4 Essential Lessons for Young Men to Succeed in Life

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Once you get older, you got to recognize nobody can live your life and create your results.
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Nobody's going to do it but you.
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You have to become a version of yourself that can go out in the world and achieve the things you want to achieve.
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Purpose doesn't just come by sitting around doing nothing.
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Purpose is something that you find oftentimes going through life's adversity.
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Welcome back to another episode of the Unstoppable Mindset Podcast.
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I'm your host, sean Crane, and I'm grateful to be here today with you guys.
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It's been a couple weeks since I sat down and recorded a podcast.
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The world's been crazy lately.
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Last week Charlie Kirk was assassinated.
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There's so much polarizing energy in our nation right now and it's really got people shook up.
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So today I've thought well, I'm going to address a lot of things, but the first thing I want to talk about is what I would do if I was a young person and my best advice for men between the age of 15 and 22 who are feeling lost, stuck or just lacking direction in their lives.
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You know, sometimes people come up and go.
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What would you tell your younger self?
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What would you tell your younger self?
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Well, if I think about my younger self at the age of 15,.
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What I would tell that person is you're going to have to go through a lot of challenges and a lot of adversity to figure out your path in this life.
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Don't shy away from those moments.
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Lean into them and grow through them every step of the way.
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And that's what I would tell young men in our country right now Don't numb yourself, don't check out right.
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Stay present and grow stronger through the adversity that you're all facing, because that's what's going to shape and mold you into a better person.
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But really, for young people, young men, I'm speaking to you.
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If you have a son at home, if you have a family member, if you know a young man that's lacking direction or purpose in his life, I want you to share this message with him.
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The most important thing as a young man that you need to focus on developing is strength, mental strength, physical strength and spiritual strength.
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Because here's the truth when you're a little boy, when you're a kid, when you're an adolescent, you got your parents to lean on.
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You got your parents to lean on.
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You got your school teachers.
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You got people in society that are going to look after you.
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Once you get older, you got to recognize nobody can live your life and create your results.
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Nobody's going to do it but you.
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You have to become a version of yourself that can go out in the world and achieve the things you want to achieve.
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You see, a lot of young men don't have inner strength, they don't have mental strength, they don't have the core belief in themselves that's going to allow them to go off and achieve life the way they want to live it, and they get lost and they start blowing like a leaf in the breeze and they just lose their purpose or focus in their life.
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So today I want to bring attention to how you young men can build that strength that I'm describing in a way that's going to give you clarity, focus and purpose in your life.
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Purpose doesn't just come by sitting around doing nothing.
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Purpose is something that you find oftentimes going through life's challenges and life's adversity.
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Now, when I was a little kid maybe a lot of you guys listen to this can relate when you're a little kid, you have more certainty than ever at times.
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You know what you want, you know who you want to be and it feels possible.
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But then what happens is you start going through life and you start to become more self-conscious.
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You start comparing yourself to others.
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Maybe you go through some hard times, you have a couple failed attempts at things and now suddenly you lack confidence and belief in yourself.
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At least, this is what happened to me as a young child.
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I wanted to be a professional baseball player.
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I love life, I love sports, but I went through some heartaches and hardships at home with my parents and all of a sudden I went from somebody who had certainties to someone who had no certainty and no direction, and I had to go through a lot of adversity and a lot of challenges in my life and make a lot of mistakes to finally get clear on who I wanted to be.
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This is the first thing is like your core identity about who you want to be, that authentic, truest, best version of yourself.
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That's the person that you got to hold on to through life's ups and downs.
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But then there's a couple of things, a handful of things, that you need to focus on developing within yourself so that you can evolve into the person that can achieve your goals and dreams in life.
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The first thing is your mindset.
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For those of you listening right now, your mindset is the way that you think, it's your beliefs and it's the perception in which you see the world.
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Now, the way that you talk to yourself, your self-talk, the way you're thinking on a daily basis, is going to affect every aspect of your life.
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When I'm coaching men and business owners and people that want to achieve the ultimate life, the first thing that I focus on is their daily self-talk.
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Is the way that you're talking to yourself building you up.
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Is it giving you hope for the future?
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Is it helping you to see all the opportunities around you, or are you berating yourself?
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Are you getting down on yourself?
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Are you negative about your circumstances?
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Are you looking at life with the glass half empty?
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If that's you right now, you need to wake up and recognize that your self-talk is going to affect every part of your life.
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When you have a thought that affects your emotional state, that emotional state is going to affect your actions or the way that you do things.
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If you're negative and pessimistic in your self-talk, you're going to be half-assing stuff in your life.
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You're more likely to be rude or just negative or just blase right Around other people in conversations and in everyday life.
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Is that the person you think that's going to create greatness?
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No, it's not, and you see, when you have negative self-talk or your self-talk is just not optimized, it's going to also affect your perception.
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So this is the first thing.
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When I think of mindset, right, I think of you being able to discern the way you think and challenge any thoughts that don't serve you.
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From this moment going forward, every time you have a negative thought or a thought that's not hopeful or optimistic, you need to challenge it right then and there and ask yourself why am I thinking negatively?
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Why am I pessimistic?
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Why don't I believe this is possible?
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Why am I looking at the situation through this lens?
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Your self-talk is going to dictate every aspect of your life and how you show up on a daily basis.
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This is the first thing that you got to get clear on, because that leads into the next thing I want to bring to your attention.
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It's your habits and daily actions.
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Okay, so so your mindset is a lot of things.
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It's your beliefs, it's your self-talk, it's your perception, but there's also something else that's very important, that's intertwined with your mindset and just your overall identity, and that's your sense of self-worth and competence.
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Okay, this could also be described as esteem or confidence.
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When you believe in yourself, you're more likely to go after what you want.
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Okay, and so your habits is the second thing that I want you to focus on each and every day.
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Number one's mindset.
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Number two is your habits.
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What are you doing every day to build yourself up?
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So, for young men I think about kids all over the country right now who are glued to their cell phones they're playing video games all day long You're not going to build a strong sense of competence and confidence to go out into the world and crush it and achieve your goals sitting behind a computer desk playing video games all day long.
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That's for little kids.
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But at some point you got to be able to let that go or minimize the amount of time you're playing video games, because in the real world that doesn't equate to skills that can really produce results.
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Okay, so, as a young man between the age of 15 and 25, the number one way to develop the mindset that I alluded to a little bit ago, so you can have that optimistic self-talk and you can develop confidence in yourself, is by doing things every day that build you up and make you proud of who you are.
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This is one of the most important things in life, if not the most important thing to develop certainty in your ability and develop confidence to go after what you truly want.
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I want to share with you guys a quick little story, okay, if you don't know where I come from.
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What I went through at 23, I was facing life in prison.
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I was stuck in a six bite cell all day long.
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I couldn't leave, and I remember I just recognized that I had to do something to help pass the time, something to help me to make sense of my situation, something to help me to do something constructive and positive in that cell.
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And so I started doing a handful of things every day that, at the end of the day, made me feel proud of the way I lived that day.
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Right, it didn't really matter what I was doing.
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It was how I was doing it to the best of my ability and the fact that I was doing everything in my power just to make that day count.
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All I could do was read, write and work out.
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And I started doing those things every single day.
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I'd read a book, I'd write letters home and I would work out, and I would do those things.
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And I didn't know what certain words meant.
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I started looking them up in a little pocket dictionary I had and I started making a vocab list and I started studying that list every day.
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That's how bad.
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I wanted to improve my letters.
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When I wrote them home to family members, I would work on my penmanship, I'd work on my grammar and my spelling and I would perfect that letter back home.
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And then when I'd work out, same thing, I would work out to exhaustion.
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I'd work out so I couldn't do another push-up, and every push-up I did, every burpee, every squat, everything I did in that cell had to be done to the best of my ability.
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In a very short period of time, I felt so much esteem, so much self-love and gratitude and pride swell up inside of me because of the attention to details giving to those endeavors, and I was doing it consistently.
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And this is something I see missing on the youth.
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Nowadays, in 2025, young people aren't doing things every day that build up their sense of confidence and competence in themselves.
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So, if you're a young person, this is why getting involved in sports is so important.
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This is why going to the gym and working out, doing things every day that challenge yourself, okay, what are your habits, what are your daily routines as a young person, if you want to get an edge on the rest of the world and you want to build yourself up into somebody who could achieve anything they want.
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It comes down to your daily habits.
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The habits that I'd recommend that you start partaking in are reading right, working out and also spending time around other like-minded people.
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Okay, we're going to get into relationships in a little bit, but your routines and your habits.
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That becomes who you are.
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So I want you to look at your life right now and ask yourself what am I doing each and every day that's building me into a better person?
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Am I maximizing my days?
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Am I making each and every day count?
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Now, as a young person, you want to be able to have some fun.
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You got to get out there and experience life right.
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That life experience is going to teach you more than anything.
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You're going to make mistakes.
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You're going to do things you regret.
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That's okay.
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That's part of being young, but it doesn't mean each and every day you can't be building yourself up by stacking these small wins every day.
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Pick a book to read right, pick a gym to start going to Get a workout partner.
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Set some short-term goals when it comes to your health, your fitness, things that are important to you.
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Those daily habits are going to grow and blossom later on in life into a belief system, into a track record of being someone that can get results and becoming someone who says when they say they're going to do something, they do it.
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And this is one of the most important things is like.
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If you can have that consistency in the way you live, demonstrating through your daily actions that you're somebody that's going after life, you're improving yourself.
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Your subconscious mind starts to grab hold of that as a core belief of somebody who's winning in life, someone who's going out and getting results, and this is going to carry over to the bigger moments in life.
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Now that brings me to the third thing that all young people need to focus on, especially young men, is developing skill sets.
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What skill sets are you developing right now that are going to help you to make money later on in life, to be valuable in the workforce or to start your own business, to go out and create a life that you truly want?
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Right?
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Skill sets are so important.
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Right now.
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You're seeing a lot of young people that go to college and they get out of college and they don't really have a great career path.
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They don't get selected for this job that pays them a lot of money, with a lot of benefits.
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If anything, they're going and looking for these mediocre jobs and it's like how does that make sense?
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You need to sit back and look at what are wealthy people doing.
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What are these business owners, these content creators maybe it's people on social media you look up to.
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Maybe it's an entrepreneur you look up to.
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Start studying them and asking yourself like, what skill sets have they developed in order to get to that level in life?
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And this is something that all young people should be doing is studying individuals that are further ahead than them, who have the success they want, and asking yourself like how can I become like that in your own way?
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Right, something that you're passionate about?
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Maybe you want to be a photographer, right?
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Maybe you're an artist.
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Maybe you want to do coaching online, or be a content creator, or a speaker, or a business owner, an entrepreneur in some various degrees, right, investing real estate?
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There's so many different options out there.
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So if you guys are on social media, make sure that you're using social media to observe what other people are doing, so you can start to recognize what are the skills that I need to develop.
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Okay, what are the skills that I need to develop to become valuable?
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Honestly, one of the most valuable skill sets you can develop.
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There's two of them that stand out to me right now.
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Number one is the ability to speak and articulate a message that's meaningful, with conviction, with emotion, with passion, in a way that gets people's attention.
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Okay, that's a skill set that you can utilize in so many different ways.
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Whether you're just trying to pick up a girl and maybe it's your future wife and ask her on a date, whether it's some business partners and some guys you're talking to about an idea you have, whether it's content creation on social media, you know, the ability to articulate yourself with confidence and clarity is a superpower.
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It's such a valuable skill set.
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The second one that I'm thinking about is what I'm doing right now, and that's sharing a message online.
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If you guys learn how to use social media to your advantage and not be consumers but be creators somebody who's putting out, you know, valuable information, someone who's building connections or relationships online and someone who's using social media to also observe what other people are doing you start to develop these different skill sets right that now are going to be valuable for you over time.
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So for you, young people, I want you to think about that like the traditional route of going to college and just getting a nine to five.
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That's going to lead to just a mediocre life at best.
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But if you want to live an ultimate life, it requires you to become more right, it requires you to excel and thrive.
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How do you do that?
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Well, first of all, it's your mindset.
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Over time, that mindset develops, with the right habits, into someone who has unlimited belief and confidence in themselves.
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But then you have to learn to develop the right skill sets.
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And again, if you study people or get mentors and spend time around people who are older than you, where you can learn from them, you can ask them questions, you'll start to understand what are those skill sets you need to develop right and, like I said, there's a lot of them the ability to speak articulately, the ability to use social media and leverage social media.
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What else?
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What other skill sets?
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Maybe understanding personal finance, if you're somebody that wants to learn about or get into, investing down the road, socializing just in general, and being an outgoing, curious, open person.
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That's a skill set.
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They call it soft skills.
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Right, how personable you are, how good you are in social settings.
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This is really important because I'm thinking right now well, what if you want to get into real estate?
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Uh, what if you want to do?
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You know, something that's related to building relationships.
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It's your ability to get around people and and have that open-minded uh, kind of like gregarious mannerisms that's going to get people wanting to do business with you.
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It's going to help them to see you as somebody who is an action taker, someone who's hungry, someone who wants more out of life and, honestly, older people, mentors, even family members they're more likely to support you if they see that in you.
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But that brings me to my last point.
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Number four is your relationships.
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Your relationships are everything.
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Now, for young people, the first thing you should be thinking about is who am I spending my time with every day?
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Like, who am I listening to?
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Who am I talking with?
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If you're around a bunch of guys that are not going anywhere in life and they're not ambitious and they're not driven and they're just fricking, smoking weed and looking to party on the weekend and they don't have goals, are those the people you think are really going to help and push you to excel in life.
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Here's a secret, man you know you can still be successful and have friends that are bums and not ambitious, like.
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I became successful in prison around a bunch of really bad people.
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I didn't let them influence me, but most people are influenced by others.
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So you got to look at the people you spend your time with and go.
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Are these the best people to spend my time with?
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Are these friends or acquaintances really pushing me to be a better person every day, or they're more likely to keep me stuck, like the people that you spend your time with are so important?
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What I'd recommend is make sure that you're having conversations of substance, of meaning.
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I know that you're young I'm talking to young people, 15 to 25, but this is a conversation I always have with my son Mason, who's 15 right now.
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I always tell him like hey, make sure you're around A players, make sure you're around kids that are good, kids that are driven, that are motivated, that have manners, that have self-respect, because it's going to rub off on you and then, later on, if you see those kids striving to be great in their lives, doing things that are meaningful, going after their goals, it's going to get you thinking about your life and how you're living and as you get older, one of the most important things that all young people can seek to have in their life is a mentor.
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So let's go back to how, previously, I was talking about skill sets.
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If you want to get into real estate, cause you think that's a great opportunity to make money, do something that you're excited to do help people.
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Whatever the reasons are, I'd highly recommend getting a mentor that's already doing real estate.
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Let's say you want to create content online and you have these messages you want to put out.
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You like editing videos.
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You just love the social media space and putting out good content.
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You want to grow a following?
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I'd highly recommend hiring or working with someone or shadowing someone who's already doing that.
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There's people in all walks of life right now that are doing what you want to do or have done what you want to do.
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That you can learn from so quickly, and one of the best ways to expedite your growth and results is get around them, ask them questions, pick their brains, take notes and then apply what they teach you, and sometimes you got to pay for these mentors.
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It'll be one of the best investments you ever make in your life you save up money, you borrow money, whatever it takes, but then you get a lifetime of education from this person, right?
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You get life-changing ideas and a life-changing opportunity to pick their brain and work with them to see what works and what doesn't, and this is how you could separate yourself from most people in life.
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You guys, this is the stuff that I've done.
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This is the stuff that I teach other people.
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You have to have the right mindset, be a free thinker.
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Believe in the impossible, because it's all freaking possible.
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Do things every day that mold and shape your, your mindset and your self.
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Talk to be someone who's optimistic and positive.
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Right the daily habits that you partake in, as long as you're consistent in them.
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One of two things is going to happen they're either going to be the right habits that build you up into a better version of yourself, or they're going to be the wrong habits that turn you into a lesser version of yourself.
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Make sure the way you're spending your time every day is building you up into a better person and it's instilling belief and confidence in yourself and your ability.
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Number three skill sets are so important.
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Think of all the skill sets you need to develop in your life to become successful, whatever that looks like for you.
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Like I said, I shared a couple a bit, a little bit ago, that have helped me in my career the ability to speak, the ability to put out content on social media and to share a powerful message that moves and motivates people to change for the better.
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Right and lastly, number four, mentorship.
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Mentors are going to help you to grow faster, to get to where you want to go quicker, to mitigate mistakes, to learn faster, and mentors are going to be some of the most valuable people that you come across in your life.
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Make sure you choose them wisely.
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Pick somebody who has the results that you want, someone who's older than you and someone who has a track record of success.
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Get around them right.
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Minimize the toxic people, the negative people in your life.
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Get away from the knuckleheads.
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If you do those four things I'm telling you, young guys, right now, you'll be at an advantage going into your future.