OM DENNE EPISODE
Marcus sits at his kitchen table on a Sunday evening. A glass of bourbon. Six exit interview transcripts.
Five of the six carry the same three words: "I felt invisible."
He sets them down and tries an exercise his coach recommended. Eight people on his team. Name what each one does best.
He reaches three and stops. That’s all he’s got. And after fourteen months as their people leader.
That night his teenage daughter Jada appears in the porch doorway and says, "About earlier, Dad. You don't really want my opinion. You just want me to agree with yours."
His team tells him. His daughter tells him.
This week's episode gives you the five practices that transform what Marcus faces. You follow him for ten months, from that porch to a kitchen table moment that surprises everybody sitting at it.
Key Insights- You attract who you are. Your team organizes itself around what you release every workday, and around what your job posting claims a distant second. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic finds the same thing: organizations attract candidates who match the values they demonstrate.
- Two trees grow side by side in Dr. Joey's front yard. The black walnut releases juglone into the soil and the tomatoes, blueberries, and azaleas wither. The red oak enriches the soil, so mushrooms thrive, songbirds nest, and squirrels store acorns. Same yard, same sun, same rain, two different ecosystems.
- Your behaviors travel three degrees out. Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler document how emotions and habits move through social networks, reaching candidates two networks away who read your job posting next month.
- A pine grove holds through heavy snow because the branches touch. The pine standing twenty feet off snaps and uproots. Julianne Holt-Lunstad's meta-analyses show people with strong social relationships hold a fifty percent greater likelihood of survival across follow-up periods.
- Loneliness rides to work with your team. Vivek Murthy's 2023 advisory documents that roughly half of American adults report significant loneliness, carrying mortality risk above that of smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.
- Maya asks Marcus one question that turns him. "Whose name on your team did you write down first?" He says, "Priya." She says, "Marcus, Priya is your pine grove. You have yet to lean."
- Forty-three minutes hold fourteen months of value. Marcus finally asks Priya three questions. She names two operational fixes worth six hours a week, one tenant relationship needing his escalation, and one team member whose talent he overlooked.
- Four words open the door: "I need your help." Wayne Baker finds the top reason people miss the help waiting for them at work. They have yet to ask. Heidi Grant names the four obstacles: looking incompetent, imposing, feeling indebted, giving up control.
- Some colleagues answer every new idea with three reasons it fails. The sun goes down and those Eeyores morph into Eeyore Vampires, draining your sleep and your energy for the next workday. Robert Sutton documents over $160,000 in lost productivity and turnover from one of them across two years.
- Christine Porath prices the small unkindnesses. Work quality drops 38 percent. Creativity drops 30 percent. Time spent on actual work drops 47 percent.
- The same soil grows a maple sapling and poison ivy. Dirt nourishes whatever it receives. Recognizing the poison ivy is governance. Withholding the water is governance. Transplanting the maple is governance.
- Cooperation and collaboration differ. Cooperation is two people working alongside each other. Collaboration is two people creating something neither could conceive alone.
- Co-own your projects. Marcus and Devin co-lead a tenant onboarding redesign. Ninety-day churn drops 31 percent. Eight months on, Priya turns down a competing offer and writes Marcus four words: "I see myself here."
- The practice goes home with you. Marcus asks Jada her opinion on a college decision and listens twenty-three minutes before he offers his own. She texts her best friend on the way upstairs: "He listened. He really listened."
Write your three lists this week.
Your core values as you demonstrate them at work this month. Your work priorities as your calendar shows them. Your unique contribution as your team experiences it.
Then ask one trusted person who watches you closely to write the same three lists about you.
Compare them. Where the two lists match, your magnet attracts the team you want. Where they diverge, your magnet attracts the team you have.
That gap is your starting point.
Links- Free Work Positive Culture Assessment: workpositive.today
- A.L.I.G.N. @ Work: Five Practices That Transform How Your Team Collaborates: https://amzn.to/4zyDW4p
- F.R.A.M.E. @ Work: Five Lenses That Transform How People Leaders Cultivate Their Team: https://amzn.to/3RF7yfm
Action turns an acronym into a transformation.
Take the free Work Positive Culture Assessment at workpositive.today. About ten minutes gives you a clear read on where your culture stands today, and which A.L.I.G.N. practice holds the most opportunity for your team.
