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00:00:11.919Welcome to the Group Tech Goes Live, Slightly Salty Edition, where your three favorite troublemakers turn the chaos of the group text into a full-blown weekly show.
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00:00:17.280We're talking real life, real opinions, and just enough sense to keep things interesting.
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00:00:19.440No filters, no perfection.
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00:00:26.079Just three women with big personalities, bold stories, and a habit of saying the quiet parts out loud.
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00:00:29.120So grab your drink, brace yourself, and join us.
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00:00:33.520Because the group chat didn't just spill the tea, it went live.
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00:00:36.960All right, welcome back to another episode.
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00:00:40.000And today we're gonna talk about the friend code.
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00:00:40.799Yes.
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00:00:44.880So Liana, what what fun questions do you have for us?
00:00:45.520 -->
00:00:53.439So what I came up with was the rules that I think every friend group has that's kind of unwritten.
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00:00:56.719Like, when do you tell your friend stuff, or when do you not?
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00:00:58.000When do you keep it to yourself?
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00:00:59.280When do you intervene?
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00:01:05.280So, um you know I love round robin questions, so we have different round robin questions.
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00:01:10.560First one is your best friend's husband is cheating.
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00:01:14.640You know for a fact, do you tell her yes or no?
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00:01:26.400Let's say good friend, because if it's our best friend, like if it's one of the three of you guys, I'm gonna go to jail because someone's getting I was gonna say there's gonna be some there's gonna be a phone call and meet me here.
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00:01:30.239Yeah, so let's take out best friend and go with good friend.
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00:01:34.400Okay, I still feel like if it was a good friend, I probably would.
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00:01:44.480If it's a best friend, I'm gonna have footage of it, and I'm gonna be be like, hey, we gotta talk, and then you're gonna have the footage evidence.
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00:01:48.560Yes, and I'm gonna be like, Do you want me to meet you and have this discussion?
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00:01:50.000And we'll back you up.
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00:01:53.840If it's a good friend, I still feel like I probably would.
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00:01:55.439Now, can I just say this?
00:01:55.599 -->
00:01:59.920The only thing I'll say with that is what if they're in an open relationship and you don't know that?
00:02:00.159 -->
00:02:00.959You know what I mean?
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00:02:04.400Like, people do have open marriages and it's not like they broadcast it.
00:02:04.560 -->
00:02:06.879I think if they're your good friend, you would know that.
00:02:07.359 -->
00:02:07.920You think so?
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00:02:15.520Do you think good friends would share that they're in an open marriage?
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00:02:26.080I well, I don't have any friends that are in an open marriage, but I do have that you know of that I know of, but I do have friends that do things, life, stuff.
00:02:26.240 -->
00:02:27.039I mean, I don't know.
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00:02:28.960And you just know when you're around them.
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00:02:30.800Like, I don't know.
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00:02:33.360Like, what I think you would know.
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00:02:34.960So you would have signs.
00:02:35.120 -->
00:02:37.439I would think your radar would go off.
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00:02:42.400I would give the guy an option, I would make it awkward.
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00:02:45.439I would go up to him and be like, hey, John, how's it going?
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00:02:49.759And then he knows that I know that I'm seeing the situation.
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00:02:54.000That's and then give him time to tell her that's doing.
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00:02:54.879Do what?
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00:02:58.960I said, and then would he be like, hey, how is such and such doing?
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00:03:00.479I haven't seen her this week.
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00:03:02.159I would make it so awkward.
00:03:02.319 -->
00:03:02.879I totally would.
00:03:02.960 -->
00:03:04.960I'd be like, hey, so where's Jenny?
00:03:05.520 -->
00:03:09.599And then look, like I would make I'm that person that would make it awkward.
00:03:10.319 -->
00:03:10.879I don't know.
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00:03:13.680Would you tell you would you tell the friend?
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00:03:17.759Yeah.
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00:03:20.000I don't know.
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00:03:26.240I guess, but I don't know, like it's not my business.
00:03:26.479 -->
00:03:28.960I would I would tell them and then not judge.
00:03:29.520 -->
00:03:37.280Or I would be like, hey, I ran into Johnny at Red Robin and he was sitting with some chick, and then just leave it at that.
00:03:37.360 -->
00:03:41.360I wouldn't be like, hey, I think he's cheating.
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00:03:44.800Like I let her do her own investigation.
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00:03:51.120Yeah, but then what if they find out and then come back and be like, Did you know this?
00:03:51.280 -->
00:03:52.879Then you have to lie to your friend.
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00:03:54.560See, that's why I would say something.
00:03:54.639 -->
00:03:58.159I would be like, hey, I saw so-and-so doing such and such.
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00:04:02.960If you saw it, what if you didn't see it?
00:04:03.039 -->
00:04:04.319How would you then I don't know?
00:04:04.560 -->
00:04:10.319Like you know, no that they're having an affair because someone told somebody, or you have to actually see it.
00:04:10.560 -->
00:04:11.680Then that's gossip.
00:04:11.840 -->
00:04:16.480Unless I see it myself, I would say, hey, rumor has it.
00:04:16.639 -->
00:04:19.279I'm not trying to get involved, but I just think you should know.
00:04:19.519 -->
00:04:22.800The rumor going around is that such and such is happening.
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00:04:25.920If I see it, then I'll say something.
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00:04:27.680Yeah, I feel like that's different.
00:04:27.759 -->
00:04:33.759I feel like if it was hearsay, I probably wouldn't say anything just because I'm like, it's not my business, and I don't know who said what.
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00:04:39.360If I saw it, then I feel like I like your approach better.
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00:04:44.079I'm a little sometimes too blunt, so I probably should tone that down.
00:04:44.480 -->
00:04:49.040But or just be calling me, like, hey, how's the marriage going?
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00:04:49.839All good?
00:04:50.000 -->
00:04:51.839Are we good in the marriage right now?
00:04:52.240 -->
00:04:53.360Be really good.
00:04:53.759 -->
00:04:54.720And that'd be like, Why?
00:04:54.879 -->
00:04:55.920I'd be like, I don't know.
00:04:56.079 -->
00:05:01.439I saw John at you know, Red Robin, and it wasn't you, so just making sure.
00:05:01.600 -->
00:05:02.639I think I would throw it out.
00:05:02.800 -->
00:05:09.839Yeah, but I think I have waves because if I saw John at Red Robin, I would I don't know why we're picking Red Rob Robin.
00:05:09.920 -->
00:05:10.879I can't even say it.
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00:05:20.879But if I saw John at wherever, and and uh was one of my friend's husbands, I would just walk up to the table and just look at him.
00:05:23.040 -->
00:05:35.920But see, so Jeff and I actually had this conversation before where he would, when he was working at the PD, he and a friend, which I knew about, went and had Chipotle at lunch, right?
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00:05:37.439He's like a girl.
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00:05:38.240Yep.
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00:05:40.720So and so and I were on a call.
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00:05:43.519We just finished up, we're gonna grab something at Chipotle.
00:05:43.839 -->
00:05:44.800Do you want anything?
00:05:44.959 -->
00:05:47.120Now he was completely transparent with me.
00:05:47.279 -->
00:05:49.120I knew he was there, right?
00:05:49.199 -->
00:05:55.839There's like no, but there's a difference because we do a lot of networking and we do a lot of one-to-ones with people.
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00:06:03.680And I've done a lot of one-to-ones with men because they also own businesses and I don't just network with women.
00:06:04.000 -->
00:06:08.319So I have gone to lunch, to coffee, to happy.
00:06:08.560 -->
00:06:11.040Like I've, I mean, Brian always knows where I am.
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00:06:29.519My mom locator, he knows what I'm doing, but I also am really, really careful about how I position myself when I'm doing a one-to-one with a man because I don't want anybody to walk in and mistake, you know, that it is very obvious that we're having a business type of meeting.
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00:06:30.160Yeah.
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00:06:37.439That's like as much as I can make it that way, because I would never want somebody else to walk in and assume something.
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00:06:38.079Right.
00:06:38.319 -->
00:06:42.560But as small as this town is, like as big as it is, it's super small, right?
00:06:42.800 -->
00:06:46.160So Jeff and I actually had that conversation of what is the perception?
00:06:46.319 -->
00:06:48.319I know what's going on, he knows what's going on.
00:06:48.399 -->
00:06:51.519We're friends with this lady's like nothing, there was no question.
00:06:51.759 -->
00:06:58.000But it that's why if I saw something, I would say, Hey, this is what I saw.
00:06:58.079 -->
00:07:04.399I have no idea what's happening, because it could just be an innocent, yeah, that's actually his cousin.
00:07:04.560 -->
00:07:05.600She's in from out of town.
00:07:05.680 -->
00:07:06.240I knew about it.
00:07:06.319 -->
00:07:08.160Now I look stupid, right?
00:07:08.399 -->
00:07:10.319But I still say something.
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00:07:20.959No, I feel like I wouldn't say anything unless I thought them like they were holding hands, kissing me, like just eating, because it's seemed like lots of one-to-ones and that.
00:07:21.120 -->
00:07:22.160I wouldn't think anything of it.
00:07:22.240 -->
00:07:27.839It's like if you looked a little too close, now through the entire lunch, would I be paying attention to whoever I was with?
00:07:28.000 -->
00:07:32.959No, like I would have like my binoculars on to be like, who is this person?
00:07:33.040 -->
00:07:34.560How close are they sitting?
00:07:34.800 -->
00:07:35.680That type of thing.
00:07:35.759 -->
00:07:41.199But I wouldn't say anything if they were, I just saw a husband at a restaurant.
00:07:41.360 -->
00:07:46.480I wouldn't get anything of that part, but if they were getting close, then my radar would go off.
00:07:46.639 -->
00:07:47.040Yeah.
00:07:47.680 -->
00:07:48.000Yeah.
00:07:48.240 -->
00:07:48.560Okay.
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00:07:49.839Question two.
00:07:50.800 -->
00:07:53.600Ooh, the unattractive boyfriend.
00:07:53.759 -->
00:07:56.319If your friend said asks you, do you like him?
00:07:56.399 -->
00:08:03.120And you absolutely do not, do you tell her the truth, or do you smile and say, if you're happy, I'm happy?
00:08:04.720 -->
00:08:07.360If you're happy, I'm happy is the same as no.
00:08:09.680 -->
00:08:14.800With girls, it's either yes, yes, or anything else is no.
00:08:16.720 -->
00:08:19.600But if you don't like him, what do you say?
00:08:24.399 -->
00:08:24.959Right?
00:08:25.600 -->
00:08:26.720I don't say anything.
00:08:26.959 -->
00:08:41.120And I'm gonna say this because over the years, sometimes friends have been with people where I was like, wow, that guy's an ass or something, but they really are love him, or you know, and really is ends up being a really great relationship.
00:08:41.279 -->
00:08:48.960And so I feel like just because it's not my cup of tea, doesn't feel as if you're talking from experience.
00:08:50.159 -->
00:08:57.679I'm just saying that, you know, we all have different preferences of who we date.
00:08:57.840 -->
00:09:01.360And I feel like that's sometimes we have to give people some time.
00:09:01.759 -->
00:09:05.039Yeah, sometimes people have to, you know, they surprise you later.
00:09:05.200 -->
00:09:11.759But I would not say that just because I mean, obviously, I feel like that analysis is just like when I show houses.
00:09:11.919 -->
00:09:17.519Like sometimes I'm when I would first start doing real estate, I walk in, I'd be like, man, that is ugly carpet, or look at that wallpaper.
00:09:17.600 -->
00:09:21.759But then the another, you know, and I walk in, the client's like, man, I love this.
00:09:22.000 -->
00:09:23.279So I learned easy on.
00:09:23.440 -->
00:09:26.240Like, I just don't give my opinion if someone else is happy.
00:09:26.799 -->
00:09:37.519If someone straight up asked me, I don't think I would lie, but I would find a very nice way to not let it be like I can't stand that.
00:09:37.840 -->
00:09:41.120How do you say your opinion though that way?
00:09:42.320 -->
00:09:51.039I would say, like, you seem super happy, he seems to be really good to you, or you seem really happy.
00:09:51.200 -->
00:09:54.480It's it makes me a little concerned that he's not really kind to you.
00:09:54.559 -->
00:10:02.159Like, I would bring up a concern if it's a major red flag, if he's unkind, or I did see him at the red robin holding hands.
00:10:02.559 -->
00:10:03.519Or red robin.
00:10:03.679 -->
00:10:04.080Or red.
00:10:04.639 -->
00:10:07.279We are not getting sponsored by red robin at this point.
00:10:07.759 -->
00:10:10.960But, anyways, no, I would say you seem happy.
00:10:11.120 -->
00:10:19.759Like, I would try and affirm that person, but I don't there's been so many times.
00:10:19.919 -->
00:10:20.960I don't like many people.
00:10:21.120 -->
00:10:21.840We all know this.
00:10:22.000 -->
00:10:44.639I don't like maybe that's how I would I'll say the hard part of that is if it's good friends, and this is experience in the past, but I have no issue in a group setting if a spouse, it could be male or female, says something that I think is inappropriate or harsh to the other, and they are my friend, I have no issue calling that out.
00:10:44.879 -->
00:10:46.639And so I I don't have a filter on that.
00:10:46.799 -->
00:10:56.159Like if I feel like someone's disrespecting his girlfriend, wife, whatever, I have been known to be like, hey, hey, like I don't feel like that was very appropriate.
00:10:56.240 -->
00:10:57.519She does XYZ for you.
00:10:57.600 -->
00:11:00.639So I feel there is a fine line, and now I have offended Pete.
00:11:00.720 -->
00:11:08.000I have even offended the friend that she didn't think I needed to say that, but I feel like sometimes I I don't have a filter on that.
00:11:08.080 -->
00:11:17.440If I hear something, I have a hard time finding my I would be so embarrassed if my person got called out for being disrespectful to me.
00:11:17.519 -->
00:11:20.879Like I would be embarrassed as you know what I mean?
00:11:20.960 -->
00:11:22.799Like Yeah.
00:11:25.120 -->
00:11:27.440Let's just all just pick people that we all like.
00:11:27.759 -->
00:11:35.679That would be your friend tells you something deeply personal and says you can't tell anyone.
00:11:36.080 -->
00:11:40.240Later you discover that keeping the secret could seriously hurt someone she loves.
00:11:40.559 -->
00:11:45.039Do you keep your mouth shut because she trusted you or break confidence because someone else could get hurt?
00:11:46.879 -->
00:11:48.399It's gonna hurt my friend.
00:11:49.200 -->
00:11:49.679Yeah.
00:11:53.840 -->
00:11:55.120It's gonna hurt another friend.
00:11:55.200 -->
00:11:58.000So this friend I'm saying to keep it quiet, but it's gonna hurt another friend.
00:11:58.240 -->
00:11:58.799Yep.
00:11:59.279 -->
00:12:27.840So I will say in that situation, which I've had those two, is I normally will tell the friend who I know it's gonna hurt another friend, like, hey, there's no way I can keep that, or I'm gonna have to be able to say at least something to give them a heads up, or how can I handle this, but not say it's through you or break your confidence, but I can't be put in the middle knowing that if and when it's found out, I don't want to be the person that's hurt either person.
00:12:28.000 -->
00:12:28.320Yeah.
00:12:28.480 -->
00:12:35.279So I feel like I normally will just be like, this is where the line is for me on how much I can say or not say.
00:12:37.200 -->
00:12:37.519Karen.
00:12:38.399 -->
00:12:40.639I would, I would probably do the same.
00:12:40.799 -->
00:12:44.000I mean, I I am a vault.
00:12:44.240 -->
00:12:50.559If someone says don't say anything, I don't know if it's the Italian in me, but it's like it just after I hear it, it dies.
00:12:50.879 -->
00:12:55.200Like it's like I don't even I didn't ever hear it.
00:12:55.519 -->
00:12:59.440Because I just take that very that's a big thing for me.
00:12:59.600 -->
00:13:07.600If someone's telling me something and it's sensitive or just like like it's that's it, it doesn't go anywhere else.
00:13:07.840 -->
00:13:13.919But if it if it includes other people that I know and somebody's gonna get hurt, I agree with Adrian.
00:13:14.159 -->
00:13:22.399I would have to say to that person, this is really hard for me to let it die here because then what?
00:13:22.960 -->
00:13:37.840Because if that does get to that other person or hurts them or upsets them in any way, and I think they're gonna come to me to talk about it, I would die a million deaths knowing that I knew and didn't say anything.
00:13:38.159 -->
00:13:40.000Yeah, I don't know.
00:13:40.159 -->
00:13:44.799I think this is gonna sound bad and probably make me sound like a bad person, but whatever.
00:13:45.120 -->
00:13:49.440I will evaluate the friendships first.
00:13:50.240 -->
00:13:57.120If one of you two tell me something and tell me not to say anything, even if I knew it's gonna hurt someone else, I would probably keep it.
00:13:57.279 -->
00:14:02.639I would tell you, dude, this is some BS that you're asking me because you know she like I would call you out.
00:14:03.039 -->
00:14:04.559We couldn't talk to each other that way.
00:14:04.720 -->
00:14:06.080Not everybody can do that.
00:14:06.320 -->
00:14:13.039No, but I would be like that said, if it was someone else, I would look.
00:14:13.120 -->
00:14:19.440If someone else, if a good friend told me something I knew was gonna hurt one of you guys, like I would just evaluate the depths of the friendship.
00:14:19.600 -->
00:14:29.600Like, how who am I closer to in order to either have a conversation with that person that says, yeah, you're you're putting me in a really uncomfortable position.
00:14:29.759 -->
00:14:32.080I really feel like I need to say something.
00:14:32.720 -->
00:14:35.679But yeah, it kind of depends on who I'm closer with.
00:14:36.080 -->
00:14:46.799I feel too though, sometimes in those situations, sometimes the person who knows that you're good friends with those of them sometimes put you in that.
00:14:46.879 -->
00:14:54.320I feel like someone's I've been put in that situation because they want the other one to know, but they don't want to be the one to break whatever news it was.
00:14:54.559 -->
00:14:58.799And then I feel like they're opening the door where I'm like, are you wanting me to say something?
00:14:58.879 -->
00:15:01.279Or I'll say, I feel like I need to say something.
00:15:01.440 -->
00:15:04.559I I you know that this is not something I could keep quiet.
00:15:04.720 -->
00:15:06.480And then I feel like they just hand it to me.
00:15:06.559 -->
00:15:10.000Like, yes, could you just you could say, but just don't say it's from me.
00:15:10.240 -->
00:15:16.320And sometimes on that, I one, it puts me in an awkward position because I don't like to be the middle person.
00:15:16.799 -->
00:15:21.279Because I don't want to say it's hearsay, but you know, someone saying something to say something to say something.
00:15:21.519 -->
00:15:31.759But also it makes me reevaluate who asked me to be in the middle and handle something, and then what kind of friendship do I have, or what kind of friendship do they both really have that they thought they had.
00:15:32.000 -->
00:15:41.120So I feel like sometimes in those situations, they're putting they're doing that just because they want the other person to know, but they don't want to be the one to say it.
00:15:41.440 -->
00:15:52.240Well, being in the middle never works because I have been in the middle before, and it's then you're in the middle and they're fine, and then you feel like crap.
00:15:52.559 -->
00:16:00.639And I don't like when people put I don't like to be put in the middle like that, and I try not to do that with other people.
00:16:01.200 -->
00:16:06.080No, but honestly, I've been in that same situation where someone's like, Can you tell this person?
00:16:06.240 -->
00:16:08.879I don't want to tell them I know you're better friends with them.
00:16:09.120 -->
00:16:16.879I will do it because it's the right thing to do, but kind of like you said, I will re-evaluate the friendship of the person that put me in that situation.
00:16:17.120 -->
00:16:22.399And honestly, I haven't been able to really redeem that friendship at that point.
00:16:22.480 -->
00:16:23.679It becomes tarnished.
00:16:24.159 -->
00:16:25.600I'm not quite sure why.
00:16:25.759 -->
00:16:28.320Like, why make me do a hard thing?
00:16:28.720 -->
00:16:38.320Like now I have to go to you and tell you something hard and deal with the the fallout in the aftermath, and you're over here living your best life, not having to worry about any of it.
00:16:38.399 -->
00:16:41.279Like, I think that that's kind of a crappy position to put anybody in.
00:16:41.519 -->
00:16:52.639Well, and we've talked about this because we've had people we've had people in our circles that have put us like just individual, not just like that.
00:16:52.720 -->
00:17:06.799This has happened, and I think then for me, I I am evaluating that person because I don't have an issue having an uncomfortable conversation with somebody.
00:17:07.119 -->
00:17:10.640So it's like, okay, why are you not doing that?
00:17:10.880 -->
00:17:13.920Like, what is what are you trying to gain from this?
00:17:14.240 -->
00:17:14.880Yeah.
00:17:15.200 -->
00:17:22.079Because otherwise, then it just you just put everybody in a whole bunch of situations they don't need to be in.
00:17:22.400 -->
00:17:22.720Yeah.
00:17:22.880 -->
00:17:28.640But I also feel like on that, I mean, I don't obviously, if someone is afraid to do something and then I'll do it.
00:17:28.799 -->
00:17:30.880One, I'm like, do they really just feel like I'm that blunt?
00:17:30.960 -->
00:17:32.880I have no issue telling someone something.
00:17:33.039 -->
00:17:35.119I mean, I don't know if I take that as a good sign or a bad sign.
00:17:35.440 -->
00:17:36.880Go tell a dream, she'll do it.
00:17:37.039 -->
00:17:38.240She'll just go rip the band-aid.
00:17:38.559 -->
00:17:55.680But I also feel like, gosh, if more people just ripped a band-aid, I feel like half the drama that happens in, you know, we're out and about in a lot of different groups and circles, and I feel like half the drama would be gone if people just rip a freaking band-aid, say what you need to say or what your feelings got hurt on, and move on.
00:17:56.000 -->
00:17:59.200Then all of the like sidebar this and sidebar that.
00:17:59.359 -->
00:18:00.480And you, I don't know.
00:18:00.559 -->
00:18:05.119I just like we're at an age now that I'm like, just rip the freaking band-aid and move on and be done.
00:18:06.000 -->
00:18:11.119Well, and then when you are the middle person, if someone tells me something I've got to tell you, I don't know all the details.
00:18:11.200 -->
00:18:12.240So you're gonna ask me questions.
00:18:12.400 -->
00:18:14.079I'm gonna be like, I don't know.
00:18:14.319 -->
00:18:16.400I wasn't, I just heard this.
00:18:16.960 -->
00:18:22.319But if the person had just come to you directly, they have all the answers that you're looking for.
00:18:22.400 -->
00:18:23.039It's just a mess.
00:18:27.759 -->
00:18:36.720So if somebody has it, just go tell somebody else I'm whirling around in my head than to deal with that pull pressure.
00:18:37.039 -->
00:18:37.680Yes.
00:18:38.160 -->
00:18:39.519Okay, next question.
00:18:39.839 -->
00:18:44.000This feels like my chat is attacking me, but I'm gonna read it anyways.
00:18:44.160 -->
00:18:50.240Okay, your friend constantly complains about being broke, but you know she's spending money irresponsibly.
00:18:50.720 -->
00:18:51.680That's so rude.
00:18:51.920 -->
00:18:57.359Do you tell her she's the problem, or do you just listen and let her figure it out and watch her go on her next cruise?
00:18:57.759 -->
00:18:59.039Her next cruise?
00:19:00.319 -->
00:19:02.079Did you add cruise in there?
00:19:02.240 -->
00:19:02.640Yes.
00:19:05.440 -->
00:19:07.279Oh, I love it.
00:19:10.559 -->
00:19:14.960I feel like one, I don't know what what money people have.
00:19:15.119 -->
00:19:17.680People can complain they don't have money, but they really have money.
00:19:17.759 -->
00:19:27.759You know, like there's you would say, you know, there's so many different millionaires that are driving cars from the 1980s wearing ripped jeans, and they won't spend anything.
00:19:28.000 -->
00:19:31.200I have family on my side, Terry's side.
00:19:31.920 -->
00:19:37.599They have more money than they know what to do with, but they won't spend a dime to to do anything, you know.
00:19:37.759 -->
00:19:38.720I was talking about that.
00:19:38.799 -->
00:19:43.279Like Terry's uncle's house is still the same as it probably has been for 60, 70 years.
00:19:43.440 -->
00:19:44.799I have an aunt the same way.
00:19:44.880 -->
00:19:46.799They own farms and land.
00:19:47.039 -->
00:19:48.799The house has never changed.
00:19:49.200 -->
00:19:50.559Not even furniture and stuff.
00:19:50.720 -->
00:19:52.319It's it is the same.
00:19:52.559 -->
00:19:56.480And they could spend money and they complain all the time about being broke, but they're not really broke.
00:19:56.640 -->
00:20:00.079So sometimes I feel like it's hard to judge someone when they say they're broke.
00:20:00.319 -->
00:20:00.799Yeah.
00:20:01.119 -->
00:20:06.480Because what is their mind of what's what do they consider broke?
00:20:06.720 -->
00:20:07.359Yeah.
00:20:07.920 -->
00:20:10.640Now, with you guys, I might send you memes of funny things.
00:20:10.720 -->
00:20:12.640Like that would be hard to tell you.
00:20:13.200 -->
00:20:15.440All of these like show keep showing up.
00:20:15.519 -->
00:20:17.200That's like, I'm not broke, broke.
00:20:17.440 -->
00:20:20.559I'm like, it's it's just choosing, right?
00:20:20.640 -->
00:20:22.000Like, we're not vacation broke.
00:20:22.160 -->
00:20:24.480I'm I also think it's how people choose.
00:20:24.640 -->
00:20:27.920Like, I mean, I know, and we've talked about it.
00:20:28.160 -->
00:20:36.319I mean, Brian and I own two and a half businesses between the two of us, and being your own business owner definitely has ebbs and flows.
00:20:36.400 -->
00:20:40.799And sometimes you feel like the world is falling apart, and other times it's good.
00:20:41.279 -->
00:20:52.640But I also am married to a human that is in the space of I could die tomorrow and I don't want to not go away for the weekend or go have dinner here or whatever.
00:20:52.799 -->
00:21:06.720I mean, granted, if we were dead broke, we wouldn't be doing that, but I think I think it's it's that individual person's deal, you know.
00:21:06.799 -->
00:21:10.240Like, I don't know, I don't, I wouldn't judge anybody.
00:21:10.480 -->
00:21:12.559I mean, I don't know.
00:21:12.799 -->
00:21:14.000It doesn't affect my life.
00:21:14.079 -->
00:21:17.759Like, I'm you know, I can listen, you can everyone's got something to complain about.
00:21:17.839 -->
00:21:24.559Like, if that's your thing, okay, but probably not my business to say, do you realize you're the problem here?
00:21:24.720 -->
00:21:28.799Like you said, Adrian, like, okay, if you send me memes, I might be like, oh, maybe it is me.
00:21:28.960 -->
00:21:31.920Like, let me come to my own realization that it's my own problem.
00:21:32.720 -->
00:21:35.119Well, and I do, I think there's different, yeah.
00:21:35.440 -->
00:21:39.440I just you like Adrian said, you just never know with people.
00:21:39.680 -->
00:21:46.160I mean, you just you never you just never know with people, like what they have, what they don't have.
00:21:46.400 -->
00:21:59.680I I know that I feel like I've been judged in my life through different lenses of people, and I didn't like that feeling because it caused me to shut down.
00:22:00.319 -->
00:22:06.559And not talk, you know, about feelings or things because you get worried about the way that people perceive things.
00:22:06.880 -->
00:22:09.440So I don't do that to other people.
00:22:09.680 -->
00:22:17.119I mean, I'm just in that space where if they're not, if they're just friends, it's like live your best life, you know.
00:22:17.359 -->
00:22:23.920But with us, it's different because we've been, you know, in the weeds with each, we know each other.
00:22:24.079 -->
00:22:26.640So I don't think that we would do that with each other.
00:22:26.880 -->
00:22:30.640We may just be like, hey, what you doing?
00:22:32.960 -->
00:22:34.640I can't think Tara'll be like, we're broke.
00:22:34.720 -->
00:22:37.759We can't, you know, go on like a vacation or do something.
00:22:37.839 -->
00:22:40.559And then the next minute he's sitting in the listing, he's like, hey, you want to buy this house?
00:22:40.720 -->
00:22:50.799Like, I mean, everyone's view of having money is so like terribly like, we don't have money to go do this vacation, but somehow we have money, like, let's go buy this investment property or so.
00:22:50.880 -->
00:22:53.839Everyone's money, I just like everyone's money is just spent differently.
00:22:54.319 -->
00:22:55.920Yeah, for true.
00:22:56.160 -->
00:22:57.680Okay, let's see.
00:22:57.839 -->
00:23:02.160You love your friend, but every story somehow ends with someone else being the problem.
00:23:02.319 -->
00:23:08.640Her boss is toxic, her boyfriend is an asshole, her family doesn't appreciate her, her business partner screwed her.
00:23:08.799 -->
00:23:12.400At what point do you say, girl, maybe you are the common denominator?
00:23:13.440 -->
00:23:14.960They're always the victim.
00:23:15.200 -->
00:23:16.480Do you tell them?
00:23:18.720 -->
00:23:19.359Yes.
00:23:19.680 -->
00:23:20.160Do you?
00:23:20.319 -->
00:23:21.039I move away.
00:23:21.119 -->
00:23:23.039Because, dude, at some point I'm gonna be the villain.
00:23:23.200 -->
00:23:24.000Nope, nope.
00:23:24.160 -->
00:23:24.799She's gonna go.
00:23:25.200 -->
00:23:29.920I don't think you are you don't have to be outright with it, but I've needed to be in check sometimes too.
00:23:30.000 -->
00:23:36.960Because sometimes when you're in the middle of your own world, you don't see outside of it, and the pity party gets really easy to live in.
00:23:37.279 -->
00:23:48.319And sometimes you just need somebody to hello, poke some holes in your little bubble and say, you know, you got to take a look at yourself.
00:23:48.720 -->
00:23:55.599Now, and not everybody can do that because yeah, it could end a friendship or it could, I don't know.
00:23:55.680 -->
00:24:04.400I've I've appreciated it, I've asked it because I mean, I not from everybody, because I don't want just anybody coming up to me and being like, you're the problem.
00:24:06.640 -->
00:24:08.400Let me tell you what your problem is.
00:24:08.559 -->
00:24:16.000Yes, I think it all of these questions go back to I will honestly look at the depth of every friendship.
00:24:16.319 -->
00:24:24.720If it's a meaningful true friendship, I'm probably gonna have a conversation that's like, hey, have you noticed how everybody else is the problem?
00:24:24.880 -->
00:24:28.079But you're the only person in the middle of all of these things, right?
00:24:28.240 -->
00:24:39.279Like, but if it's not someone that I have that level with, I will, I will definitely move away before I'm the next reason why XYZ didn't happen.
00:24:40.319 -->
00:24:46.640I think if that's their trait, then you I don't know if you would be friends with them for long.
00:24:47.200 -->
00:24:48.400No, Adrian.
00:24:48.559 -->
00:24:54.079Yeah, I'm not really like around I don't like a lot of negativity or the downy debra thing all the time.
00:24:54.160 -->
00:24:55.680Like that just doesn't.
00:24:56.079 -->
00:25:00.640I just feel like it's a negative vibe, and then it it just makes it weird.
00:25:00.880 -->
00:25:14.960I don't know if I've ever told, I mean, and other than my husband, who has no problem to tell me if I'm in one of those like complain modes, he's probably the only one who truly can say it, and I will get mad, and then later I'll be like, No, that's probably true.
00:25:15.119 -->
00:25:25.279I was in my own spiral, and I can do the same with him, but it's not like I don't feel like I say that much with friends.
00:25:25.759 -->
00:25:30.960No, okay, we'll do one more question and then we will wrap it up.
00:25:31.279 -->
00:25:41.839Um your friend is making a huge mistake, you know it, she knows it, everyone knows it, but she doesn't want advice, she just wants you to support her.
00:25:42.319 -->
00:25:44.240Do you A support her no matter what?
00:25:44.559 -->
00:25:46.880B, tell her the truth, even if she hates you.
00:25:47.200 -->
00:25:52.880C, say your piece once, and then like let her make her own damn decision.
00:25:54.880 -->
00:25:57.440I will say my piece and then I will be done.
00:25:57.519 -->
00:26:01.599There's no way I could filter myself to not give my opinion on it.
00:26:02.400 -->
00:26:03.839And then do you support her?
00:26:04.160 -->
00:26:05.119And then I would support.
00:26:05.200 -->
00:26:08.079I would just be like, hey, here's my concerns with this.
00:26:08.720 -->
00:26:13.200And then if they don't want to listen to it, then I would just be like, I'm that's fine.
00:26:13.440 -->
00:26:19.279Now, when it comes around, I'm sorry, but I am one who will tell you the I told you so.
00:26:19.599 -->
00:26:21.839I just will not say it.
00:26:22.000 -->
00:26:30.079Yes, because I'll be like, oh, well, remember when uh we had this conversation that's called an Adrian exclamation point.
00:26:30.559 -->
00:26:36.720I just realized that we've had these conversations multiple times that I'm just now light bulb is just now going on.
00:26:37.039 -->
00:26:38.000Damn it.
00:26:39.200 -->
00:26:40.640How am I now put those things?
00:26:41.359 -->
00:26:42.799Without saying I told you so.
00:26:43.119 -->
00:26:45.519She hasn't a way of doing that.
00:26:46.640 -->
00:26:48.079Oh, she does.
00:26:48.480 -->
00:26:49.920I am bad about that.
00:26:50.160 -->
00:26:52.160Or she'll just listen to you and then go.
00:26:54.160 -->
00:26:57.200And that face is like, I told you so.
00:27:01.519 -->
00:27:02.960My sarcasm will be like, What?
00:27:03.119 -->
00:27:04.240That happened?
00:27:06.799 -->
00:27:09.839Now the sarcasm I feel like you leave for your kids and your husband.
00:27:10.000 -->
00:27:12.160Like, I don't think you're not really sarcastic with us.
00:27:12.400 -->
00:27:14.960Yeah, I am pretty sarcastic with my kids and my husband.
00:27:15.279 -->
00:27:17.200But you are like sarcasm.
00:27:17.599 -->
00:27:19.839I think I told you, remember this conversation.
00:27:20.000 -->
00:27:23.119Remember this conversation you've said to me like a dozen times.
00:27:23.440 -->
00:27:24.480Damn it.
00:27:25.680 -->
00:27:27.359Carrie Ann, what about you?
00:27:28.480 -->
00:27:33.440I would say how I felt and then just let it be after that.
00:27:33.680 -->
00:27:36.640Just and then be just be like, I'm here for you.
00:27:36.799 -->
00:27:40.000You know, just and then let it be.
00:27:40.319 -->
00:27:42.000I think we're all like that with each other.
00:27:42.079 -->
00:27:43.039How are we with the public?
00:27:43.200 -->
00:27:44.880Are we the same way with the public?
00:27:46.480 -->
00:27:54.079I don't think that I put myself in positions where just any like every once in a while person is gonna tell me that.
00:27:54.240 -->
00:28:00.400But also then when I say that, for some reason I have tell me your entire life written across my forehead everywhere I go.
00:28:00.559 -->
00:28:06.960Like even when Brian and I go out, I'll be in a conversation and people tell me things I do not need to hear.
00:28:07.200 -->
00:28:10.559I don't know, but yeah.
00:28:10.960 -->
00:28:14.000I I mean, yeah.
00:28:15.039 -->
00:28:23.519I feel like I'm too selfish that if you're not in my close circle, then I really don't care what you do.
00:28:23.759 -->
00:28:29.599Now, if you're asking my opinion and you want my opinion, I'm happy to give you my opinion.
00:28:29.759 -->
00:28:36.559But I feel like if you're not not in my circle where I'm truly worried, like I take what you guys do very personal.
00:28:36.720 -->
00:28:47.200Like if you're in my circle, I take it very personal of what you're doing and feel like we have an open thing that I could tell you, and you could be upset with me or mad, and then you'll be fine.
00:28:47.440 -->
00:28:51.039Because we're family, where other people, I don't know.
00:28:51.200 -->
00:28:56.400I don't, I just feel like maybe I'm selfish that way, but I don't want to be involved in everybody's business.
00:28:56.960 -->
00:28:58.400I want to know everyone's business.
00:28:58.480 -->
00:29:00.319I don't want to be involved in it.
00:29:00.799 -->
00:29:09.359I don't and I think that that's an important thing, though, is like if you're asking for my advice or you're asking my opinion, I will give it.
00:29:09.519 -->
00:29:15.039If you're just telling me what you're doing and you're not in that close inner circle, then go and God bless.
00:29:15.119 -->
00:29:22.319Like, I'm not gonna take the time to insert my opinion, especially if you tell me you don't want it.
00:29:23.519 -->
00:29:23.839Right.
00:29:24.160 -->
00:29:24.400Agree.
00:29:24.640 -->
00:29:32.240I've never I've never gone to any, I've I don't think I've ever gone to you guys and say the and then I don't want your opinion.
00:29:33.759 -->
00:29:36.400Because I just know no matter what, I'm gonna get it.
00:29:36.559 -->
00:29:38.480I'm gonna get your opinions.
00:29:38.799 -->
00:29:42.799So why why even go into the conversation that way?
00:29:43.440 -->
00:29:51.519Plus, and I wouldn't tell just anybody something and say, This is what I'm gonna do, and I don't want your opinion.
00:29:52.000 -->
00:30:00.240Yeah, final question as we wrap up: What is the one friend code rule you will never break?
00:30:02.720 -->
00:30:06.799Oh trust, confidentiality, yeah.
00:30:07.200 -->
00:30:08.720Trust and lying.
00:30:09.519 -->
00:30:10.960I mean, trust is lying.
00:30:11.039 -->
00:30:12.480I mean that whole thing.
00:30:12.720 -->
00:30:19.759Like, yeah, I I am gonna I am gonna be your person and have your back, and I expect the same.
00:30:19.920 -->
00:30:38.079Like, I just I don't love that feeling of wondering when you leave a room if somebody's gonna say something or like I just I have no tolerance for that because that's not how I need to have that, and I I know we're all very similar that way.
00:30:38.480 -->
00:30:43.279Yeah, like I'll have your back even if you're wrong, and then we'll talk about it later.
00:30:43.920 -->
00:30:45.759I don't care what it is.
00:30:46.559 -->
00:30:49.039Well, there's a bit person, that's it.
00:30:49.200 -->
00:30:54.000I I've got your back, and I don't care how crazy I look, and then we'll talk about it.
00:30:54.319 -->
00:30:54.960Yep.
00:30:55.200 -->
00:30:59.039I think there's that one real it's a it's a clip, it's a famous clip.
00:30:59.119 -->
00:30:59.680What's his name?
00:30:59.759 -->
00:31:00.480Kevin Hart.
00:31:00.720 -->
00:31:06.480That's like if you're my best friend, your bullshit is my bullshit, and my bullshit is your bullshit.
00:31:06.640 -->
00:31:10.960I think it takes a lot for me to let anyone in that circle.
00:31:11.279 -->
00:31:14.799But once you're in, like I got you, if you've got me.
00:31:14.880 -->
00:31:20.160I think that, and that's the rule that I would never break.
00:31:20.240 -->
00:31:21.279I don't think.
00:31:21.599 -->
00:31:21.920Right.
00:31:22.079 -->
00:31:29.519But I also know that if you're in that circle, you're not gonna put me in a position where I have look not full transparency.
00:31:29.680 -->
00:31:34.799There's been times where I'm like, hey, I didn't want to go to this event, so I said that we had a one-to-one schedule.
00:31:34.960 -->
00:31:38.640Like, I need you to lie, like I'll do that kind of stuff, whatever, right?
00:31:38.880 -->
00:31:47.680But I think true friendships, you would never put me in a position where it's like, hey, I need you to cover for me because I'm doing this that's out of integrity.
00:31:47.759 -->
00:31:48.480You know what I mean?
00:31:48.640 -->
00:31:50.319Like little things that are fine.
00:31:50.720 -->
00:31:52.880I think so.
00:31:53.039 -->
00:31:56.799Knowing that if you're in that circle, you wouldn't put me in that position.
00:31:57.519 -->
00:31:58.960It's definitely a trust thing.
00:31:59.039 -->
00:32:00.559Like, I got you, you got me.
00:32:00.720 -->
00:32:02.559And I don't think that would ever be broken.
00:32:02.960 -->
00:32:04.000No, 100%.
00:32:05.359 -->
00:32:05.680Okay.
00:32:05.920 -->
00:32:10.559Well, I think we've violated at least six friendship rules during this episode.
00:32:11.359 -->
00:32:14.319It says real friendships aren't always agreeing.
00:32:14.480 -->
00:32:17.440Sometimes it's telling your friend the truth when she doesn't want to hear it.
00:32:17.599 -->
00:32:22.720Sometimes it's shutting your mouth and being there, and sometimes it's knowing when it's no longer your business.
00:32:23.119 -->
00:32:25.680And I think that that kind of sums it up pretty well.
00:32:25.759 -->
00:32:28.000So we'll see you on the next episode.
00:32:28.240 -->
00:32:28.799See ya.
00:32:29.279 -->
00:32:29.839Bye.
00:32:30.160 -->
00:32:35.359And that's a wrap on today's episode of the Group Chat Goes Live, Slightly Salty Edition.
00:32:35.599 -->
00:32:40.319Have you laughed, cringed, nodded along, or mentally texted your bestie?
00:32:40.559 -->
00:32:40.960Good.
00:32:41.119 -->
00:32:42.559That means we did our job.
00:32:42.799 -->
00:32:48.319Make sure you follow, subscribe, and slide into our DMs with your own slightly salty stories.
00:32:48.480 -->
00:32:50.319You know we love the chaos.
00:32:50.640 -->
00:32:53.599Until next time, keep your group chat spicy.
00:32:53.680 -->
00:32:56.240And the real world, slightly saltier.
