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Welcome back to another episode of the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast with your hosts Jody Roscoe and Heather Fisher.
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We're talking about all things downsizing, from our own experiences with clients to guest experts.
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Let's make downsizing easier, one conversation at a time.
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Hi, welcome to the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast.
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Today we're talking about what happens if you can't stay independent.
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You've got that plan for aging in place, but this is taking a look at having that plan B in your back pocket.
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Yeah, I think sometimes it's stuff people don't want to talk about.
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And I think some of the things that we do talk about are stuff that's maybe not quite as pleasant to think about, but I think when you have a plan, then it kind of um alleviates that fear in the back of your mind that something could happen and you don't have a plan, right?
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And so um just make the plan and then hope that that's not what you have to, you know, implement necessarily.
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Yeah, exactly.
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I was gonna say the same thing, that gift to yourself of having the information that you need and um you know having that plan ready alleviates so much heaviness and worry and you know tickling at the back of your mind like uh you know, any moment a crisis could come up and you're not ready.
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Yeah, and I think a lot of people just bury their head in the sand and feel like, you know, okay, well, I'll just have I'll just deal with that when it comes.
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But honestly, when you're in crisis, dealing with it is the absolute worst time to do that.
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Um and so um so what we're hoping in all of the things that we talk about are that you create a plan or create a space where you are ready for whatever comes and then hopefully only really fantastic things come.
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Absolutely.
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I'm Heather Fisher.
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I'm Jodie Roscoe.
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And let's uh dive into a couple um parts of that plan B that make it a complete strategy and um able to have their waiting if you ever need it.
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Yeah.
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So planning um for plan B, it's not it's not a failure, it's not, you know, you're assuming bad things are gonna happen, it's not a pessimistic thing, it's actually a positive thing making trying to really alleviate some of that um nervousness or guilt or you know, fear that that something might go wrong and you won't know what to do.
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And nearly 70% of adults over 65 are gonna need some form of long-term care.
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70% is a big number.
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And so um just knowing what that could look like will help not only your brain, but the people who care about you's brain as well.
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Yeah, I think that as adult children, um ourselves, we see those pieces where we have a worry of our parents and wanting to know do they have a plan?
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How can we help them come up with that plan?
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And um, you know, what their wishes would be for different situations that might come up so that we can easily be a help.
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And I think what you said earlier, it's a gift to, you know, everyone.
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I think that is so, so true.
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Um, because if you're in denial or you're, you know, just n afraid to think about it, or you don't want to take the next steps, um, y crisis decisions usually happen fast and they happen emotionally, and you might not even be making the decisions your yourself.
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You know, the kids might be making the decisions or somebody that you care about might be making the decisions.
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So when you plan, it just gives you so many um more opportunity uh to make thoughtful decisions and it gives you more choices of decisions to make the earlier that you do it.
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Yeah, and it actually reinforces the independence uh that is one of the presiding reasons why people avoid this plan B, you know, because they are just fiercely determined to stay independent.
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But by having this plan in place, it's the w best way to, you know, be independent in your finances and your decisions and um you know your health care, all of that because you have it all planned out.
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Yeah, our brains really don't like the unknown.
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They really don't like it.
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And so unknown can be paralyzing.
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Um and so um and the other thing is if it ends up into some kind of a crisis situation and your kids or your loved ones or somebody that you care about has to make decisions for you, um, sometimes there's a lot of guilt around that because they don't know what you want.
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And so, you know, having them just know and not have and and removing that guilt or that uncertainty is really, really helpful for um people.
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Yeah, it's like a instruction manual that's a choose your own adventure.
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Yeah.
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I want this, but if this happens instead, here's what you do.
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If this happens instead, here's what I want.
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Right.
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So even the c even though the conversations might be hard or uncomfortable or weird, um, when they're done, you're gonna feel better, and the people that you're talking to about what needs to happen will feel better too.
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Everybody will know that you're all on the same page.
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So um five pillars for a solid plan B.
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Um, number one is medical and health decisions.
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So that is like who is going to speak for you if you can't?
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And what paperwork do you need to make that happen so that they can speak for you?
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And um just making sure you've taken that final step of the wishes you have and making those legal documents because when it comes to finances and health care, um those rules are stringent to have that paperwork in order and current to your current wishes.
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It might be outdated, um, and and having that all in line just gives you that peace of mind that the people you've told what you do want are able to make those things happen for you.
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Yeah, you absolutely need a healthcare proxy, you need you need a medical power of attorney, and you need a living will.
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Um, and so you may need an attorney to help you um put that together.
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Um, but uh hospitals can't just share information uh without um proper paperwork, and so you want to make sure that you have that proper paperwork and everybody knows where it is.
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Um so so you want to make sure that that's all up to date.
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And that's something you want to look at um actually, you know, every six months or a year or something, and all of this is stuff that you probably need to review, you know, on a yearly basis at minimum, or if something big comes up.
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But um you're also gonna want to keep a a list of the medications that you take because when you if you go to the hospital in crisis situation, um they're gonna the hospital's gonna want to know what that is, and you think, oh, but they have it all in file, and yeah, I know.
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But they still want the list of all of the things.
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I remember my mom, you know, my grandma was taking like 12 medicines or 15, and like a bag full of medicines, and I remember her like going to the cupboard and trying to write down every medicine, you know, that she was taking because the hospital was asking questions that she didn't know the answers to.
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And so, um, yeah, I think as you know, coming from experience, another good list to have and keep updated is your list of uh doctors and healthcare providers by specialty.
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Yeah.
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I know you know, if there's a crisis, your loved one might end up in the emergency room, um, but that's a whole new set of doctors, and a lot of this information might be available if you knew who to contact for those records and information to be passed back and forth.
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But for my parents, I'm like, I know you go to the cardiologist, but I don't know their name or phone number.
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Um, you know, just having that list in one place.
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Yep, list of doctors and list of medications.
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Who you're picking for your power of um attorney or your your medical power of attorney um should be somebody that's calm under pressure.
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It doesn't necessarily have to be like the oldest child or you know, like specific.
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Like pick somebody who's gonna be calm and listen to what you want your decisions to be.
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You need to talk about what um quality of life wishes that you have, um, because there may be situations where you want something different to happen.
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Um, so talk about all of that stuff.
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Yeah, definitely talk about that role uh beyond just naming them and that being a surprise to someone.
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Right.
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Oh, you're the one who's gonna make the decisions, and I don't know what decisions you want me to make.
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Yeah, so um just having that full conversation of what that role looks like to you and what you would like them to do.
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Yeah, so about housing, about medical treatment, end-of-care life, life care, all of that stuff.
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So um, yeah, okay.
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So secondly, sorry, I got a little lost here.
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Um, okay, so uh housing care.
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So um basically there are all kinds of options here, so that that's something that you need to think about.
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So do you want in-home help?
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Do you want to go to a community that has independent living, assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing?
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Um if uh you you need to we've we talk about this a lot, go tour places, go tour them and see what you like and see what you might you know are uh uh feel comfortable in.
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And some places have no care.
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Some places have independent care and they have assisted living, but they don't have memory care or skilled nursing.
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So um know where you're going because if you get to a place where you might need memory care or skilled nursing, is it okay for you to move to a different place?
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Are you good with that?
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Or are you like, no, I need to be in some place where I can be there the whole time should something, you know, happen where I need that.
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Yeah, and knowing um, you know, prices are subject to change if this is years away, but getting a general sense of the finances at um the places that you're interested in.
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Um we know from touring so many, you know, some places are more of a rental situation, some require a large endowment up front, some give you ownership, some don't.
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I mean, there's a whole gamut and those fit differently to different people's financial situation and what that looks like for future planning.
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So gather that information as well, even if you're not ready, so you don't just fall in love with a community and then realize it doesn't fit the picture you're looking for with your finances.
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Yeah, and if you need help with this and you're really you're thinking I need I'm ready to move to a community soon, um, there are people um who whose job it is to help you um navigate what communities are better, um, and it's usually a free service to you.
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So if you have questions about that, please reach out to us at downsizingroadmap.com and we can kind of direct you in a in a place in a way that um it's we've got some great resources uh for that.
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Yeah, because um that can be overwhelming.
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You can be like, I don't know.
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In some place just because it's pretty doesn't mean it has the perfect care.
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And you know, so you just need to know what what's gonna work well for you for your care, for your your lifestyle, for your finances, like all of that.
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Yeah, and that includes in-home care, um, just getting a sense of the cost of that.
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Um, I know we've been in in informational seminars before where full-time 24-hour in-home care is the most expensive option.
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So I think sometimes people think, oh, well, I'm staying at home, so it can't nearly it can't cost nearly as much, but you're getting that one-on-one person in your home.
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Um, so something to consider, just you know, for the time you need a little bit of care, that's the path you want to go down until what changes that moves it to the next level.
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I think people, many people want to stay.
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They they're like, I just want to stay at home.
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And I think they don't realize the cost of what that is, and if because the cost is so high, what that usually means that you're gonna have to have, you know, some kind of a support system of your family and your friends or whatever that looks like because the cost is really high if you have nursing care 24 hours a day.
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Um and so things to think about, you know, who who would that be?
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You know, it's okay if you have a if you have a group of people that are good and you want to um, you know, you have a great support system and they can create a calendar and it all you know works, but it's all conversations that need to be had.
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So it doesn't, it's not just kind of like a willy-nilly like, oh well, this one person's gonna go ahead and take care of me all the time every day, and you know, that's a surprise that you're not expecting.
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Yeah.
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And some people thrive socially in, you know, communities because isolation, I mean, being home 24 hours a day by yourself isn't good for us, honestly.
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Um, so that's something to think about as well.
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And also, if you are gonna stay at home, you may need to talk to a company or somebody um about grab bars and about um you know ways to to make it safe at home, first floor living, what kind of lighting there is, how many stairs there are, how you're gonna navigate all of those things.
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So if this is um, you know, a future down the road, plan B, and you your ultimate goal is to age at home, are you in the right home to sell yourself to do that is another part of that plan.
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Yep.
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Okay, um the third pillar is um financial ready readiness.
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So do you know what that care could cost?
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So average assisted living is somewhere between five and six thousand dollars a month.
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Um, and that's not that's not nursing care, that's not skilled nursing care or um memory care or any of that.
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That is um assisted living.
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So um, do you have long-term care insurance?
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Who has it and what does it cover?
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Um you might have been paying on that a long time.
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Um if you already are a little bit older, long-term care insurance may just be out of the reach of money, you know, to spend.
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Like long-term care insurance is something you probably need to get and when you're a little bit earlier to have it even be a reasonable amount of money.
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Well, and I would say if you did get it earlier, um make sure you review back um to the that that um declaration page as to what it covers you.
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Um, you know, is it a lump sum available for whatever you need?
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Is it a daily supplement which may not cover the full cost of what you're thinking it will?
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There's a lot of caveats.
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So if it's been a long time and you've just been paying on it, that's great.
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But just make sure you know if you're talking to estate planners or financial planners that you don't just assume you have that as a as a bucket that will solve a problem until you either review it yourself or have someone else explain um, you know, how it actu how your policy actually works.
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Right, right.
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They're all different and some of them were made a long time ago and what seemed like was gonna be, you know, covering things may or may not do that.
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So Yeah, we had that happen in my own family, and my parents had bought it uh many, many years ago, and when it came time to needing it for my dad, um, you know, the only mental trigger my mom had was her recollection of you know the salesman per se at the kitchen table selling it to them years ago.
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Years ago, at least twenty-five years prior to when it was needed, and the nuts and bolts of the policy were still a big help and you know, glad that they had had it, but it wasn't quite what she anticipated uh working logistically the way she anticipated.
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So just make sure you review um what your benefits actually are.
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And while you're at it, all your paperwork needs to be in order.
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So we've talked about that, um, getting all of your paperwork together, and you might be even um it might even be time to talk to, you know, a state uh lawyer or elder care um lawyer that can help you protect some of your assets if that needs to happen.
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It might be worthwhile to have that conversation, especially if you're already talking to somebody, a lawyer that you're gonna get your um power of attorney and you know, living well, all of that stuff.
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You just it may be just a whole package of talking to an estate attorney about what financially that could look like and how you know do you need it in a trust?
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Do you not need it in a trust?
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Like they have answers to all of those questions.
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And you'll want to get all of your paperwork, your accounts, your passwords, all of your policies in one place.
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Um you need to do this anyways.
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All of us need to do this no matter how old you are, um, because anybody could, you know, have to go into the hospital for a minute and have somebody have to take over paying their bills or, you know, looking after that stuff.
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So paperwork needs to be all together in one place and the people that you care about need to know where it is.
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Um all of that.
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I think there's two levels of that question.
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Um the one is asking yourself, could some someone step in tomorrow and pay my bills and manage my household?
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So that would be uh, you know, the passwords for your bank accounts and um you know all of those day-to-day pieces.
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Where do bills come by email or postal mail mail?
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Where can someone look for it?
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Um, and then that other layer of could my finances be easily sorted out, you know, in a permanent basis if you're no longer here, and that's uh things like making sure you've named a beneficiary to your bank accounts and that your car and you know, all of the whether it's a trust or a different plan with your estate attorney, um, both that day-to-day level and that long-term planning.
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Yeah, and the other thing is um you may need some emergency funds for transitions.
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So do you have those in place?
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Um is the money all in your house?
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If that's the case, maybe we need to get, you know, a a little second, you know, mortgage on the house just to give to give the give you an opportunity to take some of the money from the house and make your transition.
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Um, you know, th there's lots of ways that that can be handled, um, but you want to make sure that you do have a little bit of a bucket of money for transition time because that can come quickly and they can be like, okay, here's how much money we need, and you might have access to it, but not liquid access to it.
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So know what that can look like.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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The fourth pillar is legal legal authority.
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So we we already talked a little bit about that, but um make sure that you have your durable power of attorney, that you have a will, that your beneficiaries are um listed on all of your things.
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Maybe your bank account needs to be shared with somebody, maybe not.
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But all of that is whether gonna determine what happens if you don't have them and eventually when you're gone, what happens if you don't have them?
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Is your is your property going through probate probate?
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Is you know, is there a delay?
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Is there stress in the family on that, or can we make that a smoother transition?
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Um whatever that looks like.
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That can be planning ahead for your funeral and um those arrangements to get through that transition as well, just having that peace of mind knowing that that's all handled.
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Yeah, and having the documents is part of it, but knowing what the person that needs to know where they are, knowing where they are, and you know, all of that, knowing who the lawyer is, if they have questions, all of you know, all of that information is important.
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Um and the other thing is again, this stuff needs to be reviewed.
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You need to set it up, but then it needs to be reviewed annually, maybe, um, but also if there's a death, if there's a divorce, if there's a remarriage, um more children born into your family that you may want to include in uh what you're passing on.
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If you relocate to a different state to make sure that the it's you know okay in whatever state that you're in.
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So um any kind of big life changes, you want to also take a look at it again.
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Yeah.
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And if you've done the hard work of having the baseline all set up, those reviews um should be much simpler than sorting through it all at once um, you know, in a crisis.
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Yeah, and we've talked about this on each level, but i the fifth one is the communication plan, like who knows the plan?
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Who knows where the pattern what the plan is and how how often do you revisit that?
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And you know, you might you need to, you know, probably keep it all in a life binder or a you know, filing drawer cabinet, like a one that's fireproof, you know, if possible.
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Um keep it all together so that somebody could easily find it, knows where it is, and it's organized in a way that um they can use it without even you helping them, right?
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So um not not things that need to be all explained and oh this is here, but then that's over in that other drawer, and then this is over, you know, just all together.
00:21:46.579 --> 00:21:59.379
Yeah, and clearly labeled, I think, too, especially if um you're holding on to old paperwork for whatever reason that you are, but it's accounts you don't have anymore, or things like that.
00:21:59.700 --> 00:22:02.099
That becomes very confusing.
00:22:02.259 --> 00:22:12.259
Like this one looks like a mortgage, this one looks like a mortgage, this one looks like a mortgage, but it could have been refinances through the years, it they could all be paid off.
00:22:12.659 --> 00:22:14.099
Bank accounts that have been closed.
00:22:14.259 --> 00:22:20.500
I had that with my mom, and I had to call all the places, I'm like, they're like, you know, to find out if it was still real or not real.
00:22:20.579 --> 00:22:38.659
Like, you know, you don't know all of the things that's so we talk about that often when we're talking about downsizing paperwork, um, but we all end up with file cabinets where you keep filing the new stuff, and even if it's organized when it goes in, you know, this is the bank for the mortgage or whatever.
00:22:38.899 --> 00:22:51.619
If you don't re-take that out or at least write on the cover of the folder that it was paid off and here's the date, um you just create a lot of confusion by not going through and and auditing that.
00:22:52.019 --> 00:22:52.980
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:53.059 --> 00:22:56.819
You definitely d some other things that we haven't really talked about.
00:22:56.980 --> 00:23:01.539
So in this in this communication plan, we're going to talk about everything.
00:23:01.859 --> 00:23:07.139
You, your stuff, you know, your wishes for your funeral, like all of that stuff.
00:23:07.299 --> 00:23:13.059
Your pets, what's going to happen to your pets, like have a conversation with that, you know, with somebody about that.
00:23:13.299 --> 00:23:24.899
Even your home maintenance contacts, who's mowing the lawn, who's doing things that you know you're going to have, they're going to have to contact them and tell them, you know, keep doing this, don't keep doing this, whatever, you know, all of the things.
00:23:25.139 --> 00:23:51.859
So whatever you're paying anybody for anything, you know, that all needs to be kind of laid out so somebody could come follow behind and um and make sure you have your k your password to your phone in there as well if you have a password to your phone because if anybody's trying to figure out what your password is because you didn't leave them leave them all and then they try to reset it, they'll set it they'll send something to the phone and if you can't open the phone to find it, that's also a problem.
00:23:51.940 --> 00:24:25.379
So yeah that daily um service list is super helpful if you're just moving to a community and you know your adult kids are helping with the house if they know who you routinely call for your HVAC or your plumbing or they know they need to reach out to the lawn service to you know continue during the transition and cancel you know on whatever date when that's all gathered that can easily take some of that burden of the transition off of everyone's plate.
00:24:25.460 --> 00:24:26.420
It's much faster.
00:24:26.740 --> 00:24:31.700
Because you know if if a crisis happens it's already stressful.
00:24:31.859 --> 00:24:37.379
Like we don't need more stress on now who do I do this and you know lots of figuring out of things.
00:24:37.460 --> 00:24:39.700
Like we need as much calm as possible.
00:24:40.019 --> 00:25:10.259
Yeah and if you can quickly solve some of these things um you can streamline the process and um you know save little money bleeds like okay we can cancel the cable because we're not living here we can you know cancel the landline phone because no one's here and you know they can be smaller amounts but they all add up and when you're making that transition you want your finances to be serving you not paying for services at a house you don't live in.
00:25:10.579 --> 00:25:17.700
Well and if your family is scrambling trying to figure out this and that and the other thing they're not spending the time with you because they're doing that.
00:25:17.859 --> 00:25:20.740
They would much rather be spending the time with you.
00:25:20.980 --> 00:25:22.180
So um yeah.
00:25:22.420 --> 00:25:34.579
All right segment three what um what if you don't have somebody what if you're doing planning this as a solo ager like what if you don't have kids that you can say okay this is the person or you know brothers and sisters or whatever.
00:25:34.740 --> 00:25:39.379
So um it's important for you to just build a circle of trust even if it's not your family.
00:25:39.539 --> 00:25:50.180
So I'm you know whoever that is doesn't have to be your family but you just have to have the right paperwork to show that this is the person that you want to make the decisions for you.
00:25:50.500 --> 00:26:10.339
Yeah sometimes that can be your attorney you know acting as your representative sometimes it's a close family friend or a more distant relative that you're still close to even if the relationship technically is is more distant, you know, a cousin or something like that.
00:26:11.619 --> 00:26:13.619
But just having that support system in place.
00:26:13.940 --> 00:26:16.259
Yeah we see nieces and nephews and all of that stuff.
00:26:16.659 --> 00:26:21.619
There are geriatric care managers that you can also you know hire to do that.
00:26:21.779 --> 00:26:24.339
So lots of lots of options.
00:26:24.740 --> 00:26:49.059
There's some great patient advocates as well if you're in a community and you're just having some trouble solving some issues that are feeling like problems there are great patient advocates that can step in and and help you navigate talking with staff and directors if you need that and don't have a team from your family helping.
00:26:49.460 --> 00:26:58.500
Yeah and maybe the neighbors can help maybe they help you know mow the lawn or have somebody or you know pull in some other people but honestly our friends are our family that we pick, right?
00:26:58.659 --> 00:27:04.980
And so those people are probably the ones that you need to to really reach out to and figure out what that looks like.
00:27:05.700 --> 00:27:10.500
And if you don't want to put burden on them then I would say attorney or some kind of a care provider.
00:27:10.819 --> 00:27:33.460
Yeah absolutely we see that so often as we're dealing with that interim time of someone's moved to a community and the um the house is getting ready to go on the market but not yet and oh the neighbor most met so many neighbors at the door coming to check on the process and places or grab your groceries or you know all of the things.
00:27:33.779 --> 00:27:42.740
Yeah absolutely yeah yeah um yeah so it's just about creating the community if you don't have that you know those blood ties.
00:27:43.220 --> 00:28:00.659
Yeah absolutely all right so what are signs when it's time to reevaluate your independence so what kind of red flags are we talking about that might maybe think hey I probably need to do something here so multiple falls um this is so so common falling at home is so so common.
00:28:00.819 --> 00:28:10.339
Yeah um and so uh if that's happening that that's probably uh indication that the place that you are um isn't working for you.
00:28:10.659 --> 00:28:29.059
Yeah and stage one could be making it more uh mobility friendly moving removing some area rugs or fixing some trip hazards and then step two if that advances is okay we we went through that phase now it's still not working what's the next step?
00:28:29.379 --> 00:28:48.980
Yeah um medication mismanagement you're forgetting to take your medication maybe you've missed some bills over confusion you know conf or some confusion over money maybe hygiene changes are happening you're not taking a shower as often because that's really difficult or things like that.
00:28:49.700 --> 00:29:03.940
Isolation and withdrawal are also signs that you know you're not doing as well um by yourself as you you thought you might want to be you don't want to do the things that you used to do you know all of that.
00:29:04.180 --> 00:29:11.779
So we we both of our families ended up in houses where the full baths were upstairs and the stairs were a problem.
00:29:12.579 --> 00:29:22.899
And so I think just noticing and accepting that that's what's going on and um being willing to move you know forward in a different direction with it.
00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:26.980
Yeah I think that um nutrition changes is a big one too.
00:29:27.539 --> 00:29:30.420
And sometimes I mean it can be from various reasons.
00:29:30.579 --> 00:29:43.139
It could be the difficulty of getting out from the house to bring groceries in it could be the energy and um managing cooking um you know and preparing the food.
00:29:43.460 --> 00:29:51.940
It could be some memory issues of just forgetting you know three meals a day and not noticing when you've missed a meal.
00:29:52.259 --> 00:29:54.579
My grandma would be like I'm just gonna have some tea and toast.
00:29:54.899 --> 00:30:00.420
Yeah yeah and a lot of energy that's the energy drain of it's too much.
00:30:00.819 --> 00:30:07.379
I can do that easily and the alternative is a lot more than I can handle today or every day.
00:30:07.779 --> 00:30:08.019
Right.
00:30:08.180 --> 00:30:14.339
But tea and toast doesn't have a lot of um nutritional value um and so you've got to be careful with that.
00:30:14.420 --> 00:30:16.659
So maybe you reframe your support, right?
00:30:16.740 --> 00:30:24.099
Maybe you get a housekeeper to help you clean a little bit or maybe you have meal deliveries or um you know do something like that.
00:30:24.420 --> 00:30:29.299
Maybe you get some trans people to help with transportation and um medication management.
00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:42.500
Even in the beginning it can just be you know the box that you have fill what you know at the beginning of the week and then you just know which pills you're supposed to be taking and if they're gone out of the box you know the little section of the container you know you took them.
00:30:42.740 --> 00:30:42.899
Yeah.
00:30:43.299 --> 00:30:48.259
So none none of it always it ha it doesn't it it kind of is a slow progression, right?
00:30:48.339 --> 00:30:54.819
And so but if that's where you're at then you know maybe that's something that you need to look forward into what the next steps are going to be.
00:30:55.139 --> 00:31:09.779
Yeah absolutely there are definitely uh graduated red flags and you start noticing them and then there are initial solutions you can put in place until those are also showing the red flags of not working any longer.
00:31:10.180 --> 00:31:25.859
And I think what happens is because it happens slowly we just get used to it for ourselves and we're like oh this is just hard but I'm just used and then it gets harder and you just kind of suck it up and instead maybe having that courage to ask yourself like what's some what support could make this better?
00:31:26.019 --> 00:31:28.819
Like this isn't working what could what could make it better?
00:31:28.980 --> 00:31:30.899
How could we you know fix it a little bit?
00:31:31.220 --> 00:31:48.659
Yeah and that is back to what we say all the time our five steps that dream it if these things are just making life harder for you how can you free that burden and um you know get a little more ease yeah with the solution.
00:31:49.139 --> 00:31:49.299
Right.
00:31:49.539 --> 00:31:54.099
So and they're not failures it's signals they're just telling you what's you know what's going on.
00:31:54.259 --> 00:31:56.339
So you just have to listen to the signals sometimes.
00:31:56.420 --> 00:32:03.220
So yeah okay so segment five what peace of mind is actually gonna look like once you've done these things.
00:32:03.460 --> 00:32:03.700
Yeah.
00:32:04.420 --> 00:32:06.420
So you're gonna sleep better at night.
00:32:06.659 --> 00:32:06.980
Yeah.
00:32:07.220 --> 00:32:07.539
Yeah.
00:32:07.859 --> 00:32:13.779
And the loved ones your loved ones are gonna know what you want and so that's gonna let them sleep better at night honestly.
00:32:14.899 --> 00:32:18.500
Because I didn't know a lot my mom didn't want to talk about all of this stuff.
00:32:18.579 --> 00:32:22.099
Um and I tried to get her to talk about it and she did not want to.
00:32:22.579 --> 00:32:35.940
But that really gave me you know anxiety because I was like I don't really know what she wants and then I guess at the end of it all it was like well it must not have been that important to her so I'm gonna have to make the decisions but it still felt heavy.
00:32:36.099 --> 00:32:42.019
It still felt really heavy and I think um everybody will feel lighter lighter if you have these conversations.
00:32:42.339 --> 00:32:54.500
Yeah absolutely um you also avoid like reactive or high stress decisions when you're in crisis and sometimes when we are in high stress and we're being reactive we don't make the best decisions.
00:32:55.460 --> 00:33:04.980
And so we want to make sure that we're clear thinking and being able to make those decisions in from a place of um thoughtfulness and not a place of panic.
00:33:05.539 --> 00:33:10.099
And so that will also make you feel better that you know what the path is.
00:33:10.339 --> 00:33:13.460
Hopefully the path won't be here for quite some time but you know what it is.
00:33:13.779 --> 00:33:36.019
Yeah and the the best decisions they just take time and information gathering and when it's in the midst of a crisis we fully experienced this with my dad and you just have to make those decisions so quickly that you are getting a minimum baseline of information and making decisions that feel more like well that's good enough.
00:33:36.259 --> 00:33:52.099
We gotta we gotta decide we gotta decide and it's like a a frenzy um right a crisis point where you you don't know for sure if you made the best decision right because you didn't have time to sit back and and think it through carefully.
00:33:52.420 --> 00:33:52.740
Right.
00:33:52.899 --> 00:34:18.740
So and this can bring your family closer together once everybody knows what every everybody wants it can it can bring you um closer together and people who are um who tend they they they'll tend to people tend to recover more quickly when they have a system or a plan in place because they just are following down that path that anxiety and kind of craziness that happens when you don't know what's going on um can also set you back um physically.
00:34:19.059 --> 00:34:42.740
Yeah yeah so taking a look at you know what's been on your mind and what is kind of that worry that you know is unsettled peace I know for me there's paperwork that we need to get organized my husband and I and I'm like okay we need to do that we need to do that and I feel that pressure even though it's not a critical I need it by tomorrow right um looking for that peace of mind.
00:34:42.900 --> 00:34:51.300
So I think uh the best question you could ask yourself is what would your future self thank you for setting up today?
00:34:51.619 --> 00:34:52.180
Yeah.
00:34:52.500 --> 00:35:03.059
Yeah so just imagine what it would be like if it was all set up right so um a fall happens it's okay I mean it's not great but you know where you're going.
00:35:03.219 --> 00:35:37.139
You might go into the hospital for a little bit but when the hospital is ready to just charge you they're like hey you're looking good we're gonna give you about an hour we're gonna get you out of here and you know we're gonna here's a list of places to go but that doesn't freak you out because you have you already know where you're going instead of like you know going oh my gosh how do I even pick places from this list of you know that you have no idea right when your adult kids show up and you say okay they are saying I'm gonna be in rehab for two or three weeks that blue folder in the top desk drawer you can double check on all the bills they should be good but everything's in there.
00:35:37.460 --> 00:35:43.699
Yep we already have a power healthcare a power of attorney and a financial one so we everything is taken care of.
00:35:44.099 --> 00:35:50.980
It's clear what the arrangements are I know where I want to go so your family's not scrambling or guessing or doing anything.
00:35:51.059 --> 00:35:56.019
They're just supporting you and they're like oh great let me call this phone number that's right there and you know it's just handled.
00:35:56.340 --> 00:36:08.980
Yep if you call Susie next door she'll be happy to collect the mail and bring it inside you know those are the kinds of things that are very small but they bring that peace of mind that you know you can get through a situation.
00:36:09.300 --> 00:36:15.940
Yeah I think they're big things I know I know they seem like small things but having lived it in the other way it's definitely they're big things.
00:36:16.500 --> 00:36:20.500
Added together it's the biggest gift you can give yourself and others.
00:36:20.820 --> 00:36:27.539
Yep so all right so what so steps are we're gonna talk about plan B with our uh trusted family members or friends.
00:36:27.699 --> 00:36:50.820
Um identify who has your medical and legal authority tour a couple places right um make a binder so that you know all of your passwords and all of the you know accounts and all of that stuff and then you're gonna relook at it once a year and then you're gonna go on and live your life and feel great about knowing that if something were to happen you're ready for it and it hopefully it's not going to happen.
00:36:51.059 --> 00:37:20.579
Yeah if you need help gathering the information to start this conversation with your family we've got lots of blog articles and information on our website downsizingroadmap.com and if you're ready for someone to kind of help you do this whole strategy um you know including a future move reach out to us uh at the website downsizingroadmap.com backslash help and we'll connect you with the resources that you need for each step of this.
00:37:20.820 --> 00:37:21.139
Yep.
00:37:21.380 --> 00:37:23.860
Okay we'll talk to you next time.
00:37:24.019 --> 00:37:24.099
Okay.
00:37:24.900 --> 00:37:28.019
Thanks for joining us on the Downsizing Roadmap podcast.
00:37:28.179 --> 00:37:36.500
If you found this episode helpful be sure to subscribe leave us a review and share it with someone who might need a little downsizing inspiration.
00:37:36.739 --> 00:37:45.300
Have questions or ideas for future episodes reach out to us on our website www.downsizingroadmap.com.
00:37:45.460 --> 00:37:49.380
Until next time let's keep simplifying and moving forward
00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:07.919
Welcome back to another episode of the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast with your hosts Jody Roscoe and Heather Fisher.
00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:13.439
We're talking about all things downsizing, from our own experiences with clients to guest experts.
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:17.280
Let's make downsizing easier, one conversation at a time.
00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:21.679
Hi, welcome to the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast.
00:00:21.920 --> 00:00:27.120
Today we're talking about what happens if you can't stay independent.
00:00:27.280 --> 00:00:34.399
You've got that plan for aging in place, but this is taking a look at having that plan B in your back pocket.
00:00:34.799 --> 00:00:37.679
Yeah, I think sometimes it's stuff people don't want to talk about.
00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:53.359
And I think some of the things that we do talk about are stuff that's maybe not quite as pleasant to think about, but I think when you have a plan, then it kind of um alleviates that fear in the back of your mind that something could happen and you don't have a plan, right?
00:00:53.679 --> 00:00:59.679
And so um just make the plan and then hope that that's not what you have to, you know, implement necessarily.
00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:00.560
Yeah, exactly.
00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:21.359
I was gonna say the same thing, that gift to yourself of having the information that you need and um you know having that plan ready alleviates so much heaviness and worry and you know tickling at the back of your mind like uh you know, any moment a crisis could come up and you're not ready.
00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:28.560
Yeah, and I think a lot of people just bury their head in the sand and feel like, you know, okay, well, I'll just have I'll just deal with that when it comes.
00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:34.879
But honestly, when you're in crisis, dealing with it is the absolute worst time to do that.
00:01:35.280 --> 00:01:48.879
Um and so um so what we're hoping in all of the things that we talk about are that you create a plan or create a space where you are ready for whatever comes and then hopefully only really fantastic things come.
00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:49.760
Absolutely.
00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:50.879
I'm Heather Fisher.
00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:52.000
I'm Jodie Roscoe.
00:01:52.239 --> 00:02:01.920
And let's uh dive into a couple um parts of that plan B that make it a complete strategy and um able to have their waiting if you ever need it.
00:02:02.239 --> 00:02:02.560
Yeah.
00:02:02.879 --> 00:02:20.639
So planning um for plan B, it's not it's not a failure, it's not, you know, you're assuming bad things are gonna happen, it's not a pessimistic thing, it's actually a positive thing making trying to really alleviate some of that um nervousness or guilt or you know, fear that that something might go wrong and you won't know what to do.
00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:26.560
And nearly 70% of adults over 65 are gonna need some form of long-term care.
00:02:26.719 --> 00:02:28.400
70% is a big number.
00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:36.879
And so um just knowing what that could look like will help not only your brain, but the people who care about you's brain as well.
00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:48.319
Yeah, I think that as adult children, um ourselves, we see those pieces where we have a worry of our parents and wanting to know do they have a plan?
00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:50.560
How can we help them come up with that plan?
00:02:50.719 --> 00:02:57.919
And um, you know, what their wishes would be for different situations that might come up so that we can easily be a help.
00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:02.000
And I think what you said earlier, it's a gift to, you know, everyone.
00:03:02.159 --> 00:03:04.319
I think that is so, so true.
00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:19.520
Um, because if you're in denial or you're, you know, just n afraid to think about it, or you don't want to take the next steps, um, y crisis decisions usually happen fast and they happen emotionally, and you might not even be making the decisions your yourself.
00:03:19.599 --> 00:03:23.919
You know, the kids might be making the decisions or somebody that you care about might be making the decisions.
00:03:24.080 --> 00:03:35.280
So when you plan, it just gives you so many um more opportunity uh to make thoughtful decisions and it gives you more choices of decisions to make the earlier that you do it.
00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:50.080
Yeah, and it actually reinforces the independence uh that is one of the presiding reasons why people avoid this plan B, you know, because they are just fiercely determined to stay independent.
00:03:50.240 --> 00:04:03.520
But by having this plan in place, it's the w best way to, you know, be independent in your finances and your decisions and um you know your health care, all of that because you have it all planned out.
00:04:03.759 --> 00:04:06.159
Yeah, our brains really don't like the unknown.
00:04:06.639 --> 00:04:08.000
They really don't like it.
00:04:08.240 --> 00:04:11.439
And so unknown can be paralyzing.
00:04:11.599 --> 00:04:27.040
Um and so um and the other thing is if it ends up into some kind of a crisis situation and your kids or your loved ones or somebody that you care about has to make decisions for you, um, sometimes there's a lot of guilt around that because they don't know what you want.
00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:37.759
And so, you know, having them just know and not have and and removing that guilt or that uncertainty is really, really helpful for um people.
00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:42.480
Yeah, it's like a instruction manual that's a choose your own adventure.
00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:43.279
Yeah.
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:47.360
I want this, but if this happens instead, here's what you do.
00:04:47.519 --> 00:04:50.079
If this happens instead, here's what I want.
00:04:50.319 --> 00:04:50.480
Right.
00:04:50.560 --> 00:05:00.879
So even the c even though the conversations might be hard or uncomfortable or weird, um, when they're done, you're gonna feel better, and the people that you're talking to about what needs to happen will feel better too.
00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:03.120
Everybody will know that you're all on the same page.
00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:06.639
So um five pillars for a solid plan B.
00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:10.480
Um, number one is medical and health decisions.
00:05:10.720 --> 00:05:15.040
So that is like who is going to speak for you if you can't?
00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:19.680
And what paperwork do you need to make that happen so that they can speak for you?
00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:21.040
Yeah, absolutely.
00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:39.759
And um just making sure you've taken that final step of the wishes you have and making those legal documents because when it comes to finances and health care, um those rules are stringent to have that paperwork in order and current to your current wishes.
00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:51.600
It might be outdated, um, and and having that all in line just gives you that peace of mind that the people you've told what you do want are able to make those things happen for you.
00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:58.720
Yeah, you absolutely need a healthcare proxy, you need you need a medical power of attorney, and you need a living will.
00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:04.000
Um, and so you may need an attorney to help you um put that together.
00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:16.959
Um, but uh hospitals can't just share information uh without um proper paperwork, and so you want to make sure that you have that proper paperwork and everybody knows where it is.
00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:21.199
Um so so you want to make sure that that's all up to date.
00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:33.519
And that's something you want to look at um actually, you know, every six months or a year or something, and all of this is stuff that you probably need to review, you know, on a yearly basis at minimum, or if something big comes up.
00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:48.879
But um you're also gonna want to keep a a list of the medications that you take because when you if you go to the hospital in crisis situation, um they're gonna the hospital's gonna want to know what that is, and you think, oh, but they have it all in file, and yeah, I know.
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:51.519
But they still want the list of all of the things.
00:06:51.600 --> 00:07:06.079
I remember my mom, you know, my grandma was taking like 12 medicines or 15, and like a bag full of medicines, and I remember her like going to the cupboard and trying to write down every medicine, you know, that she was taking because the hospital was asking questions that she didn't know the answers to.
00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:18.480
And so, um, yeah, I think as you know, coming from experience, another good list to have and keep updated is your list of uh doctors and healthcare providers by specialty.
00:07:18.639 --> 00:07:18.879
Yeah.
00:07:19.040 --> 00:07:37.360
I know you know, if there's a crisis, your loved one might end up in the emergency room, um, but that's a whole new set of doctors, and a lot of this information might be available if you knew who to contact for those records and information to be passed back and forth.
00:07:37.519 --> 00:07:44.160
But for my parents, I'm like, I know you go to the cardiologist, but I don't know their name or phone number.
00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:47.439
Um, you know, just having that list in one place.
00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:50.079
Yep, list of doctors and list of medications.
00:07:50.399 --> 00:07:58.160
Who you're picking for your power of um attorney or your your medical power of attorney um should be somebody that's calm under pressure.
00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:03.360
It doesn't necessarily have to be like the oldest child or you know, like specific.
00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:08.240
Like pick somebody who's gonna be calm and listen to what you want your decisions to be.
00:08:08.399 --> 00:08:18.560
You need to talk about what um quality of life wishes that you have, um, because there may be situations where you want something different to happen.
00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:21.199
Um, so talk about all of that stuff.
00:08:21.519 --> 00:08:27.360
Yeah, definitely talk about that role uh beyond just naming them and that being a surprise to someone.
00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:28.160
Right.
00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:31.839
Oh, you're the one who's gonna make the decisions, and I don't know what decisions you want me to make.
00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:40.000
Yeah, so um just having that full conversation of what that role looks like to you and what you would like them to do.
00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:46.000
Yeah, so about housing, about medical treatment, end-of-care life, life care, all of that stuff.
00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:48.799
So um, yeah, okay.
00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:52.879
So secondly, sorry, I got a little lost here.
00:08:53.039 --> 00:08:55.519
Um, okay, so uh housing care.
00:08:55.759 --> 00:09:02.799
So um basically there are all kinds of options here, so that that's something that you need to think about.
00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:04.799
So do you want in-home help?
00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:12.000
Do you want to go to a community that has independent living, assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing?
00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:23.840
Um if uh you you need to we've we talk about this a lot, go tour places, go tour them and see what you like and see what you might you know are uh uh feel comfortable in.
00:09:24.080 --> 00:09:26.240
And some places have no care.
00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:32.320
Some places have independent care and they have assisted living, but they don't have memory care or skilled nursing.
00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:40.799
So um know where you're going because if you get to a place where you might need memory care or skilled nursing, is it okay for you to move to a different place?
00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:41.840
Are you good with that?
00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:49.200
Or are you like, no, I need to be in some place where I can be there the whole time should something, you know, happen where I need that.
00:09:49.519 --> 00:10:03.120
Yeah, and knowing um, you know, prices are subject to change if this is years away, but getting a general sense of the finances at um the places that you're interested in.
00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:13.919
Um we know from touring so many, you know, some places are more of a rental situation, some require a large endowment up front, some give you ownership, some don't.
00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:23.919
I mean, there's a whole gamut and those fit differently to different people's financial situation and what that looks like for future planning.
00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:36.000
So gather that information as well, even if you're not ready, so you don't just fall in love with a community and then realize it doesn't fit the picture you're looking for with your finances.
00:10:36.399 --> 00:10:50.720
Yeah, and if you need help with this and you're really you're thinking I need I'm ready to move to a community soon, um, there are people um who whose job it is to help you um navigate what communities are better, um, and it's usually a free service to you.
00:10:50.799 --> 00:11:02.320
So if you have questions about that, please reach out to us at downsizingroadmap.com and we can kind of direct you in a in a place in a way that um it's we've got some great resources uh for that.
00:11:02.559 --> 00:11:04.559
Yeah, because um that can be overwhelming.
00:11:04.639 --> 00:11:05.519
You can be like, I don't know.
00:11:05.600 --> 00:11:08.639
In some place just because it's pretty doesn't mean it has the perfect care.
00:11:08.799 --> 00:11:17.759
And you know, so you just need to know what what's gonna work well for you for your care, for your your lifestyle, for your finances, like all of that.
00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:24.320
Yeah, and that includes in-home care, um, just getting a sense of the cost of that.
00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:34.559
Um, I know we've been in in informational seminars before where full-time 24-hour in-home care is the most expensive option.
00:11:34.879 --> 00:11:45.600
So I think sometimes people think, oh, well, I'm staying at home, so it can't nearly it can't cost nearly as much, but you're getting that one-on-one person in your home.
00:11:45.759 --> 00:11:59.120
Um, so something to consider, just you know, for the time you need a little bit of care, that's the path you want to go down until what changes that moves it to the next level.
00:11:59.519 --> 00:12:01.519
I think people, many people want to stay.
00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:03.360
They they're like, I just want to stay at home.
00:12:03.519 --> 00:12:19.279
And I think they don't realize the cost of what that is, and if because the cost is so high, what that usually means that you're gonna have to have, you know, some kind of a support system of your family and your friends or whatever that looks like because the cost is really high if you have nursing care 24 hours a day.
00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:23.200
Um and so things to think about, you know, who who would that be?
00:12:23.360 --> 00:12:35.519
You know, it's okay if you have a if you have a group of people that are good and you want to um, you know, you have a great support system and they can create a calendar and it all you know works, but it's all conversations that need to be had.
00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:45.200
So it doesn't, it's not just kind of like a willy-nilly like, oh well, this one person's gonna go ahead and take care of me all the time every day, and you know, that's a surprise that you're not expecting.
00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:45.919
Yeah.
00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:54.960
And some people thrive socially in, you know, communities because isolation, I mean, being home 24 hours a day by yourself isn't good for us, honestly.
00:12:55.279 --> 00:12:58.000
Um, so that's something to think about as well.
00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:15.360
And also, if you are gonna stay at home, you may need to talk to a company or somebody um about grab bars and about um you know ways to to make it safe at home, first floor living, what kind of lighting there is, how many stairs there are, how you're gonna navigate all of those things.
00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:30.000
So if this is um, you know, a future down the road, plan B, and you your ultimate goal is to age at home, are you in the right home to sell yourself to do that is another part of that plan.
00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:31.039
Yep.
00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:35.120
Okay, um the third pillar is um financial ready readiness.
00:13:35.279 --> 00:13:38.159
So do you know what that care could cost?
00:13:38.559 --> 00:13:44.320
So average assisted living is somewhere between five and six thousand dollars a month.
00:13:44.559 --> 00:13:50.720
Um, and that's not that's not nursing care, that's not skilled nursing care or um memory care or any of that.
00:13:50.879 --> 00:13:52.799
That is um assisted living.
00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:55.679
So um, do you have long-term care insurance?
00:13:55.919 --> 00:13:57.919
Who has it and what does it cover?
00:13:58.399 --> 00:14:01.279
Um you might have been paying on that a long time.
00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:08.000
Um if you already are a little bit older, long-term care insurance may just be out of the reach of money, you know, to spend.
00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:14.879
Like long-term care insurance is something you probably need to get and when you're a little bit earlier to have it even be a reasonable amount of money.
00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:26.480
Well, and I would say if you did get it earlier, um make sure you review back um to the that that um declaration page as to what it covers you.
00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:30.799
Um, you know, is it a lump sum available for whatever you need?
00:14:31.039 --> 00:14:36.799
Is it a daily supplement which may not cover the full cost of what you're thinking it will?
00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:38.399
There's a lot of caveats.
00:14:38.559 --> 00:14:42.559
So if it's been a long time and you've just been paying on it, that's great.
00:14:42.720 --> 00:15:01.279
But just make sure you know if you're talking to estate planners or financial planners that you don't just assume you have that as a as a bucket that will solve a problem until you either review it yourself or have someone else explain um, you know, how it actu how your policy actually works.
00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:02.159
Right, right.
00:15:02.240 --> 00:15:09.679
They're all different and some of them were made a long time ago and what seemed like was gonna be, you know, covering things may or may not do that.
00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:30.320
So Yeah, we had that happen in my own family, and my parents had bought it uh many, many years ago, and when it came time to needing it for my dad, um, you know, the only mental trigger my mom had was her recollection of you know the salesman per se at the kitchen table selling it to them years ago.
00:15:30.799 --> 00:15:49.200
Years ago, at least twenty-five years prior to when it was needed, and the nuts and bolts of the policy were still a big help and you know, glad that they had had it, but it wasn't quite what she anticipated uh working logistically the way she anticipated.
00:15:49.279 --> 00:15:53.120
So just make sure you review um what your benefits actually are.
00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:56.320
And while you're at it, all your paperwork needs to be in order.
00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:12.720
So we've talked about that, um, getting all of your paperwork together, and you might be even um it might even be time to talk to, you know, a state uh lawyer or elder care um lawyer that can help you protect some of your assets if that needs to happen.
00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:22.320
It might be worthwhile to have that conversation, especially if you're already talking to somebody, a lawyer that you're gonna get your um power of attorney and you know, living well, all of that stuff.
00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:31.200
You just it may be just a whole package of talking to an estate attorney about what financially that could look like and how you know do you need it in a trust?
00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:32.399
Do you not need it in a trust?
00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:34.879
Like they have answers to all of those questions.
00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:41.039
And you'll want to get all of your paperwork, your accounts, your passwords, all of your policies in one place.
00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:42.879
Um you need to do this anyways.
00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:52.720
All of us need to do this no matter how old you are, um, because anybody could, you know, have to go into the hospital for a minute and have somebody have to take over paying their bills or, you know, looking after that stuff.
00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:58.320
So paperwork needs to be all together in one place and the people that you care about need to know where it is.
00:16:58.480 --> 00:16:59.279
Um all of that.
00:16:59.759 --> 00:17:02.639
I think there's two levels of that question.
00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:10.720
Um the one is asking yourself, could some someone step in tomorrow and pay my bills and manage my household?
00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:18.160
So that would be uh, you know, the passwords for your bank accounts and um you know all of those day-to-day pieces.
00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:21.759
Where do bills come by email or postal mail mail?
00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:23.519
Where can someone look for it?
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:49.759
Um, and then that other layer of could my finances be easily sorted out, you know, in a permanent basis if you're no longer here, and that's uh things like making sure you've named a beneficiary to your bank accounts and that your car and you know, all of the whether it's a trust or a different plan with your estate attorney, um, both that day-to-day level and that long-term planning.
00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:54.880
Yeah, and the other thing is um you may need some emergency funds for transitions.
00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:56.480
So do you have those in place?
00:17:56.720 --> 00:17:58.799
Um is the money all in your house?
00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:11.200
If that's the case, maybe we need to get, you know, a a little second, you know, mortgage on the house just to give to give the give you an opportunity to take some of the money from the house and make your transition.
00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:27.359
Um, you know, th there's lots of ways that that can be handled, um, but you want to make sure that you do have a little bit of a bucket of money for transition time because that can come quickly and they can be like, okay, here's how much money we need, and you might have access to it, but not liquid access to it.
00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:29.119
So know what that can look like.
00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:30.799
Yeah, absolutely.
00:18:31.519 --> 00:18:34.079
The fourth pillar is legal legal authority.
00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:45.359
So we we already talked a little bit about that, but um make sure that you have your durable power of attorney, that you have a will, that your beneficiaries are um listed on all of your things.
00:18:45.519 --> 00:18:48.799
Maybe your bank account needs to be shared with somebody, maybe not.
00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:57.359
But all of that is whether gonna determine what happens if you don't have them and eventually when you're gone, what happens if you don't have them?
00:18:57.519 --> 00:19:00.480
Is your is your property going through probate probate?
00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:02.480
Is you know, is there a delay?
00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:06.799
Is there stress in the family on that, or can we make that a smoother transition?
00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:08.720
Um whatever that looks like.
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:20.400
That can be planning ahead for your funeral and um those arrangements to get through that transition as well, just having that peace of mind knowing that that's all handled.
00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:32.640
Yeah, and having the documents is part of it, but knowing what the person that needs to know where they are, knowing where they are, and you know, all of that, knowing who the lawyer is, if they have questions, all of you know, all of that information is important.
00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:35.680
Um and the other thing is again, this stuff needs to be reviewed.
00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:52.559
You need to set it up, but then it needs to be reviewed annually, maybe, um, but also if there's a death, if there's a divorce, if there's a remarriage, um more children born into your family that you may want to include in uh what you're passing on.
00:19:52.880 --> 00:19:58.160
If you relocate to a different state to make sure that the it's you know okay in whatever state that you're in.
00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:03.759
So um any kind of big life changes, you want to also take a look at it again.
00:20:51.700 --> 00:20:51.940
Yeah.
00:20:52.180 --> 00:21:03.619
And if you've done the hard work of having the baseline all set up, those reviews um should be much simpler than sorting through it all at once um, you know, in a crisis.
00:21:04.019 --> 00:21:09.940
Yeah, and we've talked about this on each level, but i the fifth one is the communication plan, like who knows the plan?
00:21:10.819 --> 00:21:16.339
Who knows where the pattern what the plan is and how how often do you revisit that?
00:21:16.579 --> 00:21:26.339
And you know, you might you need to, you know, probably keep it all in a life binder or a you know, filing drawer cabinet, like a one that's fireproof, you know, if possible.
00:21:26.659 --> 00:21:37.859
Um keep it all together so that somebody could easily find it, knows where it is, and it's organized in a way that um they can use it without even you helping them, right?
00:21:38.019 --> 00:21:45.940
So um not not things that need to be all explained and oh this is here, but then that's over in that other drawer, and then this is over, you know, just all together.
00:21:46.579 --> 00:21:59.379
Yeah, and clearly labeled, I think, too, especially if um you're holding on to old paperwork for whatever reason that you are, but it's accounts you don't have anymore, or things like that.
00:21:59.700 --> 00:22:02.099
That becomes very confusing.
00:22:02.259 --> 00:22:12.259
Like this one looks like a mortgage, this one looks like a mortgage, this one looks like a mortgage, but it could have been refinances through the years, it they could all be paid off.
00:22:12.659 --> 00:22:14.099
Bank accounts that have been closed.
00:22:14.259 --> 00:22:20.500
I had that with my mom, and I had to call all the places, I'm like, they're like, you know, to find out if it was still real or not real.
00:22:20.579 --> 00:22:38.659
Like, you know, you don't know all of the things that's so we talk about that often when we're talking about downsizing paperwork, um, but we all end up with file cabinets where you keep filing the new stuff, and even if it's organized when it goes in, you know, this is the bank for the mortgage or whatever.
00:22:38.899 --> 00:22:51.619
If you don't re-take that out or at least write on the cover of the folder that it was paid off and here's the date, um you just create a lot of confusion by not going through and and auditing that.
00:22:52.019 --> 00:22:52.980
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:53.059 --> 00:22:56.819
You definitely d some other things that we haven't really talked about.
00:22:56.980 --> 00:23:01.539
So in this in this communication plan, we're going to talk about everything.
00:23:01.859 --> 00:23:07.139
You, your stuff, you know, your wishes for your funeral, like all of that stuff.
00:23:07.299 --> 00:23:13.059
Your pets, what's going to happen to your pets, like have a conversation with that, you know, with somebody about that.
00:23:13.299 --> 00:23:24.899
Even your home maintenance contacts, who's mowing the lawn, who's doing things that you know you're going to have, they're going to have to contact them and tell them, you know, keep doing this, don't keep doing this, whatever, you know, all of the things.
00:23:25.139 --> 00:23:51.859
So whatever you're paying anybody for anything, you know, that all needs to be kind of laid out so somebody could come follow behind and um and make sure you have your k your password to your phone in there as well if you have a password to your phone because if anybody's trying to figure out what your password is because you didn't leave them leave them all and then they try to reset it, they'll set it they'll send something to the phone and if you can't open the phone to find it, that's also a problem.
00:23:51.940 --> 00:24:25.379
So yeah that daily um service list is super helpful if you're just moving to a community and you know your adult kids are helping with the house if they know who you routinely call for your HVAC or your plumbing or they know they need to reach out to the lawn service to you know continue during the transition and cancel you know on whatever date when that's all gathered that can easily take some of that burden of the transition off of everyone's plate.
00:24:25.460 --> 00:24:26.420
It's much faster.
00:24:26.740 --> 00:24:31.700
Because you know if if a crisis happens it's already stressful.
00:24:31.859 --> 00:24:37.379
Like we don't need more stress on now who do I do this and you know lots of figuring out of things.
00:24:37.460 --> 00:24:39.700
Like we need as much calm as possible.
00:24:40.019 --> 00:25:10.259
Yeah and if you can quickly solve some of these things um you can streamline the process and um you know save little money bleeds like okay we can cancel the cable because we're not living here we can you know cancel the landline phone because no one's here and you know they can be smaller amounts but they all add up and when you're making that transition you want your finances to be serving you not paying for services at a house you don't live in.
00:25:10.579 --> 00:25:17.700
Well and if your family is scrambling trying to figure out this and that and the other thing they're not spending the time with you because they're doing that.
00:25:17.859 --> 00:25:20.740
They would much rather be spending the time with you.
00:25:20.980 --> 00:25:22.180
So um yeah.
00:25:22.420 --> 00:25:34.579
All right segment three what um what if you don't have somebody what if you're doing planning this as a solo ager like what if you don't have kids that you can say okay this is the person or you know brothers and sisters or whatever.
00:25:34.740 --> 00:25:39.379
So um it's important for you to just build a circle of trust even if it's not your family.
00:25:39.539 --> 00:25:50.180
So I'm you know whoever that is doesn't have to be your family but you just have to have the right paperwork to show that this is the person that you want to make the decisions for you.
00:25:50.500 --> 00:26:10.339
Yeah sometimes that can be your attorney you know acting as your representative sometimes it's a close family friend or a more distant relative that you're still close to even if the relationship technically is is more distant, you know, a cousin or something like that.
00:26:11.619 --> 00:26:13.619
But just having that support system in place.
00:26:13.940 --> 00:26:16.259
Yeah we see nieces and nephews and all of that stuff.
00:26:16.659 --> 00:26:21.619
There are geriatric care managers that you can also you know hire to do that.
00:26:21.779 --> 00:26:24.339
So lots of lots of options.
00:26:24.740 --> 00:26:49.059
There's some great patient advocates as well if you're in a community and you're just having some trouble solving some issues that are feeling like problems there are great patient advocates that can step in and and help you navigate talking with staff and directors if you need that and don't have a team from your family helping.
00:26:49.460 --> 00:26:58.500
Yeah and maybe the neighbors can help maybe they help you know mow the lawn or have somebody or you know pull in some other people but honestly our friends are our family that we pick, right?
00:26:58.659 --> 00:27:04.980
And so those people are probably the ones that you need to to really reach out to and figure out what that looks like.
00:27:05.700 --> 00:27:10.500
And if you don't want to put burden on them then I would say attorney or some kind of a care provider.
00:27:10.819 --> 00:27:33.460
Yeah absolutely we see that so often as we're dealing with that interim time of someone's moved to a community and the um the house is getting ready to go on the market but not yet and oh the neighbor most met so many neighbors at the door coming to check on the process and places or grab your groceries or you know all of the things.
00:27:33.779 --> 00:27:42.740
Yeah absolutely yeah yeah um yeah so it's just about creating the community if you don't have that you know those blood ties.
00:27:43.220 --> 00:28:00.659
Yeah absolutely all right so what are signs when it's time to reevaluate your independence so what kind of red flags are we talking about that might maybe think hey I probably need to do something here so multiple falls um this is so so common falling at home is so so common.
00:28:00.819 --> 00:28:10.339
Yeah um and so uh if that's happening that that's probably uh indication that the place that you are um isn't working for you.
00:28:10.659 --> 00:28:29.059
Yeah and stage one could be making it more uh mobility friendly moving removing some area rugs or fixing some trip hazards and then step two if that advances is okay we we went through that phase now it's still not working what's the next step?
00:28:29.379 --> 00:28:48.980
Yeah um medication mismanagement you're forgetting to take your medication maybe you've missed some bills over confusion you know conf or some confusion over money maybe hygiene changes are happening you're not taking a shower as often because that's really difficult or things like that.
00:28:49.700 --> 00:29:03.940
Isolation and withdrawal are also signs that you know you're not doing as well um by yourself as you you thought you might want to be you don't want to do the things that you used to do you know all of that.
00:29:04.180 --> 00:29:11.779
So we we both of our families ended up in houses where the full baths were upstairs and the stairs were a problem.
00:29:12.579 --> 00:29:22.899
And so I think just noticing and accepting that that's what's going on and um being willing to move you know forward in a different direction with it.
00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:26.980
Yeah I think that um nutrition changes is a big one too.
00:29:27.539 --> 00:29:30.420
And sometimes I mean it can be from various reasons.
00:29:30.579 --> 00:29:43.139
It could be the difficulty of getting out from the house to bring groceries in it could be the energy and um managing cooking um you know and preparing the food.
00:29:43.460 --> 00:29:51.940
It could be some memory issues of just forgetting you know three meals a day and not noticing when you've missed a meal.
00:29:52.259 --> 00:29:54.579
My grandma would be like I'm just gonna have some tea and toast.
00:29:54.899 --> 00:30:00.420
Yeah yeah and a lot of energy that's the energy drain of it's too much.
00:30:00.819 --> 00:30:07.379
I can do that easily and the alternative is a lot more than I can handle today or every day.
00:30:07.779 --> 00:30:08.019
Right.
00:30:08.180 --> 00:30:14.339
But tea and toast doesn't have a lot of um nutritional value um and so you've got to be careful with that.
00:30:14.420 --> 00:30:16.659
So maybe you reframe your support, right?
00:30:16.740 --> 00:30:24.099
Maybe you get a housekeeper to help you clean a little bit or maybe you have meal deliveries or um you know do something like that.
00:30:24.420 --> 00:30:29.299
Maybe you get some trans people to help with transportation and um medication management.
00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:42.500
Even in the beginning it can just be you know the box that you have fill what you know at the beginning of the week and then you just know which pills you're supposed to be taking and if they're gone out of the box you know the little section of the container you know you took them.
00:30:42.740 --> 00:30:42.899
Yeah.
00:30:43.299 --> 00:30:48.259
So none none of it always it ha it doesn't it it kind of is a slow progression, right?
00:30:48.339 --> 00:30:54.819
And so but if that's where you're at then you know maybe that's something that you need to look forward into what the next steps are going to be.
00:30:55.139 --> 00:31:09.779
Yeah absolutely there are definitely uh graduated red flags and you start noticing them and then there are initial solutions you can put in place until those are also showing the red flags of not working any longer.
00:31:10.180 --> 00:31:25.859
And I think what happens is because it happens slowly we just get used to it for ourselves and we're like oh this is just hard but I'm just used and then it gets harder and you just kind of suck it up and instead maybe having that courage to ask yourself like what's some what support could make this better?
00:31:26.019 --> 00:31:28.819
Like this isn't working what could what could make it better?
00:31:28.980 --> 00:31:30.899
How could we you know fix it a little bit?
00:31:31.220 --> 00:31:48.659
Yeah and that is back to what we say all the time our five steps that dream it if these things are just making life harder for you how can you free that burden and um you know get a little more ease yeah with the solution.
00:31:49.139 --> 00:31:49.299
Right.
00:31:49.539 --> 00:31:54.099
So and they're not failures it's signals they're just telling you what's you know what's going on.
00:31:54.259 --> 00:31:56.339
So you just have to listen to the signals sometimes.
00:31:56.420 --> 00:32:03.220
So yeah okay so segment five what peace of mind is actually gonna look like once you've done these things.
00:32:03.460 --> 00:32:03.700
Yeah.
00:32:04.420 --> 00:32:06.420
So you're gonna sleep better at night.
00:32:06.659 --> 00:32:06.980
Yeah.
00:32:07.220 --> 00:32:07.539
Yeah.
00:32:07.859 --> 00:32:13.779
And the loved ones your loved ones are gonna know what you want and so that's gonna let them sleep better at night honestly.
00:32:14.899 --> 00:32:18.500
Because I didn't know a lot my mom didn't want to talk about all of this stuff.
00:32:18.579 --> 00:32:22.099
Um and I tried to get her to talk about it and she did not want to.
00:32:22.579 --> 00:32:35.940
But that really gave me you know anxiety because I was like I don't really know what she wants and then I guess at the end of it all it was like well it must not have been that important to her so I'm gonna have to make the decisions but it still felt heavy.
00:32:36.099 --> 00:32:42.019
It still felt really heavy and I think um everybody will feel lighter lighter if you have these conversations.
00:32:42.339 --> 00:32:54.500
Yeah absolutely um you also avoid like reactive or high stress decisions when you're in crisis and sometimes when we are in high stress and we're being reactive we don't make the best decisions.
00:32:55.460 --> 00:33:04.980
And so we want to make sure that we're clear thinking and being able to make those decisions in from a place of um thoughtfulness and not a place of panic.
00:33:05.539 --> 00:33:10.099
And so that will also make you feel better that you know what the path is.
00:33:10.339 --> 00:33:13.460
Hopefully the path won't be here for quite some time but you know what it is.
00:33:13.779 --> 00:33:36.019
Yeah and the the best decisions they just take time and information gathering and when it's in the midst of a crisis we fully experienced this with my dad and you just have to make those decisions so quickly that you are getting a minimum baseline of information and making decisions that feel more like well that's good enough.
00:33:36.259 --> 00:33:52.099
We gotta we gotta decide we gotta decide and it's like a a frenzy um right a crisis point where you you don't know for sure if you made the best decision right because you didn't have time to sit back and and think it through carefully.
00:33:52.420 --> 00:33:52.740
Right.
00:33:52.899 --> 00:34:18.740
So and this can bring your family closer together once everybody knows what every everybody wants it can it can bring you um closer together and people who are um who tend they they they'll tend to people tend to recover more quickly when they have a system or a plan in place because they just are following down that path that anxiety and kind of craziness that happens when you don't know what's going on um can also set you back um physically.
00:34:19.059 --> 00:34:42.740
Yeah yeah so taking a look at you know what's been on your mind and what is kind of that worry that you know is unsettled peace I know for me there's paperwork that we need to get organized my husband and I and I'm like okay we need to do that we need to do that and I feel that pressure even though it's not a critical I need it by tomorrow right um looking for that peace of mind.
00:34:42.900 --> 00:34:51.300
So I think uh the best question you could ask yourself is what would your future self thank you for setting up today?
00:34:51.619 --> 00:34:52.180
Yeah.
00:34:52.500 --> 00:35:03.059
Yeah so just imagine what it would be like if it was all set up right so um a fall happens it's okay I mean it's not great but you know where you're going.
00:35:03.219 --> 00:35:37.139
You might go into the hospital for a little bit but when the hospital is ready to just charge you they're like hey you're looking good we're gonna give you about an hour we're gonna get you out of here and you know we're gonna here's a list of places to go but that doesn't freak you out because you have you already know where you're going instead of like you know going oh my gosh how do I even pick places from this list of you know that you have no idea right when your adult kids show up and you say okay they are saying I'm gonna be in rehab for two or three weeks that blue folder in the top desk drawer you can double check on all the bills they should be good but everything's in there.
00:35:37.460 --> 00:35:43.699
Yep we already have a power healthcare a power of attorney and a financial one so we everything is taken care of.
00:35:44.099 --> 00:35:50.980
It's clear what the arrangements are I know where I want to go so your family's not scrambling or guessing or doing anything.
00:35:51.059 --> 00:35:56.019
They're just supporting you and they're like oh great let me call this phone number that's right there and you know it's just handled.
00:35:56.340 --> 00:36:08.980
Yep if you call Susie next door she'll be happy to collect the mail and bring it inside you know those are the kinds of things that are very small but they bring that peace of mind that you know you can get through a situation.
00:36:09.300 --> 00:36:15.940
Yeah I think they're big things I know I know they seem like small things but having lived it in the other way it's definitely they're big things.
00:36:16.500 --> 00:36:20.500
Added together it's the biggest gift you can give yourself and others.
00:36:20.820 --> 00:36:27.539
Yep so all right so what so steps are we're gonna talk about plan B with our uh trusted family members or friends.
00:36:27.699 --> 00:36:50.820
Um identify who has your medical and legal authority tour a couple places right um make a binder so that you know all of your passwords and all of the you know accounts and all of that stuff and then you're gonna relook at it once a year and then you're gonna go on and live your life and feel great about knowing that if something were to happen you're ready for it and it hopefully it's not going to happen.
00:36:51.059 --> 00:37:20.579
Yeah if you need help gathering the information to start this conversation with your family we've got lots of blog articles and information on our website downsizingroadmap.com and if you're ready for someone to kind of help you do this whole strategy um you know including a future move reach out to us uh at the website downsizingroadmap.com backslash help and we'll connect you with the resources that you need for each step of this.
00:37:20.820 --> 00:37:21.139
Yep.
00:37:21.380 --> 00:37:23.860
Okay we'll talk to you next time.
00:37:24.019 --> 00:37:24.099
Okay.
00:37:24.900 --> 00:37:28.019
Thanks for joining us on the Downsizing Roadmap podcast.
00:37:28.179 --> 00:37:36.500
If you found this episode helpful be sure to subscribe leave us a review and share it with someone who might need a little downsizing inspiration.
00:37:36.739 --> 00:37:45.300
Have questions or ideas for future episodes reach out to us on our website www.downsizingroadmap.com.
00:37:45.460 --> 00:37:49.380
Until next time let's keep simplifying and moving forward
