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00:00:10.728Welcome to Satisfaction Factor, the podcast where we explore how ditching diet culture makes our whole lives more satisfying.
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00:00:21.307Welcome back to Satisfaction Factor.
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00:00:24.410I'm Naomi Katz, an intuitive eating and body image coach.
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00:00:27.870I'm Sadie Simpson, a group fitness instructor and personal trainer.
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00:00:35.764So, before we dig into this week's episode, just a reminder that if you would like to support the show, we've got merch.
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00:00:44.594We've got a handful of designs up on TeePublic that can be printed as stickers, t-shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, tote bags or whatever else you like.
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00:00:51.390T-shirts and sweatshirts come in sizes up to 5X and you can check that out at the link in our show notes.
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00:01:00.970So now that that's out of the way, this week we are talking about seven things to know if you're working through intuitive eating or anti-diet work on your own.
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00:01:13.126So you know, working with an intuitive eating professional is great and it's definitely something that we highly recommend when possible, but of course, we also know that that's not accessible for a lot of people.
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00:01:31.072So we really want to validate that a lot of folks are probably out there trying to do this work on their own and that, while this work is never easy like even when you do have professional support doing it on your own is a very different experience with its own set of challenges.
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00:01:35.109Yes, that is so very true.
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00:01:43.953I mean, there's so many people that are doing this on their own and it's weird like you almost wish you had a little spreadsheet database of everybody working on this.
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00:01:45.141So that way you'd be like, okay, I've got me, I can find a buddy through this spreadsheet and of everybody working on this.
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00:01:48.840So that way you'd be like, okay, I've got me, I can find a buddy through this spreadsheet and we can work on it together.
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00:01:56.962But this is very like, I don't know, it's very, it's lonely work or it can be lonely, but it's very like personal too.
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00:02:19.391It's hard to do this out in public in the world yeah, like I actually think it's really interesting because I think that there's like when you first start doing it like in my experience at least, I see this is how it works with my clients when you first start doing it, it's like you don't want to talk about it with anybody, except perhaps the professional that you're working with.
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00:02:36.112And then at some point during the work it becomes like you want to talk about it all the time to everybody and like there's really just like this switch over, but like when and how and all of that stuff definitely changes.
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00:02:38.067It's definitely different for everybody.
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00:02:50.235Oh yeah, but yeah, like, especially in the earlier stages, it's very personal and most of us don't feel like we really want to shout it from the mountaintops when we first start.
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00:02:56.151I also think it's really important to keep in mind that this is how you and I did it.
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00:03:07.824Neither of us worked with an intuitive eating professional when we were going through this process ourselves, going through this process ourselves, and we've talked about that before.
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00:03:12.662But you know, for this episode, we kind of wanted to share some insights about how we did this work on our own, what we learned from that.
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00:03:29.335You know what we've learned talking to other people over the years about how they've done it and like the differences we've seen between people doing it on their own versus working at the professional, so that you kind of just have a better idea of what to expect if you're doing this by yourself.
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00:03:44.264Because I think setting expectations is hugely important for making us feel like we can keep going, because otherwise it's real easy to get discouraged when things don't look like what we expected them to look like.
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00:03:51.623Yeah for sure, and like to be clear.
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00:04:00.348We're going to try and set some expectations, but I promise you the number one thing to keep in mind is it is not going to look like what you think it's going to look like, no matter how well you set your expectations.
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00:04:09.602Having said that, let's talk about these like specific expectations that it's worth knowing about.
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00:04:10.584Let's do it.
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00:04:11.445So.
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00:04:14.853The first one is it's gonna take a long time.
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00:04:18.781We know this is not a quick fix.
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00:04:20.687We know that it's lifelong work.
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00:04:22.031We know it evolves over time.
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00:04:31.041We've talked about this like ad nauseum, essentially on this podcast and I feel like you can't say it enough, because even to myself I'm like this is lifelong work.
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00:04:33.526I have to tell that to myself from time to time.
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00:05:14.163Truly yes, and it's also, you know, it's important to reiterate because it is very hard to wrap our heads around how long this takes because, as we've talked about before, diet culture really conditions us to think about these things in short-term bursts 21-day fix, whole 30, 12-week programs of different types, things like that, and so when we talk about, this takes a long time we've used this example before like a year is like barely scratching the surface of an intuitive eating practice.
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00:05:21.091So many people are like I've been doing this for a couple of months and it's not working, and then they get discouraged.
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00:05:26.826Or even it's been a year and I'm still struggling, and it's like, yeah, that is not a long time.
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00:05:35.163It takes so much longer than that, especially when you think of it truly as like start to finish.
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00:06:08.805So, for instance, like on average, I work with clients for about a year, but that's not like from the first time they thought about intuitive eating to when they're fully healed and everything is wonderful, all the time right, like they usually had done some work on their own, learned about it, read about it, contemplated it, thought about it for like quite some time at the very least before they reach out to me.
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00:06:15.023We worked together for a year and then they still have their own work to do afterwards.
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00:06:42.149We just have like a year of concentrated like working through the real sticky stuff, but like that's neither the beginning nor the end of their time working on intuitive eating, and that is with weekly one-on-one support, with like messaging in between and like planned exercises and practices in between.
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00:06:57.209Those sessions, like you know, really like dedicated work on this stuff for like a year and so like I'm just like envisioning a timeline, like and I feel like I've seen this maybe in like a work situation or something.
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00:07:00.841You have like this very brief period of time.
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00:07:09.528Like there's a visual in my brain like this very short amount of time, like in the span of your whole life, and it's just like a year or whatever.
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00:07:20.783Like the amount of time somebody works with you or a similar professional is such, just like a blip in time and it's like I feel like we need a visual for our Instagram post, for this or something.
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00:07:23.307Yeah, totally.
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00:07:36.507It's like when you look at like the entire history of the planet earth and then like the time that humans were on the planet is like this blip and I feel like that's kind of what we're talking about here that is exactly what we're talking about.
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00:07:38.031But like, so that's just.
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00:07:50.663I bring this up to say like it's gonna take even longer when you're not working with a professional, so like without that kind of support and guidance.
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00:07:56.884And that's not because, like, oh it's, you can't do it on your own, but it's like for some specific reasons.
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00:08:52.181So like, for one thing, hitting plateaus, hitting areas where we feel stuck, is totally normal, even when you're working with a professional, to kind of like help you move through those plateaus, those sticky points where, like, somebody can look at and be like, oh, here's something that might be an obstacle, here's something that like, so like working with a professional doesn't like push you through those plateaus or prevent them from happening, but it can make it easier to figure out what the sticking point is, because, like, when you're just in your own head with yourself and your own eyes, it's really really easy.
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00:09:03.071It's like, if you, if you write something and then you go back to proofread it, like right after you finished writing it, it's so hard to see where you've made mistakes.
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00:09:19.364That's why, so often that you people like, that's why there are roles, that where people have jobs just as third party proofreaders, because sometimes you just need to step away and have some distance from it and have somebody with fresh eyes come look at it.
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00:09:31.559Same thing here and so, if you're doing this on your own, same thing here and so, if you're doing this on your own, it's important to know that, like we all hit those plateaus, those sticky points, even when we're working with professionals.
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00:09:35.248You can and will move through them.
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00:09:38.052It just might take longer when you're doing it on your own.
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00:09:42.541Um, you know, we also.
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00:09:53.605We don't know what we don't know and like we get comfortable in our comfort zones, which, like don't get me wrong, listen, I am a Taurus and an Enneagram nine.
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00:09:55.225I love a comfort zone.
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00:10:07.669I would like, I would like to get who feels like we have to get pushed outside of our comfort zones.
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00:11:11.466But I also know myself, like, honestly workouts are a great example of how this comes into play Like when I, if I write my own workout plans, I am never gonna put things on there that I don't like doing there, that I don't like doing or that I find particularly like difficult or you know, or things like that, like I'm just going to not put them on there because I don't have to, whereas if I'm going to a class or if somebody else is writing a program for me, they're going to be like, yeah, like you are way stronger in your right leg, so like we probably should do some like single leg work, even though you hate it, just to try and like, balance that out and like, again, similar concept in the intuitive eating and anti diet world, like there are, so many of our narratives are there to protect us from looking at things that are uncomfortable or from processing things that are uncomfortable.
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00:11:25.094And again, like, eventually we may let ourselves look at those things or deal with that discomfort, but we're probably going to put it off for like a really long time if we can.
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00:11:25.937We're probably going to put it off for like a really long time if we can.
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00:11:37.746We're probably going to try and do everything else and like, and sometimes like we literally don't know what we need to be looking at because we don't know what we don't know.
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00:11:39.631Yep, that is true.
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00:12:07.475And so, again, just like, having a third party who can like, maybe help us to see where we might want to dig deeper, where there might be an area of discomfort that can be approached in a way that won't be traumatic and like you know places where we can learn things and like learn what we don't know and things like that.
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00:12:14.354Again, we probably will get there on our own, but it's going to take longer without somebody to point to those things.
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00:12:26.793So, yeah, but the fact that it takes longer to do this stuff on your own is not necessarily a bad thing.
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00:12:38.587Like when something is a lifelong process, like we know intuitive eating and anti-diet work to be, it's okay for it to take, however long it's going to take.
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00:12:44.187So like it's good to have our expectations set properly so we don't get discouraged.
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00:12:52.490But none of this is to say like it's going to take longer and so it's the wrong way to do it or anything like that.
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00:12:53.140It can.
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00:12:57.471It takes as long as it takes, whether you're working on your own or with somebody else.
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00:13:00.509We just want to set the expectation of how it might be different.
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00:13:33.056Yeah, I like that because I mean, I think with this and with everything, we just have this expectation that we have to meet certain benchmarks by a certain time, whether that is in school or like I think about my kid, they have these age appropriate benchmarks they're supposed to reach, but every kid is different so they might not hit them at certain times and it's the same thing for this, like everybody's timeline is going to be a little bit different when they, you know, when certain things start to click or when certain things need more attention, and stuff like that.
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00:13:39.051Yeah, absolutely, and it's all okay and it's all.
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00:13:48.461Quote unquote normal yeah, normal yeah.
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00:13:53.376The second thing to keep in mind is that intuitive eating, anti-diet work is not something that you can just learn about.
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00:13:54.259We have to actually be applying it also.
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00:14:08.462I love this and I think this is a really, really, really important one, because in so many food programs, diet programs, weight loss programs, whatever you have it like there are, there's always a framework.
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00:14:30.538There's always some sort of rules, some sort of guideline, either like a list or a numerical system or a point system or something that you have to memorize and follow, and this is not that like there is no like hard and fast protocol that you have to memorize and like carry in your brain forever, and I think that that is it's weird.
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00:14:35.769Like it is a little bit weird because we're so used to like following a protocol.
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00:14:42.578Yeah, that is absolutely true, and this is not.
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00:14:44.500This is just not that Like.
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00:15:00.453You could essentially be able to recite the intuitive eating book backwards and forwards, be able to host your own intuitive eating podcast, but if you're not practicing, like the application of these principles and these concepts, it's not going to matter.
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00:15:01.855Nope of these principles and these concepts it's not going to matter.
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00:15:03.537Nope.
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00:15:09.769So, again, you know, the majority of the folks that I work with absolutely have read the intuitive eating book.
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00:15:14.226Like I said, like their work on this stuff doesn't start when they contact me right.
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00:15:16.524Like, they've probably read the book.
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00:15:20.405They probably have at least one intuitive eating podcast that they listen to.
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00:15:31.130They definitely follow different professionals on Instagram and, like, intellectually, they know what the framework of intuitive eating entails.
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00:15:35.485They know about you know the failure rate of diets.
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00:15:40.158They know that diet culture is harmful and oppressive and all of that stuff.
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00:15:55.047They know that the old ways are not working for them and that, like they don't really buy into the old ways anymore and they're still struggling to make it work with their own lives.
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00:16:01.571Intuitive eating, like that they're still struggling to make the intuitive eating stuff work for them.
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00:16:08.469They kind of feel like they just can't apply that intellectual knowledge to their own lives.
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00:16:15.898Like they're in this constant state of like cognitive dissonance of what they know versus what they feel and stuff like that.
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00:16:18.884And that's totally normal.
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00:16:21.758That is a totally normal part of this process.
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00:16:36.225Again, if you're doing this on your own, you are 100% going to go through that part of it, and the reason for that is because you do need to learn intuitive eating intellectually.
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00:16:40.018You do have to learn it, but you can't just learn it.
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00:16:45.788It is a practice, it is something you do and that's going to look different for everyone.
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00:17:04.222So, like, learning it intellectually is great, but we need to practice the actual, like pieces of it in order to, like, get to a point where we're bridging that gap between our intellectual understanding and our internalized beliefs and understandings gap between our intellectual understanding and our internalized beliefs and understandings.
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00:17:17.016Like, we need to see how the theory actually applies to our lives, like our own personal actual individual lives.
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00:17:30.285Listening to you talk about this it makes me think about things like yoga and meditation and stuff like that, because, like I mean, I like to take a yoga class for like the flexibility and the quietness and that sort of thing, but you always hear the instructors.
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00:17:38.246They're like this is a practice and like the really hardcore yoga people are really like immersed in it and integrating all of the yoga things into their lives.
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00:17:39.270So they kind of.
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00:17:42.199I mean it kind of makes me think of that sort of as an analogy.
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00:17:54.199Like you can understand that, yeah, you're going to get a little bit of flexibility and a little bit of stretch and you can lay there on the mat and relax, but like to really immerse yourself in that world, in that lifestyle.
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00:18:03.528I don't really know what to label it, but it's a whole different thing than just to go through the motions then to like actually apply the principles and the practices to your life.
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00:18:26.682Yes, and the more you practice it so like, the more you actually go and get on the mat and do the stretch and like and like understand how moving your body in a certain position, doing this or that, like how that feels in your body and what it does in your body, and how the muscles stretch, how the muscles activate, stuff like that.
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00:18:41.624The more you're going to get out of it, the better it's going to serve you Like, the more understanding you're going to gain because you're going to see it in action, versus just understanding the concepts and stuff like that.
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00:18:44.517And this is very much the same as that.
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00:18:49.084So I hear I can already hear what does that mean?
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00:18:52.228And that's fair.
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00:18:54.436There are some great you know.
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00:19:06.701So, first of all, our next episode is going to be all about bite-sized practices and applications of the intuitive eating principles and anti-diet work that you can like, practice and apply yourself.
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00:19:08.223So stay tuned for that.
00:19:09.787 -->
00:19:44.669Also, the intuitive eating workbook is a great resource with some like practical, like exercises and applications, although I always like to give kind of a content warning for that, which is that the intuitive eating workbook was not updated at the same time in 2020, when the intuitive eating book was updated and so it definitely still has some concepts in it that are kind of steeped in like healthism and maybe like lingering diet-y stuff.
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00:19:51.346So just like, go into that with your eyes open and if you have questions, like, find somebody to ask those questions.
00:19:51.346 -->
00:19:58.801I also love the your Body Is Not an Apology workbook by Sonia Renee Taylor.
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00:20:14.981It's something that I use with my clients regularly, and then there's also a very recently released workbook this was released by Christy Harrison of like, the Food Psych podcast and Anti-Diet and the Wellness Trap.
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00:20:29.688We all love Christy Harrison, but Christy Harrison, judith Metz and Amy Pershing all worked together to release recently a workbook called the Emotional Eating, chronic Dieting, binge Eating and Body Image Workbook.
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00:20:34.140I got a copy of it right away.
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00:20:36.143It is really good.
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00:21:04.869I definitely would recommend like and it avoids a lot of the triggery stuff that is still present in the in the actual intuitive eating workbook cool, I'll have to check this out so those are some places to start with how to apply it, because just because you're doing this on your own doesn't mean you can't take advantage of resources that are out there and available, and so workbooks like that are a great option.
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00:21:10.126Okay, expectation number three the thing to keep in mind as you're doing this on your own.
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00:21:28.000It's about way more than food, and I know we have talked about this a ton also, but, like I want to be really clear about what we mean by that and how, if you're working on this on your own, like that is some why it's something that's so important to keep in mind.
00:21:28.000 -->
00:21:38.608So like you can force yourself to eat all the cookies and pizza in the world and not make any progress on the deeper stuff.
00:21:38.608 -->
00:21:53.017Like you can force yourself to to eat the, to eat the pizza, to drink the milkshake, to do whatever, and still constantly feel guilt, fear of weight gain, mental restriction, all of that stuff.
00:21:53.017 -->
00:21:58.449So like, yes, you need to practice honoring hunger.
00:21:58.449 -->
00:22:02.265You need to practice unconditional permission with like off limits foods.
00:22:02.265 -->
00:22:03.773You need to practice unconditional permission with like off limits foods.
00:22:03.773 -->
00:22:08.547You need to practice food neutrality, like all of those things that has to be part of this practice.
00:22:08.547 -->
00:22:27.650And you also have to be doing the internal work of unpacking anti-fatness, ditching diet culture, building self-trust, reclaiming autonomy, thinking critically about the sources of our narratives, values, work, like all of that other stuff.
00:22:27.775 -->
00:22:36.365Like we can't just be like well, I told myself it was stupid not to have the cookie, and so I had the cookie, but then I felt terrible about having the cookie.
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00:22:50.181When we're doing this work on our own, it is much easier to just focus on the food and it's super easy to just stop at the food.
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00:23:04.219But that leaves us in this state of like, that constant cognitive dissonance, and the thing to remember is that stage of cognitive dissonance is going to happen for everybody.
00:23:04.219 -->
00:23:31.170Again, even folks working with a professional are going to go through that part of it, a battle Like you're not going to have that sense of like, oh, I ate the thing, but I feel terrible about eating the thing, but only if we do the work to unpack what's underneath the food.
00:23:31.170 -->
00:23:38.298Otherwise we don't get to the place where it feels better and so like that's sometimes that's what I see happening.
00:23:38.298 -->
00:24:09.994Like when I look on like forums about intuitive eating and people are like no-transcript.
00:24:11.236 -->
00:24:11.798And that's hard.
00:24:12.539 -->
00:24:13.121It's so hard.
00:24:13.201 -->
00:24:23.189Again, like when people come into this work, like we want it to be about the food, we won't just fix the food and to fix the eating situation and then everything else will be fixed.
00:24:23.189 -->
00:24:25.659But it's really not all about that.
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00:24:40.000Yeah, and again, it's especially hard when you're doing it by yourself, because the stuff that's under the food is the really hard stuff it's the single leg it's the lunges, it's the single leg.
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00:24:41.325Work that you don't want to do.
00:24:41.325 -->
00:24:48.778It's the lunges, it's the single leg work that you don't want to do and you are like more.
00:24:48.778 -->
00:24:50.888It's so easy when you're doing it by yourself to just let yourself off the hook from that stuff.
00:24:50.888 -->
00:24:51.130Forget that.
00:24:51.130 -->
00:25:07.077I'm just doing squats, I'm not lunging, exactly Like this is fine, but like it's your, we're actually like keeping ourselves from moving into a more comfortable, like better place with food if we're only looking at the food, yeah Okay.
00:25:07.077 -->
00:25:16.959Thing number four to keep in mind is that it is okay to have negative feelings as we do this.
00:25:18.019 -->
00:25:27.575Yay, thanks for validating the negativity, yeah, and we really have to acknowledge and accept those negative feelings as part of this process.
00:25:27.575 -->
00:25:35.689So we've used the beach ball analogy before that Bree Campos uses that I just love so much of.
00:25:35.689 -->
00:25:42.880Like you know, you can kind of think of these negative feelings as like a beach ball where you can push it underwater.
00:25:42.880 -->
00:25:49.631You can kind of think of these negative feelings as like a beach ball where you can push it underwater and like it's fine, as long as you're continuing to push it underwater, it'll stay there.
00:25:49.631 -->
00:26:06.801But like you have to keep exerting energy to keep it under there or it's just going to pop up again Unless you actually acknowledge it and like do what needs to be done to deflate the beach ball like once and for all.
00:26:06.801 -->
00:26:14.500Yeah, um, and so yeah, you have to acknowledge the beach ball and before in order to be able to deflate the beach ball.
00:26:14.500 -->
00:26:20.901Basically, the thing is that trying to just like be positive about everything doesn't work.
00:26:20.901 -->
00:26:26.210We so intuitive eating, anti-diet work, all of that stuff.
00:26:26.210 -->
00:26:58.818There's a lot of kind of positive sounding terms that we use to talk about the process, right, like making peace with food, body acceptance, joyful movement, gentle nutrition, like these are all things that have like positive sounding vibes, right, like calm and positive and nice, but that doesn't mean that those things feel positive or calm or nice in the moment.
00:26:58.818 -->
00:27:04.650It also doesn't mean that the negative feelings aren't like a normal part of the process.
00:27:04.650 -->
00:27:23.125So, like we can accept our bodies and still hate going shopping or feel super frustrated when a store doesn't have our size, or feel really angry when we get marginalized at the doctor or feel really sad when we can't do something that we used to be able to do.
00:27:23.125 -->
00:27:27.786We can honor our hunger and we can make peace with food.
00:27:27.786 -->
00:27:39.959And we can still feel super annoyed by how expensive groceries are and like how it, now that we're actually eating regularly and enough, we have to pay more for groceries.
00:27:39.959 -->
00:27:53.339Like we can also be really annoyed at how often we end up realizing we have to stop to eat, especially in the beginning, when, like we're maybe not eating enough every time and so we get hungry again.
00:27:53.339 -->
00:28:15.479Very often it's like every single time I try and increase the amount of water I'm drinking, I spend the entire time pissed off because of how often I have to pee, and like that doesn't mean I shouldn't be doing it, but like also I have this feeling of annoyance.
00:28:15.479 -->
00:28:16.340That's fine.
00:28:17.403 -->
00:28:30.317So, like, the fact that these things are like positive things and the fact that we're doing things that sound positive doesn't mean that they don't sometimes come with totally normal negative emotions as well.
00:28:31.599 -->
00:28:52.269And if we try and pretend that we never feel any negative emotions about any of this stuff, then we're just pushing that beach ball underwater and eventually it's going to pop up and we're going to be like fuck it, I'm not doing any of this anymore, whereas if we can acknowledge it as a normal part of the process, like we're going to be able to stick with it a lot longer.
00:28:52.269 -->
00:29:09.305We're going to be able to realize that, like we're allowed to have a full range of emotions around all of this stuff and a lot of times this work comes with like a much deeper grief and anger that we need to process and we cannot skip over that part.
00:29:09.305 -->
00:29:30.695Like so like there's the day-to-day negative feelings that might come up with this stuff, and then there's like the deep, hard negative feelings that like we have to look at, feelings that like we have to look at, and again it's the same, again, it's the single leg work Of the analogy.
00:29:30.715 -->
00:29:44.397I don't want to do it and a lot of times like, even if we're not working with an intuitive eating professional, maybe we need to work with a therapist, like maybe we do need some other kind of support to process those really deep emotions.
00:29:44.397 -->
00:29:45.939But we have to do it like that.
00:29:45.939 -->
00:29:49.382We have to work through the negative stuff.
00:29:49.382 -->
00:29:55.307We can't just like love ourselves through this process.
00:29:55.307 -->
00:29:56.027Well, that's not true.
00:29:56.027 -->
00:29:57.689We should love ourselves through this process.
00:29:57.689 -->
00:30:01.971We can't just like toxic positivity our way through all of this.
00:30:01.971 -->
00:30:04.391There's got to be like a name for that.
00:30:04.733 -->
00:30:10.785Yeah, we can't just like slap on a smile and be like everything is fine, that's not going to get us anywhere, nope.
00:30:10.785 -->
00:30:23.098And that is because the other thing to keep in mind is this is really hard, so hard, this is so hard.
00:30:23.098 -->
00:30:35.256It is emotionally hard, mentally hard, socially hard and even like physically hard sometimes, especially like as we're trying to learn our body cues and stuff like that.
00:30:35.256 -->
00:30:48.810Again, that's also true when working with a professional, but, you know, when you're doing it on your own, it's just so important to remember that it is normal for it to be hard.
00:30:48.810 -->
00:31:00.931I think that one of the main things that I do with clients is remind them that the fact that it's hard is normal and not because they're doing anything wrong.
00:31:00.931 -->
00:31:12.528And not because they're doing anything wrong, like that is one of my primary functions as an intuitive eating coach is telling people that that, yes, this is hard and that's normal.
00:31:13.135 -->
00:31:44.000Yeah, because it's so easy to feel like this shouldn't be that hard, like this, like I must be doing something wrong, I must be, like you know, not processing something, right, I must be like holding on to too much old stuff, like just like we take that blame on ourselves, which makes sense, right, because in diet culture, if the diet doesn't work, it's because you did it wrong yeah, and it's like, no, you're not doing anything wrong.
00:31:44.000 -->
00:31:55.291This is hard, and it's normal for it to be this hard, and so if you're doing this by yourself, you need to be able to remind yourself of that too.
00:32:04.214 -->
00:32:04.315Cause.
00:32:04.315 -->
00:32:10.231Again like another thing I have to tell myself still to this day this is hard Like it, it's, it gets easier, but it's still not like the easiest thing that's ever happened.
00:32:10.231 -->
00:32:16.848The easiest thing I've ever done in my life, by any means, oh, definitely not, definitely not.
00:32:17.154 -->
00:32:22.079And like, every time you peel back a new layer it's like, oh, that was hard.
00:32:22.079 -->
00:32:23.520Again for a minute, back a new layer.
00:32:23.520 -->
00:32:26.944It's like, oh, that was hard again for a minute.
00:32:26.944 -->
00:32:33.131And yeah, just knowing I get it's expectation, setting it so that, like when it gets hard, you don't go.
00:32:33.151 -->
00:32:45.201Oh I guess I don't know what I'm doing, or this isn't working and like ditch it yeah we always want to keep in mind that other people may not understand what we're doing.
00:32:46.103 -->
00:32:49.165They don't and they won't and everybody won't.
00:32:49.205 -->
00:32:54.510Some people- will like if you're you know, in community with other people who are doing the same thing, that's one thing.
00:32:54.570 -->
00:33:04.328But, like when you're in the world with other people with other experiences and opinions and things like that, things are going to be, they're going to be weird, they're not going to understand it.
00:33:04.328 -->
00:33:29.895Like I've had so many conversations with family members and friends and even clients and people who have come to my classes and stuff, who have maybe bought the intuitive eating book or the workbook or have listened to the podcast, and they've told me they're like yeah, I'm excited, I'm going to try this intuitive eating thing, and then a month or so later they're like well, it's not working, I'm not losing weight, I think I'm just going to move on, I think I'm going to give up and go to the next thing.
00:33:29.895 -->
00:33:48.505And it's like it is just so, so, so hard, even if we are immersed in it, for other people who are hearing about it or maybe experimenting with it themselves, to get out of that mentality Like we already talked about, like that 21 day fix or that 30 day, you know whole 30 or whatever.
00:33:48.505 -->
00:33:59.234It's just really really, really hard, but it's yeah, there's other people add another dynamic to it, for sure, definitely.
00:33:59.454 -->
00:34:05.459And like I can't even tell you how many times I've been like, oh, I'm an intuitive eating coach.
00:34:05.459 -->
00:34:09.681And then people will launch into this like, oh, intuitive eating, that's so great.
00:34:09.681 -->
00:34:23.251And then, like launch into this whole thing about like essentially like clean eating and like quote, unquote healthy, natural, like clean, all of the things that like it.
00:34:23.251 -->
00:34:34.106Just so, so much morality around food and I'm like that's not, but okay, so there's, there's that part of it.
00:34:34.106 -->
00:34:50.670And then there's also the part of it where, like, you get pushback from people and this is going to be especially true for folks in larger bodies who are going to get a lot of shit for not dieting, for not pursuing weight loss anymore and all of that stuff.
00:34:50.670 -->
00:35:02.865You know you get to make the choice about how much you want to explain to people, how much you want to engage with them, how much you want to engage with them.
00:35:02.865 -->
00:35:30.108If you want to do that at all, like I often just kind of go yeah, okay, and just and just kind of like smile and nod, because I just know, like either because situationally or because the person themselves, like I just know that I'm going to waste my own energy trying to explain what intuitive eating actually is, to somebody who is convinced that it's about clean eating.
00:35:32.795 -->
00:35:43.150Other times, for instance, when there's like an issue of like weight stigma going on, I will speak up and say something and like set a boundary or whatever.
00:35:43.150 -->
00:35:47.740It depends on what feels important in the moment, what I have the energy for.
00:35:47.740 -->
00:35:51.338We've talked before about like there's so many different ways to respond.
00:35:51.338 -->
00:36:01.248We have multiple episodes about how to respond to this stuff from people which, if this is a place that you're at, definitely go back and listen to those.
00:36:01.248 -->
00:36:09.876Definitely go back and listen to those.
00:36:09.876 -->
00:36:40.242But yeah, like it's just a fact that this can feel really isolating when you first start doing it, because people don't understand, people are against it, it pisses people off, like, and it's just that's a really hard place to be in, especially because you're probably processing a million really hard emotions at the same time and people will say to you the exact things that you are trying to unpack and unlearn and that's very hard.
00:36:41.375 -->
00:36:42.300It is very hard.
00:36:44.356 -->
00:36:53.186So, yeah, that's an important thing to keep in mind, that, like it's rare that you tell people you're doing this and people actually understand and are really supportive of it.
00:36:53.186 -->
00:36:58.597Yeah, and you know the last thing.
00:36:58.597 -->
00:37:06.570So number seven is that you have to practice self-compassion as you go through this whole process.
00:37:06.570 -->
00:37:12.586Honestly, I think that's the thing that ties all of these other things together.
00:37:12.586 -->
00:37:17.360Just, you know you're not doing this wrong.
00:37:17.360 -->
00:37:28.385You are not taking too long, like again, you know, when we're talking about how long this takes, like remember how long you've been indoctrinated into diet culture.
00:37:28.385 -->
00:37:34.744Like, of course, it's going to take a long time to unpack that.
00:37:35.485 -->
00:37:37.873You're also not the only one who's struggling.
00:37:37.873 -->
00:37:40.137You're not the only one who's feeling negative feelings.
00:37:40.137 -->
00:37:42.824You didn't start this work too late.
00:37:42.824 -->
00:37:47.960You didn't know what you didn't know when you didn't know it right, like.
00:37:47.960 -->
00:38:02.842All of that is true and it's so important for us to like be gentle with ourselves, to forgive ourselves for what we haven't, what we didn't know, or, you know, what we put out into the world before we.
00:38:02.842 -->
00:38:39.320Just we have to be so, so caring with ourselves through this process, like because now we can't move backwards, like we can't go back in time and change stuff Like we can only move forward, and the thing to keep in mind is that literally every little bit of work that we do on this is world-changing, like actually truly life and world-changing and so like just baby steps, just little little bits, and every single piece of it matters and that's just.
00:38:39.320 -->
00:38:49.804We have to just remember that and just like treat ourselves the way we would treat anybody else who was doing something really, really hard.
00:38:52.130 -->
00:39:01.003I like that because we often don't give ourselves enough credit, like we would give other people all the praise and all the you know good job and everything but for ourselves.
00:39:01.003 -->
00:39:03.775We never give ourselves a pat on the back exactly.
00:39:04.115 -->
00:39:22.202And again, like when you're working with a professional, there's somebody there to pat you on the back and tell you what a good job you're doing and like point out those little like point out the progress that you're making, because it takes forever, but there's progress the whole time and every piece of that progress matters.
00:39:22.202 -->
00:39:28.021And so, like trying to set yourself up to like also notice that progress.
00:39:28.021 -->
00:39:34.862Like you know, maybe that means that, like once a month, you sit down and go what's different this month than last month?
00:39:34.862 -->
00:39:53.739Or once every three months, once every six months, like whatever, and just like really noticing even the littlest things that might have shifted, so that you can remind yourself that you are doing work, but, yeah, just treating yourself like you would anybody else who was doing something really, really hard.
00:39:54.239 -->
00:39:57.387We should do this more often, with everything.
00:39:58.009 -->
00:39:58.771I mean truly.
00:39:58.771 -->
00:40:00.675Yes, that is very true.
00:40:00.675 -->
00:40:04.967So anyway, we hope this was really helpful.
00:40:04.967 -->
00:40:37.608If you're working through intuitive eating or through anti-diet work, kind of generally on your own, we hope that it helps to like maybe set some expectations and you know, I don't know just help keep you going through things that, like you know, we just we don't want anybody to feel these feelings, think they're doing it wrong, and then give up because it's worth it, and so if this can like keep people going just a little bit longer, that is, that is really our only hope here.
00:40:37.608 -->
00:40:38.576It is.
00:40:41.039 -->
00:40:52.166Having said all of this stuff, if you do want to get some support in this work, I do have a few options for you that are available right now.
00:40:52.166 -->
00:41:00.746So all of these options you can find on my website at happyshapesco, under the work with me section.
00:41:00.746 -->
00:41:07.157The first option is that I have spots open for one-to-one intuitive eating and anti-diet coaching.
00:41:07.157 -->
00:41:11.909So I do one-on-one coaching in packages of six, nine or 12 months.
00:41:11.909 -->
00:41:16.101I offer payment plans and other accessible pricing options.
00:41:16.101 -->
00:41:26.222The packages include weekly Zoom calls, voxer messaging, access between calls, copies of the intuitive eating workbook and the your body is not an apology workbook.
00:41:26.222 -->
00:41:36.025And again, all of that information, including where you can submit your application, is on my website, happyshapesco slash coaching.
00:41:37.195 -->
00:41:47.219I also offer, like one-off pay what you can coaching calls, called mindset reset calls, pay-what-you-can coaching calls, called Mindset Reset Calls.
00:41:47.219 -->
00:41:58.438Those are individual, one-hour-long calls to discuss specific sticking points without a long-term coaching commitment, and you can get the information about that and sign up for a call at happyshapesco slash Mindset Reset.
00:41:58.438 -->
00:42:07.762And then, lastly, I am currently trying to gauge interest for a fall cohort of my group coaching program, nourish and Bloom.
00:42:07.762 -->
00:42:36.460So that's a 40-week group program that includes weekly written content, monthly group calls, monthly journaling prompts and an online community space, and you can get all the information about that at happyshapesco slash, nourish and bloom waitlist, and I definitely recommend that if you're at all interested in that group program, you please get on the waitlist, because that's how I will know if there's enough interest to run the fall cohort.
00:42:36.460 -->
00:42:39.724So, again, you can do all this stuff on your own.
00:42:39.724 -->
00:42:46.742This is not like you can't do it on your own, so you have to work with me, but if you want support, I am here for you.
00:42:46.742 -->
00:42:50.088Anyway, sadie, what's satisfying for you right now?
00:42:50.675 -->
00:42:59.686This kind of goes along with our episode a few episodes ago when we talked about like photos and and how we see ourselves in photos and things like that.
00:42:59.726 -->
00:43:07.166We just got back from a trip to the beach and this year, for the first year in a long time, I wore like I always wear a two piece bathing suit.
00:43:07.206 -->
00:43:12.123But I wore a two piece that was like just a regular like bikini top and like high waisted bottoms.
00:43:12.123 -->
00:43:19.496But the last few years I've worn one that's got kind of like dangly stuff sort of down, so it kind of covers up my stomach for the most part.
00:43:19.496 -->
00:43:33.579But this year I just wore a regular old two piece for the first time in a really long time and my body is bigger now than it has been ever and taking pictures at the beach I was like, okay, what's this going to be like?
00:43:33.579 -->
00:43:49.262But like, my mother-in-law and my other family members took pictures at the beach and it was one of those things it's like for a second you're like, okay, this is what I look like now.
00:43:49.262 -->
00:43:51.197But it was a very like neutral feeling so I felt very good about that.
00:43:51.197 -->
00:43:53.367I'm glad we recorded that episode a few weeks before I went to the beach, so that was very helpful and it felt very satisfying.
00:43:53.367 -->
00:43:54.509That's awesome.
00:43:54.509 -->
00:44:02.840I love that story so much, yeah, um, and I can't wait to see pictures, yeah, of your trip to the beach.
00:44:03.300 -->
00:44:03.581I didn't.
00:44:03.581 -->
00:44:06.887I didn't really take any, but luckily everybody else in my family took lots.
00:44:06.887 -->
00:44:10.242So I guess they'll post them on Facebook and hopefully tag me in them.
00:44:10.242 -->
00:44:11.806We'll see that's awesome.
00:44:12.655 -->
00:44:18.664Also like the hopefully tag me in them is like such a flip from like oh my God, I hope they don't tag me in them.
00:44:20.929 -->
00:44:21.510That's awesome.
00:44:21.510 -->
00:44:24.342What's satisfying for you right now?
00:44:25.795 -->
00:44:26.135This is.
00:44:26.135 -->
00:44:36.570This feels so stupid, but the social media algorithm, the Instagram algorithm, has been such an absolute shit show for so long.
00:44:36.570 -->
00:44:53.809Now, the past couple of weeks, I've had a couple of posts like actually like get engagement and do relatively well, like certainly better than anything has done in months and I don't know.
00:44:53.809 -->
00:45:12.005It was very satisfying to just have this moment of like, not feeling like I was at war with the social media algorithm, to like have anybody ever see anything that I post, cause it's not like we don't put work into those things right?
00:45:12.394 -->
00:45:14.382Yeah, it's not like you, just slap it up there.
00:45:14.635 -->
00:45:16.844Like it takes a lot of work, oh my God.
00:45:16.844 -->
00:45:21.686And then and then, Instagram is just like oh, you have like 3000 followers.
00:45:21.686 -->
00:45:24.403You wanted five to see this post right.
00:45:24.403 -->
00:45:35.541It's like sure, yeah, so yeah, it was really satisfying to just have like a couple of posts that just felt like they easily got engagement and it wasn't a fight.
00:45:36.956 -->
00:45:38.721That is very satisfying.
00:45:38.721 -->
00:45:39.704I'm very happy for you.
00:45:40.144 -->
00:45:40.525Thank you.
00:45:42.335 -->
00:45:51.844Also so if you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to leave us a positive rating and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or you can also come and find us on Instagram.
00:45:51.844 -->
00:45:55.722We are at satisfactionfactorpod and we love hearing from you.
00:45:57.016 -->
00:45:57.940That's it for us this week.
00:45:57.940 -->
00:46:10.117We'll catch you next time, you.
