Ep 54: The Generative Brain — Rewiring for Creativity & Possibility with Theo Morrison

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Welcome to Rewired.
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I'm your host, Tiffany Grimes, with Empower Coaching and Training.
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What if mindfulness isn't just about calming our minds, but about expanding what our brains can imagine, notice, and create.
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We live in a world that is constantly competing for our attention.
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Perhaps you've noticed just a walk through the grocery store will let you see how much work is being done to grab our attention.
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Our brains are busy predicting, protecting, reacting, and relying on familiar patterns.
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While those patterns can be useful, they can also keep us stuck in the same old ways of thinking.
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Here's the really exciting part though.
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As you know, Rewired Listeners, our brains have the capacity to change.
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And today I'm thrilled to welcome back to the Rewired Podcast, Theo Morrison, to talk more about that.
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Theo is a professional certified coach through the International Coaching Federation, a certified whole person coach, a certified mindfulness meditation teacher, and an internal family systems level two graduate.
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He also brings 15 years of experience mentoring individuals in recovery from alcoholism.
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He's also a valued member of the Empower team here at Empower Coaching and Training.
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He provides individual coaching, group coaching.
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He's a workshop facilitator and a facilitator of part of our CPEC program as well.
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Earlier this year, Theo delivered a fascinating keynote at the ICF Oregon conference called The Generative Brain, exploring how we can leverage neuroplasticity and mindfulness to move beyond rigid thinking and unlock greater curiosity, creativity, and possibility.
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And just from that, you can imagine Theo and I can have a great conversation, coaching neuroscience and mindfulness.
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Bring it on.
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And today we're gonna do just that.
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We're exploring what it means to train our attention, develop greater flexibility in our thinking, and bring mindfulness into our work as coaches and leaders, not just for ourselves, but to create the conditions for others to discover what's possible.
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So get curious, settle in, and let's get rewired.
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Thank you.
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It's really a pleasure to be back.
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It's really a pleasure.
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Thank you for having me.
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Yeah.
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I just want to make note that I'm sick and rolling a cough drop around in my mouth.
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So thank you in advance for your patience with me.
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All the great things we get from our children, beautiful memories and really ugly colds.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Well, I, you know, I have the pleasure of working with you in a lot of different capacities.
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But one of them, since April of this year, so months ago at this point, six months ago at this point, I got to be in the audience as you gave a keynote at the ICF Oregon Chapter Conference.
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And your topic was on generative brain.
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And I made all these notes and like books that I want to read and things that you were saying.
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And I just loved it.
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And I thought, if I love it, and I hear you talk about this stuff all the time, I know our listeners would love to hear from you again.
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I just love your approach to mindfulness and to coaching and how you're blending those.
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And seems like getting more and more intentional in that work.
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And yeah, yeah.
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So I'm excited you're here.
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Yeah, I'm excited to be here.
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Yeah.
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Thank you for the opportunity.
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I want to start with, I don't know if we were doing this the last time you were here, but our tradition is to ask about your what empowerment means to you.
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So your definition or just like the symbolism or what it means to you.
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And then also what's currently empowering your life today in October of 2026.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Well, I I love the question.
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It wasn't part of your general framework when we had our our first talk.
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So I was really excited to see that question when you sent me the advanced copy of the question.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And it was a great thing to consider because I've always loved working for Empower and the title of the business, Empower.
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It's just been really great.
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It feels like it is such a fitting way to kind of describe what you've created, what we do at Empower.
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So my answer to that question about you know what is empowerment to me is that it's essentially a way of creating internal harmony that allows me to express whatever specific gifts I have and put those out into the world.
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Poetic.
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I love that internal harmony.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Internal harmony, internal peace, you know, the the things that will allow us to be who we are fully, and all the gifts that spring from that place, and then get to show up in the world.
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That's what empowerment is for me.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I love that.
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And how is that showing up for you these days?
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Okay, so this is this is very funny timing, Tiffany.
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Get ready for a curveball.
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I'm ready.
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Are you ready?
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Ready.
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I mean, I never know, Theo.
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You never know.
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You never know.
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But I think I'm ready.
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I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
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So we'll be all right.
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So last night I did my first performance as a stand-up comedian.
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Shut the front door.
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I'm gonna shut the front door for you.
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Yeah.
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So so this is this is actually just a byproduct of my own process of empowerment.
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It's just been something that I've been curious about for a long time.
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And my wife got me a stand-up comedy class for my birthday this year.
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Oh my god.
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I spent the last six weeks every Sunday for like two and a half hours in this class trying to figure out like what is it that I would want to express in that format, and then kind of workshopping it with a bunch of strangers.
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And then last night was our class performance.
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So I got to go on stage with a big audience and let it rip.
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So oh my gosh, it was it was wild and crazy stuff.
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Yeah, that is so awesome.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Well, now the now the podcast, everything we were gonna talk about, those questions are just off the plate.
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I want to know all about the comedy.
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Yeah, so what's the rating on this podcast?
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I mean to probably determine that first.
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Um no, but the the truth of it is is that you know, when we talk about empowerment, everybody has their flavor, you know, everybody has that thing that they would do if they could not totally be free of fear, but allow fear to be in a place within their internal system, let's say, such that they could just go out and give it a shot and know that with fear, right?
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Like I wasn't amazing, I wasn't horrible, I was just doing what I did, and it was it was kind of amazing.
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And I've got a little bit of a like, you know, I don't know what you would call it, like a hangover from you know, doing that thing that's scary.
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But I've learned through my own process that that is actually just what it feels like to grow, right?
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That discomfort, that like, oh, did people like me?
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That all that stuff is just a part of the growth process.
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And if I can identify it as such, then that becomes more kind of a part of the empowering process.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, it totally makes sense.
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I love it.
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Yep.
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I, you know, Brene Brown, of course.
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I've started just calling her instead of just Brene Brown, I just call her Pastor Brown.
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Pastor Brown, yeah.
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Pastor Brown.
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You know what Pastor Brown says, Hallelujah.
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But she called her after her big TED talk, she called it a vulnerability hangover.
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Yeah, so exactly what you're talking about.
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That all of that, oh God, I did it, and was it good enough?
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And what were people thinking?
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And oh my gosh.
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Yeah, it's so amazing to create.
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The other thing it makes me think about is I tell my kids this all the time that I am just like in awe of them, the things that they're like, sure, I'll try that, you know, sure.
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And I and I will automatically be like, well, they're trying it, so I'm gonna sit over here and see what I can get done, right?
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Like, I have to read this article or do this thing or edit this thing.
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And I've just been recently we're taking a trip at the end of this month to Florida, and I was booking them surf lessons, and I was like, and me too.
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Like, I'm terrified, but so are they, and why not?
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What at what point did we stop saying yes because fear was there, you know?
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So yeah, yeah, I love I love that.
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Yeah, exactly.
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I have a client who always says, feel the fear and do it anyway.
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So I love that, yeah.
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Yeah, no, that's a great motto to live by.
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Well, all right, stand-up comedy.
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I love that.
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I've had a thousand more questions.
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All right, but let's get back to the keynote at the ICF conference, which was so great, you talked about the generative brain.
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And so I'm curious what is the generative brain and what inspired you to explore this intersection between neuroscience, mindfulness, and creativity, but really it could also be coaching, right?
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But uh we'll keep it creativity here.
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But neuroscience, mindfulness, and creativity.
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Yeah, so I suppose the simple way that I would speak about the generative brain really has to do with this idea of having default settings.
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You know, if you think of default settings on, you know, some kind of like you get your microwave or you get anything that's got default settings, right?
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Most of us want to change those default settings.
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And that's true of the brain as well.
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You know, the default settings of the brain are really geared towards a time and a place that we no longer live in.
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Right.
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We talk about this as an environmental mismatch.
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And so in order to have a generative brain, we're going to change those default settings through specific practices, specific skill building practices.
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And as a result of those, we will have a brain that has different characteristics than the one that the default settings provide us.
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So, what that leads to is more cognitive flexibility.
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It leads to more openness, more insight, and more kind of creative flow in the way that we experience our lives and you know, our work, how we approach the challenges that we face, all of those things.
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So the generative brain is really just it's it's a high octane brain.
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It's a brain that can really function, it's more adaptive to the environment that we live in.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I like that.
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Adaptive and like present, right?
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I mean, it's that who do I want to be in this moment versus just this reaction of this is who I've always been or how I was raised to be, or yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, and the the inspiration for that for me was really from my own personal experience.
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So, you know, the stand-up comedy is like a very good example of something that in the past I would have been way too scared to do.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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But through consistent small amounts of practice over a long period of time, you know, I've come to a place where I can go out, do something scary.
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And even if I do have that vulnerability hangover, I know how to walk through that, both in terms of how I regulate my nervous system and also how I reframe, you know, something that used to be a big scary story into something like, no, actually, this is just what growth feels like.
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Yeah.
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So yeah, it's almost meeting it with compassion, that ability to watch it.
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You know, I think about this again.
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I know I keep bringing up kids, but when you kind of watch a child have their fit, if you will, for lack of a better word, yeah, you know, there can be, of course, you can get triggered by it, but there are also moments where I've been able to hover above it.
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And like, of course, this is right, like it's not acceptable, but I can see why this is happening.
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And if I had that the skill set that you had at this age, I might be acting the same way, right?
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It's that compassion to be able, so kind of witnessing that vulnerability hangover as like, yeah, wow, I bet that felt really scary, brain.
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And this is I you didn't ever think you were gonna be there, or yeah, yeah.
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That's beautiful.
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Yeah, that's cool.
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Yeah, yeah, it's been it's been a fun journey.
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And I think, you know, one of those other parts of the question you asked is like what inspired me, and also what is the intersection between the the science and the mindfulness and the creativity?
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And I think for me, there's been there's always been kind of a trust but verify aspect to my own journey, and I think I I share this with you, where you know, the practices definitely yield something, but I also want to know like, what's the evidence for this?
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Is this just me like diluting myself, or can we back this up?
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And you know, there's been so many great pioneers in this area, you know, people like John Cabotzin and and whatnot that have studied this and really shown us that there's so much evidence that these tools work, so that mindfulness is actually just a massive, you know, we can think of it as like a meta skill that we can, if we have this skill, we get to apply it to all the other skills that we might want to develop.
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Yeah.
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And as far as the creativity is concerned, you know, I come from a creative background.
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I've I've been a photographer for, you know, quite a while before I got into coaching.
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And so I do come from that process.
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And I also realized that some of it was really stymied.
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Some of my ability to feel true in my creativity was really dictated by fear.
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And so noticing how science-based or science kind of proven mindfulness techniques allow me to be more and more creative and to have more of a generative mind.
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It's just really juicy.
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So it gets me nervous.
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So that was the inspiration.
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Yeah.
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Oh, that's so great.
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Um it makes me think about what in your professional world, what has been made possible creatively that you were stymied by by fear before.
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Wow.
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I think there's so many different ways I could I could exemplify how that's allowed me to show up differently in my professional world.
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I think teaching is a huge one.
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I I would have struggled to felt to feel comfortable in in those roles in the past.
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And there is an ease that has developed over time.
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And again, it's a it's a process.
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It's not like you snap your fingers and it happens.
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But one of my teachers, Jack Cornfield, used to talk about it as expanding the window of tolerance.
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So we're literally kind of attuning ourselves both in terms of how our nervous systems function, but also in terms of how we frame things as we practice these skills over and over and over again over the weeks and the months and the years, such that regardless of what it is that we're choosing to grow into, we have this greater capacity, this greater resilience.
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So teaching is one way that that's shown up for me.
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Being able to coach people in a way that feels more honest and authentic, calling calling stuff out when you see it, but doing it from a place that's not fear-based, but more, you know, kind of with an ease and a compassion for the person that you're working with.
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Yeah.
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And and just starting to be a little bit more creative in terms of approaching all of these different aspects of what it is that I'm up to.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, that's great.
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You mentioned expanding a window of tolerance, which makes me think of I don't know how you say it.
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Is it VUCA?
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VUCA?
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I never know if it sounds like I'm cussing, but VUCA.
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And how I'm gonna ask you to explain that in a moment, but how VUCA I think makes that window of tolerance smaller and smaller and smaller, right?
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So tell us a little bit about VUCA and what it is, what it stands for, and how we're living, and you kind of talked about this in your in your talk, and then you also shared right alongside this around how we're living in this attention economy, which means our attention is the product.
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And so, what does all of that mean for our brains and our capacity to be present and curious and creative?
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Yeah, yeah, I know I appreciate the question.
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So, VUCA is a term that actually came out of, of all places, the Army War College.
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This was in, I believe, the late 90s, early aughts, and what they recognized was there was just there's and so what it stands for is uh volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity.
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Okay.
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And so what it means is that it's pretty natural to be very confused, right-oriented at any given moment.
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And and that's you know, when we think about the the culture and the political environment and the technological environment that we live in, that's only really accelerated.
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Absolutely.
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So it's much more true that we live in a VUCA world now than it was when they originated the term.
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And as far as our attentional economy and our attention being the product, so so our brains essentially are the product that has created these multi-billion dollar companies in the form, you know, initially of primarily social media, but now of course with AI.
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What that essentially means is that having a generative brain in these circumstances is definitely, you know, we're swimming upstream.
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We are we're definitely moving against the current.
00:20:12.730 --> 00:20:20.569
And so we need to have, you know, like if you imagine you're going upstream, you should probably get yourself a motor or at least an oar.
00:20:21.049 --> 00:20:22.089
You need tools.
00:20:22.329 --> 00:20:24.409
You need tools to swim upstream.
00:20:24.730 --> 00:20:45.450
And so I think mindfulness and associated practices can be or are, you know, really vital in order for us to navigate this this set of circumstances that we face because it's really unprecedented and it's as we said, you know, it's accelerating.
00:20:45.690 --> 00:20:52.970
So we need to kind of ground ourselves in some basic practices in order to to navigate it successfully.
00:20:53.450 --> 00:20:54.009
Yeah.
00:20:54.329 --> 00:20:54.569
Yeah.
00:20:54.889 --> 00:21:01.450
I love how you describe that as swimming upstream, and you're gonna want tools that feels really clear.
00:21:01.609 --> 00:21:12.809
And so I think about you know, what are some of those tools for swimming upstream, which is the the VUCA of daily life right now, as you're mentioning.
00:21:12.889 --> 00:21:18.970
This just like every time I open my phone, I'm like, wait, what is this real or is this a joke?
00:21:19.129 --> 00:21:23.930
Like, is this our newsline or is this a Saturday Night Live real?
00:21:24.250 --> 00:21:24.569
You know?
00:21:24.809 --> 00:21:25.450
Yeah, I know.
00:21:26.009 --> 00:21:28.730
Um and one usually follows the other.
00:21:28.889 --> 00:21:34.009
It's like, no, this is real, and then the next swipe up is like uh, you know, SNL's version of it.
00:21:34.169 --> 00:21:34.490
Yeah.
00:21:34.649 --> 00:21:37.049
Um, yeah, but I love that.
00:21:37.450 --> 00:21:38.970
What tools do I need?
00:21:39.049 --> 00:21:40.809
So, what do I have control over?
00:21:41.049 --> 00:21:48.569
And how committed am I to really being present in this and practicing these tools?
00:21:48.889 --> 00:21:52.169
Yeah, yeah, I think that's a that's a really great question.
00:21:52.409 --> 00:22:02.250
One of the frameworks that I find really helpful actually came out of a book, and I'm forgetting the woman's name, but the book is called Dopamine Nation.
00:22:02.490 --> 00:22:03.690
I highly recommend it.
00:22:03.930 --> 00:22:04.250
Okay.
00:22:04.490 --> 00:22:10.730
And one of the concepts in there is is friction and how we relate to friction.
00:22:10.970 --> 00:22:35.769
And essentially, when we think of VUCA or we think of you know any of these attentional economy forces that that come into our worlds, whether that be social media or AI or whatnot, their their main goal is to create this dopamine loop, to create convenience, to create something that's frictionless, that's easy.
00:22:36.169 --> 00:22:41.609
If we think of our development, if we think of the generative brain, it requires friction.
00:22:42.009 --> 00:22:44.730
It requires small, consistent amounts of friction over.
00:22:45.289 --> 00:22:50.569
Over long periods of time in order to, you know, really be to take root.
00:22:50.730 --> 00:22:56.250
And so embracing friction is actually a really good, you know, like what can I do to be bored?
00:22:56.569 --> 00:23:08.569
What can I do to, you know, essentially interrupt that chain of kind of living within the digital atmosphere that tends to create bad outcomes for us.
00:23:08.809 --> 00:23:26.649
But some of the other tools, I think, from the 30,000-foot view, I think the way that I would summarize it is just learning how to be curious about our conscious experience as a practice on a regular basis.
00:23:26.809 --> 00:23:36.169
So just consistently investigating from our own perspective what it's like to be conscious and becoming more and more curious about that.
00:23:36.329 --> 00:23:40.169
That's that's the basic goal of mindfulness, right?
00:23:40.250 --> 00:23:45.450
Is we need to investigate what it's like to have a brain.
00:23:45.690 --> 00:24:05.529
And in that investigation process, and there's a lot of different ways we can approach it, we start to, as we embrace that curiosity, we start to get more expansiveness, we start to reduce the rigidity with which our default settings have us, you know, behaving.
00:24:05.769 --> 00:24:18.889
And then with that, the generative brain starts to become more emboldened, you know, the resilience builds, and that allows for all of the things that we we really want, right?
00:24:19.049 --> 00:24:28.009
More flexible cognition, more creativity, more freedom, less fear, you know, all those, all those types of outcomes.
00:24:28.329 --> 00:24:28.970
Yeah.
00:24:29.609 --> 00:24:30.089
Yeah.
00:24:30.329 --> 00:24:49.849
You know, the I I guess I want to, I'm thinking about with we're talking about neuroplasticity and really, you know, building our brain, building today's brain purposefully and not letting, you know, the brain from a decade ago or two decades ago lead us.
00:24:50.250 --> 00:24:59.930
I'm curious though, I think the feedback that I get or the pushback I get a lot is people love this concept, they don't have time, right?
00:25:00.569 --> 00:25:13.450
And so I'm curious about what can the everyday person who's living in this VUCA world and in an attention economy, what can we actually do?
00:25:13.609 --> 00:25:16.329
Like, do we have to carve out an hour a day?
00:25:16.490 --> 00:25:21.289
Do we how does it how do we actually build a generative brain?
00:25:22.089 --> 00:25:27.210
Yeah, so I don't think you need to carve out an hour a day.
00:25:27.849 --> 00:25:48.169
The most recent research that I'm aware of suggests that it's 12 minutes is really where you hit that point of mindfulness practice that will allow you to garner the benefits that all the research has shown we can garner from from a practice.
00:25:48.569 --> 00:25:58.089
And more than that, though, what I would suggest is first of all, just learning how to breathe intentionally on a somewhat regular basis.
00:25:58.649 --> 00:26:10.009
I mean, that is that is the lowest hanging fruit and something that I use with clients pretty regularly is let's just breathe a little bit and let's breathe slowly and intentionally.
00:26:10.649 --> 00:26:19.289
And the simplest way to think of this is that oftentimes what we're doing is we're we're living on the default settings and looking for threats.
00:26:19.529 --> 00:26:24.169
You know, these negativity biases are are really based on our survival.
00:26:24.329 --> 00:26:30.970
And to counteract them, we need to send a message to our nervous system that we're in a safe environment.
00:26:31.210 --> 00:26:36.970
And the the most effective way to do that is to utilize the breath.
00:26:37.529 --> 00:26:43.609
So I I think of it as being, in some ways, two buckets that we're that we're dealing with here.
00:26:43.769 --> 00:26:50.009
The first is the nervous system and making sure that we have a practice, and this can be 30 seconds, right?
00:26:50.089 --> 00:26:52.970
And you can just set your phone for an alarm.
00:26:53.289 --> 00:27:04.889
And in the same way, you might, you know, go grab you know your noon coffee or go on lunch break, take 30 seconds and just take three intentional deep breaths.
00:27:05.210 --> 00:27:09.529
Count in for five, count out for five, count in for five, count out for five.
00:27:09.930 --> 00:27:13.769
Just doing that will downregulate your nervous system.
00:27:13.849 --> 00:27:14.009
Yeah.
00:27:14.329 --> 00:27:18.649
And as a byproduct, your brain starts to integrate more completely.
00:27:18.809 --> 00:27:21.369
You're no longer in the amygdala, right?
00:27:21.450 --> 00:27:27.690
You're engaging the prefrontal cortex, you're you're moving towards the generative brain, literally, right?
00:27:27.930 --> 00:27:33.930
So, so the breathing and the and the regulation of the nervous system is the kind of foundational element.
00:27:34.250 --> 00:27:38.970
And then the second bucket is having to do with the cognitive reframing, right?
00:27:39.129 --> 00:27:44.089
How is it that I'm relating to the the thoughts that my brain is spitting out, right?
00:27:44.250 --> 00:27:54.490
Because the settings obviously are, you know, we're looking at the glass half empty, we've got, you know, we don't have the rose-colored glasses on, we have the threat-colored glasses on.
00:27:54.730 --> 00:28:01.849
So once we have regulation online, then we can move towards cognitive reframing practices.
00:28:02.329 --> 00:28:07.930
So those are those are the the kind of basic buckets, and there's all kinds of tools within those.
00:28:08.169 --> 00:28:12.970
Breath work is is you know kind of the fundamental as far as regulation goes.
00:28:13.289 --> 00:28:17.769
But as far as the the reframing, there's a whole bunch of different things that we can do.
00:28:18.089 --> 00:28:19.529
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:19.849 --> 00:28:22.490
I love the one I've been loving lately.
00:28:23.450 --> 00:28:30.569
I forget the guy's name, but it's from his book is I think it's called Breath, and he talks about deep breathing.
00:28:31.210 --> 00:28:31.289
Yeah.
00:28:31.849 --> 00:28:32.490
James Nestor.
00:28:32.730 --> 00:28:34.490
Yes, James Nestor, yeah.
00:28:34.649 --> 00:28:44.089
And it's this like the how all of the good stuff that we want is deeper in our lungs, and how most of our breathing is up higher in our lungs.
00:28:44.329 --> 00:28:46.089
And so I just try that.
00:28:46.329 --> 00:28:54.809
I just do chest, belly, belly, chest, chest, belly, belly, chest, and just focus on trying to fill that and empty that.
00:28:54.970 --> 00:28:56.809
And yeah, I love that.
00:28:56.970 --> 00:29:00.409
And then that's a nervous system conversation.
00:29:00.649 --> 00:29:00.889
Yeah.
00:29:01.049 --> 00:29:11.529
Then once I'm there, then what you're saying is that's when really we can go in and start to kind of be curious and be creative and figure out what we're working with up here.
00:29:11.849 --> 00:29:12.169
Yeah.
00:29:12.409 --> 00:29:13.450
It's actually, yeah.
00:29:13.849 --> 00:29:33.210
One other thing I would mention that I'd forgotten about earlier, as far as regulating the nervous system, is is engaging in allocentric experience, meaning literally just like going outside and widening your field of view, trying to really engage your peripheral, look at the sky, look at the horizon line.
00:29:33.450 --> 00:29:41.769
And that is another way to downregulate, because generally speaking, in human history, any threat would be coming from the ground.
00:29:42.009 --> 00:29:42.409
Right.
00:29:42.569 --> 00:29:56.889
So if we're looking up and we're trying to take in like the full peripheral, that's literally like the antithesis of looking for a threat, which is generally more, you know, kind of like specific and pointed vision on the ground.
00:29:57.210 --> 00:29:58.409
Oh, I love that.
00:29:58.889 --> 00:30:03.609
Just go in and you know, take in the fall foliage and look up at the sky for 20 seconds.
00:30:04.009 --> 00:30:04.329
Yeah.
00:30:04.809 --> 00:30:10.329
At least right now the weather's really beautiful, and it's like a great way to just reset yourself periodically.
00:30:11.049 --> 00:30:25.769
I'm much more in favor of people having like you know, miniature practices throughout the day than trying to have like a 20-minute meditation every morning and then getting frustrated and giving it up, right?
00:30:25.930 --> 00:30:29.049
Just like sprinkle these things throughout the day.
00:30:29.450 --> 00:30:33.210
And your tilt process, that's another one that I would throw out there, right?
00:30:33.609 --> 00:30:37.450
Really engaging something that counteracts the negativity bias.
00:30:37.609 --> 00:30:40.649
What can I see in my world right now that's good?
00:30:40.809 --> 00:30:51.849
And how can I marinate in that for just a little bit, you know, and doing that consistently over time is is really a massive shift for folks.
00:30:52.250 --> 00:30:52.569
Yeah.
00:30:52.889 --> 00:31:01.529
I heard a new, I think it came out of psychology, but the new phrase for that is called, they just call it savoring.
00:31:01.769 --> 00:31:04.490
It's like a mindful practice of savoring.
00:31:04.569 --> 00:31:05.849
And I'm like, oh, I love it.
00:31:06.009 --> 00:31:06.730
Yeah, savoring.
00:31:07.049 --> 00:31:09.289
Yeah, awe can be really amazing.
00:31:09.849 --> 00:31:25.930
Taking a moment to recognize something that's just I love what you're saying about the micro practices because 20 minutes, you know, it's embarrassing to say, but it does feel like God, 20 minutes, where am I gonna get 20 minutes out of a day?
00:31:26.250 --> 00:31:29.210
But it's just the truth of our American life.
00:31:29.450 --> 00:31:36.970
And but 10 30-second practices, right?
00:31:37.049 --> 00:31:38.970
If I miss the first one, I'm okay.
00:31:39.049 --> 00:31:42.250
I still got nine more I could participate in during the day.
00:31:42.329 --> 00:31:42.490
Yeah.
00:31:42.730 --> 00:31:47.849
And then maybe I can't pick it up here, but I could pick it up here when I leave the car rather than when I'm going to the car.
00:31:47.930 --> 00:31:53.210
There's just a lot more to work with, I think, for the realities of a lot of people.
00:31:53.769 --> 00:31:54.089
Yeah.
00:31:54.250 --> 00:31:56.809
I sometimes will also have people track their time.
00:31:57.129 --> 00:31:59.210
That's something that can be really useful.
00:31:59.369 --> 00:32:01.849
Because when you start to talk about that, what's that mean?
00:32:02.169 --> 00:32:06.009
Well, it's just that simple idea that what gets measured gets managed.
00:32:06.250 --> 00:32:16.730
You know, so if I if I harness my awareness and I point it at something that I'm, you know, trying to have an effect on, one of the simplest ways that I can have an effect on that is just to look at it.
00:32:17.049 --> 00:32:17.529
Right.
00:32:17.690 --> 00:32:23.129
It turns out that if you want to lose weight, the simplest thing you can do is just start to write down the things that you eat.
00:32:23.289 --> 00:32:23.529
Yeah.
00:32:23.690 --> 00:32:23.849
Right.
00:32:24.009 --> 00:32:25.769
Because then all of a sudden you have awareness.
00:32:26.409 --> 00:32:30.009
And that awareness naturally leads to more conscious decisions.
00:32:30.250 --> 00:32:41.849
So if you're tracking your time, even just in like, you know, hour increments, and you find yourself scrolling on your phone, and all of a sudden it's been half an hour, suddenly you're like, well, yeah, actually, I do have 20 minutes.
00:32:41.930 --> 00:32:42.089
Right.
00:32:42.169 --> 00:32:44.409
And a lot of people have a lot more realize.
00:32:44.809 --> 00:32:49.690
Sure enough, I do have 20 minutes that I use lots of times throughout the day.
00:32:49.930 --> 00:32:51.450
Yeah, great point.
00:32:51.609 --> 00:32:52.089
Great point.
00:32:52.409 --> 00:33:02.569
So, anyway, and just again, with the spirit of curiosity, not to like bludgeon ourselves, because there's a there's a tendency to be like, I'm gonna be really militant about this new program.
00:33:02.730 --> 00:33:05.129
And and that's the rigidity, right?
00:33:05.289 --> 00:33:12.730
So we're trying to bring gentleness, self-compassion, ease, curiosity, spaciousness, humanity, just humanity.
00:33:12.809 --> 00:33:13.930
We're trying to bring humanity in.
00:33:14.250 --> 00:33:15.210
Yeah, exactly.
00:33:15.450 --> 00:33:17.769
Yeah, that's so great.
00:33:18.169 --> 00:33:22.569
Well, let's bring this into the world of coaching a little bit.
00:33:22.809 --> 00:33:27.450
So you're you're a professional coach, obviously, and uh PCC level coach.
00:33:28.649 --> 00:33:34.809
So, you know, in coaching, we're not trying to obviously tell people what to do or give advice, right?
00:33:34.889 --> 00:33:47.210
What we're trying to help them do is get into that to witness themselves and to find that their own brilliance in that, um, and really helping find new ways of of being and seeing themselves.
00:33:47.529 --> 00:33:58.009
And so, how does mindfulness support that process and what happens in the brain when clients kind of make that shift?
00:33:58.169 --> 00:34:01.129
And I'm asking specifically because you bring mindfulness.
00:34:01.609 --> 00:34:07.529
You said you know, you're guiding people through breathing, and what what happens in that shift for people?
00:34:07.609 --> 00:34:08.409
I'm I'm curious.
00:34:08.490 --> 00:34:11.450
How do you bring that into your work and what happens in that shift?
00:34:12.490 --> 00:34:14.090
Yeah, that's a great question.
00:34:15.050 --> 00:34:21.930
So that shift to me happens again through that foundational element of regulation.
00:34:23.210 --> 00:34:32.409
So the question that we could ask is what would happen if you felt at peace in your own body in this moment?
00:34:33.529 --> 00:34:52.969
What would the thoughts that come from that place be like versus the thoughts that come from the state that you're currently in, which is often, you know, with my clients, one of dysregulation, anxiety, overwhelm, those types of things.
00:34:53.289 --> 00:35:05.769
So the the ability, the literal ability for the brain to function in any kind of generative way is often disabled when we're in that state, when we're worried about this, that, or the other, you know.
00:35:06.089 --> 00:35:07.929
So regulation is key.
00:35:08.009 --> 00:35:30.009
And depending on how folks are showing up, I will often just invite them into a short practice, you know, whether that's the tilt, whether that's just like that's it could be a self-compassion, it could be just a simple breathing exercise, just to kind of ground them a little bit and have them notice the way that they are safe right now.
00:35:30.409 --> 00:35:33.609
Because again, we're talking about the brain defaulting to threat.
00:35:33.769 --> 00:35:37.449
So let's recognize that we're safe right now.
00:35:38.249 --> 00:35:50.809
And once we've established that, once we've send that signal to the brain from the body by breathing, by looking up at the sky.
00:35:50.969 --> 00:35:58.889
Sometimes it can be helpful to turn around to your left and turn around to your right because the risk the lizard brain thinks that there's a threat.
00:35:58.969 --> 00:36:01.049
So you need to tell it actually, there's no threat.
00:36:01.369 --> 00:36:02.089
You're safe right now.
00:36:02.569 --> 00:36:03.529
Provide evidence.
00:36:03.849 --> 00:36:05.369
Provide the evidence, exactly.
00:36:05.609 --> 00:36:12.409
And then from that place, once we've gotten the down regulation, then we can work with something.
00:36:12.569 --> 00:36:17.929
And then the the tone of the body actually starts to inform the mind.
00:36:18.169 --> 00:36:22.249
We get into a more generative state, and then things start to open up.
00:36:22.489 --> 00:36:35.049
And we also start to dispel the illusion that the brain is constantly presenting us, which is that I will let you be content when, and then we fill in the blank.
00:36:35.289 --> 00:36:35.689
Yeah.
00:36:35.929 --> 00:36:36.249
Okay.
00:36:36.409 --> 00:36:42.969
So a lot of coaching is is got this premise of like, oh, we can celebrate when you got the new job.
00:36:43.049 --> 00:36:48.009
We can celebrate once you feel like your kids' behavior is under control.
00:36:48.169 --> 00:36:54.009
We can celebrate, and there's always this contingency on our sense of contentment and well-being.
00:36:54.729 --> 00:36:57.209
But it needs to be flipped, right?
00:36:57.449 --> 00:37:04.329
So, how can we feel whole and at peace and complete and good enough now?
00:37:04.889 --> 00:37:05.209
Yeah.
00:37:05.529 --> 00:37:08.489
And then from that place, what do we want to do?
00:37:09.129 --> 00:37:10.089
What's important?
00:37:10.569 --> 00:37:10.809
Right.
00:37:10.889 --> 00:37:14.969
And that leads to much different thought processes.
00:37:15.129 --> 00:37:19.769
It leads to more agency, more hope.
00:37:20.329 --> 00:37:26.329
So that's kind of the way I I think of it, just in terms of how I'm approaching clients.
00:37:26.409 --> 00:37:31.369
I'm I'm trying to help them understand that they're actually they're okay right now, and let's celebrate that.
00:37:31.449 --> 00:37:33.849
And then from there, what do we want to change?
00:37:34.009 --> 00:37:51.609
So it's it feels a little bit like a contradiction, but the more folks can really be at peace with things just as they are right now, to celebrate life as it exists, warts and all now, the more capacity they have to change their situation.
00:37:52.009 --> 00:37:52.569
Yeah.
00:37:52.809 --> 00:37:54.809
Oh, it's so it's so real.
00:37:55.449 --> 00:38:02.009
Do you integrate, do you invite mindfulness into your coaching practice?
00:38:02.089 --> 00:38:23.289
Or is it like, you know, if you start off with it, I know you you're definitely sewing it in with these questions that you're asking, and I love, but as a starting point to a practice, do you invite it in, or is it kind of just part of your regular practice that you bring in, or do you bring it in if the moment seems to call for it?
00:38:23.689 --> 00:38:26.089
Generally, if the moment seems to call for it.
00:38:26.329 --> 00:38:26.649
Okay.
00:38:26.969 --> 00:38:35.289
You know, I think it's really best to allow client, it's client-led experience, obviously, and I don't want to presume.
00:38:35.529 --> 00:38:37.129
And it's always an invitation.
00:38:37.449 --> 00:38:39.049
You know, would would you be willing?
00:38:39.129 --> 00:38:42.009
Was this sound like something that could be helpful?
00:38:42.169 --> 00:38:46.089
I'm noticing that, you know, maybe we could try.
00:38:46.409 --> 00:38:46.729
Yeah.
00:38:47.049 --> 00:39:13.609
So, but I I can't, there's maybe out of the hundreds of times that I've integrated a practice into a session, I think maybe there's I don't know, maybe five that I can think of where it's it's not worked, you know, where there's been a level of dysregulation that has really not been able to touch the fundamental state that the person is in.
00:39:13.769 --> 00:39:46.759
And usually at that point, we're we're actually in a situation where we need some mental health beyond coaching.
00:39:46.919 --> 00:39:46.999
Yeah.
00:39:47.239 --> 00:39:48.439
That's been my experience.
00:39:48.759 --> 00:39:49.399
Yeah.
00:39:49.719 --> 00:39:51.239
Wow, that's fascinating.
00:39:51.399 --> 00:39:51.799
Yeah.
00:39:52.119 --> 00:39:55.879
I've been doing more of it in the beginning, you know, with permission.
00:39:55.959 --> 00:40:02.519
And then I'll do it in our first, let's say, four or five sessions together, and then I'll ask, do you want to continue this?
00:40:02.679 --> 00:40:03.559
Is this working for you?
00:40:03.799 --> 00:40:06.599
And same thing, overwhelmingly, like, yes, please.
00:40:06.839 --> 00:40:07.559
Love this.
00:40:07.959 --> 00:40:08.999
Yeah, love this.
00:40:09.239 --> 00:40:09.479
Yeah.
00:40:09.799 --> 00:40:10.039
Yeah.
00:40:10.119 --> 00:40:21.479
And it's it's really profound for clients to feel rather than to think, you know, and from that felt experience, so much more can start to happen, I find.
00:40:22.359 --> 00:40:23.559
Absolutely.
00:40:26.439 --> 00:40:26.839
Yeah.
00:40:27.239 --> 00:40:30.039
Well, let's bring this into the world of leadership.
00:40:30.199 --> 00:40:37.239
So we talked about mindfulness within coaching, this generative brain and helping ourselves and clients get to this.
00:40:37.399 --> 00:40:42.839
I want to bring this generative brain into leadership where it's so needed, also.
00:40:43.479 --> 00:41:02.519
So if we imagine a leader facilitating a meeting where people are, you know, overwhelmed or defensive or just stuck in problem, how might a leader who's listening to this use mindfulness to create just changing the state or the conditions of that scenario?
00:41:02.679 --> 00:41:07.399
So we're bringing in more curiosity or collaboration or generative thinking.
00:41:07.559 --> 00:41:08.999
What might that leader do?
00:41:09.399 --> 00:41:10.599
Yeah, that's a great question.
00:41:10.679 --> 00:41:11.559
I love that.
00:41:11.879 --> 00:41:12.279
Yeah.
00:41:12.359 --> 00:41:16.119
So I've worked with some leaders within our CPEC program.
00:41:16.599 --> 00:41:26.119
And it's really, it's really fascinating to see what it is that they they contend with, their roles and their responsibilities.
00:41:26.359 --> 00:41:35.239
And it actually reminds me of what you said earlier when you were talking about your kids, and sometimes I'm able to float above, right?
00:41:35.879 --> 00:41:52.279
As opposed to have their, you know, frustration, dysregulation, confusion, you know, resentment towards you or someone else, you know, that can sometimes create the same thing in us.
00:41:52.599 --> 00:41:52.839
Right.
00:41:52.999 --> 00:41:59.639
And so as a leader, I think it's it's pretty critical to be able to float above, as you were saying.
00:41:59.719 --> 00:42:05.879
It is somewhat similar to being a parent, you know, in the sense that we need to lead by example.
00:42:06.199 --> 00:42:06.519
Right.
00:42:06.759 --> 00:42:20.439
So that means that I, as a leader, have to have a practice that allows me to walk into a room that feels very tense and to maintain my own sense of calm, right?
00:42:20.599 --> 00:42:28.439
To float above that in a way that can help facilitate others to notice, and this happens, right?
00:42:28.599 --> 00:42:40.439
This is something that mammals do, that I am regulated in the same way that a child that's having a tantrum, a child is dependent upon us for their own regulation.
00:42:40.599 --> 00:42:44.599
So if we get dysregulated, then things start to get worse and worse and worse and it erupts.
00:42:44.759 --> 00:42:45.559
And we all know this.
00:42:45.639 --> 00:42:49.399
And it's not that we're all going to be perfect because we have these tools.
00:42:49.559 --> 00:42:52.839
It's just that we're going to notice more when we're imperfect, right?
00:42:52.999 --> 00:43:26.439
So from a leader's point of view, what my suggestion is to have a practice yourself so that when you do walk into one of those meetings where things have really gone off the rails, that you are calm in the storm, that you have the ability to notice how your breathing is and maybe take some intentional breaths, because that's going to allow you to have an integrated mind, to be able to have more expansive thinking, more flexible cognition, more creativity in how you approach things.
00:43:26.679 --> 00:43:34.759
Depending on the culture of the organization, I would suggest that as a leader, leading some kind of practice is a really good idea.
00:43:34.919 --> 00:43:46.839
Whether that's a simple breathing exercise, whether that's a compassion practice, so that everybody starts to feel more empathy for each other and themselves as they face whatever the challenges that they're facing.
00:43:47.079 --> 00:43:48.759
I think those are totally appropriate.
00:43:48.919 --> 00:43:50.599
And I know that that's not for everybody.
00:43:50.679 --> 00:43:56.599
So, you know, it depends on the kind of the culture that's been created in the organization.
00:43:56.839 --> 00:43:57.159
Yeah.
00:43:57.399 --> 00:44:15.959
I also think that the practice of literally having everybody who's on the team stand shoulder to shoulder and on a piece of paper that's taped to the wall, write what it is that the challenge is.
00:44:16.199 --> 00:44:16.439
Right.
00:44:16.599 --> 00:44:25.639
So rather than being oppositional, physically oppositional to one another, turning shoulder to shoulder, facing something as a group, right?
00:44:25.799 --> 00:44:27.079
As a I love that.
00:44:27.159 --> 00:44:28.039
Like a group think.
00:44:28.359 --> 00:44:30.919
We together are together are facing this.
00:44:31.799 --> 00:44:32.279
Yeah, yeah.
00:44:32.519 --> 00:44:38.359
Yeah, because oftentimes if we're across from one another, and this happens within couples, this happens within families.
00:44:38.519 --> 00:44:51.239
If we're across from one another, there is just this innate physical nervous system, caveman like tendency to be combative, to start pointing the somebody's gonna win, somebody's gonna lose.
00:44:51.479 --> 00:44:52.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:44:52.119 --> 00:44:55.639
And it's like models of power, like what we teach in in Launchpad, right?
00:44:55.879 --> 00:44:57.239
Yeah, absolutely.
00:44:57.399 --> 00:44:58.839
Yeah, yeah.
00:44:59.319 --> 00:45:01.239
I want to go back to what you said.
00:45:01.399 --> 00:45:02.199
I loved it.
00:45:02.279 --> 00:45:08.599
So, as a leader in a room, we might even guide something.
00:45:08.759 --> 00:45:23.719
So you know, whether It's a breathing exercise or just a check-in with self, or and what I want to do is just grab the listener who is rolling their eyes right now and just like, oh yeah, well, I'm gonna bring that to work, sure.
00:45:24.199 --> 00:45:29.639
Because what I want to invite you to do is think about how you can do it, what would your version look like?
00:45:29.879 --> 00:45:32.039
Is it a guiding question?
00:45:32.199 --> 00:45:37.959
You know, just something like who do you, what type of leader do you want to be today?
00:45:38.039 --> 00:45:52.599
Or what what part of you do you want to bring into the room to really as we talk, as we hold this space and have this hard discussion, or whatever it like it doesn't have to be everybody's deep breathing together if that makes people feel uncomfortable?
00:45:52.759 --> 00:45:53.879
Well, then what is it?
00:45:54.119 --> 00:45:55.319
What is it that you're doing?
00:45:55.479 --> 00:46:01.079
You know, do you have them visualize just for a moment of this working out, right?
00:46:01.159 --> 00:46:02.759
Like what would it work?
00:46:02.919 --> 00:46:11.479
What would it feel like to see this move forward and to unlock and what what happens for you as you envision that in your body?
00:46:11.559 --> 00:46:14.359
And it can look a lot of different ways.
00:46:14.679 --> 00:46:16.759
Yeah, yeah, sure.
00:46:16.999 --> 00:46:24.599
Yeah, the thing that comes up for me when you say that is really just the solution-focused thinking practices, yeah.
00:46:24.999 --> 00:46:46.999
And the way that we can start to ask ourselves questions that are really about learning from perhaps some mistakes or imperfections in you know what's led to this current circumstance, learning from that, but then facing forward and asking ourselves, well, what are we what are we learning here?
00:46:47.319 --> 00:46:48.439
And what do we want?
00:46:48.599 --> 00:46:50.279
You know, that's a really powerful question.
00:46:50.439 --> 00:46:52.039
What do you want of this?
00:46:52.439 --> 00:46:55.879
Yeah, what would an ideal outcome be for you?
00:46:56.199 --> 00:46:56.759
So good.
00:46:56.999 --> 00:46:58.279
What would an out an ideal?
00:46:58.759 --> 00:47:05.879
And this is also in Crucial Conversations, you know, which we teach in Launchpad, which is what do I want for myself?
00:47:06.359 --> 00:47:09.399
What do I want for everybody in this room?
00:47:09.559 --> 00:47:11.559
What do I want for this organization?
00:47:11.959 --> 00:47:15.239
And then what would I do if I really wanted those things?
00:47:15.399 --> 00:47:15.559
Yeah.
00:47:15.719 --> 00:47:17.159
How would my behavior change?
00:47:17.479 --> 00:47:18.439
I love that.
00:47:18.759 --> 00:47:19.719
Such a good one.
00:47:19.799 --> 00:47:20.279
Yeah.
00:47:20.519 --> 00:47:20.919
Yeah.
00:47:21.399 --> 00:47:22.039
So good.
00:47:22.279 --> 00:47:30.279
And I think what you're identifying is what we're saying is I think in leadership we can get so stuck in the doing.
00:47:30.439 --> 00:47:43.479
Who's got this task and KPIs and outcomes and performance, and yeah, but like the being, if we just focus a bit on the being as a leader, we will see greater outcomes.
00:47:43.719 --> 00:47:43.959
Yeah.
00:47:44.199 --> 00:47:48.679
Read any, you know, Forbes article, read any HRB article like that.
00:47:48.759 --> 00:47:49.959
It supports it.
00:47:50.199 --> 00:47:50.519
Yeah.
00:47:50.759 --> 00:47:53.959
But there's that fear to wrap us back to the beginning.
00:47:54.119 --> 00:47:57.879
There's the fear of like, what will people think of me if I invite this or do this work?
00:47:57.959 --> 00:47:58.919
And well, yeah.
00:47:59.079 --> 00:48:01.079
And then then we get back to Pastor Brian.
00:48:01.239 --> 00:48:02.039
Yeah, that's right.
00:48:02.359 --> 00:48:04.199
Like, what does it look like to be vulnerable?
00:48:04.439 --> 00:48:05.559
Yeah, absolutely.
00:48:06.039 --> 00:48:12.679
What does it look like to lean into the things that are obviously totally evidence-based?
00:48:12.919 --> 00:48:13.239
Right.
00:48:13.479 --> 00:48:36.199
Very well proven, and still have some, you know, cultural baggage that feels vulnerable, that feels a little scary, you know, and and to be fair, mindfulness as a as a word, as a brand, is really broad and has been misappropriated.
00:48:36.359 --> 00:48:41.799
And I'm sure there's a lot of supplements that are out there that have come along for the ride.
00:48:42.039 --> 00:48:57.479
You know, so we've got we've got a lot of, you know, there's the and there's people out there that are really trying to to do the work to to make it more about cognitive retraining, yeah, rather than mindfulness.
00:48:57.559 --> 00:49:02.279
And well, I'm so glad you mentioned that because that was one of the things I remember circling.
00:49:02.359 --> 00:49:08.999
I think I even asked you about afterwards was you were using the word neural training rather than mindfulness.
00:49:09.079 --> 00:49:10.279
And I I loved it.
00:49:10.359 --> 00:49:13.799
It was really this shift for me of like, yeah, because you're you're right.
00:49:13.879 --> 00:49:16.599
I mean, and sometimes coaching has that same rap, right?
00:49:16.679 --> 00:49:23.799
Like, yeah, you I feel like every professional coach grapples, at least for a while, with like, what else could I call myself?
00:49:23.959 --> 00:49:26.199
You know, exactly.
00:49:26.439 --> 00:49:26.759
Yeah.
00:49:26.919 --> 00:49:29.799
So I think, yeah, I I love that rebranding.
00:49:31.159 --> 00:49:31.479
All right.
00:49:31.559 --> 00:49:43.639
Well, speaking of your talk, you had this was another thing I wrote down and then have not yet followed through with, but you mentioned a book, Bronny Ware's book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
00:49:44.279 --> 00:49:49.399
And I I've heard that book referenced a few times, and every time I'm like, God, I really want to listen.
00:49:49.479 --> 00:49:54.679
I have this image of me, I don't know, image, vision of me listening to this on a road trip.
00:49:54.839 --> 00:49:56.279
This is where I want to listen to this.
00:49:56.439 --> 00:49:56.679
Yeah.
00:49:56.839 --> 00:49:58.199
And I just haven't nailed it yet.
00:49:58.279 --> 00:49:59.079
So, but I will.
00:49:59.239 --> 00:50:05.799
But I wrote it down again, and I'm curious, how does that work connect with generative brain ideas?
00:50:05.959 --> 00:50:13.239
And what might change in how we live and lead if we become more intentional about where we place our attention.
00:50:13.559 --> 00:50:14.839
Yeah, no, that's great.
00:50:14.919 --> 00:50:15.879
I love that.
00:50:16.119 --> 00:50:30.999
Yeah, so the the the summary from that book, from my point of view, is the regrets of the dying, if you were to just put it in a sentence, is I wish I wouldn't have listened to the fear.
00:50:32.839 --> 00:50:33.399
That's it.
00:50:34.199 --> 00:50:37.399
I wish I wish I wouldn't have listened to the fear.
00:50:37.879 --> 00:50:42.839
The fear dictated my behaviors, it dictated the choices I made.
00:50:43.719 --> 00:50:45.639
And that is a huge regret.
00:50:45.799 --> 00:50:46.759
That is the regret.
00:50:46.999 --> 00:50:48.919
You know, that's the takeaway from that book.
00:50:49.239 --> 00:50:51.959
So so then how do we counteract that?
00:50:52.759 --> 00:51:01.079
And we can counteract that by looking at death, by looking at mortality in some ways as a practice.
00:51:01.479 --> 00:51:19.879
You know, a lot of a lot of the the mindfulness practitioners from Buddhism talk about this idea of contemplating death five times a day as a tool to really recognize that we are not here forever, even though we tend to think we will be.
00:51:20.119 --> 00:51:25.319
And I don't know if you can relate to this, but I wake up and sometimes I look in the mirror, I'm like, who is that guy?
00:51:25.639 --> 00:51:26.599
What is that old lady?
00:51:28.839 --> 00:51:29.959
I don't get it.
00:51:30.279 --> 00:51:32.199
Anyway, so you get the idea.
00:51:32.359 --> 00:51:36.279
And I also actually had, and this is I get the idea, friend, every day.
00:51:36.519 --> 00:51:37.719
I get the idea.
00:51:38.039 --> 00:51:41.079
And I had this experience actually three days ago.
00:51:41.159 --> 00:51:43.959
This is another apropos thing that you asked this question.
00:51:44.279 --> 00:51:51.399
I just recently had a biopsy, and I've always been Teflon, always.
00:51:51.639 --> 00:51:53.239
I just I'm lucky, right?
00:51:53.319 --> 00:51:58.759
I'm I'm I'm able-bodied, got a great immune system, all these things.
00:51:59.319 --> 00:52:08.279
And I just assumed, you know, biopsy, whatever, like they'll come back negative, and no, and I get this voicemail and I had a really busy day.
00:52:08.519 --> 00:52:15.959
And so I just looked at the text of the voicemail, and it said, you know, we found cancerous cells, and da da da.
00:52:17.399 --> 00:52:22.359
And and I didn't have time to actually listen to the voicemail or do any research about what it was.
00:52:22.599 --> 00:52:28.999
I just had a like, you know, from the minute I woke up to you know, sunset, I was just go, go, go.
00:52:29.079 --> 00:52:29.399
Right.
00:52:29.719 --> 00:52:35.239
And so I had that in my mind, like, I have no idea what this really means.
00:52:35.399 --> 00:52:36.039
Like what?
00:52:36.199 --> 00:52:39.959
And all of a sudden, it just shifted everything.
00:52:40.119 --> 00:52:51.639
You know, I was kind of like, whoa, what if and it turns out that it's uh non-threatening, and you know, they're just gonna take it's like the very if if there's anything you can get, this is what you want, right?
00:52:51.799 --> 00:52:56.039
It's just they take the top layer of the skin off and it's good, right?
00:52:56.279 --> 00:53:06.679
Okay, and it's cancer, you know, and we all are gonna die, and some of us sooner than others, and we really have no idea how or when that'll happen.
00:53:06.919 --> 00:53:25.559
And keeping that close is a really powerful way to draw us towards the generative brain by way of meaning, by way of authenticity, by way of recognizing I don't want to have those regrets.
00:53:26.199 --> 00:53:35.479
I don't want to be lying on my deathbed wishing that I had found the courage to do the thing, right?
00:53:36.119 --> 00:53:44.199
And what's required as a byproduct of moving towards that vision for ourselves is the generative brain.
00:53:44.759 --> 00:53:53.479
Then we begin to pick up the tools because we're motivated by the meaning that gets created by this relationship that we have to our own mortality.
00:53:55.079 --> 00:53:56.679
So that makes sense.
00:53:58.279 --> 00:54:01.799
So good, so real.
00:54:02.039 --> 00:54:10.279
I mean, it's just that, you know, we get so busy that we've aren't engaged in life.
00:54:10.439 --> 00:54:14.119
Like we get so busy living that we aren't engaged in life anymore.
00:54:14.279 --> 00:54:17.239
And yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:17.399 --> 00:54:18.519
That's deep.
00:54:19.159 --> 00:54:20.199
That's deep.
00:54:20.439 --> 00:54:20.759
Yeah.
00:54:21.079 --> 00:54:30.199
Yeah, and it naturally leads to just a lot more dynamic thinking and relating to our own experience.
00:54:30.359 --> 00:54:30.519
Yeah.
00:54:30.759 --> 00:54:38.999
And we start to lose ultimately, we start to lose the fear of what other people think of us, which is really that primary fear.
00:54:39.159 --> 00:54:47.319
Again, one of those environmental mismatches, because we're we're dependent on what other people thought of us for our own survival for so long.
00:54:47.719 --> 00:54:49.319
And so that's what lives inside of us.
00:54:49.399 --> 00:54:59.319
So we again need to change those default settings in order to become more courageous, yeah, more vulnerable, more authentic.
00:54:59.639 --> 00:55:02.759
And all of these practices support that.
00:55:02.999 --> 00:55:11.399
And I think we've all had experiences where we've gone out on a limb, scared the crap out of ourselves, and then just retreated and never gone back again.
00:55:11.799 --> 00:55:12.119
Right.
00:55:12.279 --> 00:55:12.599
Yes.
00:55:12.919 --> 00:55:17.319
That the not the vulnerability hangover, but the the vulnerability trauma, right?
00:55:17.479 --> 00:55:20.999
So then what we're trying to do is have the hangover, but not the trauma, right?
00:55:21.079 --> 00:55:23.879
And these are the skills that we need in order to make that happen.
00:55:24.199 --> 00:55:25.959
Yeah, absolutely.
00:55:26.519 --> 00:55:27.399
Absolutely.
00:55:27.719 --> 00:55:28.359
So good.
00:55:29.079 --> 00:55:37.879
I was just thinking as you were saying that, it makes me think about, you know, I fly a lot, and whenever there's turbulence, I'm like, oh god, what am I doing?
00:55:38.039 --> 00:55:41.799
You know, that like moment of just like this is the stupidest thing.
00:55:42.039 --> 00:55:43.399
Why am I on here?
00:55:43.879 --> 00:55:56.279
And what I will think about is like all I want if it's sustained turbulence, is like all I want is just to walk in my house and smell the smell of my house.
00:55:56.439 --> 00:56:15.159
And those just simple things, like I want to see my kids, I want to be in our yard, I want to look at my garden, I want like these things that are available to me every single day that I'm so busy I can't find time to be with.
00:56:16.039 --> 00:56:27.799
And yet when I'm reminded of my own mortality, that's what comes soaring back to me is like this beautiful life I'm already in and actively missing.
00:56:28.279 --> 00:56:29.959
Yeah, yeah.
00:56:30.359 --> 00:56:31.559
Yeah, I know I love that.
00:56:31.639 --> 00:56:42.919
And I think that's that's another actually another sign of the generative brain, is and this relates to Maslow and the self-actualization idea, right?
00:56:43.159 --> 00:56:51.559
Which is actually in some ways measured by what was referred to as freshness of appreciation.
00:56:51.719 --> 00:56:59.879
I think those are the so freshness of appreciation is kind of one of the markers of self-actualization.
00:57:00.439 --> 00:57:08.599
So our ability to appreciate essentially the simple things in our lives and really take them in, right?
00:57:08.759 --> 00:57:16.279
And be in awe of your garden or of watching your kid kind of process their homework or whatever it is.
00:57:16.599 --> 00:57:17.639
Yeah, yeah.
00:57:18.119 --> 00:57:20.039
And yeah, it's really beautiful.
00:57:20.279 --> 00:57:20.599
Yeah.
00:57:20.999 --> 00:57:21.719
Beautiful.
00:57:22.039 --> 00:57:22.679
Wow.
00:57:23.799 --> 00:57:29.559
Well, I'm gonna we're gonna use death as our closing of this conversation.
00:57:29.799 --> 00:57:33.159
It seems like a great, great place to close out.
00:57:33.239 --> 00:57:37.639
And anything else you want to leave us with, Theo, before we get out of here.
00:57:38.119 --> 00:57:41.079
Um Theo isms.
00:57:41.959 --> 00:57:45.879
Gosh, I wish I had some zinger for you.
00:57:46.839 --> 00:57:48.519
Any jokes, any one-liners?
00:57:48.679 --> 00:57:49.639
Come on, comedian.
00:57:49.719 --> 00:57:50.119
What you got?
00:57:50.519 --> 00:57:51.799
Oh man, I don't know.
00:57:51.959 --> 00:57:53.239
I don't know, Tiffany.
00:57:53.559 --> 00:57:55.399
Not ready to take it out on the road yet.
00:57:57.799 --> 00:57:59.559
Uh I still gotta sharpen it up a bit.
00:57:59.959 --> 00:58:01.639
Yeah, I would just say season three.
00:58:01.719 --> 00:58:02.519
That'll be season three.
00:58:02.919 --> 00:58:03.879
Yeah, that'll be season three.
00:58:04.039 --> 00:58:06.039
Just uh just curiosity.
00:58:06.279 --> 00:58:10.199
Really just enjoy exploring your conscious experience.
00:58:10.839 --> 00:58:24.439
There are some teachers that that suggest that you just treat it all as a dream, you know, and and enjoy it, you know, all the good, all the bad, and just open yourself up to it.
00:58:24.679 --> 00:58:27.239
It it's a really it's a fun way to live.
00:58:27.399 --> 00:58:28.039
I'll say that.
00:58:28.519 --> 00:58:34.119
Yeah, I love I love the just open yourself up to it because you're already in it, is the thing, right?
00:58:34.279 --> 00:58:35.719
Like you're already in it.
00:58:35.799 --> 00:58:39.239
Yeah, and if you're like us, you're halfway through it, so hurry up.
00:58:39.319 --> 00:58:40.199
Yeah, totally.
00:58:40.359 --> 00:58:41.639
Hurry up and appreciate it.
00:58:41.719 --> 00:58:44.119
Yeah, awesome.
00:58:44.279 --> 00:58:47.399
Well, Theo, thank you a million times over.
00:58:47.559 --> 00:58:50.039
And yeah, I appreciate your time and energy.
00:58:50.119 --> 00:58:58.279
Yeah, and I'll point folks in the show notes to how to be able to connect with you and work with you and get to the recordings of the mindfulness broadcast.
00:58:59.159 --> 00:59:00.439
And yeah, thank you.
00:59:00.599 --> 00:59:01.639
All right, appreciate you.
00:59:01.959 --> 00:59:02.439
Thanks.
00:59:06.439 --> 00:59:08.999
Well, it was a great conversation, right?
00:59:09.399 --> 00:59:10.999
I didn't I didn't lie to you.
00:59:11.239 --> 00:59:13.639
So grateful for the time that Theo spent with us.
00:59:13.799 --> 00:59:19.159
If you were motivated or curious by anything Theo mentioned, please check the show notes.
00:59:19.399 --> 00:59:24.359
You can work directly one-on-one with Theo in individual coaching.
00:59:24.599 --> 00:59:25.879
Check out the link.
00:59:25.959 --> 00:59:29.639
You can find that opportunity at yesempower.com.
00:59:30.039 --> 00:59:43.079
Theo and I also take turns facilitating something called the Mindfulness Broadcast, which is a free offering every Friday we do live, and then we also record those and put them on a YouTube channel.
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So please make sure, again, check the show notes to find those to A, connect with us live every Friday.
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It's 15 minutes of mindfulness, and you don't have to have your face on or add anything verbally.
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It's just a place to show up and really receive the facilitation of a great neuroscience-based mindfulness process.
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And then, of course, if you miss those or you want to go back and check out what we've been doing over the last several years, you'll find probably hundreds at this point short videos that can lead you in your own neural training.
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Take care.
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We'll see you next week, folks.
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Rewired listeners, if this episode resonated with you, I'd be so honored to stay connected.
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Follow the podcast at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and iHeartRadio.
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Share an episode with someone in your life, and leave a five-star review.
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It helps people access these tools and this work and grow our community.
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At Empower Coaching and Training, we believe that when you understand your brain, you gain the power to change your patterns, your relationships, and your life.
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If you're ready to go deeper, you can always learn more about coaching and resources at yesempower.com.