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very present and very noticeable about my surrounding, seeing nature.
446
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Sometimes even if my stress level is too high. In
447
00:30:39.250 --> 00:30:42.990
the past, we had one of our royal family, one
448
00:30:43.029 --> 00:30:50.309
of the former queen, so the grandmother from our present king. Okay.
449
00:30:50.329 --> 00:30:52.940
So one of his aunts, she was a tree hugger,
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a tree talker, a tree whisperer. And at that time,
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I was in a part of life that I, yeah,
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I would not dismiss it, but with my friends and
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how I was living, so this was not the group
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setting where I would ventilate my thoughts about it. So
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I find it a bit woo-woo, and I was busy
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with so many other things, so I didn't get much attention.
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00:31:15.670 --> 00:31:19.369
But later on, I learned it in a meditative practice that,
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so you go stand by a big tree, put your
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00:31:22.849 --> 00:31:25.880
hand on it, bring yourself in a meditative state and
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00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:31.539
that the tree take away your negative energy. And because
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00:31:31.579 --> 00:31:34.880
you program your mind in this practice, you don't have
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to stand every time physical by a tree to touch it.
463
00:31:39.730 --> 00:31:44.009
You just can sit down, close your eye and visualize
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00:31:44.049 --> 00:31:48.170
the tree. And it take away the stress because you
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00:31:48.210 --> 00:31:51.329
already teach your brain when it see the tree and,
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00:31:51.490 --> 00:31:54.240
and that you touch it so in your mind you
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touch the tree for your brain that is real.
468
00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:02.819
Yeah that makes i mean i love feeling the energy
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00:32:02.859 --> 00:32:07.670
of trees or um you know going out in the
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grass barefoot or yes leaning against a tree you know
471
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like your back against the tree because you feel supported
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00:32:16.009 --> 00:32:20.660
by it um so those are beautiful energies but i
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00:32:20.700 --> 00:32:22.220
get you know you're saying hey if you're not near
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one just visualize it in your mind and your.
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00:32:26.240 --> 00:32:29.200
Mind doesn't know any different right yeah the mind is
476
00:32:29.220 --> 00:32:31.420
a powerful tool and i i see one time a
477
00:32:31.500 --> 00:32:36.769
nice video that a lady was having her child on
478
00:32:36.809 --> 00:32:37.559
a chair.
479
00:32:38.910 --> 00:32:41.269
Small child and then the chair on her on her
480
00:32:41.309 --> 00:32:45.349
legs the the child was facing away away to the
481
00:32:46.380 --> 00:32:50.019
to the TV and on the TV, they had like
482
00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:53.859
from a roller coaster, right? That was in front of
483
00:32:53.900 --> 00:32:56.480
her on the TV. And then her mom was making
484
00:32:57.079 --> 00:32:59.700
with her legs, the movement so that for the child
485
00:32:59.740 --> 00:33:03.559
was feeling and the child was experienced as a real
486
00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:07.519
roller coaster. She was making the same screams and what
487
00:33:07.559 --> 00:33:09.440
you would do if you would sit as a kid
488
00:33:09.500 --> 00:33:12.720
in a roller coaster, oh damn, it's going down and
489
00:33:12.740 --> 00:33:15.349
stuff like that because she was, moving the tree in
490
00:33:15.390 --> 00:33:17.509
that way. So then you can see how powerful the
491
00:33:17.549 --> 00:33:22.039
mind is to create something that you experience as real.
492
00:33:24.420 --> 00:33:26.059
Well, you talk about that a little bit. You talk
493
00:33:26.099 --> 00:33:30.480
about visualizing your day. You talk about, you know, making
494
00:33:30.519 --> 00:33:34.059
sure you have calm and peace. If you had to
495
00:33:34.099 --> 00:33:37.509
give folks, like, one of the things, I'll share a
496
00:33:37.640 --> 00:33:39.730
little bit, one of the things that I notice about
497
00:33:39.789 --> 00:33:47.940
myself is that emotions... very have a tremendous impact on
498
00:33:47.980 --> 00:33:52.289
my body. So I'll feel it physically before I think
499
00:33:52.349 --> 00:33:55.970
about it. And sometimes it catches me off guard. Like
500
00:33:56.009 --> 00:33:58.730
I'll go, what's this about? You know, and then I
501
00:33:58.769 --> 00:34:03.589
realize it's an emotion of worry or fear or stress
502
00:34:03.650 --> 00:34:09.250
or whatever that is. My go-to is prayer, you know, um,
503
00:34:09.329 --> 00:34:11.869
which is a meditation, you know, it's, it's, it's the
504
00:34:11.909 --> 00:34:17.199
same process. Basically you, Basically, yes. You get quiet and
505
00:34:17.380 --> 00:34:22.820
try to listen and you express gratitude and all those
506
00:34:22.860 --> 00:34:26.199
kind of things. But that's one of the things I do.
507
00:34:26.460 --> 00:34:31.260
But I'm interested in this visualization thing that you do.
508
00:34:33.139 --> 00:34:37.389
Maybe you can walk us through something you faced in
509
00:34:37.409 --> 00:34:40.789
your day, like a real practical example, and maybe when
510
00:34:40.829 --> 00:34:43.579
you would step away and visualize it. And what would
511
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:45.099
you visualize, you know, that kind of thing?
512
00:34:48.059 --> 00:34:51.340
Usually, first of all, I calm my mind. So with
513
00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:54.730
the breath, the breath is a powerful thing, right? Most people,
514
00:34:54.769 --> 00:34:57.170
they not even breathe. They just puff a little bit.
515
00:34:58.329 --> 00:35:02.730
So I go for intentional breathing because that will calm
516
00:35:03.090 --> 00:35:03.710
my system.
517
00:35:06.039 --> 00:35:08.849
Is there a count, you know, an in and out?
518
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:10.059
Yeah, five. Yeah.
519
00:35:10.949 --> 00:35:16.800
So I call it the 555, actually four times because
520
00:35:17.199 --> 00:35:21.940
here in Asia or in Thailand and Laos, the number
521
00:35:22.139 --> 00:35:23.760
five is ha.
522
00:35:26.280 --> 00:35:30.219
Right? So if I would say 555, then it is ha, ha, ha.
523
00:35:31.429 --> 00:35:37.090
I love it. So they use that to express laughing also,
524
00:35:37.190 --> 00:35:40.050
not only as a number, but also from, oh, that's funny.
525
00:35:41.400 --> 00:35:46.099
but yeah anyway I do five rounds of five counts
526
00:35:46.780 --> 00:35:52.179
inhale deep through your nose then you hold it for
527
00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:56.119
five seconds then you exhale through your mouth for five
528
00:35:56.159 --> 00:36:00.030
seconds and then you hold the exhale for five seconds
529
00:36:00.170 --> 00:36:01.570
before you breathe in again.
530
00:36:04.389 --> 00:36:07.889
Five times making me breathe in making me yawn.
531
00:36:07.929 --> 00:36:13.170
A lot it is like you sit down for a minute,
532
00:36:13.250 --> 00:36:18.769
two minutes, or something like that. And that is with
533
00:36:18.789 --> 00:36:21.230
many things. So in my time as a fitness trainer,
534
00:36:21.250 --> 00:36:27.670
then I also say an average set of your 15
535
00:36:27.670 --> 00:36:35.550
repetitions take about 30 seconds. So be 30 seconds present
536
00:36:36.849 --> 00:36:39.949
that you have a body-mind connection. So in this case,
537
00:36:40.159 --> 00:36:42.639
let's say you do a squat that your mind is
538
00:36:42.679 --> 00:36:45.940
focused on your legs, not on what you're going to
539
00:36:45.980 --> 00:36:49.239
do after your gym sessions, not what you did before
540
00:36:49.280 --> 00:36:52.159
you came to the gym. Have the 30 seconds just
541
00:36:52.219 --> 00:36:54.739
be present. Can you not even have 30 seconds that
542
00:36:54.780 --> 00:37:00.070
you can distract your mind and don't give attention to everything?
543
00:37:03.489 --> 00:37:06.070
For sure, you remember as a kid laying down on
544
00:37:06.110 --> 00:37:09.650
your back in the grass with your friends, looking up
545
00:37:09.670 --> 00:37:13.230
to the sky and watching the clouds. because you try
546
00:37:13.269 --> 00:37:17.010
to see certain forms in the cloud, right? Oh, that
547
00:37:17.030 --> 00:37:20.789
looked like a man, that looked like a car and whatever, right?
548
00:37:22.050 --> 00:37:26.500
And you didn't follow the cloud how it was out
549
00:37:26.539 --> 00:37:32.199
of sight because a new cloud is already there. That
550
00:37:32.260 --> 00:37:37.730
is what I also say in meditation. Don't give attention
551
00:37:37.769 --> 00:37:40.829
to everything. Your thoughts are there. You don't empty your
552
00:37:40.849 --> 00:37:43.250
mind that you have no thoughts. You have 10,000 thoughts
553
00:37:43.349 --> 00:37:48.170
per minute or something like that. You cannot imagine how
554
00:37:48.230 --> 00:37:50.949
much going on in your mind. So when you say, oh,
555
00:37:51.010 --> 00:37:53.010
I have so many thoughts. No, that is just the
556
00:37:53.090 --> 00:37:58.699
drop in the bucket. And now you are aware. You
557
00:37:58.739 --> 00:38:02.360
know that the thoughts are there. But for this little moment,
558
00:38:02.380 --> 00:38:05.860
you don't give attention to it. that will calm you
559
00:38:05.909 --> 00:38:09.820
down already. I like also the saying from when you say, oh,
560
00:38:09.829 --> 00:38:13.650
when you have a problem or whatever, it's not a problem.
561
00:38:15.590 --> 00:38:18.670
It is only how much you make out of it
562
00:38:19.110 --> 00:38:21.650
or it is a problem. And if it is a problem,
563
00:38:23.130 --> 00:38:25.829
how much attention you want to give to it? Is
564
00:38:25.849 --> 00:38:28.809
the problem there that you can change now in the moment?
565
00:38:28.969 --> 00:38:33.559
Then change it. If you cannot change it, Why give
566
00:38:33.599 --> 00:38:36.940
so much attention to something that you cannot change? Don't
567
00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:38.079
let it control your life.
568
00:38:38.099 --> 00:38:39.780
Yeah, that's a great point.
569
00:38:41.280 --> 00:38:44.360
Right? People are too much. And of course, it is
570
00:38:44.860 --> 00:38:55.030
also indoctrinated by your environment. Remember? Rules. Yeah. We do
571
00:38:55.050 --> 00:38:59.170
this shit because we learn to do like that. Well,
572
00:38:59.250 --> 00:39:01.130
if you didn't learn how to do like that, you
573
00:39:01.150 --> 00:39:05.469
can also unlearn it. And that was a big revelation
574
00:39:05.510 --> 00:39:11.119
when back in the Netherlands, I was already on the
575
00:39:12.280 --> 00:39:16.659
verge to move 100% to Thailand. And I had a
576
00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:24.090
connection with a Chinese exchange student. And talking with her
577
00:39:24.230 --> 00:39:28.409
and learning about China, she was from Beijing. And of course,
578
00:39:28.429 --> 00:39:31.110
she was then a little bit privileged, her Her father
579
00:39:31.130 --> 00:39:34.170
was a doctor. No, he was playing in a concert,
580
00:39:34.610 --> 00:39:37.650
in an orchestra. And her mom was a doctor. So
581
00:39:37.690 --> 00:39:41.349
they were not on the lowest level in China. But
582
00:39:41.929 --> 00:39:45.300
I learned so much that was different than what I
583
00:39:45.340 --> 00:39:54.809
was learning in Netherlands about China. Right? And so... So
584
00:39:54.909 --> 00:39:57.769
I learned to look in a different way to China.
585
00:39:58.409 --> 00:40:00.880
And then I moved to Asia. And then I also,
586
00:40:01.840 --> 00:40:08.900
even I grew up with friends originated from Asia and
587
00:40:08.940 --> 00:40:13.869
been on holiday in Asia. But living there, I learned
588
00:40:13.909 --> 00:40:18.309
new things. Life is different. And it is not how
589
00:40:18.389 --> 00:40:22.869
I did learn about Asia. Yeah. Yeah, maybe that was
590
00:40:22.929 --> 00:40:27.659
right 100 years ago, but Asia involved also. So same
591
00:40:27.699 --> 00:40:31.119
that in my youth in the Netherlands, they would scrub
592
00:40:31.159 --> 00:40:36.440
the sidewalk with water and soap. Now not anymore, already
593
00:40:36.500 --> 00:40:41.039
long time not. So sometimes they point to, oh, in
594
00:40:41.079 --> 00:40:44.000
Asia they do this and this and this. Well, many
595
00:40:44.059 --> 00:40:46.559
things they do now also in the Western world because
596
00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:52.880
globalization bring different cultures, different thinking together and then you
597
00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:58.079
must find your way how it fit together in in
598
00:40:58.239 --> 00:41:03.670
in that location and the location is mostly also dictated
599
00:41:03.750 --> 00:41:07.829
by the nature i mean here in asia with certain
600
00:41:07.869 --> 00:41:10.909
temperatures and and i don't need to shuffle two meters
601
00:41:10.929 --> 00:41:13.800
snow to get out of my house for example is
602
00:41:14.320 --> 00:41:16.739
if i would live in certain part of canada for
603
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:20.760
example uh that then one meter snow can fall down
604
00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:24.820
overnight while we don't have snow. So you can live
605
00:41:25.139 --> 00:41:28.840
in a different way. So you adapt to your environment.
606
00:41:28.940 --> 00:41:33.000
I don't push how I was living in Netherlands and
607
00:41:33.059 --> 00:41:36.389
try to copy-paste it to here in Asia. Of course,
608
00:41:36.449 --> 00:41:39.809
I have my little things. But for sure, over 25
609
00:41:39.809 --> 00:41:45.760
years living here, my younger brother always say... whatever happened,
610
00:41:45.820 --> 00:41:48.719
don't come back to Netherlands because it is not the
611
00:41:48.760 --> 00:41:52.389
country that you left. He don't mean it in a
612
00:41:52.449 --> 00:41:56.250
negative way, but don't come back to a fantasy that
613
00:41:56.269 --> 00:41:59.429
you left and from, okay, I don't like anymore where
614
00:41:59.469 --> 00:42:01.289
I live and I go back to Netherlands. He said,
615
00:42:01.309 --> 00:42:05.210
you will not find what you did leave because we
616
00:42:05.429 --> 00:42:07.889
evolve in a different direction and what you had in
617
00:42:07.909 --> 00:42:10.030
the past is not there anymore. You're also older, so
618
00:42:10.070 --> 00:42:15.510
you look different in a different way. So, Life is
619
00:42:15.550 --> 00:42:23.750
a lifelong learning experience. Never say that you are finished learning.
620
00:42:23.769 --> 00:42:28.460
I always did like it from a Dutch child book writer.
621
00:42:29.420 --> 00:42:31.539
And she was already in her 70s and then on
622
00:42:31.599 --> 00:42:35.579
a TV show, got an interview and the host asked her,
623
00:42:36.199 --> 00:42:40.130
how you can still in your 70s write books for children?
624
00:42:41.010 --> 00:42:44.389
And she said, well, I never did let the child
625
00:42:44.489 --> 00:42:45.510
in myself die.
626
00:42:45.530 --> 00:42:47.750
Right?
627
00:42:47.769 --> 00:42:53.190
Yeah. And if you come from Christian belief, it's amazing
628
00:42:53.730 --> 00:42:58.710
how much overlap the core principles are there in Christianity,
629
00:42:58.809 --> 00:43:01.989
in Buddhist, in Hinduist, and Taoist, and stuff like that. Yeah.
630
00:43:03.610 --> 00:43:07.269
And then even I learned that in the Torah and
631
00:43:07.309 --> 00:43:12.780
in the Bible, they also talk about reincarnation. And I
632
00:43:12.820 --> 00:43:18.400
was baffled with that. I was, oh, really? For me, well,
633
00:43:18.460 --> 00:43:21.829
I'm not in practice Christian, but of course I grew up.
634
00:43:21.909 --> 00:43:25.530
I did my commune when I was seven and stuff
635
00:43:25.550 --> 00:43:28.530
like that. So, of course, I have my basic knowledge.
636
00:43:28.590 --> 00:43:31.289
And that is also what I have, basic knowledge about
637
00:43:31.309 --> 00:43:35.940
Islam or Buddhism and the other things, because I always
638
00:43:35.960 --> 00:43:38.719
have some interest in it for one way or the other.
639
00:43:40.260 --> 00:43:41.679
Are you familiar with Greg Braden?
640
00:43:42.539 --> 00:43:43.820
Yes, very familiar.
641
00:43:44.579 --> 00:43:48.510
So from him, I learned that in our DNA, that
642
00:43:48.550 --> 00:43:56.130
it's somewhere, say, the code God within. Right? Same in Buddhist.
643
00:43:56.150 --> 00:44:01.349
They don't see somewhere from, you know, or Heavenly Father
644
00:44:01.389 --> 00:44:04.530
in the sky. No, no, it is within. So if
645
00:44:04.570 --> 00:44:11.460
it is within, why are we looking so much outside? Yeah. Well,
646
00:44:11.480 --> 00:44:13.980
you already say with praying that you go within, right?
647
00:44:14.420 --> 00:44:17.500
Yeah, you always got to go within. Yeah, I think that's,
648
00:44:17.659 --> 00:44:23.030
I mean, there's a lot of reasons for that. Like
649
00:44:23.070 --> 00:44:27.849
you said, everybody kind of evolves in their culture, in
650
00:44:27.869 --> 00:44:33.590
their being. And I think over time, as we get
651
00:44:33.639 --> 00:44:38.920
older and wiser, those, your ego begins to fall away.
652
00:44:39.630 --> 00:44:42.750
And when your ego begins to fall away a bit more,
653
00:44:43.010 --> 00:44:45.639
you know, maybe not for everybody, but, you know, my case,
654
00:44:47.500 --> 00:44:53.579
you begin to open up to, oh, okay, like this
655
00:44:53.679 --> 00:44:55.599
is all connected, right?
656
00:44:55.619 --> 00:44:56.800
Yes.
657
00:44:58.199 --> 00:45:01.070
And creator, God, whatever words you want to use, in
658
00:45:01.110 --> 00:45:02.550
my case, it's God.
659
00:45:02.269 --> 00:45:03.210
And it is me.
660
00:45:04.650 --> 00:45:12.039
It's the tree. I don't know if you've ever, well,
661
00:45:12.380 --> 00:45:16.110
you mentioned Buddha and actually Thich Nhat Hanh wrote an
662
00:45:16.119 --> 00:45:20.010
amazing book, The Buddha and Christ, which is a great book,
663
00:45:20.050 --> 00:45:22.329
you know, because he saw the parallels too. He's an
664
00:45:22.929 --> 00:45:30.449
amazing monk, you know, very wise man. But there's also
665
00:45:30.469 --> 00:45:34.250
a book, I'm trying to remember the name of it now.
666
00:45:34.269 --> 00:45:36.570
I actually have it here somewhere. I could turn it around,
667
00:45:36.610 --> 00:45:40.869
but It's basically a linguist, and he was talking about
668
00:45:41.070 --> 00:45:45.989
why the interpretation from, like, in Jesus' day, Aramaic was
669
00:45:46.050 --> 00:45:51.219
Jesus' native language, Hebrew, and then it evolved to Latin,
670
00:45:51.659 --> 00:45:57.300
and the Latin language is structured very differently than the languages,
671
00:45:58.539 --> 00:46:02.579
many native languages of various regions, but specifically the Aramaic language.
672
00:46:03.050 --> 00:46:06.969
So the way he explained it is, in Latin or
673
00:46:07.050 --> 00:46:09.809
now in the English language, you know, what evolved from
674
00:46:09.869 --> 00:46:12.809
the Latin language is you look at a tree and
675
00:46:12.849 --> 00:46:18.369
you say, oh, there's a tree. And in Aramaic, it
676
00:46:18.409 --> 00:46:24.199
would be more like, I see that treeing being a tree,
677
00:46:24.320 --> 00:46:27.219
the act of being a tree, the act of creation
678
00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:30.559
being me or being a tree. And I always thought
679
00:46:30.579 --> 00:46:34.679
that was, that's quite an amazing way how language even
680
00:46:34.719 --> 00:46:42.900
has changed maybe our understanding or our awareness. And it
681
00:46:42.980 --> 00:46:46.219
really makes me think like, okay, we, we might've lost
682
00:46:46.260 --> 00:46:49.179
something with all the different ways we try to communicate.
683
00:46:49.820 --> 00:46:52.760
But the truth is, is that God, God creation is
684
00:46:52.840 --> 00:47:02.260
in everything. And, you know, we are all equally cherished
685
00:47:02.789 --> 00:47:07.159
by creation. And so, you know, we, we're the ones
686
00:47:07.199 --> 00:47:10.250
that compare everything. Like this is better than this and
687
00:47:10.449 --> 00:47:14.610
all that stuff. And the truth is, it's all an experience.
688
00:47:15.210 --> 00:47:16.730
I did want to get to one thing because I
689
00:47:16.750 --> 00:47:20.860
want to get your perspective on this. So you're kind
690
00:47:20.880 --> 00:47:24.199
of diving into, hey, life is a journey and there's
691
00:47:24.639 --> 00:47:27.139
all these different connections. But when you got into the
692
00:47:27.960 --> 00:47:31.340
very specific part of what we're talking about, which is
693
00:47:31.400 --> 00:47:34.050
the nervous system regulation and how you.
694
00:47:36.550 --> 00:47:41.630
You bring yourself back through breathing, through meditation, through visualizations,
695
00:47:41.710 --> 00:47:44.309
all kinds of techniques you have. And I'm going to
696
00:47:44.369 --> 00:47:47.869
nail you down before we get to the end and
697
00:47:47.889 --> 00:47:50.570
I'll have you give us the three biggies, right, that
698
00:47:50.610 --> 00:47:53.769
you do. I always do that with my guests because
699
00:47:53.789 --> 00:47:56.289
I like to have folks walk away with something. But
700
00:47:56.309 --> 00:47:59.030
one of the things that I found really important and
701
00:47:59.070 --> 00:48:03.469
I want your take on it is all these techniques
702
00:48:03.530 --> 00:48:06.909
are great, but if you don't know If you're not
703
00:48:06.969 --> 00:48:12.340
aware that you're off or something is out of regulation
704
00:48:12.679 --> 00:48:17.780
or whatever, your energy, your mind, your spirit, your body,
705
00:48:17.840 --> 00:48:21.079
whatever it is, if you're not aware of it, you
706
00:48:21.119 --> 00:48:24.469
don't act on it. It graduates, right, like you said,
707
00:48:24.550 --> 00:48:26.710
ultimately to something like cancer. And then you go, oh,
708
00:48:26.750 --> 00:48:29.150
I'm going to do something about it now, right? But
709
00:48:29.530 --> 00:48:31.909
a lot of it, you're just not aware. So I
710
00:48:31.949 --> 00:48:36.300
call that like training myself on the catch, right? I
711
00:48:36.340 --> 00:48:41.699
want to catch when I'm off, when I'm emotionally off,
712
00:48:41.800 --> 00:48:45.150
when I'm physically off, I want to be able to
713
00:48:45.190 --> 00:48:50.730
catch it. And then I want to become curious about that.
714
00:48:51.329 --> 00:48:55.170
I don't want to judge it or shame it or
715
00:48:55.269 --> 00:48:57.550
blame it because I found that if I go down
716
00:48:57.610 --> 00:49:01.710
that route, it just gets worse. So I want to
717
00:49:01.730 --> 00:49:06.010
get curious like a child, like you said, like a child, Like,
718
00:49:06.090 --> 00:49:08.989
what's going on here? Like, what is this about? So
719
00:49:09.590 --> 00:49:11.199
I want you to talk about that a little bit.
720
00:49:11.860 --> 00:49:18.750
Yeah. Well, when you say before about everything is connected, right?
721
00:49:18.769 --> 00:49:21.420
The trees, animals, and stuff. like that. They use it
722
00:49:21.500 --> 00:49:25.559
very strongly in Buddhism that respect all life and all
723
00:49:25.599 --> 00:49:29.150
life forms. So for me, I like the idea to
724
00:49:29.230 --> 00:49:35.230
say from we are energetic beings that come on earth
725
00:49:35.570 --> 00:49:40.820
to have a biological experience. Because as an energetic being,
726
00:49:40.980 --> 00:49:45.230
I cannot have the taste of chocolate, for example, right?
727
00:49:46.030 --> 00:49:50.030
So if you go like that, then it is about
728
00:49:51.570 --> 00:49:55.750
if we are energetic beings, and you can say that, right?
729
00:49:56.269 --> 00:49:58.739
Some people, they come in the room and everybody notices
730
00:49:58.760 --> 00:50:02.940
that the person is there without that the person is loud, right?
731
00:50:03.019 --> 00:50:05.199
He was not from, hey, how is everybody? No, no,
732
00:50:05.239 --> 00:50:07.590
he was just coming in and People would right away
733
00:50:07.630 --> 00:50:12.739
know from, oh, Jeffrey already arrived, right? For example. Some
734
00:50:12.800 --> 00:50:15.860
people not. You never get them noticed because the energy
735
00:50:16.119 --> 00:50:22.059
frequency is low. I told already from nutrition is actually
736
00:50:22.079 --> 00:50:27.519
a form of energy, how you supply your body. Qigong
737
00:50:27.719 --> 00:50:33.619
is in form of activating your energy lanes. Acupuncture is
738
00:50:33.699 --> 00:50:38.699
like taking the obstruction away. It is like road maintenance.
739
00:50:39.280 --> 00:50:43.599
If you have a highway with potholes, the traffic will
740
00:50:43.639 --> 00:50:47.610
slow down. Repair the potholes and the traffic will flow.
741
00:50:48.550 --> 00:50:51.889
So same with acupuncture, you take away. And it is
742
00:50:51.929 --> 00:50:55.369
funny that the needle, as long the energy didn't do
743
00:50:55.409 --> 00:51:00.869
the work yet, that the needle will not go out
744
00:51:01.250 --> 00:51:03.630
of the position. Then really the skin will hold it.
745
00:51:04.820 --> 00:51:07.010
And if it is done, then it goes out like
746
00:51:07.570 --> 00:51:14.369
soft butter. So if you do everything and get more
747
00:51:16.849 --> 00:51:22.369
in balance, I mean, for me, even a walk will
748
00:51:22.449 --> 00:51:26.639
regulate my nervous system. If you walk in a good
749
00:51:26.699 --> 00:51:31.380
environment that benefits your nervous system, like in a park
750
00:51:31.800 --> 00:51:35.710
surrounded by nature, And nature doesn't have to be in
751
00:51:35.730 --> 00:51:39.949
the forest. Just have it between some trees and that
752
00:51:42.010 --> 00:51:47.159
you get the energy from nature. Or you see the
753
00:51:47.199 --> 00:51:50.340
cows and they will give you a different energy level.
754
00:51:51.019 --> 00:51:57.719
You know, so everything to get your balance. And if
755
00:51:58.019 --> 00:52:03.530
people say, make it too big. Well, this week I had...
756
00:52:04.590 --> 00:52:09.389
from a company that provides milk, and I saw a
757
00:52:09.429 --> 00:52:13.769
high protein drink with no sugar. So now these days
758
00:52:13.829 --> 00:52:16.510
with AI, very simple, I make a picture from this
759
00:52:16.550 --> 00:52:21.900
product and AI tells me, okay, no sugar, but it
760
00:52:22.019 --> 00:52:29.119
uses some artificial sweeteners. So, okay, I'm not totally against everything,
761
00:52:29.239 --> 00:52:32.139
but then it would, for me, a limitation how many
762
00:52:32.639 --> 00:52:35.139
how regular I would take it. But it's also fun, well,
763
00:52:35.219 --> 00:52:39.139
this flavor and this one, how it is on the label,
764
00:52:39.739 --> 00:52:42.949
have no artificial, but okay, it was not there, so
765
00:52:43.030 --> 00:52:48.250
I take one. I drink the bottle and I was
766
00:52:48.309 --> 00:52:51.739
feeling a little bit heavy in the stomach because I'm
767
00:52:51.820 --> 00:52:58.119
not used with products that have artificial ingredients. I go
768
00:52:58.199 --> 00:53:01.050
for real whole food. If I want to have butter,
769
00:53:01.110 --> 00:53:03.469
I take real butter. I don't take some because then
770
00:53:03.489 --> 00:53:05.769
they will take something out and they put something else
771
00:53:05.849 --> 00:53:11.500
in so that you still have your flavor sensation. Yeah. Right?
772
00:53:11.539 --> 00:53:14.760
So I'm very tuned in and have more. And it is,
773
00:53:14.800 --> 00:53:17.599
of course, you learn it over time. So for me,
774
00:53:17.679 --> 00:53:24.960
I'm really fond how you teach like that. It is
775
00:53:25.039 --> 00:53:29.070
not about... that you go right away. So even in
776
00:53:29.110 --> 00:53:33.230
my coaching, then I help people to change step by
777
00:53:33.309 --> 00:53:37.400
step because you don't want to stress the system that
778
00:53:37.440 --> 00:53:42.000
you put so much more on your table to digest
779
00:53:42.639 --> 00:53:46.949
because you came to me to feel better and not
780
00:53:47.349 --> 00:53:52.849
more worse, right? So I always say with changing food habits,
781
00:53:52.889 --> 00:53:56.179
do one little thing at a time. If you make
782
00:53:56.300 --> 00:53:59.139
one change and after a week you feel like it
783
00:53:59.159 --> 00:54:03.760
was always there, then change the next part. I mean,
784
00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:07.239
I didn't come to a certain diet over time. When
785
00:54:07.300 --> 00:54:10.840
I was a teenager, I grew up with two white
786
00:54:10.929 --> 00:54:12.989
toasts and some sweet on it with a cup of
787
00:54:13.070 --> 00:54:15.949
coffee for my breakfast. And when I came in the
788
00:54:15.989 --> 00:54:17.909
gym environment and I say, hey, I want to pack
789
00:54:17.969 --> 00:54:22.909
up weight, muscle, well, you must eat like that. On
790
00:54:22.949 --> 00:54:26.039
my height, I would eat like 12, 14 slices of
791
00:54:26.199 --> 00:54:30.760
multigrain bread and 12 eggs and fruit and stuff like that, right?
792
00:54:31.039 --> 00:54:35.139
I was eating spread over the day 4,000 calories. That
793
00:54:35.199 --> 00:54:40.639
didn't change overnight. I did go from two multigrain bread
794
00:54:40.699 --> 00:54:44.079
with some sweet on it, and then I did cheese,
795
00:54:44.119 --> 00:54:48.099
and then I did extra eggs, and then more bread.
796
00:54:48.900 --> 00:54:52.809
You must adapt your body. You cannot just stuff it in.
797
00:54:54.639 --> 00:54:58.360
Because your body cannot handle. That's why all the eating contests,
798
00:54:58.420 --> 00:55:01.380
like stocking in as much as possible eggs or hot
799
00:55:01.400 --> 00:55:05.820
dogs in 10 minutes time. 10 minutes is the limit.
800
00:55:05.949 --> 00:55:09.230
On that moment, your body starts to respond. And then
801
00:55:09.269 --> 00:55:12.130
they cannot swallow it anymore. The body will protect itself.
802
00:55:13.650 --> 00:55:18.409
That's why there's a 10 minute range. So with everything,
803
00:55:18.449 --> 00:55:22.730
you must really adapt. People with meditation, if you never
804
00:55:22.829 --> 00:55:27.409
did it, in a conscious way, I see my workout
805
00:55:27.769 --> 00:55:32.610
more or less as a kind of meditation. I'm busy
806
00:55:32.650 --> 00:55:35.570
with my workout, I'm busy with the weights, I am
807
00:55:35.630 --> 00:55:39.300
busy with things related to my workout in the gym.
808
00:55:39.480 --> 00:55:42.059
I don't talk about my business, I don't talk about
809
00:55:42.579 --> 00:55:47.639
problems or whatever. So you set your mind for the nice,
810
00:55:47.739 --> 00:55:53.260
pleasant time. But it was also, it was taking time
811
00:55:53.320 --> 00:55:57.659
to come to that level. So even when I feel
812
00:55:57.699 --> 00:56:00.989
stress in the past, when I had a breakup of
813
00:56:01.030 --> 00:56:08.250
a relation, the gym workout was my savior. Because the
814
00:56:08.289 --> 00:56:12.699
weight don't care what is in your mind. You bring
815
00:56:12.739 --> 00:56:16.639
it up or stay like a bench press. The weight
816
00:56:16.659 --> 00:56:18.989
that you put on the bar... you go down and
817
00:56:19.030 --> 00:56:21.269
bring it up or stay down and you hope that
818
00:56:21.309 --> 00:56:25.239
someone is close by to lift it up. So you
819
00:56:25.260 --> 00:56:30.619
better have your mind just on moving the weight. And
820
00:56:30.699 --> 00:56:33.239
that gives you this distraction that you are not busy
821
00:56:33.300 --> 00:56:38.199
with your problems, what give you other things. And then
822
00:56:38.219 --> 00:56:41.199
you can also see if you have too much troubles
823
00:56:41.949 --> 00:56:45.829
that you occupy yourself with in your mind, then it
824
00:56:45.889 --> 00:56:53.010
will have effect on your metabolic well-being. So it is
825
00:56:53.269 --> 00:56:56.889
all connected. That's why I say body, mind, and spirit.
826
00:56:58.550 --> 00:57:00.769
Take care of your spirit, take care of your mind,
827
00:57:01.170 --> 00:57:03.679
and take care of your body. And your body is
828
00:57:03.739 --> 00:57:08.340
by having physical activities and the right nutrition.
829
00:57:09.480 --> 00:57:14.820
Now, over all the years, what for you kind of,
830
00:57:15.610 --> 00:57:20.619
I mean, From the get-go, were you conscious of all
831
00:57:20.659 --> 00:57:24.510
three aspects? Or was there one aspect that kind of
832
00:57:26.250 --> 00:57:28.889
evolved over time? Like in my case, it was definitely
833
00:57:29.829 --> 00:57:34.829
the spirit side of things that kind of came last
834
00:57:34.869 --> 00:57:35.309
for me.
835
00:57:36.329 --> 00:57:36.510
Yeah.
836
00:57:37.909 --> 00:57:38.110
Same.
837
00:57:39.829 --> 00:57:43.659
Of course, it was always lingering around. But if you
838
00:57:43.679 --> 00:57:48.030
are too occupied with other things, then you push it aside.
839
00:57:48.829 --> 00:57:53.590
And a very nice thing that is, uh, I'm now
840
00:57:53.670 --> 00:57:59.679
very aware that my clear sentience and clear cognitive are
841
00:57:59.760 --> 00:58:05.539
very strong. Uh, until I was following a quest on
842
00:58:05.599 --> 00:58:09.179
mind Valley, uh, for life, uh, I did my teaching
843
00:58:09.199 --> 00:58:13.099
for life coaching also dead. Yeah. And in the teaching,
844
00:58:13.119 --> 00:58:16.659
they talk about that. So I had to, uh, Uh,
845
00:58:16.880 --> 00:58:19.960
check the meaning from these words. And then even in
846
00:58:20.019 --> 00:58:22.320
a Dutch translation, I was a little bit confused what
847
00:58:22.360 --> 00:58:27.820
it actually said. But then, uh, with some conversations, I
848
00:58:27.889 --> 00:58:32.010
find out that I had it my whole life. Only
849
00:58:32.030 --> 00:58:37.309
I was not busy with that. So I didn't give
850
00:58:37.369 --> 00:58:42.010
attention to it because I was busy with other things.
851
00:58:42.210 --> 00:58:45.389
I was giving more importance to other things in my life. Yeah.
852
00:58:45.730 --> 00:58:50.530
So slowly I find the balance over the less, I
853
00:58:52.300 --> 00:58:56.079
think living in Asia, I give a more easy way
854
00:58:56.139 --> 00:59:00.539
to find a balance then back home in the Netherlands.
855
00:59:02.559 --> 00:59:03.360
And that makes sense.
856
00:59:06.179 --> 00:59:08.340
It doesn't mean that in the Western world, you cannot
857
00:59:08.429 --> 00:59:11.699
find a balance. You just need to be more conscious
858
00:59:11.739 --> 00:59:15.239
about your, about your life. So I'm also a six
859
00:59:15.280 --> 00:59:21.099
phase meditation teacher. And in the six phase, then, then
860
00:59:21.119 --> 00:59:26.440
you start. So phase one is that you visualize love and,
861
00:59:29.590 --> 00:59:35.210
And then give it a color. And then expand this light.
862
00:59:36.630 --> 00:59:39.519
First over your body, then over your room, then over
863
00:59:39.559 --> 00:59:43.679
your house, the whole building, your whole neighborhood. And you
864
00:59:43.719 --> 00:59:46.099
know where I go until I go to the whole globe.
865
00:59:48.159 --> 00:59:55.329
So I radiate this energy, this frequency of love. And
866
00:59:55.349 --> 01:00:00.610
you would think, what happened? People approach you in the
867
01:00:00.670 --> 01:00:05.030
same way as what you radiate, right? So that's why
868
01:00:05.050 --> 01:00:07.329
I always say what you give attention to is what
869
01:00:07.369 --> 01:00:12.869
you attract. Your energy field is like a magnet. What
870
01:00:12.909 --> 01:00:14.250
you radiate is what you get back.
871
01:00:17.469 --> 01:00:21.380
Amen to that. Well, here's coming in for, as I
872
01:00:21.389 --> 01:00:23.550
always say, we come in and we land the plane.
873
01:00:24.219 --> 01:00:26.219
So we're coming down to the end here of our,
874
01:00:27.030 --> 01:00:32.070
Wonderful time together, Tommy. Thank you so much. So I'd
875
01:00:32.130 --> 01:00:37.139
imagine there are many people listening to this show that
876
01:00:37.179 --> 01:00:43.739
are probably in that fight, flight, or fear, you know, response.
877
01:00:45.099 --> 01:00:49.579
They just feel maybe overwhelmed. That could be any aspect
878
01:00:49.619 --> 01:00:51.599
of their life. It could be a relationship. It could
879
01:00:51.639 --> 01:00:55.739
be finances. It could be, you know. Like my daughter
880
01:00:55.880 --> 01:00:58.300
is raising three kids and her husband went on a
881
01:00:58.360 --> 01:01:00.760
fishing trip and she had the three kids by herself
882
01:01:00.860 --> 01:01:04.400
and she's trying to do her job. And, you know,
883
01:01:04.960 --> 01:01:08.039
poor girl, you know, her day, her week wasn't, her
884
01:01:08.059 --> 01:01:10.920
day wasn't going well, her week wasn't going well. I
885
01:01:10.960 --> 01:01:15.960
had to run up emergency coffee for her from one day. But,
886
01:01:16.139 --> 01:01:20.260
you know, that, that happens to everybody in different phases
887
01:01:20.320 --> 01:01:23.000
of life. So I'm going to, I'm going to hand
888
01:01:23.039 --> 01:01:28.949
it to you and say, give them, Three things that
889
01:01:28.989 --> 01:01:35.280
they can put in their toolkit, like today, for they
890
01:01:35.300 --> 01:01:39.840
can step out of that cloud, that fear cloud. They
891
01:01:39.880 --> 01:01:43.500
know now, right? I don't know if people know the
892
01:01:43.550 --> 01:01:49.349
term vagus nerve, but when you get overwhelmed like that,
893
01:01:50.289 --> 01:01:53.769
that vagus nerve, and it has with me even, can
894
01:01:53.809 --> 01:01:56.030
shut your entire body down it can shut your whole
895
01:01:56.110 --> 01:01:59.829
system down um you know it actually i blacked out
896
01:01:59.889 --> 01:02:04.510
because they said so um you know overstress whatever it
897
01:02:04.659 --> 01:02:06.719
is it could be physical in my case it was
898
01:02:07.480 --> 01:02:10.619
it was heat i had a little bit of alcohol
899
01:02:11.199 --> 01:02:16.300
didn't have enough water i was exerting myself and then
900
01:02:16.840 --> 01:02:19.260
i just blacked out they said that was the biggest
901
01:02:19.320 --> 01:02:23.659
nerve response it protects your system So, but anyway, for
902
01:02:23.679 --> 01:02:26.219
the everyday folks throughout, they're just stressed out. Give them,
903
01:02:26.489 --> 01:02:28.969
give them three things to walk away with today.
904
01:02:30.130 --> 01:02:36.849
Yeah, I will give. So let me say it like this.
905
01:02:37.389 --> 01:02:43.000
I would invite everybody to stop trying to become someone.
906
01:02:43.300 --> 01:02:50.099
They are not slow down. Give you time to get quiet.
907
01:02:52.590 --> 01:02:56.969
Give yourself time to learn to feel safe in your
908
01:02:57.050 --> 01:03:05.309
own body. Right? Because beneath all the noise and all
909
01:03:05.329 --> 01:03:10.719
your expectations and all the roles that we are taking on,
910
01:03:12.920 --> 01:03:16.780
there's already something that we know. But you need to
911
01:03:16.820 --> 01:03:20.500
slow down so that it has time to come up.
912
01:03:21.550 --> 01:03:26.949
You need to find yourself. You need to create enough space.
913
01:03:27.050 --> 01:03:31.809
So what I already say, the five times five breathing, right?
914
01:03:31.909 --> 01:03:36.690
Five in, five hold, five out, five hold, and then
915
01:03:36.789 --> 01:03:40.449
in again, and then five rounds of that. Take a
916
01:03:40.489 --> 01:03:46.809
moment to close your eyes. And then remembering begins with
917
01:03:46.889 --> 01:03:51.070
the breath. When you learn to breathe and follow your breath,
918
01:03:52.880 --> 01:03:56.880
things start to happen in your mind. And if you
919
01:03:56.900 --> 01:04:00.820
get fully present in this little moment, it can start
920
01:04:00.840 --> 01:04:07.150
with a couple minutes. And that is how you come
921
01:04:07.210 --> 01:04:13.769
back to yourself. I always say your body is waiting
922
01:04:13.829 --> 01:04:21.039
for you. And that is to me, It is the
923
01:04:21.079 --> 01:04:27.929
beginning of true biological sovereignty. So the breath, being present,
924
01:04:29.409 --> 01:04:32.329
and coming to yourself. And it can start with a
925
01:04:32.389 --> 01:04:37.469
couple minutes per day. And if people want to get
926
01:04:37.550 --> 01:04:41.130
a little bit more, while you see my QR code,
927
01:04:41.170 --> 01:04:44.170
then they connect to my linking and they can message
928
01:04:44.210 --> 01:04:47.409
me if they have something. And don't worry, it is
929
01:04:47.449 --> 01:04:51.969
not all about paying. A little question. I give you
930
01:04:52.989 --> 01:04:58.719
my point where you can go in your journey. If
931
01:04:58.760 --> 01:05:00.320
that helps and then you think, oh, I want to
932
01:05:00.340 --> 01:05:03.719
know more, then you make another step. But don't worry.
933
01:05:04.119 --> 01:05:07.800
Tommy Diependaal, I'm also on Facebook. Just connect to me,
934
01:05:07.960 --> 01:05:14.329
ask something for you specifically because these are general rules
935
01:05:14.750 --> 01:05:17.829
that I teach. But sometimes it can be a little
936
01:05:17.909 --> 01:05:19.650
tweak to make it more personal for you.
937
01:05:21.210 --> 01:05:23.369
That's awesome. Well, yeah, I was going to turn it
938
01:05:23.409 --> 01:05:26.349
over to you to pitch it. So does that QR
939
01:05:26.389 --> 01:05:28.030
code take them to your website?
940
01:05:28.929 --> 01:05:32.409
Yeah, and then I can send them a link for
941
01:05:32.610 --> 01:05:35.699
one of my e-books that go really deep in it,
942
01:05:35.800 --> 01:05:38.559
and that will help already. Oh, that's awesome. Even a
943
01:05:38.579 --> 01:05:42.900
30-day plan in it, that will help them. Just connect
944
01:05:43.000 --> 01:05:47.300
and you go from there. There are some free resources,
945
01:05:47.579 --> 01:05:50.969
and of course, if you want to go deeper, then
946
01:05:51.010 --> 01:05:53.550
it start to coaching or mentoring but there are free
947
01:05:53.590 --> 01:05:57.809
resources also and you will well you check it already
948
01:05:57.849 --> 01:06:01.329
you will see a lot of my posting and maybe
949
01:06:01.349 --> 01:06:04.090
that already helped just to read and go to my
950
01:06:04.150 --> 01:06:06.510
posting where I talk about different subjects and then you
951
01:06:06.550 --> 01:06:10.050
think hey that relate pretty much to me where I'm
952
01:06:10.130 --> 01:06:13.559
on the moment troubling which that is one little thing
953
01:06:13.579 --> 01:06:14.920
that I can change today.
954
01:06:14.639 --> 01:06:18.800
That's awesome Well, that's what folks, if you're having a
955
01:06:18.820 --> 01:06:20.320
bad day, stressing out.
956
01:06:21.099 --> 01:06:25.659
Tommy says breathe. Breathe, baby.
957
01:06:25.739 --> 01:06:28.920
As frustrating as that can be, I don't want to breathe.
958
01:06:30.400 --> 01:06:31.119
Well, then you die.
959
01:06:31.579 --> 01:06:32.179
That's right.
960
01:06:33.219 --> 01:06:33.969
Then you die.
961
01:06:34.010 --> 01:06:38.730
But some people get so worked up. That's why I
962
01:06:38.769 --> 01:06:43.250
call it the catch because sometimes when you're overwhelmed, it's
963
01:06:43.309 --> 01:06:46.969
so hard to hear. It's so hard to see. It's
964
01:06:46.989 --> 01:06:50.389
so hard that, you know, you need something. You need
965
01:06:50.489 --> 01:06:53.690
someone many times to tell you, hey, snap out of it.
966
01:06:53.760 --> 01:06:56.059
This is not you.
967
01:06:57.159 --> 01:06:59.619
This breathing you can do while you sit on the computer, right?
968
01:06:59.639 --> 01:07:02.760
While you're working and you have just a minute. You
969
01:07:02.820 --> 01:07:04.820
don't even have to close your eye. You just look
970
01:07:04.840 --> 01:07:07.800
to a point in the distance. You gaze more or
971
01:07:07.840 --> 01:07:14.710
less and breathe in, hold it out. Be present with
972
01:07:14.750 --> 01:07:17.300
the moment that you breath. And that take a couple
973
01:07:17.320 --> 01:07:20.059
of minutes and you're back to your work and you
974
01:07:20.099 --> 01:07:22.559
will feel how it changed. You don't have to limit
975
01:07:22.579 --> 01:07:24.800
it to once a day. You can do it whenever
976
01:07:24.860 --> 01:07:27.400
you feel the need to it. Everybody have time for
977
01:07:27.420 --> 01:07:28.920
the minute or two minutes.
978
01:07:29.579 --> 01:07:30.340
Oh, absolutely.
979
01:07:30.599 --> 01:07:31.460
Yeah. Yeah.
980
01:07:31.659 --> 01:07:34.590
We try to tell us we don't, but you know,
981
01:07:34.630 --> 01:07:37.630
that's like I said, mine's, you know, my go-to is prayer.
982
01:07:38.489 --> 01:07:43.030
Same thing, you know, it's just a disconnect and to
983
01:07:43.449 --> 01:07:46.889
just step away. And I always say when I know
984
01:07:46.949 --> 01:07:51.929
that moment, one thing I do, Tommy, is first thing
985
01:07:52.030 --> 01:07:55.369
I do is I express gratitude. Because the thing for
986
01:07:55.409 --> 01:07:58.550
me to flip frustration is gratitude. So I always say,
987
01:07:58.630 --> 01:08:03.119
thank you, God, showing me that I'm not in a
988
01:08:03.159 --> 01:08:06.119
good place right now. Thank you so much. And then
989
01:08:06.159 --> 01:08:09.599
I pray about it. So I think it's very similar
990
01:08:09.639 --> 01:08:12.659
to what you're talking about. It's just like start breathing.
991
01:08:13.699 --> 01:08:16.359
cut that cord a little bit, be present with yourself,
992
01:08:17.210 --> 01:08:20.510
and stop defining yourself by all these things you have
993
01:08:20.569 --> 01:08:21.029
to do.
994
01:08:22.470 --> 01:08:26.850
In the six-phase meditation, what I teach, so the first
995
01:08:26.930 --> 01:08:34.859
one is empathy, love. The second part is forgiveness. You
996
01:08:34.880 --> 01:08:37.789
can forgive people. It doesn't mean that you forget about it,
997
01:08:39.140 --> 01:08:41.600
but don't let it hang on you. It takes your
998
01:08:41.659 --> 01:08:47.220
energy away. Yeah. And then be grateful for, you can
999
01:08:47.260 --> 01:08:50.390
be grateful for that you had time to enjoy your
1000
01:08:50.439 --> 01:08:53.689
morning coffee in a relaxed way. It doesn't have to
1001
01:08:53.729 --> 01:08:56.710
be something big. But if you learn to be grateful
1002
01:08:56.770 --> 01:09:01.699
from little things in life, see how you change.
1003
01:09:03.520 --> 01:09:09.500
Yeah yeah definitely forgiveness is a big one I always
1004
01:09:09.520 --> 01:09:11.439
thought it was humorous I know I shared this with
1005
01:09:11.479 --> 01:09:13.279
you when we were talking we are wrapping up here
1006
01:09:13.319 --> 01:09:16.989
but in the Buddhist you know the stages of the
1007
01:09:17.029 --> 01:09:20.890
Buddha right to get to enlightenment, like the last one
1008
01:09:22.670 --> 01:09:28.399
is basically the forgiveness, the pain. You know, you go
1009
01:09:28.420 --> 01:09:30.560
through all the different stages and you get to that
1010
01:09:30.680 --> 01:09:32.560
one and it's like, okay, now you really got to
1011
01:09:32.600 --> 01:09:37.779
face the, we call it in Christianity, the demon, right?
1012
01:09:38.930 --> 01:09:42.270
You know, you got to face all your, whatever you're
1013
01:09:42.310 --> 01:09:44.329
holding on to and you got to let go of it, right?
1014
01:09:44.470 --> 01:09:50.840
That's forgiving you, forgiving God, anyone in your life. But
1015
01:09:50.859 --> 01:09:53.680
I always thought that when I read that for the
1016
01:09:53.720 --> 01:09:57.560
first time, I thought, wow, that's very Christian. You know,
1017
01:09:57.590 --> 01:10:02.770
so I had the, like, that's the ultimate. That's why
1018
01:10:02.810 --> 01:10:05.829
Jesus came, right? To give us forgiveness.
1019
01:10:07.149 --> 01:10:09.689
I think from when you already talk about the language
1020
01:10:09.989 --> 01:10:15.090
and how that changed probably a couple thousand years ago,
1021
01:10:15.229 --> 01:10:20.140
all these teachings changed. let's say it like that, all
1022
01:10:20.180 --> 01:10:25.659
these teachings were much more connected than now. For sure,
1023
01:10:25.680 --> 01:10:29.329
in Christianity, how many times they take out some stories,
1024
01:10:29.369 --> 01:10:34.729
they edited different wording. The Gospel of Thomas, I'm very
1025
01:10:34.949 --> 01:10:35.770
familiar from.
1026
01:10:36.310 --> 01:10:37.390
From Greg, yeah.
1027
01:10:37.729 --> 01:10:44.300
Yeah, how it changed the wording from how you... Same
1028
01:10:44.399 --> 01:10:47.560
in Buddhism, yeah. how you back for something or how
1029
01:10:47.600 --> 01:10:51.960
you just demand it. Yeah. Right. Don't be a beggar.
1030
01:10:52.600 --> 01:10:55.920
Just say that you get me for it.
1031
01:10:56.760 --> 01:10:57.039
Yeah.
1032
01:10:57.239 --> 01:10:57.680
Yeah. Yeah.
1033
01:10:58.439 --> 01:11:01.460
Well, bless you, my friend. It's been great connecting and
1034
01:11:02.479 --> 01:11:06.010
telling the stories. And I hope, uh, folks could, you know,
1035
01:11:06.050 --> 01:11:07.850
walk away with a couple of things that, you know,
1036
01:11:08.310 --> 01:11:14.119
lifts your life up a little bit, connect with Tommy and, uh,
1037
01:11:14.699 --> 01:11:18.579
You know, especially if you're dealing with some big life shifts,
1038
01:11:19.439 --> 01:11:22.640
Tommy can help walk you through that. So much gratitude
1039
01:11:22.899 --> 01:11:25.850
to you. And I look forward to hopefully we'll connect
1040
01:11:25.890 --> 01:11:26.449
again soon.
1041
01:11:26.689 --> 01:11:30.369
Yeah. Yeah, man. I loved the conversation. Same as our
1042
01:11:30.409 --> 01:11:34.130
first conversation. I had a good feeling afterwards. And, well,
1043
01:11:34.149 --> 01:11:36.970
in this case, most important, I hope that your audience
1044
01:11:36.989 --> 01:11:39.689
did love the conversation, that they did get out something.
1045
01:11:40.170 --> 01:11:44.350
And if they did get out something, start implementing it. Yeah.
1046
01:11:44.859 --> 01:11:47.609
Don't take just more knowledge and don't do nothing with it.
1047
01:11:47.619 --> 01:11:51.710
Yeah, amen to that. Well, thank you. Thank you, Tommy.
1048
01:11:51.750 --> 01:11:52.350
Thank you so much.