WEBVTT
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:05.040
Growing up, my mom taught us the concept of delayed gratification.
00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:10.960
It's the idea that you do the hard thing now so that you can relax and enjoy later.
00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:15.519
You do the difficult thing now so that you can enjoy something easier later.
00:00:15.759 --> 00:00:21.280
And it didn't occur to me how much this concept has stayed with me until as an adult now.
00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:25.280
I look at the decisions that I make and I wonder why I make them.
00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:38.960
Why am I able to look at a situation and know that if I do something now that requires a lot of sacrifice, that is hard, that is difficult, and I can push through, there will be the reward of knowing that I've done it.
00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:44.399
And maybe I'll also be able to enjoy the fruit or the benefit of that hard decision.
00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:54.640
Today I want to talk about delayed gratification, the pain of a regret, and why doing the hard thing now is worth it all the time?
00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:56.320
Let's get into it.
00:01:02.479 --> 00:01:13.120
You're listening to the Driven Introvert Podcast, the place to be for dreamers, doers, and entrepreneurs who are ready to birth the dreams, callings, and ideas the Lord has placed in their hearts.
00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:19.200
Do you sense that God is calling you to step out and do something new, but you're held back by fear and uncertainty?
00:01:19.359 --> 00:01:25.519
Do you struggle with believing that you can do great things because of your quiet, reserved, and introverted nature?
00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:26.640
Welcome here.
00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:31.040
I'm Remy Roy, your host and founder of ShePact.com.
00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:35.519
I'm an author, an entrepreneur, a creative, and a committed trier.
00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:40.079
I'm here to help you get on stock and make progress on your God idea.
00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:41.280
Let's go.
00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:48.159
So let's talk about small decisions and how they compound.
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:50.319
Growing up, it was the small things.
00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:54.879
Choosing to clean up the kitchen or do the dishes before sitting down to read my book.
00:01:55.040 --> 00:01:56.879
And I love to read.
00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:04.640
Choosing to finish my homework before watching TV so that I'm not rushing at the end of the day trying to do it all before going to bed.
00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:17.199
Those were small decisions at the time, but as an adult now, I can see how these small decisions, these ideas and concepts have stacked up to make me a more disciplined and intentional person.
00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:19.680
And I am not here to sing my own praises.
00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:25.199
No, I have so many areas that I still struggle with and things that I'm trying to balance out in my life.
00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:32.080
But the idea of delayed gratification came up when I was thinking about regret and how regret can be such a painful thing.
00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:33.280
Stick with me, okay?
00:02:33.520 --> 00:02:35.360
Regret can be so hard.
00:02:35.759 --> 00:02:40.159
Much harder than the pain of actually choosing to go through a difficult situation.
00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:46.240
Especially when you know there is possibility of joy or some sort of reward at the end of the day.
00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:56.400
I saw something online recently that made me really think about regret and how a lot of us might find ourselves struggling with it.
00:02:56.639 --> 00:03:00.479
I saw a post online of a father and a son.
00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:05.680
And the boy is a basketball player, the father is his coach.
00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:14.960
And this man had compiled videos of his son since he was a little boy, probably three or four years old, and he's now maybe 10 or 12.
00:03:15.360 --> 00:03:23.199
Over the years, he had compiled videos of himself training the boy and pushing him really hard to be able to play basketball at an elite level.
00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:29.039
And even I could tell that this boy must have endured a lot because some of the videos were really tough.
00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:36.800
You know, he made him train hard, he pushed him hard, he made him exercise, and it was painful for the boy, you could tell from the videos.
00:03:37.039 --> 00:03:45.360
But then at the end of the day, he showed his son winning, you know, championships and doing well and being celebrated as an elite athlete.
00:03:45.520 --> 00:03:49.439
And he taught something to me in that moment when I saw that.
00:03:49.759 --> 00:03:53.120
And of course, I made the mistake of scrolling down to the comments.
00:03:53.280 --> 00:04:01.680
And there were comments about, well, he pushed him too hard, this is abuse, you're trying to leave your life vicariously through your son.
00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:04.479
But then there was one comment that caught my eye.
00:04:04.719 --> 00:04:11.360
And this guy, another father, said something along the lines of, Well done, I tried to do the same with my daughter.
00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:17.040
She had so much potential, but her mother always said, Don't make her cry, don't push her too hard.
00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:21.519
And today, we all regret that she didn't, you know, lean into it.
00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:24.000
And what was this man trying to say?
00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:28.319
His daughter could have been doing very well as an athlete.
00:04:28.480 --> 00:04:32.399
She had the potential, she had the makings, she had the raw talent.
00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:46.959
But because they didn't push her, the joy of enjoying that confidence and that boldness and the celebration, right, of being seen and you know doing well in her sport isn't there.
00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:49.279
And that broke my heart a little bit.
00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:52.959
Because I'm thinking this father is living with the pain of regret.
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:54.480
And it's not even about him.
00:04:54.720 --> 00:05:03.360
This is about his daughter, who, according to him, sort of wasted the potential that she had because her mother didn't want to see her cry.
00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:06.399
She didn't want to see her do the hard thing.
00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:08.000
She couldn't take it.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:19.839
And now they don't get to enjoy the reward of the character that could have been built in her, the accomplishments she could have had, and the confidence she could have built in herself by succeeding at a high level.
00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:25.360
All of those things come with pain and time and sacrifice.
00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:27.199
And now there's regret.
00:05:27.920 --> 00:05:34.000
And it brings me to the thought that I have come to decide in my life that I would rather try.
00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:36.399
Regret is such a painful thing.
00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:42.800
I would rather have the pain of suffering, of sacrifice, of trying hard, even when there is no guarantee of success.
00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:48.879
I would rather do my very best for just a little sliver of hope that something might break in my favor.
00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:53.839
I would rather have that than live with regret and wonder what could have been.
00:05:54.720 --> 00:05:57.439
If you're going through it right now, I just want to encourage you.
00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:04.720
If you find yourself in a situation where you are going through the ringer right now, it is hard, and you're thinking, is there ever going to be relief?
00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:08.639
The thing is, I cannot promise you that there will be relief.
00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:18.480
But I can say that you will reach the end, whatever that end looks like, knowing that you did everything you could possibly do to get the results you wanted.
00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:20.879
And I think there's something powerful about that.
00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:24.879
Something really, really deep and powerful about that.
00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:34.000
So this might be like a sweeping statement, even though it shouldn't be.
00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:43.279
I feel like a lot of introverts have the capacity for depth and intention.
00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:50.000
Because we're very intentional with our energy, with our time, with most of the things that we do.
00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:58.000
Now, not every introvert is probably disciplined enough to be that, but I feel like we all have the capacity for it.
00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:03.439
Wherever we decide to put that energy, we can go all in and all out for it.
00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:11.439
So, one introvert to another, I want to encourage you to go all out and all in for whatever it is you believe in right now.
00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:19.279
Whatever positive, energizing, hopeful, big idea that you have, go all in and all out.
00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:24.800
And it doesn't matter how big, how scary and audacious it feels, go for it.
00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:27.120
Delay gratification.
00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:28.399
Yes, I get it.
00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:30.560
You want to sit back and relax right now.
00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:40.160
But if you will do the work, if you will do the thing that is hard, but that calls to you, you will have the time to enjoy the reward later.
00:07:40.399 --> 00:07:42.240
Now I'm not saying never take a rest.
00:07:42.319 --> 00:07:48.800
I am not um advocation for burnout and just um being a workaholic or all of that.
00:07:49.040 --> 00:07:49.360
No.
00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:54.000
A hundred percent you should manage your time, your energy, and your health.
00:07:54.399 --> 00:08:00.160
But do not give up on what could bring a lot of reward later because you are afraid of doing the work now.
00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:05.040
I choose not to live with regret and leaving it all on the table.
00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:06.800
That's what I choose to do.
00:08:06.959 --> 00:08:10.480
And I want to encourage you to do the same.
00:08:11.199 --> 00:08:28.079
The truth is that we don't have a lot of time to mess around if there is or a thought in your mind, if there is a goal that you have, if there is even a flicker of an idea that seems like it could be something.
00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:30.480
Yes, you don't have all the answers.
00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:38.080
Yes, no one can guarantee you anything, but what you can guarantee yourself is that there will be no regret.
00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:42.559
So I'm curious, what are your thoughts about delaying gratification?
00:08:42.879 --> 00:08:44.559
Do you find it easy to do?
00:08:44.720 --> 00:08:46.320
Do you struggle with it?
00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:48.799
I would love to hear your thoughts.
00:08:49.039 --> 00:08:53.279
Send me an email at thedrivenintrovert at shepact.com.
00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:54.720
I appreciate you.
00:08:54.879 --> 00:08:58.399
Thank you so much for listening to this one, and I'll see you in the next one.
00:08:58.720 --> 00:08:59.279
Bye.
00:09:03.919 --> 00:09:05.440
Thank you so much for listening.
00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:09.840
If you enjoy this conversation, please take a moment to follow or subscribe to the podcast.
00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:12.559
I'd also love your feedback on this episode.
00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:15.759
You can scroll down on your app and click write a review.
00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:18.320
I'd love to read your takeaways from this conversation.
00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:24.080
As always, don't forget to take courage, trust God, and go pursue your big ideas.
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:25.600
See you next time.
00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:30.559
The Dream Introvert is produced by sheeppack.com and Remy Roy.
00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:33.519
Want to ask a question or share a comment in a future episode?
00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.759
Click on the link in the show notes to record your question in a voicemail.
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:05.040
Growing up, my mom taught us the concept of delayed gratification.
00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:10.960
It's the idea that you do the hard thing now so that you can relax and enjoy later.
00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:15.519
You do the difficult thing now so that you can enjoy something easier later.
00:00:15.759 --> 00:00:21.280
And it didn't occur to me how much this concept has stayed with me until as an adult now.
00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:25.280
I look at the decisions that I make and I wonder why I make them.
00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:38.960
Why am I able to look at a situation and know that if I do something now that requires a lot of sacrifice, that is hard, that is difficult, and I can push through, there will be the reward of knowing that I've done it.
00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:44.399
And maybe I'll also be able to enjoy the fruit or the benefit of that hard decision.
00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:54.640
Today I want to talk about delayed gratification, the pain of a regret, and why doing the hard thing now is worth it all the time?
00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:56.320
Let's get into it.
00:01:02.479 --> 00:01:13.120
You're listening to the Driven Introvert Podcast, the place to be for dreamers, doers, and entrepreneurs who are ready to birth the dreams, callings, and ideas the Lord has placed in their hearts.
00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:19.200
Do you sense that God is calling you to step out and do something new, but you're held back by fear and uncertainty?
00:01:19.359 --> 00:01:25.519
Do you struggle with believing that you can do great things because of your quiet, reserved, and introverted nature?
00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:26.640
Welcome here.
00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:31.040
I'm Remy Roy, your host and founder of ShePact.com.
00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:35.519
I'm an author, an entrepreneur, a creative, and a committed trier.
00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:40.079
I'm here to help you get on stock and make progress on your God idea.
00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:41.280
Let's go.
00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:48.159
So let's talk about small decisions and how they compound.
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:50.319
Growing up, it was the small things.
00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:54.879
Choosing to clean up the kitchen or do the dishes before sitting down to read my book.
00:01:55.040 --> 00:01:56.879
And I love to read.
00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:04.640
Choosing to finish my homework before watching TV so that I'm not rushing at the end of the day trying to do it all before going to bed.
00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:17.199
Those were small decisions at the time, but as an adult now, I can see how these small decisions, these ideas and concepts have stacked up to make me a more disciplined and intentional person.
00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:19.680
And I am not here to sing my own praises.
00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:25.199
No, I have so many areas that I still struggle with and things that I'm trying to balance out in my life.
00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:32.080
But the idea of delayed gratification came up when I was thinking about regret and how regret can be such a painful thing.
00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:33.280
Stick with me, okay?
00:02:33.520 --> 00:02:35.360
Regret can be so hard.
00:02:35.759 --> 00:02:40.159
Much harder than the pain of actually choosing to go through a difficult situation.
00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:46.240
Especially when you know there is possibility of joy or some sort of reward at the end of the day.
00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:56.400
I saw something online recently that made me really think about regret and how a lot of us might find ourselves struggling with it.
00:02:56.639 --> 00:03:00.479
I saw a post online of a father and a son.
00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:05.680
And the boy is a basketball player, the father is his coach.
00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:14.960
And this man had compiled videos of his son since he was a little boy, probably three or four years old, and he's now maybe 10 or 12.
00:03:15.360 --> 00:03:23.199
Over the years, he had compiled videos of himself training the boy and pushing him really hard to be able to play basketball at an elite level.
00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:29.039
And even I could tell that this boy must have endured a lot because some of the videos were really tough.
00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:36.800
You know, he made him train hard, he pushed him hard, he made him exercise, and it was painful for the boy, you could tell from the videos.
00:03:37.039 --> 00:03:45.360
But then at the end of the day, he showed his son winning, you know, championships and doing well and being celebrated as an elite athlete.
00:03:45.520 --> 00:03:49.439
And he taught something to me in that moment when I saw that.
00:03:49.759 --> 00:03:53.120
And of course, I made the mistake of scrolling down to the comments.
00:03:53.280 --> 00:04:01.680
And there were comments about, well, he pushed him too hard, this is abuse, you're trying to leave your life vicariously through your son.
00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:04.479
But then there was one comment that caught my eye.
00:04:04.719 --> 00:04:11.360
And this guy, another father, said something along the lines of, Well done, I tried to do the same with my daughter.
00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:17.040
She had so much potential, but her mother always said, Don't make her cry, don't push her too hard.
00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:21.519
And today, we all regret that she didn't, you know, lean into it.
00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:24.000
And what was this man trying to say?
00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:28.319
His daughter could have been doing very well as an athlete.
00:04:28.480 --> 00:04:32.399
She had the potential, she had the makings, she had the raw talent.
00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:46.959
But because they didn't push her, the joy of enjoying that confidence and that boldness and the celebration, right, of being seen and you know doing well in her sport isn't there.
00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:49.279
And that broke my heart a little bit.
00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:52.959
Because I'm thinking this father is living with the pain of regret.
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:54.480
And it's not even about him.
00:04:54.720 --> 00:05:03.360
This is about his daughter, who, according to him, sort of wasted the potential that she had because her mother didn't want to see her cry.
00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:06.399
She didn't want to see her do the hard thing.
00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:08.000
She couldn't take it.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:19.839
And now they don't get to enjoy the reward of the character that could have been built in her, the accomplishments she could have had, and the confidence she could have built in herself by succeeding at a high level.
00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:25.360
All of those things come with pain and time and sacrifice.
00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:27.199
And now there's regret.
00:05:27.920 --> 00:05:34.000
And it brings me to the thought that I have come to decide in my life that I would rather try.
00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:36.399
Regret is such a painful thing.
00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:42.800
I would rather have the pain of suffering, of sacrifice, of trying hard, even when there is no guarantee of success.
00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:48.879
I would rather do my very best for just a little sliver of hope that something might break in my favor.
00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:53.839
I would rather have that than live with regret and wonder what could have been.
00:05:54.720 --> 00:05:57.439
If you're going through it right now, I just want to encourage you.
00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:04.720
If you find yourself in a situation where you are going through the ringer right now, it is hard, and you're thinking, is there ever going to be relief?
00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:08.639
The thing is, I cannot promise you that there will be relief.
00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:18.480
But I can say that you will reach the end, whatever that end looks like, knowing that you did everything you could possibly do to get the results you wanted.
00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:20.879
And I think there's something powerful about that.
00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:24.879
Something really, really deep and powerful about that.
00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:34.000
So this might be like a sweeping statement, even though it shouldn't be.
00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:43.279
I feel like a lot of introverts have the capacity for depth and intention.
00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:50.000
Because we're very intentional with our energy, with our time, with most of the things that we do.
00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:58.000
Now, not every introvert is probably disciplined enough to be that, but I feel like we all have the capacity for it.
00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:03.439
Wherever we decide to put that energy, we can go all in and all out for it.
00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:11.439
So, one introvert to another, I want to encourage you to go all out and all in for whatever it is you believe in right now.
00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:19.279
Whatever positive, energizing, hopeful, big idea that you have, go all in and all out.
00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:24.800
And it doesn't matter how big, how scary and audacious it feels, go for it.
00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:27.120
Delay gratification.
00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:28.399
Yes, I get it.
00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:30.560
You want to sit back and relax right now.
00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:40.160
But if you will do the work, if you will do the thing that is hard, but that calls to you, you will have the time to enjoy the reward later.
00:07:40.399 --> 00:07:42.240
Now I'm not saying never take a rest.
00:07:42.319 --> 00:07:48.800
I am not um advocation for burnout and just um being a workaholic or all of that.
00:07:49.040 --> 00:07:49.360
No.
00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:54.000
A hundred percent you should manage your time, your energy, and your health.
00:07:54.399 --> 00:08:00.160
But do not give up on what could bring a lot of reward later because you are afraid of doing the work now.
00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:05.040
I choose not to live with regret and leaving it all on the table.
00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:06.800
That's what I choose to do.
00:08:06.959 --> 00:08:10.480
And I want to encourage you to do the same.
00:08:11.199 --> 00:08:28.079
The truth is that we don't have a lot of time to mess around if there is or a thought in your mind, if there is a goal that you have, if there is even a flicker of an idea that seems like it could be something.
00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:30.480
Yes, you don't have all the answers.
00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:38.080
Yes, no one can guarantee you anything, but what you can guarantee yourself is that there will be no regret.
00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:42.559
So I'm curious, what are your thoughts about delaying gratification?
00:08:42.879 --> 00:08:44.559
Do you find it easy to do?
00:08:44.720 --> 00:08:46.320
Do you struggle with it?
00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:48.799
I would love to hear your thoughts.
00:08:49.039 --> 00:08:53.279
Send me an email at thedrivenintrovert at shepact.com.
00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:54.720
I appreciate you.
00:08:54.879 --> 00:08:58.399
Thank you so much for listening to this one, and I'll see you in the next one.
00:08:58.720 --> 00:08:59.279
Bye.
00:09:03.919 --> 00:09:05.440
Thank you so much for listening.
00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:09.840
If you enjoy this conversation, please take a moment to follow or subscribe to the podcast.
00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:12.559
I'd also love your feedback on this episode.
00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:15.759
You can scroll down on your app and click write a review.
00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:18.320
I'd love to read your takeaways from this conversation.
00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:24.080
As always, don't forget to take courage, trust God, and go pursue your big ideas.
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:25.600
See you next time.
00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:30.559
The Dream Introvert is produced by sheeppack.com and Remy Roy.
00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:33.519
Want to ask a question or share a comment in a future episode?
00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.759
Click on the link in the show notes to record your question in a voicemail.
