WEBVTT
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How does your child, your athlete, see you, the parent?
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Do they see you as a a parent they can come and talk to?
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Do they see you as a parent that puts a lot of pressure on them?
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Uh what does your kids see you?
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Not what you think, but if you took a second to just step back, what does your child, your your teenage child, your middle school child think uh about you and how you view them?
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We're gonna talk about that today a little bit, and and I'm excited about that.
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We're gonna go back to one of the uh Small Town Legends podcasts, gonna pull a little clip from there, and then we're gonna talk about it.
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So let me pull that up real quick.
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Gotcha.
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What what was um like what were some of the things that because when I look at high school kids and remember my my days, it was just an emotional roller coaster.
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I mean, I was up, down, uh, neutral defer, I was everything, man.
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Um, what were some things that your parents did to help you in times of struggle?
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I I think it's just the ability to be comfortable with them.
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I never felt like, oh, I can't tell you about this or anything like that.
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It was I was always I I was a little bit of the black sheep of the family.
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So my family uh is LDS, and most of my siblings are as well.
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And I'm not, I'm a Christian, and it that that caused a little separation a little bit, but then eventually it was just we we accepted those those paths, and so a little bit in high school was a little split, and we didn't get along very well, but I I think that's also part of being a teenager, and but eventually, like now I I talk to my mom about everything, so it's really just being comfortable and knowing that like there's no judgment or they're still gonna love you in the end, and that that was not that was another big thing with athletics.
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My parents didn't care if I won or succeeded or anything like that, they just they just were there.
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Gotcha.
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Yeah, um, I I've seen both sides.
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I've seen some parents care too much and some parents not care enough.
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And I think there's a balance.
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I've I did my own mistakes, uh, probably put a little bit more of a uh live through my daughter than than I should have.
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But uh through those times, it's it's awesome how you can have a relationship that sports, if it's done right with the parents, you can build that relationship.
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And like you said, you have an awesome relationship with them today, and that's part of the stuff that I want uh parents to realize that this is when it comes to sports, you're building for the future, you know, they're probably not gonna be the NFL, they're not gonna, you know, they could be.
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I mean, but if they don't, they're gonna live a lot longer than and and do a lot more stuff outside of sports.
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So building that relationship, it's huge because sports helps you put them in situations that are tougher than you do anywhere else because life is not always easy, you know.
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You recently got married, correct?
00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:06.560
Yes, last year.
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And in marriage, sometimes is easy and sometimes it's hard, and you can use those moments as a parent to put your see your kid in situations and teach them how to push through, and it'll help them in marriage and those kind of things.
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Okay, so let's talk about some things that that uh Titus here talked about.
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And again, he's a head coach of a college wrestling program, you know, and he's he's successful, uh, he comes from a small town, and and let's think about what he said there.
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He said, I was able to go to my parents, I was able to talk to them.
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In the military, we talk about this as being an open door.
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Do you have a commander?
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Do you have uh your chain of command?
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Do they have an open door where you can share real concerns?
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Because if you don't, then you don't have good communication.
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And if they uh don't have that open door, uh that could hurt your unit, that could hurt your your flight, your platoon, your squadron, whatever you want to call it.
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And the same is true as a parent.
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Do you have an open door?
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And I'm gonna be honest with you.
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Some of the things that uh hurt the open door now that I'm past this stage and looking back and wanting to help you, is um, I think I let fear, fear what other parents would think of my child and in their performance, or if they won or loss, or living through my child as well, which is not a good thing.
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I I didn't need to live through my child.
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We just need to work on that relationship.
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But um so let me ask you, you know, that lens that your child is looking through you at do they have an open door?
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Can they just talk to you?
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Uh again, I think I did not have a good open door.
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I do now, and I've learned from it.
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And again, I want you parents to um to learn from that too.
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He also said something about outcome wasn't that important.
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And I I do think sometimes we put too much emphasis on the out the the outcome and not the effort.
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If if you're an athlete, your child is giving you the best effort they can, that's what it's that's what you need.
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You know, if they win or lose, it doesn't matter, but the effort does.
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You want them to put their effort in.
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And if they don't put the effort in, that's something that you guys can talk about and and go over.
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But uh the outcome is not as important because they're gonna be out of sports for a long time, and you might talk about sports a little bit, but it's not gonna be as much of a part of their life.
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Uh, once if they go to college and do college sports, that's awesome.
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But they're gonna work, they're gonna be in marriages, they're gonna be in life a lot longer.
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And if you've helped them with effort and not just outcome, and put so much emphasis on the outcome, their work ethic and their life and their commitment to to marriage and relationships and being a parent and those kind of things is what you're working towards.
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And you can use sports like we talked about in there.
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Are you building a relationship through sports?
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Um, if they have a bad game, how do you handle that?
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How do you how do you handle it if they don't put in their whole effort?
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Do you just get mad at them?
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Are you are you looking at them like, I know you could have done better?
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Oh, or like, hey, let's talk about this, let's let's have that open door and build that relationship that's gonna last a long, long time.
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Let's think about your relationship you had with your parents.
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When you look at the lens when you were in high school, if you think back and and you're looking at the lens of your parents and and how they uh interacted with you, what did that look like?
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Maybe it's good, maybe it's bad, but let's change it if it was bad, improve on it, make it better.
00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:08.879
Um kids they need these kind of relationships.
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They're uh high school's tough emotionally.
00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:16.319
Let's be honest.
00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:23.360
That's when some of the craziest emotions I had, and and some of the dumbest things I ever did was in high school.
00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:29.040
And it's just because I was my emotions were up and down and kind of all over the place.
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And and you want your kid to be able to come to you, you want your kid to be able to talk to you about anything.
00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:39.040
And I think Tyson had that.
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And and look, he's a he's a head coach, he's successful as a as a man, uh, and and those are great things.
00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:48.480
So just some things to think about.
00:07:48.639 --> 00:08:04.959
We like just to put some stuff out there, and we're just the goal here at Bootcamp Mindset is to help you as a parent, to coach, an athlete, uh, to reach your full potential as a parent, uh build those relationships and and as an athlete to reach your full potential.
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:07.040
So I hope this helps you.
00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:15.120
If if it does, uh go ahead and comment below, uh, like and subscribe and share it with someone uh that needs this as well.
00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:22.079
So until next time, let's have discipline today so we will not have regrets tomorrow.
00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:05.679
How does your child, your athlete, see you, the parent?
00:00:05.839 --> 00:00:09.039
Do they see you as a a parent they can come and talk to?
00:00:09.199 --> 00:00:13.039
Do they see you as a parent that puts a lot of pressure on them?
00:00:13.279 --> 00:00:15.439
Uh what does your kids see you?
00:00:15.519 --> 00:00:29.920
Not what you think, but if you took a second to just step back, what does your child, your your teenage child, your middle school child think uh about you and how you view them?
00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:34.320
We're gonna talk about that today a little bit, and and I'm excited about that.
00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:41.200
We're gonna go back to one of the uh Small Town Legends podcasts, gonna pull a little clip from there, and then we're gonna talk about it.
00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:42.880
So let me pull that up real quick.
00:00:43.119 --> 00:00:43.600
Gotcha.
00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:54.880
What what was um like what were some of the things that because when I look at high school kids and remember my my days, it was just an emotional roller coaster.
00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:59.600
I mean, I was up, down, uh, neutral defer, I was everything, man.
00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:05.280
Um, what were some things that your parents did to help you in times of struggle?
00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:12.400
I I think it's just the ability to be comfortable with them.
00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:16.640
I never felt like, oh, I can't tell you about this or anything like that.
00:01:16.719 --> 00:01:22.000
It was I was always I I was a little bit of the black sheep of the family.
00:01:22.159 --> 00:01:26.640
So my family uh is LDS, and most of my siblings are as well.
00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:55.680
And I'm not, I'm a Christian, and it that that caused a little separation a little bit, but then eventually it was just we we accepted those those paths, and so a little bit in high school was a little split, and we didn't get along very well, but I I think that's also part of being a teenager, and but eventually, like now I I talk to my mom about everything, so it's really just being comfortable and knowing that like there's no judgment or they're still gonna love you in the end, and that that was not that was another big thing with athletics.
00:01:55.760 --> 00:02:02.000
My parents didn't care if I won or succeeded or anything like that, they just they just were there.
00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:04.000
Gotcha.
00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:06.560
Yeah, um, I I've seen both sides.
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:10.000
I've seen some parents care too much and some parents not care enough.
00:02:10.159 --> 00:02:11.439
And I think there's a balance.
00:02:11.599 --> 00:02:20.159
I've I did my own mistakes, uh, probably put a little bit more of a uh live through my daughter than than I should have.
00:02:20.400 --> 00:02:29.840
But uh through those times, it's it's awesome how you can have a relationship that sports, if it's done right with the parents, you can build that relationship.
00:02:29.919 --> 00:02:47.199
And like you said, you have an awesome relationship with them today, and that's part of the stuff that I want uh parents to realize that this is when it comes to sports, you're building for the future, you know, they're probably not gonna be the NFL, they're not gonna, you know, they could be.
00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:53.120
I mean, but if they don't, they're gonna live a lot longer than and and do a lot more stuff outside of sports.
00:02:53.360 --> 00:03:03.120
So building that relationship, it's huge because sports helps you put them in situations that are tougher than you do anywhere else because life is not always easy, you know.
00:03:03.199 --> 00:03:05.360
You recently got married, correct?
00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:06.560
Yes, last year.
00:03:07.599 --> 00:03:20.639
And in marriage, sometimes is easy and sometimes it's hard, and you can use those moments as a parent to put your see your kid in situations and teach them how to push through, and it'll help them in marriage and those kind of things.
00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:26.159
Okay, so let's talk about some things that that uh Titus here talked about.
00:03:26.240 --> 00:03:38.159
And again, he's a head coach of a college wrestling program, you know, and he's he's successful, uh, he comes from a small town, and and let's think about what he said there.
00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:43.439
He said, I was able to go to my parents, I was able to talk to them.
00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:47.280
In the military, we talk about this as being an open door.
00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:48.560
Do you have a commander?
00:03:48.719 --> 00:03:50.560
Do you have uh your chain of command?
00:03:50.639 --> 00:03:53.360
Do they have an open door where you can share real concerns?
00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:57.039
Because if you don't, then you don't have good communication.
00:03:57.360 --> 00:04:08.960
And if they uh don't have that open door, uh that could hurt your unit, that could hurt your your flight, your platoon, your squadron, whatever you want to call it.
00:04:09.360 --> 00:04:11.520
And the same is true as a parent.
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:13.280
Do you have an open door?
00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:15.199
And I'm gonna be honest with you.
00:04:15.360 --> 00:04:35.680
Some of the things that uh hurt the open door now that I'm past this stage and looking back and wanting to help you, is um, I think I let fear, fear what other parents would think of my child and in their performance, or if they won or loss, or living through my child as well, which is not a good thing.
00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:38.000
I I didn't need to live through my child.
00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:40.319
We just need to work on that relationship.
00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:51.199
But um so let me ask you, you know, that lens that your child is looking through you at do they have an open door?
00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:53.199
Can they just talk to you?
00:04:53.360 --> 00:04:56.879
Uh again, I think I did not have a good open door.
00:04:56.959 --> 00:04:58.800
I do now, and I've learned from it.
00:04:58.959 --> 00:05:03.600
And again, I want you parents to um to learn from that too.
00:05:03.839 --> 00:05:07.600
He also said something about outcome wasn't that important.
00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:16.319
And I I do think sometimes we put too much emphasis on the out the the outcome and not the effort.
00:05:16.560 --> 00:05:23.439
If if you're an athlete, your child is giving you the best effort they can, that's what it's that's what you need.
00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:26.879
You know, if they win or lose, it doesn't matter, but the effort does.
00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:29.279
You want them to put their effort in.
00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:34.879
And if they don't put the effort in, that's something that you guys can talk about and and go over.
00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:49.199
But uh the outcome is not as important because they're gonna be out of sports for a long time, and you might talk about sports a little bit, but it's not gonna be as much of a part of their life.
00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:53.439
Uh, once if they go to college and do college sports, that's awesome.
00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:58.319
But they're gonna work, they're gonna be in marriages, they're gonna be in life a lot longer.
00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:16.000
And if you've helped them with effort and not just outcome, and put so much emphasis on the outcome, their work ethic and their life and their commitment to to marriage and relationships and being a parent and those kind of things is what you're working towards.
00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:18.560
And you can use sports like we talked about in there.
00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:21.680
Are you building a relationship through sports?
00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:25.600
Um, if they have a bad game, how do you handle that?
00:06:25.759 --> 00:06:28.879
How do you how do you handle it if they don't put in their whole effort?
00:06:29.040 --> 00:06:30.399
Do you just get mad at them?
00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:33.519
Are you are you looking at them like, I know you could have done better?
00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:42.800
Oh, or like, hey, let's talk about this, let's let's have that open door and build that relationship that's gonna last a long, long time.
00:06:43.040 --> 00:06:46.000
Let's think about your relationship you had with your parents.
00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:57.839
When you look at the lens when you were in high school, if you think back and and you're looking at the lens of your parents and and how they uh interacted with you, what did that look like?
00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:03.519
Maybe it's good, maybe it's bad, but let's change it if it was bad, improve on it, make it better.
00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:08.879
Um kids they need these kind of relationships.
00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:14.720
They're uh high school's tough emotionally.
00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:16.319
Let's be honest.
00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:23.360
That's when some of the craziest emotions I had, and and some of the dumbest things I ever did was in high school.
00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:29.040
And it's just because I was my emotions were up and down and kind of all over the place.
00:07:29.199 --> 00:07:36.879
And and you want your kid to be able to come to you, you want your kid to be able to talk to you about anything.
00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:39.040
And I think Tyson had that.
00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:46.879
And and look, he's a he's a head coach, he's successful as a as a man, uh, and and those are great things.
00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:48.480
So just some things to think about.
00:07:48.639 --> 00:08:04.959
We like just to put some stuff out there, and we're just the goal here at Bootcamp Mindset is to help you as a parent, to coach, an athlete, uh, to reach your full potential as a parent, uh build those relationships and and as an athlete to reach your full potential.
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:07.040
So I hope this helps you.
00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:15.120
If if it does, uh go ahead and comment below, uh, like and subscribe and share it with someone uh that needs this as well.
00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:22.079
So until next time, let's have discipline today so we will not have regrets tomorrow.
